Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 578: Christina Segura

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

Christina Segura, co-host of Your Mom's House and Where My Moms At?, joins the DTFH! Check out Christina's podcasts! YMH and Where My Moms At? are available everywhere you like to listen! If you’re in the Austin, TX area and interested in some of the amazing people who helped Erin & Duncan with the birth of their third child, here they are! Maybe they can help you too! Lauren Foreman, CNM Emily Stanwyck, Birth Doula Tori Chaffin, Postpartum Doula Dr. Allie Day Goodwin, Chiropractor Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: Lumi Labs - Visit MicroDose.com and use code DUNCAN at checkout for 30% Off and FREE Shipping on your first order!  AG1 - Visit DrinkAG1.com/Duncan for a FREE 1-year supply of vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site.

We have six billion smartphones in the world right now capable of taking high-resolution photos and video There's a million people at any given moment airborne With windows looking out into our atmosphere and your best evidence for aliens. There's some fuzzy lights that aren't on classified video by the government. Really? Point man have a seat no insurance can't do him alright. Yeah right now I know that my brain is just another life Sire it's a sire Don't have a brain just another Sire Don't have a brain just another

Sire Sire Don't have a brain. I don't know it's just a sire Sire it's a sigh, I don't have a brain, just another sigh If I can't see it, then it's not true, and I know that my skull is not filled with goo then how do you think? My skull is not filled with goo then how do you think? I'm thinking that you're a brain theory saints You say you have a brain that is in your head Connected to your ears, your eyes, your spine, and skeleton

I say them proven, you say don't need to I drop a mic and walk away, I got you Saw yo, it's a saw yo Don't have a brain just another saw yo Saw yo, it's a sigh, I'm sorry, I don't have a brain, I know it's just a sigh, I'mire. Sire. Sire. Sire. Sire. Sire. Sire.

I don't have a brain. It's just another sire. Sire. Sire. Sire. Sire. Sire. Sire.

Sire. I don't have a brain. I know. It's just another sire. I don't have a brain. What would you't have a brain What would you do with a brain if you had one? I don't have a brain

Ooh, I don't have a brain Ooh, I don't have a brain Ooh, I don't want to play Oh, don't have to hide in the fire Cause I know it's the time I'm sorry That's enough, I don't have to play So, what do I want to play That's a sigh-up by Jim Morrissey. And I want to thank Tess Cidore Records

for allowing me to play that. It's at the top of the charts, and it deserves to be what a banger. Hi everybody, I'm Duncan. You're listening to the Duncan Trustle Family Hour podcast. And I am pleased to announce that we have a new baby in the house, a wonderful little girl. And I'm in baby land. I'm in paradise. My brain is pumping out all kinds of weird, neuro transmitters,

oxytocin, and God knows what else is going on. But when you have a new baby in the house, it's like having a little rising sun that's around you all day. In this case, a rising daughter, but you know what I mean. It's like a sunrise. It's incredible. I'm so happy. I feel so, so buoyant and joyful. How can you not be when you're around some kind of radiant, super intelligent,

something that has yet to take on any kind of personality other than the past life imprints and the basic primordial life force. By the way, I didn't say that. The baby told me to say that. Speaking of the baby, I want to give a shout out to all of the wonderful people who helped my wife bring this wonderful child into the world. I personally feel so indebted to these wonderful women, because there's only so much a guy can do. And Diablo IV happened to come out exactly around the last part of the pregnancy, so it's not like I could be hands-on

the way that I wanted to. So thank you to these wonderful women. Lauren Foreman, our midwife with sacred space midwifery. She's a home-birth midwife. Did all of Aaron's prenatal and postpartum care and she was with us every step of the way for nine months and after two. Allison, if you're out there, this was the hospital midwife, we ended up in the hospital. She is an expert at turning babies. So she essentially had to fist airing to get the baby turned the right way while I watched and aww. Emily Stanwick

Ardula, my God bless you Emily. She came with zero notice and held Aaron's hand while she screamed like an Irish barbarian and Tori, a lioness birth training for feeding us and helping us during postpartum. I got to eat the food too. The food is technically for Aaron, but I ate a lot of it. So I'm sorry about that, Tory. Thank you for making enough for my hairy ass.

If you are in need of any kind of birth help, these are the people you need to reach out to and all the links you need to find them will be at duncantrustle.com. Thank you so much. O great birth, witches, goddesses. They really are witches, like in the positive sense of the word. I don't know any other way to put it. They're right there, right there

with their faces smashed into the life force, super cool mystical people. I hope you will consider working with them if you are lucky enough to be bringing a baby into the world. Also, I won't name any names, but if you have them help me with my Necromancer build in Diablo IV, they are there to support the husband too. What a podcast we have for you today. One of my dear friends is here with us today. You know her from your mom's house or where are my

moms at. She's one of the funniest people I know living on planet Earth. Christina Saguara is here with us today. Before we jump into this episode, I would love for you to consider subscribing to my Patreon. It's at patreon.com forward slash DTFH you subscribe you get access to our thriving growing abundant glorious community on our discord server and also you get commercial free episodes of the DTFH and even better, no matter what tier you subscribe at, you can come hang out with us once a week every Friday we gather we start in the morning with a nice 20-minute meditation

and then we ramble about everything I feel so lucky to be part of this community and I hope you will consider joining us it's patreon.com forward slash DTFH finally I have some some live standup shows coming up starting the 8th of September. If you're out there in Illinois, Rosemont, Illinois, come see me at Zaini's. After that, I'm headed to Tacoma, to the Tacoma Comedy Club. I hope you'll come see me there. Then I'm going to be at Cobbs in San Francisco. That's October 23rd.

After that, I'm at Helium in Philadelphia. Then the Spokane Comedy Club in November. And then finally, I'm gonna be in Salt Lake City, Utah. It whys guys. Then December, you could come see me in Charlotte, North Carolina. These tickets are moving fast, friends. So don't sleep.

Get them now. Be organized. Make me feel good. It fills me with a kind of horrific, narcissistic glee when my shows sell out way ahead of schedule. Please inflate my ego, pump it up, make it big, swollen, veiny, oozy. And oh, I almost forgot. I added a new date. I'm gonna be at the comedy Mother Ship September 17th in Austin, Texas. You can find all these links by going to

www.dunkatressel.com. They're not all up there yet, but they will be or just go to the website of any of the clubs I mentioned and you can get tickets there. All right, everybody, please welcome back to the DTFH, Christina Segura. Welcome to the DTFH. I'm so happy to see you today. Bloody. I am so thrilled to be here. What an honor. I mean, everything from the caliber of guests that you've had

to the fine music celebrities like Justin Bieber have made songs for the... I know. I know. Thank you so much. Look, I'm lucky. I couldn't believe it when Bieber sent me the song that is actually that people just listened to in the intro for this podcast. Siops. I mean, it's amazing, but the caliber of guests just got better because you're here. Because you're here. And I look, you know, the other day when I got to do your podcast, you texted me and I just missed the text and you were asking last minute if I could do your podcast. And I was so excited.

And then the next text was like, I'll forget it. But I love doing your show. It's the, it is so fun. And you and Tom have just got such an inspirational operation running like every time I walk in there I'm like oh my god this is the mecca of podcasting like how many sets do you have five functioning awesome podcasts, that's an incredible group of people working with you. How did you do that? First of all, you're embarrassing me. You know, I don't we're comedians. We don't like compliments. So I'm already like I'm in a game right now.

I'm just listening. Sorry. Sorry. But first of all, I have so much fun. Just talking to you. I feel like I feel like you're one of those few people that has such a great frequency. And you know, people are blessed enough to listen to your podcast and get like a sense of who you are, but actually being with you. I mean, I think you are, like, you might be an alien, you might be a celestial being that is having a meat experience,

a meat body experience. I think you are. You're not from this world. Listen, none of us are. And I'll tell you, I don't think I'm going to pick the meat experience. Like if there is like a, some kind of, I don't know, cosmic spa, where you're getting to pick your incarnations. Who really is?

Like, let me be wrapped in meat that has to shit and can catch on fire. Like, I'm assuming there's all these other things you could pick like cosmic cloud of orgasmic sentient dust or but who's like yeah I want to be hairy. I want to be fucking irritated and then most of my life. Is there anything you got anything meaty and irritated? And sweaty.

Yeah. I'm sweaty and anxious and sad and then happy and then like all these different states of being. And like I'm full disclosure, leaning, I'm weaning off of the lexapro right now. And so I was like, you know, for like a few years, because I did it after I had my second child. It was so disinterprest. And now I'm like, oh my God,

this is all the range of human emotions that I forgot. Did? Because I was like, everything is great. Like I totally was an Alexa pro, hey. That's what Alexa pro does to you? It did for me, yeah, it made me really happy for like four years. Hey,

I'm an Alexa pro. Maybe really happy for like four. I haven't felt anything for years. What's up? So you're feeling the downs and the peaks in the lows now. Yeah, I think before, like the lows would come and then I would try to beat them down. Cause LexaPro is like, don't do that, la la la la, you're fine. And then your brain just changes the subject for you.

It's like, let's talk about kittens. Let's get on TikTok. Okay, I'm gonna go with the flow. So now, Ana's like, all right, well, you can go there for a minute and feel whatever it is. And then just dip back into like normal, normal stasis, whatever that is for me.

Is that what you're like experiencing? It is like you're kind of like, la la la, and that is for me. Is that what you're experiencing? Is like you're kinda like, la, la, la, la, and then you kinda get fucked around and then you go back into your baseline. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's like there's so many, my friends are psychiatrists and like he was explaining to me just sort of environmental triggers, like how you, when you, I don't know, you your four and God knows what you saw or heard

or some rotten thing happen and you don't remember that things ever you don't but it gets locked up in your body and so if you know some time of year comes around where that thing happened and the wind blows just the right way, you will suddenly experience like an anxiety attack or depression or God knows what and you won't even know why because you can't remember that your this awful thing happened and your wonderful body which wants to keep you alive as long as possible was like, all right, they're not gonna remember this shit. So let's just make it so, in the very beginning of fall, let's make it so they get really, really stressed out and careful, because I think this thing happens

at the beginning of fall every year. Yeah. That's how dumb your body is. Okay, so the beginning of fall must be when all dads throw an astray at moms in front of kids. So let's make sure that she's very careful at the beginning of fall. And now, now you've got this thing locked in, yeah, it sucks. So yeah, I mean, yeah, there's so much, I think, that we are, that's happening to us, that we try to rationalize with shit

that's going on around us. Oh, I feel like this because, you know, Obama, because of that weird shit Obama wrote to his friend, you know, what do you do? But by the way, I was like, forget the homosexuality, the letter was so elegantly written.

I didn't even understand what the fuck he's talking about. If he sent me that letter, like if we were in college and Obama sent me that letter, I would be at his dorm room sucking his dick in like 10 minutes. I'd be over there with some Herman Hessa playing some Nick Drake and just blowing Obama for hours. What a seductive, romantic man.

Like my God. Brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant. It's all, no, it's too. He's like, you know, I can imagine a 21 year old hot Obama, he's physically at his peak. Yeah. And then like, you know, every day I fantasize

about making love to men, but then, you know, why can't we all just bang each other? It's basically, right? I don't even try getting the letter. I'm like, yeah, I've had that idea, but I didn't say it so eloquently. Like, no, no. That's like, I read some of his other letters.

They're all just incredible. I mean, like, you see how he became president, phenomenal, like phenomenally romantic letter writer. And yeah, but I, I, I, I, you know, it's funny how, like people try to use that to like fuck with it. Like there's other things you can fuck you. Like he, he about drones blowing up people in Afghanistan. He's a piece of shit.

You know, like if you, let's say you had had a drunk driving accident and killed a bunch of kids and then later down the line at some talk you were giving, you made a joke like, don't forget, sometimes I'm a little sloppy at the wheel. Everyone will feel like, uh, yikes. What level of like psychopathy do you have to have

to beat that unaware of like how you're coming off? Right. And also like people don't even write letters anymore. They just text message. So like if you die, when you die, not if, when, and they're like, don't contrast all the great comedian, left a legacy of fine text messages, like, what are they gonna look for?

Oh, people's letters. And like, back, right? Like you agreed, like, love letters that hit lurs and ava brawn or whatever. Nothing now that's comparable to letters like podcasts where we're like talking about our shits and stuff. Yeah. No, it's not going to be the Obama style legacy. It's going to be like, President Cronk, a series of emojis, President Cronk sent to Lord Greger, beautiful emoji placement to alien heads, to alien heads. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll, eye roll, and a thumbs down. And that was the beginning of World War V.

Right. And dick pin. There's gonna be a gallery of people's genitals. Because, I mean, I don't send my genitals, but this is what this generation does. That's what it's gonna be. And it's cool. We can't really shame people for sexuality

anymore. Because I don't, I think Obama's homosexual inclinations were a gigantic nothingburger. Was anybody like, whoa, like, okay. That was a nothingburger. It didn't even work. Whoever was trying to like blow up Obama with that beautiful, romantic fucking letter, just like made everyone wish he was president again. And it's all it did. Like from the left to the right, everybody's like, God, wow, look at that, it can form complete sentences. Oh my God.

It's not a tweet, like a dumb fuck tweet. Yeah, unreal. Yeah, it's not a dumb tweet or just some like in-go-arant stammering, which has been the last two presidents. Like, one is like, I beat you into pulp with boot on face. And the other one is like, uh, uh.

Come on, man, it's craftsmist, and grand believer's grass. Well, lay on the grass and that was America. What are you talking about? It is astounding that in this entire land, we couldn't find decent presidents. We can't find a guy, just give me a sane white guy to run things again. Fine. Just say to anybody, sane.

It speaks well for our country that we have gone through what almost eight years of to like incoherent psychopaths and worse still like the country is still functioning. It's it's amazing. Like it's amazing, like it's incredible that, yeah, guess the president really, all that we know now is the president doesn't really matter, right, because they're both, they both in their own way have been just so phenomenally horrific at talking.

Like, you know what I mean, we don't, whatever their economic shit is, I don't understand, maybe it's good, maybe it's bad. But I know talking, and they both suck at it. So bad. Can't even communicate. Just like the one thing you gotta do, just stand up and say the words, puppet,

and that nobody can do it. No. Can't even talk. You don't need to talk. Well, as the president of the United States, you can just... Ugh. Blah!

In the English term, shrimp. Yeah, pink creatures. Everyone loves a shrimp. Goodbye. Like you're five. It's like, okay, I guess that's what we have to accept. It's a democracy. Oh my god. He is half dead and is he gonna run again?

Is that- I have no idea. I don't know how we get- I don't know if either of them is gonna run again. I don't know. I don't understand why they're can't- like, I know that everyone hates Biden or half the people- I don't know what the situation is popularity-wise with Trump or Biden, other than I know that everyone hates Biden or half the people, I don't know what the situation is, popularity-wise with Trump or Biden, other than I know at least half the country hates one or the other, right? Half the country hates. Yeah.

So why can't we do a vote? Why, I don't understand why there can't be a vote, should they be allowed to run? Or like, why don't we wipe this late clean and just take them out of the picture and do an election without either of them. Just wipe this late clean. We fucked up, we tried, we wanted to see what would happen.

It's almost like a reality show. Let's take someone at the end of a very long cocktail party and make the president. See how the country runs. We're voting them off the island, but this is what's exciting is that we are now making way for our new alien overlords. Yes.

So maybe this is the perfect time with disclosure happening. Is this where this is heading? Are we gonna have a tall, what is it? The tall blondes with the blue eyes, the Nordics? The Nordics. Yeah, those are the hot aliens. Apparently there's many species.

The Nordics are the ones you wanna get abducted by. And not the grays. Well, I hear the grays are like not really personable that they're like little robots, you know, they're not very fun. Yeah, they are. This is what I've heard about the grays. They smell awful because that's how they piss.

They piss through their sweat and they piss like ammonia. So they smell like shit. They smell terrible. Whereas I think the Nordic smell, kind of like rosemary, you know, bergamot maybe, just a nice kind of earthy smell to them. They're but the grays, you end up on a gray, you know, like, do you ever have a hamster? No, but we did in our class and I remember the shavings were always covered in piss. I think it was a gray smell like hamster shavings. That's a smell like kind of a ammonia. What a disgusting animal a creature to have. I think a hamster is like so useless.

I remember we used to have it in that plastic ball in the classroom and it would like run. And then the most sadistic kid in the class would grab the ball and shake it. Yeah, inevitably. That the hamster is in an incomprehensible eldritch hell. Like, it doesn't have the brain to assimilate, it knows whatever is like putting it in the ball is not hamsters. It's whatever it is, is like terrifying furless, which means disease. Like, it speculates, is it giant sick hamsters? Are they, are they, but yeah, it's hell and yeah,

giving a classroom of kids a hamster. Oh, it's horrible. And then it hamster and then a little hand comes in a smelly little candy-covered hand comes into your cage and rips you out of your piss shavings which you're finally used to the smell of your own urine and your things and then they take you out for torture. Yeah it's time to go in the torture ball. Me time, and you run, because you're like, fuck, just maybe, just maybe I could get this ball out the door, just fucking maybe down the hall.

I don't know what's on the other side of all, maybe more hamsters to save me. I bet I just have to get out of this. And no, you're never getting out motherfucker. You're gonna go back in that thing, and you're gonna run on that wheel to train. You're like, okay, I'll just train. I'll get faster, I'll get faster.

Maybe I can get that ball out of here. Hamsters, you're right. And it's a sad pet to get. They don't live that long, I don't think. And like, they just escape inevitably, and then they're, you gotta know you have a rat in your house basically. I want to thank Lumi Labs for supporting the DTFH and also friends at Lumi Labs. I want to thank you for supplying me with incredible edibles while I'm living in Texas.

My God, that was the saddest part of leaving LA, all those wonderful dispensaries. But the wizards at loomy labs have figured out a way to produce glorious, perfect edibles that are available nationwide. I would not lead you astray my darlings. They keep sending me these glorious boxes every single month. These edibles are the best that I've ever had. They are the perfect dose. You don't have to worry about that old demon wolf clambering out of its cave in your mind and whispering dark horrors into the ears of your psyche.

That can happen with other edibles out there. You know what I'm talking about? If you're creating these nuclear bomb edibles that cause people to freak out on planes and say they see shape shifters, that is not this kind of edible. No, no, no. It's perfect. It's perfect for working out. It's perfect for relaxing after work. It's perfect for me because I travel a bunch because I'm being a comic and I can deeply grateful to you, a beautiful, loomy, labs, alchemists for producing the ultimate micro-dose gummy. Microdose is available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THC. Go to microdose.com and use code Duncan to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description at ducatrossel.com but again it's

microdose dot com code Duncan my friends you'll thank me once your wonderful arrives at your home. Thank you, Lumi Labs. I'm so interested in that show alone on Netflix where people are so amazing. And I love it too. I love the idea of being able to live off the land, deal with the isolation involved, because I think that's ultimately what takes people out before the parasites. So if you don't get parasites from eating wild beaver and squirrels, it's like how are they even fucking catching a squirrel? First of all, I have them in my backyard. You know, hard it is to hear a squirrel and there's motherfuckers on that show that are like, I can hear Squirrel, like how? And then he takes his fucking bow and arrow, and he shoots it, and Tom was like,

you know, those are just rats basically, like squirrels are tree rats. And I was like, oh, my God, dude, I didn't even realize because they're so cute and they're tail so fluffy, you know? Yeah, they're rats, they're rats, they're, God knows what's in any, like that's the thing with naked and afraid the whole genre of survival shows is You will see like the the top idiot Who's been without water for a day, which I understand that is fucked up

We'll go to the first muddy pool of water. And be like, oh, probably be okay. And just drink in the Sahara. Like that's probably not even water. It's like hyena piss. And he's there, he's, oh, oh. And then look at the other one who's like smarter in the smug way, like, not bad, not the best. You know, but you don't see six months down the line.

After the show is over, the tapings over, and they go to the bathroom, and they just shit worms. Just shit unidentified to hair and worms that have been living inside it. Oh, well, yeah, because we were wondering. So I watched the latest season. I don't know if you've seen that one. And they can't think, and they're in like,

just nowhere, Canada, and like Winterbro. And this guy's eating, he catches a beaver, which is a huge windfall. Like you catch a bee, pretty good for like three weeks. That's a lot of food. It's a lot of food. And then he makes it into jerky,

and then he renders the fat, and he's eating the fat. And then of lot of food and then he makes it into jerky and then he renders the fat and he's eating the fat and then of course lo and behold that will destroy your guts. This poor guy. Is he got fat? I beaver fats bad for you? Aaron! Are you joking? Aaron, we can't even be for Fatty more! Oh my god, it fucked up his stomach. So bad. And this is one of those hardcore. Like, I found that on that show, the people who do the best are the most traumatized. They're so traumatized from their childhoods that they've learned how to live without people. It's so cool. But yeah, he, it just was like, he was spraying out of his ass for for days and they have to

tap out. Because could you imagine a liability if somebody dies on your survival show? Well, that's, I think, is in when you're in production and you realize that you have footage of one of your contestants blasting out Beaver Fat Diary. Everyone's just like, fuck yes. Fuck yes. Are you guys getting that? We got to make sure we get a shot of that pungent, curdled puddle of Beaver Fat shit

because this is gold., because this is gold. Yeah. But then yeah, they're like, okay, okay. How long does he have to live? Three days? Are you sure? We can't extend it to four. Okay, three.

Okay, we'll get them at the very end of the third day. Because they wanna do, right? They wanna sweep in right before they die. They want to get them right to the brink of death, but they can't die on the show. It'll insurance wise. They got to get them to the hospital. Then it's not their responsibility anymore. Yeah.

I mean, you think about eating off the land like that. All those things or have all those animals have worms. Like you just drink a bad margarita in Mexico and you're trash. But like your guts are dust for like a month, dude. Dude silver like probably 10 years ago. Do you remember? Did you ever eat it that it might still be there's a vegan restaurant they're called Flora or something like that, Flora, Floral. So I went down there and I'm like, I'm gonna be healthy.

I'm gonna eat vegan, I'm gonna get a vegan salad. And I remember like I'm walking in and there's this doo-doo works there. Sitting on the curb in these nasty leather pants and like I think he had like shitty like leather suspenders on. He didn't look healthy. It's kind of like, I don't know, just like you could see he didn't seem healthy.

He's just smoking and I remember watching the way like stabs the cigarette out, but I was hungry. I'm like, I'm gonna go and eat. I got a salad there and I got home and like it was the worst bout of food poisoning I ever had in my life just days of vomiting Shum and I called them. I'm like man. You guys there's something in your food man I just ate there and got the worst food poisoning and they were just like okay. Well, thanks for all the so What are they gonna do like they don't care?

So, what are they gonna do? Like, they don't care. Yeah, it was so bad. It's in that's just, that's at a restaurant where there's theoretical health codes. So yeah, you're out in the woods. Oh my. Wiping your ass with barker. Oh my God.

Yeah, I couldn't imagine. I mean, I'm so stupid. I didn't realize you could get sick from like vegetables, from like not meat. Yeah, oh yeah, they'll get you. Vegetables are like just, well also because like they come in contact with like in some shitty restaurant,

you know, in the back, they just throw the salad next to the chicken, a little bit of chicken juice splashes on the salad, then just everyone's sick and dying. They don't, we so much faith. We have so much faith. We want you out to eat so much faith. Oh, have you ever worked in a restaurant?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. You were a dishwasher. Yes, same Z, not a dishwasher, but a server. And you're, yeah, I worked at an Indian restaurant at one point. Yo, like I will never, though the fucking mango chutney was in a bucket and then it was in a dirty like bag in a bucket

and then the server would put their whole arm in the plastic bag to scoop out the mango chutney. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Backstage backstage. I remember making the what is it? You mix ranch with ketchup to make some. Oh, that was violent. Thousand island is just ketchup and ranch. And you know, that's the shit job. The dishwashers do that. They know the servers aren't doing that. That's the dishwashers back there with like a mop handle and a bucket just spraying, not measuring. You're just waiting for it to go like a certain color pink and you're like, all right, I

guess that's 1000 islands. That was gonna give us shit. Oh, God, oh, God, we just have so much faith, so much faith. You just assume you come in, you're like, you're, you're, you're, you've, you've made a reservation because it's a fancy place and the, they've, though, the, the, they're all dressed in like really nice outfits and the lighting's perfect, but you don't see the back. You don't see the underpaid line chefs who are all like sick of working there and coming up or coming down. They've been partying all fucking night. They're banging waitresses and waiters in the walk-in.

in the walk-in. Ugh. Yeah. Or even just, if you work, so I worked at a French restaurant, it doesn't exist anymore. It was called Lous d'Auch Cafe. It was across from the improv, and I was a waitress there. And if you've ever seen a restaurant during the daytime,

like, you know, you go to these nighttime dinner places, but during the daylight, or even at a bar and they turn those lights on and you see even just the floors bro like yo and that smell of like there's this very distinct smell to like stations it's like it smells like rancid ketchup. So same smell of comedy. Like when you walk through the bins, to go into the kitchen and then to the room, it's so funny. It's so humbling, right? Like every time you think you're also in the comedy, you're like, oh, I'm walking through the dumpsters again.

Yeah. That's right. You're in, hopefully you're brought back to this service industry days and you remember mother fucker You could easily be land back there again. You better deflate that fucking ego balloon You know because this is this is reality You but wow that's nuts. I ate it that place by the improv. What's it called again? It was there called mustache cafe Yeah, I remember eating getting it. I think I got a sandwich there.

Something you say you were you were doing stand up and a server. This is how you were getting by. No, no, this is the early days. So I was at the ground links. This is when I started doing. I was in like, you know, improv. Did you always do stand up? Or did you start with improv?

Or I did I did always did stand up. I never really took an improv class. I wish I had. I mean, I'd love to know, I would love to have that hard baked in all the rules and stuff. Whenever you seek good improvisation, not bad, shitty improvisation is most horrific that you were on your life. But when you see the good stuff is from a comics perspective

and it's so infuriating, because they're just generating actually funny content in the moment, no problem. And that's pretty weird and completely mysterious. But it's the rules, right? It's because they have a set of a chemistry that just they know how to like, how formula that works. And I didn't like that. I didn't like those rules. And I

know so I wanted to play a man. I remember I wanted to do male characters. I thought that would be so funny. And they're like, no, you can't. You can only be a woman. I'm like, what? Stupid. Yeah. I thought, oh, how sad. Like, so I don't know. I just didn't, but it was good. It was good just to to know that if you're funny or not, you know, and then I started to make stand-up later. But yeah, waiting tables. I worked every crummy retail job. I worked at a parking booth in college.

I have had a lot of terrible jobs, for sure. What's the crappiest you've had? The crappiest, let me think of the crapp, well the crappiest job I had was a telemarketing job, selling credit card insurance. Oh! The worst, the worst. I lasted one week on that job.

And because they paid you for training. I remember going in for training, hearing that you get like four days off a year or something, realizing I could pretty much leave training, take the four paid days off. And just quit. The second worst job was Clifford and Wells. I was a telemarketer.

I took catalog orders and a Clifford and a catalog company. So people would call in in the old days. They don't only do that anymore order like fucking sweaters and shit. You'd have to put codes in. Oh my god. Yeah, I did telemarketing. I did for the Hollywood Bowl, which was actually pretty amazing because.

That's cool. Yeah, I got to learn like who Gustavo Dutamel was. You know, I didn't fucking know any of that stuff. And I was surprised that people spent thousands of dollars a year for like, memberships to whatever concerts and stuff. It blew me away. I was like, oh, rich people do crazy stuff. Like, $3,000 a year to go see concerts

you're out of your mind. $3,000, remember that? I'm like, that, how much money that was? Like, that was fucking changed my life. And you're like spinning that to see, dude, a man lined up. I think $3,000 at one point a month was my whole nut that I had to cover to stay afloat when I was doing comedy. Like I yeah, life down to such a science like rent.

I got down to like 700 bucks in LA, which was a. Yep. And then, you know, your car as well, like 500 with, oh god, it was so awful. And you just prayed that you didn't have to get dental work done or that like you didn't have a medical issue. Oh my God, I can remember that. I can remember once getting an ache in my mouth.

And I'm like, oh fuck, that's a cavity. That's it. And I can't afford it that. No. What am I gonna do? I'm gonna have to do what Tom Hanks did in cast away. Like, I'm gonna have to like find a spoon and wrench it out of my mouth

and then it just stopped hurting. Probably because the nerve died. It's not like your teeth healed. I bet I was just- It popped hurting? That never. It was a miracle. It was a miracle.

Maybe God healed it. I don't know, but it was a miracle. Or the aliens miracle. Maybe God healed it. I don't know, but it was a it was a miracle Or the aliens because I hear some of them have healing properties That's what they say. Yeah, they say they can heal you they's well, I mean whatever it is Is no different than what it's always been I guess is where we're at now just because I had this like Unnerving moment when I realized is it just gonna start out like are they just gonna?

Rediscover what like ancient people knew to be the truth but with new words and then we're just gonna be like back where we were there's angels There's demons there's heaven there's hell there but they're going to use different words for it, like, uh, they're going to say, it's an alternate universe. That is right next to ours, and that's where gravity comes from. But that alternate universe is heaven, and this is earth. And I mean, but they won't ever use the word heaven or earth. They'll just say, oh, it's an alternate universe that does have sentient beings in it that have figured out a way for ever to appear

in this universe because there's some connection between the two. Mostly, I don't give a shit about us, but probably something we're doing is disrupting their universe. So they're like, and they can't destroy this universe without destroying theirs. So they have to work they can't destroy this universe without destroying theirs. So they have to work with us or something. I don't know. Oh, that was a

really creepy moment. Darling, I'm pleased to announce that I've gotten out of my winter slump. I am now back in the gym. I'm taking boxing classes. I'm addicted to exercising again. I have an addictive personality. It's a double edged sword because sometimes I get addicted to foot fetish porn and video games. But sometimes when I'm really lucky I get addicted to getting healthy. And let me tell you, when you're totaling around planet earth in a 48-year-old one

testicle body. You need help. You can't just go to the gym and start pumping iron like some young Arnold Schwarzenegger. No, you need vitamins. You got to get that body filled with goodness. And if you're like me, more than likely, you're not going to take vitamins. Why? They taste like shit. They're hard to swallow sometimes, easy to forget.

And often, you eat them and you don't eat food at exactly the right time, and the dark god of vitamins. For whatever reason, curses you, and the next thing you know, you got vitamin nausea, the worst kind of nausea ever, because all you wanted to do was give your body the nutrients it wanted but your body is like fuck you. You didn't eat with whatever this shit is.

Now we're gonna throw up all your vitamins and cold brew all over the uber, all over the airplane. You're gonna spray stinky vitamin puke everywhere and all the vitamin people are gonna look at you and roll their eyes because they know exactly the right time to take their 16,000 pills and they were good at swallowing them down like there's some kind of mutant lab rat that some dark vitamin doctor is forcing vitamins upon. But in the middle of this hellish, global vitamin puke pandemic, the geniuses at A, G, one fixed the problem. They fixed the problem.

Why take a bunch of different things when you could just mix one scoop of powder in water once a day? AG1 was designed with ease in mind so you can live healthier and better without having to complicate your routine. It's complex enough on this planet. We don't need to be like enough on this planet we don't need to be organizing our vitamins. Do you have time for that? Since I've been drinking AG1, I've noticed that I feel better. And there's a lot of good reasons for that. AG1 has 75 vitamins, minerals, probiotics and whole food sourced ingredients of high quality in every scoop

Gives you major benefits like gut mood support boosted energy and even healthier looking skin hair and Nails, let me reiterate. It's just a delicious scoop you plop it in whatever your particular liquid of choices Slurping down in your body It it seems at the atomic level. They didn't tell me to say that. I'm saying that. That's my theory. My atoms are singing. Probably there's other reasons that's making me feel good. And those reasons are probably what I just listed. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drink AG1.com for slash Duncan. That's drink AG1.com for slash Duncan. Check it out and my friends at

AG1. If you are listening to this, I'm out of AG1. I drink it also. I would be so grateful if you would send me some more of your life powder! The Spice! The Spice. Thank you, A.G.1. I love you guys. And they can't destroy this universe without destroying theirs so they have to work with us or something. I don't know. It was a really creepy moment. I don't know what it is. I mean, what do you think it is?

I know you have been following it as much as I have. Let me tell you, I never was an alien person until David Grush came out on News Nation. And really, dude, I never, because I studied philosophy in college. I have a bachelor's degree in philosophy. So the first 20 years of my life, I was rooted in logic and reason and science.

And then the more I lived, the more I was rooted in logic and reason and science. And the more I lived, the more I was like, oh, there's fucking zero reason or logic in the universe. This is nuts, especially the last few, 10 years, I would say of being an adult, where you're like, what? Like a pandemic and like a reality, guys. Observe, you mean like, I wish I had taken philosophy. You mean like it's

it from a philosophical perspective. Your view is everything's kind of absurd. Like kind of like confusing nihilism or something like no. I believe that people were rooted in reason and logic and that people were rational beings that made decisions based on good ideas. And then you're like, no, that's clearly not the case. That's not the case. And then I became more nihilistic and like everything's chaos and absurd and terrible.

And then now I'm like, well, no, wait a minute. If this alien stuff is legit and it's kind of crazy because it fucking is, that just blows everything apart. What is it? And now I fear it because I get all my information from TikTok. That's where I fucking think the truth actually is. That's where lies. They're putting it out there. People are putting out their real shit. Yeah, and I think talk. The world on the street is is that like this is going to be like

another military thing where it's like that movie Independence day. We're going to paint them as like the aliens are these awful people or we have to fight them and the world is going to come together. We're going to fight the elite, which is a set.

But if that's the story and I, you know, I don't buy that one. I don't like that one, but that seems to be where humanity tends to go. Yeah. Well, yeah, we're, yeah, we're definitely dumb in that way. Like, we, that's the ultimate resolution of a problem is like blow it up. That's yeah, and that's what's gonna like join the planet together attacking these things. Yeah, I've heard that theory. And I've heard the idea of like, no, what's happened, you know, the, the, the,

fossil fuel industry is the deep state basically. Like everything depends on fossil fuel industry is the deep state, basically. Like, everything depends on fossil fuel. And there's no way around that. So the people who are in control of oil control everything. Because if oil goes away, civilization collapses. And so in that group of people is more tight knit than we think. And these aliens or whatever it is, apparently represent the potential of an energy source that is infinitely better

than oil. And so to allow whatever that technology is out into the scientific community would be the end of oil and all the power associated with it, which is why they don't want it out there. That's the only reason. It's too disruptive to people running the show. Well, yeah, I know you're talking like they called the anti-gravity. like they called like the anti-gravity, what like, yeah. Technology, yeah. Yeah, I mean, then you've destroyed all these industries that we've been fighting for that shit, right?

East versus West and all that. Right. We know. Just oil, oil, it's just oil, man. I'd say, God, damn it, it'd be great to have a fucking oil well. Come in, did you have you seen there? Will we blood?

Just that, that, that, that, that, great to have a fucking oil well come in did you have you seen there when we blood just that that that blasted up in the sky you're fucking the earth is just you've been jerking off the earth it sprays this beautiful fucking blast of black Jesus you're gonna be rich no one could stop you oh you could just feel it like that's those people are in control. Isn't that what that movie was about? That movie was about oil slapping religion in the face. Like,

fuck your god. This is the real god mother fucker. For sure. You know, I did a lot of military gigs like USO, military gigs I for before I had kids. And I went all over, you know, I did Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, UAE, Somalia, all these different bases for the Americans. And they sit you down, they're very gracious when you arrive and they give you a tour of the base. And then they give you a point presentation on why we are here.

Why are we in Saudi Arabia? Why are we in Saudi Arabia? Why are we in Afghanistan? I remember being like these presentations don't really make sense. There's something this way. We're in Kyrgyzstan. Wait, why are we? And it's awfully, especially in the Middle East, we're all over Qatar, Bahrain, Dubai. Yeah, like what possible entrance of myawaiian the Middle East? Peace. You know, we gotta bring peace to the world. That's all, I mean, coincidentally, the places that need peace do happen to have a lot of oil.

Yeah. But that's just a coincidence. We, 100% just wanna bring democracy to the world. It's very cynical, but it's true. And you see why. I mean, it's like, okay, fine. Let's not go there. Okay, hippie.

Great. We won't go there. So, I guess we're at an oil now. Oh, and I guess we're going to our own natural reserves and destroy all of the environment getting to the oil. Is that what you want? Hippie. Is that what you fucking want? You got something else. Can you, you know where a patchouli mine is? Can we run our cars on patchouli motherfucker? You think I want to be here?

In guitar! You think I want to be here in Qatar? In Qatar. At least there. I want to be in Qatar. I want to be home. But yeah, it's an awful mess. It's an awful mess. And these things, whatever they are,

they represent some possibility of, like, liberation. Now, if you consider the positive idea that like, they might give us away out of the earth, like this dimension, that what if they, you know what I mean? Like they might offer a way out. Yeah, please.

They're just, you're just trapped. Look, they're like, this is what we do. Every once in a while, a kind of bubble forms underneath actual reality, it populates itself with sentient beings like you, inevitably a hierarchical structure forms with a bunch of assholes at the top who manipulate and confuse you into thinking you're mortal and that you depend on them. You don't, there's a billions of universes to choose from. You can bring your family, your friends. That could be one thing they would, like, because then no one would stay here. Like everyone would

just split. That would be great. It's like the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, right? This, like, yeah, that you can. You're, you know, we're, you know, a passport that takes you all over the galaxy. It is stupid to think that we're just meat bound here. And we wouldn't stay. Would you stay? I mean, if you knew safely, you could, you could, if you want it,

you could do trips at first. Yeah. Completely safe, wormhole teleportation. Bring the seguras to Alpha Centauri to bathe in the hot springs of Duna Gore or whatever. That would be amazing. I would love that. Would you do it?

Of course. Yeah, of course. Of course. Because this, I mean, it's like, we are marooned on a ball-shaped island that is being controlled by tech billionaires. Like, that's where we're at right now. And they depend on us to enjoy the status that they have and all the privilege they have, because if all of us had the same stuff they had, they would be irrelevant.

So they depend on that pyramid shape to be even remotely interesting. I mean, think of jet, like, would anyone ever say Mark Zuckerberg's name again, if we were all as rich as Mark Zuckerberg? Like if we all had that level of no one would think about him, no one give a shit. The only reason they're interesting is because they've accrued wealth. That's all they've got. I mean, personality wise, no offense Zuckerberg. I really love Instagram. I think that's your fault.

But, you know what I mean? I'm saying, then suddenly the playing field becomes one based on something other than wealth, you know, and then what? Like Elon Musk, Zuckerberg, Bezos, Gates, go down the list, go down the list, take away their wealth or make everyone equally wealthy. And then what? They have nothing. They're gone. I know.

They're very relevantized. It's so true. And it's even like celebrity. I think, I think I used to be way more dazzled by the idea of famous people. And then you need enough of them. And you're like, Oh, yeah, that's good. I'm alright. I don't need to be friends with anybody. The people like known for 20 years. I'm really so disappointing. It's so disappointing. Because you want the dream would be,

you meet the celebrity that you have seen on TV and that there is like a remarkable extra quality to them that isn't in all the other people you've met. But then you realize, oh my God, oh my God, they're just like everyone god. Oh my god. They're just like, everyone else. Oh my god. And even worse now, because of Instagram and TikTok, which God bless it, because it is my source of primary entertainment.

I don't even really watch it. I watch alone other than that. Like, there's not a ton of stuff I'm into, because I can get the real deal. I can get real mental illness. I can get real fucking Juice feeling emotion just yeah Right there, you know, I can watch a celebrity have a massive emotional breakdown on tech talk and it's so compelling But at the point being that yeah that because there aren't there are no barriers anymore to celebrity. So there's very little mystery. And you start to realize like, oh, these people are

bipolar. That's why there's such big personalities or this person's an alcohol. And that's why they're able to like, right, whatever turn it on here and there. And you're like, God, there's something good to that mystery. You're, you're, it's, you're going there more like I know you're getting entertainment from it, but you're kind of a minor in a way. You know what I mean? Like you go down into the TikTok mine. You found ways to burrow deep into the subterranean tunnels That the algorithm will normally never take a person to when you first encounter take talk like you've burrowed deep in there And then you share These incredible things that you find with all of us Making you my source for like oh, what's what nervous? What are the top nervous breakdowns Happening on the planet today. You're like a curator of nervous breakdowns. I know. Because there's many nervous

breakdowns happening at any given moment. You find the ones that are so entertaining, so unique, so fascinating. How long? How long does that,? Okay, let me ask you. How many of these do you find per hour? Would you say or is it per day? Like how many? Can I tell you something? It is a passion of mine. Thank you, first of all, for acknowledging my work. Thank you for sharing your work with us. And I don't even I can't quantify it, but if you would ask my staff because I email it to Nadav, I email these TikToks for the show. And it's just a flurry of all day. If I get on it, it's just like, it's so quick.

The algorithm is so great on TikTok. It's so precise. So I really have to be clean about how I scroll. How I like things. You don't want to like anything too normal. Oh, because you, if you spend too much time looking at something dull, just because you're not being attention, now you've taken steps back. Now the algorithm is like, oh, oh wait, she doesn't want people having insane PCP fueled breakdowns. She wants like videos of how to knit I guess. No, no, yeah, you got to be real cautious. Don't fall into those

traps or dances or anything like that. But what's really great about TikTok is that I used to have to go to the documentary world to see nut jobs. You know, like it was always about finding those weird documentary, you know, GGL and or just like weird punk thing. And now it's like, that's the stuff I love. I don't know why. I just love watching weirdos. It's so fun. A deep, reverent bow to today's sponsor, Squarespace.

My God, thank you for supporting the DTFH for so long. Not just that, for creating a home on the internet, or at least giving me the toolbox that I could use to create a home on the internet for the DTFH. If you are thinking about building a website, this is the ultimate tool. Squarespace has everything you need. If you just want to do like a prank website to troll one of your friends, they did not tell me to say that that's coming straight for me, then Squarespace is perfect for that because

all you got to do is use their mix and match templates and boom, you got a website and that's a very powerful way to freak out your dearest friends in a benevolent way. Obviously don't do anything weird or mean. But you know making a cool like tribute website or something to one of your friend's moms. Nothing weird but just like she's the best mom out there. It's pretty awesome. And also why not make a tribute for your mom yourself? Why are you waiting for one of your troll friends to prank you? You should be make a tribute for your mom yourself? Why are you waiting for one of your troll friends to prank you? You should be making tribute websites for your, the point is, it's easy.

You could just easily make a website, but you wanna create something complex, deep, subtle, yet powerful, like what you'll find at dungantrustle.com. Squarespace gives you those tools too. It's an evolving mega tool box. You can use Squarespace's technology to send incredibly beautiful emails to your clients, fans. You can use Squarespace's awesome technology to gather really good data. Who's coming to your website? Where are they coming from? Not only that, but Squarespace now has members only areas. So if you want to give extra

content, buying to paywall for your deepest, dearest fans, you can do that with Squarespace and they have incredible customer support. I've tried them out. It is fantastic. You are wanting to create a website. Squarespace is where you need to go. And right now you can try them out for free. Just go to squarespace.com, Fortslash Duncan, try them out.

And when you're ready to launch use OfferCode Duncan, and you'll get 10% off your first order of a website, Ori Domain. Again, it's Squarespace.com. 4th slash Duncan, he's Africa Duncan, 10% off your first order of a website, Ori Domain. Thank you, Squarespace. I don't know why I just love watching Weirdos. It's so fun. Well, so, you know, I think it's really healthy because you, you know, one of the things that I want to say, one of the things with Aaron that like, I like things she doesn't like,

she likes things I don't like, but one thing she likes is commercials. Oh, what? Yeah, she thinks they're, they're like, I think she like, but one thing she likes is commercials. Oh, what? Yeah, she thinks they're they're like they may I think she like finds them kind of comforting or something, you know, they bring you back to the old days when you had no choice but to watch commercials and I don't like commercials. They freaked me out. And that started the first time I took LSD and watch TV and saw commercial on acid and was like, what the fuck is this?

This is, I don't know why it's bad, but it's maybe the worst thing. I can't, now I can't, when I watch them, I get really anxious and I think it's because the corporations present a parody of reality. Like, the families and commercials, the friendships and commercials, the families and commercials, the friendships and commercials,

the parties and commercials, none of that's real. Like, no one is experiencing life like the people in a commercial, but by slanting reality, so it's like you're looking at like the most vapid, shallow, alternate reality. Like where people are just happy with their ditchips and they like, there's also that fixed their problem

for the day, if they needed a good KSO dip. And now, you know what I mean? Not only are they happy, but they're cool, they're beautiful, they're like sexy somehow. So it's so, it's so deceptive and fucked up. It freaks me out. But I think what's cool what you when you go into where you're going. It's like you're going out of the Truman show bubble of the reality and you're witnessing what's really going on out there, which is. That's what's really going on is this stuff. which is what's really going on. Is this stuff?

Yeah, it's like we finally got to like pull the curtain back because for years our entertainment has been dictated by these big networks who like you say they, they just sterilize existence and you and I, they made, we grew up watching these bullshit sitcoms. I, you know, my parents were foreigners so like growing up, I learned about American. I thought everybody actually lived like three's company or, you know, out of this world,

remember that one? She could stop time. But like, I thought that Americans really did talk that way to each other. So I was always, what are house? This is not what's happening. You know, there's a cultural thing, but also like my fucking crazy. So I don't know. It's more comforting for me to see weirdos because then I'm like, yeah, yeah, I get that because you're just one step away from being these folks. It's like, I've been those folks. I'm not one step away. I'm at nervous breakdown. Are you fucking kidding? I've lost the fucking track. I've gone way off the track. Way off the track. Oh, I know. And like, there's this one that you and I are interested in.

She's a mother of four and she's hyper, hyper vigilant, I would say. We're going to Disney World and here's our Jay. I'm going to wake up before I am. I'm going to exercise. And then by 5am right the park and I get that part, right? Because if you have kids, you do have to be extremely organized and like I can go there if I wanted to. Yeah, well, for those of you, this we were Aaron Guccina,

you discovered this, I don't know how to put like it's a TikTok mom, maybe you could just maybe just describe exactly what it is. So people can kind of get an idea in their head for what this is. Like it's clearly as you can describe it because I don't, I don't have the audio. I don't know how to even know if I had it, I couldn't play it. I'm not organized like you guys are.

So it's a woman. It's a mother of four. It's her account on tech talk and it's under the assumption or whatever. The premise that she's showing you how to mom hack, right? There's these tips and tricks. Super organized, super on top of your game and do

everything right as a mom. I think that's the underlying premise. So like here's how you homeschool for a mom of boy for boys and we're going to homes mom. I think that's the underlying premise. So like, here's how you homeschool for, I'm a mama boy, four boys and we're gonna homeschool. I wake up at 5 a.m., I do my exercise, I read for two minutes, and then I go make all the beds in the house, and then I wake up the children, and then we bring out our board,

and we write down a Bible verse for the day, and then I take out all my products, and then I, and it's, again again I think an attempt to like be helpful but I think it's so funny because there's so much anxiety. Yes. Under it. That you're like, I feel I feel like I want to die. Like it's so. It's aggressive. Yeah. It's aggressive. No, this is like in in in in Buddhism. There's this like Aggression is one of the root causes of suffering and So aggression if it leaks into anything you do it kind of irrelevantizes the merit of the thing that you're doing

So if you go out to do good work in the world, but it's an aggressive It's actually aggression disguised as good work. You're really punching, but you're making it seem like you're handing out soup or whatever It has the opposite effect like it doesn't really do anything for anybody. Oh my god. That's what I needed to hear today That's so crazy because I was sitting down trying to write jokes and if I'm'm in a space that's aggressive, what you're saying, it's not, it's not funny. It's going to be a pissed and sour. Yes. Yeah. I hate it when I might, I hate it when that's the shit that's coming out of me. It's like, Oh, fuck, I just need to stop because I'm too pissed off right now and everything's all. Yeah. Well, you tell me what to read.

I'd like to read more about that because I couldn't put my finger on it today. I'm like, this feels gross. I don't want to put this in the world. This isn't nice. This isn't who I am. I'll see if I can find it. It's like it's kind of a, this, it's, it's not obscure emboutism, but it's a, the, where I read it, the place I found it was in this weird book.

I picked up at a thrift store by Chogam Trumpa. It had all these mandalas, or like sort of visual depictions of, like, I guess you could say imbalance in harmony. Like, basically there's these, in Buddhism, these things called the paramedus, which are these like good qualities, generosity being one of them, or patience being one of them.

And then if you have a thing, then you have its opposite, you know, obviously the opposite of generosity, selfishness, but weirdly there's a similarity in the two because selfishness is really just trying to be generous to yourself and not other people So if you can shift that to other people instead of yourself then you will have achieved this like pair of paramedics Whatever your experiencing is the path to something more enlightened. That's the idea. It's really cool, but yeah, so It was I'm trying to specifically remember this one was about

Generos aggressive generosity so He described it. It's as though someone had a giant barrel of honey and Pushed it over on top of you. That's what it feels like. So this is when you're with someone who has got all the stuff and they are giving you stuff and taking you places and oh, they're just, it's a mate, but there's a sense of like, oh, this doesn't feel quite right because it's not actual generosity. It's aggressive generosity. It has this anger underneath it or a kind of like something, there's a twist going on here that in your complicit because you're letting them dump the honey on top of you. So you're in this gross perverse larp where you're pretending to be not

like in it for some of the stuff and it both sides feel shame and yeah, aggressive, aggressive, aggressive, whatever the paramedic maybe aggressive patience, aggressive, wherever aggression gets in it's yes, yes, and I find that I get there when I'm like like I've just been I've been I haven't had enough time for myself. That's all it is. You know, especially you understand, you know, when you're in a constant state of, it's just too much.

I get, I get crunchy. I get crispy. Okay. I guess. Sputus lecture. Part two. Aversion. That's, that's what we call aversion.

So like aversion is where you don't want to be where you're at. And it sucks. It's a form of suffering. It sucks. So this is when you're like wherever, and you're just like, you know, you're dreaming of like finally, whatever it is, putting the kids down or getting out of that meeting

or getting out of traffic, that's a version. And it's my, if I had to pick, I think I would choose aggression over a version, because at least when you're aggressive, you're like, ah, you're pushing back, you're fighting against it. With a version, you're like shrinking away. You don't want to be there. You want to disassociate. Yeah, it's the worst. Yeah. So how do I get out of this? Aversion? Yeah. In Buddhism they say like, um, Cratum. What? Yeah. The recommendation in Buddhism is like, cratum as long as you can.

Like the idea in boot, basically, bootism says during the day, try to get hammered in some way shape or form. And are they being serious? I think serious about it. No. It's quite this. I'm sorry, my many bootest friends out there

for blasphemy I was like yeah That was it's like medication not meditation. It's a it's actually missing It's a miss it's spelled it's a misspelling of medication. Yeah. No, the idea would be, so, so when you're feeling a version, anger, whatever the flavor of suffering is, you, you have a delusion. The delusion is if I get from point A to point B, when I get to point B, I'll feel better than I do now. And so for me, that might be, okay, two more hours of childcare,

because I'm thinking about myself, two more hours of childcare, two more hours, three more hours, two more hours of childcare, get the kids in bed. And right now, Kazan is taking care of the baby, you know, make sure she's got food and everything. And then somewhere after that, I will play Diablo for this very addictive, narcotic, technological shit drug. I heard you talking about this on your last episodes or two back or something. I mean, the way you described it, it sounds like the greatest thing on

the planet. It's just hair. It's digital hair. So that's so then I'll get to that point. And the dream I have is what when I'm playing that now I'll feel better. Or the way the way Trump arranges he talks about it is it's like, the idea is you get home after work and you sit down on the couch and you go, and that is a tiny, infinitesimally small peak at what enlightenment is, except that, whoo, happens all day long. You don't need to be a point A point B point C.

Every day, every moment is that, ah, because you're no longer fighting against the universe and running away from that feeling. So that's the, I'm sorry, I'm going on to like. Uh, like Lexapro. Like Pro, it's the same thing. That's Lexapro, actually. Lexapro is one of the names of one of the great Buddhist

scriptures, the Suta of lexapro. No, you, you, the idea is you, if you can, it's, you know what it is when Aaron was giving birth, howling like a band, she. This we had this wonderful midwife and she said, I know this seems like the opposite of logic, but when it gets as painful as it could possibly be, go towards that, push into that, breathe into that. That is how the baby will come. And that is, I'm like, fuck, that's poop, that's it. She just gave like a Dharma talk. When you're feeling the aversion, don't flee from it, don't run for it, or peel away the story about it and just experience the feeling of dissatisfaction purely with no story and sit with it with no intent of anything other than fully experiencing it as it

is minus the story, minus why you think you don't want to be there, why you think it'll be better somewhere else, fully in that experience. And if you can get to that place, suddenly it just, it stops. It stops. It's no longer, it's just riding away. If it's another aspect of your day. And then suddenly, you're fine where you're at. And you're just where you're at.

It's anyway, that's sort of a shitty rendition of it. It's like training yourself to not flee from those difficult emotional states and fully being them and then see if you can be in them with a non-judgmental awareness. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what we do in therapy, right? You just kind of hate it. And then you, yeah, and that's true. It does dissipate. That's so crazy. So I shouldn't get day drunk or E. Pop's hurts.

E. That's where it gets really cool. It's like in some forms of Buddhism, tantric Buddhism, it's like, no, eat the ideas. Like, what, do whatever you're doing, try to do it without the story. Try it because you know what I mean? So just your, because the idea really is,

yes, you are doing these things. Yes, you are feeling horrible. Yes, there is suffering, but what is the suffering happening inside of? What is, where is all of this taking place? What is it, what gives it form? And the thing that gives it form is this non-judgmental awareness.

This state of emptiness is what they call it, emboutism, it has to exist in something. And right now you are associating yourself with the stuff, but you start retraining yourself to actually begin to associate yourself with the field of awareness that it's happening within. And instead of the stuff, it doesn't negate the stuff, it doesn't, it's not nihilism, it doesn't eradicate the authenticity of your experience, but it allows you

a little like respite from it in the sense that you also are the thing that it's happening within. You're not just the thing itself. And that's cool. Yeah, you're not like, you're not the feeling. You're just the experienceer of the feeling. You're not composed of the fact. Yeah, exactly. You're not your thoughts. You're not your body. You're not, but you are in the sense that, yes, there is this stuff around you. Yes, there is relative reality. Yes, there is a you and your kids and your life and your career and all that stuff is like wonderful and incredibly rare to even be a human. But that shit is like being in a cave

and if you don't also re-acquaint yourself with the fact that there's this other layer of reality that it's happening inside of. And that layer of reality is so like a such a relief to make any kind of contact with. I mean, did you take a lot of acid, Chrissy? Yeah, yeah. And in my formative years, I did.

I started at like 14 and then I stopped by 21. Did you ever take enough to cease to exist? Like, did you ever take enough to emerge into the whole universe where you just stopped existing? You were just gone for a second or there was no more you. Yeah, for sure. Most definitely. Okay, that's it. That's what they're taught. That's that's I think what I liked about LSD was not so much the melting walls and all the stuff, but it was the the moment that moment where you actually are not identifying with your identity as a human or and you're just empty space. You're just you've merged. unit of consciousness. That is what I think they're pointing at, a Buddhism is that,

that is what you actually are. That is going to last longer than you, that is going to, that's your birthright, that's what you are. If that wasn't there, then you would be in a hopeless, horrific condition. Yeah.

Now, and this goes back to the aliens because this, what? The aliens are talking about with the consciousness thing. Like, aren't we all taking a part, we're all taking part of a collective? Yeah. This, right? Yeah, shared mind. It's a shared mind with all these little meat bubble things inside the shared mind that because they have a circumference

of whatever their body is, they've gotten confused and they think that they are little puddles instead of an ocean or something like that. They don't realize, no, we're all floating in the ocean of consciousness. And we all are like imagining that my consciousness is separate from yours when it's not. Yeah. I mean, but don't, and this might be the stupidest thing I've ever said in the world, but don't

you think about like how did these Buddhist motherfuckers come up with this? How many, how many years ago? How many, what is this? Pre-Christian society, these guys came up with all this stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's fucking amazing. This is all this stuff is psychology. Let me look that up. The exact age of Buddhism.

Remixed. I mean, Freud and everybody, this is the same stuff over and over. But how did these guys, is this because of the, not them Buddhism? Well, the Buddhists don still have any problem with aliens. They, they've always sort of accepted the universe is kind of teaming with life. How long ago did Buddha live? Let's see how long?

Yeah. Let's see. I don't know all this stuff. For five sixty three to four eighty three BC. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it also works.

It's really cool as the idea is that there's this sort of, like in Buddhism, you could, there's a kind of acceptance of the multiverse, like there's this, one of the scriptures is called the Lotus Sutra. And as like the Buddha is delivering this sermon on Vulture Peak, I believe he like unfolds his tongue. You know, all this stuff is symbolic, but. I know. Something it's the most psychedelic scripture, but suddenly everyone listening to him can see him in various forms that are not human and

all these different forms through all these parallel timelines, giving the sermon to all those timelines in these different forms and different languages and different ways. So it's like there's an acceptance of the multiverse that we're just one part. And the idea is if you are living in a timeline where there was a Buddha, because there's many, many Buddhas, there's not just one. If you're living in a timeline where there's a Buddha, incredible good fortune,

incredible, because there's some timelines where it hasn't come yet. I know. Hi. Hi, speaking of Buddha. Hey. You just came in. How you doing? Thank you. Just my friend Duncan, you know what I'm saying? app. Hey. You just came. How you doing?

I do. Just my friend Duncan. You know, hello. Hi on camera. Say hi. How's your day going? Just. When do you go back to school?

When are you excited? Why don't you? Yeah, my kids are excited too. They're ready to get back. They're tired of hanging out all day with stinky old daddy. What do you think? I'm not ready. I'm so excited. Yeah, it's fun. Summer's fun at last forever. No, buddy. All right, we got to finish up. I'm gonna wrap up. I'm sorry for taking up too much of your mom's time.

Typically podcast should last an hour and this one's going over a little bit. Well, because we're so we're so good together. Just need to look like Tom. Yeah, I was just thinking that he's a perfect mix of you too. You got the coolest parents. You're so good together. Doesn't he look like Tom? Yeah, I was just thinking that he's a perfect Mixer you too. You got the coolest parents. You're so lucky. Oh That's so sweet. I don't know if they feel that way, but You're okay. He's done. Yeah. That's done. Yeah. I've done good. I've known a long time. Look at his cool beard. Does he have a great beard? I got to get a trend look Look at the grays. Uh, and it's stinky. It's got gravy in it and all

kinds of it's a mess. He's got three cats. Yeah, but we just had a baby. Yeah, and just had a baby. Like how we could go to a week? A week, a little over a week. She's a little over a week old little girl.

You guys are really in it. All right. Graham. I see you. We're almost done. Yeah. All right. Well, this video comes to you.

So there's so much stuff going on in the house. We, um, Pope baby girl. I'll see you after this. Yeah. We're painting our wallpapering and you know, I hate white walls so depressing. So we were covering all the walls.

You know, I have sex like mom. No, knowing you'll be we're recording this maybe later. Don't come over and you can show. I want to see go. Yeah. Okay, get going. Okay, that's the best kick Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's the best kick rock.

That kick rocks. That's we get that. You know what I mean? Like it's with all the, you know, stuff like no matter what, there's nothing better than that on planet Earth. Yeah, whatever the thing is a boot of the aliens. No, whatever it is.

You would not give that up for any of it. No, never, never in a good Gillion years. The kids are the greatest joy in my life. And it's your kid. I just like and talk about. Yeah, you can stay. I was about to wrap it up anyway. Perfect timing.

Do you have a signal when someone's ear beating you at Buddhism for him to come in? Do you have a bell that rings in the other room? Bing, Bing. Oh, OK, go a second. Let's talk. I do what I talk to you about one time before we go. Go.

Oh, you mean it now. You know you're getting in trouble. You better do. She's going to risk you. Oh, you mean it now. You're getting in trouble. You better do. She's going to miss you. She's going to miss you. I was going to miss you. Files. Oh, turkey legs.

Turkey legs. Get it up. Locks, folks. Scrap. Hey, hey, hey. You know, it's so funny. No! No!

Do you want me to cut that out? Just don't show his face. No, I'm. You're fine with the audio. Okay. You should. It's funny because I I I listened to your interview day with Tom, which was so great. And I never listened to my husband on my

pass, but I just was like, oh, I'm catching up on on your stuff. And I was like, oh, listen to Duncan and Tom, you're so funny I laughed because the dog felt that was behind him You shouldn't have that still I still think about that like do I report it? terrible But it's crazy because we both Anyway, having kids changed me in a different way I think having kids for men can ramp up their career stuff

where they're out of fucking conquer your world because you're now the pressure to be a provider and I can't even imagine providing for two little kids a while, it's a lot, dude. But then the opposite happened to me. Well, I was like, I just wanna stay home. I think I don't want to go outside. Right.

I just want to look a little face. I just want to nurture my children. It's kind of crazy. It's a different thing. Well, it's the, I mean, it's like, you know, those, I can't think of the last time, sadly, I was like sitting in front of a campfire. But like, you know, you're sitting for the campfire.

And suddenly, that's just all that matters. There's heat and it's that you're tuning into this thing that humans have been sitting around, longer than we've been sitting around TV. And you're just fine all of a sudden. Like you're like, this is more, this is real. All the other stuff, I don't know, but this is real. And I feel that way with the kids.

It's like whatever this stuff is happening in the world, it becomes secondary to this very simple, sometimes infuriatingly simple predicament we find ourselves in, which is that we are completely like lost in love. Like we're just, that's it. You're whatever the other stuff is, that's this is the primary fundamental anchor of your life.

And that is such a great realignment. I think that it's sad that people are so down on it these days. You know, and I get why they are. It's expensive as fuck. I get it. It's almost impossible. Oh, yeah. I thought I'm gonna start. I like starting to No, I mean, no, I, I'm sorry. Did I sound like I was not my kids? Yeah, no, I know what you're talking about. The pleasure of starting a fresh fire. Of course. It's good. But like, because, but my God, that feeling feeling and I knew you were into it

I know times into it because he's talked to me about it but that feeling When when you when that when it just first catches and you're watching that go up the gasoline trail Oh my god and the panic of like will I get caught this? Yeah, that's a national forest, but still it's fun. Yeah. But yeah, I, uh, you do for you.

It's kind of, yeah, I do. I think it's fun. It's the risk. It's risk. No, I mean, it's risky. I'm not, I just prefer structures. Just watching a structure, you know, turn into smoke. Hmm. I ain't talking about like, did you start to get

fired? Was that you then? You can look up the case. You can look up the case and I was acquitted completely. So that's going to be my answer. Is that was that was crazy because it spread to Bel Air and I was was like there's no way they're going to let bell air roast and they did. They really did. Honestly, I it's like I wish I could take credit for that one, but I don't know who did that. I have some I have a feeling that somebody

talking to maybe dead and just like setting fours fires, but you know, that's neither here nor there. Ha ha ha ha ha! You know I didn't start the guinea fire. Come on. Come on. You weren't even having fun with anybody. We all know.

Yeah. Come on. Take credit where credits do. You're so humble. That was such a great fire so artistic like I got all the Commentary in it. I'm so cool to start it at the getty Yeah, it's brilliant and you will the winds you do where they were blowing We know I know you're I mean my god. I've looked up to you as a fire starter for you

You know, I learned a lot of what I do from you and Tom honestly. But it is true that boys like to start fires. I feel like every guy that I've talked to on my podcast, they have started fires and their youth. I think you have, didn't you say? I've set a field on fire accidentally. Yeah, you, you, you, it's not like we like starting fires. It's that we, we like explosions.

Like and we like the power and they're like, we got, we like explosions. Like, and we like the power. And they're like, my God, when you first figure out, you can take a magnifying glass and set shit on fire with a magnifying glass. How do you not start a fire? You're gonna sleeves or whatever. But I don't wanna hold you up from your kids. And honestly, I will cut out the fire part.

If you, I don't know where you're at legally with that. Right. No, it's fine. It's long. It's been seven years. Something is not one of the. Yes. It's good.

Don't want to look that up. You don't want to look up to make sure the limitations. They have no extradition. None in California is the only state that can't extra night also the new laws in California It's it's now completely legal to start fires I got a certain amount of damage before they can know you have to cause like over five million dollars with a fire damage They can't fuck with you That's right. That's a lot. They were so smart over there

Hey, I don't want to hold you up. Yeah That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. hang out. You will. Once you're out, you guys are out of your, you're in triads. This is the we will. This is the great time. You are the best. God bless you. Thank you so much. You got any shows coming up? Anything that you need to plug? Oh, Christina P online.com for for shows. I'm doing a Vegas, which will be cool in October. for shows. I'm doing on Vegas, which will be cool in October, Denver, comedy books. I'm excited about that. And Canada, go back to Canada. I haven't been back since. Okay, all the links for these shows will be Dr. Trust will calm or I'll direct you right to Christina's website. Thank you so much, mommy. Love you.

How did Krishna? That was Christina Segura. Everybody, God bless her. Definitely check out her podcast. Where are my moms at? Or the wildly popular your mom's house with the genius Tom Segura. Come see me at any of the shows I mentioned.

Zany's in Rosemar, coma Washington at the Tacoma comedy club Cobb San Francisco Helee um fill a Delphiah Spokane comedy club Spokane Washington Wise guys Salt Lake City comedy zone Charlotte funny bone Columbus and subscribe to my patreon Won't you patreon.com for its last DTFH? But if you don't feel like doing any of that shit I Get you I understand I still that shit, I get you, I understand. I still love you.

I get it. I don't wanna do anything either. Just wanna play Diablo. That's all I wanna do. Play Diablo, get covered in some kind of neural gel that makes me come for seven hours straight, which is a generally how long I play per session. That would be paradise. Maybe we'll get there one day. I will see you next week. Until then,

Hade Krishna.