Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 586: Ian Fidance

Episode Date: October 15, 2023

Ian Fidance, incredibly funny comedian and all around great person, re-joins the DTFH! Check out Ian's podcast, Bein' Ian With Jordan, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/duncan and get on your way to being your best self. Prize Picks - Sign up at PrizePicks.com/Trussell and Prize Picks will match your first deposit up to $100!

Greetings to you friends. It's me Duncan. This is the Ducatruscle family hour podcast and I am reporting to you from the brand new simulated perfect Earth. It's wonderful over here. I upward my consciousness my body was liquefied Turned into this amazing gelatinous Plenty which was then injected into a person in need. For those of you still flopping around out there with your silly little bodies and your dumb appendages and your complete inability to instantaneously transform into a fire-breathing rooster with a giant cock which I do every morning when I wake up in my polatial as state

in New Italy, I feel bad for you. I know a lot of you are attached to your bodies. A lot of you feel like if you lose your body, you don't exist anymore. It's all bullshit. That's just what the meat fascists want you to believe. I'm sorry you fell for it. And I'm sorry that you have yet to experience what it's like to split yourself into 50,000 different people and have a 50,000 person orgy and it's all you. It's Okay, it's okay. It's a little better than Starbucks. I'm just gonna leave it there. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be a missionary. I'm not gonna try to recruit you to come over to this perfect paradise where there is no war, where there is no fighting, where the news is only good and even better,

the news is just about you. And because you're living in a perfect digital paradise, the news is always good. There's nothing that makes me happier than hearing. Digital Sean Hannity talk about how incredible I am, not just as a person, but as a father. And I know it's controversial because my family didn't want to come over here, but I can parent just as well through my android, which I can control from this side of things. The Android is capable of changing diapers, doing bedtime as long as I don't get it wet. It's wonderful. It does shock the kids.

We've got a wonderful podcast with you. Today on the DTFH is one of my favorite meat body friends in Phi dance. He is a incredibly funny comedian and an all around great person. And we had a wonderful conversation about how to handle all the insane stuff going on over there in meat land, which is what we call the land that you meet people still live in. I will be extantiating my body into the meet space universe for some shows that

are coming up. And I would love for you to come see me. I'm going to be in Spokane on the second of November to the 4th of November after that sought like city Utah wise guys and then the Charlotte NC Comedy Zone. And lots more shows coming up for next year. I hope you will come see me.

Also subscribe to the Patreon. It's patreon.com for its last DTFH. You're going to get commercial free episodes of this podcast for my Patreon family. I'm sorry that I have gone off radar for a little bit with these shows and the new baby. It's been really hard keeping the schedule going but starting next week, we're going to be back with our weekly gathering and meditation. I hope you will join us.

It's patreon.com, forward slash DTFH. And now everybody, welcome to the Duket Russell Family Hour podcast, A Brilliant I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you, Welcome to the DTFH. It is so absolutely wonderful on the road to get to spend some time with you. Yes, it is. I'm in Minneapolis, you're in Philadelphia and with the power of Al Gore's internet, we are able to connect. Well, let's hope this shit works, man, because yours already says 0% uploaded. So this might just end up being a conversation. Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah, Yeah, this is this is hotel. This is hotel

internet. But I'm at it's 99% uploaded. Mine says now. You're at the four seasons. I'm at a courtyard Marriott and I paid for four seasons internet just so we could connect. So these motherfuckers better make it work. I never stayed out there like this. I feel like I have to say that it's just I have someone who works at the four seasons and hooked me up. So that's what you hooked me up. You hooked me up with a massage from the four seasons when I was in Austin and I had an injured back. Dude, it is, this is the greatest hotel. It is insane. And I, like, I don't feel right. I'm so used to saying it, like, not horrible hotels, but, you know,

like normal hotels. Well, I love, I love a, like a dingy hotel for some reason. It reminds me of my childhood. To the point of you get a hook up, there's nothing I love more in life than a hook up or a pal or like all my little shops in my neighborhood. I've become like friendly with. So they hook it up when I'm there, or I'll bring them coffee. Like I love a quid pro quo, you know?

I know, I know you, I mean, I don't feel, it's too nice. Like I might find a whole body and consciousness is like deeply confused by what's happening here. Cause like usually it's usually this is the case. They got a fucking infinity pool. They got a sauna. I was in the sauna yesterday, like just sweating like a fucking pig.

And you know, it would be a lumenani. And you, and you, and you, you know, you, you, it's amazing, dude. And you pass people here, or this is just normal. This is their courtyard, Mariah. You pass them and they don't, you get the sense, they're not like, awgling the flowers. You know, they're like, God,

do you have flowers in the flowers? I never wanna, I never wanna live a life where I'm not awgling the flowers. And I'll tell you this, you know, you have a sauna at the four seasons. I'm at the courtyard, Mariette. If I want a sauna, I just ride the elevator because that thing is overheating and hot. And when I'm in it, I'm sweating. So I've just been in the elevator all day. 11, 1, 7, 2, yeah. Just sitting there with a towel.

Oh, yeah. Just sitting there with a towel. No one will even look because it's a courtyard of Mary. Yeah. Cock out, towel on. Is it just... Cock out, towel on. Do you have a swimming pool at that particular Mary?

We do, yes. And a gym, 24 hours. Thank you very much You got to dude. I've been doing the thing so I joined a gym in Brooklyn and it's been the best thing I've ever done Sorry, I just said to sneeze I covered the lake and I hope you did not hear it So I joined a gym Man, I heard it that's we're gonna lose sponsor fuck. I'm sorry better help. It's okay I

Join the gym in Brooklyn Brooklyn training hall. I fucking love it I go three days a week to these classes and I become friends with like the gym class people to these classes and I become friends with like the gym class people but when I'm on the road I miss my gym class so much I can't bear to go into a gym for a workout on my own so I just do pushups in my hotel room. You know I hear you man I mean there is something that is weirdly lonely about a hotel gym and creepy too. Like, I don't like it when I'm in there because usually you're in there by yourself if you go down there.

But for me, that's been my experience, but then inevitably someone will walk in and you're just in this echoey little room with weights, with a stranger, with weights and... No music, it's just you working out room with weights with a stranger. Yeah, and there's weights and no music. It's just you working out and then a man in jeans comes in to get a quick workout in, to get away from his family. And it's just me and the jeans man working out.

And it's just weird because then I can't grow up the way I want to grow. You know, I have to turn my music off. Yeah, and then I And then the eye contact happens and then you're like, man, those are vivid blue eyes, you know, and then the next thing you know you're getting banged down and You know what I mean and then it's just like You're just which messes up my show. Yeah, well, you know, I've been there

with a jeans band. The jeans band makes eye contact. You give them a soft toss of do you need a spotter? And then next thing, you know, you miss both your shows on a Saturday and you wind up living in Minneapolis for three weeks. It's happened to me. You're moving to Iowa.

I hate it. I hate it, man. Damn hotel. Jim's eyes. Damn hotel. Jim's eyes. Are you feeling like, are you like, if you've been watching the news at all?

I'm trying not to, although in the hotel room last night, I did watch CNN for a minute, but yeah, it's not good. Did you, like, so today for folks listening, this is Friday the 13th, A.K.A. I think, what is it, the day of jihad? Is it the day of the, it's the day of the hard? Yes. So did you, did any of it get into you? Did you, do you feel a sense of paranoia about today? No, I'm not really paranoid. I'm not. Are you?

Yeah, I mean, I, I'm like paranoid in the sense of like, I don't not explain it other than there's some kind of odd pleasure in the paranoia, just a sort of like, maybe it's nihilism or something where, you know, you're just like, I don't know, maybe everything will burst into flames, but I don't know. I don't think there's any, I saw some rabbi talking about how like, you know, the best thing you can do is not get scared, not let them get in your fucking head, you know, like don't let it get in your head. And I think that's the move.

I mean, I just shouldn't be watching the news. I can't, I don't want to do, I just, I don't know why I do that to myself. Well, I mean, you know, the sad fact is conflict in the world has been going on for time and memorial. And, you know, we are not psychically supposed to, you know, be aware of all the suffering that's going on. I think it's a testament to how good we all are as humans is that everybody is up in arms and everybody's,

you know, talking and, you know, you're not caring enough and you're not doing this. And we need to fight because who's on the right side of history? But it's like, we shouldn't be aware of any of this. Like right now, you and I shouldn't even be looking at each other's faces in different parts of the country talking right now. Like, right, you know, we should all be blissfully unaware. And at the same time, grateful that we're not involved

in these situation scenarios, but because of technology, you can't help but just be inundated with all this information nonstop. And it's not good for anyone to be completely just smashed in the head with all this information non-stop, you know, like conflict exists. And that's a shame. And it's not that I don't have empathy, but it's like, you know, I'm sore.

I'm incredibly fortunate that I can have a nihilist point of view on it in a way of like man, well, you know, and if anything, it just gives me gratitude and I try to put that gratitude throughout the world by it just gives me gratitude. And I try to put that gratitude throughout the world by treating people around me better. But it's like, I don't really have the bandwidth to make this my entire personality until the next tragedy occurs, you know? Yeah, man, you know, the paradox in it is like,

the one thing regardless of like your views on what's right and what's wrong here one thing everyone has in common is they're upset by war yeah like that that that fun that's like across the board everybody is upset because of violence like that's the sad thing it's like it seems like what everyone agrees on like violence being horrible. You know, I'll tell you though, like outside of the obvious, like horror of it all, what's truly horrific. This happened to me the other night. I'm watching like a live stream on YouTube of the Gaza Strip, which is another, like, you're not supposed to be able to like in your bed. Yeah, watch a city get bombed. So I'm first whatever dark reason I'm watching that. And then like, there's commercials. So it's like jolly music and like come to Target.

It's insane. It's insane. It's like they've monetized the war. It's crazy. And that dude, that happened to me watching the R Kelly documentary, just the most unspeakable prison of this, of a situation of like,

R. Kelly, then trapped her in the basement in hitter and peed on her and raped her. And then it would go to commercial and be like, Ashley Furniture, and I'm like, this isn't good. Not of this is good. No, that's that to me, you know, there's this like, if you ever heard the term cosmic giggle. No.

It's like a kind of like hippie term for like, you know, every once in a while, the universe winks at you a little like positive synchronicity happens. Something really like silly, but it's a miracle. This is like the opposite of the cosmic giggle. You know what I mean? It's like, everything must have a counterbalance.

The counterbalance to the cosmic giggle when, yeah, a no-zimpy commercial comes on when a city's getting bombed. That is so like, just, I don't know the right word for it. It's chilling, you know, it's, and I think that if you weren't allowed to do commercials on the news, you weren't allowed to do commercials if it's war related. If the segment was war related, you cannot advertise on that segment.

You have to ask yourself, would all wars just stop? You know what I mean? Because that without like the media fanning the flames, dividing, tribalizing, would suddenly like, it would just stop. Like because they wouldn't report on the wars anymore. And without reporting on the wars, you can't do propaganda to create the momentum necessary to like do more war right like is it because they're like I said war would still exist and conflict would still exist but I think it would slow down you know and I think like certainly if there was no outlet as a mouthpiece for you know someone calling for a global G-Hod day or even someone exploiting some perceived slight racially or something that gets people up in arms or a broadcast of like, look

at these people are protesting here, so counter-protester shop. Those things I think would happen, but at a snail space. And I think people would be a lot better off without the information, but it is funny to imagine that like without commercials or technology, people are fighting and they're like, you know, war, what is it good for? I think we just got to chill. Absolutely, not that.

You know, like, like, like, like, and that is a great point, man. Like, you know, when, like, I don't think Wolf Blitzer realizes that he has become a mouthpiece for Hamas when he's like, tomorrow is the day of job. Yeah. No one would have known that.

Like, I wouldn't have known. No one would have known that yeah, like I wouldn't have known no one would have known that Nobody would have heard that and been like fuck yeah, yeah, I felt it in the air Maybe I'm gonna job tomorrow because it's not getting signal boosted. Yeah, that's the thing. They're they're signal boosting They're they're on one hand depending on what most like all mainstream media The bit like depending on like whatever the particular politics of the network is, they're against terrorism. Like you can't be in on the news and pro-terrorism, but terrorism doesn't work without the signal boosting. Like so much of terrorism is the threat, you know,

versus the thing itself, like the thing itself is terrifying, but it's the looming shadowy, it's the day of God tomorrow. Right? So yeah, they should, why are you doing that? Don't just don't mention it. Well, you know, there's a documentary and I believe it's called Spin. And it's about the 24 hour satellite news cycle when it started happening in the early 90s when CNN moved from just a news channel to 24 hour news. And it picked up.

So I believe and I could be miss, you know, grossly misinformed here, but from my memory, I believe the documentary talks about how news satellite 24 hour TV, it's just a constant live feed and they have a switch. It goes, okay, air, but the feed is live and it's being recorded. And so they have recordings of newscasters Prior to going live on air going what the fuck are we doing? There's nothing to report It's 8 a.m Nothing has happened in the past 24 hours, but we got to sell ads

We got to bring people fear let's sell fucking fear and then it goes we're live and he's like welcome back to CNN blah blah blah and it and it literally shows politicians pre-planning interviews and they're talking to Bill Clinton and they're like well what if we bring up this bill and he goes no I don't want to talk about that don't don't bring that up to me let's talk about this and it's and and there's an abortion rally. And you know, some Republicans are like, we can't show how many people are supporting bro choice right now. So don't show the feet of the rally.

Go to a couple people outside. So it makes it look like there's no one there. Like they're right. It shows behind the scenes manipulating what we see, what we what they choose for us to see and take in his information. Just like, you know, what bullets are could choose to not be the mouthpiece to signal boost these things. It's, it's all a choice by people. I mean, I'm not the first person to say this, but everything is disseminated to us for a reason. And it's to keep us fucking

angry, keep us upset. We're in a fucking fishbowl aquarium fighting with each other while a bunch of dudes in fucking suits that piss money are just like, yeah, keep them angry. So we can fucking make more money on Raytheon. Keep them angry. Keep them angry with, it's true man.

And like also, couldn't, Keep a man, Greg. Yeah. Keep a man, Greg. It's true, man. And like, also, couldn't you, like, if you wanted to, you could do fake announcements from a mosque to fuck with it, right? Like, you know what I mean? Like, if like all of a sudden, the news just agreed, like a mosque just announced that they're down in the tunnels and they are fileting donkeys. We don't know why they made the announcement, but that seems to be what's happening. You know, why why why why are we if we're are warping and distorting information,

let's distort information in a way that makes like an embarrassment. I'm gonna go the other way. I'm gonna go the other way. I'm a nihilistic optimist. I'm my positivity and my optimism wears combat boots. I want everyone to fucking be grateful and to fucking tell people they love them and if you don't I'm gonna grip you up till you do motherfucker. So I want to Dissevenate that Hamas is going around Declarating today is National Balloon Day. Go blow up a balloon and give a nice balloon to someone you love That's it. I'm that's it. I would say in the news. Can you believe it? And then and then today is national hug someone who believes something different than you day.

We're having a national give each other hugs because you don't like each other day. And then that'll bring the world together. Yeah, I mean, I theoretically, I mean, it would be so like, this is one thing to look forward to when quantum computing takes off and we have the processor speed to do perfect simulations of reality. These are tests you can run. Like, let's see what the world looks like after a month of the news distorting information towards the positive instead of a negative.

What does our world look like after a month where every news story involves some terrifying monster in the world like having a come to Jesus moment and sending apology letters and videos of them like weeping and like the Ukrainians saying they forgive the Russians, they, they, they, what would the world look, what would happen? I think it would be like paradise. I think, you know, the, the, the thing, the, the puppet master that behind all of it is monetized fear. You, you shouldn't make money off of fear, the fact that we can make money off of fear, and it's so easy to scare people, that's got to be what's causing the problems. I don't think it's human nature. This episode of the DTFH is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you have ever found yourself in a Doom, Scroll, Hell spiral, otherwise known as a DSHS,

where you are staying up till, I don't know, 4am, watching the most rancid, horrible, terrifying stuff you can find online, waking up exhausted and paranoid, but you just couldn't stop. exhausted and paranoid, but you just couldn't stop. It was like your mind had taken over some dark part of your mind, had grabbed the steering wheel of your will and was driving the bus of your consciousness through hell. Like you know, you shouldn't be doing this. But you keep doing it. Therapy helps you figure out what's holding you back so you can work for yourself instead of against yourself. Reclaim the steering wheel. Drive that bus out of hell into a normal, happy, healthy land where you aren't for some

insane reason. Watching forensic files at 2am. I've benefited from therapy friends. It changed my life. There's nothing that I have done other than meditation and psychedelics, sorry, better help. That's my own personal experience. Don't recommend it for anyone but me. It has had more of a positive impact on my consciousness. Why not take advantage of meditation, Eastern traditions, all of your shamanic

experimentations, and peak Western psychological technology. You'll be so happy you did. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists anytime and no additional charge. Make your brain your friend with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash Duncan today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P.com slash Duncan. Thank you, better help. You shouldn't make money off of fear, the fact that we can make money off of fear, and it's so easy to scare people,

that's gotta be what's causing the problems. I don't think it's human nature. No, I mean, I have a child like Wonderman of the world that people are a lot better than we give them credit for. And, you know, I mean, there is clearly evil and there are broken people and broken things, but I think people are like, like I look at like, you know, cancel culture or, you know,

even what's going on now where people are like severing ties with relationships they've had their entire life over if they're pro-Palestine or pro-Israel dissent the other. And it's like, I think at its deepest root, it comes from a good place, but disseminating it and getting it out.

And the second you go, why feel this and someone goes, why feel that? You so desperately want the other person to immediately empathize with your side out of the goodness of your heart that then it turns to anger and conflict and strife. But I think all of it comes from a place of like, no, no one should feel hurt. No one should feel upset. Like, aren't you understanding what's going on? Care, love.

But at the end of the day, you know, this is my nihilicide. It's like life is hell, life is hard, be harder, shut the fuck up, bad things happen, who gives a shit, trudge along, and just know that at the end of the day, we all fucking die. So do you want your last fucking breath being an argument with someone you've spent your whole entire life loving because you both think differently,

grow the fuck up. You're acting like a baby, go be nice to someone and fucking kill yourself. If you don't see the fucking force for the trees, all right? No, no, I'm Wolf Glitzer. That was a direct message from Hamas. We don't understand why they are saying that, but it's not in line with their brand. But yeah, it was a big...

Yeah, man, I think there's a lot to be said for like, not for like getting real simple when it comes to that. So because it does seem to be like the invitation is like, it's to sort of like buy into a more complex reality than what actually exists. Because if it's complex, then you can, you can, like, within that complexity, you can find an excuse to demonstrate aggression like, which is, which is what across the board, everyone is against. Like, we are, we've all gotten to the point where we all seem to agree that aggression

leads to horrible things. So reducing aggression makes a better world. But the problem is that people are being aggressive in their denouncement of aggression. So it produces an infinite spiral of aggression. Like how can you aggressively tell people, it's like, how is my kid's kids karate class and the karate teacher made this wonderful point Which is like so many parents say this to their kids be quiet Be quiet you're being too loud. It's like how are you yelling to be quiet like you know you you're yelling

You're allowed you have to be quiet and then ask people to be quiet after you've found some kind of peace inside of yourself. And but who knows, man, I'm just so happy that I get to be a comedian in this lifetime and not a fucking politician or some kind of like diplomat or some kind of general. Oh, God, it's also like I see so many comics like feeling like while I have a platform and I must blah blah and it goes, Hey, fucko. At the end of the day,

we're legitimately clowns. We're planned. It's our job to bring joy. Now, if you can find joy in scolding people, I mean, I just don't see the point in trying to tell people how to think my whole job and what I've accepted is my fate in this world and what I love truly love to do is to enhance joy in people's lives. And I wanna make people's interactions with me, whether it's the things I put out, what I say and how I act on stage or just an interaction we have, I want you to leave my sphere happier than you were

when you came into it. And that is through laughter, that is through joy. And in scolding or having these conversations that turn into a fight, it's like you're depriving people of joy. Like people are seeing us as comics to forget the horrors of the world. They don't want to be talked at. They don't want to be told what to think. And I think that's a gift. And that's a gift I'm very grateful to have to be able to give people this joy and laughter You know, yeah, and it's our job to travel to towns to make people forget or To see the horrors of the world and think about them in a different way

And I think as like comics we get away from that because we feel so self-important and the fucking ego of I have to do that and it's like dude you don't have to do shit but make people laugh whatever way you can just fucking do it and you know find joy in that find joy in the little things. Yeah, and watch out because you know the slippery slope of the Messiah comedian complex is that it can, you can all of a sudden look down and you're the fucking president of Ukraine. Oh my God. You can be a comedian. Yeah.

You see what happens? Like, see, that's how, that's, you know, was a comedian. Just wanted to make people laugh, but then he got a little serious and now he's got to be the fucking president of Ukraine. That's how bad it can get if you let yourself get to swept up in this thing or that. I mean, I don't think comedians shouldn't, and I don't think you're saying this, I don't think that, you know, I think the beauty of being a comedian is there is no lane like we're we're fools like that We're we're we're professional fools. We and one quality of being a fool and the reason I have compassion and empathy for the comedians that do end up getting vacuumed up into becoming like an unfunny

and I'm getting vacuumed up into becoming like an unfunny, I don't know what you would call it. A spokesperson for this particular group or that particular group is because part of being a fool is you would do something like that, like only a fool. You know what, I mean, that's a characteristic of a fool, is you think you know everything. And so you read some tweets, and you think suddenly that you are like an expert when it comes to global politics, or an expert when it comes to like, you know, mitigating the spread of a disease or something like that, because you're a fool. You don't know. Like any time

I will hear myself ear-beating somebody about some shit and I'll suddenly realize I have no Fucking idea what I'm talking about like I I don't why am I portraying myself is being some expert in I don't why am I portraying myself as being some expert in the politics, the Syrian politics or something, you know what I mean? I don't know. I don't, I'm, I couldn't find like, I, I don't know. Yes. Pretty sure I could find Israel on a map. But I could if the fucking map had the names of the fucking countries and continents on it. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah.

You know, yeah, no, dude, the smartest man. I have like five minutes. The smartest man in the room says, I don't know. I mean, you know, I don't know. And yeah, I try to live my life. My, by, you know, admitting that I don't know, you know, all you know admitting that I don't know you know all I know is that I don't know all I know is that I don't know nothing Operation I be quote and then a second quote I love is Oh fuck what is it? It's by Bruce Lee when he goes

empty your mind Be formless shapeless like water and if you put water into a cup, it becomes a cup. If you put water into a bottle, it becomes a bottle. Be water. You know, like be shapeless and just allow. I try so hard to just allow, you know, and being self-aware enough, like you just said to go, oh, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

That is so beautiful. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about that is so beautiful the thing I don't know yeah one of the prize picks for supporting this episode of the DTFH, prize picks is the largest independently owned daily fantasy sports platform in North America. And it is a miracle because I am not someone who is generally absorbed in sports but somehow prize picks figured out a way to make daily fantasy sports easy understandable and simple to play. I can't believe they didn't. I just make my picks, submit my entry in less than 60 seconds and that's it. It's teaching me about sports. It's teaching me about football.

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I don't know. It's such a wonderful thing to surrender to that. Okay, here's one of my favorite Zen stories. I don't remember what book I read it in. This, some academic and expert, a scholarly expert on Buddhism, went to meet the Zen Master from Japan. And so they're sitting together having tea on the floor, I tried traditional, I don't think it was a tea ceremony, but they're drinking tea. The academic is going on and on and on about Zen

to the Zen Master. The Zen Master begins to pour tea into the academics cup. And he keeps pouring and pouring until the tea is spilling out all over the floor. And like with a big smile, he says to him, there's no more room for tea in the cup. And you know what I mean? You were like, you're too full of information. I think to wear many, you know what I mean? There's not you're too full. That is amazing. Yeah. Isn't that cool? I love that.

It comes out the cup has to come as we empty if you want more tea. And yeah, man, that, that, uh, but if you ever like, like I think the feeling of not knowing and for a lot of people me included, it's kind of unsettling, right? I was just thinking when you were saying the fear of not knowing, I go, I think that's why so many people feel the need to pretend they know because there is a fear and not knowing, a fear of the unknown. And and it feel that you do know and you try to act like you know, there's a comfort in that and a safety, but the only way to grow is through getting through uncomfortability. And there's uncomfortability saying I don't know. And it's the problem with that kind of safety is it's the most unsafe thing because you

don't know and because you're imagining you do, you're like lazily researching shit to try to get the answers quickly as possible. Usually that means like a Google search, but then when you're Google searching, it's not like you're reading academic articles, it's like you're reading a headline. And from that, it scratches the itch. Like, oh, now I know.

It's like, you know, you absolutely have no idea who wrote the article if that information has changed because to do that to really like deeply into something It takes time man. It takes so much time and and so you This creates this like idiot since of safety of Okay, I figured that thing out. And it's like, no, you haven't figured it out at all. You are, you're more lost than before you looked into it,

because you didn't look into it deeply enough. So now you've stopped looking, because you think you've found the answer. It's a real dangerous thing. So it's, you know, getting comfortable with that feeling of just like, I have no idea. I don't know. And I know that I'm not going to spend the requisite amount of time to know this, because I don't have that kind of time, because I am playing Bouters Gate 3. And I'm going to be that instead. Yeah. It's funny.

It's funny. You mentioned that, man, because I was on the flight yesterday, and I watched Ghostbusters. And, you you know the opening scene takes place in the library and you know the the librarian is going around and it's just the near public library It's just surrounded by books the Dewey Decimal System the card catalog and all the cards go flying It's like the amount of work that went into knowing and figuring something out years ago was so labor intensive. And now it's a quick little tapity tap tap

and your fingers on Google. And it's like, that's fleeting. But if you're like going and like digging and like searching in a book and then you see something else and this and that, it's like, I feel like that's like hard knowledge etched upon you. but now this every sort of thing, like you just said, looking something up and seeing a headline is just so surface level that it just, I don't know, I'm such a fan of work and back breaking work, whether

be to yourself spiritually or emotionally or physically to get somewhere that to just be able to have the world's infinite knowledge in your pocket is so weird to me. It's like so spooky. It really is, dude. You know, to the point, I just read this thing is now happening, which is so weird. So a while ago, there was this huge controversy about AI art. And because the AI art is taking infinite numbers of images that is vacuumed off the web, and it's using that to sort of create seemingly new art via prompts. And the argument is that's not real art, but also that's copy, that's theft because it's other people's art that's been Frankenstein together in a way that looks new, but no one

gave a shit about that, and so no one regulated AI art. And so now the AI is vacuuming more images off the internet, but a bigger percentage of those images are AI images. So it's now taking like AI art and duplicating the AI art more, right? So it's like it's sort of this recursive copying of itself. Now my point is that went with Twitter or with social media, what's happening is somebody will say something on social media. That's the waisiest way to gather information is to read what someone else tweets and assume they're an expert, but you read what someone else tweets and then you see it somewhere else

and somewhere else and you start thinking maybe that is true. And then that begins to inform your opinion about this thing or that. And so then you regurgitate that in your own words, essentially doing what the AI is doing for art, but with information. It's not your original idea. You might be changing a word or two here or there, but you're just sort of spitting up something that you have consumed. And so what ends up happening is like a human synopeed situation. Remember that movie? Human synope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you're shitting and I guess what is it you?

You're either he was selling people's mouths to their assholes, right? Which for me, for me, someone would I'm in, but then the swallowing the ship part I'm out. It depends on the asshole. Come on, let's be honest, man. You don't wanna get sent to just in the asshole. He he he he. Come on. Could you imagine you get human centipede it up

with an asshole that just doesn't, isn't your type? I mean, of all the luck. Dude, I'm not, I mean, you're looking around because you're like thinking like who's asshole? Please let it be your asshole. Please, please, oh no oh no no yeah not her asshole so you know I'm saying like we're what ends up at what what's happening you know we're all just shitting information into each other's mouths and then shitting it in other people's

mouths creating this sort of virulent increasingly diluted perspective on things and non-new on. That's the problem. That's why I had to look at it. Like AI with the paintings and the pictures, you could tell that it was AI because the fingers were messed up, right? And so it's like when we are emulating AI with the paintings and everything, but with the information, like slowly the information is messed up and it just gets warped by the final product. And you know, in talking about this

and bringing all this up, you know who got it right? You know who figured it out? Ted Kaczynski, that guy fucking fucking nailed it just being in the woods alone my technology goddamn God bless him yeah he was he like yeah that is the the problem with his essay you know it's like you want to read a manifesto by a serial killer and not agree with certain points. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like, you're like, you're like completely wrong, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, yeah, I mean, we just, I don't think there's any use beating humanity up over techno. I don't think there's anything we could like maybe like a tree that's covered with some

kind of like invasive vine that is cutting it off from the sun. If trees could think maybe they would feel like a little guilty. Like I shouldn't let that thing grow around me. But it's like, you're a fuck of tree. You can't really do anything about it. It seems like with technology, there's not much we could have done. Like it just, it was, we were destined to have our brains encroached upon by this like super fast data vine that is is choking our ability to deeply into things and confusing

us in the most incredible way. It's sad because it's hard to see how humanity regains its ability to grow intellectually to like to do the heavy lifting of like looking deeply into things and I don't see how I just think it you know in the East, have you ever heard the term colla-yuga? No, explain. What is that? No. That's the age that we're in.

We're in the age of colla-yuga. And it's the most degenerate age. And so, like, there's other ages. There've been other ages. And each of these ages has characteristics, but there's an sort of entropic downward spiral with each progressive age. And Kalliga is the last age before the apocalypse. And so in the Kalliga, there's all these like, yeah, the qualities in the Kali Yuga are aggression, confusion, and a sort of diminished intelligence

and memory. And so technology, it seems as though it's this like, pinnacle of humanity, when in fact, it's just like a really fancy crutch that we have to use because we've become so dumb. So that technology is, you know, if you start using crutches and you don't need them, eventually you will need them because your muscles will atrophy. And that's sort of what technology is doing to us as a species. It's causing this, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like it's so advanced and high-tech, but just because the tools we're using are advanced,

doesn't mean we're advanced. We're just using advanced tools. And the tool itself is not making us more advanced. It's not we're working more because of it. We're not working less. We're, you know what I mean, it's not creating the utopia that we thought it would, you know, we're not working less, we're, you know what I mean, it's not creating the utopia that we thought it would, you know, we're, oh, great. Now we want to work as much as we'll have more time with our families and our friends. But rather, it's just making it to now you have to work wherever you go, because you're carrying your office. And everyone's favorite pastime is now arguing.

Instead of like getting together as family and watching a simple game like baseball or fucking some sort of thing, everyone's like, I've got three time. Why don't I go on the internet and argue? Wow, remember earlier? Just fucking argue. I was like, criticized.

Remember earlier, I was like, I think humans by nature are good. And this and that, you know what, you've convinced me, humans are fucking parasites. We're the worst. The faster we get off this planet, the better. I, you know, I started my podcast in a positive light right now. Fucking bring it on Callie Huga.

Let's fuck it. Go. Callie Huga. The ground. Sounds like a wrestler. Callie Huga. Yeah. Callie Huga. sound like a wrestler. Kalehouda. Kalehouda! He makes you dumb. He doesn't just pile drive you when he gets off of you.

You have 5% less IQ. Well, no, it's okay. No, you should know. You are right. It's okay. No, it's the the You should know you were right Like the the beautiful thing about any of this you know what CS Lewis says The gates of hell are locked from the inside The the you can get out anytime you want the beautiful thing about any of this stuff is it Turn out you could just pick up a fucking book

Anytime you want like you could in the moment you do that your brain will Recover quickly like you anytime I've I returned or reading It's like my vocabulary gets better. I sleep better. I feel better So it's I don't think the damage is feel better. So it's, I don't think the damage is necessarily like long-term damage. I just think it's the, it's so addictive that most people, I mean, God, Jesus, Ian, you want to feel fucking disgust for your species. Just go on the live streams of the gods of strip and look at the comments. Look at these fucking idiots like, oh god, oh god is right. Like it you it'll do two things. One, it will make you a little cynical. Two, it'll make you feel like Albert fucking Einstein. He's idiot doing like like idiots like like you like indescribable buffoons are posting the dumbest shit as bombs are going

off and I don't just mean like obvious dumb shit like boo-boom another bomb but like I saw someone But like I saw someone someone commented this war is so boring. No That is like oh my god, that is a level of dystopian. I could not even imagine in a book that someone could dream up of just being a retune into war going, hmm, next. What's on the other war channel? This is boring. Ha, holy fuck. No, they're saying that. They're like, what's a better feed than this this is there a feed where there's more bombs going off

Because this one is just like the fuck is wrong with the camera man Why won't he turn the camera towards the bombs? Because he's probably like hovering over his child to protect them Can't turn his neck Jesus Christ. That is scary Yeah, yeah It really is that's almost beautiful Really to be to be so disconnected with life and reality to be watching war and go No, this sucks. What's on the other war channel? Like God bless them. That's stupid moron. God

blette. God. No, no, no, this is why this shit helps me understand. Like when Jesus is being crucified, one of the last things he says is he's looking out of the people laughing. It is like slow agonizing, unjustified, execution. One of the last things he says is father forgive them, they don't know what they're doing. And the comment on one level, it seems like sweet on another level. It's a fucking, that's, he's like,

well, he's literally throwing shade. But since he's up on the cross or the sun is, I'm sorry. But I love it, I love it. I love it. It's out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's the other reason he's throwing. It's like saying like they're idiots. Yeah. Like punishing them is like, oh, they don't even they don't know what they're doing. Like they they don't know what they're literally they don't know what they're doing. Like they don't know what they're literally, they don't know what they're doing. It's like hitting a puppy that shits on the ground and not the paper. It's like, it doesn't know what it's doing.

It's just trying to, it's so ignorant and dumb. It's almost like, oh. That, I think that is kind of like the final analysis of Jesus. It's like, almost like there was some some research happening on top of the teaching and the final analysis is a yeah sorry but um they're they have no idea where they are. That's amazing. I never thought of it that way. Yeah Jesus is like dude. dad don't even fucking punish these fucks there so dumb They don't even realize they don't even know oh

God these poor fellas meanwhile. He's like asphyxiate and slowly Yeah, yeah, he's like dying and it's just like yeah They they didn't when they did this they didn't really put a lot of thought into it They're just sort of they do whatever pops into their head next and usually that thing sucks. So, because if they knew, then how do you forgive? You're right. No one's like, I forgave my puppy yesterday. I spent some time thinking about it and and finally I realized I'm gonna forgive

and shitting on my fucking bed. Hahaha. Yeah. Yeah, I, man, look, you look at, it goes back to what you're saying originally. You just, you gotta find some more simple way of being that isn't informed by billion dollar propaganda machines or you're just going to be really annoying. All day. Yeah, and unhappy, you know, it's like, dude, life sucks, life's hard, be harder, call a friend, ask them about their life, try to do something nice or someone else because at the end of the day It's like dude imagine you're like last thought is like this piece of shit doesn't think the way I think

You know, it's like is that how you want to go out? Is that how you want to fucking die your life? Yeah, yeah, that's that's like an insane way to be to me. And it's like, dude, I don't know. I think about this a lot because I ride a bike in New York City, like a bicycle. And it's like ostensibly, I could be taken out at any time. Like when I'm going through an intersection, some guy could fucking run a red light, smack me up. I could die.

And it's like every time I get on my bike, I think about that, I don't obsess, but it does cross my mind. And then you know what I do? I put my arms out, no hands on the handlebars. I feel the wind hitting me passing by. And I go, if I were to die right now, I would be so content with the thumbprint I left on this earth.

I don't have any enemies right now. I'm not an argument and I'm pretty fucking happy. And if I went out right now, I don't think I'd have one fucking regret. And if in my head I go, if I were to go out right now, I'd be upset that I didn't mend this fence with this person. Well, the first chance I get, I'm calling them to go, hey, I fucked up. Let's fucking work this out so that anytime I could possibly go out, I go, I did it my way. There's no regret I got right now.

Ian, you are my favorite. I am so lucky to have you as my friend. Thank you for that. I think that is just exactly what I needed to hear today on the day of Jahad. Yes. That's a real true medicine, my friend. Do you have, or you're doing shows now,

this won't, probably by the time this comes out, I don't know, when's your winter next show how can we signal boost something that isn't a message of destruction what's coming up for you? Well in a way it is destruction because I level the room when I'm on the mic next week I Next weekend October 20 and 21st of mid-port comedy club in Baltimore, Maryland. I'm excited about that November 3rd. I'm at Amityville music hall in Long Island, New York and I am excited to say I'm recording my first Standup special December 3rd, New York City, the cutting room, eNFidance.com for tickets, two shows, we're going to pack it out, sell it out, and have the fucking

time of our lives, baby. I can't wait. You are so funny, man. I hope you all will go see M.L.I. because I'm God, dude. I fucking love you. You are the Mollisher. I love you, Ian, and I hope that you get home safe. I hope you have good shows tonight. I hope you don't get entangled with a road lover as you so often do and that well, I hope you do. If you don't want, I don't know why I said that. Get entangled. I don't get it. Whatever it is, you do out there. You're the best. You're the best. I can't wait to see in Austin. Yeah, I'm excited. Oh, yeah, that's right. I'll be down there in like two or three weeks. And you have such an, you know, I talked about leaving my thumbprint on this globe, but you have left such an imprint in my life. And in the lives of so many others, man, you're such a beautiful soul and I'm so glad we We get to connect and my day is always better when you're in it. So thank you Duncan. I love you

I love you. How do you kiss now? Thank you. That was Ian Fy dance everybody goes CM live. You will not regret it. He is so funny Thank you to our sponsors and thank you for supporting our sponsors, which is the best way to support the DTFH. I love you guys and I will see you next week.