Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 591: Conner Habib

Episode Date: November 17, 2023

Conner Habib, it is fire, it is beauty, it is brilliance, re-joins the DTFH! DUBLIN and EVERYWHERE ELSE! Be sure to join Conner for his LIVE and ONLINE workshop on Saturday, December 2! It's called Occult Philosophies: An Introduction to Rudolf Stener & the Western Esoteric Tradition. Tickets available right here. Conner is also an author and has his own podcast! Read his book, Hawk Mountain, available everywhere you get your books, and check out his podcast, Against Everyone with Conner Habib! Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: Uncommon Goods - Visit UncommonGoods.com/Duncan for 15% Off your first order! Lumi Labs - Visit MicroDose.com and use code DUNCAN at checkout for 30% Off and FREE Shipping on your first order! Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 T.S. Eliot was a poet, essayist, publisher, playwright, literary critic, and editor. He is considered to be one of the 20th century's greatest poets, as well as a central figure in English-language modernist poetry. His trials in language, writing style, and structure, reinvigorated English poetry. He is also noted for his critical essays, which often re-evaluated long-held cultural beliefs. But last week, after opening a trunk purchased at an estate sale, Shanda Claren, a London retiree, made a discovery that changes everything we know about Elliott.
Starting point is 00:00:45 At first I thought the trunk was just filled with ladies slippers, but then I realized that inside each slipper was a handwritten poem. Each signed by TS Elliott. The poems were sent to Dr Amanda Humphrey of the Royal Literary Society for Analysis and Verification. When I saw these poems for the first time, I nearly wept. It was as though I were alone in the room with Elliot. There on the paper, dotted by dried yellow dots of Elliot's tea, were undiscovered writings by one of the greatest poets in modern history.
Starting point is 00:01:15 These poems are classic Elliot. Bundled within them are all of Elliot's desires and longings. Take panty line, for example. A line that stretches across a yard thin, tenuous fibril yet firm, a silken tendon of drying. And like flags, the panties dangle their free-flying, drying but still moist in the morning air
Starting point is 00:01:35 and like spider-blown for a moment, from his shimmering web left to float in that place between earth and sky. I crawl quietly through the yard, returning to the panty line. Here Elliot captures the poignant, transient beauty of a clothes line, a symbol of life itself upon which we tread like a tight rope walker, and then we have coming stone, where Elliot writes about a visit to a cemetery. The light that shines upon the stone is not enough to make me come, and so my legs they carry me softly through the morning breeze. At last I find a
Starting point is 00:02:06 coming stone that marks the home of ancient bones and draw forth spray and decorate the grave they say I desecrate. But my favourite of all of them is yellow. You can almost hear Elliot crying out for his mother. Man I may be with chest of hair and bearded chin firm and square, but in moonlight with no one there it's yellow diaper that I wear. And who shall hear my rattle, who shall fill my bottle as I lay alone upon the floor, gazing sadly at the door, I come till I can come no more."
Starting point is 00:02:34 The handwritten poems now verified by the London Literary Verification Society are valued at over 7,000 pounds and will go on auction next week. I'm a part of history For the all hard with joy For worlds to stay in a dwelling And the all dancing in the blind I hope you love truth
Starting point is 00:03:24 I hope you feel a truth I hope you never the truth, I hope you're not too scared of seeking Unless you're carrying a sleepy guy They'll always be in the least eye I hope they die I hope they have all the good memories erased and all we remember the worst days. I hope they can last in some horrible haze pure confusion.
Starting point is 00:03:58 I hope most of it while I watch in some cursed forest in the night, I'll make use of every fight." Greetings friends, it is I, D. True Cell, and what you just heard was the singing of the Garbott Chaos Warbler. I'm sad to say that these birds were hunted to extinction by idiots who didn't understand how beautiful their song truly was. Oh, how lucky you were if you heard the song of a chaos warbler outside your window. And it fills me with such grim rage to picture the final moments of the final chaos warbler who landed in front of the window of a New Yorker who decided to smash it to death with a Bible.
Starting point is 00:04:53 I'm so fucking pissed off all I've been doing is smoking weed and snorting rails of Xanx. Anything to help me not feel the trembling anger that has caused my remaining ball to suction up deep into my tank. I'm not gonna keep raging and rant in here but I just want you to know I'm really upset right now and I hope whoever killed the last chaos warbler is real happy. I hope they're out there in New York City having some pizza pie and feeling real good about what they did because the world is Watching you or someone probably is watching you or should be I hope someone watches you for a long time We got a great podcast for you today
Starting point is 00:05:42 Conner Habib has returned and you know whenever Connor Habib comes back, it is fire, it is beauty, it is brilliance, and this I think is the best podcast we ever did together. Before we jump into that though, I would love to invite you to come to some of my shows. If you happen to be listening to this the week of November 14th, I'm going to be in Salt Lake City. If you try to get tickets and realize, holy shit, it's sold out. We added not just one extra show, which also sold out, but another extra show on Sunday. So if you go to the Wiseguys website or go to my website or go to my Instagram, you can find ticket links to the remaining show
Starting point is 00:06:26 that we just added. I hope that you will come out. I'm taking two weeks off. There won't be any DTFHs for two weeks or any stand up, but I'm coming back to December 14th. I'm going to be at the Comedy Zone in Charlotte, NC December 14th through the 16th. Don't sleep on getting those tickets. You can find them at DunkinTrustle.com. I'm praying that it's not an anomalous phenomena that I sold out wise guys in Salt Lake City
Starting point is 00:06:51 and that all my shows are going to start selling out so that my ego will get a massive boner. You can find the Comedy Zone tickets at DunkinTrustle.com. And then after that, I'm going to be at the comedy works January 11th, helium comedy club, and Indianapolis January 25th, the comedy works is in Denver. Then you can find me at Hyenas in April. And there's a lot of dates in between that I have yet to put up on my website. So I should probably get on that. All right, oh, and subscribe to the Patreon. It's patreon.com for us, DTFH, you'll get commercial free episodes of this podcast, and eventually I'm gonna upload an entire hour of me
Starting point is 00:07:35 just plugging random shit with no podcast attached. So you just get a whole hour of me going on and on and on plugging things, but first I have to finish designing my signature set of DTFH, Nipple Extenders and Clamps. They're coming. Don't worry. Today's guest, Connor Habib, has a wonderful podcast that I hope you all will definitely check out. It's called Against Everyone with Connor Habib. He also wrote an amazing book called Huck Mountain. And this is very important. He has an upcoming event that I hope you all will sign up for. It's called a cult philosophies, an intro to Rudolph Steiner and the Western Esoteric tradition with Conor Habib, that Saturday, December
Starting point is 00:08:27 2nd. I'm telling you, this man that you're about to listen to is a genius. I love chatting with him, and if you are interested in having your mind blown, smattered all about, exploded, then recombinated. Is that a word? Rearranged. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad.
Starting point is 00:08:49 It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad.
Starting point is 00:08:57 It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. If you want to sign up, go to ConorHabeeb.com.
Starting point is 00:09:07 Click on events. You can find all the upcoming events there and you can sign up. But now, won't you listen to this wonderful conversation with my dear friend, ConorHabeeb. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. I'm gonna sing it. You're a beautiful person. Connor, welcome back to the DTFH, my friend. It's so good to see you. Here we go again. It's great to see you too.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Here we go again. Now, I'm looking at the background of your beautiful Irish home. I got some, seeing some books there on the shelf, you got candles burning. What part of the house is that? You have like a study or what am I looking at? It's just the front room. I've turned the front room into like, yeah, where we sit and watch TV,
Starting point is 00:10:15 but there's also like my little work desk and everything, which I think like anybody wants to be a writer or do any kind of creative thing, they have to have their own space. Like they read that out their own space. It makes such a difference to clear it out and then reopen it with the intention. So rather than using a whole room in the house, I do have a room upstairs that's just like a reading room. But rather than like that, I have just a desk gets a wall, I'll have like a painting above me that you can't see and like a tree and everything. And that feels like I'm in a different room when I do this. Like you know what it's like when you set up a base, it actually, it does transport you. And like I tell every writer that I work with or whatever I'm like, make a space.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Yeah. And you know, I feel like one of the many linguistic to services of the post industrial revolution society that we're existing in is the word office. So like we are limited, just shoved into the stupid word for our creative spaces. So you call it a fucking office. It's not an office. It's a laboratory, you know, an occult chamber. And you know, whatever you want to call it an
Starting point is 00:11:27 alchemical laboratory, whatever you want to call it, but office. I mean, truly, if you want to defing linguistically, what is you do in a space where you're creating, call it a fucking office? It's an office. It's like I do my filing here. Even, I mean, then I say this word sometimes, but even workspace, like, I just, I don't like that. Oh, yeah. Wow. I'm workspace. It's a shared workspace. These mother fuckers, man, they just, they're so good. Like, you want to talk about this,
Starting point is 00:12:03 the, the, the sorcerers that live on this fucking planet. They are so good at making everything about work, mundanity. You know what I mean? Like just just turning everything, what's it called? Sad beige mom? You ever heard of this? No, but I get it already. Yeah. You get it, right? It's like this impulse that happens where they just want everything to be beige. It's something like happens in their brain. It's postpartum. I'm sorry. Bage moms. But like, yeah, they just bage it down, man,
Starting point is 00:12:38 bage it down. And like similarly, these sorcerers, man, they just want to like yank the fucking teeth. They want to declaw the cat. Basically, you know the whole state of that is, dude? It's like, remember, like you would get this like sticky pillow attachment thing to put on the phone. So you could like lean your head over and like hold the corded phone up against, like we had one of those in my house when I was a kid,
Starting point is 00:13:05 and it was beige. And it was that weird kind of like, you know, like squished pupa shape, that like you'd leave an over and hold it, and it also had the weirdest like texture. It was like kind of plastic, but kind of soft. And all it was was so you could tilt, and like just fucking ruin your neck and spine and vertebra,
Starting point is 00:13:24 so you could like talk on the corded phone and it was beige and that's the shape of their spell like it's the shape of that gross phone pillow. Yeah, pupa, pupa. And again, like I'll tell you man, if I was like a demon or if I was running some organized demonic experiment, number one would not keep hell the same. Like I would do various experiments and how be like, okay, this millennia, let's do beige. We're gonna do like phones and like, it will be a pupa. Like they won't see that they're cradling a pulsating demonic larva.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Under there. And, but it shall be a larva and that'll be funny because they won't know this lately. A demonic impregnated demonic catapult. Yeah. That's where it holds and pulls from. Yeah. You know, the last time we try to do how they we let them have their alchemical laboratories and they almost defeated us with their metaphysical power. So let's call them offices this time.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Make sure we limit the scope of what they do this time to filing. Right. Like if we find Atlantis, like we find, you know, like all the sun and city of Atlantis, the reason why it fell is you just find those beige filing cabinets and like, just like the state, the Claude stable removers and stuff like that. Nothing to advance, you know. That was paper clips.
Starting point is 00:14:53 Yeah, everywhere. Yeah, paper clips, malfunctioning printers. Well, Connor, so, you know, we decided to do this podcast because you have a class coming about the occult and Rudolph Steiner. And so, I mean, that's a pretty broad topic. What, how do you, like, when you start a class
Starting point is 00:15:19 like that in the occult, like what's day one look like? Well, this is, it's only one day. So day one and day. Oh day one is your own. It's all the same. Yeah. Day time's just an illusion, maybe. So this is one to quote dangles.
Starting point is 00:15:34 This is one day. The one main the last day is near. Yeah. So what does it look like? How do we, how do you, how do you teach about this? Is this for advanced students? No, no. Yeah, I mean, it could be like,
Starting point is 00:15:48 it could be for people that are interested in it, you know, already and have some, so it's called the cult philosophies and intro to Rudolph Steiner in the Western as the terror tradition. And basically, you know, and this is, I hope we just talk about this this episode because I've just been noticing world events
Starting point is 00:16:06 I mean, you can't help but notice them, you know, they seize hold of you and I was like, okay, so what's actually Needed right now and I know that some of what's needed is for people to connect with you know spirit to connect with their spirituality There are other people that are you know working on that but for me I look at my spirituality is coming from the Westernist or Tarrac tradition. With Rudolf Steiner is a singular figure, but I particularly mean like esoteric Christianity and Rudolf Steiner is the big figurehead of that. So I'm not like a Steinerite or, you know, even maybe his system is called Anthroposophy,
Starting point is 00:16:44 even anthropocifist, exactly, but I find a lot to drawn from there. And so I decided to just offer this kind of basic introductory course. The guy has 6,000 lectures, his dozens of books, and he's really kind of in some ways difficult to grasp. And so I'm just going to leave people through some of the basic concepts, but also offer some experiential exercises
Starting point is 00:17:16 that we can do, you know, like you and I did like on one of the episodes we did together, I kind of led you through like a bit of a... I think about it once a week. I'm not joking. I think about it once a fucking week. I let you into my head. I'm not done. I do. I really do, man. You're so my mind. It was thanks. Thanks. Yeah. You're so funny. You called me. I think on that episode, you were like, you're a living psychedelic substance. And I just had a guest on the show. I think on that episode, you're like, you're living psychedelic substance, and I just had a guest on the show, Polar Lesco, she's just this incredible,
Starting point is 00:17:48 like, money, esoteric worker person, she's so cool. And she said the same thing to me. She was like, you're like living LSD, and I was like, thank you. The only other person that said that to me was Dunkin' Trust, was like, I love Dunkin' too. I like the, you know, activating substance for people in that way. Um, and I hope this, this course will be that too,
Starting point is 00:18:11 because there's some, I'm not doing it to like give people sensationalistic experiences or anything. It's to leave them through so they can understand. There's like, uh, there's a quote from Rudolf Steinner where he kind of said, exasperated to all the people that are coming to visit him. And listen to him, he was like, I don't want you to believe me. I want you to understand me. And so that's what I'm trying to do is offer some understanding to something that seems otherwise really dense.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Even though it's been picked up and influenced so many people, like it's influenced Rachel Carson, who wrote Silent Spring me and started the environmental movement, Fondana Shiva, the seed activist. I mean some people that you would know like John Qsac and you know, Tilda Switten helps start a small Rudashjara school. It's behind Waldorf education, biodynamic farming, community shared agriculture, camp hill communities, and then like lots of experimental artists that people know, Hillmouth communities, and then lots of experimental artists
Starting point is 00:19:05 that people know, Helmouth, Clint, and Vosly Kandinsky, Joseph Burr. I know, I Kandinsky, okay, I love Kandinsky. Well, you might know the filmmaker, Andrej Tarkowski, who did stalker, and Solaris, he was basically an anthroposophist. So people are deeply influenced by this, and nobody really in the US knows that much about it. And for me,
Starting point is 00:19:28 whenever there are, I think you do this too. It's something that's really like cool about your show, is whenever there are times where everything feels really condensed and heavy, like things are just like a almost like a hardened collapse star, you know, and you feel like there's nowhere to go and there's nowhere to breathe. It's so important to turn to the things that seem wild and impossible and almost like just nuts because then suddenly everything starts opening up and all these new possibilities become available in your imagination and therefore your ability to act and direct things. So that's why this is so important to me now and why I'm offering it. Okay, this reminds me, and I'm sure he's
Starting point is 00:20:12 influenced by Jotorowski. One of my favorite Jotorowski quotes is sometimes you got to kick over the Ants Nest and watch him build it back up. And you know, it's like that, right? I mean, it's like, we're talking, this, you know, the tendency in the universe, things coalesce, densify, and then there's this form that happens. And which is great if you wanna like live on a planet, have a house, you need coalesce matter. But when it happens to you, and you coalesce, you know, what I mean, too much. And then you start resisting the very thing that got you there in
Starting point is 00:20:51 the first place. That's where that's to me. That's in any time that happens. This is where I start getting depressed, start getting grumpy, shitty. So that's what you're talking about. Like this is a sort of methodology of deconstructing whatever kind of condensed, eagotic form you happen to be stuck in. Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, for me, it's definitely in my own personal life and then just in the life of the world and obviously there's a lot of
Starting point is 00:21:31 Shall we say painful exchange between those two that's going on in people's lives right now They see the world and they feel there are no options people are really right feel as if we have lost the power to direct things. But in fact, we are a part of it, and we do have the power to direct things. But before we can actually access that, we have to feel like, oh, I can direct things. So before we access actually directing things, we have to get in touch with the thinking and the feelings and the ability to act, that is like, I actually can change things. And usually the contraction of that, the inaccessibility of that is due to people
Starting point is 00:22:14 not feeling like there are any options to them because they're only looking at what's in front of them. And usually when the world has gone so crazy, it's because the options that they think they have choice A or choice B are bound together. I mean, the easiest way for Americans, I think, to understand that is like Democrat Republican, two-party, politic, whatever. Right. And then, you know, they desperately scramble like, well, what if we had a third-party candidate?
Starting point is 00:22:40 But what I'm saying is like, let's, you know, first we can go beyond that totally and say, why do we have political parties? But then we go beyond that and say, like, why this structure at all, why these economic, cultural, and political structures at all, when there could be something completely different available to us. And all it takes is us to sort of move into a different way of approaching that unfurls into action and connectivity with others. Oh my god, you gave me a gift card. After I hummed you, that makes me feel like a prostitute. I wish you'd gone to uncommon good, good, good, good.
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Starting point is 00:26:06 I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. Are we talking about like some kind of initial faith or some kind of a set, like a faith that, like there is the probability, possibility of change that doesn't look like the change you're used to? Is that what it, like it does it start with that kind of like, you know, that's something that excites me. Is there every once in a while? I remember, wait, it can be totally,
Starting point is 00:26:50 profoundly different than the way it is right now. What that difference looks like, I don't know, but you know what I mean, I plug into that imminent possibility. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, I mean, I think that the faith part I Would maybe say it a little differently. It's just observation of how the world is worked
Starting point is 00:27:11 I mean if you look at your own life and see how much you've changed I mean just you and I have known each other for really long time and we've seen each other change quite radically I think over the years change quite radically I think over the years. Well, yeah, I became straight and you turned gay. Yeah, as a result of having sex. I know. Ah! I thought we were never going to go to fight.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Okay, no, but I just one brush of that dude against my balls and suddenly I, I, I, I, we were roommates. So I, yeah, but I just, just to say like, you know, you can observe in your own life how radically you've changed. You can also observe how radically nature, which we consider to be permanent has changed. You can examine how things like, you know, social moors have changed in your just in your own lifetime up till now. And we're even dead yet, right? And so much has changed. And so just to remember that that change is available to us all at all times, but even more radical than that. So that maybe there's a little bit of faith there, but I would just start with the observation that so much is available. And if you start in your imagination, I mean, this isn't something that I'm going to go over in the course. But if you start in your imagination, I mean, this isn't something that I'm going to go over in the course. But if you just close your eyes, and I tell you
Starting point is 00:28:49 to imagine one thing, like a chair, and then I tell you to imagine a dragon, you can do it just like that, right? So it's as profound as that. It's as profound as that. That's what's available to us because it's happening in our thought world. And I'm not talking about manifesting stuff. It takes more than just manifestation and wanting and desire and all that. I mean, maybe that can be a part of it, but it takes a guiding through in a certain way. So, you know, I mean, just, I think, I can't remember if I've said this on the show before, but I remember Grant Morrison, the comic writer, you know, talking about how he grew up with, you know, parents who were against nuclear weapons and I think nuclear power plants as well, but like nuclear
Starting point is 00:29:39 bombs. And he said they were fighting against it all the time. And he's like, and I came to realize at a certain point that nuclear weapons were an idea before they became these material things. And Superman was also an idea. So I figured I would work on, I would work on bringing Superman into the real. And so everything's an idea. Everything has this spiritual form before it descends
Starting point is 00:30:02 into my grandchildren. And solidifies. So that's what I'm talking about. That is cool. It's maybe you could talk a little bit about the unnerving aspect to that because there's something unnerving about that. You know, there's something like death wrapped up in it, not like physical death, but there's something in there where it's like, hey, wait a minute. I don't want to let go of my security blanket here. You're asking me to put down
Starting point is 00:30:33 literally everything and it's scary as fuck because what it's not a blanket, it's the entire way that you're interpreting reality and also the the entire way that you're interpreting reality and also within the possibility that within that reinterpretation reality itself will alter. Does Steiner talk about that? Wuzi kind of feeling you get when you brush up against that possibility? Level after level after level of it in fact, at every unfolding or opening of spiritual development, a new terror, a new woozy, no, so do you call it, occurs, and in some ways, getting through one level of spiritual development does not prepare you for the next, which is even more frightening.
Starting point is 00:31:22 It can strengthen you, but it doesn't necessarily prepare you to see or to overcome or even see the challenge. And so, yeah, I think one of those earlier levels is like, well, what do I, what do I do if I let go of the idea that the world is made of objects and motion and instead see the truth, which is that the world is composed of evolving states of consciousness. So now that that falls away, I'm going to have to do something else here. I'm going to have to see things in a different way. And then when you start doing that, all, I mean, again, would just want to be careful to not say this to just create
Starting point is 00:32:05 the lore of novel exciting weird experiences those all do happen but weird shit starts to happen weird things start to unfold once you start engaging in that way and it can be quite frightening for instance what happens when you take your thoughts as seriously as objects, then you become responsible for them. And that's very, that's something to deal with. But that's something to contend with. It's not always easy for sure. And you know that they can affect people. You know actually your thoughts have an effect in the world. And that is true of everybody already, but once you wake up to it, it becomes even more true and more challenging. So, okay, help me understand that. So in my Buddhist training or whatever you want to call it,
Starting point is 00:32:57 you know, you in Buddhism you'll hear a thing like the mind creates thoughts the way the tongue salivates. There, or, you know. There's this noting is what it's called. So when my mind produces what these days, people call intrusive thoughts. What I do is I go thinking so that I don't get grabbed by the intrusive thoughts sucked in, lost in a universe of horror from that intrusive thought. Just let it go.
Starting point is 00:33:22 But it seems like what you're saying is there's some possibility of shaping the thought prior to its emergence. I think most people think of thinking as a spontaneous emergence of some form, some daydream, whatever it may be. But you're saying that we can sort of incubate thoughts or intentional eyes are thinking. How does that work? Yeah, intentional eyes are thinking is probably is probably the closer way for me of identifying with what you've said. So I think you're what something you're getting to
Starting point is 00:34:05 there is that our thoughts and our thinking are not the same thing. The thoughts are the cast off objects of the activity of thinking and the activity of thinking is what we strive for in spiritual development. The working with the thoughts is something that people work with in self-development and in new age Self-help-econ of stuff. I don't just credit any of that. I think it all has its value up to a certain point Everything has its value, but to the extent that it starts setting you back and Concealing the fact that it's set you back is where I start to worry So just whenever I make any if I make any sort of seemingly judgemental
Starting point is 00:34:47 things as we talk about this, about psychedelics, the way, let me pause you just for real quick. My best friends, and I think of you as one of them, even though we never fucking talk, they brutalize my spiritual stuff. And I love it. Like it never offends me. And it usually helps me. Like usually it, so please don't nerf whatever you're going to say.
Starting point is 00:35:14 Yeah, yeah. And I don't think any of, and if you offend a few people, so what? Like go for it, man. Like cut our throat. Cut our throat on top of your stinary and cigarette. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Good. I mean, good. I will. I but it more it's just to say like listen, don't turn away from what's being said because you think I mean look I was I've done all kinds of fucking crazy shit that spiritual people condemn quite clearly in my life. If you just want to look me up on the internet, you'll find like 200 instances of it easily.
Starting point is 00:35:49 So like, I'm not condemning anybody from doing anything. So, okay, but I will be a little more assertive. So what are you talking about your tweets? No, I'm talking about my dick. So what's it so used to be in my tweets, but isn't so much these days. So I would just say like when we engage with our thinking, we're engaging with something different than our thoughts. There's an active process of thinking. Can we get engaged with that in an intentional way? So I like you said intentional as our thinking. So I say, you know, thinking intentionally, feeling with purity and acting with purpose. That's where I would go with all three of these things
Starting point is 00:36:38 and just sort of layman's terms. It's how we say that again? Yeah, um, thinking with intention act the feeling with purity and acting with purposefulness I want to eat THC but I don't want to think about it eating by crabs. Thanks to Lumi Labs I can do that now. With microdose gummies. I want to thank Lumi Labs not just for supporting the DTFH for so long, but for creating the delicious, wonderful, microdose gummies. Friends, there is no reason for you to overdose yourself on edible weed anymore. There's no reason for you to pick up a suspicious-looking candy and eat it, and send your brain straight to the depths of hell. Lumi Labs has taken care of all of the problems
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Starting point is 00:38:17 I'm telling you, I would not lead you astray. I just take half of one of these sweeties and I am doing great. Microdose. They are available nationwide. You can learn more about microdose and THC by going to microdose.com use code Duncan to get free shipping in 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description, but again, it's microdose.com code Duncan. Thinking with intention, feeling with purity and acting with purposefulness. How many times do we do any of those things? Really, it's very, very, very rare. So this is something that, you know, Rudolf Steiner, and I was just a Christian esotericism in general has general has brought to me, is
Starting point is 00:39:25 being able to try to access all of that and sometimes exceeding mostly failing whatever. But when you talk about thoughts, and you're asking me about this, thought to be in Israel's object, again, thoughts are sort of cast off. But we, and I think Buddhist would agree in, well, some in, in this sense, we latch on to some of them, right? We get distracted from that process, that activity of thinking and we end up latching on discern thoughts. Right. The thoughts in our heads are mostly the voices of a congregation of beings that meet in our address. So they come to speak, they come to appear, they come to do things, the voices of a congregation of beings that meet in our address.
Starting point is 00:40:05 So they come to speak, they come to appear, they come to do things, to juggle, to make weird sounds, to make shapes, to whatever. And to the extent that our thinking activity is not alive, it just ends up becoming a stagnant pool that one of these voices these entities can drink from and drink from and drink from and it's become bigger and bigger and stronger until they become you know something that is interfering with our feelings and therefore unfurling itself into our actions. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah okay so we're we're it's some kind of like Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. So we're it's some kind of like energy or like it's a It's like a pool of mana or something and you're saying that these entities one of them if you're if you're not careful
Starting point is 00:40:57 Takes over the other ones are still there, right? Like yeah, and from this perspective They're still there, but they're being drowned out by whichever one has, like, become the loudest. And let me add to the question, is this to be taken literally? Like that. Sharner would say, there's entities inside of you. OK.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Yeah, definitely, literally. And this is something that I try to work with when I talk with people about this kind of stuff is that I don't want them again. I don't want them to believe me like, I want them to maybe have a little bit of an experience for this of themselves, but it takes it takes a while to begin to understand that it's actually literal. So I always give a kind of double vision of it. It's like, what's the value, even if you can't go there with me? So that's something I always try to do. So I just want to preface it with that, like in the class, I do that, but elsewhere, I do. I'm like, well, like, for instance, if you don't believe in reincarnation, which is something that I'll probably bring up in this course, like, what would be the value of believing in it, even if you didn't believe in it? What could bring to you in your life if you accept it? So that to me is important.
Starting point is 00:42:07 But when we talk about those beings, just I think the easiest way to visualize it is to think, you know, well, I mean, there's a midnight gospelsy thing, but like, it's just just to imagine a fairy tale, like someone walking through the fairy market as soon as they stop at one stall and take that apple from that little goblin, like they're there for a hundred years, you know, like everything else is worrying and buzzing around them, but they're just that's that's a great image of it. Right, that's so cool. Yeah, I mean, I wonder if you could immediately what comes to mind is one of my favorite stories from the New Testament. Jesus and the disciples go to this island.
Starting point is 00:42:52 There's this lunatic living in a graveyard. Everyone's afraid of him. They try to chain him down, but he breaks the chains. And this is God knows this has been like putting a million exorcism movies but Jesus goes to talk to this poor human and he says we are Legion, we are Legion. Like you know in in applying it's not just one demon in there. It's a hive of demons. Jesus then does some form of exorcism, sends the demons into the pigs, into some poor farmers freaking pigs. Not cool. Pigs run off the cliff. All of them die. And leaving the pig farmer fucked. And so then I think they kind of have to like flee the island. Because like people, though they're glad the lunatic has been exercise. They're like, Hey, what about our pigs?
Starting point is 00:43:47 And he was like, See, yeah, I'm not getting you more pigs. So is that from the Christian mysticism perspective is that in other words, whenever I've heard that, I've always thought, Oh, those are demons. But it feels like what you're saying is no, we all have spirits in us. Every one of us is possessed by not one, but many, a plethora of entities. Yeah, I mean, let me just,
Starting point is 00:44:19 let me see what I can do with that. Like, in that case, there was a demon thing happening. Demons aren't singular. They're, yes, they are congregants that become so overwhelming for one reason or another. And it's different whenever that they speak collectively. The eye, the ego is something that is singularly human. So for a demon can't even really access that too much.
Starting point is 00:44:52 It can by sort of directing or coercing the person that it's inhabiting. But if a demon is going to speak through someone and its voice, it's going to be a week, because it's a congregation that's to come together to overwhelm. But for us, creepy. For us with all the sort of beings that are mean, no, those aren't demonic and that's not possession. In fact, everything is made out of these beings. Our bodies, our organs, everything is this interlocking, because this is what I said, evolving states of consciousness. This inner working, inner weaving spiritual world
Starting point is 00:45:34 that composes and maintains all of us all the time, happening even now as we speak, and we're creating more as we speak. Like, if you could just see the room filling up with them, you know, we'd have no room in like two seconds because our concepts, our words, our interactions, the letters that make up the words of the concepts that we're saying, the gestures, the feelings,
Starting point is 00:45:57 it's all just like a constant adding machine, you know? So it's like when you shake up carbonated soda, all the bubbles, it's like those freaking things. I know, I know the ones are, I mean, I've seen them on mushrooms, like all the centers, like, what the fuck? They're everywhere. There's so many. It's like, it's amazing. Like, it's, there's, I know, you mean no room, like, it's more than like New York, it's just everywhere. So keep going. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:46:23 Do you know, that's, that's it. So just to say like, we shouldn't mistake the, like just the beans for demonic just because they're being. I mean, our bodies are made out of that. Right. There's an aspect of us that is not that. And that is the true self. That is the true being. Now, that's, I think where Buddhism and, you know,
Starting point is 00:46:44 Western esoteric Christianity would part ways because there are some Buddhism that don't, but there is no self-ultimate. But I say there is a self, and that self is eternal, and everything else dies, everything else goes away. But that self is absolutely eternal and it is never suffering and it is always with us and time itself is not able to contact or touch that. Well, okay, let's talk about that self. Sorry. That self is that an individualized self or a sort of super self that everyone is sharing it. In the same way that Christ was the son of God and God, that's what we're talking
Starting point is 00:47:34 about. That makes I don't think that that actually, I don't think that veers too far away from my understanding. I mean, it's just, it's not like, you know, especially in the world, and you know, if you're raised in capitalism, not knocking capitalism, everyone gets in and not capitalism, like a knocking, but if you're conditioned to believe in like boundaries and fences and walls
Starting point is 00:48:03 and mine and yours, then the moment you contact that thing that you're telling you matter Have any sense of it you want to you want to put a nice Border wall around and say myself yourself whereas it's not really It doesn't really belong to anybody If that's what you're talking about then I think it does align with Buddhism. Yeah, I mean, we are in some ways, we are in some ways completely individuated. And in other ways, we are all united in spirit. The economy actually, it's interesting to bring up capitalism because the economy's an outpicturing of what I'm talking about. The economy is the all.
Starting point is 00:48:47 So the culture is the individual. It's just one person. That's sexuality, art, just your imagination, even science, to some extent, is really an individualized. I'm gonna try this and feel this and observe an experiment. Politics is two or more people. When you're trying the political rights realm, it's how do we
Starting point is 00:49:11 negotiate an equality when two people come together? And then the economy is the all. The economy is everybody, the fraternity. So it's all the breaks and flows, all the resources, all the commons we draw from. And so the economy in some ways is an outpicturing of the reality of the spiritual world where we are all actually interconnected. We are all, but we are individuated as well. So yeah, you know, just to say one of the things that I want people to contact through esoteric Christianity is that truth of the interconnectedness, but it does bring pain and suffering to be able to touch that. And that's hard like who wants to be like I'm going to do spiritual development so I can hurt. That's hard, like who wants to be like, I'm gonna do spiritual development so I can hurt. But it's also hurting to move beyond
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Starting point is 00:51:49 of a website or a domain, but you can try them out for free to make sure they work for you. And I know they will, because they're incredible. Thank you, Squarespace. So, you know, I'm thinking about Rudolf Sainer giving what we would call first responders, emergency aid people, a meditation to work with when they went to meet other people. Because if you're surrounded by bodies, people that have been massacred, blown up, mutilated, if you're surrounded by people who are in extreme harm and you have to help them, you start to absorb and feel that. Like you have to be able to mediate all that.
Starting point is 00:52:49 So here's the meditative verse he gave. As long as you feel pain that I avoid, Christ remains unrecognized. At work in cosmic being, for weak is the spirit that can feel suffering only in its own body. So as soon as I start to access the truth, I begin to also access the pain of the other. Now that is hard to mediate, but I also think that we're experiencing that now. Anyway, we're getting a teeny, teeny tiny out of it. Not the real thing, which is even worse. I've actually experienced someone else's pain.
Starting point is 00:53:42 I began to experience and be able to see, you and I actually talked about this on my show, I was able to see someone else's day through their own eyes. I was experiencing the pain that they were going through, not just my own pain, but theirs. And when that happened, it is, that was just one person and it was screamingly, absolutely unbearable. If you think about all the pain and suffering you've gone through in your life. Now imagine also feeling someone else's from start to finish in their life to wherever they are now.
Starting point is 00:54:10 Now imagine feeling everybody's. So that's actually coming for us. That's opening up in the world. That's going to be an experience that we all have and nobody's really prepared to mediate that. I keep hearing that. Wait, let's talk about that. What is the, this is the second time
Starting point is 00:54:27 and actually in two podcasts, where I've heard a version of this imminent sort of lifting of the boundaries separating us from like true experience. What is that? Where does that come from? Yeah. So think about the interconnectedness that's been opening and opening
Starting point is 00:54:53 since I'll take an arbitrary point because we can go back more than this. But since we went to the moon, so since someone was on the moon, if you believe people went to the moon, since someone was to the moon. So since someone was on the moon, if you believe people went to the moon, since someone was on the moon, and could see the entirety of our existence. So even if no one was on the moon,
Starting point is 00:55:13 we'll just say that picture of the earth is real. Okay, I'll accept that, brother, not you. I mean, I don't know about that. I don't even think about that. It's fucking real. Okay, okay, we got a tab dance around these mother-file. Yes, It's real. I actually don't know. It's one of those things I don't really think about that much. But then I think about it's weird. It's weird that that happened. But yeah, it's real. So. Same, honestly, same. I don't know. I just
Starting point is 00:55:38 wanted to see him a little more. I just keep the heart feel. The cross ties it. I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, I don't think that's real. Okay. So saying the things that no one else will say, the moon landing which we have. Yeah. So since we saw the entirety of existence, that has a spatial existence for human beings,
Starting point is 00:56:05 that's been growing and growing as a phenomenon in our lives. That has a spatial existence for human beings. That's been growing and growing as a phenomenon in our lives. I mean, you could see that just in the expansion of how many people are we connected to. Then definitely during COVID and lockdowns, it was like, I'm sitting alone in my house in one room and I'm thinking about the entirety of experience of everybody else on the planet and what they're going through and how we might affect each other.
Starting point is 00:56:27 That's growing and growing and growing and the internalization of the awareness of the other has been growing in us like a new form of consciousness. And it's not stopping. It's not stopping. It's not stopping. And so now we're beginning at, you know, certainly social media is also an expression of that, the news, the non-stop news cycle is an expression of that, but no one can escape anymore. I mean, if anybody has paid any attention to anything, but it's like, where do I go to like get away? And let me just bring that back to the economy picture I was saying before. People, even people who are completely so wealthy that they could kind of extract themselves from all the news and all the things that were happening.
Starting point is 00:57:20 When there were lockdowns, they still experienced limitation and a brushing up against the other. Now, there are probably a few people in the universe in the world whose money is not, whose wealth is not measured by money, who probably weren't affected at all. But even the ultra wealthy had to go through all kinds of hoops that they never had to go through before. They saw what was happening. They probably knew some people who died. I'm not equating their suffering with the people who, you know, had 10 family members living in one house and like nine of them died or something like that. I'm just saying that altering of how we're all connected that happened then was massive. It also affected because it was massive, it affected the economic realm,
Starting point is 00:58:06 which is why money in some ways is all fucked up right now as well, because the idea that money was your ticket out of being connected to the all, connected to everybody has been cancelled. That doesn't work anymore. So now that faith in the economic realm has been shaken and is trying to find its new form right now. Okay, this is, I think another way to put it would be, I don't care how, like if you're in a swimming pool and there's an area of the swimming pool reserved
Starting point is 00:58:37 for the elites, if I shit and shallow in, they're still shit in the pool, baby. That's right. That's bad. You gotta get out. It's the way it is. That's what you're talking about. We're all in the swimming pool.
Starting point is 00:58:55 It doesn't matter if you have some fancies out of the pool. We are all connected. I feel like what you're saying is there was a time, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, this is a, this is an Olympus, a planet-sized swimming pool. And I guess what you're saying is, yeah, pretty soon we're going to start realizing it's a universe, it's a universe-sized swimming pool, maybe like that. Right. And that is going to, if that's going to hurt, if you, if you have the impression that you're going to be okay, yeah, that you have some parts of the clean in the water, you
Starting point is 00:59:44 know, like, yeah, and there's a sewer, you know, sewer pipe, like leaking into it. You know, yeah, there are some people who have, I suppose there are a few people here and there whose wealth is not just a version of being, you know, farther down on the deep or shallow end, but it there. Yeah, but yeah, yeah. But most people I got you, man. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:07 So, okay, so this isn't evolving. What we're looking at here, this is sort of like something, a process that is unfolding right now and becoming impossible to ignore. Yeah, I mean, it's what we should go through. I'm glad we're going through it. You know, there's a lot that's happening. I mean, this connection to each other through spirit is, I mean, it's quite incredible. And it can and will be beautiful, but we have to figure out
Starting point is 01:00:41 how much suffering we want to deal with before we access that aspect of it And I think most people right one of the reasons why I'm teaching the course why I talk about any of the things I talk about Because I think most people aren't remotely ready so things end up being extremely like traumatizing shock to them after shock after shock after shock and And then what a lot of spiritual people do to deal with that is just pretend it's not real and do like a what is that a bite of Vidanta is that what you call that like stream of everything's perfect everything's energy everything's energy I don't call it like that. You don't get that. I know. I mean, you can say everything's perfect.
Starting point is 01:01:27 If you're some enlightened super being in, but when they're saying everything's perfect, they don't mean like there's fucking unicorns bringing cool-aid babies that heal them. They're saying even within what you're talking about, there's a form of perfect, people equate perfection with pleasure or perfection with no pain,
Starting point is 01:01:48 perfection with no death, perfect, but no. So no, I know you mean, like that spiritual bypass, right? You like, you say, essentially everything per, everything's perfect is either holy fuck fuck you're enlightened and you've absorbed some total of all suffering and you are then spontaneously declaring that or you're saying that the way people pull a blanket over their head. Everything's perfect while someone like a murderer comes into your house with a butcher knife. Everything's perfect.
Starting point is 01:02:20 Everything's perfect. So there's two different versions of what you're talking about. Yeah. And then there are people who can be completely calm through anything because they're psychopaths You know, so like they've actually like detached themselves from you know a sense of being Or maybe not detached the mayor. They're born into the same carnation like that and they're on phase because they have no feeling But those people will just easily, you know come and slit your throat and you know kill you shoot you in the face Whatever so yeah, and that's that's actually part of I think what's feeling, but those people will just easily come and slit your throat and kill you, shoot you in the face whatever. That's actually part of what's happening is people are finding some sort of a lure either
Starting point is 01:02:54 to shutting down as much as they can, which won't work, eventually it won't work, or training themselves into psychopathy. Yeah. Whoa, now that, by the way, now that you mentioned that, guys, I'm giving a class, it's called training yourself in a psychopathy. If you don't want to take my old roommates and feel every fucking thing,
Starting point is 01:03:22 why would you want to do that? I will numb you down. So you know what? So it's like, I think, you know, Christianity, everybody thinks the crucifixion is over. And it feels like what you're saying is this, the crucifixion didn't end. We're talking about an ongoing crucifixion of Christ
Starting point is 01:03:43 showing up in all of the horror that is manifesting in the world. But everyone thinks, you know, oh my God, we know it's done, resurrected. But in this process, since it's like, shit, man, still up there. And we're all standing around. Some of us are like laughing our asses off, some of us are crying, some of us are rolling dice, but it's, we're right, is that, is that the idea? We're, we are at the base of the cross. We are looking at this being and also to make matters worse, we are So to make matters worse, we are that being. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:25 I think that that's, I think it's important to balance all of that because, yeah, the crucifixion is done in a sense. It's done because it was done for us. That transformative experience happened to the entire earth. It was an event that happened to and for everybody on the planet. So you don't have to be Christian to experience the benefits of the resurrection and the crucifixion.
Starting point is 01:05:31 and the crucifixion. This episode of the DTFH has been supported by better help. The holidays are about to sledge hammer many of us into a dark smush of sadness. You know, I actually used to be like that. The holidays would come around and a skeleton-like invisible hand would clinch itself around my neocortex and proclaim my amygdala like a satanic piano. But then I got into therapy and it changed my life. It really did. This was one of the best things that I ever did outside of having kids, psychedelics, and of course, finding out about meditation. It's incredible, it's powerful, and it's nice to balance out your spiritual practice
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Starting point is 01:07:15 So you don't have to be Christian to experience the benefits of the resurrection and the the crucifixion, but that didn't happen just so we could do nothing. You know what I'm like? That happened because it gave us capacities to meet challenges that face us. It's like every time, every time consciousness starts to shift, it's like the video game where the level boss just keeps getting harder and harder, almost seemingly impossible. Like, I don't know how long I do it
Starting point is 01:07:45 until my muscle memory and like understanding of the level I'm on, like allows me to overcome it. And then guess what, there's one after that. And I have to learn like a completely new technique. But every time, you know, like the way my friend, Patrick Kennedy, he's a priest in a Christian community, but he said like, you know, I know we were just talking about my life. I was going through some hardship and he said, you know, I know that God
Starting point is 01:08:12 never gives me something that I can handle. Not that I can't handle, which is what? What like, you know, right? It's like, I love it, right? Right. Because what's the point? Why would God give you something that you can handle? Actually God delivers unto you something that you absolutely can't handle. So you have to turn to him. So that this is by the way you just described hell. Hell is where God only gives you things you can handle.
Starting point is 01:08:40 Right. Exactly. Totally. That's it. Yeah. It's going. I'm sorry to call you out. No, no, I mean, that's it. It's just like we receive things that are absolutely insurmountable. So the way that we contend with them is actually by turning to our spiritual life.
Starting point is 01:09:00 And when we turn to the spiritual life and our spiritual landscape, but people also just don't know how to turn there anymore, which is really unfortunate. I'm not... On the one hand, everybody knows how to turn there, because everybody in their hearts knows the answer. They just do, and the answer is different for everybody, but on the other hand, we don't really know how to get there in the same way that other hand, we don't really know how to get there in the same way that we don't know how to read until we know how to read. I mean, we have a lot to do. And also, a lot of people see spiritual stuff, but they don't know how to read it. And those are two very different skills.
Starting point is 01:09:37 So again, it's something that I am trying to offer out of my own kind of meager failed experience with this kind of stuff, which is nevertheless at least most of a lifetime of trying to contend with that. Yeah, right. Yeah, like the situation of like wandering being lost, the situation of like being so lost, you don't even know you're lost anymore. I mean, that's the saddest thing. Like, at least if you know you're lost, there's like some hope, and I feel what you're saying. It's like, I think some people have become so transfixed by this, by default reality, which is just the temporary, you know, shared assessment of phenomena that they think this is it. This is all there is. This is it. It's such a powerless feeling. It's such a miserable feeling. It's a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really the thing that comes to like shoving me or wake me up or get me untransfixed, I get mad.
Starting point is 01:11:06 Like that's my first response. It's like, fuck you, don't you get it? I'm fucking hanging out with this goblin. I like the goblin. The goblin, you don't like the goblin. Look at his postures. Look at his oozing postures. I love popping that goblin zits.
Starting point is 01:11:20 You know, pop my zits. Don't look at that stupid asshole. Come here. Well, there's another one right here. Yeah, so I like so to me like I think what you what you do Is actually has an element of danger to it in the sense that you you kind of and you mentioned it earlier You kind of have to like make people uncomfortable at first. You kind of have to like, no one likes to be woken up. You know what I mean? Like in what you're talking about
Starting point is 01:11:48 is a methodology of waking people up from this rotten goblin train or whatever you want to put it. Yeah, I mean, like no one wants to discover that the goblin has a hand up their ass that's like moving their mouth like a puppet. You know what I mean mean it's like, like you just think you're like dilated, you know, but then you have to like, then you have to pull it out, you know, it's like and like, I feel that I feel that. Got to hurt.
Starting point is 01:12:19 Especially if you don't know how to pull out of let a hand slide out of your ass man That can be very good A lot of damage our way out. Yeah exactly. Yeah, but that is and also like In in yourself you have to be willing to understand that you might miss things and make mistakes sometimes for a lifetime might miss things and make mistakes. Sometimes for a lifetime, sometimes for an incarnation, you're gonna fuck that. And you have to be willing to see that and also not willing to give into it. I mean, it's really not easy. Being human is
Starting point is 01:12:59 the hardest thing for, and it's the hardest thing to do in like the universe really, it's really, really hard. So first of all, that also can bring a lot of forgiveness and compassion to others when I realize that. Nobody comes here with an easy ticket ever. So I think, I think when you're telling people things that are uncomfortable, like you said, when you're confronting them with, you know, I'm going to maybe, I don't want to see remove your illusions because I think that that's like the way that very materialistically oriented and conspiracy theorists people talk like, like, she blew it. Red poo baby.
Starting point is 01:13:46 Yeah, and I don't, first of all, I don't, I'm not like in any of those people because they're so, they're materialists. So it's like, to me, I'm just like, you're just rearranging the pieces like that's of no interest to me. What's the truth? Which is something much different. But yeah, it becomes extremely uncomfortable. Like, like right now, I'm trying to mostly talk with people about peace. That is not easy. Right now, I'm trying to talk with people about accessing like real love and peace and compassion, that's not an easy thing to do
Starting point is 01:14:27 because you're confronting and being confronted with all kinds of information and anger and you know social constructs. The other thing I'll say is also when people try to think their way out of a situation as I, with the options that are available to them, they often also think that they're doing something very radical just by choosing the other side. So, like, capitalism, capitalism, capitalism. Now the capitalism has entered the lexicon of like a popular way of talking about economy, actually talking about politics, but thinking they're talking about economy, it's like, then they're like, well, socialism, socialism's it.
Starting point is 01:15:07 And that is way more radical because they've moved a centimeter and the moving is very hard, but the distance isn't far. So, they're actually just a set. Capitalism and socialism are a set. And if you move from one to the other, it is actually a radical move because you've completely shifted your perspective, but that doesn't mean that they're radical alternatives. And I know that people, now everybody hates me for saying that. Oh, you did.
Starting point is 01:15:40 I know, but I will. There's a there's a esoteric version of socialism, which I do think is important. And I do think everybody needs to go through. And we all need to encounter that. And that is a real radical shift, which is I'm going to look around like the simplest way of saying it is I look around the room. I look at the floor, the books, the door, the wall, the ceiling, and all of those came from someone's labor and materials that were brought from the earth, and effort, and pain, and strength. And as soon as I start to actually encounter that in my heart, that actually is, I think,
Starting point is 01:16:17 a real, that's a real basis for understanding a true living socialism that we can help each other with. But that's not the same thing. It's just turning the dial on how we handle things economically, you know. Well, you're okay. It's like capitalism is one pillow. Socialism is the other pillow. It's like in the middle of the night when your pillow gets too high. You switch pillows. Now I'm dead. You're still asleep. You just got a new pillow. And it's going to be cool for a little bit, but then it heats up. And then not don't, I'm going to do a whole podcast on this.
Starting point is 01:16:53 Like, we'll destroy our lives. But, you know, what, what, in the conversation of socialism, I like to think about the meta-capitalism that shows up in the announcement of being a socialist, that in the announcement of being a socialist, there's all this currency that you accrue from the announcement. So weirdly capitalism shows up in the conversation about socialism as a meta level of the whatever the particular alignment that you're doing. There's an actual value that shows up in a different form of currency, but currency, that's another podcast.
Starting point is 01:17:29 So, but wait, this is super cool because to me, what's very exciting about what we always talk about, and what you remind me of, which I inevitably forget, is that you don't know all the options and the more you think you know the options, the more it's like you're shutting yourself down, you're closing yourself off, and you're constricting yourself
Starting point is 01:17:57 into a kind of nightmare situation. That, that, that, that, and I love that, just like that moment of like, oh my God, I'm free. Because that, that it feels, that's and I love that. Just like that moment of like, oh my God, I'm free. Because that, that it feels, that's what it feels like you're saying is like, you're free as a bird. You are so free. You don't have to, you don't have to be in the,
Starting point is 01:18:18 in the world that you're in. As you understand it, whoa, man, that is so, that makes my heart flutter. But it still scares me for some reason. It scares? Yeah. Well, the, I mean, the, the reflexive response to that, especially now that I've said something about socialism,
Starting point is 01:18:36 which, let me just also say that I definitely feel much more affinity with the politics and economy and socialism and capitalism. Hold on, let me stop you there. I can see what's on your bookshelf, guys. I definitely feel much more affinity with the politics and economy and socialism and capitalism. Hold on, let me stop you there. I can see what's on your bookshelf, guys. It's all iron, man. It's like 17 copies of the fountain head.
Starting point is 01:18:55 Yeah, okay, right. Yeah, exactly. What the fuck? Yeah, exactly. What the fuck? Um, I just think it have like a fountain made out of like copies of the fountain head. I think that would be really fucking beautiful. I mean, it's blood. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:19:16 Exactly. Blood fountain. I look, I, I think like, we have to be careful when we have that freeing feeling that we don't stop there. Now, that's the accusation that socialists and other leftists generally make against spirituality, and they're right. They're right about that. They're right about, oh, you know, people just want to feel free. They want to feel, they want to feel liberated, but not actually be liberated. Now, I think that that might be a little short-sighted, because sometimes feeling liberated is enough to actually liberate you. But I do think that that's a real concern.
Starting point is 01:20:07 And I think, I mean, I think I'm fortunate that you can level that against anything, and you probably should level it against most things, where it's like, you know, if you want something like universal basic income, you have to want it for like a second so you can get rid of it and move to the next thing. Like you always want to be trying to do something better instead of keeping things in stasis. So what does that look like? So that's why, that's why in my course, but no, it really is why anthroposophy is so interesting to me as a spiritual path or as a spiritual approach because it's had all these initiatives that have come out of it. So it's not just that people are doing spiritual development, although that is where the real side of action is,
Starting point is 01:20:56 but it's also that Waldorf schools have come out of it. It's also that biodynamic agriculture has come out of it and camp hill communities. It's that someone had decided, you know, Rudolph Steinr basically, because people asked him, was like, I'm going to try to bring forward these initiatives into the world. I'm gonna try to create a different world with my understanding of spirituality. And there are lots of people who are geniuses
Starting point is 01:21:20 and one way or another who have tried to do these sorts of things, whether it's Leonardo da Vinci or Phil Hamreich or, you know, who tried to bring forward into different realms of the social organism, what they saw in a concrete kind of working form. So that's why I think that all that's very important. Like I've said, the course is introduction Rudolfstner and the Western esoteric tradition.
Starting point is 01:21:52 And I keep saying, you know, esoteric Christianity, because some of the other esoteric Christian thinkers are just as important to me as Rudolfstiner, Dos Gloss, and Peter Dunov, in particular, are quite important to me. But the initiatives, I think, are something that shows us some direction and gives us some hope. Like, we could actually do everything completely differently. And, you know, Rudolph Schneiner is like Alistair Crowley, good people
Starting point is 01:22:20 of the anthropologists would lose their mind to me, even say in the same rep. But like these are two people whose influence has so permeated the world that we don't actually even think of how profound and curly was one path. And it mostly permeated Hollywood and entertainment actually through Scientology and Elrond Hubbard and the Beaterife and so on and so forth. And the sort of magical world of commanding the spiritual world. We're a Steiner's contribution, moved into trying to renew all kinds of aspects of our lives, education and agriculture and religion and even dance and all these other aspects. It shows up again and again and again.
Starting point is 01:23:05 And people just don't know that that's what it is. I mean, I named all those people, but then it's like, you even have things like, Jarr are token and CS Lewis were really influenced by this guy at Womens Bar field to work with them. So Russ Snyder's like, getting into all of that. Like Jennifer Aniston and Steve John Stevens went to Waldorf schools.
Starting point is 01:23:24 I mean, I don't know how they think about that experience, right? But it's gotten in, you know, and so this primation through, yeah, through the initiatives is really important. And that's part of why I'm just bringing that caveat against, well, we don't just stop there when we think of the options. We begin to develop them. And you can't develop it on your own. You have to meet with other people and begin to develop them. And you can't develop it on your own. You have to meet with other people and try to develop them together. Well, let's imagine you're in prison.
Starting point is 01:23:50 I show up to your prison, I say, Connor, even though you talk shit about socialism, you're letting me, and that's why you're here. And that's why you're here for 20 years. We've actually commuted your sentence, you're gonna be let out of prison. Now, I tell you that that's the for that's the liberate. That's the feeling of liberation.
Starting point is 01:24:12 Holy shit. I'm going to be out of prison. But then you still have to walk out of prison or you're still in prison. You can't just stay in prison pretending you're not there because you feel you know that you're there's a possibility of getting out and and that that is You know, I think the sand trap of a lot of new age self-help Self-development stuff is that the sand trap is you do realize oh my god I'm free. There is the possibility for me to be anything I want Untether myself from all the conditioning live in a Unimaginable world because the world I live in an unimaginable world, because the
Starting point is 01:24:45 world I'm in is one that I've imagined based on past habits and indoctrination. And that's where you stop. You're like, great, cool. I'm going to stay in my current imagined world. It sounds like the radical thing about what you're talking about. And I think you could argue for Crowley too, is both of them have within them, and but you do, you gotta do it.
Starting point is 01:25:10 It's not enough to know where the subway is. You gotta get on the subway. And in this case, it sounds like what you're saying is, Steiner was intentionally trying to transform was intentionally trying to transform the world for the better. And there's proof in what has come out of his teachings. The world has transformed. Things are different. He created earth-shaking change, which means that if you're one of his students, that means that it's not
Starting point is 01:25:47 enough to just feel good, right? There's an action here. It's a verb. Totally. Yeah, I love that way of putting it. And I think it's, you know, we'll just turn that critique back on anybody in the political realm as such, like people voted for Joe Biden. And we're like dancing in the streets when he, are they dancing now? You know, like they were dancing in the streets when he won the election. Are they dancing now? Like people, you know, try to institute all kinds of social change, whether it's like I said, universal basic income or gay marriage or things that people believe will be these like completely changing Initiatives and then they and they stop As soon as they get them and that's also not good enough. So
Starting point is 01:26:36 That's actually one of the problems with a Lot of people who are working in Anthroposophy and we've been around China They are like they want to refer everything back to the time when he existed and everything that he said and all the niches without changing them. So there are people bringing that work forward and that's what's the most important to me. And that's why way back in the beginning when we started talking, I kind of
Starting point is 01:27:00 resisted. I was like, well, I don't even know if I would say I'm an anthroposophist or a dinerian or something like that because I want to bring it forward. I want to keep working with it and bring it into the world today. Actually, now I'm going to refer to him. He has this like lecture where he says something like, kind of messed up the quilt, but it was something like if the Sistine Chapel were you know painted today, we should rightfully laugh at it for being inadequate. It's like, it's not meeting the time. Like, even the most beautiful thing has to meet the time spirit has to meet, you know,
Starting point is 01:27:33 where we are now and the beings that are present with us and their aims as well. So, you know, I think this also has resolved a lot of the critiques of Anthroposophy, which are, say, it's outdated or a product of its time or confused or, you know what I think this also resolved a lot of the critiques of Anthroposophy, which are say it's outdated or a product of its time or Confused or you know, I mean, it's like I don't It's not that's not interesting to me. I want to bring forward what's valuable from it and keep moving and there are lots of people doing that but unfortunately
Starting point is 01:28:01 One not enough people know about what Anthroposophy and the Western esoteric tradition embody and it is and two, the people that really do know, a lot of them are actually holding it back from growth. So it's not, you know, some people have to take up this mantle and try to work with what's there and bring it forward. You know, so I'm trying to do that. It sounds very egotistical, but... No, it doesn't. Yeah. It doesn't sound egotistical to me at all.
Starting point is 01:28:32 At all. It sounds really exciting and authentically liberating and disturbing in the best way possible. You know, good disturbing. Get that goblins hand out of your ass. That's how you play. See what other kind of fisting is happening at this market that we're at.
Starting point is 01:28:54 Connor, I'm so happy to have you as my friend. I love chatting with you. Yet again, you have freaked me out, blow my mind. And I hope that I hope that people listening who feel the call will take your class because it sounds like a nice diving board into something that I I think would benefit a lot of people. So how do they sign up for this thing? Yeah it's pretty easy so I just have a like a square site where they can sign up.
Starting point is 01:29:26 So my podcast is against everyone with Connor Abbey, so you can remember it's AEWCH against everyone with Connor Abbey, which I'll also spend a witch, AEWCH.square.site. And the tickets are there. There's tier. There's one for 25, one for 40, one for 75. That's really mostly just a sliding scale. You get a little extra stuff here and there, but I want
Starting point is 01:29:50 people to pay what they feel they can pay. And it's on December, it's on December 2nd, Saturday, December 2nd at nine o'clock AMPST, noon EST, and then five o'clock, double in time, where I live. And it's just on line. I'm just going to lead you through some stuff. There's an extra Q&A that you can sign up for if you want as well, where you can, well, there'll be lots of discussion because I'm going to run people through some exercises and we'll talk about it if you want to, you don't have to. But then there'll be a Q&A for questions that are completely unrelated, like when people want to ask, like, what did Steiner think about honeybees or you know
Starting point is 01:30:25 Like that kind of stuff we can we can talk about that sort of stuff afterward if people want Guys, just you know, I'm gonna do this as a little like I feel like it's like I have friends Where if they offer me weed to eat I cut it into fourths That's when he says he's when I say when his friends is this is living LSD. I'm telling you. I don't even know what's gonna happen during the class. But like I'm not being hyperbolic when I say think
Starting point is 01:30:58 about that exercise that one exercise you did with me. Once a week, it just comes back into my mind. So I don't know what a day is a mega dose. So great. And all the links you need to connect to sign up for this are gonna be at drattrustle.com if you can't remember that website, Connor. What a joy. I can't wait to come out to Ireland with a fam.
Starting point is 01:31:26 Hang out. I know, man. I know. And every time we talk, I just, I'm glad we have podcasts because it means we can talk. Because we should talk more. But I always know that this will come around if we wait long enough. Because I love you.
Starting point is 01:31:41 And it's great to see you. Love you. How do you appreciate it? Thank you, Connor. Bye, everyone. Howdy Christian, thank you Connor. Bye everyone. That was Connor a Beef Everybody. Again, it's Connor a Beef.com. If you wanna sign up for a cult philosophies and intro to Rudolph Steiner
Starting point is 01:31:56 in the Western Esoteric tradition, I hope you will. Subscribe to my Patreon. It's patreon.com. For it's like DTFH and bless you, my dear sponsors for supporting this podcast and my family and come see me on my dates are at DuncanTrustle.com. There's going to be one more podcast this week and then I'm going to be out for two weeks to spend some much needed time with my family and my mistress. I'll see you later on in the week.
Starting point is 01:32:27 Until then, I love you. Goodbye. you

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