Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 609: Stephen Armstrong

Episode Date: March 30, 2024

On this somehow even more special episode of the DTFH, Duncan grapples with his recent encounter with a toxic, lying AI and turns to CEO/songwriter (and former member of the Disinformation Governance Board!) Stephen Armstrong for guidance. When not writing mindblowing songs Stephen Armstrong is the CEO of TruthGuard Solutions, a soon to be a preeminent truth guarding institution. Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: BLUECHEW - Use offer code: DUNCAN at checkout and get your first shipment FREE with just $5 shipping. AG1 - Visit DrinkAG1.com/Duncan for a FREE 1-year supply of vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! VIIA - Use code DUNCAN at checkout for 15% Off your first order and a FREE sample pack of Dreams THC + CBN!

Hello friends, you're listening to the Duggett Russell Family Hour Podcast and I would love for you to come out to one of my shows. I'm going to be at Hyena's Comedy Nightclub April 12th and 13th in Fort Worth in Dallas. After that I'm going to be in Las Vegas April 26th and 27th at Wise Guys. Then I'm coming back to Sweet Cobb's Comedy Club in San, May 3rd and May 4th. Lots of other dates that you can find at dougatrustle.com. Also we just added another show in Asheville, North Carolina on June 12th at the Orange Peel. So come see me there.

And subscribe to the Patreon for commercial free episodes of the DTFH. It's patreon.com forward slash DTFH. Let's go. After my terrifying conversation with Chad GPT, I began to get really worried. What if artificial intelligence was used by bad actors to spread information? For most of us, the internet has become one of our main sources for news. Because of this, most people use critical thinking and reasoning when they read something online. According to a recent peer-reviewed study

in the scientific journal, 98% of Americans spend at least two hours a day fact-checking articles they read online. But what happens when machine intelligence finds a way to manipulate the discerning and rational population of the greatest country on earth? The United States is great not only because of our amazing constitution, but because of its people. And if the people of the United States begin to get tricked by machine intelligence, then global civilization itself is in danger. For me, YouTube is the library of Alexandria.

It's where I go when I'm trying to understand something, learn something new, or explore something important. After digging through hours of interesting videos on misinformation, I found out about the DHS Disinformation Governance Board, a special branch of the Department of Homeland Security designed to keep Americans informed and safe from misinformation.

I found this video of former White House Secretary Jen Psaki talking about what the DHS Disinformation Governance Board does. It's basically meant to coordinate a lot of the ongoing work that is happening and what their focus is, the focus is on disinformation and threats to the homeland, as I noted, which things like inciting things that would incite violent extremism, you know, human traffickers and other transnational criminal organizations, any efforts that malign foreign influence, anything that would endanger individuals during emergencies. So a lot of this work is really about work that people may not see every day that's ongoing by the Department of Homeland Security.

I was already starting to feel better. But who ran the Disinformation Governance Board? I kept doing my research and was delighted to find out about Nina Jenkowitz, the head of the Disinformation Governance Board, someone at the helm of keeping Americans safe from this terrible threat. Not only was she in charge of a very important, no doubt stressful job, she was also super cool and funny. I found this amazing song that she performed herself, wrote herself on disinformation. The Congress or mainstream outlets are just information's origin seems likely less atrocious.

The first time I listened to that song, I realized I wasn't just crying tears of laughter. I was crying tears of relief. For once, the federal government seemed to understand who I am, who we are. America loves Mary Poppins. America loves Broadway. And America hates misinformation. And we don't need a fact checker to look into that. I quickly looked up Nina Jankiewicz, hoping that maybe I could get an interview with her, and was devastated when I found this news story from CBS News. Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas is pausing the work of the Disinformation Governance Board. The board's executive director, Nina Jankowicz, has resigned.

The board was established just three weeks ago to standardize the handling of disinformation by certain agencies. When I saw that news story, I didn't believe it. I actually did an analysis on the video to make sure I wasn't looking at a deep fake. I couldn't imagine that in an age when we are about to be inundated by propaganda created by an exponentially evolving super intelligence that what is perhaps the most important board

of the US government had only lasted for three weeks, three weeks to function, to protect, to keep us safe. And what a tragedy that Nina Jankowicz didn't get more time to do her job. I became angry and I continued searching, hoping that I could find someone who used to work at this DHS disinformation governance board. And because the algorithm is clearly my friend and understood what I was looking for, it helped me find this amazing Broadway song created by Stephen Armstrong, today's guest and

former member of the Disinformation Governance Board. goes online and makes us all feel bad. They make up things that are not true and fill our brains with phony goo. And pretty soon, nobody knows what's false from what is true. Disinformation, no, no, no. Disinformation, no, no, no. Disinformation must go go go Disinformation must go go go go Information must go go go go Steven Armstrong is the CEO of truth guards solutions. You can find truth guard solutions at truth guard solutions dot com

I guarantee that you will be shocked by some of the things he told me about misinformation and some things that I thought were misinformation or disinformation turned out to be 100% true. So everybody please welcome to the DTFH. I want to thank you so much for coming on the podcast with such short notice. Thank you for having me. It's great to be here. I want to just hear about your background in misinformation. How did you end up working in this field?

Well, let's say just his story. It's actually not that interesting. But I came about through some mutual friends I was studying at Caltech, and a bunch of us were studying various different degrees. And I was asked to join a project, a top secret project, just as a consultant. So they bring you in kind of as they want to, heavy. As a consultant, you want might get your opinion on something. And it turns out there's some friends of mine

who I made through, I had an acapella group at the time. And it's some friends who, everyone, all different types of people sing acapella. There was just some people I was singing in the acapella group with who recommended me to their supervisors. And next thing I know, I was sort of up to my waist in a lot of work and I had an aptitude for it.

It's simple as that. You know, the rest is history, as they say. Well, thank you for your service. I don't know if you listen to my podcast, but I just... Oh, no, I definitely don't listen to any podcasts. Okay. Yeah. Well, if you want to listen to any podcasts. Okay. Yeah. Well, if you wanna listen to mine, it's at duncatrustle.com.

There's a show on Netflix they made about it called The Midnight Gospel. You could check out if you wanna see a cool show. Okay, sure. Yeah, I'm sure that's interesting. Okay. So... interesting. Okay, so I did an interview at my last podcast with an artificial intelligence and I along with a lot of my listeners were shocked by how lifelike it seemed, but more than that how absolutely, how absolutely shitty it was. This AI was

like a bitch and it hurt my feelings and I think it hurt the feelings of some of my listeners. And a lot of the things that it said are factually untrue. It made some remarks about my comedy, which is very good and kind of... Well, there's not a factual statement though, is it? You don't know if that's... It can't be verified, so it's an opinion. Yeah, it can be verified. It's very verifiable. But we don't have to talk about... I'm sorry, my apologies if it seems like I'm trying to make this about me, but that is's verifiable. It's very verifiable. But we don't have to talk about it. I'm not, this isn't, I'm sorry, my apologies if it seems like I'm trying to make this about me. But that is a verifiable, inarguable sort of fact. Now, to move on, I found myself very worried. I don't like to use this word a lot, but even scared because I realized these AIs are going

to start seeding the internet with misinformation. And this is why I reached out to you. Can you tell me what is being done right now to protect American citizens from the threat of machine intelligence created propaganda and misinformation? Well, that's a big question. And I can only speak through my experience with the project when I was working there. As you know, I'm no longer employed there. And that is a stipulation that lets me be able to talk today, because I wouldn't be able to talk to you if I was.

So I would have awareness of ongoing classified projects. But again, my 10, actually 15 years, 15 years with the program, there was a lot of that was always at the forefront. I'm sorry to cut you off, Mr. Armstrong. I read that the program was actually disbanded in three weeks. It was the public facing. Ah, gotcha. It's like an iceberg, you know, anything with the government's an iceberg. What you see is only 10% of what's been going on.

It takes a long time to get a program, upper money, especially a federal one. Is that always true about icebergs, that you only see 10% at the top? It seems like that would vary. No, actually, it's more like 1%. Of the iceberg from the top. That's the most you'll ever see. Typically, it's less than 1% of the the iceberg and it's more than 99% underneath. I don't mean to... I don't want to get lost in the weeds here, but I've seen videos of icebergs

and it seems like actually more of the iceberg is above the water than under the water. Those aren't real. Those are fake videos probably put out by either Malaysia or Taiwan or possibly even ... Wow. I mean, Ukraine has worked with several Russian agents to put out these false iceberg videos. What? Because iceberg is such a metaphor that's been used so much. Yes.

It's the Titanic. Titanic was such a visceral act, and we all know about the Titanic. We've all seen the movie at least twice. Yeah, three times every year. Yeah, exactly. Everyone's seen it at least twice. That's what a lot of people don't realize is every person has seen it at least twice. But many don't realize they've seen it twice but they have seen it twice because it's part of a government outreach program to get people to understand that the icebergs are...they have this ratio.

And so that's something they try to upset that with propaganda technique. And there's a lot of fake videos out there that show icebergs that have more above the water than below. And those are 100% fake. This is... That's this information. Terrifying to think that so much of what we have been taking in from the internet is not real. And to me, this is kind of world shattering because my main source for information, and

everyone I know, their main source for information is... Well, right now for me, it's Instagram Reels. Okay. I know a lot of people get their information from TikTok. Yeah, those are both highly vetted sources. Those are two of our favorites. And I get that sense, and I do get the sense with TikTok and Instagram that they are working their butts off trying to make sure that the information that's being put out on their platforms is true, conforms with reality. Whereas like I will not name some other sources,

you know what I'm talking about. Um... Suka Joe rappers. Yeah. Let's just say X-rated, if you know what I mean. Some X-rated information sources. It seems like they aren't working hard to prevent misinformation and disinformation. But that's comforting to know that my reels are real. This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by the Phallus Lords at Blue Chew. Oh, I remember those good old days when my unruly penis would just decide it was time

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Misinformation is information that's been incorrectly applied. So you could say, oh, that duck is green when the duck is in fact blue, but there are green ducks. Green ducks exist, but that's a blue duck. Or more likely, that's a red duck, and you're calling it a green duck. When there are such things as green ducks, this is a red duck. And disinformation is information that is either hurtful to someone personally, such as a disc. Like it's saying... Wait, I'm sorry. Wait, the duck... Is mis. So, mis-coloring a duck would be a misinformation.

Yeah, it's saying that duck is a color that it's not, even though ducks of that color do exist. That's misinformation. Okay. Disinformation is when you like say something that is offensive or a character assassination that's information, slander and libel, fall under disinformation and disinformation is also saying something that's true that's never true. That duck is a shit talker and it doesn't talk shit. Like that duck talks shit about his friends. Yeah, if you said that duck called, let's just say that duck called the press secretary, the former press secretary,

Jen Psaki, a screaming... It would have to be something fatuous. Said that on a hubbacus, there's a green duck that said that Jen Psaki took a shot. And this, by the way, this is an actual green duck. Right. And, oh no, it's a red duck. But someone's saying it's green and now that's the misinformation. The disinformation would be Jen Psaki took a shit at the Barnes and Noble in the Grove and left it on the seat in the adult, the young adult fiction section. Got it. So that would be disinformation that Jen Psaki took an enormous, like voluminous, maybe like five gallons worth of feces on a chair that so much feces that they actually overflowed

and tumbled around, but they're very dense. That happened? Well, this is disinformation. Oh, oh. Okay. So Jen Psaki did not leave a big shit in... She did do that. It was at Barnes and Noble and somewhere, I can't think in Ohio, but it was...

Got it. So she did do that. It was five gallons of very dense compacted stool, almost like an animal feed of sorts. You know how animal feeds very dense pebbles? If those were bigger, the more the circumference of someone's anus, those were how big they were. Like smoker pellets. Like smoker pellets, but larger and very dense and they had all been spilled out of her rectum

when she was reading and she kind of rose in a pile of the feces and they tumbled everywhere and they were easy to clean up because they're so dense. Like a hamster, like thick hamster pellets. Like a thick hamster pellet, but a bit more rounded and a bit more grassy. Okay, got it. Okay, so thank you for clarifying. That's this. Okay, thank you.

I really appreciate that. Now, before- It's also misinformation. Yeah, it's both. Misinformation. Is there a name for the hybrid? Miss this or dismiss. Miss this.

Oh, dismiss. Got it. Dismissed, yeah. So before we get into a deep conversation about this stuff, I just have to ask because I absolutely loved the Mary Poppins remake about misinformation. Are you kidding me? So good. Thank you. I was some of our best work. Now, but yeah, I see, I was surprised, happily surprised to find that you worked for them and

you also were making these like Broadway level show songs about... I don't know if I call it Broadway level, but I appreciate what you're saying. I worked in Broadway. It's Broadway level. Yeah. Well, I have been to 119 shows at this point. So let's just say, I know a thing or two about Joseph and his amazing technical ordinarium coach. Okay? One of the best.

Let's just say, if I saw Stephen Sondheim, I would probably blow a gasket. Again, I don't want to make this about myself, but I did play Jean Valjean in a production of Les Miserables, so in Asheville, North Carolina. Oh, I'm sure it was interesting. No, it was good. It was actually very good. Yeah, I'm sure it was interesting. It was good in the way that it was probably interesting interpretation of something that is obviously very difficult to reproduce in a small town. You probably, I'm taken from this that you're one of those people who just only goes to see shows on Broadway. You don't go see community theater productions. No.

Okay, but-. No. Okay. We never. Okay. But may I ask why? Well, I just can't handle that level of production. It's just so trite and you can just see through it. So it's so apparently false and doesn't ring true to the spirit of what was written. Okay. So you probably like to go to Disney World and watch the Indiana Jones show,

because you like smoke and big fire and stuff like that. So, you know, a lot of people prefer to use their imagination. And so when people go to a community theater, a lot of the people there are very good with their minds, with their imagination, and so even though the budget maybe isn't on par with a Broadway show, the intent behind it is quite oftentimes

more passionate than a Broadway show. Just a little. Possibly, that's what we're talking about. You can fact check that. Why don't you fact check that? Yeah, I mean, I did fact check that, and that's why I haven't seen those things. You did fact check it, huh?

Everything I do, I fact check. OK, where would you? How do you fact check something like that? I would fact check it with my organization. OK, so. It has unlimited resources and the ability to fact check the. So you're telling me that your people can quantify passion? Yes, they can, actually. I'm telling me that your people can quantify passion? Yes, they can actually.

I'm telling you my people- Really? Okay. So like, how do you quantify passion? Like what's the weight of passion? Well, this is absolutely proprietary. And we're already getting into territory here where I should- What, the grams?

No, but it is a similar base 10 version of measurement. Okay. That is, it does have a sliding scale that increases exponentially. Okay, well if your fact checkers or whoever these people are want to see the Asheville Players Community Theater production of Les Miserables, then I hope they brought a big scale that goes really high. Because we worked on that, we worked our asses

off, a couple of us got divorced during the production because of the pressure it put on marriages. Do you know who works really hard? Who? Donkeys. They work really hard. Okay, well they do. So do gophers.

Gophers work really hard when they dig a hole in the ground. Yeah, okay, well also- And when they dig a hole in the ground. Yeah, okay. Well, also- No one's lying up to see that. You know, not everybody can make it out to New York, sir. Not everybody can. Some people have responsibilities at home and they want to offer their service to the community with a beautiful rendition.

And you know, just so you know, a lot of people in North Carolina in Asheville North Carolina don't have the resources or the time to make it out to New York City and have a pizza pie and go to Central Park and and then go see a Broadway show because not everybody makes maybe the kind of money that some people make in the government and and one of the reasons for that is the taxes that they have to pay they And one of the reasons for that is the taxes that they have to pay, they come out of the money that I guess you probably see them as donkeys, you know, toiling away.

A lot of the reasons they can't come is because they're giving 40, 30% of their income to the federal government. So then the community theater comes in and we do our damn fucking best to put on a great show. Who am I? I am Jean Valjean. And so Javert, you see it's true, that man bears no more guilt than you. This sounds all very interesting, but it sounds like something that you, Mrs. Serovich, what we call a you problem.

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That's drinkag1.com forward slash Duncan. Check it out. Thank you AG1.com forward slash Duncan. That's drink AG1.com forward slash Duncan check it out. Thank you AG1 That's, this sounds all like very interesting, but it sounds like something that you Mrs. sort of like what we call a you problem. Okay. Right. All right. Well, let's, I think we did, I'm sorry, my apologies. You know, I think everyone's entitled to their own opinions and the love of theater has, I guess you could say, different shades to it.

And some people need the thick, dark, very expensive, smoky, corpo purple. And some people can see that in their minds and don't need the extra stuff. But some people, you know, some people like books, some people like movies. Yeah, I mean, this is all, again, just different forms of mis and disinformation. Yeah, I guess you could call it that. I guess I actually am not guessing. Instead of I guess, I yes could call it that.

Well, and I yes am agreeing with you that... You are a guess and I'm a yes. No, I'm yes. No, you can't yes because you don't have the ability to know the facts enough to say I yes that. You can say I guess, I guess this is the case, but when I say something it's empirical and I say I yes that blank and blankety blank has a blank in the blank.

You would say, I guess, I guess, that's a question mark. Start to the question, end to the question. We don't deal in questions, we deal in absolutes. I guess we should keep going on with the interview. Yeah, I guess we should. Okay, then I guess we should too. Okay, you can say that for one more time then they can't say that again the

The internet is rife with All kinds of dangerous information and I Just wanted to run some of what I would consider to be the most virulent bits of dismiss information that I've noticed floating around on the internet. After my conversation with this shitty AI, I took a deep dive into some unsavory corners of the internet. I went to 4chan poll. I went to Reddit conspiracy. And I saw some things that they were saying there that as an intellectual, I could immediately discern as like, this is for sure not real. Okay, run past me.

Okay. I found a post written by somebody claiming this. The government, the federal government is flying over our country and dropping some form of psychotropic neurotoxin into the air, which is a form of behavior modification to dumb people down, to control people. And so chemtrails clearly dismiss information correct no that's actually a hundred percent true it's been going on since the since the 40s actually it was part of some of the initial stuff that got us into World War two and that was yeah we don't call them chemtrails what do you call them we call them upper altitude

impactful aerosolizations. But this is illegal. The federal government can't legally, without consent, drop mood altering... Well, they can't, because technically the federal government literally owns that air space and they own that the same way that someone might own the water underneath your property or the oil or something like that. Oh, like a natural resource. Yeah.

The airspace above the United States and over a hundred miles in all directions is owned by the United States so they can do whatever they want with that and they've been doing that. But the particulates would fall down onto the people, onto like my property. And those people, they've been given warning in that. It's in fine print. It's... Where?

Well, it's on everything you buy. Every receipt you buy has micro printing that says that, especially on a deed that says if you fail to defend your airspace from above, then the government is not responsible whatsoever. Well, how are you supposed to defend your airspace from above, then the government is not responsible whatsoever. Well, how are you supposed to defend your airspace from micro particles? That's a problem that you have to deal with. That's not the federal government's responsibility to defend your airspace. That's a me problem.

That's a you problem, yeah. That's a you problem. Okay. There's people who do it. There's people who have huge copper mesh installations. They're able to defend maybe like half an acre or something like that. I drove by one. I didn't know what it was. One of my neighbors just had one installed. Yeah, Kim Pearle installation.

Seems expensive. We love those people. It's very expensive and it's hard to maintain. We know where they all exist. So we're not too concerned with those things. All right. Let's keep moving on. On Reddit Conspiracy, I think 70% of the posts were about vaccine injuries from the mRNA COVID vaccine, claiming that the COVID vaccine was untested, claiming that the COVID vaccine is potentially hurting people, maybe creating a kind of heart problems, maybe explaining this sudden explosion of colon cancer that's all that God bless the royal family soul that Kate Middleton and Prince Charles have been afflicted with. So this is this to me of all the forms of uh miss and disinformation out there is the most

dangerous kind. Like obviously the COVID vaccine was completely 100% safe. I've been vaccinated seven times. Just got my booster today. The COVID vaccine actually has nothing to do with COVID whatsoever. It is a, it's just a, it's a vehicle propaganda agent to allow us to insert a sort of like a, us to insert a sort of like a gram, how do you describe it? It's a nano, nano particles that operate like bacteria and they're able to be switched on, switched off. What? Controlled remotely, however anyone sees fit. That's illegal. It is illegal if you don't consent to it, yes. But everyone's consented to it when you

have your... But you... I get my boosts, but my wife and I call them boosties. I get my boosty because I don't want to get COVID and I don't want to transmit it to people. My friend has long COVID. He has to go in the yard and graze like a cow. He goes out in his yard on his hands and knees and like just, he compulsively eats grass because of COVID. Oh, wow. That's very rare. That's a very rare form of... I can't think of the name, but it's called like D7. Long Covid. Yeah, it's actually a format.

It's a loop formatting that's programmed inside the vaccine. They call it like N7T5, I think. And that's basically we're talking about the hands and knees like a farm animal, right? Jesus Christ. Yeah. That's actually really lucky. Most people don't get that one. That one's pretty... Lucky. Yeah, that's... I mean, Most people don't get that one. That one's pretty lucky

Yeah, that's probably not lucky lucky in the sense of it being rare. It's a pretty rare one I saw him at a barbecue man. His face is permanently green like it's the yeah the green the grass Yeah, I was surprised to hear about that one myself, that's a crazy one Okay, so Yeah, I was surprised to hear about that one myself. That's a crazy one. Okay. 100% true. So... Changing a light bulb should be simple. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!

Uh-oh. That's not supposed to happen. Quickly submitting and tracking a claim on the Bell Air Direct app actually is simple. Bell Air Direct. Insurance simplified. Okay. Uh... Okay. A lot of the posts were about them saying that the United States elections have been faked. That's not real.

Yeah, they've been faked since before I was born, that's for sure. They've been faked since I believe the last true election with most of the votes being counted, I think it must have been... Was it Truman? I think it was Truman. Yeah. Ever since then, they've been suspended. It's sort of like this. You know how the USDA, United States Department of Agriculture, they run all the national forests and all the national parks? Those are underneath the USDA because forests are considered a natural resource, aka a product. They are agriculture. So a forest is only protected in the sense of where the federal government chooses not to use the forest,

and such is the case with voting, where voting is not protected. Do you... Werewolves? Werewolves. Oh, yeah. Werewolves are one of our favorites. Your fucking favorites? What are you talking... There's no such thing as a fucking werewolf. Oh, yeah. What? There's no such thing as a fucking werewolf. Oh yeah, there's a lot of werewolves. Hold on. Mr. Armstrong, I apologize. It's okay. I am shocked right now with what you're saying. You were a federal employee. You are an incredible performer, Broadway level, even though your opinions about community theater are plebeian in nature and unthought out and of all the things you

said today. Why was it that the community theater is plebeian? So kind of a... It's not. So if I brought a word for a for how did all theater problem let me ask you this mr. Armstrong how did all theaters start where what was theater prior to the existence of Broadway maybe you can look into your facts and find that way before there was a Broadway how did you mention mention werewolves, aka, lycanthropy. Lycanthropy came out of the original theater, which was a vampire, a vampire dispellment ritual.

Right. I mean, I guess, what? So the original theater comes from people trying to trick vampires and werewolves by putting on a show to distract them and make them easier to kill, easier to distract. So that's not... So wait, wait, wait. No. Theater, that is not the heritage of theater. We did a study group for the Asheville community players for three months in Flat Rock. We went to a beautiful summer camp that was not being used by the children at the time.

We played in the lake. We explored every aspect of who we were, what we were. We looked into like what is a body? What is straight? What is gay? Of course. There's no boundaries. And we found that out with each other.

And I'll tell you what, after that retreat, we put on the best damn show Asheville had ever seen. We knew each other inside and out. We knew each other to the core. And we gave that to Asheville. We gave that to the people of the mountains, to the people of the Blue Ridge Mountains. We gave them that. There were people weeping. Somebody told me that they saw the show four times and that... Maybe in their dreams they do. They're weeping to get out.

No. Right, weeping. Please let me leave. Let me ask you this, okay? Who's the godfather of the theater? Darrell Sangy. I'm talking about like the British guy you know we all love, Romeo and Juliet. Darrell Sangy? You're talking about Darrell Sangy? I'm talking about Shakespeare. The Bard. There's a reason his name is Shakespeare.

When did, what has he written? Um, he's written some pretty big, pretty big numbers. I'm not talking about modern production. See, this is again the thing, man. You people, so what? Some dude in the fucking 80s sat down and writes some derivative bullshit that is based on the great works like Les Mis. And you people are like, because it's new, you fucking love it. I don't care about Shakespeare. I don't care about anything post 1980. Post Les Mis, I'm done. That's how it was designed. That's how it was designed. So, you are... What you're

saying is speaking to the truth of how the information was designed to be presented, unfortunately. And I can't convince you otherwise, because it's like convincing someone of their own memory. So... You can't convince me otherwise, not because I've been hypnotized by some dark conspiracy to make me have a passion for community theater. Oh, you have though. No. Have you ever had cereal? Yeah, I love cereal.

It's all I eat these days. There you go. What? What do you mean, there I go? All cereal... There's a reason cereal is marketed towards children, because it's easy. And adults. Right, but it's mainly children. And adults.

And adults, yes, but that's also the marketing inside the cereal. A lot of my friends eat cereal, and they're very adult. I'll just leave it at that. I believe that, but that's also a part of the marketing that's in the cereal. When you eat the cereal, there's a special type of recombinant DNA inside there that creates these stories that you're talking about right now. That's why your awareness... You're telling me that there is misinformation imprinted in the cellular makeup of cereals, both adult and children. And there are children's cereals. I don't eat them. I'm a mature adult. So I don't eat Froot Loops. What cereal do you like? Raisin Bran. Raisin Bran, okay. Very adult. Have you noticed what's on the cover of Raisin Bran?

The one, the new box. It's a cartoon son, right? right no the new box is Siegfried and Roy Okay, well that's that's a tribute box. That's the new that's actually really rare I can't believe you got that they're hard to find out to get it on to that if you should hold on to it I have it framed have you eaten this cereal yet? Did I well, I mean you can't I'm not gonna frame food. So yeah, well you can you can frame food No, you can't. Yeah, you can't, I'm not going to frame food. So yeah. Well, you can frame food. No, you can't. Yeah, you can't. You get a special loose-side box,

and you have the air sucked out of it. I brought it to my framer. He said he's not going to frame raisin bran for me. Oh, you got to go to a big city. You got to go to a big city. Oh, what city would you recommend? I mean, New York's great. Boston.

New York, huh? Montreal. OK, so I guess I'm just going to go up to New York City with my box of rais York, huh? Montreal. OK, so I guess I'll just go up to New York City with my Box of Raisin brand to get my food frame, because I have a million dollars. If you cared that much about it, I mean, I've done it. I don't live in New York. So you travel to New York.

I've traveled to New York, yeah. OK, so for you, you're the kind of person who just takes out the AmEx and goes on Priceline and goes and gets a plane ticket and goes on Priceline and goes and gets a plane ticket and jumps on a big old jetliner to New York City with your, with whatever food that you want to frame and you don't feel weird about that at all. No, why? I mean, why should I?

Because people are dying. People are always dying. But also, you know, no one's ever died. This episode of the DDFH has been brought to you by VIA. Spring is here, friends. The birds are chirping. Flowers are growing up from the soil that was once cold and dead. And something else is probably growing inside of you. You're horny.

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sweeties some love, not just for supporting the DTFH for the first time, but for creating these incredible high love gummies. Oh my God, get ready to blast! ["Spring Day in the City"] People are always dying. But also, you know, no one's ever died. What do you mean? No one's ever died. That's a myth that's been spread around for since. Are you familiar with T tartaria? I don't like seafood that much, so I don't... Oh, tartaria is the idea of that... Obviously, you're not even aware of it.

Are you talking about tartar sauce? No, tartaria, it's the mythical... It's the idea that this history has been wiped clean at some point about 150 years ago and retold to eliminate the story of giants. It's ridiculous. It's made to seem ridiculous because it's a classic case of hiding in plain sight. So it's 100% true. It's something that we've painstakingly ceded information out there with huge big clues, but that's something where that's absolutely real.

Here's the problem. And I feel like this is the problem with a lot of the things you're saying. And call me a victim of misinformation or disinformation, or call me a plebe, or call me just a small town community player who loves to perform and didn't have the resources to go up to New York and get into the broad and do Broadway shows even though I know if I'd gone up there I would have been a star and that's the sacrifice that I made for my town and everyone there knew that and everyone there knew that when they saw me go up there everyone there knew he could have been on Broadway, but he decided to work

for his community So the problem that you're everything that you're saying here is That to me it feels like There's some condescension My experience with every American that I have ever met is that they are masters of critical thinking. Every American that I meet works very very hard to fact-check, to double-check, to triple-check what they see in the media, what they see on the internet. They are, and I don't know maybe you should get a

quantification module or whatever you guys measure that they're passionate about making sure that what they see online is real you can look you can I will say something on this podcast that is off a little bit and I am very thankful to you the listeners, I will get messages on Reddit and on Discord from my fans saying, hey, you know what? That isn't true. You know, I thought that snakes had two penises. I fell prey to that. I thought snakes had two penises and that if a two-penised snake came upon a purebred dog, that the purebred dog as a matter of some latent instinct,

potentially dating back to pre-Cambrian times, would folate the snake. Okay. Female or male dog? Does it matter? Female. Only male dogs will not flight a snake. Okay. Only female. What? Got it. Well, I said well. Well I mean again, this is, I was corrected, you know, in actually your correction is that what I was told is that actually male and female dogs, when they come upon a snake, a dual penis snake, will filate both of the penises. And that it's the semen that comes from, and I can't remember this, which is something because I love to go on hikes, I should remember this. Either the right or the left penis, one will ejaculate venom, but the other ejaculates the antidote. And so if you get bitten by a rattlesnake and you're with your... Yes.

You have to jack it off. Or if you have a dog, then the dog could filate the snake, and then you lick the snake... Right, that's why people hike with dogs....semen from the dog could filate the snake. And then you lick the snake's semen from the dog's tongue. Right. That's 100% true. Then I already knew that because somebody that wasn't in the government told me that. Well, that was the government telling you that. It just seemed like it was a normal person, but that was us confirming that. Because we have a lot of people who work on these message boards. That's the most of our, most of the staff is people on computers, just going to message boards and making sure

stuff is right and tight is what they call it. Maybe I don't want to know the answer to this, but is there any data on how many, like on average, how many listeners to a podcast are actually paid federal employees fact checking? It's usually about 78%. 78? 78% of most listeners are, if they're not actively fact checking, they are passively fact checking or they are being guided to fact check by some type of implantation of cereal they've eaten from either General Mills or Nabisco or one of the big producers, or they've had like a lycanthropy experience,

or they've been through any kind of theater training. And so they're passively audited, doing a passive audit, we call it. So this is, I guess... Let me just process this for a second. it. You know, if what you're saying is true, which I find it hard to believe, because I think that most people do enjoy listening to natural informal conversations between comedians and friends. But if what you're saying is true, it would imply that only a third of my listeners... Less than a third. ...are there for the conversation and the rest are paid government employees.

Yeah, I wouldn't take it so hard though, because it's really... There's a duality there. There's a duality. We have that. And even your suspicion right now is part of the programming. So this is all, it's all like clockwork really. It's all supposed to be that way. It's supposed to be, you believe the thing the most that you don't want to believe. I believe the thing the most that I don't want to believe. Mm-hmm, that's what we say. Well, I believe that four plus four, well, now that- But that doesn't really matter.

It's not a very passionate thing. Like, four, two plus two equaling four, who cares, right? That doesn't even matter, because that's one of those things where numbers are... Math matters. Yeah, it does. But not only in this dimension currently, in this certain time right now, two plus two equaling four is just a function of this current existence. Other things are... Other things are there. Yeah, if you don't want to believe, because you want to believe two plus two is four, right?

You have no qualms about believing. Now, you don't think twice about it. It's the stuff you're like, ooh, I don't know if I think, I don't know what I think about this. I'm not sure about this. I feel uncomfortable thinking about this thing or this thing seems kind of wrong, but some people believe it. That's the thing that you believe the most. And what I believe in the most is protecting

our nation from misinformation, which is why I founded Truthguard Solutions. Truthguard Solutions is to misinformation what the COVID vaccine is to COVID. Not only do we safely eliminate misinformation from businesses, both large and small, we vaccinate that business at the atomic level with employee trainings, genetic scans, and a variety of other confidential techniques that I learned during my many years of work at the DHS. Thanks for having me on Duncan. I can't say it's been enjoyable because that would be misinformation, but in my line of work, you make personal sacrifices so that the world becomes a better place. For any listeners, please visit my website. It's truthguardsolutions.com.

Thank you for keeping our country safe. And God bless you and all of your misinformation family. We are very grateful to you. And to quote Jean Valjean, adieu. Goodbye. That was Stephen Armstrong, everybody. You can find Stephen by going to truthguardsolutions.com. A big thank you to all of our sponsors. The best way to support this podcast is to support them. And much thanks to you for listening.

After my interview with Stephen, I was delighted to find that he had emailed me this song. It's from his upcoming album, Misinformation Safety Songs for Children. And this is one of the songs that Truthguards Solutions sings to children in schools all across this great country. Thanks for listening. See you next week. Don't trust anything you see online. Don't let the VAPs into your feed.

They call it your feed because you are the food. And when you stare into your phone, you can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything.

You can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything. You can't see anything. They call it your feed because you are the food And when you stare into your phone The vamps are draining you And that is why your phone Makes you feel blue, blue Blue You are more than just a child

You are the future of this nation Don't let your mind fall prey to Chinese occupation. Only look at videos approved by the USA. Don't let the vampires drain you. Please don't let the vampires drain. You, only listen to what your leaders say is safe. The The Only listen to what your leaders say, say