Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 617: Solo Episode

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

Duncan returns for another solo episode, now available in beautiful panasonique™ color on youtube! In this episode Duncan tells the future, judges adult birthday parties, and insults your relatives a few times! Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg and Duncan Trussell. This episode is brought to you by: Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/duncan and get on your way to being your best self. VB Health - Visit LoadBoost.com and use code DUNCAN for 10% off of your first order!

I have some dates coming up. Come see me this weekend. If you're watching in the week of May 30th I'm gonna be at the helium comedy club in Portland one of my favorite clubs on planet Earth I'm gonna be there May 30th 31st and June 1st Then after that the orange peel in Asheville one of those shows has already sold out But we saw some tickets for the added show. Then June 13th, 14th, and 15th. Good Nights Comedy Club and Raleigh. Come see me Raleigh. After that I am headed to Buffalo August 8th, 9th, and 10th. Then Side Splitters Comedy Club in Tampa, Florida. I'm excited about that. August 15th, 16th, and 17th. And finally,

I'm going to be at the Wilbur November 1st. Also, there's some more dates that we're adding in to that touring schedule. I'll announce those soon. On with the podcast. You're listening to the Duncan Trussell Family Hour podcast, now available in beautiful Panasonic color on YouTube. In this episode, I use William Burroughs' cut-up technique to tell the future, and I struggle with my judgment of adults who throw themselves birthday parties or really enjoy theme parks or like to go out

to get ice cream. And I also insult your great, great, great grandparents more than a few times, and at the very end, I read some soft core prawn. I was going through some of my old albums when I stumbled upon this one. Breakthrough in Grey Room. William Burroughs. If you're not familiar with William Burroughs, he was a famous beat poet, an author.

Maybe you saw the crazy fucking movie Naked Lunch, which I think I saw that in high school and it made me want to try heroin. Or maybe I already wanted to try heroin in high school, but I think it was that movie that drove me to ask my drug dealer at the time if he would sell heroin to me. And he sent me in his creepy bedroom and on the wall was a blacklight painting with this cheesy poem on it, which I can't really remember, but it was some kind of warning, like, don't do heroin. Like, I am the dog that only bites the hand that feeds it. You will shake and tremble every time you need it. You know, shit like that. But it's cool that he wasn't selling high school kids heroin. Maybe not as cool that he would sell us like Xanax and Valium, but heroin was a hard limit for

my high school drug dealer. The point is Burroughs was very powerful. He romanticized heroin in this beautiful way and he was truly an outsider. He came up with this weird technique of telling the future called the cutup technique. I'm not gonna try to explain it, because on this album, William Burroughs explains it.

Let's listen. These experiments started not on tape recorders, but on paper. In 1959, Brian Gieson said that writing is 50 years behind painting and applied the montage technique to words on a page. And this technique had already been used in painting at that time for 50 years, was in fact kind of old-hating painting. Brian copied out phrases from newspapers and magazines, then took the scissors and cut

these selections into pieces and rearranged the fragments at random. And these cut-up experiments appeared in minutes to go in 1959. When you experiment with cut-ups over a period of time, you find that some of the cut-ups and rearranged texts seem to refer to future events. I cut up an article written by John Paul Getty and got, it's a bad thing to sue your own father. This was a rearrangement and wasn't in the original text. And a year later one of your sons did sue him. I mean, it's

purely extraneous information and nothing to me. Now nothing to gain on either side. We had no explanation for this at the time. Just suggesting that when you cut into the present the future leaks out. I actually have tried the cut-up technique before and I really haven't had great results with it but maybe something about filming it is gonna change whatever happens. So if you're gonna do the cut up technique, you're gonna need something to cut. Some people use scissors. I suck with scissors.

I'm just not good at scissors. So I use a box cutter. And I've picked a few different sources for our cut ups. Most importantly, Garden and Gun. I don't know when my wife subscribed to this incredible magazine, but it's perfect for using chaos to prognosticate the future. So let's just cut some random sentences out. I think that's the idea. You're not supposed to spend too much time thinking about exactly what you're cutting.

You just cut. And there we go. See what I'm saying? Not a straight fucking cut. This is the problem. This technique takes forever. Let's try this. A bigger chunk. Yeah, there bigger chunk. Yeah, there we go. Now I will say this, there's something just like viscerally pleasurable about cutting up gun and gardens.

Just feels good. I like the sound it makes, the slice of the box cutter against this southern paper. Here we go. So you got this, and let's cut a few more. I'm not paying attention to what I'm cutting. I really hope that my wife is not super into this magazine. I've never seen it around the house before. I don't know who got a subscription to it. I don't know. I don't want to piss anybody off. All right, let's get cutting. Smear the glue down first. I'm gonna smear the glue down first.

Come on you like that? You like that? You want more? You like it? Oh okay yeah daddy yeah. Oh shit there it goes. So here we have our first cut up using the classic cut up technique. And I'll just read it to you. Music and life gives birth to art. Your wife makes love to the gardener. Your wife makes love to the gardener. New England's charm is great. Your wife is cheating on you with the landscaper. Palm Beach. Nothing. Gobbly fucking goop. Nothing. Gobbly goop. Doesn't mean anything. I mean, look, Burroughs was

on a lot of fucking dope. I guess maybe if you do it long enough, like eventually something will come out that makes sense or tells the future. But in this case, a complete waste of time and I destroyed some great fucking books. Hello guys! Guess what? We're doing another solo episode. I hope that's okay. Thank you all so much. Everyone has been giving me comments and responding to my new foray into video podcasting.

God bless you. I hope that your great grandparents, if they are in hell or no longer in hell, and if there's no way to get them out of hell, then I hope that they're moved into a less intense torture area of hell, which is something you have to wonder about. I mean, if you do believe in hell, which a lot of people do, I mean, that alone is pretty crazy to think about that a huge percentage of the world's population, they think that when they die, there is some probability that they are going down, like literally down into some broiling torture chamber.

And you have to wonder about that torture chamber. You know, once a long time ago, when I was on ketamine, I had a vision of hell. And the vision was that it's like here. It's like a perfect kind of circuitry where if you're super selfish, if you're super self-absorbed, if all you do is think about yourself, then this is hell. I mean, not to get immediately get into some kind of theistic, philosophical, college-level conversation, which by the way is the only level that I seem to be capable of, I just watched this, like my brother-in-law's this brilliant eccentric genius and he has all of these

just strange esoteric books and sometimes I walk in and he's watching like super bizarre YouTube channels. I wish I could remember the one he was watching. It's uh it's an occult expert like a real It's an occult expert, like a real occult expert. And holy shit, man, like the guy knows everything. He knows everything. I think he can read hieroglyphics and he can just easily sort of expound upon the death rituals of the ancient Egyptians, like going through the pyramids and why they're set up

that way and how the whole thing is some kind of bizarre factory that is designed to essentially it's like a chimney but for your soul. So the idea is like your soul comes out, I believe that's called the Ka, and then that has to get led into some like other part of you, which is I guess your infinite state and so essentially the goal here is you're supposed to, using a pyramid, merge your soul with infinity so that when you die you don't lose everything. You sort of get to carry your personality into infinity. You become an immortal being.

There's some weird name for that, but it ain't easy. If you want to do this, you need some motherfuckers to put your body in a pyramid. Like, you need them to build a pyramid for you. Like, you know, that means that you are doing something right, maybe. Or you are a slave driving monster. Sorry for the squeaks. Anyway, I get it. I understand why people wanna create some kind of story

about what happens when you die. And also, even in like ideas of hell, attached to them is this notion of control. Like, you know, if you do the right things, if you give your heart to Jesus Christ, whatever your particular religion may be, then you're not gonna go to hell. You're gonna go to heaven instead of hell.

So there's some sense of control. You can't really control when you die, but you can control where you go when you die. And there is like, it's a pretty high probability that your great-grandparents or maybe your great-great-grandparents are fucking assholes. Like, if you go back and look at history, whoo! Like, I mean, if I'm in Vegas, no offense. And there's a game where I get to bet on your great-great-grandparents, like, whether or not they're in hell or not, I think I'm gonna say they're in hell. And because of what you've done for me, because of the comments that you've left,

I hereby expatiate, is that the word? Is expatiate the word? It is now. I expatiate the souls of your great-great grandparents. They are no longer in hell and they're in heaven or if there is no way for me to do that because of some rule I don't understand, then your great great grandparents are in a nicer part of hell. Because there's got to be nicer parts of hell. If I was really attempting to pull off hell, like if I got a chance to like just build hell on my own, then I'm definitely going to make like really nice parts of hell, like relatively nice. You know, there's going to be the classics, the pits of fire.

There's going to be, I'm going to, I'm going to steal a little bit from Dante. I'm going to have the ice fields. I'm going to have like, I don't know, what is it? A forest where wolves chase you around or something? I probably won't do that. Maybe like infinite roller coaster ride? So this would be a hell for people who fixate on theme parks. You know, I've always found that particular fetish to be one of... and look, I don't want to judge fetishes. I think if you do have a fetish, you're lucky, like that's a good thing, but you know, theme park fetishists, something about that really bugs me. You know, there's a few old man signs that I've been getting lately, like where you're

like, oh fuck, like I'm definitely getting old now. I mean, obviously age is the first old man sign look at the grains in this beard, but Yeah, I realized that I think adults who like are in to go getting ice cream cones cones are kind of embarrassing themselves. I hate to admit it. I'm sorry if I immediately lose all of you, but I don't know. There just seems to be something cloying about passing an ice cream area. And there's lines of adults, like, waiting to get that cone.

Double vanilla cone, double, double, I'm doubling it today. And they sit out there in their sun and they eat their fucking ice cream. Whoa, that bothers me and that's definitely inside me. That's not you. If you're an adult, if you're a grown ass person and you're like, today I'm gonna go on an ice cream trip

and you are getting off on that somehow great that's great I'm glad as I mentioned I think fetishes are you're lucky if you have a fetish but I guess the problem is with the ice cream fetishists they don't realize they're kinky maybe that's the part that bothers me you know as they think they're doing some kind of national pastime or something there they're doing some kind of national pastime or something. They're doing something. This is what you do on a Sunday when it's hot. I mean, if you're bringing your kids to get ice cream, that's great.

That's great. And I know this is completely unthought out and hypocritical because if you're teaching your kids that ice cream is a great thing, then probably they're going to turn into like ice cream losers and they're going to on Sundays go down and get ice cream at the ice cream stand. But just something about it just feels off, man. Just the next time you drive by an ice cream area and you see a bunch of grownups slurping back their double cones with a preference, You know, that's the other part. Like they're like, ooh, I hope they have rocky road.

I don't know why, but again, this is all in me. I'm just being fully honest with you. This is a aclacia, I think is what they call it, in Buddhism, like an obscuration. Like every one of us deep, deep, deep down inside the rocky shell, the rocky grotesque shell of defense mechanisms and reactionary habits and patterns, like way down there, especially for your great-great grandparents, like deep down in the core is perfection, a jewel.

The comparison that gets made a lot is if you think about extracting gold from ore, there might be gold in some rocks, but sometimes to get that gold extracted, you've got to do a lot. And every single human being on planet earth, no matter how much they delight in getting ice cream on a hot day as adults, no matter how much they get overjoyed about going to Disneyland, like past all of that, deep inside there is an infinite beautiful

like irrepressible radiant light. There's different names for it. Fundamental goodness is one of the names. Some people call it the soul. Whatever you want to call it. It's in there. It's deep, deep in there. And so the clashes would be all the things that sort of cover that up. It's the bird shit on the windshield of your consciousness. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by my dear friends over at Squarespace. Don't try to build a website yourself. There's so many other things you could do that are more exciting and potentially less

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But it isn't like that anymore, thanks to Squarespace. They have everything you need. You want to make a website quickly, like maybe a Memorial Day website for one of your friends, you could do that in seconds or if you want to make something deep beautiful and powerful as the Ganges River like dunkintrustle.com you can do that too. Go as deep as you want or as shallow as you need to be with Squarespace. Right now if you head over to squarespace.com forward slash Duncan you can try it out for free.

When you're ready to launch, which you will be, use offer code Duncan and you get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. Again it's squarespace.com forward slash Duncan. Try it out for free! Try it out for free. Recognize that I mean what I say when I say that Squarespace is a gift from the divine brought here by angels to save humanity

from the horrors of trying to design a website on their own. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Duncan, and you'll get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. Thank you, Squarespace. Namaste. It's in there. It's deep, deep in there. And so the clashes would be all the things that sort of cover that up. It's the bird shit on the windshield of your consciousness.

It's like a splattering of karmic bird shit, but in this case, it's not birds that have been shitting on the windshield of your identity, but depending on the cosmology, it's past lives. Like, in many, many past lives, you probably didn't make great choices. Why would you have? Think of human history. You are out there at a witch burning, you know, cheering, you are at a witch burning,

hoping that you would get picked to like light the kindling. Like that was you a long time ago. That was all of us. So we get these obscurations, clashes. And so I just fully wanna admit my, I don't wanna call it disdain, but my deep abiding judgment of adults who, number one, are too into ice cream. I get it.

It's a hot day. You pass an ice cream place. You want to cool down. Fine. You know what? I'm talking about the other level. There's this other level. It's like a kind of caffeinated approach to life.

You know what I mean? It's kind of this like over-exertion in the direction of infantile hedonism or something. It shows up as glorifying ice cream, glorifying theme parks. and oh my god, I just watched a review of an angry review of This hotel at I think Disneyland maybe Disney World it's that Star Wars theme park where for two days you go into this hotel and It's like a theme hotel and you're on a star cruise or something.

Now, the problem is in the review, many of the issues that the reviewer had with the hotel was not like room service or food or all the stuff you might worry about if you're stuck in a two-day theme resort. The problem was places where the theme hotel diverged from lore in Star Wars, which is like it's got to be so frustrating if you're making a theme hotel. The first thing you're probably thinking is, you know, kids are going to love this. Like my kids will love this.

It's going to feel like they're on a spaceship. You're probably not even thinking that like a 36 year old lady with like dyed black hair, sitting in a weird room filled with stuffed animals, is gonna do a two-hour YouTube video on how it's completely fucked up that you were giving lightsaber lessons, Jedi lessons as one of the events in your theme hotel because, come on, the knowledge of the Jedi is something you don't give to everybody like they were pissed man they were pissed but the other thing is that fucking out tells sucks no matter what it sucks because there's no dress code

like if you're gonna do a Star Wars theme hotel then you have to outfit the guests because as far as I'm concerned I am not going to be able to imagine that I'm on a star cruiser if I'm surrounded by people in fucking flip-flops and shorts and Hawaiian shirts. Like, if I am on a star cruiser, it's probably heading to a fucking prison planet. Like, I've probably been abducted. Like, I was one of the idiots who got on the ships. By the way, I don't know if you follow any of the conspiracy forums, but this is one of my favorite threads that will pop up from time to time, which is, emphatically don't get on the ships.

The implication being that at some point these ships are gonna show up and they're going to Invite humanity onto the ships and if you get on the fucking ships, you're done like they're gonna eat you They're gonna enslave you. They're just gonna fly Outside of like the planet and dump you into space like I don't know. It's either depopulation, slavery, food, genetic experiments, but don't get on the ships. Now, this is actually a version of something that's a little more sinister, which is we've all heard about the light that people who've had an NDE's near-death experience has claimed to see. So, which is we've all heard about the light that people who've had an NDEs near death experience has claimed to see.

So this is a version of that. And many people have said, don't go in that fucking light. Don't do it. Don't fall for it. You go in that light and you're stuck in a time warp, baby. That's what you're in, basically. It's like every time you die, you keep going to that light. Like, and it's built into us to go towards light. It's built into a lot of creatures. I mean,

my God, this is what sucks about candles in the evening. You want to put some candles out on your front porch and have a glass of wine, watch the sun go down. You got to deal with the fact that you're going to watch a variety of bugs self-immolate in that candle. You'll smell them burn. They just go right towards it, man. You have to deal with that, by the way. Speaking of like sad animal related tragedies, I just saw a picture of the front of one of those bullet trains.

Google it. Oh my god. It's just, it's blood splattered. It's just completely covered in blood because those bullet trains go shooting down the fucking tracks and whatever goes in front of it is just obliterated. People, deer, birds, dogs, probably Bigfoot, probably like cryptids, probably like angels, maybe an angel was flying to rescue a kid and just splat!

Boom! Like it splattered all over the front of the train to the point where they don't even try to clean it anymore. What's the point? They stopped trying to clean the blood off the front of those trains. And so now it's just this maroon coat of blood on those trains. And wow. Wow.

So, lighting a candle on your porch, it's not quite bullet train level death, but the point is, forget the bullet train stuff, maybe there's something in us that is just drawn towards light. And so, if, as many say, which is the best way when you can't remember where you got some idea from, just say many say. Also, if you're interviewing somebody and you're a coward and you don't want to say many say. Also, if you're interviewing somebody and you're a coward and you don't want to say like, you know, I think you're a total piece of shit. What you could do is you go, you know, many say you're a total piece of shit and then you're not the one who said it.

It's just many. But many say that the body acts as a kind of, I don't know, sheath, a protection for the soul and that when you die, you lose that protection for a little bit. Now, if I was some kind of hyperdimensional creature that liked to hunt souls and for whatever reason I couldn't get them when they're inside of a body. You better fucking believe I would just go into the astral plane and hold up a light and just catch all the terrified humans are like, oh there it is, that's the light. Like the light in Poltergeist, go into the light. Or don't go into the light, in Poltergeist, don't go into the light.

Carol Anne, is that an old, that's another old reference. Do you guys not know what Poltergeist is? That's sad if you don't. That movie rocked my fucking world. The way that I figured out how old I was when my parents got divorced, because I couldn't remember, is I remembered the movies I watched the summer before it happened and Poltergeist was one of them. Annie and I think because my aunt who I was staying with

at the time knew that my folks were splitting up she was just letting us go to any fucking movie that we wanted. And it was incredible. We had no idea that we were getting, like, you know, treats because at the end of the summer the sledgehammer of reality was gonna come smashing down on me and my brother. We had no idea, like, but all of a sudden we're, like, going to movies all the time. We got a fucking Atari 20. My dad brought an Atari 2600. We were just like, oh, finally you guys caught up without you should parent.

But the reality was no, no, no. This was the divorce boom of the 80s and it didn't work out for my folks. But what a great fucking summer before. My God. for my folks and But what a great fucking summer before my god, it's Very silly, you know, I heard about this. This is really messed up. I heard about this Form of execution maybe you've heard of this Many say it happens in Saudi Arabia. I Don't know if it still does but basically what they do

If they send it to you to death, they don't put you on death does, but basically what they do, if they sentence you to death, they don't put you on death row like they do here in the States. They put you in this really nice house. I mean it's nice. You can't leave. There might be a courtyard. You can go out there and like, and smoke. There's widescreen TVs.

It's nice. Really good food but It any moment in the moment you walk through that door into the future Any moment someone could come through the door and chop your fucking head off. I mean it is gonna happen So you don't really get to enjoy the house because you know that like any like imagine like at night Hear a sound it's just the wind but you're like, oh, this is it

So that's I guess that's kind of what the on it well kind of it's not we're getting executed I mean sometimes people need to get divorced like my parent needed to get divorced. You find that out later in life. You're like, what were you doing? I mean, that's the crazy thing. When you become a dad, a mom, when you get married and you experience the same shit your parents experience that you have harshly judged them for, you just start seeing them in a whole new light, sometimes in a less compassionate light, but more often in a far more compassionate light, especially, holy shit, my parents were so young.

People got married super young back then. This episode of the DTFH is supported by Better Help. Friends, stuffing things that happen to you deep down into the inner recesses of your identity is never a good idea because it always bubbles up. You know, I just watched the new interview with the vampire series, and I gotta tell you, I really enjoyed it. It made me think a little bit about my sexual identity

in the sense that I for sure would hook up with Lestat. I don't know what that makes me, but I'm sorry. Just watch it. Just watch it, watch it. Like, I want it. Watch it. Like, I want it. I want to be levitated by a French vampire. And like, I want to be seduced by a French vampire. I'm sorry, Better Help, but I'm getting to a point here. In this, it's not really a spoiler. I'll try to make it as ambiguous as possible, but basically a fledgling vampire was not disposing of bodies in the appropriate way and just wasn't thinking about it.

The idea was they threw the bodies in a place where there's storms and drought. And the bottom line is the bodies float up, friends. The bodies float up, friends. The bodies float up. So do you want your body to float up in the middle of a party at somebody's wedding, at your kid's graduation? Probably not, which is why therapy might be the best choice for you

because therapists are professional body floater upper witnesses. My favorite thing about therapy is anytime I've gone to therapy and gotten it off my chest and just said the thing that's been bothering me, the thing that's been haunting me, the thing that has been making me think like truly maybe I'm nuts, the therapist is always like, yeah, totally, I get it. And they're not just saying that because you're paying them. If you, I'm guessing, like if you said something truly like Jeffrey Dahmer level,

I don't know if they'd have that response, but when you go to a great therapist, they're seeing people all the time. They hear all the secrets, all of our secrets. And one of the things they do, aside from creating a safe space for you to exhume all of those many things that you've tried to stuff down in the dark recesses of your soul, is they help you understand that you're human. And none of us are very perfect. We do things and say things and experience things all the time

that are really hard to convey to others. Therapy is the best. It has helped me so many times. I love meditation. I love the Eastern stuff, but therapy and meditation, therapy and psychedelics, if that's your thing, therapy and whatever your particular outside of default reality process may be, they go together really well. It is wonderful to have somebody to touch base with and you learn a lot too. They teach you things. You know, therapists have, it's an evolving

science, which is really incredible. Anytime I go back to therapy, I learn new things that I never heard before. I don't want to brag, I've got a bachelor's degree in psychology from Warren Wilson College in Asheville, North Carolina. But the stuff I was learning then, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. It seems pretty antiquated and outdated. Anytime I go to therapy and hear like the new cutting edge stuff that they're figuring out about the human psyche. I'm sorry, I've gone on a little too long. I just love BetterHelp. And I think you're gonna love them too. If you've got something you need to get off your chest, why not give therapy a try? And BetterHelp is wonderful because it's all done completely online. You just go online, they match you with a therapist.

If you don't like that therapist, you can find, you can switch to a new therapist anytime you want. It is perfect. Now sitting in a lobby, which has always felt weird whenever I've gone to therapy. You can do it online and it works just as well if not better. So I hope you'll try it out. Visit betterhelp.com slash Duncan to get 10% off your first month. Thank you BetterHelp. I hope that wasn't too dark. I meant every word of it, but let me know.

Holy shit, my parents were so young. People got married super young back then. And like, when I hear stories of like crazy shit that was going on with those two, and I'm not going to unload it on you right now. I think I have talked about it on a few podcasts, but for whatever reason right now I'm feeling like already some guilt about talking about I don't know why both of my parents have Gone into the light Or not but Whoa What Wow?

Those are crazy times back that I mean Vietnam So many of our like old, so many of our dads had come back from Vietnam just like real warped, real messed up. And they were trying to like acclimate, acclimate. They were trying to get back into default reality. And that is very hard. That's very hard for people when you're like, just, I mean, you're in some combination of like heaven and hell, you know, obviously hell.

But I think there's something like for people out there, maybe it's the rush, maybe it's like knowing that in any moment you could die or something like makes you more alive than you ever were back in normal reality, but also you're just getting PTSD. You're seeing things no one should ever see. You're seeing this dark, fucked up reality. Then you come back from it, and then you have kids. Whoa. This is, again, karma. This is another... If humans have glaciers, like obscurations covering up the beauty of

who they are, countries, cultures have obscurations covering up the beauty of who they are. Countries, cultures have obscurations too, right? Sort of collective fuck-ups that we all are paying for now, for sure. Like, last I checked, and maybe this has gone up, the United States has been at war for 93% of its history Crazy which means like the odds are Real high that either you were raised by someone with PTSD your Parents were raised by someone with PTSD

their parents were raised by someone PTSD and I think that brings us to your great fucking grandparent, who were not good people. They were real fucked up. I don't want to bash them or anything like that, but whoa. Whoa. They suck. You're great, great grandparent. They suck, man. man, but they have been relieved of their karmic obligation to boil in the

compits, which definitely in my version of Elle I would have compits, like fucking like big giant lakes of demon jizz, and to really like fuck with people in the com pits, I would have lifeguards. So situated around the com pits are going to be like pretty attractive, like 20 year olds in like life lifeguarding garb not demons no horns and Yeah, like anytime you start going under like anytime you start drowning in the cum They save you they like pull you out they give you mouth-to-mouth You puke up all the cum you breathe in and then they throw you right back in the cumpits Definitely have cumpits and now you know Dante's Inferno. I don't know if you ever read it. I Haven't I did read Inferno though, which is so stupid

But when I was when I was a kid, I loved it. It's by Larry Niven and Jerry Pernout. Oh my god It's so when I was a kid. I just thought it was the best book ever science fiction writer atheist falls off this isn't a spoiler after the first chapter falls off a balcony and wakes up in Dante's inferno, I'll leave it there. The book does not age well, but if anyone watching this is like college or if you're in high school, I'm sorry if I said anything that you haven't heard before, but you will like it. But this old crusty man who doesn't like the ice cream, the ice people, adults passionate about ice cream.

What was the other thing? Oh yeah, like adults who get too excited about Disney World or Disneyland. What was the other one I realized? Oh, and this is another like sign of my crust. Today, crust. Today, it's like 102 degrees here in Texas, cleaned out the shed and I liked it. And that's when it really hit me like, holy shit, you've done it, man. You're old now. You've crossed over. You've made the full transition into old dadland. Cause like, do you remember watching your parents do yard work? Like, and just thinking like, you have a car, you have money, the world is out there, the beautiful world, you can go get ice cream,

you can go to Disney World, there's so many things you could do But you're fervently passionately cleaning your shed like What happened what happened to you? You could go out on a bike you go for a walk Go to a public pool Go anywhere, but where are you dad? You're in a fucking shed. A hot shed. And you're blowing it out with a leaf blower. And roaches are being blown out of the shed.

And you're smiling with a strange joy at this. Smiling, laughing at the roaches being blown out of your shed. What happened to you, man? That was me today. Fully happy. Like, fully happy. And even, this is even more pathetic. I did it. Like, I cleaned this fucking shed out. Let me tell you, this shed, ugh. Like, there's another idea I've heard in Buddhism.

Many say that if you have a happy house, like a clean house, that these beings will come to your house known as the Drala. I don't know what they are exactly. Maybe like elves or something. Maybe it's just like good energy. I don't know. But if that's true, the opposite is true too. So sometimes I think

that like ghosts don't necessarily come from someone dying in a house that the ghosts and demons are drawn to fill. Like hoarders. Jesus Christ, those houses must just be crawling with demons. I mean, do you ever play around with this idea that roaches, flies, fruit flies, those gnats that hang out in the garbage can, these are just externalizations of a metaphysical force that if you're seeing those things around your house

There's a very good possibility. There's some demons zipping around too And if my theory is correct and I'd say a hundred percent is correct Scientifically, correct I could prove it if I got the funding That my shed was like a hell portal. Like, whoa, this thing happened, you know? Like a lot of people stay at my house. There's always just so many people at my house. And the shed is kind of like a place where you think

about whether you want something or not. It's not supposed to be that, but it's, you know, just an impossible amount of plastic Christmas candy canes were just scattered throughout the shed. A unopened box with something to help me move my boat that I bought when I had a truck, which I didn't need, and I was so embarrassed that I... It's a long story. Boats are quite often shameful. If you don't live next to a lake, what are you doing? But it's another part of getting old. You're just went out once on that boat went out once it was nice but what a pain in the ass

but yeah my shed like seemingly sentient cockroaches were in there like I I don't know how to put it but it felt like they knew more than they should. Like they felt like they should be in a kid's book or something. Like I kept thinking like this is like the, I don't know if you remember NEM, god I'm old. I think it was called the secret of NEM or the rats of NEM. Like these rats get injected, they get too smart basically. It's essentially plant of the apes but with rats. But yeah, these roaches, I felt like an invader. I felt like, my god, this is the beginning of your movie.

You've made some kind of paradise in my fucking shed. I wondered to myself, what are they eating in here? We don't put food in this shed. Then I pulled one of the strollers out and realized, oh, wow, it is crusted. The bottom of the stroller just crusted with just, you know, juice, puke, all this shit. You just can't even imagine what gets in a stroller. Wuhan level disease factory, probably. And so I realized what's happening here is we put the stroller in the shed and the roaches

are like, thank you, a delivery of our precious nectar. And they just would go and like eat the, just eat the slimy, like spilled, plop. So yeah, I cleaned a shed and I... And you know, the kids helped me, which was really sweet. The boys helped me and they loved it. I don't remember liking helping my parent. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by Load Boost! This is my Load Boost chest. Thank you Load Boost for sending this to me. I really love you guys.

It's filled with plastic sperm but underneath the sperm, ow, I just pinched my move and the chest is Load Boost! Actually it's time for me to take my load boost. You gotta take it for two weeks. And I am taking it. I don't know which part of the podcast this commercial is going to show up in but I do have one ball. And I'm not sure how much that affects the amount of blast you blast but it can't be great for it. Load boost is uh it's really interesting. I'm gonna be honest I've been a little skeptical like how could this even work? How could it work right? Like right like how could it really increase your loads but down the hatch load boost contains a blend of pygium zinc lectithin and more and also it's the favorite supplement of people in the adult film industry. It was formulated by a U.S. licensed medical doctor at VBL. I'm reading the copy to honor

the sponsor, but the real way to honor the sponsor is to test the medicine and you know um I'm gonna say this when I was younger you know it was something of a problem you you know, pleasuring oneself. You need a lot of Kleenexes, right? And I haven't really experienced that reality for a long time until I started taking Load Boost. Are you kidding me?

It hasn't been two weeks. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo This is crazy. Like really? Like there's a way to Change the sad slow drizzle of life that was dripping out of me into a geyser into a beautiful geyser I haven't tasted it yet, but apparently it also changes the taste I will let you know I'm guessing that's because it's got pineapple extract in it. You know, my theory with any of this stuff though, I do love the science behind it is does it work? Does it work?

And I will taste, oh, I'll taste it. I'll let you know. I'm kinda putting that one off. But so far so good. Like thank you, Load Boost, I really appreciate it. I never like, I just, it's one of those things, you know? Like when you're my age, you just, a lot of things you're like, yeah, well that's gone, that's gone. It's not gonna happen anymore. And then science comes to your door and says, hey, do you want to blast like you used to? Do you want to explode? Do you want to create messes?

Do you want like thick, crusty, ruined socks next to your bed? Well, we can do that for you again, if you're interested. And am interested and thank you so much Load Boost for this incredible contribution to medicine. Visit Load Boost.com and use code DUNCAN to get 10% off. You know a lot of things claim to be the Fountain of Youth but only Load Boost will turn you in to the fountain of youth. Again, it's LoadBoost.com. Use code DUNCAN to get 10% off or just click the link in this episode description. Thank you, Load Boost. And you know, the kids helped me, which was really sweet.

The boys helped me and they love it. I don't remember liking helping my parent. The other thing that happened to me today was I was, I don't know what got into me. Like I've been wanting to do this episode of the podcast, maybe it's just procrastinating or something, but I just, I decided like, man, I need to do some like dad shit. So I was like unscrewing a kid seat from this dilapidated bike we don't use anymore and I've got my tools out and let me tell you man, like all you men out there, you would like judge me harshly for my tool situation. Like my tools are a mess. I'm missing wrenches. I don't know the name of the wrenches. I feel real. I have one ball. I know I've talked about that before. I have one testicle

and I don't care. I don't care at all. The only one that I have left works great. I've got plenty of kids. I've got my sperm are very healthy, which working on that. I'm glad I have LB sperm, but it'd be nice to not, you know, because my wife's very fertile. I don't do it, but sometimes I do think about it. Maybe I need to move my phone a little closer to the remaining testicle. My point is, I don't, it doesn't bother me. Like once I was, and I don't think, if people do judge me for it, like they don't do it to my face except, yeah, no one's really done it, except maybe like comedian friends who are fully allowed to do that. But like once I was at dinner with one of my girlfriend's friends and she was like a

real deep like grimy hipster dripping with obscure knowledge and all the like indie rock stars she'd banged and she's kind of you know she didn't know I don't think she knew I had one ball she started out someone else with one bond she goes he's half a man I didn't say anything I judged I judged her horribly in that moment. But I also thought about it, like, hmm, is she right? Just because it upsets me because I'm a one-ball-having man or half-man, maybe. You got to think if someone insults you in a certain way, you gotta wonder, is it true? Are you half a man if you have one ball?

I probably put too much time thinking about that. And then I realized, she's a fucking idiot. But it doesn't bother me. I was actually talking to someone like a, why am I trying to hide stuff here? I was at my therapist and mentioned it for the first time and she's like, you know, that must be really intense, you know, because of what that means culturally. Really, I don't care, like, at all. I mean, it sucked to have cancer, obviously, but I never put a lot of, like, emphasis on my balls. Maybe I, maybe my balls are small.

Like, when I watch porn, it seems like they're pretty comparable, but maybe that's why. I don't know. But my point is, but I'll tell you what does make me feel fucking emasculated is my tool situation. Like my toolbox situation is real bad and I don't know the names of all the tools in there. And like I recognize this is some kind of like cultural stereotype like I who cares You don't know how to use fucking tools, but it bothers me. It really does it bothers me and

Sometimes I feel like man they need to have like harping classes for like old dads who didn't Go to shop class. I would take that. Like just some basic like here's how you like put up drywall or something. Like I want to know that. I don't know why. I think it also it depends on the kind of parent you have. And this is what I was trying to get at. The type of dad I had was not a happy tool using dad. Like I don't know if you had that kind of dad, but I feel I've seen comedians talk about it.

Freddie Soto had a great fucking joke about it, God rest his soul. But like you know like dads who are inexplicably enraged when they're working on anything, like my dad when he was working on something his breathing would be like and inevitably like smash his hand inevitably he would like something would happen a hammer would drop on his foot and holy shit it was terrifying to watch the expletives that would just spray out of his fucking mouth and his face would turn red and God help you if you were nearby Even if you had nothing to do with it. He just it was his fault. He was drinking

You know seven beers in trying to like work on his car. I don't know what we remember It's very foggy, but I remember the terror of watching him explode and God help you if in the midst of them working on something you interrupt him and Cuz like whoa like it was Mount st. Helens like he would it was scary And he would smoke too like back then our parents fucking were completely not ashamed of smoking. Like they would fucking just chain smoke.

So you know, he'd be sitting there working on something, smoking and drinking beers. And then you would come over and be like, hey Dad do you want? So I that was like scary for me but like my sweet sweet kid came over And I mean I didn't explode like that but I was like terse I'm like There's lots of place to play right now. You don't have to be right here. I'm trying to get this baby seat off the bike But that's the other thing like you It's an echo. I felt it. I felt the like dad working on something kid nearby like hyper irritation.

Then like when I was done, I went to my kid. I mean, this is like a lot of dads. We don't know why. Like when we're working on stuff with tools, we get real grumpy and irritable. We're trying to concentrate. And you know, when you're coming over a lot and like almost like knocking the bike over on top of us it's just it's it's just the way it is but you know I love you. That's the way I've been trying to do it right like you know when you when you have the contagion

it's some kind of temporal contagion you know when it started with your great-great-great-grandparents and by the way let me be specific right now I it started with your great-great-great-grandparents. And by the way, let me be specific right now I'm talking about your great-great-great-grandparent I'm not talking about mine. Mine were wonderful fucking people. Beautiful, sweet people, kind. They loved the earth They loved birds and they were the sweetest people in Georgia They got that award. I'm talking about literally you. Your great-great grandparents were fucked up. So I don't know how the poison got into my family, but yours, everyone knows.

Your great-great-great grandparents are fucking horrible people and they scared your great grandparents, you scared your grandparents, you scared your parents, and now you've got to carry the burden of their fear. They're that bad. You know, you can fart in time. I don't think people realize that, that the stinky, the stink of, sort of the temporal flatulence of horrific people continues to radiate out through the years in the form of humans who are secretly or maybe not so secretly dealing with like a series of really bad ways of living in the world. It doesn't take that many people to stink up a generation and your great, great, great grandparents truly, all of this might be their fault. And that's a heavy burden to carry with you.

But as so, to summarize, I realize I guess I'm crusty, I don't want to be, I judge you if you are super into going to theme parks. And by the way, I'm not saying like, it's not, it's fun, I did it. You know, you go to the Disneyland or whatever and you're just like, what the fuck? What the fuck have I done? And that's the right reaction. So all of us do that. That's fine. You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the people who are real frothy over it, really too into it, man, and know like all the ins and outs of the theme park. And they just

bother me. And usually there's a convergence. Those people are ice cream fetishes and they're the same people who really get excited about ice cream. I judge them. And three, I enjoy cleaning out my shed today. I mean, maybe I'm just confessing to you so you know what you're watching. shed today. I mean maybe I'm just confessing to you so you know what you're watching. You know, I love Buddhism. I love God and I know maybe for some Buddhists out there you might think that's weird, like theistic Buddhism. I don't know. And I believe world peace is possible. I think that's one of the weirdest things about me. Like I actually, the other day I was thinking, I realized like I still think there's some possibility that almost instantaneously something can happen

that creates a chain reaction that shifts planetary consciousness into an almost unrecognizable form from where it is right now. In fact, it almost seems like the framework is already is being set up for that to happen, that it's all in place, like everything's being set up. And I think it could really happen, like world peace, like actual world peace, a kind of collective and subjective recognition of true value, which is love and connectivity and selflessness. But I'm telling you, if you're like super excited about going to Disneyland or Disney World, like really into it and you're a-up, it's hard for me to shake that off. I will try, but it's gonna be hard for me to do that. I'm gonna judge you. It's a clay

shit. Like at least I recognize it. At least I'm like, oh, I probably shouldn't do this, but I am. I will. If I see a YouTube video with somebody giving a negative review of a theme park, I'm already pissed off if they don't have kids. What are you fucking doing there? Of course it sucks. Are you crazy? You thought this would work? You thought it'd be fun to go into

like a money milking hypnotic hell maze where you can't even gamble? You know, at least Vegas, it's like, I am the devil. Come here and let me destroy you. Like Disney World is like, it's a, it's a world of laughter, a world of joy, dancing me where I'm a Man, it's a small small world Meanwhile those people in the fucking costumes are getting paid minimum fucking wage sleeping in their cars in the parking lot They're like blasted on meth It's the only way they can get through the fucking day walking around in that fucking giant outfit

There's tunnels under the park, man through the fucking day walking around in that fucking giant outfit and there's tunnels under the park man. You think you have no idea what's going on down there. I've heard stories it's scary. Not to mention the death. You'll never know how many people die in any given theme park per day but I would imagine it more than you more than you think. The other thing that I, a big glacier of mine, that I can't shake off is like adults who throw birthday parties for themselves. Man, that one's real fucking weird to me.

Like I don't know what it is. You know, I think a lot of this could just be like my own like not wanting to die. Maybe something about like people who acknowledge and confront that it's another year or something. There's some courage I'm trying to like put lipstick on this fucking stinking cadaver right now but you know At some point like When you're all like the problem

Here's the problem when you're throwing birthdays for yourself and You're publicizing it in some way, putting on your socials, whatever, is like, at first it seems cool. You know what I mean? Like you're in your 20s, okay, great. You made it out of college and now you're in your 20s, fun.

But then once you start getting up in years and the friends who are at your birthday in the earlier years aren't there anymore. They've gotten married, they've had kids, whatever, they died. Maybe you have new friends, no friends, and you're getting older. Something about it seems really sad and scary. You're in this terrible wrestling match with the reality that you're slowly being aerosolized by time and you think

that by every year doing some kind of ritualistic hedonic blowout, you're extending your lifespan or protecting yourself from the inevitable void that is potentially like around the corner But yeah, I mean also I Fully I Got cut. I'm sorry. I'm good. I try to be very honest in my podcast so I just turned 50 and Poor Aaron has probably heard me say like well for every year that we've been together like don't just I don't want to celebrate my birthday. I don't want any gifts. And then this year she didn't give

me a gift. And you have to understand, like, she's the sweetest person and likes, she would, she likes doing it. Like I had to like tell her over and over, please, I just, I don't want to, I don't, I was born once. Real crusty old bullshit. But I, I can't believe it. Like I've literally told her don't do this and she didn't do it and Like I didn't know how to express it because like I recognize like I've told this person for years Don't do it and then she didn't do it and then I'm like, what the fuck? Why? My 50th birthday like it's a big deal

So I just want all of you people would throw yourselves birthday parties Enjoy theme parks and eat ice cream. You might be the salt of the earth like really as I'm saying it right now on Paper, it sounds great You sound healthy you sound joyful. You're like, yeah, I throw a birthday party for myself. I I want it's hot as I I throw a birthday party for myself. I want it's hot. I love some rocky road. You know, I just, anytime I can make it out to Disney World, it's a joy. I just love the Magic Kingdom.

I mean, you obviously, you sound like way more balanced and like in tune with default reality and this old man who's like, don't want birthdays, not gonna stand in line to get ice cream. I like cleaning out sheds when it's hot, and leaf blowing roaches. Like, so just know I'm cognizant of the fact that like I'm the one, I'm the one here with issues. Not you, not you issues. Not you.

Not you. Not healthy you. Not healthy when you're so healthy. Eating that ice cream, having some hot dogs at the Magic Kingdom. Just walking around at the Magic Kingdom, mid-30s. Just loving it. Just loving it. Oh my God. Did you go to Epcot? No way. I bet you stayed in the park, didn't you? You stayed in the fucking park. Got so excited when you finally met Mickey. That must have felt good to get a hug from Mickey. He's a 35 year old. You're able to forget that inside that fucking costume was probably a 70 year old man. Didn't have a 401k kids they don't talk to him anymore he made some bad parenting decisions now like always got left is like just dressing up like Mickey fucking mouse and that suit just the meds the meds aren't working anymore the heart

medication isn't working anymore he managed to hide it when he got hired that he had a bad heart because if they knew that he had a bad heart there's no fucking way they're gonna let him walk around as Mickey Mouse because he's a ticking time bomb like any day Mickey Mouse is just gonna collapse One of those manholes is gonna open up and he's gonna drag down into the tunnels body yanked out of the suit But It meant a lot when he came and hugged you because you couldn't see inside the suit you can see the tears

he came and hugged you because you couldn't see inside the suit. You couldn't see the tears flowing down those wrinkled cheeks as he realized he kind of looked like his daughter. And he's just thinking about all the fucked up things he did to her like when he made her get a swastika tattoo. But you had a great, I'm glad you had a great time there, healthy ice cream loving person. I bet your shed is filthy Filthy filthy fucking shed. I bet you lock your shed on the birthday parties you throw for yourself. I Don't know much

Juice this camera has or if it's even still rolling, but before we go, I'm going to show you this book. Aaron's been reading. I don't know what happened to her. She suddenly has this stack of books like this. I guess when I was a kid, my mom read Harlequin romances and these are racy romance books, but because we are living in the age of Satan or some kind of escalating age of pure depravity and he needs a he'd as a harlequin romances have evolved into HD Carlton and This is this this is insane. I'm gonna read it to you. I don't know what this is gonna do to the algorithm, but basically like the setup here,

and I wanna spoil this book, the setup of Doesn't Hurt is I guess this lady's a thief and she stole the identity of a shark expert. And so, they're like after she, she like screwed him over, they're hooking up on his boat. I'm trying to find it. Tell me how. He murmurs in my ear, his voice hardening, even with an orgasm on the horizon. An alarm starts ringing in the back of my head when his hand tightens. How what? I choke out, his thrusts becoming more savage. Tell me how you can

fuck me so easily knowing that you've stolen from me. My eyes widen and though my body turns solid stone he doesn't stop rolling his hip. He knows. He's known this whole time and I walk right into his trap like an idiot It's like you're fucking begging for me to break you The whimper breaks through the constrictive barrier as and is creating around my windpipe and my hands fly to his clawing at them to Release me. He doesn't stop thrusting and despite the terror beginning to take over. I'm still on the precipice of You know what? You want to draw blood, baby?

He breathes, forcing my head back until his lips are poised over mine. I could do worse. He whispers, rolling his hips again. His C, I'm sorry, audio listeners, it's for YouTube and this I'm positive that I can't do like listeners it's for YouTube and this I'm positive that I can't do like softcore porn is see you know what that means hitting a spot that has my eyes threatening to roll I forced him ahead desperately trying to bring myself away from oblivion but he's making an impossible when he hits when he hits the spot there let me go I wheezed, scraping my nails harder. I said I'd give you a kiss for coming with me, didn't I?

Unlike you, I'm not a effing liar. And just as the last word slipped from his mouth and his teak- Wait, I'm sorry. I read the wrong character for him. Let me go! I wheezed. I said I'd give you a kisser. With me, didn't I? Unlike you, I'm not an F'ing liar.

And just as the last word slipped from his mouth his teeth, clamp onto my bottom lip and bite hard. I squeal. Thrashing against him as copper fills my mouth. This isn't an F'ing kiss. It feels like he's trying to sever my GD whip from my face. He rips himself away, breathing heavily, my blood smeared across his chin. I'm gasping for breath, terror constricting my chest from the feral look on his face. He's effing scaring me,

and as his eyes zero in on my bleeding lip, I have a sick feeling he hasn't even begun to truly scare me yet. "'Such a pretty sight to see you bleed for me,' he rasps. I don't think I'm the only one." Before his words can be processed, he's forcing my head down. Immediately his intentions become clear. My eyes widen as a horror unlike anything I've ever felt grabs hold of me. Of my heart, my lungs, my entire effing being, no, no, no, I scream, fighting like my life depended on it because my life does end on it.

You wanted to be a shark expert, baby girl. You wanted to take that from me? Then you gotta learn how to eff and swim with them. My pleas are cut off as he finally pushes my head in the water. My eyes open immediately, burning from the salt, but I hardly notice, not when I see the blood from my lips swirling within the seawater. The water where two massive grey-white sharks are lurking. I desperately thrash against him, feeling like the predator in the water is going to come up any second and bite me meanwhile Enzo continues to move

He's like you get the idea of what's happening right now. They're still doing it like you see what's happening here Like this is by the way page 75. This is the very beginning of this fucking book and this and This is the very beginning of this fucking book. And this lady who is a thief who stole this guy's identity is getting banged down on a boat with her head in the water bleeding. Like this guy's like banging her and using her as shark bait simultaneously. And this doesn't hurt is like in this new genre of like

whatever this is like Aaron was like this makes Fifty Shades of Grey seem like nothing. So it's this whole new BDSM genre of like romance books and she has no joke I'm guessing nine of them by her bed now. And apparently there's like book clubs where these milfs just get together and like talk about... It's actually pretty... I might finish this one. What picture of a shark in there? What did you guys think? Wow, that was quite something. Yeah, what did you guys think?

Wow, that was quite something. Yeah, you really know how to wow a crowd. Need a break from another bad karaoke night? Play Ojo, we know how to hit the right notes. Feel the fun with the top 10 hits like Wolf Gold, plus all the latest live casino and slack games, as well as no wagering requirements. Get that Ojo feeling and download the app today. 19 plus, Ontario only, please play responsibly.

Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Well friends, look, I gotta wrap this thing up. Thank you for letting me do solo episodes. I'm sorry if I seem like an old grump. I feel good. I love you. And I love you for watching this. We're gonna do a combination of solo episodes Interviews, I don't know what's next on the horizon for my sweet audio only listeners

Thank you so much for listening to this for all of you. Thank you. I love you. Thank you to our sponsors I gotta get out of here. Happy Memorial Day if you're listening to this on Memorial Day, and God bless you, enjoy your theme park if that's what you like. Enjoy your Memorial Day ice cream. Throw a birthday for yourself. Why not? Doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Underneath all that, whatever that is, that big sort of old too sweet frosting that you've smeared over yourself as you battle against your own mortality, there's a light. Beautiful, beautiful light. So eat your cream, baby.

Love the mouse. Throw a party for yourself. But whatever you do, I'm going to... Don't get on the ships. I'll see you next week. Yeah, what did you guys think? Wow, that was quite something. Yeah, you really know how to wow a crowd. Need a break from another bad karaoke night? Play Ojo, we know how to hit the right notes. Feel the fun with the top 10 hits like Wolf Gold, plus all the latest live casino and slack games,

as well as no wagering requirements. Get that Ojo feeling and download the app today. 19 plus, Ontario only, please play responsibly. Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Feel the fun, play Ojo.