Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 644: Tony Hinchcliffe

Episode Date: October 20, 2024

Tony Hinchcliffe, comedian and host of Kill Tony, re-joins the DTFH! You know Kill Tony, watch it on youtube, listen to the podcast, buy its merch, all that good stuff. You can learn more about Tony on his site, TonyHinchcliffe.com, where you can also see his upcoming tour dates! Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg and Duncan Trussell. This episode is brought to you by: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/duncan and get on your way to being your best self. Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site. Legacy - Visit GiveLegacy.com and use promo code DUNCAN for 10% Off!

Hey pals, it's me, Duncan, hanging out with my pumpkin patch. Vanity FH, it's Tony Hinchcliff. Best to kill something. My hunchback eats pumpkin soup. He turns the pumpkins into food. The food he eats makes his hunch so strong. Loving on your hunchback is never wrong. Pumpkin Patch, pumpkin patch. Did you shave your pumpkin patch? Did you soak your pumpkin scrotch?

Let's go kiss my humpback's hunch. Hunch eats a pumpkin and plops it down. Once was orange, now it's brown. Humpback's Hunch Hunch eats a pumpkin and plops it down Once was orange, now it's brown Witch casts a spell and it goes back up That's how pumpkins grow From my Hunchback's Hump Pumpkin Patch, pumpkin patch

Did you shave your pumpkin patch? Did you soak your pumpkin scrunch? Let's go kiss my humpback's hunch Tying in poop into pumpkins is no mystery The agents called it out for me From the brown we get orange gold It's the oldest story ever told Pumpkin Patch, pumpkin patch

Did you shave your pumpkin patch? Did you soak your pumpkin scrunch? Let's go kiss my humpback's hunch Pumpkin Patch, Pumpkin Patch Did you shave your pumpkin patch? Did you soak your pumpkin scrunch? Let's go kiss my humpback's hunch Tony welcome back hi the show Thank you my pleasure, dude. Okay, so I just want to bring this up because I just realized

How dangerous you are to an entire industry and I just want to show you something jimmy. Kimmel How many viewers do you think he gets per episode? total oh, man Jeez prices write it, you know like More than two million less than two million less, Less, but my guess is that they count the TVs that are left on. Oh, absolutely.

They just stay on, that are in nursing homes, that are in hospitals. Hotels. Hospice, I think he's a hospice specialist. If they're showing Jimmy Kimmel the people who are dying, then those people should go to fucking jail, because that's a crime against humanity. You know, that's the last thing you fucking see.

Speed up the process, free up a bed. That's what happens. When you are like, when someone's lingering in a hospice, they're just like put on the Jimmy Kimmel show. Put on Jimmy Kimmel. They'll be dead in five minutes. Yeah. Just like.

I mean, there's healthy, there's athletes that watch Kimmel and just stop breathing. It's that. That's what he has going on. healthy there's athletes that watch Kimmel and just stop breathing it's it's that that's what he has going on Jimmy Kimmel gets 1 million seven hundred and sixty three thousand total viewers per episode now I don't know this number I don't know if you can find it but guesstimate based on the fact that you have been producing maybe the most popular comedy show right now in the world. Guestimate how much it costs to produce an episode

of the Jimmy Kimmel Show. I know for a fact it costs a lot of money. The rent at the El Capitan Theater has to be obnoxious or they bought it, which is insane. I think he has like 16 writers, so many executive producers, so many network heads focused on it. His salary, yeah, I mean a lot. Security, central casting, the millions millions of assistance the catering like Just you know guess how much you think it cost her episode perhaps it I would say

For 400,000 somewhere on there, and I think that I think that's probably a Conservative conservative numbers so now let me cut to this can you pull this up? Kill Tony Two weeks ago Your podcast it's been up for two weeks and has three point one million views Yeah, dude. So think about that that is

Almost double the viewership of Jimmy Kimmel and I don't know how much it cost to produce your show, but I'm guessing it in that much. It in that much. So this, when you think about it, that's what I'm talking about. What you're seeing there is not just awesome, but is an existential threat to what we've come to know as late night TV. Oh, it's an unbelievable threat.

Let me one-up you here, which is my show's two and a half hours, his show's 60 minutes. After commercial, his show's probably 42 minutes, my show's two and a half hours. Right. My shows two and a half hours right 3.1 times two and a half hours versus one point whatever times 42 Two minutes right or we said right so you know minutes watched is a big deal if Mr.. B. Stephen has a Five minute long video that gets a hundred million views, which is a lot.

That has nothing on a video that is two and a half hours long and has, you know, 20 million viewers. Yeah, yeah. So what you're looking at for the viewer on your show versus Kimmel like if you look at like Cost to be a viewer which you are there is like an invisible cost when you're watching Jimmy Kimmel Aside from like like wondering if you're in hell and this is all about treatment The cost is the commercials. And you're, I guess, paying with time. Even if you're zoning out, you still are forced

to have the corporateocracy jerk off all over your fucking face with weird bullshit. But with your show, it's more bang for the buck. You're not getting blasted with commercials at that level, and you're getting more for it now The reason Jimmy Kimmel show I would say is is better than yours is your show is highly censored You're afraid to say things you're dare. I say woke when I watch your show. I'm like what a flaccid sad

Impotent display this isn't comedy. This seems like you're paid off by the Government you're up there talking about how people should take vaccines Come on, man. That's what I love the most is my blood money You know I came from nothing so when Pfizer offers no, I'm kidding Another interesting thing since you brought it up a real fun fact is the roast of Tom Brady Was the most watched program in Netflix's entire history. Holy shit.

Ever. Watched one point over 1.5 billion minutes. Jesus Christ. Which takes like 13 years to watch 1.5 billion minutes. Wow. The episode of Kill Tony with Shane Gillis is Donald Trump and Adam Ray's Joe Biden. Hilarious. Beat that.

1.5 billion minutes watched to 2.5 billion minutes watched. It holds a YouTube record according to the people from YouTube for retention rate. Anybody that watched it went back and started it where they stopped it the day before or watched it the whole way through. People watched it twice, people watched it three times. YouTube only gives you so many views allowed on each video or else people would abuse the system. Okay. What they do count is minutes watched. Right.

And that's a really big deal. 2.5 five billion So the most watched comedy program of this year was done right around the corner. It's a mother ship Yeah, I want to do a quick bit of math here. Mm-hmm. See how many minutes are in a human life Yeah How many minutes? And so, you know, I think the threat to these things runs pretty deep. I notice SNL is making a movie. Like, what? What are they trying to remind us of?

Because they're just burning money there. Why is SNL making a movie? It's propaganda is what it is. Well, it's confusing. I mean, I am so confused by this math because knowing that there you know it's capitalism there's a profit motive in a lot of especially what network TV is doing and they know that the amount of energy they're expending to make an episode of the Jimmy Kimmel show SNL whatever the fuck it is is so much more than what you are

doing or mr. beast gonna get you mr. beast is more than what you are doing or Mr. Beast, gonna get you Mr. Beast, is doing or what anyone is doing who's like got a massively successful show they've got to know that right and they have to be thinking to themselves how the fuck do we excise this archaic form and get people to start watching TV again and they can't figure it out So that's where I get confused which is like How are they sustaining it? And they're in desperation mode, you know, I've been you know, I'm a fan of very few shows, right and

I usually just rewatch old episodes of the Sopranos But I watched a little house of dragons the last couple years, right? And the beginning of the episode they go, well, listen to the, be sure to listen to the House of Dragons podcast. Well, the, the, the, the, and the Sopranos has a spin-off podcast and the, and a thing into this and of that. And they're trying to catch up. They have no idea what they're doing. And even when they try, have tried in the recent past

to buy their way into podcasting, say Barack and Michelle Obama, or like they give someone a deal for a podcast that hasn't done a podcast, and they think they're buying for this exclusive thing, it's like offering vast sums of money to Wolfgang Puck to play golf. It's not what he does.

They're not podcasters, they don't run a show. They have no idea what they're doing. So they're trying to play this catch up game with, like, Rogan, who has what? 12 years of experience of sitting across the table with somebody that he wants to talk to and having a conversation with them about whatever they want.

Right. And even when they still, even when these shows, these other new shows that are trying to get in the podcast space or these old actors that are trying to get into podcasting because their agents and managers or whatever told them it's a big deal now and they see the money that Rogan's making because the Spotify deal went public. All these people playing catch-up are still going off of a television model. They're so deathly afraid to evolve or to have a conversation and be themselves because they don't even, a lot of them don't even know who themselves are. Whether it's a politician who's been politicianing, whether it's an actor that's been acting, these people have no fucking idea who they are and they're not often not healthy. They're not pure, you know,

it's like they don't work out. They're on, they're medicated up and they're not often not healthy. They're not pure, you know, it's like they don't work out. They're on, they're medicated up because they're listening to their doctors and they're barely holding on for dear life. Little bit more adderall for energy, little bit more of this to mellow it out, little bit of this to do that, little bit of this to do that. They haven't, you know, they're,

you just described my morning of. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's just wild to me and I'm watching them play catch up and it's so interesting because It must be. It continues to grow and to think that, you know, that I have this comedy thing, right? Like kind of like let's just make believe here and say

that the Kill Tony universe is the new comedy central right? Yeah. And Rogan is blatantly the TLC, the men's health, the CNN and Fox News. Right. Gives people news, it gives people fucking a little bit of insight on things, health, all of these different variables. You're Adult Swim. Yeah right. You're fucking the Cartoon Network, you're the fucking, you know, whatever. Andy Kaufman fucking spin-off channel, all the weird shit you have, right? Tom and Christina's like fucking silly family fun.

All of these- They're like satanic view, the satanic view. Yes, but all of these branches happening, even here alone in Austin, Texas, of the media just growing right and growing and every time that Someone tries to get you know someone cancelled or fucking stuff happens or they complain it just draws viewers They go I'm gonna find something to complain about to all listen a Rogan right they get hooked the numbers skyrocket Let me throw a conspiracy so They stop doing that, right?

Well, okay. Here's a conspiracy theory that I just thought of and I haven't looked it up. Probably not true but You know how it is like you I'm sure by now you've met like business people and You realize that you are with like someone from the Mongol horde in a suit. You realize that you are with someone who is pretty much given up the normal ethical systems of the modern world. And they're generally charismatic. There's something about them that's amazing.

But also, they'd probably cut your throat. If they could get away with it and they had to, they'd probably pull you into an alley and just be like, I'm sorry, and just cut your throat like if they could get away with it and they had to they they probably pull you In an alley and just be I'm sorry and just cut your throat and you realize like oh fuck right you business people have to wear the suit You used to wear like loincloths and have fucking arrows that you would shoot into like Knights Visors, whatever they were getting off track here, but the point is So you realize there's a Machiavellian

ethic system when things get like into the upper echelons of capitalism and that is sort of like virtuous to them. It's like American Psycho was the quintessential representation of that modality so like You have to think they know that This watch time there's a there's only a certain number of minutes people can watch anything per day, right? Based on all the people watching so when you're sucking that many minutes away Some amount of those minutes could have gone to these shows that are costing so much money to produce So much money and the more time that goes on, the more I truly believe that it's just really all kind of a propaganda shell, right?

Well, see what I'm saying? Of course, because he's paying their bills. Right. And the agenda is paying their bills and I'm watching football the other day, right? Yeah. And I happen to be getting, I had flown back from Vegas that day after a week there,

an exhausting week. Long story short, the fucking, even at the suite that they put me up at because I was doing a show at the casino, fancy suite with big windows and big blinds, you close the blinds, but guess what? There's one little part of the blind that was open and guess where that's shown?

The top third of the bed. It was unbelievable. Anyway, it compiled day over day, this trip in Vegas, and I was dying. I go home and I hit up my IV nurse lady friend that pumps me filled with vitamins and and and Hydration this is very relatable guys I know you all probably experience being put up in a nice suite at a casino and then your IV girl, right? And I'm not bragging. It's just you know, no, it's levels to it. It's awesome

And so there I am in my living room, getting an IV drip, back home in Austin, Texas, football's on, and there's a commercial with John Legend, and it's a Pfizer commercial. And he's going, I just got my boost, not only for the flu, but also for COVID at the same time. And he's playing piano and he rips off his sleeve, and there's two band-aids there and I say to the nurse, I go, look at this.

Look at what they're saying. Get your flu shot and your COVID booster at the same time. And she goes, you know, you could never do that that way. There would never be a situation where there's two band-aids for your flu shots Because they have to do opposite shoulders in case you have an allergic reaction Jesus they would have to know which one's which right? So there's propaganda on the propaganda on the propaganda on the propaganda that you know Well, you know what that is. That's just like they didn't have enough money to do the other shot

That's all that is. Just put two fucking band-aids on his arm. Who gives a fuck Can't get the fuck out of here. We're already fucking in double overtime. Put two fucking band-aids on his arm. Who gives a fuck? Can I get the fuck out of here? We're already fucking in double overtime. Get this fucking done. Dude, but, but. So let me tell you something else real quick. So after that happened, it's bugging me, right? Cause I'm like, you're right.

They wouldn't even do the two shots and fucking using this John Legend. And I, but obviously it was on normal TV cause I'm watching a football game. Yeah. And time had passed like 20 or 30 TV because I'm watching a football game. And time had passed, like 20 or 30 minutes passed, and it's a football game, so I don't want to rewind and watch the commercial again, but there was something about it that irked me.

So I have my phone in my hand because you're kind of stuck when you're getting an envy trip, right? So I'm on my phone and I type in John Legend, Pfizer, and what pops up is a slew of commercials over many, many, many years. I can't even find this most recent commercial because there's so many commercials and a Twitter partnership. So all of these other ads using John Legend as this guy, as this handsome, right?

Piano playing, you know, healthy, dark, but not black, black, right? Like successful. So to white older ladies, he's just a stud, a romancer to younger women, he's that. To middle-aged women, he's that. Right. And to liberal boys, He's a piano playing

Superstar right get any woman he wines right yeah, so well God what the fuck is my point? Oh, so how many are there those how many are there of those right under our nose where it's like okay? Maybe it's not so blatant that I went John Legend Pfizer. Let me go down this rabbit hole I wasn't expecting to see 45 different damn things over the past 10 years. That's a deep rabbit hole. Well, I mean, who knows how many more there are. It's just only because they went so plain. Sorry, we gotta cut to commercial real quick, sorry.

This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by Pfizer. Guys, did you know right now, it's cold and flu season, and if you head to your local pharmacy, you can get two shots at once. Let me tell you what I hate, going two days in a row to get my shots, because when I get one shot, I'll have a night seizure, and then I'm tired. And sometimes I'm so tired from the night seizures that when I go to get my second shot,

I'm late. And something about getting the two shots back to back Amplifies the paralysis my facial paralysis. So this is brought to you by Pfizer. You can get them both at once dude. Ah This rabbit hole is the rabbit hole It's the rabbit hole man and not only that but guess what comes up after that fucking Pfizer commercial I goddamn motherfucking McDonald's commercial or a fuck right a double wrap Carl's jr. Fine Doritos burrito with extra queso for free free extra queso dude. I love it. You're sick get your flu shot It goes so this is what I love. Here's the pattern Forensic files you're watching forensic files right horrible people dying

commercial for an anti-depressive. You know what I mean? You know when they're like, what shows do we advertise on? Well, what did fucking, what's depressed people? What do they like to watch? They like to watch people die. Perfect. Or an anti-psychotic medication.

Or, and then you get the McDonald's commercial, but then it's a fucking heart medication. It's something for your diabetes. You know, whoa. So blatant that the two things are feeding one another and if you barely scrape this rabbit hole, which I'm sure you have, you find out that everybody's owned, everything's owned by the same goddamn people. So literally why wouldn't you? If you're a money hungry freak that is obsessed with being a multi-billionaire, why wouldn't you? If your family has a private chef and security

and is protected and a family doctor that fucking literally takes care of you, why wouldn't you? If you're that much of a monster, not in the business of making people laugh, not in the business of creating anything, if you just want, and I don't even know what they want, because by the way

You know a yacht. What is it? That will like they have everything right? That's it But like there's at the end of the day there isn't even that much so it's really just a power it's almost the evil is what is the Is the desire dude Dude, okay, so... This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by my friends at BetterHelp. October is here. Halloween, the season for wearing masks, costumes.

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you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Take off that mask with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Duncan today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, ha, H-E-L-P dot com slash Duncan. Thank you, BetterHelp. To add to this very unexpectedly dark conversation. I know I do this sometimes. I love it.

If there's not an audience, I'm learning this about myself. It took me 17 years to learn this and being in the podcast industry forever. But when I'm like one on one, I'm like the worst guest. No you're not. On planet earth. Are you fucking kidding? If there was four people sitting in chairs right behind you, I would be funny.

Let me tell you something, Tony. This is exactly what my dear viewers want. And okay, so let me jump into, this is an, I haven't even looked this up but based on what you just said you can sort of like You can understand the ethics behind the people doing all of this just by what you said like they aren't thinking really about helping people if

They're advertising a poison and then the antidote back to back, right? So here comes podcasting, here comes social media. Suddenly there is an option. Suddenly you don't have to like undergo corporate state propaganda if you want to watch a cool show. Now you can watch a show and you don't have that gross feeling you get When you've seen the fucking ozempic commercial for the seventh fucking time or you've seen John Legend So now you're a threat now anyone who's got a successful podcast Anyone who's like getting into the viewership anyone who's sucking away those eyeballs is a threat

And if and you are just into power. And people who are into power, they don't like it when their power gets taken away. So what better thing to do than to signal boost any bad gossipy shit about people are getting famous that aren't bought? Wouldn't it serve your purpose and it wouldn't be that hard to do? You know because you are running like a studio or because you have been working with actors for a long time They're all lunatics. They're all unhinged. They're all they all got skeletons in the fucking closet

And if they don't have skeletons in the closet, they're prone to weird outbursts and they say things they don't think about, right? So you already know this. So you know it's a matter of time before someone on YouTube, some shit comes out about them. And then all you gotta do, signal boost it, signal boost it. You know, you've got legions of bots, you're paying for bots.

So you just fucking blow that shit up. Oh, they got the money for that, no doubt. So wouldn't you do, if you had no morality or ethics and you recognize the threat, you wanna eliminate the threat. And wouldn't you participate in some background way in that? But literally, and I don't know if they've completely learned it,

but I think they have learned it, because the media's not dissecting Rogan as much. They don't cover me at all, and all the crazy moments that we have on the show. I think, especially with the Rogan thing, it tells me that they're onto the fact that, oof, that was backfiring. That was backfiring.

Massively. Bad, bad, because the people can see what's going on. And if someone does chime in like, yeah, he's an idiot anyway. Right. There's a bunch of people like, no he's not. He's asking questions. He's interviewing the other side too.

Yeah. He's got an answer for that and an answer for that and a question for that and a question for that. He's a guy questioning things. And people are catching on. I mean, it's hard for the older people. It's so weird. Like our older friends and my mother, right?

And it's like, oh, Tony, come on. You don't think the news is bought and paid for. Come on, you don't think that, do you? You and your boys are smoking too much pot and having your conspiracy theories. I'm like, no, mom, it's right there. You have to see it. But the backfire is real with people with common sense

and that are aware. And again, when they tried on Rogan, his numbers skyrocketed because entertainment is entertainment. You can't get it anywhere. I mean, even back only what 15 years ago, Fox News used to have liberal people arguing with their people and CNN used to have conservative people on arguing with their people. Now they don't even let you see the other side. And if they do, it's a fake conservative former conservative. We

have, we brought on, Hey, we're here at CNN, we brought on our senior conservative analyst to literally be like, well, I think things went bad for us today, and vice versa. No, that shit is the funniest shit to watch because it's like they find the most uncharismatic idiot they can find, throw them into the the ring the idiot knows who they are They know that they're the clown of the show and that everything is designed to overturn their their arguments So yeah, all of that shit is good. Like we I think the problem is

the other problem with what you are doing is that Just by you know, suddenly you're watching something that you've never seen before. This is, with your show in particular, man, I'm fascinated by it. Not just because, like, I mean, I met you as a door guy. And so to see you skyrocket to, like, you are now more famous, more popular than any, it's like having Johnny Carson on the fucking show. It's crazy, right?

So just from that perspective and knowing, I'm sorry if this fucks you up, but knowing offstage how you're very sweet. But onstage you're this terrible, dark, evil, fucking monstrous, brutal assassin is cool. But I don't think you could do those jokes if you didn't have that inside of you or people would just think you're a dick. Well, yeah, and plus I'd be miserable

if I was like that all the time. Yeah, well, that, and that's what happens to folks like, anyone like Sean Hannity or anyone, when your job every night is to talk about what's wrong, it crushes your soul. But so, but to me, like, what's really unique about what you're doing is that, number one, what the fuck is your show? And I want to talk about that, but I want to finish this point.

What is it? It's like some mixture of the gong show, but then there's something like it's it's wrestling it's there's all these things these threads in it that that I've never seen woven together like Kill Tony it's so cool it's so fucking cool but the other thing that you're doing which is unique for viewers who have been watching TV or used to it is it is uncensored it is You you've got you've are you're not afraid to say anything all of the fear All of the like you watch someone on a late-night show giving a three-minute interview They have to represent the movie they want to get booked in a movie again a huge part is selling the fucking movie

They don't want to say anything that could risk their future because if they don't they say the wrong thing or whatever Then they're out then they can't book movies anymore. They depend on corporations Picking them in this weird game of like, I don't know after-school baseball If you get picked you want to keep getting picked if you don't get picked you're on fucking cameo By the way, I will be on cameo in November the My point is My point is it is so spectacularly weird yeah, and I am real curious about

How you're dealing with that how you're dealing with suddenly getting you're dealing with that how you're dealing with suddenly getting Rocketed into the fucking stratosphere when you were I think you're parking cars. Yeah, you know that's the only job I technically didn't do even though I did it a few times that was never like my post But I did everything else I sold tickets over the phone. I was a busboy a bag boy I was a waiter a bartender a food runner I was a barista at one point when I needed a second job to pay rent in LA I literally had to work at a fucking Starbucks 17 years ago while sleeping in my car that I would get up on top of the hill after a shift and drive it down

And to be to park down there after all the cars left so that I could get in the back alleyway behind the Comedy Store Yeah, and yeah, I've done it all and that that part to park down there after all the cars left so that I could get in the back alleyway behind the Comedy Store. And yeah, I've done it all. And that part, I never lose track of that guy. You know what I mean? Like I think of him every day. I don't think you could. I don't think you can ever get that out of you.

I think once you've experienced that, it will never go away. And maybe that's one of the distinguishing factors, which is that, you know, a lot of like famous people that you see I think it's lame To like call it like to be like it's a nepo baby or whatever It's like a lot of those nepo babies are they work fucking hard. They're talented You know what I mean, but still they're born into a culture of

Abundance they're born into and a lot of those nepo babies are the first one to overdose so the first one to kill themselves Right first one of this and that that's right. I have no you know I I don't I dislike it when people and I was guilty of this the first like 35 years of my life, right? I always go you know who I naturally dislike are kids that were raised rich right because it was just the opposite I know it's skin color never mattered to me race this that whatever yeah that and then here in Texas really just the past four years I've Come to learn that like wow some of them are cool as fuck right like it It doesn't mean you have to be a piece of shit in LA the rich kids more often not saying all of them not all Them by definitely the rich kids were kind of just shitty assholes. Yeah, and in Texas everybody's nice

So it's like when you're coming from that perspective of like no, you're not necessarily better than everybody or whatever You know you have to generate your own thing, but okay wait hold on let me push back for one second This is what you're experiencing, and I don't I'd again I agree with you, but also Here's the thing I remember when I became the talent coordinator the Comedy Store. I remember the day before, I won't name the comic, but a comic there was just as always, I'm like an unknown dude at the Comedy Store and the fucking successful comics just like use you as a punching bag, just to like,

I think to like take the edge off, they're about to go on stage, so they're just like, let me just fucking antagonize this poor broke dude who's like Definitely never gonna nothing will happen for him anyway, and I just remember one of these comics is like Just in a mean way was being a total dick to me. I barely knew him I just knew there's some somewhat famous and I'm like I guess this is part of the deal the net so That afternoon I became the talent coordinator And I saw that very same comic the next day

They treated me like I was Jesus Christ descending from a fucking cloud It was the most insane shift I had ever experienced and I think when one thing you have to be able to filter out is how many people are reacting to you as the door guy and how many people are like, this is Tony Henge. When you walked in here, when you actually left to park your car, some people walked by and were like, that's Tony Henge, Cliffy Silladot, Madison Square Garden.

I swear to God. So how many people, you have to be able to filter that aspect of your life now. You're at the point now many people, you know, you have to be able to like filter that aspect of your life now. You're at the point now where people, when they get around you, they can't help it. They get fucking nervous. They get freaked out. Yeah. So, you know, your experience of humanity as a whole now is forever permanently altered. You're seeing a side of rich people that they align with other rich people.

Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? You are correct. So you don't know. No doubt about it. With that said, a couple of the main people that I'm talking about, I met when, you met when they hired me to roast their buddy for, during the pandemic or whatever.

And I'm like, all right. Well, artists have always gotten a pass with wealthy people. I mean, that's like, wealthy people like artists. It's the patron model. That's what it used to be like. If you were a good artist, some rich dude, a Duke or something would like just give you money to and you would like paint for them. So this okay, this is something I've been thinking about, about your show.

And I think a lot of people are inspired by your show, not just because like, it's successful, but because it kind of does show a progression. You get to watch people grow, you get to watch what happens if you're hubris, overcomes your wisdom, and you fucking think you can just get in front of a microphone and be funny, and you see how people crash and burn. And so there's all these stories that kind of emerge

in Kill Tony that are really cool and real. And so it's not a reality show, but it has that aspect to it. But what is your philosophy when it comes to showmanship, when it comes to putting on a show because you do have what appears to me to be a very crystallized very strategic very smart methodology when it comes to putting on a show and I'm just curious if you could articulate what that is well the machine runs right over the years the format I've evolved it to

So that it I don't have to prep anything right right? I don't have a monologue I don't do my material mice the stand-up Tony and the host Tony are two different guys So I built the format so strong that I can just plug and play, right? I kind of feel like it's my millennium falcon, right? And I'm Han Solo and I know how to fix things if it goes wrong, but I can just jump in, lower the ramp and jump in and escape any second. And my thing is, and I think this is the sign of any good host, is you make it about who's on and who got pulled out of the bucket. I try my hardest even though during their 60 seconds sometimes I have to fix something

or I notice something's off or something, I have to whisper to RedBan or producer or whatever to do something or to keep an eye on something or what's this or where we at or what's going on, what time, recording is that going is this there's so many different variables like a pilot you have to pay attention yeah but for the most part I'm trying my hardest to pay attention to the 60 seconds from the person and especially in the interview I mean in my mind that's where the party really starts because the minute can go great the minute can go bad nobody really cares yeah about that part that's just the intro really starts, because the minute can go great, the minute can go bad, and nobody really cares about that part.

That's just the intro, you get your own shot, everybody thinks it's about that. And a lot of people, I think early on, especially first time viewers and whatnot, they're like, ooh, they need these comedians to do good for the show to be good. But it's not that at all. If those comedians are bad during their minutes,

the interviews can be obnoxiously great. And the interviews are usually between seven and 12 minutes. So so many people focus on this 60 seconds, but then there's 12 times that coming right at ya in an improvisational interview that's unplanned I don't know anybody I don't know anything maybe they've been on before and even then I don't remember things I my brain doesn't like retain what happens yeah show so I tell them what you know I asked them I go what do

we learn about you last time you were on and hopefully they give me the quick Cliffs notes of I work in a hospice I yeah, I you laughed at me because I have a fake foot or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, and but And I make it about them the bucket pools, right regulars. Tell us more you or you know You were sleeping in a van two years ago. Where's your life at now Hans or whoever? Yeah, get to watch the growth and yeah, it's long-term storytelling. But one of my favorite things about it is even though it's built and the format's strong, the one thing that I do put a lot of effort into,

even though it seems like an easy job, is booking it. Figuring out when and what episodes are people seeing and who would be good now. Okay, they had a black lesbian last week who's going to be good right after that and they haven't had anyone that silly in a while, where would this be good? So that's the part that I can control is the bookings and with that part, you know, a lot of people talk about the growth and the evolution of the bucket pools but one thing that I take great pride in is the growth and evolution of who I have at the table with me maybe I'm introducing them right to someone or

something that they've never heard of that folklore in a comedy world or a fast growing freak you know I exposed the hell out of Shane so early on so many every chance I got cuz I'm like, holy fucking shit. This guy is Frankenstein this is Brock Les... this guy just stomps when it comes to comedy. Yeah, so funny all the time Yeah, you know, he's one of those guys to where he's literally not on just funny. Yep all the time Yeah, if he's having fun, let's get his ass out. These guys, there's so many of them. You know what else, one of the things,

when I've done the show, which you do, which I don't even know if you know you do it, you probably do, you make people feel real comfortable. Like, you know, because there is a kind of sense of trepidation. Like, this is obviously for the guests, not as high stakes as for the people doing their minute or whatever. But still, going on a popular podcast, Rogan, it could be unnerving if you think about, like, how many people are going to be watching it. And you're so good at, like, pulling people

into the moment. You're so good at like pulling people into the moment. You're so good at like calming people down and making people feel funny. Like you are a, you know, okay, there's a name for it. What are they called? A casino, supposedly. I don't know if it's true, but if someone's on a winning streak, supposedly,

they have people that they'll send by the table that are like wet blankets, right? They're fucking like somehow ruin the luxury. Yeah, there's a name for that. I can't remember it In comedy, there's people like that. No doubt they come in the green room It's like someone just died in front of everybody whatever the great conversation was it's over Everything gets weird and awkward and quiet And then there's the opposite. That's who you want your friends to be if you're a comic.

Where when you're around them, they bring some aspect of who you are out. It's funny. Maybe it's because you get in the friendly competition to say the funniest thing or whatever it is. You're like that, you draw something out of people. I want people to destroy. My, when I was a little kid, way before I had business,

like fucking controlling, and remember it was the heavy block TV with the dial. We didn't even have a remote for this old ass TV that we had in my living room as a kid. And any chance I got, if I could go switch that thing late at night to Johnny Carson or David Letterman I was in heaven and that went on forever I would try to stay up as late as I could to catch Letterman even though I had school the next day

Whatever and I think about it a lot because it's like in retrospect type of thing now that Everybody's telling me that I have such a big comedy show, right? Yeah, everyone else has noticed what I kind of thought was possible so long ago. And it's happening is you think of Johnny Carson and David Letterman. And then you have those are the ultimate, highest level goats. Top level, mountain top hosts, comedy hosts. And then what do you have, right? Llano, Fallon, Seth Meyers, Colbert,

all these fucking, Kemmel, all of them. What did these two, what did these two do that these guys that leave a weird taste in your mouth didn't do. You asking me? Yeah, you can tell, right? Well, I, what do you think? They brought on freaks.

They wanted their guests. They didn't care if their guests were getting bigger laughs than them. They're funny too, but you don't have to, do, do, do, it's not a competition at all. The winner is the viewer. Yes! It's a team! It's the show! Not the host.

But dude, this is what you have that I'm really curious about. And if I did that, I wouldn't get them again. If I tried to, I'm sorry to cut you off, but if I was competitive in that way, if I was a weirdo that's like, oh, he's being funnier than me, it's never been that. The only people that don't survive the length, the long-terms of my show historically, and this is like, you know,

are the people that don't listen or pick their timing correctly or try to over-bully things, and it's not hysterical all the time Right if fucking Sam talent or little hobo or Shane Gillis went on in Or yes, I mean little hobos fine fuck him. Yeah. Well. He's he's more of the all right I don't want to derail you, just keep going. He's not a good.

If any one of them went off on a 45 minute long diatribe about this comedian that we pulled out of a bucket, I wouldn't stop it. I wouldn't stop it. If it was crushing and I'm laughing and everybody's laughing, I don't care about the format. This is obviously a special moment in a special episode everything is malleable yeah in the Kill Tony world

sometimes an interview can be bad in last 24 minutes because I think there's something that this person's not telling me sometimes an interview can be decent but the guy's got a cocky attitude and is just kind of like, you know, too cool for school. And I'm like, that's right. But he can write a joke. Maybe his minute was great. OK, here's let me add to this formula, because I think you got it half right.

And I love that you didn't think of what I would consider to be even more primary and even more of something that differentiates the two masters from the derivative, like whatever disintegration of society hosts, presence. They were both completely there with their guests. If there was an agenda, you couldn't see it. And what that meant was that if something unexpected emerged, they wouldn't just shift to the next thing because they're robots, but they would allow that thing to grow

as much as they could within the time constraints. That's what you do. That to me is like, yes, like allowing, not like making it all about you. Yes, bringing on people that are going to surpass you in some way or another. But you can do that all day long. But if you aren't a good listener,

and I don't mean listener like nodding your head at the right time. I mean like if you aren't attuning yourself to the moment with someone, if you aren't allowing spontaneity to take over, then it's like trying to, it might as well be like, you might as well be filming a corpse. The decomposition of a, it's dead.

It's dead. And dude, this is where you weirded me out. And I'm sorry if this is an over-flattering interview. I'm gonna get to how you're a racist in a second. Perfect. The... This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by the geniuses at Squarespace. Introducing Design Intelligence from Squarespace, combining two decades of industry-leading

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because you've inspired them. That's what Squarespace can do for you. You can try all do for you. You can try it all out for free. Just head over to squarespace.com forward slash Duncan and use offer code Duncan to get 10%. You have this creepy ability to, it's real weird and I see it, you do it with your guests, it almost like borders on some kind of psychic power Or it's like, you know in movies that fucking detective or something who like can somehow just see through people It's so under I love you. So I don't care. Yeah that I know you've probably see everything I don't care because I trust you but it's still fucking weird

Like what is that or am I wrong? Are you just pretending to be able to do that it just and by the way, I've talked to other people about it And they're like, yeah, he's basically psychic. So What is that? Yeah, I don't know I don't know what that is but I don't know what that is, but it's a lot, I think a lot of it has to do with the late night sets back in the day, the never ending grind, the,

I love being around people and it is getting hard. You know? It is a challenge. One of my favorite things about Austin when I got here was, you know, and it still is here. Austin is the best place for me. Because, you know, people see me and they're like, oh, this is his home.

If I go up to him now and say, I love you, I love the show, I've thought about this. They're like, if I do it now, then I can't do it later, or else they're gonna recognize me as the guy that went up to them At the ba ba ba right eating dinner or whatever right unless they're visiting Austin and they see me then they go hey I love you. I'm gonna get a picture but ba ba ba right and if I'm anywhere else I've learned as soon as the plane lands and I get off. There's no hesitation from anybody so like holy shit. That's him

Yeah, right he Doesn't live here. This is my one chance. I'll never have this chance again. I have to do it. So I'm kind of safer in Austin. But what I'm getting at is that I'm the guy that loves eating at restaurants and going to see live music is really my main point because I was doing it a lot here during the pandemic and especially when things were a little bit slower and I think that being amongst people and mixing that with being on stage I mean I'm with people a lot yeah like a lot I guess most human beings go out from what I understand one or two nights a week you know what I I mean? Like, that's like crazy. That means I've already lived 70 lives, basically.

Cause I've been basically seven nights a week for ever. Forever. It's crazy. That's crazy. I don't really find any joy in staying at home and watching shows and doing a hobby and playing online chess and then going to sleep. Like you mean what you just described my dream night.

What is that? Or do you, okay, let me ask. Sorry, this is too personal. When you're by yourself, and I know a lot of people like this, do you kind of get weird? You feel weird like when you're around people, like the way I've heard it described is some of us, we relax when we're alone. That's when we do the... Some of us, we only can do that if

we're around people. Like, you know, this is the, I guess, the difference between psychologically healthy people and depressed people. I find great peace when ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha universe, to speak of it out loud. My point is, when it comes to the psychic thing, like staying in tune with humans forever, and never losing that momentum helps a lot. And you mix that with being on stage and doing crowd work and figuring out how to da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Last night, literally on stage last night, I don't do a lot of crowd work.

I don't, I'm not, there's stuff that I'm trying to work on. Right, but when I do first come out, I try to go bing, bang, boom real quick. Just to show them that I can. Right. Right. And I- By big, bing, bang, boom, you mean you come out and eviscerate three random members of your audience before you do your show.

Yes. Yeah. And I go, you're a firefighter. And he goes, nope. I go, what do you do? He goes, I'm a cop. Ah, god damn it. Yeah. I saw the lights and heard the sirens.

Yeah. And I'm kind of making a joke, but I'm really not. Like, and that's a weird example. Wait, what do you mean you saw the lights and heard the sirens? See, it I got you you're a witch No see I knew it like you don't think of yourself in that way, but I'm telling you man. I knew it Thank you God for a second if you only knew I have to cut back. I have to cut back on the edibles I told you that I was in Vegas right.? Yeah. Are you ready for this? Yeah.

So, I can do a thing. This is so stupid. I knew it. We might have to edit this out. We will if you need, if you want to. It's gonna sound insane. No, I'm gonna believe it. So we go to Vegas, right? And normally I'll play a little bit of roulette

at the cheapest little normal table with all the people, da da da da da da da. Well again, shit's gotten crazy, right? And not only that, but it's my big ass show that's been plastered on the side of a giant hotel in Vegas the next night. So people are staying there for that, this, that and everything.

So I'm already mobbed in the regular part of the casino. Which is fine, I love the people people and anybody who's ever met me I'll tell you I was nice. I took a picture and then I moved on whatever But it's just it was overwhelming. Yeah, it's a lot It is just people see you taking a picture and then they want a picture and they're like, why's everybody take it turns into a meet-and-greet Immediately everywhere is a meet-and-greet Anyway, my buddy goes why don't we go to the high roller section? I'll play a few hands of blackjack because we had to kill 30 minutes before

dinner. So all of a sudden I'm at the high roller roulette table for the first time in my life because I was getting bored. I don't want to watch somebody play blackjack, right? But I see over there and I have four numbers that I always play at a roulette table. One, three, seven, and nine. They're all red and nine is my main number and seven's my second favorite number, and three is my third, and one is my fourth favorite number. But now the minimum is,

no, it's 100. You have to have $100 on the table to be able to even play, whereas normally a roulette table out there, it's 15 or 25 or whatever. Fucking adds up. Right. So I go 25, 25, 25, 25, and 25 and as the balls rolling and this has always been what happens to me playing roulette

But never before have I been to the high roller table I look at the little slots on my number and usually I'll follow nine around Yeah, and I'll stare right at that slot as it's going around and around and I'll kind of be glancing at the ball But I'll never lose track of where the nine slot is. And I'm staring and what I do is I picture, I literally not picture it falling into the hole, I envision and try to feel the feeling of it already fell in that hole.

Already fell in, I can't believe I just won. But I have to convince, I have to convince myself like truly like, you have to like trick the universe. Even though, again, I'm aware that this sounds crazy. No it doesn't. But you know, I put whatever, I started with the hundred, I put a hundred down, I play the numbers, I stare at nine, as the the balls getting closer to falling I really start picturing Thank God

I can't believe I won my first game of the day of the week of roulette like this is crazy and click click click click 38 or whatever fucking numbers and film lands right in the nine. I go woo right blah blah blah blah. I keep doing it again and again and I start saying to myself oh my god you're on one of those Vegas runs on the second roll. I go you're on one of those runs. I'm trying to literally summon it to match up with me. I'm doing the end part first like a Tarantino film. But it's not like, I can't believe I won out loud. It's like an interior baking. Right, it's like a, it's like the breath

that can heat you up. But you're envisioning, envisioning, envisioning. And then boom, does it again, does it again, does it again, does it again, does it again, does it. Nobody, all the other people, the pit bosses, pit bosses literally like you know hunching over staring doing the math They're like do you have a player's card like now? I just got here. I don't do that I'm just playing right like can we see your ID whatever you know let me ask you this $35,000 wow yeah in 45 minutes when so I'm just curious

When you sold your soul to Lucifer Do you sign with a quill pen or do they use ball points now? Blood but not my blood Is one of your children? He was one of your children Duncan. Jeez, not even you take my children's name out of your mouth! It's a syringe. Here's why what you're saying is not weird. At all. And in fact, it sounds, if you read like Ernest Holmes, if you read any of that stuff at all.

Oh my god, dude. It's so funny. So, you know, by now everyone's heard of the sort of like secret yeah new age manifestation and but they don't get into the deeper like philosophy behind it and so there's a few people who write about it one of them being Ernest Holmes now Ernest Holmes you just described in great detail exactly the way these people say to manifest, which is you, okay, so this is how they put it. When you want something, I want a new car. Really what's happening there is an expression of lack. You want the car, you don't have it.

And because the universe resonates with just the feeling you have, it doesn't have it. And because the universe resonates with just the feeling you have, it doesn't care what you want. It's resonating with the feeling of not having a car. And so because of that, the universe, you're part of it, it conforms to that. So it's like, oh, yeah, no car, no problem. You don't have the car.

So his recommendation is, it sounds insane, and that's why when you were talking about it, like, I'm going gonna have to cut this, his recommendation is you don't want anything. You have it. The moment you want it, you affirm the lack. And so you envision, this is the, I remember reading him like, whoa, that's nuts.

So let's say you want that car. Number one, don't think about how, one thing that will stop you from being able to do this That's nuts. So let's say you want that car number one Don't think about how you one thing that will stop you from being able to do this is you'll think well There's no fucking way I can get that car. I would have to win the lottery or that's not your job Don't worry about how you're gonna get it though. The means it's the path you take Irrelevant so then and also if you start thinking about that, what are you gonna feel? More lack, more impossibility. And his point is like, you are in a universe

that sprang out of nothing and made elephants, giraffes. You really think it can't figure out how to get you that stupid fucking car? So you eliminate the way you're gonna do it. And then he says, this is how he put it, imagine sitting at a dinner with a close friend and your friend is saying to you, wow, how did you do that?

That's incredible. And then feel it. Feel the feeling of having it. And if you can pull that off, it will come. And then don't worry about it either. And the other thing is don't worry about it. You can't then be like, where's my car? More lack.

The main thing is you must, and my theory on this, I'd love to know your thoughts on this, and I'll like double freak you here. I'll up your weird. I think there could be parallel timelines. And I think that the way we navigate through those parallel timelines is not like time jumping or opening wormholes, but rather

Believing fully that that's where we're at. Yeah, and the moment you do that you shift into a brand new Universe everything's different, but it looks the same. That's what you're doing and that's so cool, man. That's wild Yeah, it's just weird cuz roulette is stupid as it sounds and I'm positive that 99% of the listeners are like you got lucky on roulette What are you talking about? You couldn't do that again? Why don't you just sit there and do that all the time then? Well, first of all, it was exhausting right I realized that immediately. Because the adrenaline from that, I was scheduled to have a dinner. Remember I just had to kill like 40 minutes. That's how I ended up there in the first place. I'm

not even that big of a gambler. I just always thought the idea of trying to draw a ball into your lucky numbers is cool and fun and hard to do. And if you hit, you really won, right? Whereas if you're playing a player, you're playing two, basically everything else is war. Yeah. In Vegas, right? My card better than your card, I got lucky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. So it's almost 50-50, but the hell, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, it ended up messing so much up. It ended up messing up. You think, oh, you took a hundred dollar bill and turned it into $35,000 in 40 minutes. Crazy. Crazy.

But guess what? What? That ended up upping my adrenaline and my fucking zippiness so much that when I was at that dinner I couldn't eat. Right. And the nice restaurant that was attached to the casino made to just be nice and to look cool they made me an espresso martini with the Kill Tony logo in the foam.

Fucking cool. Right? And I'm like, God, it's beautiful. You know, somebody takes a picture, I take a sip of the espresso martini. Now because of the upped adrenaline now I'm drinking an espresso martini on an empty stomach after flying into Las Vegas without any rest, right? Yeah, right and and all of a sudden that it's an anxiety attack. It starts taking from you. Yeah, right I can't go to sleep that I don't fall asleep that night until fucking 530 a.m

I can't go to sleep that I don't fall asleep that night until fucking 5 30 a.m Because of the adrenaline run from earlier. I get the again the busboy fucking The busboy Tony Hinchcliffe can't believe right that I just made more money than I made my first Five years of being an adult in 40 minutes. Yeah, so what are you saying? You're saying that it's bad to do that? You're saying you shouldn't have done that? That there is no, I'm glad I did it, but there is an opposite reaction to everything. Right.

Because I did have a big show the next day. So not going to bed until 5.30, all of a sudden puts my, first of all, my health, right? Yeah. So then the next day I'm having my first meal at one or two p.m. and I'm not paying attention because I was up all night. So the first bite of this chicken noodle

fancy Chinese dish that I got, I'm like, oh look, there's a little big clump of rice on top. I got my chopsticks and I'm like, I'm gonna eat that first. Turns out it was fucking pure minced garlic. Jesus Christ. And like it was, I had already started chewing it because I so assumed that it was rice that by that point I don't want to spit it out, I'm at a table with people so I swallow it down and I'm like, I just ate fucking pure garlic. So guess what that does? Messes up

the rest of the meal for me. Because you're a vampire. Well yeah. Hahahaha You're using vampire powers at the roulette table and then some asshole gives you garlic. But it does. The pure garlic takes away my appetite. So now I didn't eat dinner the day before

and I can only eat two bites of these noodles because the garlic fucking overheats your system system like garlics a fucking powerful thing It turns out vampire or not a vampire your garlic is like it's a natural remedy Exactly, so if you if your body's fine, but you're tired and this and that only knows what it does But I'll tell you what it did with me Which is it killed my appetite immediately and I was starving before that because I hadn't eaten dinner the fucking night before And it all starts with what 35 grand? So what's the 35 grand worth when you're about to record a huge episode on an empty stomach? And you're fucking god, that's weird dehydrated because you went to bed late

You're fucking trying to catch back up right? No one taught you this kind of math My guess is if you're born into a family of show people, and you're a show person, man, did you, were you a theater kid? I wasn't. The theater lady wanted me to be a theater kid and she was spot on it turns out, but I always thought theater was like, gay. Well, so I was on the wrestling team. Well, Tony, you are, look, you, so within, you know,

I was a theater kid. And like, you are taught everything that you're talking about. You're taught this is not about you. It doesn't matter if you're the lead in the play, it doesn't matter if you have a walk-on role. This is for the people, not you. We're just trying to put on a good show,

get yourself out of it and realize this, this is something for them. And we're a team, we're just trying to put on a good show, get yourself out of it and realize this is something for them and we're a team, we all are a machine and the person backstage getting the costumes ready, they're just as important if we look at it from that perspective, it's an organism, it's like you can't value your liver more than your heart, you need them both to survive. And so you're a show person, but you have this completely bizarre story

about how you got here, and so no one taught you this kind of stuff. Which by the way, you're in such rare air that doing that kind of math, realizing that, oh my God, every moment of my life leading up to a show is an investment in that show being good, which is why you're a great entertainer

because a lot of fucking people don't think that way. But when you start doing that kind of math, your whole life becomes about your show. It's the most insane kind of discipline that only shows up in very rare performers. Fucking crazy. And I have to ask, man, how you doing with that? Because that's a lot of pressure, man.

And you're always, when we're in the green room, I think you're underplaying how hard you're working to some degree. And I don't think you're doing that to be humble or anything. I just think you're like someone who's been running a marathon for the last decade. And you just feel like you're walking. So how are you handling that,

the growing recognition that, yeah, you're free. You get to like do anything you want. You get to be in the nice fucking thing and they're making things for you and all the things. Right. And yet, because you've prioritized the show over your own life. Right.

Those things become somewhat meaningless. Totally. How are you dealing with that? It's a, it's a challenge and it is constant upkeep. Luckily, I have a show that's mine and I evolved it to what I love. I keep it exciting for me. It's all me making the decisions of who you see,

when you see them, other than the bucket, the regulars, the this, the that, this golden ticket winner wants to go up this week, maybe take another week or two off, we're gonna let this golden ticket winner go, I think it's time for them, I wanna see growth in them, or a thing with this or that. I keep it interesting for me.

I've just finished this Vince McMahon documentary. Did you watch it? No. You have to watch it. No. It's five part unbelievable Netflix doc. Okay, you're gonna attack me. Yeah.

Who's Vince McMahon? Oh my God. P.T. Barnum, he's the creator and- Oh, the wrestling dude. Yeah. Yes. And so, you know know I was reminded of and and really didn't learn a lot from it but was just re-inspired by watching it yeah

because lately and again like for example the numbers that I mentioned about the Shane Adam Ray Trump Biden episodes surpassing the most watched program in Netflix history. The only reason I know that is because I was given the numbers a few weeks ago because my managers and agents thought I would like to see that because it's a juggernaut accomplishment. But I'm not a numbers guy. I'm not that guy. Even when my right hand man, Yoni, is like,

you know, our YouTube growth is up 250% week over week and da da da da da. You don't care. I don't care, it's not my thing. I'm always just focused on the creative and who's being funny and how can this show be the best? Should we start with this and end with that? How about the band?

What's the addition or the thing we can take away? But when I heard of those numbers and saw them in actual print and saw the rankings of Everybody's comedy specials they threw the kill Tony episodes in with Everybody's comedy specials. They started calling on the on these data charts They started calling every episode of Kiltonia a comedy special. Whoa. So you see all of a sudden, oh shit, we're 29 of the top 50 comedy specials of the year. 29 of the top 50, including number one, including number four, number five, seven, eight, nine.

So is that unnerving or inspiring for you? It was both. Don't look down. It was very unnerving. Don't look down. Exactly, that's exactly it. Don't look down. So a few weeks ago when I saw that,

I was like, fuck, God, shit. Exactly, don't look down is the fucking smartest way I've thought about it or heard it put. Friends, when I got testicular cancer, one of the least enjoyable masturbatory experiences I ever had was when I was sent to a fertility clinic to have my sperm frozen in case the radiation treatment blasted those poor little babies and turned them into ash. It was no fun. That brings me to today's beloved sponsor, Legacy. Wow. This is true luxury, Legacy. Wow, this is true luxury friends.

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that my head was tilted up again right because I'm looking at what Vince McMahon was doing the entire time and he didn't go holy shit we've been number one every Monday on cable for 28 years and oh my god we're fucking doing arenas every fucking day we're doing arenas five nights a week and I have to go to all these fucking places and control this shit He was going, you know, how do I give these how do I move this fucking crowd? How do I do it now? He's only competing with himself. It's his universe. He's right He's the one that's witnessed at all. See that's a that's a thing with kill

Tony is like I've been there for all of them. So I know more than what anybody knows, right? And that's kind of a Vince thing. He's right there watching everything and he's not writing it, it's not all planned like what we think. The finishes in pro wrestling are planned but when it was at its best, when it was truly at its best, the attitude era

where you know Stone Cold and The Rock, and it was the late 90s, early 2000s and all that, he was letting them write their stuff, and he was deciding where and what position, how should the episode start? It started with the glass breaking, Stone Cold walks out and he says he's sick of The Rock fucking doing this and calls out the rock for that night. It gets interrupted and we take it to WrestleMania

or whatever, you know, he was doing a loose outline, which is exactly what I'm doing with Kill Tony. And it's, you know, there's no wrestling obviously, but it is, you hope that the people that wanna do great, do great, and you give them an opportunity, and it's not for everybody, and you have to be a freak, and you have to have a special skill set, and some people hate William and love Cam.

Some people love Cam and hate William. Some people hated William early on, and they all love William now. William is the most beloved character in the Kill Tony universe. Probably if I had to guess with a 98.7 approval rating amongst all the fans. But a fun fact about that is that early on

when I made William a regular five or six years ago, everybody, and I mean fucking everybody online, but most importantly in real life my close friends at the Comedy Store Yeah, the management at the Comedy Store the waitresses at the Comedy Store everybody sure he was Extreme alcoholic everyone had sex with a sweaty everyone fucked William. That was the craziest thing He was the manager remember he was fucking everyone there But everybody hated William

Yeah, everybody did I'm telling you but you saw lowest approval rating and but you saw something absolutely You saw the spark in there. Yeah, you know, let me tell you about William, man This is like because we're friends and like when you're friends with somebody, and honestly I don't watch podcasts that much, but so I was like, I mean I obviously knew your show would like blown up, but this is when I really realized how much it blown up. I started taking William on the road.

And he would come on stage, and the cheers were not the cheers that you would get when you're bringing a feature Who's funny, but people don't know right and I realized like He's fucking moving tickets man like whoa. This is I and then it all clicked. It's like oh my god I'm taking someone on the road who's been on the Tonight Show Countless times Every week. He's put out, you know, William alone has put out more comedy than in the last five years plus

than Chappelle, Louie, Bill Burr, Segura, Bert Kreischer combined. There's no question about it. And he's so funny. At about seven or eight minutes and he's being funny the whole interview. We know how to do the dance. So this is like, this territory that we're in here,

and this is Mitzi territory, she had the same gift. She, I would watch her pass people and just think to myself, what the fuck? Then the next thing you know, they're selling out Madison, not you. I'm not gonna say, like. No, that makes you a spy. Because I didn't know comedy.

I didn't know what to look for. I was not even doing comedy at the time. I had no idea, but she would see something Yeah, she would put them up night after night after night They would bomb bomb bomb die bomb bomb bomb all of a sudden Something happened. Yeah, and Comics would start coming to watch their sets and like just this crazy and the fun fact is that the fans you're exactly right And the fans never knew that other person

We saw that other you saw that other person that never they only saw the star All right, and that's what people are seeing with really everybody. I mean everyone other than cam cam came on He's just a natural. It's what you hear about when you hear about 15 year old Eddie Murphy or 15 year old Dave Chappelle, right? We're seeing him two years in. Blowing up. Which is crazy. Yeah. And, but you're exactly right and it's interesting to me because I'm obsessed

and always have been obsessed with Mitzi. Probably the closest thing to godlike worship that I've had in my life. I knew that if I got a door job at that comedy store, at the Church of Darkness and Free Speech, that I would work in that industry for the rest of my life. All I needed was that T-shirt to get, to change my life.

I was positive. To this day, I mean, even at my home, I have Jeff Scott's piano that was in his house with a picture of Mitzi on it, and it's the only hard copy picture that's anywhere in my giant living space. Dude, he loved you, man. Yeah.

And you know, so this... But I'm a big believer in that is my point And I feel like again, that's the universe being like if you believe in this well, then here's this well You know it is a school You know the comedy stories of school and it does teach not just how to do stand-up it teaches a way of being around People it like gets you ready if you do feature for somebody how to not be an asshole in the green room Which I don't think people understand how important that is. Like, so many little, like, there's so much more than your, obviously being funny on stage is the primary job, but there's a lot of other things you have to learn.

Totally. Taking care of the little people, you know, being able to hang around, being able to control your alcohol or marijuana or anything. Yes. Consumption, right? It does teach that. You can have anything. You can have anything you want. Is water good for you right now? Right. Is a shot of, half a shot of tequila what you need?

Is a coffee what you need? Personal responsibility. Is a coffee with cream gonna upset your stomach or straight coffee? Or is it, is it a half a water and a half a coffee? You know what it always was for me, baby? Kratom. Yeah.

100% of the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, wait, hold on. I have to ask this, and it is a little gossipy and scintillating, and I'm really not trying to needle somebody here,

and you probably aren't even aware of it because you're too busy, but you know this whole Chaperone controversy that's happening right now? I know about this because my wife. What is it? So Chaparone is a performer and it blew up. Like she was like, I think she was like not busking, but just someone who ended up kind of like,

you know, getting super famous. And she like is becoming increasingly less, seemingly less beloved because she posted some fucking TikTok about how, hey, don't just approach me on the street and talk to me. You wouldn't do that to whoever. Like, it's not cool. She's basically telling people don't ask to take pictures with me.

You know, like it's unnerving and I don't like it. Pretty much the opposite of what you're talking about, right? But then it's getting worse because she has started canceling shows. And I think because she was upset by people getting mad at her for not endorsing Kamala Harris or some shit. Again, I'm loosely following this.

My wife sends me a bunch of fucking chaperone TikToks and I watch them. So I'm curious what you think about that, because it seems like in the culture, you have a kind of old school approach to what you're doing. It's old school. It's like, I'm gonna take pictures with people. Yeah, it's fucking annoying.

Yeah, I'm gonna get a cold. Yeah, but these are the people who are giving me a life that I have They are a hundred percent all that matters without them I'm nothing but and I don't just mean in like with fame or that but a general like I don't know what you would call It like a more me centric. I Don't know like people who like feel like I've canceled I don't know, like people who feel like, I've canceled shows twice, Tony. Once when I had COVID, during the COVID scare,

and I was thinking about doing it, but I knew if I do it and I test positive for COVID, I'm gonna get people saying, I can't do it. I didn't do it. Stayed in, it was here, stayed in a fucking hotel for seven days, the Van Zandt. The second time was in San Francisco when I had goddamn norovirus. And I made it to the club. I was here, staying in a fucking hotel for seven days, the Van Zandt. The second time was in San Francisco

when I had goddamn norovirus. And I made it to the club. And they put a bucket next to the stage that I could go and vomit in if I had to throw up during the show. Yeah, I had that up and went to Manchester, England. Got sick in Dublin, had to fly there. Yeah, worst.

To me, this is what I learned from Mitzi from the Comedy Store from being around So many different performers is it all that matters is the fucking audience Yeah, you do not cancel a show right unless you are dying like unless you just Fucking do it 100% so but I do feel like not just in that form but like there's something in the culture embracing like I don't know like like weakness Embracing some some well if that's what you're doing if that's what you're putting out. That's the fan base. You're gonna get That's the fan base you're gonna get if you you're a victim, guess what your audience is.

Bunch of victims. I can relate to that. The world's cherry's hard on me too. If you are, yeah. It's magic. It's like, oh my God. It is what we were talking about with Roulette. The people who come to your shows

are some form, expression of your art. Oh, no doubt. Whoa. One of the most inspired things that I ever saw artistically, which I wasn't expecting. I thought I was just gonna go see Tom Petty and fucking jam out at the whatever Hollywood Bowl or wherever it was.

And we went, we saw Tom Petty and I looked around and there's fucking White kids there's white grandparents. There's white teenagers. There's Asian middle-aged people. There's black kids Yeah, there's black elderly people. There's Mexican kids, there's black elderly people, there's Mexican 40 year old couple, there's Mexican kids, there's this, there's that, there's a Jamaican guy with fucking thing, it was a fucking human rainbow, fat people, skinny people, this, that, it's the broadest range of an audience I've ever seen and I was like, wow, this is what I want, right? And you got it.

That is so cool. And yeah, and it's, and, and, but it's especially that victim thing. Like it's like, you know, I don't even know this girl that you're talking about. So the fact that the first impression of explaining who it is, is that it's like, well, that's who they are. Yeah. Who they are is who they are if you can if you had to describe an artist in 30 seconds and apart as well She didn't want to be around the people so she's canceling some shows. It's like woof Hmm, how do you even buy a ticket to that if that's part of her identity is?

People are like posting like again. My wife keeps me tuned in to what the Youngs are doing. But the people are sending, doing TikToks, like, I bought plane tickets. I got hotel rooms. My kids are so excited to fucking see you. What do you mean you're canceling because you just feel a little weird? Hey there. It's your friends from Toyota. We see you eyeing that Tundra. Already picturing yourself hauling so much firewood

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whoever they're going with. People are planning to ask someone to marry them fucking there. You know, you better have like Michael Jacksoned your ass if you're canceling these fucking shows, not like you feel bad. Oh, oh my God. I, a couple gigs that I've missed recently,

I had to reschedule two shows in Florida to do the Tom Brady roast, which was the biggest thing to happen in my mainstream career ever. Right? And that was a reschedule with a thing that I wrote myself for the email blast, which is, you know, if you want to refund, you got it. If not, these dates are locked for two months from now.

Here's the rescheduled dates. And basically fucking statistically, nobody got a refund. Everybody's like like how cool and I basically said You know, I can't say exactly what I'm doing, but it's gonna be a big deal And when you see it, you're gonna love it and you're gonna know Wow He was gonna be with us this yeah, and and ba ba ba ba and the other one was Philly Which it was the largest amount of rain recorded at JFK Airport and the upper East Coast since the 1940s.

And we're at the airport and we're flying the day off and it turns out there was like a riot in Baltimore or something. So all these backup airports wouldn't work. New York wouldn't work. Philly. Oh, it was the riots were in Philly. Remember when there was crazy fucking Philly oh was the riots were in Philly remember when there was crazy fucking yeah, right? Yes, that was the night of my Jesus cry long-awaited big theater show there And it just so happened that also in the riots on top of the crazy riots New York Baltimore covered covered covered in tens of inches of rain so all the backup airports were busted and Philly's airport was busted and I have never been more fucking drained and depressed. Literally depressed, which

is a rare, rare, rare bird. Luckily, thank God, knock on wood in my life. But it crushed me. But at the airport, when I'm like, well, there's no other options. And we tried everything, we exerted everything, even looked into a fucking private flight, which ended up not making any physical sense, right? And I'm like, well, at least we get tonight off. Tomorrow, guys, we'll meet here at the airport. Turns out our flight's been rescheduled. We're gonna make the other gig wherever that was,

Buffalo or whatever. So we're gonna meet here at 11.30 for our 12 p.m. or 12 or 1 p.m. flight okay and and I thought to myself but at least we have today off that's pretty cool and I pictured like the swimming pool or whatever yeah I was going to do and I was miserable for the rest of the day yeah could not shake thinking about Philly about how god damn it yeah thousands of, thousands sold out show. Yeah. They're dealing with fucking riots.

It should be tonight. Right man. It should be this is when they need it. Yeah. Not in two months when there's no riots. Wow dude. And it bothered me. So not only not cancel shows,

not only this and that, but even when being relieved from the stress of the airport and given a night off of work, it crushed me. You still couldn't relax. For the rest of the night. Yeah. I was miserable.

Well, your brain thought you were gonna do this thing and you didn't get to, you had your brain on blue balls essentially. It had nothing to do with me. Honestly, even though this sounds gay as fuck, it had nothing to do with me. Honestly, even though this sounds gay as fuck, it had nothing to do with me. It was literally, I could not shake. Out of the thousands of people, let's just be humble

and say a couple hundred of them really needed it, I couldn't shake them all day, all night. It wasn't a day off at all, because all I thought about was that show. That is- Instead of even if I flew to the show and was at the hotel and eating dinner before the show, I'm not thinking about the show the whole time. At that point in the tour, I have the hour pretty locked and fucking light improvisation, but the set was set and the lineup was set and everything was set.

I've thought about it more not flying to the show and doing the show than I would have had I gone to the show and done the show. I thought about this show all night. I was texting a couple close friends like, God fucking damn it, I cannot shake the fact that I missed this fucking Philly show. Yeah, man, it's a bad feeling.

And look, we have almost, we're way over time now, but one last thing I do want to say you are amazing Tony Inchcliffe is gonna be donating What is it the next month of proceeds from kill Tony to Western North Carolina's? Survivor ash to many funds there. I'm gonna make it rain on you. Yeah, and why are we handling that? I'm gonna make it rain on you. Yeah, and while we handling that Fusion here your funds are gonna be flooded He is doing a benefit at the mothership but by the time you see this it'll be over Tony What's the benefit called drowning and clowning fucking damn it? What's it called? Oh? waddle and clowning. God fucking damn it. What's it called? A wattle?

No, I was trying to do like, I was trying to do like a clip to help raise awareness to get money over there. And I realized I'm drinking liquid death on camera. We had to fucking shoot it again. I can't have this in the shot. But they need help. Friends, and Tony is doing this. Man, you're so generous with your time.

Thank you so much, man. Thank you so much. I'd like to apologize to the listeners for not being funny once this entire episode. But when you and I get together, you know, it's a different thing. It does. You make me want to get deep. I've always fucking looked up to you, and I think you're just so smart and fucking cool. You're such a wise wise sage of a big brother to me. Thank you. And a true comedy store guy which again is my religion so like when I got there and you

existed it just made me know I was at the right place and that I was on the right path so I love you forever. I love you too and now that I know you're a sorcerer I love you even more. Red 9 baby. Yeah Red 9! See you guys later. Thank you too. And now that I know you're a sorcerer, I love you even more. Red nine, baby. Yeah, red nine! See you guys later. Thank you, Tony, you're the best. Thank you.