Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 683: Soloooooooooooooo

Episode Date: April 20, 2025

Katy-Cats! Our queen has returned from the stars, but she's under attack! Form up and get ready to Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss with chapter president Duncan Trussell. Seattle family! Duncan is coming to the Capitol Hill Comedy Club & Bar, April 24-26. Get your tickets now!

Hello, welcome to the DTFH LIVE! This is so exciting. It was so fun last week. I wanted to do it again this week, and I'm glad. We have a master at the helm, my dear friend Josh Kabaza from Comedy Frequency. Let's give him a round of applause. This would not be possible without his hard work,

his genius, his technical know-how, his diligence, his fortitude, his constitution, he stands like a barrier between this podcast and the forces of chaos that want to take down our consciousness and make us timid little shuddering bitches. Oh no, not Josh. He won't let us do that. And he knows how. So thanks, Josh, I appreciate it. No problem. Oh, I'm glad we're here. Oh, there's so much to talk about. I mean, this is incredible seeing you all here. Thank you for joining us.

Listen, I don't know where to start. Maybe you guys decide. You know, I don't wanna, I hate it when people do this to me. I really do. And I have friends who do this and it's cloying and it bothers me. But when I'm on a news bender,

I'll talk to some of my friends and they will say things like, you know, I don't even know what's going on. I don't watch the news. And oh, don't you just wanna fucking rip their face off when someone says, don't you just wanna kill them? You know, because it's the oh, I'm sorry Oh noble transcendent one who's turned their back on the world and sits on some

high mountain peak watching the birds fly by and meditating while I've got my Fucking face shoved right up the ass of media Satan. But it's you know there's something beautiful in that. Now I don't know exactly what is going on with me as far as that goes but I'm not on a news bender. Okay, so maybe I'm just prefacing what I'm about to talk about and why I'm going to talk about it with just know I will be on a new as soon as 4chan's back up.

I'll be back in hell but you know I was talking to my wife and she's like didn't didn't you hear about like Katy Perry and you know all those assholes that went up in space and I had not I knew it was happening I knew Bezos was sending his wife and some other gals up there to gallivant among the stars. But I just kind of tuned it out. I didn't really care one way or the other. Though I did think for a moment that he might be trying... This is like maybe the most brilliant way that like if you... Like okay, Bezoszos He lost a lot of money in the last divorce and I was just thinking like dude I would not go up there if I was married him even if the marriage seemed like it was going great

because it just seemed like a way to sort of my paranoid ass just thought he's gonna blow the fucking thing up and Collect all the insurance and simultaneously probably doesn't like Katy Perry and just like a way to take three birds or four birds with one stone is what I actually thought. I thought it's gonna be like a challenger disaster but with with like, you know, beautiful women. Which it wasn't but I mean that's why I tuned it out, because I still remember the Challenger disaster. That's how old I am.

I was sitting on my couch. I'd call it, I was sick. And I wasn't really sick. You know, I know I wasn't sick because in those days, I don't think parents understood how dangerous sugar was. And my mom would just buy us cookies. And I was just shoving my face full of Keebler elves, which I would do.

She had to go to work. God damn it. What's better than that when you call in sick? Not even call in sick, you're just sick. You gaslight your mom enough that she believes you. Now your fat ass is just on the couch shoving Keebler elves in your mouth watching Wheel of Fortune. Maybe it was Price is Right.

I was in heaven, dude. It was great. And then the Challenger disaster stuff popped up. And I don't know. I think it really did disturb me a little bit. And I just didn't, I didn't want that to happen again. And it didn't. They all made it back to earth.

But yeah, now that this has happened, Bezos has sent his like a trove of symmetrical, giant-breasted ladies up into space. And this has pissed off a surprising number of people. They're just really mad in a way that I find somewhat surprising. Look, and again, I think the more I reckon with the shock and awe that happens when things like this transpire,

the more I begin to have to deal with the fact that maybe I am way more cynical than I like to think I am. That I'm so cynical that to me I'm surprised when people react to that by saying like, this is the Hunger Games. Like, seriously, this is what it is? Like, classism and all that. Like, I think I've just assumed that my level of almost nihilistic cynicism, when it comes to a certain strata of the culture, was shared by most people. So, but dude, people are maybe it's just like, I guess, I don't know.

But I figured like, I knew no one would really celebrate this. Like no one's gonna, it's not like this is, you know, some epic moment. We've already been sending rich people up into space now for a bit. And we all know space tourism is coming. Yeah, you know, did it seem like the exact kind of flex I would fucking do if I was Jeff Bezos and a billionaire? Yeah, I just like take my wife seem like the exact kind of flex I would fucking do if I was Jeff Bezos and a billionaire?

Yeah, I'd just like take my wife and then like other like hotties that I wanted to bang and send them up into space as a flex. That's just like, you know that what Jeff Bezos did, I guess is the new version of driving hotties around in a Ferrari, right? That's all it is. It's a rich dude driving hotties around in a Ferrari, right? That's all it is. It's a rich dude driving beautiful women around

in his fancy ass fucking car. But now that we are entering into the very, I guess you would call it pre-singularity days, we're gonna start seeing this identical kind of garish mating behavior, but it's gonna be like the next one will be time travel. Like he'll probably, there'll be a time machine that rich people can access and he'll take all those ladies

to watch the crucifixion of Christ. And then everyone will see like in paintings of the crucifixionist, that fucking Katy Perry, that's so weird. Like it looks just like Katy Perry. So I think that's what we're talking about here. It's it's it's no different than that I don't know why people are so upset by it because of the You know emergent billionaire class

Yeah, you're gonna we have to get used to this like nobody should get too upset by people are making fun of these ladies. They're upset cause Katy Perry kissed the ground. Which, listen, I know you know I'm Katy Perry's top fan in America. You know, I've been to every one of her shows. I love her so much. She is just exactly what I look for when I'm looking for music.

But this is not why I'm saying that. I think like if you went up and I think it's safe to call that an experimental vehicle. That's an experimental fucking vehicle. That's a dude who. Like just ships packages, man. That's a very successful package shipper. That's not NASA. That's, he's not even, he's not making,

it's not even Musk. This is a dude who started off just packing books and boxes and he was good at it. And he saw an angle that nobody could see and he made it happen and he became a fucking billionaire. All I'm saying is I don't know for sure that Jeff Bezos spent a lot of time studying trigonometry. You know, rocket science.

He hires people and all that, but you know what I'm saying. It's like, yeah, I would kiss the fucking ground too. I would assume I was gonna die for a brief glimpse of Earth from Space so people are all making fun of her people are like all on like attacking Bezos's Like wife because she's got you know big tits It's like dude What universe do you live in? What world are you people living in? This is?

Don't I just don't get it. I'm not saying you're not allowed to attack you can attack whoever you want, but Just think You're like a bookseller You pack books. Mail order books, I think is how we started. You send mail order books. You're Jeff Bezos. I'm sure, like, you know, you've probably got

some kind of ambitious edge to you. You're a workaholic. You've got this feeling like, I don't know why I feel like I'm gonna be a billionaire, but I can feel it, man. You don't realize the reason you feel like that is because a future version of you has been using an as of yet undiscovered technology to travel back in time and whisper that in your ear, creating some kind of bizarre time loop. You've probably been dreaming, like, why do I keep looking down at the earth?

And I look to my right and there's Katie, this beautiful, beautiful woman and another beautiful woman. And somehow it's all because of me. Maybe you're getting messages from the future. All I'm saying is if you were Jeff Bezos and you're a billionaire, like none of this seems surprising to me. You know, I'm a nerd. I'm a nerd.

And I would do, I'm sorry, but if I like become a billionaire and we'll get to Operation Beast Blast in a moment... Yeah, I'm not gonna just send my wife up into space. She won't go, probably. But yeah, I'm gonna probably like see if Sydney Sweeney wants to go up into my space in space For free just go up there. We cool. You're not sitting My wife became a billionaire and she's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna go up in my spaceship with like

I don't know. Timothy Chalamet, Brad Pitt, I don't know any famous symmetrical guys that are young. Who else? The guy who played Aquaman, what's his name? Look it up. Oh yeah, no, you're not going up in space with that motherfucker. You're not going up in space with him.

Jason Momoa. No. The answer's no, you will not go be, no. And his hair just floating in. Floating in there, they're looking at each other, everyone bonded in a way no one on earth has ever been bonded, only astronauts are bonded that way and people who get abducted by aliens and they're all looking at each other. And like, yeah, no, no, I'm afraid I don't have

that level of confidence to feel. And his cock and balls float up like he's jump roping. Yeah, because they've, yeah, you just see his massive hog flapping against the spacesuit. No way. So anyway, the point is, I just am a little surprised that people are surprised that super rich people seem like aliens because they basically, they are in a way.

They don't live in the same world that most of us live in. Yeah, they just don't. So I think over time you get sort of a distortion field happening where, and especially if like you're you get sort of a distortion field happening where, and especially if like your your only sort of connection to the world is like other rich people, you know, that you're just you're going into these like, you know, like, um,

Oh my god, I'll show you. This is another example of it. Pull up. Oh god. Hold on. Do you guys know the name? It's a new thing they're doing. It's like C-steading. Pull up C oh god hold on, do you guys know the name? It's a new thing they're doing, it's like Seasteading. Pull up Seasteading, Josh. Let me see if I can find this. Seasteading. No, S-E-A, Seasteading. It's these rich people who are going, like it's rich, wealthy libertarians who are, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I want to find... Go to the Seasteading Institute. Maybe they'll have a link to... Or just... You know what? I'm sorry. Google...

Man stays underwater longer than anyone. Somebody just broke the world record here. Yeah, it might be that. No... Florida sign. Fuck, I'm gonna find this. That's it. Okay, look up Rutger Coke. Coke. Rutger Cock.

Rutger Cock. Rutger Cock. Yeah, this dude. Yeah, okay, pull this up. The video? Any of them, yeah. It's really cool. But basically, this is like a new concept for how to escape the oppression of whatever

culture you're sick of living in and you invest in Bitcoin at the right time. You build your little fucking trailer thing out in the sea. You put up that you put up a picture of David Tell and that's it you just sort of lay around underwater you got your peloton you look at fish and um eat really fucking good food your your chef comes down, gives you some fucking coffee, just sit there and eat, and that's it, it's pretty much what you do, and then you break a world record. It's gotta be the easiest world record

to break on fucking Earth. Just give me like Elden Ring, World of Warcraft, Ketamine, won't even know I'm down there. See look he's playing World of Warcraft, drinking champagne. But yeah, this is like another version of like, now look up, look up Rutger Coke. Go to his website because it's Ocean Builders. Yeah, go to click on Ocean Builders. It's really funny.

Scroll up a little bit, Josh, right? Ocean Builders officially. Wait, yeah, click on Ocean Builders. I want to show you that. So these guys are trying to like create like a business model here. Go to the actual YouTube channel, Ocean Builders. Check this out, you guys. These guys, so basically these guys want to like,

essentially start this new thing where they build these little houses out in the middle of, like just outside of whatever fucking line you need to be C pods. And I don't think the same laws apply to you out there. So you could just strangle your fucking housekeeper. I guess you can't murder in international waters, but you know what I mean,

you do fucked up shit out there. Go back to that, yeah. And then, okay, click on life, it's different on C-Pod. So this is like one of their selling points. I guess that's what you do in the day. You don't have a yard. You just go stand out there and let the fucking wind blow your like 50 trillion dollar, whatever the fuck that is. And you dance, you dance.

You dance. People are on the shore. People are on the shore. There's like bodies on the shore for whatever civil war is happening. And you dance! And you go down your steps and it's beautiful. And like the mangrove swamp People are peering out there hoping that some scrap of your sushi will float to shore but you know, this is what i'm saying this is the This is like

when you're You invested in crypto you did whatever you you played the game, right? and You know now you live in a nice kind of, I don't know, basically like a mid kind of apartment. I mean, that would be a shit apartment anywhere else, but the fact that it's surrounded by ocean makes it really nice. And you go down your little tunnel, you want to break from the wife, the kids, you just

go down and look at fish underneath. And that's it. That's your sea pod, eco. And so this is kind of the solution. This is like, you know, the wealthier beginning to realize that people seem to be catching on to this sort of like, there's more of us than you. And so they got to figure it out. And so it's the moon, it's Mars, or you go like just off offshore with a C-Pod, which no doubt will eventually have machine gun to her.

It's like release a swarm of drones that will shoot, you know, trink darts or whatever into the people attacking you. But again, I just, I feel like we've sort of we need to have some more compassion For these people not like compassion in the normal sense, but at least an understanding you can't expect people who have you know for the last 20 years have not like thought about like You know 20 years have not thought about whether or not

their house is gonna get repossessed or if they're ever gonna have a house or if they're gonna have food or, people who don't think about medical care expenses, who when they go to the doctor, the doctor doesn't even say how much it's gonna cost because it's like, when you go to the doctor the doctor doesn't even say how much it's gonna cost cuz like you know, like when you go to a really nice restaurant, they're like They won't even tell you how much it costs and you don't care

It's like that so you can't expect those people to act nor like like normal is all so I'm saying but uh, I Do feel like We're gonna start seeing more and more space tourism. There will be a disaster, of course. I wonder if people get, are more exposed to getting cancer because of the radiation up there. They're not like protected by, and so all these billionaires just start getting sick. Well, I mean, again, these are the considerations you're not like protected by and so all these billionaires just start getting you know Well, I mean again, these are the considerations. You're not gonna even miss that see you you're thinking like that because you got kids you you're like You know surviving your living life. You're a dad. You got fucking a lot of balls. You're juggling. You're thinking that shit Katy Perry's not thinking that she doesn't know what the Van Allen radiation belt is

She if you told her, you know, you should be careful about the Van Allen radiation belt is. If you told her, you know, you should be careful about the Van Allen radiation belt, she would think you meant some kind of like, boutiquey fashion belt. And she'd be like, I gotta remember not to buy a Van Allen radiation belt because it's radioactive. She probably wouldn't know that the protection offered by the earth is not gonna happen in the Bezos,

like, phallic expulsion. the protection offered by the Earth is not gonna happen in the Bezos like phallic Expulsion because that is the other thing. I mean not to keep going on and on here But I think you do kind of have to look at let's look at the jet the Bezos rocket launch Because I think we do have to kind of take it to the Freudian level here to really understand Exactly. What's going on is no different I think that's one of the points I'd like to make today to calm people down a little bit is it's easy to look at the world and freak the fuck out.

But none of this is new. Can we watch the launch? There you go. Blue Origin's recent launch humiliated Jeff Bezos. So I mean, we don't have to show too much of this, but it's a dick. Like, obviously that's- Oh, he put all these ladies in his dick. Yeah, he put a bunch of chicks in his dick.

Like, this is just what happens when you're rich. You know, like, pause it right there. So, like, this is obviously a Freudian, and I know Freud was famously said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And I know sometimes a rocket is just a rocket. But when at the very tip of the rocket, there are just hot ladies with their boobies floating about shrieking in orgasmic delight, let's face it, this is some kind of deep, repressed, billionaire sexual energy manifesting

as Jeff Bezos, but Bezos' cock impregnating outer space with hotties. That's what it is. And now it's- It's circumcised too. And it's circumcised. So there's, you know,

there's a little bit of cultural commentary there too. Yeah, you figure less wind resistance if it's not, you know what I mean? You got the extra, but no, he's like, no, circumcised. So yeah, and let's face this, this, so nothing's new. There have been dick swinging contests between the super wealthy since there has been dicks and wealth pull up Bob Elon Musk

Rocket that massive rocket so Elon Musk He's like yeah, okay great. You're gonna send up your little circumcised dick with some bitches in there Look what I'm gonna do look up the big-ass rocket his rocket. Look at that Uncircumcised that look at that fucking shit so the other billionaire is like oh okay you're gonna put up your little your little lady dick let me show you something let me show you what i got here it goes check it yeah! Look at that! Not circumcised.

Yeah with like some kind of like I don't know like additional shit like it's been body modified. It has rings on it. That's a big black fucking that's a multi colored ring dick with fucking Pfft Animated black. Yeah yeah That's a multicolored ring dick with fucking...

Animated black. Yeah, yeah. Look at that. Oh, watch out! So, you know, and everyone's cheering his dick. That's exactly what secretly we would all love. That's exactly the reaction I like if I took my pants off. A whole room full of people cheering. That'll never happen. But... Yeah. Look, they broke through the filament. I like if I took my pants off a whole room full of people cheering. I'll never happen but Yeah, they broke through the filament

Yeah, they broke through the filament. That's just impregnated. You know, this is this is all the same thing It's all now pull up Washington Monument There you go. This is just a classic move that dudes have been doing for a long time. We like to put our dicks on display, not our literal dicks, but these phalluses that indicate power and then pull up Egyptian obelisks. This has been going on forever. This is just classic rich people behavior. The pharaohs, from the pharaohs to the the founding fathers from the founding fathers to our current billionaires What do they all have in common? They like to show off?

Their dicks and but they're not their actual dicks. They build statues You will never know what they're hopefully we none of us will know what any of their dicks look like But that's what's going on nothing new under the sun. And I think it's a really important thing to realize right now. Otherwise, everyone... I've just been encountering this level of freaked out people that is just... It bums me out a little bit to be honest with you. A lot of anxiety a lot of people out there who just seem legitimately like

you know lost in space and But you know and not to say there isn't fucked up shit going on there always is But if you forget that then you start, this is the most fucked up time. And if you start thinking, this is the most fucked up time, then you might, I don't know, overreact. Now let me look in the comments. I have no doubt we have some brilliant, Obladeck, thank you, Happy Blippi.

Two balls, Joe Santo. Rub it in, baby. Rub it in. I only got one ball. Doesn't bother me. I don't care. Made a bunch of kids. Still works.

Never did bother me. The right ball went on. That's what I think. I think, yeah yeah one of the both they were like in an argument and one just stabbed the other when I was sleeping but it doesn't really bother it doesn't it doesn't bother me the way I didn't even think it would bother me to be honest. You didn't want a prosthetic? Hell fucking no I didn't want a prosthetic ball. With Bluetooth and you

press it and it just starts playing like as you. They didn't have it then. They didn't have the Bluetooth option. I would have thought about it. For fucking sure if like now if they have, honestly did they actually have that or you fucking with me? Yeah, you're able to talk to it. You just gotta get real close.

Hold on Josh. Are you fucking with a one-balled man? It's only for iPhones. It's iPhones and you put the ball in. Then you press the ball like that and it was, and then. Don't mock a one-balled man. You ever heard that Willie Nelson? No, for real though, you know,

as this body modification technology advances, if a prosthetic testicle appears, I have room in my body for something extra like I've seen the wet works Transhumanists who just like like basically sew a hotel key card into their fucking arm or whatever I'm not gonna do that But I do have room for based on like the computing power that we have right now I'd say in like five years I could have a full-on Like Mac like pro in my ball.

And at that point, yeah, I would be open to it as long as I'm somehow certain that it's not gonna like, you know, leak microplastics into my body. Then yeah, in other words, if I could start my car with my dick, I would love that. Never lose my keys again. If like the fucking stupid password shit on my phone, my car with my dick. I would love that. Never lose my keys again. If like the fucking stupid password shit on my phone,

I just had to hold the phone by the ball and it would unlock it. That would be perfect. You just walk up to your car and wipe your balls across it. Amazing. Or you go to HUB and you go, do do do. Or a little, you know, double click. Double click. I want hands free.

I honestly do because people are going to think you're doing that gross ball-grope thing people do. It just never fails to make me sick. You ball-groping dude. What is that? You know what I'm talking about, that weird, bleh, yank, like, I'm not saying we don't have to adjust. And look, maybe I don't know that anymore,

because I only have one, I have 50% less to adjust, and there wasn't much to adjust already. But like, so maybe y'all have big ass balls and it's a serious moment and you're trying to be discreet, but I wish you'd be more discreet. Nobody wants to see you fucking rearrange in your scrotum. You know, like go to the bathroom, please. You're making this all hard.

We're just trying to eat at Chili's, you know, and look at you. The problem is if you jerk off, you might lock, unlock, lock, unlock your car, or call somebody on accident. Because it's going back and forth. God damn, you're totally right. First of all, I do think that what you'd... Okay, the difference between people like us and Jeff Bezos

is you just say a thing like that offhand. Yeah, that'd be cool if we could have prosthetic testicles that also had some kind of like RFID capacities and kind of Bluetooth connection. And then we'll just forget about it. Like in 10 minutes we will never think about it again. But someone like Jeff Bezos has that idea and calls a friend. Because he has also he has a ton of money. He's like, hey, I want to invest a million dollars into having some kind of like I don't know bluetooth prosthetic testicles people could use to unlock their cars and

Then it gets made and you better believe someone who's finding out their balls getting chopped off when they hear yeah But we're gonna turn you into a fucking cyborg is gonna say yes over some stupid ass little jelly thing like that. Yes Dude, I mean, I don't know why that has not been invented yet, will you Google Bluetooth prosthetic testicle? That's gotta be out there already. Just go, yeah, it doesn't currently exist. A Bluetooth operated prosthetic testicle doesn't

currently exist as a standard medical device. What the fuck? That's crazy I Think you've stumbled upon I guarantee someone watching is already Patented that There's got to be a reason that doesn't work It's probably because it's like it's too heavy Yeah, and that's gonna fuck up your like

everything You can't wear short shorts at yoga because your prosthetic cyborg ball drips out. I think it'd be a heat thing. And a heat thing. That's what it is. It's a heat thing. Yeah.

Wait, see, there's the dude who came up with your idea. Click on that. There you are. I think that's me. See what this, You can buy it. Joe Rogan's podcast episodes, but there are apparently prosthetic jewels for your family jewels. There's multiple reasons why someone may be missing.

Okay, turn this off. Turn this off. What do you do? Get it. Get it. Get it. God damn it. All right.

Let's go back to the chat. Anyway, we got a little distracted there. At that MGM, Ontario's best casino action is just a click away. Play thrilling games like premium Blackjack Pro, the dazzling MGM Grand Emerald Nights or drop in on the exciting Sugar Rush and crazy time slots. It's all here at BetMGM. Visit betmgm.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you Please contact connex ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario What is that? What is that verse in the Bible was it Solomon? Nothing new under the sun? What's that Bible verse? I'm not sure. Oh, it's Ecclesiastes.

What has been will be again. What has been done will be done again. There is nothing new under the sun. The word of the teacher son of David king in Jerusalem meaningless meaningless says the teacher utterly meaningless everything is meaningless. What do people gain from all their labors which they toil under the sun? Generations come and generations go but the earth remains forever. The sun rises and the sun sets and hurries back to where it rises. The

wind blows to the south and turns to the north round and round it goes. All streams flow into the sea yet the sea is never full. The place the streams come from there they return again. All things are wearisome more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing nor the ear it's full of hearing. What has been will be it again. What has been done will be done again. There is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one can say, look, this is something new. It was here already long ago. It was here before our time. No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those

who follow them." That brings us perfectly. Pull up the pyramid shit. Now, by now we understand this is bullshit, or a lot of people think it's bullshit, but the long and short of it is, for those of you who've missed this, missed the boat on this, but let me preface this by how I started thinking about this again. Like, you know, the mind, the human mind, is, can be such an asshole. And... Heh.

For whatever reason, after having this bizarre dream of flying in an airplane, sitting, like, I'd gotten on the wrong plane, I was sitting next to some lady who said we were flying to some place in Canada. And I knew I wasn't going to Canada, but she was kind of cute. Sorry, Erin's a dream.

And I'm sitting there with her. And anyway, I wake up from that dream thinking about the pyramids and thinking about some article I'd read proposing that the actual location of the Garden of Eden was where the Great Pyramids are. You better believe I didn't fact check it because I didn't want to find out it was wrong. I just thought that was cool. It's probably wrong.

Could have been written by anybody. It could have been written by like a nine-year-old easily, just some blog post by a nine-year-old. I don't know. But then I started thinking about the Sphinx and how the Sphinx, will you pull up a picture of the Sphinx, S-P-H-I-N-X. Now look at that.

Then I started thinking, everyone's like, that's the head of a lion. And it's a snake, it's like a cobra. And then I started thinking, oh my god, this finks is the serpent they were talking about in the Garden of Eden. Because in the book of Genesis, weirdly, like the punishment for the snake is it has to crawl and slither, implying it used to have fucking legs. So then, you know, then I'm thinking, holy shit, that really is the Garden of Eden and the pyramids are some kind of capstone

placed over the Tree of Knowledge. Like, that's so dumb, and this is like 2 a.m., I'm thinking this, and I can't go back to sleep. So then I have to start looking up everything, because I'm not sleeping. When I wake up with these kinds of thoughts, it's over, which brought me to re-explore this scanning technology that they use to look underneath the pyramids,

maybe zoom it, like don't play any sound, but play it a little bit. So for those of you guys who haven't seen this, I'm sure most of you have, this is essentially like a wet dream for people like us, like that they use some kind of radar and found structures under the pyramids, not just structures, but like two kilometers down.

There's these tubes with circular, with spiral passageways going down to some base underneath that leads up to other underground structures. Like this is far, this is almost on par with like, you know, aliens are real. This guy's as excited as all of us are But yeah, that's you know a recreation of what this

They probably show the actual radar image, but I bet you can let it roll for a second This is every this is every one of us in our fucking studios rambling about pyramids. Let's see, just scroll forward. I want to find the actual radar image. There, go back a little bit, go back. Yeah, click on that. The red and blue shit. Not that, it's that, stop it.

Okay, so this is like the structures that they're talking about now again Let me really reiterate here. I knew when this story was coming out that this was probably hot horse shit and Because when I first saw it I thought well maybe and then like the next day I was looking up I was expecting this to be all over the internet and everywhere like my, my god, this is one of the most incredible discoveries ever. We all knew there was some shit under there, but who knows what? And a lot of scientists who understand this kind of radar have come out to say that this is what happens when you use the wrong band of a radar to scan stuff. That radar cannot penetrate two kilometers under the ground.

And yet you look at that and that's noise that it's picking up. The red stuff, that is not structures under the fucking pyramids, that's noise. And yet you look at it and there does seem to be some kind of symmetry there. There does seem to be enough that you could definitely start like you can get a lot of like stoner

pussies squirting. And but then and who knows if we if we if this is fake or whatever it's fake. But then that got me thinking like holy shit. Are those Tesla coils? Like, what if all the stuff Edgar Cayce was saying or like all of the fringe Egyptologists was true and that the pyramids were power stations and down there is some kind of bizarre Egyptian Tesla coils. Go ahead and play this thing. These things are the coolest ever. Look at that giant ass Tesla coils, go ahead and play this thing. These things are the coolest ever.

Look at that giant ass Tesla coil, which is just crazy. And Tesla, he thought that there would be a way to connect networks of these Tesla coils, that he thought that you could build these all over the planet and by like, you know using them to Disrupt the ionosphere or something you could send signals instantly all around the planet Like this is like early phase harp now look up like Tesla coil tower He actually wanted to do this and then they tore this fucking thing down. Look at this thing. He built this

This used to exist imagine living next to this thing. He built this. This used to exist. Imagine living next to this thing. Maybe, I don't know, click on Tesla Tower Wikipedia. A lot of people are gonna say this is like mud flood stuff that yeah, Wardenclyffe Tower. Also known as the Tesla Tower was an early experimental wireless transmission station designed and built by Nikola Tesla on Long Island. Located in the village of Shoreham, New York, Tesla intended to transmit messages,

telephony, and even facsimile images. Faxing! Tesla was already thinking about faxing across the Atlantic Ocean to England and to ships at sea based on its theories of using the earth to conduct the signals. His decision to increase the scale of the facility and implement his ideas of wireless power transfer to better compete with Google-level-ma-Marconi-you-bitch-Marconi's radio-based telegraph system was met with refusal to fund the changes by the project's primary backer, JPMorgan. Additional investments could not be found and the project was abandoned. In an attempt to satisfy Tesla's debts, again, just think about that. This is the guy who is responsible for much of what we experience as modern life

and he was so in fucking debt, he had to sell his badass Tesla tower. In these days, you could just turn it into like a nightclub or something. Imagine if that had withstood the test Of time that would be something in credit previous Starbucks in an attempt to the tower was demolished for scrap And the property taken in foreclosure for 50 years Wardenclyffe was a processing facility producing photography supplies That's what it turned into that was like humanities grasping towards something incredible and now it's just like selling

fucking Printer ink But this Now go back and look at that go back to that like scroll let him see Wardencliff again like scroll up Yeah, okay. Look at that now go back and look at the Like, scroll up, yeah. Okay, look at that. Now go back and look at the recreation

of what that radar picked up. Scroll back a little bit to that thing. Yeah, look at that. It's like, whoa. Is that what the Egyptians were doing? Where they're like trying to build, they figure out how to build Tesla coils underground using some Earth

EMF frequency or something and then blast that shit out of the pyramids to communicate with other cultures all over the planet Was this early phase radio internet? Were they broadcasting from there? And then that leads to Pull up a library under the Sphinx Again, this is like this is what I'm thinking at like 2 a.m. I guess go back. This is all Edgar Cayce said this shit. This is all fringy stuff, but basically there's some, you know, dream that underneath,

yeah, hall of records beneath the Sphinx, pull up the Jerusalem Post. Researchers raised questions about the existence of advanced society or the involvement of extraterrestrials in the creation of this enigmatic library. So basically the idea is somewhere under the pyramids, under the Sphinx, there is the like Library of Alexandria. This like, you know, we already we have no idea how they build the pyramids.

All we've got is the, you know, hieroglyphics. But there's a lot of people who believe that, yeah, click on Hall of Records beneath the Sphinx right there. I wanna pull up the actual here on this side. That, it doesn't matter. There's basically hieroglyphics depicting what appears to be a structure under the Sphinx.

That, and that book really looks legitimate. Ha ha ha, come on! If you ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Come on, man Come on You barely tried on that font That's Photoshop. That's not good Photoshop. You did it in what is it called you cut look at him with his fucking bowl He's like I just scuba dive. I don't do Photoshop Come on go back to the front of the bed. This is ridiculous You know That font like you like you know, you see a font, it turns into a voice. You know, and that voice sounds like, the Sphinx from the Sacred Atlantis and all the records!

We need a serious font. Edgar Cayce, a psychic known for his life readings, claimed that a hall of records built by refugees from Atlantis existed beneath the Sphinx. The hall was said to hold historic records and artifacts from a distant prehistory. But aside from this recent radar scan, which is being debunked left and right, we do know that there have been previous legitimate scans showing that there does appear to be all kinds of chambers and hidden tunnels underneath the pyramids? And who knows what's in those things? But dude, all of this made me think our idea of records is based on scrolls and papyrus and stuff like that.

Like who knows what's down there? Maybe their idea of records was some connection to the stars that they could transmit or receive data from. I don't know. Anyway, again, this is like 3 a.m. thoughts. I don't know if any of this is true. Seth Rottel says, Sid Baird is down there.

If anyone deserved a funeral beneath the pyramids, it was Sid Barrett. For sure. I would fund that. I would support that. I would definitely contribute to that Kickstarter. I mean, look, all of this stuff is fringe bullshit, basically, but no matter what, you still have those things out there in the desert. And not just those things out in the desert, you have the Mesoamerican pyramids and the theoretical pyramids in Antarctica. I mean, there are so many versions of these structures out there that all seem to have Some kind of bizarre sacred geometry pull up new ruins show up from earthquake. Did you guys see this fucking thing yet?

that mine mine mine mar Look at this shit friends big-ass earthquake and look what emerges Just click heritage daily at the very top there this one. I just want them to see this image look at this Just buried buried under piles and piles of mud of temple and piles of mud of a temple. Just people were taking shits on it,

walking on top of it, their dogs were pissing on it. No one even knew it was there. Buried, and then this earthquake happens, and in that crack, you just get a little glimpse of some kind of fucking temple down there. Like, what happened? Did they bury it? Pause it for a second. Just pause on that picture. I mean, did someone bury it? No. You know how much time that would take and how pissed you'd

have to be to be like, dude, bury that fucking temple. Like, don't break it down. Don't just, we're gonna bear it. We're gonna put a hill on top of it call that mud and just you know, you got to think like if You'd if you're gonna build a fucking temple You know You did that that wasn't built in a day. I Couldn't do that in a thousand days just that little piece of it if someone's like just imitate that I couldn't do that So all I'm saying is that used to be really important

to somebody and then no one even knew it was there. These people are like, what? What is this thing? Kids used to go there. It was some kind of important temple structure. Priests went there and taught the Dharma of whatever those people were. And it just gets covered up with mud and

No one even remembers. It's not I don't know what that is. What if it was the Great Flood? Well, that's brings us to the next fringy fucking stoner shit. I want to share with you guys See, this is what happens when I don't go on the news sites as I just gathered this weird stoner shit pull up No, Noah's Ark, news study on Noah's Ark, which I've always just thought Noah's Ark was like a parable. I never, how do you take that seriously? Pull up the New York Post. New evidence supports myth of Noah's Ark as boat-shaped formation dates back to biblical floods. A recent discovery has led some experts to believe they found the fossil of Noah's Ark. Researchers have found that a boat-shaped mound, long believed by the faithful to be Noah's Ark, was most likely submerged underwater during a devastating flood some 5,000 years ago.

The international team of experts has been working since 2021 to study the Dura-Pinar Formation. Now look, scroll down to the thing. Cause you do, I mean, it's Noah's Ark. What, really? Like some old drunk got a bunch of animals on a boat and floated around. It's impossible to believe this.

What are these animals right here? What? They didn't make it on. Look, they're flying away. I know, they're assholes. They should have gotten on They're like we can fly. We don't need your stupid arc you drunk piece of shit Scroll down scroll down to the formation you got to see this you guys it looks like a boat It looks exactly like the silly boat and all the silly Noah's Ark pictures you see.

They found coral too. They found like, you know, anyway, look, I don't know. I can't believe in Noah's Ark. I just like, there's so many things that I'm willing to accept, but Noah's Ark, it's real hard for me to look at the size of that thing. And like, I'm sorry, you're not getting, you're gonna get a couple of elephants on there maybe. I thought it really wasn't a boat, but it was a sample of each one from an ancient civilization and they called it Noah's Ark

But it was really just like a small like DNA sample for everything. You think Noah's taking DNA samples? I don't think Noah's a corporation and That's what took the samples. Well, what that what? Yeah, there was corporations back in the day there was ancient civilizations. And when the whole flood happened, they, someone to Mars, someone underwater. And now they're guiding us because we're like the Neanderthals that lived or whatever, the humans that lived. And they're guiding us. And that's why we have stair-step evolution with writing and then, you know, all the other stuff. And now we're getting AI and other stuff.

I love you man. Maybe. Look I don't know. I don't know. The older you get the less you know. And you know I think the sort of modern day secular's perspective on things is a sort of psychological force field to not deal with the reality of existence, which is so bizarre already. Like having to contend with all the things that Josh just said, or having to contend with the things Graham Hancock talks about, or having to just contend with the very existence of the pyramids. You want to reduce everything to some kind of mundane form so you don't have to reckon with the reality of unpredictable cataclysms. You want your cataclysms to be predictable. Nobody wants to talk about the reality of change on this planet and that in surprising change. And the mud-flood Tartaria people, they've sort of zoomed in on that aspect of living on planet Earth.

Most people want to like look at the federal government or wars and rumors of war. The connection's unstable right now. It just said, I'm sorry, I think I did that. I apologize. What'd you do? I said what I said and then it went unstable. You think somebody at YouTube was like, he can't talk about that. Maybe.

That's what people are saying on the chat. Big Noah shut us down. Well, there you go, folks. Now you have it there. Now you can see it. For those of you who are cynical, skeptical, those of you out there still living inside the Matrix prison don't want to admit the fact that we are being controlled by unknown invisible forces that want to

moderate the natural conversation that humans should be having every single day regarding Noah's Ark, the Ark Corporation, the collection of semen from all the animals in the world was then placed in the Great great pyramids of Giza and all the stories of Tartaria. Now you can see right there live we were shut down by the new world order global globalilani. Globalilani Illuminati operatives clearly were monitoring our live feed in the moment Josh redpilled us regarding Noah's Ark being a corporation more than a boat, they shut us down folks. They would not let us continue, but we will march forward.

We will fight. We will not be deterred. We will share the stories of the actual Noah's Corporation. We'll talk about how they didn't have maternity leave We'll talk about when the workers went on strike and most importantly we will not be daunted by the deep state operatives who want to keep bearded bald stoners and their

Producers from talking about the things that women want to hear most I've dedicated this channel to Appealing to those ladies out there who can't find good footage of stoners talking about UFOs aliens pyramids etc And I want whoever's watching this right now whatever NSA operative whoever's over Hillary Clinton's mansion in charge of destabilizing the internet connection of the DTFH who knows could be Mr. Beast himself that you will not stop us we will continue

forward we will march forward we will continue proclaiming the truth of the great mud flood the structures under the pyramids, Tesla and billionaire cocks and we're going to keep doing it until the end of time. Now back to the originally recorded podcast. For those of you who are my dear listeners and can't see some of the stuff we put up here, I want to remind you we do have a YouTube channel where you could have watched this live. You could have seen the ups and downs of streaming, which we're just figuring out right now.

For some reason, even though we're wired directly in to the internet with an ethernet cable. Our connection is unstable. It's trying to reconnect and it doesn't know how, but because we're unfamiliar with streaming live on YouTube, we're afraid to refresh, because we'll think we'll lose everything. You see, this is the modern age. And I'm sure people who had a printing press,

there was some printing press version of this the ink would I Don't know what what it would be. I'm sorry. I want This podcast this new version of the DTFH to be flawless seamless and more than that Advanced I want people to see this podcast and feel inspired to start their own podcast. And that's kind of what I wanted to talk about before I talked about all this silly mud flood shit. It came to my attention that there's only 30 podcasts in the world right now.

And you know, I get it. We're busy. A lot of you are more interested in oil painting or writing, exercising. But I do want to invite anyone out there listening to maybe take the leap into podcasting. Do it. We need more. Don't let the fact that there's only 30 or 36 bearded bald dudes talking about the pyramids out there and stop you. You know, the reason there's not more of us, I don't even know why. I think people are, this is the, this is what I, and I don't mean to alienate anybody, but this goes out to all the bearded bald men out there who like to smoke weed. People wanna hear what you have to say about the pyramids.

People wanna hear what you have to say about politics. People need to hear what you have to say about religion. And people are dying for your take on current events. And if y'all out there who are listening continue to turn your backs on the culture the way that you are, then I feel like you're being selfish. And I know this not just because from the you know the awards I get every week. What award did we just get this week for this for this for my podcast? The gold nap the Redfin golden apple award. But um one thing I one thing I know just from like you you know, and sometimes this is

hard and I'm sorry Aaron if you're watching I don't mean to get personal here, but you know I come home after doing this I'm exhausted. This drains me. The energy it takes to talk about this stuff is like intense and you could see my legs are shaking right now. And I get home, I'm sure this probably happens to you Josh, but I walk through the door, I just wanna sit down and rest, sometimes I weep. Sometimes I weep. And you know, Erin runs to me and she says,

"'Duncan, Duncan, can you please talk to me "'about the structures under the pyramids? Please. I just, I saw something on the internet, but I don't fully understand it. And I wonder if maybe we could just sit down and you could spend the next couple of hours talking to me about not just the pyramids, but the Sphinx and the secret library that might be underneath the Sphinx. And maybe if you have the energy,

throw in some stuff about AI. And I'm so tired. And I love her so much, but I just, you know, I don't have the energy and I have to tell her, it's hard, I have to say, Aaron. Oh my love I Would I so want to talk to you? I want to explain some of these things to you These deep things these important things these profound things, but I am tired I

am tired and she we sometimes we sob together, you know that This is the reality, I guess, of living in late stage capitalism is that, you know, we have to, you know, find a way to find that balance to not just give ourselves fully to our podcasts, but to give ourselves fully to our podcasts, but to give ourselves fully to our marriage. And every woman out there is so hungry and thirsty for this wisdom. Every woman out there longs, long to the depths of their hearts to hear about the pyramids, the construction of the pyramids,

the mystery of the pyramids, the mystery of the pyramids, where the pyramids are located, maybe even something about the Napoleonic Wars that happened near the pyramids, around the pyramids. But, you know, I guess I'm just asking for help. I can't do it all. And I just love it if some of you guys out there are, man up, get a camera. Let people know your thoughts on these things.

Because the world is hungry. And we must eat it with our love. I'm sorry about the technical error. We live in a world where change is inevitable. We live in a world where instability is the norm. Nobody wants to think about it, but we are all plunging towards the great unknown we call death, falling out in a strange trajectory from the dripping vaginas of our mothers. Our mothers fucked so lay legs asunder. Our fathers bare buttocks, pumping, flexing, shoving, hard and deep, filling our mothers up, filling them up,

not just with their pulsating penises, but with Hope and love they kicked us out They kicked us out at the end Did you record that stuff though? Yeah, record it all here. Okay, cool cuz that was really important Happy Easter everybody. I'll see you next week. We're going to do another live one next week. We're going to figure out how to update and get this thing working. I don't know. Maybe it is something I said.

Maybe I destabilized the algorithm. They literally said as soon as the Noah stuff that I said, they cut it. Yeah, maybe the algorithm picked up on some conspiracy shit and kicked us. I don't know. We'll figure it out. Until next week I love you. Don't forget ad free episodes Like and subscribe leave a comment. I love you. Goodbye