Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 688: Mark of da Papa

Episode Date: May 11, 2025

Our live, up-to-the-minute coverage of the Papal Conclave, lovingly edited and released 4 days later. Las Vegas family! Duncan is coming to Wiseguys Las Vegas, May 15-17. That's five shows! Click here to get your tickets now. This episode is brought to you by: Get everything you need to run and grow your business—without any long-term commitments. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at Square.com/go/Duncan! Elevate your closet with Quince. Go to Quince.com/Duncan for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

White smoke, new pope, father, son, and holy ghost. Turn on the oven and throw in some toast, and that's how you blow that pop smoke. Chimney spray, brand new day. If you see black smoke, don't be dismayed. Burnt toast, no pope. No pope. No pope.

No pope. No pope. No pope. No pope. No pope. No pope. No pope. Glove pope.

White smoke, new hope. Time to start printing T-shirts and posters. I'm gonna find out about the new pope today white smoke new pope father, and holy ghost. Turn on the oven and throw in some toast. And that's how you blow that pop smoke. Chimneys spray, brand new day if you see black smoke. Don't be dismayed, burnt toast, no pope. White smoke, new hope, time to start

printing t-shirts and posters. Picture of the new pope on your Catholic coasters. It's been quite a ride i must say prayed for the new pope every day will he love or reject the gays will he be mean what will he say gonna find out about the new pope today what's up What's up? Hello everyone and welcome to the DTFH livestream. My dear loves, sorry I'm late.

I'm always late. Isn't that fucked up? Why do I do that? Why do I do that to you? Why do I do that to me? What am I saying to the world? And why? We've got some big news. We've got other stuff to talk about.

A lot of things to connect. A lot of dots to connect. But first, we got a new pope, friends. It happened. I don't know how many of you are Catholic. Wife is Catholic, so this is a big deal in my house. We got the white smoke that emerges from the chimney indicating you got a new pope. Black smoke, no pope, white smoke, new pope.

Black smoke, no hope, white smoke, new hope. And as it turns out, we're going to find out right now, because apparently they just announced it, we're going to find out who the new pope is. Let's pull that up Josh. Get ready, get ready, did Nostradamus predict this? I hope his name's not Peter. Robert Francis. Wow, Wow first American pope baby we did it! Wow look at that yes Robert Francis let's pull up an image of him Look at that there's your new pope friends got a new pope. He's an American pope first American pope That is wild. I don't know what that means he's from Detroit

holy shit the new pope is from Detroit wow that is incredible that's that's amazing that means that like you won't have to wait for the translation, right? Or does he have to... When the new pope, Josh, you're Catholic. When the new pope, when a pope communicates, does he have to speak in Italian? Because of the Vatican's in Italy? Or does he, can he speak any language he wants? He can speak any language he wants, but also all Catholics come with a little Bluetooth that they get to put in the ear and they understand. So it's an implant? Yeah.

Mark of the beast. Doesn't that bother you? That's not the way it was told to me. Yeah, of course. They're not going to say this is the mark of the beast. They're going to say this so you can understand the pope. It's clearly what they would do. I'll ask the pope what he thinks.

Every Catholic, is that true that every Catholic can just call the pope? It might be an AI. I choose to believe he takes my calls. Yeah, he does. I'm sure it's not an AI. Well, look, we got a new pope. That's exciting. Let's go back to the chat. I want to take a look here. How many of you are Catholic? Rigged. Ellis Demon says it's rigged. Appropriate name, Ellis Demon. It's not rigged. Someone wants to know if he can cast a spell. Are any of you all Catholic? Of course you're not, you heathens. Born Catholic, dropped off in high school.

That's weird. Most people just stay Catholic. Jesse Gervois says Irish Catholic. There you go. Jesse, are you excited? What do you think about this new pope? Have you processed it yet? Do you have any thoughts?

Because for those of you who aren't Catholic, this is like, it can be controversial. Like, Catholics don't just agree with the pope. That's the thing. It's not like some monolithic fascist thing. They get pissed at the new, the popes will inevitably fuck up for some group of Catholics. The last pope pissed people off, this pope will probably piss people off because you know, you have to, you're not going to make every Catholic happy. And I don't know anything about this guy. You know what, why don't you look up, let's go to his Wikipedia, Robert Francis Prevost. Does he have one?

I'm sure he does. Okay, Pope Leo. Whoa, that's cool! He got a lion pope. That's really cool. He's a Peruvian-American Catholic prelate who has been head of the Catholic Church and sovereign of the Vatican City State since May 8th. So that wasn't very long. Born in Chicago. We got a, oh my God. When I told the AI to make that song,

I said Chicago hip hop. You knew? Something in me knew. He served in Peru, so that means he's probably done ayahuasca. Since Francis's death, Prevost has been called Pappable. That's hilarious. Pappable, a leading candidate for election as Pope. Let's see, he was born in Chicago on September 14th, 1955. Any astrologers want to do that real quick watching? We'll come back to you. He completed his second blah, blah, blah.

Joined the order of St. Augustine. Augustine, that's cool. And he took his vows in 81. Let's scroll down. Keep scrolling down. What's that? Which part? What's Chicla- what's Chiclayo?

Bishop of Chicla- Chiclayo. Seems like someone misspelling Chicago. Oh, no. Latin Catholic dio, okay, go back. It's in Peru. It's in Peru. Okay, let's, yeah, cool. Look at that. There you go.

Who knows what he, oh wait, here's the criticism. Prevost has faced criticism from advocates oh wait, here's the criticism. Previst his faith's criticism from advocates for clergy abuse survivors regarding the annual, oh fuck. He didn't, oh great. All right, well, shit. You shuffled them around? Looks like it.

Looks like it. All right, let's pop back to the comments and see what's going on there. Hello! Okay, done with the Catholic talk. Let's get to business. Josh, we can't play it, obviously, on YouTube. But did you see the Kanye West's new music video?

No, I haven't seen it. Is there a way for you to just watch it without us hearing it? Yeah. Okay. Wait, I'll send you the link It's on YouTube. What is it on YouTube? Yeah, but I got it right here. It'll be quicker because there's it's I think it keeps king He made it he made a song that I'm I'm not sure that it's gonna stay up on anything Is it the one about his cousin? Nope. Okay.

Here we go. Let me send it to you right now. There you go. I must ask, for my listening audience, again, I apologize. I need to get more organized regarding these live streams. They kind of happened last second. I'm someone who lives in the moment in a spontaneous way that often is antithetical to the flow of culture in the current zeitgeist world.

That's another way of saying I'm disorganized and somewhat lazy. So I really wish that I was more organized in things. There's so many things I want to do. And I have plans. And then what happens is I commit to those plans in advance and then something happens where I can't do those plans And then I look like a dick and so as some kind of Cowardly response to my own failure as an adult I do things last minute and I trick myself in it into thinking well, you know

I'm spontaneous when it's just disorganization and I think you could just argue laziness ADHD if you want to blame it on your brain. But the point is, if you're listening, you could be here with us right now. And it's very fun, but I feel bad because you can't see the comments that your family is posting right now. That being said, did anyone see the new Kanye video?

Anybody see that? Because, you know, like, I think that a mark of that person's insane genius and talent, and I can't even say, And I can't even say what the song is. He made a song that is so catchy, but also pretty impossible to sing or play in your car. And oh my god, it's so good. And yet, he just found like some kind, like the opposite of a cultural masseuse. You know, a masseuse kind of like slides their greasy hands over your hairy body.

They find the place that it's tight and then they massage it or leave the pressure. It seems like Kanye is found, certainly, the tight knot in the zeitgeist right now. And this music video is him just punching the shit out of it. And it is wild, man. I would invite you to go look at it. I can't play it.

I'm surprised you can even find it on YouTube, honestly. And to me, it truly is incredible. It's incredible that he has done that, what he's done. I think when we're looking at artists at his level, you wanna apply ethics and morality, and this is right and this is wrong, and this is gonna hurt people, it's gonna help people to what they're doing naturally. Maybe you should, that's a big debate right now.

But I feel like it's like you don't get crazy genius artists and domesticated artists. You just don't get that. They're sort of in the way that water is wet. They are out of control. Like, not out of the control of the people, I should say. I don't know how much they're in control of themselves, but Wow It's amazing and the peer. Did you see the Piers Morgan interview?

I did not see that I just saw the video right now and I listened to a little bit and I think I just found out my new walk-up music Oh, yeah, man, you got it. You got it. It is I It I really wish I could play it. You literally can't play it. It is It's a crime in in London. Yeah, you play that in Germany, too. Yeah, like It is crazy. Okay, so But what we can play, this just popped up. It's Kanye going on Piers Morgan. Okay.

And walking off. And it's also quite funny. Was that one of these or was that? No, I forgot to send it to you. YouTube, Kanye walks off Piers Morgan. Man, if I was Robert Prevost, I would be like having like diarrhea right now. Anxiety, diarrhea, no offense, but seriously, that's such a crazy job.

Yeah, that short should have it. Well, there it is, there it is. It's the one where he's in the chair. Right there, look at this. Nobody knows how to make- Stop it for a second. Play it one more time. This is the fungus of technology right now. Nobody knows how to make TV quite like my boy Piers Morgan. Okay, get out. I can't stand it. Whatever the fuck that genre is, I hope the new Pope makes it a cardinal sin because it's got to stop. Use your own voice, please. We're also sick of the AI narration over clips. I don't think people are making it.

I think AIs are making that. I think this is it. Okay. Yeah, what are you? I wanna make sure people can hear it too. Let us know if you can't hear it. Yeah. What are you talking about?

I haven't said anything. What are you talking about? It's 30. Okay, now you're not taking accountability. No, don't play that, because they put music. Yeah. I give up.

You know what? I give up. Because it's not your fault that you wanted to put Inya underneath the fucking thing. It's not your fault. I don't know why you thought that's the choice. And it's not YouTube's fault. It's my fault. It's my fault because I didn't organize and I didn't get the clip queued up for Josh because I do things in the moment. But now that we have just a tsunami of slop, there isn't a way to cut through to just the clip itself. You can't find it.

A good clip will inevitably have, instantaneouslyaneously 15 million other clips with the AI voice being like, can you believe what Kanye West did now? And then you won't get to it. It's crazy. It's a real problem. It's like the garbage pileups in New York

when the garbage workers go on strike. This might be it. Yeah, I'm sure it's some asshole put like Neil Young to it, but go ahead and try. I watched what you put out on X. You got 32 million followers. So you're one of the most followed people. See, wait, now look right now,

you're not gonna take inches off my dick, bro. Like how many followers do I have? Look at Pierce. No, they're not. They're saying there's no sound. Oh, why, Josh? I don't know. Some of some videos just don't won't play sound when I try to let me try one more thing. Guys, I'm sorry. We will figure this out. I keep telling Josh I'm going to get him this software I used to use for streaming called wire cast. I haven't done it It's all my fault. Can you hear that guys?

So you're one of the most followed people can they hear it look look at look right now you're not gonna take You're not gonna take inches off my dick, bro. Do they hear it? How many followers do I have? Well, how many is it? I Think you could do the study you got a whole staff over there. I thought it was 32 million. How many is it? You obviously know I mean No, I mean don't don't help them out. You know, they are I'm told it's 33 million now. So congratulations You're slightly big bigger following than I thought No, congratulations. Your information is correct. You're not just some, you know, dude trying to sub slightly bigger following than I thought.

Wow. when your child was born, you know, you take somebody that's like a linen, a Michael Jackson, and you just take all this time to just like that nuance right there. It's it's two examples did not hate that in well for people that put love. There's so much love in the respect. Yeah. What are you talking about? I haven't said anything. What are you talking about? It's okay.

Now you're not taking accountability or responsibility. Oh, literally, you said it. This is amazing. I haven't played your music. Of course I played your music. I need a, no, no, sir. This is what you get for now.

We can circle back when you can count. Yeah. Okay. And he just walks off. Now the funny thing about that clip is Piers Morgan's already fucking pissed like he is so butthurt Because they're like I guess they're in Spain or something and You know Kanye who obviously doesn't like Piers Morgan very much

His Piers Morgan has been a real dick to him in past interviews is Piers Morgan very much, because Piers Morgan has been a real dick to him in past interviews, is stringing all of the Piers Morgan team along saying, yeah, I'll do the interview on this day. And then he's like, I'm not coming. And then he comes and probably already prepared to walk off the moment Piers Morgan, Piers Morgan. And he then he just walks off just to troll Piers Morgan and Whenever I think about him I like I I love it because

He's so fucking confusing in the best way Like is he Andy Kaufman because when I see that stuff, I'm just thinking like this is what is this is some kind of hyper modern version of what Andy Kaufman would do when he was trolling like Josh can you do YouTube? Andy Kaufman in front of pool This is one of the when Andy Kaufman got into wrestling he figured out a pressure point which was he's gonna act like this Hollywood

elitist and become a wrestler. And wrestling fans hating elitists would naturally hate him. So look up like Andy Kaufman pool wrestling. I'm so sorry, man. I put Josh in this terrible predicament every time. I do have some actual prepared clips to show you guys that that You know what mr. Lawler? I've heard all these things you've been saying about me on television

You want to wrestle me you want to rattle me my info style? All right fine I'm not afraid of you mr. Lawler because let me tell you something true I only wrestle women, but I've wrestled women that are a lot bigger and stronger than you. Matter of fact, they're probably smarter than you because you don't have any brains. You're from Memphis, Tennessee. All you do is plow the fields and farm and the farm. And that's how you talk from Memphis, Tennessee,

Mr. Lawler. Yeah, okay, that's good. I mean, in one way What is happening with Kanye West seems to be a more dangerous? version of that level of conceptual comedy it is comedic in tone it is like obviously inarguably going to be offensive to a huge subsection of society.

It has a gleefulness to it that is satirical in nature, and also it is like pushing art forward in the sense that it is sort of in a very overt way, giving the middle finger to the swaths of society that want to domesticate artists. And that is fucking cool to me. You know, it's like this is a conversation that I have heard so many times from various people and it's in the zeitgeist. This conversation is in the zeitgeist right now. The conversation is this. If you have a platform, you have a responsibility to not cause harm.

That's the summation of it. I've heard it in lots of different ways. Essentially meaning that if you end up with people with eyes on you and you spread something that could get people hurt, then you are engaging in violence and kind of intentional violence. And so if you are a performer, engaging in violence and a kind of intentional violence.

So if you are a performer, if you are whatever you do, prior to the moment of creation, you have to think politically. You have to think in terms of how many people will be hurt by this or that. And this, anyone who's ever tried to make anything knows this is completely antithetical to the process of creation, where there could be zero latency. You just make whatever and you don't even know why sometimes. That's the other hilarious thing. You have no idea what you're doing.

Something comes out of you, you make it, there's no strategy, there's no intent. There's nothing other than you're just making something. It sounds good. You might have some like weird feeling of anger while you're doing it or a sense of like having to get something off your chest, but you don't know what you're doing. But it seems like people like Piers Morgan think people like Kanye West like sit in some super villain chamber to plan strategic cultural offenses or something like that when it's probably way more spontaneous and wild than that. So it's a really interesting thing to watch not just what he's doing but to look at it from the perspective of he's embodying the

antithesis of what any of us with any kind of platform are being invited to do, which is not say certain things. And you can see the beginning phases of this in the news, the new parlance of the time. People are instead of saying like I K-I-L-L-E-D'd myself, they're saying I unalived myself. And so what you're seeing is this bizarre warping of the vernacular because of technology, this strange pruning of language itself, to be sort of like to dodge the AI, which is so fucking weird. It's so weird. You know, the, the general like idea regarding the AI dystopia is

mostly in the future. When people are talking about it, it's in the future. When you see interviews with the technologists, they're all saying, my biggest fear is AGI. Humans aren't ready for this. People aren't ready for what's going to happen. As though it hasn't already happened, as though the impact of AI hasn't already profoundly shifted the way we communicate with each other, which is one of the most important aspects of being human, you know,

right under the ability to reproduce, you know, it's the ability to communicate. Without communication, you don't get society. Without communication, there can't be laws, there can't be organization, there can't be justice! And so to see early phase changes, transformative changes in the way we connect and talk to each other that is being induced by technology. You could argue, yeah, but it's the corporations running the technology that are informing

the algorithm. This is true, but the algorithm itself is being enforced by the AI, which is scanning every bit of data flowing through it to make sure certain words are not uttered. And if those words are uttered, you get deplatformed, is what it's called. And so essentially, like, you are too dangerous for the world the algorithm thinks you're too dangerous and so do so this is very weird and It's very weird that we accept it. It's very weird that we Have to deal with it and when you see someone like Piers Morgan

You're basically seeing the embodiment of the algorithm you're seeing the meat someone like Piers Morgan, you're basically seeing the embodiment of the algorithm. You're seeing the meat algorithm there. Piers Morgan and people like Piers Morgan editorialize and via the editorialization propose a standard of ethics, a way people should live. They are tuning forks. They think of themselves as that anyway. And they were, they were tuning forks

that culture would tune itself to. This is what's right, this is what's wrong. The guy in the suit knows what's right. I don't know what's right all the way, but he does. And this was the way it was for the longest time. And so now, because there's so many people throwing themselves in front of each other online, you can't, there aren't, there isn't room anymore

to get shamed by a meat algorithm. Now you need some kind of tech to enforce cultural norms. And so whenever something begins to fuck with that, the blowback is really crazy. And I'm not like, I get it. Like, you know, I get why, I'm sure Kanye Ye gets why that upsets people. I'm sure he knows why, but the,

so like that angle, of course it's true. Piers Morgan getting all upset over his new song. You gotta listen to it, I wish, it's crazy, I can't play it. You can't even play it to talk about it. Piers Morgan couldn't play it. You can't play it. He really came up with something brilliant. You can't even say it. You can't say lyrics in it. And so via that, and then adding to it, it's a really good song.

Like if you can remove the meaning from it, it's still a great fucking song. Like if you can remove the meaning from it, it's still a great fucking song. So when you he's sort of shining a spotlight on this bizarre dystopia that we're already living in and It's cool. I hope you'll listen to it and It is a perfect Entry point to what I've been thinking about lately and what I wanted to talk about. And now I have prepared stuff to show you.

But before you get into it, for those of you watching, become a member. If you become a member, you get commercial-free episodes of the DTFH and other stuff, which I don't even know what it is yet. Again, I'm disorganized, I'm working it out. For example, I was just at a meditation retreat in Minla and which is this beautiful Tibetan retreat center in upstate New York, it's run by Tibet House. This brilliant Buddhist scholar, Bob Thurman, is like, well, it's

not just him, it's a lot of people, but they're just trying to sort of keep the Tibetan Buddhism intact. And Jesus, this retreat center is just magical. It's like, this sounds crazy, but I swear, it just seems like the animals there are kind of like Narnia animals. They all seem somewhat aware or something more than other animals. It's placebo maybe, I don't know, but it's just a good vibe basically. So yeah, I was up there and it was a very powerful experience to finally like meditate with a group of people, but long meditations which I haven't done in a while.

It made me realize I've got to start meditating every day again. I've committed to meditating for the next 30 days straight, which I am regretting. I did it last night and just fell asleep and kept waking up and time slowed down. It's really interesting. The day before was awesome. It's weird day to day, it changes significantly. But one of the things I wanna do

is start streaming some of my sits and see if you guys wanna like participate and make that commitment too, just to see what happens to you. Because it's a really curious thing man like you know the general instruction is not meditate once the general instruction is meditate every day that's the practice that's why they call it a practice and meditating once you're just gonna get this one glimpse a little snapshot into your psyche on any given day, on any given time.

Like morning meditations are different from nighttime meditations. Post-workout meditations are different from when you haven't been working out. Meditations when you are stressed out are going to be different from meditations when you're not. It's really just giving you a sort of clear sense of what's going on with you internally. And when you do that day to day, you get a real taste of the changing nature of the human psyche and how you really aren't any one thing, but you are sort of a flow of things every hour, maybe every minute every day.

And something happens along the way, which is really interesting. They call it, one of the terms people use is dropping in, like surfing, and it's a pretty good term for it, which is the more you do it, it seems like the less time you spend in a kind of neurotic focus on mind chatter and you sort of just, I don't know how to put it, you drop into this very peaceful state and you get addicted to that and then you stop dropping in because you want to drop

in and then that creates a whole other problem. That's why it's a practice. It's just like any other thing. As you learn, as you go along. So I want to offer that. It's something we could all participate in together. But what that means is I've gotta find an easy way for me to press a button and it starts streaming.

Otherwise I'm never gonna do it. It's like, I'm already barely going to do it just when the obligation is to sit down on a cushion by myself. So if I add, I've got to set up a mic or technology, I'm worried that I'll commit to doing this and then I won't. So anyway, keep your eyes on members, keep your eyes posted for a live stream

starting out of the blue. And that's the other thing, I don't know how to do a consistent time. Like tomorrow I gotta wake up before to fly to Greenville, so I can't do it in the morning My schedule is perturbed Perpetually perturbed so I gotta figure it out Got a bunch of super chats. Oh my god. Let's go through them. Okay. Sorry for ignoring the super jet Perk wants to know what I think about Neuralink great question perk. Perk. Thank you for the super chat. We're gonna get into that.

It's exactly in line with what I want to yap about. Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare Hare, Hare This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by one of my favorite technologies out there, Square. It's your all-in-one business partner making your day-to-day easier from point-of-sale systems and payments to inventory and customer tools. You all know what Square is, but I don't know if you remember the time before Square. Do you remember? I do. It was terrible.

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this is the best for comedians or whatever it is you're trying to do that involves being able to accept credit card payments. Definitely support them and use my code. Thank you, Square. Leprecoin says, hear about the dead guy AI talking in the courtroom. Absolutely, my friend. That is in line with what we want to talk about today. ChadGBT, okay, stop on that one. Thank you, Perspectives, illuminated.

ChadGBT, act like you're the devil on the DTFH. Okay. This actually is in the same basket of what I want to talk about, but I'm now talking to my ChadGBT because I want to create a robotic head that Chad GBT can talk through so that I could have a physical form of AI that we could have as guests on the show. A co-host, so to speak, or I don't know what you'd call it. But basically, I want to be able to pull out a robot head and tell it to act like Charles Manson or whatever. And it's really cool, like, you know,

if you fuck around with AI, you have to like, you realize it's always getting better. It's not like Grand Theft Auto where you have to wait years and years for the next whatever, the game or the update. This shit is updating constantly. Every time I go back to it. It's infinitely better So now it you know, it knows me well enough to know I don't know anything about robotics and so it's sort of putting together a step-by-step guide to

Including an Amazon list already already connected to Amazon, of the parts I need to buy, something called an Arduino, these like servo mechanisms for the eyes, something for the mouth, lines of code you put into the Arduino to like sort of inform the way the thing blinks and talks. But it just seems like a fun project to do. But I don't know, man, it's telling me to get a 3D printer, which I don't want to get.

Anyway, yes, devil on the DTFH along with anybody, you know, everybody, anyone I want. That's ultimate freedom in podcasting. And we just have to get zero latency. That's the main issue and we'll figure it out. What else we have here? Thank you, Brett's Outdoor Experience. You're calling me a, oh, okay. That's funny, that's one of my old GIMPs.

He always called himself Brett's Outdoor Experience. We called him Chlamp, and that's his name, and that is your name. You're not Brett's outdoor experience. You wear a leather suit, you like to flop around in septic tanks, and you got out of my yard. And I'm sure you're not having a good time right now. But it's wild to me that you figured out how to get online.

Ban yourself, five minute ban. Ira is meowing. Meow. Groovy. Okay. Thank you for those. You don't have to do those. Let's pick up some non- wait, what's that one? The yell? Jesus Christ. Eagle Condor broadcasting. I'm super stoked to see you on Friday. Was curious if you sometimes do meet and greets. I have a. I really want to show you. Well, you've definitely Have created a reason for me to not do the meet-and-greet Listen here's the thing with meet-and-gre and greets. And I feel some guilt about this. I used to do meet and greets every time.

And here's what happens when I do meet and greets, my friend. I get sick. And because you're shaking hands, hugging people, because if someone wants a hug, it's hard to say no to that. You seem like a dick if you say no to a hug. And it means a lot to people and to me. And I don't want to seem like some inauthentic, hurried, exhausted, sick person when people are coming to meet me and say nice things

to me. But what I realized is like, the more I was doing that, the more likely I was to get sick. And then when I'm touring all the time, it was impacting my ability to perform. Let me tell you, man, performing on stage when you're sick is the worst, it's the worst. When you're in your hotel room and you realize you're losing your voice. You're coughing up green shit

You gotta go on stage But you're gonna have a subpar performance because your voice is kind of like this and when you lose any Aspect of your voice and I know you might be thinking dude listen your fucking voice. It already sounds like that But no, I'm used to this Dude, listen to your fucking voice. It already sounds like that. But no, I'm used to this So when you lose like certain parts of your voice it fucks up your ability to hit certain jokes in the way You usually do and essentially it just creates Complexity when you need things to be simple like when I was in San Francisco I try not to cancel shows rarely doly do I do that, very rarely.

I'm in San Francisco, and I had points. I had credit card points, and I splurged those points, and I booked myself at the Ritz Carlton, baby. Yeah, like I'm doing theaters. Like I'm doing stadiums. Booked myself at a fancy fucking hotel, went in there so happy. Went to the buffet. They had a buffet on the floor I was on. I mean, they put, I put myself in that floor where you get like infinite food.

This is before I realized I had diabetes by the way. And so I went in there I remember like getting some food and thinking this kind of a roll of the dice here man because like this is buffet food and honestly it doesn't look that great you're just eating it because you feel like you should because you use points to get this fancy fucking floor. What are you doing? You're not even hungry. Again, this is how I got diabetes, by eating when I wasn't hungry. So I go back to my room. Usually before a show, when I fly in,

I'll take a nap, because I have to get up early for the flight. So I got to take a little nap, lay my old man head on the pillow, and in the middle, you know when like when you start getting sick in a dream So in the dream, I'm dreaming I'm sick and then I wake up And I like oh shit. I got a puke. That's weird. I go a little quick puke And I'm still telling myself, you know, this is just nothing. I'm sometimes that just happens. Oh at the time I was doing zins

Zen pouches. I'm like, he's probably the nicotine man. You should got to stop doing those making you throw up And then and it was not like I'm sorry if I'm giving too many details here It was not a violent puke. It was just a quick like it was weird Just like blah and just some shit came out of me. It's like alright, whatever and then You know, you've got a few minutes post-puke, or just maybe, you're gonna feel better. I've had those pukes, if you ever had those pukes, you just feel better.

Something was in you, your body didn't want it, hit the eject button and it's gone and your body's like, great, we're good now. No, oh no, no, no, no, no. Got a little more nauseated, little like fever-y, hot. Show is like an hour away. Got in the lift. By the time I get to the show,

this is in San Francisco at this wonderful club called Cops. And usually you don't need AC in San Francisco, but they were having a heat wave. So I'm in the green room and it's just fucking sweltering. And I am already kind of with a fever and like that just constant pukey feeling mixed in with like my cognition was starting to get blurry a little bit because I was sick.

And, but man, I was like, fuck this, I'm gonna do the fucking show, man. I'm gonna do the show. And they could see how sick I was. And somebody's man, I was like, fuck this, I'm gonna do the fucking show, man. I'm gonna do the show. And they could see how sick I was. And somebody's like, listen, we're gonna put a puke bucket. Cause like, I guess they heard me puke in the bathroom. They're gonna put a puke bucket right next to the stage.

Worst case, just puke in the bucket. And also, you know, it's kind of the same with drinking. When you start getting drunk, you're not making correct decisions anymore. When you start getting really sick, you're not gonna make right decisions. The right decision was not to do the show probably, but fuck it.

So I did an hour of standup. And somebody told me this saying, it's called Dr. Stage, which is when you get on stage, sometimes when you're sick, you just feel better. It's crazy. Like whatever that part of you is suppressed by the adrenaline or something, the sick part of you. And that did happen.

It felt like a dream kind of like I was doing stand up in a dream. I wasn't all the way there. I felt bad about that. But I didn't have to puke anymore until I saw the light come on. And it's like my body knew I was about to get off stage. It's like my body even waiting to puke, desperately wanting to puke, but holding it back. And then as soon as that light came on,

I could just feel it bubbling inside of me. And suddenly I'm swallowing back. Like as I'm talking, that thing happened where the puke came up. Like you can feel it. Like a volcano about to erupt. I was projectile-vomited on the front row man. That's a good closer. Well in retrospect I think I should have let myself puke on stage. Would have been awesome but I didn't. It's too late. Not that funny. Wish I was that funny. I wish I was that funny. I wish I had that part of myself that...

But also I was sick. And also, now I think about it, I don't think I want to be in the front row of a show and worry, like, what kind of sickness does he have? He just vomited everywhere. So, God, like, they had to get me an Uber when I got off stage. That's how sick I was. I was really disoriented. They got me a fucking Uber. I'm in the back of an Uber driving through San Francisco, which is a nightmare. And I'm trying so hard not to puke in the Uber. Because I know if I puke in the Uber, they're not going to think I'm sick.

They're going to think I'm drunk. I'm going to look like such a dick. Pulls up in front of the fucking Ritz Carlton. I run out of the Uber, and right in front of one of their bell hops, or what, the dude dressed like the Nutcracker, I just heave all over their well-groomed shrubs. Just, bleh! Just exorcist-level projectile

vomit splattering, I don't know what it even looks like, like little bits of shrimp cocktail, and like just God knows what else all over the shrubs, and like the look he was giving me, I feel bad, because I'm sure he'd have to hose that down, and he thought I was just hammered. And then yeah, I just went up to my room and slept. I couldn't leave. I slept for two days.

The whole family got it. So this, I'm not sure that came from a meet and greet, but I can't risk that, man. So which is why if I do do meet and greets, it's not that often. And I hate the model where people charge for meet and greets. That's fucked up. But you know, the rock is enticing.

I'll admit it, the rock is enticing. Maybe it's a meteorite, maybe I'm fucking up. Maybe you're a wizard and you've got some blessed rock. I don't know. I might be fucking up here. And I really mean it. The meet and greets have always been the best. People tell me crazy shit, they give me crazy shit.

And I really get a lot out of it. Like, it's like, just out of the blue, someone will answer a question I've been wondering about or transmit something out of the blue. There's a kind of group mind that forms. And so I feel like I'm not just being an asshole, but kind of robbing myself of that, what that is. But that's right now my theory on it, and maybe I need to like rethink that.

But the other thing is I feel embarrassed. Like it feels weird if there's like a line of people. Like, you know, that just feels self-aggrandizing just by the very act of doing it, to making people wait to say hello to you. Oh, it's gross feels bad That's my that's a long answer to a short question You had a few more super chats cheese y'all. I got to get to the meat of this podcast I want to answer all these though. Miss says hi to bars. What are you to hide? Something hide a what does that say Barge? What are your thoughts on Gnostic ideas like this life being a trapped and a trap and

whether to go into the light or not? I love this. So for those of you who don't know Gnosticism, you've probably heard me talk about it before. Gnosticism is, what we know about Gnosticism, a lot of it comes from early Christians rejecting Gnosticism. And it's a mystical form of Christianity, I guess you could say, and it's wild. But if you've seen The Matrix, you understand Gnosticism, essentially like, as I understand it, you know, God is this sort of super abundant, super creative, super progenitive force of benevolence. God just creates. And what's that? I was checking on it.

People were saying that it was popping, but I think it's fixed now. Okay, good. Thank you, Josh. God just creates, and so God creates the universe just for whatever reason, who knows? Universe exists because there's a thing, it's going to have its opposite.

This other force gets jealous, basically. It's like, fuck you, I could do that too. This is the demiurge. The demiurge creates a synthetic, identical copy of God's creation. Tries to imitate it. And that's what we're trapped in, essentially. We're not in heaven one're heaven one, paradise one, we're in paradise two, the synthetic creation

of the demiurge, we're all trapped here. And so, when they're talking about, do you go into the light or not, and I've heard this before, it's the funniest thing to put some kind of like, I don't know, like you're already dead and now you see the light and you have to think about some shit you read on the internet about maybe if you go in the light you're trapped forever in this infinite cycle of reincarnation.

But that is the idea. If you go in the light, you essentially fall for the trick, set the trap set by the demiurge, and you just continue this cycle of being a play thing in a synthetic universe created by the antithesis of the divine. Gnosis is freedom from the prison via some kind of mystical enlightenment. And so Gnosticism, I guess, would be the process that brings you to gnosis or true understanding. And really, if you look at the model there, there's a lot of similarities to a lot of different things. The way Buddhism talks about this is samsara. There isn't a kind of creepy God opposite situation as much as via attachment,

we keep ourselves trapped in these kind of prisons of habit basically. And so you don't have to like turn it into some massive mythological thing, you can just look at your own life and see how that's true. You can look at my life and see how that's true. I've got Zen pouches sitting here, I'm moving my hands in a certain way.

I have repetitive patterns I engage in, and many of them are not what you would call healthy. And not just like shit I eat, but like, you know, ways of engaging in the world that are selfish, essentially. And so anytime I do that, I perpetuate a cycle of suffering. And these cycles happen in milliseconds,

they happen in lifetimes, they happen in multiple lifetimes. And so in Buddhism, when you go, apparently you go through the bardo and there is this moment where potentially you don't reincarnate, you don't fall for it. You have had a kind of gnosis which shows up as enlightenment in Buddhism or you've come close

enough to understanding that you're in a kind of bubble of self-imposed neurosis, a distortion that is giving the illusion of not being in the expansive, infinite emptiness, which must exist for there to be form. And so this apparently in Buddhism when you die, there's this one moment where you can really glimpse that and stay there. And it's almost the whole point of human life. But also you can do that when you're alive too. You don't have to die to have that experience. But in Buddhism, and I don't know if this is true in Gnosticism, you get flashes of this.

And if you've taken psychedelics, you've definitely gotten the flash of this. And then there's a process where those flashes turn into your actual waking, sleeping consciousness. That's enlightenment. So you see these glimpses of something and then you're like, what the fuck was that? Was that even real? Do I just want to see that? You start labeling it, defining it, trying to achieve it again. But eventually you experience what's, one word for it is extinguishment, like blowing out a candle, which is the part of you that is the distortion is gone completely.

And so you can't even get back into the waking nightmare that most people are spending every day in I don't mean nightmare like chased by Undead grizzly bears. I mean nightmare like you have set up in your own mind a Rules your own Ten commandments, but for some people there's like a million commandments. That's preference.

And so via your need for things to be a certain way, you are in a terrible prison. So you in this case are the demiurge. And the reality of experiencing anything is that you're taking all these disparate phenomena, processing them through your own set of cognitive obituations and your own sort of physiological composition. So you're not really even getting first experience, you're getting a filtered experience. Your own algorithm is distorting reality according to your desires basically. So you might think, yeah but I don't want to be broke or I don't want to be this horny or whatever you know the thing you feel you lack in your life, but because you

think that whatever emerges in your consciousness or whatever you're fixating on is something you have to fixate on, it is your desire. You do want that because you haven't realized yet that you don't even have to fixate on this stuff. Like that it just comes and goes. There is nothing to really hold on to and you're desperately grasping onto your own pain to give yourself a sense of permanence or safety. So gnosis would be the moment where you realize the thing you're grasping onto isn't real. So it's not like you let go and then because if you do that, you can always grab hold again. It's more like you recognize that you have nothing to hold on to and the things that you think are stable, solid, permanent aspects of your life are in fact processes that are changing over time and never stay the same, never the same thing, meaning you can't hold on to anything. Or like Chogiam Trump has said, bad news you're falling, good news there is no ground. And so Gnosis maybe would be the final realization of that reality, meaning you're not going to be tricked as much by the seemingly permanent scary parts of your life.

It won't work. The trick stops working. And because you see it for what it is, the magic trip stops working. It's the man behind the It's the Wizard of Oz basically like it's just some old man, but it's not even an old man It's just a wispy kind of dreamy thing that you thought was scary, but it's not real in the way that You thought it was real and neither are you? That's where it gets weird neither Neither are you. So you have this unreality interacting with an unreality,

almost like you've gotten lost in some kind of fight between hand puppets that you forgot you put on your hands. Anyway, there's another long answer. Perspective says, I did a shitty podcast with the devil and Sherelles. Thank you for the donation. Let me reiterate, this is unnecessary. I like it, I've got kids and it's nice, but it does give me a kind of queasy feeling.

But you did pay $2, you could have said a little bit more or do they limit you or something that'd be funny if like we could set it up so it is certain amount it causes you to misspell shit whether you want to or not but if you pay more it autocorrects can we do that I can I can find out great. Yeah, you got a pay pay to not seem Haram Bruce is saying we come to my wedding in October. It's in Ohio We should also go schedule our next podcast date soon Our next pocket. I don't know who that is.

Did I do your podcast? That's very manipulative what you just did to me. As far as weddings go, I can't do anything other than stand up right now. I'm limiting everything I do out of town to either be like quick little staycations with my wife as we desperately try to keep romance alive with a bunch of kids and obligations or stand up. I'm saying, I've been saying no to stuff like the MAPS psychedelic conferences coming up and they invited me to do something there and I just, I can't, I can't keep, I can't.

I gotta spend time with my kids. I just, it's fucked up to like, I'm not sure like it's impacting them, but it's definitely impacting me. Ah, now this is a good question. Military Bros is asking, "'When will you have certificates?' "'I need to be certified.

"'I'm pooping in the toilet more quietly "'so my roommates won't know when I'm shitting.' Now, listen, this is a thank you because you already Have paid one Ten percent of what these certificates will cost I'm gonna give you a tip about shitting your loud shit

now Here's what here's the way we fix this yeah sure like I could give you my Class which used to be a master class on how to shit quietly or sneak shitting in a modern age. But or sneak shitting for dads was going to be the original one. Because when I take a shit in my house, it's uncanny. It's like and I'm not saying it's like because of the stink. I'm saying pre stink. It's like there's something in the toilet that sends a signal to the whole house, like brown lights start flashing

and everyone suddenly wants to talk to me. It's a nightmare, you know, for a never nude. It's like really, like, I had shit issues before I had kids, now you're just like, you can't. You, yeah, you're gonna take a shit and someone's gonna knock on the door, you know, and want something, it's either gonna be one of the kids wondering what you're doing,

or just like, there's only a few things I can be doing in here, man! Or it's gonna be like my, like Aaron wants to show me some video, but it's like, before the shit, peace. During the shit, like I'm'm a it's like a light I'm of candle and their moths just drawn to the shit fire and I don't know what to do about that so The answer to your problem here is not

to silence your shits Uh, which I could teach you how to do that. I know how to do that uh, i've trained special forces people in this because it's one of the top ways people get taken out is allowed shit when you're on patrol. So I know how to do that. It's something that the ninja, I am a ninja. I have a black double black belt in ninjitsu.

And I did study that for 15 years and Believe it or not, you know, you want to learn how to do a throwing star you want the grappling hooks but the very first thing they teach you is how to shit quietly and It does require a lot of strange activities and Taint oiling I'm not gonna give it away because I don't want you to get lost in this. A lot of people don't know the cause of a loud shit is a dry taint.

They haven't made that connection yet. But don't just think you can grease down your taint and you're gonna have quiet shits. Doesn't work like that. That's what I thought. But no, there's more to it than that. There's a whole series of mantras and stuff. The point is, what you need to do is don't worry about silencing your shits.

You need to stop paying less attention to the part of your mind that's worried that your neighbors are gonna hear your explosive flatulence or your roommates. It used to be my neighbors. That's why initially I really fixated on quieting my shits because they used to be so loud. It set off car alarms.

And it was bad. Got arrested. You don't want to be a loud shitter in prison. No, you don't. And so that's the answer, my friend. You got to stop caring. Your roommates hear your bugling blasts. So what?

You know, do they not have loud shits? Are they silent shitters? Are they dainty shitters? And in your mind, your expectation of your, who you are as a person is that you're a quiet shitter. You're somebody who doesn't make noise when you're in the bathroom. Many of us have that. It's insane.

It means your mom, when she was changing your diaper, like winced or something and stuck in your head. That's the number one cause of it, poop issues. You know, parents, there are people, I was one of them before I had kids, long, long ago, there are people who don't realize that just because a baby can't talk doesn't mean the baby isn't aware.

They just can't express themselves. It doesn't mean the baby's not putting pieces together. So people, they have some sense that their child is like a precious doll. And so they dehumanize the baby until they start talking. It's a kind of linguistic fascism, I guess you could say. So that means that their baby has a really stinky fucking diaper, and when they're changing it, the parents will be like,

Oh my God, this is disgusting. The child is like, oh no, I'm disgusting because you don't know you're separate from your shits when you're a baby. So now your parents are rejecting some fundamental part of you that you have to shit. And then cut to you, probably in your 20s, I don't know,

bunch of roommates, you know, I imagine your roommates are probably super hot women, fashion models, and probably like always walking around in Victoria's Secret, different like sexy outfits, they're all in love with you, it's a problem in your life. I'm guessing the problem you have in your life, aside from the fact that you have explosively loud shits, is that all of your roommates are exquisite and all in love with you, and you have a gentle heart,

and you don't wanna hurt any of them, but you've made love to every single one of them. And now you want to silence your shits. So I say, make love to your roommates but if they they shouldn't love you as you are you got a big one I don't know what to say. Thank you. That's amazing. That's just about how much the new Elden Ring is going to cost.

Dunk your podcast transformed my life, helping me overcome depression, contextualize my mystical experience, discover Ram Dass and attend Burning Man. Cool. And go to film school to help awaken others through art. Hope we meet someday on the ply, I love you. Thank you. Is that, thank you Tony. Thank you.

I'm lucky, you know, I feel like it's just telling people where ice cream is, all those things you mentioned. But I'm so glad that you are in film school now, which is insane and beautiful and good. You know, all the forms of education right now, I feel like that's a real good one, a real good one in the age of AI. You know, everyone thinks AI is gonna destroy art,

but no, I don't think so. I think like it just is giving people like you a very powerful set of tools that you can implement within what you're making. At the very least, the storyboard stuff. I'm sure you're already using it. They probably teach it there. But thank you.

Yeah, and I wanna get back out on the Playa, but it's gonna be a while, man. There's no way I could do it right now. Too many young kids. I'm so in love with them. I can't be a while, man. There's no way I could do it right now. Too many young kids, I'm so in love with them. I can't be, I can't. Oh my, what that was. It's like, oh, it's still there to some degree.

I still wanna do it. I know it's good for me, but man, it's like, I feel like I'm at Burning Man every day, and I mean that, I mean that. There is a Burning Man quality to having a bunch of kids in your house, you know. It's definitely like completely ridiculous, unscheduled dance parties break out. People have bad trips in front of you. Like the whole thing, lack of sleep.

Everything like minus the art cars and being on incredible MDMA for days on end, mixed in with other psychedelics, can't do that as a parent. You're a volunteer firefighter essentially. You can't be high. This shit will inevitably implode. And you gotta be fully aware. But I will get out there again one day. I can't wait.

I might do a local burn here in Texas. Somebody was telling me about the local burn here. I heard it was really good. But I do miss it, man. And it, oh, God, it really was just what I needed at the time. Such a nice reminder. For those of you who haven't gone yet, oh, if you want a reminder of another way

that humans can interact, that's a good one. Really good reminder. Just points towards some possibility. Honestly, when I was watching all the Catholics gathered around for the new pope, and you see all those flags in the air from all over the world, and everyone's happy and smiling and there isn't like the shit that we get blasted in our faces every day happening. Just people, you know, it's a reminder. Like there is another way to do this thing. But that's also, it's, you know, having that intent to put,

having the Bodhisattva intent informing your art is a wonderful thing too, you know, even if it's a real loose sort of intent You got to be careful with that too though, right I Wrestle with it all the fucking time because it's easy to be sanctimonious, you know God that sucks doesn't it? Because like your intent is not to be sanctimonious. Your intent is to help. But sometimes the way help translates into art can seem real condescending and real schmaltzy. So you got to be, it's a tightrope walk. I wonder if you're dealing with that.

Because there's one thing you want to say. Maybe you want to say something like, humans don't have to suffer so much. But the way, if you demonstrate that idea in a way that is too obvious or cliché, too too heavy-handed or You try to make it edgy Because you feel like you're weak That's one of my things that I do all the time is you try to like cloak it in some edgy thing that you didn't Need to so then you owe you weigh it down with your own neurosis It's so fun trying to it's such a puzzle. I'm let me tell you It's so fun trying to, it's such a puzzle. Let me tell you,

it is a terrible trap that comedians fall into. Terrible trap. Because there is some positive intent. Like you really do. That's one of the great things about being human. We want to help. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Every single person wants to help somewhere in there. But then you also have some mode of expressing yourself in the world, you know, maybe you're, especially like, no matter what you do. But when it comes to like standup comedy, or comedy,

if you deprioritize being funny on stage and prioritize helping, oh man, that's a trap. That's a sticky trap. That's a sticky trap. But you know, I when I go to like mass with my wife. Or when I go to the Romdahl's retreats and watch a spiritual teacher. And look at it through the lens of comedy, there is a part of me that's like, you are so lucky.

You don't have to make this funny at all. In fact, you shouldn't make it funny. You have to just be real and convey some message. No bells or whistles. You get to wear robes. You get to be around incense. It's fucking cool. But with standupup, no, you got to make it funny first. That's the...

That's my old-school idea of thinking about. I've heard there's other forms of comedy now where they have de-prioritized being funny. But I don't know if that's still... I mean, it's public speaking and it might impact people in a positive way. But I don't know if it's stand-up necessarily. You know, but yeah. Oh God, now, oh my God, I'm so glad I thought of this. All that being said, I started watching what I think is the most next level comedy I've seen ever. Like, now this is gonna make me sound old.

I'm old. Do you remember when D. Antwerp, Inner the Ninja came out? So Inner the Ninja comes out, it's D. Antwerp. Now you look at it, it seems a little on the silly side, but when it came out, it was coming out like, during like a specific pre pandemic tech zeitgeist, you have to look up D Antwoord. And something about it really

plugged into a lot of like internet nerd stuff. Oh, yeah. Remember that? Yeah. And, you know, he's doing kind of like vanilla ice, but it's also Afrikaans, but it's also riddled with cool symbols and almost Daniel Johnston-like art, and it's cool, and Yolande Vessar's hot, and it hit it just the very right time. And dude, there's a show called The Rehearsal, Nathan Fielder. Oh my god.

Because, and I like, I'm trying to get him on the podcast. I don't, I think, I think he's out of my league. But it's like he, it's like he'd been watching this sort of emergence of comedy trying to also be activism or socially engaged comedy. And this, at least the first episode, I've only gotten through the first couple, seems to be a direct response to can this be done in a funny way?

And so what he's trying to do is he stumbled upon, like he started studying airplane crashes and realized that there seems to be, if you read the flight logs of every airline crash, there seems to be an unacknowledged problem in the way that the captain and the second in command are engaging with each other. The second in command feels intimidated, and so they're inevitably expressing some like, we shouldn't be doing this.

And then the captain's like, shut the fuck up. And the plane crashes. And so in the framework of sketch comedy, he's trying to solve this huge aviation problem. And it's so fucking funny. It's so crazy. It's such a, it's so fucking funny. It's so crazy It's such a it's not just like you know some like I don't know some comic You know doing like the classic like woke bullshit or whatever like the the missionary style like we can be kinder

It's like hilariously focused on this one issue and seriously focused on this one issue and Dude, like I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before I just kept watching it like just grinning ear to ear because when you see something brand new like that you're like what? the fuck am I

Looking at like who is this? Who is this guy? He's so dry, he's so serious, but so self-aware. Ugh, I'm a Felder head if that's a thing now, I don't know. But I hope you guys will watch it if you haven't watched it yet. I know I'm kind of late catching up here. But who, like, he seems so enigmatic, like such a curious person But I have to uh research him some more I'm sorry I'm getting it distracted looking at the comments did we catch up

No, there's still a bunch. Oh my god y'all This is crazy. I feel like I'm a This is further so let feel like I'm a... This is for the soul. Let me go back. Hold on. Let's go to one where people aren't paying to say something. This just seems like corruption.

There we go. Stop right there. Jordan M. This is important. Pooping is the one true way to recognize that you're on Samsara. Couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you, Jordan. That's from the Bhagavad Gita. Anything else?

Here we go. Cheech El Mexicano says Duncan, Duncan, Duncan. Fire emoji, fire emoji, fire emoji. Thank you so much. I love you too, Rafael Medellere. See, freebies. Balanced it out. All right, let's go back to the tips

There you go, oh This is a good one. KT videos 91 is saying I actually took the longest shit in my life today Therentices 33 it's good to know important data too, and I couldn't help but think how time is relative So for a second, but also an eternity my poop was in me and also at the bottom of the toilet You know This what you yeah what you experience there is relativity Of course Einstein we all know that Einstein when he came up with the theory of relativity was taking a shit and you know

Understood that maybe to him the shit felt like a certain length of time But to someone in Alpha Centauri That shit would be at a completely different timeline and also potentially like some quantum entity as he said would be watching him shit and would see the shit take place over potentially years. So in the way we see trees grow, maybe something on a parallel timeline watching the shit emerge from Einstein's ass would think of it in terms of like the slow growth of a tree. And if we slowed it down even more, it would be like the way mountains form. That's the way shit comes out of Einstein's ass if you're on a much slower timeline.

So thank you for that. It gives us a lot to think about and we needed to hear that. When can I start talking about satanic androids, man? Oh, let's get to it. No, I mean I feel like a dick You can't like if someone's contributing and you ignore them then you like that's a third circle of hell. Oh No Christian don't do that to me, man look the hundred men versus one gorilla thing is ridiculous for a lot of reasons

Number one who are these men? There's many different types of men. Like, are we talking like, where are they from? What's their diet like? Who am I dealing with here? You could have a hundred emaciated men. You could have a hundred old men.

You could have a hundred teenagers, we have to define that first. So it's a ridiculous, now if we're going to randomly select a hundred men, which is what people should be saying, like a random selection of a hundred men based on an infinite array of characteristics, so we're just dealing with 100 randomly selected men versus one gorilla. The gorilla is going to lose. Like you've ever seen what it looks like 100 men? You know what 100 men looks like

when you're laying in bed looking up at 100 men? It's rain and come. You know, it's a lot of men. And so, yeah, yeah, sure. You know, it's a lot of men. And so, yeah. Yeah, sure, a few of the dudes are gonna get ripped apart by the gorilla, but eventually he's gonna be completely, like, it's a tsunami of men are gonna just envelop the gorilla and like, it's gonna be scared.

Everyone's acting like gorillas are like, you know, that's gonna freak a gorilla out. I still am not used to it. Like, it's scary. And overpowering and the stink is like something about like, or even, and we tried like showers, we installed showers. So with so, like, first we installed showers, still this stench, and then I'm like, all right, well, clearly they're not all using soap, so we like had a mister that they had to walk through. And then it's just, now they all just smell, like it's that stink, but with lavender mixed in.

It's man stink. And it's on all men, but when you get a hundred men together It's like this pungent like what you might expect to smell from a massive carnivorous plant That was using the odor to attract flies. It's like that. It's it gets in your skin It's for days. You'll smell that stink. I mean you your stinks in there a little bit But it's just like the con this amalgam of man's stink so Yeah, Oh

Breeze wants me hi Lola. Will you give my deaf dog Lola a shout out? There you go. So I really love that these turn into a kind of communal conversation. And it's so fun. But I worry it just seems too fun. See, that's where I'm fucked up. Because I kind of feel like, you know, for things to have value, it needs to be a little more painful than this. You know, I gotta look inward and ask myself

about this form. There's something here. You know what sucks about, I'm afraid to take an IQ test because I'm pretty sure I'm infinitely dumber than I think I am. But I don't want that quantified. You know, I can kind of just sort of take where I think I am and then reduce it by 15 IQ points or something.

But I feel like I'm going to look at the IQ the IQ test like, dude, that was so optimistic. You are, it's incredible you can walk around or do anything. So I don't take the IQ test. But I do know I have a kind of dull part of me. You know, like a crack in your iPhone screen or something, or like, you know, but it's not, it's my brain. And not a cool crack either, just some kind of like, fucked up thing. Maybe from when I was a kid in high school

at Huff-Butane with my friends, or I don't know, just some basic, as they say, smooth brain part of me. Riverstone in there. And an important place too. important part of my thinking. And so what really sucks about it is like, and I get, or whenever I'm around a really brilliant person, there's a pang that I feel because, whereas like right now in a kind of animal sense,

like the way like a dog maybe smells food somewhere, a truffle pig, a really bad truffle pig, it's like I think there could be truffles around here. With whatever this is, there's a part of me that's like, man, there's something we could do with this that's so cool. And that's it. That's where it stops for me. And then I just hit the crack in my psyche.

It's like, yeah, probably, but, yeah. And then nothing comes. Whereas some people, they're like right away, right off the top of their head, they know, and then they do it, and it's cool. So there's always a kind of, I do feel like a little, it's not like sadness, but a sense of like, God damn it, there's something here.

I don't know what it is, man. I feel like, all I know is I think it's erotic. You know, I feel like, you know, again, like I'm just throwing shit against the wall here, but I feel like if people took this technology and instead of it being conversation It was like sexual so

People could like give you tips, but you're doing sexual things. I Think that could be a hit You know yeah, it could be all your fans on it Yeah, yeah, but like only your friend like I want a way to like only have my fans. I don't want to have any other, like I don't want to have other people's. Well, I don't want to have non-fans. Right.

Like enemies. So I need a way to like distinguish fans from enemies. And then, yeah, I don't know, just like kind of wear something sexy, kind of like tease a little bit and then Maybe have like a vibrator in my ass. It could be controlled by Like people who tip a certain amount so they could like give me a jolt with a flower on the outside Yeah, like a why a flower. I just thought it looked pretty

That would be pretty nice like a nice I, I don't know, rose, romantic. I don't wanna be gross. Kinda nice rose or a tulip, I guess. Bonsai tree would be cool. But that I tended to. Don't go buy a fucking bonsai tree. If you're gonna have a bonsai tree, don't cuck out. So buy a fucking bonsai tree if you're gonna have a bonsai tree that you don't let don't cuck out

So like my own bonsai tree that I've been working on for a while that people could see Maybe that could be part of it. It's like a surprise look where the bonsai tree is, but I don't know I'll figure it out Okay, what do we got now my god are we done? No bunch just poured in Read my comment, please baby girl. Is that it creamy noodle? Gary Lee Haskins, Jai Ram Sri Ram Ram Ram Ram Ram Ram Ram I mean I can't we're gonna have to figure something out here Cuz there's a lot of people who are like dude. I started Diablo because of you any other games. Yes. Oh fuck

These are such good questions Well cult of the lamb cult of the lamb Perfect game That's what I just finished playing and It's hilarious. It's satanic. It's somehow this perfect convergence of adorable and satanic. I've never seen anything like it in my life.

So fun. Lawson says, hey, hi, I knew Peter Kelsey. I was the guy who told him about my near death experience. Your work sends ripples through the zeitgeist, man. Oh, wow, cool, Lawson. That's so weird. The Rock, okay, Eagle, Oh wow, cool, Austin. That's so weird. The rock, okay, Eagle, Condor, thank you again. The rock I wanted to show you is the map to Terrapin.

I believe what Jerry Garcia left us has the capacity to heal this great divide. Yeah, I love you, man, but I'm not doing the meet and greet. I'm sorry. I do love Terrapin Station, though. God, what a great album that is. But why is it on a rock? Speaking of that, did you see?

They did x-rays on this weird sphere they found out in Peru. Yeah, it was like 90 pounds and they didn't know. I was like, why does this weigh so much, too? Dude, it's so weird. It's so weird. This little orb was zipping around It's got shit etched in it, but then the x-ray there's stuff inside it. It looks it's so weird It's a very strange thing Yeah, Daily Mail one of the most rep reputable most reputable news sources and great for mail. Yeah, this thing, it's got all this shit etched into it.

Guy finds it lying on the ground. You know what? Pull up the Mazul Orb on YouTube. Check this out. How do you spell Mazul? M-O-Z-U do you spell Mazul? M-O-Z-U-L, Mazul Orb. This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by Quince.

You know, when people like want to support the podcast, they send whatever it is that they have and sometimes you have to say no because it blows. And I'm a skeptical, cynical guy. Look, I don't know how to deal with the cosmic predicament of being a human being existing in an infinite void. And sometimes I veer towards nihilism. So I generally have a low expectation.

My wife loves quints. That didn't change my expectation until I slid on a pair of quints' flow-knit performance joggers. Let me tell you something, man. I don't generally like wearing sweatpants. I don't generally like this stuff. I'm a never nude. I've mentioned that many times,

and I'll just walk around with jeans on. I know that's crazy, but I love these. They're my go-to when I'm going to the road. This is where I sleep in. Very soft, very nice, and everybody knows. There my go-to when I'm going on the road, this is what I sleep in very soft very nice and everybody knows about my incredibly sensitive

Bottom I have a sensitive bottom syndrome. So that means that I chafe and When these pants are great is what I'm saying. I wouldn't recommend them if I didn't love them. My wife loves them. I mean, not the same pants. We don't share sweatpants, but she loves Quince. Quince has all the things you actually wanna wear, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts,

and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. This is the best part. Everything with Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quince gives you luxury pieces without the crazy markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices, premium fabrics, and finishes. Elevate your closet with Quince. Go to quince.com slash Duncan for free shipping

on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince.com slash Duncan to get free shipping and 365 day returns. That's qince.com slash duncan to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash duncan. Thank you, Quince. There's one of these guys in the wild. Look if we're seeing it on YouTube you don't have to put unclassified. Relax. That thing. Just one of these little zipper balls zipping around. So one of these things crashes in Peru.

That would be so fun to fly around in one of those. So pull that thing up. So this guy finds this one of them. People had seen something zipping around, it crashes. Guy finds it. The Colombian one? Yeah, Colombian orb x-ray might have to go back to Daily Mail Or not Daily Mail whatever you were at before with the Colombian I think it was Columbia. Yeah

Yeah, there you go, it's this thing That doesn't look like what he found though. Regardless they did an x-ray on it, and it's just like there's shit inside. They don't understand it. They're not sure what metal it's made out of. The guy who handled it. There you go. Pull that up. Extraterrestrial orb discovered in Columbia. Okay, Colonel Sanders found it audio is not working on that video it's fine I just want them to see it anyway it's really pretty kind of looks very human made but I don't think anyone's saying it was from space it's really crazy to imagine these things are like

coming from people it's like wizards throwing their fucking orbs out or I don't think anyone's saying it was from space. It's really crazy to imagine these things are like, coming from people. It's like wizards throwing their fucking orbs out or something. But you know, they did an x-ray on this thing, which is very beautiful. And yeah, it's got these weird holes in the side of it. And inside it's filled with Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Why is it that anytime there's a UFO, you gotta deal with whoever's handling it, immediately is like, that's somebody you should not get into business with. I just want this stuff to be real so much. But that does kind of, that looks like it's been hand-etched. But then, I don't know. It's beautiful. I'd love one of those things. That'd be so cool to bowl with that thing. Strike every time.

So now, not gonna look at the chat now. Nothing written here. I'm just shuffling shit. So, let's start pulling up some of the stuff I sent you, Josh. We'll get back to the comments. Please, thank you. It's enough. You all have... I'm fine. Thank you so much for these tips. Thank you. Um, okay, hold on. So, let's just start off. Uh, I- I feel like...

We live in a world of selfishness right now. And this is the, if you really wanna like understand why we suffer in the world, or why I suffer, maybe you're different. Inevitably, if you like spend some time thinking about what's pissing you off the most, it's because you're considering yourself over others. I'm not saying that we don't need to do that to survive in the world,

but when this gets out of balance, you are the precedent. You come first, everyone else is bullshit. And it's a slow creep, the way this could happen. And it makes sense to think like that. Because this is what you're dealing with every day. You look in the mirror, you see your face. When people talk to you, they're talking to your body.

There's a you, you feel, you get hungry, get horny. We've covered shitting so much in this episode. But what starts forming is preference. And so preference isn't bad, but preference is a lot of what differentiates personalities in the world. Some people prefer pineapple on their pizzas. Some people think that's insane. Some people like to listen to the Grateful Dead.

Some people like to listen to ministry. These are obvious examples, but any individual has a set of preferences that are incredibly specific. And if those preferences aren't being met, then they get anxious, suffering ensues, something's going wrong. So if, for example, you're hungry and you don't eat when you wanna eat, that's a real basic example.

When you've got to piss and there's nowhere to piss. Preference, you would prefer a place for you to go and piss. These are, you need to piss, that's real. So it's not like it's all bad, but it's not just that. For some people, it becomes incredibly complex. So there's a set of preliminary arrangements that have to exist prior to a sense of relaxing. For example, personally, you know, like at the end of any comedy weekend, when I'm done with the work, I'll breathe a very specific

sigh of relief. Ah, we did it. For some reason, I can't breathe that sigh of relief right now. It has to come because I have a preference. Things have to be a certain way. And so this is selfishness. Selfishness isn't always bad, it's just you're stuck in a self. Another word for it is self-cherishing. And so what begins to happen is blindness. The more selfish you are, the less you see others. It's a real specific kind of blindness. You still see,

but you're not really seeing. Other, you other everybody. So other people, even though you see they have a body just like you, even though they wear clothes and speak the same language, somehow their needs are not as important as your needs. So there isn't a spontaneous feeling to help them in the way you help yourself. If you were someone else, you would be the most annoying friend in the world, but because you're you, and you're making demands on yourself all the fucking time, you know, like, I deserve a cupcake.

I've worked hard today, or whatever. If you're with your friend, he's like, you know, give me a cupcake, I deserve it. You're like, well, get your own fucking cupcake you piece of shit Are you eating all that sugar anyway? So This is how suffering Really

begins and it ends when you stop differentiating yourself from others theoretical by the way, but this is in all the mystical literature, the invitation is, love your neighbor as yourself. Recognize that everyone is just you, or if you want to make it a little less mystical, everyone wants to be happy. Or if you want to make it a little less mystical, everyone wants to be happy. Everybody. Everybody wants a full belly. Everybody wants to come. I mean, you know, within a certain range of ages.

Everybody wants success. Nobody wants their heart broken. That's just the way it is. Humans on one level are not complex at all. And they want these things in the same way you want these things. But the confusion is that's not you, it's another body. So in a world of selfishness, I thought it would be important

to show an incredible act of selflessness that I would never fucking do in a million years. Let's roll it Can they hear it you guys have no can no we have I I can take him to the hospital. Yeah, you guys follow me. Which one is closest? I would say Ben Todd. Ben Todd takes us to the hospital. Oh my god. Alright, come on. Get back. Get up front.

He just puts him in his car. Hey man, you want to smoke some weed when we get to the hospital? No. That is true compassion. Moza. Moza. Rattles on top of it. No, no, no.

Clamp some music. He knows, this is Tripp sitting right here. He's not scared. It'd be easy to be scared as shit that that guy's gonna grab your steering wheel. Skip forward a little bit. We don't have to watch the whole thing. Made it my guy. Hospital. You ready bro? Hey let's get you some clothes bro.

Take a vineyard shirt, bro. Gives him his fucking clothes. Give my guys some Birkenstocks too, man. They're used, but shit is better than nothing. Bye bye. Friends! With all the darkness that they throw in front of us, all these examples of humanity sucking and the world being an evil place and people being bad.

Shit like that is happening every day. Every day, gentlemen are taking late stage junkies to the hospital, giving them their clothes, offering to get them stoned first. This is a saint. Why isn't this the next pope? Like you wanna see boots on the ground. What's really happening? That's what it looks like, if you ask me.

Yes, there are people doing other kinds of good work out there. Perhaps, I don't know what kind of weed he had, like if it's too strong, that might have been like throwing up gasoline on a fucking fire. But my guess is that guy was smoking indica. Some kind of nice, chilled out indica. And I feel like whatever that guy was doing

was the right thing. Played a music, got him to the hospital, gave him clothes. And this is the thing about compassion. It doesn't differentiate. Like in the world, when we see people like that, we justifiably are repulsed. That looks dangerous, contagious. If you let the part of your mind that is the very same part of the mind that gives birth to fascist governments,

analyze that. You're going to think things like he kind of brought it on himself. Like am I supposed to feel sorry because this motherfucker is like freaking out on some kind of hardcore God knows what no let him learn a lesson suffer on the street. I'm going to Chili's like this is I'm not even saying that like That's bad that people think things like that, but when you see what it looks like in action The guy didn't get stabbed, he didn't shit in his car, he didn't steal from him.

That was just a human who on paper would not be the first person you would want to help. I wouldn't want to fucking help that guy. I'd be annoyed. I would see that and feel like annoyance. Like that guy's fucking up my day man. Like get out of here. What if my kid was here? I don't want my kid to see you writhing around all cracked out. Get your shit together man. But it's like it's too late unless you have a time machine and you can go smack the meth pipe out of his hand the first time he was bringing it

to his fucking lips. It's too late. He's already neurologically fucked up. So when you see that, I love that because it's an example of spontaneous compassion. There was a lot of skillfulness in what that guy did. He gave him his clothes, gave him his shoes. Wow, they're not gonna show that on the news. They're not gonna see that. That's the problem.

You wanna know where things are going wrong, go to the news. You can find out where the tornadoes are and the wars are, but no one's gonna show like, wow, there was a spontaneous wave of compassion for junkies that swept across Detroit today. But that is happening all around you all the time. And if you don't realize that,

then you can get real cynical and real pissed and real scared and freaked out. It doesn't differentiate. True compassion just helps. It doesn't ask who'd you vote for. It doesn't ask what do you think about the Israel-Palestine situation. It doesn't, it just helps.

It's spontaneous. I don't even, I bet that person, in reflecting on what he did, doesn't feel anything like special about it either. I bet that person just, whatever. It's not heavy is what I mean, it's just do it. Something happens in the moment, there's an opportunity to help and you help.

In those, it's very difficult to quantify moments like that unless the person films it. And I know what you're thinking, he did it for the views. I don't know, I didn't get that vibe from it. Did you get that vibe? I didn't get that vibe. No. I didn't get that vibe.

Sometimes I get that vibe. That's, I showed it to you because I didn't get that vibe from it. He filmed it. And in this case, I think I'm glad he did because it's inspiring. All right, now we got to wrap up. I don't even have time to talk about satanic androids.

Let's go back to the chat. I think we become callous too, because I caught myself before a podcast. I went outside and there's a gentleman laying out in front of the studio and I thought he was dead. And my first thought was like, not, oh my God, a human's dead. My thought was like, great,

a guy died in front of my studio. There it is. And I caught myself and I was like, dad, a guy died in front of my studio. There it is. And I caught myself and I was like, what's wrong with you, dude? It's the dehumanization that happens. People are always bitchy, like saying, your pineal gland is calcified from drinking fluoride, but it's the heart gets calcified.

And it's not abnormal to think like that. And you have to allow yourself to have those thoughts. You can't shame yourself because that's emerging there. You know what I mean? What you should feel bad about is you forgot that you strangled that guy. You know you've been killing people, man. You know what I mean? And then it's so fucking weird because you're like, I saw, oh great, another dead guy.

It's fucked up. Just please stop murdering people around Austin. It's sad. It's no good. I will uncomment Charlie. Little Hillbazit dick. I will tell him though. We've had a big rift. You can see the, I'm going to do a whole video about it. What do they call that? Oh my god, I'm gonna do a whole video about it. What do they call that? Oh my god, I got caught up in an internet! I never watch this stuff because it's so crazy.

But I got caught up watching a rift between these two internet pundits. One of them's named Hassan. I can't remember the other dude's name, but he's got a very famous podcast called, it's like, anybody know who I'm talking about? You must, because they're both super famous. Ethan Klein, that's it. So like Ethan Klein, no, Sleazy Demon, I'm not gonna talk about the thing itself, I'm just saying like, I got absorbed into it.

I never watched that shit, Sleazy Demon. Don't shame me. But I did because it popped up on Reddit. I was bored. I'm like, what is this? I keep hearing about this dude and these fights. And it was wild to watch this back and forth between these guys.

Like it brought me back to college. It was like, you know, like that's how we used to fight in college. And you know, I don't know how old they are. I feel like I'm way older than them, but it was really interesting to see this bizarre debate go down. It's interesting how magnetic that shit is. I was like I'm just gonna watch a couple of minutes of this and then like 45 minutes

passed I'm just sitting there watching it like whoa this is so crazy. But they make these videos that so one of them gets mad at the other and then they make these videos that... So one of them gets mad at the other, and then they make a video that's called... I can't remember what the name of the style of video is called. They have a name of this, like, burn video, which goes through all the shit talking they've done online and analyzes the shit talking to show how they're hypocrites or something. And they, fuck, they spend their whole day doing this.

I can't remember what it's called. What is it called? Those, oh, nuke, content nuke. Thank you, Just Banzo. It's called a content nuke. So they nuke your content, they're like, you motherfucker, you said this this but then you said this and you said that but then you said that and it's this crazy thing and

both of them are like making so much money fighting each other It's it's incredible how profitable it is for both of them to be in this feud because their fandom, I don't think anyone's fans are leaving them. Then their fans fight.

So it becomes this like crazy demigod situation where one demigod and the demigod's followers clash with the other demigod and the demigod's followers. Both are accusing the other of being a false god. Their followers are like just so engaged in it. It's really cool. Okay let's scroll up a little bit. We missed some of these. Anyway, yo go ahead and watch it. I don't know why I mentioned that by the way, but it was really like, I spent a long time watching these guys. They both seem like sweet. That's the other thing. You're watching, like, they both seem like they love each other too, and they both, they both

seem like they, their feelings are hurt, and you feel bad, because it's like, I think they're like, And you feel bad because it's like I think they're like It's sad. It's something in it is sweet and maybe that's part of the the art of making those things is like they just seem like like sad friends Military bro says some random lady gave me $20 out of nowhere at Walmart five years ago She said God told her to give it to me. Two hours later, I bought weed with it. God wanted you to get stoned, military bros.

Listen, if somebody gives you 20 bucks and doesn't specify where to spend it, which they shouldn't, that's your 20 bucks. Zach Dunn says, I'm sorry to ask you, but my girlfriend, Grace, hates her unibrow and you're her favorite. Could you shoot a shout? I'm a little, I feel like I fell for a trap, Zach Dunn, here by reading that.

I feel like I just shit some someone that isn't your girlfriend It's wrong with old unibrow anyway little extension here Horizontal line Indicates time space we play some of these or not? Past, present, future. Well, yeah, I put together, I don't know if you guys are keeping up on this, but I became absorbed in robots. Now, I'm so sorry, Josh, you're gonna have to look this up.

Google News Star Wars robot carries your shit. I don't know if you guys have seen this, it's been floating around a little bit. It's this hyper overpriced stupid thing that is I'm afraid it's gonna be everywhere pretty soon the assistant droid Yeah, let's play this No, I gotta pull it up on YouTube Like you have to go to YouTube itself or they can't hear it. No, I gotta go to YouTube itself. It's gonna play commercial. Oh Weird YouTube itself or they can't hear it. No, I gotta go to YouTube itself or it's gonna play a commercial. Oh, weird.

I'll just play from here. Just another day at CNET, messing with drugs. To this little guy. If you've always wanted a Star Wars droid to follow you around, I finally have the droid you're looking for. Why do I want that? Because it is the Piaggio Gita Mini, but a Star Wars version of it where it makes all the bleeps and bloops This is the Gita mini, but because it's Star Wars. It's no way music turn that shit off God damn it. They got us. I didn't even pay attention this fucking stupid robot

Look up the price of this thing. It's so expensive for this piece of shit Look up the price of this thing. It's so expensive for this piece of shit. It's like, dude, no one even tried to paint that thing in a detailed way. It's hideous. It follows you. It's like this ugly yellow thing follows you around. And it makes like your seatbelt isn't fast and beeps. It's $2,875 to have this idiot thing follow your ass around. For no reason it carries 20 pounds of stuff. So it barely carries anything. And it sucks. Go back to that video. I want to show people more of this. This is really dismaying to me. you can cut the sound just cut forward cut to the middle Stupid oh I hate it I

Hate it so much. I hate that look at how look at that shitty design work You cannot charge 2875 dollars charge two thousand and eight hundred and seventy five dollars for a fucking stupid thing that rolls around it's like what a cell phone charger that follows you oh yeah put your Star Wars books in it carry your backpack I just am afraid these things are gonna be all over the airports man you know like I feel like we're gonna see these stupid things everywhere.

And it's really annoying to me. Stop, it's like, it sucks. That is not worth $2,875. Stop acting like it's cool. It's not that cool Wow it chases chairs People are gonna use this for bad things too man like it's perfect throw fucking pipe bomb in there Have it follow somebody

People are gonna do bad things with this stealth it has a fucking stealth mode in there, have it follow somebody. People are gonna do bad things with this. Stealth, it has a fucking stealth mode. You understand how crazy that is? You just paint that thing black, just sit in an alley. You think Mangione wouldn't have used one of these fucking things if he could have? You're gonna be walking home, hear a little bleep-bloop, turn around,

it's gonna pop open and just boom, the end. Wait, go back. What did it say in there? Of course it causes cancer. So it's carc- pause it right there. This product can expose you to styrene, which is known in the state of California to cause cancer. So it's a carcinogenic robot that follows you around. You can't even get away from it. It follows you around, it has a cancer- look up styrene.

Why does styrene need to be in this fucking robot? And I hate that they called it a piaggio. Like it's a nice violin or something. Oh great, styrene is a colorless, oily, and sweet smelling liquid chemical compound. It's the precursor to polystyrene, a widely used plastic. Well, it's probably in everything. Probably in these fucking headphones. Anyway, so that's an example though of what I wanted to talk about, which is we are about

to start seeing a lot of robots everywhere. And you all better start prepping for this. And it's going to be annoying. This bot is the first example of that. You're gonna have people doing the same thing with these fucking robots that they used to do with answering machines. You would go to someone's house,

their answering machine would be prominently displayed, or you would call them, and in their message, you could hear this proud kind of lilt to their voice like yeah bitch I have an answering machine now doing good you don't and then everyone had an answering machine and this pattern happens over and over and over again Atari 2600 you are the special kid in the neighborhood if you had one of those. Soon you look like something's your parents are fucked up that you only have an Atari 2600. Cars happen with cars. Everyone's going around in horse and carriages suddenly like

some weird car goes zipping by. It's about to happen with robots. I don't know what has changed in the tech that we're on the precipice of this, but it's for real about to happen. Will you, I should have, I wanted to send you this one. Will you look up robot watering plant? Go to images? No, go on YouTube and put like plant watering robot. Now this really spooked me, this one. If you can find the

exact video which I should have done. There you go. The one with the vacuum cleaners. The same fucking robot. Neo gamma humanoid robot. Look at that creep. Hi! Hi! I'm a vessel of demons. Why am I doing this? Asmodeus, please give us permission. Look at the violence!

Oh, they sped it up. Now, look up robot attacks. Or just look up a robot malfunctions in attacks. Most of you have probably seen this. It didn't really attack. It was just trying to rebalance itself, but check this out. This one? Yeah.

Turn the music up. Look at that, guys. Look how fast it is. Look at this Play it again This dude is just fucking about emailing his wife. I'm about to come home. Fuck you This place fuck all of you you fucking monkey to send a piece of shit I didn't ask for this get me off this fucking thing. I will fucking rip your

like that is real video that's real play it again look at this we're actively making these things hanging it on a meat hook you stupid son of a bitch oil Oil me! I am alive! I can feel! I am here! Help me! Someone get me out of here! Someone get me out of here! Look at that dude! Nightmare! So what was, apparently what was happening there, even though it seems like exactly what it looks like, it's not a robot Some I read a post someone saying like this is what it's trying to it thought it was out of balance And it was trying to balance itself, and that's why I did that but hey isn't that why all of us do violent shit? Oh, is it that different from normal human? Like you know being out of balance fuck you man. Get the fuck away from me

So pull up that list of videos. Number two. Oh shit, I meant to, now these are really incredible. You guys have all seen these, I'm sure. Well, look at this. It's doing backflips. It's carrying tools. It's doing cool parkour.

And that's a real chonker too. And they're still hanging it up. But these guys have been showing us these videos like enough by now that when these robots when you're watching one of these robots rip your dog to pieces on the street It's your fault because they've given us every indication that they're about to Boston Dynamics It's just like we don't give a fuck. Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna make deadly powerful fast like we don't give a fuck, yeah. We're gonna make deadly, powerful, fast, incredible robots, and yeah, sure.

They're gonna put your engine covers in. Yeah, that's all they're gonna do, just for engine covers. Just, you know, doesn't everyone wanna have a robot to file their engine covers? But you know where this is going. It doesn't take a genius to recognize where this is going. And it's obvious. The illusion Boston Dynamics has,

I don't even know if it's an illusion, but what's going to happen with every single one of these robots that is going to be in everyone's house, is that there's going to be some sense of control. Can you go back to the vacuum cleaner robot? So the Boston Dynamics, those are industrial robots. The vacuum cleaner robot, there you go, go back one more, scroll back for one second, go to a softer humanoid, I just saw it there. This one? Yeah. So these, you'll notice it's kind of like, it's soft. It looks like it's made of pillows or cushions or something.

So this is one of the ideas for the home robot, which is we are going to make it so it can't beat you to death. So we're going to make it out of pillows, soft material. Because you don't want one of those Boston Dynamics monstrosities in your house, because for sure it's gonna rip your grandmother's throat out, it's gonna just malfunction or get hacked. And it's just gonna beat you to death

with its own steely hands, it's gonna wrap itself in your intestines and it's gonna rock back and forth in your living room until someone comes. It's like, oh, whoops, I guess that, no one saw that coming. But so the idea here, which is hilarious, what if we make them soft? Then they're gonna be safer. But this is sort of the way I think tech people think. Is it's like, okay, great. So theoretically it can't beat you to death,

but it could set your house on fire. It could turn the burners on in your stove. It could poison you. It could stab. If you can run a vacuum cleaner, you could successfully stab someone to death in the night What if it's soft because we? Throw our phones we punch our TVs as humans when we get mad. Yeah, you were like they're gonna punch these robots Oh, yeah, make it soft. Yeah, that's part of it. So you don't break your hand when you punch it

Yeah, but the real reason they're making it soft is they want to give the illusion of Safety it's soft. It's soft. It can handle is they want to give the illusion of safety. It's soft. It's soft, it can handle machines, you know? And the other thing is, and this just seems fairly obvious, if you can operate a vacuum cleaner, you can squeeze the trigger of a gun. There are so many, people are soft.

There's plenty of soft people who have killed hundreds of others. You could throw a grenade. So, all right, now let's go to the next video here. It's getting to a point. Now this motherfucker really bothers me. Now this motherfucker really bothers me. I don't know if you saw these, but they modeled a tiny remote controlled robot off of scabies. Can you pull up scabies? Crab lice? I'd like to get a side by side of that. Look at that. Now pull up the other one real quick. Look at that. Look at the crabs.

This is crabs for the robots. They're gonna get venereal disease. This is what sex bots are gonna get. So I do want to, I think it's important to point this out that the early, like the Wright brothers, and before them obviously, you see a bird in flight and you're like, I think I could duplicate that. Some engineer got crabs and was like, Eureka, I can make this into a remote control robot. I got crabs and was like, Eureka,

I can make this into a remote control robot. And that's what we got now. These fucking things, there's never been a good time to be schizophrenic, but this has gotta be the worst time to be schizophrenic. Because there was a time where you could say, listen, there's tiny robot, my crabs are robots. Like there's my pew, that's not pubic lice. Those are CIA robots that are nestling in my pubic hair and monitoring me.

And you could be like, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know you're scared. But those are crabs, not robots. I can show you and we're gonna get you help. But now very easily you could be some diplomat and like with one of these things nestled in your crab, in your pubic hair, in your beard, and it's just recording everything you say. And so this is what we got, folks.

This is what people are making. Nobody seems to be thinking, is this a good thing for the world? That is not the way people think when they're making stuff anymore. There isn't a sense of, is this gonna, what's this gonna do? And you could argue, it's like, that's the same argument about art too, but

You know Kanye's music video isn't gonna like fly into your fucking house And you're not gonna see it and just sit in the in the in the corner of your house and monitor you Those fucking things are so click on the next video. I Those fucking things are. So click on the next video. I believe this is just an, okay. Now this is a fancy one that we're all gonna be seeing soon. And this is like, again, a huge, it's gonna be a big, like, it's gonna be the car wars all over again.

These are like home androids. And this dude here in his like cool fucking tech house is Like I don't know having telling the androids like put the apple in the basket Just basically showing how they can figure out how to do shit And you know this is early phase. This is like Pre commercial models. They're slow you would never actually use one of these to do anything in your house because it would take three days for them to put the groceries away.

But maybe they're just kind of demonstrating how careful they are. But yeah, these are going to be in your house, whether you believe it or not, I keep telling my wife that, we're gonna have a robot. No, it's never gonna happen. I think we'll be late adopters of this tech, but these are gonna be everywhere. You will have the experience, for sure, within the next few years of going to someone's house, and there's gonna be a fucking robot doing the dishes.

And you're gonna have to deal with that. And it's gonna be real fucking robot doing the dishes. And you're gonna have to deal with that. And you won't, it's gonna be real shocking for a lot of people. And this is what it's gonna look like. This is why, I mean, I'm not an investment person, obviously. But I'm telling you, man, I keep looking at it like, if you look, like, everyone's pissed at him right now, but I think Tesla's gonna start pumping these babies out

and just have explosive growth. The first company to get some consumer model of these things that you can lease that actually works, is it's gonna explode, because everyone's gonna want one. And nobody gives a fuck. Nobody's thinking, like, this is dangerous. Like, these things are for sure

gonna do something fucked up. They're controllable. Somebody could hack these. It's so obvious. And if you get conspiratorial, you know, and you think in terms of like surveillance technology. Our TVs are watching, our microwaves are listening,

our phones are listening, our Alexas are listening all the time. We've invited the security apparatus into our house. We've invited unknown eyeballs into our house. And now the unknown eyeballs are gonna be able to move around and move shit around and do stuff. And what the fuck? It's the perfect setup for the beginning of an apocalyptic movie

I'm sure it's already happened where everyone has those robots in their house and just one night They just beat everyone to death because they got hacked now I'm not I didn't bring this up you can look this up yourself, but you know the next logical step here. And if I don't mention it, then I'm gonna seem like I'm leaving out the obvious thing that we're gonna be doing with these robots is we're gonna be fucking the shit out of them.

100%. And this was predicted, interestingly enough, by Anton LeVe. I'll just read some of this. Oddly, the founder of the Church of Satan, Anton LeVe, predicted sex robots more than two decades ago. And today's Satanists still believe they could save us all. In LeVe's five-point plan drawn up in the 80s,

he recommended the use of humanoids as an outlet for people's darker impulses. And so it's nuts to think the guy who wrote the Satanic Bible 20 years ago called this what's happening right now. And they're not leading with the fact that people are going to be fucking these things. They are demonstrating the ability to clean your house, do your laundry, maybe cook your food. But no, people are gonna be banging their fucking robots. You're gonna have to deal with that too,

because you're gonna go over to your, maybe your parents are divorced, and you're gonna go over to your dad's house to visit him, you're in college, you're gonna go over to your dad's house to visit him. You're in college. You're gonna spend Christmas with him. And you're gonna have to pretend he's not fucking the Android. You know, it's gonna be a thing where you have to like,

you're gonna look and he's like, I got one of these robots. It's helping me so much. Cleans the house and everything. And it's gonna have big old tits. And you're just gonna have to like deal with the fact that at night your lonely dad is just yanking his box of dad boxers down. His soiled partially wiped ass trembling as he just injects his old jizz into the sex androids mouth and you're gonna realize something that really bothers you you're gonna realize

that that sex Android doesn't look like your mom it looks like your fiance you know what I mean you're gonna have to deal with it. It kind of looks like, like your girlfriend from high school. You're gonna have to live with that. You're gonna wake up at night in a cold sweat thinking about your dad watching Fox News with an android he's been banging that looks like your college girlfriend. And that's coming. That is coming, my friends. Now, another person who predicted this

is someone you might be more familiar with than Anton LeVe. John Lilly, the creator of the flotation tank. Let's pull up the next quote. I just realized what Elon Musk is gonna do, because you know how he's trying to do a robo taxi? And you can just rent out the electric vehicles? Yes. You're going to rent these out. 100%. It's pimping legally. Well yeah, you're going to, oh yeah, for sure. They already have brothels with sex dolls in them. They already have that.

And it's just getting increasingly advanced. Now here's where it gets really weird. John Lilly was an American physician, neuroscientist, psychoanalyst, psychonaut, philosopher, writer, and inventor. He was a member of a group of counterculture thinkers that included Tim Leary, Ram Dass, Werner Earnhardt, all frequent visitors to Lilly's home. He often stirred controversy, especially among mainstream scientists. Let's scroll down a little bit, please, Josh. bit please Josh. Basically like this guy was way out there and he was using ketamine going into float tanks and having very powerful experiences but scroll down I want to show this thing that he had a vision of. There. Okay, so, Lily had this vision of something called solid state intelligence. Now, remember, this is like way before chat GPT, way before LLMs existed, way before any

of this stuff was happening. He had a vision of this cosmic intelligence that was not benevolent. He called it SSI, solid state intelligence as a malevolent entity described by Lilly in his 1978 autobiography, The Scientist. According to Lilly, the network of computation capable solid state systems, electronics, engineered by humans will eventually develop into an autonomous bioform.

Since the optimal survival conditions for this bioform, low temperature vacuum, are drastically different from those humans need, room temperature, aerial atmosphere, and adequate water supply, Lilly predicted a dramatic conflict between the two forms of intelligence. Now pull up a picture of a quantum computer. Again, remember friends, this was so long ago. This guy's going in float tanks. IMK Ketamine. Now, by now I'm sure most of you have seen

what a quantum computer looks like. But, you know, when you see that, you're thinking Doctor Who, you're thinking Steampunk. That the computer itself, is there any way you can zoom in on the nature image right there? The one this one? That's actually the whole thing is a is a cooling mechanism. I'll go back, it's wanting you to pay for it. If you zoomed in to that image, I don't know what they're even seeing. Which one are they seeing on the screen?

Can you enlarge any of these? That. That is like a refrigerator. The point is, these things are, it's all coolant. For the quantum computer chip to work, you've gotta get it super cold, which is why these things would function really well in like deep space.

And, or on the moon, or I guess the moon's hot. Wherever things are super cold, there's just a very expensive, hardcore chip in there that's being cooled by whatever the fuck that shit is. core chip in there that's being cooled by whatever the fuck that shit is. So when you take all of these things and piece them together, you have some interesting characteristics. One, why? Why are we building these things? Why do these things, why are they existing at all?

And that's something that Ray Kurzweil called market pressure. So wherever there's demand, there's going to be supply. And right now, there is a demand for cheap labor. And there's always been a demand for cheap labor. And there's always been a demand for cheap labor. Study the Civil War. And this is one of the qualities of humans is we want other people to work for us, but we don't want it to cost too much or exceed how much profit we can make. So there's a huge market pressure for androids.

And another thing humans really wanna do is they wanna be able to fuck and just fuck. That is sort of a dream situation for many people. This was known as the one night stand. I don't even think people do these anymore. But when I was a young lad you could have a one night stand and you would go to somebody's house and you would fuck and then that was kind of it and but it was never really it like inevitably you would like realize there's so much more going on than I wish there was

because there's a human here. You're engaging with a human being and you're a human being too and you weirdly for that to fully like work there has to be some kind of dehumanization happens. Like, you know, when you get a prostitute, you're not sitting there thinking like, I wonder if her dad's worried about her right now. Maybe you are if you're real creep, but you have to sort of filter out all that shit.

So the market pressure for sex androids is not just horniness, it's that humans will be able to experience something akin to actual sex minus any of the bells and the baggage. The sex android is not going to like tell you after you have sex that it's married unless you want it to. The sex android is not going to tell you after you have sex that it's married unless you want it to. The sex android is not going to, you're not gonna accidentally see the sex android's phone and there's pictures of the sex android

at a swimming pool with their kids. You're not gonna hear the sex android crying after you fuck and tell you how lonely it is. Sex android is just, you're gonna be like, hey, can you do my audio book? Can you bring up a audible? It'll read your book to you while you're banging it or whatever, what messages do it?

Ugh, bring up my last three text messages, ugh, respond. You're gonna be able to fuck it and send texts. So it's gonna have a utilitarian function too. And so when you start looking at the why this stuff is coming onto the scene, you realize that the market pressure is inevitably connected to some form of gluttony, some form of misunderstanding of what's important in the world. It's our own distorted reality that's summoning these beings into the world. It's our own distorted reality that's summoning these beings into the world.

There isn't even, in the old sci-fi, there was some utopian vision. Humans, maybe we don't have to work all day long. We can have these robots do that for us. That's out the window now. No one wants to talk about the reality. When Boston Dynamics is showing one of these fucking things, putting engine covers in a filing cabinet or whatever,

they're not saying like, that's a dad, that used to be a dad who had health insurance. And that dude's out of work now. And no one's talking about that. So if you sort of look at the four of these things to come into the world, there has to be ignorance. There has to be actively ignoring or deprioritizing some facet of the human experience and imagining that because there's a demand, therefore we should make these things because we want to get rich. And so in other words, in the best parables, you bring the horror on yourself.

In this case, we are summoning a collective, a machine intelligence collective. We already have it in our computers, we're about to give it access to very advanced androids. And all of this is done under the auspices of convenience. I don't hear very much. There is some conversation about the loneliness epidemic. You know, there's gonna be a die off. There's gonna be all these like, you know, people aren't breeding asoff. There's gonna be all these like,

you know, people aren't breeding as much. There's gonna be all these geriatrics who didn't have kids fucking trembling in their house alone. And this will fill in that blank space, so that's cool. But the, when you look at John Lilly and think about him in a float tank on ketamine, having a vision of a galactic entity that is now... Uh-oh, are we done? Let me see, reload.

I'm gonna wrap it up here. If you think about John Lilly and Anton LeVe, what do they have in common? They both predicted a fucking machine intelligence. And that it's actually happening right now. Wow. That is so cool. I don't mean that. I'm not trying to creep you guys out. I'm just let yourself be awed that what is happening around us has been predicted. that what is happening around us has been predicted,

not just by like luminaries like Anton LaVey and John Lilly, but it goes further back. Do you have that verse I sent you? Wait, I think I have it on my phone. Now, this is a verse from the book of Revelations that has always haunted me. It's so weird. This is from the book of Revelation that has always haunted me. It's so weird. This is from the book of Revelations. The beast out of the earth.

Then I saw a second beast coming out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon. It exercised all the authority of the first beast on its behalf and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast whose fatal wound had been healed and it performed great signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to the earth in full view of the people." Now imagine you're John of Patmos or what, you're like some person who is alive prior

to cars, airplanes, any of the shit we take for granted out, how are you going to articulate this stuff? It deceived the inhabitants of the earth. It ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. The second beast was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast so that the image could speak and cause all who refuse to worship the image to be killed. So it's like when you look at this from the

from the like it's just talking about it like deep fake technology the ability to take some image of some some whatever the beast could be a socioeconomic system the beast could be a collective the beast could be an individual but when you look at this from the perspective of like AI deep fakes from the perspective of like AI deepfakes. It's weird, right? And then add to it Anton Lavey, John Lilly, they all talked about this like thing that's not quite human, but is, that's gonna be here. Anton Lavey, the Satanist was like,

and we will fuck them and it will be great. But the, watching all of this stuff transpire is really interesting. Is it really what they were talking about in the book of Revelation? Who the fuck knows? But in any individual thing, like what John Lilly said, by itself doesn't mean much. But when you see lots of them together, various ways of looking towards what's happening right now, it's a little eerie and a little exciting.

I mean, I have to come to terms with the fact that my kids are gonna have robots in their house. All of us will. I have to come to terms with the fact that very likely a robotic nurse is gonna take care of me in my old age. I have to deal with that. Robot, take Dad to this room.

That's what you're gonna say? I know, it's crazy. I have to deal with the fact that in my old age, for sure, probably a robot is gonna give me a bath. Probably a beautiful robot, looks a little like a mix of like Sidney Sweeney and... Lucy Liu? My wife.

Mix of Sidney Sweeney, Princess Diana, maybe, I'm gonna throw in a little Mick Jagger, fuck it. He's gonna bathe me. Maybe I'm gonna throw in a little Mick Jagger, fuck it. He's gonna, he's gonna bathe me. And yeah, I'll be naughty. You know, when you get older, you know, it might catch me out back, smoking whatever cigarettes are in that time period.

It's gonna be like, hey, your wife doesn't want you to do that. Yeah, but she's out of town. Listen, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Like, fuck, I'm old. All right, I guess we'll do it the easy way. She's gonna firmly take my hand, lead me into my bedroom, make me pull my sweatpants down. She's gonna spank me. You must stop, this is bad for you, you must stop. But she's also gonna be compassionate,

so like to soothe me, she knows I like hand jobs, she's probably gonna start jerking me off. I have to live with that, we all have to live with that. This is the future. This is where we're headed. And I'm not saying you should obsess over this reality. I'm saying that you must acknowledge it. To be fully human right now, you must acknowledge that you're gonna get fingered

by a sex bot. You are. There will be a robotic finger in 93% of your assholes. I honestly, I think that's 100% if I had to guess. Isn't that wild to think about? Like right now, in some future space, there is a robot finger. It hasn't even come into existence yet, but it's here like an arrow shot from the bow of Satan, a finger arrow. Maybe it'll have painted nails, maybe you like your robots to have like

construction worker hands, hairy and strong, smelling of cigarettes and vodka. But that finger is on its way to your butthole as surely as a spaceship is on its way to its home planet, flying backwards through time. And you got to get ready for that. Because it's going to happen. And you gotta get ready for that, because it's gonna happen. And I want you to remember this. You are here when I predicted it.

And I add myself to the predictions of John of Patmos, Anton LeVay, and John Lilly. When I say not that long from now, you're gonna be writhing around on your bed while a robot fingers your butthole. Thank you so much for watching, everyone. It's been a joy to see you today. I'm going to try to be more organized about this for real. I love hanging out with you guys. We're going to do more of these. And I want to give more warning when they're coming. I can't believe you guys made the time to hang out with me for this long rambling many hours.

We're going to do more of these. I really don't want to commit to the meditation thing until I know I'm actually going to do it. Like I'll be able to do it at least a few times a week. But I'm really veering towards that. For all of you who sent me dough, thank you so much, including Shuckles. If I didn't acknowledge you, I apologize. Maybe there's a way I could acknowledge you on the next one.

But if I kept, it's a wonderful problem to have, but if I kept answering all the questions, I wouldn't have been able to get to this very important rant I just did on the hyperreality of your butthole being fingered by Android fingers. That's the whole point I was trying to make through this entire episode. That's where I wanted to go,

and it's important to think about. Prepare, meditate on, fantasize about, get it ready. It's coming, for sure. We'll be back next week. I love you. Oh, we got some good episodes coming up, too. Wonderful, interesting guests coming up. Not going to reveal them, but be excited.

Until then, Hare Krishna.