Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 694: Johnny Pemberton

Episode Date: June 15, 2025

Johnny Pemberton, actor (Fallout, Mermaid) and comedian, re-joins the DTFH! You can learn more about Johnny and see his upcoming tour dates here. Dallas family! Duncan will be there for one night only! June 20th at Hyena's Comedy Night Club, doors open at 9:30pm, show starts at 10:30pm. Click here to get your tickets! And Forth Worth family! Duncan's coming to your city too, June 21st at Hyena's Comedy Night Club (they have one too!). Click here to get your tickets for the Fort Worth date. This episode is brought to you by: For a limited time only, download Cash App & use our exclusive referral code DUNCAN in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account! Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/DUNCAN for your personalized hair loss treatment options! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/duncan and get on your way to being your best self.

Johnny, welcome back to the DTFH. It is so good to see you. You look great. Thank you. I feel great. I'm moving great. My body's been super, like, all my joints have been doing really good work. This arm is pulling out a lot more than it used to. You're not as stiff. Thank you. Man, you are really, like, having this, like, insane momentum right now. I want to start off with Hollywood bullshit. Everyone's sick of Hollywood bullshit.

But dude, Fallout, you've got Mermaid, your movie just got distribution, you got your new Netflix show that I think this is why you're on this podcast tour to talk about. What happened? Isn't this the craziest? This has gotta be peak career for you. But what happened? Like, like, isn't this the craziest? Is this, this has got to be like peak, peak career for you. Just broken clocks, right? Twice a day kind of thing, you know? No. Yeah,

you know, sometimes things just line up. It's like when you have those, those astrological phenomenon when all the planets are lined up, people are like, oh, we got, this is the time to buy milk, you know, to buy the moon milk that lasts for weeks as opposed to a couple of days. And this is just that. It's just like, just common, you know, things line up. And you can't do anything about it. Sometimes they just line up. Right. Yeah.

What does that, they have that saying, millionaires tell the future reading cat intestines, billionaires tell the future using astrology. I've heard that, yep. I have heard that. I'm neither of those, but you know. I hope not. Yeah. Because astrology is bullshit, but I'll tell you man.

Cats gots, it's like the Bible. Basically. That's why violins sound so good. 100%. And why they don't sound as good anymore. Yeah, cats just they don't get the same type of protein they used to get. No, they don't. Yeah, it used to be you know when my dad would tell me he would just feed his cat dog jizz like a bowl of dog jizz. That was a very common thing in medieval times.

They didn't call it that. They called it like cat cream or something. Cat cream or like a... Forest lotion. Oh. But now they're just feeding them canned meat and I feel bad for... I mean, there's that, you know, you can get the services where they'll send you dog jizz for your cat.

Yeah, yeah. Farmer's jizz. Farmer's jizz. It's expensive. It is, but you know, I mean, what's money for? Well, you know, a lot of people, especially these days, they don't have that kind of spare change to order frozen chunks of dog jizz to feed their cats.

Fuckin', it's like $20 a chunk. Yeah, but it's the thing where, you know, the cat's life expectancy is so, it's lengthened, it has a better life. Its coat is luxurious. Oh my God, you should see my friend's cat. It's like being around a princess. Well, the golden fleece, that's what a lot of people said,

the golden fleece originally was, it's just a really nice cat. Well taken care of cat. Yeah, like a big Maine coon. You know what a Maine coon is? Of course. Yeah, it was a Maine coon, it just was so sleepy, they thought it was a fleece, but actually it's just a Maine Coon is? Of course. Yeah, it was a Maine Coon that was, it just was so sleepy they thought it was a fleece, but actually it's just a Maine Coon.

I know. Beautiful, you can't get a golden Maine Coon anymore. No. No, good luck. Good luck getting any kind of decent cat pelt. They're hard to find and controversial. And super controversial. I had one mine taken away at the, where was it, what airport, it was JFK.

Well, you know, and then there's the controversy about the service that sends the dog jizz. You know, I don't know if you saw this, I saw Tucker Carlson did this whole piece on it and it, you know, now there's all of these like whispers that it's not dog jizz, that it's actual farmer, it's just farmers, because it's easier for a farmer or a collective of farmers, I guess you could say, to masturbate and freeze it than it is to jerk off dogs. Yeah, I mean, I can't get my dog to do hardly anything, let alone, I mean, it's a girl, but still.

Well, that's going to be real hard. You're going to have to, like, I mean, I'm sure, like, female dogs squirt, but that's gonna be real hard. Yeah. You're gonna have to like I mean I'm sure like female dogs squirt but it's that's not what cats eat. No that's what that's just urine though. It's that dude busted him too man. Did you see that footage that guy who gets all the hidden camera footage and he's at a barbecue place with his farmer and I don't know what's the name of that guy man he's like the guy who went after the pharmaceutical companies. Oh Keith Keith James. Oh Keith. You know I'm talking about Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a lawyer. He's always getting people into trouble

I'm hiring people, but I guess he's friends with tuck and tuck he went to Kentucky and He ended up at this barbecue place, there's square dancing in the background. I don't know how he gets people to open up to him like that, but the farmer is just like, he's like, come on, are you guys really jerking off dogs? And the farmer's like, well, you got me, you know, it's really difficult and dogs don't come as much people think and you know So we'll just jerk each other off you humans produce more semen and then like busted dude

So now the whole operations part gonna get shut down. Yeah that being said I don't think Cats give a fuck. I don't think a cat is no Jizz and it's like this is human jizz. I'm not a cat guy either So I'm not either I don't know much any cat people out there leave a comment if you think your cat could tell the difference between Human or dog jizz me. I mean they can tell them between a hard day thing um No me either. I mean absolutely not there There is like a whole theory out there that cats are the dumbest creatures and anyone who likes cats really fucking idiot Yeah, I heard that it's a whole paper

MIT just released it MIT. Oh, so, you know, it's that's yeah, that's It makes sense. I mean cuz it's like dolphins are smarter than people, right? Absolutely. That's for sure I like 50% who was the guy did was it John Lilly? He used to study them Yes, but didn't he also? Didn't he also used to? Do that he would he would masturbate the dolphin Or he would perform a manual Well dolphins are horny creatures and like there seems to be some kind of correlation between yeah, Josh. Can you pull up a? Dolphin assaulting woman. Oh god. Have you ever seen this before?

I mean, I haven't seen it but I know about it. Well dolphins are like you know what the only creature that the only creature that aren't human that rapes right? We don't say that on you. Sorry you're the only creature that does. Take a note of that time. There's something you're supposed to say. I know you're not supposed to say that. There's a word for it. The only creature that does an aggressive essay to. Yeah and cut cut the audio on it, Josh, please. Other essays. I don't know if this is the one, the humping dolphin.

Oh, that's crazy. These are polarized, so I can't see anything. Boom. Bang, bang. See that? They're horny. So, dolphins are horny creatures. They're sexual creatures.

They definitely have a whole different set of ethics when it comes to humping than humans do, from what I've heard. But yeah, John Lilly, first, it wasn't just that he was studying them. He apparently put a flotation tank over a dolphin aquarium and would take either LSD or ketamine because he thought that dolphins were telepathic, right? And that he could, when he was high, telepathically communicate with the dolphin and I think he did achieve that communication and you can guess the first thing the dolphin said to him. Manual, what's manual simulation from him?

Yeah, that's the first, exactly, like it's just no like oh my god we can finally communicate like what do you say jerk me off man. What about the female dolphins though? Horny. But do they, do they ever ask anything of him you know? Did he ever talk about that? Listen, in the old days right when like sailors when there was a pod of dolphins swimming by You would just jump in the ocean

And it was like an orgy like sailors were just like pirates with bang Dolphins like this is part of where they think the Mermaids came from right or that and also manatees. Manatees are fucking weird. Manatees are weird, they're also just so, so ugly that it's like, that just tells you everything you need to know about sailors. Is it a sailor would think that that's,

you've been out to sea so long and you're so like sunbaked and been eating like saltwater biscuits and stuff that you wanna have sex with that thing? Arrr! Sex with a fucking manatee. Arrr, I've got the fire in me lines again. saltwater biscuits and stuff you want to have sex with that thing fucking manatee I've got the fire in me lines again look out there that beautiful creature mermaid free look at her beautiful hair and it's whiskers yeah daughter of Poseidon look at that what is the pirate voice even a pirate

voice is like it's almost like Irish, right? Yeah, it's kinda Irish. Arr! Who goes there? Arr! Let me meet ya! Captain Jack Sparrow, I challenge you to... Who can have more sex with this beautiful... I keep dumping, I keep dropping. Who keeps becoming like this? Here, a fucking pirate!

The Irish accent will take over. Irish accent will take over Everything will go to Irish eventually Maybe all pirates are Irish it kind of makes sense I'm I'm pretty sure that there was a lot of Irish pirates. I can't be certain of that Irish Irish I'm Irish Irish Irish Irish Irish Irish remember when When was the last time you went to Disneyland? Oh it's been a while, couple years.

So you know, most people have gone to Disneyland since they were a kid or they've had a couple of encounters with that. Do you remember when pirates of the care, when like they had to take, like the original pirates was an actual, probably what would happen if pirates attacked your village. I mean, pirates are the worst. They're chasing women around. They're like, it's really- It was that little spend or the guy was chasing the woman

because she is a prostitute, who, that's what she does. Is when the pilots come to shore, When the pilots come to shore, they take some services there. Yeah, absolutely. I think she's chasing him with a rolling pin now. Yeah, she's chasing him, which isn't much, but I think they actually even... Yeah, it is a rolling pin. Because he sold some bread or something like that when you like when I think right like these days My wife and I were very careful about what we show the kids right like that you know I find myself in like the classic stereotypical dad role because you know you're watching shit with the kids and

You kind of want to watch something a little more interesting, right? So you kind of make it work in your head You're like they can watch Star Wars. Oh, you're trying to like justify showing something to them that you wanna see? But it's self-interest. Yeah. You know, I could, but also it would be fun. I can't wait for the first time

to watch Star Wars. For them to see Star Wars. And every fucking time I start showing them Star Wars, it's crazy, it's like mom telepathy. Like, I could be like like Erin, go upstairs, take a break, we're just gonna watch some shows. And she'll go upstairs and then like, she just, yeah, right when it's getting cool, she comes down and is like, don't show them this.

You can't show them Star Wars. You can't show them the dark crystal. You can't, because movies from back then were, our parents didn't care about us. And certainly Walt Disney didn't have the same sense of what kids should see. He's like, yeah, that's what pirates were like. They would invade a village and just assault women. You didn't think that's what was happening when you were a kid though. I guess not. But I also think it's good, because some of that,'t think that's what was happening when you were a kid though. I guess not, but I also think it's good because some of that, I think that dark stuff is good

because it's not, it's unfiltered, you know, it's like actually kind of bad because things are kind of bad sometimes, right? Well, yeah, but when do you start introducing that to a kindergartner? That's the question. I have no idea. I think I would not know because I would think, oh, like when I was trying to talk to your kid the other day, your oldest, about reading, I was like, I assumed he could like totally fully read books now. But I'm like, oh, he's not reading yet?

Like, I just don't understand that that age is not, it's just to me, I'm thinking like, oh, you start reading it like for me. In kindergarten. Yeah, or something like that. I didn't realize that that's the age you start learning how to read. Yes.

In my mind, it's like, totally, he's way more advanced than that. But I'm like, oh, wait, this is a little kid. This is a little, little kid. And you do have to wait for that stuff. But I just have my experiences so I just don't understand it. I don't know. Well, yeah, me either. I didn't understand it. I don't know. Well yeah, me either.

I didn't understand it. I didn't know. Like in the beginning you have no idea. And you know, when I was, before I was a parent, you know, I would look at like young children like they were just not even there. Like when you're a parent you begin to realize that you're dealing with a fully aware being severely confused by lack

of information. But like a supercomputer that's learning. It's like this crazy... It's just a person who can't talk. It's a person who doesn't know English yet. It's a person who has no... Who's like not bilingual, is unling... Like it's a non-linguistic person who has a lot of things they want to say, a lot of things they want,

and they're infinitely frustrated by their inability to walk, move, reach most things, and especially tell you what the fuck they're trying to say. Yeah, make a point. Oh, yeah, and they have points they want to fucking make, and they have to learn to just sort of like resign themselves to maybe This will get through maybe at one Luckily a lot of what they're saying involves like snacks And what are you supposed to do with a kid because a lot of times?

I'll talk to my neighbor's kid or like your kids or something like that and I don't understand what the kids saying But are you supposed to go like okay? Uh-huh. It's supposed to pretend like you know, or you supposed to go like, okay, uh-huh, are you supposed to pretend like you know, or are you supposed to be like, like, um... This episode of the DTFH has been supported by my friends at Cash App. And I do mean my friends because I don't carry actual cash around anymore. Do you? I don't want to go to an ATM. I don't want to get those weird rectangles with the cult symbols all over them soleying up my pocket. You really want to have a bunch of cash in your back pocket. You know how many people have just desecrated cash? Do you know when you're holding that filthy, slimy money, you don't know. It's

been in a lot of bad places. For sure, someone has farted on it. For sure, it's been shoved in somebody's, I probably can't say it on a commercial. You don't want that stuff. And so because I wander around without that stuff, inevitably, when I'm out on the road, you wanna tip the taxi driver, you wanna tip the valet, and you don't have cash, and now you look like a total dick. You look like a dick.

What are you gonna be like, I'll go down to ATM and come back? I've tried that before. The look they give you is like you piece of shit. You're not coming back You're not going to an ATM and they're right Because not because I don't want it legitimately tip But just because I don't want to go to the ATM it takes extra time. I usually have to poop so this is where cash App comes in. And always they will say, I take, I'm like, well, is there another thing we can do here?

And they always, they take Cash App. Always. That's what I love about it. It has freed me from having to have that filthy disease devil paper in my pocket. And it's easy. You can send it a little emoji. It's cool. And most importantly, it's easy. I mean, honestly, that's what I like about it best. It saves me from humiliation, and there's not a lot of complexity in setting it up. And it always works. And everyone uses it. Pretty much everyone uses it. The only

people who don't use it are like old crusts. But if for some insane reason you don't already have Cash App and you're like, hey man, I'm not a crust Just download it from your phone's app store sign up enter my code Duncan in your profile Send five dollars to a friend and you'll get ten dollars just for getting started. Think about that right now Just from watching listening to my podcast you can make five bucks. You can give your friends five bucks All you gotta do is download the app, use code Duncan, send $5 to a friend. You'll get $10 just for getting started. Again, for a limited time only, this is insane.

New Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash for real There's no catch just download cash app and sign up use our exclusive referral code Duncan in your profile you send five dollars to a friend within 14 days and you'll get ten bucks Dropped right into your account terms apply. That's money. That's cash app. Thank you cash app What Until they say something you understand you supposed to, I'm sorry, I don't understand you. I don't know if there's one answer to that. It just depends. Sometimes, it seems like what they're saying is important.

My wife is more of a translator, so she could be like, this is what they're saying. But sometimes, you do have to kind of, there's a slight amount of like, oh, okay. Now they could be saying like, I see your aura. You should understand that if you don't deal with what happened in your past incarnation, you're going to keep repeating this fucking cycle. And I came here to tell you that that's the only reason I incarnated. But it sounds like, yeah, but really, what I've learned in interacting with children is and it sounds obvious, but I don't think for a lot of people it is

because that is just Treat them when they're as though they're like an adult not in the sense of like you talk about right Like an adult, not in the sense of like you talk about politics with them, but in the sense that you give them the same attention you give any human. And if you do that with any... I remember when I first started dating Erin, kids, babies would go by her and like look at her and smile and like it was the wildest thing. Now I think I know what's happening is she didn't see, she doesn't see them as like sort of unhuman things. And they feel that, of course. If you've been getting carted around and people are like barely looking at you,

or if they do look at you, they're not really listening to you or paying attention to you in a human way, and then someone like is aware that you're aware, it makes a big difference. That happens to me a lot too. I'm traveling. I'll like, some kid will see me from really far away and they'll be like, dude, look at me like this guy's looking at me.

So I'd be like, you know, make a face of the kid and have this weird little game. Yeah, really far away or you're making a face and making the kid laugh and stuff. Yeah, I think that's so much more fun than any adults because Adults are like so boring in terms of like especially with comedy You know what I mean? Like if you make a kid laugh, it's so much the best so much more gratifying Fucking best yeah like when you get them go cuz once You find the thing yeah,, you can keep them laughing to the point

where they could barely breathe. And it's the best sound. I mean, if you think audiences laughing is great, one kid like legitimately laughing. Like just dying. Oh, the best ever, man. It's the best. And surprisingly, you know, not that easy.

Like you can tickle him and get him to laugh, but like dialing in. Like an intellectual laugh? Yeah. What were you like, you like, wait, do a second, you stop for a second, and you do it, it's like. Yeah, that, yeah. You hold back, and then you do it again.

It's amazing, yeah, it's like, you know, my kids, like, you know, I play like Bill Hicks for them. Oh, really? You started with that? Not into Hicks. They're not into Hicks. Yeah, that makes sense. They think he's kind of self-indulgent.

That's their analysis. Too many words. You know, they say, the middle child says, like, I get why probably people thought this was interesting based on, like, my understanding of the zeitgeist back then. He's sort of in the tradition of Lenny Bruce, I guess. But couldn't you kind of argue, like, Carlin already did this and this is just some kind of, like, you know, Texan alcoholic George Carlin or something. But hasn't it already been done in a more concise way? Big argument with a baby over that.

She loves Hicks. She thinks he's got a lot of great gags. Yeah, yeah, I guess maybe she's watching different stuff, you know? Yeah, well, I mean, you know, I don't know. I don't even know where she's watching him. I don't show them Bill Hicks, but like I guess she's I don't know if kids are just fundamentally aware of some of them. Maybe at the playground? No idea. They pick up on Hicks. We just let them walk to the playground. I don't know what kids are just fundamentally aware of some of the... Maybe at the playground? No idea. They pick up on Hicks. We just let them walk to the playground. I don't know what goes on over there.

A lot of kids. I heard there's a lot of birds that are doing that now. They're doing Hicks. They're doing Bill Hicks jokes and stuff. These birds are doing like parrots and stuff. They're just doing like, you know... Unsuccessfully too. It's like, I mean, you know, Bill Hicks was like, sometimes not good at doing Bill Hicks.

And so then when you see like some bird trying to imitate that style and there's no punchline, and it's just sort of like, but you know, the thing is, there was a time where everyone and their friends weren't saying the kind of things Bill Hicks was saying or Terrence McKinnon was saying. There really was a time where you could ramble about the singularity or any of the stuff I love talking about and people were like, what the fuck?

They hadn't heard it. Now everyone's heard this shit. I mean, I feel like a lot of people have, but I was also, I'm surprised sometimes when it's the opposite, when you go someplace and you talk about stuff and people are just like, what? They have no idea. You know, how do you not know,

but how do some people know so much? Like, how is there no intersection here? It doesn't make any sense to me. It's just like, you know, I guess it just depends on what the algorithm's serving up for them. But it feels like, and it's impossible to say, we're all in our own little bubbles, but it feels like there's more people

who are aware of things that used to be the sort of classic stoner underground stuff you would talk about. It seems like that is no longer underground. In fact, that has become a kind of played out, almost annoying, like not that it never wasn't annoying, but. But at least it was more, it was more fun. It was more like, I don't know what you're saying,

but it's like anything, right? Everything becomes in time. The underground goes above ground with time. The thing that's punk becomes mainstream. And all these things just end up, it happens to so many things. It's something you can do about it. It's just like the nature of culture, right? To go from being underground and limited to being everywhere. It's like marketing, you know, like when you see stuff, ugh, I keep feeling like I'm gonna die from marketing. You know what I mean? Just like, you see like Q-team,

like there's this thing at the hotel, okay, there's an area of the hotel that's closed off. And it's a little sign, and it should just say closed. Currently closed, or, you know, it doesn just say closed. Yeah, sure currently closed or um, you know It doesn't say that it says something like this path shall not be taken Everywhere now Maybe you have to ask yourself. It's an important. Okay. I know what you mean, but maybe you have to ask yourself It's an important question to ask yourself. Am I just cynical?

like in other words like so like yeah, is it just that we're the part of our lives now where that shit doesn't work on us anymore and there there are so many people who go to that hotel and they see that and they're like Whoa, I they could have just said don't come here but wow this path shall not be taken pretty cool hotel babe like you know it works I don't know. I think about that all the time because it's all the stuff I see and it bothers me so much that I'm like what's going on here is this I don't know sometimes I think that maybe it's because I'm noticing it more because

I'm not doing enough of my own thing currently. Like a dry sponge soaks up everything. So if I'm a dry sponge, I'm going to soak up even dirty water. But if I'm a sponge that has moisture in it or something that's from my own making or my own choosing, it's going to be harder to pick that up because I'm not going to be so aware picking stuff up. No, I think it's a good sign that that bothers you. I do think that's a good sign. I mean that. I can remember taking acid with my friend, Emil, in Chapel Hill, and we did the mistake that you should never do, especially when you're on like an authentic acid trip,

which is we turned on the TV. Oh yeah, okay. You know what I mean, don't do that. And what happens is, stuff that you used to just sort of think, that's the TV, it looks, it gives you the same feeling that sign gave you. It looks ugly, it's putting on the sunglasses and they live, right? Yes. That's what it is. Yeah, it is like over the edge of the screen, It looks it gives you the same feeling that sign gave you everything ugly. It's putting on the sunglasses and they live right?

Yes, that's what it is. Yeah, it is like overwhelmingly dystopian it seems Blasphemous almost and and you're watching like I think we're watching MTV So we're just watching some you know hip MTV personality talking about some music video and Both of us are looking each other like oh my oh my god. Oh, it's like watching a black mass yeah, you know like watching demons cavort in hell and

when so the acid is just sort of like peeling away the callus in it is just sort of like peeling away the callous that allows you to engage in the world of absurdity. And so I think that's a good thing to sort of get that sense of like, why is it that it feels like anywhere I go, someone is trying to seduce me or manipulate me for a variety of weird reasons, none of them good. Yeah. I think it's also, you have to remember that a lot of people are just really, they're really,

I don't mean this as a pejorative, but they're really normal. They're very like, just have a very simple, normal life, and they've also probably never taken... never even had a psychedelic experience. Not only not taken any psychedelic drugs ever, they never even had a psychedelic experience in their life. And so, there's so many things that you don't know what you don't know. You're so closed off, but not in a terrible way. It's just, you know what I mean? It's like you just haven't...

There's just a less level of awareness, and that's just your life. You don't know that you're not feeling that stuff, because you can't. It's like that thing where, like, if once you are, if you're looking down upon something, the thing you're looking down upon can't tell. It just it does not have the same perspective. It's just their perspective is. Just slightly more rudimentary, I guess, you know, it's so so mean and so like, so like, I don't know.

I don't know. I think like for sure This doesn't happen to me anymore because I'm an adult but Don't you remember when you were a kid you go over to a friend's house and It's a formal house There's a formality like in my family was like too, where if you would go to a Thanksgiving dinner, there were a set of like fairly severe rules. It was a formal situation. There was things you should do, things you shouldn't do that, you know, obviously that's

any house, but this was like formal. And if you fucked up any of these things, like, it would not be forgotten. Like, you could really offend people. And it was walking in, in the middle of a game, of like a board game where no one explained the rules to you. And so you're a kid too, so you are gonna fuck up in extreme ways.

So that I feel like I've experienced, I've encountered a kind of hyper defensiveness that is generational, that generations of their family have developed this incredible defense mechanism to block out the freaks. And so if they pick you up as a threat, it really could rile them up, but that's weird, too I mean our kind of weird is weird, but that's fucking with like I actually went through a whole period I'd love to know your thoughts on this I'm still there where I think the concept of normie is a myth I don't think there's such a thing as a normie

There's just different types of weird. It's all Weird across the board. There is no way to achieve normie status in on a planet Because the situation is so absurd Innately that they're achieving a normie level is impossible. Yeah, I mean, but isn't that sort of just perspective then? Like it's just like one person's weird and another person's normal and vice versa.

It's like when you go, if you go to like a psychedelic conference, everyone's the goddamn same, because they're all there for the same thing. But if you were like, it's like Robert Smith wearing a hockey jersey. Like that's weird because he's a punk, but he's wearing this sports jersey. So he did that thing where he flipped that on his head because he's not supposed to be that guy, but he did. So it's like this two worlds crossing. That was a powerful moment. Yeah. That was a real powerful moment in the goth universe.

Right? Yeah, that was a pretty incredible, in fact, that he did that. Well, he just did it his whole career, right? I mean, still doing it. But the, what I mean is, so the weird is self-referentialential you want to be weird I mean, this is generally what like you hope you're weird. You don't want to be a normie. And so the weird calls the nor weird for Normie means weird when you're a weird

When you wanted to call someone weird, you don't call me or you say they're normie but really what you're saying is they're weird and What I'm saying is there is yeah it's not just perspective it's like how can you achieve a normal mode of being in the middle of infinity yeah there's no normal in that sense. There's no weird, there's no normal, because you see, yeah, the time lens is infinite. We could also make the case of some of the weirdest people are the ones who appear the most normal. Always. That's how you be super weird. Yeah, always. As you undercover. Undercover, well that, yeah, no, that's like, that's where, that's, that, you know, that's the other thing, is we're talking about a scale here, where we've placed ourselves somewhere on the scale based on our own

sort of like looking at ourselves and comparing ourselves to a very small data set, by the way. When you run into most people, you're just catching little glimpses. Yeah. You have no fucking idea what's going on behind the scenes. And what's going on behind the scenes, I have a feeling based on the... Quadsillion terabytes of pornography that exists in the world, I'm pretty sure nobody's fucking normal. I'm pretty sure that there are people who are more adept at conveying some kind of onstage persona,

but offstage in your house, dude, God. This is why people get into peeping. You know, this is why people creep around, like to stare in fucking windows and look at people because Probably when you see people in their natural element you just get this Realization that we live in cuckoo land You know people are fucking nuts people are putting diapers on a monkey You know no doubt right now. There's somebody just putting a diaper on a fucking monkey in their house.

Well, you have to. Otherwise, you get shit everywhere. That's what they say. Yeah. But you're also kind of like, well, did you have to get a monkey? Yeah, but the monkey gives so much back. I know. I'm trying to get to the point where I can have a monkey.

That's why I'm working so hard, is I just want to be able to get to the point where get the monkey, then I get the miniature donkey, and the monkey takes care of the miniature donkey so I can go on vacation without having to deal with... And do shows. Do shows. So once they have the, we have to have two monkeys. You could do a one monkey show. I could, but I mean, but I want the two monkeys to take care of the miniature donkey so I don't have to have someone come in at night to take care of the monkey when the monkey's sleeping Because the donkey is gonna be up. Oh, you mean so they could take shifts. Yeah shifts So if I have two monkeys, yeah

Then I can have one miniature donkey and then I can also have the goats because the goats can't be alone either miniature, too No, just regular sized goats. I want to have maybe you have to have at least two goats. Don't you think that's gonna not fit in with the aesthetic of miniature cuties at your house? No because the miniature donkey is so big. How big is a miniature donkey? It's about the size of this table. Oh yeah. It's just shorter. It's got shorter legs. Josh could you pull up smallest horse in the world? Have you ever seen these little guys? I have actually I'm a big fan of smallest horses in the world I really love them

So I mean I mean miniature donkey is similar to the smallest horse in the world Look at those fucking isn't that isn't that a full isn't that a baby no account. I don't think so dude I'm pretty sure that's a full-grown. Yeah, is that a giant is that a foal? Isn't that a baby? No. It doesn't count? I don't think so, dude. I'm pretty sure that... That's a foal grown? Yeah. Is that a giant... Is that a toddler man or is that a micro horse? That is Lindsey Graham last year. That's Lindsey Graham. No wonder he's having some problems.

That's Lindsey Graham before he got the Necronomicon. I thought that was... What's the guy's name who's been having the issues with his staying conscious? The old guy? The guy who kind of drools Which guy you know the guy literally described like 90% of the people in the federal government the guy who had the freeze moment Or is like bar. Oh Yeah, yeah, well they cut him off. What's his name again? Oh that guy. He's out isn't he I know you're talking about Who is that you know the guy we're talking about everyone fucking

I do it. He's like Mitch McConnell Mitch McConnell. Yeah, can you pull it? Fuck the little miniature horses pull up Mitch McConnell freezing? This is actually fits into like I know you're doing Metzger's podcast coming up You should bring this up to him, but yeah go to YouTube Mitch McConnell freezes YouTube Yeah, there it is. Yeah, that was a classic freeze. That was a, and you know, these freezes are more common than people think, and it's not just happening with the old. I mean, an old freeze. Oh, turn it, oh, there you go.

Look at this guy. There he is. You're in hell and all your friends are demons. Why am I in your face all the time? I don't even know, do I even exist? You'll see me for the rest of your life. You might see me while you're dying if your TV's on. Can you imagine that? Hey, I'm everywhere. That's why, imagine seeing that as you die. Here we go, a little freeze up.

This week has been good by partisan cooperation and a string of... Doing a Van Triloquist thing. Bye bye! Bye bye, and they're all like, god damn it. What's your hearing go? Brrrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr br stroker okay now Josh pull up you remember when that basketball announcer the sports broadcaster froze like that really dude check this out sports broadcaster freezes there's a whole this is a whole genre I haven't got into freeze genre yet oh dude it's so weird this is this fits into the idea that like a lot of people among us are actually androids and sometimes they fuck up

Scroll up to that very first one Dream on green. I don't know if that that's not the one scroll down a little athlete Like you know what maybe maybe look up our celebrities robots I? Need to start creating a file for these, Josh. It's not fair. Our celebrities happy is the first thing that came up. What dumbasses are googling that? Of course they are. Of course they're happy.

Of course they're happy. Hold on. Obviously. Hold on, let me just look it up on here real quick. I'll be able to find it faster because these are the kinds of things I do when I'm by myself late at night as I look these things up. And then we'll talk about your show coming out, Johnny.

Sounds great. Celebrities, celebrity androids, I believe. Let me just see if I can find this real quick. Uh. This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by Hems. Close your eyes and imagine what you'll look like six months from now. How's your hair look? Does it look like this? If you don't do anything about it, it's Does it look like this? If you don't do anything about it, it's going to look like this.

You got my head in there? You want your head to look like this, man? In six months? I'll show you this in six months. It won't be better. I can promise you that. I'll show you this in six months. It's like those videos people take, time-lapse videos of things rotting

Let's see this in six months. I'm sure whatever valiant attempt my my my scalp is making to sprout hair It's just gonna give up you can see if you remember the last Commercial for hems you can reduce. I'm sure whatever the but I don't even want I don't watch it. I want to see Hems you can use I'm sure whatever the but I don't even I don't watch it. I want to see And yeah, I do like think it's fascinating that Hems Sponsors my podcast It's kind of like Botox Doing a commercial for the most wrinkled person on earth

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if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information. Thank you, HEMS. Like what the fuck dude It just zoned out. No, man. That's weird. He looks like that's just weird But like the McConnell thing Clinton you could find a million of these I wish that I collected a fucking Repository of videos because there's so many of them. Oh wait. Here's one look at this our Roker

I'll send this one to you Josh. Oh wait the the I'm gonna check text it to your phone There you go. Look up our Roker freezes Al Roker freezes. It's just like something happens to their circuitry or like they lose whatever the internet connection is. Just watch. It's really weird. Here it comes.

Here it comes. About to lose the signal. He's about to lose the signal. Did someone just say something crazy? No, dude, look. It's frozen. I'm just being Devil's advocate right here. Why wouldn't you be skeptical? But man, what the fuck is he? What happened? Did someone got like a hypno spiral over there he just saw?

A fight? It's weird. I think Devil's advocate, he just had had a little he shit himself a little bit. Ah sort of like he's you know Yeah, we shit your pants. It's kind of like okay, okay? Okay, okay, where am I what am I gonna? Do okay? I can't move cuz it might dislodge and go can I be the devil's advocate? I kind of know why you're doing this why cuz you're fucking Hollywood And so when we start you know pointing out what you probably already know

That many of you have decided to go live in Tartaria or wherever in the Hollow Earth. Did you freeze? There you go you froze And I have no idea how to unfreeze them. You clap twice and rub your nose. I love what's going on with all these yogurt places now, because they've started, you know, they were gone for a while, and now, pink berry, I think it's kind of, it's making, I think it's great. It's back for me. It's healthy for sure. Yeah, yogurt is healthy, like you were saying. I totally agree. For me, it's bad. Yeah, yogurt is healthy, like you were saying. I totally agree.

God, I do too, man. It's so, you know, once you eat yogurt, bang! Once you eat yogurt, and then you try to eat ice cream. I wanna die, bro. Can I just start right now? Yeah, yogurt not, bruh. Yogurt over, yogurt type shit over ice cream type shit dog. Hell yeah, and you know I love it when they cook my yogurt.

Yogurt type shit. I love cooking yogurt. Cook it, cooked up. Grilled. Ripped. Fried yogurt. Yeah, I mean, because yogurt has, fried yogurt has riz.

Dude, especially when you put strawberries around it. Like a strawberry display. Who is this guy? Who is this guy? Who is this guy? Give me the strawberries type shit. I will not have a fucking yogurt without a little circle of berries You gotta have that even blueberries. They're called blueberries You know what? They're really called border berries you got to get them around their side a little parameter of Berries that cuz it keeps me from otherwise. I'm gonna dive it in there. I'm just gobbling

It's kind of like those circle of berries is like the circle of protection you necromancers in Hollywood Do to keep the demons out when you do your rituals The best thing about having this miniature horse is that you can ride it. Oh dude, I think that if you had a team of miniature horses, a team, oh. and I think that if you had like little warriors that rode those horses, Monkeys? Warrior monkeys.

Yep. That you could take over any city with that because if you let's say you had 50 trained miniature horses, 50 trained monkeys, you get them dressed in cute little outfits. Clearly they have scimitars. Yeah. You know, everyone's like, oh my God. And you hear the gallop of these adorable horses galloping in. This is how Ukraine could win.

Yeah, it's a novelty overload. It would create, it just, there's nothing you would stop. Get them right to Moscow. You could get them right into fucking Moscow. You could probably, like Putin would come out to like laugh and then they just fucking decapitate everybody. It's the classic Trojan horse of novelty. Yep, the Trojan horse of novelty. That's the classic Trojan horse of novelty. Yep, the Trojan horse of novelty.

The Trojan horse was about, that's the gift complex, but this is different. This is the novelty complex, because the gift complex is done. You can buy everything online now. And if you want something, you just Google it and get it. You used to not be able to Google and get. You couldn't grab and go.

Now that grab and go is everywhere, you've got this immense physical novelty that rolls into town, literally rolling in, and that's like, oh, I can't order that. So when you see that, your aces are down and they're plundering in. They got you. Now, don't you think, like, when they were deciding what to name Trojan condoms. That the person who named them either didn't understand what condoms were for or didn't understand what the Trojan horse was. Because the idea is you don't want your dick

to come out of the condom. Right? So, you know, and I'm pretty sure when they named them Trojans, they weren't thinking of like actual Trojans. They meant the Trojan horse because you're putting something inside of something. Yeah, the Trojan horse because you're putting something inside of Trojan horse. So it should be called Trojan horse condoms. They could

Yes Or not Trojan horse. Trojan condoms not related to the horse condom. Well, they should be called horse condoms. Horse condoms anything like how about giant sealed horse like gift that will not open up? Vaults. Vaults. Vaults, condoms, super sealed horse gift. Can you pull up Trojan condoms please, Josh?

Yeah I never... Also, are you trying to... you shouldn't be trying to trick the that's why I'm saying That's why I'm saying Trojans are fucked up like oh you're trying to trick your way in there Well exactly that's what I mean now they have the classic Trojan on the on the front Which has always seemed to me though everything about Trojan Commons Nothing seems less sexual than the way that they're packaging these condoms. Like, nothing about them strikes me as like, we're about to fuck. They look kind of like food. Or like cold medicine. They're just boring. Yeah, it looks like whatever's about to...

Oh, twisted though. Twisted. Where? Let me see those. The orange ones. Twisted. Oh my god. What is that? What's the... Can you enlarge that? It's probably got some orange juice in there. Premium lubricant. Premium lubricant! Premium lubricant. New look. I'm so out of touch from this sort of thing.

Me too, I'm married. Like, what is this? I'm married to an Irish. Oh, it's so popular, it's gone. It didn't work is what it means. You don't know anything about condoms at all. Nope. You've never even touched one? I'm so out of the condom scene now. You show one to your wife, she's like, what is that? I have no fucking idea. What is that? You know, once we talked about like wearing a condom because it seemed like it'd be like kinky.

Yeah, the Irish pH evidently just melts them. It just swallows them up. Just dissolves the condom. Uses them in the baby. Like puts them, like uses them to grow the spine. I put on a condom, you gotta get extra babies. Twisted. Deep, pleasurable spiral ribs. Triplets guaranteed. They're so gross. Oh, what's it say on the bottom?

Irish need not apply. What's worse than the stink of a fucking condom though, man? Wasping up when you're banging that fucking smell. It's so gross. All the, everything implied with a condom, too It's just like it's like you look, you know, I'm disgusting and you probably are too. So let's just put this stinky fucking Slimy thing in between you and me and hope we don't die. Oh, it's the worst It's the worst but you got to wear condoms, man

Got to wear condoms you end up with a bunch of kids. Yeah now Johnny you have On top of this movie mermaid that just got distribution on top of fallout where you're killing it tour coming up in July To her coming up in July. You're so busy You have been working on this fucking awesome show for Netflix Just a little project honestly it kind of just got out of control. You know gone pro with Johnny now tell me I'm curious like Honestly, I was a little surprised when you sent me the clips which is is amazing. I have a lot of questions about them, but I was kind of surprised that this show hasn't been done before.

It seems like it would be so... It seemed like it must be easy to shoot a thing like that. You just put a GoPro on your head and like... Tell me the inception of the show. Well, actually it has been done before. It was done in Latvia under a different name, and they were doing it with the cameras on the face. Okay.

And I just saw this when I was in Riga for a few weeks. So what do you mean like you would... So you like a selfie or something? So it was a Latvian guy who was... He did the GoPro wrong. He was wearing it wrong and people loved it because it was like, you know, in his face. But would you see where he was... Like what he was doing? Yeah, you would Reaction videos every time he thought he was turning it off. He was turning it on

So you basically just see videos him sleeping So they tricked him. It's a trick show well he tricked himself and somehow somehow the footage got downloaded when he went to a hotspot and It was just some person's some like publicistist's laptop. And she put it out. And it's, you know, it's terrible. But it's like just mocking sort of content that the Latvians love. The Latvians love personal embarrassment.

I didn't know that. It's some weird offshoot of like the Russian, I don't know what it is. It's a weird thing. But I saw that. I was like, what if I flip the script on this and did it the opposite? Turn the GoPro around. Turn it on when I want to turn it on and turned it around to show out. So people see what you're,

yes, people see what I'm seeing. Body cam footage basically. Exactly, but more like a head cam. Cause we all, I mean the body cam is on the body. Bodies are so like, what is a body? It's even the word body's kinda like, can you say that's kinda gross. Was GoPro, they must've been excited

that you innovated this way of wearing a GoPro. Because like most of the time when I see people Well, they must have been excited that you innovated this way of wearing a GoPro. Because most of the time when I see people with a GoPro, they're either holding it like a camera or yeah, just holding it like a camera. I saw some dude who tied it to a broom and was doing the broom cam thing. So did GoPro, it seems like GoPro wants to reach out to you like holy shit man we this is an incredible use of the camera. Yeah they're very excited it's really cool for them. I mean it's one of those things just happenstance it's so fun that

they're into it. The fact that I'm using this in a way that it wasn't intended but you know sometimes that's how it works like Post-it notesit notes. That was an accident. Was it really? Yeah, it was. How so? Because they were trying to make a certain type of adhesive and it didn't stick. They were like, oh, we can make this on a Post-it note because you can take it off. Same with Scotch tape. So this is a case of like never give up.

Like you were trying to make a strong adhesive. Probably generations of that, whoever invented that, their family is like, gonna be like, filled up with adrenochrome for the next hundred years. Oh yeah, just wealthy beyond God's knowledge. Oh my God, man. So not only is the show innovative in the sense that you have utilized the technology in a way that no one has used before. Ever, no one's ever.

But what was the pitch like? There's a guy named John Calculator and he's their main pitch acceptor. Yep. And I just- I've heard of him. Yeah, John Calculator. Read about the whole thing in variety about him. It's not his real name obviously, but you know.

Ah, that's weird. I thought that was his last name. Yeah, I thought that too, but he told me, he was like, hey, just so you know, it's not really my last name. Is that like a title they gave him. Yeah, it's a Netflix I've been hearing Netflix has these new titles that they give out. I got the calculator John Calculator. It's John the calculator It's John the calculator. I just showed him the stuff I was shooting so I just was shooting it myself and that was simple as that So I mean that's some of the stuff I'll show you it was really just me shooting it before I pitched it

Is it true? This is one of those rare pitches that you get the deal in the room? Yeah. Damn. We had a deal going into the pitch. They were like, yes. Just so you know, we were saying yes when I was getting a. Wow.

When I asked for a hot coffee instead of an iced coffee in the waiting room, they were like, OK, we're going to just tell you. Really? It was a really hot day, and I had a hot coffee So that's you so you that is unique I know I mean I've heard I know like when you're doing auditions when you're doing pitches try to stick out a little bit But that's fucking brilliant. Yeah, they just were like he's a rebel. I ordered 96 ounce drip Hot piping hot so much. I know I like a lot piping hot and I said you want sugar milk

I'm like no fill to the brim like they said are you sure you don't want sugar or milk? I'm like no I want it black all the way at the top and they were like wow this guy's gonna drink 96 ounces of black coffee fucking badass and they're fucking bad So we're gonna tell you right now. It's a yes go on there have some so I even pitch because it's just for fun Fun, you know, I mean, it's like like Everything's a formality now, right? Right Stanley cups formality. Yeah, exactly It's just like I know it's gonna win. I know it's gonna win. So, okay, so

I guess just Show me the The teaser that I sent you. Or just show some clips. Yeah, you're gonna love this. This is cool. Thank you for letting this be the podcast we announced this on. This is a really cool opening.

Damn, high budget. Gum Pro. Spelled your name wrong. That's on purpose. Oh. Yeah, they didn't want two Ns. It's competitive. But wouldn't that be Joni?

No, it's not actually I mean it you can say it however you want to play it one more time I want to take a look just cuz I worked in animation I kind of I'm always interested when I see this level animation who animated that it's fucking incredible This is Bill skiff Wow, Bill skiff and Carlos round tree are the main people who did this that that's cool man just that alone is yeah That's gonna. I'm sure I'll be seeing this in the top ten so You sent me some of these clips. Why don't you show the animal control and Josh? This is fun. Yeah, this one. Yeah, I'm with an animal control guy. I'm doing a ride-along. Yeah, we don't play it yet So you're you're doing a ride-along with animal control. Yeah, do you pick the so wait each episode is?

What you with your GoPro having adventures? Basically? Yes, exactly. Okay, and How much of it scripted I got asked none of it None of it scripted totally off the script. I'm actually blindfolded. That's the kicker. What yeah So I can't see but the GoPro can so you have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on I'm sorry here. Oh my god. So I'm just ears only and even then I have earplugs in so it sounds really quiet Damn, all right play the clip So here you are you? Looks like he's getting some raccoons out or something. What's something? What's this all about? What happened with these? So here you are.

Looks like he's getting some raccoons out or something. What's this all about? What happened with these? So they got a call that some raccoons were in the Taco Bell dumpster, which obviously they didn't close it. It's supposed to close it and lock it. And they got a call to deal with that and I'm riding along. I'm going to check it out and trying to orient myself and pick myself and pick up the and film it and stuff like that. Here's the thing you know I I know these are

the clips Netflix is letting us show this the press kit but you did show me some stuff off record from this episode. You know man I gotta say I don't know how people are gonna take it because you know the cute raccoon stuff is fun. The kangaroo thing is funny. Like, the fucking kangaroo in LA they got out is really funny. And super funny, the thing you said about the pouch, like, it's a Gucci pouch, like very LA, because in Beverly Hills, it's funny.

And yeah, it was really cool, you put your hand in the pouch and all. But- I found money in there, too. Really? Yeah. So people have just been shoving money in the kangaroos? Just coins. Our soupy old pouch?

Just coins. Like they probably thought it was like going to tell their future. It was like a coin operated thing. Yeah, we don't know. I think some people, it started as people were, the kangaroo was picking up money because it thinks it's food, and then people started putting it in there like a wishing well.

Ah, okay. Yeah, and you capture a lot of cool stuff like LA, like quirky stuff like that, but man, I don't know if, like, well, 10 minutes of that episode is just animals being euthanized and cremated. Like, it feels like a really dark ending. It starts off so lighthearted, and then it's just dogs being put to sleep. The kangaroo or the raccoons in the beginning get put to sleep. Animal control is just, I mean, the sense I got from that is like animal control just kills animals. Like it's animal murder more than control. I guess murder is control, but. So don't you kind of feel like it might be met with a... This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know one of the things, like sometimes I'll come home, I've had dinner with a friend,

my wife will be like, you know, he will have said something and, you know, a problem he might be having or something. And you know, I didn't get all the details. All right. and a problem he might be having or something. I didn't get all the details, all right? And she's like, what? Don't you know the details? Like what happened? I'm like, I don't know, I didn't want to bother him.

Didn't want to be nosy. She's like, guys are so fucking weird. Like when she goes out to eat with her friends, it's like they open each other's Wikipedia. Not literally, but their heart Wikipedia. They share everything. They're emotional. They connect on an emotional level.

Maybe you don't do this with your guy friends. Most of us don't. If you do, congratulations. But it could be that our sort of weird way of interacting with each other is the reason that six million men in the US suffer from depression every year often undiagnosed It's okay to struggle

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And it works with an App Store rating of 4.9 out of five based on over 1.7 million client reviews. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at help.com slash Duncan. That's better. H e l p dot com slash Duncan. You don't feel like that. I just love the way that these guys are doing steaks. Because I like a steak, but I don't want to eat that much steak. You know what I mean? That's why I think it's such a fun idea. You kind of zoned out for a second.

Yeah, sure I did. Yeah. Do you have that clip you you wanna play about the show? Oh yeah, this one, you gotta tell me about this because I guess just go ahead and play it and then we'll talk about it. Oh, this is fun. So this is really wild to me because I thought, I didn't think there were bee-ives that were this big.

You actually went into a diabetic coma after this for about two weeks because of all the honey the honey how did you first of all like? Where are there be eyes that you can walk around in? This is in Saskatoon Saskatchewan no shit mm-hmm what? but those bees like that like That's like the size of a dog or something. It must have been loud as fuck in there. Very loud. Again, I have the earplugs in so I'm okay, but it was really hard to hear.

You know about the... Why didn't they attack you? Because these are actually mammalian bees. What the fuck? They have bones? They have blood? These are like bats, but they're bees. You know about that thing where the farther north you go the mammalian species get bigger? Yeah. Like squirrels in Minnesota are bigger than squirrels in Texas. Absolutely. That's this phenomenon about, they're not that much bigger but they're bigger. Yeah. So that's the same with these bees because we're really far north in Canada there. Right. And these bees, these are mammalian bees. It's some sort of a thing. They've been around forever. I don't know why I didn't know about them

This feels like Mandela effect shit to me I'm not going in there was giant fucking beehive. They're not that big You were walking around in it man. Well like a chipmunk. You're like a chipmunk. That's like about that big You know a chipmunk. Yeah, that's not huge, but you're not a chipmunk. No These are did they're really big but they're not bees or chipm you're not a chipmunk. No. These are, they're really big. The bees are chipmunk size. The bees are chipmunk size. No, I'm saying the hive itself. Yeah, the hive itself is really big.

It's like a, what? It's like a Sephora or something. It's the size of like your average Sephora. Fuck! Yeah. And you weren't scared at all going in there? I was, but I can't be. Otherwise, the guy who was running it was

like you're gonna get, you'll won't be able to find your way out because what they do is they rearrange the hive so you're always... What? Yeah, that you know those things now they have for VR where you're walking and you don't stop walking? Yeah, sure. There was a reason they're hexagonal like a beehive because that's where they got the technology from So this is some kind of way to deal with predators is you just get out lost and lost and exhausted Did you see any bones in there? Oh, yeah, are you tons of bones? You don't say animal bones. You didn't see any human bones in there. I mean, I'm not a bone expert

So I don't know they could be be. There's some big bones. I mean, it could have been like a buffalo or something. It could have been like a deer. A buffalo and a beehive? Yeah. Why? To get the honey. Yeah.

The honey's sweet. Have you had honey before? Love it. Yeah, I do too. I don't like it anymore. I can't have it now. I have diabetes. Well, now I definitely can't have it. Yeah, I do too. I don't like it anymore. I can't have it now. I have diabetes.

Well, now I definitely can't have it. Yeah. I'm done with honey. But yeah, you got sick from all that sweet honey. Really sick, yeah. How, like, were you, at first you probably were just like Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory like eating it, and then, like, it is when you have a lot of honey in your mouth, it gets really like...

Yeah, it gets almost like electricity. It's just, to be honest, electrical. You can feel all the ions just going into your teeth. It's that fucking, it's like eels. Yeah, that's almost like electricity. It's just, to be honest, electrical. You can feel all the ions just going into your teeth. It's like eels. Yeah, that's why eels are so good. You've had eel sushi, right? No, but I've had an electric eel swim in my mouth when I was a kid. Really?

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Horrible. Tell me about that. Well, I was learning how to swim, and again, I come from another generation. Now, my kids, it's like swim lessons and there's someone in the pool with them. But I grew up in coastal Georgia.

And I almost drowned in the swimming pool because I did not know how to swim. No one had taught me at all. And my brother was swimming so I just jumped in, went right to the bottom and they resuscitated me, thank God, and my dad was fucking mad at me because I didn't know how to swim. And I remember telling him, no one ever taught me

how to swim and he's like, no one taught you how to breathe, you're breathing and so, you know, are you fucking stupid? Are you stupid? That's the best way. Did I drink too much? And so then he, did your mom drink too much? Is that what's wrong with you? And so, you know like when your parents would grab you by the scruff? And he dragged me five miles from the pool you're at.

Five miles through people's yards, through someone's fucking house, through a department store, through someone's fucking house, through a department store, and those days things were different. Some people were just laughing. I remember hearing somebody go, you teaching your boy to swim, Jules?

And so, and I'd just been resuscitated. And not like CPR. Like back then if your kid drowned they would just fucking Slaps the slaps they would open your mouth pour whiskey and step on your stomach. So when you Yeah So yeah, he just took me to the marsh and I remember like

Like the name of that part of the marsh was eel marsh and I'd heard about it because it's filled with electric eels. And he's like, you know what? Sink or swim. And he threw me in, and I sank. And this is why I believe in God. I was under the water screaming, and an electric eel swam right into my fucking mouth Jolted the shit out of me like a like like I had drowned again basically But like it's just like the pumpers they put on your chest when you're dying the fibrolar. Yeah the fibro. Thank you and just I came rocketing up out of the water and Because I was so vaulted like I just I don't know know how to explain it, that's how I learned to swim. And, yeah.

That's a classic tale, isn't it? The eel teaches the child. Oh, yeah. It's very archetypical. I mean, it's so deep, you know? And I remember when I got out of the marsh, my dad, like, sitting with him, and he's like, listen, I didn't want to drag you by the scruff. I don't want you to die, I love you.

You're my son, you're one of us. And the way that we've been doing this for so long is not the way of most humans because you must learn these things now because the time is coming, the seals will be open. Eels the wheel. Eels the wheel. The eel's the wheel. Nowels the wheel. The eels the wheel.

Now. You'll never feel. Let's show another clip. This one's crazy. Like, can you stop it there, Josh? That's fucking nuts. Yeah, this was not fun. So.

I did not like this at all. Can you start it over again? It looks like you are the second baby coming out of there. Yeah. So you are twins in the womb? Uh-huh. Play that again. This was terrible.

It was really intense. You know, I'm glad I was there. Who is that lady? How did you get inside of her? She works for Netflix. Huh. Like, what, a producer? Yeah, I don't know.

They just found her. She's one of the many employees there. And they just got her ro She's one of the many employees there and they just they They got her roped into this situation and we just you know, how long were you in her womb about 15 hours? With another baby. Yeah another baby. I mean you are an adult with a baby Yeah, but somehow I could fit I don't know if it's some sort of a quantum folding thing or something like that But they were I mean a lot of this stuff, I'm just like- Did you have an umbilical cord?

How were you breathing in there? Yeah, sort of like an umbilical cord. It wasn't like a biological thing. It was some sort of technical apparatus they have. A lot of this stuff, I don't ask questions, you know what I mean? Because we're trying to shoot all these episodes so fast. They just said, okay, we got this thing set up for your next standalone. Can you play it one more time, Josh?

That's just a crazy shot I mean that's gotta be the first time an adult has been born with a GoPro on their fucking head Did you think the GoPro would hurt her? I don't think she felt it cuz she was you know pretty keyed up with everything going on there You know what I mean? That's crazy. So there's the baby you were in the world Yeah, and then go back one more time, because let's face it, this is kind of risque footage if you think about, I mean, you know what that is, that's her pussy, right?

Vagina. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, when it's a baby being born, you don't say that. So did you go into the fetal position? No, I just sort of tried to walk around a little bit, but it didn't work. So I had a bunch of snacks with me. I had...

What? Yeah, I had a bunch of snacks. I was just really hungry. And so that was their idea, actually, you know, because they knew I would freak out. So they just like, if I was really hungry, they made me be really hungry in there. So I just busy myself with eating a ton. That's cool. By the time I finished all my snacks, I realized, oh hell and then it was I was coming out I was like wow

guys okay. Did it bring any like birth memories but did it feel familiar like I've been here before? I know it's like to be in the womb. Yeah I sort of feel like I've done like a thousand times does that make sense? Like reincarnation stuff. Yeah I felt like I've been there thousands of times. I mean I know I know people have been in your mom a thousand times. What do you mean? Thanks so much for coming on the show, Johnny. That was great. Everybody, it's Gone Pro with Johnny coming out on Netflix. What is that, August release?

Yeah, I think so. That's the, it's going to be one episode every two months. Let's get that to the top ten, guys. Check out Mermaid when it finally comes out. The new Fallout series. Come see me in Oklahoma City and Tulsa and Kansas City and Springfield in July. All the links you need to find Johnny will be at dunkintrustle.com. Rest in peace.