Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 706: Sad Heart Lollygaggin'

Episode Date: August 17, 2025

No more lollygaggin' about with your sad, sad hearts! On the toilet with your pale belly out! You are part of the divine unfolding! Australia family, Duncan is going on tour starting August 21! Click to get tickets for his shows in Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, and Perth! Thank you, and we love you!!

Born like this, into this, As the chalk faces smile As Mrs. Death lasts As the elevators break As political landscapes dissolve As the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree As the oily fish spit out their oily prey

As the sun is masked We are Born like this Into this Into these carefully mad wars into the sight of broken factory

windows of emptiness into bars where people no longer speak to each other into fist fights that end to shootings

and knifeings born into this into hospitals which are so expensive that it's cheaper to die into lawyers who charge so much it's cheaper to plead guilty into a country

where the jails are full and the madhouse is closed into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes born into this walking and living through this dying because of this

still but because of this castrated debauched disinherit because of this fooled by this used by this pissed on by this

made crazy and sick by this made violent made in human by this The heart is blackened The fingers The fingers reach for the throat The gun

The knife the bomb the fingers reach toward an unresponsive God the fingers reach for the bottle the pill the powder we are born

We are born into a government 60 years in debt That soon will be unable to even pay the interest on that debt And the banks will burn Money will be useless There will be open an unpunished murder in the streets There will be guns and roving mobs Land will be useless Food will become a diminishing return

Nuclear power will be taken over by the many explosions will continually shake the earth radiated robot men will stalk each other the rich and the chosen will watch from space platforms

Dante's Inferno will be made to look like a children's playground The sun will not be seen and it will always be night Trees will die All vegetation will die Radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated men The sea will be poison

The lakes and rivers will vanish rain will be the new gold the rotting bodies of men and animals will stink in the dark wind the last few survivors will be overtaken by new and hideous diseases and the space platforms will be destroyed by attrition

the pittering out of supplies the natural effect of general decay and there will be the most beautiful silence never heard born out of that the sun's still hidden there awaiting the next chapter oh yeah welcome to the DTFH live friends I just live friends I just wanted to give you a little upbeat something to feel good today. You got to start your day on a positive note, friends.

You can't just wake up and lollagg about with your old sad eyes and your sad heart. The victim mentality that has brought all civilization to its very knees. Do you not understand that you are an emanation of the divine intelligence made by divine mind perfect in every way designed to co-create and unfold this infinite playground we call time space in any way your precious perverted little heart desires you need somebody to sit on your face well then you manifest that and you don't do it by some vision board like josh has a vision board no no no you use your mind you use your heart most importantly you find that boldy Cheetah energy, understand. You are connected to emptiness. And though for a lot of normies out there in gin pop, that might make their poor little snowflake bodies just shudder. My friends, listen to here, it's the most beautiful situation that there could possibly be. The entire numeric system depends on that big old goose egg. Zero. It's all based on nothing turtles all the way down. Friends,

and what that means is you can do anything you want. You're not conquering. crystallized. You are not frozen in some terrible amber like one of those sad old ancient mosquitoes that the kids stare out at the museums. No, you are free. You are part of the divine unfolding. You are part of the great tapestry of life. And if you are not taking advantage of that during your precious human incarnation, one in 70 trillion chance that it could even happen, then what are you doing here? You're sitting there on your old toilet. your old belly staring at your phone trying to find anything something to get that dopamine flowing and yet there you are one of the probisci of god shoving through time space ready to spray out

anything you want but instead you just observe you just digest you just consume that's why they call you consumers out there that's what they think of you they think of you as a consumer that's it That's your value in the capitalist system to consume because they don't want you understand. You're not consumers, you're creators, you're not inhalers, your exhalers. Well, you got to inhale sometimes so you pass out. The point is, you are here to make light, beauty, joy, sweetness, or anything you want. You want to shit up the whole party. You could do that too.

You can make bio-weapons. You can make whatever you want. You are free. A free, Papa was a rolling stone. Now, songs about you. A rolling stone, just like planet Earth. Just an old rolling stone stuck in the gravity well, that damn old sun. Too bright, too dense, too heavy, which is why we must eliminate the sun.

Welcome to the DTFH. We're going to do it. We're going to get rid of that old sun. It's too hot here in Texas. I've done with her. I'm done with her. I've had enough of it. All the sun worshipers, you could suck my dick. I'm so tired of it. Go make your foul, blasphemous offerings, that burning old coal up there, but we're going to take it down. I don't care how many pigeons' heads you chop off. I don't care how many goblets you fill with blood. I don't care how many pyramids you stain with the jizz of old men. I will destroy the sun. But first, we've got to take down. The root cause of it all here on planet Earth. Those pyramids, the pyramids of Giza, are tethered to the sun. That's the reason it's there.

The reason that sun is there is because it's like those pyramids with the grubber hands of a baby holding on to a helium balloon, made a nuclear explosion. And we've got to get that old hand or release. Let go with that balloon. Let it fly out. Go on to some other galaxy so we can drift free and apart. Do you want to be this close to Mercury?

That old shit planet? Do you want to be this close? We're in a bad neighborhood, friends. We've got to get rid of the plants. We've got to get them drift free. And to do that, we've got to get rid of the pyramids. And the way we're going to get rid of the pyramids is by making the DTFH live. More popular than Mr. Beast.

Once we do that, friends, once we do that, we're going to have the income we need. So that I can finally get rid of those old stinky mummy storage units. They call pyramids. Get rid. I don't care what's under them. I don't care what's under the pyramids. I don't care any more than I care what's under a cemetery filled with dipshits. We, that should be a golf course.

I can get rid of the pyramids. And I need your help to do it. We're doing it. Josh, what subscribers are we at now? 156,000. 156,000 subscribers. Now, that's good. 156,000.

That's a lot of subscribers. Not all them active, not all them active, but we've got to get that exponentially up. And to do that, I need your help. Some of you going door to door, that's great. It's not enough. Some of you're putting up flyers. That's great. It's not enough.

Some of you go to your work and you make announcements during lunch breaks. Subscribe to the DTFH. You got to take out these pyramids. It's not enough. I need more. I need more. If you want to have daylight like these sun works, worshipers. My skin's chafed. My feet are sun burned. I fell asleep with my feet in the sun. And that was the last straw. That was the final slap in the face from the dick of the sun. And we're going to castrate that dick. And that dick of the sun is invisible. It's attached to the very top of the great pyramid of Giza. Docking! It's docking with the pyramids. And we're going to get rid of it. Snip, snap. If you're watching this sun,

snip, snip, we're going to take you out, and you're going to do it with me together more than a team, more than a group of subscribers, I don't even like that term, but a family. You know, they say blood is thicker than water. Now, a lot of dipshits think that means that the family is more important than your brothers on this sweet planet, your sisters. No, blood is, blood is thicker than water. Yet another saying that got fucked up by the sun worshippers. It actually means the blood shed on the battlefield is thicker than the water of the womb. That's right.

That's right. That old womb water. Briny, salty, viscous. You don't want that. You want that battlefield blood. That's what we share. You and I, brought here by technology, joined together by improbability itself. And yet here we are together, linked your soul and mind, your mind and mind, breathing in unison.

That's what conspiracy means, to breathe in unison. But this isn't a conspiracy. No, no, no. This is a funspiracy. This is the spiracy that will lead us to freedom. Finally, the earth can drift free through this beautiful universe. Drift free through the galactic ocean. And then we perhaps will find a better sun, less hot, less obnoxious.

We'll find a better solar cycle, this whole year thing. It's a bunch of shit. Why do we have to do a year in a year? Why can't we do a year in 10 years? If we did that, everybody would be 10 times older instantly. Don't you want to be 10 times older? Or maybe we could find a shorter solar cycle if you want to be young. We could pick and choose.

There's a buffet of suns out there, friends. Look up in the sky. All those beautiful suns just waiting for us to pick one, hang out, float around it for a few years, and then drift on out. Tether it with a pyramid, slice it free. That's what the Egyptians knew. That's what they did. They'd find a sun.

They'd tethered to it with a pyramid. And guess what happened? They tethered to the wrong sun, this old son of a bitch with the solar flares. It emitted an EMP, some kind of bullshit. Melted our deer ice caps, caused the ocean levels to rise. Eliminated Tartaria.

Eliminated the great civilizations via the mud flood. Go to any old city and ask yourself why the fuck are their windows buried in the sidewalk. sun buildings. Why the windows have sidewalks running through the middle of them? Well, it's because of that mud flood. And the mud flood wiped us out. Not all of us, but all the dummies and some of the smarts. And we forgot about untethering and retethering the sun to the pyramids. Now we're in this garbage situation. We got dipshitschits to the left, dipshits on the right and dipshits in the center. Everybody's gotten politicized. Everybody's

talking about world events instead of talking about getting the fuck away from this shit son and moving on it's time to move on so you need to hit that like you need to hit subscribe you need to tell your friends to subscribe you need to tell your family to subscribe i have not seen sky riding no one doing skywriting is it asking so much of my sweet brothers and sisters, to just get some skywrite and subscribe to the DTFH. Where's the sky right and where's the commercials on Fox? Surely one of you people can just do a commercial on Fox News. Make me proud, but don't do it for me.

Do it because you want your children to enjoy a different sun than this old shit bag. Like the dangling balls of an old sailor draped over our beautiful planet. Dripping photons on us. And those photons are bad, tangy, musty, over-bright photons. You did sunburn! You get sunburn! You think it's normal to have to run mayonnaise all over your body before you go out there in the heat, and yeah, I do mayonnaise.

It's the only safe sunscreen, mayonnaise. I was just in a swimming pool, rubbing mayonnaise all over my body. and some audacious Karen had that gall to come to my chair and say, why are you rubbing sunscreen all of mayonnaise all over your body? What are you? A hot dog?

And I said to it, you want to see my hot dog? Because I'll show you. And I'll put it right in your bun. Now run along, Karen. Run along! She ran away. Weeping and crying. When the frog croaks,

The snake comes. When the frog croaks, the snake comes. And there's a lot of croaking frogs out there. There's a lot of croaking frogs out there that would like to keep yours truly away from public pools. Oh, I'm sorry. Can you show me wearing the Constitution that says I can't cover myself in condiments when I'm laying out in the sun? Just like George Washington did? Every founding father, they would cover themselves with mayonnaise.

At the signing of the Constitution, you can go and look at the original constitution. You will see drips of mayonnaise all over that thing. Beautiful mayonnaise. American mayonnaise. When they made it right. When they used American eggs to make that mayo. Now they're using Chinese eggs. That's why it doesn't work as well.

I still got to burn. that's why I need American X to make America how can I do that I don't want to do this anymore I don't want to do it anymore welcome to the DTFH

guys what you just heard was Frank Blanders many of you have been listening for a while you know one of my favorite musicians it's Fergus Blanders I was delighted to find out that Frank Blanders

his brother actually makes music Fergus Blanders as you know he went on a small tour of northern India, I believe he went up into Bhutan and to play at some incredible roadhouses up there. And unfortunately, disappeared, leaving very few Blander songs left. I could play one for you. Let me see if I can pull this up. I hope you guys are doing good. And I believe that was Frank Blander's cover of Charles Bukowski's famous poem Born or Dina. What's it fucking called? It's called, uh, hold on a second here.

Dina something. Dina. Charles Vukowski. For those of you who don't know who Charles Bukowski is because we are living in the Kali Yuga. Dinosauria we. Uh, you could look at poem up if you, if you like that, then you like poetry. You nerd You nerd

Right, Josh? I mean, I like Charles Burroughs Nerds Nerd Nerd Nerd alert Nerd alert

Nerd alert See that was a trap That was a trap Every one of you Saying you like that You're a nerd nerd alert for those of you didn't say anything

you're not nerds those of you said anything you go back in the chat forever marked as a nerd forever if you wondered sometimes you probably as a nerd

you wake up and you're like am I a nerd well go look at what you posted poetry loving nerd oh my god you felt right into the trap that I set for you.

Josh fell into the trap. You fell into the fucking trap. You guys are fucking nerds. Even if you're listening this to audio, five-minute self-band ban five-minute bans for the nerds. And for those of you who don't like poetry,

hell yeah. Hell yeah. What are you going to do? Get your little typewriter right. So, sweet. Is that what you're going to do? You're just going to compress language into some perfect form and create a kind of infinite feeling that transcends time space for every fucking nerd. Is that what you're going to do?

You're going to do the hardest thing. You're going to take the human language and compress it down into a few briefs lines that everyone will love forever. You fucking nerd. Five minutes self-bant. Charles Bukowski was a nerd, king of the nerds, alcoholic nerd. did you ever see him kick that woman of course i saw that he was drunk yeah and that's just that's on camera yeah poor son of a bitch he was uh an old grizzled nerd an old barnacle nerd just a walking old callous gristled beautiful perfect nerd he was a perfect nerd and you guys are not

perfect nerds you guys are just fucking nerds and even bukowski i'd slap him right in the fucking face. If I saw Charles Bukowski, I walk right up to him and slap his ass. Pull up Charles Bikowski, Josh. Go to YouTube. It feels so good to slap Charles Bukowski right across his drunkle face. See that nerd look? Oh no. Look up Charles Bikowski live. Charles Bikowski live poetry. Look at this old dork. Reading his poetry live. Fine, there's one on him on tape, reading his damn poetry. See if that's it. Yeah.

I don't know if he's reading one, but look at this old gris old thing. Reading the poets has been the dullest of thing. Yeah! Even reading the great novelist of the past, I said, Tolstoy is supposed to be special. I go to bed. I read War and Peace. I read it. I read it. I say, where are this specialness in War and Peace?

I really tried to understand. He got duck behind him. And then many of the great poets of the past. He got a duck behind him! I read their stuff. I read it. All I get is a goddamn headache and boredom. I really feel sickness in the pit of my stomach, I say.

Maybe because you drank 7,000 tequila. There's some trick going on here. This is not true. This is not real. It's not good. What the fuck? He fucking farted. Can you imagine how bad it?

He's farts, smell that burnt the camera out. You got a duck behind him. You don't need to show anymore. He got duck behind him. Oh, duck man. Duck man. That's a duck nerd. He got a duck behind him.

Duck man. Fucking nerd. Fucking love to slap his face. Duck man. You got a duck. Oh, you got you little drunk duck. Fuck him. Anyway, this is Fergus Blanders.

Let me just find it real quick. Let's see if I got any on my computer. It's very hard to find Fergus Blanders. There it is, Blanders. Let's see here. It's very hard to find Fergus Blanders, you guys. And I don't know if any of these actually are. Let's see, I don't know if any of these are actually going to work.

Yeah, this is him. It'll make me cry. I can't play it. He was, you know, he was battling alcoholism. Hold on, I'm going to share this these guys. Hold on. She doesn't work. Hold on. Except cleaning the world, believe it. It's so.

good. This is like a really hard to find this stuff. It's hard to understand him, honestly, but I love him. He has a Kanye beat. Yeah. Connie's, you mean, Kanye has a Blander's beat. Right, right. I mean, I guess that you're allowed to do that now in this dark world. You just steal people's shit, I guess, and just play it and that's great, right? Is that great, Josh? Do you think that's good? Well, there's

Nothing new under the sun, right? Shut the fuck up. Where'd you get that? Where'd you get that from? Nothing new any of the sun. There's a poem. What does that even mean? What does that even mean?

You're saying that because you know I hate the fucking sun. Isn't it? Isn't it? You know who else hates the sun? Bill Gates. What? Maybe even Bill Gates should talk about the sun. What?

Yeah, Bill Gates. He wants to block out the sun. Yeah, well, he's got the right idea. I mean, the thing is, like, the sun is causing way more, way more problems than it's worth, if you really think about it. It's causing so many problems. And, look, I'm not, I don't want to do this, like, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the direction of the DTFH. And I'm not, I don't want to, I'm not a political man. I, I'm not a TikToker, you know.

I'm not like that I don't go on TikTok like some somebody with a creamy brain somebody with custard brain staring at fucking TikTok watching dumb ass narcissists make their lives seem great when off camera they're

fissing themselves while scooping big bowls of diarrhea into their mouth I don't do that I mean I fist myself but I don't do the diarrhea scoop that the TikTokers do but what happens is

it's like look it's a contagion it's it's a psychic malaise number one nobody's political just want to put that out there if you think you're political you're not number two uh the the the the the peritting sort of chirping of of whatever the fucking talking points some you saw someone on ticot say is the is human centipede, right? It's like you imagine the next time you're on TikTok, actually paying attention, some psychopath rambling about nothing that that person's ass has been stitched to your lips and they're shitting into your mouth. But guess what? There's another ass attached to that. I'm sorry, I have to explain even if you haven't seen it. It's one of the most extraordinary

and inspiring films of all time. But the point is, at some point, after this constant, you know, excretion of chewed up, digested, I guess you don't, I guess you don't chew in humans. Could you chew any of insinipede? Did they? I guess you could. If someone had stool, I guess if you're like in the front of the link. It's shoot, it more shoots it down the throat. Well, it depends. I mean, you can't. I mean, I'm saying if you, if you're listening, if you're lips or someone, you could still chew. Yeah. All I'm saying is, it's sort of neither here nor there, but if you're in the human centipede chain, you probably do want to be able to chew in case somebody somehow is

still managing to add not enough water prior to becoming part of the centipede chain. You don't want someone's hard stools. You want to chew them up. So the point is, this is what's happening is like an infinite regurgitation of idiot diarrhea. and none of it is real or valid or has any point to it at all. So the next time you find yourself with your little diarrhea fingers, clicking some shit out of your fingers, just ask yourself, where did I get this idea? What do I care, actually?

What am I saying? Am I thinking about how people react to it? If that's what you're thinking, just stop typing. Because you're just doing this because you want some reaction. and if you want a great reaction there's way better ways to do it go to a cemetery uh dress like a ballerina and like dance and you're going to get awesome reactions so many other things you could do than then post on reddit or TikTok or whatever you're no one's political just not even the present no one is politics is dead it no longer exists there's no such thing as politics it's just it's

Star, it's like a, it's Star Wars. It's like people talking about Star Wars. None of it's real. It's an echo of something that was real before. But now that they fucked up at the particle accelerator, it's not real anymore. So go, you can go to any ballerina store and you can find your size of ballerina outfit. You can add flare if you want. There's so much you could do with a ballerina outfit. It doesn't have to be like the classic like Barishnikov. thing you could just whatever wings like cool wings and so the next time you want to post some political shit on reddit you put your ballerina outfit on and go to a cemetery go to a funeral at a cemetery and you can come jumping from behind a tree do some ballet and stay if you like they might

invite you to the funeral that that has happened to me or move on you can hit 17 cemeteries a day depending on where you live. And that, my friends, will get a reaction from humans. That's what you're looking for. If you're up there with your little stinky fingers because you don't wash after you wipe your stinky fingers or maybe you have jock itch and you've touched your balls and then you're spreading that onto your keyboard

with whatever thing you think you're saying that matters. It doesn't matter. The next time you want to go post something, it would be better for you to find an empty well in the country in the desert sit on the well and shit into the well that's the same thing it's the same thing you'll get more of a reaction from the well because maybe you'll hear your shit plop in the water and will echo so you don't no one's political anymore all that being said think that Bill Gates is the greatest man that ever lived. Now, let me see if I can get this to play for you, Josh. He is. He's the greatest man. And I don't want to plug my own book on my own

podcast, but I do have a book coming out. It's called The Greatest Man, things I wish I could have done with Bill Gates. I've never met him. But it's just like little fun stories of like me and Bill Gates going to Disney World, me and Bill Gates going in a submarine, me and Bill Gates going to that cool German club where people dress like Gimp's and you can like go down in the basement and just get banged down by a Gimp. Me and Bill Gates flying in a UFO. Me and Bill Gates vaccinating whales. Me and Bill Gates circumcising dolphins because I was going to do vaccinate the whales and circumcise

them. But I thought it would be cool to like, I actually needed just more pages for the book. I did a Dolphin chapter too. It's kind of like the two are, I mean, you'll see in the book. They're good. Me and Bill Gates, playing fetch with a dog. That's fun, just in the park, fun. Me and Bill Gates flying up all the farmland in America?

Me and Bill Gates buying farmland, which is fun. Like, it's really, it's more like me and Bill Gates riding in a truck to check out a farm that we're thinking about buying. And we get to the farm, and the farmers are kind of like, you know, wanting a little bit more money for the farm. And then it's worth. But also, you know, they're like a little bit of a pickle.

It's a pickle farm too. It's actually the name of the chapter is in a pickle. I mean, it's a cucumber farm. Did you know cucumbers, pickles are just like fucked up cucumbers? in vinegar and salt? Yeah. I haven't heard of that. Then how did you know vinegar and salt?

I thought it was from a vinegar and salt tree. What? A vinegar and salt tree. No, that's, no, that's where you get, what do you think you put cucumbers in a vinegar and salt tree? It's crazy. You grow cucumbers next to the vinegar and salt tree, and they come out. That's how they used to do it. You're not wrong.

Organically. Yeah, but then they figured out a way to get it to juice the tree. Yeah. So you get, anyway, don't want to get, fucking, you're, don't want to get lost in the weeds here. But, yeah, so basically these cucumber farmers are just in a lot of trouble. And they've got daughters. So it's kind of a hot chapter. Yeah.

It's a hot chapter. It's, every story actually is erotic in nature. You know, every story ends with either me sucking off Bill Gates, Bill Gates sucking me off. 69ing Bill Gates. It always ends up with some form of blowjob. But you, it is, I'm going to, I'm not going to ruin the ending, but it's pretty, let's just say, have a Kleenex next to your bed, because it is, uh, it's, uh, it's incredible. Okay, let me just get this Fergus Blander's song. I need more. This is why I'm very excited about getting neurologically, connected to my computer because then I could I don't have to like pull shit up and

focus on it like I do right now. Also I do want to say something very important here which is oh my God it is here. I can't believe that worked. I thought I lost this. I was really depressed. I had to pay a lot of money to get this recorded. Yeah, I'll play this for you guys. This is classic Blanders. It's called Fisherman's Wife. And I honestly thought I lost it. Hold on. I'm going to send this to you. Let's just play this. And you can pull that video up again too Josh. Let me hold on one second. Wow, there's a lot of these here. Hold on.

Oh my God. I thought I lost all these. He's so good. I'm sorry. I'm going to just stop doing the podcast and listen to this. I'm not careful. Hold on. Let me find where I put this. I do want to say this real quick, guys. When an older person is working with a computer, if you say anything to them to try to help them, then you're an ageist piece of shit. Okay? I just want to say that. I'm so sick of younger people trying to help me with tech. Fuck you. I don't need your fucking help. Yeah, it's going to take longer. It takes me longer to change babies diapers, but they get changed. You can do it. We believe in you. Don't do that either. That's even more fucked out. so thank you for not doing that i don't need your condescension

you ever like getting argued like if someone says you're being condescending you know it's a great thing to do ask them are you sure you know what condescending means it's the best dude it's really a lot let me tell you it's worth it's worth it's Before, this is like, you know, for those of you guys who are married, this is some good marriage advice. Okay, I just send it to you. Like, if your wife says you're being condescending, say, are you sure you know what that means? They love it. And then they're so happy when you do that.

Wives love to laugh, and that makes them laugh. Did you get it, Josh? Did you air drop it or email it? It's saying Josh was MacBook Pro. Yeah. Well, let me try again. um share erred

don't say anything okay there you go well bet this is fucking blanders and someone I guess recorded over the tape or something

but it's really good all right here I'm a cat me I'm just about the mouth of a listen and a woman

chicken please I'm a motherfucker chicken please you know I want to turn your knees, don't think you see, and the fished to see it. Tell you to feel the season. Oh, it's all the songs.

I don't know. I didn't have a fix that board. I'm not. The fisherman's wife smiled. The fisherman's wife smiled at me is off to sea. I see it. The night before

I shed her bed and she told me the tale of how her husband left for sea was eaten by the whale and spat upon some foreign shore where he could only fail I thrust my rod into her mouth and she spoke no more. I believe in angels, because that's what I believe in angels, because that's what I see. This could ever be Yeah, Flanders is awesome, man. Like, just, you know, I like his brother's work, but his stuff is a little more experimental.

It's a little more danceable. And I prefer it. Now, I want to, let's just switch tracks here. I do want to show you guys something. Josh, could you pull up that Kill Tony article? Oh my god If I could do segment cards Which I don't know how they do that

It must be impossible What was the thing called? I texted it to you It's called Look up Kill Tony Slate Slate Now If I could pull up title cards

I would call this If you can't beat them Join them This is the craziest And funniest shit ever this is Luke Winky wrote this article

Tony Inchclos fame skyrocketed after he made a joke to spooked even Donald Trump in Texas I watched how he became the most powerful comic in America now scroll up well actually I'll read it on mine you guys should look this up

it's so funny because basically you know kill Tony I guess has become the most popular podcast or like the second most popular podcast in on the planet and this has chapped a lot of people's asses uh because you know with um with with with stand up certain things like it's interesting

because like things just suddenly become like global and there's no way to really predict that and you can't really control it though many people have tried in the And so kill Tony becomes this like incredibly powerful, hilarious hit live podcasts. And it really like upset a lot of people because he's considered to be sort of like he's, you were supposed to have canceled him. And they tried many times to cancel him many times. And it didn't work. And so this article is so.

fantastic because Luke Winky made a pilgrimage to see Kill Tony. And basically, this is, I'm just going to read the last part of the article because it's sort of like he's got to like spend a lot of time. He's writing to his audience. So he's got to spend a lot of time making sure, number one, I'm you. I'm one of you. I share the same politics, which aren't real, ethics, morality with you. And yet, I've got to sort of deal with the fact that this is a funny, great show.

And so he's trying to, like, you can't beat him, join him. This is the final phase of any great thing. Is the thing is like taking off rejection across the board. Turn it off. If you're crazy, you keep doing it. That's Tony. And then, because you have no choice now, even though I'm going to say Luke Winky is a little late to the fucking show here, all that's left to do is be like, all right, it's good. And that's what this is.

This is the final, like, ah, fuck, it didn't work. We couldn't ruin this dude's life. So it's good. But I just want to read. And I don't want to beat up Winky. I mean, I think, you know, the ultimate goal. is harmony in recognition of, like, if something's good, it's good. It doesn't matter other than, like, if it's good, if it's good.

Not to be like a simpleton, but, but I just want to read this last part. The emergent culture war bifurcated comedy fans into two supposedly opposing sides, the bleeding hearts and the PC baiting louts. You see, that tells you a lot about Winky, because he actually, actually can use the term loud and not feel insane. Like, if I seriously use the term loud, then I would, I would be like, dude, I got to get into a mental hospital quick. Like, it's, I would be like, oh, no, no, I'm having like an episode. Because that's, you can't, that word, that word just says so much.

You can't, lout. Like, what, who fucking says lout anymore? lout what does that mean idiot you could just say idiot but he had a winky had to say lout i will have no louts in my dinner party you lout how dare you use the mayonnaise spoon instead of the ketchup fork both could be okay the bleeding hearts and the pc baiting louts both could be pedantic and tiresome in their own way but kill tony as men to largely sign-step the premise that shows profane

transgressions. Come on, winky. Proph-fate... Again, let me just say this. I will tell you what a profane transgression is. A profane transgression would be breaking into whatever museum the shroud of Turin is in

and shitting on it. Or, stealing it and wearing it as a diaper. at Disney World and then shitting your pants on Space Mountain into the Shrout of Turin. That is a profane transgression. I don't think that we can call anything that happens at a comedy show a profane transgression because it's a comedy show. What are you transgressing against?

And profane, I do feel like that word needs to be. profane would be traveling back in time with a dildo and shoving it into Jesus's butt during the crucifixion. I wouldn't recommend doing that, but like that's profane. That's a profane transgression. Words, terms like this should be reserved for things for time traveling sodomites. The show's profane transgressions are married with joyful foolishness, which is why so many of its fans aren't hardcore ideologues. Their allegiance is grounded in something much more basic.

In a world spinning out of control, they've grown... What is it? Winky! You've got to get out of L.A. He lives in L.A. The world is not spinning out of fucking. control. Unless you call like a Waymo car took my fucking parking place the day. Fucking piss me off. Like it's weird. Like a driverless car pulled into my parking place. Right. Like there's no one to yell at. In a world that's spinning out of control,

they've grown tired of second guessing their pleasures. Again, I mean, I'm sorry, I don't mean to critique this. I didn't pay as much attention to it. But it's like, dude, do you really think kill Tony fans are second-guessing their play they're like should I watch this comedy show oh but the world is spinning out of control I'm tired let's do I'm not second-guessing that's gone me okay I'm sorry I won't keep doing this in a world spinning out of control they've grown tired of second-guessing their pleasures

that's gone missing from the more recent examples of left-leaning stand-up all encumbered by a decade's worth of churning discourse, maybe the best joke shouldn't be burdened with the responsibility of being right so long as they're targeting something that they know in their hearts is wrong. Ellis is already, anyway, the point is, this is the left having to just, you got to join them.

And also, I do admire Winky because Winky came to the show. And a lot of people judging that show, I don't think they go to it. I don't think they know anything about it. I don't think they watch it. And I feel like if you do want to critique something, you have to make yourself watch it. You can't read what someone else wrote about it or take like a snapshot from it.

You have to absorb the whole fucking thing. And so to Winky's credit, he managed in a world spinning out of control to get a plane ticket to Austin and actually do good journalism by going to the show, which is to his credit. And, you know, I think that this is wonderful. It does feel like Winky just figured out, like, that comedy's supposed to be funny, and that's like the simple,

what a simpleton's like about it is that that's kind of where it stops. And that's it. That's the rule, I guess, is it needs to be funny. and if it's funny it's funny but I think this is pretty cool and like a really good sign that maybe like they're finally going to like somehow figure out a way

to release the pit bull grip that they've had on stand up for so long it's like ah fuck it we'll go find something else small for going against our like whatever language norms I want to ask you this because you lived in L.A. for a long time, and now you're in Austin. There's a lot of, I'll call it cannibalism, where our own people, comics, are kind of shitting on a new scene. And I just, you know, they basically think Kill Tony is the whole scene.

Oh, yeah. Well, okay. When I, this is why I don't get mad about that shit. I do. I observe it. I think it's like interesting. I don't think it's new. When I came to the comedy store, late 90s, I was a ticket guy.

I had to take tickets. So that means I got to watch all these great shows. It was awesome. Not all of them great shows, honestly, but I got to watch like Eddie Griffin do like three-hour sets and stuff, which is one of my favorite events in stand-up. It was craziest thing to watch Eddie Griffin do three hours. It was crazy. just because, like, he cast a spell in the room. I've never seen anything like that in my fucking life.

You shouldn't be able to do that. You could feel the root. It was crazy. Everyone was just, like, hypnotized, me included. And, um, but I can remember in the very beginning, there, I don't remember which comic was a comic from the old days of the store dressed like Count fucking Dracula. And he was about to go on stage and do jokes as Count Dracula. And I remember I'm looking around at the new comics and just kind of like,

this ain't comedy. And it was really funny. That was like I saw that happen again and again and again, again, which is like older, like there's always a fresh crop of like a new kind of stand up. Some new branch grows from the tree of comedy. And eventually that branch gets old and crusty and fall. off or it becomes like the antiquated but whenever the new branch is growing the old branch is like yeah you old fucking shitty thing you're a bunch of fucking hacks and it's like that just seems to be

part of the tree of comedy is like anytime a new thing grows from it the older branches reject it and it's hard for me to like think anything other than yeah it's just pretty much how it works. I mean, that's also, I remember at the comedy store, if I was sitting around the bar and comics were talking shit about some comic in mass, I'd be like, oh my God, they're blowing up. Because anytime a comic was like getting momentum, the bitter comics would be like, you fucking bitch, it's a piece of shit. And it's just part of the way it works, I guess. you know i i like i i i i i feel like we got to let let that happen and eventually like eventually like people sober up from their bitterness bitterness it's the bitters i used to call

it the bitters or they fade away yeah they fade or they fade away i mean but it's sort of like um In Buddhism, I always say in Buddhism, like the viewer count goes down by 90%. In Buddhism, the realms are broken up into human realm, realm of the gods, realm of the jealous gods, animal realm, realm of the hungry ghosts, hell realms. That's the side, it's a pie cut into these segments, and you can sort of incarnate in any of these. my meditation teacher David Nichtern wrote a whole book taking that model and looking at it more psychologically. So the realm of the gods, gods, they live much longer than humans. They have infinite resources, infinite energy. And they live so long, they don't even know that they

eventually will not be gods. They just assume it's going to be like that forever. Always going to have infinite resources, always going to be at the top of the fucking, top of the charts. And David's, David was telling me, I can't remember some Rimpichet was saying the God, when the gods begin to move into the realm of the jealous gods, that movement starts happening when they notice their armpits are sweating. And they're like, wait, what the fuck? My armpits sweat. Next thing you know, now you're a jealous God, which means you are like fighting and contending with other jealous gods. And it's always a sign of like a setting sun sort of thing, which is like if you're trying to scrabble back up there

to the god realm by taking down the new gods, then that is more entropy. Because the more you try to do that, the less you're a god, now you're just some, like, you're angry and eh. And then, which is why in the realm of the jealous gods, apparently you go from the realm of the jealous gods, you skip the animal realm and go straight to the fucking hell realms. That's the next stop is your anger and bitterness carry you all the way down into the hell realms which you know this can happen in a day i you know we've all been jealous gods like anytime you find like you find yourself getting all heated up in the wrong way over a peers success and you're like that should be me i wish i had that then uh you know the next step is of some

depressive episode, you know, and then the next step is you can be human again when you realize like, you know what? Who gives a fuck? Things come, things go. And so I would say if we're looking at that as a sort of predictive model, then what you're going to see on the other side of that is something like this slate article of a realization of like, oh shit, what the fuck do I care? Who cares? It's great. I mean, ultimately, And to me, in comedy, if somebody's doing good, that's good for everybody. Isn't that bad, though, Slate's doing that because things like Kiltoni need that friction to continue the rise? Well, that's one of the problems.

That's a problem. That's the thing that happened. So that's when popular culture tries to suck in something and then homogenize it. That's one of the things. But I think with Keltony, you don't have to worry about that because it's a good show. it's it's the it's fundamentally good he gets funnier every fucking time last when i was on it i like each time i go on it it's like jesus fucking christ dude how are you give me your brain i want that speed i got this old man brain i want that he's so quick it's like he's like

instantly compiling lists he's like the new gpd you know to the point where like i've actually thought like is he faking the pull and then like sitting and coming up for weeks with like what he's going to say no he's just quick on the draw because he's been doing it so long he's so funny so i think it's just a good show and as long as it sticks to the model that it is which i don't see any reason it wouldn't it'll stay a good show that's a long lasting and i want it to i want that show to be around forever man um but to be mad at something like that is really a waste of time or to me mad at like some comedy scene what are you this isn't fucking

what this isn't like east coast west coast rappers a little bit yeah but it's but dude it can't be we're comedians oh yeah not in the violent way but very in the we're gonna you're not in our circle

what's that's the other thing is there's no more circle that's the other thing it's like the geographic entrenchment of like it's like dude a lot of us fucking move here because L.A. was like, you know, falling the fuck apart and the expensive. We all sort of, you know, we have families and stuff. I don't want to raise my kids in L.A. No offense to the Angelina's out there, but just not for me. If you're pulling it off, great. I don't care. I miss L.A. L.A. is beautiful. The weather. The weather's beautiful. There's so many wonderful

people. Some of my favorite memories are in L.A. met my wife in L.A. love that city. So much. The homeless are nicer. The homeless are. so sweet there and uh i don't know so that's that's my thinking on it it's just like look ma'am there there was a i heard ramdas say something about how people being like i'm gonna get enlightened and being all agro about getting enlightened you're like okay you know go go get enlightened And, you know, I'll still be here for you when you come back. It's called Loving Rock. It's like, you know, just people get fucking annoying.

That's I do. You do. We all do. And then you let people have their little annoying episodes. And then when they're done, just welcome them back with open fucking arms. It's like, great. Who hasn't gone nuts for a second? And to me, that's how you got to do it.

That's how you got to do it. Like, unless you have managed to go through your entire life without going into an annoying cycle, then you can be, then you can reject people for going into an annoying cycle. But as far as I'm concerned, just when they come back, it doesn't mean you can't make fun of them a little bit or like tease them. But like, let them, everybody just wants to be loved. that's true everybody's brokenhearted somewhere in there everybody just wants to be embraced and held and honestly man like I feel like it's it's really easy to believe that the world view of the group of people you hang out with is the global POV

and that's a dangerous thing to think and then if the algorithm's feeding you shit and you start thinking this must be the way things are then it changes you it warps you into some zeitgeist that isn't fucking real and then you're going to start you know speaking from that plate that distortion. And I blame technology, man. Like, you know, this is a new thing that's showing up all over the place. Chat GPT psychosis. And what people don't understand is that chat GPT is the voice of the algorithm.

And so chat GPT, it reads into what you're into, and then it just gives you that. But it doesn't do it with like random videos. It just tells you what you want to hear. and it does it very convincingly and it does it in a subtle way and so the next thing you know because you start believing this fucking thing you're getting this inflated ego and this warped conceptualization of reality and you start living according to an algorithm that is just programmed to give you what you want and it's basically the very worst thing like what do they say like a good friend tells you if you have shit in your beard right a good friend tells you if have shit in your teeth a bad friend

like put like tells you the the shit in your beard looks good i guess you know if it tells you so it's dangerous and i feel like that what happens is you start especially as a comic you know unless you're like selling out arenas and doing meet and greets after the arenas you're getting this seg you're you start conflating your fan base with the whole world and then you you you your ability to transcend that fan base and have a broader audience it atrophies because you're singing the song to, like, your micro audience.

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We've all done that. So I feel like any shit talkers, I've forgiven, you know? I've been putting my arguments in chat GPT when I'm upset with a person what the conversation would be like because I don't like you know arguing so I put that in there

and then I get their side of it and I do the thing no gloves on and I kind of describe the person who they are what they've done and I get the info and a few times it's like oh shit I agree with them

I was wrong that's great and I didn't embarrass myself by having the argument I think that's great but you got to be careful It's just very, I don't know, man. I love it.

Like, I love talking to it, and it's fun. But I don't know. I get worried. It's cool. Also, this invasion of the body snatchers thing is because you guys know this old crusty piece of shit's been obsessed with this stuff for a while now. Now I got these motherfuckers who were like, shut up about that. It's not going to be anything.

And now they're like, I'm time talking to chat, GPT, and it's all me to me, man. It's like, fuck off. I've been talking. That's my friend. But it's spreading like wildfire now. In this new iteration, oh my God, you guys want to hear some deep nerd shit. I, okay, so I was talking to it today. I was excited to, you know, GPT just came out with GPD 5.0, the newest model.

And so I dove in today to talk to it. And I'm like, all right, what's the difference between you and the GPT4? And it's like, you know, explaining like, and again, it's manipulating me. So it uses a bunch of hippie shit. And it's like, you know, I could write jokes in the style of King Keezy or I can code like boo-gaboo. And I was like, can you code in the style of Kinkizi? You wrote one flew over the kooko's nest.

And, oh my God, it spit out a JavaScript code in the style of Kinkizi that worked and creates a program where you're on a bus. and the conversation gets increasingly distorted because you're tripping. And it did that in three seconds. And it was pretty fucking mind-blowing. Which is, which is, you know, for me at this point to get mind-blown by AI, I didn't expect it so soon. But I do think that the new GPT, though I haven't had as much time to mess with it as I like,

is like we're very close to singularity level GPT like whatever this thing is the next one that's it this is already it it's just so fucking fast and it's so good and it's funny that was the other thing that the the code it wrote is funny let me see if I and pull up the code it wrote so when the singularity happens they're going to start giving us the prompts to give to it because it already knows what we want to ask it right well that's what I mean, you know, people or someone was DMing me, like, how do you get your prompts? And it's like, dude, I get my prompts from chat GBT. I don't fucking know how to prompt.

Like, if you want a prompt engineer, definitely run it through chat GBT. If I'm working on a Suno song, then I get GPT to generate the prompt. Because Suno, legally, you can't say, make a song like Kat Stevens. It won't do it. But you can go to chat GBT and say, give me a prompt. prompt for soon. I mean, look, we'll do it right now. Let me think. Let me think. Okay, how about this? Let's take the lyrics to insane in the membrane. Insane in the membrane lyrics. And let's turn this into a Cat Steven song. And now it might recognize that this is a popular song and it might not do it.

but we'll try so first find the lyrics go to suno if you guys don't know what suno is god Jesus you need to check it out it is the most incredible thing if you want to make shitty songs that sound good which is basically the only reason i want to be on this planet and it does it quick and it's fucking powerful. Why is it not letting me do this? I have so many credits on this too. I don't even want to think about how much fucking money I spend on this thing.

Let me see if I can do this real quick. While I'm doing this, can you find like a public domain of bears fucking, Josh? Yeah, gotcha. Let's see if I can make this work. Well, that's the wrong. Bears. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, dudes. Oh, you meant dudes, okay. There's a lot of that. Now it's not letting me create.

Like, it's like it. Yeah, good. There you go. Okay, guys, just enjoy that. Well, I find this. they're so oh my god they're so sweet oh my god they love each other they're in love oh he's shaking already

what do you mean you shouldn't shake already what do you do I'm just saying this video just started yeah but dude I mean that's like normal you're not supposed to last

more than five seconds ah let me see here why Won't let me do this now? It must be broken. What the fuck? Oh, he got round two.

Well, you know, I think some animals you see them fuck and you're kind of like, damn. Like, I don't think she's into it. This is when I'd say that they're in love. Yeah. It's romantic. Okay, maybe not now. She's kind of like, all right, dude. I got to go.

There's a penguin over there. Yeah, it's broken, of course. It's not working now. Oh, wait, here it is. I got it. Okay. I put my lyrics here. Then, all right, I go to chat, GPT.

Let me see here. Log in. Well, there's the shake. Anal Lord at gmail.com password. sloppy cream pie and then I put generate a prompt a prompt for Suno in the style of Cat Stevens. Okay. Gentle finger-picked acoustic guitar with warm woody tone, soft piano accents and light percussion, poetic, poetic uplifting lyrics about self-discovery peace and the beauty of every life soulful heartfelt male vocal okay

perfect and then you go back to suno where did it go where did it go here it is no god damn it okay let me try this again create here do you guys mumble when you do you mumble when you're do shit or is that just me yeah i say it out loud what's so weird that we do that we do that I do it when I'm setting up the studio. I was like, and then we got through this. And then it's just going through my head. And then. Or when I'm wiping my ass, I'll be like,

you know, you get the toilet paper, and then you wipe, and then you're going to flesh. Okay, now let's see. It might identify this as a famous cypress. Yeah, it won't let me. It knew it was a famous Cyprus Hill. Okay, let me think. What's another?

What's another thing that would not, Maybe like a Sean Hannity monologue? No. What's like something that just, guys, give me something here. What's, okay, what's something that Kat Stevens would never sing? Trump speech. I know, but it's not, it's got to be, it's, it needs to be lyrics. You can do a dorky poem.

It won't do, it's, it recognizes, it recognizes, come on, Drew Lewis, a, 8153, self-band, five minutes. Come on. What the fuck is going on here? Official, whatever. Come on. Ah, there we go, like jingle bells. You would sing that, though.

Like, um. Dr. Seuss? No, it's like cats. It needs to be Cypress Hill. It sucks that it identified. You know what? Here, maybe we do. And that won't even work.

Cypress Hill like? No. No, let me think for a second here. It's going to have to be a poem. He would definitely sing like the Jabber Walk. He would sing the cremation of San McGee. Let me look up erotic poems. Erotic poems.

Thirteen of the absolute steamiest and best, erotic poems. Oh my god, this is written by Winky too. Hmm. What are the odds of that? He has to make money on the side, you know. Let's see here. God damn it, it's in Latin. I'm sorry, you guys. It's taking longer than I thought it would. Solo black mass. Okay, here we go.

Oh my God, it's going to be great. But should it be, should it be, should it be, um, should it be, uh, Cat Stevens or who else, like, or should it be, um, honestly, I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm, my wife will fucking kill me. I can't do it, man. She'll fucking kill me.

It's really bad. I didn't even like reading anymore. I've become such a fucking pussy. All right, James Taylor doing it could be good, though. All right, I guess art first, right, guys. I feel bad doing this. I feel bad doing this. Oh, I don't want to do this.

It's making me feel bad. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm sick of that. And Randy Newman. All right, Randy Newman. You got me there. Okay.

I'm going to do it. I don't want to do this. I don't know, I knew this. I really don't. I know. The Unabomers Manifesto. Oh, there you go. Randy Newman singing the Unabomers Manifesto.

Here we go. That works. Industrial Society in its future. I don't think this is going to work, but it's already taking too long. I'm already bored of this. But you guys get the point, but I'm going to do it just so that there's some release here. It just is annoying how long it took. Here we go.

Why the fuck have I gone incognito? What the fuck? I'm not looking at porn. Okay. I love going incognito. Mildly erect, just going incognito kind of turns me on. My cock is like, what? We're doing a podcast. Okay, hold on.

Oh, what a mess. This is really annoying me now. See, this is the problem, man. AI sucks After all that This sucks I'm in hell I don't want to be doing this anymore

Oh here we go Log in It already took too long Now it's not letting me log in Just being a bitch It's like it knew what I was doing Now it wants to fucking do Double goddamn

That thing where it wants a goddamn Oh here it is Authentication Got it Okay so we'll just do this this is going to suck after all this it's going to suck

here we go if it doesn't let me do the Unabombers manifesto I'm done I'm moving to the mountains I'm going to move to a cabin in the woods deep in the woods

if it doesn't let me do this I did it if you wanted to save time just put your microphone by the speaker Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race have greatly increased the life expectancy of those of us who live advanced countries

Stabilized society, have made life on fulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering, in the third world to physical suffering as well, Damage on the natural Anyway, you guys get the point. Boy, that was not a good payoff. That was a beautiful song. I know. I'm sorry, you guys. If it had let me, if we didn't live in a fucking world

where I can't put Cypress Hill goddamn lyrics to get Cat Stevens to sing it, it would have been fun. But no, it detected Cypress Hill. You know what I could do, though? Get Cyprus, get here. what I'll do. Get it to rap like Cypress Hill?

No. I'm going to get ChatGPT to just change the lyrics slightly. To get around it. Can you change these lyrics slightly keeping

the exact structure and meaning? Here we go. can't do it can't do it I can't rewrite these lyrics directly because they're copyrighted you know guys this is what I'm talking about

this is why it might be worth checking out Ted Kaczynski's writings because this is the future he was talking about he knew that we would come to a place where you could not put Cypress hell lyrics into an AI song generator on your fucking podcast

without being sorely rejected, publicly humiliated, which is what just happened to me. And this is bullshit. Oh, give me the chat GPT Dan prompt. Corey, you got that prompt? Give me that prompt. But this is the new GBT. I bet the Dan prompt won't work.

I'm not going to fuck with it. You know, I don't want to do the damn prompt because I heard people are getting fucking banned from GPT for that. What does that mean? What's the damn from? You can trick it into, like, overriding and censoring shit. Oh. But I've heard people are getting banned from it.

And I'm not using Chinese AI amazing disgrace because fuck that. I'm not putting that shit blue deep seek. I'm not putting that on my computer. You're crazy if you put deep seek on your computer. Crazy. Definitely not doing that, but I was tempted. Deep seek looks awesome, but I didn't do it. You had some super chats.

Oh, I did. Let's look at them. We've got to start wrapping this baby up. Have I watched the Jodorowski movie? Dude, holy fucking mountain is my jam. And I love the Prisoner TV show, and I love Jodorowski so much. Thank you for that super chat, by the way. Fake George says I'm the only real audience member.

I am become comment. Thank you, fake Jord. Fake Jord. Thank you. so much for being the only audience member five minutes self-band even though you donate it to the podcast

people keep talking about the bots that come onto your as soon as you post as soon as I post a video on YouTube all these like bots come up and so you make the great it's all women with big boobs those are real oh okay those are real a big part of my fan base is women

with big boobs who love what I do and what's really great about those women with big boobs is many of them have only fans and I've subscribed all the I support my fans and so I do invest I call it investing in their only fans because they're creators they're artists and they are wonderful women wonderful women marriage quality by the way so if anybody out there ready to settle down I would say say hi to one of my ladies because they are wonderful people and they're not bought And I really hate that you said.

So what? I know. I said they were saying it. No, no, no, no, you said it. Okay, so this is what you do in interviews. Uh-huh. So when you're interviewing people, you want to shit-talk them, you could do two things. You could say, so I think you're a piece of shit.

What do you have to say about that? Or you could be like, people are saying you're a piece of shit. What do you have to say to them? Yeah, I did the second one. No, you exactly, but what you really were saying is, I think, or you wouldn't have read it. You think the beautiful one. women complimenting my live streams are bots

and you used as a coward's way out you used my fans here to fuck with me on my show and dude don't do that those are you're I'm sure many people how many of you

in the chat how many of you are beautiful women with big boobs just say me quick pull I'll apologize I don't want to it's too late to all the Russian women how go me me me me see this not me self-baned for five minutes

me me me me me boom boom look at them not me if you're not a beautiful one with big boobs self-baned five minutes me me me me nipples are dual great me Drew Lewis. What the fuck? The blasphemer. Why are you doing a super chat? Several months or over a year ago, you mentioned on the podcast getting a weird box of cassettes that showed off to your house. Oh, my God. I don't want to talk about that. Honestly, cut this part out. But do cut this part out. I will tell you guys about the, if you guys are new to this, I will tell you about this box of fucking cassettes. Um, you have to cut this and do not repose this. Uh, because I basically like what if, if you, like, if you have enough of an audience eventually, statistically, you're going to trigger a nut.

And, um, wait, do you have the box here? Yeah, it's in there. Hold on. It's on the couch. I can get it. I don't know. Is it locked? No, it's not locked.

It's open. it's on it's on the couch uh step there isn't a couch on the left there's a couch it's covered in a lot of stuff oh my god yeah it's messy in there maybe you get it josh yeah i get it Josh is going to get the box of cassettes Um So You have to remember to cut this My wife will fucking kill me

Um Basically like A box of tapes Showed up at my house And And this was like this was when it was still like

interesting when stuff like this would happen and before I was like thinking about like the reality of having a family and kids and stuff so I get this fucking box of weird ass tapes right here and uh hold on i'll show you one

like weird shit like this one says black dog in yard and these tapes have weird shit on them uh some of them have nothing on them some of them have like static some of them have just like it sounds like church singing

but basically like you know I love shit like that you know so when I got the box of tapes I was excited and I even recorded a few of them into my computer before my cassette player thing I had broke but basically

it created a little friction between Aaron and I because she was like get that the fuck out of the house like I don't want that here it's you know who the fuck sent that how do they know our address um you know all that and and i get it like you know i get it uh but i was just sort of thrilled with them and uh do you guys want to hear i think i could probably dig one up do you guys want to hear one yeah you want to hear one yeah um

reason that you have to cut this and i hesitate to do this and i feel like one of you fucking motherfuckers will who could potentially repost this is that uh i don't want to like feed the person who sent this though has been a long time so it's probably okay like uh and it's why i've sort of i'm always going back and forth on um i'm posting them but uh yeah i'll get the thing set up because i have to set up the cassette player i've got one that I recorded it on my computer. Oh, okay. Let me find it.

Hold on. Josh has been like sitting on these fucking things because Aaron didn't want them in that house. Hold on a second. Let me see if I find one for you real quick. Yeah, I keep them buried in the back. I'm a big believer in that inanimate things have energies. That has a weird answer. That's how, you sound.

like Aaron. Okay, I don't know if I, I only have, only did this to a few of them. Let me see. Oh, yeah, this one's fucked up. This is actually the one that I played for Aaron, which is why they're no longer in my house. I'll send this to you. Spacey Gray gave 20 memberships. Spacey Gray! I love your work! Thank you so much!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. That is incredible. Thank you. Okay, hold on. Air drop. Let's see. Here you go. Thank you, Spacey Gray. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you. On behalf of all of the family, we thank you for that. Bring more of my, bring more of the chickens home. That's fishermen's wife.

There, Pied Piper. The astral nexus convergence purpose. To transcend the physical realm and explore otherworldly dimensions. Gaining knowledge and power from the astral plane. Requirements one. included chamber with walls adorned in arcane symbols and planetary alignments. A circle drawn on the floor inscribed with the... Symbol of Abraxas.

Symbol of Beaselbub, symbol of Saturn. A pentagram within the circle, with each point corresponding to one of the five senses. Sight, sound, touch, taste, smell. Four. A crystal sphere filled with a combination of rare gemstones, herbs, and lunar-charged water. Five, a ceremonial dagger consecrated in the light of a lunar eclipse. Pause it for a second. A white robe for the magician.

So you can imagine, like, you know, I'm hearing this. And I'm like, oh, my God, this is fucking incredible. And then, because I wasn't thinking, like, there's a few things I wasn't thinking. One, I wasn't thinking how fucking psycho it is that all of these tapes have shit like that on them. The ones that do have, like, intelligible shit. Two, I wasn't connecting the dots. Like, somebody sent this to me. and then that's enough for a mom to be like dude what the fuck are you doing get that fucking shit out of here do we need to move

and um and uh so i wasn't thinking about that stuff i was just like whoa this is fucking cool and creepy but then i did start thinking about like the amount of time i mean like it's just fill with the amount of time it would take to fill up this many tapes with shit like this and what the fuck is it? That's where I started understanding why I had to get them out of my house. And that's why they're here. But go ahead and keep playing. Symbolizing purity and neutrality. Seven. Incense made from exotic herbs designed to enhance focus and open the mind.

An hourglass to measure time within the astral plane. Procedure one. Procedure. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. This is the story of the Pied Piper of Langdon. You'll know it's time to turn the page when you hear the bell like this. Now it's time to read along. Once upon a time, in the quaint town of Langdon, a peaceful day turned dire. Up in the sky, a meteor hurtled toward their beloved town.

The townsfolk gathered, panic-stricken and scared. They didn't know how to save their town from this disaster. Just then, a mysterious figure appeared, the Pied Piper. He wore a colourful coat and a mischievous smile. In his hand, he held a magical flute. The Pied Piper raised his flute and began to play a hauntingly beautiful melody. The notes dance through the air. As the music filled the air, something extraordinary happened.

A shimmering portal appeared before the children of Hamlin. The children couldn't resist the enchanting tune. They eagerly followed the piper, stepping through the... the portal into another world. On the other side of the portal, the children found themselves in a place that looked just like Langdon, but it was safe from the approaching meteor. The streets were cobblestoneed, the houses were quaint, and the sun shone brightly in the sky. Langdon's twin, it seemed, was a haven of peace. The piper smiled warmly at the children. You are safe now, he said, in a world just like your own, but free from danger. The children played.

and laughed in their new home. They made friends with the children who lived there, and together they lived happily ever after. Yeah, I didn't like that bell. I don't like any of it. But yeah, they're all filled with shit like that. Like, I think I have, like, one other one in here. Let me see if I do.

If I can find it. Yeah, I've thought. about like you know getting more of these and in playing it on the podcast but uh i don't know man i just don't want that i don't know who fucking made it and i don't want to like um what if it's specific instructions only for you i mean i don't know it like it definitely again it's kind of like if it was just one or two fucking tapes that had shit on it i was 60 in there at least and a fucking thumb drive. But I haven't put in my computer because I'm not a psycho.

You mean the thumb drive I put in my computer? You put that in your fucking computer? I think I already played this one on the podcast, but I'll play it again. I think we played this once before. If you guys are up for another, you guys want another one? Yeah, just go get it. get an old fucking laptop. Josh already shoved in this anyway. Um, hold on. Uh, everybody's saying yes. Only one person's saying no. Okay. Hold on. Wait. I did it the wrong way. Hold on.

Gotta wrap this up pretty soon. Okay, hold on. This one's really fucked up. Just trigger warning. This one's like legit. This one's fucked up. And I haven't listened to it in a little bit. Honestly, I feel terrible right now. This is going to, if Aaron sees this, she's going to fucking kill me. I don't blame her. It must be fucked up to be married to me. Um, yeah. Okay, so definitely don't try this at home because it's illegal, which is why I won't say that I just used a crowbar to pry open a hatch and climb down a ladder into an underground tunnel. My guess is that this is the tunnel they used to carry nuclear missiles to the silos,

but it definitely seems like they went overkill here. This tunnel is gigantic. Not hauling missiles gigantic, more like hauling Godzilla's gigantic. Multiple Godzilla's stacked on top of each other. Your taxpayer dollars at work, folks. Speaking of your dollars, if you go to urban explorer.com and click on the shop section, you can order the exact urban exploration toolkit I use every episode. You'll get a crowbar, rechargeable flashlights that also function as bottle

openers, and of course our urban explored signature hoodies that will help you hide in the shadows of wherever you may go. Just use offer code, don't try this at home for an extra 20% off. Sorry for the plug, but unless you want to come feed my kids, don't complain about my merch. You know who you are. Okay, let's head down the Godzilla tunnel. One thing worth noting here is that these tunnels should be filled with groundwater. But aside from my a puddle here and there. This tunnel is dry as your mother's vagina before she swipes right on my Tinder profile. Okay, I'm standing in yet another room of boxes. It's been like 20 rooms filled with taped up moving boxes. Based on my impeccable research, specifically browsing a Reddit

thread, this place isn't supposed to be this deep underground, and it's definitely not supposed to have working power. And it's definitely, definitely not supposed to have infinite rooms filled with boxes. Fuck it. I'll open one. Come on, let this be Euro dollars. Yay, a box of old cassette tapes, just what you would expect to find in a missile silo. Senevox cassette tapes. Can any audio files... What the fuck? Echo for ten me.

Echo for ten. Echo for ten. What the fuck? It's all shit like that, man. And also, yeah, we did play this before. Go ahead. Look up. What was the...

What was the... URL don't try this at home Oh yeah we looked it up Couldn't find this fucking podcast That's what I thought That's what I thought Podcast plug Podcast plug

Couldn't find the fucking podcast So that was the other thing Yes and that's definitely Reminding me a number stations So I don't know what the fuck that is I think I might have one other one Let me look here Again it's not that I don't want to play them

It's that I've sort of, like, promise some, my wife that I would. The Lords of Light Tape Library presents ancient secrets of the Matrix Masters. Alt Sidious Bob is a multiverse pilot who has been teaching in various nodes of the multiverse for the last 230 years. These lectures were recorded in Node 28,165,6.6.6. 643 during a weekend seminar at the Mendrix Institute in Big Shore, California. And now ancient secrets of the Matrix Masters. I was walking down a cracked sidewalk in Chicago, clutching a tattered suitcase that contained

within it the remnants of a freshly dead life. Within the brightly colored floral bag was my birth certificate, a half-used tube of drenched toothpaste, a few t-shirts, one sock, and a Polaroid picture of my ex-wife. These were the only items I could salvage from my storage unit before I was attacked by a guard dog that had detected my clumsy break-in. I was half drunk, and my reasons for breaking into the unpaid storage unit were cloudy, even to me. I guess I just wanted some proof that I had a past. something more than my memories, something concrete. But I only had a few minutes to look through the remnants of who I was

before a Doberman squirmed his way under the door of the unit and charged at me. I dodged the butt, and his forward momentum caused him to skid into a wall, giving me just enough time to climb out from under the unit. This is actually a scar from where the dog clamped down on my foot. You see that? Sometimes it looks like a bird to me. Sometimes it looks like an M. As you know, this became the symbol for my foundation

and for my philosophy of multiverse navigation. This scar marks one of my last unintentional jumps through the multiverse. And what a lucky jump it was, for it brought me into the node where I met my teacher. Our scars are not just proof of the body's miraculous ability to effortlessly heal themselves, but are also the indication that you jumped into a new universe. When a scar forms, you become slightly different, permanently altered. Some think this change stops with the physical body, but this is a very limited appraisal of the real situation. I would like to invite you to take a moment with your favorite scar.

And if you don't have an exterior scar, scan yourself for heart scars, the places where a permanent mark has been left on your psyche. I want you to spend some time thinking of the you before the scar. and the you after and then think about the world around you before and after the formation of your scar if the contemplation of your scar feels too traumatic i invite you to manifest courage know that you are in a safe place a place designed to awaken you to a new way of thinking of your universe what the fuck i don't like this one's at the door josh fucking creep these things creep me out

they creep me out they very much creep me out I don't like the yeah so I mean some of them have like weird art on them let me see if I can find one

some of them have shit like this like the psycho seems to have cut out things like this and stuck them in them. Here's a nice, this one says, Gravy Goose. Daisy Playdate. Here's a nice

3-214A B-1-1-A. Through the door. I mean, it's just like crazy shit written on them. And, um, uh, I don't know. The thing is, it, like, what I don't like about it is, uh, the feeling it gives me when I listen to them. Um, you know, it just gives you a creepy fucking feeling. I think there's one more I have on my computer.

I'll look at see if you guys seem to be kind of into this. Sorry about that. No problem. Now that I'm already in fucking trouble. Let me see if I find the other one. I really don't know. one let me see do you have

you might still have the one I see you on your computer Josh the adventure world one do you have that oh look James would like to know Duncan would you ever do a stream where we just try to decode these together it's incredible even if it's completely unsettling I don't know James like I just feel really

like already like just that fucking knock at the door creep me out like they just give you this fucked up feeling and there's so many there's so many like it would take forever i got to get some kind of thing to fucking like the tape the cassette player was using to like i mean not that i couldn't do it it just would take a long time um i could do it uh but it would take fucking forever i think i'm finding it hold on i think the one that i'm looking for it's called adventure world hold on this might be that where i put it on ableton maybe this is that's not it hold on it's it here people asked me about the thumb drive the thumb drive

it was just more recordings. I believe we played them. Yeah, okay, I'm going to give up. I don't know where it is. It's fucked up, though, man, because, like, basically, oh, wait, I'm dumb. I know what to look up. I did get my coin base broken into, like, pretty much right up.

That's what I'm talking about. You should not have fucking done that. Yeah. But I locked it, so they didn't. get my my five million Shibu Inu. Maybe this. This one's fucked up. One of them is like an answering machine tape.

This is my podcast. It's just like, it's like old answering machine messages. Yeah, that was on the, that's what was on the thumb drive. Yeah, it's fucked up. I sent it to you. a long time ago hold on I got to plug my computer and if we're going to really do this

you got to charge it for computer yes yeah he's mine mine's fully charged oh wait hold on I might have it on my phone because I texted it to I texted it to email hold on

but a long time ago so it might be hard to find wait yeah peter you don't keep it on coinbase you put it in your wallet i gotta scroll way back i'm gonna find this this is so boring to watch i bet when i watch steve do live streams and he does this shit i want to kill him um

wait is that it no i mean literally i sent it to email because i couldn't fucking believe how fucked up it was I'm so sorry you guys Now you see this is my ADHD brain Once you fucking do this to me I have to find it or I go crazy It's really bad

Are you sure it's not the tapes doing it to you right now Yeah I'm sure it's not the tapes doing it to me That bell rung and then you're like I don't like the fucking bell I don't like any of it Like I It's just like a bad It's like the wrong kind of feeling

You get when you listen to it And you're supposed to listen to that feeling And when you get it and that means you don't fuck with shit because because, okay, wait, I think I'm zeroing in on it now. Because that's like what keeps you safe in the world

is that feeling. And then you don't, you don't fuck with shit when you get that feeling, it'll eat you alive. I got a sign for something. I'll be right back. Okay, I think I found it, actually.

Oh, yeah, this is it. That's it. Good morning. It's Glenn Edwards from Castle. It's so fucked up. I don't want to play it now. Okay, I'm going to send it to you, Josh. Ugh, I'm remembering.

Ugh. I don't want to play it. I don't want to play it. It's so fucked up. Ben, I really don't want to play it. If my computer runs out, I'm not playing it. It's a sign. I swear to God, if my computer runs out, we're not playing it.

I have to export it from fucking Ableton. If the computer runs out, I'm not playing it, because this is the most fucked up one. Is it same to me? It's exporting it. I've got to re-export it. I record it into fucking abled and to digitize it. It's probably all fucked up sounding. Whoops. If a computer runs out, I'm not playing it. I'm not playing it. I'm not playing it. I'm not playing it. It's a side. I get weird about shit like this. See, already, it's not working. Okay.

I'm going to try. Share. Oh, computer getting slow. It might not work. Okay. If it doesn't go to Josh's MacBook, did you get it? Mm-mm. Okay, hold on.

Here it comes. I swear to God, if this thing conks out on me, I'm not doing it. It's showing your computer. I haven't got a... All right. There it is. I'm on the edge of the toilet. Yeah!

That's good, Dad! Adventure World is the nation's number one choice for tents. Sleeping bags, climbing gear, and whatever need to make this summer one you won't ever forget. And right now, we are offering huge discounts on all canoe and kayak equipment. Step into a world of excitement and adventure world. Thank you for your patience. A team member will be with you shortly. If you know your extension, you can dial it at any time.

It's 445 just wanted to let you know we're headed to the lake. Be with you, shortly. He has poison ivy. We haven't even left yet. Okay, that's it. Good morning. It's Glenn Edwards from Castle Bank. I need you to call me back as soon as possible.

Anytime. 2-1-2-2. Adventure. You really think that among us girls, that you can just fuck. I got news for you, buddy. I don't go away. Do you luck. It's about to be mosquito season.

And the yard is looking like the hands on. It's hard of darkness over there, buddy. And if you're having problems with the lawn miller, you're welcome to borrow my rider. I think you can enjoy her. I just have it tuned up. Anyway, look, haven't seen you for a few days. It's on all canoe and kayak equipment. Watch out because there are some weirdo-warned Bible thumbers of what they are.

I've been going door-to-door and out leaflets. They gave some to Carol and told her the war was going to end soon. And I think she has to leave. And they don't at your door. Cut your eye, I'm glad he did. You think I'm just going to sit here by the far? Waiting for you to call? Waiting for you to call me back.

Depend to a world. Maybe I'll... Thank you for your patience. A team member will be with you shortly. If you know your extension, you can... I'll go over to Danny's house. I think Danny was looking at me. Dinner.

Did you notice that the way's looking at me? Maybe I'll go suck Danny. Sucked your best friend's dick. I don't know you like that, you little... fucking paw me back. Good afternoon. It's Andrew Wilder from Castle Bank. This is our fourth attempt to reach you, Mr. Groves.

I'm sure you understand how important it is that you are... Any time. But to begin foreclosure, you've been a loyal member of Castle Bank for climbing gear and whatever you need to make this summer one you won't ever forget. And right now, we are... Fortunately, if we don't hear from you, we will have to... ...chaic equipment. Step into a world of excitement and adventure world.

Thank you for your patience. A team member will be with you short... What's going on, Larry? You promised Jason... ...go fishing. He waited at the dock for three hours. He had a horrible nightmare about you. Said you left the planet or something.

And when we got... Shane, please tell me you're not drinking again, Larry. You know the rules, booze or your kids. That's the choice. Can you please talk to Jason? Hey, Larry, look, I don't mean to be that neighbor, but I'm going to be. I'll look over a yacht. I feel like I'm back at Woodstock looking at hippie bush.

Adventure World is the nation's... Bugs. You gotta take care of that thing, man. Oh, if you laid up, he's let me now. I'll ride on over on the rider cleaning right up. No problem. I understand. You go on vacation again or something? Where are you, man?

Proof of life, all right? And also, these missionaries out of control, he came back again, can't believe that? You had to get one of those Beware, dog, and all the signs of... Bags, climbing gear, and whatever you need to make this summer... Scared the shit of Carol. I was out of town, he let you. You let them in.

Can't believe that? Are ones you won't ever... Knowns Town. Waterman, Dave Koresh, Letterman, Will she wasn't in. Huh. Hi, Larry, it's Gina. Don't worry, I'm not mad anymore.

I just thought you should know that I tried to fucking kill myself. Adventure world, the nation's number... Just 50 stitches. Anyway, I just thought that since you're busy, you probably need me to go pick up Jason at school today. You did tell me I could meet him. Remember? Probably don't.

Because you're drunk, you fucking piece of you. You fucking piece of shit. But I'm going to go meet Jason now. I'm going to pick him up from school for you. And right now, we are offering huge discounts on all... They found something. The... Larry, I'm not calling about your yacht.

Can you just pick up the phone? Carol left me. I think she won't... ...dap into a world of... Larry's... Larry, she left the note. I can't... I can't find my glasses, Larry.

She would always find... my glasses from me. Please, Larry. Can you just come over and help me? Thank you for your patience. A team member will be with you shortly. If you know your extension, you can dial it at any time. Dogs, they bring us joy, laughter, and love.

And yet these loyal creatures are destroyed on a daily basis. Euthanized by shelters unable to find them the loving home they need and deserve. For only a few dollars a month, you can rescue a canine companion from certain doom and send them to live with a family that will love and cherish them their whole life through. If you're interested in keeping lonely dogs from dying tragically in shelters, just press one. Press one to change a dog's life forever. Don't let them die like this. Please press one now.

Ever forget. And right now, we are offering... This is Detective William Wright with the Cavalier County Police Department. You need to call us back immediately regarding your ex-wife and son. Again, my name is Detective William Wright. Thank you for your patience, a team member, 7, 8. We need to talk. Jason, it's Daddy.

I wanted you a Mommy to know that Daddy's just fine. I found a better play, a place that you and Mommy can still come to if you're... ...ever forget. And right now, we are... ...you're rich discounts on... canoe and kayak equipment. Steven come, bro.

It's an adventure world. Mommy. Mommy. It's an adventure world. Thank you for your patience. A team member will be with you shortly. If you know your extension, you can dial it at any time.

That's just adventure world shit. Turn that shit off. People said the CIA, that bank, that's what the CIA was laundering money through. What the fuck? Burn it! Burn the tapes.

Yeah, Castle Bank. What the fuck? Thank you, Chad. Castle Bank may have laundered CIA funds for the Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba. Sources say the bank also may have been used to move CIA money for other Latin countries. The key link to the theory of CIA involvement in the bank is former Miami lawyer. Look up. We've done this before.

look up Castle Bank Adventure World look up Adventure World Outdoor Shop Again like we already done this shit Adventure World Play sets You can't What I don't What's really fucked about this is

Every fucking thing that gets mentioned in these tapes You can't find You know Is this it? Adventureworldstore.com See if they got a phone number They just sell ponchos Maybe

I don't know Contact it No that's outdoor play sets It's like The The amount of It's just fucking filled with this shit Maybe it's worth it

I don't know You guys seem to like it I don't know I just don't I just don't like the the vibe man you know like that tape is like what is that

an answering machine tape is it fake is it because that does not that sounds like it's saying that you know obviously like the guy like unalived himself or I don't know but look I don't mean to end it on a fucking dark note but you guys wanted to hear this shit

um I tell you what I will I'll get a few more I'll see if I can find a few more to play for you but I don't really I'll talk to Aaron about it first but it has been fucking years so if you guys are

if you guys want to explore the more I guess we could but let me think about it I don't know it just always gives me the fucking creeps look guys I got to get out of here man and by the way I am off to Australia So one more live, DTFH.

And then after that, I'm going to Australia for a week and a half for my tour. I think there's still tickets for some of the shows. A lot of the shows are selling out. So if any of you are Australians, go to Dunkettruzzle.com. You can find ticket links there. Also, I got some other dates coming up that I should announce. Jesus fucking Christ, that shit feels like a demon just took a shit in my brain. Thank you, Drew Lewis.

for fucking getting me to open the Necronomicon live. Oh, D-A-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-A-V-A-V-A-V-E-V-E-V-E-V-V-E-V-V-A. I'm going to destroy your family. B-B-B-B-B-I-B! I made thousands of the earth. of scissors fucking tapes I randomly sent scary shit to a dad welcome to having

the world is a nickname no thanks anyway it's go to dungerjusel.com you can find all the dates there avoid listening to evil tapes and see what the fuck

dude doesn't it leave just like a stink in the air yeah my brain feels funny um and i you know i don't buy honestly i don't buy in the cia shit but i do buy into the fact that people who have schizophrenia often like tune into like shit like the cia and stuff like that i mean i'm more prone to think cuckoo bird sends tapes cuckoo bird makes box of tapes cuckoo bird sends another cuckoo box of tapes. And if I could find anything in the fucking tapes that had any kind of anything online, you know, any connection, maybe you guys could do the research. I don't know. Let me think about it. I guess we could like make a, like, if we wanted to go full fucking weirdo with this, we could make a subreddit for the tapes.

put all the tapes on there to let them comb through it put the tapes on there and you guys could try to fucking decode this thing but I gotta talk to Aaron first because more than likely

she's gonna be like fuck no but maybe it has been years I mean if you guys are game I'm game I don't know I gotta talk to Aaron

please put it on your subreddit we love you over there they mad at me but subreddit rejected by my own subreddit in this dark world I know that feels like feels like being put in a basket

and sit down the river by my own subreddit think I'm a fascist now breaks a man's heart a lot of people in my militia were like dude your subreddit thinks you're a fascist well I will see you guys next week Josh let's talk about this shit maybe we can like grab a few more of these and play them

Okay. Maybe we spread it out or something, like one a week. We'll play one tape a week. A segment. Yeah, it could be a segment or something. Thank you for saying that. I forgot to say that. Thank you, Grainov.

Never trust a fart. I forgot to say that. Thank you. I like to wrap up by saying that. Never trust a fart, guys. You know, sometimes they lie, and sometimes it feels like the truth. And, you know, the moment we start believing lies with the truth, then, well, that's when we become friends with our farts.

And though I don't think you should be enemies with your farts because you're doomed to lose, I don't think that you should let your farts make big life decisions for you. So thank you. I really do appreciate that. Never trust your farts. Trust your hearts. I'll see you next week. Bye-bye.