Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 746: NASA MOON LAUNCH ON APRIL FOOLS DAY! WHY NOT?!?!?

Episode Date: April 5, 2026

We gather today, four days ago, on that most somber of days, to indulge in our sociopathy and antisocial impulses with an added layer of plausible deniability. Also they launched a rocket at the moon!?Chicago family! Duncan is coming to Zanies in Rosemont, IL, April 9-11. Click here to get your tickets now!This episode is brought to you by: Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch — delivering instant focus and mental clarity, without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use code DUNCAN to get 15% off at TakeUltra.com. For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off for life + Free Shipping AND 3 Free Gifts at MenGoToMars.com. Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code DUNCAN. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast.

Hi, friends. You're about to tune in to the number one day stream in America. But before you do that, I got to do the comedian thing and plug my dates. I want you to come to my shows. I want to smell you. I'm going to be in Rosemont, Illinois, April 9th through the 11th at Zanies. I'm going to be in Tulsa, April 16th through the 18th at the Bricktown Comedy Club. in April 23rd through the 25th. I'm going to be in Jacksonville, Florida at the Comedy Zone. Lots of dates.

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And now let's dive in. into the day stream. ...foiling down the stream of day. And even though sometimes you just want to curl up in a ball and scream, you know that just won't do a thing, so why not plug into the day stream? Take technology that we have

was created for the war machine. They really don't want us to use it to connect. And pretty soon they probably won't let us stream. So why not join together while we can before it ends on the 14th of May? Have some fun before they enact their plan. Have some fun on the stream of day. Welcome, welcome to you, my beautiful denizens of the day. This is the Dunkett Russell Family Hour, aka the day stream, as opposed to the night stream.

And here we all are, gathered together on April 1st, aka April Fool's Day. It's an ancient holiday. You might not be aware of this that has its roots in ancient Gregorian culture in Lower Albanasia is the first incident of an April Fool's Day prank when Carson the Blithiat threw a raccoon at Vargox. And famously, as the raccoon was flying through the air, he yelled, that's not a raccoon. April Fool's, and that was the beginning of the most obnoxious holiday that has continued throughout time, allowing sociopaths and assholes to justify their unbridled aggression against their brothers and sisters by doing what they call pranks more often than not.

These pranks suck. They're not pranks. They're usually schoolyard bullying techniques. But every once in a while, a sophisticated prank happens that is worth noting and incredible. And so that brings us to the now. NASA moon launch. Josh, can you pull up that live stream? You know, today we are headed back to the moon. There was a little pause. We didn't really think we needed to go back to the moon.

We went up there a few times, wandered around, walked around, checked out the moon, went up there. We drove golf carts all over the moon, and humans were up there on the moon, having fun. And now, it was, you know, it's a big deal. to get humans up on the moon. You know, historic, actually. Unfortunately, they lost all the footage, which happens when, who hasn't lost footage? I do. I lose it on my computer all the time.

You guys are probably aware of the fact that NASA lost the original moon landing video. But here we are, guys. This is, right now what we're doing here is these astronauts are getting they're getting ready to go and fly around the moon. They're not going to land on the moon. They're just doing a flyby.

Going to check out the dark side of the moon. And this is an exciting moment. Man, we're going back. We're going back there. And we're doing it on April Fool's Day, which I just feel like I need to say this

because I feel like there's a lot of you out there. No judgment. Misinformation is real. People get sucked into misinformation all the time. There's a lot of you out there, I feel like, who are noticing the date they chose to send people back to the moon. Happens to be April Fool's Day. And I just, this is, as someone who has spent his life fighting misinformation in the trenches of the information war, setting things straight, going on Snopes, professionally debunking some of the foolishness out there. I want to point something out to you. Just because it happens that our return to

the moon is on April Fool's Day doesn't mean anything. That's a false correlation in philosophy circles, which I frequent happily and am welcomed with open arms. We call that a Bledzer's error. And it's the 16th philosophical mistake where you take one thing and pair it with another thing. and smush it together when it doesn't belong. Now, don't make the Bletzer's error just because on April Fool's NASA is going to send people back to the moon. Because that's, let me explain where this slippery slope could take you. You've got to start at the beginning.

Number one, you don't believe we went to the moon. Now, Josh, just for, I'm just, I just want to show how sometimes direct evidence doesn't work. can you please pull up Josh some videos of the moon landing? Now, number one, thankfully, even though they did lose the original footage, which happens all the time, who hasn't lost a family video, who hasn't lost something, just because they're NASA, doesn't mean they're not human. Of course you might lose, yeah, was it maybe the most important footage

in the history of humanity? But hey, NASA's a big place, and it's easy to lose stuff. Let's see, it's weird, there you go. Just skip ahead. He's coming back from the moon there. But what we're showing for my dear listening audience, it's the astronauts returning from the moon. There we go.

This is it landing on the moon. There we go. Okay, so number one, for all of you saying we didn't go to the moon, boom. There you go. Footprint. We're showing a footprint on the screen. That's definitely moon footprint. There's a person on the moon.

Jump ahead a little bit. There he goes. There he goes. Head it off. Josh, Google astronaut on the moon jumping because they had some fun up there too. And who wouldn't? Who wouldn't have fun? You're on the moon.

The moon was made for fun if you ask me. That's some Cindy Lopper song. But there you go. That's Eugene Sinman having a blast up there. Look at him go. Bouncy bouncing on the moon. Having some fun. Totally real. Why do you think this is fake, you weirdo? That's what are you singing. This is so fun, having some fun. That's totally normal. Let's find more footage of the astronauts. I'm just showing you this. I know most of you who watch my streams are logical people, but let's just watch some more of this footage on the moon. It's all real. Totally real.

Now, I do want to point something out. A lot of people, they say, well, how come you don't see any stars? And to make that argument, they say things like, you should see a bunch of stars, right? Like, if I go out into the country, I see tons of stars, and especially in the light pollution. Like, for example, Josh, it's a Google image search probably, a view of space from Mars. I don't know if you saw this. Mars, you do see a lot of stars when you look up from Mars. let's see if you can find that

there you go that's that Instagram one at the very end second column all the way yeah pull that up Josh now okay so this is this is what the sky looks like on Mars you know see a lot of stars there's no light pollution so

see a lot of stars now go back to that moon footage just because I feel like if you're going to again someone who's fighting the misinformation more for a long time. Go back to the moon one. Yeah. Now, you'll notice in this image, it's just the sky is black. And one seeing the mark, go back to the Mars image. Let's just do a comparison. That's the moon. Hoppy, hoppy, little bunny. Go back. Now, that's Mars. Now, go back to the

moon. Now, okay. Why? Why? Many people would ask. And if you're asking, shouldn't even ask. Honestly, if you're asking questions like that, I feel like you should not be allowed to post on the internet. That's people in my field fighting misinformation. We think that people who don't think we went to the moon should not be allowed on the internet. But the reason is known as the Parthenon field's gybistropic effect, which happens on the moon. The moon emanates an anti-star field. And it's a protective mechanism. It's like an ancient Why is my chest hanging? That's embarrassing.

It's an ancient protective mechanism. My chest was not out just now. That was AI. And I did that on purpose so you guys could see how realistic AI is. I've had my shirt buttoned up this entire fucking time. So that's another thing we'll get into later. If you go back and look at the video, it looks like my shirt was hanging open like I was a raging douchebag returning from a margarita bar where I struck. out, drunkenly hitting on college girls.

But as it turns out, that was AI is an example. Gotcha! Similarly, what you're seeing here is not AI. This is totally real. It looks totally real. Nothing about this seems fishy at all. And the fact that we haven't gone back to the moon in any real capacity is not fishy at all because why would you want to create a base on the moon?

Why would you even want that? there's no point there's no usefulness there's no no reason that we would want to go back there at all none zero zero reasoning that we would want to go back do you want to be on a on the moon do you would you like to live on the moon little baby is that you want to be on the moon just a little baby on the moon eating cheese i would not want to be on the moon no one in the misinformation in the misinformation fighting community wants to be on the moon at all because we like to look at the stars and on the moon you can see no stars as William Blake said one of my favorite poems by William Blake the great poet oh moon above your speckled skin reminds me of all that has been

and yet the sky so very black around you makes me very sad. Very sad, very sad. I wish that I could see the stars from your sweet moon throne up a bar. And yet I can't, and so, you know, to the moon, I'll never go. It's William Blake. They knew that back then.

They knew that. Thank you, Josh. Josh is snapping now, by the way, which is we don't clap here anymore. Thank you. Thank you for the snaps. A little, little loud. Those are, did they need to be that loud? I'll do golf snaps next time.

It's still kind of loud. And the scratch was like. Extremely loud. You could pull back and scratch your beard and then come back in. Okay, I do that. So a lot of people in the audience, that's going to trigger them. So my apologies, everybody, you know. Josh is making efforts.

That's all we can do. and I appreciate that. Look at this. See that? That's how you do it. Oh, so like you're scratching your balls. Come on. Very light.

All right. Come on. This is not that kind of podcast anymore. And again, here we are on Mars, looking up at the sky. And so I feel I feel like I've done pretty much as much as you can do when it comes to proving that we've been to the moon. And the fact that I even have to do that is sad. It's sad. You know, I was showing my kid, moon landing footage, and my sweet child looked at it and said, that looks fake, dad. I don't think that's real. That doesn't look real. That looks fake.

And, you know, grounded, immediate grounding for three days, immediate grounding. I said, never, ever, ever say that again. Don't say that. If you say that in a few years, you will not be able to go online. and that's just my view on it. So here we are again. Let's cut back to the real world now. Here we are. It's very exciting. This is NASA. We are getting ready to go on the moon. He's got his stash bag there. That's where they carry their lucky charms. Every astronaut carries a bag of lucky charms when they go up to the moon. Astronauts have little bibles and gyms and jewels and all kinds of things. And his string is coming out there. That's his bag string in case it drops out, even though they're not going on the moon. And he's doing the classic astronaut pat. He's getting his

legs patted down. You could see thumb and thumbs up. He's ready to go. He's looking at that, what she's bringing over? And he's like, what the fuck is this now? And here we go, shoving in some chocolate every astronaut when they're on a moon mission has a bag of chocolate that they carry in their side pockets because that's what you need up there and yeah he's um he's wondering about the carpeting he's wondering you know an astronaut are are obviously the best among us and you know what you could see what he's kind of thinking is like why the fuck do these chairs see Why does it seem like they got these chairs from the back rooms? He's like, why does it seem like a lot of the stuff in here is from the backrooms?

Why is this shitty carpet here? This is NASA. Like, surely you could afford better carpet than this shit. This is, this is fucking, this is a kind of, this is garbage carpet. This is fucked up backrooms carpet. Now, notice behind them, you see the metal things with the gauges on. them and those are all important and are used for moon stuff. Those are moon machines. And when they're doing a moon landing, they have to make sure those gauges are set right. And every single thing you're

seeing here totally makes sense. It all does. You'll notice the photographer is masking, thank God. That photographer has Ebola. I don't know if you knew that, but that's another tradition is when you're taking pictures of astronauts in weird backroom chairs getting ready on April Fool's Day to go back to the moon. It's a tradition at NASA to take a photographer who has hemorrhagic fever and let them take pictures of the astronauts. But of course they have to mask to make sure the astronauts don't get sick. And you might be asking, shouldn't everyone be masking? No, absolutely not. just that one lady should be masking and I'm so glad she did.

You'll notice also the outlet back there that's one of the moon machines is plugged into that outlet. And yeah, it's NASA, so they're using top of the line gear and stuff. Fist bump to the man to the umpalumpa man. Now notice on the side pocket there, you see those two blue things that they're where the side pocket blue things. Those are machetes. Every astronaut carries two machetes into space. And he's pointing to that guy's little note. It's probably a reminder that says,

go fly to the moon today. Don't forget, today you're going to the moon. And again, I really want to reiterate how completely normal all of this is, that nothing that you're going to the moon. looking at here should seem weird to you at all. Nothing that you're seeing here should seem strange. Why would you even think it's strange? Why would something about this give you the weirdest fucking feeling ever? Why? This is normal. This is just how we do it. She's got his moon watch ready to go. That's my moon machine, she probably just said. And, oh, what's this? What's this? Oh, great. Thank you.

Thank you. This is a Yeah. Now, this sounds disgusting and I'm sorry about that. But what she's putting into the side pocket there is the astronaut's diarrhea. And all this makes sense. Everyone you're seeing makes sense.

Everything here totally makes sense. Nothing weird about this at all. Scarlett Johanson is talking about going back to the... Why is that sir? Does any of this seem like weird to you? It's not. This is how you go to the moon. You get packets of goop and you eat it.

It's just normal. We're definitely going to the moon on April Fool's Day. I'm frustrated that I have to spend my time on this podcast fighting misinformation. There's so many other things I'd like to be talking about, like the disappearing scientists. Is that Mark Merritt? Yeah, I think it is. Yeah, it's giving him a. Fawn farewell.

And this is, this is exactly the way they've always done moon launches. And these, you might ask yourself, well, why do the people who aren't going to the moon have to wear white jumpsuits? You got to wear them. This is international law. This is Geneva Convention shit. Like all of this, that's a happy group of people. They've gathered to see us go to the moon. I want to thank ultra pouches for supporting this very important episode of the DTFH.

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After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please do support our show and tell them the DTFS sent you. Which we are totally doing four hours and 15. minutes from Cape Canaveral, Florida. In four hours and 58 minutes. Oh, those are content creators. That's, fuck yeah. That makes sense.

All of this makes sense. You know, I think not to get too spiritual or preachy here, but if you're looking at this and you're like, none of this really feel, like, something about it feels off to me um i think that's a you thing i think that's a you thing and you know sometimes even your rational mind uh works against you unfortunately and that little still small quiet voice that people tell you to listen to don't listen to that having fought the war against misinformation.

For most of my life, I've learned to really not listen to that part, that thing inside of me, because it's so many times it's wrong. You know, for example, recently the president of the United States, Donald Trump, said that we won the war in Iran. And that's still a small, quiet voice in me. It said that sounds like bullshit. And it was barely even still small. all in quiet. It was kind of loud. It was like that sounds like the most insane horse shit I ever

heard in my life. It sounds more like you don't want to get trapped in the quagmire you created. And so you're just going to fucking head on home like some drunk party clown that just took a big shit on a bunch of toddlers at the party you got paid to dance around at. And you realize, and you're as you're leaving, you're saying that was the bad. party I've ever put on for kids. But this is what this is what that part of you does. It makes you, we should be all, today is a day of celebration because one, we're going back to the moon.

And two, I'm pretty sure today the president of the United States is going to announce that we won the war on Iran and that we can now leave. And that's a, that's, and it's all on April Fool's. and that's the part that like I really want to emphasize don't let that still small quiet voice and you say is this some kind of masonic shit because it really you know you could easily think this seems like some kind of weird occult thing it's almost as though look I'll try to make just in all fairness I'll try to do the voice of a lunatic one could think that this seems to be some kind of occult ritual that is designed to simultaneously fool people while winking that it's obviously a joke. Like, yes, there seem to be rules in like certain cabals of people where they have a rule that

they have to in some way or another announce the truth while also lying. you know and so one could using that twisted logic think that the fact that today the president's probably going to say we're bailing on Iran and that we're also going back to the moon on april fools is clearly one of those things and is it josh do you think it's one of those things i think this is this dimensions the purge that's what april fools is it's a lot we don't kill each other but we say what we really think and then put it out there and gaslight everybody. I don't know what you meant, but I applaud your bravery. I appreciate it.

Now, we'll come back to this. This is really, as always, NASA has really, this is exciting stuff. And to all my moonheads out there, I know that you probably want to stick on this, but let's take a little diversion. Pull up that daily mail article, Josh. Give me one sec I'm going to the moon It's my moon

I'm going to the moon I'm going to the moon I'm going to the moon Daddy I can't wait to see that sweet old moon Oh the moon Okay This is Scroll down

Scroll back up so I can read it Josh This is from the Daily Mail Mystery of mystery of sorry I'm distracted by the shirt advertisement there I got my daddy's temper

in my mom syphilis mystery of scientists dead or missing rises to eight is two more men tied to America's most coveted secrets join the list scroll down a little bit

so I can read it the ominous web of U.S. scientists and lab employees who have died or gone missing, continues to grow as two more cases have been linked to this disturbing trend. NASA scientist Frank Maywald reportedly died on July 4th in Los Angeles at age of 61, but the case of death has never been made public and officials confirmed that an autopsy was never performed. Maywold had been a prominent research at the researcher at the space agency's

jet propulsion laboratory since 1999 and worked on multiple projects tied to advanced satellite technology that could scan Earth and other planets. In June, 23, just 13 months before his death, he was a lead researcher on a breakthrough that could help future space missions detect clear signs of life on other worlds. Despite Maywald being a JPL principal, an award given to scientists making outstanding individual contributions in their fields, NASA has never commented publicly on the scientist's death. All right. Well, Daily Mail, you know, I'm... This is true.

People die. It's sad. But NASA's got their hands full, Daily Mail. NASA's got their hands full. They're going to the moon. Okay? That's all hands on deck. And I'm sure that they will make a comment about this, but not.

We're going to the moon. On April Fool's Day, look at this. Somebody needs to send this to the Daily Mail. Look at that. There's a moon coming. right there, a little moon tube. Look at that. Look at that.

What does that look like? That looks like a moon tube. And it all is real. Now cut back to the Daily Mail. That's real. Makes sense. Meanwhile, another mysterious disappearance has come to light at Los Alamos National Laboratory,

one of America's key nuclear research facilities, bringing the total number of unexplained incidents to eight Anthony Chavez, a former employee at L-E-N-L, until his retirement in 2017, vanished without a trace on May 4th, 2025, just seven weeks before a key assistant at the same lab disappeared. Now, you might, and again the daily, this is what we do, this is what the human mind does, you might think to yourself, well, that does seem a little odd that two people at the exact work at the exact same laboratory disappeared. And one might even ask oneself, do I know anyone who's disappeared?

Like completely? Like if I ever... And then, you know, another thing you might be thinking is that what's the name of that lady who's mom just disappeared? I don't know. You got to know. It was big news.

What was that, you guys? A lady whose mom just disappeared. She was like on the view. or something. Nancy Guthrie. Nancy Guthrie's mom disappeared. Now go back to the miss. Now, you, again, this is that still small, I feel like I need to give voice to the irrational so we can get to the rational. That still small, quiet voice might ask a crazy question, which is why did we completely focus on the disappearance of Nancy Guthrie's mother? Why was that the sole focus? of the of pop culture for so long when these scientists two scientists vanished without a trace

who were working at one of America's key nuclear research facilities now you might think you know god I mean just for national security reasons alone wouldn't you want to wouldn't we want to focus on that I mean not that we shouldn't focus on Nancy Guthrie's mom but these or there's scientists who are making groundbreaking discoveries who've suddenly been dying or disappearing. Now, I'll show you why. Pull up a picture of Nancy Guthrie's mom. Look at that sweet lady.

Look at that Nancy Guthrie with her sweet mom. That's why. That's why. Yeah, did Nancy Guthrie's mom come up with something where you can discover a lot? on other planets? Was she working in, like, plasma research? No. But you know what she did do? Pull up a picture of Nancy Guthrie. Look at that. She made one of America's most wonderful people. That's Nancy, that's, pull up the one with her neck. God, Josh, pull up the one with her, with her mom. Oh, sorry. Look at that. You're going to tell me, you're going to tell me we're going to let

this woman's disappearance, we're going to let the disappearance of scientists overshadow or eclipse the disappearance of Nancy Guthrie's mama? That's the world you want to live in? No, not me, and no one rational wants to live in that world. That's Nancy fucking Guthrie. Every morning I wake up in the morning and I kiss the fucking ground and I thank God for Nancy Guthrie and her mother who made her in her womb, in her womb. And so look at that.

Oh, my God. I've never even seen that one. And I have almost every picture of Nancy Guthrie and her mom. Pull up this daily mail again. Let's just get back into that. You know what? Cut to the live feed for just one second. I just need to take up.

My allergies are acting up. My eyes are water. just pull up the life feet it's up all right pull up the daily mail whatever savannah guthrie nancy guthrie i called

somebody was commenting that i said the wrong name i said that because i don't differentiate mother from daughter same person so fuck you fuck you don't don't try to fact check me it won't work you're gonna lose i'm certified i'm a certified misinformation warrior it won't work

five minutes of ban who ever posted that um yeah so as we as we know let's go on two scientists disappeared um

and let's see the Daily Mail has reached out to Maywalt's family in the county of Los Angeles for comment on the circumstances you know if I was reaching out to Maywalt's family it would be to get their thoughts on the disappearance of the Guthrie mother

is what I'd be asking about Meanwhile, Chavez was last seen leaving his home in the Denver Seals neighborhood of Los Alamos on foot. The longtime L.A.N.L. employee left his car locked in the driveway and did not take his wallet keys or other personal items, which were all found inside Chavez's home. Although friends considered him an avid hiker, investigators noted that Chavez was not dressed for a long outdoor walk and did not take a phone with him in case of emergency. L.A.N.L. has not returned the Daily Mail's request for comment on the nature of Shepa. office's work at the high security nuclear lab again guys like daily mail my guess is that the people at la n l a n l were probably focusing on the guthrie disappearance or the moon landing on a on today april fools they're probably excited about it no they don't have time they'll get back to you the facility

was founded by the fame manhattan project during world war two it has been tied to nuclear weapons research ever since and one woman feared to possess those secrets is also missing now okay again an untrained mind hears this stuff and freaks the fuck out and thinks there's no way that's coincidental at all but it is people disappear all the fucking time and it just happens it's a big world there's so many trees in this world and if you've ever been in a place where there's a lot of trees gathered together, which they call a forest, you will notice it's easy to get lost. All you need is just clusters of trees. And you're fucked.

You're getting enough trees. You're fucked. And so, yeah, you know, what does scientists love more than science? Hiking. Every scientist loves to hike. Every scientist I've ever met as an avid hiker. And sometimes when the call of the forest is strong. enough, you're like, you know what, I'm leaving my wallet. I don't want to take my keys. I'm just

going to go for a quick jaunt in the forest. We've all done it. We've all done. I consider myself a scientist. And I could be in the woods for five minutes. And once I went in the woods just to pee, and I didn't come out of there for four days. I was so lost. So this is normal. People get lost. Los Alamos. Pull up forest near Los Alamos. Look at this. Look at these forests around Los Alamos. It's a hiker. Give me one second. I've got to do something.

He's a hiker. An avid hiker. So pull up best hikes in Los Alamos. I'll just pull this up. This is what I will do the work for you today. But I want you to start doing this work. Look at that. Damn, look at all those tree clusters and desert.

Are you telling you can get fucking lost as fuck there. It's caves. You could easily, I would not be surprised if there. that place stinks of rotting scientist flesh just from all the scientists who have vanished up there. Yeah. Let's go back to that Daily Mail article. Keep scrolling down.

This guy. Yeah, that's Anthony Chavez. And he disappeared. So if you know, if you've seen that dude, on Tender, he seems like he... Former FBI... assistant director Chris Swacker told the daily mail that even employees who do not work directly

on top secret scientific research could be targeted by foreign spy agencies as they often have access. Well, that could be it. Keep scrolling down. Up. Tennessee Congressman Tim Burchett said there have been several others throughout the country that have disappeared under suspicious circumstances. I think we ought to be paying attention to it. I think we ought to be paying attention to Guthrie. Not this. Not this. Let's go back to the moon landing stuff. So no, don't look at this stuff anymore. If you guys see any kind of stuff about this appearing scientists related to plasma research, it's just ignore.

That's a just ignore. Is that where we're at? Go to the end there, Josh. Let's see where we're at now. Here we go! They're getting ready to go to the moon. And that's exciting. With cupcake baked by one of the daughters. I love this story.

Moon cupcakes. The next morning, like how awesome. is that right? Clearly he has that in his daughters. Christina said she took a bike ride with her husband and wanted to tell him when the moon rose, but that it was too foggy, but she said, ah, he was still very excited and happy for. Yeah, the moon's, the moon's still out there. The moon's still out there. I love that.

That's the tour bus, the Artemis Tour Bus. They just did this big tour of Miami. They went to a lot of festivals and raves. the astronauts did, which is fucking cool. And this is great. You will notice, I do want to point something out that it appears these photographers aren't masking, which kind of bugs me. Yeah, they're getting ready to go out there. Oh, dudes in the back are masking.

That's good. Got some masks, some people who care. Oh, mask. That's good. That'll make sense. Nothing's weird about this at all. this is exactly normal heart heart heart heart heart heart i'm doing a heart look at that i'm an astronaut i did a heart heart bump heart bump here we go you know one thing though i guess they're wearing diapers

they have to because like i feel like i would immediately have to take a shit once i was all zipped in which still sucks i guess i doubt they're I don't know. Josh, can you Google if you poop in a space suit? Can people smell it? Okay. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by my friends at Mars men. Look, when you get to a certain age, your body stops making the spice.

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After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Tell them, you heard about them from the DTFH. Get the testosterone creek to flow again, a raging, punching, punching, River of testosterone. Thank you, Mars. If an astronaut poops inside their space suit, they will smell it, but others likely will not. Ugh. So that sucks.

That sucks. The suit's internal sealed atmosphere recirculates air through charcoal filters to remove contaminants, while the smell is contained inside, it will be intense for the wire, because there is no ventilation in the house. But most astronauts, about 70% enjoy diaper play. Who doesn't? Yeah. Who doesn't?

And I love diaper plays. I used to go see them all the time. They're so good. By Huggies. Huggy's has the best ones. You know, like they went down to hell. You know, my diaper with Andre, the Huggy's thing, it was like, I don't know. It felt derivative.

But, yeah, so. This is interesting. I didn't know that that if you shit yourself inside your spacesuit, you will be, it makes sense. I just never connected the dots. You will be, you'll be smelling that, and other astronauts will not. And that seems rough in this case. Oh, they're getting in the van, and that's it. I think they're taking them to the rocket right now.

That is crazy, man. This is a big day. Look at that. Shutting the van. Historic door shut. Taking the thing. What was that? He took off the side of the van.

That was weird. Go back, Josh. Go back a few seconds. I think it was a magnet to hold the door open. Oh, okay. Great. Exactly. Let's go back and look at that, though.

We should analyze that. Make sure there's nothing weird happening here. And there isn't at all. Anything. weird happening here. This is how the fantastic force started. Exactly. They're heroes. Going in. Oh, it's called an astrovan.

How cool is that? Like, astronomy. That's fucking cool. God, I'd love to hear what they're saying in there right now. I don't want to do this, but they're going to kill my family. All the scientists disappear. Now what? Now we have to wait four hours and 28 minutes away from going

back to the moon. Probably, what time is Trump's address? Six o'clock. So this is five? I don't know of that central time. Can you see what time the moon launches and what time Trump's address is? There's no way that he's doing the address

at the same time as the moon launch. There's no fucking way. 624. Okay, what time is Trump's address? There's no way. Nine. Okay, great. So he's not doing it at the same fucking time.

This is, man, what a day this is. This is the best April fools ever. Trump to address nation after saying U.S. may leave Iran. That's fucking great. That's great. And, yeah, the, I guess we should talk just a little bit, though. I like to avoid politics as much as possible on this podcast. But, you know, the straight-of-hormoos.

top of mind, isn't it? That's where all thinking about the straight-of-horn moves. Wait, what is this? Because it was at 624. It's such like an exact number I was seeing if there's significance to the number 624. Well, it's great. Good stuff. Yeah, numerology 64,

often viewed as a message to trust the universe is providing for your needs, encouraging personal growth and maintaining a positive mindset. It's also the area code for Western New York. Get that shit off the screen. Get that fucking stupid, superstitious shit off the screen. This is what I've been fighting my whole life against. It's nothing.

It's a number. It's not weird at all. They pick that number. It's space stuff, Josh. They have to do that number. And here we go. And it's a big deal that we're going to fly around the moon. And then we can put a bow on it.

We're done with the moon. We don't have to bother. with it anymore. This is a little bow. Tie it up. We already did it. I have a feeling the reason that we're doing this now is because a lot of you people have been saying there's no fucking way we did that. Put a bow on it. Just like we're

going to put a bow on the war on Iran. We're done. We did it. It's over. We did it. And you know what happens tomorrow, right? What? That guy, this guy, Bledso said that the constellation of Leo will align with the sphinx

and that the spheres of the aliens will rise up from the ocean and stop the Iranian-Israel war. Not going to have to now. It's over. Oh, I guess Trump's beating him to it. Yeah, the spheres will not come tomorrow because we did it. We're done. We did it. There'll be no repercussions at all from blowing up the entire government of Iran. I'm sure the new regime is like, you know, totally not. going to do anything weird. Why? Why? You know, when I think about, and I almost hate to say this, because, and again, I don't want you guys to accuse me of being a nationalist all of a sudden,

but it is the greatest country on earth. And we haven't done a single bad thing. And we, you know, there's many countries that have enemies, but not the United States. People love us globally. you go to any country and say do you love the United States? Iraq, go to Iraq. Every day is the United States Day. Venezuela, they love us. The burden of oil is, you can find my book, The Burden of Oil, New York Times bestseller. And it just talks about when you're in a country that has tons of oil, it's a burden for you and your people.

And so the United States has been coming and relieving people of the burden of managing their oil supply. I mean, it's burdensome. It's a lot of work. Just paperwork. You watch paperwork goes into like an oil order because they still do it by paper. A lot. How many copies have to get made? The copiers are always running out of ink.

And the United States comes in and helps people with their like just the organizational part of distributing oil. Read my book, The Burden of Oil. Mark Levin wrote a great forward for it. You can find that on the new Grindr Publishing, Self-Publishing Service. The reality is that the Iranian people and the Iranian regime were so stressed out with the distribution of oil that the United States had. to do something to help. And you know how it is when you get really stressed out. Someone offers to help. Sometimes you're so flustered. You're like, I can do it all myself. And that's what the entire government of Iran was doing. They were all flustered. And so knowing that once you get to that level of stress,

you're probably not going to relax again. You're going to live in hell. The United States wiped out the entire government. But the point I'm making is that, in a world where the United States wasn't globally loved. And I shudder to think of that world. If that happened to us, you know, like if another country wiped out most of our leadership and then a new group of people joined together to run the country, we'd all celebrate. We were like, thank God, you know. We, they were so, our government was so stressed out.

And now there's less stressed people running things. It's always going to be better. And then we would never do anything at all to fire back at the country that did that. We would be like, yeah, it's cool. No big deal. And I feel like the new regime in Iran is like, yeah, shit happens, dude. It's cool. No big deal.

Look, you blew up a school or whatever and, you know, decimated us and all that. But I get it's cool. Trump, it's fine. We have no hard feelings. We definitely aren't going to do anything to retaliate at all. And I feel like that's what Trump's going to announce today, which is fucking great. It's fucking great. Another victory.

In and out. No big deal. We don't need this straight of fucking hormoose. It's only what? One eighth of the world's oil supply. No big deal. One fifth. Ah, whatever.

One fifth. 8th, basically the same. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's not going to affect gasoline prices at all. Well, they just tokenized oil recently. Perfect. Perfect.

It'll be fine. I mean, that's your way of saying, that's a crypto bro's way of saying. That's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. Nothing to be worried about at all right now. That's my message for you today. It's spring, baby.

Let's cut to brass tax. the true reality of things is it doesn't matter what these old fucking diaper wearing crusty oligarch reptilians do ultimately it doesn't matter let them fucking do their stupid thing they're always going to fuck shit up why are they doing this show that again why are they doing this like a the super bowl this is the weirdest thing man the NASA the new NASA like trying to get people people to reconnect with NASA by... I saw one where that... Yeah, why are they doing that?

It's so weird. It's so weird. I don't mean to go back on everything I said, but that fucking improv, whatever the fuck I just did went on by, like, I'd say about 30 to 40 minutes too long. Why are they touching their... Why are they doing this?

Well, anyway, I love spring. It's my favorite when it finally. happens. The winter's over. The leaves are growing back on the trees. It's the, it's just the most incredible middle finger in the face of everything. Spring is just like, fuck off. Fuck you, you negative fucks. Fuck you, you cynical people. Fuck your hopelessness. Fuck off. Things always get better. Even when things are horrible, they get better. In the middle of things, things being horrible, they can get better, even then stay horrible at the same time. You know what I'm saying, Josh?

You ever had that experience? We're like in the middle of just horrendous catastrophe. Something sticks out that is so beautiful and sweet. And suddenly you feel fine. And then you're like, what the fuck? I'm happy. You ever have that happen? Yeah.

But today's Joyce, that's why I'm wearing my NASA shirt today. Oh, look at that guys. Josh representing NASA. Oh shit. I'm sorry. There you go. Oh, boy. Here we go.

I'm going to, okay, I'm going to jump in the chat now. And I want to address something Jess 9371 is saying, and this is a controversy I meant to address up front. Okay. I have an OnlyFans. I'm not ashamed of that. I think there's nothing wrong with OnlyFans. I think it's fucking great. It empowers women, and it's really good.

And Ben, too. I have beautiful feet. And I always have. Ever since I was a kid, people have noticed my feet all the time, stunning feet. And so, yeah, you know, I've got a family now. I want to, you know, I got to make ends meet. And so I started an only fan a few years ago and make a spectacular amount of money from insane amounts of money from my feet art. And I call it art.

It's not prong. It's art. And there's stories I tell with my feet. There's healing. People have reported being healed just from looking at my feet, like just pictures. People have reported arthritis going away. People have reported hair growing back. People have reported financial miracles in their own lives from one look at my feet. Now, this is my question. cross to bear. You know, how often have you heard a beautiful woman talk about how it's not easy. Like, you think I just get to go anywhere I want and that I'm, you know, treated like a goddess anywhere I go. But that is not easy because you start feeling like nobody cares what's going on inside. Nobody cares. That's the burden of having beautiful feet. And again, I don't want to do the thing. I'm blessed to have these feet. God blessed me with beautiful, erotic, sensual feet. You know, I can hold a cucumber in my feet and throw it up, spin it, catch it with my feet again. Friction on the cucumber. That's one of the, one of my, go on my only fans. The link will be down below, but it's me.

like applying friction with my feet to a cucumber and it and it turns into a pickle right in between my feet so that's nobody even knows how that works because it could actually transform the entire pickling industry because there's like you know usually you have to like put it in a brown cucumber in a brine i don't honestly have no idea how you make pickles i think you put it in a salt water it makes a pickle i'm guessing from when you drink pickle brine which i love to do good good for your gut biome, but I can turn a cucumber into a pickle with my feet. And people have been reaching out from big pickle to ask, like, you know, and also I got threats. I guess that's one of the big secrets is they don't want, they don't want people to know.

You don't have to put it in a brine. You could apparently just, or their feet. My toes are very bendy. And so, like, I can, it's hard to do it without my feet, but I can do this, and then my toes can do this. I can play, like, a little tiny drum with my feet with my toes while doing this. It's hard to do with this, but. The dexterity in your toes is incredible. Did you say dexterity?

No. You said dexterity. Don't do that. Don't do that. please don't do that please don't allude to like some disgusting vulgarity we're not doing that we're not doing that kind of comedy here

we don't do that kind of comedy here no I was just saying the answer is no your toes move well as I was saying no the answer is no they do move well and I'm blessed but no what you're pointing towards is disgusting absolutely not absolutely not but like I can actually

heat a hot dog up with my feet like fun barbecues at my place because I don't even have to use the grill I just lay back people toss me the dog heat it right up and I could flip it with my feet right back into the bun people love it it's like one of the like people love it like it's it's a joy so again I don't want to seem like I'm complaining but I've had this only fans and Now there's a new thing where people who invade these streams and who come here just to hurt my feelings or to like so discord, they are now saying, well, then show us your feet if they're so beautiful. And it's like not to be like a capitalist piece of shit, but it's like it's like when you're at the gym and you get a doctor to look at a tumor on your face. Don't do that. Go to the doctor. You want to see my feet.

Go to my only fans. Links are down below. Plenty, plenty of stuff. Join, join my only fans. It'll be supporting my family. You'll be supporting the foot community. You'll be supporting pickling. It's a, it's a good thing for you to go to.

But I'm not going to show you, I'm not going to do that. And please stop asking. Who's that? I just kept saying, read my super chat again and again. Oh, don't, let them, can they still see? What's this? I'll read their super chat. I have a

on the night stream you I saw you put Batesar in a timeout that's one of our spamming people from the night stream he's called Batesar the menace Okay we got some super chats here thank you so much you guys Gattis why

why they aiming at the sun though is it orbit math look I don't know when scientists do things I don't question it at all I'm sure there's a reason for it that's a cool thing when someone is a scientist you don't even have to question anything they say saves you a lot of time um Andrew thank you for the super chat NASA NASA NASA SpaceX equals 33 special purpose a key comp 33 ah yeah yep that's what I've been one that's what I've that is true and I agree

Thank you is saying, Noombie, spaces for COVID. That's why you need to get at least 6% of people right before you go to the moon to mask because it completely removes the risk of COVID. Aminita, hello. Healing vibes do you? Get well. You're a national treasure. You hear my voice.

I'm better now. This is just some residual shit from getting sick with some kind of family. Gump. Gunk. Skunk. some gross shit. A dummy, thank you so much. Here's $5 for the cause.

April Fools. It was $10. Thank you so you got me. You got me. Thank you for the super chat. I do appreciate it. Friends, listen, this is a big day. And I don't like it when comedians get all high roadie and tell you what to do.

But I'm going to just, I'm going to do it. We live in perfect times. Things right now are perfect. You know, I was writing in my journal the other day, and I, you know, every once in a while when you're writing, you're like, whoa, I thought of that. I wrote, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And I wrote that, and I paused in the cap. You know, I took a big, deep sip of my Frappuccino. And I looked at what I'd written. And it's like,

oh my God, that is so beautiful. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And feel free, you can have that, put it on a shirt, use it. But it's true. There's nothing really to be afraid of except being afraid. It does no good for you, for the people around you. Fear turns into anger. Anger turns into bad decisions, bad decisions turn into bad karma. Bad karma turns into infinite horrific incarnations in various hell realms, which then maybe you'll get a human birth again in a few millennia. So don't be a afraid. We are in the greatest time in all of human history. And the, you know, the news, or what I call the, what do I call the news, Josh? Gospel? No, no. What? I call the news fake news.

Ah, yes. The fake news might have you believe that there's some maniac run in the fucking country right now. Robber barons and all that bullshit. No. Fake news will probably, like, you know, have you wondering why all these shits happen on April Fool's Day. Might have you thinking, it seems like these oligarch reptilian pieces of shit think we're fucking idiots. and are at the point of now just like casually humiliating us over and over again

because we won't do anything about it. But the truth of the matter is is that even if that were true, they're wrong. I mean, the point is, look at these old pieces of shit. Pull up a picture of Lindsey Graham at Disney World. Oh, yeah.

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That psychotic fucker went to Disney World. This is a guy who has been proclaiming his passionate desire for United States to blow up another. country who's like probably had some influence on us going in there killing a bunch of kids and this fucking psycho is wandering around children with some kind of like dog dick in his hand that's just my dog dick i just carry you know i love carrying my dog dick anywhere i go it's a beacon of truth. It reminds me that we live in the greatest country on earth. This is actually

not a dog dick. It's a dragon dick. Because the United States is like a dragon and we're going to get beautiful boots on the ground, beautiful polished boots of American soldiers. This shit can't last. I mean, that's whenever I look at Lindsey Graham, I just think,

well, this can't last. There's no fucking way. There's no way this is working anymore. I think there was a time where this stuff worked where like people would look at some psycho like that and somehow make it work in their heads I just don't think it's happening anymore

and that's good news really they think they're embarrassing us but they're embarrassing themselves flailing right now it's just not working and the real reason it's not working brings us to the core of this show pull up a picture of the Great Pyramid of Giza

Josh. There you go. So what we're looking at here is one of the most hideous fucking sights that you can look at, and I apologize for even pulling it up on the screen. Is it on the screen? This, of course, these are pyramids. And right there in the middle is the Great Pyramid, because it's bigger than the other fucking pyramids. But the Great Pyramid of Giza sucks balls.

It is a horse nest. and it is a monument to idiocy. And more than that, it is an emanator of darkness. For so long, the Great Pyramid has sat undisturbed in the middle of the fucking desert, blasting and belching out its hell rays and hellbeams and various foul imitations. contaminating the psychic atmosphere of our planet with something akin to to it's a you know actually there's a parallel here if you're an astronaut you shit in your space suit you're going to be smelling that if you're an earthling and there's a pyramid it's the same exact phenomena the pyramid

The pyramid is like it's like someone froze astronaut diarrhea and compressed it into that horrible, horrible shape. And it's stinking up the planet. The pyramid is why we have Lindsey Graham. The pyramid is why we have Donald Trump. The pyramid is why we have classism. The pyramid is why the oligarchs are running the show. The pyramid is why chat GPT glazes you. The pyramid is why you can't get chat GPT to generate an image of a scientist being incinerated by claymation animals.

The pyramid is why insidification is happening. The pyramid is why obvious things that should be working are no longer working. The pyramid is why. And so it would be easy to get all tangled up. And going out to a protest and marching, organizing, gathering together with your comrades, recognizing the one beautiful thing that does happen when you gather together with a group of people is within like four or five minutes. You realize you're infinitely more powerful than any regime. You could do that. Go ahead.

I'm not telling you not to. But while you guys are having your little fucking mahjong parties, daddy here is going to feel. fucking go to the head of the fucking snake. And that is the great pyramid of Giza. While you guys are gathering around organizing, which again, I'm not saying you shouldn't, I'm not dissuading you, like, go ahead. But it's, you know, it's a little bit like, it's a little bit like someone shits in a toilet and you take the water out and put it through a water filter.

I'm saying let's flush that turd. And then we can drink out of the toilet. that's what we're going to do. We're going to get rid of the fucking pyramid. The Great Pyramid of Giza is going bye-bye. And this is known as Operation Beast Blast. This is why I do what I do. This is why I have an only fan.

This is why I have a podcast. This is anything I've ever made is directed towards this. Operation Beast Blast. It's simple. I need to get more subscribers than Mr. Beast. Josh, how many subscribers have you? if we gotten this month? 22,000, I believe.

This month, thanks to you, the DTFH on YouTube, has gotten 22,000 subscribers. That is insane. How many subscribers is Mr. Beast have? Now, what's our total subscribers? Total subscribers is 184,000. Now, Mr. Beast?

474 million. 474 million. We're creeping up on him. We're creeping up on him. on him, Josh. Yeah. We are creeping up on Mr. Beast. Now, why you might wonder?

Why? Why are you focusing on Mr. Beast's subscriber count? Simple. He's the most popular YouTube channel. And the amount of money he generates every month is more than the economies of most countries. And so step one, we got to get more subscribers than Mr. Beast. People have already started contributing.

You can too. People have already started making their own art. They've been bringing that to shows. But that's not enough. You could put stuff, you could make posters and put it around your town. You could make pamphlets, flyers. You don't have to bring people back to my channel if you don't want to. My main goal is to raise awareness, pyramid awareness.

You can just say you feel bad because of the great pyramid at Giza. That's a great poster. Get that anywhere you can. Raise awareness. People will come here naturally. Start your own groups, your own clubs. Talk to your family. Talk to your grandparents.

Explain to them the reason that things have gone south is not. not because the current way that we elect our leaders happens to be essentially a method of choosing sociopaths. We just want to find the most convincing narcissistic sociopath. That becomes the president. There's a reason that's working like that. It's because of the influence of the Great Pyramid of Kiza. So here's the steps. One, I need more subscribers than Mr. Beast.

we're well on our way. Well on our way, thanks to you. Two, once I get more subscribers than Mr. Beast, according to my financial advisors, within two months, maybe three, I will have enough money to buy the Great Pyramid of Giza. I've already talked to the Egyptian government. They are so, so excited to get that fucking thing off their hands.

Maintenance alone is horrible. Cleaning the pyramids, it's a nightmare. There's two things you've got to clean from the pyramid. Two things. Dead animals. Dead animals. They go up there and they just die. Cats. They just go up there and fucking die. Egyptian street cats. They love to die on the pyramid. So the upper levels of the pyramids are covered with the rotting carcasses of Egyptian street cats. You go a little further up past that field of feline bones. And what you're going to find is discarded condoms filled with dusty, dried jizz because people go up there and they love to have exhibitionist sex and they say once you get

to the upper levels of the pyramid the stench of balls is so pungent and so foul that you the other thing you see up there is vomit just puddles of dried vomit from the people who go up there to clean it like being overcome by the stench of rotting cats and dried sweat witty balls that they just barf everywhere it's a nightmare and my heart goes out to the egyptian government for being cursed with such proximity to one of the to the worst thing on earth we're taking it off their hands and by the way other people have tried to buy the fucking pyramid of giza jeff bezos for example but not to do what i'm going to do with it jeff bezos wanted to buy the great pyramid of Giza because he wanted to turn it into a bookstore. Not me. Not me. I'm not going to turn

it into a mall, not going to turn into a bookstore, not going to turn it into some kind of like massive Egyptian deli. No, I'm going to blow the fucker up. I'm going to blow it up. You're going to blow it up with me. All of you, all of my subscribers from what will be called the early days of Operation Beast Blast, you will be flown out to Egypt, where we're going to have the greatest festival of all time, already in pre-negotiations with Kanye West to perform. What we're going to do is we are going to saw off that fucking capstone, and we are going to hollow that motherfucker out, not to the bottom, because the bottom of the pyramid isn't the bottom of the pyramid, it goes deep down there, baby.

We're going all the way down, all the way down. And we're going to fill it with diet, Coke, maybe Dr. Pepper, maybe Mountain Dew. A lot of various beverage companies are, including liquid death, are like really interested in being the sponsor. It will be a soda of some soda brand. We're going to fill it to the top. and then we're going to fill that motherfucker with mindos. Now, the explosion, the explosion will decimate the great pyramid of Giza.

We'll have a proprietary titanium fencing unit around the pyramid. You'll be able to see it clearly, but fragments from the pyramid will not hurt you. A lot of people are worried about that. Now, you're going to have front row seats, not just to the pyramid getting the fuck off our planet, but to Kanye West performing while we blow that motherfucker sky hot. That's Operation Beast blast. And the moment we do that, there's theories on what will happen. One theory is that Lindsay Graham will immediately turn into a fly-covered,

wet pile of dog shit, which is what apparently he really is. I don't know if you heard that or not. A lot of people say some of these scientists that disappeared are responsible for creating Lindsey Graham. I guess they, one of them, like, I'm sorry, this is like a little adult. There are no kids watching. Apparently one of them gave a hand job to a badger, jerked a badger off onto a pile of wet dog shit. and it immediately and it just grew into Lindsey Graham.

Now, I don't know if that's true. It could be misinformation. But stranger things have happened. And if that is the case, we get rid of the fucking pyramid. Lindsay Graham will go back to being a wet pilot dog shit on some cracked driveway in like a trailer park. And we'll be free. Your super chats.

Your subscriptions. All of it helps. Become a member. Even better. All of these things help. But just watching helps. Your emojis help. Everything helps to bring us one step closer to a pyramid-free planet. Alberg says I'm about to throw up in my mouth. Well, you don't have to. You could open your mouth and throw up on your floor. I highly recommend it. Drew Lewis. Oh, here we go. Drew the blasphemer. You're compromised, a very noble and highly respected astronaut NASA, Jim warned us of all this a decade ago on his deathbed. Look, man. Look, Drew the blasphemer. If I'm compromised, I'm compromised by freedom.

I'm compromised by the desire for all human beings to join together and recognize that a hypnotic spell has been cast on us by a very small group of powerful demons. demons, we're demon-possessed people, and that we're actually sharing a planet and that we don't have to blow each other up if we're arguing. People like you don't like that, Drew. People like you, you love it. You love the... What else I wrote in my journal the other day? Some people just want to see the world burn. And that's you, Drew. That's you. I don't. I don't want the world to burn. And it's on fire right now with an invisible fire. The fire of the Great Pyramid of Giza. and so no I'm not compromised, Drew.

I'm not compromised. But I got to wonder about you sometimes, Drew. I wonder who pays your bills. I wonder how you can afford $4.99 for a super chat. Kind of scratching my chin on that one. I wonder where you're getting your funding from, blasphemer. Maybe I'll have some of my people look into you. I look into them?

Yeah. Okay. Get on it. Josh is going to look into you, Drew. How about that? Damn, space goes 4-4-4. $20 Super Chat. Duncan, you should use the pet egg.

Oh, my God. On your feet. Oh, okay. I'm sorry, I got offended for a second because I thought you were implying that I needed to get rid of my calluses and sell the shavings. It's that cheese grater. I know what a pet egg is.

It's that cheese grater looking thing where you shave the dry skin off your feet and it goes into that container. People can sprinkle it on Caesar Salad. Not the first time my fans have asked for this. I have no doubt. This is a subscriber to my only fans. I guess the only confusion would be you've seen my feet.

You're not getting cheese off those babies. They are smooth as Riverstones. Smooth as Riverstones. So I would have to fake it, and I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. But I do love pet eggs. They're great. I love watching people at the airport using a pet egg, which I've seen before, watching them grate their feet.

It's a great way to wrap up this day stream. For those of you enjoyed this, I would like to invite you to the night stream. It's a little different, the night stream. It's not oppressed by the tyranny of Josh who has incredible, how many, his rulebook, I feel like I'm at a fucking HOA here The things you can say You won't let me say certain things that I want to say I'm completely censored because of his rules

I mean you can say what you want to say But you know there's consequences So do what you want to do You beat my ass You beat me up It's one of the things you can't say I'm just joking about that of course He doesn't fucking beat this shit out of me

If I curse too much on this show Or if I say certain things But the night's dream I'm free I'm free happens almost every night it might even happen tonight you could find it

it's going to be on this channel also come see my shows I'm coming to the fuck am I coming to Josh next week I'm going to be in Oklahoma let me see here

and Drew is sponsored by Biddy tarot card I found you Drew that's who's getting paid by by who Biday tarot yeah I guess he said Biddy

but I guess Biddy He can't spell Bidde. That's why he said Biddy. Badei tarot. Yeah. Fucking disgusting. You can find me on tour. Come hang out with me.

Oh, no, I'm going to be in Rosemont. Why did I think Oklahoma? That's next. I'm going to be in Rosemite, Illinois at Zanis, April 9th through the 11th. Kit tickets in advance. I had the great honor of selling out the Denver Comedy Works this last weekend. Thank you to all who came to those shows, by the way. Those were, I think that was my favorite weekend and all the time I've done

stand-up. April 16th, you can find me in Tulsa at the Bricktown Comedy Club. April 23rd, I'm going to be in Jacksonville, Florida at the Comedy Zone. Many, many more dates after that. Maybe too many dates. But you can find all the dates at Duncantrussel.com. Come see me live. Help support Operation Beast Blast.

meet your family in person. You never know. You could meet someone and make love to them that night. You never know. This has been a joy. I must sign out. Head on out. Head home and watch the incredible pre-show for the launch to the moon.

And then after that, I'm going to watch our president say that there's no more war in Iran. We did it. So a good day. And you made it that much better. Harry Krishna, God go with you. I'll see you on the night's dream. Goodbye.