Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 760: Matt McCusker

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

Matt McCusker, incredibly funny comic and co-host of Matt & Shane's Secret Podcast, re-joins the DTFH!For more about Matt, including all of his upcoming tour dates, check out his website: MattMcCusker.com.Austin family! Duncan is coming to the Comedy Mothership in Austin, TX, July 17-19. Don't sleep on this one, tickets are selling out fast! Click here to get yours now.Check out Mystery Boys with Duncan and Kurt Metzger on YMH Studios!This episode is brought to you by: Head to FactorMeals.com/duncan50off and use code duncan50off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch — delivering instant focus and mental clarity, without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use code DUNCAN to get 15% off at TakeUltra.com. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them our show sent you. Visit Amentara.com/go/DTFH and use code DUNCAN11 at checkout for 11% Off! Start low. Pay attention. It’s one of those things you dial in for yourself.

Greetings to you, my loves. This is the Douga Trussel Family Hour podcast, and today I have with us a shaman, the shaman. But before we get into that, I've got to do some housekeeping. Friends, why don't you check out my new podcast with the great Kurt Metzker, The Mystery Boys, which is now on YMH. Just look it up on YouTube. Links are down below. Even better, why don't you come see me at the Comedy Mother's Show?

coming up in July. Also, I'm going to be in Houston. All the dates are down below. I'm going to be the Milwaukee Improft, July 23rd to July 25th. Now, everyone, let's get this show on the road. With us here today is the co-host of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. He is an incredibly funny comic. I hope you'll come see him at the Mothership in July or the San Jose Improv in August. But first, listen to the singing. of the shaman. Everybody welcome, Matt McCusker, back to the DTFH. Let's do it.

Ready. Hold on, wait. Sorry, it's your podcast. You drum the table. I was over seven. No, no, no. I like it when the guests drum the table. Really?

Have you seen Love Island? Mm-mm. Oh, my God, dude. How is it? It is the most dystopian slop. Like, right when you, you know, it's that thing where you like to watch satanic garbage,

just to sort of marvel at the apocalypse. Yeah, yeah. And you always think it can't get lower than this. And then someone figures it out. That's Love Island. Really? It's the most soulless, vapid indictment of humanity that you've ever seen in your life. And it's not even bad good.

It's just bad bad. It's like watching cardboard or something. It's hard to explain how soulless it is. Yeah. So what is the actual premise? It's just their people have, do they have to like fall in? love with it? Like, they have to not fall, but they have to be like, are they like basically made to have sex and whoever doesn't have sex is out? They're not made to have sex. See, that would

make the show incredible if they were forced to fuck. That I would watch. Forced to fuck. Both people, by the way. Yeah, they consent, but they don't consent to who will be fucking. Force to fuck. They're just, yeah, they're down to fuck. And if you say no, you're out. That's all. So it's not, you know, you're out. You're just out. That's fair. But no, it's not that. It's, so basically they find a group of like incredibly symmetrical, beautiful women who are all like in their 20s who probably in a moral world would not be allowed at that age to participate in this because they, your brain hasn't finished developing. Yeah. As they say. But more just because at that age, when you're in your 20s, you don't know what you're doing.

Yeah. So, but they, they've been lured into this horrific trap where they then, like, have to date. There's so many different humiliations in this. But the initial humiliation is they have to do a choreographed dance at the beginning of the show. And then they interview each of them. And, you know, they're all varying degrees of like that narcissism of youth. They think they're going to live forever. They don't know they're going to get old.

They don't know what happens when the baby comes. they don't, they haven't, none of that has come to them yet. They're immortal beings. Yeah. That, that are immortal. And so everything they're saying is what an,

it would make sense if you were immortal. Yeah. But they're not. They're going to die. They're going to wither. They're going to get old. Their parents are going to die. All those things are coming their way.

So they're just like, I want a man who is as organized as I am and beautiful. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Can you turn my heads? So, dude, I don't... So then they get in there, and then there's these guy count...

The guy counterpart's same age, or they hit him with like... Oh, yeah, same exact thing. Yeah. And this episode is basically what happens is each of the guys goes to this circle. And then based on a sort of brief hangout, I think they made them all kiss each other. The women decide which guy they want to be... their partner during the show. Because of the kiss.

Yeah. And you realize how important. It's a seventh grade party. It is. 100%. It's a boy girl party. It's like it's seventh graders wrote the fucking show. Is what it feels like.

That's crazy. And this one though, it's like, you know, you always hear like women talk about. They want a guy six three, six four. They like tall dudes. Yeah. Like I guess tall guys for ladies are like big tits for guys. Thanks, y'all. I think that's a fair.

It's jugs. Yeah. So, um, this fucking beautiful, like, God, like black dude, he's giant. Just, just, you know, like, fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah. For getting to be that in this life. You bastard.

You look, you've never once been lonely. You don't know what it's like to go home from a bar alone. You have no idea. You're, you're, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, never struggle with that before and but he's not a dick the other problem is he's this very humble like he can be president he could be like so kind of yeah global king and so all the like three of the women all go to like all the women go to him and like you just see like oh i get it man yeah this is where how polygamy started and this is how like multiple wives started and all that stuff because like

look, why, why shouldn't, why shouldn't he have these ladies? Are they starting to fight and bicker amongst themselves for the, like, top role along this man? Low level. You know, it's that low. Really? So it's pretty, it's working out. It's the beginning of the show.

They got to seem, you know. And then the saddest part is this poor dude who's, they're all beautiful, but this guy's like five, six. And he's, but he's dressed like, he's wearing like a weird banana suit. But he's cool. Yeah. He's cool. but these standing in that circle alone.

And you're just looking at it. It's like, God, this is the primordial level of the universe, man. You got big jugs. You're a tall symmetrical dude. You live in an alternate reality. Welcome to the podcast, by the way. Dude, thank you. That's still, that's sad.

So the guy gets rejected on TV. And then for the women, if whoever doesn't get, like, the hottest, tallest, guy has to kind of get, like, kind of humiliated a little bit, because they're, like, losing a very, the ultimately personal battle, which is women. beauty. You're standing in a circle on a show in a banana suit with this

other dude swarming with ladies and then, but you do, everyone gets a lady. Like, you know, he could only pick one guy. The God man could only pick one lady. He picks one lady and then the other two are just sort of like paired off.

Yeah. And then that's how that's how. So you you're watching it. But I think I'm making it sound better than it is. I know what you mean, yeah. That's how I feel like if I ever,

when I would like go to the strip club, I would feel like I was like in some sub level of the human process where I was just kind of like, oh, fuck, dude, is this how things really work? You don't really just like, here's money. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah.

On one level, yeah, for sure. How much of it is like that and how much of it is just sort of coping and making up a story so that you don't have to admit you're an animal like all the other animal. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, this is the Hari Krishna dude, his divine grace, A.C. Bhakti Vedana Swami Prabapad said that, you know, the humans are, like animals are, they do three things. Eat, four things. Eat, sleep, mate, and defend. This is what animals spend their day doing. One of those things. You're doing one of those things if you're an animal. and humans also engage in those same four activities and the only time so if you're that's all you're

doing throughout your life fucking eating fighting people off sleeping you're an animal according to Prabapod the only time you stop being an animal is when you start connecting with God that's according to Prabapod animals are not engaged any kind of religious activities there, which would be awesome. That would be so sick. Yeah, dude, I think about that all the time. Especially if you're an animal, if you see a bigger animal, you're inherently afraid. You're like, fuck, this animal could kick my ass.

It's a bigger animal. Humans' bigness is like shot out across a bunch of dimensions that aren't related to size, but it's the same exact reaction where it's like, fuck, this guy has more stuff, or they have a cooler car, or they're more attractive. and that's why humans get like, I think the same visceral reaction as like a bacterium, seeing a bigger bacterium.

There's like, oh, no, and there's a point where you, and then usually it leads to being like, fuck that guy, that guy sucks. And it's just because you're like, I feel bad when I see you. That piece of shit. Yeah, yeah.

He doesn't deserve to be that. You see that fuckers mitochondria? But no, I think that's a huge thing. And it's just like as soon as you recognize it, I remember, because it's my inner monologue, I would walk through a grocery store and every single person I'd see, I'd either be like,

fucking piece of shit, look at that guy. See a tall hot guy, you're like, guy's probably fucking gay, fuck that guy. And I was like, why am I doing this? This is never ending. It's just all day long of me just being like, fuck that lady, what the fuck's up with that? That's one of my go-to responses

when I'm getting mobbed. Like, I, we were watching, we're watching the new House of Dragons. Is it out now? Oh, it's so good. Fuck, I want to, that was the show I was following. You know the, like, I don't know, the white-haired dragon lord do Damian or something? I know, yep, yep.

And I'm watching it with my wife, and of course, he's like, he's so hot. And like... Why do they do that? First thing that popped in my head that I wanted to say that I didn't was he's gay. Trust me. That guy's gay as fuck. That's the best... Well, that's the front line defense against hot actors.

Every time I'm like, yeah, this guy's fucking gay. He's a fucking famous British actor. Good luck with you never get him. That's number two. Thank you. Thank you. I can't wait for the next episode to come out. Oh, yeah.

I'm going to have that one in the quiver. Yeah, I just be like, yeah, dream all. Oh, please. He would even look at you. He would even see you. He might kill you if he saw you. He might just have an instinctual response. That is a good thing to be like, honestly, if that, if there was a circumstance that arose

where you'd either have sex with you or kill you, he might choose to kill you. He might kill you. So he didn't have to have sex with you. So, yeah. If you want to get personal. You'd be in the circle on Love Island. But all those things, I guess, are like the human equivalent of like, you know, you go, you see a chihuahua. They're so fucking cute.

Yeah. But they're so mean. They're so mean. So you always want to touch a chihuahua because they're so cute. But you get close in there. Yeah. That's our version of that, I guess, right? Like, he's fucking gay.

You would never fuck you. Yeah. That's the snarl. The animal snarl coming out. It's so true. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. And so, yeah, I think on one level, the nihistic view is, you can't argue with it.

But then you don't have to be an animal. Yeah. No, that's true, man. That is, I think it does, and that's why I feel bad for the Love Island guys. If you're 20 and you're like, I'm going to be famous, oh, and there's no foresight or being like, yeah, this could be potentially humiliating. Most likely will be. Yeah. And then, yeah, but as you get older, it is nicer as you start shedding a lot of the animal stuff or you just kind of like, whatever, man.

It's just so much, I don't know. I like, I'm so happy to get older. I love, I love getting older. I do too. It's the fucking best. Getting older rules. I always try to tell my wife, I'm like, no, getting older is sick. Yeah.

At least for a guy. How many kids you have? Two. You have two kids. I think that's part of it. I think getting older minus kids, it could be a, it can, it can get lonely and dark. Yeah. Because you're sort of staking your future on, I want to think Factor for supporting.

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until September 27th, 2026. See their website for more details. Freedom, basically, the sense of this is what freedom is. I think you don't even know what freedom is until you have kids. That's the problem. Because then I was awash in freedom. I would be like, I'm fucking bored. What the fuck am I going to do?

And if I have a half an hour free, I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm going to lay in a bed. On the road. And you get in that hotel room, that womb of silence. Yeah. I was like, tell me what like a typical Philadelphia day for you was, like prior to becoming a breeder.

What would you do? My day? Yeah, one of these days of freedom. What would you do? Dude, I'm a weird case because I had, because I used to sell weed. Just kidding to my life insurance policy. I was there to ask about that. But, yeah, just kidding, obviously love insurance.

But yeah, so I had a, from a young age, I was like free time rich. And it was weird at first. because I was like, I would, you know, I was always just had a work or I was going to school and working and blah, blah, blah. And so I kind of, dude, I would wake up, I mean, I was the ultimate time wasteer. I would wake up, I don't even know what I did. I would, you know, I'd be texting people like, hey, and I would, like, run little weed errands here and there. But for the most part, I had, I would, like, I would, like, just walk my dogs.

I just would do, I didn't even have hobbies. I'm, like, trying to think, I didn't play video games. I don't know what I did. Wow. I would just kind of just, like, look at weed and be like, damn, that looks nice. and I'd bring it to my house and I'd drive around all nervous and like so I had a lot of free time

that luckily I would do stand-up at night that was like the thing that I was doing and kind of thinking about but I might a day in the life before kids was really like wake up 11 o'clock and run a couple

I always call them running errands I would just drive around do stuff chill eat go for walks I would like write on my laptop I'd abandon 40 million novels and just like literally dick off so hard that I can't even fathom it anymore.

How did you get into not selling wheat? The podcast. The podcast started doing well enough. No, I mean, like I have to say not selling YouTube talk. Oh, right, right. I'll pretend fun selling wheat. You know what it was? I was in a senior year of high school, and I remember I like, because you know, like we're younger just like there's people who have weed and you're like,

yeah, sure, I'll smoke weed with you. And they're like, all right, I need money now. And you're like, how much is this stuff? And they're like, $45 for. and eighth and I was like, book. That's like a whole day of work for me. I can't do it. Like I used to get paid 60 bucks.

Those are, what year was that? This would have been, uh, what did you? Did I graduate high school? I graduated high school 2004. Okay. So those are 2004 prices. Yeah. Because you know you, it's weird.

Like I still have high school drug menus in my head. Like, hit of acid, five bucks. Quarterback, 35, 40 bucks. 55 for an 8th. Yeah. That is fucking, do you think that's Philadelphia or do you think we just got more expensive? Weed, no, weed was way more expensive.

Maybe I'm misremembering. No, no, hold on. No, a quarter, depending on what grade weed was it, though. Was it Bisters? Fucking Hendersonville, North Carolina, weed. This was just crap. Fucking raccoon fur and old sticks. So it was just swag.

It was just swag. It was just a swag. Oh, unbelievably. Okay, it was swag. So that was the hot eyes and headache weed where you just, like, you. Seeds popping. That you could get for cheap. That stuff was like, that's always been pretty cheap.

But so there was swag. My older brothers only ever, you know, they bravely went before me and they were just sweat, like tinfoil training day weed. It was just like disgusting. And then when I was in high school, it was Beasters, which were like they were from, they're called Beasters. They were from BC, like British Columbia. And they were like before all the nice, like, headies, what came later, they were

like pretty low THC, but they were like, nice round little buds that smelled like, hey, they had no scent to them whatsoever. They just smelled like literally straw. But you got them. I was like, dude, look at those beasters. And there was triple A beasters where you'd be like, bro, I got some triple A's. Oh, wow. It's all just bullshit. Yeah, yeah.

But that was, I was getting beasters, which were like low grade, what you could go, let's say medical grade weed for like you see in a dispensary. It was like that, but you didn't really see crystals on it, but it actually had a nug. Yeah. As opposed to just like the chaotic mess of swag. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I remember when we, you know, every once in a while you would come upon beasters, which we were just like, you would, it's like a UFO landed.

They were fucking wet. They're always wet too. Yes. Moist and dried them out. Probably don't fucking care. It was one or the other. Get them the fuck out of here. Just get them the fuck out.

Well, the water weight makes up a lot. So if you don't cure it all the way, now it's like a pound of wheat. The ounce would be like that be. Dude, that was, because, you know, back then, we got to put it in perspective. man. We're talking like before legalization. Yeah. Weed was a whole different animal back. Oh, yeah. It was crazy.

It was, you had to actively search for it. You remember when droughts would come? Oh, yeah. Every summer's a summer bummer. That's why when you were waiting, you were waiting for the growers. Everything was, most of it ended up started coming from like California. So you had to let them finish. And then everyone towards before summer was like, or during summer was all the old shit from like a year and a half ago.

And then that would just finally run out. And then everyone was just waiting for that new out to, were cut. See, you were more sophisticated in your weed consumption than we were in Hendersonville because we didn't know anything. I dude, it took a long time. There's a drought. What happened? That's what was going on. And a lot of the growers take vacation before they start the new year. So yeah, the summer bummer was the worst. The worst. It was just moldy, shitty, shitty weed. It was horrible. The droughts and the... They're bad. And so back then,

high times magazine seemed edgy. Like if somebody had a copy of High Times, like, whoa dude like this shit's illegal yeah you crazy and you could order seeds from the back and you'd be like oh my god oh my god because that was weirdly it was legal yeah to order seeds which is so odd fucking crazy so odd it well you know if you get conspiratorial about laws like that it's clear why they're there because let them grow it let them sell it let them make so much money buy a nice house and cars and then you get to take the house in the cars. It's like,

it's perfect. That's perfect. Especially for the net, you know, it's like it's like black tar heroin. It's like, yeah, let them grow weed and we'll come.

And the guy, the sentencing guidelines are hilarious for growing because it's like between one and 50 plants, 50 and 100. So if you grow one or two plants, you might as well grow like 45. You're going to get the same sentence for the most part. And I think they can like weigh them because they,

yeah. So, but yet the sentencing from growing weed was crazy for in terms of like the level of plants and stuff. All of the drug laws are still insane. It's just, just, Just old people who, like, have no idea what the drugs are. Like, you should have to, like, take the drug before you come up with a sentence for the drug.

I think that's fair. Yeah. And I remember someone I know selling, like, weed brownies at a festival, and the cops just weighed the tray of brownies and just were like, yeah, you had, like, seven pounds of weed. And they got fucking fried. Just fucking. They got crushed. Same with LSD. Like, LSD, they weigh the paper.

And LSD is so potent that you add the paper. and you've got like a swimming pool worth of LSD, like enough to like get New York high for a decade. Well, they were sending people to jail for LSD for like 15 years. They were killing people for that. Life sentences. Yeah. So, okay.

So I'm interested in this, like you're sort of wandering weed dealer days. Because now, look at you. You're like super motivated, man. You got kids. you got one of the best podcasts out there with Shane. You're making cartoons, writing books, and you got a substack. Yeah, I'm trying to get the substack going. I took it down to like redo it.

Oh, you took it down. Well, it's coming back up. I wanted to like, substack reached out to me. Stokes stack. Stoke stack. It's going. I'm like trying to like, I'm trying to use that to make me, like, give me basically a writing deadline that I always have looming over my head.

Yeah, that's smart. So that's the whole point of that. So I'm going to like take all of the stuff I have and like put a, get a nice little back catalog so that way I can kind of like not be just like completely getting crushed by like the deadline. So I have a little bit of a buffer. When we've talked about writing, you have told me you're working on a Western.

Is that what you're putting on your substack? Is it fiction? It's going to be a mix. It's going to be. So I want to have it as like essays on books I'm reading. I always, I like to read books. And from what I gather,

there's a lot of people who like to like at least just like, only books that I think are good. going to be like, this book sucks, and then it'd be turning into like a critic, but basically this book was cool. Here's a synopsis about it, why I thought it was cool. Here's some thoughts on it, you know, a quick 700 word thing. So it's going to be kind of like book synopsises, random essays, and then like just bullshit, almost like proto stand-up material while I'll just write, like, free write, just bullshit, hopefully's entertaining. And then I'll have a little fiction section too. So I'm going to have just like a one-stop shop of just everything I'm working

on. Yeah. The fiction I'll release in little like snippets to be like, here, here's an excerpt from this thing. stand-up material idea. I do think that's the best way to write jokes is just to free write. I think when you sit down and try to write a joke, it's like always bad. It's terrible. I might as well have like a jeans and a blazer on a turtle. Like I can't.

I have to just like, I just like writing. I just like writing. That's the thing. I like writing. I like, I think about writing stand-up, I get like a rash. I'm like, oh. Oh, it's awful. You'll never do it.

It's the worst feeling ever. And if you do do it, it's, you know, people, every once in a while I'll check in with like chat GPT and have it write a joke. Mm-hmm. And I've been doing that now for a while. And only once did I ever try a joke it wrote on stage just out of curiosity. Yeah, yeah. It was a remotely okay joke.

Mm-hmm. But boy, ugh. Yeah. It ate shit. Yeah, it can't. You can also trick chat GBT by being like, here's a joke idea and it give it total nonsense. And it'll be like, fire. and you're like, that actually doesn't make sense.

Slab in the knob. You're actually, you're a fucking dumbass. It makes no sense. It's like the most evil friend you could have. Just a sink of a fan. Like, fire, man, amazing. Take it to the stage. You're an edgy dark.

And it's like, all right, man. Dude, in our vows when I got married, in the vows, do not tell me something's funny if you don't think it's funny. Because if your fucking wife starts trying to make you happy by lying you about whether something's funny and you're, you're dead meat. Yeah. And you know what this translates into? My wife doesn't laugh that much of me.

Although sometimes, I have a similar tough critic wife about jokes, but sometimes I'll say something that she'll just go, I watch her shoulders drop and she'll be like, fuck, fuck off. She'll get pissed. And I'm like, fuck, yeah, that's funny. That's going to work. Sometimes I know if she gets like furious, I'm like, that's good. That's going to be a good.

You're changing my life. I'm subscribing to your substack, man. I swear to God, you're changing my life. Stokes stack. Stoke stack. I'm in. Already two things. Two beautiful marriage tips, man.

That's incredible. Yeah, you got to piss her off every now and again. Oh, yeah. You got it. Dude, I love it. I love it. I dig in. When she's in a mood, I just dig in.

Just quietly and almost like, if her vibes low, I go so, like, annoyingly high vibe, high energy and just hover around her until she's like what am I doing oh yeah what the fuck dude I'm fucking chill it's like it's a sick pleasure but I love it oh that's you know that's like that's like next next that there should be a law against yeah it should be it's really fun criminal that's it's I'm an energy vampire a little bit I can be a little bit of an energy vampire aren't all I'm being honest aren't all comedians yeah I think so aren't we just a like laugh vampire like we're absorbing energy.

Like, you want it, ideally it's a symbiotic relationship. Yeah. You know, it's when it becomes parasitic. And you can always tell the comedians where it's a parasitic relationship

because they're like that with everything. Yeah. If you forget, like, you're not there to get jerked off by the audience's adulation, like loving you. Yeah, yeah.

It's, that's, they're buying tickets to jerk you off. Yeah, that's true. Incredible if that was a, So fucking awesome. That's the good life of the guy on Love Island, dude. Yeah, that is, that was a big switch for me in stand-up, just being like, dude,

let me just try to have these guys, you know, these guys have a good time. As much as, you're like, it's just a hacky, bro. And I'm like, I don't really care, honestly. Yeah. If these guys have fun, it's like a revolt or like a mental reversal where it's kind of like, exactly what you're saying. Like, dude, they didn't come here tonight to be like, I'm prepared to have my mind blown by this one out of 40 fucking comics and 5,000, you know,

yes, uh, showcases is like, just let them try to make them have fun. Oh, yeah. And it takes so much weight off you where you're just like, oh, I'm having a good time. Yeah. So it's, it's a form of like healthy surrender, right? Yeah. Because it's like, like, well, it seems like a phase of comedy is you start thinking you're like the Oppenheimer of jokes or something.

Yeah. Like what? I know. You're, you're, it makes me laugh so hard when I hear, when I hear it, when it's just like, I'm just doing like something totally. It's like, dude, it's a cheap bar trick. You're doing a, you're a vaudeville cheap bar trick. And it's fun.

It's a good thing. But yeah, when it gets into like, I'm just hit it like, I'm next level. It's like, all right, dude. Shut up. You see it in their bodies. They carry that. They carry this like completely unnecessary weight. It's like what?

Yeah. It's, you're slightly cooler than a magician as a comedian, in my opinion. Yeah. And that's arguable. Yeah. That's hard. You can debate that. You're a little bit cooler than a magician with like a wrapped car being like, I do parties.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is debatable too. Magicians, yeah, they could. They could, yeah. It's close. I had this, this magician was doing the matinee show.

Holy shit. It was in Philadelphia. Really? Yes. I love Philadelphia. I want to talk about that in a second. So it was in Philadelphia. you look up ass magic

Josh I can't remember his name I think it's Jack This dude does ass magic What? Oh yeah Oh not with a K

Oh hey dude That's how you're trying to summon Dimmies where that fuck That's house are rolling Sorry What was it That's it That's it

That's it That's magic Look it up Oh wait go back What came up Skin repair What Okay hold on

Jack Gray There is pull that up. Jack Grady. Ignore the fucking ass wash and cream. Jack Grady, ass magic. He got kicked off. He's of America's Got Talent faster than anyone ever has in the history of the show. Why? You know what?

Let's show it, but we can't show it on the thing, but we could just watch it just so you get an idea. And I'm just using this as like, I don't know, man. I could argue this guy's cooler than most comics. Look up ass magic, Jack Grady, like Overlook Hotel, G-R-A-D-Y, Jack Grady. That was his name, right? Grady in the other? I thought it was great.

It was G-R-A-T-E. Yeah, whatever. Grady. Here we go. There is. Jack Grady. But look up Jack Grady. America's Got Talent.

Oh, me sure. You ever buy magic tricks for your kids? No. They fucking suck every time. My kid's been doing, trying to do magic tricks on me recently. It's been really fun. Here he goes.

Watch how quickly gets thrown off. Yep. That's, Oh, wait, now. Oh, that's him. That's him. Not in this situation. Eight years old, I was watching TV.

I saw Chris Angel. Yeah, yeah. We take a bottle. This is it. Wait, no, man. Go to that. Find the actual one. Becomes a glass.

No offense, Jack, if you're watching this, but I love this dude. But I just want to... No, whenever you see, here's the video. Here we go. I think this is it. We take a bottle. Becomes a glass. Where'd it go?

No, it's in my... That's amazing. That's a fucking Jesus, dude. Me now. Man. Yeah. He's great. That's awesome.

So, but, okay, to get back, maybe I'm trying to do too much of an interview, not a podcast. I'm just curious, because you've become like a juggernaut, man. Like, you are, just, you know, anytime a dad is, like, doing anything, you're like, whoa, that's amazing. But you're, you got a lot of plates spinning, man. So what happened? You know what it was?

I, like, okay, so if I went all the way back to the answer way back when it was like, you know, I'd had jobs in high school and I was like, they're in high school, they're bad jobs. And I go, fuck, this shit sucks, dude. And then I, so I'm like. What were the jobs? I'm sorry. It was mostly construction-type jobs, which when I was younger, it was kind of sick because it was mainly, like, I would, like, throw rocks into, like, a machine bucket in front of my uncles.

And they were like, come on, get it. I'm like, yeah, fuck, shit. Yeah. So that was fun. But that was, like, kind of brutal work. And then it was, like, ice cream place. I worked in a candy shop in the mall, pool company. Like, it just sucked.

Like, I remember just being like, damn, this is fucking hard. Mall candy shop? I was in the mall candy stand for a little bit. What, do you remember the name of it? Scoop two nuts. Funny enough. Scoop two, T-O. Nuts.

So this wasn't even a store This was like one of those A kiosk in the middle Yeah, it was a candy kiosk opera Did they make you like you like There's them all around here where they like They'll yell I didn't have to do anything

I just chilled I would just chill and kind of read books And then they would come up I remember I got that job I got grounded for a month for drinking And then I was like fuck I might as well go get a job And I just went and got the candy shop job

So I would at least get out of my house While I was grounded and make money How'd you hear about the job? Walking, I was just in the mall And I used to like apply for jobs and walk around. And that place had just only, it was only female employees. Yeah. So it's just babes. And I walked by

and I was like, you guys hiring? And the manager was like, yeah, actually we're hiring somebody. And yeah, it was like a whole thing. But yeah, I got, I got hired there. Wow. That's a, well, that's cool. It was awesome. It was cool. That's cool. It's me and babes and I was stealing money from the register the whole time. Everyone was. Yeah. That guy was like, how's

this happening? I don't understand. I didn't take anything until the I was working, the lady who hired me was a sweat equity partner who was working for these two guys who owned it and she was supposed to be an owner. Once they fucked her over, they basically like, you know, were like, yeah, whatever, you're out. And they didn't honor their thing. They were saying she was going to do. She was running it for them. She told me that and was like, I'm going to be out of here. The dudes came in and they were fucking dickheads. And that's when I was like, okay, now I'm, I'm going to take.

I don't think shitty bosses understand how much it's costing them to be shitty. Because that's giving your employer raise. Like when you're being shitty to them, you're basically like, go ahead and pay yourself whatever you want because all loyalty, honor, goes out the fucking window. Add just like a brief introduction to Carl Marx. Forget it. You're going to get fucking

raw. Especially now. Yeah, you're done, dude. You're going to get, they're going to be, and they're like, they're like a prisoner essentially where they have all day to just scheme and they can see the inner workings. And it's like, especially me, I would sit. And it's like, if I like the boss, This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by my friends at Ultra Pouches.

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Why don't you try not doing that for the lesson? And, you know, in my mind, it's like, what are you talking about? You want me to start sobbing during the lesson? But she's like, a lot of people do way better without nicotine in their system when they're working on piano. I tried it. She was right. As it turns out, and I only know this now because this is what they want me to read in the ad. Nicotine is a vaso constrictor.

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Please, for the love of God, support our show and tell them our show sent you. A complete Boy Scout. I would like, hey, this, that, completely straight up and honest. As soon as I detected some shittiness, I would just literally be like, I'll destroy this place. I will do everything I can to sink. I was 17. I was like, I'll sink this fucking place.

And, you know, I'd make like 60 bucks out of it and be like, dude, they're probably fuck now. But the, so it really like, I had like a, you know, answer to go all the way back. It was like, I remember buying weed and be like, damn, this weed's fucking expensive. And then I remember being like, I have a lot of friends that smoke weed. So I just was like, hey, do you guys want any weed? Because I was going to get an eighth.

And they were like, yeah, actually. And so I just ordered it. I took a lot of orders. and I went and got an ounce, and I went, huh, I got a quarter ounce weed for free. And then something clicked. And I was like, that's really nice. And then I just started like, what if I bought a quarter pound?

And, you know, I just slowly did that until it turned into this big thing years later. That's your first introduction to like the magic of capitalism. That's your first introduction to like the basics of being an entrepreneur. And how insane it is that you could just, if you have the capital, you can buy shit cheap. I'm doing lemonade stands with my kids to try to teach in this backroom's lemonade. That's the theme is the backroom. So it's like we have this fucked up weird painted sign.

Shit. Because my kid, like, ah. It's going backroom lemonade. Yeah, backroom's lemonade. How's it going? We've only, you know, on our launch, it did great. But it's like, you know, everybody, it's people are just so sweet. They want the kids to like learn business, but they're not teaching them business at all.

Because like they come, they're like, I'm going to, I'll buy five glasses. And then they give them like 20 bucks. I know. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, this is how it fucking works. I did a lemonade stand with my cousin when I was like younger. And my older brother, our older brothers, the Seattle older brothers as well, went up the street and then put their own sign up saying like support, either put like Nazis or the KKK lemonade stand.

So people just drive five. That's hilarious. Jerks. You know, some places... I don't know if they actually did that or they were just teasing us, but I still have it in my head. I got to ask. It's a great idea. It's very funny.

It's very funny. I have so many fucking ideas like that. I have so many terrible ideas like that that... You could if you get a kid, yeah, to be like sport, you know. Yeah, but... Antifa terror, so... Oh, God. Antifa lemonade is incredible.

Black Block lemonade. A black block lemonade. Some fucking anarchist. liars in the front. Yeah. But that was the, so that was kind of the thing. And then that led to,

you know, I went to, I still, it was hard to get it right, though. Like, it's, it's harder to,

like, make money selling weed. Like, you think like, oh, you just do it. You make a bunch of money. It was very difficult at first.

I didn't have a digital, I think, it's very risky. And, uh, so when I went away to college, that's when I could really, like, all right,

I have my own place. I can find it. You went to Brim Mar. No, that was, that was for my master's later on. I went to Drexel. Okay, okay. My bachelor's was at Drexel. Yeah, I did Drexel. And that's when I was, I had my, this Indian guy front of me an ounce of like really shitty.

I was back to like the middies. It was called like, in between Shwag and Beasters. He was getting me for like $400 an ounce on middies. And I had no scale. So I had to eye everything out. That was not profitable. But that's how I kind of learned everything. What would you say, like if you had to guess, and obviously this is improv and it's none of this is real. and you're a really good improv. For sure. For sure. Thank you. So natural.

But if you just, I mean, how much do you think total you netted from your business? I would say if I had to just like fuck around and make something up. Yeah, make it out, obviously. I mean, dude, it was 14 years. So towards, there was peaks where it was like 4K a week. When I got good at it, just net. And then it, like, kind of settled out to, like,

I probably made just, like, $150, $200 a year for a while there. Josh, will you over this part for real? Will you flash? This is improv. These are trained improv actors doing a bit. But, yeah, I had a long stretch, dude. I had a long, long stretch. Hold on a second.

I bottomed out a couple times, though, where I would lose everything. Hold on. I'm sorry, I forgot my next line. Whoa, dude, that's so much money. Damn, that's incredible. It gave me an incredible amount of freedom as I was younger. And, like, my wife always laughs to me because whenever people were like, back then, they'd be like, I hate my job. I'm like, quit your fucking, just quit. Who cares?

Because I would also have jobs. I would get jobs when, like, things would slow up. I'd lose like a major customer. I'd be like, fuck. I would get a job, work the job. And then I'd try to find out who smoked weed. And I would start selling them. we did the job and then once I had my customers

are going back I would leave the job. And I was like a little fucker man. That's a good business plan. That's so smart. It was kind of nice. Yeah, it's it's really is fascinating to me that in the world like it's especially

oh I don't know what it's like living out of the place. I only lived in America but here it's odd because you get this sense that like there's this sort of like I don't know people you what you're talking about is available to anyone kind of at any time if you can get the capital together even if you can't you can still get fronted too you can get fronted which was

dangerous that was we tried that in hendersonville to get fronted these dumb ass kids one of our shit friends was like no man he's going to front us a key and we're like really do you know what we made like at least three different trips up to charlotte to get this mythical fucking kilo that some psycho would have given to a bunch of grubby fucking drug-addled mountain stoners. Definitely wouldn't,

they would have killed us. But we never got it. So we failed in that pursuit. Yeah, it's tough. You need, yeah, it's a... You need credit. I mean, you need some kind of credit. Like how, if I'm fronting weed

to somebody like... Start small. Well, the thing is, is like, you go, all right, I can, if they don't, here's an ounce. I'm getting pounds of weed. I can front these guys an ounce to kind of feel them out and if they pay me back on an ounce, you go, okay, like, because I would honestly,

dude, maybe like 15% of people can successfully get an ounce of weed front it and not smoke at all. 85% of people, if you front them, and I've learned this, obviously, kidding around their experience, they'll smoke it all. And they'll go, fuck, man, I'm so sorry, dude, what fucking boy are supposed to pay you? So there's a very small percentage of people that can do it.

Pull up the, Google the tin crack commandments so we can just run it by you. and you could verify these. Not the... I mean, just... I want the commandments. There's got to be a poster of the... Clear.

Just go to image search. Okay, yeah, there you. Just pull up the lyrics. Fuck it. I'm sure there's like a dumb poster. Blah, but, but keep going. Okay, here we go. Let's go up to...

Okay, rule number one, never let no one know how much dough you hold. Is that true? Well, the worst thing about it is, it's like, you know, so you become a pathological liar because you have to. You have to lie to every single person you meet

because you can't be like, exactly if you tell people first of all you can't tell anyone whenever you get it for because then that you're you know you're up to me you can technically just be like here's what I charge you and but people start to fucking fight about that right so you're you become like you can't tell anybody you can't let people know what you're netting or just very minimal people or just how much money do you have or what you have because that that is true especially more so though because I I was around Drexel so I was dealing more with college students that was chill but then I would kind of like bump up against like real inner city drug dealers and like dude you would I knew multiple people that

would be outside with like, you know, guys from North Philadelphia, West Philly. And they were like, yeah, man, we sell weed to like college kids. And they would get home to date it, like right away. Right. Had multiple times. Where would you keep your dough? Where did you keep it? I at first was just always under your bed.

And then eventually you can get like storage units and shit and kind of like hit the storage unit. Did you ever listen like when you were running weed around? Did you ever listen to the tag? Oh, listening to VRAP when you're selling anything, doing anything illegal, it's for real. so tight. I can't imagine how cool that is. It's so fucking sick.

It's, you feel like the ultimate main character. It's like the ultimate main character sickness where you're just kind of like, dude, they're basically talking about me. Yeah, like having an ounce of Coke on you for sale

and listening to Beanie Siegel was like peak experience. Wow. Yeah. So tight. Wow. It's so cool. EDM and ecstasy.

Yeah. Exactly. It goes together. But it's so dumb because you're like, you're, you know, you're kind of larping in a sense where it's like,

you know, you're like from the suburbs, or mostly in the suburbs. It's a pretty I was like a furry almost in a sense I was larping pretty hard Yeah But the

But still it's dangerous It is dangerous I got robbed a couple times Let's go to number two I think that does actually bring us to number two Never let them know your next move Don't you know bad boys move That's great reading this

Like don't you know bad boys move in silence Or violence Take it from your highness I done squeeze mad clips At these cats For they bricks and chip and chips. Did you move in silence? Relatively.

This is the word? I'm so sorry. No, no. I, uh, no, relatively. That's the thing. You become, you become a recluse because you're like, and dating becomes a nightmare because then you meet a girl.

Right. And you're like, you gotta slowly by degrees be like, here's kind of what I'm up to. And then if that goes south, you go, oh, I have a bitter enemy right now who knows all my deepest. No, that is a cop. Yeah, true. That was another stage of it.

My wife became a cop eventually. Which brings us to number three. Never trust nobody. Your mom will set that ass up. So you're paranoid. You go into a stick. You're paranoid. You think everybody's watching you all the time.

It's like fucks up. You're nervous. Actually, I would say it's really bad for it. It's like a bad life. When you're younger, it's the same as Love Island. Like, this is going to be so sick. And then you do it. You're like, this is a sad, brutal life.

Well, it's like day trading. Yeah. It's fucking sucks. You just sit and like sit in front of it. Oh God. Jesus. You're always checking your stupid Robinette account. That is funny.

The thing, you're like, this would be so sick if I could become, I did the same thing. Like, dude, becoming a day trader would be so sick. You're like, this fucking sucks. I'm guessing this goes all the way up to the billionaire life. You know, I'm guessing that, like, everyone's like, why are they like that? Why don't they just retire or anything? It's like they can't. They can't.

Their amygdalas are permanently in a state of deep getting chased by a tiger level stress. Oh, yeah. They're constantly thinking about millions of lives. lives, they're supporting, they're just, they're totally frazzled. I'm sure Bezos shit's blood. If I had to guess, no matter how many, he probably like recycle it back into his body, though. He has a technology where it just comes out because it's in a little clear tube and back into his neck.

You're 100, dude, I think you're 100% right. And it's also like, imagine being famous for money specifically. You know, it's not like a skill, I mean, it's, you know, there's skills of acquiring it, but it's like, that's a weird one, man, where you're like, I'm famous for money, not like, you know, dancing or, it's just like, I make so much fucking money. There's money in my fucking family that goes back to like before the French Revolution and I've expanded it and it's like, it's weird. You need a whole staff just to like do your banking. And you've broken so many laws.

You do whatever you want. You've done so many vile things or you're friends with people who have done vile things. And that girlfriend feeling, you've got. So many people around you who know where the bodies are. And so you just live in this perpetual state of like any second the fucking sword is going to drop. And I'm dead. Like I'm going to get skewer. Oh, you have friends that could like wield the power of the state against you.

And you're like, oh, fuck. That's so scary. Friends in the fucking Supreme Court, they get annoyed with you. They can pass a law. Yeah, who's the guy that's going to jail for Trump? I always forget his name. He's white hair Bolton maybe. Oh, yeah, yeah.

This just happened, right? It's so funny. Like, I was watching him. I'm like, well, first of all, he's not really going to jail, I don't think. Who's the guy going to jail for Trump? You're going to get like 100 names. Yeah. It's his big white, bushy eyebrows.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there he is. John Bolton. Bolton agreed to a plea deal to one felony count of a legal retention of classified national security information. Yeah, they were just, you know, buzzing around. fucking drinking coniac smoking cigars and they're like dude you're going to jail like oh fuck but this is

I just read about this look up guy goes to jail guy finds gold like this treasure hunter this dude I guess you don't have to look it up guy finds guy finds treasure and goes to jail instead of revealing it

oh really this is really interesting he did the right he did he was right it was like $5 million dollars um i don't know it doesn't matter but i just read about this this dude five maybe it is thompson i don't think that's him basically this guy found five million dollars in gold i don't know pirate treasure some shit and i guess when you find treasure it belongs to the

state which is bullshit and he decided not to give the treasure to the state and uh and he did yeah i guess It wasn't Tommy Thompson. It's not, I don't know. I read it on fucking Instagram. But somebody did this. Yeah, and he decided to go to jail for five years instead of telling where the gold was. Because it's like, go to jail,

you're going to make a million dollars a year, tax-free income. And then it's your $5 million. You just have to do five years. And he did it. Oh, they want to put it in like the Smithsonian, basically, or just be like, it's just ours. This is our shit.

Yeah, it's theirs. If you find treasure, I think, you have to... That makes sense. Treasure does belong essentially to like the highest Oh, that is Tommy Thompson. Chos to spend, oh, 10 years in federal prison rather reveal the location of the gold, which is...

Multi-million dollar waiting room. So funny. But, you know, I, like, with anyone going to jail for Trump, I guarantee on the other side of that is a fortune. And so there's like, yeah, I just have to fucking... Oh, he didn't get the fucking gold bank on.

What? Oh, well, it's saying they remain missing. He's not allowed to touch them. Well, wait, he's got the fucking gold. Oh, they... ordered them, they sued them basically for $19 million. Oh, the court system, the FBI and his original investors have mechanisms in place to ensure that if the gold ever resurfaces, it will be immediately seized.

Oh, please, melt that shit down. Just go in your garage, melt that shit down. You could sell, that's ridiculous. If he tries to sell even a single one of the 500 missing coins, the rare coin market is so tightly monitored. Just melt down the gold. Yeah, I think, I'm sure he figured something out. He definitely figured something out.

I hope he did. we should hunt for the gold. He's going to jail for it. I mean, it does belong to the king, a treasure. Whoever rules America, you can't just have treasure. Dude, I hate that law, though. Not that I'm ever going to find gold, but it's always bothered me.

It's like, what? There's supposedly, look up the gold trove in Austin. There's a supposedly treasure in Austin. Really? You're not allowed to dig for it, because so many people know about it, they're ripping up fields and stuff. Yeah.

What gold I mean yeah this was the Wild West There's probably all kinds of weird things of Not a gold mine It's like what just look up Undiscovered treasure Austin Probably some stupid thrift store will come up Undiscovered treasure

Austin in Austin Yeah Shoal Creek treasure Gold worth up to three million dollars While digging in city parks is illegal Local history enthusiasts Dating back to the 1830s Alleged claims a massive mex

Mexican army payroll was stolen and buried near the creek. In the 1890s, a story sparked gold fever, driving residents like Travis County Treasure, A.G. Jernigan to illegally dig up the banks. Another tale claims Confederate troops buried 80,000 gold coins near Shoal Creek. So there's all these like... Yeah. Everyone used to do that. All the criminal bank robbers back then would rob a bank bury all their money and like

chill for like three months and then come back to town, dig it up at night and leave. So that way you didn't get caught with the money and it would like kind of died down. Didn't Carlos Monsea just do that? They, they had 30, didn't he have like 30? What did he do? Didn't pay taxes. Oh, how do you have? Yeah, I don't know why people think you can get, you can never get away with that.

Can't get away with that. Especially if you're high profile, they're going to come, they're definitely going to get that. Yeah, they're definitely going to get it. Like, and yeah, they can't even joke about selling weed, you know. I'm getting attacked from a life insurance company. You can't. You're just calculating like. Your wife is going to be like, why did our life insurance go up?

Joked about selling wheat. Oh, man. Oh, my God. And they're going to put those. Oof. It's the district attorney, so there's some new law that they, and they're using him as the example. Oh, bro. That sucks.

They start hitting you with interest on that, too. Oh, dude. Apparently, though, if the IRS comes after you, you can get on a payment plan and just pay the minimum amount. And after so many years, it just, it goes away. Yeah. But it sucks because you have, you know, they're on your ass all the time. But also, I think it sort of depends on. on like what you have.

Yeah. You know what I mean? If you have a bunch of stuff, they'll take it. Yeah, I think they do this just a quick calculation, which is like, what are we going to make more money from? Like a payment plan or just taking all of this dude shit. They did that with Mincea and they're like, take a shit. Oh, fuck.

I forgot about that. They just like give us your house. Yeah, they could do that. Yeah, the guy, I knew a dude who was doing it, but he was just like rent in a place. He kept a pretty low key. Yeah. And he got nailed. He like, he like, bought a fucking airplane.

Whoops. They were like, what the fuck? And they just nailed them. Yeah. Now he had to do everything. His whole, for years, had to be all under the table. Everything was under the table, under the table, under the table. And then one day he was getting ready to pay.

He was like, I got to give him one more payment because he would let it lapse and they got to come find you again and start it all over. He did it for years. And he was going to go pay, make a big chunk one day. And he found out about that law from someone he knew, like where it just has to end at a certain point. And it was just, it was over. Oh, wow. So he was like, thank God I didn't pay them. He was about to give another big substantial thing.

Wow. That must have been the best feeling on earth. He did. He said it was one of them by the... And he went on. This was like a decade of this, dude. It just never stopped, left alone. God, it's terrible.

They got him so bad, too. Yeah. He was being such a bad boy. Yeah, they know everything. I know. Especially now. Everything's on their cell phone and they have your location.

Everything. You can't do anything now. No. That was the thing, too. I was pre-smart phone. And I remember pre-smartphone into kind of smartphone era and just, like, you're just bugging out about like, damn, dude, they could probably, like, hear everything I'm doing.

And, you know, so nowadays, it's like, you're with the cameras everywhere. Like, you really can't do. I mean, you can do illegal stuff, but like, if they want to get you, they got you pretty much. That is for sure. Yeah, it's like, you can do it as long as you want, but. That's for sure. They just, it's just like, is it worth it? Is there a reason?

And I don't think, that's a, that's the big thing. It's such a, uh, you kind of like, you should be developing a skill when you're younger and, like, eating, you have to go through that phase. At least I think before, you're just kind of eating shit as a young person learning a skill. Because that, I, like, thank God I did stand up or something. because it was like I wasn't I was just like not learning I would try to write here and there but it's like I wasn't that like pressure of being young and like feeling like damn I fucking suck is like needed to like okay this is gonna boost me to like learn something and you know yeah create some sort of value I just was like for years like I didn't I didn't have that pressure really yeah man and it can really kind of degrade luckily I thank God I just had like a work ethic in terms of like I had to be doing stuff all the time so writing thank God was like a thing I always did is that from doing in construction, you think? Is that from having to do those, like, insane grueling jobs? Yeah, I think so. How to, like, just, like, grind yourself?

Yeah, you do. Because it's also, you go, then you get to go, well, dude, that's fucking sucks. It's like July in, like, 94 degree heat. It's 80% humidity and you're, like, shoveling dirt and, yeah. Or you're in, like, an old grocery store that burnt down, and, like, you're in now the dairy aisle after months of sitting out, you got to load that into a dumpster. Like, it sucks so bad that anything else you're like, well, it's not the bad as bad as that. You get to appreciate. Yeah. This sucks still, but it's nowhere near as bad as that.

I was a dishwasher at Chili's. Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah, it sucks. Like, it just fucking sucks. That was one of my favorite jobs, by the way, outside of stand-up. I will say the one thing is I was only ever a bus boy, but I used to peep like the giant faucet and the high-pressure shit. And I'd always would be like, damn, that's kind of sick, actually. It's the best.

Yeah, that's kind of cool. No one expects anything for me. Your only job, at least in those days, the dishwasher has. had to make the Italian dressing, which is, as I recall, it's like just mayonnaise and ketchup mix together. I think that's one. Not Italian. No, that's called.

I know you're talking about the yellowish one. Yeah. You just squeeze a bunch of you just squeeze ketchup into mayonnaise and stir it with this nasty long as spatula and buckets. It's nasty. You don't fucking order dressing it. at restaurants, guys. Dishwashing, it was just high-power spray,

then dip into the blue, like, barbershop liquid, and then that was it. What is, like, when does a plate get clean in the restaurant? The plate, no, it's high-pressure spray, then you throw it, then there's an industrial washer that you throw them in, and then that sprays off anything that you missed, and it bakes them.

Dude, I've watched dishes in a few different places. One place I got a dishwashing job at, and this was way before, like the trans thing. The other dishwasher was an actual hermaphrodite. Like the real thing. Like had both. What?

Yeah. You know, they were like, do you want to see? They wanted me to see. And I said no. So it's so funny thing about sending your kid out in the world. There's just like a pure Pinocchio story. You're like, go get a job, son. You'll be all right.

It's literally. You mean it's just you and fucking hermaphrodites in a ditch. You want to see both my genitals? I don't know. I've never seen that before. I really regret saying no to them. Yeah, true. In my old age, I look back and like, that's one of those things.

You're like, yeah, I want to see that. Let's see it. Yeah, let's see what's up. But I remember. No, thank you. No, thank you, sir. I think I tried to be cool about it. I was like, no, man, I got to get home.

Because they wanted to take me to their house to show me their dick and pussy. You know. But the old story. But the, the, the, the father was in a belly of a whale. You're like, I didn't get back to him. I can't see your penis vagina. But man, I can remember. I can remember.

Because the dishwasher's, I think we were busing tables too, but I can remember I was out front busing. Did you ever see the bulgeal toe on the hermaphrodite? Did they ever have like a bulge slash camel toe sticking out? I never saw it. I never noticed it. But I did think, you know, you're like, whoa. Like, I think that's the first time I'd really heard of that before. Yeah.

It was just like, whoa. It sounded like a. a lie. It's funny. They just had a dick. It was just like an old gay guy. They were my age. Really?

But I was busing. This is a really fascinating story. I was busing tables. And I hear this like piercing shriek coming from, it was during a thunderstorm. And I hear this piercing shriek. It went through the whole restaurant. Ran back there in what lightning had hit the fucking restaurant and electrocuted him. Knocked him.

He survived. What? But he got. fucking struck by lightning washing dishes. The hermaphrodite was struck by lightning. Yes. What the fuck. Dude, I know.

I know. Could have died. Could have exploded him all over the kitchen. But like, he survived. He had to go home. But he was like, what the fuck? I know.

It was crazy. That's insane. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by Amantara. Oh, dear Lord, we thank you for the bountiful gifts of nature. One of those gifts is Aminita Muscaria, a completely legal, psychoactive mushroom that has been used for millennia for a variety of spiritual purposes. What's interesting about this particular mushroom is that it affects the GABA receptors, which happen to be the same receptors, that are affected by alcohol and benzos.

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Doseage varies a lot person to person. Thank you, Amantara. I wanted to ask you about the animation stuff you've been doing. Can we show some of this cool animation? Yeah, for sure. Pull up some of this cool animation. Is it on your Twitter?

Is it on YouTube? YouTube, yeah. Yeah, that was fun. Again, I just kind of like writing more so, but I was like, well, let's see if, you know, this could be... Wait, hold on. What's that? What?

This new fucking genre of, like, talking about podcasters is the most insane sub-end... It's the most insane cottage industry. It's horrible. Bert Kreisher crashes out over Shane Gillis. You got a picture of Chrysher, like he just like was in a horrible car accident, picture of Shane looking handsome. I don't want to watch that, but wow, that's crazy.

That is an interesting kind of, you never thought that would be coming. No. In-depth analysis. Of podcasts. There's a lot of them. I know. It's an industry.

It is. If you, yeah, if you click my thing, it should pop up. There you go. Poppy on Paradox. We still, hold on, positive, guys. We probably still can't show this, even though it's him. Like, YouTube will just auto-ding us.

Really, really? I don't know. Let's just show a clip and see what happens. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill. The story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

You take the red pill. You stay in Wonderland. And I show you how deep the rabbit hole go. What if I talk both at the same time? You don't want to do that. That shit will fuck you up, my n-B-W. Wait, you're allowed to call me that? Matt, Mike, what is the issue?

He can't call me that, right? It doesn't make sense to call me that. I'm white, at least. That's what I've been told. Right, but he's black. So he's allowed to say it to him. He's great. We don't have to show the whole thing.

Fucking awesome, man. But who's... Who's... animating that? It was Patrick Kane and directed by Frank Gidwellski. How'd you find Patrick Kane? Honestly, he was a, he hit me up on

Instagram. He had animated clips of the podcast and I was like, dude, do you want to do? I didn't know shit about animation. I was like, do you want to like do animate stuff? So, that was it. I love animation. I like, I like the, I like writing it. What I don't like is it takes forever, dude. Watch it a thousand times and you go,

I hate this. This is not even funny. This is the dumbest thing. But it is, when it all came together when it finally put the sound and all this stuff on it it was really cool to have them all come out dude when we did the midnight gospel oh you did and i realized what goes in to like three set forget just the animating part dude when you're like doing dailies and the everything in an animated scene that you see yeah is like if there's a spoon somebody drew five different spoons yeah you got to pick the spoon everything everything everything is that's crazy everything is carefully picked to form the final product.

And yeah, God knows the first like draft of the midnight. I just never forget when I watched the first episode, it tip mouse. And I'm, and I just, I felt myself die inside. I'm looking. I'm like, well, yeah, I remember telling people, well, I guess it didn't work, guys. And I was so wrecked. And then the producer, one of the producers came up to me was like, Mike Mayfield came up to me and was like,

Duncan, just when you know, your reaction to the first draft is everyone's reaction at the first draft hasn't animated. Everyone dies inside. Yeah. And then it gets funny.

Yep. But that first... Oh, there's no sound on it. It's just like a... It never showed me story... What was it? Like the storyboards or whatever, whatever that's called when it's just,

they're just like, here's like a drag-a, hand-drawn sketch of what this... And I'd watch him, like, dude, just fucking animate it so I can see the thing. And then they do it. like, well, it's all locked. You can't change anything now. And he's like, what the fuck?

But they did a great job. But I agree. Midnight Gospel, too, visually was one of the sickest things, I think, possible. That thing was awesome. They were, there's Jesse Moyni. These guys are so fucking talented. Especially when you know what goes into it. I like watched that.

I was like, oh, my God. That was unbelievable. Dude, thank you. Yeah. But I, you know, this is like, I think this is one of the, like, terrible horrors of AI, especially for people like us. You just have a dumb idea. You want to get it out.

You know how long it takes to animate stuff. It's so dark because you want to like see this idea in your head. And you could pick between what you did the right thing to do because it's always going to be better. Get a human to animate this stuff or just sit down in front of the fucking computer, type out your idea and it spits it. it out. Then you upload it and everyone wants to kill you. I mean, I feel bad for animation because I know

AI is coming for a lot. I mean, obviously, I think you always need a human touch, but dude, background, all that stuff. It can at least get you started and just cut out so much time. And I'm pretty sure a lot of the, there's a lot of AI animation studios. That's coming. Oh, yeah.

That's coming big time. And it's going to be, again, it's one of those things we'll probably just kind of like, instead of having X amount of animators, I'll have a couple, who will just kind of do it, like, detailing and fine touching up. Well, you know, I was, I was fucking around with AI and realizing, like, any, any idea I have, it's kind of making it. But it's too polished.

Yeah. No matter, even if you try to tell it to degrade it or whatever, it's too polished. So then I took my own shitty drawings, took pictures. took pictures of them because you know that's how you make AI video content take the beginning and the end of a scene and it kind of like figures out how to put the frames in between and so I gave it my shitty art I'm like you know animate this person I don't know what I wanted them to do I don't remember dancing and it would take my art and make it like I could draw and then do the animation so it made it look good yeah which I didn't want that sucks it looks too

good. It's too polished. I don't want that. I want it to look like shit. I just don't want to take the time to like do frame by frame drawings. It takes forever. Yeah. And I was saying to it, you stop making it look good. Like you're making it look like I could draw. And in chat TV is like, yeah, welcome to like the big problem with AI video generation is I can't make it look as bad as you draw.

Yeah. Well, that's with the AI stuff. I always try not to be super reactionary against it where I'm like, this is evil, fuck this, well, like, you see that. And then, you know, because there's part of me going like, all right, is this, there's like a lot, you see people like college, you know, commencement speeches where it's like, fuck it. They start, a guy will be like, yeah, you know, there's a lot of developments. And the students be like, boo, fuck you. So you can gain a lot of social currency by being like, fuck AI. Right, right.

It's like, okay, whatever. Maybe you really feel that way. Maybe you're just getting it. I don't know. I can't say. I don't know what you think. But the, I don't know. I kind of like, I'm interested in it.

But it's like, I also get it. If it, like, erased my livelihood, I'd be like, fuck this shit. Right. So, like, I get it. But I don't know. I try not to be, like, knee jerky about, like, how I react to it or perceive it or, like, signal, you know, whatever. But I think it's cool, honestly. My genuine thing is, like, it is cool.

It's like a calculator for, like, symbolic thinking instead of math. But it's like, you know what I mean? It's like language calculator. But I will say, I'm saying all that to say, like, when I see things generated by AI, I am always slightly disturbed and uneasy. Like when it's like an AI person, I don't know what, just innately, I'm kind of like, ah, fuck, it's weird.

Yeah, it's like looking at a corpse. Yeah, literally, that's such a good way to put it, because that is kind of the feeling I get where I'm like, it's not a real fucking, and it's just a subtle, almost unconscious thing where I'm like, that's not a real person and I get like a really uneasy, weird feeling. Yeah, it's, it's, yeah, it's when you see your dead grandma feeling.

Yeah, you know, it's that. That's exactly the feeling. I haven't been able to identify the feeling. It's a corpse feeling. You're like, blah. The scientific term is dead grandma. Yeah, DGF. And you, you, which, you know, my view on making stuff is just make stuff.

Yeah. Like, there are, like, when it comes to making stuff, if you're thinking too much about where it will go, if you're thinking at all about where it will go, now you're a marketer. You know, you're getting caught. the marketing is poisoning. Yeah. All the good stuff, nobody thought like, this is going to make a ton of money, probably. Yeah. They just needed to make something and they got lucky and it took off.

Yeah. That's my naive theory on it. So with, you know, dead grandma feeling, well, that's a real feeling. That does mean AI generated video is inspiring an emotion in people, meaning to me, that's art. It's not art in your animation. It's not art in like human animation. It's a different, completely different animal. But it is art to me in the sense that it's making people feel a certain way.

But I just feel like it's like the best critique of it outside of the obvious shit is that it's just free base capitalism. because like in capitalism you want maximum return on your investment. And so it's taken art and it's created a way for people to remove the creation process almost entirely. Yeah, it's weird. And so it's all about production. It's all about producing. And anyone who's ever worked on a book or anything, you know that the book that you thought you were going to write isn't the book you end up writing. Yeah.

And you would know. never get there if you could tell a computer, write this book. God help you if something could perfectly write your first idea for a book. Because you're not going to write your book. That's a different book. Yeah, and you don't enjoy it. I mean, that's the big thing too, which, like you're saying the free base capitalism thing, where there's like, obviously, yeah, if you want to write books, you say, well, yeah, I'm going to write them. I'm going to sell them. But then there's like, there's the joy inherent in the task itself, where it's like if you just outsource all the work and try to get all the money, it's like, hey, the thing's not, I don't think it probably won't

be good or like groundbreaking in any sense but it's also like you know when you write a book aside from like selling there's like the external rewards of selling a book but there's so many internal rewards to things that people now just like try to completely over like if you're a carpenter and you build a barn it's like yes you can sell your barn but you've also gained the skills you have the pride you can like feel the wood and everything and it's like i think everyone lacks it there's a there's a really good book about that um this guy alsterer mcinty he was a philosopher in like the 80s got real into like aristotelianism, virtue. Like, this is a kind of thing that's been fucking me up lately.

Dude, Alistair Macintyre's after Virtues. I think it's, I had to read a book basically summarizing the book. It's one of those dense things written by a giant fucking genius guy. But dude, he goes through all this stuff. Basically he's saying our modern morality is just like a broken, chaotic jumble of all of these different things that we use as almost like snake skin to kind of just get our way. so we can gain external rewards. It's pretty fucked up.

Dude, it's true because he was saying like back a long time ago, as far as I can tell, a long time ago, it was like you had the virtues. And they were just more so about like how to excel as a human being across. It wasn't like necessarily like we have rule following morality. So there was like the virtues, which is like, how do you live the best human life possible? And how can that way that you live make life better

for as many people as possible if they do these same things? If they have virtues, if you don't have virtues, your life just kind of collapse. And then the church kind of came through. And I think Thomas Aquinas was the one who was like, no, no, this stuff is cool. Stop trying to rail against it. But more or less, what happened was virtues got collapsed into being virtuous,

which just meant you're a rule follower. And then that's when he lived under the oppressive, like medieval times, modern, you know, 1950s. You were like a virtuous man. If you just followed rules and that was that. And if you suffered, like, so be it. It was more virtues. Is this Nietzsche's idea of, I never know how to say his fucking name of his need? or Nietzsche, no matter what, someone will correct you either way.

But is it, his slave morality? Is that what he, that's what he called? Yeah, it's just, you're just following. But I think Nietzsche was like, you just have to make up your own things and go off. And the guy at McIntyre was like, no, you have to return to like the Aristotelian idea of virtues and pursue and pursue and practice things that when done give you a good inherent in itself, not necessarily a marketing. And again, it's one of those things where I can't hardly summarize it.

Sounds good. I got you. It's amazing. but then it's like you had all these rule followers and then it became virtuous or desirable to now just go the postmodern thing where like break all of these fucking rules and then you'll be and they're still miserable too

and it's like, his book's basically like you have to get back to like being a community-minded individual who's connected to like a deep tradition at some point which you have to learn about in order to critique rather than burning it down and becoming like just a lost person adrift in like complete personal subjectivity and yeah it's pretty

fucking sick, dude. It's what I think is, it's amazing. That's amazing. It's awesome. Yeah, you sort of like, oh God, it's so fucked up, man. You ever see like those hermit crabs who they like make their shells out of like shit they find on the beach and stuff? Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it is. Hermit crabs just kind of like huddled and like something that kind of looks like a shell. It's like a, it's like a fucking dan and. an empty Danin yogurt plastic yogurt thing. They're huddled in there.

And it's just like it could be better for you, crap. Like, that's no, and he gets in, he calls it emotivism where it's like,

our morality now is just like people just take from scraps of like morally coded language to just get their way. So there's making emotionally based arguments and being like, you're a fucking piece of shit if you don't agree

with how I feel emotionally about this subject. Here's why. And then like, no, actually you're a giant. piece of shit. Here's why.

And it's just people just both just trying to get their ways. It's not tied to like an external good for people or a thing like if everyone pursue this would this lead to a good life or bad. It's just kind of like you're a fucking piece of shit. It's like whenever you see, like I don't remember which religious text I was reading. But whoever was right was trying to explain like the reason for these prescriptions of how to live is not because we're trying to.

trying to make you miserable. Yeah. It's because this works if you want to be happy. If you do these things, you are going to have a much happier life than if you don't. And for thousands of years, everyone experimented with not doing these things. The experiment in drunkenness. Yeah. Has been done.

Yeah. I mean, literally, these are people who have lived after other people live for thousands of thousands and be like, hey, I did the whole thing. I'm front to back. I'm telling you. You're like, yeah, fucking right. What the fuck to you and all those people know. Yeah, and you're like, I want to get hammered and gamble. Yeah, I cheat on my wife. It's like, we did the experiment in infidelity.

Everyone tried that. Yeah. It always fucks you up. Yeah. We did it. We've tried the... I think a lot of these religious people are like, if only... Yeah. It just... It's like the same way like you shouldn't, like, put a hair dryer

in the bathtub. Yeah. You're going to get shocked. I don't know what that is or why or what. It's just the way it fucking works, man. And yeah, I think the, when you, this gets back to what we were talking about earlier, about freedom. Yeah. You get befuddled and you start conflating freedom with hedonism. You start thinking those are the same thing. The hedonic life is the ultimate life of liberty or something.

Do it without will. Do it that will. She'll be the whole of the law. love is the law love under will but people I think confused that I mean I always

people get mad because they think I was a kind of Crowley defender but I don't think he meant like he was so fucking disciplined until he got on morphine but

it's another topic but you know what I mean sum it up that was it I grew up in like a Catholic household you're like fuck this shit sucks and then I go out just completely polar opposite

into like a criminal underworld and I'm like I can do whatever I remember to the point where I was like I have enough money where I could go get a massage and get jerked off every day. Yeah. And you're like, this is sad.

You're like, this is so fucking sad. And you go, yeah, I'm definitely, because I remember being like, why wouldn't someone get jerked off every day if they had enough money for that? Then you do it. You go like, oh, because you feel like a fucking lizard walking. You're like, it's disgusting. Well, especially when you, like, the walls are thin and you hear someone next door getting jerked off. Or you're just like, this is, I should not, this can't be the primary mover of my exit. Like, obviously getting jerked off rules.

but then there's higher order things that you should be taken care of and you know when you're younger you just don't see it and then you get older and you're like oh having like a family not even just for the sake of saying you did it it's like you're literally doing your little part

to like push society humankind forward in a good way it's just way more satisfying even if you don't have a family even if you're like working with people and other people you know I just took forever to click for me and I'm like oh yeah I have values now

and that helps because now I'm not like gaming every social interaction and to try to come out on top in some sense. I'm like, no, this is what I feel. I try to do it as much as possible. Right. And wherever I land amongst that, I feel good. Yeah, you have a, you know, if you're not doing that,

you're just tossed on the sea. Like, you're just tossed around from one reaction to the next. You're an animal, you know? Like, not the animals are bad. They're cool. I love fucking animals. It's like, I don't know why everyone's like, you're an animal. It's like, you don't have to be, though.

I mean, look, you know, when I look at squirrels, they don't seem fucking happy. They seem freaked out and hungry after the time running from everything. They're so scared. They're so scared. Every creature seems to be in varying degrees of, like, mortal danger all the time. And you don't have to be like that. So, yeah, what time are we doing on time? It's 1255.

Fuck. We got to wrap. We got to wrap. Well, part to it. We're part to it. Dude, you were so brilliant. Thank you so much for. coming on the show. Thank you for coming, man. You're, wait, what you're doing, you're on tour right now.

I'm on tour right now. What's a healing frequency tour? Yeah, the healing frequency. Matt McCusker. Matt McCusker.com. It's kicking off September through whatever. Yeah. Beautiful. All the links will be down below if you're watching this on YouTube. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Cheers. That was Matt McCusker. Everybody, don't forget to come see my upcoming shows. All the links are down below. Tune into the mystery, boys. I will see you in just a few days. Goodbye. Thank you.