Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 764: Wired Monkey Momma

Episode Date: August 2, 2026

If you want this or you don't want that you shouldn't want that if you want that you gotta do this to get that and to get that you're gonna have to not have that but you want is the thing you need to do to get where you want to go that's not where you really where you want to go, but you pretend you do, and that's where all the trouble starts.New Mexico family! Duncan is coming to Hyena's Comedy Nightclub in Albuquerque, August 14 & 15. Click here to get your tickets now!Check out Mystery Boys with Duncan and Kurt Metzger on YMH Studios!This episode is brought to you by: Download Cash App, use our exclusive referral code SECURE10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account! Terms apply. That’s Money. That’s Cash App. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at MintMobile.com/Duncan.

There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at bellair direct.com. I'm doing shows coming up, specifically. I believe the next show is in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Haina's Comedy Nightclub, August 14th and 15th. Two days only. Then after that, head to Seattle, Washington, Emeralds,

comedy club then headed to Dallas hyenas can't wait and then I'm back oh wait Phoenix Arizona my October 2nd 3rd

second third shows ain't happening because I don't know if I can say that cut that out maybe I'm not supposed to say that all right but I'll be back there eventually and then I'm going to be that's enough those are enough dates for now It's good to have y'all back here again.

Here in the precious DTFH, the day stream as we're calling it. These days, call it whatever you want. It's just a name. That's what humans try to do. They try to name things, get control over, get some sense that this is that and that is this. And that's where all the trouble starts. You see, the great way. It's not difficult for they who all know preference.

All we're taught is preference from the moment we're born. You want this or you don't want that and you shouldn't want that, but you should want that. And if you want that, then you need to do this to get that. And to get that, you're going to have to not have that, which you want. But to want is the thing you need to do if you need to get to where you want to go, even though that's not where you really want to go. But you pretend you do and that's where all the trouble starts. You just can't be yourself.

You just can't be who you are. You're out there getting your Botox treatments, doing your sit-ups, your pull-ups, or wishing you were doing your sit-ups and your pull-ups. Saying goodbye to your friends, moving on down. To meet new friends that you'll say goodbye to, and the whole time you have no idea what's going on. Sleepwalking, dreaming. like some kind of shambling zombie wandering through the Matrix.

Where will I go next? You wonder? You don't know. And so you pretend you have a place you want to go, even though you can't get anywhere or be anywhere because you're already there, which is here. This temporal destination is unreachable because you've already reached it. An old joke goes like this.

A great Zen master was. on one side of a river and his student was on the other side of the river and his student called out to the master saying i want to get to the other side the master said you are on the other side motherfucker i always makes me laugh it always makes me laugh give me those thumbs up in the likes in the hearts of the stars. Bring them in. Bring my children home.

To all the audio listeners out there, I hope you forgive me for the many solo episodes. I don't know if y'all like them or hate them anymore. I don't know. I don't know if I like them or hate them. Need to get some guests in here. Do some classic interviews.

But then on the other hand, do I. You have to wonder to yourself. What are you supposed to do? you. Homogenize yourself, become like every goddamn other fucking thing. Have the same damn guess on over and over again. Turn into a kind of drool and homogenized drizzle. Going for the views. Going for the lags. Going for that monetization. Is that who you want to be? Is that what we become? Is that who we are now? Was it that easy? When I was a young lad flopping around my teenage years, we recognized the encroaching hell of corporations.

Oh, we did. But we never thought I would get to this level. We never imagined that humanity could be so easily puppeteered. We never could imagine that. And yet, here we are. Here we are. Little chickens in a skinner box. Pecking at the fucking cocaine button over and over again,

hoping to get that blast, that boost. Some of us are crazy enough We want to be famous I heard that the other day I heard a kid say I want to be famous Why? Why? You want to just sit there

And have people stare at your ass You don't even know what you want Why would you? You're supposed to have to want something You want to want something That's the strangest one of all You hear the manifestation people Talking about

You know, manifest what you're you want. You know, like, I don't think I want anything. Then you feel like an outsider because you're fine. I'm, I don't, shouldn't be fine. Should be all freaked out and scared. What's wrong with me? And then you get freaked out and scared because you want to fit in. Next thing you know, you're manifesting freaked out and scared shit. It started off with you realizing you were okay enough that you didn't need to do some goddamn manifestation bullshit so you could get some a beautiful lady sitting on your face and suffocating you a while. While a chimp pounds your balls.

Classic fantasy. Everyone has. Everyone has that fantasy. So you get confused. You get sad. You get angry. I don't know if you've been on the interwebs lately, but they're pissed right now. Everywhere you look.

People are really mad. It's become a toxic cesspool on there. Why wouldn't it be? You don't go on the goddamn thing. You feel like an outsider. You don't know what's going on if you're not going on. You go on, you might as well go stick your precious member through a hole in Satan's wall. You don't even want to know what's slurping on you, but you know it ain't good because it doesn't feel right.

Cold, too many teeth. And you keep doing it, though, because everyone else is. You look down the long wall of people humping that wall on their knees slurping on the promiscuit. of unknown, Lovecraftian Eldridge horrors protruding through the liminal space between what we are and what our subconscious is. Slurping away! Slurping away at the drool in probisca attached to God knows what. Filling up your guts with the seed of demons. And then burping fear into the world.

So they got us. They got us. You look at those cute little adorable chimpanzees picking mites out of their hair and a show of profound love. You ever see them videos? Josh, what the hell are you looking at there? Pull up, I told you earlier, I have this free. Pull up chimps grooming each other. Just so people know what I'm talking about.

This is what we came from. 98% chimpanzee DNA, apparently. Pull it up. We lost the cute. That's for sure. The Ananaki bred out of cuteness. I have to say humans aren't cute. There are some real cuties out there, and I'm not trying to be negative.

In fact, this is going to be the most positive DTF solo episode that's ever been done, believe it or not. Yeah, there you. Just pull up that beautiful baboon grooming. Look at how sweet that thing is. Oh, that feels good. Oh yeah, get that thing out there. Tick. What you got a little louse here? Pull that out, get that thing out.

Yeah, just pull up another one. I hate YouTube shorts. Another affront to humanity itself. Deliver by YouTube. You got to turn that shit off. Nobody likes them. There we go. I need a nice long chimp grooming session.

Oh, that feels good. For the listeners right now, we're watching these two beautiful chimpanzees. Gru one's a grooming the other, stroking his hair, just looking in there for any kind of bug or little anything that could be an irritant. He's finding something. What's he got? Oh, what we got? Oh, I'll eat that one.

Mm, juicy. Why not? Oh, yeah. What's out there, he says? Oh, you never know. Why the fuck are we in this cage? This doesn't seem right. We were born in here, but God damn, something seems off, you know, based on our strength and everything.

Why are we? Let me take another look here. Oh dearly. Oh, God. You got a lot of these little bugs and fleas. Hold still now. Okay, we'll pick this one off with love and care. Let me just see here.

Pick. Oh, I'm going to eat that one now. Just straight down the pops. Yeah. And you see in the background there, you got a jealous one. This jealous one here, the asses of always freak me out.

Now, that's us. Right there. Find another chimp grooming video, Josh. There should be hundreds of hours. So what they do all day, they groom each other. Groom it. Look at that. Another word stolen.

Used to be nice to be groomed. Now it means you're going to end up on a fucking island with a bunch of reptilians. Now look at that. Will you groom me? He says, oh yeah, I love you. Look how sweet they ought to each other, grooming away. Now turn it on. Josh. That's all we are right there. We want to be we want somebody to pick bugs out of

our hair tell us it's going to be okay. We want somebody to pick bugs out of our hair and love us enough to eat them bugs that have been eating us. That's what we want. That's what we want. And so they did it. Another thing they're done taken from us. Now we groom each other online in all four. of the term. Positive grooming or terrible grooming. And it's replaced. It replaced a ritual of intimacy

where you would gather together with your friends and pick bugs off of each other out of pure love. That's what the boys used to do. Now the boys game. They don't pick bugs. Maybe where you pick bugs now is you press a heart. Now you better be, put the hearts.

Thumbs up groom me now. I need a groom. That's what it is. It replaced intimacy. Don't you see it. Pull up that wire. Josh, I want you to pull up something for me now. I'm sorry. Can you, Josh, will you pull up wire monkey mom? You won't see something horrible. I'll show you. I've talked about it before. Pull up wire monkey mom. I'm not supposed to do that on here right now. Pull that up and take me off the screen for a minute there, Josh. This motherfucker, Harlow, look at that shit. Pause right there, look at that. Nothing is summed up the human condition better than Harlow's fucking shit experiment, where he took this little poor baby monkey's mama away, replaced it with this abomination, and this poor little baby fucking monkey clung to it

like a raft in the ocean. And mama, that's his mama. That's who he thinks his mama is. Look at that. Pause right on that fucking thing. There's social media for you. There's your Facebook. There's your Instagram.

There it is right there. Oh, why fucking monkey made out of goddamn bicycle reflectors? That's what it is. That ain't your mama? And we all want it. Yours truly included. Klinging to that thing, slurping down that one. wool, whatever the towel that shit is wrapped around what appears to be a soap rack.

Slurping on it, hoping to get just a little taste of something real. And we're emaciated and fucked up now. Spiritually drain. A tourniquet wrapped around. The juggler vein that connects us to the divine. Huh? No. Put it back on for one more second, Josh, thank you.

Look at it again. And so it is. But you see, if you want to know where you're going, you got to know where you are. And if you want to get out of a prison, you got to recognize you're in a damn prison first. That's the way out. You got to understand what's going on.

You got to look deep into your own needs. Why are you gooning so much at night? Why are you gooom? Why you gooning and I don't just mean gooning in the classic sense. You're gooning. You goonin' you goonin' just as much as them when you're on your TikTok looking for something to scare you. You're trying to get a fear-gasm. You're trying to get a little fear-gasm going.

It don't matter. You just want to rush of the brain juice. They got us again. The YouTube assassin. We don't know why it happens. It's got an excellent connection here. connection here so it seems down in this basement that matter you get my point here we are approaching the end of summer I hope you had a good one sun baked and sunroasted

tan maybe not here we are yet again soon the leaves will begin to fall from the trees and the birdies will fly away. And there you are, unaware of any of it. You don't even know what day it is, maybe. And you're up there gooning. You're gooning on the toilet, you're gooning in your car, you're gooning at the airports, you're gooning everywhere,

staring down into that screen looking for something. Oh, something is gonna make me feel better. Maybe another video about World War III. World War III, maybe that will quench my thirst. Maybe that will at last restore the connection I need, that great connection with the divine. The one thing that separates us from them damn mutching, grooming old chimps. Maybe one more video. Maybe a dude with face tattoos telling me about geopolitics will make me feel a little better.

That's what I need. Maybe some, some mom telling me how I'm a bad fucking parent because I don't package cupcakes in the morning. Maybe that'll make me feel better. Maybe another, some more advice from a faceless video telling me how to take advantage of opus. Maybe that's what I need. That'll make it better. Or maybe just a money. Maybe a nice flow of green rolling in. Maybe that'll make me better. If I'm rich, fuck it. Fuck it, it. It doesn't matter that the rich are dying in their hot tubs because they're so dumb that blasted on ketamine

while they take a hot tub dip. Dumbest thing you could do. It doesn't matter that the children of the ultra-wealthy are literally stabbing them to death at night. Maybe I'll be different. Maybe it'll work. Maybe it will work. Until you get just a thing.

you were hoping and you realize there ain't nothing here. Just another wire fucking monkey I'm clinging to. Just another sad, sad idol that I'm clinging to, wondering when the blessings will come. The blessings are here, friends. The blessings are here right now. They don't need to come. You're on an ocean of blessings,

an ocean of samsara and yet samsara and nirvana are intertwined as they say enlightenment confusion is a condition of enlightenment that very thing that makes you have some generalized sense that things are amiss is your enlightened mind it's aware it's pure awareness you can do it right now There's the you freaking out. There's the you thinking way too much about the straight of hormones. And then there's the you that's just aware. It's just here. And your chair at work, not at work, walking your doggy out there working on your lawn.

On a subway, maybe, maybe on a massage table, getting paid. Whatever you may be doing. wherever you may be, that awareness mind is what you are. Feel yourself. I mean, not in the vulgar sense. Look at you. Think of all you've done to get to where you are now. How incredible it is that you managed to get to this place right now and so many didn't.

These dumb motherfuckers walking in front of cars. Think of how many people have walked in front of cars just bladded all over the highway. No situational awareness at all. It's easy to die here in the earth realm. That's the gravity's fault. You've got this head, cranium up here. It's going to bust your brain open if you fall too hard. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by Cash App. It's one of the premier breeders in the Austin area. I've got a bunch of kids. I got the premier breeder award for July, which is a true honor. And thank you to the Austin Breeder Association. It's important to me that my kids learn all the skills. Took them fishing the other day. That was fun. You ever take your

kids fishing, Josh? Can you talk during a commercial? Yeah, I've taken them, I've took them fishing this past June. Did they catch anything? My daughter caught a bunch. My son caught one thing. Yeah, it's a big moment when they catch their first fish. Yeah. They love it. And, you know, you feel like a real dad when your kid reels in a fish. We threw them back. They were tiny. You know what I mean? I wouldn't eat the fish out of the fucking nasty pond where you're fishing in.

But the point is, you also have to teach your kids about the Matrix stuff, man. Money. And, you know, whether you like it or not, cash, like the green rectangles covered with Masonic symbols, I don't know how long that's going to be around. most people don't even use it anymore. And so, you know, teaching your kids to save. My kids have got a safe. They forgot the password.

They've got all their tooth fair money in there and they can't get it out. It's kind of sad and awesome at the same time. Worst savings account of all time. I want my kids to know about, like, plastic. They're going to be using it. They understand it. Sometimes I'll let them, like, you know, put my card in and stuff just to try to teach them about it. I always feel a little weird doing it, but this is the world we're in.

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18, they're not going to be like, my dumbass, who immediately applied for a credit card. I was like, I don't even know how that shit works. I'm not going to pay for it. I'm not going to pay that card. I was dumb. I don't want my kids to be financially illiterate. It's really a brilliant app. There's fraud monitoring running around the clock, and you get real-time visibility to every transaction

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Parents and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids 6 to 12. Visit cash.app forward slash legal, forward slash podcast for full disclosures. Thanks, Cash App. You just think about all the bad things. You never think about the good. You never think about all you've been through, do you? You never think about all the things you've accomplished. You never think about all the sweet things you've done in the...

world instead you're always thinking about the way you're fucked up always think about what you did wrong maybe you'll make yourself better next thing you know you're filled up with Botox and your lips are puffed like some kind of undersea beast those old puffed up weird lips look like an inner tube that got over inflated and that ain't pretty weird old lips all puffed out you thought that would fix it that would make me right if I puffed my lips for weird plastic surgery goo the same shit they used to put pull up stretch armstrong Josh god damn it Josh pull up stretch armstrong toy you don't want your

lips to look like that look at that look at his arms that's what you do into your body filling yourself up with a stretch armstrong goo you think that'll make people love you look at that pull up lip it lip what do they call it Josh lip puffs lip injections put up a lip injection just take a look at this here don't put me on the screen for a moment i got to meditate silently for three seconds give me off the screen yeah look at these lips there let me i'm going to point to it now what the fuck did you do to your lips why'd you do it it. You look at wonderful lips before. Now your lips look like one of them damn or baboon butts. You thought that would make you happy. You're out there trying to mog.

Pull up, pull up clavicular for God's sake. He is beautiful, I will admit. Look at that beautiful man. Now pull up clavicular's friend who died. Josh. Josh! Josh! Pull him. Pull him. Pull up. He Pull up clavicular's friend who died. I don't know what was this poor son of a bit. Put up clavicular friend injected himself with gold. Put up, Josh. Pull up clavigula's friend, gold injection, Josh. Connor Murphy.

Look at that. The looks max and influence of Carter Murphy, this beautiful man thought it would be a good idea to shoot up with gold. And he died. He drowned. He was too heavy. Gold's heavy. And it was all full of gold.

And he jumped in a pool and couldn't swim back to the top. Gold is a very heavy metal. Look at that beautiful man. What I wouldn't give to be beautiful like that. Look at those cheeks, those well-de-fied muscles, the hair, that, that nose, the fences mustache. Look at that beautiful man. And yet, as beautiful a man as he is, he sank to the bottom of a pool, full of gold. And what better symbol is there for the world today? All of us shooting up with gold.

All of us filling ourselves with the dark heavy metal of social media's taint. Now what to do, you ask? Well, it's not that hard. In fact, it's so incredibly simple that it is hard. So incredibly simple. You think you don't deserve it. You deserve it. You think you don't have it. You've got it. You can't believe it. It can't be me. It's you. Now you know.

You have to decide what you're going to do next. You're going to go spray your fear spray all over the world. You're going to go around all day, beating yourself up for some bullshit you did a few years ago or yesterday. You're going to fixate on some nonsense. Just let that rattle around in your head like some broken. old toy. Or you're gonna come back here with the day stream. Are you gonna come back here with the day stream?

Or you come back here into the stream a day? Enter the stream. Be a stream intera. Come here with us. Get on out of that old haunted house up there and your old TikTok talker up here. And come bless the world with your presence. We missed you. You know the world misses you, don't you?

Every time you stare at your phone, you know it's like a light turned off. Every time you look down at your damn hypno rectangle trying to find some verification that you exist and have importance in this world, it's like a lighthouse just turned off. I guess the lighthouse keeper had to take a shit and he turned off the light. Now the ships are crashing all around you. You think you are manifesting reality just from the very active observation itself? Don't you understand it? converting your 3D hyperdimensional spatiality into 2D space every time to stare at your old hyporectangle. Maybe that's what they want.

You're too powerful. The world needs your light. The world needs you to look at it and look around. Yeah, sure, it can feel lonely out there walking around, not staring at your phone when everybody else is teleporting themselves into the 2D realm out of pure and abject fear. controllable. You just flip to the next goddamn thing and it's gone. You can't do that when you're,

when you're, you can't do that when you're in a port and party to rave. God is love. Come back to us now. Get this fucking thing off my voice now, Josh. I don't do this bit anymore. Look at my eyes! I'm tired.

Oh, that was, that was fun. It's hard to not. do the voice with the glasses on though it really is oh man i hope you guys are doing good thank you all all you for joining us here on the beautiful day stream that was fun i'm not sure what people think of this thing you know i was watching a stream the other day uh the the mainstream that i watch is called agenda free tv do you watch that josh never heard of it uh it's great if you want like It's great and it's the most infuriating stream you'll ever see in your life. But basically, yeah, don't show a video.

This guy, one thing I love about him is he's very respectful of other people's content, which I think is really cool. But this dude covers in real time mainly right now it's the war in Iran. And it is the funniest, weirdest, craziest, most apocalyptic, shit you'll ever watch, which is like, Steve, that's his name, Lookner, Steve Lookner, I believe. He just has, I imagine he's got like 50 feeds up and he just watches the war, watches the bombings. I'm wearing these fucking glasses.

They were laying outside. They were greasy and nasty. But like, I'm so tired right now. I couldn't sleep last night. But look, look. Look at my eyes, dude. I'm all like, eh,

I don't know why. It just makes you feel a little better when you cover them up. But yeah, watch Steve. It's incredible and infuriating. But maybe I shouldn't be watching it based on everything I just said because, but that's kind of why I like doing it. I just sit there and think,

what are you doing? Why do you have this on? It's just this dude who is like, oh, oh, oh, we got an update. We got an update. CINCOM reports. CINCOM. He's really good at repeating it for some reason,

which I think keeps people tethered to the goddamn thing. He goes, CINCOM, okay, update. CINCOM. CENTCOM has reported. This is an update. CINCOM has reported.

This is from CINCOM. CINCOM has reported that they have begun a military action in Garvabamba Haramar. He can never really pronounce the names of the places. It's amazing. I couldn't either, but it's amazing. And then that's pretty much it. Then people will say things like, you know, I think that,

I think they're going to drop a nuclear bomb soon. And he will go. Feng Speer thinks that they're going to drop a nuclear bomb. That's what Fengs steer. I mean, I don't know. They might. It could happen. I hope not.

And but it could, I don't, I don't have anything to show that that might happen or won't happen. And that's, that's a thing that could happen, but we don't really know for sure. That's it. Every little thing. That's why it's called agenda free. He makes no, barely. he doesn't have any person. He's so good at not having any, like,

subjective opinion on what's happening. And it's so apocalyptic to watch. Highly advise. I am a subscriber over there. What time of day are you watching this? Like, throughout the day or? He usually comes on at night. So what happens is I will, you know,

like I pick the kids up, we get them to bed. Then after that, just because, and again, I don't want to be negative here, but I don't know if you, this has been your experience, that everything is slop right now. Like on, like, I can't find many good shows right now. And the good ones I've watched. House of Dragons I've watched up in the air about that. Finish the fucking new Dutton Ranch bullshit.

And, you know, watch the backrooms, watched obsession. That's, maybe you guys know of other stuff that isn't like complete slop right now, but everything else is like, dog brides. You know, go talking. There's a whole thing about like talking goats. You know, just insane idiocracy level shit. And, you know, or just like, you know, various like love island things where, you know, beautiful people fuck on an island. So like, you're like, ah, fuck it.

I'll just watch the apocalypse. And you put on agenda free TV. You get apocalypse updates. But then it's so incredibly infuriating and boring that you turn it off. I've been showing my kids' old cartoons. That's where I've been living in nostalgia. And right now we're watching X-Men 97, which is where they left off the cartoon back. So I'm just living like a little kid again.

That's cool. Yeah, that's cool. I'll tell you what I've been doing. Now, this is a very interesting thing. So this is wild. I'm about to blow y'all's mind here. Check this out. I'll show you what I've been doing.

So somebody has been taking stories. and I don't know who's been doing this. Somebody's been taking, I guess, movies or TV shows, and instead of having the video, they've been writing what happens down into these, whatever, into like this shit, right? Do you know what I'm talking about? No.

It's so weird, yeah. And so, like, this is kind of like a player piano. Like, you know, you put the thing in a player piano and it plays, but for your brain, I guess, is the best way to describe it. So you look at, these things like I can look at it right now and when I when I look at the words I see a movie in my mind kind of okay do you know what I mean do you have to practice this yeah intuitive they're they're yeah you're calling it reading but yeah you have to learn how to turn the symbols into

words and then that goes together I know I know I know that sounds awful but yeah this has been something I've been doing uh and this book is fucking great you know I don't know if you guys ever do the thing where like, I want to be an intellectual. And you try to read really like, like, you know, lofty philosophical books. You're like, I'm going to, I guess I'm going to read some Heidegger again. I guess I'm going to just give another shot at it. I'm going to do some deep existentialist reading today. Or I think it's because I went on a Cormack McCarthy kick and was like, you know what, I got to take a break, dude. I can't keep reading Cormac McCarthy. So I went to my beloved Joe Abercrombie, who is such a great author.

Now, there's a name for this kind of fantasy, and I can't remember what it's called, grunge fantasy or something, or maybe you guys know the name of it, but it's like Game of Thrones, I think, kind of falls into it, where it's just, like, bloody, and everyone's kind of fucked up.

There's not really a good guy, but this shit is actually pretty good, even though it's, like, you know, candy. But it's way better than anything on, the old boob tube boy am I got some hot takes today I'm shaking the internet today hey books are better than movies

hey there's a lot of bad stuff on TV hey Joe look at your phone wow I'm really rocking it to the core the everyone I know you guys must be just like what oh we've never thought of these things before But it's true now! I mean, I think you crossed the line a little bit with the lip injections. I like those.

Do you really? Yeah. You really do. Are you being honest? I'm being honest. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you have your lips like this, get the lip injections. It just makes your face look better.

Number one. And I mean this from the very depth of my heart. It's your body. Yeah. You do whatever the fuck you want to do with it. Whatever it is. This is yours. This is you.

You could do whatever. Body modification. Anything you want. Anything. All, this is you. You do it, baby. You go ahead. And everybody's got preference.

So for those of you out there have got puff lips. You know what? I was being judgmental. It's not my thing. I think now we hear people like Josh fucking love it. Yeah. Purely sexual. Purely sexual.

Oh, yeah. People love it. People like Josh love those. big old wildly puffed lips. I just, you know, I don't know, this is my age showing, I guess. You know what I mean? It's like, get out of my yard. Stop buffing your lips.

I don't, puff your lips. I don't care. Maybe look at my old thin bitches. I should puff my lips. I have to hide them with my beard. I got thin little pursed lips. Damn! Look, we got to do, we have some serious super chats coming in right now,

and it's kind of blowing my fucking mind. We better address them. right now. Thank you so much. We'll get back into it. We're going to do some super chats. And then just even though I really hesitated, I've been struggling, I do want to do this. We're going to watch a little bit of the Fauci hearings. And I kind of don't want to, today I was thinking that'll be fun to do. And then I looked on YouTube and realized like all these just fucking, just so many idiots doing like commentary on Fauci all heavy and serious. I'm like, God, so hacky to even talk about it. But on the other hand,

It's kind of interesting. So we'll just look at it for a second. But let's do some of these beautiful donations that came in to the day stream. And thank you so much. What we got, Josh? Oh, not ready. Thank you so much. My wife and I saw you in Milwaukee last weekend.

You were awesome. Bless you. I appreciate it. Thank you for coming to the show. I appreciate it. I wish I'd made it out to Milwaukee. You know, I was in the suburbs of Milwaukee. I don't even know the name of that fucking place.

But I got to tell you, I got a little rattled out there. I was in a Mariah in the middle of fucking nowhere. And I got kind of creeped out. Talk about that too later. What the? Binnie! $100 super chat! Just to high archives podcast producers saying Josh is better than Jamie.

And I would call that a great compliment. That is a great compliment. That is like a high compliment because Jamie's pretty fucking good. Oh, yeah, the best probably. Yeah. He's just the master at it. But yeah, I guess we should say, used to be the best. Right, Josh?

I know, but I love Jamie. But yeah, Josh is at the top of his game. Okay, what else we got here? A gift membership came in from Drax. Thank you, Drax. If you got a gift membership, everybody, can you please say thank you to Drax BRB eating fridge. Thank you,

Drax, very jitterous a guide. And a little message here from Tracks. My grandma got a lip injection. It was crazy. She started laughing hysterically. And I'm journaling. What is your advice for a journal of wisdom? Ha, ha, ha. Ah, dude. Just, you know, I think because I went to liberal art school, took a creative variety class and they just did the morning. pages thing to us. And I did it. And it's so good to just sit and write fearlessly. It feels so good. Great for comics, too. Great for getting jokes. That's where a lot of joke premises come from. It's just free writing, whatever, not being afraid to write anything you want and just doing it,

just writing. And the general advice, I think, for the morning pages is when you run out of ideas, you just start writing over and over. I don't have an idea. I don't have an idea. I don't have an idea. Like a lunatic. And then I don't know what to write about. I don't know what to write about. and then something else will start coming. Definitely helps me clear my head. Again, for those of you just joining us, I'm wearing these stupid glasses, because look at me, look at my eyes.

Ah! Look how tired I am. Look at that bag under my eyes. I'm fucking tired, man. Bing, Bing! Oh! What's the full name? Marva?

Marvie? Give the shout-out. Does it show their full name? Well, I'm assuming it's Marvie. Thanks, Marvin? Wait. It's Marvin. Marvin T.

The voice is working all the way from the United States of America to South Africa, Eastern Cape. What? Hell yes. Is it pretty out there? Out there on the Eastern Cape? South Africa? I want to go out there, man. I want to see it for myself.

That's another thing I was watching is some dude who just travels around to forbidden zones. It's honestly, I wish I could, I'd, written it down. It's one of the more revolutionary bits of YouTube content because this this dude is going to China. He's going to Iran. He's going to Iraq. He's going to all the places we're supposed to be afraid of. And the people are so sweet. Everyone's feeding him, taking him in. So kind. And the only people who suck are the authorities who like arrest him and shit. Like the government people don't like it. But they, it just is so so. So. like sweet and sad when you just realize like everyone's just so nice and funny and cool and

everyone's just like just giving him food in Iraq especially in Iran people are just giving him shit being so nice it's so sad dude it's so sad and cool he got the fuck out of Iran though had to um who did sweatshirt guy it's good to see you again Duncan can one effectively meditate or be spiritual on 30 milligrams of Adderall asking for a fred, of course. I mean, if you ask me, this is maybe a controversial take on the matter, but this whole idea,

the real question is, try to not be spiritual. You know, just how do you even do that? Good luck. You're having a spiritual experience. It's called human existence. You're not going to be able to unspiritual, yourself. There's no way. And I don't even think death fixes the problem, to be honest. So,

yeah, that's, I think, what are the being spiritual, or I'm more spiritual or less spiritual, it's all spiritual. Like, every single, or like, whatever all does say, when you're, when you're off the path, that's the path to you. So you just, yeah, you sure, why not? But if you think you can't, then that'll give you an excuse to not meditate when you're on Adderall. Then you'll have these conditions or meditation is okay. You know, now I can meditate. I'm in a silent place with a Zafu cushion and the wind is blowing through my window and I've had my green tea. Now I'm being very spiritual and it's time to meditate.

Just how about no conditions to look you and do it right? I'll meditate right now. You all can just meditate with me for one, like for a few breaths. There we go. Nothing happened, but you could do that. You could do that in your car. You could do it at the airport. You could do it anywhere.

There's no conditions. If you set the condition, then you could start selling tickets, I guess. But that's how you get a yoga studio going. But you, yeah, all the crazy-ass tantric people that I've read about, they were like getting, they're smacking each other with shoes and stuff. And like, wow, out in the woods. Just singing random stuff. sogs and sleeping in bushes, you know, and that wasn't because they were trying to be

spiritually. That's just where they ended up. So yeah, I don't know. No conditions. You just, it just sucks to meditate, so you want to create a rule about when you can do it, do it on the airplane. You know, also just the thing David, my friend David talks about, I really love, which is suddenly free from fixed mind. You could do that, which is really useful for me. I'm inevitably getting tangled up in some shit that's annoying me. And then when I'm tangled up in it, that's all I think about. And then you can pop out of that anytime you want.

It's not like it goes away, but you're just suddenly, you're back here. It's really cool that we have that capacity. Thanks for the super chat. Well, I'll be damned. We got to pull up this full name here, Josh. Maybe you could pull this thing to the side or something. do that. Who is this? Walker G12. Is that his full name? Walker G12. I love your dog. Thank you for the super chat. A hundred bucks. Thank you so much. Solo streams and mystery boys are the

best. We need the night stream back. Ah, thank you, Walker. Guess what? Good news. Have moved the studio into the new place. Josh, I have to get all, I have to get everything on packed and shit before you come over there, you know. But have moved the studio to the new place, have gotten the synths hooked up, have gotten pretty much everything hooked up except for the camera and the lighting, which is where I'm going to need Josh to help me figure out the best way to do it. So it looks good, the way it looks good here.

And then I've got to get Google to come out and I couldn't get an appointment. I would have done one this week, like a shitty one probably, but I would have done one this week. but I'm getting, I'm going on a family vacation for a week, and then when I get back, I'm getting the internet in. You know how fast the internet is I'm getting, Josh? Two gig. A thousand up!

A thousand MbPPS up. Woo! You ain't going to get that bullshit you were getting on the old night streams. No more of the stuttery fucking dros. A thousand. I'm going to be able to, I could do 20 multi-streams at once with that fucking bandwidth. It's insane. It's coming.

It's already installed in the building. So the night streams are coming back. It's a completely separate spot. So I'm going to have to, it's like just a few minutes from my house, zip over there at night, press a button, and boom, we're back to doing the night streams. I'm sorry for the pause. I was having so much fun doing those,

but it's just no way to do it at my house. So, yeah, it's coming. Thank you for the incredibly generous Super Chat. Thank you. Look. Oh, Walker with 10 Family Hour gift memberships. Everybody, thank Walker. If you got one of these memberships, these people are soldiers.

These are soldiers in the army, in the great army of peace and love and violence. I guess you could call it army somewhat violent if you think blowing up a pyramid is violent. But, you know, maybe you think popping zits is violent or wiping your butt is violent because it's basically the same thing. another night street hey duncan why did you abandon the night stream everything is fire over there the chat is okay cubbage number one thanks for the the super chat what happened to my brain just then thank you uh let everyone in the chat know that i'm scheduled to get internet installed week after next on a tuesday i tried to get up and checking in with fiber to see if they can come earlier not working out.

So this is as soon as I could get internet. Now, I could theoretically do a stream with my phone as the internet, but it's just not going to work. It's going to fuck up. It won't be worth it. So the studio is set up. It's beautiful in there. It looks so cool.

It's so cool. It's a perfect space. But I've got to get internet to stream. I have not abandoned it. I'm renting a relatively expensive store. studio just to do it. So yeah, it's happening. I just, I just, I have to get everything set up. And I need the internet. Please tell everyone, I did not abandon it. I just am moving into a place that's like going to be easier, better, it's going to look better and sound better and work better.

The internet in my old studio sucked so bad. Thank you. Ryan Cosman. Jesus, thank you so much. Those sunglasses are sick. They're going to make me sick. I'm serious. Like, I picked him up like a child. Picky, pick's shit up. I had to ungrease them.

Then I just put them on. Fuck it. I saw Joey Diaz last night. You know he's moving to Austin? Yeah. So cool. Saw him last night. And he was like,

if you ever eat an ass, what do you mean you're not going to eat a cookie off the floor? That's what ass is, a floor cookie He's like, what, shut up, Oh, you don't eat the cookie off the floor, but you'll eat ass I'm so, so happy he's movie here There are things in life that you don't want to be transparent Like your swimsuit or your search history

Speak for yourself, Memo, Paul. I love wearing a nice transparent swimsuit down at the public pool. But when it comes to your wireless bill, transparency is everything. That's why Mint Mobile's wireless plans have no gimmicks and no gotchas. Just high-speed data and reliable coverage

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It's a boy. Currently shitting at work. Huh. Yeah. I hope it was okay. They're always weird to me the work shits. I don't know what that means about me, but I never liked it. I would like to like open a void, you know, in time space.

that I can move through into a kind of like bubble within which no odor or sound could come, like a shitting bubble and like with a bidet in there and shit and then come out of the bubble. It's sealed and drifts off into infinity. Then shit at work, but we're not there technologically yet. So, you know, my shit. I'm sorry, my shit right before the podcast. We're talking about pooping. Yeah, I'm vulnerable.

I'm honest. That's what I did. On the floor. Oh, the floor. Well, it makes me feel powerful. Yeah, but I got to clean it up. Look, man. Look, I'll clean it up.

Okay. I didn't know you were the one cleaning it up. Yeah. But, okay. I don't even have gloves. I have to pick it up and fucking... Your flesh is your glove. Your hand skin is a glove.

You know what I mean? Just wash your hands, but I will clean it up. Thank you. Sorry, I keep doing that. I didn't know you were the one cleaning out. Yeah. Makes me feel powerful. It is in the 48 laws of power.

I think law number 34 is shit on a floor in a public bathroom to show your dominance and fearlessness. Thank you. Boiling milk, an important question for the chat. How many Chihuahuas would it take to overflow an entire school bus? it's well it's gonna depend on there's a variety of chihuahua so we have to get the average size of a chihuahua then just probably the

dimensions of like a classic school bus and you know from that you could you know extrapolate some kind of weight or something and you know to overflow an entire school bus I don't know it's like let me think I guess another way to do it would be you know just let's approximate a school bus

How many rows of seats in a school bus, Josh? I'll find out. Also, are we just stuffing that you always in there, or are they, like, seated? Overflow. Okay, so they're, like, dead in there. Because we're just pushing them in there. I think they're alive. For the sake of this, let's say somehow we're keeping them alive.

Don't look it up, though. Let's use our own minds. Gotcha. So I'm trying to remember my school bus when I had to take a bus to school, and I feel like at around 10 rows, something like that, maybe more. Let's just say how many, do you remember how many, Rose or school by side? Probably like 12 to 15, I would assume.

12, okay, let's just say 12. And in each of those seats, you could theoretically fit three kids, just about, right? Yeah. And so that, let's just take, like, this is. I'd say a kid is 12 Chihuahuas at least. Yeah, that's what I was trying to get at, yeah. Way more than, I'd say. 20?

How much is an average Chihuahua way? It can't be, like, more than, like, eight pounds, right? Less than that, probably. Well, let's say five pounds. Chihuahua weighs five pounds. The average kids like 100 to 120. Yeah, but let's do, yeah, well, let's just go like, because it's going to be young kids and older kids.

They all have to ride the same bus, right? So let's just say average 115 pounds, right? Maybe 115 pounds. Then we're doing three kids, whereas three kids at a seat, averaging 115 pounds each that is 345 pounds per seat 345 for the sake of this let's say 10 10 seats so that's 3,450 pounds then we're going to take how much is a chihuahua way 5 so divide 5 divide 3 3455 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 3 3,000 40 50 690 I feel like you fit more chew No, that's just for the seats.

Oh, okay. So 690 Chihuahuas are going to make it into the seats. And then we've got to look at the top in the aisle. How many people have I lost, I've gained viewers somehow during this. You're Chihuahua, man. It makes no sense. I would say, 690 Chihuahuas. And again, I know, obviously, you're not going to be able to stack Chihuahuas.

But you can double that at least. Yeah, but let's just get through that. Now we've, like, created at least the, you know, one layer of the bus, which is the seats. But then we have the above that, right, in the aisle and also where the bus driver is and the fucking space in the back. And also below the seats because you always can sit below the chairs. Yep, yep, yep. So I'm going to, I'm going to guess, like, if we can do 690 in the seats sitting up, which leads at least like five feet above. and I'm going to say five feet is about the height of the people sitting there, right?

So let's just say five feet above, then three people, you know, how many chihuahuas was it again? 690 for the chairs. 690 for the chairs. So I would double that per seat to get all the way to the ceiling. Well, triple that because you got below the seat too. So it's above and below. Okay, so 690 times three times ten. times 10.

That's 20,700 Chihuahuas in a bus. But we still have to do where the driver is in that 20,700. How many seats? I'm going to put another seat. You know, I'm going to,

I'm going to just being lazy. I'm going to say 30,000 chihuahuas approximately. You could stuff into a school bus. Do you know the answer? Or were you just trying to figure it out before you stuffed a bunch of chihuahuas? How many has to buy?

Good luck. Good luck. Hey Duncan. But thank you, by the way, for the super chat. Hey, Duncan, did you know Stretch Armstrong's jelly innards is sweet? Now why would anyone make a child's toy sweet? I do recall that now that you mention it. I forgot about that. When you broke your Stretch Armstrong, you got a little treat.

Some kind of sweet oil. Some kind of sweet synthetic oil distillate that you would just eat as a kid. because you didn't know better, and your parents were like, oh, I hope he's all right. It's back then nobody cared. Back then nobody cared. They let birds fly into your window and peck your eyes out and just be like, oh, I hope he's all right.

Back when I was a kid, back when I was a kid, it was very common to the, you would open your window and birds would attack you and pluck your eyes out. And very common for parents to come up and see their child's skeletal form in the bed because crows had carried away the child's flesh. Very common when I was. growing. It was a different time. It was a different time. They would catapult you out of your yard sometimes.

Your parents would do that for barbecues. They thought it was funny. It was really pretty powerful medieval trebushes, I think is what they called them. And they would launch you so far into the neighborhood if you're lucky, laying in a tree. But a lot of kids weren't lucky. And wars were fought in neighborhoods between barbecues, kids being launched from one barbecue to the next. One of my friends was was just launched right into a fucking grill. Luckily, it was like cooling down and there's a pool near there. He ran into the pool to put out the flames and then he couldn't swim. So he'd drown.

But that was what it was like when I was coming up. You guys, you kids have it easy. Pull up that wire monkey again, Josh. I want you guys to see something. Pull up that wire monkey. There we go. Look at that. All the wire monkey stuff.

Look at that, guys. All right, let's pull up the Fauci. let's pull up that Fouchy file that I sent you Fuck it You want to do the last one right here Oh shit I didn't see it I mean you could lay them like towels

Also some could be like fat They're pretty small They need to reach the roof also Yeah I think we did the math Boiling Milk I appreciate the super chat But you might want to rewind I think the math was pristine And only a fool

Would try to add on to it Josh and I are world class geniuses When we do calculations, even though it seems like we're just having fun, it isn't fun for us. It's serious. We take it seriously. We take math seriously. We love doing math and show them.

And Josh has, you hold that close to the camera, a certificate of expertise. So, yeah, we don't need to, you don't need to. I appreciate the super chat, everything, but you do, if you need, if you, the thing is, if you knew, you would have done the calculation. You wouldn't have invested in having the world's top mathematicians do the Chihuahua calculation for you, which you got a great deal, by the way. You know, a lot of like shell corporations and you know what that means. CIA offshoots coming me all the time to do calculations. Like how many reptilians can you fit into a Garvoxian void before it implodes?

And that is a whole different calculation because reptilians, they're weight. and the mass change according to their moods. It's a trick question. It answers infinity. Well, we found that out. I mean, to act like it didn't take us up, like, what, a couple of hours and a lot of, a lot of weed to get there. But, yeah, we struggled over that one a little bit.

Let's pull up the Fauci thing. Got a little bit more time here. Okay, so, wait, before you get it rolling, even though I think everyone fucking knows this happened. Maybe some of you don't. So Fauci, Antoine Fauci, was given a preemptive pardon by Joe Biden, which is wild that you could do that. That's just wild. You can pardon someone for crimes before they've been put on trial for the crimes. Like I was, I feel like pardons should have to come after, not before. That just seems like an insane. He's just playing by Monopoly rules. He got the Get out of jail free card thing.

I know, but the get out of jail free card should only, only works if you're in jail. Like, if you're not in jail, the preemptive pardon thing is insane. Because you need to know what you're pardoning someone for, right? And, you know, who knows what, like, a matter, let's just say Fauci committed no crimes in the public sector, but was like, they go to his house. And it's just, he's just been just, just. stabbing mimes to death. He's been traveling around the United States finding mimes, annoyed by mimes.

No one knows how he was doing it or why, but just dismembering them and putting them in strange configurations in his basement, you know, putting weird masks made of human flesh around their face. And, you know, he would not go to jail, right? No, he takes out his little orange card and he goes, here you go. and then pardoned. Done. Anything in that span of the pardon?

I'm pretty sure. I don't know. Maybe there's, it doesn't count for everything, but it's insane. That level of, of power. So he's been given this preemptive pardon,

which is so weird, because it's like, why? He's a doctor. Why do you need to pardon him? What did he do? What's the problem? It did,

this is the Senate, hearing regarding his crimes and the idea I guess the Republicans thought that because he was pardoned he couldn't plead the fifth it's some kind of legal shit it's so because he can't plead the fifth he would be forced to answer for all the things he's being accused of but he pleaded the fifth and is now theoretically going to be held in contempt of court or whatever but this was a just a complete public lashing of Fauci. And I'm not sure if he did the right thing pleading the fifth because, like, some of these things I think he needed to respond to and he couldn't. And so he just, it just, for me, the main takeaway, they will show this shit.

No one wants to hear my opinion on this. The main takeaway is the things that these people are saying used to get your, accounts deleted during the pandemic. That's the most interesting thing about it. The thing these people are saying would get you beyond canceled during the pandemic. That's what's fucking crazy about this. And really, like, I think a lot of people didn't like watching this shit because all the pandemic trauma got brought back up.

But yeah, let's just roll a little bit. This is, uh, what's his name, Ram Paul? Yeah, uh, Ron Paul's son. Quick question. Who is that? I know. She's a beautiful lady. Wow.

Nobody knows. Don't look at it, Josh. Her lips puffed. Yeah, that's what I think it is. Wow. Okay. All right, let's roll a little bit of it. The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

So I'll help you God. Take me off the screen for a moment there. Josh, I have to do my hair. Dr. Anthony Fauci, you're recognized for five minutes for your opening statement. You want to hear all this? Yeah, I want to play his opening statement. Okay. Take me off the screen, Josh.

Members of the committee, I served at the NIH for over 54 years, 38 of those as director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. Over that period, I proved that I believe in and respect the value of legitimate congressional oversight. In fact, I testified before and or briefed Senate and House congressional. Nobody wants to hear this shit. That's all he said, by the way. After this, he just pleads the fifth through the entire thing. But let's listen to fucking Ram Paul start this public beating.

It's pretty interesting. Let's just let him go for it. There's no shortcut for saving time. But saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at bellairdirect.com. for the White House COVID-19 response team or as chief medical advisor to the president.

Have you refused this pardon or do you have any reason to believe this full and unconditional pardon, this grant of immunity, would somehow require you to plead the Fifth Amendment? Here he goes. On the advice of counsel, I respectfully declined to answer

based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment of the Constitution. Yeah, so that's pretty much the whole trial. Just jump ahead now. Let's find a good juicy bit of someone laying into him. Which of these guys really? This guy looks, look at this dude. He is Senator Langford.

Lanky Lankford. He is. Everybody else just has their conclusion at the beginning of it. All right, skip ahead. Let's find. Just look for when their faces get really angry. This is way more boring than I thought it would be. I guess I just tuned into the right moments.

That dude got him pretty good. Go back to that bald dude. Senator Scott. I can either send stuff to Tony on his private Gmail or handed to him at work or as house. He is too smart to the colleagues sending stuff that could cause trouble. Dr. Fasheed, did Dr. Moran's relationship with Peter Dasek concern you? Yes or no? What?

The counsel is the client to answer based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution. I did find. Let me try this. If Dave Moran's ever bring documents? Why do you keep having to look down and read it? You'd think he would have it memorized. Yeah, but then, like just, he could be looking at his nails, looking up, do something cool with it, like Day Chappelle did the physics or something. Well, I did replace a few of these. Let's keep it going.

The next time he does it, I'll try to read some replacements I have. Okay. It's to your house. Got me to mute it? Yeah. On the advice of corpses are respectfully to climb your torches based upon my rights under the Fifth Enchamment of the Bone Cathedral. Work at NIAID to your personal cell phone. On the advice of counsel, I respectively deny the slaughter based upon the rights under the Fifth Amendment at the dead constitution.

Thank you. Just about your work at NID that went to your personal cell phone ever become part of federal records. On the advice of Skullman, I respectfully require a goblet blasted on my crimes under the Fish and Shamment to the Doom solution. A personal email account while serving as director. On the advice of shadows, I respectfully declined repentance based upon the throne under the Fifth Commandment of the Black Dominion. You ever received work-related communications on that Gmail account from David Morinz? On the advice of corpses, I respectfully deny your peasants based upon my rights under the fifth enchantment of the blood constitution. Do you preserve any work-related communications on that Gmail account from David Morinz?

On the advice of vultures, I respectfully deny the screaming based upon my rights under the Fifth Commandment of the... the blood cathedral. Morans ever provide you with documents outside of those two ways. Okay, I don't have anymore. I don't have any of that. We don't have to keep watching this fucking garbage, just pop culture slop. Just another fucking stupid thing they threw into the pig cage for the old pigs to snort about. We don't have to watch this goddamn boogey shit.

Fucking, just fall guy for the whole goddamn state. Give me a break. Give me a break How many of those motherfuckers Grilling him have made so much money for Big Pharma? I just want to know that. How many of the people grilling him are like investing in the fucking

companies that the whole thing? It's just the word to say Fauci The little goblin Fauci is the only one to blame. It was all of us. It was all of us. We all got sucked in. It was a mass hysteria event. Not to say

he didn't get, I mean, he's fucked up. He made so much money apparently from it. I had no idea that he won all these award like cash. Do you know that? Apparently like and again because he wasn't responding it could be bullshit but apparently he was given all these medical awards. Yeah. He made millions. Like I had no idea that was that was going on, which is so funny. Did he win the Nobel Peace Prize? Look it up. All right. No. No. He won a million dollar prize in 2021 defending science and public. health leadership. That's amazing that they have a million dollar prize to

defend science. That's the craziest thing ever. You know, tune into the mystery boys. We covered this in a little bit more. But the whole defending science bullshit is just, it's like defending a, like you don't have to

defend a recipe for cake. You know, like there's cake recipes they work or they don't. 1.370. millions and a fucking pardon. I guess he's just the fall guy, right? He probably knew it wasn't going to go well for him,

just had to scrape up as much dough as he possibly could, slink off to his manor house and forget about the whole fucking thing. Who gives a fuck? I mean, the really weird thing is this is all real. The evidence shows this all happened. Like, during the pandemic,

we didn't know this was going on. we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're just a dumbass, I'm susceptible to propaganda. I thought, all right, great, this fouchy dude's on the case, you know, I don't want to say anything publicly about it, because I don't want to have my life destroyed, you know, I knew he did such a good job with AIDS that I'm like, oh, he's gonna kill this. He didn't, he didn't, he didn't do a good, good job with AIDS. Well, it depends on how you look at it. Jesus. God, Josh. Two minutes self-band. Yeah, look up his

fucking AIDS shit. It's scary and weird. But I guess he's just like the court necromancer or something. I don't know. But it is odd that some people seem like really invested and still still... You know, my

idiot understanding of science is that you, once you find out your hypothesis was incorrect, was wrong based on your experiment, you're like, yeah, I guess I was wrong about that. You accept it, you change based on the result of your experiments. You change. Oh, we were doing that wrong. As it turns out, that was wrong. So you find out new information. You change. But people are still fucking defending this dude, which I don't understand. It's like, it's Like, it's okay to think it first.

Like, yeah, that guy was protecting us. And then you find out he was getting loaded. But I thought that's how science works, depending on which corporation tells you, which facts you can use and you can determine what the outcome is supposed to be. And then you go by their rules. That is the new science. Okay. It's a much simpler science.

You don't have to do any of the research. You just get told. This is the weirdest thing. It's like, it's this whole, we need to defend science thing. And the way we're going to defend science is by telling us. you to shut the fuck up if you say anything that goes against what we say is the science. It's so paradoxical. It's the upside down world stuff. It's just like, you know, I don't, I've been, I'm always, I'm so many times I'm wrong about my assumptions regarding things.

I don't even know if I'm doing 50-50 at this point. So when you find out you're wrong, you're just like, yeah, I was wrong. I don't know. It was fucking wrong. People come at me online sometimes. And I'm just like, yeah, I was wrong. And that really shuts down the thing. Yeah, I don't know.

That was dumb. That was wrong. And then it's hard for them because like, but why? If you ever gotten an argument, you know, if you're married, you know this argument. But you're like, yeah, I was wrong. shouldn't have done that.

No, but why? I thought the other thing to do instead of saying you're wrong is to change the subject and then try to win in that argument to then win the argument that you were just having. Oh, yeah, that's, that helps a lot. Because one thing that really makes people come to like a good place in a relationship is when one of them is right and one of them is wrong. That balances down. Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I love you dirtworms, seven, seven, seven. I see you. But yeah, I don't know. To watch the whole trial, if nothing else, it's a public spectacle. It's just, you know, we're all supposed to believe,

I guess. All right, we did it. Now it's over. It's another of those things, you know, we're like, okay. Well, all right, he got a pardon, I guess.

I mean, it seems like in the hearing you're saying he's responsible for the deaths of countless people and got rich during that because of his gain of function work over at the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

And a lot of people a lot of actual doctors and scientists. Their careers were ruined and wrecked because they were saying things that went against shit. He was saying, but, you know, I got the old pardon because like an old senile dude said he didn't have to pay for his crimes. I guess we're done with COVID now. Okay, thanks.

Feels like that. You know, they have them walk out. They haven't walked out of the room by himself. That's the punishment. That's the punishment for doing fucked up gain of function research and lying about doing gain of function research is you just have to sign up. I'd silently walk out of a fucking room, go back to your mansion with millions of dollars,

go count your fucking ducats, take a little trip on a yacht somewhere or you're not going to run into people. Felt like that. I don't know. Federal charges, what's this? What is this? So a doctor was giving fake COVID jabs and then got arrested, and he was just... Oh, cool. Yeah.

Yeah, I think... No joke. When my dumbass went to get the fucking vaccine, I'm pretty sure the second one I didn't get the fucking jab. Because the guy, right before he put the needle in, I don't know, I made him laugh or something. He's like, you're funny. And then I didn't feel the needle. He's like, there you go. I swear to God, I didn't feel it.

There wasn't a spot or anything. He's like, there you go. I'm like, wow, I didn't even feel that one. Well, you know what was weird? I went to get a, have you ever heard of a Dexa scan where they scan your body fat percentage and stuff like that? and they had all these different types of things you can do and one of them is they give you some type of white blood cells or something from the stem of the fetus, the baby,

the amyical cord. Yeah. And she said, she goes, and all of our umbilical cords are harvested by non-vaccinated, from non-vaccinated women. I was like, what? What? What?

What would you mean? Wait, what? Yeah. What? Why would you even say that? Yeah, yeah. Why is that a part of your pitch? You know, I love harvesting an umbilical.

cord down on my baby farm I'll harvest in umbilical cords and put them in the barn you wind them up like a lasso and send them out to sea and then rich people shoot them up so they can finally see they puff their lips like

but holes and that is so pretty oh god look guys I got to get out of here man Josh has an appointment and I got to get back. You want to do these three real quick? What? You want to do these three real quick? Oh yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Thank you, Ben. He says it's a pleasure to watch a pair of mathematical geniuses. Look, I know, I know. I know it feels good to watch us do math. And yeah, we'll do it again. But I appreciate that. Look at our only fans, by the way. Let's just say we're a little more comfortable when we're doing our math and our only fans.

Zeal, no, I haven't read, is asking me if I have I read Book of Lies or Diary of a Drug Feen? Isn't that Crowley stuff? No, I have not. I have Lieber for us. That's pretty much it. I'm a dilettant when it comes to Crowley. I'll admit it. But I do like talking about them, thinking about them.

reading it shit from time to time. Oh, Gigasaw 65. You're trying to get me embroiled in that thing. Are you staying at Dad's Couch or Mom's House? I mean, I'm at the... I'm on both. You know, I'm at the studios. We do Mystery Boys over there.

You know? That's all I have to say about that. I will say this, though. It does that kind of stuff. I think it really rippled. the collective pawn because a lot of people have like unresolved divorce trauma from their parents and I think a lot of people felt that based on what the comments that are in stuff. We'll get into that later.

Hoodage sweatshirt guy says, well, you consider releasing five, three-hour podcast every week asking for a friend. I'll consider it. It might happen. I mean, look, once I get the night stream going again, that's. It's going to be some more of this. Then we're going to have this. And then you can always go to the mystery boys. And let me tell you, tonight's a premiere episode.

It's good. You can watch it tonight. Premier is tonight. Mystery Boys. And guess who came on the show, Josh? Who? I don't know if there's a spoiler. I won't say anything else about it.

Donnie Rothschild. Oh, shit. Yeah, so it's pretty good. I hate that guy. You're such a dick. and you're going to make me do spoilers but you're being a dick. He's a wonderful dude

and he's helped my family out an awful lot. So he's great. Do we do them all? You guys are the best. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you. This is an incredibly generous and active feed.

We'll be back next week. No, we won't be back. We're dark next week because I got going on on my last family vacation of the summer. That after that, hitting the ground running.

Big thank you to John. Josh would be such a great producer. I'll see you guys. Week after next. Watch the mystery boys. If you're missing me, I'll be back soon. Have a wonderful, wonderful weekend, and God bless you all. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple.

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