Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 768: Get Rich Today

Episode Date: September 4, 2026

There ain't no accidents! If you're here it's because your heart is open and your back is strong! Heart like a firefly, immune to SPs, corrosive to thetans!Seattle family! Duncan is playing Emerald City Comedy Club starting TONIGHT! September 4, 5 & 6! Click here for tickets.Check out Mystery Boys with Duncan and Kurt Metzger on YMH Studios!This episode is brought to you by: Visit BrooklynBedding.com and use promo code DUNCAN for 30% off sitewide. You can support the DTFH show and let them know we sent you in the survey after checkout! Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at MintMobile.com/Duncan. That’s it there’s no catch. Ready to upgrade your wallet and maybe your ride? For a limited time only head to Ridge.com and use code DUNCAN at checkout for 10% off your order AND a chance to win Ridge’s biggest sweepstakes ever, a Lamborghini Huracan Sterrato, a Hennessey Velociraptor, A Ford Bronco or $100,000 in cash. No purchase necessary to enter, but every dollar you spend gets you more entries. That’s Ridge.com and use DUNCAN. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them our show sent you.

Guys, you're about to see me again in about three seconds. But before you see me again, I want to plug my upcoming show this weekend. I'm going to be in Seattle at the Emerald City Comedy Club Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. You can find the links to tickets below. I'll see you soon, Seattle. Are we live, Josh? What's up? Welcome to the day stream.

I am your host, Duncan Trussle, and I love you. my sweet, sweet, beautiful people. I really do. I love you. From the depths of my heart. I haven't been jaded. Didn't get me. Did it get you?

I haven't been broken down. They tried. Drop my pitch, Josh. Drop my pitch, Josh. I can't do it with this voice. I haven't been broken down. They tried. They tried to do it to YouTube.

Well, you didn't let them, did you? They tried to melt your brain with negativity. They tried to get you addicted to dopamine harvested technologies. They got you magnetized to your screams. Your brain's screaming. You just wanted to help, and you feel like you can't. Even though you can, you do it every time you smile at an old naked lady in your bed. You do it every time you open up those withered old legs and shove your head into our thighs,

filling her with a flickering of your tongue like a side. snake licking an avocado. You've done it. You did it and you continue to do it and that's why you're here on the day stream. If you're somebody who just accidentally stumbled upon this, there ain't no accidents. You're here because you're one of us. You're here because your heart is open and your back is strong. You got that soft front and the hard back and even better than that, your heart is a rock.

Man, old lady, rigid, hard, your labial folds engorge today with joy and light, because that is what we're here to do. Share the light. Pass the light on. Sing with me now, Josh. This little light of mine. I'm going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. This little light of mine. of mine I'm gonna let it shine this little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine

this little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine let it shine you're gonna let it shine today you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna go in to this weekend this labor weekend with your heart of glow like a firefly glowing above some celestial garden you're not going to let the suppressives get you down you're not going to let people whose bodies are covered in body feetens bodies covered with fragmental portions of alien intelligence sent into a volcano by god and burst out all over the planet like a pimple popped in the backseat of a sweat of school bus. No, no, no. Your Thaitons right at this very moment, any of that might have clinging to attach themselves to you. They're flying from away to your neighbor's house. They can cling to his old sour ass. Proud of his leaf blower. Your neighbor is proud of his leaf blower. And that's the kind of world you've incarnated in. You came here because you wanted to. You came here because you agreed to. You came here because this

was your mission. It wasn't a drop into some timeline where everything's okay. All those pussy coward cook babies that are going to be born after all hard work, they're not going to know what it's like to have a neighbor who's proud of their leafblower. They're not going to know what it's like to look over in the yard and see a neighbor looking at his leafblower as though he's looking at a trophy handed to him by Jehovah herself. No, they're going to live in a world. They're going to live in a world of joy, peace, openness, liberation, a world liberated from the great pyramid of Giza and all other pyramids like it. They're going to wake up in a pyramid-free world and you're part of that.

You came here because you know there is one source, the malignancy, one cancerous tumor that juts from the sweet surface of Mother Gaia. And it's the great pyramid of Giza. And right now, what can you do? You're thinking, what can I do? How do I help? What do I do? You plant the seed.

And the seed is a simple like, a simple subscribe, a simple retweet. You send this out into the world right now. It's called the butterfly effect, you stupid fuck. It's the butterfly effect. A little butterfly, a little butterfly flitters those little butterfly wings. Don't know what he's doing. He was a caterpillar. not that long ago, a caterpillar, mulling and complaining, oh, I'm so tired of crawling on leaves.

I don't like the taste of leaves. I don't like the way leaves feel against my poor delicate stomach and chewing on leaves. And he got tired, he got sleepy. He said, I got to take a nap. What the fuck is coming out of my asshole? And he looked down at all the white strands cocooning him up. I don't know what the fuck this. What kind of leaf did I eat to death?

And he fell asleep. And when that caterpillar awoke, on a caterpillar no more. It was a little butterfly flitting and fluttering around, flitting and flopping around. And it made a little flit. And that flit made the air around it move just slightly. And that air around it began to move out over the sea.

And it moved to gain strength. and it became a hurricane. It became a hurricane, and it flooded and wreaked some beautiful city, washing the people away. Now, that's the example of the bad butterfly effect, but there's good butterfly effects, too. These reptilian pieces of shit out there, these reptilian off-operatives out there, these botten sold, cuckleds to the devil, they don't know. They don't want you to know. Where there is great evil, there is great good. Where is great horror and suffering?

There is great joy. Not in the horror and suffering, but by the very nature of the universe itself, where there is one thing, its opposite must exist. And where a little shitty butterfly that doesn't appreciate what's happened to it, that doesn't understand that it is in a universe where a tiny little gnawing little green, little leaf-eat and bitchworm can turn into a beautiful, beautiful butterfly, that implies something. It implies miracle upon miracle upon miracle,

upon miracle, and that's what you're in. A miracle, a fractal miracle, a mirafract is what I call it. You're in a mirafract, a miracle fractal, miracle upon miracle, and that's just what you are. Not some dumb shit butterfly that doesn't know it's going to flood New Orleans, but a conscious, sentient outpouring of universal intelligence capable of making decisions in every single moment.

You want to flap them little flabby flap arms are yours and cause somebody to feel sad? Go ahead. Go join the pyramid defenders. Why don't you take a little trip to Egypt and rub your balls against the pyramid? I hope they chaf. But for the rest of us,

We know it's a miracle. We know it's a miracle that we came spraying out of our father's hard throbbing, vainy, phallus, or cock if you're an ass. That hot white seed filled her mama. Filled the good. Like a mayonnaise jar she was filled with that hot, saltish spunk. And from that you emerged. just who you are today, looking at yourself in the mere dissatisfied. Shame on you!

Looking at that body of yours, that beautiful, harmonious intertwining of perfect connections forming you, that extension of the universe itself. And you look at it and you're saying, my nipples are too big. Shame on you, not because you got those pepperoni pizza size of nipples, Not because your nipples look like clown noses, dog, penises, but because you don't have the realization yet that you're perfect and you live in a perfect universe and that ain't your fault. So I guess I reverse the shame on you and shame on me.

It's the culture. It's got your ground down. It's got you convinced there's no magic in the world. And most importantly, they don't want you to know you can rich, your life and get rich today from shrimp farming. Josh, take that thing off my voice and pull up this video. Guys, this is really important. Right now, you know, if you do follow the news,

you've probably noticed that maybe the economy isn't that good. Isn't that good? These kinds of things don't affect me. I inherited $300 million from my great-grandfather. I have never had financial strain, worry, or suffering. I never worry about money at all, but I know some of you right now, it's tough. And because you're not willing to do the one thing that you could do that would make you have all the money you need and be able to buy a house, which is stop going to Starbucks, you find yourself in various states of financial instability.

And so, guys, I just want to share something with you. I've been doing this as a hobby. Let me reiterate, I inherited $300 million from a great grade. I don't have to do anything. My kids won't have to do anything. We figured out tax shelter situations. When I die, the money isn't taxed. So we keep the money within the family.

It's called generational wealth. It's really great if you're in my family. Now, let's show these people something. Guys, this is going to change your life. This is going to change your life. You know, the, there was, I'm sure there was a time when people would see lightning strike, smoke would emerge, there'd be a fire, and they're like, what the fuck was that? How did that happen? And then somebody was like, oh my God, if you just take sticks and rub them together, they get hot. And there might be a way to rub them together even more. So they also catch on fire. And thus we began to set shit on fire, which hasn't been great for the world, but it's good for cooking. Now, This thing that you're about to see, I would call it the, I feel like fucking Prometheus right now. I feel honestly like I'm giving you something that maybe I shouldn't give you.

Maybe I shouldn't show you this. Maybe you're not ready for this level of wealth. You know, when I inherited the $300 million, I'll never forget that phone call. You really don't. And they're just like, yeah, you've inherited a lot of people probably in a lot of people. and other timelines might consider to be an insanely unethical amount of money that you've inherited, that you haven't earned at all, and that probably more than likely should in some way, shape, or form be used to renew schools.

That's what I said that. I did, you know, when they were saying, I went, where's my fucking green? And I got it, Josh. I got it. And you know what I did with it? What? rental properties. I immediately bought rental properties in lower income areas. Isn't that fucking cool?

I think that's the Grant Cardone strategy. I don't know if you ever heard of him. Never heard of that. What is it? He does that. Some people call him a slum lord, but I call him a great investor. Don't ever say that in my presence again. Sorry. Because I hear that sometimes and it's such bullshit. It is. Dude, to mold! It's just shut the fuck up. Give me my fucking rent check. Just shut up like you want to fucking fuck with me this is i just had this conversation with this fucking filipino lady she's got like single mom three fucking kids uh has not been sending the rent check and i happen to be driving by one of my apartments and i remember oh that's that fucking bitch who hasn't been paying her rent and you know i'd be like what you're going to collect

your own rent checks like yeah that's the kind of person i am i'm a good person a lot of these slum lords you know what they don't do they don't collect their own checks send somebody else a goon send somebody else a goon i i am the goon yeah and because i'm a good person so i go to her door and this is the way i knock when i'm coming to one of my tenants who hasn't paid i do that they know it's me yeah did you guys hear that when you hear that you're about to get evicted is what that is uh i don't know I'm at your door now. Open up.

Sometimes I'll even sing that, too. You're about to get thrown out on the street. And so I go, you know, she comes to the door. She's all shaking and fucking weird. She's got some kind of, I don't know what old person shit happening. But she's tired. She works two jobs. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And it's just like, dude, work three. Yeah. Which I've said to her. I was like, okay. So I remember, I'm in the living room. She's like, I don't know how she's old old bad. I managed to have so many kids.

Maybe they're not hers. I don't care. But she's like, uh, kids are fucking screaming. It smells like shit in there. I am allergic to mold. So like my eyes are fucking watering, you know.

And it would be easy for me to do this at the door, but I'm a good person. So I, you know, I just said, I said to her, listen, you are late by four days on your rent. And,

um, you know, you can read the fucking lease. You know what that means. So I guess, give me the money. I don't know. Do you do you need a translator in here? And she's like, I speak perfect English. I'm like, okay, what do you want to fucking? Why don't you go get a speak English job? Yeah. I just want my check, you know? And she's like, actually, I used to be a

professor. I'm like, okay, professor broke. Go get my check. And so one of the kids starts crying. She's about to go tend to him. I'm like, oh, I guess so you're just going to go take care of your kid now, not paying the rent. And so she does the fake tears thing and all that fucking stuff. And she's like, I'm working two jobs. I'm doing everything I can. And I look around. I'm like, uh, working from home.

Yeah. And she's like, no. I'm not. I'm like, oh, interesting. So I guess right now you could be where? Yeah. Work. Working.

They try to guilt you. Yeah. She's trying to guilt. I'm not going to work on me, baby. I was like, get a third fucking job. Yeah. You know what I mean? And, uh, put the kids to work.

Those are all people that can work. Listen, and by the way, I wanted to say that, but then I realized, like, what am I your life coach? Yeah, that's true. It's not my fucking job. Don't make me do the work. Like, obviously, put your fucking kids to work. Yeah. You know, I mean, there's so many lemonade stand.

I don't care. I just want the check. If you can't pay out of my building, you know? Yeah. And so I invest. I guess what I'm trying to tell you guys is I invested the money that I inherited through a business manager, because I don't know enough about doing that kind of stuff. I had found a business manager, one of my friends told me about, and said, look, I inherited an insanely large amount of money.

Can you just put this into low-income housing and maximize profits, you know, within the law? Because they will see you. They're so litigious, these people. And so, yeah, then every month I just start getting these phone calls and about the properties were buying. And then boom, all of a sudden, just like every month, I'm getting even more money, Josh. do you understand like i inherited this much that's not even gone yeah it just starts piling on top of that money it's so crazy i don't i just called a dude and it just piles up and up and up and up and up and up and then with the more money that i get do you know i do what buy more rental properties

get it yeah yeah it continues the cycle of wealth yes of wealth yeah is it's the wealth. And so again, I'm just saying that so you guys understand. I do have some business acumen. Like I do. I don't talk about it on the podcast a lot, but I am a, I'm basically like, I would say, like, top tier businessman. And I just, I don't wear the suit. But, um, yeah, it's just not that hard. And so you got to start somewhere if you are too weak or too lazy to inherit, then I think this is a great option for you guys. I want to introduce you to shrimp farming. Yes, skip over this. Skip over this because I can't play that music. Just keep it low here. This one, I didn't realize there's music. So guys, what you're seeing here is the

beginning of a shrimp farm. All you need is some of these little shrimp feed, which, by the way, is human shit. Pause it there. So again, a lot of you guys, I probably don't have a, don't have of money by shrimp food, which is like, don't say that at a bar. But you can shit. Just take a shit in this. You're in Texas, especially, just take a shit outside on your patio, and then it dries, and then you break it into pellets. Shrimps love it.

They will eat all of your shit. And so it's like, don't buy, if you go to a store to buy shrimp feed, you're just buying other people's shit. that someone broke in the pellets. So use your own shit. It's free. So, yeah, keep going. What if I, I see, because there's an aquarium here, right?

So what if I skip that step, the middleman, and I just put the shrimp straight in my ass? So I can eat. Yeah, you're talking about as shrimp. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's, one, there's a few great things about doing that. One of them being that you no longer have to take shits. No.

Because the shrimp, eat it. Well, there's some downsides, not to be a bummer, but, you know, it's, it's hard to get used to the feeling of shrimp squirming around in your butthole. But, and then, you know, I guess you could say you do have to shit, because eventually you do have to release all the shrimp. Yeah. And some, one of my friends does this. And, uh. But then you get paid. to shit. Well, yeah, exactly. I mean, that's a, that let me tell you something, man, that,

that is a job you're not going to get fired from. No. Shitting. So, yeah, you just shit, shit the shrimp out and wash them off and take them to the grocery store. H.E.B. They'll just buy it right out of your car. So, yeah, my friend goes every week down to HEB with a, with a cooler full of as shrimp. And just, they're just like, great. They don't ask where it came from or anything. So if you don't want to do that, this is a great method. You've got to get an aquarium. Again, this is like if you if you can't afford an aquarium, you could start off with a bunch of Dixie cups. Like it doesn't have to be an aquarium. There's shrimp or they just, they're easy to raise. Keep going here. I want to think Brooklyn betting, not just for supporting this episode of

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Go to Brooklyn Betting.com. Use my promo code Dunkin and check out to get 30% off site-wide during the Brooklyn Bedding Labor Day sale. That's all the way to September 13th. Again, that's offer code Duncan to get 30% off site-wide. Again, that's Brooklyn Betting.com and promo code Dunkin for 30% off. site wide support this show and let them know we sent you in the survey after checkout brooklyn bedding.com promo code dunk it bathtub you put in your bathtub uh here we have um you know you got a cum flakes yeah those are com flakes and so you again another easy thing you just if you if you aren't capable of producing semen if you're not a semen producing person, then you can go and find a semen producing person to jerk off onto the patio

next to your shit that you're drying for your shrimp food. And you don't need this filter system. That's a bunch of horse shit. Look at the ocean. It's filled with plastics and garbage and the shrimp are doing fine. This fucking asshole scientist is going too far with drops and you don't need any of that. You can grow these things in your ass. Skip over this. Give me a fucking break. Nobody has time for that. Not in this economy. Keep going. So there's your filter system. Now jump to another shrimp farming video.

Just trying to give you guys an idea. This is well within your reach. If you live in a place, any place, if you're in a cave, whatever. That's a big shrimp farm. I want to show you where this is my friend. Look at that. Look at all that shit. Now jump forward a little bit, Josh.

For those of you listening, we're talking about, you're just seeing a net. with shrimp hopping in it above an aquarium. Somebody's pulled out an underdeveloped shrimp. A weirdly muscular dude is waving over a tank full of shrimp. And now we have more shrimp shots and dudes leaning over an aquarium full of shrimp with nets. So for the listening audience, that's what we're looking at. It's just weirdly a kind of some fucking weird dudes standing over the shrimp farm. And yeah, they both.

they do, I will admit, they seem a little out of it or something. Like something else is going on. Like they just saw somebody drown someone in the shrimp farm, which, by the way, doesn't hurt the flavor of the shrimp. Now, this, one of the things that I did with some of my tenants is I did propose to them that if they maintained an indoor shrimp farm that I would charge them $50 less a month. And they said yes. How crazy is that?

They just said yes. $50 less a month. They said yes. Perfect. Dude, no, this is the crazy. Not to get back to how wealthy I am and how easy it is for me to make money with that wealth. But they're, okay, they're, I'll give an example. someone someone wants to get their house painted right okay so they have X amount of money to get their

house painted let's just say for the sake of this conversation they have $6,000 to get their house painted the amount of paint it would cost to paint the house in supplies is maybe a thousand dollars if you're ordering it through my sources right meaning that you're going to make four or five thousand dollars you know you're making so much fucking money right so what i do uh and i'm you you could if you inherit you should do this too what i do is i find people who are desperate for money and who can paint and i say to him i will pay you you're ready are you ready for this minimum wage to go paint this house do you get it now josh So look, let me explain

Why did you pay them in shrimp? Well, I tried that. These fucking assholes, they don't understand. I tried that. But it's not a bad idea. And honestly, I think we should get to that place where we do pay a part, like some, you know,

whatever word you want to give for it. But low-income people in shrimp instead of dollars, at least for welfare and stuff. Yeah. We'll get into that later. So let's see, the minimum wage and I'll give you an example here. Oh, yeah, $7.25 an hour.

So you go to these people and you're like, hey, check it out. I'm going to give you $7.25 an hour to paint this house. So it ends up costing you maybe $1,500 total. You had to pay these people and you had to get the supplies, right? they give you $6,000 and you can also add extra charges

for like their workers having to do overtime. Right. Right? So the workers do overtime. Do I give them the overtime cash? No. That goes to me.

They don't even know that's happening. They don't even know. They don't even know any of this. They have no idea that what's happening other than they need to paint the house and they do it. and you just boom you make that much money guys it's that easy you could say more money if you make it a

nonprofit and then get people to donate their time in order to do the work and then they feel good their payment is they feel good about themselves that's my interns there you go yeah interns that's my interns yeah i have so many interns i have so many like i don't even know how many 50 100 interns that just they just they don't want money yeah they're even asked for for those just joining us guys we're talking about how you can get rich from shrimp farming or inheriting money. And once you inherit that dough, which we call generational wealth, and it's a good thing, if you are in a rich family, we then, you can take that money and use it to pay people pennies on the dollar and just send people to do jobs.

and the funniest thing is this is where this is this had me I woke up last last night laughing when I realized that some of my tenants ended up working on my paint shop meaning I was paying myself you know what I mean because like I give them the money then they give that back to me in the form of rent isn't that fucking cool I am making so much money it's crazy I used to worry about money all the time before I inherited before I was strong enough and disciplined enough to inherit. And it is just the craziest thing. Like now when I hear people who are like complaining about not having enough money, I'm always like, start a shrimp farm.

Inherit. both it's really it's really simple like i'll give you an example judge pull up how much they pay a starbucks employee a lot of you guys love Starbucks and let me give you a little tip if you want to buy a house you stop going to Starbucks you'll be rich in a matter of weeks 15 and 22 hours per hour now pull in how much does a Starbucks generate a day i just want to give you guys an example net with net profit Starbucks per day okay So a high-performing high-traffic Starbucks makes between 5,000 and 8,000 per day in revenue. So let's just say $6,000, put it in the middle.

So they make $6,000 a day at Starbucks. Now, go back to what they pay the employees, $22 per hour. Okay, so what does that come out to? Like $160 a day with, it means that they're probably paying their employees like $1,500 a day. let's just say 2,000 health care or whatever, go back to that profit. Go back to that job. Guys, it's not that hard to get rich. 5,000, 8,000 per 6,000.

So you're getting $4,000 a day. They run themselves. You just have to call the business manager and say, I want a Starbucks. And then they'll be, just say, call me when the Starbucks is going. And then they call you and like, okay, Starbucks is going. You're like, okay, great. it and then you just look at the sheet of money of the of black the black sheet it's all just the money you're making and uh yeah it just adds to the money but so you get do you guys get that right

this is the part that to me makes me love america and love this country because i just want to say this again you can get people to work in your store and pay them infinite intestinally less than what you're making, even though they're the ones running the business from the top down. They're literally, you're just at home or on the golf course or whatever, and they're working. Do you see what I'm saying? I'm sorry if I seem like I mean condescending, guys. They're working.

And then, because you've used your inheritance money to buy rental properties, I'm thinking about buying some rental properties around my Starbucks just so I I know that my employees are going to live in the place where they have to pay me rent. You're creating an ecosystem is what I see. Yes, I am. A beautiful ecosystem. And guys, I just, you can do this. It's not that hard.

You just need to inherit. And once you get that inheritance, call a business manager and tell them to buy low-income rental units. whatever. Just say, I want to pay people the bare minimum to run a variety of businesses for me where I make the most profit. And they just do it. And then you get this sheet every month in the mail that shows you how much money you're making. And I'm sorry, I'm going to go to the chat. Now, one weird book says, landlords suck. Oh, oh God, that hurts, that hurts, one weird book. that really does. That really, I feel like somebody shoved an icicle into my heart to hear one weird look

of fish fan, no doubt, benefiting no doubt from a rental unit. I imagine that you're not taking care of, one weird look. I imagine that you're doing murals, unauthorized murals on the wall. I bet you're in there all fucking hairy and stinky. And let me tell you something, one weird look. Let me tell you, you'd be evicted right now and I will check, I will find your IP address, I'll see if you're in one of my

units, and I will evict you immediately and I'll find a way to do it. I will find a way to do it because already I know you've got a cat. The play smells like cat shit. You're probably an artistic person, which landlords, we laugh at you artists. So you're in there with your paints.

Painting your little crayon drawings. Do you like my drawing by the expression of all the shit you didn't say? and you have spilled patchouly, no doubt, on the floor. And getting the fucking stink of your vapes and patchouly out of my fucking unit is going to cost me probably $800. I'm going to have to get a fucking ionizer. I'm going to have to get the walls re-fucking paint it. And so I feel sorry for your landlord.

And so tenants suck. How about that? And that comes from all landlords. What you think of us, we think of you. Power dynamics a little different. But yeah, you should probably think before you say those things, guys. Thank you for those listening. I'm looking at the chat.

Carmic Patsy says music equals bullshit. I mean, go ahead, listen to music. Hey, I have an idea. Here's what you do. Because I think for a lot of you, this is your idea of a perfect America. Your perfect America is where you go to work at a job you like

makes me laugh doing something productive for your community and you I don't know profit share or whatever like Dr. Bronner's you profit share and now you're everyone's getting

the people like me don't make money anymore if you do that if you've started to do that if I'm sorry this one always chokes me up you know i have kids i keep them fed and one thing that keeps me up at night i do worry that people will be like i don't think it it makes sense for us to run the business and you get all the money you ever think that josh about your tenants or you ever think that no i had the idea

it's not my fault that your brain doesn't work like mine your thing is your labor so i will use your labor to achieve my dreams. Yes. Yeah. But the thing that does kind of make me uneasy is every once in a while I worry, like, how long will people fall for this trick? And eventually it could happen that people are like,

hey, you know, we run the Starbucks. You've come in here twice, and both times you yelled at us. so we're not going to we're not just you're not going to make all the money anymore and you're like well but no because this is my Starbucks I'll just get more people

and they're like actually we're just not going to leave we're going to take it from you because it's it's our place like it doesn't make sense that you you didn't even pay this building was built years before you bought it and those workers also

they weren't paid fairly And you know what I'm saying? But none of that matters because we're going to have robots to take over all of that. And so I just have just had to put up with that until I can get my lineup ready. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. You're calming me down. Thank you. Because it's just if that happened, I would not. I don't. Yeah. I don't even have words. Like if that happened, I would, I guess I don't know.

I just like that sheet. I mean, the thing is, like, as far as, like, I already have enough money. If I just stopped, right? If I went to a stasis pod right now, just from interest alone, I would have enough money to live happily in my children and probably their grandchildren, on and on and on. If I, you know, so when I make above $300 million, which is the amount I inherited, I'm a million, almost $100 million above that, like this quarter.

But $300 million isn't a lot. lot like it used to be. Well, you know what I mean? Like, it's not... That's true. There's inflation. Yes. But regardless, I don't really care.

Like, there's only, I only have one body. I've talked to a couple of rejuvenatory health experts on maybe if I could split myself into different bodies. I could enjoy all my vacation properties at the same time instead of having to fly to one and then go to the next, which is like, it tortures me to know I've got all these beautiful all over, all over America, guys, I have 50 vacation properties, beautiful properties, pools, libraries, sunrooms, music rooms, and for like... Concubines.

Concubines. And I don't let them live there. If I'm not there, I don't want anyone there. So for about, I don't know, 98% of the year, those properties are completely unoccupied. part-time concubines. Yeah, I just don't want anyone in the house if I'm not there. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

So that kind of bothers me because if I could just tell, if I could split my body into multiple places, I could be in those houses all at the same time, which is one of the things that for whoever said landlords suck, just so you know we do have feelings. And that is one of the things that upsets us is we can't be in all our vacation properties simultaneously yet. More money, more problems.

More money, more problems, guys. You think money's going to make you happy? No. You're going to be just as stressed out as you were before. That's true. But, you know, I think some of you don't really think like that. Because if you're not willing to get out there and inherit, that I just don't think you have the right to complain.

When did you inherit the first time, Josh? In 1998. And what I had to do first was they gave me a million dollars, but I had to spend that million dollars within a month. because if I didn't spend that million dollars other than a month then I wouldn't inherit the $10 million I was going to inherit

That happened to Richard Pryor That happened to Richard Pryor Yes, that's right My grandfather was a hack kind of So I think he just watched that movie He's like, I'm gonna do this That's so funny Did you get rid of it?

I got rid of it I'm like, why didn't he just buy You know, a bunch of hookers I didn't understand why he didn't do that Yeah Because he didn't Because it could be gone in like three days Exactly

Yeah, yeah exactly Yeah And I just flew around in a jet For a long time Jet fuel is very expensive Where'd you go? Nowhere. I just flew in circles.

Oh, circles. That's smart. A lot of circles. Yeah, that's smart. Yeah. I love doing that in my PJ, my private jet. Yeah. Sometimes I just go down to the airport.

I'm like, just fly me in circles today. And I'll just nap up in the plane. What I would do was wherever Greta Thunberg was sailing to, I just fly over her sailboat. Did you call her Gerta? I call her Gerta. She wants Greta, but I call her GERDA. Gerdas great. I love making fun of Greta Thurterberg.

Don't you just. Josh. It's the best. It's the fucking best. She'll never inherit. There's no generational wealth. There. Gertrne Thurnberg.

Zernhard Mondi. Oh, these fucking assholes, man. Yeah, so that's cool. So, yeah, you never, you know, when you inherit, when you have the will to inherit, the discipline to inherit, and it does take this. Wouldn't you say, like, receiving that much money, it takes, it, it's, it's, it's, It's a mind fuck. It's a mind fuck.

Yeah. Yeah. I would equate it to childbirth. At least. Yeah. It's like you're giving birth to your new life and you have to really, what do they say, to receiving is giving. And that's why when I go collect my rent checks from my fucking shitty tenants who are inevitably

late, I feel like I'm giving them something by giving them a chance to give their rent checks to me. And the hardest part is. cutting off your old friends because they're going to want stuff. And it's just like, we're not, you know what I mean? That was the old me. New phone. It's called a new phone.

Yeah. Within a week, I got a new phone. And anybody who wasn't, anyone who didn't know my number couldn't call me anymore. So there's like three numbers in my phone. My business manager, my ketamine dealer, and my masseuse. That's it. That's all you need. That's all you need.

And so we inherit, we make money, we experience stress, and most importantly, we give to you by taking your checks. And if you are ready for that kind of life, if you're ready for that kind of life, I want you guys to pray with me, drop the pitch of my voice. Oh sweet creator of the universe You have given us so many gifts The sweet Sweet flesh of the shrimp that we enjoy At this table of life Beautiful crustaceans

Peeled or not Plumpton Boiled roasted or baked In any form or fashion Your shrimp Filled us with The light and truth And wisdom of all that he is

and in that encounter with our shrimp flesh, we understand that we too are your flesh and we too have a choice at any given moment. Are we willing and ready to inherit? Are we willing and ready to get that phone call and hear from an attorney that we have generational wealth? Are we ready to open our hearts, our conduits of light energy,

our cheat energy, so that we may receive generational wealth, And please give us the will and the strength to call a business manager once we've inherited. Let us call our business manager and say, buy a Starbucks and several low-income rental properties around the Starbucks so I could have the pleasure of knowing my employees are also paying me rent. Oh, and give me that strength. Let me find a good location for a Starbucks near low. income housing. Please give me the will and the strength to evict the tenants I have who are late on their rent. Do not let me succumb to the manipulation of my tenants. Do not let me

succumb to the manipulation of my employees and cast out the devil that comes to me sometimes and says, you're exploiting people. What you're doing is essentially vampirism or a vision of slavery. What you're doing is actually, in some ways, more sinister and horrifying than slavery because the slave understands that they're a slave, whereas the person working for less money than they should be making and paying rent believes that they are not slaves, which makes them that much more in prison. Get that thing out of my house, that that ponchy green goblin thing. The thick Russian accent. out of my house. I don't want them there anymore. Send them out into the street. Send them to one of

my tenants' house. Please make sure my tenants do not repaint my walls. Do not. Please don't put the thought in my tenant's mind to look up renter's rights in Texas. Please make sure that they don't look up mold mitigation in Texas. And anyone right now who is listening to this, make sure that that they become inheritors or have the courage to start a shrimp farm. Thank you so much. Wow, guys, that was beautiful

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You know, I know one thing everybody was waiting to talk about is Lindsay Clancy, especially the guys out there. I know all of you are really enjoying hearing your wives and girlfriends talk to you about Lindsay Clancy. And it's not weirding you out at all. You have not had any inkling of a thought that it's sort of unnerving that so many people seem to have a sense that any second they could snap and murder their own kids. It's so fucking scary, man. What's up with y'all ladies? There's two ladies that I saw on Instagram that explained if she's innocent, how scary that could be in the future.

Like for women, it's just like, well, you can't be a police officer because you have a gun and you might have an episode or something because your hormones. Okay. I've heard that. You know what I mean? It carries on. It's just like, oh, you can't be this job or that job or be responsible for this because your hormones could. And then I heard another lady say, well, then how come what about men? Well, I couldn't control my hormone, so I did that horrible thing.

Men never do anything weird like that. Yeah, there you know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. Listen, you're not watching the fucking Andrew Tate fucking alpha male show here or anything, but I do want to point out, and you know, I know that some of you snow flakes out there might get your snowflakes ruffled by what I'm about to say. But men, in the history of men, have never done anything violent at all. all. And I just think it's worth noting. That's all. Hey, whoa, sorry. Don't kill me, ladies. I mean, I know you may, just because there's a full moon doesn't mean you should fucking

strangle me to death for saying the most obvious thing. Number one, the female orgasm does not exist. Number two, childbirth is painless. And number three, men have never done anything violent in the world ever. And you can post that on fucking the gram, Josh. Because these dumbasses are like, how can you say that? How can you fucking say that, man? It's not true.

It's true. Oh, you're going on Google? Is that where you're getting your info from with your little typing fingers? You proud? You can type? You should be ashamed. I can't fucking type. I do voice to text.

You take your fucking typing class. You take your Mavis Brimley typing class. You type really good. You're proud of that. You should be ashamed of typing with these fucking fingers. You should be fucking punching through walls with these fucking fingers to get them strong, not to be violent. men don't do that we are calm we are stable we are not constantly at the the whim of our hormones men out there can you back me up on this are you guys just going to fucking not say anything

thank you dang dang name one violent man for those listening for the dudes listening roll your window down right now and yell out into the highway speak up go on the bridge go on and make a banner for an overpass men have done no wrong we haven't and this Lindsay Clancy what's happening here is it's like that I guess you could say the cat's out of the fucking back you know what I mean we already knew it that you ladies are sociopathic murderous killers who are susceptible to your hormones Do not experience orgasm and have pain-free childbirth that you fake it when you're giving birth.

But to have it publicly put out there, the postpartum myth, right? It's a myth, postpartum psychosis or whatever. Now we're learning this is all a myth. It's in basically you ladies are nuts compared to men who are great and stable. And I'll tell you, one of the things that really makes me happy about this trial is, is how many men are being called by the prosecution to determine if the woman is crazy. Because, you know what I mean? Because we can, we know.

You can only have, you shouldn't have ladies up there at all. You know, they've had a couple of female psychiatrists, but the attorneys, they're calling experts and their dudes, and they know what's up. Pull up, pull up, I just want to give you an example of a really great man who should be determining whether what should happen to this psychopath um lindsay clancy um expert witness youtube there's an expert on lindsay well just go on youtube pull it up lindsay lindsay expert witness look at this here we go here we go pull this guy up this guy's great okay so my question sir i know you get in there but where did you lecture or give

the lecture to criminal defense attorneys? I've given a number of those lectures over the years. I can't recall them all offhand. Okay. But my question, sir, was that you were working on behalf of the administrative office of the United States courts. Thank you for your service, sir. Stop it for a second.

See, that man was one of the star witnesses. And zoom in on him, Josh. Can you zoom in on his face or get a cut of this dude? This is a man's man here. This is a guy that you would love to, if you're at a hotel, if you're at a motto, to come sit in the hot tub with you because you know you're going to have a great conversation. This is the kind of guy you want to be in an elevator with.

This is the guy you get happy when he sits down next to you on a plane. And one thing this guy is never going to do is anything violent or horrible or kill people. Yeah. Kirk Heilbram from Jack's great dude. Look at that. Man's man. Man's man. He's an attorney.

He could just as easily be a ranch hand. He could just as easily be riding a cow. You could easily see Kirk Heilbrun riding a stallion across the plains, heading towards a village where crazy women need to be incarcerated. Now, go back to YouTube and pull up another witness. There's this one dude, I just can't remember his name, man. He's like such a cool fucking guy. Yeah, you could just do expert witnesses. Others will show up and just.

scroll down. Not that guy. I think that's her fucking husband. Congratulations to him for getting remarried. You know, that's another thing about men is like we aren't going to let our hearts ache for too long after our children are murdered by our wives. And we're not going to let that be the road bump that keeps us from experiencing the joys of marriage.

And congrats to him for getting remarried right away. That's man strength. Oh, here we go. Play this one. Just an example of lady stuff here. Scroll one more up. This is fun. This is a lady.

The final witness is taking the stand at the Lindsay Clancy trial. Millions coast to coast are waiting and watching as this case will soon head to the jury. I will for smirking and winking, leading many to ask, what's so funny? Anne Ricogliano is at the court.

courthouse. High drama at the Lindsay Clancy murder trial. Bye-bye. Lindsay's attorney lashed out at a podcast. The devil's puppet right there. Stay away from me. Look at that. Oh, he has to wear those glasses so his eyes don't fucking transform.

Was not suffering from psychosis when she strangled her three children. You are a reason. Why? Because I said he was a good witness. Today, Kevin Redington cross-examined the prosecution witness. I just want you to show this fucking psycho smiling. That Lindsay knew right from wrong and therefore was criminally responsible for murdering her three children. Get out of there.

In the courtroom, I can tell you what the cameras don't show. Took him a minute. Also today, this spectator is under fire for giggling, mugging for the camera and even winking while she was entering the courtroom during the trial. What the, what the lady! What the thing? There you go. Pause right there. Look at all the men in the room.

solemn, noble, well kept, well-groomed. These are men who are showing the respect they should. Meanwhile, the fucking poison ivy over here hams it up! Ham's it up! Get out of there, Josh. Men. Men. What else is there to say?

Right? Say it, Josh. Say men. Men. Men. Men. Men. men or just kind of rolls off the tongue doesn't it

men and then say woman wo see woman woman whoa it's like it feels like I have a hairball

so one thing that we've learned from the Lindsay Clancy trial is that men are stable, balanced, and women are bad shit fucking cuckoo birds, go to the puzzle factory crazy. And that's what it's taught me. And what else can you say?

I tried. My wife has been very upset about this lately, and I gave her that pamphlet that you gave me to give to her. Good. And she immediately, within 10 seconds, of reading the first few lines, like, lost her shit. and it's just like... It triggers them. Yeah. It triggers them.

Yeah. Which pamphlet was it, myth of the female orgasm or the postpartum lie? The postpartum lie? Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, that triggers them. Yeah. It triggers them.

You know, and again, this is another thing. Just to get back to me as an entrepreneur and how incredibly wealthy I am and how I use money to hire people to run my businesses and I pay them exponentially. financially less than what I make. So I'm, I get a text from the bizmange and he's like, Duncan, you're not going to believe this. One of your employees is pregnant and is asking for something called maternity leave. They have it in Europe. Have you heard of this?

Yeah, in Europe. It's like, I literally text him back, oh, what? with the WUT, you know, I'm like, oh what? And he's like, yeah, like you look up how long you have to get maternity leave in Texas, Josh. You're not going to believe this, guys. Get ready to actually be triggered. Twelve fucking weeks of unpaid job protected maternity leave. Now, here's the thing.

Unpaid. Okay. As far as I'm concerned, my employer. always owe me money because I trained them I didn't train them the manager I hired trains them whatever I don't know who does it but they learned to be baristas they learned to pour not that it seems like it I've been in a Starbucks I look it and it doesn't seem that hard you just mix some shit together and then put in a cup it's like it's a limit's a glorified lemonade stand really and

but I trained them I gave them that training they know I'd have to fucking pour coffee or whatever and So they owe me. So when it's like, you don't have to pay them, but you have to fucking keep them on, hire them, bring them back. Yeah.

Three months? Really? So in that three months, I have to train a new employee to work for three fucking months. And then when this fucking, you know, Wear protection You know, I'm

Get an abortion, you know So when this thing comes Swishing back into my fucking Starbucks I have to throw out the red fucking carpet Why? Because you painlessly squeezed a baby out of you? Yeah, they think they're heroes. They think they're fucking heroes.

It's like, oh, thank you for your service. Yeah. Thank you for getting fucked and having a painless birth. Okay, let's open the floor for questions. Anybody have any questions out there? For the list. Oh, here we go.

Oh, damn, we got some super chats. This is fantastic. Thank you guys so much for the super chats. It's incredible. A little bit like throwing a penny in the ocean based on how wealthy I am. But, hey, thank you. Oh, God! Hold on, I just got a text. Hold on. Oh, shit. You guys get to see this in real time. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You get to see this in real time.

Check it out. I do text to speech. Go ahead and have him evicted. How cool is that? That Filipino ladies out. Out. And I did say him. I do that. I refer to her as a hymn sometimes just to fuck with her head. but yeah she gone she gone and you know what that means a deluxe bit of real estate is about to open up in austin nice 400 square feet of paradise and for only 1,500 dollars a month that's not anyone's perfect I like how you have the kitchen and the bathroom and the bedroom all in one like open area so it like it just gives it more yeah yeah I call it back to nature living yeah Yeah, that's what we put in the, when we put ads up, back to nature living in the heart of Austin. It's nowhere near the heart of Austin, but, you know, whatever.

You get what you get. But that's another cool thing about it, which is kind of like you look at square footage and like how much per square footage I pay a month versus what my tenants pay. I mean, it's hilarious. It's hilarious because you could, you've earned it. I did earn it. I inherited. And you can break down how much you make per square foot. And what your tenants pay is like quite often like 10, 15 times the cost of the place.

It's like, but you have to act like it's a big deal when you fix stuff. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I don't care what the fuck it is. Like, you know, like I have my business manager like in the property managers act like it's just like, devastating to ever to like it's insane and I blame it on them do you do that with your tenants no I don't I don't blame it uh on them I blame it on their um their circumstances and I just let them know it's just like that they're still good people you just you were born at the wrong time

in the wrong place in the wrong body you dude I don't have time for that shit you know what this is what I do I have my property manager to go uh if you fucking broke it, you will be paying for it. Always, no matter what the fuck it is. They never break. It's usually something to do with the building. These are old, fucked up buildings, you know, so they fuck up all the time. But we like to sort of insinuate that they had some kind of culpability in any problem around the place.

Oh, there's mold. Oh, my baby's swollen. It's like, ah, did you leave the shower curtain open? Yeah. Are you taking steam showers? Is it humid in there? I mean, give me a fucking break. And if you are the one who we find cause the mold,

you will be paying a lot of money because mold mitigation ain't cheap. And usually when you do that, I just don't worry about it. I'll just say don't worry about it. Problem solved. Problem solved. But yeah, always blame it on your tenant. You guys should write that down.

Always blame it on your tenant. It's an important rule of. being a landlord. I would prefer to be called a land king, not lord, you know, or lord is just sort of, I don't know.

I'm more as cool. I like a lord of the land. Oh, I like that a lot. Lord of the land. It's my land. I'm the lord of this land. It is cool, though,

to be a landlord. I thought about it once when I was going to collect rent checks, buying like a king's outfit and going in there dressed with a king with like two knights like my guys I have to have security

my guys next to me dressed as knights and you go in and fucking the Lord is here yeah the law open for the Lord open for the Lord and you could take a golf cart around doing that a golf cart and then when you go up the stairs they just have you on their shoulders like that

with like a little like you're sitting on a thing oh my God oh my God I fucking love that fuck a golf cart get one of these fucking idiots who pull people around on a rickshaw a fucking oh my god like a chariot yeah you know what oh my god okay so for my tenants who are late i could say i'll give you like a two-day extension but get get all the late tenants together and they have to pull me around my properties on a rickshaw just just to kind of send a message to all the other tenants, you know?

What I do is if one of my tenants gets a new girlfriend. Oh, no, I hate it when that happens. Well, I love it when it happens because then, because I'm the Lord of the Land. So it's just like, well, let me get mine for us. Oh, yeah, I've gotten people's girlfriends that suck my dick. I do that all the time. Yeah. Yeah, that's the funniest thing.

To be honest, that is why I go to collect the checks. Yes. But I, you know, the Filipino lady just wasn't really like, not my thing. But, yeah, that's. that you could definitely like you get your as a landlord it just kind of goes without saying you get your dick sucked all the time uh which is great you know i guess and i again i feel like it gives uh some of my tenants a sense of security knowing that like they could at least like cut like 50 bucks off the rent check by sucking my dick you know and this america this is one of the great

things about america you know we i mean because there's like laws laws that we as landlords kind of suggestions yeah whatever you want to call it laws oh the law it's fun when they do the law stuff but then there's kind of like you know gray areas where it's like where actual like things really happen and where the country exists and in those gray areas there's really i wouldn't i don't think there's really laws it's just pure and absolute freedom and the more money you have, the more you can experience that freedom, which is why you should inherit today. There's a number right down below. You can call that number 1-8-0-0-6-22. I can't remember the rest. It'll come up later. Call that fucking number that you're seeing right now.

Call it right away. And I will send you my pamphlet. The postpartum lie, along with the myth of the female orgasm and 10 tips for landlords and the best way to conduct yourself as the lord of your land you can have it all and you can experience it for the very low price of 2999 paid weekly you will every month receive uh something you'll get a call or something i've talked to my business manager i think you get like our a i call to you're an ass if you're okay and then hangs up. But it's all worth it and it's worth it if you want to inherit it. Let's keep going here.

Thank you. Uncle Duncan. Hi, Presley. The fucking Seinfeld bass riff didn't fucking work. The homunculi, oh shit, just got pissed and quadruble their forces. They've been fucking moving way harder ever since. What do we do? Presley, listen.

uh you you're probably gonna and i'm sick of this shit like people are i'm tired of the debunkers out there but homunculi used to respond negatively to the Seinfeld base riff they would usually scatter or they would fall upon each other and kill each other then they turned off the large hadron collider and ever since then the riff has not worked a lot of you are happy they turn this off. A lot of you, I read are like, what the fuck are we doing? Like, you guys have no idea what you're doing. Why are you colliding particles at insane rates of speed when you really don't quite understand the fundamental laws of physics? You just have some grasp of Newtonian physics. If you understood it, you wouldn't have to do it. And the fact you're doing it could cause

some kind of ripple in the time space continuum. A negative ripple. Distort the timeline. The class sun looks weird now. Dude, keep it. it running. Keep it fucking running. Ever since they turned that shit off, people started bitching about surveillance and data centers, which are two things I fucking love. Hey, what's up, Drax? Thanks for me to remember.

My grandma is highly allergic to shrimps. What's a plant-friendly alternative? The best thing to do if your grandma is allergic to shrimp is when she's sleeping, go into a room and shove as many shrimp as you can into her old fucking mouth and seal it shut with your clamp her lip shut. And then when she wakes, when she opens her eyes, slap her directly on the head and it'll force the shrimp down into her stomach. The cortisol that gets released, because they're usually scared when that happens, unless you're

an idiot and you told them you're going to do it. You don't do that. Helps to wear an executioner's hood. The cortisol that gets released will mitigate the, uh, you know, um, mitigate the, uh, allergy. It acts as a kind of natural antihistamine, and it will cure their shrimp allergy. So that's what I would start with and then come back next week and let me know if that works. Sarah, thanks for the super chat. Do you think taking down the pyramids could stop Teal's Merlin program? Have you seen Whitney Webb's work on it? Look, all I know is this. Anything Peter Thiel does,

I support and I wouldn't want to stop. So I'm not going to look up. Whitney Webb, especially if it's some kind of bullshit like mocking or trying to take down Peter Teal who just wants to keep us safe. And I want to thank Flock cameras for supporting this episode of the DTFH. Go to flockcamera.org. Use offer code DTFH 20 to get 20% off in-home surveillance systems. Flock will come to your house for free. They will install cameras in every room of your house.

and you can live knowing that you are safely being watched by law enforcement. So if anything happens in your house that is illegal, even if it's you doing it. Because, you know, again, we're watching the Lindsay Clancy thing. That wouldn't have happened if she had flock cameras in her house. That's a good point. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's the one thing that I've been banging my head against the wall wondering,

why isn't anybody bringing this up? that all of this horror would have been prevented by simply having flock cameras in every room of the Clancy household. It would help for evidence because then we could see what was actually going on there. It would help for prevention. And it would probably she wouldn't have felt so, me, I'm freaking out if she knew she was being surveilled. So no one wants to talk about the comfort of surveillance. No one wants to talk about how cozy it feels to be surveilled.

I love curling up in front of my flock. camera with a cup of hot tea and a copy of the Bible and just sipping tea and reading the Bible while being surveilled. And a lot of people forget if you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide. That's the part that people always forget. Thank you for saying the quiet part out loud, Josh. Are you a criminal, Josh? No.

Nor am I. But my tenants are. Many of them are. And if you're laid on rent, I consider that a crime, even though it's technically not. And so let me tell you something. I got flock cameras all around my properties. And I would put them in the fucking properties if they let me, but they won't. And I talked to my business manager about it.

And he said, we might be able to work something out, but you'd have to classify it as some kind of not as a rental property, which is weird. But maybe if I, you know, for like 50 off a month, you get surveilled. Yeah, it's called getting flocked. Yeah, getting flocked. And so, yeah, but all my, all my Starbucks flock, flock, flock all around. I know every, I mean, I don't know everything. I don't have access, of course, I don't at all. I don't have any access to my flock cameras because they definitely don't grant access to people who support them.

They don't, you know, when you invest in the, you know, when you invest in the company and give them millions and millions of dollars and you uh you call them up on the special phone that they give you and you say hey can you uh pull up 347 winster street i just want to see what what my tenant is looking like when they come home and what time they're coming home and i just want to see all the footage of them leaving their house for the last three days and if you could get me some information on their new girlfriend uh they definitely don't send that to you like within 10 minutes So they're safe. You're fine.

You're fine. So yeah, do get a flock camera. Put it in your house. It's absolutely free. And you will feel so much better. And it's a gift for you. It's a gift for your family. Again, it's DTFH 20 to get 20% off of flock cameras in your own house.

And I don't want to leak something, but I was talking to Peter on the phone. He calls me all the time. I'll give you this. See, I'll find this here. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by the providers of my current wallet, which I left at home. Ridge wallets. Friends, I've had this wallet for a few years now, and it is invulnerable to the many horrors that I perpetrate upon my wallets. Wallets of my past, they would get ground up by my lack of ass.

I'd shove them in the back pocket and my flat, whatever the fuck is going on back there, would just smash and grind. They would become distended, broken, ripped, and most importantly, hideous to look at, like something that might wash up on a beach, or like what I often thought, Bob Dylan's balls. That's what my wallets would turn into

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Ridge, if you're watching this, send me some luggage. Holy shit. That's incredible. Definitely a Ridge suitcase more than likely will survive the upcoming. Did I say supernova? It's a micronova. It's not going to make a difference to you. It's just going to eradicate 80% of life on the planet.

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a souped up Ford Bronco, or $100,000 in cash. I would take... Josh, can you look up how much a Lamborghini Huracan Storado cost? $278,000? $278,000.

Who takes $100,000 in cash? Take the Lamborghini. You'd sell it. But if you don't want that for some reason, maybe some kind of tax issue, you can get the $100,000 in cash. You could win this. You could have a Lamborghini.

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entries that's ridge.com and use duncan after your purchase they will ask you where you heard about them please support our show and tell them the dfhc yeah well down i'll just take a screenshot because i know a lot of you have fucking hackers and could use this information to manipulate me uh to blackmail me um to hold on one second here uh and again a lot of you're going to be like This is a name drop, but I don't give a fuck what you think. Check it out. That's who's been calling old Daddy D. Peter Thiel and Elon Musk.

Okay. By the way, Elon also inherited. Had this drink, had the will. Now one of my dear friends, along with Peter Thiel, we will be playing Dodgers and Dragons later this afternoon. Cap and Stems, thank you so much for the super chat. Will they eat the corn? Yeah, shrimp, yeah, they'll eat fucking anything.

If you're asking if they'll eat the corn in your shit, are you fucking kidding? That's like a dessert. That's like an unexpected slice of corn pot. John Riddle, what's up? Thank you for the super chat. Is a former Cambodian shrimp farmer, I can vouch for this valuable information,

you're doing the Buddhist work, Duncan. Thank you, John. I'm trying. It's not easy. Oh! Drex in a family hour gift membership. Somebody got that? Don't forget to take Drex.

Drax is also suggesting microgreens farming. I just prefer to farm to harvest living things. That's one of the things I've realized as a landlord, Drax, is in a way, my lower-in apartments are energy harvesting units within which I'm harvesting the life energy of the tenants who live there. I don't know if this is too woo-wooy or weird, but kind of it's hot to me to think that I essentially am draining the energy of my tenants.

And like, you know, you fly over when I'm on the PJ and I'm flying over Austin, just circling, just circling. I sleep best on the private jet. Looking down, I have a little telescope that I like to gole. telescope I look through my private jet down at my buildings and when I'm looking down there and I see it's like a circuit board or something it's like kind of looking at a circuit board and the my properties are just little batteries that are harvesting the life energy of my tenants which then just goes to me and it's cool it makes me feel good you know I mean you should allow

yourself to be proud of your work. Dax, thank you for the super chat. I purchased your Duncan, Duncan, Duncan, shrimp food and was disappointed by the diagnosis of obsessive compulsive disorder. It gave my sweet shrimp babies. Look, Dax, I've been hearing bullshit

like that for, like, the last three years, ever since I started selling that stuff, and I'm going to sue you for defamation. Hi. That just how it works. You've been served. That counts legally. I can get my notary to come in here. I have a notary

follow me around. Hi Adam Dev Media. Thanks, Duncan, for allowing your 3D printed head to be on stage at my friend's show with a memorial video. Oh, I'm sorry about your friend. Thanks, Duncan, for allowing your 3D printed head to be on stage at my friend's show with a memorial video for a friend

passing. Friends passing being projected all over. Oh, man. I'm sorry about your friend. I didn't know what you were doing that 3D printed head. It's cool, though. And I'm glad it serves some purpose. I don't know if you're joking. Because somebody did want to print a 3D printed head for me of me.

And anyway, I'm sorry about your friend. Thanks for the super chat. I'm sorry about your friend. Sucks, man. Those little moments, people just blink out. Just blink out. Just gone. Well, they're still around.

You know how it is. You still feel them in the air and such. But I mean, as a landlord, when one of my tenants dies it's just like Jesus fucking Christ it's just Jesus fucking Christ you have to get their shit out

it's like never there's never anything of value there and then it just ends up being just please if you're a renter don't just please don't die and if you're going to die like consider like going to a hotel like finish out your lease

go to a hotel and die or a hospital but finish out your lease please please you don't understand it's just like and then everyone so superstitious so it's like if they hear that somebody died in your property

they don't want to live there I don't want to feed a ghost oh murder suicide oh no it's like what boom what you think so is a jump out of the fucking wall that I can still see the blood

stain on the wall oh oh no blood what pumps through your body and keeps you alive. Oh, you're afraid because you see an example of what keeps us alive at all fucking times on your wall? Oh, I'm scared of blood.

Oh, you didn't clean it up. There's bullet holes. All the things they say. You know? It's just like, just get in there. Go, like, what are your fucking, watch your two hours of TV after you get off work at my Starbucks. Go to fucking bed.

Good to work on time. Just shut the fuck up. You know? Adam Dev Media. ADT is expensive, free security. A hell of a deal. Adam Dev Media. You get it, man.

You get it. It's like, dude, seriously? I know what I'm paying you. You're going to spend that on your own home security system. Are you crazy? Are you crazy? Use that fucking money to like go to an urgent care. Because this whole health insurance shit's got to.

go take care of yourself, which brings me to this next way to make money. Can you pull up the home surgery thing I say? Sure. How you can practice tying at home with the help of an empty paint can, a magnetic hook, and, of course, some suture. Let's do it. This is really important. Hit pause for a second.

So a lot of you, and I know this, it's coming from my employees. a lot of you for some reason, and I'm real confused about this, think that even though you have to buy food, water, shelter, and theoretically if you have a car, you pay for your fucking car, whatever, that we should give you free healthcare. What? Uh, what?

That's a what? And it's wild because it's like, okay, you got to pay for your massages. You know what I mean? You pay to go to the movies because you love to go watch the movie see the new Spider-Man movie. That's how you guys walk to landlords when we see you. That's how you looked at. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-go-d movies. But it's like you had to pay for that.

But suddenly you're like, but also I should go to a hospital, get care from like a fucking surgeon who went to school for. over a decade to learn to do this and it should all be free. Nah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do it you could, guys, don't be deskilled. You can do surgeries on yourself at home. Keep playing, Josh. Hold on, pause. But not on my fucking properties.

Not on my fucking properties, because let me tell you something. Let me tell you, you will be paying for stains. And you could say, well, you don't even remove the stains. It's not, don't matter what I do after you're out of my fucking place. But so if you do home surgeries in my place, any of my tenants, and I know some of you watch this, because I make you, you, um, don't you fucking do this. And if you do do it, you put down plastic. Go ahead, Josh.

Sorry. Medical students out there for the surgeons and training, for anybody that's going to be tie and knots, it's really important that you are practicing tying knots before you get to that position where you got to tie the knots, all right? Before you get to the operating room and before you're in the emergency department or before you're in clinic and you need to tie things, okay? So I'm going to take you through today a simple setup for time. Pause it for a second.

So, guys, he's saying like before you go to the emergency room, because he has to say that. Because if he's a doctor and if he encourages you to do home surgeries, he probably like there's something that could happen to. license but this obviously it's like you 90% of surgeries you could do on yourself or have a friend do it on you for for like 20 bucks shit you get at CVS go ahead and play it now when do we need to tie deep knots well imagine we're in a deep cavity in the abdomen or we're in the chest that I'm tying through an opening for a chest retractor or we're deep in the pelvis perhaps

there's a bleeding on the sacral wall and we're taking a suture that, putting a figure eight suture in, and then tying down to stop that bleeding. We've got to be able to tie down into tight spaces. Okay, stop it. So there you go, guys. It's just like surgery is essentially like just know if you know how to tie knots, which I'm assuming you can tie your fucking shoes, but with some of my tenants, I doubt it. And sometimes that's what I love when I go in there to get my wrench.

check if they have their fucking shoes on because you pigs all leave your shoes on in the house. I go, uh, your shoes untied. Shoes untied. Can you tie it? Get a wrench egg, bitch! Primordial. Thank you for the super chat. Dunkin, if you still have those bizarre satanic tapes, you should give them to Kurt to listen to

for the mystery boys. I'm not doing that to him. I'm done with those, man. I'm not going to say why or anything. I'm just kind of over that shit. I don't want to revisit it. I don't want to fuck with it. I've thought about taking those episodes.

down to be honest. Like, uh, that was, uh, some shit happened that I don't, I can't really talk about. Um,

Adam Dev Media. Can we set up sending you the head somehow? Will you DM me and fuck yeah we can? And, you're offering to send me a 3D printed, uh, my head. Because if you could print,

I have to look, but approximately 73 of those, I could put them in my tenants. Apartments. which would be fucking great. That would be fucking great. Put it in my tenant's apartments. And not that I would do this,

flock cameras in the eyes. Ooh. Huh? I wouldn't do it. But I could do it. I could do it. Well, guys. Holy fucking shit.

Lose the first as the tapes rattled dunk. It's not that they rattled me. I didn't like them. And they gave me a bad vibe. And Josh, you have to admit, every time we played those fucking things, the energy felt. weird in here and it didn't feel good yeah it used to be really really cold in this room remember

dude i swear it was very like um i you know what i mean it was just like sometimes when you're when you're doing stuff like this you want to share things with people and then sometimes you share too much and you realize you shouldn't have done that and then and you know sometimes you like just because you don't for all of you like secularists out there materialists just just because you don't believe in a phenomenon, and some of you out there, I'm sure, are saying, it's not that I don't believe in the phenomenon. I just want some, like, verifiable proof that this is real. Like, you're acting like I'm closed-minded because I want just, like, some quantifiable way to measure things

in a standard within which there is real and there is not real. And you have this mish-mosh, gobbly, gook, cuckoo-bird, puzzle, man way of talking about shit and it's like just show me the fucking show me the rent check you know and so I get it I get it but it just because you don't have the quantifiable proof at the scale you're looking for it doesn't mean you're going to be protected from it for example you might decide you want to go on one of these sex tourism trips to Cambodia and you go to fucking Cambodia and your your balls deep in a can Cambodia a Canadian actually has Canadian sex worker in Cambodia you don't know why she's there she's there thought it'd be cool to bang down a Canadian

in Cambodia and so you're just banging down some Canadian sex worker and we salute the sex workers your tenants those of you are watching it's like dude uh uh uh there's ways to make money it doesn't matter that you don't believe in pubic life you're gonna get him because this this canadian's bush looks like a fucking cockroach farm which brings us to another great way to make money at home josh can you pull up that cockroach farm video what a cockroach farm looks like and there's an actual good reason behind it cockroaches are more than just some cute bugs and are surprisingly useful all the way from food for humans to medicine and beauty products.

And what he is doing is releasing these cockroaches into this room, which is also known as the main chamber, so they can be processed and then used. Okay, stop it there. This brings me to the point of the whole episode. So in the next few weeks, some information about me is going to come out in Rolling Stone Magazine. And in this article in Rolling Stone Magazine, I'm going to be accused of, you know, putting cockroaches in the sub-basement of the apartments that I'm renting to fill the

apartments with cockroaches that I then sell for medical purposes. Hold on, let me read the thing I'm supposed to read. Hang on. Neither I, Duncan Truzzle, nor any of my corporations, including country living LLC, Home Living, LLC, Fun to Be Alive, LLC, Starbucks Incorporated LLC,

green cash productions, LLC, as well as fast money, fun times, LLC, are in any way responsible for the cockroach outbreaks in any of my properties. It is normal in the summer in Austin for cockroaches to appear in apartments, homes, and even businesses. This appearance can happen for a variety of reasons,

generally because of lack of hygiene of the filthy, poor, destitute tenants who refuse to pay their rent on time in these buildings. These tenants should know that it is possible that by defaming or saying things about their landlord that they could be held liable for defamation and countersued if they had any money at all. But they should also know that I don't need any more money. And for me, it's just fun to keep people tied up in the court systems. again, I have never planted, placed, or released cockroaches into any of my facilities. And the fact that I was caught on video, along with three Chinese scientists, gathering up the cockroaches, does not mean that I am profiting from these cockroaches in any of my businesses.

It just means that I'm a good landlord and wanted to understand what type of cockroaches were in my rental units so that I could mitigate the problem by having them removed by Chinese scientists who would place them in vans and deliver them to a safe facility. So this is going to come out. Some of you, I'm sure, are going to turn on me and say, you're harvesting cockroaches. and you're a scumbag landlord who is vampirizing your tenants and then infesting the apartment with cockroaches to make even more money. And if you do say anything like that, online, in print, or anywhere, you will be sued for defamation because I would never fucking do that. Do I love my tenants?

No. Are they fucking filthy? Yes. Do they pay their rent on time? No. But to think that I would actually have to put cockroach. in my fucking units. That's like bringing fucking piss to the, to Coachella.

These motherfuckers, they, they, they don't wash their dishes. There's cockroaches fucking everywhere, guys. So in the, the Chinese scientists, oh my God, they happen to be fucking Chinese. Wow. I'm sorry. Did you want me to just hire white scientists to collect the cockroaches one by one and put them in the vans? And no, I'm not working on a fucking bio weapon.

These things are absolutely insane insinuations. Insinuates, whatever. I don't know the legalese of it is, but one of my dear friends, Peter Thiel, told me that I should expect to get some pushback for being a landlord. And I was like, let's just play D&D. I don't need your fucking business advice, Pete.

And we played because my character died in that campaign. He's the dungeon master. It fucking sucked. Anyway, the point is, I'm not contaminating my buildings I'm not I don't do that

I'm not that kind of person I'm a good person I pick up my own checks this has been in the day stream I want to thank all of you of so kindly super chatted

participated give me likes and hearts and one thing you can do that will truly help the project of destroying the pyramid because I'm going to invest all the money I have, whether it's from my units, my Starbucks,

my shrimp farming businesses are from this stream towards one goal. And that is destroying the great pyramid of geese. We're going to saw off the capstone, fill it with Mentos, fill it with Diet Coke. I don't know the soda yet. People are interested. The bidding war is insane right now. And the combination of Mentos and soda is going to blow. those fucking pyramids, straight back to fucking hell, where they came from, and world peace

will at last happen. We will experience the pure, harmonious reality that many of you sense is possible and just around the corner, which it is. So don't forget to like, don't forget to subscribe, become a member for ad-free episodes, and I will see you next week. And for my tenants, uh, it is the fuck. third and you know what that means one more fucking day one more day and you're going to be hearing i'll see you guys next week harry christah