Duncan Trussell Family Hour - Aubrey Marcus!

Episode Date: June 12, 2013

The brilliant psychonaut, philosopher, and entrepreneur Aubrey Marcus joins the DTFH! Also guest appearances by Nina Tarr and Brendon Walsh.

Hi friends and thank you for tuning into Monsanto's Duncan today, formerly known as the Duncan Trestle Family, our podcast. Before we get going, I want to tell you a little story of something that happened to me this week that has really shocked me and it's sort of put me in a disturbed state of mind because I just can't get it out of my mind. I was on a hike up in Griffith, Griffith Park, just getting some exercise and carrying my kettlebells up to the top of Griffith Park where I like to do my kettlebell workouts and my battle ropes with my pit bull. And on the way up there, I passed a man. I think he was a man. He looked like a man. He had a beard. He was wearing a bright red vinyl backpack and it had a Spider-Man logo

on the back of it. Now, this was a grown adult male that I passed. This wasn't some kind of malformed toddler that had been secretly injecting himself with his uncle's human growth hormone and it warped into a bearded hiker. It scared me. Sure, I had my pit bull gene with me and I had my kettlebells. So I had the ability to protect myself. I'm also a second degree black belt and jujitsu, but I've learned from my years of martial arts training that you should only fight when someone insults you and he didn't say anything. But I was creeped out. Why was I creeped out? I was creeped out because a grown man had decided it made the active decision that he was going to go hiking with a baby backpack. It would have been less creepy to pass a naked man carrying the

decapitated head of his grandmother down that trail than it would to pass a bearded man with a bright red comic book backpack on. Gentlemen, if you make the decision to wear a baby backpack out in public, then you must understand that no one is looking at your bright red backpack and feeling safe. Everyone is thinking that that backpack is more than likely filled with a bleach jaw bones of toddlers that you've skinned recently. No more baby backpacks. You want to wear a backpack that gives the impression that when you ask a girl on a date, it's not going to involve a picnic table and two lunch boxes filled with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crust peeled off. Wear a man's backpack and if you want to wear a man's backpack, then the backpack you should

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anti-macrobial, breathable, and dot susara actually translates into escaping from the drudgery of office life. And what better way to escape from your office than wearing a ninja backpack? dsgear.com. We're also sponsored by shirtdesignteachirts.com. You can go to shirt design t-shirts and check out some of these shirts that are so soft they've been compared by President Barack Obama to the vulval dew of Eve in the Garden of Eden. What could be softer than that first dew droplet of sexual secretion that our sweet Eve, the mother of humanity, blasted out of her primordial pussy in the dawn of time. Go to shirtdesignteachirts.com, check out some of these designs, order one of these shirts. If you put my name in, you get 10%

and a tremendous thank you to all of you who have been donating to the podcast and all of you who have been supporting the podcast by going to the shop. We've got some awesome shirts there. We just are wrapping up our t-shirt contest and we're about to have some new t-shirt designs in the shop. We've got great shirts there now. So if you have never gone to ducatrussell.com, go there and check out the shop. I'm quite proud of these designs and stickers and posters and I'll hope that you'll order some of them. Also, a really simple way to support the ducatrussell family, our podcast now known as Duncan Today is to go to dunkintrussell.com and go through our Amazon portal. If you are ordering stuff from amazon.com, which you should do, I've recently realized that

I now no longer have to leave my house, which is very exciting for me because at this very moment, all I'm doing is wearing a diaper with lipstick stickers on my nipples and I'm going to stay like this for the rest of the day. If I need anything, I just type in whatever I need into the computer and it comes to me. Lubricant, oysters, lettuce, it's all there. So if you're going to order something from Amazon, if you're going to order your textbooks, go to dunkintrussell.com first. There's an Amazon portal. If you go through that, we get a small percentage from Amazon. It doesn't cost you anything. And finally, if you're into audiobooks, we are sponsored by Audible. And if you go to audibletrial.com, forward slash family hour, you will get a free audiobook.

And these things are fantastic. These are one of the best ways to shield out the endless yapping of your mother-in-law. I know you're living with your mother-in-law. You can hear her right now in the room next to you as she lays on that stinky security blanket that she's worn ever since her divorce. You can hear her in there talking to herself, talking to that painting of the Virgin Mary that she hangs on the wall, muttering about the ancient ones who live within the mountains and will one day come back to destroy all humanity. Well, you don't have to listen to the weird jabbering gibbers of your insane mother-in-law who's on the verge of clawing her eyeballs out. You can go to audibletrial.com forward slash family hour and download a free audiobook. And

they've got a lot of great audiobooks there, including Timothy Ferris books, which I'm getting into right now. Even though it seems like before he writes any of his books, he does several rails of high-class crystal meth. You actually learn a lot, and I know people who've had great success losing weight from his books, and they are at Audible. So go to audibletrial.com forward slash family hour. If you sign up for a trial membership, you get a free audiobook. And finally, if you want to support the podcast and you don't feel like doing any of the things listed above, just sign up at duckatrussell.com for the forum. Join our forum. It's an amazing community, and we would very much like to see you there. Also, I'm sorry, I forgot to pay for the

PO box. So if you've mailed stuff to the PO box and it's been returned to you, it's because I didn't keep up my payments on the PO box. I'm going to drive down there today and reopen the thing. My apologies for that. I hope you're all doing well. Now please enjoy this amazing episode of Duncan Today, the reboot of the Duncan Trussell Family Hour podcast proudly brought to you by the wonderful people over at Monsanto, a farmer-friendly company that's not afraid to transform the quantum level of the essential nutritional components that we need to survive as a species. There's nothing a comedian loves more than appearing on a panel show about celebrities. It makes them happy and gives them a chance to use their comedy chops to talk about the different things that

celebrities do from good to bad. I decided that I would give my comedian friends a chance to feel proud and get on a show where they could do what they do best, talk about the celebs in celebrity culture. So everyone, please welcome to Monsanto's Duncan Today, formerly known as the Duncan Trussell Family Hour. Welcome to a podcast that's not afraid to say those edgy things about celebrities that you've been thinking, but you just didn't have the guts to say. Today's guests are my friends Nina Tarr and Brendan Walsh, and of course welcome my little nugget sidekick Frida, a Romanian midget that we saved from a Romanian brothel where she was being exploited by the mafia. Now enjoy the show. Hey everybody, thank you for tuning into Monsanto's Duncan Today,

formerly known as the Duncan Trussell Family Hour. As many of you know, the podcast is taken a turn for the funny and successful instead of the land of paranoia and drugs that it was in before. This show is now going to be completely dedicated to celebrities, and I'm going to have a new panel of celebrity comedians each week. But before I introduce the comics, I want to say hello to my new sidekick on the show. She is a midget flown in from Romania. Folks over at Monsanto actually saved her from a sex slavery camp and brought her over here to be a sidekick on my show. Everybody say hello to Romanian little person Frida. Hello everybody. How's it going little nugget? I'm good. How are you Duncan? I'd be better if you didn't smell like onions and old beef.

Hey, and that's my celebrity comics here. I'm here with Brendan Walsh. Brendan Walsh is friends with Chelsea Pretty and Aziz Ansari. What's going on Brendan? Hello, hello, hello. How's it going Duncan? It's great. How's pilot season been treating you? I gotta tell you, I think I might be, well fingers crossed, but I've been going on a lot of auditions and I think I might land something this year. That's exciting. Glad to hear your career is going well. And I'm here with Nina Tarr. Nina Tarr is a comedian who's friends with Tom Green and Joaquin Phoenix. What's going on? What's going on in the world as show biz for you Nina? Hey Duncan. Oh, I'm doing really good, you know, just getting a lot of gigs and everything and you know, all as well, all as well.

That's lots of fun. Today we're going to be talking about one of my favorite topics and something I really just can't stop thinking about, which is celebrity moms. What do you think about celebrity moms Frida? Who's your mom? Is your mom a little midget? My mother passed away when I was 12 years old. So we're going to talk about some what's going on out there with celebrity moms and I'm taking this directly from Star magazine. Guys, Britney Spears. She's a hands on soccer mom, but sometimes she leaves her boys in the gifting suite and forces strangers to watch them all day. What do you guys think of that? I got to say, you know, it's popular hate on Britney Spears, but she's a great mom and she's a great entertainer and I think everybody's got to stop

drinking so much. Hate her, right? They're just playing about their own business. Yeah, no shit. I don't know. I mean, I have to disagree with you, Brandon. I feel like, you know, Britney is still a psycho. She's always been a psycho. I mean, you're and I let somebody who- She's a diva. She's a diva. I'm going to give the final word on this. I think Britney Spears is a great mom and I think any kid's lucky to be her kid and I'd be, I feel so happy. She's rich. There's no, you can't be a bad mom if you're rich and she can give those kids anything you want. Yeah, you know, and a lot of these, a lot of people are really up in arms lately over this NSA wire tapping thing, but I'm going to read this. So annoying, like blah, blah, blah. Who cares? I mean, what do you have

to hide? So many paranoid people worried about this wire tapping thing. I don't, you know, wire tapping, wire shmapping. Who cares? If you're not a terrorist, you don't have anything to worry about. Totally. I mean, I totally agree with that. Seriously, people just need to like, just relax. I mean, who cares? Like if you want to listen to me and my boyfriend, Skype, who cares? You know, maybe, yeah, so the government's probably seen my tits a bunch of times, whatever. Here's some pretty interesting news. I didn't know about Gwyneth Paltrow. She's 40 and she's not looking great. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She looks great for four. I think, yeah, she looks great for somebody. It looks like she's been dragged around by the

grim reaper through death diary. I think she looks like she's a moisturize more seriously. Yeah, she should squeeze the tears out of her neglected kids into her face. So, you know, she's got a baby. Need Apple. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, with what's his name? Chris Martin. Yeah, there you go. Coldplay. Oh, my God. I saw them at the Hollywood Bowl last year. And Gwyneth was there with the kids. And I got to tell you, if you want to look for a family to model yourself after, that is a solid family unit. They're beautiful together. I mean, like they all those kids are going to be beautiful. Oh my God, they already are. They're gorgeous. They're gorgeous kids because they're going to be beautiful. Yeah. And you know, she's

been taking a lot of heat because she admits that she often leaves her kids feeling hungry because she refuses to feed them carbohydrates, which are critical for fueling the brain and muscles in the development stage. And Star magazine actually gave her a D as a mom. Okay, first of all, everyone knows carbohydrates are not that good for you. Okay, got your kids on Adkins. I mean, that is a great mom. Okay, gluten, a lot of I'm gluten free. You know, I'm allergic to gluten. There you go. Hate this stuff. Okay, so, you know, just because she's taking preemptive strikes for her children's health, I don't think that makes her a bad mom. Also, this is a family. They're a good solid family unit, but they're in the public eye.

She can't have a bunch of fat kids running around. I'm sure she gives them enough carbohydrates for their brain development. I mean, there's a limit, though. You don't want, she can't be embarrassed by having sloppy looking kids. Frida, why are you crying? When I was younger, we didn't have enough food for our family. Where are the wires that work this thing? Because this is an adorable muppet. Are you a muppet? I'm just expressing my feelings. I feel like you're making fun of me because of my accent. Frida, Frida, how did you, how did you, how do you get fed? What do they do? Shove lettuce up your ass? No, I, I eat just, I'm a normal person. I just have a disability. Put another hat on her.

Other one squeezes my head. Guys, can we get a cowboy hat on Frida? Oh my God. Oh my God, she looks so adorable. Frida, real quick, before we go on to our final celebrity mom grade, what do you think about this NSA wiretapping? You're from another country. Surely you think it's okay for the government to monitor and tap every form of communication going between all of its, all the citizens of the country? No, no, Duncan, I have to disagree. You know, wiretapping and any monitoring systems of any people, that is the first sign of totalitarianism. In my home country of Romania, you know, when the government was overthrown and the rebels guys, we're going to have to cut to commercial real quick.

Hi, I'm Janet Napolitano, Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security. Homeland security begins with hometown security. That's why I'm pleased that Walmart is helping to make our communities more safe and secure. If you see something suspicious in the parking lot or in the store, say something immediately. Report suspicious activity to your local police or sheriff. If you need help, ask a Walmart manager for assistance. Thank you for doing your part to help keep our hometowns safe. All right, we're back. Frida had to take a little bathroom break. I guess she wasn't feeling that great. Maybe somebody should water or she'll grow. You kill me, seriously. But not that wacky, tobacco kid. Stay off drugs, please.

Honestly, it seems like she's been engaging in a little bit of the chronic based on her level up here. I know. Did she like take a hit of acid before she came on the show? I mean, it is the beginning of totalitarianism. Oh my God. In Romania, I am like this. I mean life. Smoked another left handed cigarette. Crazy bitch. So look, guys, we're going to close out here on Denise Richards. She's got two sweet little kids, Lola and Eloise. And guys, she spends every moment with her kids. And she gets bonus points for taking in Charlie Sheen's twin sons, Bob and Max, while their troubled mom, Brooke Mueller, bounces in and out of rehab. And she gets an A plus from Star magazine. Who's this? I'm sorry, I was I was reading

that. It's Denise Richards. Oh, God, she's a great mom. Boring. I mean, seriously, where is the scandal? I mean, the most interesting thing about her is that she dated Charlie Sheen. Okay, like, what's with your kids? I mean, let's see some, let's see some stuff. Like, you know, what's going on? Do they have tattoos? Yeah, I don't know. I'm just bored. Boring. I'm bored. I'm bored of her, too. I got to say. She looks great for having a bunch of kids and her boobs. I mean, I hope I have her boobs. Yeah, she's yeah. But she is boring. It's kind of like if a loaf of bread grew nice tits. Well, she could be getting out there a little bit more. You don't see her out there partying with the Kardashians. Yeah. Yeah, she definitely needs to do that.

She could be in the public eye a little bit more. Have a little bit of fun, Denise. Let your hair down. Get out there, Denise. Have some fun. Nina, thank you so much for working. Where can people catch you next? Well, you can go visit me on my website at NinaTar.com. That's with two Rs. And I have a bunch of dates on there. So come and out and say hi. Come out and say hi to Nina and Brynn. And where can we, where can we catch you next? Well, as always, follow me, Bryndon underscore comedy on Twitter at Bryndon underscore comedy. This weekend I'm going to be performing. I'm doing a, I'm doing a benefit show for the troops. So, you know, you got to support the troops. Hell yeah, you do. Support the troops. Come on out. Guys, support the troops and come on. Guys,

if you end up, you know, hearing somebody getting a little weird about this wiretapping stuff, you can contact the Department of Homeland Security only if you think they're going overboard. Some people are acting a little weird. I'm going to contact the Department of Homeland Security and send them a thank you note for keeping an eye on us and keeping us safe. And I'm seriously. So, yes, that's going to be, and guys, go to DuncanTruzzle.com. I'm going to have the address for the Department of Homeland Security. Send them thank you notes for keeping us safe. Thank you so much for tuning in to Duncan today and a big thanks to Monsanto for sponsoring this show. Thanks for, you guys are great. Support the troops.

Hail Monsanto. Hail the NSA. And thank you, America, for allowing us to live in the way that we live in this wonderful country. Today's guest on Duncan Today, formerly known as the Duncan Trussell Family Hour podcast, is a really fascinating human. He's a psychonaut, a world traveler, an entrepreneur. He's got a fascinating website called warriorpoet.us. He runs a vitamin company with Joe Rogan that sells these awesome pills that I like a lot called Alpha Brain, which are kind of low level Adderall, wonderful things. But aside from all that, he's just a super cool guy who has a great deal of experience with psychedelics. And it was a real pleasure to get to chat with him. So everybody, please open your hearts, send out your Monsanto level love

to intertwine with the amazing warrior poet himself, Aubrey Marcus. It's Monsanto's Duncan Today. You don't have to have done anything wrong. You simply have to eventually fall under suspicion from somebody even by a wrong call. And then they can use the system to go back in time and scrutinize every decision you've ever made. Greetings, Aubrey. Welcome to the Duncan Trussell Family Hour. Yeah, right on. What's going on, Duncan? Hello. Good to be here. You've been requested so many times to be on this podcast. So it's great that you're here. I'm really excited to talk with you because I've heard a lot of amazing things. I don't, you know, I know you sometimes when I'm with Joe, we'll talk for a second. But we've never really gotten to chat at

all. So I'm looking at the universe wants it. The universe wants it. Yeah. But you so now here's, I'll tell you what I know about you. All right. And then you can sort of fill help me fill in the blanks because my what I know about you is that you are this psychedelic entrepreneur person who has created a very successful, what would you call it, a new tropic company, vitamin company, supplement company? Well, we call it total human optimization. We're trying to basically take all fronts from the mind and body and provide the tools to improve them, fitness, nutritional supplements, and actually functional foods as well. Oh, let me stop you there. Just for all the like, there is a contingent of like paranoid people. I don't even know why they listen to this

who right now are like, you fucking shill this whole thing is a goddamn commercial. I'm not getting good. There's no sponsorship here, friends. This is just and also I'm a I can say in the most honest way because I'm not being I'm not sponsored at all. I can say in the most honest way that I do like some of the on it products, particularly alpha brain, which I chomp on from time to time and it helps with hangovers and also reminds me of a kind of low level dose of Adderall. So word that means that being said, um, yeah, so that's you you have so that's the business side. That's the business side. But what's interesting is that there's also this other side that is a, um, you're, uh, for lack of a better word and forgiving for calling

you as psychonaut, you're somebody who is an advocate of psychedelics and has gone very deep into that rabbit hole. Yeah, absolutely. And it started pretty early. I finished, uh, wrapped up high school and went off in the, in the desert out between, you know, the Mexican border around there. And, um, this was some years ago and that wasn't as sketchy as it is now. Yeah. Met a shaman up there in the mountains and drank a big old cup of mushroom tea. And from there that launched me into this path. I could not go back. How did you, how did you find the shaman? Through some family connections, actually, that she had worked with some people in my father's side of the family. And, uh, you know, I was like, all right, Aubrey, you're

about to be a man now. Well, I guess I already was technically, but finishing high school, it seemed like the right transition era period. Cause we're lacking in all these rituals that are naturally enforced by society. We're one of the few societies without these kind of coming of age rituals. So on my father's side, they had the sense to say, Hey, go out in the desert, see this lady and don't ask questions. Where on the father's side? Well, my father was probably one of the pioneers. And then there was a few other and, uh, in that side, so your father also used psychedelics ritualistically. Oh man, that's so cool. Cause so many of our fathers, the, the ritualistic and toxic in his booze. It's true. And, and the ceremony

is throwing your mom into the wall. Booze in a belt. Yeah. That's terrible. Yeah. Um, so that's, that's, so that's incredible, man. So your, your father actually, your, your family said, okay, it's time. It's time for you to go and, uh, well, that side, the mother side was open to it, but we're like, uh, what the hell are you doing? So your, so your father, what does your father do? He was actually a commodities trader, commodities trader. So again, you have another psychic, you're following in your father's footsteps because this is a very strange, and forgive me for stereotyping entrepreneurs or commodity traders, but you don't often see these two lines cross as far as I know. Usually people, yes, it's very unique. So

your father's a commodities trader who is also drinking mushroom tea with shamans in Mexico. Right. Yeah. He got hooked up originally with Stan Groff and started doing the holotropic breathing and some of others of Stan's work. And then from there got introduced to a couple of really awesome people. And, uh, one of them was a shaman who, who worked out there in that region. We just had, um, Joan Halifax on the podcast who was married to Stan Groff. I've met Joan. Joan used to come over to our house when I was little kid. That's weird. It is wild. Isn't it strange? I remember. Yeah. Now that's a really curious thing, isn't it? Like that's a very, because I've met, now since I've met Joan, I, I met,

I've talked to other people who have met her or like, no, my friend, Daniela Bollelli was talking about how he used to read her books. And it's very fascinating how there's a, there really is like a, what they call the sangha or like a network of people who are all kind of connected or end up getting connected to this. And you know what was also crazy? I had pretty much lost touch with that shaman. I went out to see the very first time I saw her a couple of other times since then, but pretty close in proximity to that first session. I ran into her in Oakland at the multidisciplinary association of psychedelic studies conference. Just ran into her. So yeah, I mean, the group kind of stays,

stays pretty closely knit. It's, it's curious. And I want to talk about that more, but I, I want to talk about, can you just walk me through what was that, what I was like to be a kid and to meet a shaman in Mexico? The whole trip, like how did it start? Like you flew in? Yeah, flew in. And then, you know, they, she picked me up and had a big shaggy dog in the car and was really sweet and in a genuine sweet way, not that affected kind of sweet way. And you know, we just talked about different things and she didn't really tell me too much about what we were going to do. I think she was kind of feeling it out at that point, whether I was going to be ready. And then we got to this little place where she has like a clay hut out in the mountainous area

out there. And you know, I spent the first night there just kind of getting my head right, eating very clean, little limited diet. And then towards dusk of the next day, late in the afternoon, she brewed up a tea and we did a little ceremony with some sage and set my intent. She had me write my intent of what I would like to experience, but I had no idea. I was like, uh, I want to learn things. Yeah. You know, like, I didn't really know what, what that was all about. And then, you know, I was pretty nervous at that point. I would have been. Yeah. I went out and I remember I like wanted something to, because I didn't know what was going to happen to me. So I found a rock from outside and it was this really smooth rock. And I was like, all right, if nothing else, I'll

remember that this rock is real and I can come back and like hold it. And so I had this thing that I like clutched to me like a blankie or a, you know, teddy bear or something like that. And it was a rock I picked up and drank the tea and the first feeling that tingling, you know, sensation that you get from that psilocybin was just overwhelmingly strong. And from that point, it increased and increased. And I felt my bodily functions start to drop down. My breath seemed to evaporate throughout my body. And the most one of the most significant moments of my life was that first time where I literally felt my consciousness, my spirit, whatever you want to call it, raise up out of my body. I look back down to my body and I go, Oh shit, I'm not that thing. Right. And from

that point, it was the whole game changed. Yeah. Well, that is a game changer. And there's, there's, I've heard various versions of that story. What was the shaman doing during this time? She was being very quiet and just kind of sitting in meditation there, just watching, like holding the space, holding the space. Yeah, exactly. And so you came out of your body. Did you have any experience with entities or? I didn't, you know, and the only the entities have only started coming in since the ayahuasca. I've never really had to. Well, that's not true. I did have a so and another incident and another instance that time there was no entities. I just kind of raised up out of my body and I had a lot of realizations when I was there. I actually, you know, kind of

realized what it would be like to die when you die, because I was able to review my life with this perfect clarity, like all the rationalizations, all the bullshit that I've been telling myself was completely gone. And I was able to see exactly what I'd done well and exactly what I'd done, you know, wrong. Yeah. If I've treated a girlfriend wrong, I was like, oh, shit, that was a dick move. Yeah. How did I do that? And if I did something well, I was like, okay, you know, you did your best there. And so I kind of realized that when you die, that's your heaven and hell that you create, you know, that moment where you look back and you can't take your eyes off your actions and your deeds. You're either filled with pride and love for a life

well lived, or you're filled with the sheer horror of having to review without any way to kill the pain without any look at all the porn I watched. I watched over seven years of porn. I don't think the spirit really cares about that. I don't either. But I do know that that life review experience and that comes with mushrooms and it can be quite, quite brutal. And it's if you're not ready to get that level of truth, you have to have a pretty, I think one thing, one thing that you need before you start hanging out with psychedelics is you have to be fond of the truth. And everyone says they want the truth. You know, everybody has pretends to have a fondness for the truth. But it's not it's really not a comfortable. Yeah, the truth kicks you in the balls more often than

not. Yes, quite literally. And it's a and that's that's what so when you hear people who talk about having terrible trips on psychedelics, quite often that's triggered by an encounter with the truth. Sure. Big T truth, which is like, you're going to fucking die. Right. And that's a heavy thing for a lot of people. But but once you get to the other side of it, it's like the greatest gift you can get because you don't fear it anymore. You know, your opinion of death is that would be a shame because I didn't get to do the shit I wanted to do. But you're not scared after you've been there. And ayahuasca is perfect for that. That's why they call it the vine of death. It will force you to go face to face with that with your death. I mean, that's just it's just part of the standard

protocol for ayahuasca. You know, it does that to pretty much everybody. And it's it's pretty intense from that. You got to die. You got to die. And you got to accept it. You know, for me, I've told this story a few times, but you know, that very first ayahuasca session down in Peru in the jungle. When was this? This was a few years ago, two years, two and a half years ago. And yeah, that maybe only two years ago. But that very first session, you know, drank a big cup of brew out in the middle of Peruvian rainforest, no power out there. There's some generators they run during the day. But, you know, old traditional shaman doesn't speak any English and was doing his Icaros, his song. Yes. The ayahuasca forced me to face as many horrific deaths as it could. It

started going through the usual suspects. I had snakes crawling inside my body, eating my organs. I had spiders coming in through my eyes and exploding in my brain. One particularly heinous thing. There was this vine of thorns and I was holding onto the vine and sliding down it naked, which was even more horrific. Yeah, there's like ripping up my balls and my ass and like just sliding down, tearing up my flesh. And I was kind of okay with that because of the training I'd had with the and experiences I'd had with the other shaman and a few others. I knew to just witness it, allow it and like, okay, this is what's happening today. So it didn't fuck me up. And I think the ayahuasca needs to get you fucked up. And for me, my fear is, you know, I've had some

people in my family die of lymphoma. Right. And so that was my button, you know, so ayahuasca goes and tells me, okay, now you got lymphoma, by the way, you're going to die. Yeah. And I was like, no way, no fucking way. And I started to resist it. And I started to get a little panicked. It's like, nope, you're going to die. You got it already. It's late stage. You're done, son. Yes. And I was like, Oh my God, no, it can't be, it can't be. And then finally, I said, you know what, fuck it. If that's the worst that's going to happen, if that's my fate, so be it. And at that very moment, the whole thing shifted. And I felt like one of those people from Avatar, where the fibers of ayahuasca came in and just cradled me back to the earth. And it was the most peaceful

absolution of all of that terror and fear that I've ever had. And that point, that was my death and rebirth. That seed, what you just described, that feeling, I think that feeling is so I think it's number one, I think it's accessible without psychedelics. But I think and I think people access it all the time, but they close themselves off to it because they're sadists or rather masochists. And they don't feel okay with that level of happiness. They feel like if they hit that level of happiness, they won't accomplish anything anymore, because they have paired their accomplishments with suffering. They think the only way that I can succeed, the only way that I can, that I'll get anything done is if I'm afraid of failure, or which is just

a fear of death, dulled down to like at the societal level, you know, that feeling, man. I had that feeling recently because I got one of my testicles chopped off because of ball cancer. And recently I started jogging. So I've been running like five miles every other day. And yeah, it's great. But also what happened in the beginning was one of my one poor little darling ball was like slapping against my leg as I was running, you know, just like getting, it's just dealing with like a sudden exercise. So it started double duty now. Yeah. Yeah, it's having to produce so much, you know, double jizz. It's, it's, it's like, yeah, it's having to work really hard. Now it's getting like earthquakes every other day. So

so my ball started hurting. And I was like, really, I started getting really scared because I'm like, oh, mother fuck, my other ball is going to, I'm going to have to get my other fucking testicle chopped off. I'm going to be a harem guard. So it was terrifying, man. And so, you know, I went up with Rogan to shoot this thing for sci-fi, looking for Bigfoot. And Rogan got, you know, Joe's got like, never, I always forget how strong his fucking weed is, man. I don't know where he gets it or what it is, but I always forget. And I, you know, you forget. And then you're like, yeah, you're just smoking it like normal weed and you forget. And then suddenly I'm like, Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, God. Oh, God. And I was sitting,

we're in some weird little like, some weird little bar out there and I'm sitting in front of the fire and like, you know, I'm not going to tell, I'm going to want to, there's no point in telling people if you think you have cancer symptoms, you just have to get them checked out yourself and then tell people why scare, why burn other people with your fear. But I'm sitting there with this absolute terror and I, it's very similar to your story because I'm sitting there thinking, well, this is it, man, you're going to be a fucking eunuch. And more than that, you're probably just going to die. You're going to die cancer, die cancer, die cancer, die cancer. The brain starts chattering that and then all of a sudden I'm like, all right, man, I guess I'm going to

fucking die cancer. Okay, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. And then it's so weird immediately, this sense of like, the spaciousness, this rush of like, yeah, but still everything's perfect. That's right. What the fuck? Everything's perfect. How is that possible? Your rational mind can't accept the two things existing exactly parallel to each other. Catastrophe and destruction somehow coinciding completely and perfectly with this innate safety and perfect tranquil bliss, or as my mother called it, being held. Those two things, man, it's very hard to... It is. And you know, it's such a, seems like such a simple choice that you made, you know, to say, okay, so be it. And that one acceptance, the other option would have been, okay, I'm at a bar,

the weed's getting me a little up and ante, maybe I'll drink seven whiskey shots and then I'll forget about it. And then you kind of bury it for a minute. That doesn't fix it. That voice will come back and come back until you finally just say, okay, do your worst motherfucker. If that's it, I'm still happy. And it's like, okay, cool. That's just what I was trying to tell you in the first place. You know, that's that kind of feeling that you get is like, all right, now I'm on the other side. It's pretty fucking cool. And it's a simple choice that you can make to just face it. And I think that's with anything really, just face it. You know, if you're in a hole, you know, instead of being panicking about being in a hole, just get a shovel, dig through the

bottom of the hole and see what's on the other side of that shit. I like that. Instead of saying instruct a ladder, your advice is to keep going down. I'll back in this field. My heart's broken. Let's see how much I can eviscerate it, rip it apart, and then see what happens. At the point that you're staring straight into the heart of your fear, it disappears. You know, it's only when you're trying to look away that you that it, you know, has hold over you, has power over you. This is I call what you're saying insider information because because it's something that you if you haven't been inside, you don't I speak from my own personal experience because you hear people saying these fucking things when you haven't been there and

you're like, what are you talking about? I do not. I wouldn't want to live in that place. Or you hear about, you know, the Buddha sitting at the edge of the char pits, watching bodies decompose, or you see the shy bites on the banks of the Ganges River drinking out of human skulls, or you see all the different variations of this thing. And you look at that and you and it's completely mystifying, but people don't understand. That's a, you know, I can remember my first, man, I'm still, I'm probably still dumb, but I've been much, much more dumb. And, and so a lot of times really smart people come to me and tell me stuff. And I would just be like roll my eyes and be like, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't even know

what you're talking about. Leave me alone. But I can remember my first encounter with this truth that you're talking about was this freak in Asheville, North Carolina was like, had this book in a coffee shop and he showed me a picture of Kali, you know, the terrifying goddess and her necklace of skulls and she looked so horrifying and frightening. And he said, look, he's like, this is what she looks like when you're scared of her. But when you love the mother, she comes running to you like a lover and holds you. And I can remember just being like, shut the fuck up, weirdo. You fucking Satanist. I didn't even know what Kali was. You're just like, you're a god. Are you trying to fuck me? That's like, maybe those things aren't mutually exclusive,

Duncan. He could have been wise and trying to fuck you. This is not either or here, but. Oh man. So, so Aubrey, I want to ask you, do you ever slip back into the fear? Do you ever find yourself back in there? Absolutely. And I have, you know, I have one of those minds that's persistent. It's hard to, it's hard to kill. It resurfaces a lot. And for me, it's not the fear of death. It's a fear of suffering, you know, a fear of sickness in some, in some place. And I have to constantly kind of work through now that ayahuasca session was a huge step and has diminished that entirely. And I can generally find my way back now through that same method. But if I'm not paying attention, it, it creeps back, you know, pretty right. It creeps. What's the method? What

do you mean the method? Well, there's, you know, several different methods. I mean, some is just, you know, real, you know, good meditation, you know, and just sitting down, relaxing, processing it, remembering the wisdom and the truth that I've experienced through all of these, you know, times throughout my life. And then I can get back to that place, just kind of being quiet and doing my own little rituals that I burn some good smelling things. Do you mind telling us the exact ritual? What you do? Yeah. So I have a little altar and has, you know, a Buddha on it, some pictures of my ancestors and some artifacts that I've collected from different places, you know, New Mexico, Peru, you know, Costa Rica, some of the African artifacts from the aboga ceremony and

all things that are kind of sacred to me. And I just sit there peacefully. I like the Palo Santo usually, which is kind of my favorite incense and Palo Santo. Yeah. Have you ever, have you ever smelled that? Oh, shit, I got some actually for you. Oh, let's thank you very much. Let's you want to light it up. Let's torch it right now. Let's do this. Now this is what this is, is does not look like incense to me. This looks like a it's an actual piece of a very sweet smelling wood from a tree that grows native in the Amazon. And so this is like the Amazonian sage. Right here. This is what it is. Holy shit. Thank you, Aubrey. Wow. Cool, man. Oh, the smell is,

well, I'm such a goddamn placebo effect person that I'm going to say it's giving me a deja vu, but that's, I am definitely going to take ayahuasca. Yeah, for sure. Well, one of the cool things about this for me is when I first smelled it, the times were actually in the rainforest. So it has that kind of, it brings me back to those times when I was at my probably spiritual peak, you know, just kind of lit up from all the ayahuasca and the cleansing. So it kind of draws me back to that period. It's a very clean smell. It's a very, it's like, I like it much more than I like sage. I'm not a big sage fan, but this is like a, yeah, this is a very psychic, this is a very psychedelic, amazing, unique smell. I've never

smelled it before. Thank you very much. You're welcome, man. So you burn this. You burn this, and then I have a couple of different methods that I use. One of my favorite methods is I try and, you know, when you close your eyes, sometimes you'll get little pictures, kind of ephemeral pictures going through your head. Yes. And to quiet my thoughts and my rational mind, I'll actually start following those pictures into whatever they'll become. What do you think those are? Is that your third eye? It could be. It's a weird, it's that, it's kind of in that boundary between waking and dreaming, you know, you start to get, I start to notice those. And a few times where I've caught myself kind of in that threshold, I start to see those. So it's this something that

goes on behind the surface in the mind. I don't really have a good theory. Does it feel like there's a movement to these images as though you're going in the direction of something? Absolutely. You know, that's what I've noticed with those is it feels like you're, you're suddenly on some trip or your move, you know, it's moved. There is a forward motion to what, to these things. I wonder what that is. I don't know. I don't know. But that's, and that's kind of what I follow. And I will follow that and focus on my breath. And the key is to kind of quiet the mind. And I'll tend to drop into a state eventually where I can actually start thinking about issues. But the first, first challenge is to get my brain to kind of quiet down. And that's one of my better techniques

is to follow the images, think about the breath. Otherwise, my monkey brain is just going to keep chattering constantly. You know, so I have to break that down a little bit before I can get into the right mode. So this is, so you're sitting? Do you sit in the lotus position? Man, I'm not that flexible. I wish I was. Yeah. Indian Indian style for a little while. And then I'll have like a cushion that I'll sit on to kind of, you know, help the hips a little bit for the Indian style. And then I'll just lie down too. You know, I'm not, I'm not afraid to just go straight on my back. You know, I don't fall asleep easy. So it's not really a high risk position for me just to pass out. Right. So it's usually goes that so like, you know, Indian style

and then into kind of a Shavasana position. Do you do, do you practice yoga? Not as much as I should, but that's another thing that I really love to do when I actually do it. But, you know, it's hard to find the time not only just to do the yoga, but to go to the studio. And it's hard for me to do a full yoga session on my own. I probably need to break that barrier. Yes. And be able to lead myself through one. Oh man, I've got to do it around. There has to be people around me to do it. I mean, that's about it. Yeah. So this meditation, so that's that. So you, you follow these third eye weird images, and then you get into the part of your mind that's chattering. And then do you have what, what is there? You just, do you go into mindfulness? Is that what you would

call this type of meditation? I would say so. Yeah. I think that's a fair way to put it. It's really my own kind of method. You know, I haven't really learned, you know, I've learned about different things and different things, the chance you can say and all that. And none of that's ever really worked too well for me. And this is the method that I find most appealing, probably, because it's similar to what I do when I do psychedelics, which is kind of the way for me. You know, I have a thick skull. I sometimes need the sledgehammer of the mushrooms to actually get it to, Hey, stop, you know, stop being, you know, being crazy. I, you know, yeah, I think that that is a, that is a part that it is a sledgehammer effect. And I, you know, my last mushroom trip,

man. I, I, well, my last real mushroom trip, like I'm a big fan of micro doses of mushrooms, where you take very small, small amounts and it creates this kind of euphoric state. But my last, like big, shouldn't have listened to Terence McKenna before I did this, you know, like take around like doses, like I took a huge dose. And the sense I got was like, it was just the, I was, they were entities. I was, I was swarmed by, for lack of a better word, elves and, which I always see when I'm on mushrooms or whatever, those things, you know what I mean? Those, when you say elves, anyone who, it's not like, how big were they? How big are they when you see them?

They're, oh, my friend, they're, they vary. I see, like, but, but they, I see these, when I say it's like primordial, archetypical, animistic, humanoid beings that have a wild quality to them and seem either amused, mildly amused or even irritated by the sudden link in consciousness of someone being able to see them. And, and those, this was like a, my experience was there are two parts to it. The first part was eating these mushrooms, being in a hotel room, because we're at the spa and then putting my hands on the bed and seeing my fingers like extend out, flow out into the bed and just, I'm like, oh no, oh no, this is not, this is like in like within, you know, 30 minutes, this is the beginning of the trip

and when you're on my finger, hands are already melting, like, I am fucked because I was not, I didn't want to, I don't know what I wasn't thinking clearly about, I did it wrong. But anyway, walking, walking towards a lawn chair to go and lay down and then this like resident that's still small voice that isn't quite your voice, I hear this voice saying, we are the eternal guardians of the universe and we have deep work to do on you now. And like, like, and that too is like, no, no eternal good, no fucking guardians of the universe, he may have bullshit, I wanted to float in the spa, maybe like see some bright colors. Back off, fuck faces. And then I, because all resistance, pure resistance at the end of a

relationship ever broke every rule of sight, basically just broke every rule of psychedelics. And it was the classic like, being taken to task by whatever that thing is for being an irresponsible adult. And so then it was laying on the, on this lawn chair and I, man, it seemed like, like if you imagine it, like, I guess it's the way cats probably see human kids, where it's like the human kids, when they get around a cat, they don't want to hurt the cat, they're not thinking like, I want to hurt this cat, but they're like, still gonna push it around and grab its paws and pull its ears and poke it and throw it around a little bit. But it's, they're not, they're not malicious. It was that same sense of these like, youthful, super advanced

things, identified that I was aware of them and then started like, swimming through my body, it was like, there was use swimming through me. And then I'm, that's when I started praying, because I'm, I was like, Oh God, please, please God help me, please God help me, please God help me, please God help me. And then they were like mocking that prayer in my head going, please God help me, please God help me, please. You know, whatever that is, you know, whether or not these are actual interdimensional being children that are just playing around with a big fat, dopey, hippy, you ate too many mushrooms, or whether or not it's like my own realization of how my prayer is bullshit or that's like not whatever the bullshit part of me that's like whatever it was,

it was my face was getting shoved in it. And then after that experience, I've kind of felt like, well, I think I'm going to give mushrooms a rest for a little while. That's a wild story. You know, I've felt a lot of these beings, but they've never been as mischievous as a lot of the people say, you know, I get them in the DMT experiences when I experience them the most. And they all tend to be like a thousand, they tend to be very micro usually, and it's like a thousand little doctors just tweaking things like tweaking my organs, tweaking my head. And then sometimes bigger beings will come like a giant food dog one time, like attached itself to my chest. Oh, what? Like, you know, those Chinese food dogs you see out of like Chinese food restaurants,

you know, this big one comes up and bites me on the chest, because like, and then starts like glowing with light and like getting hotter and brighter and brighter. I'm like, whoa. You know, like weird things or a hummingbird will come in and like pierce my throat and start like drinking nectar out of my throat and then like pushing something back in. I've had hover ships, like pull smoke out of me. And then other ones, this other really metallic one came in and beamed this light underneath my tongue. I've had weird stuff like that, but nothing like as mischievous as a lot of people talk about. Probably because you're cool. I don't know about that. You know, it's just you probably because you have your energy is very balanced and you have this,

the focused energy of somebody who's been doing work on themselves for a while. So I think when you've been doing that, the psychedelic experience, you don't get like that, because it's the initial attacks that lead you in the direction of being like, shit, man, I got to fucking work them. I got to like start working on myself. Like my mind is insane. And so now there's a few things I want to talk about that you earlier, you mentioned that you had taken Ibogaine. Can you tell me a little bit? Were you addicted? Did you take it to get it? Were you addicted to something? So we went to, I went to this clinic out in Costa Rica and they do two different, two different ceremonies. It was a 10th generation Buiti Shaman who's gone down there to do some work. I can't

recommend that same clinic anymore because some things going on with that, but I can speak about the medicine itself. So there's two programs. One is the, you know, heroin addiction recovery program. The other, they called the psycho spiritual program, which is basically just take it and go on a journey. And that's the one I signed up for. And that's a fucking trip. That's completely different than anything else. So you read about it and you know, it's going to be a 16 to 24 hour trip itself, which you can't really fathom when you're thinking about like, yeah, right. I'm sure it's just like the glow of it. But the first thing you do, you know, he has, he has you write down a bunch of questions. It's like, write down all these questions and you'll get to them. I was like,

all right, whatever. So I wrote down like 10 questions, like more questions. So like, okay, I'm more questions, fine. And then you take it and it takes a while to kick in. So it was about two hours. I thought nothing was happening, but I was getting kind of antsy. And then all of a sudden I could feel my heartbeat starting going like a very stimulant effect. And Ibogaine itself is a very stimulatory drug. And it's just one of the reasons why you have such a long trip. And then it kind of snapped in. And I literally felt like I had a blinking cursor that I could point to any direction in my life in the universe, ask any question I wanted. And the voice of my own higher self would come and tell me the answer just straight up no bullshit. I mean, with ayahuasca,

it's like there's all this information out there from source. And you're pulling this information, it's crashing against your perception and creating these amazing pictures. And they're kind of like riddles, you're trying to figure them out. And maybe you figure some of them out, some of them are just complete nonsense. You can't translate it. You know, but it's like information that has no translation with that with the Iboga. It's there. It's literally just telling you, Hey, dummy, like stop doing that stupid. You know, it just broke me down immediately right from the start. It's like, okay, you have three parts. One part is mine boy. That's the thing you take so much pride in about your mind. It's like a juvenile little child and you need to shut it up and get

it out of the way. And then there's your true self. And that's what you need to bring to bear. And you know, your third eye, that kind of consciousness awareness, your true eternal self. And that's who needs to be driving the ship. And then your third part, we're going to call him mud body. And mud body likes to fuck. He likes to fight. He likes to do these different things. And this is what makes you up. And it just started breaking down my whole psychology and telling me like, this is where you're screwed up in so many different ways. It went through so many different things. But you know, some parts were, there was one really kind of funny part. So I'm sitting there. It's horribly uncomfortable to your completely like unbearably nauseous, like more nauseous than

you've ever been. When you open your eyes, it's like, you're looking through one of those old TV screens. It's not getting reception. Well, there's like lines of static. Your body's hot. And it feels like you're in a high voltage shed. You can hear this palpable buzz the whole time. So eventually I knew I had to piss. It was like five, six hours in. It's like, I had to piss. So I get up and I go to the bathroom. I go to the bathroom. I go to take a piss. And I see that my dick had shrunk to the smallest possible size of any human being could ever have. It was like, as hard as a rock. It had like the density of Pluto because it was all like sucked in. It was like dick jerky. It was like no fluid in it at all. And I was like, Oh my God, what is happening to

me? But it's like such a strong stimulant that it, you know, it takes everything out of your body. So I was looking at it. I started to panic because I'm on, you know, this crazy psychedelic. I'm like, Oh my God, I got to fix this. I got to fix this. I started to rub it, like try to get it back to life. It wouldn't come back to life. I was like, Okay, look, I can do this. I can think about pussy and I'll get some blood flow going on. It's the worst thing you could possibly do on a bogey is think about pussy because I started to understand the pussy. Like I understood why each fold was there and how that little anteater dropy thing comes in as the scientist call it. Yeah. Yeah. And sucks a sperm up. And I was like, Oh no, this is terrible. But everything you think about,

you have like an amazing, impeccable understanding of from your own life to things you don't want to hear. I actually was with my fiance at the time and I thought we were going to get married. And a bogey was like, Yeah, you're not going to get married to her. She's not the one for you. And I was like, What the fuck are you talking about? Like, you're wrong. This is bullshit. Like that's, that's wrong. And I argued with the aboga yourself for like a couple hours. And you have time, time to just argue with, with the higher powers that be. And what do you think those higher powers are Aubrey? This one in this particular case, you know, I don't know all these entities and things. I'm, you know, the jury's still out for me. I really feel like we need like the LeBron

James of tripping to go and like trip and talk to one of these entities and find some crucial information that can prove it one way or another. But that hasn't happened. So I don't know if that's us and them, but this clearly was and felt like my higher self. Like I was communicating with whatever part of me existed in the non material world. When you, when you earlier, you were talking about the ayahuasca visions and you said, you use the term source. What do you mean by that? You know, that's my vocabulary for God really. That's what I'm most comfortable saying. So for me as well. All right. I asked the aboga about what is, you know, what's the nature of the

universe and God. And aboga showed me something that I think has been my analogy. Usually he was just talking to me, just chatting like, Hey, this is this is this. When I asked about God, it kind of shut up. Like I said, all right, I can't describe this to you in words. I'm gonna have to show you. And it showed me the universe is this giant heartbeat and all the planets as they explode out in the big bang are like blood cells reaching the extremities of the known universe. And eventually they run out of energy and collapse back and then explode again. So this kind of infinite big bang. And then the nature of God had showed me was this kind of ephemeral blue Titan looking thing that was just running. And it was running to keep the heart pumping.

And that was its only purpose was to say yes to say like, I'll keep running so that this heartbeat keeps going and new worlds keep exploding. And that was its purpose that kind of force of life that says yes, yes to creation, yes to the heartbeat of the universe. And yes to life, yes to order. So you saw Krishna. Yeah, maybe, you know, what if that would if that had been my kind of tradition, I bet you that's what that was blue, you know, really? Yeah, I don't know that. Do you have you read the Bhagavad Gita? I have it. Oh, you should. Yeah, everything you just described is sort of the it. Yeah, it's interesting. It, of course, the expansion of the universe and the collapse of the universe, it's considered to be their scales of time are fascinating.

So they talk about like one day of Brahma is like, I don't know, I'll make up a number, you know, 500,000 human years or some incredible span of time. And so there are these infinite cycles that happen. And the cycles are made up of periods of time called you guys. So right now we're in what's called Kali you go, which is the final cycle of this particular expansion of the breath of Brahman that is, and then at the end of the age of Kali Yuga, the all the energy gets sucked back in. And so it's definitely compared to arrest a thing that's breathing in and out and in and out. And then also Krishna talks about I wish I could remember the exact first, but it's very similar to your trip, which is just that

the necessity of action and how Krishna says, you know, I, I'm everything. And if I stop acting, then all the universe will fall apart. I can read, I'll show you these, I'll show you the exact verse. But yeah, that's the, and for whatever reason, that entity is blue. And I've never understood why, but they describe as the color of storm clouds blue, like it's fascinating. Yeah. That's wild. I've never read that. I mean, I'm familiar with some of the things, but I've just never that story at all. Well, it's, I mean, this is the, you know, the story of Carl Jung, when he was in the mid, did you ever hear this? He worked at a mental asylum and he also had been this like, he's as brilliant, you know, Carl Jung is. So, yes. And sort of when he started

getting tipped off to this, what seems to be this idea that like, imprinted in our neurology is the gods are inside of our brains. It's there inside of us was he was in a mental asylum and there was a lunatic who was raving about very specifically about how the sun has a cock and the cock of the sun coming down to the earth and really describing it in all these great, great detail. And Carl Jung is listening to this. He's like, wait, hold on. I've heard this before. And what this guy in a mental asylum in Germany, I think was describing was identical to a religion of this indigenous tribe that Carl Jung had read about in some rare manuscript that he had. So then suddenly he's like, okay, what the fuck is this man to coincidental to coincidental. So how is this man who never

had any contact in any, no one's had contact, contact with this religion suddenly raving about this thing. And so yeah, that was the beginning of this notion of like, oh, well, there must be imprinted within our very neurology, these symbols systems, you know, which I, which I believe that we project out into the into the swirl of phenomena. So was he saying that it was more like DNA based or was it the collective unconsciousness that was an existence outside of, you know, the human material being itself? I don't know. I don't know either. I that's a great question though. I mean, that's what you that's what you know, people who take psychedelics, that's something that we all always, this is this, it's a question that we all end up coming up to, which is,

are we seeing a thing external to ourselves that exists external to us? Or are we seeing a projection of ourselves into chaos? And there's a lot of different ways to put that. The answer is both. And this is, this is, and, or I'm not, forgive me for saying the answer is like, I like the boldness though, I believe I was like, yeah, awesome. That's great. You should say more things. The answer is anytime you're saying that, you raise the finger, raise the finger, raise the finger right up your ass. But, but yeah, the so there's a term. And I always miss, I don't pronounce it correctly. You can look it up. There's an actual Wikipedia page dedicated to it. But it's something like a sink a sink

a beta top, which means simultaneous oneness and difference, which is the idea that this thing that you're talking about this great breathing superorganism, which consists of the stars and the planets and all the minuscule aspects of the stars on the planet, of which we're one little part. This thing simultaneously exists as one unified field of consciousness, undifferentiated. And also as a thing broken does smithereens. That's interesting. You know, there's another, have you ever heard of the ha aponapono? No, aponapono philosophy. It's like a, it's the Hawaiian kahunas have this philosophy. And it's kind of a, both a psychology and a philosophy that a way to interact with different people. And

their philosophy is, is that inside all of us is, you know, that piece of source, divine life, whatever. And at the very root, that part is not part of the material world. And as it's not part of the material world, it doesn't have defining characteristics. It is just source. It is just God. It is just life, whatever your vocabulary permits. And intrinsically, that's all the same. It's everything else that's piled upon it. That's different. So the theory that they have is that if you want to change anything and anybody else, all you have to do is look inside to this mutual piece that you share with that person and meditate and focus on fixing and forgiving that part in yourself. And it will affect other people. And as the story goes, this one pretty famous kahuna,

it's the stories written in this book called zero limits, which is really interesting and a little bit kooky at the same time. But the story goes that he went to his mental institute in Hawaii and practiced the ha aponapono philosophy and completely cleared out the mental hospital. Wow. It's the word. It's just he ended up healing all these different people. And it's pretty cool kind of philosophy for both not only clearing patterns in your own life, but actually working on different relationships. And you say, you know, these four things you say, thank you, I'm sorry, I love you, forgive me. Oh, that's what you say to clear to clear this energy. You say it to yourself, say it to yourself, always to yourself, you say it to that part of

yourself. That is the MDMA trip there, isn't it? It is. That's it, man. Because when you take MDMA, that is my that's if you take it in the right way, not at the UFC. Who would do that? Who would ever do something like that? Me. But that's a recreational use of the drug. God damn it, it does have recreational uses. You know, it's not all just to like, forgive yourself. But when you I get, I can remember my first experience with MDMA. What did you call this meditation? Haponopono. Haponopono. I did it. I remember I my first experience with ecstasy when it kicked in was that I realized, oh my God, I've hated myself for for so long. And then you look and you're like, oh, you're fine.

You're fine. Yeah. I love you. Oh, why did I hate you like that? And then all of a sudden that thing glows inside of you. Oh, man, that's a great feeling, isn't it? It is a great feeling. Absolutely. It's so great to forgive yourself. And you know, if we had lived at one with this kind of Haponopono philosophy, we probably wouldn't need MDMA. You know, we've kind of stayed on the course. The problem is, all of our train tracks have been way the fuck off course. So we need these heavy earth movers, as I like to call them sometimes, like MDMA, to really get back to a place where we can actually go there and and you know, have a meditation like that where you can look in yourself truly forgive and find that inner self love. Yes. And that does the moment

you do that, you know, that that that's when everything, you know, recently I was all fucked up over this girl and like, I was also my mom, I was everything was falling apart. My mom had passed away. I was screwy. Everything was screwy. And beyond that's a really shitty word to use for things are screwy. My mom died. What's going on? It's a tough fucking stretch. Yeah, it was but but it was chaos. And it was just like the, you know, a friend of mine put it really well. It's just like it really, you know, when a parent passes away, it really shakes up your snow globe. And that's a great way to put it. So anyway, but really what was happening was I

was going into victim a victim place, you know, I was going into a victim place, I was going into and I couldn't help it. But when I went to this meditation retreat with Ram Dass, it was like this experience, you know, of like getting back to this sense of like, because in that situation, instead of it being MDMA for giving you and showing you love, it's just all these people have been working on themselves for years and years and years in a non phony way, just loving you and loving you and loving you. And then that does this exact same thing where all of a sense like, Oh, Oh, I remember now, if all these strangers love me, I should love myself. Yeah. And it starts the, you know, it shows you that light again. And then right after that,

everything worked out with the girl and everything worked out. Everything went back, went back to a place of productivity. And it's not like I'm ever going to get over, you never get over your parent passing away, but it everything became equalized and stabilized from this finding that love inside of you, which, which seems to be the most important practice, I guess. Absolutely. You know, I think there's also, you know, I've been, been getting into kind of the Toltec philosophy as well from Don Miguel Ruiz. I got to spend some time with him as well. And that's, you know, really his, you know, his main push is this to have ruthless self love for yourself, to not permit anything else. And so when you get in these cycles, he actually tells a story of one

woman who was as, you know, they, as he said, you know, kind of addicted to that suffering victim complex. And he's told her, he said, all right, here's what you're going to do. Whenever that happens, whenever you start feeling sorry for yourself and start getting this suffering, he said, go in the mirror and look in the mirror and say, I am a parasite that is addicted to suffering. And he's just, and he's just, and so she was like, no, I don't want to do that. He's like, yeah, go in the mirror. And so eventually she became aware that that part of her is kind of a parasite that's feeding and addicted to suffering itself. Wow, man. That's great. It was cool. I am a parasite that's addicted to suffering. I just want to suffer and I just want to hate myself

and I just want to shit all over my precious life for as long as I can until I die miserable and alone because that's what I like. That's the expansion. And then for them, that's, that's what allows that awareness is what allows you to break it because then you realize I'm sure I don't want to be that. Who is that? What am I doing? And I, you know, I sound like I'll look, these thoughts that come into your head when you find yourself like tisking your life or this thing, you, you think if there was, if this person was outside of me. Oh yeah, you punch him. I'd punch him. I'd never be friends with him. I'd never call him, but somehow in, because it's in my mind, suddenly this is like, oh yes, he's right. Oh yes, totally

right. Very interesting parasite. That is the parasite. And it is a parasite, but it's not, this is where it, no, this is a really curious place, which is that, you know, this is what Ramadan says is the trick here, the ruthless self love. It doesn't mean we just love ourselves. You got to love the parasite too. That's what Ram. That's what they say is like, even that thing, this ruthless self love is even that fucking thing you start showing unconditional positive regard for like, okay, you pour, you pour, I can't do it. I'm gonna, I think it's hard. Let's get these advanced teachings a little more challenging. Yeah, yes, they do. And you, again, you, here's two, two things that you've talked about,

which when you hear them, it sounds so easy. One, surrender to death and two, love yourself unconditionally and ruthlessly. And if you, I suppose if you were to pull these two things off, I don't have a big smile on your face here. Yeah, you're going to get a peak cops are going to start stopping you to search here. For sure. Yes. But these two things, you know, there, this is, you know, when I, when I, I'm sorry, guys, I've said this before, but I've never told Aubrey when I got to meet Ramdas, the thing he said to me, and it was very simple, but he said, he pointed to his forehead and he said, you have to move from here and then to his heart to here. And, and I said, well, that's so, that's so difficult. And he smiled and this, you know,

you're in front of Ramdas, you know, and he just smiled in this beautiful way. He's like, no, it isn't, you know, it isn't hard. It's the fucking parasite that tells you it's hard. That shit ball parasite is like, no, so hard to make that move. Better to stay up here in the attic with the old fucking rugs and old musty stuffed and bomb memories from your, from your life. Yeah, you know, they say that this spending some time with Don Miguel Ruiz was pretty cool because, you know, they, they described, they came up with kind of that concept of the warrior and the warrior for them is a person who is dedicated to fighting basically the parasite, you know, and, and battling the parasite. That is the battle that the warrior undertakes. It's

not being, you know, holding a sword and brandishing a weapon. It's, it's the battle with your own mind, those own demons that you have and coming to terms with that. And basically, you know, how they say the parasite kind of develops is that, you know, they call the dream of the world, they call it the metote. It's what society thinks. It's what you're supposed to do. It's all of these expectations that you have for yourself and society has for you that no one can possibly live up to, you know, so this voice gets to judging you based on that. What's the term for that again? The metote, the dream of the world. Yeah. So, so because you're never going to fit into that, this voice starts to say, oh,

you're not good enough. You're not good enough to be this. And you start judging yourself. And, and it just kind of develops. And then from there, the first step is awareness. And then from awareness, you got to eradicate it by, you know, as you said, probably the most powerful way to do it is that japonopono philosophy of just loving and say, Hey, I recognize you. You are a parasite, but I love you too, because you're part of me. And at the point that you can do that, then you've really taken the power from it. Then you've just robbed it of all of its venom. Yes. And it turns from a vicious cobra to a little worm to golem. Yeah, exactly. It's just this poor pathetic thing that wants power. And it's just a, and you know, who knows,

maybe you love it enough and that it'll actually transform into something useful. I imagine it would. I imagine the parasite has within it the potential to once you get that thing on your side, you know, you, these things that you're talking about, they get us closer and closer to a state of non-differentiation and a state, that state of unified consciousness that I think is the place that the saints live in, where they go through these steps and each step gets you closer and closer and closer to non-existence or to, when I say non-existence, I mean the opposite of what we consider to be existence, which is probably what we consider to be existence is non-existence. So this is the birthing of the soul. Have you heard of Gurjeev? No, I haven't.

You would love him. The way he put it was, we are spiritual machines and most people are all assemblages of imitation. So it's sort of like you're born, children are one of the amazing things human children do. All babies do is they imitate, imitate, imitate, imitate, and they do it quickly because the faster you can imitate your parents, the quicker you survive. Yes. So all this imitation happens early on and then you forget that you've done the imitating and so now you are, you don't even, every single action that you do, every movement, every twitch, every nuance, every overt thing, Gurjeev would say, this is a, you have, you're just a robot that's locked into autopilot and you don't, he said, you don't start with a soul. You have to grow

a soul. You have to, isn't that amazing? And you sort of like, so the idea is through, through this process, you shake off the mechanical, imitative persona that you have worn. It's basically, you just put on a suit that your parents and all the important people, you take that thing off and you exist in this sort of like naked state of instantaneous, yes. Yeah. That's, that's the idea. And you know, as we're thinking about this, one thing that I wanted to talk to you about in the first place is, you know, imagine if, and I've just been speaking a lot with Danielle, so this is kind of in my head. He's talking about creating your own religion. I was thinking about creating our own church. So let's say we wanted to create the best church for people possible, right? Yeah.

That church would be put on the most beautiful landscape possible, you know, imagine some epic landscape we could go to. Maybe there was one in every different environment. So there was the mountain church, there was the sea church, there was the woods. And then in that place, you had different shamans from these cultures offering the entheogenic ceremony. So you have the ayahuasca shaman that you could go to that day, or you have the, you know, the mushroom Maria Savina shaman, like I went to out there, you have the peyote sweat lodge there. And then you have people like Ramdas coming in to give, you know, to give speeches or Don Miguel to talk about this one day. I mean, that is the kind of place that would be amazing to go to, to just reconnect.

You wouldn't have to go every Sunday, but let's just say it was there and like, oh man, I'm just feeling off. I want to go to the church of experience right now and get some, get some shit happening. But instead churches are these clusterfucks that just breed guilt and contempt for yourself and all kinds of things. But imagine if you could create another one. You know, I love thinking about that. Cause when you think about that, what you start, the next thing that falls is like, well, if those things existed in mass, then I think we'd be 20 years away from a time machine or, you know, we'd be turning the corner into like the, where we're probably going to go to anyway. I don't think you can, you know,

these churches you described, you know what they're called? Church. I don't know what these assholes are doing now, but what you just described, if you go and look at, you know, there's a great book, marijuana, I can't remember. It's the history of the religious use of marijuana. You know, it talks about how in early Christian ceremonies, in Judaic ceremonies, they would burn hash and you'd just be breathing in this like intoxicant as you were chanting and there was this incredible connectivity that happened. But what's happening now is the emergence of a new religion is forming. I agree. Absolutely. And you know, all of these different methods, you know, we've been talking a lot about psychedelics, but as you said, you

don't need to do that. I mean, meditation will get you there. Flotation tanks can get you there. There's all kinds of ways that you can get to these experiences, just some particularly thick-headed monkeys like me and maybe you. And me. Yeah. And I like it. Yeah. Need to get whacked over the head with something a little stronger. I enjoy getting whacked over the head in a lot of different ways, but the, um, the, the, uh, this, so this thing that you're talking about, I think that this, there's a momentum in the direction of even the word religion, I think, is a, is a, as in, you know, these sons of bitches, they've taken all these symbols and they've shit all over them. They've hijacked them. So it's like, it's almost like you need all new

symbols because the, whenever you say religion to anyone these days, they think of their parents making them wear uncomfortable shirt and dragging them to listen to somebody say things they didn't understand in Latin, but ultimately so many bad associations. Yes. Well, but that's the, you know, this, um, uh, the, uh, the parasite took over religion and the, um, but what you're talking about is in the same way that the planet wants to grow forests, I think the planet wants to grow this thing and a natural expansion of the thing after all of us like exchange enough bits of information and hopefully the information gets out to more motivated people than us. That's what I always think. If I just keep yapping about this, somebody's gonna, someone will actually act. Yeah.

But, but, and I think you see it in small ways, like Alex Gray, um, is creating, uh, his example of sacred mirrors. You see these kinds of like things emerging. The problem is, uh, as with all, as with all true religions, the, uh, powers that be will throw you in the dungeon. If you, our old draconian system will come and lock you away for your own fucking good. Exactly, man. And this is not a new thing. This is, this has been the story of religion from any time a great new religion forms like early Christianity. When you had these lunatics in, uh, practicing, what did you call it? Oppo, the home. Opponopono. Opponopono practicing this. Opponopono, which is this, you know what? I'm not afraid of, I don't care if you kill me, go ahead and throw me into

the goddamn lines. I'm going to love you no matter what. Right. And I'm going to, and I'm going to forgive myself and I'm going to be connected with the universe and I'm going to be a representation of, um, what humans can be. I think that's why Christ always would refer to himself as I'm the son of man, the son of man, the son of man, Manson. No. But, but, but so, but look what happened to them. Uh, crucifixions, executions, you know, and, and the only time that people stopped killing the sons of bitches is when they started killing other people and then it flipped around and then they became the thing that they were being persecuted by, you know, and now they hate the gays and they fucking, you know, they like war and they like

drones and not all the, there's so much, that's not fair to package them all. Right. Right. Right. But you know, the thing about the Bible, it's just this bundle of contradictions. So pretty much whatever the fuck you want to do, you can get biblical justification for it. Absolutely. You know, and it's like, it's almost, it almost feels like they intentionally did it that way. Like let's write this. So if you want to be good, you can be good. If you want to be a real dick, you can follow these other passages and, you know, have justification for any kind of violence. Whereas a philosophy like how Pono Pono, you know, there's only one real interpretation of how that's going to work. Well, you know, I think that there's a, there's, you know, and

the way this information springs up, it has a varied ways it springs up. And the way that they say there's, there's different forms of yoga because there's the acknowledgement that there's different types of people. So some people like the initiatory process of being taken from suddenly realizing that the tapestry that they've been walking on their whole lives is in fact a very detailed map that can lead them into a super advanced state of hyper consciousness that I think can come from practicing real Christianity, especially as I said before, taking LSD and reading the New Testament will definitely like help you understand a little bit more of what's going on, you know, especially because like if you look at the stories that Jesus said, the parables,

if you are an alien species and you wanted to communicate big bits of information to a bunch of different planets, what would you do? You would look at their reproductive cycles and their food source and all the, so many of the parables are about grain, seeds and marriage, which are all primary components to the life of our species. So it's like, it is as though an advanced intelligence picked out shit that would last throughout as long as there's life because the moment that we stop fucking or the moment that food goes away, then that's no point in telling stories anymore. So yeah, I think what you're saying, I'm sorry to go on that little tangent way, I think what you're saying about this idea of like there being churches,

I think it's, it's very good to get that idea out there and even church is the wrong goddamn word for it. It's like, whatever you want to call it, but it's a place where people can get together, get in the presence of humans who've really been working on themselves for a long, long time, get some of that spark, mix it in with psychedelics. If you don't want psychedelics, here's vipassana meditation or here's, here's, all we're doing is like, here's what I learned. I've run into these people. I've had these experience and find your own way. You know, have different rooms. Here's the flotation tank room. Here's the yoga room. Here's the vipassana room. Here's the, you know, psychedelic ceremony room and just bring all this information together

and just allow people to say, Hey, this is what I want to dial in for my life. This is what's going to help my spiritual growth at this point. I mean, that is the ideal, you know, that I think ultimately as a species, if we had that, God, I mean, the whole, that's a game changer. If only there was a, if only there was a wealthy, psychonaut entrepreneur who would take the time to do this. Well, maybe someone out there is listening. Man, I can only hope. Hey, if you're out there and you hear this, you should talk to Aubrey. Well played. Duncan, well played. Thank you, sir. Thank you so much. This has been a delight. This has been awesome. We'll have to do it again. Oh, absolutely. Definitely. And every, anytime you're in town, just let me know

so we can repeat this. Thank you. All right, brother. Take care. Take care. Thanks for listening, everyone. You are hearing the Acaro De Los Tribas from Don Evangelio, Mare's El Cuanto del Tiempo, ayahuasca acaros, which is available on iTunes. So download it. This is a really great album with a bunch of it. Acaros are the songs that Shaman sing when you're drinking ayahuasca and they're all really psychedelic and quite soothing. Thanks for listening. If you like this podcast, give us a nice rating on iTunes. Until next time, Hail Monsanto. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

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