Duncan Trussell Family Hour - Derek And Jody Waters

Episode Date: October 1, 2017

Derek Waters (Drunk History) and his amazing MOM join the DTFH and we talk about motherhood, mental illness, and the meaning of family.

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Hello little butter baby, come over here. Looks like we got us a little butter baby playing over here next to this rotting crow carcass. Let's put some earbuds and see if he wants to listen to a podcast. He does. These butter babies love these podcasts and all of you gathered around the flickering digital fire that is the DTFH. I welcome you.

You have tuned in to the nation's top rated podcast. It's considered to be the number one podcast. It has been given every award possible. I can't even go through the list because there's so many. I don't want to bore you and I don't want to seem like I'm bragging. I feel very fortunate to have received three years in a row. Monsanto's top podcaster in America award. I've also received the Halliburton Let's Have Fun Listening to Podcasts trophy as well

as four different awards from the Department of Defense, including the most important podcast for transmitting a secret Illuminati message to the world vaguely disguised as some kind of interview style podcast. For that, I am very, very grateful and this is why I kissed the stone feet of the statue of Zornax every night before I go to bed in my golden tomb. I hope you guys are having a great day. Man, fall is here. Nothing can put me in a better mood than fall.

No matter how rotten things may seem, fall will always pull me out of any kind of personal despair just walking outside and feeling the cool air realizing that God has turned on his air conditioner and that Goddy old fucking summer has gone galloping off into wherever summer spends summer's fall. Let's face it, fall is the best, spring a close second. Any of these liminal seasons, the seasons in between the big seasons, that's where I'd like to hang out. If we could extend fall to all year long and figure out a way to grow crops in the midst

of that and not disrupt the ecosystem and cause a terrible ecological disaster that would more than likely end with all of us covered in ash eating each other's molten flesh then I would do it in a heartbeat. See you later, summer, you're out of here, you're fired, you're gone, you gotta go. We will no longer be trapped in your rotten cycle of blistering heat. We will no longer be forced to wear short sleeve shirts. Nobody wants to wear short sleeve shirts and shorts and flip flops, only a fool would want to dress like that.

No, what we want to do is wear long sleeve flannels, pants, boots, fall style hats. We want to listen to fall style music. It's Nick Drake time, baby. We gotta turn on some Nick Drake and lay in front of the fire with our darling lovers as we discuss a fall style movie like Mother. We're not gonna get shat on by these summer blockbusters anymore. Nope, we can look forward to a series of nice independent films that we can have controversial heated discussions over as we drink red wine and stare into the stuff ahead of a deadly

wolf that we captured outside our family's mansion. I just want to cover myself in fucking rune stones and suck off a unicorn. It's fall, it's memory foam style sleeps and big soft comforters that you pull over yourself and blasting the heater so it feels like you're sitting in the mouth of an overheated walrus watching fall documentaries, Ken Burns, Vietnam's and drinking cider with your sweet darling who's cozied up against you and whispers secrets into your ear that make you feel like you are a god, which you are. So let's welcome fall friends and let's hope this one lasts a little bit longer than usual

before we get sucked into iceberg season and freeze our asses off in the land of snow, which is right around the corner. It's pumpkin time, sweeties. Halloween is on the way, the invisible membrane that separates us from the spirit world is rapidly degrading, which means that our magical incantations will be amplified with each passing day. We did it. It's fall.

And this is an incredible podcast for the fall because in this podcast, I'm going to introduce you to one of the coolest, sweetest beings that I've encountered in a very long time. This is a wonderful podcast because this is a podcast with Derek Waters, incredible mother Jody and not to get sappy on your pals when you don't have a mother, you really start appreciating mothers and the mother I'm about to present to you is an A grade high powered first class mother. We're going to jump right into this episode, but first some quick business.

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your order ships. I'm going to be honest, man, when they approached me, I was a little skeptical because I'm really picky when it comes to clothes, believe it or not, and I hate shopping and I trace it all the way back to when I was a kid and I would, I'd have to wear Husky clothes. I don't know if there are any Husky babes out there, but it was just, it was humiliating and I'd go with my poor mom and she would like, you know, try to pick clothes out without hurting my feelings. And by the end of it, I would just feel like just a, just fucking awful, just awful, crazy,

rotten, hated my body, hated clothes, hated the fact that I had to buy clothes to wear to fucking school to get brainwashed by some goddamn government. It was the worst and this is why I don't like going out to shop now. I don't like it. I get all fucking weirded out and sweaty and freaked out. Anytime I go to a store to do shopping, I don't like it. I don't like getting there. I don't like being there.

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content coming to there. I've got all these old live podcasts that I'm trying to dig up and I want to put them there. If I can find them, they're going to be there regardless. It's a great way for you to support this podcast and thank you guys who have subscribed. Finally, a big thanks to those of you who use our Amazon portal. There's a link located at dunkatrestle.com. If you feel like buying some cool plastic stuff over at Amazon, all you got to do is

go to dunkatrestle.com, zing through that link. And I'm just going to keep plugging this thing because every day that I sit in front of it, I get more amazed by it. Get yourself an Ableton push too. Or if you don't want to learn music and spend time making music and just inhale digital heroin, I finally got a Nintendo Switch. My God, the new Zelda is so awesome. It's like smoking opium.

It's like inhaling the exhaust from some kind of hyperdimensional spacecraft. It is such a great video game and so brutally addictive. Go through our Amazon link and check it out. Also we've got a shop with lots of t-shirts and posters over at dunkatrestle.com. Awesome. All right, friends, let's dive right into this episode. Today's guests are the host and creator of Drunk History, Derek Waters, and his amazing mother, Jodi Waters.

Please welcome to the DTFH, Jodi and Derek Waters. This is a really special night for the DTFH because not only am I with one of my favorite humans living today on planet Earth, Jodi Waters. I'm also with the creator of Drunk History, Derek Waters. You're the creator of Drunk History, Jodi. If you think about it, because you created the creator of Drunk History. That's it. Do you get any royalties?

I get nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all, other than just being. Oh, that's true. Yeah, but let's talk about like, let's just get down to a couple of, let's get a couple of bits of business out of the way, then we'll get into the podcast. Number one, Derek, why aren't you getting residuals from your mom from Drunk History? Why aren't I getting them?

Or why I should be getting them. Right. Yes. I mean, sure, I could. Do you need any money? Mom, be close. Bring it in closer. Yeah.

There you go. Like that's about, that's. Is that about? See where it is the distance from my mouth. Yeah. Just right around. Hold it like that. Hold it.

My hand starts to go to sleep. There you go. That's good. This is good. Pretty good. Yeah. That's great. All right.

So what about that, Derek? Let's cut your mom in here. There's some royalties. I mean, I guess I haven't done it because I didn't know you needed it. No. And Burns and I have talked about this. That's my dad, Burns. Yes.

And that we know that if we ever really needed money, Derek would certainly be willing to help us. Let's also make clear that it's a comedy central show. No. I'm not loaded. No. But, and this has always been our wish for Derek, that when he came out here that we thought, oh, just let him be able to provide for himself, be able to live by himself without

our help anymore. And hey, it's turned out to be better than we ever expected it. Can you talk a little bit about the first year or two that Derek came out here and what that was like to know that your son was pursuing one of the most ridiculous and improbable careers that anyone could choose? How did that feel? How did you deal with the inevitable first few years of comedians life in Los Angeles, which it doesn't look that good for anybody when they first come out here?

It's so funny because I know exactly how I felt when growing up, okay, none of us are academically oriented. The Water Summit. Myself. Right. We just were not school, the school people, even though I ended up to be a teacher. Now, go figure that one out. You're a teacher.

You're a short bus. We didn't have a bus. Right. I think, I think, I think we could say that maybe the Waters family is modest, but certainly not slow. I don't think that's an accurate appraisal of you guys at all. So of course we were, you go along and you see as your children mature and we have, Derek has an older brother, six years older.

So he always, Justin, Derek's older brother, was, he loved the business that my husband had. And so. That is called the Waters Company and Justin will, everything to do with tires except for tires. There you go. Wheel weights, tire belts. Anything to make, to put tires on, but don't, not to get too far away from your main point.

How do you get into the tire business? Family. In 1926, it started. So the Waters family, just who started you guys in the town? Mm-hmm. And it was, it was originally the Waters rubber company. So when it originally started, they sold, it was in Baltimore, they sold rubber bathing suits.

Ha! I never knew this. I know. It's very. Condoms? No, no condoms. No. But the other, and people who grew up in Baltimore remember they had a place on Charles Street,

which that's Baltimore. They had a seal in the window. And I remember Sears had one of these too. And it, with air, I'm thinking about it, I got it. Okay. So the seal's there. A seal like an animal. Like the animal.

Ooh. You know. So anyway. Oh my. Okay. So they have, it's like, they want people to think that the seal, you know, in the circus it's balancing balls. Yes.

When it snows. Okay. So here's the seal in the window of the store and the ball is going up and up and up. But they're secretly, of course, a little fan that's making the ball, you know, go, but it makes people think that. Okay. So that's, that's where the rubber. That was in the original Waters company?

Yeah. So the thing you could buy back then to help your store is you would buy like a, just put a seal in the window. Yeah. Well, as double your business. Do you know, as a matter of fact, I'm wondering, because I remember Sears, Sears Robots. The Sears seal. They had one in there too, because I never saw the Waters company seal.

But then. Okay. So that, okay. So then they got into retreading, which I kind of learned this. When you retread tires, there's a special rubber that you use and you know, now I'm thinking, was this like, did they sell it? What's that? This is sad.

Do you know this? Probably there? Cause you have a show about history. What's the history of the automobile? When did cars first show up on the scene? I could know that, but I don't. I mean. Google search.

Yeah. Like we used to do in the old days. So the point is, this is a relatively, probably it's, it's like kind of cutting edge to be making tires back then. This is still. Well, they, they, again, like Derek said, the Waters company is everything about tires but tires themselves. So they didn't, they would like sell the rubber, I guess, to re-

They're the distributor. Exactly. Okay. Now I'm remembering. Okay. Because there's still retread plants. And so the Waters company, Waters rubber company then would buy the rubber and then they would sell it to the retread plants and they were the ones that made the tires to

go on the trucks. And do you know, this is really interesting because you know how you're going down the highway and you see these big things of rubber on the roads. Okay. I know. I thought, what the heck is that? But on the trucks from going over, that's actually the, the tires have been retreaded and that's the, the newest of the treads that have.

Like they're snakeskin. Calling off. Right. Right. Husband's father or grandfather, grandfather. Yeah. And then your husband's, what's his name? Burns.

Burns father is also. He was right. It was his granddad. His name was also Burns. Then he named his, my dad's name was Burns, Hargit Waters, the third. Wow. How did he not want to continue that? Burns waters.

Do you get a cooler name than that? Oh yeah. Burns Hargit Waters, the third and you know why? Okay. So his grandfather was Burns Hargit Waters. He named his son Burns Hargit Waters, junior, I think it goes, or the second, then because he hated the name Burns's dad, he never, he went by Bob. So what does he do after when his first son is born?

He names him Burns Hargit Waters, the third. Wow. So Burns is Burns. And so, okay, so that's, first of all, it's amazing Burns waters is the coolest name ever. Now, so your oldest son is in the family business. Yes. He's interested in this. Fourth generation.

Yes. And he's doing that now. He is. Yes. That's amazing to think. Yeah. Four generations of a business. That's incredible.

And that is true. Historically, most family businesses don't make it even past the second. That's, you know, because, I mean, families are families and most of them have all kinds of... The most family businesses struggle and they sell them off to corporations. That's true. Or you know what the other thing is that happens a lot of times is that the father is really interested.

The kids come along and, well, see if we only had Derek, Burns would have, you know, sold the business out because who... But I've always said, if anything happened to dad and Justin, I would figure out how to keep it. Yeah. So Justin is demonstrating some, this proclivity for working in the family business and that's a relief. Yes.

You've got a son who's suddenly obviously interested in the family business and that's really cool. That was right. So we had that in our minds. When comes Derek? Oh boy. Look out. It's just so neat to think about him from the, he always loves this story.

But I'm telling you, I remember this. He was an infant and in the old days, they had actual little scales where you put the baby on the scale and, you know, for their checkups. And I still remember Derek. The old days. They don't. They don't. I don't.

They might. They just feel them. Well, they probably have. They were born in 1979. I know. But maybe they haven't. I think they have a more high tech way of playing. They have digital.

Something or others. I don't know. Oh, you mean they put them on a like meat scale. Yeah. Oh yeah. Right. Exactly. So yeah, they wasn't a digital.

They put them on the same thing. Yeah. And then, you know, the little... Like a jarrow goes off. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, he's sitting there. He's, you know, and...

Is Dr. Yim? It's Dr. Yim. Right. And Dr. Yim. Do you remember your... Oh, yeah. I heard the story. It's in my damn time.

But yeah. Keep going. Okay. So anyway, he comes into the room and sees, you know, cute little Derek just sitting there and he says, do you know there is something special about this little boy? And I never, ever forgot that. And in fact, years and years later, I saw Dr. Yim and I said, do you remember, you know, you said something, you know, I mean, he said thousands and thousands of people.

He says, no. No, no. I know. I don't say that to everybody. Because I thought... Right. But we knew that Derek... You meant special needs.

No. No. He saw the spark. Exactly. And it just emanated, emanated, is that a word, from Derek. Yeah. Okay. This is a really good example.

And he loved, loved people. He just loved people. I put him... Oh, excuse me. He attended a nursery school and it was like from nine to 12. Well, it was also, they had the nursery school, but they also had a daycare for the parents who worked. And because some of the kids in Derek's classes stayed for daycare, he said, Mom, I want to

stay for daycare because he wanted to be with the kids longer. He was like, no, I don't want to come home with you. I want to stay here with my friends. And I'd say, Derek, that's for the mommies who work and don't you want to come home? No. No, he really, he just anything and... Did I love people? I just didn't want to be home.

No, you really... Get me out of here. No, no, no. And did you wonder that? Were you worried? No. Okay. No.

And I guess that's the other really neat part about Derek because he did. He had something special and, oh, okay, I'm just trying to think. But when you're a mom, where did you wrestle in your mind? Because here's the truth, sometimes parents give birth, every child is special, right? But sometimes parents give birth to an actual super special kid. But isn't this the weird mental wrestling match you have to do with yourself as a parent because you have to think, is the kid special just because it's my child and my DNA wants me to think the kid's special because if we don't think our kids are special, when

they start crying, we'll throw them off a cliff thousands of years ago because they're so annoying. Or weren't you sort of wondering and thinking like, does the doctor say, I think if I had a child, I would want to believe I have spawned the Christ. But I mean, I'd want to believe it too. This is the most... I would also... Part of me would be like, no, it's just my brain playing tricks on me.

Certainly not any more special than any other child. Do you want... That just triggered a memory and this is... And I guess both of my sons to me... But this one... This was about Justin, how was it you? Shoot. I'm dirt.

I know, but I'm trying to think. I was at a friend's, I was out of six years. So I was at a friend's house. That's an interesting... I'm sorry to cut you off. That is an interesting span of time. There you go. Okay, I can...

Do you want me to explain that? Well, let Duncan explain to his listeners where he's going. Okay. Okay. I'm just saying it's an interesting span of time between... I mean, a lot of times when people have kids, it usually is like, oh, you know, like my brother, for example, it's like, you know, three years. Duncan has a theory that maybe my dad isn't my dad.

Because there was such a long... A long time. Why was there a long time? Okay. There's a very, very good reason as to that. Are you going to remember the story? I will. I'll go back and you can help me.

But when Justin was born, I had never held a baby. I was 24 and I'd never held a baby. I didn't know really what to do and I thought I was a horrible mother. And so... Why did you think that? It was not... Well, I just... I didn't know what to do if he cried and I...

Did you have anyone to help you? Could you talk to your mom about it? No. That was really not an option. So you were kind of, because of this relationship with your mom, you didn't have the normal support system that people have, which is a mom who knows how to tell you... Generally, this information is passed down from mother to mother to mother. That's right.

So you're having to sort of figure it out as though you're the first mom. You have books or something and you have Dr. Yen. Yen? Yeah. And when you say that, that's very true because I really didn't know how to mother because I didn't have a role model to base my mothering skills on. I really was starting at ground level. So back in those days, of course, no Google or anything, we had a book, Dr. Spock.

Right. It was called that? Yes. Dr. Spock. Yes. And so whenever Justin would do anything, you just look it up in Dr. Spock's book and he would say, anyway, this all goes to the point. Feed him.

Yeah. He cries, feed him. Feed him. It's like a two-page book. Go to the grocery store. This all goes to just tell you I was totally not prepared to be a mom at all. And this went on, obviously, because most of my friends, as you had said, two and three years is the traditional span between children.

Well, and my friends were all doing that. I also, then a lot of them were like, oh my God, I'm tearing myself apart. Oh, these kids are driving me crazy. And I thought, well, I'm not doing that. And then, okay, this is, oh my gosh, I'd forgotten all this. So I said, okay, well, I think we're going to have an only child because I just can't see myself going through all this with such a mess the first time. So we're going to have an only child.

And I bought books and all the advantages, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yep. This was it. Okay. Then my father had a little business anyway. He was moving, make a long story short, he fell off the back of a truck and knocked himself unconscious and had to be taken to the hospital. We as a family, it was my mom, my dad, my brother and myself were helping him.

So when he went to the hospital and we didn't know what was going on, it was just my brother and myself in the waiting room. And at that moment, I said, oh my gosh, no, that's not fair to Justin. You have to have somebody with you if you go through these traumatic. I said that, oh my gosh, the next month, bang, I got pregnant. Now let's really think about this moment and that's amazing. Your entire existence, my grandfather falling off the truck, that moment of imbalance. And do you know what?

And because my father, my father was wonderful, everybody loved him, but he was a narcissist. There's no doubt about that. And when Derek started to achieve some success, he would tell people, you know, Derek's here because of me. Oh, yes, that's him. Because everything revolved. Derek, we need it. Now that I know this story, I think we can do a drunk history about your childhood.

Now, wait, I agree, but there's one story that has, where it really all started from my brother and I, please tell Duncan and his listeners, what made you fall in love with dad? When he, my dad kept trying to woo my mom, I'm going to set it up and then you finish it. How old is Burns? He was 18, I was 17. And so he was always flirting with you, always asking you out, but you just wanted to be

friends. Is his seniors at high school? He had graduated. I was a senior. Okay. When he, he really liked you and you just wanted to be friends. You just thought that's all you wanted from him. That is correct.

How long were you friendzoning him? Yeah, friendzoning. Only, gosh, we, like a, maybe six, seven months, not, it wasn't even a year. And then what did you see dad do that made you decide you wanted to date him? Okay. So what it was, he went to community college. Like I said, the waters are real smart because, and he, it is the truth, I went to community college.

But, you know, but Burns went to, to Essex, he went to Catonsville. He went to, you know, Rich City, Maryland. And he formed out of all, I know what you're saying. Oh my God. So he landed in community college after flunking out of all these other schools. Yeah. So he was in a downwards educational spiral. Of course.

Only friendzoned. Yeah. You're doing that. Yeah. So. When are you going to get out of this guy? But, and so we have to go to, um, Derek, so I love telling the story of Derek's, um, college experience.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. We have to get to, get to what you saw dad do. When you found out with Burns, what, we were, and I, I loved Burns. I mean, as far as a friend, he made me laugh. So we were always listeners, a little visual. Would you say dad's kind of like a cute Barney rubble mixed with like yogi? Yes. He actually, in fact, my dad called him the Pillsbury dough boy.

And that's why my dad is in his ashes or in Derek's kitchen in a Pillsbury boy. Yeah. Cookie jar. That's not why. That was a point. Yeah. Okay. It was.

It was. All right. So what do you see? So anyway, so he was just caught. He was, we were talking about our days, blah, blah, blah. And just out of the building, he, he didn't even think anything of it. He told me, oh, and I still remember a name, Barbara Miniter. I was in the, um, what do they call it, Student Center or something.

And she bought me a doughnut. That was like, oh my God, how in the, what somebody else wants burns? No, they're not, they're not going to get him with just trying to bribe him with a doughnut. And so that was it. I know. Beautiful. Is that weird? And that's why my grandma's ashes are in the doughnut jar.

Are you serious? No, no, no, no. But I'm really here because of a doughnut. Well, you're here because of the doughnut and you're here because of, in, in balaclumsy moment on the back of the truck. Yes. There were so many moments here, not, you just, your fate. Yeah.

But my fate, drunk history, there were so many moments it was just spinning like a coin. Exactly. It could have gone in any way. I know. That's miraculous. But the other thing that I like is that both of these moments are kind of like not great moments. If you're, if someone's buying burns, doughnuts, that's not cool.

You like, that's not a good, that's not cool. He's like already being made fun of, I guess, a little bit. For being chubby. Yeah. And someone's like enabling this. So. Oh my word. Duncan.

That dark moment. Yes. It just turned into something beautiful. Wow. And that's happened at least twice. We don't know how many times this, this alchemical moment has been happening in the water's history. Yes. But that's pretty cool.

Well, oh, I thought when you said we don't know how many times this, I thought you meant, oh my God, how many people have been buying burns, burn, doughnuts. And Jody, Jody just didn't know about, you know, there's more than one doughnut. So you, so at that moment you realized, you know what, I really do like him more than a friend. I know, because some, it was somebody else was trying to, well, he didn't just tell you that story because you thought it was an interesting moment. He, right.

We were talking about our days and what went on and, but he just happened to bring, first of all, it's like not that, that's not a story. You just, I would never tell you that, Derek. I would never be like, oh, Derek, someone bought me a doughnut today, but I would tell it to you if I was trying to make you jealous. Oh, you know, Burns has always said he didn't have any intentions, but you're right. Burns is a story. She actually bought him the doughnuts.

I would wonder if, if we went, you know, I would actually like to interview her. She's the one. I don't know. Oh. And I did this moment. So you, cause let's just think about it. Like how does that work out? Like they were in the cafeteria and she was just like, Hey, can I get you a doughnut?

You look like you can use one. It doesn't seem real, does it? But it also is like a terrible way to try to impress a girl. Like, Hey, just see now some other girls are buying me doughnut. That would be dad. Yeah. Right. And so it's a beautiful thing.

So now I get it. This was a moment of, when you realized that it was time to have another child, it was because the universe revealed itself to you as the universe actually is, which is people fall off trucks and almost die and happens. And I, and my brother was there, which he usually, he wouldn't have been there. I don't know again, but yep. And so I went home and got pregnant. I always say that I, I don't, my mom tells me I wasn't a mistake, but right after you

have me, you got your tubes dying. No, I did that because at the, no. Okay. Well, we might as well get into this. Okay. The, I had, after you were born, oh, this is really sad. Okay. I forgot about this.

And I don't know if doctors still do this or not. After you've delivered your babies six weeks, you go in for a six week check up to make sure everything went back in place and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, at that time they discovered I had a no varian cyst. And in those days they had no idea it could have been cancer. And so anyway, the only way was to have surgery. So, oh my gosh. Okay.

As if I wasn't already a nervous wreck about being. This is your second child. Yes. Here we go again. And then what, a six weeks in, now you might have cancer. Yes. And I'm going to die. I remember going out in the yard, we were planning, Pakistan, and I said, Burns, just

remember when Derek grows up, you telling, you know, how much I loved him and, oh my God. And what were you planting? Like a Sandra, a ground cover. I just, I remember, what time of day was it? It was like in the mid morning, afternoon. I mean, I do. I, I remember being on my hands and knees and literally I'm going to die.

And so you have to make sure you tell my little Derek that. Was this the first time you told Burns that there was the possibility that you had cancer? No. No. I told him right from the doctor. I told him. Yeah. But this, but for you, this is the day after a possible terminal prognosis and it's just

starting to dawn on you what's right. This means. Yeah. Exactly. You're doing this relatively mundane activity. You're just planning some grass, right? Right. And then suddenly, suddenly you're like, Oh my God, I'm not going to be around to watch

my baby grow up. So, but then of course, fast forward. I was fine. Wait, let's not say fast forward. Okay. Slow forward. Yes. Because every day that you have to live in that question mark is not a short day.

Those are weird. How long was it before they're like, Oh, you're fine. It, well, they, and of course, they can't tell you until after the surgery and the biopsy comes back. So it was some, it was about, you know, like five days after the surgery. Oh my God. So, but so I had that now, wait a minute, that doesn't make sense. Because I, I had to, and it was like, okay, well you're doing that surgery.

So go ahead and tie my tubes because I thought to myself, I have two boys, no matter if something happened to Burns and I, you know, went off with Prince Charming or something. I still don't want any more children. So tie my tubes. But wait, you were thinking, so I'm thinking now that makes no sense. If Burns and I, if it does, so you're thinking you had a lot of, you're, you're juggling a lot of balls here. And that's thinking like, if that's why I'm mentally ill, right?

Yeah. This is what I do. Well, this is, so you're, you, you are, that's what, I mean, that's what we do is we ruminate on things. So you're thinking a lot of things at once. You're thinking, one, I don't know if I'm going to live, two, should I live, and things not work out with Burns, if I discover another wonderful man, I don't want to have any more babies.

Right. But it wouldn't matter even because I do not, I do not want another child. Still. Right. Yeah. So that is what happened. And I guess that's the end of the story. And you know, what I think is interesting is that you're not afraid to say, I'm mentally

ill. Oh, right. What do you, what do you mean by that? I just, I feel very strongly that I've suffered with this for so many years, so of mental illness, anxiety, depression, not wanting to admit it for years. And really not even knowing what was wrong with me when I would have these bouts where I would lose, I mean, I literally, I could not even put a cracker in my mouth and I would lose at least, you know, 20 or 25 pounds because I just couldn't eat.

And I can remember praying, Oh God, if I ever feel better again, I'd rather be fat and happy. So then without any medication, because I still wasn't convinced that I was depressed or anything like that, I would eventually get back and be fine. And then I'd start eating again. So I never, when did it start? Yeah, which, when, was this before Justin, was this before Justin that it started showing up? Or was it?

Yeah, you know, and that's, that's interesting because it all started with me, you know, no, no, no, no. Oh my gosh. Wow. You could be a therapist because I'm thinking back the first time it happened to me was in high school. I had not even met Burns. It was, I was dating the last guy before I met Burns and he broke up with me and somehow

my mother was involved. She sent him a letter. I never, never got the answers to what really went on. She sent him a letter. Yeah. And, you know, and I sometimes think, because he's, in fact, he, we just had our 50th high school reunion and he was there, I didn't go. And Burns even said, Hey, why don't you call Dave and, you know, ask him.

Yeah. What's your biggest question? What the letter? What the letter said? What did my mother, you know, say to you that made you. Your mother made him, you think your mother in some way engineered. She engineered something. Yeah.

Was there something just thinking like, was he poor? Was there something? No, no, no. He was, the only thing I can think of is that he, even back then, I mean, in those days I couldn't remember. He went out with somebody else and, you know, cheated on me and whether, but, and then this all goes back to my mother too. She was suffering from depression.

And of course, as an adult now, I realize why she treated me the way she did. And she even missed. Oh yeah. When I did that with Dave, I was crazy at the time, you know, I, I don't, and, you know, just kind of, And you, you didn't know that your mother was struggling with this? No, no. I just figured, you know, she would, she would be in her room crying and I would always try

and make her feel better. I just thought it was your fault. Of course. Absolutely. Yeah. And also because I was two years old when my brother was born and he was extremely ill. He had asthma back then. Nobody had asthma.

It was, and he, you know, almost died a few times and he had eczema. And so I, I remember it was always, I can't deal with you, Jodi, you, you have to be a good girl because I've got so much to deal with your brother and I can't, you just have to. Right. I can't, I can't do it. Abandonment. Uh-huh.

Exactly. And I, I wonder why I have, anyway, so to get back to your question about, so if people kind of know what experiences others go through and that there is help, I don't, I don't know what you can really, um, you know, help people other than the fact that you're open about it. The mom, what you just did. Yeah. And anytime anybody who is, I don't like the term mental.

I know. If something about it is, we need a new word for it. We do. But anytime someone freely and in the strong way that you announced it does that, everyone listening who's secretly going through it has permission to say it out loud. I like that. And saying it out loud, that's where the healing really gets going right there. Yes.

It, right. Because I, it took me how many, I guess you would call them many nervous breakdowns. Yes. To finally get to the point where, Hey, I really do need some help. Yeah. I've got to, you know, I think there's some place that there's medication and I think I better. But.

Burns dealing with this. Well, it burns. It's so sweet. He just kind of needs the best. Yeah. And it, and it is hard. And the boys as the years went on, I still hadn't admitted it. Okay.

Justin and Derek, they all feel so bad. And I, I know that's another really, really difficult thing for family members who are living with somebody that is suffering with anxiety and depression because they, they want to do something. There's nothing they can say. There's nothing they can do. It's frustrating for them. It's just really, really difficult because they, they see that you're suffering and you

just want to help that person. But there's nothing. Yeah. One year you want to come out of your room. No. For a year? No. On and off.

This was Christmas that this happened? One time. And how old were you, Derek, when that was going down? Not long ago. Oh, oh, you mean, oh, you mean as far as being away and everything? When was this? How old you were? I don't know.

How were you? Six or seven years ago? No. Oh, you mean since you've left the house? Yeah. Oh no. I'm talking about when it first started. When I, I wasn't on medication.

See, I never knew. I didn't know that. Yeah. What did you think was, how aware were you that your mom was not feeling great? I don't know. I don't think I knew anything until later. You know what happened? I really think I pushed myself again because I certainly wasn't going to admit that there

was something wrong with me. Oh, my word. No. I had to be this perfect person. Where'd you learn that? So yeah, right from mother dearest. So I would push myself so my children would not realize. Now I was more honest with Burns.

He knew that. And I guess it didn't matter as much to me about my husband as my children. That's, I wanted to protect exactly. Like raising kids in the midst of depression, it's got to be something like, you know, when people climb Everest in high altitude and everything you do is takes five times the energy five times. What an incredible thing to pull off raising these two sweeties in the midst of having a debilitating form of mental illness.

That's incredible. You never showed it. You're the best mom and you never ever, I never saw that growing up. Right. And now looking back, I think, well, did I do a disservice to you in, you know, pretending everything was fine so that if, you know, you were just never felt bad, you wouldn't put it, you know, you wouldn't say, Oh, well, it doesn't matter because you were the best mom and you did what you thought was right.

You know, and that to this day when my kids will say that and I, and this is what in my brain, I totally, totally hang on to. And right now is what is this day, September, whatever. The only reason the boys turned out is because of Burns. I had nothing positive to do. And he will tell, Oh, but you did this. I said, No, you were the one that, you know, took the time and I didn't know how to play like you.

But think about, let's think about this for a moment, not to do therapy here. No, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Let's think about this for a moment. What you just said. Because the thing you just said is quantifiably wrong. And just based on the stories you've just told in through this podcast, it's obvious

that it wasn't just Burns, but there's some part of yourself that won't let you have any kind of a sense of accomplishment in your life. I know. And I guess because I was told so many times that I was a jackass. I was stupid. I was dumb. And so I, but, but my father, oh my God, he adored me and I knew that. So I can't, why, why do I have to keep going back to that?

But anyway, because we, what happens is when you're getting abused, there is what I've read is there's two things that happen to someone who's getting abused. You either internalize the abuser. And so there's a word for it called cops in the head and people who live in like really rough neighborhoods where the cops are really oppressive. It's a, it's a creepy thing that happens in authoritarian regimes where they no longer have to have cops anymore because the people start self policing because these, the cops

are not living inside their brain. They're constantly like feeling paranoid and scared because they've internalized the aggressor or the abuser. So we, what happens when you have an abusive parent, parent relationship is you either internalize the abuser and suddenly now you have this thing living in your head, which is exactly what you just did where you're like, it wasn't me. It was burns. That's not you.

That's an internalized voice that you are living with or which didn't happen to you. Lucky for you, Derek, you become the abuser. So it's one or the other. You keep it inside of you. You internalize it. Now you have this thing living inside of you or you become it and both outcomes are pretty, pretty brutal. And that is exactly right because I was from the day Justin could understand anything.

I was constantly, oh, that's a great job. Oh, you did great. Oh, that's wonderful. I'm so proud of you, blah, blah, blah. Things that I had never experienced, but I said, okay, enough is enough. And I know how I don't want to raise my children and I want them to feel good about themselves. I want them to realize that they are valuable, that their opinions count. Things that I would have loved to have heard from my mother.

But so I really consciously worked on that. That's for sure. So it wasn't just burns. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was working hard. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

Teaching every day. Yeah. Yeah. What were you teaching? I taught nursery school, a third grade. I have an early childhood degree, so. Then family Baptist. Right.

That was the director. And, you know, they, they say when things happen to you, that you can kind of. I love my childhood. And Bob goes, just because you loved your childhood doesn't mean you had a good childhood. Oh. That was a great one. Wow. Oh, that was a great one.

Yeah. Right. Right. All right. Let's take a quick break. Yeah. Don't wrap it up. Okay.

We're rolling. Let's do a quick shout out. This is a shout out for Andrew Ferguson. He's a big fan of yours. We're a big fan of him. So we just want to say hi, Andrew. Okay. So let's do it right there.

Let's add a little sound bed to this and then we'll do the shout out. Andrew Ferguson. What's up, man? Here's a shout out to you coming from the DTFH. We love you. God bless you. And you're super lucky to be pals with the waters. I hope I meet you one day.

Ferguson tires. So guys, we're back with the beautiful waters family. This is, we got to have a little Hollywood moment. Last, you know what you got to do yesterday, man? You got to do a dream, which is to take your mom to the Emmys. What was that like? I don't know. It was, it just felt like it was the best, you know, it's like already surreal that you're

invited to someplace that has always been something that you're just like, oh, that's such a far away dream. Yeah. I never even dreamed about going to the Emmys, but people knock it these days now or whatever, but I'm telling you, man, that's a big deal. I mean, like as a comedian, it's a, just, it's a, whether you like it or not, and as much as you want to hate on it, get it, you getting invited to the Emmys is like pretty badass.

Beyond badass. It is. And I know that. And I was very excited, but taking my mom just felt so good because it's my mom and I wouldn't have gotten there if it wasn't for my mom. So did you drive? Um, no, we were driven. Oh, they pulled up in a black car.

Yeah. And you guys are dressed up for the Emmys. We're dressed up for the Emmys. How that feels for you to be with your, this boy that you raised and like going into a black car, getting taken to the Emmys. Is it, was it a cool moment? It's, I don't. She's jaded.

This, okay. Derek has, um, been blessed. He was actually nominated three years in a row and I got to go with him. You've been twice. The first, right. Oh, you've been, this is your third trip to the Emmys. No, only, no, there was a girl that was in between on the second year. So I went the first.

At this point, you're like, whatever. I don't want to, I don't want to dress. Yeah. I did tell my mom last night. I was like, you know, I feel like every time you cry or get upset that you don't have an, a grandchild from me, like if you, if I was making a grandchild, you wouldn't be at the Emmys. Cause I'd be dating somebody.

So that's probably not a great bitch. I'd much rather have a grandchild than go to Emmys. You know what? And I used to, of course, you know, want a grandchild. Well, guess what? God bless me with three. And it's like, you know, I'm good. And all I ever, ever wanted from the time, um, the boys were young.

And I remember Justin, of course, he was the first born going to the first parent conference when he was, um, in first grade and the teacher would say, maybe, uh, I don't know, he should learn his numbers better or something. My only question was, does he have friends? Do I mean, that was all I wanted. And the same way with Derek. And as I say, we weren't academically oriented. And so when I would go later on, when they were in middle school, high school, and I

go to parent teacher conferences because they did not have good grades. And I felt like a total failure going in. But then the teachers would say, okay, yeah, they, he can work on this or that. But let me tell you, oh my gosh, the most polite boys, because it happened with both of them. They're just, you know, he's just so easy to get along with and just always kind. And that was all I wanted to hear the hell with the grades. I really didn't care anymore because I knew that, that this is the type of thing.

And I, I can remember also that these are the kind of skills that really count in life to get along with people. You can always go to a book and, you know, learn, but nobody can teach you. Calculator is not going to make you pals. Exactly. Yeah. Let's see what's genetic Duncan, what, what naturally is happening is you've been asking the same question.

And neither one of us can accept what we did yesterday because we know it's not important. We know it's cool, but this is how it's raised. That's, that's not what's important. What's important is like the people that you're around and what you're doing. It's like the Emmys is awesome and an honor. Listen, like the Emmys is taking my mom to it is this is the best is I'm with someone that accepts it for what it is. Emmys operates on a bunch of different levels at once on one level.

It's like this ridiculous self serving narcissistic satanic ritual. But on another level, it's like what my therapist would call a metal. So it's like getting a little metal and it's a cool thing. And listen, I like, you can, I'll tell you this. If like somebody wanted me to go to the Emmys with him, I probably wouldn't want to go because like, I don't want to put on a suit and I don't want to like, I get really squirmy and stuff and I don't want to sit through it and it feels like going to like church or a funeral or something.

But still, that's just me. But if I had a chance to go back in time and take my mom to the Emmys. Come on, man. I know right now both of you are too cool for school. Listen, no, no, I know. It's something so primordially badass. And I get it. By the way, it is cool to be like whatever it's this Duncan stop.

Did you watch the Emmys? No, I'm not. No, I'm not disregarding it because I do think it's awesome that we went. And but I think it's neat that both my mother and I just won't talk about that. We're just talking about you keep going to like, Oh, when he was a kid, like, I just wanted to have friends and that it's, you never, you never, well, you said it the other day you go, I thought you would make it, but I didn't think you would go this far. What did you say?

Right. And that goes back to the very, very beginning of what you asked when Derek first came out here when he was 20 years old and people are, Oh, how do you do that? And it was like, because I know this is he's it's making him happy. He has a passion to do that. And then just to go back in case Justin ever listens to this, it was the same thing with Justin. He had a passion from the time he was a little boy to drive an 18 wheeler.

And so when he discovered a certain trucking company that took younger drivers, he signed up for it and people, Oh my God, how do you, aren't you scared, blah, blah, blah, no, because again, he was following his dream. That was his passion. And I even had some go rounds with Burns because Justin started in the business, but I said, no, no, no, he has to, has to do this because it's so much a part of him. And it has been that. And so off, you know, men in their middle, you know, midlife crisis, well, I always wanted

to drive a truck and I never got, he's done it. He was able to do that. And then. So cool. And remember mom, when you talked about, I don't know, I feel like a good mother. There's a lot of great mothers out there, but they're very few that allow both their children to go out for what they believed in, whether it was financially smart or not, that you encouraged both your children.

That's right. You cannot look at that and be like, yeah, I don't know if I made the right decision. And that is exactly not, I think I shared this with you and I've said it before. I, well, I guess I am still envious in the fact that they both had a passion because I never, I guess, because I was never really allowed or even thought I never had a passion. I mean, yeah. Okay. My mother said, you'd be a teacher.

I'm a teacher. I was passionate about getting married to a wonderful man and I was passionate about having wonderful children and guess what? It worked. It did. It did. So yeah. So how do you, do you think that's the most important thing is, it's like, how do you do

that? How do you, what about people out there who feel passionless? What about folks who, because you know, I know it's frustrating for some people because they hear you talk about your passion as a mother and raising kids and a wife and they are your passion, Derek, you know, you followed your dream, your brother's passion, gotten to this crazy industry. What would you say to folks out there like, I don't know what I'm, I'm good at, I feel kind of ambivalent.

I'm not sure what I'm, if I have any passion. I feel, I feel sorry. Like I said, I felt sorry for myself because I tried to make up in my mind, oh, what could I be passionate about? And I thought, oh, okay, that's it. You know, I want to get married and have, oh, oh, you went to like work in the FBI. You're like, that's cool. I'm really good at solving cases.

I think I want to work. Do you, Derek, I totally, do you know what, and I did, I wanted to be a private investigator I did. You're right. And okay. So this is, oh my gosh. How old were you, Derek? I was in high school.

Yeah. This, oh my word, talking about that, I was sitting on the steps in my parents' house. So I had to have been like maybe 13 or 14 and I said, you know what I'd really like to do is be a zookeeper. My parents went off, yes, you don't even, you wouldn't let that donkey, you know, you were scared of that. How in the hell, what are you talking about? Oh, you just have to clean the cages.

So I was like, okay, well, I guess, I guess I'm not going to be a zookeeper. You weren't encouraged. I was totally. You imagine, but what do you think about that as a mother? Uh-huh. Can you, I just, I can't imagine. I know, you're a child. Yes.

It says. A 13 year old. Yeah. It wants to be around animals. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, well let's figure it out. Exactly.

Let's take you to the zoo. Let's talk to them. Let's get you, let's put you, let's see if we can get you volunteering out here, get you working with the zoo. Yeah. But to just immediately be like, no. Right. You know, specific, you know, elements as to why you cannot be interested at all.

It's just like, and it just goes back to being, um, just not accepted for who you are, anything that comes from your brain. And that was the thing with the kids. I always wanted to be like, oh, you know what, that is, I really like that, Derek, let's, let's try it. Yeah. Let's do that. That was never, but I would have loved to have felt, except like, oh, that's a really

good idea. Good God. I, oh my word. I can't even go on about the times that I was like, just totally, um, well, this isn't going to be on there, but I'll talk about this anyway. Just to give you an example, my mother was giving a shower for a friend of her, a daughter, and she asked me to, um, cut up the celery for a dip or something. So I did, oh my God.

She went off in front of all the guests, all the people now, that is, why are you cutting the celery that way? That is the dumbest thing. Look at that. You've ruined it. Oh my. So anyway. How old were you when that happened?

Where was I? How old? Oh, how old? Um, I, I think I knew Berns then I was, I was older. Yeah. Well, no age is okay. That is just ridiculous to think about that. And so many people, this is the thing.

I was just, you know, I've been thinking about this a lot, which is like a lot of us got born, people get born into families where there's trauma, right? That stuff doesn't, what it is, is it's kind of like a. So it's like, um, it's a terrible game of hot potato, right? And it starts way back in time and we don't know when it started, but at some point, somebody becomes an asshole because they're scared and then they have kids and then they pass on the kids and the kids pass on and it goes down the line and this is the moment you figure out how to stop it.

It's like what you did. It produces some pretty beautiful, incredible events in the world. One of them being Derek waters, so interesting, isn't it? It is an amazing thing to see. And this is why I think if people don't have like, if some, some people are like, I don't know what my passion is. Well, no, you're the passion is like looking to yourself, figure out where this rotten demonic hot potato is situated in your heart and figure out if there's a way to transform

it, change it, shift it, work on yourself. Cause the moment you start doing that, you really transform the universe. I mean, honestly, I don't mean to keep like, like patting you on the back there, but just as a friend in my life, like it's just incredibly powerful to have someone like you in my life. It's just an amazing thing. And it's like, he's like that. I would like to think I'm his only friend, but I have a feeling he's got a lot of people who depend on him and love him and just think about that.

What you did, that's really wild to me. It's a beautiful thing that that is so neat because that's exactly what I was trying to tell Derek last night is that, well, from the time he was young with his kids, um, with his friends, but I just think how many people would come home and be so depressed and then happened to turn on the TV and just laugh like that. Even when he, he started out when he was in this, this cute little sitcom and I would tell it. Cute.

Cute. Cute. I mean, it's unfunny. What's it? It's a sitcom I did when I first went out here. Mary to the Kellys. Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

Even when I was in the cute sitcom, I said, you, I said, just, I'll give you an example of a friend of mine's mother who was, um, almost, almost legally blind. Anyway, because she didn't even know Derek, but she just knew me and Derek was my son. And so she, her daughter, Susan would tell me how she got her face up as close as close to the TV as she could to, to try and see. And that was, it was the highlight. And here's the other thing. It was like that.

The highlight. She kills the story of her time because it has to be a joke and you're like, she didn't even know who I was. So how did she know which one I was? Susan told her, your character's name was Lewis and so, but, but that's what I, I said to Derek, I said, oh my God, just think of the amount of lives that you have made better through comedy. Think of how many blind people are smashing their face into their television just to be

close to you. And you know what? That is exactly his response to me last night when I said that. I tried to tell her like, well, I can't think about that because if I think about that, then I'm going after the, you know, the reward instead of the product. God forbid. I mean, I understand the idea is like, we have a right to our action. We don't, we don't have a right to the fruits of our action, but it's some, I mean, I do

think at some point, at just some point, you're allowed just at the end of the day. I don't mean, I don't really like what people say at the end of the day. I literally mean at the end of the day, like when you're sitting at home at some point, you got to be like, yeah, I did it. I did it. Yeah. I'm okay. I'm not all, you know, because the thing is like, what's really weird, this is something

Sharon Salzberg talks about. You love her. It's just how a lot of times at the end of the day, as you're going over your day, you're usually just thinking about the bad things you did. Always. But it's like, if you spend a little bit of time thinking about it, you did some pretty good stuff during the day too. So why is it okay to ruminate on the rotten things that you did in the day instead of

spending the time thinking about what just kind of usually more good things you did, you're allowed to do that. Why can't you do that? No, you can. Yeah. You could do that. And sometimes, and I know what you mean, man, with this, I mean, we should all just pat ourselves in the back and getting a pat, but I don't mean that I know we're not supposed

to do this, but with this podcast, I don't, I try not to let myself think too much about it at all. But sometimes you're allowed to be like, it's cool. I'm pretty happy about the fact that somebody out there feels a little better because what I'm doing, I think we got to let ourselves do that. Yeah. And we have to let ourselves do that all the time and just experiment with that. Oh, absolutely.

It's a place for me. Literally, people are like, oh, yeah, really, oh, look at you, aren't you special? Aren't you a special little prince? Oh, look at you, touching the world with laughter, fuck you, bow down to the darkness, kiss the feet of the devil. You know what I mean? It's like, why not? Why not be like, hey, I love it.

I'm helping people. I want to help people. I'm going to try to help you. It's okay. I'm feeling good about that. We got to let ourselves do that, man. I like that. Okay.

I'll have to remember. This is good. But no, and if you let your guard down, obviously, Derek, I must have a problem with this. I will, every once in a while, think, oh, yeah, and I kept all these notes for the longest time that the parents wrote to me over the years when I was the director of the preschool or even as a teacher, you know, how wonderful you are and you helped my child, you helped me, blah, blah, blah. And I thought, oh, well, I guess I should keep these in case one day when I feel rotten

about myself. Anyway, but then I guess I was really feeling rotten about myself one day because I threw them all out. So there you go. Yep. You don't need them. Yeah. Well, I hope or it was like, I don't believe this is a bunch of shit, you know, let's throw

these away. How many of these people who wrote them must have been out of their gore when they wrote them. These people were lunatics. They have no idea who I am for real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. There you go. Right. There it is. Right. There it is. That's the game you're playing. Yeah.

And it's and the thing is, it's just like you can play it as long as you want. And but it's like, I just think it's fun to be, there's a saying, this teacher, I really like Jack Hornfield says, he actually quotes this. I think it's a Sufi poet, Hafiz, who says, fear is the cheapest room in the house. I hope you find better quarters. And it's, it really is like the fun thing to do is you can really just as a thought experiment just for fun. This is what I do.

And sometimes I actually try to record myself doing and I upload it as insanity, but it's fun to like, spend like three minutes. Imagine this just for an experiment, spend three minutes thinking, I'm pretty awesome. Oh, I know. Can you do it? Okay. You can't do three minutes. Can you do a second?

Can you, cause you, can you even like, cause it takes a second for the part of your mind that like tears up letters of love to get kicked in. Sometimes you can catch it off guard. So can you slide in like three seconds of like, Hey, you're pretty great. And then like the wolves come to the door. But you know what I mean? See, see if you can play around with like just for a fun couple of seconds of like being like, Hey, I'm pretty bad at that's, that's, that's good.

Two seconds. Okay. You want me? Okay. I. Okay. I, okay. Sorry for cursing.

Yeah. Right. Like I don't, um, no, I can't see. I'm thinking, I'm thinking it in my head, but it won't come, I won't allow it to come out. Just say, you know, I think I'm pretty good. How many kids are you responsible for, for having a great childhood besides two boys, the kids in your preschool, years and years of teaching kids and making them feel good.

Right. That's awesome. You don't know what happened with their lives, but what you did is already awesome. It's so fun to do. This is blasphemy. I mean, it's blasphemy. You were really talking about like, this is like way worse than cursing, letting yourself feel okay for a second.

Right. And to, to verbalize the idea that I am good. You're the best. You're not good. Yeah. Yeah. You're awesome, hun. What?

It's so weird because it's so hard for me to say, okay. I love color and I've just in the past, whatever, I can't say, yeah, I just say, just like, you don't have to feel it. Just say it. I'm really good at putting colors together and I'm good at making things look coordinated and pretty and people like what I do because they, how did you do that? Can we, can you show me? Remember what we talked about last night is how many times would someone say to you,

yeah, I don't like those colors. What does that make you feel that you know that you're good at that confidence and that you know what you love? That is true. And see, that was the first thing that comes to my mind because I have realized, yeah, I do. I'm, I'm good with colors and, and I wouldn't that's because any other thing I would doubt myself on and say, oh, yeah, well, I have to turn that away.

But it's like, because I am confident in that part of my life, I would say, bullshit, I'm going to give a fuck what you say. I like these colors. I like the way it looks. And I'm very secure in that where anything else like, oh my God, no, I got to it. But yeah. You got it. That's neat.

That's the door in right there. And when you say, every time you say that, you, it's a victory and it's a serious victory against this ridiculous, oppressive regime that's established itself in your life. Anytime you're like, I'm good at colors and you say it, wow, that's huge. That's huge. And you could turn into a thing you do every day and it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. You get in front of the mirror and you look at yourself and you go, I'm good at colors.

Yeah. And, and just to experience it. So I hope your listeners listen to you and do this exercise as hard as it is. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. It feels good.

It does. It's a victory. It's empowering. Really. And truly. Great. Delicious food. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Mr. Waters. Oh, hang on. My cup thrown a dope. Yeah. It's working. You guys. This is a wonderful night.

And it's just really, really great to spend time with such a cool family. You guys are awesome. Oh, yeah. I love it, man. You're very blessed. I got blessed real good. I got a great mama and a great dad and a great brother. And when we were talking about my brother working for my dad's company, one thing that's really

cool is like my brother knows what I do. He couldn't do it. I would get depressed out here. I would call my brother and ask him to put the phone down just so I could hear the shipping tape going over top of the boxes and just knowing, Oh, right. If I don't do it out here, that's where I'm going to end up. And just, yeah, cool to have a brother like understands that what he does isn't for me. Do you ever think you'll meet your dad?

I don't know. I mean, I, I ancestry.com can know. I mean, I ancestry.com can only do so much. But it's all these stories that I've learned tonight. Who knows who it could be now. All these brand new names. Could have been Mr. Dave. Oh, that's right.

Mr. Dave, my janitor. Yeah. Who knows? That could be anyone, but I just hope it's Burns because I want to continue the generation of Burns waters. I want my son. We're all related if you trace it back far enough. Oh, yeah.

I hope you're my brother. I am. In some way. When you're in the bathroom, my mom, you just feel like your family. Ah, you guys. It's true. Oh, Duncan. Absolutely.

Well, I've, you know, this is a, it's just really cool, man. Like this is a really like for, for me, it feels great. It's, you don't even know, man. Like anytime you make it work, anytime you go down the path and you're not, you don't continue the echo of whatever it is and you pull this thing off. Ah, it's a big win. It's a big win. It really is.

You know, you said something earlier. I think you were asking my mom of like, what do you say to the people that don't feel like they have a passion? And I wanted to say, you know, that you can feel good. There's good days and there's bad days, but every day there's something positive or negative that's going on in your head that echoes. And I believe passion, what you find your passion from is based off that thing that won't shut up, whether it's a positive thing or negative thing.

And you decide how can I either help that echo or turn that echo off. Derek Waters, thank you so much for being on the DTFH Jody Waters. Thank you. It's been such a wonderful night getting to know you. You're an amazing human. This has been heart changing for me. So I thank you, Mr. Duncan Tressel and my Derek Matthew Waters. Thanks you guys.

Peace out. Peace out. Peace out. Peace out. What did that ever start? Peace out. What do people, where, where did that come from? I don't know.

Like I'm leaving. Thanks for listening, my sweet darlings. That was Derek and Jody Waters. And a big thanks to Bomfell for supporting this episode. You can go to Bomfell.com forward slash Tressel. Check them out. They're awesome. You'll get a nice discount and some super cool clothes.

And don't forget to join us over at patreon.com forward slash DTFH. Subscribe to us. Make sure you plaster your home with images of the DTFH. Consider a DTFH face or eyeball tattoo. Cloak yourself in the logo of the DTFH and multiply yourself. See if you can multiply yourself into a billion individual clones of yourself all covered in DTFH slogans and paraphernalia, then run through the streets of the world, screaming, having orgasms, joined together in a massive fleshy earth balloon, eradicate all evil and transform

all sad and suffering people into joyful, happy, tricky, awesome, sweethearts. Could you please do that for me? I would appreciate it. I'll see you guys next time. We got a great podcast coming up with Brian Normand from Symposia, an organization dedicated to spreading the psychedelic gospel. That's my words. They have a more refined way of saying it.

I'll see you guys soon. Hare Krishna. Thank you. Thank you. Male and Clearance Prices Exclusions Apply.