Duncan Trussell Family Hour - FEARLESS with Daniele Bolelli

Episode Date: January 8, 2016

Philosopher, author and podcaster, Daniele Bolelli, returns to the DTFH to talk about his new book "Not Afraid, on fear, heartbreak, raising a little girl, and cage fighting."    Also Duncan announces his upcoming tour in a truly beautiful SONG.

Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. I'm dirty little angel. You can get Dirty Angel anywhere you get your music. Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. New album and tour date coming this summer. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by casper.com. Go to casper.com forward slash family hour and use offer code family hour to get $50 off

a brand new mattress. Hello, sweet friends. It is I, Duncan Trussell. And you are listening to the Duncan Trussell Family Hour podcast. And I have an announcement so incredibly important that it can only be articulated in a song. Hitter Gary.

Happy New Year to you, human. You are still alive. You were not shot by ISIS. Ebola spared your life. Cancer did not kill you while your family watched and cried. Your heart did not stop working while you shoveled off your drive. In man's search for meaning, Victor Frankel

said we should live every moment as though on our deathbed we'd been given the chance to live our lives again. But this time, not fuck it up by acting like shit heads. You got to live life with the passion of a mother dog licking her puppies. But that means picking advantage of all the wonderful opportunities out there for you. Which is why I'd like you to come to see one of my live shows

on my upcoming air. No drugs on this. Best store. I will be in Asheville, Charleston, Durham, Richmond, Baltimore, Washington, Philadelphia, and Hampton, Boston, New York, and Brooklyn, Pittsburgh, too, Columbus, and Cleveland, Frundale, and Toronto, Chicago, and Madison, Minneapolis, and Kansas City, St. Louis, and Nashville, Vancouver,

and Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco, and Los Angeles. Go to my website, and you can buy tickets. Squarespace sponsored this tour. Squarespace sponsored this tour. There are no drugs on this bus tour. It's true, sweeties. I'm going to be able to spend most of April tooling around the country in a bus,

thanks to those darlings over at Squarespace. You can find all the information about this tour located at DuncanTrussell.com, and I hope you'll grab some tickets. Holy shit, man, it's 2016. Can you believe it? I can't. You know what else I can't believe?

I can't believe how fat I got. I went to the gym today. I've resumed going to the gym, and I did body fat measurement. And wow, did I plump up over the holidays. Wow, I plumped up. And I know how I plumped up. I know why I plumped up. I plumped up because I was eating entire pecan pies

and pouring booze down my throat, as though there were some kind of fire burning in my stomach that could only be extinguished by pecan pies and booze. And I ballooned up like a bouncy house inflated with an industrial pump. You just watch your hands shoving pies into your face, and you love it. It feels good, by the way.

It does feel good to eat a whole pie. I'm not going to lie about it, guys. It feels good to eat an entire pie. It feels good in a dark, awful way to keep coming back to the pie and watch it get smaller and smaller and feel your heart sink, because you know the pie will be gone soon, and even to contemplate getting another pie.

And it's a form of terrible nihilism, really. I was reading in Be Here Now, which is one of Ram Dass' most famous books, this passage in there. You know what? I'll just read it, because I think it totally applies. And if you've missed Be Here Now somehow, or you haven't read it in a long time, pick it up again.

It's just as incredible as it's always been. But if you haven't read it, you should definitely check it out. It's amazing. So here it is. You and I can always starve together if we're backstage in the here and now. If we're not in the here and now, no matter how much food we put in our bellies,

it's never gonna be enough. And that's the feeling of Western man. It's not enough. He's got it all going in as fast as he can shovel it. He's got every sensual gratification he can possibly desire, and it's not enough, because there's no here and now-ness about it. Here and now is the doorway to all that energy,

because if you're truthfully here and now, there's no more you. There's actually a disorder called pica, where if you've ever watched world's deadliest addictions, which is a great show on lifetime, then you've seen pica. My name's Adele. I'm 30 years old. I'm from Bradenton, Florida.

And my addiction is eating couch cushions. Oh, I love couch cushion the way it sits my mouth. It's soft and it's a good taste. The darker cushion, the yellow cushion that tastes better. It just has a stronger flavor. Well, at least couch cushions don't have any calories, but this phenomena of eating when you're not hungry

or secretly knowing that whatever the thing you desire is, isn't actually going to fulfill you, is mentioned in tons of world religions. And I've heard lots of different examples of it. A few of my favorites are, two of them come from the Hare Krishna's. One of them is, imagine if you were addicted to heroin and you got amnesia,

so that you didn't know that you were addicted to heroin. You had no idea, but you had the exact same desire for something, your body was physically addicted to something, but you didn't know it was heroin. So you would probably try to eat tons of stuff or just do anything to make the withdrawals go away. And so they would compare that to Krishna. They would say that we're all born into this dimension

being fully and completely in love with Krishna. But because of our karma, we've taken human birth and we don't remember that we're in love with Krishna. And so that love gets transferred to the things of the world. So whatever it is that you love, game of thrones, eating couch cushions, heroin is actually a kind of diffused love of God

being turned in the direction of the material universe. And I think that's super cool because it addresses something that I've always thought, which is that addicts have a wholly mystical quality to them. They remind me of saints in a certain way because they have this complete devotion to whatever the chemical or food or activity is that they happen to be addicted to.

It's very similar. It's just that the thing that they're addicted to is killing them, whereas if you could transfer the addiction to whatever you wanna call it, God, Krishna, love, the present moment, then instead of having shits that look like a couch or track marks, you get that beautiful glow that you see from time to time

in people who have a spiritual practice. Then another example I've heard, this too from the Hare Krishna's, is imagine a dog with no teeth in some village far away and the dog is starving and it finds a dry bone and begins chewing on this dry bone and it's cutting its gums and so its gums start bleeding

and the dog is drinking its own blood, thinking that there's meat on the bone. That's a pretty intense example of this very same thing which is that anything in the material universe that you think is satisfying you is actually an illusion. It's not really satisfying you. It's not permanently satisfying you. It's always a very fleeting form of satisfaction

that's usually followed by more pain. One of the great examples of this is just smoking. Like if you're addicted to smoking, it's very similar to having poison ivy. When you get poison ivy, you get all these disgusting blisters all over wherever you touch the poison ivy and it feels so good to itch them.

It feels so good, but the more you itch, the more it spreads, or at least it seems to spread, and the more you prolong the suffering. And then the final example that I know of for this kind of stuff, I'm sure there's many more, is in Tibetan Buddhism. And in Tibetan Buddhism, I'm just gonna read this from Wikipedia.

It's called, they're called Preitas, or it's called The World of Hungry Ghost, and it's one of the six domains of the desire realm of Buddhism. So when you die, this is a place that you can go to, depending on your karma, and it says, in Tibetan Buddhism, hungry ghosts, Preitas,

have their own realm depicted on the Bhava Chakra. This is this mandala that you could check out, just Google search it, and are represented as tear drop or paisley shaped with bloated stomachs and necks too thin to pass food, such that attempting to eat is also incredibly painful. Some are described as having mouths the size of a needle's eye,

and a stomach the size of a mountain. This is a metaphor for people futilely attempting to fulfill their illusory physical desires. So that's another example of the identical phenomena, which is that whatever you think in the material universe is gonna take away that aching, itching desire, you secretly know it's not gonna do the trick.

It won't work. It doesn't mean you shouldn't try. I actually heard there's something that Ram Dass says, and I don't know if this is, I haven't read this quote anymore, but I heard he said, sometimes you gotta drive the red sports car, which means sometimes you gotta give it a shot,

you gotta try it, whatever the thing is, getting the big job, making a million dollars, becoming the king of the world, becoming the greatest emperor of the universe, whatever it is, but still ultimately you will be doomed to failure in these pursuits and endeavors, and the tragedy of it really in a certain way,

and they talk about a kind of mournfulness, or a nostalgic feeling that can come over you when you start meditating regularly, and that feeling is you realize that all this time that you were running around on the hamster wheel of human life, trying to achieve so much in such a short amount of time, all the time that you thought getting to point,

from point A to point B, was gonna take away that endless aching, secret sadness, really all you had to do was sit somewhere, anywhere, just find a place to sit down and follow your breath, and for once look straight into the eyes of the suffering that exists inside of you, and somehow through that process, you begin to experience all of the gratification

that you thought would come from becoming some version of Donald Trump, or the most famous, wealthiest, beautiful, perfect person on earth. And so for a little while, I get it sometimes when I finally return to meditation, after all the terrible, long, tumultuous, dramatic, ridiculous periods in between

when I have a meditation practice, there's always this sentimental feeling of why did I ever stop doing this? Because the truth of the matter is, how can you really enjoy eating an entire pecan pie if the whole time you're eating the pie, all you're thinking about is that the pie is going away, or you're thinking about how fat

the pie is gonna make you? The cool thing about a meditation practice is that you train to get into the present moment. So if you decide to continue eating couch cushions or pecan pie, or pie made of couch cushions, then at least you're gonna be able to really enjoy it. At least you're gonna be able to really taste it and feel the way it goes into your mouth

and the sweetness of the thing. That's the real tragedy here, is that while you're running on that hamster wheel, all you're thinking about is where you hope to go. When you finally get the big prize, when you finally get the great achievement, the medal, the trophy, the accolades, if you haven't taught yourself how to be in the moment,

then more than likely all you're thinking about is either where you have to go after that or how the thing that you have is gonna go away. And so you never really get to enjoy it because the swimming pool of your mind is filled with all these turds that are the thoughts of the past or the present, or how nothing really lasts,

or how now that you're where you're at, you're gonna get revenge on all the people who thought you couldn't get there, or some other madness that the mind has created to keep you from experiencing the sweetness of the present moment. And the other amazing aspect of all these teachings is that it points in the direction

of a very attainable place, which isn't based on convincing a certain number of monkey descendants that you are worthy of some great thing or another. All right, pals, that's it for me. We got a great podcast for you today with the intrepid Danielli Belelli. We're gonna get right into it,

but first some quick business. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by the Sleep Lords over at Casper.com. Go to Casper.com, forward slash family hour, and use offer code, family hour, to get $50 off of your beautiful new mattress. Friends, if sleep is a river, that means the mattress is your raft.

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while you were watching Netflix in bed? Hell no. Buying a mattress doesn't have to be like attempting to shoot apocalypse now. You don't have to go to some hell shop and get manipulated by a devil. You can just go to Casper.com, forward slash family hour, and order a mattress.

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I sleep on a Casper mattress. It's where I lay my head every night. I sleep on that Casper. I play Fallout 4 on that Casper. And I make love on that Casper. I pet my dogs on the Casper. And I pet the cat on the Casper. It's a great mattress.

And look, if you want some Donald Trump style mattress that you can eat your flame and yawns on, or $16,000 bottles of wine and your demon throat on, then go ahead and get one. But try out a mattress first. If it doesn't fit in your pleasure room or king of sleep, you can always return it, my liege. Go to Casper.com, forward slash family hour,

and you'll get $50 off of you's offer code, Family Hour. Much thanks to Casper for supporting this episode. Do you enjoy the Dunkin' Trustle Family Hour podcast? If so, there's lots of ways for you to support it. One of the main ways being, go through our Amazon portal located at Dunkin'Trustle.com the next time you intend to buy anything from Amazon. It's in the comments section of every single

one of these episodes. All you gotta do is click through it and buy something. You know what I just bought from Amazon.com? I bought a ladybug self-defense key chain knife. I don't even know why I did it, to be honest. I was laying in bed with that itch, the hungry ghost itch, and I just felt like I wanted to buy something from Amazon.

So I ended up going down this rabbit hole on the internet and found these like, they were like, I think they're called self-defense key chain knives. And so I don't even, I don't need one of these. And I mean, I live in Pasadena, unless a coyote breaks through the window and I happen to have my keys on me, I think I'm gonna be all right.

But they're pretty cool, pretty sinister looking, shankin' knives. If you just want a cool knife on your key chain, just to show your friends that you've truly jumped the shark and are feeling supremely paranoid, probably a good sign you're eatin' too much marijuana if you get a self-defense key chain knife. But regardless, I bought one and it is pretty snazzy.

I'm lookin' at it right now. Just go to the Amazon portal book market the next time you decide to pick up anything from Amazon. Remember, there's no need to leave your house anymore. That's the time period that we're living in. They actually have two hour delivery in Los Angeles, which means that if you run out of toilet paper, you can have a van in your driveway within two hours

filled with hundreds and hundreds of rolls of toilet paper. And if you live in an area where there's earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, or the threat of ISIS or homeland terrorism, you should stock up on toilet paper because when it all goes down, nothing is worse than running out of toilet paper after the power grid fails. It's a nightmare.

We also have brand new t-shirts in the shop. You can check that out by going to dunkintrustle.com and clicking on the shop section. And most importantly, in case you skipped over the song in the beginning of this podcast, and that really would hurt my feelings, I have a massive bus tour coming up thanks to the Sweeties at Squarespace.

It's the, there are no drugs on this bus tour. And you can find everything you wanna find out about that tour, where I'm gonna be, tickets, et cetera, by going to dunkintrustle.com. All right, that's it. Let's dive into this podcast. Danielli Bilelli has a brand new book out that you should immediately order.

It's called Not Afraid on Fear, Heartbreak, Raising a Baby Girl, and Cage Fighting. Go to daniellibilelli.com, that's D-A-N-I-E-L-E-B-O-L-E-L-L-I.com to order. He also has a fantastic podcast called The Drunken Taoist. You can find everything out that you need to find out about Sweet Danielli Bilelli, just by going to his website. But before you do that, listen to this episode

so you can truly understand what an amazing human being he is. Now everybody please, welcome to the Dunkin' Trussell family hour podcast, my dear friend, Danielli Bilelli. coffin. It's me, Dunkin' Trussell. Don't even go to teaspoon. Don't go, don't go don't go! It's me, Dunkin' Trussell.

Don't even go to. Don't even go to. Don't even go to. It's me, Dunkin' Trussell, Deli Haola Nearly Done. Don't even go to. Don't even know if you can think that I'm the best. You don't have? How come Chun thank you so much

if you enjoy the Project Wee TV. You won't be coming again? Come on now. That's 만 forgive me how it was com'on. Look at that. Sweet presence on this very rainy day in Los Angeles. My only complaint is that I don't get to gaze upon your beautiful face since we're on Skype.

I mean, that's where we're at now, right? That's where we're at. We've gotten to the point in the history of Los Angeles where it's impossible to get from point A to point B, especially when it's raining. Like all the interstates. Somebody tweeted a picture of what the interstates look like. Everything is just red.

People can't drive in the rain here. They don't know how they freak out. Yeah, it's painful, man. It's absolutely ridiculous. We need to invent a tele-transport where we can just press a button and I'm at your house without any traveling between. That would be the future of humanity.

I think that's what virtual reality is gonna do probably. That's gonna be our version of teleportation and the concept of getting together in person with someone is gonna seem like this kind of retro, quaint, super intimate thing. Kind of like listening to records, right? Where you put on a record and it's like, what's that thing? Whoa, look at that.

Yeah, exactly. Where you just sit and listen to music and read and all that insane stuff that the elders used to do prior to Instagram. Yeah, so 20th century. So you just finished your... So how many books have you written so far? Four.

So this is your fourth book that you finished? Yep. Congratulations, man. What a huge accomplishment. Thank you, my man. And what's the title of this book? Not Afraid. And it's the subtitle is on...

Let me see if I remember it actually. It's in Aldi Githard for you. So I have all the good info up. Of course, I Google Not Afraid and I'm getting the Eminem song Needless to Say because that seems slightly more popular than my book, surprisingly enough. I could not believe that.

But yeah, it's Not Afraid and the subtitle is On Fear, Heartbreak, Raising a Baby Girl and Cage Fighting. Wow, so this is like an autobiography. Yeah, I mean, it kind of makes me sick to think it that way because, I mean, you're right, it is. It's just that when people say, I wrote a memoir, it sounds so pretentious

and assolish that it makes me throw up. But at the same time, it is what it is, you know, it's... And sometimes the one thing I notice is that people tend to dig it a lot more when you say something personal that you have actually lived through as opposed when you are just purely waxing philosophically. So I felt like, okay, man, you know,

just get over your stupid, ooh, it's a memoir, why this crap, you know, and just do it if it seemed like something people respond to better. I don't... It's so funny how the mind works because that person that you just fabricated probably doesn't exist.

Like, I've never heard anyone say, ah, who does he think he is to write a memoir? But, you know, it's so weird because if you really consider it, you're the person in the universe looking at things like that. It's probably nobody else's, isn't that wild? I'm glad you wrote a memoir, it's cool.

I wanna hear, you have such a fascinating life. You've had so many twists and turns that have happened to you. I'm sure I don't know all of them, but I don't think people are aware of just how colorful your life has been up until this point. I think what it is is the ego is always there ready to jump on things. So it's very easy to start looking at your own life

and thinking you're hot shit. And so that's why, to me, the idea of a memoir was scary. It's probably because I know my ego too well and if I start paying over too much importance to it, it can grow to proportions that are not desirable. So that's what it was. But I think you're right, ultimately. You know, other people don't give a fuck.

They want, if it's good, it's good and that's what they care about. I think that was my own hang up. But yeah, man. And I think in all the kind of way this book was born through your podcast because it's some of our early discussions. I noticed that whenever I brought up things

that were more personal, when the discussion went in a more personal direction, people respond at 10 times as much. And when we're talking in more abstract philosophical terms, people dig it, but it's not quite the same. It's when you bring it to really just your heart and guts that people really get something out of it on a deeper level.

One of the opening quotes is this Friedrich Nietzsche quote about, I only love what a man has written with his blood. Which I love that quote. It's brilliant because ultimately is, I don't want to hear some useless chatter. I want to hear something that comes straight from your guts. That's who you are. That's something you have lived on your skin,

in your muscle and in everything else. And so that's in many, many ways. I got convinced to do this by doing the podcast with you. Man, that is so cool. And you're right. It's the stories. It's like the conjecture and the hypotheticals and the distant appraisal of the universe

through some kind of logical lens. It can get so dry so quickly. I'm actually reading, or actually I stopped reading it, but I was checking out this book, The Perennial Philosophy by Aldous Huxley. And it's a, he's trying to assemble a version of religion, like the homogenized religion, or what do they all have in common?

And it's a very intellectual book. And the thing that he's talking about is amazing. This idea that all over the world, various cultures have gathered together specific symbols that point in the direction of a transcendent phenomena that seems to be universally experienced by the mystics of the world, and then articulated and written down by their devotees.

And some of their devotees achieve this heightened state of consciousness and others don't. It's amazing to think that, what the signposts are pointing to is mind-blowing, but Huxley, because he takes a very academic, safe approach to it, and I understand why he did it that way, he ends up unintentionally sucking out

all the juiciness of the subject matter, and it just seems like a bag of dried leaves. So I do know what you mean about the necessity of personal stories, and also the fear that goes along with it, the kind of true sinking feeling in your stomach as you reveal some moment in your life that you've kept secret,

or that makes you seem like a human. Which is what makes it exciting, what makes it powerful, and makes it relatable. I mean, I think about some of the episodes you have done that people have gotten most inspired from, they are all the ones where you just put yourself in the game, where it's not just over pleasantly chatting about something, but, and I think it makes sense.

We want, it's one thing to hear somebody talking, it's one thing to hear somebody's put in their experience under the microscope with just pure radical honesty, words and all, not trying to hide anything, not trying to Disney fight, and making it sound cooler than it was, just being very, very real,

which ultimately is what we do with podcasting to begin with, that's the strength of podcasting compared to other mediums, is the radical honesty that the medium requires. There was, there's a kind of unintentional violence that happens when a person portrays reality differently in the way reality is, and do you know, like so when a person has a public image as it's called,

and that public image is this buttoned up, polished, kimped, sophisticated being, yet underneath that mask is a person who's tortured, maybe addicted to this thing or that thing, maybe beating their husband or wife, or maybe, you know, whatever, whatever it happens to be. And the moment you step across that boundary, and say, yeah, you know,

I think I got a mild drinking problem, what ends up happening is all the people out there who've been hiding from that fact out of shame suddenly feel this sense of relief, because a person just come out and said it. So you do people such a great service by telling the truth, and coversely, by disguising yourself, I just think of like TV hosts or polished people

that we see in the media or the old version of movie stars, and just think about how awful that being is in the sense that it creates an illusionary version of mental health. It's the equivalent of photoshopping women's photos and fashion magazines to give this unrealistic idea of what women look like. In the same way,

these people give this unrealistic idea of like here is what a well put together adult looks like. And when you see me on camera, and when you see me in public, you're seeing the same person who's offstage. The classic example of this right now in the news, Bill fucking Cosby. Oh yeah, that's exactly the guy I was thinking of

when you started this, yep, that's we're on the same wavelength. I mean, think about that. That guy was this put forth this image. Of the most family friendly, fatherly, conservative, grandfatherly patriarch who served as a kind of moral compass for all of the people lost

in the insane immorality of popular culture. And all the time he was throwing that shit out there, he was putting fucking sleeping powder, theoretically putting sleeping powder into the model's drinks and fucking them while they slept. Yep. And I think there's something there about the people who,

I mean, it's the classic stereotype, right? It's sort of the super hardcore Christian conservative bashes gay who's then doing methamphetamine with gay hookers kind of thing. You know, it's like the more you repress it who you are, the more you try to put up a front that's different from what you feel inside, the worse it gets.

You're not just gonna stray a little from this ideal image of portrayed, you're just gonna go batshit crazy 150% the other side. And it's a dangerous game to play, this game of not being honest with who you are, not letting other people know who you are. And there's something, when you do it, it's so freeing because there's something when you are,

hey, this is me, you like it, you like it, you don't like it, you don't like it, but you're not trying to sell yourself constantly. There's something really powerful about that and that's exactly the, you know, the other route is instead presenting an image and putting the sleeping pills into ladies drinks. That sort of the other is the most extreme example

of this mentality. I'm sure most people who engage in these kinds of things don't go that far, but ultimately, that's the logic is I am something, but I'm gonna show something completely different and by doing that, well, I might as well go all out at that point. I might as well, my Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde game grows so wild that it's downright scary

when you actually get to see what it is. This is really cool talking about this because the retreat that I just went to, this, the theme of the thing was love everyone and tell the truth and which is the two, I guess, I don't wanna call it commandments because that sounds so Old Testament and austere, but Neem Kohli Baba, he gave Ram Dass's guru

gave very little instruction about how to live and intentionally was like that and didn't, like people who wrote down what he was saying, like there's a story of someone had been writing down everything that he said and sort of creating this kind of gospel of what he was like and he had the person destroy it. He didn't want that shit, he didn't want people

to be in the moment with him, not spending time with him, archiving or being a scribe, he wanted people to be there with him and so the instruction was, it's something I love thinking about is love everyone and tell the truth and it's the two together that's really important because I think a lot of times people will use telling the truth or this is who I am as a form of aggression, you know,

you're not gonna fucking change me, this is who I am, like it or not, this is what I'm like. That is it, don't fucking, don't rock my boat bitch because this is me and if you can't deal with it, get the fuck out and that's a pretty rotten way to be even though that may be the way that you are, you're using it as a kind of aggression but when you have the core of telling the truth,

the intention of love where you figure out a way to lovingly tell the truth so that when you're telling someone how you feel or what has happened or where you've been or what you've done or what you wanna do or whatever the confession or non confession is, inside of it is this core of love that you've cultivated through some kind of practice and when you do that, then when the truth comes to people

it's not so radioactive, you know, people say that truth hurts but usually it's not that the truth hurts so much as the person telling the truth wanted to hurt you which I've experienced that before. Hmm. Yeah, I think it's, these are people who use the, this is how I am as an excuse to, it's still a shield,

it's still, these are people who are not comfortable with who they are and so use it in this aggressive fashion as a weapon against somebody else, like you can't handle the truth kind of thing. Yes. Because the reality to me is that when you actually are comfortable with who you are, when you do accept yourself, words and all,

then you don't have that edge, you're not so pissed off or angry, you're actually, if anything, a sweeter element comes up because it's like, hey man, I really just wish I could do it for you and if it's in within me, I'm more than happy to and if it's not, it's not, you know, but it's, let's not play a game with each other or I'm trying to deceive you by showing you

what I know you like when the reality is something else. You know, that's something very different right there where there's a degree of honesty and that's beautiful. That's sweet even. How do you... Whereas kind of in your face, fuck you honesty is obviously aggressive and it comes from people who ultimately don't accept themselves for real.

So, yeah, the in your face, fuck you kind of honesty is often based on an emotional state more than some truth inside that person. But how do you differentiate? Like think of times when the people that you love the most in your life, your daughter, your mom, whoever it may be, you go through periods with them

where you don't feel particularly joyous around them. You're gonna feel annoyed or irritated or tired or whatever the thing is. And in that moment that your truth might be, I don't wanna be around you right now, you fucking asshole. You know what I mean? Right. So, is what you're advocating here

or what you're talking about, is it to always give a voice to that kind of temporary state? And I think- No, I mean, one level is to oneself as well, is it does not mean that every single thing that goes through your mind, you have to throw it out there with no discrimination.

Cause obviously, there is a place for aid, there's always a place for softening the message. You don't need to punch somebody in the face verbally to get your point across. You may say something about what your needs are at the moment that don't come from just a place of screw you, I want things my way. You can be diplomatic about it.

You can still be true to what you're feeling, but without being an asshole. And I think that's important right there. And also, take a look, is it me saying exactly what I'm feeling right now? What's possibly hurting these other person's feelings? Or is it really that important to be 100% completely honest every second of the day?

Well, many times, yes, many times, no. There are moments where it's just a passing feeling and it passes in like three minutes later, you feel differently. So, it does not mean that every single thing that pops up, you have to voice it, you know? If it's meaningful enough, if it stays there long enough, if it seems like you weigh long enough

and you feel like, okay, this is real, there's something solid here, well, then we can talk about it. Then we can figure out how to approach it. But it does not mean just lack of, complete lack of self-control where you just decide, I'm just this human toilet where everything goes through and everything comes out of my mouth

with no filter there, you know? Right, yeah. And it's an easy thing that when you start hearing this sort of thing to get confused and think that that's what this is about. But aside from the difficulty of telling the truth to other people, what about telling the truth to yourself? What about that terrible moment when you have to look,

it's some way that you've been deluding yourself about this thing or that thing and cross over that chasm from the false to the real. Well, that's a pretty intense and terrifying moment. Yeah, that's one of the themes that actually does pop up in the book. Well, it actually shows up in many moments, but there's the one that I care the most about

is where I've noticed with my daughter, like when you can safely say that I've had, because of everything that happened in my life, I do have a couple of anger issues, you may say. So there's always that, doesn't take much to set me off. I mean, I'm not gonna go crazy, I'm not gonna, but I raise my voice, I show some anger.

And with a little kid, you cannot do that shit around them all the time. You can't be like, I would see like she's not as much now because she's older, but when she was two or three or she would throw a little tantrum or she would cry for no reason and suddenly I'm all pissed off and angry and then I see just fear in these little kids' eyes

because she had just seen a monster and the monster is me. And I'm like, what the fuck? That's not who I wanna be. That's, I mean, I understand that's what I'm feeling right now because I'm frustrated, I haven't slept, I'm tired, I'm whatever the hell, but that does not justify me just unleashing all my frustration and all my bullshit on some poor child that just racked up.

It doesn't mean if it's honest or not, it's still fucked up. Like at this point is, yeah, this is where I'm at and I should recognize it, but I should also take some steps to change it because that's just not a cool way to live. I don't wanna live that way. I don't wanna be that person, you know? And that person, I've noticed that my,

when I get really fucking angry, 90% of the time, the anger is not justified anger, but it's based on the idea that some state that is happening temporarily will continue forever. And so the anger comes because I think if I don't do something about this now for the rest of my life, I'll be experiencing this bullshit. So I gotta fight.

But the truth of the matter is most of the time, whatever the situation that you're in happens to be, it's temporary, it's not gonna last. You're not, generally, you're not in prison. You're not stuck. Generally, whoever you're around who's being an asshole, they won't be an asshole in two days. They'll be back to normal.

And when you start realizing that, then it becomes a game of holding your tongue and just waiting, and things do tend to get better. I'm not talking about like ignoring or denial or, but it is, when you really look at most anger issues, at least for me, I don't know if it's the same for you. Usually it's you think this situation is permanent, and it's not, and that feeling of permanence

is what makes so much suffering happen. Yeah, absolutely, because you think that, and that's one of the weird ways in which our minds work. Sometime we get stuck in this mindset where we think the bad stuff has always been this way and will last forever, and the good stuff, when it's there, we just take it for granted, say, oh, yeah, of course, it's great, but, you know,

and, but the next time the bad stuff comes up, you feel like it's like all the time in between the last bad moment you have, and this one has just been erased, has disappeared, and like you don't even feel that that's what, like you don't even remember that there was all this enormous stretch of good time. You think like there was a continuous line

from the last bad moment when you were in this emotion to this one with nothing in between, and it's bullshit. It's an illusion. That's fascinating. Well, I mean, is it an illusion? I mean, in some way, if you wanna get creepy about it, if you look at this, just to bring Nietzsche back up, his idea that everything in life repeats,

what is that called? The eternal return. Yes, eternal return. So it's the idea that every single moment that happens will eternally happen. And deja vu's are actually a kind of mouth. I don't think Nietzsche talked about deja vu's, but you could apply it to this concept.

So whenever you have this feeling like, shit, I've been here before, it's because you have a billion trillions, quadzillion times, because your life is one track on your iTunes, and it just keeps repeating forever. And so, from that POV, or I guess you'd call it a thought experiment, or maybe not.

I mean, if you think of time as a, if you think that events happening in the universe, kind of like tunnels running through the sands of eternity, like an ant tunnel, then that tunnel of phenomena and action and experience really will stay there forever. It's encoded into the matrix of time eternally. And so, does it repeat?

Who the fuck knows? But anyway, the idea that when you are in a shitty state, and you get to another shitty state, and all the places in between suddenly evaporate, and there's just these shitty states, you could say in those moments you have entered into the hell realm. You could say that in those moments

you have moved into the place that is talked about by all the mystics and all the fundamentalists. You're literally in hell, you know? And it would make sense that that vibratory frequency connects to all the other frequencies in time. And so, I guess it would also make sense that once you're in hell, Christ, how do you keep your head when you're in hell?

How do you maintain logic? How do you, when you are in those states, Bolely, tell us the next time we find ourselves gnashing our teeth and hissing at some temporary event in our lives or clutching our fingernails into our palms and rage, what do you do to get back to the main line? What do you do to escape from the hell of anger?

I love the way you frame it. I think it's really important for anybody to make friends with hell, to figure out how to make yourself comfortable in the most uncomfortable places in the world. It's something that, you had Tate Fletcher on your show, didn't you at some point? Yeah, Tate is great, he talks about it a lot.

He's about this idea of just seeking discomfort, seeking those experiences that are less than pleasant, because ultimately those experiences, at some point will happen, whether you like it or not, and by instead going consciously into them, seeking them, trying to learn from them, you can figure out ways to, the next time they catch you, not to be caught unprepared.

So for me, for example, like one of the things that I chat about in the book is, one of my yearly experiences of fear has been, like I've always been terrified of fighting. To me, I don't like conflict, I don't like the idea of some dude taking me down, sitting on my chest and just punching the hell out of me. Weird, because everyone loves that, that's so odd.

It's physically uncomfortable, but also psychologically, it's like, it's the ultimate ego nightmare, right? It's the, you're back in fourth grade with the bully in the play art kind of thing, you know? And it's the most, nobody would like that, it sucks, it's horrible, and in combat sports, you're not just losing a ball game, you are, you have somebody physically dominate you,

it's not a particularly pleasant experience. So the normal reaction is, I wanna flee from here, this sucks, get me home already, I don't want to fight this opponent, give me somebody easier, give me, that kind of thing. And instead, because to me, that's where martial arts really become important, this become like almost a spiritual practice,

is not when everything is going well, now when you learn the cool technique, I mean, that's fun and all, but when things are not going your way, when you are getting your ass kicked, when there's no way in hell that you're gonna beat this guy, because it's stronger, better, faster, has better technique, you know, they're just, you are in the middle of it,

and it's not over yet. So when your mind is begging you, let's get the hell out of here, when you embrace your defeat, so to speak, when you embrace where you're at, when you find whatever the weird thing is in you that makes you keep fighting in the face of a completely hopeless situation,

where there's really no chance you're gonna turn it around and win, and yet you keep fighting, something really weird happens, because you become comfortable, well, I don't know about comfortable, you become okay, you feel at home in the shittiest situation possible in a combat sport,

and I think that then transcend to daily life. You know, the perfect arm bar is not gonna help you much in daily life unless you get into lots of fight. The perfect left hook is not gonna help you. This ability to stay with it when all hell is breaking loose around you, that is the most important thing

that you can take away from martial arts in today's life, at least in my experience. And it's interesting you use the term at home, that, and I think that's a really great way to put it, because it implies that home is not some geographic, doesn't have a geographic identity, but what you're talking about is what I've heard a million times in a lot of different beautiful ways,

which is that home is a frequency that you can tune into, and then this frequency, or this specific locale does not exist in time and space. It is unperturbed by anything that happens in the world. It is completely unaffected, it has, it doesn't degrade, it doesn't rot, it's always there for you. And martial arts being a spiritual practice

teaches you how to access that place through conflict, because what better way to realize that, you know, than through some massive, I mean, what a paradoxical thing to feel as though you're at home while someone is beating the shit out of you, you know? And not like home as though you have an abusive father, but the home is like safety,

home of not safety like airport safety, but home in the sense of being completely embraced in a situation where exactly who you are is perfect. I think that's exactly what my all-time idol, Zen monk from the 1400s, E.Q. Sojun, I believe that's what he meant when he said, throw me into hell and I'll find a way to enjoy it. I mean, it's obviously paradoxical

because yeah, good luck enjoying hell. That's, you know, you're picturing the worst things in the world, are you gonna enjoy it unless you are a weird masochist? But I think that's what he means. Not literally like, yes, I'm really looking forward to hell. This is gonna be so much fun, but more as in, hey, throw me in the worst possible situation.

I'm not gonna be able to change the outcome, but I'm gonna find some way to stay with it and not being just, ah, I need to get out of here. Oh, this is horrible. Oh, this, no, this is a lot easier said than done, which is why for me, martial arts has been an interesting practice because it's kind of like going back

to that same battle over and over again, but it's also an extremely useful practice for me. It has helped me tremendously. And I think this is the, I saw, you know, this sounds so cheesy, but I was watching Oprah Winfrey interview, Tick-Not Han, and she was in the very beginning of the interview, she's sitting across from this guy.

Tick-Not Han is, you probably know what he is, is a Zen Buddhist, I believe he's a Zen, and written a lot of great books, pieces every step, lots of great books. I only remember the name of that one, but I've read a few, but people talk about Tick-Not Han when they describe him. One of the descriptions they use is when he,

his presence is like being around a mountain because he's so focused and grounded and at peace. So Oprah's commenting on, you know, just like the vibe he's putting out, and she asked him, do you, you must find yourself in situations where you get perturbed and how do you deal with that? Like what do you do?

Do you, or do you like this all the time? I think it's something ridiculous like that. And he said, in those moments I go to my breath, you know, he goes, this is why I have a practice, because in those moments I go into my breath and try to become more fully into the present moment. What's happening? And that's why a practice is so important.

And I think that's why universally from every single camp, whether it's martial arts or Buddhism or Judaism or Christianity, you name it, every single one of them advises some kind of daily discipline so that you can learn how to access that place called home, no matter what's happening. Absolutely. And that's where, you know, whatever exercise,

whatever practice, whatever, whatever helps you to remember that state of being you, being at home inside who you are, even when outside nasty things are happening. You know, whatever gets you there, use it. You know, I have zero, I don't care what method the people use, as long as it works for you,

that's really the only thing that matters. If it works, it's the right thing, you know? And to me, the way I see it is a constant battle, because in my mind and in my experience, you never get to a place where you have it and you never run the risk of losing it again. It's just that you become good at riding in the bull, so to speak, you know.

There was a martial artist by the name of Morihei Ueshiba who people commented at, oh man, you have this amazing balance. It's like you never lose balance. And he said, quite the opposite. I'm actually, I'm losing balance all the time. It's just that I regain it so quick that you never see me having lost it in the first place.

But I constantly get in thrown off balance. It's just that I roll with it and I regain it, which is, to me, that's what living is in some ways. You're never gonna come to a place where things don't affect you anymore. I mean, by that point, you're dead. You know, we are affected by things around us. The trick is how do we surf with it?

How do we regain that balance as that giant push is sending us flying one way? How do we manage to counterbalance it, going a little the other way and being able to stay with it? Well, this is, to me, one of the qualities of people who have had a lifetime practice is that they effortlessly convert whatever the energy is coming into them

into something that not only helps them be in the moment and expand, but seems to help the people around them expand. And I've done weird experiments with folks like Jack Hornfield or people like Sharon Salzburg or folks I've gotten to interview where I'll try to pitch them some snowball made of darkness, you know?

Just something coming from my own neurosis or fear, anger, whatever. And I'll toss it at them. And every single time, effortlessly, no hesitation, no gears turning, they just transform that into something beautiful and sweet and something that may not bullshit sweet either, but something that makes you grow a little bit.

And that's the practice. And that's the discipline, that's the, I think that's one of the results of this is that you're not just helping yourself through this, but when all it takes is one calm person to prevent a disaster from happening. One person who isn't losing their shit can keep an entire room of people calm.

And when you realize that, there's more to this idea of a daily practice than just you, but then from doing this kind of thing, whatever it may be, you're really helping your community too. You're helping your family, you're helping your life. It's, and you're making things more fucking interesting too. PS, I mean, what's more interesting when then that moment emerges

that in the past you would have completely blown a fucking fuse, lost your shit, done something crazy, and you don't do anything. And the moment goes away and there's no drama where there used to be drama. Jesus, that's one of my favorite things. I agree completely. There was, I don't know if you ever met him.

There's a guy who was a friend of Aubrey Marcos, Poranghi, he's a Brazilian musician. Yes. Really talented musician and sweet human beings. And that guy is such a good energy. I think it's kind of like the same thing that you're describing regarding Jack and some of the people you had on the podcast

that Poranghi has this sweetness that's not bullshit sweetness, it's not weakness, it's real sweetness, but he's just, and he was at my house for a few days when he was visiting LA. And so I got to be around him for maybe three, four, five days in a row. And by the time he left,

I remember when I would feel myself getting all worked up and pissed off and I would think of just this energy of how he would handle things. And he became inspiring for me. I was like, hey, why don't I go, if I admire that so much, why don't I just try to use that approach a little bit more?

Why don't I, and it work. Somebody's example can really help you because it gives you a model for how to act in the world. And if somebody has it, if somebody's doing it, and as it is always a relative term, because I'm sure that on the right situation, they'll get pissed off and throw things at the wall, but if they have a higher percentage than you do

of getting it the way you would like to, then they can serve you as a good model and they become kind of a mental teacher that way, a mental image of somebody who behaves the way you wish you could. And then if you put your attention there, it becomes easier to materialize it in reality. And so in that sense, you're right,

every person who does that, whether it's once in their life or on a daily basis, can also serve as a teacher for somebody else. That's right, yeah, that's right. It's, and this is the, in Vaishnava Bhakti Yoga, one of the concepts that is stressed is one of the most important aspects of spiritual practice is association.

Who are you hanging out with? And if you're hanging, try to make it a point to hang out with people who are attempting some form of practice, whatever it may be. The more you hang out with those people, because I know just hanging out with comedians, if I hang out with comedians enough, I'll get funnier. Like just being around super funny people

will make me funny. It just happens. And I also know that being around negative, depressed, cynical, skeptical, angry, unhappy, miserable people, I will start becoming like that. I mean, I know that just if you get around certain people, you'll take on their, you can take on their vote, their vocal patterns a little bit.

You can work everything's contagious. So it's so important to have at least one person in your life who has got a practice, somebody you can talk to or hang out with or just associate with just a little bit. Cause that's all you really need is just one person. You don't have to surround yourself with Benedictine monks or monastic Zen Buddhists.

It doesn't mean you have to, you know, abandon all of your friends just because they're caught up in some temporary cycle of depression. That would be awful. But if you can add to your friends, just find some person. And it doesn't have to be some, oh, this is my teacher. It doesn't have to be like that. It doesn't have to be some formalized relationship,

but just all you need is one. And cause you tune into that person, I do the same thing, man. Like if I, if I start getting really fucking pissed lately, I'll just think about like the satsang that I hang out with on these retreats, just this really sweet mishmash of people from all these varying traditions.

And it calms me down instantly. Instantly. Now, big time. And I think there's, there's something to repetition. You know, if throughout the day you pick what it is that the mental image or that person or whatever that does it for you, that helps you get in touch with that state of consciousness

that you cherish, that you want to be able to embody. And you try to not just say, oh, yeah, yeah, sure. I know that. Yeah, it's important. It's great. No, no, it's not a thought. It's a practice. So you have to go back to it multiple times a day.

Doesn't have to be, again, as you say, a formal thing. It doesn't mean you need to get cross-legged under. It can just be take 10 seconds to put the mental image back in there. And it becomes so much easier if you do that regularly. Like I noticed lately when I started every morning, I'll chat with my daughter for like 30 seconds about how I want to be that day with her

and how I would like her to be with. And we kind of make a deal because basically, you know, you don't want me to get mad. I would like you to listen to me. Let's figure out. And we picture kind of the way all the good days we've had. And now we want to manifest that again on this particular day.

And so now we have a mental image to start the day of how it can be. And it sounds so childish and simple. And yet it makes such a huge difference. And it helps me so much to actually go that route. It's unbelievable. I mean, when I do it and I don't do it regularly, God damn it.

But anytime I do do it, and it really is, I think when people think about this shit, they think, yeah, I just don't have time to spend an hour, 30 minutes every day doing this bullshit. Man, I'm trying to maximize my sleeping time before I have to go to fucking work or go to school or whatever. And I'm not going to do this shit.

But it really is, it's a pause. It can be just a fucking pause. Even before you eat, just a little pause of like, I got food, this is good. You know, just something like that. As simple as that, it can start a pattern that grows inside of you, and it's real. You know, I think another important thing to note

in discussions of this matter are that results are not instantaneous. That I've noticed that when I get sick or I hurt myself physically, I never get better as fast as I would like to get better. Like when I get a cold, I want to get over that cold way before the cold is done. And then if the cold doesn't go away,

as quickly as I'd like, I start getting nervous. Like shit, man, I hope I'm okay, I hope this isn't a flu, or fuck, what could this be? Then my mind starts going crazy, but if you just let it go, it'll go away on its own. I think the true progress is never as fast as you'd like it to be. So the kind of, the growth that happens

with these kinds of practices is at first just as slow as getting in shape physically. If not slower, but then over time, even an intermittent practice, even the intention of wanting to have a practice, over time, you'll start noticing changes, right? You start seeing these profoundly simple shifts in your normal operating pattern.

And I think that's one of the greatest things that can happen to a person. Absolutely, and it's not only, I mean, as you say, definitely it's a long road, actually it's a life long road. It's a road that you never get fully through or you master 100%. But at the same time, just like working out, when you start working out,

it doesn't need to be that six years later when you have the body of a Greek god, suddenly you feel good. There are moments when in your first week of working out after you get over the soreness, then it feels good. And your body, you haven't changed dramatically who you are. You haven't changed how you look, or how strong or healthy your body is.

But you can get an instant benefit, a taste of what it's like to live in a body that's moving in the direction of health. And so I think it's important to remember that the reward is not just after, okay, 10 years down the road, after lots and lots and lots of practice, you'll see the results.

That's when it gets deeper and deeper and deeper, but some superficial taste of it all. You can get pretty much right away. In this moving in the direction of health that you're talking about, whether it's spiritual health, physical health, this, I like to oversimplify this and think that at any given moment, all over the planet,

there are people who are moving in the direction of health, moving in the direction of open-heartedness, moving in the direction of being more compassionate, moving in the direction of balance, and then there's people who are actively moving in the other direction. There's people who are, and also, attempting to disrupt other people's progression

in the direction of love and happiness. Actively, it's true. So when you look at it that way, then just as a form of thought experiment, you've created two sides in an eternal battle that has been raging as long as there have been human beings, which is the amount of people who at any given moment are abusing themselves, abusing other people,

disrupting their families, disrupting their lives, physically trying to kill themselves, and all the people who are sitting down with their kids and being like, all right, all right, let's see if we can tune into this frequency of love today. Let's see if we can do it. Can we do it? Let's try.

We'll just try. We'll try. And so this is where I think the term jihad becomes incredibly useful. Because when you consider the fact that just that first step you take in the direction of balance, love, health, whatever you wanna call it,

God, if you wanna get spiritual or mystical or theistic, the moment you take that step, you have joined forces with an ocean of humans who are all on your side, who all want, who are all involved in the same project in different ways. And it's an invisible army, but they're out there. And I think you could take some comfort in that.

Any given time that you're like, to fucking tomorrow, man, I finally signed up with my goddamn trainer again. I totally fell off the working out wagon. I hurt myself, used that as an excuse to not exercise, gained a bunch of goddamn weight, and now I gotta go through the whole fucking thing again. Right? The whole fucking thing.

I gotta go meet with him. He's gonna look at me like, what the fuck happened? And I've gotta go through the whole goddamn thing again. But I take comfort in knowing that when I drive down there to do this shit, and when I go and meet with him, I am one of millions of other fatties who are all making that decision that,

God damn it, today I'm gonna overcome this fucking entropy. And you know what I mean? I think there's something that, I take a lot of comfort in that, knowing that I've become part of this invisible army of people who, even though we may fail, even though tomorrow night,

there's a high probability that I'm gonna have a fucking thick crust of gluten laden cheese pizza being shoved into my mouth by my traitorous hand. At least I'm trying, man. You know? I think that's all that matters. I love it. I love it.

No, you're right. You're absolutely right. Cause that's all you can ask for yourself. You know, you can't expect perfection. You can't expect to be always delivering the results you wish. But the one thing you can is just try again. Just get back on your feet and you got knocked down

and you get back down your feet. I think sometimes, for me in martial arts, I notice like whenever I obsess about outcome, that's when fear and worries and bad feelings increase. It's like, what if I don't deliver the way I was, what did I don't perform the way I wanted to? What if I don't win? What if I don't, you know, that kind of thing?

Whenever instead I forget about outcome and I focus on effort, on just going in and you know, collapse before you give up. Just give everything you got. I don't give a fuck how it's gonna turn out. That's out of your hands to some degree. You know, there's no full way to ensure. But what you can ensure is effort.

It's just put your heart and guts into it. Then it becomes so much, it takes away a lot of stress. It takes away a lot of that fear of not living up to expectations of what you wish you were. Because those expectations are based on usually measurable results, whereas effort is something else entirely. And the more I do that,

then the easier it is to get the results I want. And then when I don't, it's not as crushing because my whole sense of self wasn't wrapped up in the outcome. Right, yeah. And you know, results are fantastic. Sure. And a great reward.

But you know, this is one of my favorite Sharon Salzburg quotes, the healing is in the return. It's the practice is great. The regular daily meditation practice. My God, if the universe has graced you with this, you're so lucky. The Greek God five years into working out, fuck, what a hero.

It's amazing you've done it. But what's equally amazing is the moment that you push yourself out of your entropy and try one more time to pick up your bow and dive back into this incredible jihad that is at this very moment raging all over this planet. And man, it's glorious. It's glorious to do it.

Just that by itself is incredible. And if you die on the field of battle, if you fail in this endeavor, you're still a million times better than someone who never tried it at all. It's cliche, but it's true. Absolutely. When I think about in the context of like

mixed martial arts, the hero moments, the ones that truly inspire me, they are rarely the guys who's winning in dominating fashion. They are usually somebody who's losing the fight. Who's gonna lose the fight at the end. It's not that he's losing the fight and he comes back to rally up and win.

He's losing the fight and yet just show this crazy insane bravery and keep going forward in the face of defeat. That to me is just, that's what a hero is. Cause you know, everybody can go forward if they think that they can win. But what about the guy who keeps going forward in the face of near certain defeat?

That to me is where it's some real magic is taking place there. I agree a hundred percent, man. That's it. That is where the rubber hits the road. It's like fucking winning, okay, whatever. It's garish. I want you to win, great.

Like it's cool, but it's also a kind of embarrassing display. Like when someone's on someone's shoulders, their arms in the air, the metal or the belt or whatever the fucking primitive symbol of victory is draped upon their heroic arms and the crowd is screaming and it's a moment of true and pure absolute glory. That is fantastic.

But what you'll never see is that first moment. The 60 year old or the 70 year old lady with osteoporosis puts on her running shoes and her sweatpants and walks outside for the first time in a week and walks around the block. And what a victory that is. What an incredible victory that is. You'll never see that.

You'll never see and all those moments of victory are happening at every second all around the planet. At every second, just that moment. Because man, what joy is that? When you've pushed back the tentacles of laziness and the tentacles of fogginess and the tentacles of fear, just push them down and you go back out there again.

Ugh, it's beautiful. And it's a battle that every single one of us is waging every day, whether we're conscious of it or not, whether we're entering it, aware that that's what's going on or not. It is what's happening every single day to every single person who's alive.

Well, that being said, I'm gonna go play Fallout 4 and drink champagne. Damn. It's happened awesome. I wish I could join you right now. Mr. Bilelli, this has been incredibly inspirational. My heart is pounding. I feel excited and terrified.

I can think of five things that I've been putting off that I am now going to do. I owe it to you, my friend. You are a true teacher. Thank you for being on the show. Tell me how people can find your book, how people can find you, et cetera. If I, I'm gonna go into it right away,

but if I may, I was just thinking the same thing, like halfway through this discussion, I was like, man, I feel better than I did before. Not that I was having a bad day. I was having a good day, but I'm like just chatting with you and tossing these ideas and putting the focus on them and really letting that stuff sink in

is making me feel better about life. He's making me feel like, oh, shit, I'm gonna have a good day today. This is not gonna be just an okay day. I'm gonna make it, so it's, I love it though. It's a mutual thing. I walk out of this conversation feeling more empowered than I was an hour ago.

That's great, man. That's cool. Thank you, thank you, my man. But yeah, about all the good stuff. My name, DanielaBolelli.com. That's the gateway to everything else, to all the tweeters and the podcasts and the history on fire podcast,

Drunk and Taoist, new books, the not afraid book that came out, all of the good stuff. Not afraid, by the way. Next time we see, I need to get you a copy. It's sitting there waiting for you. Great. But yeah, that would be the easiest way

to then direct all the other stuff. Beautiful, man. Okay, cool, fantastic. All the links will be at dunkintrustle.com in the comments section of this podcast. Dude, this has been awesome. Thank you so much. Hare Krishna.

Thank you. Thanks for listening, everybody. And thanks to Casper.com for sponsoring this episode. You can go to casper.com, forward slash family hour and use offer code family hour to get $50 off your beautiful, brand new, stain-free mattress. Also, don't forget to use our Amazon portal.

But most importantly, don't forget to find a few flickering moments in your incredibly busy day to not do anything at all. See what happens. It's pretty cool. No need to drink the blood from your gums to be a hungry ghost to eat couch cushions or shovel pecan pie in your mouth

when the present moment is the sweetest couch cushion pie of all. I'll see you guys next time. Hare Krishna. I got what? The X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux.

X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux.

X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. X-Mux. Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now.

I'm dirty little angel. You can get Dirty Angel anywhere you get your music. Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. New album and tour date coming this summer.