Duncan Trussell Family Hour - SAM TRIPOLI!

Episode Date: February 20, 2013

Sam Tripoli, comedian and host of the naughty show, joins the DTFH. Duncan plays the most satanic song on earth.

Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. You can get Dirty Angel anywhere you get your music. Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. New album and tour date coming this summer. Hello, dear friends, and thank you for tuning in to the Duncan Trussell Family Hour. It is with great reservations that I play the following song. I consider it to be one of the most satanic anthems ever performed for human ears. It is a song that has within it a philosophy that if you follow it, it will drag your life into absolute and utter oblivion.

If you're superstitious, if you're super stoned, if there's any part of you that easily falls prey to demonic influences, then I recommend that you stop and just jump ahead to the interview part of the podcast. Because this song can infiltrate your being and crush your life. It can fill your brain with the maggots of little life, maggots hissing lies. It can fill your brain with maggots that lie and vomit more lying maggots that dance around the inner corridors of your brain, infecting every part of you with mediocrity. You've been warned. I will now play this evil anthem in three, two, one. Just thinkin' about tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow, till there's none.

When I'm stuck with the day that's gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say, Oh, this song will come out tomorrow, so you gotta hang on till tomorrow comes. That song is a recipe for destruction sung by an imp cast out by her parents because they wanted to be in the present moment. And all she would do is bellow out that siren song, inviting them to start worrying about what side of the rock they're on is facing the star it orbits around. Here's J. Krishnamurti's response to little orphan Annie. The future is now. We are the past. Right? All our memories which have been recorded in the brain, all that we have done, not only fifty years ago but yesterday, so the past is now. Right?

And what is now, if there is not a radical change, will be tomorrow, which is time. The future is therefore in the now. Right? So where is becoming then? You are following? Please, it's very fascinating, very serious. But if you are interested, if you really want to discover for yourself a radical, psychological, deep change, the change cannot have time. It must happen now. You are now. Listen to the Indian man. Don't listen to the singing orphan. The singing orphan will destroy you. If you listen to the singing orphan, you will end up sucked into a vortex where you're always waiting until tomorrow to make the big change.

The Indian man, J. Krishnamurti, the great sage and brilliant guru is saying, you have to do it this instant. Don't wait for tomorrow to come up to listen. He's saying, give up the past. The future is inside of you. The past is inside of you. You are a silkworm, but instead of silk, you make time. You make the future with every single action that you do. So he's giving us a reprieve from the past. It doesn't matter that you masturbated 15 times today. It doesn't matter that you said some shitty thing to whoever. He's saying, forget about all that and right now make the change through action. Did you say something shitty to someone that you actually love? Go tell them that you love them.

Did you smoke a pack of cigarettes today and there's only one left in the pack? Go put that one last cigarette underneath the sink. Do it now. Start fighting the war today against entropy. You might lose. We all lose the war against entropy, but it's the fight that matters. We can't get caught up in tomorrow and this little ape descendant red haired Satanist is telling us that we should be that is lying to us and saying that if the rock that gravity has trapped our meat bodies on rotates one more time to face the sun, everything's going to be fine. Well, she's a lying bitch. Abandon that philosophy. It doesn't matter how many times this thing rotates around if you're an asshole.

If you're an asshole, everything stinks. Doesn't matter what where the rock you're on is facing. In relation to the star, it happens to be stuck around. Make the change now. Don't listen to the orphan. Listen to Jay Krishnamurti. Hare Krishna. The Dunkin' Dressel Family Hour is brought to you by a t-shirt company that manufactures some of the softest t-shirts on Earth. And it's come about where, unfortunately, I have to give a warning in relation to this t-shirt company. These shirts are so soft, so incredibly soft that it's created a bit of a problem. It's not a big deal, but we have to say, if you are a mother and you have a child between the ages of zero and six months old, if you order one of these short design t-shirts you need to write on the baby in permanent marker,

this is my baby. Because what's been happening is the shirts are so soft that people have been confusing their babies with the shirts. They end up breastfeeding the shirts. The babies go without food. Nothing bad has happened to a baby, but they got hungrier than usual. Because the mother goes into this soft trance, as we all know when you wear something very soft, you can go into the trance of the ancients and journey down that dark pathway into the place where the Lord of the Forest plays his flute for you and you end up mating with the Pequie Queen. This is an incredible experience and one that I partake of every day. I do drink of the nectar of that great sweet queen. But if you're a mother, you need to be focusing on your baby for a little while. It doesn't mean you can't wear the shirt. Just don't breastfeed the shirt because the baby will get hungry. Now, why are these shirts so soft? This is an email I got from Pope Benedict XIV a few days ago.

The answer is, why are the shirts as soft as a baby? Well, because they're made of the softest thing on earth and that's baby skin. The folks over at Sure Design T-shirts have figured out a way to graft cells from the backs of bad babies and they use these cells and put it in a biochemical fungal dip, which causes baby skin to grow. No babies are hurt in the process. This is just pure unadulterated baby skin. I've seen pictures of the underground, plasmatic caves where the baby skin is hewn and it's incredible. Just stretches and stretches of fresh, sweet, smelling, clean baby skin. As the Sure Design T-shirts logo goes, there's nothing quite as soft as behind a baby's ear, so it's Sure Design T-shirts of which we wear. That's their saying and that's what they sing is they make these shirts and those sweet, sweet underground, plasmatic factories deep beneath the soils of Thailand, brewing baby skin so that we all can experience communion with the Lord of the Forest.

Sure Design T-shirts, you'll know what I'm talking about if you order one of these shirts. Go to SureDesignT-shirts.com. If you put my name in, you'll get 10% off. A tremendous and huge thank you to those of you who have been donating to the podcast. We've been getting some crazy donations over the last couple of weeks and I'm very thankful for you for that. Just please make sure that you specify your email. If you're going to send a mind-blowing donation, please make it easy for me to contact you to say thank you. You know who I'm talking to. Thank you. All of you have been supporting the podcast in the various ways that you can by going through our Amazon.com portal which is located at DuncanTrussell.com. Thank you too. If you're going to Amazon.com, think to yourself, did I go through DuncanTrussell's portal?

Buy those butt plugs but buy them after you've gone through the DTFH portal which is located at DuncanTrussell.com. They give us a very small percentage. It costs you nothing. There's another great way you can support this podcast. We are sponsored by Audible. Audible creates amazing audiobooks so if you happen to live next to a serial killer and the sound of his or her victim screams or keeping you up all night, there's an easy solution where you don't have to involve the authorities. All you have to do is go to Audible and sign up for trial membership. Audibletrial.com forward slash family hour and download a happy audiobook so that when those screams and howls and guttural beggings and moans and scratchings and the sound of fingernails breaking off in an underground well or the sound of heads being smacked hopelessly against bars as the

masked pig-faced man approaches with a knife come echoing into your apartment. You can just put those earbuds in and listen to an audiobook being read by a professional storyteller so you don't have to listen to your neighbors die. Go to audibletrial.com forward slash family hour. They send us 15 bucks every time you do this. So if you've been putting off doing this, go ahead and do it because I don't know how much longer I'm going to be doing this thing with Audible. Probably another 17 years. But don't put it off. Why not just go do it? You have nothing to lose. If you don't want to membership at Audible, you can cancel and they're kind enough to give you your audiobook. And those things last forever. Some of these audiobooks are 17 hours. It's 17 hours of not having to hear people die. Audibletrial.com forward slash family hour. Amazon.

And we have a lot of awesome posters, limited edition t-shirts and stickers at DuncanTrustle.com. That's another cool way that you can support the podcast by buying some of our merch. There's also a way you can support the podcast without having to buy anything through Amazon or sign up for anything. You can just go to DuncanTrustle.com and join the forum and say hello to some of the people who post there. We get a lot of interesting posts on that forum and before I get going with this podcast, I'd like to read one of them to you. Anyone else piss in the sink? I started a practice a month or so ago and I must admit I found it delightful. The advantages are numerous. In addition to the water saved, no toilet splashes or piss hitting water noise,

no missing the bowl and hitting the rim, no need to even lift up the seat. I've left the actual commode for number two, you know, poopies. And since urine comes out sterile, a quick turn of the faucet leaves everything pristine. Before you dismiss this practice as barbarian, give it the old college trot. In no time, you two will join the ranks of the proud, handsome sink pissers. A classic post from Kula Shaker, one of the members of the DuncanTrustle family, our forum. If you've pissed in the sinker, if you would like to continue that thread, why not go to DuncanTrustle.com, join the forum, get on on a conversation. We also have a Minecraft server that I just found out.

There are secret celebrities that hang out in that Minecraft server. From what I've heard on the wind, whispered by the Moon Caterpillar. Go, DuncanTrustle.com, join the forum and please come see me live. If you live on the East Coast, I'm going to be doing a bunch of dates. I'm performing in Atlanta at the Laughing Skull. I'm going to be at the Knitting Factory in New York. I'm going to be in Virginia. I'm going to be in Boston. I'm going to be in Philadelphia. I'm going to be in a lot of places in between. So go to DuncanTrustle.com and check out the dates.

All right, let's do this podcast. Sam Tripoli is today's guest. He is a brilliantly funny comedian, and he's also the host and producer of a podcast and a live show called The Naughty Show, which you can check out by going to SamTripoli.com. The Naughty Show is a hilarious comedy show. Jason Tebow is also on that show. Brian Redban is on that show, and also the show is often frequented by world-class porn stars. It's a hilarious mix. It's actually a very, very funny show, and it will cause you to redefine your idea of porn stars and porn in general.

And we talked about that during this interview. It was really quite enlightening. I love Sam Tripoli. He's just one of the most unique people ever, and he's fearless and inspirational, and this podcast really got me thinking about a lot of cool stuff. So please, everybody, sit back, relax, sit down. You just should coat Sam Tripoli with as many blasts of your psychic semen as you can. Really soak him down. Drench him. Drench him like a Colombian cocktail prince. Really let him feel the blast.

Everyone, please welcome to the Dunkin' Trussell Family Hour my friend, comedian, Sam Tripoli. It's the Dunkin' Trussell Family Hour. Sam Tripoli. You know, man, you basically, like, found this neat... You're the porn comedian. Yeah, I guess. I never started out to be that, but it just kind of... Let me tell you something, Dunkin'. Let's say you're protesting the world banks, right? Yes.

And you have 10,000 people show up to your protest, and four of them are porn stars? Yes. The news will all be about how porn stars are protesting the world bank. Yes. There's just something about these chicks that people, they get excited. They just want to see, they either love them to death or hate them to death, and they have an opinion on them, and they want to see them. Yes.

And when you do something, because like I do this naughty show, which, you know, I've asked you to get in, and when we do it in a different place, of course, you'll be able to do it. You know, like the porn star is just one part of this humongous thing that this naughty show is, but yet that's what everybody talks about. Well, the name is the naughty show. You give out sex toys. Yeah. You're sponsored by Flashlight. Yeah.

The show is, I told just a whole area show. I've been to the show. I've went to the podcast festival is on the show, and it is funny, and it is more than... You are awesome. Thank you. But it is more than like talking about sex, but because of your, so you are embedded into the porn star community. Well, yeah, I will accept that answer. How many porn star friends do you have?

I have tons. Countless. Yes. As many as comedians. I, it's up there. So you're, you're, it's the sex industry. I just enjoy the world of sexuality, and I just enjoy discovering what people are into and like why they're into that, and how'd you get into that, and what gets you off, and just all that different stuff that I think is like real.

Yeah. Like I think that's, that nobody talks about. No one looks at it without judging it, and just is like kind of like, okay, you're into this, you like to get choked and spit on. What is that about? Right. And how'd you get into that, and when did that happen the first time? Yeah.

How'd that make you feel, like I love to explore that stuff without making it some lowbrow stupid, like kind of conversation that like television tends to do. Like they're just a bunch of tits jumping around and some guy who's just collecting a check right and some lowbrow, lowbrow stupid kind of dick joke when it's like, let's really take a look at this thing and let's wire you into that. Like with the exception of like pedophilia. Yes. I'm pretty much going to be open to what you're saying. You're not judging people, and that brings something at that probably like creates a situation where,

because that's a, that's part of being a porn star is, is porn stars are interesting in that they, but they're immediately ostracized and shut for their job. They're shoved into this category of society. Right. They're shunned essentially. There is a, there's a large, it's almost what we were just talking about. You know, it's like, you're going to go on something. 3% are going to like you.

97% aren't going to like you. But those 3% love you. Same things with these girls. They got a small percentage of the population that is infatuated with them. And it's just, it's, I, I, dude, I'll tell you, I say this a thousand times. You cannot tell the, if I listed all the characteristics of a, of a stand up comic and all the characteristics of an adult film star, and I didn't label them and I had made you guess which ones, which you'd have a really hard time. What are the characteristics?

Kind of anti authority, little cuckoo in the head, have issues from their childhood, you know, doesn't want a lot of responsibility, wants as much money as possible for as little work as possible. I mean, we could just go down the whole list. Yes. Yeah. And I've heard that before. I strange, like I have, I have friends with one porn star, a gay porn star named Connor Habib, who's fucking a brilliant essayist and a philosopher, really cool guy.

But I'm not, I'm not friends with it. Like all my, like you and red band or like your friends with these girls, but I don't know. I don't know. I guess I kind of know Dana Dermond. Yeah. But if you met them and you talk to them, they would be the most normal people you would ever meet. They're not, it's not like, Oh my God, I'm going on some cock crazy fest every time you hang out with them. They really are.

There's just a lot of them. This is just business decisions. This is their art. That's their art as, as crazy as that sounds. Yeah. And I'm not saying it's for everybody. You know, I'm just saying that's just what they do. I mean, I could introduce you to a ton of porn stars.

You'd be like, that chick is cool as shit. It's a, it's, I mean, it's like with other arts, it's, it's, it is definitely sex is a form of self-expression. Yes. No question about it. Right. Comedy is a form of self-expression. Sex is definitely a form of self-expression that has within it its own personality. Yeah.

No one fucks the same way. Everyone fucks in a different way. It's like a snowflake. It's like a fuck, a fuckflake. It really is like a fuckflake. Everyone has fucks their own way. And porn stars are people who have refined that mode of self-expression so that you could even say porn stars have their own voice. Couldn't you?

100%. And they're, they're specialized in certain things. Like there's genres of comedy. There's genres of porn stars. Give me an example of these genres. Oh, there's like SM. There's like, I mean, there's this, this one website. I'm dying to interview these guys from kink.com.

They're such interesting people. It's almost, they've created, they have this humongous building in San Francisco. And there's like this, supposedly the top level is where like only the masters make it to that. They have this like dom, sub like lifestyle. That's insane. Is it a dungeon? It's a dungeon. It's everything dude.

They learn all aspects of just mastering sexuality. And it's just the stuff that they put out is so interesting. It's just an observational artistic point of view. It's like, it's not like this, what they call like a gonzo porn, which is get a camera and just do some weird shit and put it out. Like really like almost like a bad YouTube videos. Yeah. This is like well written, thought out, like fantasy pornography. And it's just such an interesting thing because like, I'm, you know, we just did a really big gay naughty show.

400 gay dudes in the main room at the comedy store. Most interesting dynamic ever, just how they interact and all that stuff. Cause it's almost like, I always said like weed is its own demographic. Like you got, you know, black comedy, Latino weed comedy. Yeah, for sure. Gay comedy is its own thing. It's its own culture and its own thing. I want to do a whole naughty show based on S and M because I think it's way bigger than anyone even understands.

Oh, it's huge. I had, I got whipped by a dominatrix on this show. Mistress Justine Cross, you should have her on. She's awesome. Yeah. I went to the dungeon to get whipped by her because I thought maybe I'd be into it. I was kind of hoping I would be, you know, like, oh fuck yeah, this is going to be like a thing. But I wasn't really.

I'm not in the pain, bro. I want my sex to feel good. But it's the, it's not pain. You know, I think that's a common misconception. Misconception about S and M as people think it's about pain when early it's about power dynamics. That's, that's nothing truer has ever been said. That's 100% what it's about. And if you talk to a lot of these SM girls, like they'll tell you like they get the richest guys out there.

These super alpha male power brokers. Yeah. And they just want to be put in their place and just treated like shit because it's a vacation from responsibility. And it's, it's like at the deepest level because like sex is like, as far as the human gob stopper goes, sex is like pretty several cores down in there. Right. So if you can experience that kind of relief of any kind of responsibility, it's also kind of lazy. Like, you know what I mean? Like being submissive in a way.

Well, there is something that they've been told like they don't want to think. They just want to be told what to do. They just want to be pleasure. Because you guys, these guys are like power brokers. These guys are running, they're CEOs of Fortune 500 company. Every minute that at work, like million dollar decisions are being made. Life's are, you know, lives and careers are made by one guy's thought. And he doesn't want, you know, he wants to go to this place and for an hour, he has no, no say in what's going to happen to him.

Yeah. Complete surrender. Complete submission. Surrender. And it's like, man, we are in such an interesting time in the world of sexuality right now in this country. Like, you know, feminism's been around forever, the sexual revolution. But right now we're really seeing where it's like the age of where women can really do whatever they want and not be judged at all. Right.

And it's a crazy time. You know, it's like, and like what women are into, like, I, I, you know, we have a lot of women on our show and just so many of them are into this kind of like that's really rough sex. It's like such an interesting thing. And the kind of fantasies they have, which go against everything that you hear in mainstream media and pop culture and just it's, it's such fantasies like what? Like, I mean, like, and of course, no means no, but you'd be amazed at how many girls have like rape fantasies. It's like, I have them on all the time and they just, they, they always, that's the one thing I guarantee. If I ask a girl, what's your fantasy? I don't know.

Like really, what are you into? They'll, they'll say rape fantasy. And obviously everything's got to be agreed upon and no means no, you know. Yes. So, but there's just something about like somebody who wants you so badly that they just can't stop. You know what it is, man? My theory on rape fantasies is that women have been taught from the moment that they become sexual, that to have sex is, is like a bad transaction for them. Like there's kind of that business deal, bad business deal, no matter what, like, because it's the classic thing.

The girl has sex all the time. What do we call her? Well, you know, here's the whole thing. Like that's kind of changing. But, but for most people that's what they came. The slut, the whore. The girl in high school who fucked all the guys was always looked down on. It's like something disgusting now.

The, this is, you know, if you're at that book, Sex at Dawn, Dr. Chris. Yes, I have read that. So that book, you know, one of the, one of the things Chris Ryan says, which I like is that, you know, women are as sexual as men. Right. They're as, they have the exact same sex drive as men do. But women have been taught it's bad to have a sex drive. So the rape fantasy is something where you, you get to drop the aspect of shame that women, I think, have more of a feeling of shame when they have sex than men do. Well, I mean, I think a lot of the whole thing with the, you know, women being as, you know, as a promiscuous as men, I think the, the, the biggest fear and it's a will never change.

And it's on the most primal level that you'll find that every, every form of animal and species is the ultimate betrayal is raising a child, thinking it's yours and it's not. Right. That's the ultimate. It's, it goes, it's as primal as anything out there. It's as primal as having to eat, breathe, drink water. Yeah. And you know, because the whole theory is that we are just vessels for our DNA to be passed on. Yes.

That's why a man, you know, goes out and he tries to become as successful as he can so he can gain as much resources as possible. And, you know, the thought of spending your resources on offspring that isn't yours is the ultimate, you know, portrayal. So the whole thing was like the way to make sure the girl isn't cheating on you is that she only has sex with you and nobody else. Yes. Right. And that's where a lot of that comes from. Yeah. And that's the goddamn Christian shitting all over another fun thing.

You know, he's got ruined something, right? They ruin everything. Dude, they like the, you know, this is like Chris Ryan's in that book. He talks about the reason the cock shaped like a plunger is because it creates a suction effect to pull out your competitor's jizz from the vagina. Really? Yeah. The implication being that like it wasn't just like when a woman, when a woman was having sex, she was having sex with like a lot of guys. It wasn't just one guy.

Oh yeah. That's why they moan real loud to allow everybody. Yes. Some and somebody else. So this was a shared experience among like, it was a, you know, Terrence McKenna talks about this in just the most insanely beautiful way, which is like, imagine this like primordial past where there's no such thing as jealousy. There's no such thing as ownership. We're all sort of springing up out of the earth, eating psychedelic mushrooms and having these insane orgies at night in the middle of the forest, you know, tripping out and just merging with each other's bodies. And through that ritualistic sex, that's how children are born.

Does anyone know who the fucking baby who owns the baby? No, no, no, you're right. No one cares. The baby like spring out of the tribe. The baby's spring from this insane, weird moaning primordial ritual that happens every once in a while. Who the fuck knows whose kid it is? Then it's like the goddamn ownership happens. The Christians come.

The Christians are just a representation of the Roman Empire, of course. It's not, you know, the Roman, the whole story of modern day Christianity is constant. The Sun God people created put what's in the Bible. It's, you know, so it's such an interesting thing. The whole, you know, especially now it's like to be like super religious and believe you can't do all this. It's like we've seen through time that these taboo like acts really don't result in anything negative or bad. All this stuff that, you know, oh, if you do this, you're going to burn in hell. Over time we've seen none of that ever happens.

I don't understand the notion of like condemning someone based on a sexual lifestyle that they live. It makes no fucking sense. I mean, I do this joke about like Canada, right? Yeah. Look at Canada. Anything we outlaw in America, they instantly green light up there. Yeah. Anything we're like, no, we can't do that. God hates that.

Canada's like, whew, it's odd like Szechuan. And then, you know, nothing bad happens in Canada. They're the nicest people ever. Yeah. God, you, the shit that's legal in Canada, it should be fire and brimstone all over. Amsterdam should be just nothing but lightning bolts. Meteors. Yeah.

Should just be fire. The place should be, if any, this is true. Demons springing out of the earth, dragging people down the hell. If you could take a step back from religion and look at it without emotion and you see like all these taboos, what you realize is they basically outlawed anything that doesn't create more of them. Yeah. Yes.

Yes. Yes, man. It's a butt fucking jerking off, banging your buddy, you know, another dude. All those are taboo because they don't put out more of us. They don't make more. Yeah. But yeah, you can fuck a million chicks. The only rule is don't fuck your buddy's wife.

Right. Don't, that's in, that's in, that's God put that in one of the commandments. Yeah. That shall not, what is it? That shall not cover that neighbor's wife. But here's the thing. I think the rule is she can't cheat on you, but you can cheat on her. That's the rule.

If you really break it down, she can, the rule is like, don't have an affair. That's meaning a woman can cheat on her man. Yeah. This is, now this is all, all of this is like a, all of this is, I think, I think what you're kind of talking about is like, it seems like you think there's like another sexual revolution happening. I think right now there's a huge sexual revolution happening or at least just in this country. And maybe we're just getting to the point where Europe is kind of like, you know, you

just got to think about Europe's been around forever. They've been through all this crazy shit. You know, all this religious armies, you know, oppressing people. Now they're kind of at the place where it's like, everything is just very open over there. They're very open with their sexuality. They don't overthink anything. And then you, you're looking at this country where the places are, are the most like fucking oppressive.

There's like the weirdest sex stories come out like Florida. It's this very red state. You know, Utah, it's like these weird oppressions happen all through the South, you know, like you can't do this. Then they end up doing weird ass shit because they're so oppressed. You don't, you don't seem like you have any feelings of guilt attached to your sexuality at all. I don't know why you should.

I mean, unless, you know, unless you're hurting, hurting other feelings. A lot of people do. Like you, you, when you're being raised, you know, when you're raised, a lot of people are raised in very religious families. And if you're raising a very fundamentalist family, then you're taught that the human body is filthy. The body is dirty. The body is something you cover up and that sex is kind of a byproduct of this.

And you see this in a lot of different religions. People who wear sheets over their bodies when they have sex, very strict rules about when to have sex, how to have sex. So a lot of people are, I think this is something a lot of people struggle with. Like there's guilt attached to it. Like, man, I feel guilty if I jerk off to porn too much. Oh yeah. I mean, and I'm not telling you, I'm a master of, of my sexuality.

I've dealt with like, uh, sex addicts, addictions and stuff like that. But to me that dealt with sex addiction. Yes. Yourself personally. Yeah. Pornography addiction. Yeah. I mean, but that, to me, that doesn't mean like everything's wrong.

I haven't had the willpower to use it or do it in a responsible fashion that, you know, sometimes I got really like into it, you know, what do you mean, what do you mean really into it? Like, I mean, there were times where I was like, when I was partying, I was cranking out, like they say if you do something a thousand times at your master, I would have my black belt doctrine in pornography many years ago. You see, you would just sit in front of the computer looking at porn. Yeah.

There were times. How, what's the longest stretch of time you ever looked at porn? Like a day. All day long, just looking at porn. And how many times would you masturbate during that time? Uh, well, you know, I was partying a lot at that time. So the whole time. So you, the whole time you'd just be jerking off.

Yeah. Well, how do you do that? How do you keep that up? Well, again, man, it goes back to, uh, my, you know, addictions. I've had addictions across everything, you know, that I've, uh, just, I'm a guy who just, you know, when he enjoys something, he does it. And then, you know, I don't think, like to me, like, I don't think drugs should, uh, if you get busted with drugs, I don't think you should have to go to jail.

I think it should be a treatment thing. I don't think it, you know, it's something where it's a crime being committed. If you steal something to get money for drugs, that's a whole different thing. So I mean, I just, because something you end up overindulging does not mean it's a crime for me. And you know, I've had some weird kind, you know, I've had problems with, uh, drugs, alcohol, and, uh, sex addiction. Right.

What do you, what do you think was the most powerful addiction of those three? Well, the drugs and the sex addiction go hand in hand. You know, I've always said my superpower was I could fuck on Coke, you know, which a lot of people never could do. And so hardcore. Yeah. Oh yeah. That was a, that was, there was a time that's what I did.

So you would snort cocaine and look at porn. Yeah. That's hardcore. So you would be in your house with like an eight ball. Yeah. Doing blow. Yeah. Watching pornography.

There was a time. And you're hitting this place. Yeah. There's like a level that you're hitting when, when, when those two things are combining, I imagine that is so extra dimensional. Like you're, you're raising your. You're going for it. You're going for it.

You're hitting this. You're exploring. You just, it's just a combination that just, is just kind of crazy. And is that, what do you, that, the reason. That's easier. Is it were you doing using pornography instead of like fucking girls? Because it's no, I was doing both. So you're doing, so you're doing both.

I, you know, as I get a little older, the sex drive slows down a little bit. But like, man, I, I enjoyed women and I enjoyed it all. Dude, I, I mean, I like a lot of people call me dirty comic, but I'm just honest on stage with everything that I talk about and just, I just like that, man. I loved it. I love the party. I mean, I don't want you to think like I just get Coke and then I'd go home and I would just be like, turn on a computer door.

It was just a crazy, you know, I hate to say it, crazy fun time I was in. It was fun. That led to a very destructive end. And, you know, and I, you know, and the reason I'm saying this is like, I don't know if anyone's listening out there that could have that problem, you know, and that, you know, they're going through it, but I went through that shit, man. And I got self-destructive. I fucked up a lot of part of my life, but now I'm kind of back.

And it was going pretty good. You know, I mean, like, but that time was a crazy, fun time. Well, yeah, I mean, that is a, I mean, come on, man. It's like you, but you, this is the festival, you know, the festival of Dionysus. You know about this. This is like, well, it's the idea is that what happens is you. If you really go for it and see this is the, there used to be ritualized ways of going for it.

It wasn't like now when people go for it, it's not ritualized, but you still have a sacrament, you still have, you're still invoking a spirit. It's just you're doing it instinctually rather than through this ritualistic way. But the idea was you would allow the spirit of wine, the spirit of celebration or the spirit of like that exuberant losing yourself to possess your body. And then when that thing came into you, you would just, that would be the, that, that possession. You see it in voodoo rituals where like their eyes go back in their head and

they're not them anymore. And they'll be, they'll fuck in those states, right? Yeah. So the spirit comes into your life. You, it's a real thing, man. You, the, the, the sights that you're seeing are, you're almost peering into heaven or something. You're looking into through this keyhole into this temporary for you.

Yes. Yes. And you can't fucking stay there, unfortunately. And, uh, and so the end result is your physical body begins to decay. And your life in this dimension begins to collapse around you. Every time you go into this alternate sex drug dimension, it's really quite unfortunate because, you know, ideally we would figure out a way to just always be in that state.

Well, I've always been a guy who goes all in all the time on, you know, whatever I'm doing. I mean, at one time I was addicted to buying domain names. I couldn't, I couldn't stop buying domain names. I would just every day just thinking of a domain name acting up. That's just how I am. I'm, it's like all in all the time. I could see you like doing lines of blow buying domain names.

That's right. It's just like how I am, man. And there was a time, you know, I'm just honest about it because I, you know, I'm just, I just want people to know that, you know, they're not alone and you can work through it, man. And it, it doesn't define you. And it was something you went through and you can get better. And that's where I'm at right now.

God damn it. It's, see, this is the thing like, this is the beauty of honesty is it's like every time you expose yourself at that level and you don't have the, any shame going along with it. This is a beautiful thing because it makes people around you feel more relaxed. It makes people feel like, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not alone here. And you know, it's like the naughty show myself. It's not just sex.

It's just like, I like to be real. I like to talk real shit that's really going on. You know, I, you know, I've always said people, uh, people want you to be honest until you, until you start getting really honest. You know what I'm saying? They don't, they say they want honesty, but they really don't. Like I want, I want, I want to go into that honest world about what is going on. Let's not dance around it.

You know, you see it in comedy a lot where these comics are killing, but they're really just talking about things we all already agree upon. Yes. And they're like, oh, that's great. You know, because you're not taking chances. And this whole notion that being offended is the worst thing ever is like this. It's like this giant sin and it's almost a felony. If somebody's, if you offend me, you know what I'm saying?

Oh, I'm offended. Oh, that's so angry. Why? Why? Why can we not agree? Why can I have a point? You disagree with me and hear out my point. And if you don't like it, move the fuck on.

Don't like, don't, don't come see my next show. Don't buy my album. But why is it if I'm offending you because I'm being honest on stage? You know, is this the end of the fucking world? I've only seen you have good sets. I wish I've never seen like I mean that. I've never seen you not crush. Well, I'm a guy who's had, you know, I could be my worst nightmare.

My own worst nightmare. I was having a conversation with Chris Delia the other day. He was talking about how he was listening to Bill Burr. Yes. And like, he's followed Bill Burr a thousand times and done really well. But this set was like Bill was killing and he got in his head and he just went up there and crushed it. And I used to be that guy who would overthink everything.

And then just now is just go up. And if you like me, you like me. If you don't, you don't. And I got a million tools in the toolbox to get you on my side. And, you know, I mean, like you remember, you know, I've always said, I'm so thankful to you. You came up with a way to get me into the comedy store, which, you know, changed my life.

And I would follow dice every day for a year, literally every day for a year. I get about four spots a week. And this is when dice was in town a lot and he would bump me and do an hour. And then you just got to find a way to survive. Yeah. And, you know, Comedy Central now is very interesting because if you're watching it, they're doing a lot of darker, dirtier shit. They're following kind of FX lead where they're going, which to me, I'm

saying dark, dirtier, I'm calling it real. I mean, they're doing real stuff that you see in real life. They're not pulling any punches. And now I'm starting to see in the crowds, they're a lot more open to what I'm saying instead of this knee jerk, organ rejection of like these buzzwords that they hear, they're like automatically get offended. Yeah. Now they're like, oh, okay, I'm going to see where this goes.

And it's completely the dynamic has changed and it's so fun to watch. Yeah, you're, yes, the dynamic is shifting right now. And it's definitely, it seems like the shift is a shift from phoniness into people articulating as honestly as they can, their own experience of reality. And that's a, that's a brand new thing because the, the, uh, it used to be, if you were a celebrity, just the slightest revelation about your personal life would create what was called a scandal at the time. And that could destroy you.

That could destroy your, your ability to work as a TV actor, whatever. If it just came out, if it came out that you'd had anal sex with a stewardess or something, that could crush you. Right. So people had to hide it. Like, you know, I've heard that, like, I saw some, you know, what I feel is like there was a time where you could do whatever you want and no one talked about it.

Yes. There was this kind of like, if you were a celebrity, you were kind of like, there was a little bit of respect that this personal life is kind of your own thing, like Frank Sinatra. Yes. I mean, the, the shit that guy used to do, no one ever reported on it because he was blue eyes and you showed him that respect. And you know, if you look at comedy back when it first started, Sam

Kenneson, uh, uh, a dice, even, uh, Bill Hicks, it was a very raw kind of comedy because nobody knew what kind of standup was at the time. Yeah. And it was like, they couldn't build comedy clubs fast enough. Crowds didn't know what was going on and they would just come see these guys come up and say some crazy ass shit. And then like kind of right around, uh, and I could tell when art change was when Britney Spears made this cover of Rolling Stone, that in my mind, I'm

like, I remember being young going, whoa, this is a little different. Something's changed. And from there it kind of came corporate where the corporate people, you know, all the corporations were controlling the message and it got really, really safe. Yes. Totally. And it was like, you didn't go, you know, everybody wanted to be Seinfeld,

who is a great comic, but that's him. He, he's doing him and you're asking everyone to be him and you just can't do that. So then it got really tight and now we're in this magical place of if you're good enough and you got some crazy enough, you can get a little following going. Yes. Yeah. But it, yeah, it's still not going to be sanctioned by the networks generally.

Like they're still like looking for, this is the, I've been thinking about this lately, sort of like the predicament that the networks are in, which is like the predicament, all the television networks are in, is that they have to appeal to the median because the median has the most number of people in it. You don't want to apply to the most dumb people because there's less, most dumb people than there are average people. And you certainly don't want to apply to appeal the smartest people because there's less of them.

You want to apply, you want to, you have to appeal to the average. And the reason you have to appeal to the average is because you're selling advertisements and the advertisements want you to have the most number of viewers to justify paying the crazy amount of money they're paying for their fucking advertisements. Right. So if something comes to you, like for example, you would never, ever want to represent Vincent van Gogh, a few are a TV network.

You never want that. Right. Like first of all, he wasn't, no one even knew what the fuck he was until way after he killed himself, but you would want someone like Vincent. Which I think is my career trajectory. You're not going to kill it. No, no, no. You're not going to kill yourself.

And you know, you're, you'll see everything's shifting. But the, my point is the predicament of the networks is they don't want, they, they don't want Bill Hicks, but they want someone like Bill Hicks. They want Bill Hicks light. Yes. They want someone who's going to appeal to the most number of people. And the most number of people is always the least remarkable amount of people. And so what's been happening up until the, this awesome new, uh, the Netflix

and podcasts and the ability for people to access their own content through secondary ways, other than the networks is that, uh, the networks have been creating these stars, but the stars are always safe. Well, what, what, what has happened though, and I always believe this is what the real point of reality television was, is that it's about getting rid of talent because you got to deal with talent, whereas you just make pretty people famous. You replace them with pretty people. Yes.

People get an attitude. You're out. Here's another pretty person. You also, what sells reality shows is this self-destructiveness. Like that because self-destructiveness, it's not like just being trainwrecks of talent. Yes. Because it's like what they would like about Vincent Van Gogh.

Yeah, it's not as painting. You can cut your air off somewhere during the show. They'd love that. They'd love it. They condemn it, but they would put it out pain as much as you want. But can you just cut your fucking ear off? That's what they like because that, and so there's people who imitate that. But yeah, man.

So you end up, what, what ended up happening for all of our lives is unless you were lucky enough and you knew people who may be like, Hey, listen to this shit's fucking Bill Hicks, it's incredible. Or maybe like you would see him for four minutes on TV or something. But unless you got lucky enough, you were being exposed to like Jay Leno. Yeah. What's safer than Jay Leno? Yeah.

Jay Leno is like a talking jam sandwich. Yeah. There's nothing safer. There's nothing just more in the middle of like grandma's apple pie. Just doing jokes. Yeah. Just as safe as you can get. He's there is nothing.

And if he does get a little edgy, it's just the, it's like edgy in the way that like when you're, I totally agree with that, man. It's so funny and I can understand the point of that, but I don't understand why people don't want to be moved either. Like I'm like nothing would drive me crazier than when I spend $10 or $15 now to see a movie and it's something I think I could do by myself. You know, if I could write a script like that, I want someone to come in there and just rock me and I can be, it can make me angry, man.

I don't know one that became a thing where I got a little fucking upset about what I've seen, why did that become something that's so bad? Yeah. Why can't I move you? Why can't I get you a little enraged? Bring it back. And you can, but it's not going to appeal to the, the median and the, the drive behind major movies and major TV shows is not to move people.

The drive is to make money. Yes. That's it. And the way that you make money is to appeal to the most number of people. So many people's possible. So what you'll always get in the mainstream from now until infinity is this diluted version of truth. But, but what's happening is we're getting micro markets where people are

like, which is what you're doing, which is what any, like podcasting or anything is appealing to a demographic that TV could give a fuck about anyway. Right. They're like, who cares? We don't, we don't, we don't care if you're podcast. Oh, you're getting 40,000 downloads an episode. Wow. That's great.

We get billions, billions of billions, you know what I mean? So that, so they don't even fucking care, even think about it. They're just desperately trying to think of a way to print these things that are just the right amount of edgy, just the right amount of symmetrical, pump that shit out. And that used to be a satanic fucking thing because what it ended up doing is it ended up teaching the world that what was normal was this watered down, safe, yapping jam sandwich.

Yeah, that is not normal. No, 100%. That's just fucking, that's just a shill. That's a, that's a lure that some network has thrown into the waters of television, desperately trying to catch green fish out of the pockets of bored geriatrics. Yeah, it is, but that's, you know, Jay Leno's like a big fat fucking big fat bobber out in the middle of the sea, just trying to catch.

Catch as many deadly as catch, just carp, not even going for weird, deep fish down in the sand and completely agree with you. So, so yeah, so man, I think the shift that you're talking about is people have access or getting more and more access to people like you. They're getting more and more access to people who are, who are like, have absolutely zero inhibitions about saying in front of the world. Yeah, at one point I would watch porn all day while I was doing cocaine. Yeah, that's beautiful.

That's what, hey, well, it's my story, man. The biggest thing is like, I don't, I don't want anyone to think that I think you should be defined by your sexuality. I'm really not for that. Like whenever like a TMZ gets mad, somebody, because they won't admit they're gay, I don't think you should have to come out that you're into something. You should just be okay with that's what I'm into. Yeah.

And you're not alone, that there's other people into that shit. I don't think your sexuality should define you. I just think it's if you're in the weird shit or whatever it will say weird, not normal, that you're not alone. Man, the thing with weird shit and, and, and I, like God knows, I've done some weird fucking shit sexually, but like the thing about weird shit is it's all, it's like, I think you think I'm too in my head, man, because like whenever I have sex or like do some weird, really crazy fucking kinky thing, it's just

like, it's not to my head. It's just this like ephemeral blip, you know, it's this thing suddenly in my life, like, wow, here's a person standing in front of me and I have my belt around her neck. I've collared her. I'm probably going to spank her. And, and then like, there's that moment that's happening. There's the ephemeral moment of happiness, which is like, well, this is fucking cool.

That thing's cool. You're, wow, this fucking cool. You get lost in the moment of that. Yes. You fall into the thing. You're magnetized into the thing. And for maybe like the hour, however long the experience is, this thing happens anywhere from two minutes to an hour.

Yeah. When I said an hour in my mind, I'm like, for that, that includes stretching and tea for that six minutes. Send me a couple of emails. I was like, yeah, I'm glad you picked up an hour. What am I fucking Lance Armstrong for like the three minutes that the event is taking place? Right.

There's like this ephemeral, beautiful moment, but then it's gone. And all that goddamn energy it took to get to that fucking moment. Right. You know what I mean? You went to see the master. Well, that's anything, the Super Bowl, it's this build up and then it's over. And then it's like, okay, what now? Christmas, anything's like that.

The biggest thing is you just can't make it everything. Right. I just don't think you should define you. And I just don't think that you should feel ashamed of what you're into. Right. I just, I can't stand when someone in the news loses their job because they like some weird shit in the bedroom. Like, it makes no sense to me when somebody gets fired for being

busted doing something weird. Sexually. Sexually. Yes. As long as it's with consenting adults, well, first, first of all, man, let's take a real honest look at sex. It's already weird. Yeah.

Like think about sex itself. Do you think anything beyond just trying to conceive children is that is that's primal, right? That's that's what's weirder than trying to conceive children. You want to talk about fucking kinky. How about trying to spray that white shit on the eggs to grow a baby? That's weird, dude. That's fucking weird.

You're trying to make life. There's no way to make sex normal because sex is weird. Sex is weird. It's weird. You're dealing with your fucking crazy. You're dealing with your crazy body. You're dealing with your, your, your, your elongated blood and gorge member blasting into a self-secreting tunnel in the middle of

some woman's legs who's making strange primordial guttural moans in the dark. You've turned the light off because you're ashamed of your body probably and you're fucking humping in your head. You're like, oh, Jesus Christ, don't come, don't come, don't come. The whole time you're like weird and freaked out and maybe she thinks that this is some like, you know, that because of this, it means a whole lot of other things and you think it means things and then you got to go get a fucking. You don't know if you've got AIDS now or if there's, there's so many crazy

things that happened from fucking already. Yeah. And that's just missionary position. You know what I mean? 100% it's already weird. So yeah, when someone's like, oh my God, he likes butt plugs. So what? So what?

It doesn't get weirder. Yeah, I'm with you on that. That's my whole point. It's like, so what? The guy likes butt plugs. Who cares? Doesn't mean he can't be a great realtor. Do you know what I'm saying?

You're like, Hey, man, I just found my realtor loves butt plugs in his ass. I can't work with why. Who cares? He's defiled. He's defiled. The Satan's gotten into it. Now I'll tell you this, man, I have gone to SNM events. I've been on LSD watching men get whipped.

I've seen it. I've seen it. I felt the vibe, the fucking SNM vibe. I know what it is. I like it. But the shocking thing is that if you go to a fundamentalist Christian church, I'm talking the homophobes, the right wing fucking Phelps family style snake handling fucking homophobic sons of bitches, those people, and that vibe

there is 50,000 times creepier than the vibe you'll get at a dark ass club with techno music club. I completely agree with that. Do you know what you're dealing with? Idealism that is not real. They're putting out something that is anti people. It's you're, you're striving to something that does not fit naturally. So you're, so everybody's denying these natural urges that if you overindulge,

yes, like me, it's bad, but you're denying your what make what you enjoy. Yes. For something that hopefully will happen. And I listen, I, my best friend from high school is the most religious dude in the world. Love him to death. That's his thing. He's happy.

Okay. But I hate all anybody who lives in this world where it's idealism and they get mad if you don't see that world like that. And that's the conservatives. And that's the fucking progressives too. I'm both sides. I can't stand either side because it's not real. What you're pushing is not real.

You want people to look at you. Keep going. Yeah. I just, I don't, I don't believe in idealism. I believe in realism. Stop right there. We're back. I just did one of my, when people do what I just did to Sam, I want to cut their

throats out my fucking phone. But she happens. Sorry, Sam. Well, it's a couple calls. So it could have been commissioner Gordon or some shit. I had a friend call twice in her own something. Usually that means like somebody's foot got blown off. Well, that means that they really want to come to their show.

Yeah, it's, yeah, it's my friend, Emo, where he's, he's in this band. But man, this is what I want to say to you. This woman, I know there's a woman who wants to have an all straight prom, right? You know about her, right? Yeah, I've heard. I haven't dove into the whole like the story of it, but I've seen clips of it. This woman is the most revolting human I've ever seen in my life. She's so fucking uptight and sick and like you want to talk about

defensiveness or like perversion, that level of sexual perversion. That's what offensive there is darkness lurking in there. She's probably into something. You know, if you go into a lot of recovery programs, the most conservative, hardline recovery person is the person who always was in the most sickest, destructive lifestyle before they got in and they have to overdo it just to make sure that they never go back to that. And you see that a lot with these guys who are like, come out as the, you know,

they're anti gay and it turns out they're totally gay. Always. Because they have to overreach so hard to convince not only everybody, but mostly themselves that they're not that person. Yes. Like, like I've always said, if you hate somebody, like if you like the gays, right, if you hate the gays, it's almost like people hate the New York Yankees. You hate them for a couple of reasons.

One, they did something bad to you. You know, they, they beat the shit out of your team. Yeah. Or you want to be them so badly. Yeah. They drive you crazy. Yes. You want your team to be the Yankees.

You want your team to buy all the players and get all the best players and win all the World Series that you get. You hate them so much because they got what you want. That's the same thing with these people who are so anti gay. They're like deep down side. The truth is that they're probably gay themselves and they hate the fact that they're like that. So the only way to do it is destroy what almost hurts them.

They, you know what it is, man? I mean, I think I know a lot of them are gay, but I think there's another version of them too, which is they see people who have had the courage to fully be themselves and they've been living their entire lives in this state of repression, not just sexual repression. But they've like, you know, digested this teaching that is more than always saying, don't follow your instincts. Don't be yourself.

The body is perverse. The desires of the body are tainted. Always be in control. Always be in control. And they see somebody who's like, this is me. You know, the whole fucking heaven thing. I don't, I'm not buying it. I'm going to just, I think this might be heaven.

Yeah. And I think the only way for me to be in heaven is if I'm fully myself. I can completely agree. The whole notion that you go to heaven and like, what then? Like you go there and you just have all the hot gay sex you want for eternity. Like is heaven just this place where you, everything you couldn't do here, you can totally do up there. Every, all the drugs you want are free.

Everybody's raw dogging. Nobody gets, if you get pregnant, angel gets its wings. Like what goes on in heaven? Like, I don't understand that, that we can't like, we can't be ourselves here in order to get there. Then what happens there? Well, that, yeah, right. Yeah.

Exactly. Right. You cut yourself off here so you can go there and do it there. And just gack out on crack and math and fuck weird shit. They don't think of, they don't think about it. They don't think that far ahead. I think, you know, I think maybe in the most fundamentalist sense, they would say that it's not that you're ratifying the senses in heaven.

It's that you're in the presence of God. And that's all that you want to be is in the presence of God. But what they can't accept is that when you're sitting in front of your illuminated computer, the strange light on your face, perhaps a nose bleed starting, your, your, your cock is sore from jerking off for the seventh time. What they can't accept was I call Thursday, Thursday. They can't accept that God's there too. Yeah.

That God's shining in that too. And this is what I, this is the crazy thing about Hinduism, which is something that if you were perhaps, if you were into Hinduism, what they would say you or is a shy fight. And if you look up there, that Shiva, Shiva is the representation of the, what would be considered the, uh, uh, Tantra or the destructive element of the universe, which is the people who really, really are into Shiva. They like, they're fucking crazy.

They're like Hindu Rastafarians. They have like dreadlocks. They smoke massive amounts of weed. They hang out in cemeteries. They eat corpse flesh. They cover their bodies in ashes and they have weird fucking sex. And like they do this because they believe that God is in everything and that that deep, deep, thick underlying, raw pulsation of life that is represented

in the destructive aspects of life. Like when you're saying like it's strange that a lot of women are getting into like rough sex and like that aspect of sex that's just primordial and prime, I don't want to say violent because it's bigger than violent. I don't want to say it's, it's something deeper. It's just this like wild fucking dinosaurs fighting. Right. Fucking.

Right. Primal. Primal. Well, that's Shiva. That's represent. That's the energy of Shiva, the energy of, of Kali. And so when you create a system like that, then all of a sudden you're not dealing with other Christians are always like fucking putting in their closet,

which is like your God is a fucking freak. Right. You've got a freak God because your God is like supposed to know everything and be capable of everything and like be omniscient. Yet somehow the thing like created Satan and like knew that when you made these monkeys evolve into people, they're going to start fucking each other in the ass and that the P1 to fuck themselves in the ass are going to burn in hell forever and you created this whole fucking odd, why would you even create

the asshole if you weren't going to allow the fuck it? Yeah, these are questions you would want to interview God. These are like the first questions you would ask the crazy Christian God. God, I'd love to get God on my podcast. How great would that be if you could interview God in your podcast? It'd be fucking awesome. Who do you think we get more downloads? God or Justin Bieber?

It's going to be Bieber, probably. I mean, because what's yeah, I mean, it's going to be really close. Bieber's got to do something spectacular. Now, if God came on, right, and God's like, listen, man, I don't some got lost in translation here. I don't know where this whole hate the gays thing. Dude, all good, bro. I'm gay.

Every guy's like, I'm gay. Yeah. I mean, dude, Jesus walked around with some dudes. He was gay. We're gay. We didn't hang out in the cave long enough with your buddy. Some get fucked. That would be the one of the greatest moments in human history.

If verifiably it was God, we saw he's like, yeah, I'm definitely God. Watch he creates planets floating around the earth. We see him raise a dinosaur out of the La Brea targets and put it back down. He's like, undeniably, 100% God. And then somewhere like midway through an interview, he's like, oh, no, gays, I made humans. So they have gay sex with each other. It's the best.

You guys should just be fucking. Yeah, I don't know. The question is how many people would reject him because all their teachings they got like, nah, nah, nah, this, this God's crazy. Where's cool God? Yeah, God, it doesn't want us to do anything. Maybe like that's Satan. Yeah, that's Satan.

There'd be some business to be like, no, no, you don't want to buy it. Well, that that's that's what Satan does. And then Satan would appear the moment that God came out of the closet. Satan would appear and be like, I'm God. Yeah, that is an imposter. Yeah, the gays are evil. Yeah, and then they would totally run to him. And they would totally be like, hey, man, you know, well, that's this is like

the Democrats used to be the racist before the Republicans were the open minded. And then some just flipped. Yeah, now the Republicans are the racist. The Democrats are the open minded. At some point they would switch that everyone be like, there's a time when God will everyone was behind God. Yeah, it's like, no way. Yeah, it's so evil.

God, yeah. Well, this is the I mean, this is like a this is the idea. The idea is that like the moment that if you put in it's fun to think about like the Christian the way Christians deal with evil because their God can't be evil. So they have to embody evil and they embody evil in Satan. So you so so you've got to have this outcast being that's for whatever reason like really in in in the like creating evil activities.

But the so that the real notion here's the crazy. The notion is that indeed there is a force of evil in the universe. And when when Jesus came to earth and started teaching people, listen, the only thing that matters is love. That's it. There's no other rules. Just love your neighbors yourself. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul.

You can hang all the other commandments on this. You don't need priests. You don't need preachers. You don't need anybody telling you how to be because the super intelligence of the universe is immediately accessible to everybody. And in fact, to really demonstrate that, look who I'm hanging out with a prostitute. I'm washing your feet and look who else I'm hanging out with drunks, tax collectors. Check it out.

Doesn't matter. I'm God and I'm going around with you. You consider it to be the most vile and horrific aspects of society. These are my children. So that happens. And all of a sudden you have what I would consider to be a pretty awesome religion. You have a religion where a guy is hanging out with prostitutes saying all that matters is love, right?

So the real force of evil in the universe sees this and it's like, oh, fuck. This ruins everything. Yeah, 100 percent. Yeah, the peace and the love always take a bullet to the brain. Yeah, we got to get rid of him. First of all, always get him out of the fucking casino. Get him out of the casino. They're pressing the buttons.

Get that guy out of the casino. Get him out of the casino. Bang, crucify him. We got rid of him. You know, maybe they make something about up about him coming back, but it's like the motherfucker's gone now that he's gone. Let's let's redefine what all of your neighbors yourself think, you know, and that's the beginning of fucking modern day Christian and it's so crazy

how people justify their hate as like for their religion. It's so interesting. But let me just say this, you know, religion is such an interesting thing because some people get like they get they get drove crazy by religious people. But then I also sometimes think, just imagine if there was no religion, how crazy people would just go. There's some psychopaths out there. The only reason they don't go on major killing spree is sorry about that.

It's because they believe that if they do that, they're going to burn in hell for eternity. The only thing holding them back from going on a fucking rampage is this thought this dude in the sky is watching and he will go fucking nuts on him. Interestingly enough, there's a lot of people in the world who are currently on murderous rampages because they think a God is telling them. Oh, yeah, right. It's interesting.

It's definitely interesting. I would say that if religion didn't exist, there would be less murderous rampages than religion existing because religion existing has been the source of, as we all know, and this has been said a million times, religion existing is pretty much one of the primary motivating factors for murderous rampages. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, organized murderous rampages in the form of crusades. Also, the murderous rampages in the form of the witch burnings, murderous rampages

in the form of all the, the God. It's like, it's so interesting that people like their voice in their head, which tells them to do these evil shit. They, they say that's God. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Well, it's the id, you know, and then that's the, it is crazy. And it's, it's, it's actually quite fucking depressing and it's sad.

And, and, uh, but, you know, these things are shifting. And, uh, one way that they're shifting, I think, is the, uh, you know, every time, you know, the by sex becoming more mainstream, that's a great way to start a shift into, into, um, well, my whole thing with that is like, it's just like, you've seen that these things are all taboo forever. And here's this place where they're not taboo and people are being themselves and nothing bad is happening.

Yes. So how can you hold on to that? See the whole notion that this thing on the other side is the, is the reward or the punishment is the most brilliant part of it. Cause there's no way to prove anything. Right. So you can hold on to that, but you can look at Canada. You can look at parts of Europe.

You can look at parts of Brazil where people are very open and nothing is happening bad, but certain actions like killing somebody, bad things happen. Yeah. When you do that, a bad thing happens. When you're, when you're into certain things sexually and you do that, it's not the end of the world. You're not going to die. And then the guilt comes at the end when you do something nasty and then there

comes that, that guilty moment. Yeah. It's like you're, it's like you're, you're training from childhood telling you that these acts are bad acts, not because something bad happens because simply because you've been told they're a bad act. You were, you were, you've been told they're a bad act by a freak. Yeah. You're told by someone who probably, probably at some point acted on those

instincts, felt really bad about it again. And then is in, in turn, passing on the sickness generation and generation. I used to have a really, a joke I used to think was so good, but I could never get anyone to laugh at it. And it's about how religion is pretty much the only thing you accept from your parents to choose from you. Nothing else. Yeah.

You would never let your parents choose your car, who you date, what job you take. Yeah. None of that stuff. But the explanation of the universe, perfectly happy about that. Well, you, yeah, well, you got it. Like, I, you know, that, yes, you're absolutely, that's a great joke. I've seen like, I'm Stan Hope, like, has this fucking joke about how like, you got it, like the reason that religion has to start with kids is because older people

would never buy it. Like if you approach somebody with the story of the Bible when they were in their twenties and they'd never heard it before, they're like, yeah, I prefer Lord of the Rings. Yeah, that's really weird. Yeah, that is, but, but, you know, you tell a kid that and they're too, they have no control, so they, they absorb it and they believe it. But to go back into like the, the, uh, one thing you were saying made me think

like, um, take marriage, right? Traditional classic marriage. I have a point. Can I say, yes, please. I had a friend of mine in a far distant land who taught at a very, uh, very, uh, conservative religious school and they were bringing up something about science and, uh, one of the kids raised her hand and goes, no, no, that's not true. God does that.

And she's like, well, we've, science has proven that. No, no, God does this. And they basically had to call in like the head priest to come in and this adult watch this priest basically lie to this kid about what, what that was all about. The explanation of it was a full blown lie. Yeah. To continue them believing in what the scripture that they're trying to pass on, I mean, a full blow lie.

Sure. Yeah, that's what they do. Yeah, it's crazy. Well, they've been trained to lie. Yeah. I mean, that's the, that's the idea they're trying to keep people in a trance. They're like the, the master hypnotist. And when people start falling out of the trance, they've got to come in and be

like, no, no, no, no, no, 100% don't think that way. But it's fading away, man. I mean, all that stuff is fading away. And it will fade away and something new will be reborn. Something, this is a thing, man. It's like in every age, a new philosophy, a new religion springs up. And I always find that so interesting too. Like, like I always said, like Mormonism and Scientology is the, the, the UPN and

the CW of religions, you know, these like kind of offshoots of these. Yeah. You know, and it's just like, it's so interesting that something could start like a hundred years ago, be like, this is how the universe started. You're like, but you're just a hundred years old. How do you know all that stuff? And it's just, it's interesting how fucking people getting doctorated into this stuff, you know, to continue the joke that I had before.

It was, I was always talking about how they're, you know, at 18, there should be a religion fair. You go to a religion fair, all the religions, they push their product on you. At the end of the day, everyone's just going to choose Buddhism. Yeah, right. You know, it's just like, no shit, be cool, lay back, three other people. Fine. That's all I got to do.

Yeah, it's all you got to do. And also Buddhism is like, I mean, there's the Dalai Lama in one of his books about science says, if science shows something that goes against Buddhism, then Buddhism has to change to science because Buddhism is always trying to like land on the truth. It's not trying to make shit up. It's just trying to land on the truth. And Buddha even said, don't just believe this because you hear it.

Test it, study it. Is it real? Which is why in Buddhism, as opposed to like, you know, Christianity or some of the other like fun, not real Christianity, but like what it evolved into. The idea is you have faith. You must just have faith and believe this. Just have faith and believe it. Just have.

Yeah, that's so interesting. Right. Yeah, it's not. Whereas in Buddhism, the invitation is you have to understand this to live it. You don't just believe it's real. You have to intellectually, logically, spiritually, on every single level, absorb the teaching and then you'll be a Buddhist. Yep.

But it's not a faith based thing. Like imagine like if you're fucking doctor learned how to do brain surgery on faith, you just have faith. I can be a brain surgeon. No, I want the brain surgeon that fucking studied this shit. That's like, so, you know, the reason that you have, obviously the reason faith is like a major component in modern day Christianity is because fucking it's such crap, right?

You know what, you can they have to adapt or it comes to an end. Well, I mean, you know, if it keeps, if you just go back to the real deal, that it is, it's an incredible religion. It's just like a very difficult religion to follow. And it's like, you know, what was Rogan's tweet? It doesn't suck that humans ruin everything. Right. Yeah.

And it's just the truth. It's just human, like, like personal goals and drives and, and, and, uh, psyche, psychological problems ruin everything. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's, it's, uh, we are look at comedy. Look at comedy in Los Angeles. Okay. You know, you see all these guys who are hilarious and nothing's happening.

You're like, why isn't something happening? Well, because the people who are the gatekeepers have these personal views of the world that these people don't fit into. So instead of being like, Hey, let's put out the best, they want to put out people that fit into their view of everything. Well, the median, the problem is the best in the median don't go together. Yep. That's true.

Ever, ever. The median doesn't want the fucking best. They certainly don't. They were not going to be able to understand it. Nickelback's a bastard, right? There you go. Look at the median. Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, Nickelback, name them, name them all.

That's just, and what pissed me off about comedy is these guys who are like the Nickelback of comedy go around thinking they're Led Zeppelin. They like, they think that they're like revolutionizing everything. Yes. Like, I know their specials, the way they call it, like how they market them. Like he's not, he's taking chances. He may not survive this hour. You might see him die because he's taken all the risk.

I was so drunk I put marshmallows on the grill. Right. That's totally out goes. I love watching that shit. It just like, he's an outlaw. He doesn't play by the rules. What's up with McDonald's, man? It's some crazy shit, right?

It's hilarious. Online dating. It's blowing my mind. He's a rebel. Well, yeah, man. I mean, I used to get upset about that until I realized the predicament that the networks are in and now, you know, now you say that stuff. I just completely agree.

They're, I mean, imagine this, dude, imagine if like you had to produce content that costs every minute, something like a hundred thousand dollars a minute or 80 or maybe more than that. I don't know how much it is. But let's just say, let's even just say it's $80,000 a minute. It's more than that. It's like probably a hundred thousand dollars a minute. So like, you know that you are investing in this thing.

Two hundred and sixty thousand dollars, maybe for 20 minutes of content. And to get a return on your investment, that is, you don't want Mensa to like this shit, right? You don't want this to only appeal to Mensa or fucking gourmetes or like fucking people who have. Well, they tried that for a little while. Some of these channels went really like hipster, like crazy. And nobody watched it.

Nobody watched it. You're like, yeah, great, fine. But guess what? I got to fucking get my two hundred and sixty thousand dollars back. And that's not going to happen by a guy talking, making jokes about the history of the Roman Empire. Right. I completely agree. That's going to happen by people talking about putting marshmallows

on the grill and online dating and people who are like kind of cartoony and zany and safe. And that's how I make my money back. If you want to fucking broadcast your crazy, insane, out there, wild, satanic, sexual worldview, fucking do it. And I guarantee a lot of those people want you to be successful. They want you to be successful because that'll change the mean. Yeah, because these poor sons of bitches day after day,

they have to say no to shit. They're probably in their heart. They like, God damn it, I love that. Yeah, this is so fucking funny. But brother, I got to fucking sell. You know, man, you've changed my views. You got to. I'm dead serious. Oh, that's cool, man.

Yeah, I used to. I used to rage against the machine. Yeah, I agree. Then I thought about like, oh, they're just, you know, they got a job and it's not easy. They're investors. They're one. But I just want to be on channel 400, dude.

You know what I'm saying? Like that's all I've ever wanted to do. I am not looking to get on network. I'm not looking to do any of that stuff. I don't really care to go on pilots. I'm not really that guy. I just want to be on like channel like 200. You have an awesome 400.

You have an awesome podcast. Oh, thank you. I mean, like that. Wait, do you see what I got planned for you next week? Oh, Jesus, man, I'm working on. I'm having a meeting today to set it up. I don't want to get embarrassed, though. It's some embarrassing.

Why would I ever do that? I don't know. I am the farthest thing I know from ambush entertainment. Okay, cool. That's always been my thing. My whole thing is have you come on. They're going, this is the best time I've ever had. Well, I, I, I, dude, I was already a little embarrassed

because you said that I could request a porn star. And I requested Riley Reed and a media. And ever since then, I've been like sitting in my car. Sometimes like, why did you tell him that, man? Cause like, if he does get Riley Reed to appear, you're just going to feel like a creep. I don't think you would at all. I think you'd be very excited about it and you'd be very much

into your, into your, uh, you'd be giddy about it. I don't want to be giddy about a porn star. Why? Why? I mean, okay. Listen, my whole thing about porn stars is like this whole thing, this push to make the mainstream. And like, dude, I don't want to see porn stars fucking win Oscars. I don't think that's what's about that takes away from,

you know, gifted award winning actresses. Now, if there's a porn star who is like Meryl Streep acting, then that's a whole different thing. But this whole thing about taking these porn stars and putting them on like these mainstream, I'm not about that. Well, putting porn stars in the naughty show was more about keeping people away than bringing people in. Oh, that's cool.

Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Cause I, you know, back when it started like three years ago, the naughty show, you know, things were a little, I know it sounds crazy, but only three years ago, things were so much different, entertaining wise. And I just got tired of doing comedy and having people mean mugging me in the crowd because I was being honest on stage.

So I say, if I put these porn stars on here, someone will go there and look at that, be like, Oh, I hate that. I'm like, okay, then it's not the show for you. Brilliant. That's brilliant. They're like, when you put that, when they're like, when you burn those candles to keep mosquitoes away, yeah, they keep assholes.

Yeah. That's brilliant. But then the people that come love it, you keep the conservatives away and you get open minded people in there because there's only going to be open minded freaks who come to a show that's got porn stars. And when I finally get on television and I will, it will be even bigger because then people can watch it at home and I have

to come to the show and have ever been like, Oh, I'm at a show with porn stars. People are going to think I'm weird. They can watch it at home. You will get it on TV. It's common, dude. I can feel it. It's going to be big.

If you know, I mean, I have people jacket from me and try to do it on TV and they did it unsuccessfully because I have a formula I did. But that's the whole thing, man. It's not, you know, people, it's an, it's a very scientific thing I'm working on. Sam, where can people find the naughty show? The naughty show. If you go to naughty show.net, you can go there.

Sam Tripoli.com. The naughty show podcast finally has gotten 5,000 followers on Twitter. I'm very excited about that. And you can see me on, and you can check me out on at Sam Tripoli. And I'm also, if I could plug my date that I'm going to do coming up here, I am going to be in, I'm very excited about this. I don't know if you've worked with these ladies, static dog.

Entertainment. Yeah, I have worked with them. They're awesome. I'm going to be the 22nd, which is this Saturday or Friday coming up. I'm going to be at, oh yeah, Jessica Bogart. I'm going to be at the Mullins North Show in Pixburg. And then the Saturday night in Columbus, Ohio. I will be at the Woodlands Tavern.

When is this this Friday and Saturday coming up? So that's this Friday and Saturday coming up. Pixburg and Columbus and with Tony Hinchcliffe. It's going to be fucking phenomenal. Guys, go see Sam Tripoli. I will have links to the tickets on the website. So if you guys didn't catch that and you live in those areas and want to get details, go to duckatrustle.com on the section

where this is posted and there will be direct links to the tickets. Duncan, I gotta say something. I love you so much, buddy. I love you too. I love you so much. I'm so happy for your success. Thank you. I couldn't be happier.

You were the nicest guy to me. I remember one time we were rehearsing for this, the stupid dummies and I yelled at you one day and I still to this day feel fucking awful. You know what's so funny? I don't even remember it. I'm sure you don't. But to me, I'm like, I remember yelling and I'm like, oh, why did I ever do that? But, you know, I don't remember your style.

I love performing with you. You all your jokes are so smart and they crack me up. Thanks. And I couldn't be happier for your success. The feeling is mutual, Sam. And also, I think that you have inadvertently managed to like be a big part of a sexual revolution that's happening in the world. And that is so fucking cool.

I hope so. And you're very articulate about it, man. And and and there is a the effect of hanging out with you. And the reason I like hanging out with you is because you you have a cathartic effect on me that makes me like that helps eradicate weird hangups and like guilty aspects of myself. And I think you're doing that with your podcast and with your comedy, too. And I love it.

That's a damn gift. Thank you for being on the show. I hope you'll come back on. I'll come on anytime, dude. Beautiful. God bless Duncan Trestle. God bless Sam Tripoli. Thanks for listening, guys.

That was Sam Tripoli. Go to his website at samtripoli.com and say hello. And also, if you like this podcast, go to iTunes and give us a rating and leave a little review because it helps push us up on the charts, which is actually quite meaningless. But for some reason, I mean, obviously I like it. It's stupid, but I like it. So do that.

Go to iTunes. It's easy. Just leave a little comment and interact with it. And that's how they gauge the success of a podcast, I think, because they don't, they can't really track the numbers. But don't, don't even worry. Who cares? I want to do that.

Speaking of iTunes, here's a great song. It's called The Mountain Low. It's from Palace Music. This is Will, one of Will Oldham's many bands. And it's from the album Viva Last Blues. It's called The Mountain Low. Please go check it out on iTunes. Definitely listen to Will Oldham.

He's one of my faves. Okay, bye. In the valley. If she lives. In the valley. Oh, if she lives. In the valley. Oh, the mighty, mighty valley.

Of the sun. Yes, if she lives. There quietly and goes to bed there nightly. Tower over peaks and in the sky. Well, she comes to me. It seems every night there for me with a different face. And makes that will not quit. Yes.

If I ask him and his presence will tell me what I need to know, I will sell my belongings In the mountains where she's living, just to be there when she comes every morning