Dungeons and Daddies - BONUS: Dad Save America - Democracy Dies in Dadness

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

In this Dungeons and Daddies election special, The Dads help Walter debate Scam Likely and his running mate Tatty Roper (Amanda Schuckman) to determine who deserves a spot in the White House.Please go to Vote.org to check your voter registration and make a plan to vote in this election!When you are done with that, vote in the Faerûn election here!This episode contains Profanity and Sexual Content.Support the show on Patreon!Get merch and more at our website!Follow us on Twitter @dungeonsanddads!Check out the subreddit!DM is Anthony Burch (@anthony_burch)Henry Oak is Will Campos (@willbcampos)Darryl Wilson is Matt Arnold (@mattlarnold)DM is Anthony Burch (@anthony_burch)Ron Stampler is Beth May (@heybethmay)Glenn Close is Freddie Wong (@fwong)Tatty Roper is Amanda Shuckman (@eruditechick)Brian Fernandes is our Content ProducerAshley Nicollette is our Community ManagerKortney Terry is our Community CoordinatorCindy Denton is our Merch ManagerEster Ellis is our Lead EditorTravis Reaves provides Additional EditingRobin Rapp is our TranscriberSend us stuff and get in contact: https://www.dungeonsanddaddies.com/contactThe story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome, welcome faithful listener to our attempt to save democracy. That's right, we're doing it baby. I know you've been asking how can these guys save democracy? And Beth, and Amanda. As is always the case, it will be mostly men who save democracy. Or destroy it. I think that's so brave. We're going to destroy it for sure.

So what's happening is this is our special election campaign episode and the reason we're doing this is to hopefully convince you if you haven't already To go out and register to vote. We're not gonna tell you who to vote for Are we giving one million dollars a day away to one lucky listener who signs our petition who supports independent podcasting? What is that a reference to something? to one lucky listener who signs our petition who supports independent podcasting. What is that a reference to something? Elon Musk is giving a million dollars a day to somebody. What?

Yeah, if anybody signs up for his stupid fucking super podcast. I know, believe me, I was like, yo, this podcast is gonna do it. This episode is definitely gonna swing the election. And then Elon Musk did that, I'm like, damn, I don't know if it's a good idea. What the fuck? I wonder if maybe that's not very legal. It doesn't sound legal, it sounds like election interference. Sounds fine to me, everybody. Fuck maybe that's not very legal Me everybody okay anyway

Vote it's important go to vote org specifically if you want to find information on but it's dot-com Millionaire now here's the thing here's thing there's obviously the big presidential election coming up That's for front on everyone's minds, but it's important to vote because it affects you all the way down. Local elections matter too. Local elections are so important. They're more important than anybody. I would argue probably more important.

And I'll even go so far as to say I learned a real lesson about local elections when the city councilman that I thought was a decent guy got jailed for bribery and I realized that local elections are important and the buildings that he rubber stamped while he's in jail the buildings He rubber stamped for development are going up all around in my neighborhood and they're real eyesores And I'm like you know what I really need to think more about Elections you can be the one electing a guy who later gets removed for yes exactly Yeah, I realize that local elections were important when my property management company that owns my apartment put a pro

proposition that would decrease protections for rent control in front of my apartment. Oh my god. And I was like hmm oops I threw this in the trash because that's not supposed to go there So what we're gonna. Do is not lecture you for an hour and a half what we're going to do is we're gonna play a fun little one It's not election interference of a fictional character does it that's a good point. Oh, that's a trick Elon Musk is fictional Yeah, so we go back to season one The dad in favor yes, dude your favorite characters. Oh, maybe

Yours was your favorite characters, I don't want to say My politician mindset Anthony I just want to let you know who I just wanted to let you know. Who you vote for, that's between you and your maker. Whatever makes sense. So the dads are back in Faerun, well it's not back in Faerun, this is during the campaign of season 1.

You are on your way to rescue your lost kids, but you do have your boy Hayden with you. And your leaf vibrates. Who's gonna get that? But you do have your blood payden with you yeah, and your leaf vibrates Who's gonna get that? One of those people that's been calling us over and over again about the election in faerun don't answer it hello Hey Walter who is this? What have you got it's Walter

Damn it Walter are you doing surveys for electioneers at this one, whatever, answer all your questions? Technically, yes. Oh, okay. I was actually calling to see if I could get your support for my campaign for the White House. Oh wow. The White House? The White House?

The White House? There's a big house on a hill that's totally white and it has fucking rules. It's got like jacuzzis, a fountain that sprays strawberries every day. It's got like jacuzzi a fountain a dead spray strawberries every day It's called strawberries. It's got Everything it's got everything you can possibly imagine and every four years somebody new gets to take up residence in the White House Oh Henry here. Hey Walter I have a question for you. Is the blowjob room called the No people say that all the time

It must be hard to keep that house clean No, it's actually magically clean all the time like when you look at it You can't even make out the corners or decreases in the doors frames or anything like that. It's so white It looks two-dimensional. It's crazy. Well, this house sounds dangerous guys Walter Is this like it's just like a prize like do you do something or is this somebody's lucky and gets a liver for four years? I was campaign you campaign every year So whoever wins the campaign that says they deserve to live in the White House because they are the best person or they've had the hardest life or just the best person sort of leads society they get to live in the White

House. So they lead society so this is like a... I mean like culturally like you look at them as the arbiter of style. Who's in the White House now? Nobody's faking that that's why there's a new campaign. What happened to them? The four years came up. Oh, so they just have a debt period? So they evicted the guy from the White House before? Well, they won't. Wait, Henry, Henry, this is very- We wouldn't let somebody stay in the White House while the election is going on. That'd be insane. Henry, Henry, this is very stressful.

If you ever stay in an Airbnb, you know that you can't check in and check out at the same time. They got to get the cleaners and they- They got to clean up for hours. Yeah, exactly. Well, Walter, I mean, yeah, you got our support. You're the best. And obviously we could visit you and stuff and hang out in the White House if you got it, right?

Yeah, of course. Have you ever had parties? You could have some strawberries. Well, I don't know. You made that house sound really cool. What if we wanted to stay in the house? Yeah, this sounds like a pretty chill place to hang out. Oh, you mean my third party?

There's only two guys running. Yeah, that's why I was gonna call for your support. Wait, how did you get to run third party. Well, wait. There's only two guys running. Yeah. That's why I was going to call for your support. Wait, how did you get to run? How many? It feels like everybody would want to run. Why wasn't it just you?

Yeah, this sounds like this house would be really popular. Just on the blowjob room alone. Because it's a little haunted and half the people will go and die. Oh, I see. But I am super good at making things that can fight ghosts, so I'm probably fine. Quick talk quick talk to the dad see I gotta say I think everything he's a day expert Henry I'm not

Okay, well no, I want Walter to hear this Disappointed in you all. Oh my god, you brought paid into Walter He just took it he just did what we asked and here he is coming to ask us if we can help him get a good house So you guys are like, oh, what if I want the house Ron go or asking about how the politics work? I thought you're supposed to be culturally sensitive Henry Darryl Darryl, yeah, Darryl, I'm listening Darryl part of being culturally like I'm not listening I'm listening part of being culturally Being is culturally curious

All the time this isn't out of character for me to want something I'm not saying it's out of character I'm saying maybe you could improve know your character our friend Walter wants a blowjob room Strawberry fountain in a blowjob room in a non Euclidean Two-dimensional giant house that he will become the cultural leader and style icon of the forgotten realms in correct Now muted Henry Let's be real here. We'd be the power behind the power. Like, Ron, if Walter wins, the house, we'll be able to use the house. Well, I would never use the blow job room.

No, neither would I, unless Carol. Elise, why? What? Why wouldn't you? I'm a married guy, and, and and once you get married then I unmute Walter. Okay, so I'm assuming love to help you. Oh, sorry Walter You definitely heard all of that because if you were muted, yeah, you can hear me. I was talking I heard everything you said so my feelings are a little her Walter rude It's turn off speaker

Before it's been a common mistake no hold on like I can't go on my iPhone then call you and then press a button Where I can't hear you, but you can hear me. Yes, you can I can't hear you, but you can hear me. Yes, you can. I don't think you can hear right. You can turn off the speaker. We'll agree to disagree, because that's what bipartisan jib is all about. All right, who we being, Walter?

Also, it's a magical leaf. Who is this asshole who thinks they deserve a house more than you? Well, this is bad news. OK. It's an old friend of yours. Scam likely. Oh.

Oh, scam. Yeah, no, we definitely prefer you. Yeah, for sure. Scam's kind of possible. Yeah, I've got a debate with him coming up, and I need, no, we definitely prefer you. Yeah, for sure. Scams are kind of awful. Yeah, I've got a debate with them coming up, and I need, well, I need two things. One, I need some support in the debate, because I'm not a very good debater. I'm the opposite of a master.

Ha ha ha, I'll be the two of you. Number two, I need running mates. And I figured all of you could be my running mates. Oh, wow, yeah. Wait, I'm, okay, I know I said I wasn't going to ask. You could have multiple running mates. So again, not to be nosy, but to be curious. So how the government system works here-

It's not government. It's just a cool house, Henry. It's a cool house. The cool house system works is everyone around gets to vote for one guy and his, as many friends as he wants. That's a big cast at five. Is one guy and his five friends get to live in a fun house with a blow job room.

And a strawberry fountain. How did you become the other guy? How did you and Scam become the two guys running? We campaigned for it. Did no one else campaign? But hey, I just. I'm more popular than that. We ran a primary.

And we're the ones who won in our respective towns. You must have come here after the primary. Primary elections are so important. It's true. So you got a lot of support already. You're choked in the primary, you don't get to complain about who you vote for in the general. That's true.

Hey, Walter, what's your numbers right now against scam? Like, where are we at? Right now it's like 49, 51. It's way closer than it should be logically, given the stances that scam likely has. Okay, and what's like the polling error on this one? It's like three or four percent, so who knows? It's within range. Okay, it what's like the pulling air on this one? It's like Okay, it's within range yeah, I asked those

538 gnomes that go around asking everyone what they said they said it's a dead heat. It's a dead heat. Okay People who consider themselves maybe Independent from you and scam to see where they love they usually vote for themselves and they don't get enough votes to actually ever get it in the house. Yeah, so here's a question, Walter, just from a tactical standpoint. Do you want us to get people who are into scam likely to vote for you? Do you want us to focus on the people who can't pick between you or scam likely? Or do you know what I mean? Honestly, I leave that up to you.

I think as my running mate, you'd also sort of be my campaign advisors because I'm not sure I've never won an election before, so I don't know where to go. You're on primary, that's to you. You, you, I think it has my running mates. You don't just sort of be my campaign advisors. Cause I'm not sure I've never won an election before. So I don't know. You want a primary? That's pretty impressive. Yeah, but like it was a primary against David Morianes and he's a cop. It's not hard to beat that. Yeah. So which, um, do you want to get to the band? Yeah.

I just have one. Which, you know, do you guys have parties? Like which party are you? Like what are your- House party, baby! Nice! I love our house party! What are you gonna do for the citizens of Faerun? I'm gonna throw a house party! It's not a political thing, Henry. How many times are we gonna-

It's just a cool house! It's a room! It's a cool house! It's a house where you can eat street berries! I keep bringing my own preconceived cultural colonialist vibes into my preconceived judgments and I'm the primary party frog in favor. There's two ways to approach this. Either we need to convince people that you are the one who most deserves the house or

we need people to think scam likely doesn't deserve the house. Okay. Yeah, or we could convince people that want to vote for scam that voting is not worth it. Oh, that's a good. Or we could convince people that want to vote for scam that voting is not worth it It would just be in this context that voting is bad The cowards way out I think that we could tell all of fair room to vote for Walter and that our opinions Would be so cool that they would do it. Hold on, hear me out. They go low, we go high.

Hear me out, hear me out. What if we call into question the entire system of voting and made it seem like if you voted for a person, it would flip the vote, like there was an error in the machine. And then we would encourage all of scam likely voters to vote for Walter. You all get transported to the debate. Whoa, Walter, what's going on? I was tired of waiting for an opponent. I'd like to introduce you to my running mate. Running mate, introduce yourself. Hi everybody, I'm Tati Roper. That's Tati T-A-T-T-Y Roper R-O-P-E-R and I'm here to work this crowd with my best mate ever, Scamlightly, to make sure that people of Faerun get the best person in this house they possibly can.

You got a silly accent, you're not even from Faerun, how could you run? Daddy's got me the foreign demographic. Oh god. And he's got sex appeal. Oh man. Why are we here from? Also I'm like nine. He's got sex appeal amongst pedophiles. There are more pedophiles in Faerun than you think. That's a very large demographic of votes I need.

And shockingly, you seem to have locked that vote up pretty much. Yeah, I'm pretty good at that, honestly. You've got a long road to climbing. We're not going to work on peeling off that vote, okay? They have that vote. You're in a debate right now, Walter? Yeah, I was kind of calling you as the last minute. I need help, because otherwise, they would disqualify me for not having running mates.

Oh. They've already picked some debate questions, and I think the moderates about to start Anthony as our dungeon master Could you paint a picture of this debate scene? Oh? Yeah? How many are we right now you are in a darkened room within a castle you can smell the musty mold of the castle audience? Did I know there is an audience? I was getting to that you piece of shit There are a bunch of audience members of various races, species, different financial castes sitting in the audience. You see ogres, you see orcs, you see elves, you see people wearing crowns, like actual governmental officials. It seems like everybody's really interested in who gets into the White House, even if it doesn't actually directly affect them. Well, the culture. The culture.

The culture, yeah, yeah, of course. It's really what happens in your local houses that you need to be paying more attention to. And there is a couple goblins on the rafters pointing two big spotlights at two podiums. And then a third spotlight ignites, and spotlights are like candles in a bucket or something. The moderator's podium... They're gonna be magic! There's magic in this world! Yeah, they're magic candles in magic buckets. Okay, cool.

The moderator's podium lights up, and from beneath, a bunch of roots sort of start pulling away at the ground from underground and then sort of shove all the dirt away and then like from an elevator Aaron O'Neill rises from the ground and Stands at the podium and says so crazy that we've met everybody involved in this. Yeah, we're so powerful We're powerful and connected Ron. Anthony I have a question. Yeah, is this before or after we let Aaron O'Neill die? Let me roll One through ten it's after 11 through 20. It's by we I'm in Freddy, of course. Yes the architect of all your Blowfeld yes, it was me

12 it's after you let her die. Oh, this is a derail. But do you ever think about it? No, it's before you let her die. Oh, this is a derail, but do you ever think about it? It's before you let her die. Okay, fine You're good the part inspector where he's like running around and like there's all these like little pictures of Blofeld on the wall that He's running. Yeah, yeah Tape those up to mess with fucking escape room. My favorite part of the new bond was the scene where Javier Bardem was really far away was really far away. Wait, what? Is that all scenery walks were really far away? Yeah. And it's like, I remember being like true

Bardem heads. No, the end of 1915, 1916, the one take, you know, World War one movie. I think it's two years wrong. The end of 1917, the part where it's like he finishes, he delivers the thing, the end of the movie. And then there's a tree in the distance. And I remember turning the mat and being he finishes He delivers thing the end of the movie and then there's a tree in the distance

And I remember turning the mat be like this motherfucker got walk all the way The whole time I was like I'm done. I'm done with the movie He said the thing that was gonna go to the tree and like sit down some shit But I'm like god damn that tree far away The way this is going to work Aaron says is Hi Aaron. Hey guys. What's going on? I still like you. Yeah We wouldn't let that happen. No never right rotten. Yeah, right got my back. I got yours for buds Yeah, okay, the way this is going to work is even though we're buds. I'm gonna be completely impartial. Okay, I'm here to do

I wouldn't get her No, I saw that wink. I'm gonna be completely impartial. Okay. I'm here to wink. I wink at her No, I saw that wink. I'm not bribable. Hey really quick audience. You made the audience think I was trying to bribe you Aaron That's prejudicial. Yeah. Yeah, this is not a courtroom to suck my dick Before we get started a machine for that noise Henry walks over to scam and oh, this is interesting. let's see what he'll do. Just to shake your hands. Hello, hello, Henry Oak, let's have a good debate. Scammed you! Hello Henry Oak, let's have a good debate. Put it there, chucklefuck!

Okay, well, um, he called me a chucklefuck, but I think I won the exchange. Yeah, but then, scam likely pulled his hand away and slipped his hair back. That did not look good for the optics, I'd say. No, I think that's gonna make them just look cool. I think these two people look pretty cool. Hiro, you're good at handshakes, why don't you try? Okay, I'm gonna say it instead of getting up in person to do it. This is just like 1917, Matt's like, that's a long way to walk. Long way to walk.

No, no, no. Henry, Henry, I don't think, I think anything you do to these two just makes them look cooler. I know what Skye's gonna do. No, but what if you psych them out? What if you do the psych and that'll cover up for my lack of psych? Okay, okay. All right. Hey, Skye, I'm gonna come over and give you a handshake too. Okay! Matt is now getting up Oh such a long walk and Tati does look like a small Victorian paperboy

They both tried to do the Yeah, you made them look cool again Tati Roper Darryl by telling your friends by big man man. He really made us look cool again Tattie Roper, tell your friends, bye big man Man he really made us look less cool Daryl by consenting to the fist pound that Tattie initiated you looked dumb as fuck I know I told you, I told you we can't be kids You went in for a handshake and Tattie gave you a fist bump you fucking idiot I told you if they go for the fist pound you go for the snail

That's what I'm saying I'm sorry I'm sorry guys I shouldn't be the front man here Alright I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna shake their hands too. Ha ha! You gotta run. You gotta run. I'm waiting. I think he's trying to, so I can't scam.

Yeah. I think it's a song count. Not very sportsman-like to just sort of stand there and not actually shake our hands. Not very cool. You never know, I might. Audience, do you think it's a little bit untoward that he's not shaking our hand?

Boo! Shake his hand. I don't think that's what the audience, excuse me, audience. I don't think that's for the audience. Shake their hand. Excuse me, audience. I don't think that's what you said, audience. Boo! Yay!

Ron's right! Woo! I think they think it's cool that I scammed you and you didn't know whether I was going to come shake your hand. High roll is you, low roll is me. Yeah, we like the daddies. It's quite cool not to shake people's hands sometimes. If you don't really agree with them.

I said not to shake. Well, Ron, you did a good job. Good job, Ron. Okay, now it's my turn. Fucking dammit. You got this, Glenn. All right, Glenn. Glenn leans his chair back and then just flips both of you the bird.

Ooh. Whoa. Let's see how the audience feels about that. And you should also probably roll to see how well I'm balancing on the back of my chair. So you bounce really well and the audience responded with a natural 20 This guy fucking rules hey Walter just call for the big we're already winning you gotta quit when you're ahead No, there's more pedophiles than there are people in this room Okay, okay, I think that debate's starting

Yes, what's the first question? The first question comes to us from and sir, I swear to fucking no, it's a real question there I'm also a woman but yes, go ahead. Yeah. Oh, ma'am Erin O'Neill I have a real question what is this like a free-form debate? Do we all just get a talk away? What or I was going to explain after I ask you the question. Oh, okay Further than you usually trust me. Okay, then it would be fine Okay, okay So what's going to happen is I'm going to ask the question and then you and scam are gonna roll and whoever rolls higher Gets to pick which side of the debate they're on

And then the other person gets to choose whether they go first or second And then any of the five of us can talk yeah well you're gonna get a minute to speak 90 seconds you're gonna get 90 seconds to speak no not each no I decide it's good nice seconds is longer than you think a minute then so this question comes to us from Liz B these questions were all this Anthony talking not Aaron O'Neill these questions were all taken from our discord so thank you to the folks in our discord who offered questions dang how do you get on the discord I just have to pay five dollars a month on our patreon to get access to our discord and all of our

great bonus content on our patreon, much of which is better than the stuff on the main feed. Go to vote dog org first. I mean, you have two tabs, you have chrome. Yeah, you got tabs bro. Okay, so this comes from Lizby. Lizby asks, should the social code be amended to include coughs in things that we say bless You to the people are tired of not being sure if it's a cough or a sneeze and it's so awkward to get it wrong

Right now we're gonna roll feel strongly one person to roll on your team Darrell says he feels strong. I feel strongly about it, too But I feel like my answer is gonna be unpopular so I think Well, I mean we don't get to choose what side we're on. I'm hoping we're on the right Well by rolling you get to choose the side. Yeah. A d20 roll you say. 18. 18 okay scam and Taddy got a 10 so you get to choose what side of the debate you would like to be on. You're on the side of saying bless you too much. I think we should be saying bless you to everything that seems like a little. Of course the Christian would say that. My problem is less with including coughs and more with the bless you.

Okay but the question's not about, Henry the question's not about whether or not we should change the word bless you. The question's whether or not we should say bless you to more things. Wait, but it seems like a patchy question, because it's like we kind of come off in like a really kind of like pushy, you know. You have ten seconds to decide your stance. Amanda, didn't you do speech and debate in like high school or something? Obviously. Yeah. Oh, no.

That's why I brought her, because I didn't. No. Daryl, I'm going to trust you on this one. Okay, cool. So I got this? Yeah, Daryl. I'm gonna trust you on this one. Okay, cool, so I got this? Yeah, Daryl. I got it. So Daryl's chosen your stance. Now, Taddy, you get to decide whether we go first or second. Second.

Yeah, she's smart. So whenever you're ready, Daddies, you have 60 seconds to explain why we should say bless you for coughs as well as sneezes. Remember to introduce yourselves to the electrician. Listen up all you motherfuckers! Hey everybody, my name's Daryl Wilson, but you don't need to worry about me. Worry about my man Walter over here.

He deserves to be in the White House, he deserves to get his dick sucked and have strawberries anytime he wants, because he's the best dad I've ever known. But that's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to talk about... Oh, bless me! What? Bless me! Now you're all thinking, of course you'd say bless me, but what if that was a cough or a sneeze or a burp?

You may be confused. What are you supposed to say in a situation like that? Why not just say bless you? Say bless you all the time. What's the harm? Or thanks or namaste or whatever. I don't know if we need to be bringing religion into this. The Christian religion. What? 20 seconds left and I yield the remainder of my time, but not the daddy's time Just Ron's time is yielded when in doubt blessed out Darrell Dabbs Okay from now on I'm not gonna roll for the audience's reaction because you the audience listening are the ones who are gonna get to decide How this election turns out?

So once this episode is posted you're gonna be able to go on to our socials Probably all of them are gonna link to the same Google form that I made where you're gonna be able to vote for either the dads Or scam and tatty and depending on which person wins will have their victory speech on our socials after Remember votes matter. I think it's pretty clear who's winning We've heard one of the answers and most people only tune into the first ten minutes of the day I don't win the first stage and this is not a popularity contest. We all know man is way cooler than us Pick for the argument not for who's cooler. Yeah, okay scam and Tati your time starts now You have 60 seconds go one of the things I love most about being from Fire Room,

which I am, is the massive pluralistic society we formed here. And basically, everyone's got a god or a goddess in their pocket helping them out, getting through the day. So when you say bless you someone, it could mean anything from anyone, right? Which is why it's really fucking dangerous to do. And we shouldn't do it no more.

Not only should we not say bless you for coughs, but maybe we should just stop saying bless you altogether and instead say something that is welcoming and won't bring the wrath of the fae or the deities or mortals down your head. So how about we all try? You all right there fella? Sorry?

You all right there fella? Gesundheit. You all right there fella? Oh no, the- Oh, oh, that's what they were saying, is you're right there fella. Oh yeah, you all right there fella? Isn't that better alright there fella? Oh, that's what they were saying, you alright there fella? Oh yeah, you alright there fella? Isn't that better? Well, fella's a little gendered.

What about, you alright there? They're crumbling baby! You alright there? Buddy, pal, friend, really anything can go at the end as long as you're being nice. But keep the religion out of it, separation of church and sneeze. Hey that was my argument. Hey how come my mic's muted? None of the audience can hear me.

Aw man. I think we did okay on that one. Do we get a rebuttal? Hey, how come my mic's muted? None of the audience can hear me. Oh, man. I think we did okay on that one. Do we get a rebuttal? Yes, you get a 30 second rebuttal. If you go first. Ahem, yeah, we get a 30 second rebuttal and I would just like to say from the bottom of my heart, bless you.

That wasn't a cough, it wasn't a sneeze, it was a big shit all over the debate floor. That's right, your argument wasn't good. It was a big poopoo, but we're saying bless you anyway, because we have an inclusive Blessing state where we say hey, are you you're blessed and that's good I agree with Ron bless doesn't mean any religion when somebody says hashtag blessed. I got a good cappuccino I don't want Walter a run next debate run really changes up when he locks in. Look at Ron's got like his leg up and like... Ron's just coughing wax. I got my leg up here because I found out that my mic was muted when I'm not speaking and then that made me sad.

Their next topic comes from Dr. Frankenstein. Thank you, Dr. Frankenstein. What's more important for the economy, dungeons or dragons? Hahaha! Alright, now we're all easy 20. What a great question. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Screw it. I think I got this one. Nine. Fourteen. So we get to choose our stance first. Oooh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Patty, your time starts now. Dragons are beautiful creatures, ain't they? We all love them, even if they're real scary a lot of the time. One thing dragons do better than anything else is hoard treasure.

Gold, gems, what have you. Wealth, they are wealth creators. And what do we know about dragon ords? There's going to be adventurers that are going after them. That money trickles down into the adventuring economy. Into your taverns, into your towns, into your armories. It keeps people moving on the streets and going in and out and traveling. And it means that there's always a golden ray of hope

at the end of a long tunnel where, yeah, there might be a dragon, but if you can get past him, there's all for a shitload of cash. And what's a dragon without a dungeon? Still pretty cool. What's a dungeon without a dragon? A cave. Boring.

Shake off in the end. I yield the remainder of my time. What do you think, Taddy? I think we nailed it. I mean, I would love to hear from an actual dragon if you ever felt the need to stop by. We can always give that one we know a call if we feel the need to. But no, I feel comfortable letting all the friends over there weigh in! I'd also like to remind everybody that the daddies dropped a pyramid on a town and killed hundreds of people! Anyway, I yield my time. Alright, now you have a minute. Whenever you're ready.

Hello! 3, 2, 1, go! I'm allowed to my time. All right, now you have a minute. Whenever you're ready. Hello, miney. I'm allowed to respond to that. Three, two, one, go. All right, your time's already going. You have three seconds left. You got this, Henry. Hello, I'm Henry Oak. I'm one of the cabinet members for the Immoral slash Immortal slash Such a Great Guy campaign.

And I would just like to say, where did the gold come from? Did the dragons invent the gold? No, the people mined the gold. The people did the gold. And the dragons fly in and they steal it! They steal the wealth and hoard it because the dragons are the 1% who are taking and capturing all the wealth that could be used to improve the blowjob machines, to improve the strawberry fountains, to improve the infrastructure in Fey Road, and I just want to say that I think

these two are in league with the dragons My friends are in dungeons, you know The people have discounted or cast out people that people aren't thinking about I'm thinking about them If you're in a dungeon right now, you can get out Maybe with the wealth from just one dragon h, we can fund blow job machines for everybody. If the dragons- Done, done. No, it's over, it's over. It's over. They're playing you up. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na I'm not arguing that dragons are less likely to steal things than humans. I think we could all agree on that. That's a known fact.

There goes the dragon vote for these idiots. Humans are dirty thieves as much as dragons are any day of the week. But the difference is, human thieves don't really give you something to aspire to, unless they're a true artist like me. Uh, yeah. We don't aspire to dragonhood at all, and you guys are wrong. Dungeons are usually empty places full of traps, and the treasure can be really sort of hit a mess Dungeoneering creates jobs people create dungeons Pocket a big dragon you're in the pocket of big dungeon

Privatizing all the dungeon gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen, please keep it civil All the dungeon gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen, please keep it civil Quick hello guys. I think any question they ask us we're gonna lose on this one We got to do what politicians called pivot every single time they ask question The question is make it about how Walter deserves blowjobs and strawberries people like Walter. They don't care about policy They care about the guy Paid it No, they're a voting block, we're just gonna ignore them The next topic is from Mountain Drew. Thank you Mountain Drew

Mindrew asks if you had to let your daughter go to prom with King Kong or Godzilla Who would you want her to go with and why seems like a dragging question? This is the last time about this is a trap This one we pivot to Walter 100%. I hear you. I hear you. Ron, do you? Because the last few questions have seemed pretty aggressive. No, I hear you 100%. Guys, I don't know if we should let Ron answer this one.

No, I know I have a good pivot answer. Ron's got this. Okay, Ron's got this. Let's play the 20. Let's play the 20 first. All right. We roll a 14. We rolled a 15.

Okay. All right. What's our 14 we rolled a 15. Okay What's our stance on King Kong or God's a little bit? I guess we could play that we don't know what they are if you want. I mean Yeah, we would know yeah We're choosing King Kong. Okay. Yeah, would you like to go first or second? We'll go first. Okay When you're ready three two one go when it comes to the question of whether I want my daughter to be taken to The prom but King Kong or God's uh, that's a stupid question cuz I don't have a daughter I have a beautiful stepson a son Terry Jr

That I love dearly and when you first meet me, you may think he's not a very good stepdad Maybe he's got issues. Maybe he doesn't know how to fix oatmeal But then when you learn about my tragic backstory and how good of a friend I am and how good of a step dad I can be, then you and then I'm pivoting. And then Godzilla is hotter, literally. And then Walter deserves a blowjob from whoever machine wants to and if King Kong or Godzilla gave Walter a blowjob he would be so grateful and not many people practice gratitude these days. Meditation helps me immensely when I think about how much I love my son.

The point is we beat Medicare. Ron, Ron, I have a question. Yeah. Do you know where we are? Sorry, that's it? AHHHHH Alright, now we have a minute I feel like after this we can all talk It sounds like you got a lot going on but we gotta focus on Walter Yeah That's exactly what I did And I'm glad to serve my

Frog Alright, 3, 2, 1, we go You won't know that tragic backstory, King Kong's got a tragic backstory. And he still managed to really go out of his way to take care of a special lady. So it makes sense to me that if you were gonna have your kid go with a problem with either King Kong or a giant turtle dinosaur, you choose King Kong.

He cares about women's issues, just like we do. Had the daddies mentioned women even once? I don't think they have. Only to clarify that they don't got no daughters, only sons. Only to clarify that they don't got no daughters, only sons was that so young. Only sons and only men. Also, you know who used to be a man is fucking Walter. Yeah and then he turned into a frog.

Are you a frog or are you a man? I guess he's a frog now. You're a frog now. I guess you're a frog. How about that? Moderator, come on. That's crazy. She's within her minute so I don't there's something I can do.

You're just gonna allow personal attacks? You did personal attacks? You did personal attacks! Also, most frogs and toads-like people have cloacas and nothing that can actually really be sucked in what would be called a blowjob. So, I don't know if what's gonna really make the most use out of that room anyway. We need live fact-checking. Uh, no, we don't do that. We leave that to the audience to decide. Alright, our time is up.

Can we respond? Yeah, you have 30 seconds to respond. Hey everybody, my name's Darrell Wilson, but again, you don't need to worry about me. You don't need to worry about our friend Walter. And here's the thing, he's having us answer this question because he's never even thought about that question. He would never even think to ask who should I allow my daughter to go out with? She's got her own agency and her whole thing. That's right. What Walter cares about is being there to support her, whether the date goes poorly or well, and just listen to her at the end of the day.

And you know what would be great? If he had a nicer house to sit down and listen to his daughter. And maybe, you know what? All I'm saying is that if you vote for him, you'll let all of you come to his house. Roll the obisodes for everyone. Did the audience hear that? Did they cut my mic? Or did they cut your mic?

Also, Godzilla is not definitively a man. He's starting to tell a dinosaur. He's starting to tell a dinosaur. You're over your time. Child of dinosaur. Can we get a sense of how the audience is feeling? No, because the audience is the people listening to this right now.

Hey audience, how are you feeling? Hey audience, how are you doing? Hey, why don't you hit us up on our socials, let us know how you're feeling. This would be a good time for you to go over to vote.org and see if you're registered to vote. In the first tab. In the important election.

And in the second tab. Not in this one, because I think we're going to lose this one, so maybe stop listening right now go to vote org And if you feel like scam is winning just go focus on that our next question comes from bond double-oh seven point five Holy shit, really? Yes bond James fucking bond Five he's slightly better don't embarrass me on this question. It's the real James Bond You're given 10,000 gold and made immoral the only thing that can kill you is a hyperintelligence snail that it

always knows where you are. How do you survive? All right so this one isn't a clear stance or anything so we're just gonna roll to see who goes first. I got a 14. Fucking idiot. I got a nine. All right so we get to choose do we go first or second? Stakes feel really low here so at first. Okay. Sure. Fine. Well, you know, I don't know about you, Scam, but I think if I had that much money, I would spend a little bit of time going around finding the right sorcerer for the job and getting me a fancy suit made out of pure salt. Good luck, Snail.

How about you, Scam? Brilliant. I would have never thought of a suit of salt. That's the kind of go-forward thinking that you want in the White House these days. That's me. I'm a little scamp with plans for a future! Frankly, since I'll be living in the White House, I feel like I'll just surround the White House with salt. I'll have somebody, other witch come by and sort of do regular salt replenishment. Also, I can hover, so that's cool. He's not going to be able to get me if I hover.

What else? Yeah, the dads lost their kids. They're pretty bad at keeping hold of their kids. Isn't that weird weird do you want them to have the responsibility of taking care of a whole house I don't know if I would I yield the remainder of my time yeah don't let them talk about us say something good and maybe do something like that you're gonna spend the money on the economy. And they didn't.

Do you want to name people like that? And why did they assume the snail? They talked about love. Why did they assume the snail is bad? There's probably some snails in the audience. Like, they fucked up on this question. I don't cast speak animals. I can talk to the snails.

Maybe mention that. Got it. Three, two, one, go. In order to defeat this snail, I would simply get on a boat. The end. The boat in the ocean, which is full of salt water, would keep the snail at bay. You know what else is keeping crime at bay? Walter the immoral.

Walter, by being in the White House and by showing off his cool style and cool moves, will lower crime and increase education. Dude, guns killin' it. Keep going, keep going, keep going. You have 30 seconds. No, you're so... Be confident.

Hit them, hit them. Just dab. And you know who is sitting here scheming about killing snails? Empowering dark magics to protect them? Walter needs no dark magic to protect him. He is a friend to all and deserves to have his dick sucked 24 seven 365 days a year. Meanwhile, Scam Likely is making plans to do the same thing

with the dick sucking machine, but he doesn't deserve it. So, you know. Time. That was really good, Klein. You were natural with this. I think I have a career in politics in my future. Three, two, one, here goes my rebuttal. You're forgetting that the snail is super intelligent and you're going to need food and clothes and stuff delivered to you with some regularity

So the snail will just sneak on the boat Shut up! It's my time! I will fish from the bounty of the sea! The snail is gonna sneak onto that boat You're gonna need fresh water the snail is gonna sneak onto a boat and get to you eventually How do you know so much about the snails plans? I think you're in league with the snails It's a hyper intelligence that I believe snails' plans? I think you're in league with the snails! It's a hyperintelligence sna- I believe snails have the intelligence to do whatever they

want. Yeah, why are you utilizing snails? You might disagree. You might think snails aren't capable of that, but I know they- I also think snails are very capable. I just want to circle back to the thing about the snails. I know that we've moved on to a new question, but I want to focus more on the snails. Yeah, what you think about, Ron?

Because I think it's about law. And I think that choosing the snail thing. Yeah, what you think about, Ron? Because I think it's about love. And I think that Susan, the snail is hyper intelligent. I know. I look in the snail's eyes, and I'm like, you know everything about me. And that means that you could love me. I'm not talking about sex, blowjob love. I'm talking about the melding of two minds and a heart.

And I just think that I would appreciate the snail. Esther, Ron's mic was off for that time, so just cut all that. Ah! Our next question's from Bibliobri. Bibliobri asks, is it okay to eat leftover food of visually good quality off another group's table when at a restaurant after they leave?

Ah! Let's roll. I, Freddie, have thought about this a lot. All go ahead and roll we rolled it to we rolled a 10 shit Okay, say the question again Is it okay to eat leftover food of visual good quality off another group's table when at a restaurant? Yeah? Yeah You can't have the rest really leave. I assume yes Yes, but eating it at the restaurant, not taking it home, and eating it in shame. Dude, would I...

No, no, no, no. It says you're at a table, can you eat their food? Like, it doesn't mean that you have to eat the food there. I feel like you have to eat the food there. I think it depends on how you define what eat means. I think that's why we're debating. Okay. We're a team, yes, it's okay. Okay.

Damn it. You get to choose, are you first or second? I used to do that shit all the time. Wait, did you, Beth? Like, there'd be like half sandwiches left over where I worked and I'd be like yeah, I'm taking that home Your server is absolutely open season for sure yeah, yeah servers get first dibs. That'll be our We heard that so Mike we're off. That's true. Yeah, I can't have it both ways okay, so are you going first or second?

Okay, we want to go second. Okay. I got a good one. Can I do it? Yeah. I'm gonna be really short, so either we can just let the time kind of ride, or you guys can jump in, but I think this one's a sure thing. Well then maybe we should go first. Yeah, let's go first.

Because that way we get the rebuttal. That way we get the response. We would like to go first. We'll go first. First. You changed our answer, we'd like to go first. Did you change your mind? Okay, you have 60 seconds starting now.

Go ahead, Darryl. Hi everybody. I just wanna say that this question, don't even think about it. Because when Walter's in the White House, whether or not you should eat food off of somebody's plate will be a question of the past. You will all have more food than you have now because when Walter's in the White House, the society will just be better.

Like Glenn said, it'll be great. Crime will be down. Food on all the plates. The end. You know what I was just thinking about, Daryl? What's up, Ron? If we go first, we can take what their position was. Exactly.

No, that's not allowed. And we're smart. I don't know who else says I'm gonna take that away from you if you do it. You guys can have more time because I think it's pretty certain. You guys can have more time because we fucking crushed it. Because this audience has more things to do than listen to us yammer on about food

they don't have to be worried about because they're gonna have so much of it. You're about to hear our opponents talk about why it's okay to eat table scraps because that's the vision for our society that scam likely has. And scam likely. There's not enough food to go around. And so whatever they say, remember that that's really their agenda. Sounds like four dads have never known what it's like to be hungry.

Unlike me and Scam over here, we've had to have table scraps more times than I like to admit myself. Started from the bottom, now we're here. And we're loving it, and we're loving life, and we want to share that love in the White House with all of you. When we have parties, you're going to be able to have all the food that we have. They're promising the same thing that I am. The only difference is they're looking down their noses at you. Also, food waste is horrible, and lots of people go to restaurants or lots of food and then they don't finish it.

And then other people should be able to eat it because it's not bad, it's just unfinished. All food should be used. It's important to have respect for people that don't have the ability to just toss food away as if it's nothing. And also, I think, Scam, it's really important to acknowledge that we decided to answer this question in good faith Because that's what the people of fire room wanted us to do Hey, well, we were bottle not a good one three about two one thirty seconds while scam likely in this right mate We'll talk about food Walter has worked in many bully wugs as a cook in the kitchen Meanwhile scam like you is staging photo op campaigns. I don't think that's true. Working in the kitchen to try and get you to understand, to try and make you seem like

the common man. Do you think everyone who works at Bullywogs is a Bullywog? No. Because that's pretty racist. I think what my friend Gly is trying to say is- I never worked at a Bullywog. You two shut up. You two.

I gotta say, I respect and feel awful for the experience. One more thing. Dragons are the number one food stealers, and these two are pro-dragon. The reason why we have to eat scrap is because dragons are swooping into our villages. They're coming across the borders, and they're swooping into our villages

and stealing all this cheese. And we got to, and they're pro-dragon, and we're not. Their mics are cut. Cut all that ester. Let's see. This is a pretty brutal one from Matt not Matt Matt with two T's not Matt with one team Yeah, I think the daddies have done far more damage to favor and then the alleged scam likely Why should we trust the daddy's at least with scam likely if his name is true?

He's honest about scamming us which side of this one. Do you guys want to take? 15 all right you get to choose whether to go first or second because I think the sides are pretty We say everything yeah, dump the op yeah, we have done bad for favor and that's why Walter's so good and generous Okay, so you're choosing your stances anti dads Okay We dropped a pyramid! We dropped a pyramid! Okay, so you're choosing your stances anti-dads. Well, anti-dad. Okay. So, who are us dads or worse than scam likely? I think second. Yeah.

Alright, you guys get to go first. Your minute starts now. We suck! That's right, we suck! We suck! Look, this isn't about us getting a house. We don't deserve blowjobs or strawberries, but it's not about us. No, never! And we've done terrible, terrible things.

And who hasn't? Yes. Walter is the answer to that. Yes. Walter took on this child without even... He did. He's my daddy. Walter saved this child from us,

the worst fathers in Faerun. We're so bad, we lost our kids. Whoops, they're gone. And we're trying to find them. And instead of looking for them right now, we're doing this debate. Go ahead, tell them something they don't know about me. Look, you know, sometimes people just wanna vote

for a guy who's really obviously bad. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes that's the guy that wins and you know, that's who we are. We're the really bad guy in this race who says all the bad stuff and you can't get mad at him because you already know he's really bad, and that's the position we're taking But Walter is good. But Walter is good. Our minute starts now. First of all we've never done anything bad One of the big things that matters about being bad is never admitting you did anything bad

Yeah, I never done nothing wrong in my whole life. Me neither. Can't pin me on that. No. Secondly, oh yeah They're talking about Walter not the daddies. Who do you think is the first group of people that Walter's gonna invite into that White House? Would you like to be standing outside the White House waiting for your turn to come in on the blowjob machine, only for a pyramid to fall on your head? That would never happen with Scam and Taddy in the White House, let me tell you what. Taddy, take it away. The dads are an unstoppable force of destruction that don't give a f**k about the people of Faerun, unlike us. We loves ya, not just because we wanna ya, Tuzia.

Tuzia? We're from here, not them. Because we live for scamming, and we can't scam if we don't have you fine folks out there to do it with. I also back community, have a bit of fun with ya, yeah? And we'll pay it back tenfold when we're in a White House. But these f**kers, no no no. If it comes down to their kids or you, they're going to choose their kids every time. Again, also not from here.

They're coming over the border. They're just going to bounce. They're illegal immigrants. Guys, you've got to trust me on this one. You have 30 seconds of rebuttal. Pull me back. If I go too far, pull me back. But it's time to activate Dark Henry.

Henry eats a piece of beef jerky. His eyes turn, roll over, and his hand says. Three, two, one. The pyramid never happened, that was fake news, that never happened, no one ever dropped a pyramid, that was a conspiracy, and yeah, we're bad, but you know what? We're honest. You know who we are. They're liars, they're phonies. You can't trust them. And you know, sometimes you need a worse guy to take care of the bad guys who you know, who, come on, give me a break with these guys, these this fucking scamster and this person this they're

bad they're bad news and they suck and you can trust us to be bad but you can't trust them to do anything is they're weak we may be bad but they're weak Walter take the mic time I don't think you should have done that Henry Henry. Henry. Henry is fucking loyal. You know what? Screw all of you. Oh no! No, Henry. Did someone give me a hummus pack I need? I toss you a power bar. I eat the power bar and break down into your skin. Oh no. Next question is from Sparrow, your ass is grass. I have places to be.

What are you going to do about people who walk slowly in front of me? Hmm. All right, you're going to have to be 18. Three. What's our stance? Orcs are beefy if she's a halfling this is a legitimate problem everyone deserves to walk the speed that they want, regardless of race. Passing legs. How about length of your legs? Wait, hold on, hold on.

We have to pick a stance first. Our stance is. Anyway, anyway. I mean, it's kind of an open question. It's an open question. OK, then in that case, we get to answer first or second. Do you want first or second? Second.

You guys get to go first. You have 60 seconds starting. Henry, what are you going to do? No, it's OK. I'm not Dark Henry anymore. No, Henry. What? Go ahead. Go ahead, Henry. Hi, everyone. Henry, what are you going to do? No, it's OK. I'm not dark Henry anymore. It's OK. No, Henry. What?

Go ahead. Go ahead, Henry. Hi, everyone. Henry O'Curr. I'd like to apologize for my last answer. I just, you know, the stress of this election. Henry's on a couch out of nowhere. The stress of this election just really been getting to me,

but there's no excuse for just caving into the worst impulses in your dark, dark heart. I just want to say that in our society and Walter's society, you won't have anywhere to go because everything will be great. You'll get to stop and smell the roses and it'll be walkable cities every and why you know I read this really interesting article about 15-minute cities. Imagine a big road and next to that road another big road and you can go whatever pace you're going there's a road for you. There's all many roads under Walter's Roadship Initiative.

When Walter's in the White House, free rollerblades to anybody who wants them. I feel like you guys still don't really understand what the deal with the White House is, but. Walter will make it happen. 10 seconds left. Because Walter will be so blissed out from getting blown every day.

Post-nut clarity will result in real solutions. Everybody is on their own path. Pick a road for you. Fuck. All right. Let me start. Three, two, one, go. Oh, you know what a 15-minute city is?

It's a city that only lasts 15 more minutes when the daddies show up in it and cause chaos and drop a fucking pyramid on everything. It's so personal. We need an answer on the pyramid thing. We can't keep dodging the pyramid thing. Now regarding walking in front of people, what do we think? Here's the thing.

Everybody in Faerun is so different. If you are halfling, you're real small, but you've got big feet. If you're an elf, you're real tall and you're skinny. If you're an orc, you're just real big all over. You take up a lot of space. We as Faerunians have to be able to observe the people around us and make space for them. And if someone's not going to do that that then you rob them and you go around them That's my take rob them and go around them if they won't fucking move

Yes having a two-tier system where firstly you default to being polite and allowing them the space they need and then Secondly if that doesn't work you rob them case closed you'll the remainder of our time, baby All right, you have 30 seconds to respond three go One 30 seconds. Oh, sorry am I on I was just quickly I just got a little I was just looking at this newspaper here It seems that this is irrelevant, but 95% of pet files support you two anyways Sorry what we talking about I was I was just really disgusted by that fact I'm sure the audience would be disgusted by that fact too in fact if I had to walk anywhere

It would be walking scam likely right to prison for supporting the pedophilia. That's that's all I have to say Scams not gonna respond to that cuz Trump never did Josh Zellers asks should dogs be able to vote we got a six yes Yes, we got a 16 you have to roll high than that to choose your position three is our position yes okay yeah we choose the s you have to choose now now are you going first or second all right our time starts in three two one go of course all dogs are good dogs all dogs are dude all dogs are good dogs all gods are are do- All dogs are good dogs.

Not all gods are good dogs. No, they're all over milk, right? Especially here in Fabrian, where some of you can talk. Am I right? Yeah! That's what I'm talking about! You're just as sentient and intelligent as anybody else. You deserve a vote in this system.

Now the dads are going to have to tell you that you don't deserve to vote. That's a pretty messy thing to make a talk about. The dads are going to tell you you're bad dogs, and we think that should be illegal. No, you're good dogs. It's illegal to have a bad attitude towards a good dog, don't you think? Mm-hmm. I say, I say bad dads. No dads.

Bad dads make naughty puppies. You know what? Fuck it, that's our time. 36 seconds, that's all we needed. It's smoked, guys. What are we gonna do? I think you should answer for this. Every time Amanda shows up, you guys get fucking obliterated. Now it's the dogs starting talking! Henry snatches another piece of meat. To all my dogs!

Dogs are wolves! Wolves kill people! Wolves are bad! Dogs are only here because of our bread! That's what turned wolves into dogs, because we gave them bread, right? That's why they're nice now, but the second we run out of bread, the dogs are gonna... Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry, I think dogs here are like people. That's the problem. Dogs, dogs?

We got the dogs. And you just called them wolves. I saw a movie called Zootopia, and in that movie, there were two classes of people. There were the predators who were now, it's complicated in the movie. I disagree. I disagree. Dogs, go on, vote if you want to. I'll be on Scam's team for this if you want to vote.

You have to come over to my side now. You're on Scam's team now. Okay, well, yeah, if Dog wants to vote, I say let him. Let him vote. He's a good boy, and he's got good opinions. I think that's beautifully said, Ron. Good job. Alright, so that's your time. Now, uh, Ron is on Scam Likely's team. Oh, God. You cannot get him back. Okay.

He teleports to our side of the stage. Yeah, you teleport- Ron teleport to our side of the stage. Okay. We have 30 seconds to rebut. And, Ron? Everyone looks exactly like fucking Nixon in that JFK Thirty seconds, I'm not even going to speak I'm gonna leave the words to a former daddy who has now seen the light named Ron Stampler Ron, why do you think dogs should be able to vote again? We got a chance here.

That's great. Yes. I'm so glad to be representing the team of scam likely Scam cares about dogs because he would kill every other thing ever If he were in the White House. You teleport back to your side. God damn it. You can see that the daddies are duplicitous double-faced liar. Yeah, at least you know, we're scamps We tell you upfront don't we tell you we're scared. Anyway, everyone knows This party is run still on your side. No now he went back

single issue vote fuck can we talk to Walter real fast? What's up guys? Pretty big favors my dude. I'm a little surprised because it sounded like this was just about which one of you deserved to go to this cool house. But they were asking us a lot of tough questions. Walter, you're in the audience. Are the dogs mad at me? He's going to roll perception. They're livid, ain't you? They're fucking tweeting. They're already talking to their birds on their shoulders. I got a question for you What's like? How did you win the primary? What was your like? You're like closing message for that day when they all voted like why do people like you I did free pizza parties every Monday

I'm dying out here, I'm calling dogs wolves. I don't know what I'm doing. I shouldn't be running for anything. We could have said dogs don't need a vote because they got free pizza all the time because Walter already promised that. I can't have been pushing a pro pizza party at you this whole time and now you're just telling me with five minutes left of the debate, Walter, come on. I only barely won. I thought it was a risky strategy. I didn't want to undermine you.

Walter, honestly, I don't know if you deserve this house, but we're going to give her a best shot. Why? We won't die. You've just been sitting here quietly the whole time, we're sweating up here. I don't want to make a mistake and screw myself over, I'm nervous. Scam Lugly's talking in front of the people. I think Walter should answer the next question. Walter, you're the one they love, it's gotta be you. Okay, fine, I'll do it.

Okay. Final question comes from Bibliobri. Oh, they got two questions, lucky them. Bibliobri simply says, they got two questions lucky them Billy brief simply says three words pineapple on pizza. I Roll 11 What do you what do you want Walters team rolls a two okay? So we roll an 11 we get to choose So Walter seems gonna have to argue that you can't put pineapple on pizza. Do you want to go first or second Walter?

What do you want to do remember? This is your big chance to talk about you? There's a perfect segue perfect segment here for this one for your pizza party platform platform, okay? I guess I'll go first. I've got this but I've got all right here We go first of all I'd like to thank the castle for allowing us to use this space Knowledge see every one of you for allowing us to come in. That's not something scam has done. But I want to say quickly that pizza is an interesting topic because every single Monday, for free, you'll all be able to come into the White House and have as much pizza as you want.

Now, there will not be pineapple available, and I have to say this because a lot of people are allergic to pineapple, so we can't cross contaminate the pizza with that because I care about your health. If you want pineapple on its own that's great you'll just have to bring your own it's just not going anywhere on my pizza personally. We will also vegan pizzas, gluten-free pizzas, I'm here to make the party as fun as it can be for everybody whereas my opponents are going to tell you that oh all pizza is good pizza no there are bad pizzas I'm just not gonna serve them they're gonna serve all kinds of

crap and call it pizza because they're scammers. They're going to give you a tire rubber tire and say, Oh, it's a rubber pizza. They're going to screw you over. Scam likely sucks. All right. What the fuck were we doing this whole time? Why are we talking? Rubber pizzas already trending worldwide. Walter, this is a lesson in confidence. You didn't need us. All right. Your last day with your rebuttal fire all at this. Walter, this is a lesson in confidence, buddy. You didn't need us. Walter, your last hit with your rebuttal fire all of us. Oh, that's a good idea.

You'll never see us again. We'll take the fall. It's sad because I'm a businessman, and a businessman does not belong in the White House. Oh, that's good. So we have a minute to argue that you should put pineapple on pizza starting now. Do whatever you like.

Yeah, whatever. It's just food if it makes you Do whatever you like. Yeah, whatever. It's just food. If it makes you happy, eat it. Although, do I have to say, I personally really like the idea of a rubber pizza. So good on you. Well, that was pretty good.

Yeah, weird to shit on other people's taste. There are some species in Faerun that love to eat rubber. Are you not wanting them to come to your house party? What about gemstones? Do gemstones not go on pizzas? Cause I bet I could find you a bunch of dragon folk born that would love some gemstone pizza. Oh yeah yeah I guess dragons don't come to your party either They go with the dragons again

Dragon born ain't big sized dragons you idiot What a shame Fuck off back where you came from No we're going to have every type of pizza Walters right we are going to have every type of pizza at our party because we want every type of fae runian to show up I'm going to do it at least three days a week At least three days just Monday woof wouldn't be you. Yeah, that's enough for us. Yeah, I find that pretty good.

Hahaha. Alright, I got 30 seconds to rebut that. You got this, Walter. Alright. Remember, throw us under the bus. Yeah. Scam likely learned everything from these four men. Oh no.

They have been secretly backing him. Wait. Like the Koch brothers. From the beginning. Dang. And for that very reason, I am disassociating myself from them. You can't do that!

You're just like the dogs who are really wolves! All those racist things are just them saying it, not me, Walter. Sorry, Scam, sorry, they found us out, Scam. I love dogs, I love dragons that are everybody. Scam, what do we do now, Scam? Every bad thing you thought about my campaign, just them, thank you.

What do we do now, Scam? Yes, Scam. You're paying us. Yes, Scam what we didn't get to talk about all the other evil stuff you wanted to do your mics off I'm sorry they didn't hear that part Aaron O'Neill looks at both of you and says uh candidates I would like to thank you for the time you've given us here today thank you Aaron oh thank thank you Aaron oh I guess the other ones aren't gonna thank me we're not the candidates you're've been fired, Aaron. You're running mates, so you are candidates. No, we got fired.

We're not on the ticket anymore. That's fair. Thank you, Aaron. But then he gets disqualified. Well, yeah, actually, yeah, now Walter has no running mate. He's still on the ticket. There's still one. He fired the four of us.

Yeah, baby, it's me. It's me. Glenn. So won't you want us? Won't you want us to be in the White House and get to hear a lot of conversations like this? Glenn, cast mass suggestion. Yeah.

That. Glenn gets up to the. That scam likely hired us and that he's a bad guy. Yeah, Glenn. And he's trying to sabotage. And then you, the viewer at home, are going to roll a wisdom saving And factor that into your vote here's the course of activity Glenn suggests to the listener vote for Walter

And I magically influence up to 12 Okay, I'm gonna reach out to 12 people on our Discord privately, randomly. And each of you are going to have to roll a wisdom saving throw. And that's a wisdom DC 15. Yes, to see if you can resist Lin's mass suggestion. And again, it probably won't change anything

because you're gonna clearly go for the daddies in the first place. Look, as we all know, this race could not be closer. It's all gonna come down to turnout. The margins are gonna be super, super small. It could come down to 12 votes in Faerun or in America, which is why you should go to vote.org and remember to fucking check your registration to vote! Gosh darn it.

Yeah, honestly, that's all we have to say is go vote. I mean, fucking vote for Kamala. Like, don't be an asshole. Yeah. Yeah, she's a cop. Yeah, she's not great on the genocide in Gaza, but Trump actively wants it to happen and he will make it worse. Fucking vote for Kamala, what's wrong with you?

You're listening to us and you're like, hmm, should I vote for? Yeah, yeah, you should. Why haven't you registered already? Jesus. There's not even ads on this episode. That's how much it matters to us. And we live in California.

We're totally exempt from anything bad that's going to happen. So anyway, thank you so much for listening. Please head to vote.org to check your voter registration and vote by mail if you can. Even if you think you're already registered to vote, a lot of purges of voter registration. So please check again and make absolutely sure. And in all seriousness, Donald Trump and his Project 2025 overlords want to ban abortion, roll back protections for LGBTQ people,

and round up immigrants by the millions and put them into detention camps. This race could not be more important. It could not be closer. Your vote could not matter more. So if you care about women's rights, if you care about LGBTQ rights, if you care about human rights, democracy, our fucking planet, planet you need to vote and you need to vote for Kamala Harris

Please vote in your local elections as well with a faint reminder that if Trump does win You probably won't have very many local elections anymore. So Maybe just consider that. How often do you get to say I voted in the last presidential election in American history? So make sure you do, just in case. Alright, thank you so much for listening to us. Thank you Amanda for coming on and debating with us. Thank you Amanda for joining us once again. And thank you, uh,

Thank you America, for stressing us out! To our founding fathers! And with that, we yield the remainder of our time. The End