Dungeons and Daddies - Christmas 2020 - Gifts of the Dad Guys

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

A little bonus scene for the holidays as the dads get into the Christmas spirit! Thanks for listening to Dungeons and Daddies and we'll see you next year!This episode contains profanity and references to alcohol Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups. Basically, all the good stuff. That was a My Dad Wrote a Porno reference. Anyways, content warnings can be found in the episode description. It was the night before Christmas, but you didn't know that at the time because you were in the Fey Room. Well, now I want to make it rhyme. I just did.

Oh, shit. So the rhyming has stopped now. You're in Fey Room, back on Earth. Maybe it's Christmas, maybe it's not. Time is weird like that. But as you were on your way to an adventure with Peyton, let's say as you were on the way to Oakvale, you stopped and camped for the night

and built a little fire. That's the sound of our entire timeline exploding when Anthony drops out. Or maybe it's some other time, who knows? How about a wizard named Saint Nick takes us out of our timeline so we can have this scene and then he throws us back into this scene. Okay, so here's what happens.

You go into an inn and Peyton is like, one of you has underwear underwear that's got like a little Santa on it or something like that just because you miss packed or whatever. The other one is pregnant with God's baby and there's no room at the inn. Yes. There's no room at the inn so you go to the stables. This is it. Yes.

We're all trying to stay at an inn and there's no room so we have to take Peyton and we're all going to go sleep in the barn instead. And then you hear a clatter on the roof. Which one of you guys have to see what's on the roof? what's that sound on the roof one sec gang i'm gonna go see what that is don't open the door it's cold outside you can go as long as you don't open the door don't let the cold air in okay you know it's just they were very rude to us in the inn and they made us sleep out here i just feel like that was like and they didn't discount the rate at all discount the rate they still took our money i'm see who it is. They called me a virgin hoe.

I open the door. I say, who goes there? So from above you hear, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then a large man in a red suit falls off of the roof of the stable and hits the ground. And there's a horrible crack at his neck. It snaps 180 degrees. And he is dead. Oh, oh, no. Henry, you never listened to me.

Look what you, a man died. Because I opened a door where was he i don't even understand how me opening a door killed a guy that's crazy can we sort of uh set aside the dead man outside for tonight and maybe just stay in here and and sort of share what we like about each other and maybe give gifts or something yeah that's a good idea i closed the door i said guys let's just pretend that didn't happen. Let's just... I got some gifts. We're on the same wavelength here. I got some gifts. I thought we should just have a nice evening.

We are so inured to just death in this world. Like, the straight up... While you guys are talking, you don't hear this, but outside, the body deflates and a little pixie comes out and goes, I'm free, finally! Ah, now to give three wishes to the person who killed my captor. Oh, no one's here, I guess.

Oh, wait. She disappears into the night. And this wish can really undo anything, like being permanently sentenced to prison or your kid being given to somebody else. It's one of those kind of wishes that breaks all the rules. Oh, well, goodbye.

Ron, it's pretty crazy that you're thinking about giving presents. Maybe you want to go first and see what we're thinking about it? Whoa, do you guys all get gifts for each other? Oh, that, goodbye. Ron, it's pretty crazy that you're thinking about giving presents. Maybe you want to go first and see what we're thinking about it? Whoa, do you guys all get gifts for each other? Oh, that's so weird. I got gifts for all you guys. I don't know. It's just the snow outside.

It feels like it's been really chilly lately. I've just been kind of in the holiday spirit, you know? A festive mood, you know? What holiday? What holiday are we talking about? It's Christmas. Well, almost. Christ's birthday.

Who's Chris? Why is he a mess no christ matt coming with the pure flex energy well technically it's the evening before the birthday so we don't have to get into it it's just a day that we celebrate because it's the it's the longest night of winter it's cold we give each other's gifts we just you know we're thankful for everybody around here it's just it's the longest night of winter. It's cold. We give each other gifts. We just, you know, we're thankful for everybody around here. It's just a nice holiday. Everybody's got Christmas solstice of sorts, right? You got one. I think it was the 22nd that was the longest night of the year.

Yeah, it's almost like the day was co-opted by forces in history and that our common conception of it has been shaped by consumer culture to begin with. I like to think that, you know, there's a whole lot of folklore out there know, there's a whole lot of folklore out there. There's a whole lot of folklore back where we come from. We all like to celebrate passages of the seasons.

There's even some evermore, too. There's evermore folklore. And there's a lot of religions on earth. Henry, are you calling it folklore? Oh, boy. No, keep going. I'm just really curious what you're telling Peyton. Back where we

come from payton there's a lot of different religions on earth and a lot of different cultures that celebrate various customs that all tend to be kind of at the end of the year like it's a special time of year for a lot of people for a lot of different reasons yes and so in our culture we call it the holidays and you know people have different holidays they celebrate one of which is christmas there's also kwanzaa. There's Ramadan. There's Hanukkah. There's a whole bunch of them. Honda Days. Happy Honda Days.

You can get a great deal on a new car. Oh, sorry, Daryl. I'm sorry. You know, this being the first year without the beast, this is a tough Honda Days for all of us. It's a tough Honda Days this year. One thing, you know, that we all do is kind of to express our gratitude and look forward to the new year, we kind of give gifts to each other. And it's funny because I've been preparing some gifts for you guys, and it sounds like y'all have some gifts that you want to share as well. Oh, shit.

I'll be right back. I'll be right back. And Peyton runs out. Oh, Peyton, you don't have to say anything. I don't want to be a dick. I don't want to be that guy. I'll be back. Okay, well, we should really wait for Peyton

to get back before we exchange the gifts. Okay, I'm here. I'm back. I came back. I got it. I got it. I got my gifts. Guys, we should wait for the tree to appear. Sorry, I don up here. I'm back. I came back. I got it. I got it. I got my gifts. Guys, we should wait for the tree to appear.

Sorry, I don't think I know that one, Ron. How do you celebrate the holidays? Okay, so you go to bed, and then you wake up, and there's a little tree, and then it's got some ornaments on it, and then there are boxes in front of the tree, and then the next day, it's all gone. Well, I've heard of that tradition myself, Ron.

Why don't you take a 30 second micro nap and we'll see what happens on the other side. And I wink to all the other dads. Okay.

So when Ron closes his eyes, I'm like, guys, watch this. This is going to be really cool. And then I cast Grow Plant or whatever it's called. I can't remember it off my character sheet up.

It's a bonus episode. Cut me some fucking slack. Glenn goes, you could have been growing plants this whole time. Glenn, shh, shh, shh. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. And I go razzmatazz. And a little tiny Christmas tree pops up in the ground. It's like, OK, guys, put your presents under the tree.

And like, Ron will wake up. It'll be like a happy holiday moment for him. OK. OK. I put my presents underneath the tree. And then I instantly fall asleep, too. Like, pretend to fall asleep underneath the tree. OK. OK will wake up it'll be like a happy holiday moment for him okay okay i put my presents underneath the tree and then i instantly fall asleep too like pretend to fall sleep underneath the tree okay okay yeah that's good that's good and i put my stuff under the tree and then um i go oh oh what a good microdap to boost my productivity during the day oh geez good life hack good life hacks good life hacks ron what's this wake up ron look it's a holiday miracle oh my goodness wow

merry christmas everyone wow i can't believe it there's a rumor going around that santa wasn't real for a while but now we know who who's the the joke now the not me it's all those guys in high school. Yeah. Well, Ron, all of our presents are under the tree. Maybe you want to start and hand us, you know, I don't know where your presents are, but you want to hand them out and then we'll just all take turns? Okay. So, Daryl, I'll give you your gift. Wow, what a huge box. It is.

It's a huge box. Oh, my God. It's a magic beam. It'll teleport us home. Peyton immediately eats it. Wow, Ron, could you describe the size and shape of this package you just gave me? Yeah. Okay, so it's a cylindrical sort of thing that's hollow in the middle, like a toilet paper roll, except on this roll, there's a-

I've already opened it, like halfway through. I'm just like, the moment you've handed me, I've already ripped it like halfway through i'm just like the moment you've handed me i've already ripped it open well it's just wrapping paper so oh hey oh i shouldn't oh i'm usually so careful to open it so what you do this is a cool gift because it's like a game so you put it around a box and then uh and then you give that box to uh one of your parents oh my god wow wow that's a really neat gift ron gosh i appreciate it hayden's immediately holding his arms out like well then in that case so one of your parents is uh right here i'm giving oh me yeah i got you a present don't worry pain okay Payton. Okay, so. I just bought that one, too.

Henry. Yeah, Ron? I'd like to give you this gift to describe it. It's like a cylinder. It's like a roll, like a toilet paper roll. Oh, wow. Outside, it's got trees and stuff on it. So you like trees. I love trees, Ron. This is a great it's sort of like

a it's sort of like a puzzle too because what you're gonna do is you're gonna take the paper and then put it around a box and then give it to somebody wow cool it's like a neat 3d puzzle slash box decorator you know what i love it ron Thank you so much. Yeah, of course. So, Glenn, I got you something. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like a tube of something, and then you wrap it around. It's paper. You wrap it around a box. Oh, rolling papers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you roll it around a box, and then you give it to somebody. Okay, all right. I think I know exactly where you're going with this as Glenn proceeds to start rolling, testing the papers for rolling abilities. How well does this ignite? The burn good? Well, I've never seen what happens to it after,

but if you wait around, then somebody else gives you a mechanical pencil and a sweater. Okay, well, I'm looking forward to that. Peyton starts passing around cups of cocoa. Hot cocoa. Hot cocoa. Hot cocoa for you. Oh, hot cocoa. Thank you. No problem.

Sorry, continue. Where did you make this, Peyton? Oh, I got it from the inn. I'll take a sip. How's it taste? It tastes great. Henry pretends to sip, but waits for Glenn to sip. It tastes good. It tastes like hot chocolate. Sometimes nice things happen. It's a Christmas miracle.

Who wants to go next? I'd love to hand out my presents as I take finally my first sip of the cocoa and put it down. Let's see what's under the magic tree for some very good dads this year on a brave adventure to save their kids. Ron, since you started, I'll give my present to you. And I hand Ron an envelope and I say, go ahead and open this one, Buster.

OK, and then I open the envelope. So inside you find a piece of paper that says good for a free compliment. Any time. Oh, my God. Ron, you know, sometimes it feels like you get a little down on yourself or like maybe sometimes, you know, just seems like you have a tough time sometimes. So I want to let you know that any time you need a little pick me up, you wave this compliment at me and I'll say something really nice and true about yours truly. And as you can see on the back, that says quantity unlimited, pal.

So use this thing any time. Oh, wow. Thank you so much, Henry. This is better than those things they give out at the car wash or the donut shops. Yeah. You don't even have to get them stamped. It's not a coupon. It's a you pod.

So yeah, go ahead and give it a spin, Ron. Try it out. You can use it whenever you want. So if you want to compliment right now, I could give you one, or if you want one later,

you know, but you do you, I don't want to, you know, you know, use it at your own, your own leisure. I'm going to save this up for only when I really need it.

Cause it's, there's only one there's no unlimited this episode's canon now you gotta use this item as a random point on the adventure be like oh no this did happen while ron was opening the present daryl was scounging under the tree looking for the presence of daryl and he grabbed his from you and he was all excited he was gonna tear it open but upon seeing what henry gave ron he got a little less excited and was like why don't you open it next wait wait wait i see daryl's guard he got his hands on my present for him so daryl what can i say you know i feel like we've really bonded as dads you know over the course of this thing and i really wanted to get

you a gift that mattered so this one is this is from the heart buddy uh go ahead and open it up so it's clearly in the shape of a beer bottle and you open it up and you see like a beer bottle with like a sort of smelly fermented brown liquid in it with like a cork in it and i say that's a homebrew henry oak barrel special pal i've been picking leaves and hops and berries and i've been fermenting this bad boy so you know it probably still needs a little more time in the can like there's some mold in there and i have assumed that goes that must break down at some point in the process but yeah is this supposed to be beer is this like something i don't know about this a beer i don't know it's booch it's a beer booch it's kind of like a half kombucha, half beer, all Henry style. It's a la Henry.

I open it and I smell it. Okay. What should he make? A saving throw? Constitution. Constitution saving throw. Okay. I have good constitution.

Oh, no. I got a four. So that's an eight. That's not going to do it. I feel like you yarf like immediately unfortunately daryl died in a bonus episode i feel like oh oh oh yeah no no no no it smells great henry really you did oh i'm just gonna i'm gonna save this for later and i take a big sip of the cocoa okay the cocoa and i go, this looks so good.

I just, you know, I don't want to get too tipsy tonight. Yeah, you know what? I appreciate it. Cork that baby up because there's some stuff in there that could probably use a little bit more time to break down. That's all I'm going to say. Okay, that will probably help it. I guess, like a barley wine. It's got to take some time.

Sure, whatever that is. Yeah, but let's let it age. Mark that down in your inventory as you now have poison. Yes, I was going to say, is this an item I can use? You now have poison that can kill anything up to the size of a dog. Yes. Henry got Daryl dog poison for Christmas. Great.

Now, Glenn, buddy, I don't approve of all of your hobbies. Let's put it that way. But tis the season to give what people want. So here you go, buddy. And I hand you a present. And it's like wrapped in like a sort of paper, but there's clearly a Ziploc bag in there. I kind of scooch it around a little bit and I open it up. Oh, Henry, what'd you get me?

It's a bunch of those flowers from what was the place we went to with those drug flowers? I don't remember the name of that place. But Henry, why would you do that? Water deep. All right. Can you believe I fucking drug flowers? I don't remember the name of that place, but Henry, why would you do that? Water deep. All right. Can you believe I fucking remembered that? I remembered it's water deep.

Water deep. Thank you. I cannot believe it. I'm on fire. So, Glenn, it's a bunch of those miscellaneous flowers. You know, like I found some stuck to my shoe and there was a whole bunch of them like kind of scattered around the Honda Odyssey before we lost it. Sorry again, Daryl. And so, you know, I scooped it up and I figured, you know,

I can't remember exactly which one is which or what they all do, but you seem to have a pretty good time with this kind of stuff. So here you go, man. And you got rolling papers now to roll a nice doobie for yourself. You know? Henry just straight up gave us campaign items. I know. Hey, oh man, thanks so much, man.

I really appreciate it. You mind if I go next well wait wait daryl i had one more i'm not done hogging the scene yet i had one more present for our dad to be our honorary dad our dad of dad uh payton here you go buddy oh give me give me give me it's a neat safe looking rock i saw this rock and i thought payton because it's nice and it's kind of round and it's got you know we don't have rocks like this on earth so you know treasure it I remember when I got my first rock and it really meant a lot to me kind of is what got me into rock so from one rock guy to a rock star guy you paid in here's a nice safe rock for you well I'm certainly going to remember this forever, too. I also like how.

Hey, Henry, you know, Peyton's not from Earth. So like this rock's pretty normal. Oh, shoot. You know, I always confuse him with Glenn's kids. You know, where did you get it? Did you have a receipt, baby? That's the best part of Mother Nature is she doesn't need receipts. It's a return policy.

You know, whatever you take, just give back in your own way. Hey, Payton, I bet you could skip that rock pretty good. Give it back happily. Henry, my gift to you. I re-gift this most beautiful rock. I was just recently gifted by my friend Henry. I now gift to you. Oh my gosh. It's so beautiful.

And it's so beautiful that the only thing I could think to do is to give it to you, Peyton. Now it's a double gift. You know, you've demonstrated such selflessness that really you should have the rock. I insist. You're a kid. I'm an adult. I've seen lots of rocks. You really proved right now with your generosity that you earned this rock, buddy.

Can't argue with that. Thanks. Good job, Peyton. good job saying thank you okay i'll go i'll go next guy okay do you want to go next daryl's gonna go next i kind of want to get presents last i don't want to give last i'm selfish what can i say i'm a big selfish boy i like my christmas presents here glenn tell you what i'll give you yours first okay all right all right i hand glenn clearly a bottle of beer wrapped in wrapping paper i tear it open being like is this one of the signatures that's right it's santa stout and

it's like he's pointing to his big stout belly i hate that what did you get this art this art is incredible cool looking yeah i know this is my first year doing a holiday brew i hope it's pretty good i just made like one six pack of it but uh you know i had it in the car you had I had it in the car because it was, well, yeah, it's sitting in my car. That's like kind of one of the only places I can like age it, you know, it's a good spot because the Honda, the beast was at a perfect humidity and everything. I feel like there are other ways you could have been helping us. I mean, these must've taken a while. Do we flash back to the moment that the Odyssey was heading into the void when you guys were trying to shoot your way out of the van and there's like a hidden insert that we didn't see before of Daryl reaching

and grabbing a six pack of this Santa beer. Yeah. Oh yeah. This is after that. Oh yeah. You know, it was the only thing I thought that was worth saving for the van. I just really wanted to make sure I got your Christmas gifts. You know, I really wanted to, I didn't want to disappoint you. Well, that's very thoughtful, Daryl. Yeah. So, well, there you go, Glenn. Tell me how it tastes and let's do Henry. Here you go. And I hand Henry also clearly a bottle of beer wrapped in wrap. Henry like makes a big shot of shaking it, being like, I wonder what's in here. I just kidding. It's another beer. This is great. I don't drink myself, but you know, I like looking at it and it'll always remind me. This is like the dumbest gift of the Magi. My thoughtful friend, Daryl.

Thanks, Daryl. I've got a pretty cool rock I could trade for a beer. Ron, and then I hand clearly a bottle of beer wrapped in wrapping paper, but I've wrapped it in the wrapping paper you just gave me. I quickly wrap it. I go, Ron, look, your present was so helpful. Look how great this surprise is. And I hand it to you. Wow.

I've never gotten the the unwrapping uh kind of of gear so i'm gonna unwrap this it's a bottle yeah it's great beer my beer all right well you know what we can all drink it a little bit later well thank you yeah no problem daryl we can all drink your beer and you can drink my beer and we'll all toast the holiday together okay Okay. Yeah. Well, no, that's a good idea, Henry. I feel like I have to do that. Good thing you're bigger than a dog, my boy.

And paid in. And then I hand what is clearly half of a six pack, the remaining three of a six pack wrapped up in wrapping paper. And I handed it to pay me. Give me, give me. And he and he rips it open now i kind of wanted to assist the three beers i kind of want to discuss with his dads i was thinking this is also kind of a gift from my dad frank who's in there and technically is payton of any age he's a muculi right is he eight years old or is he my dad who would be 72 years trust me baby if i drink these he'll see him on the way down you know i don't know that we should i mean maybe a sip you know but even then he's pretty young he's pretty i don't know i don't know drinking a beer with my dad on christmas again you know how about a a compromise i'll pour this beer into somebody else's mug or whatever and i'll

pour my cocoa into the beer and then I'll sip from that while you sip from your beer. So it'll look like we're sharing a beer. That's what she said. Oh, that's fun. I like that. Here's a test because it's really about whether or not the alcohol affects you, Peyton, right? Because we don't really know how a monkey light works. Right, right, right. Here, take a sip of this and I toss him

Barry's brew. Oh, jeepers. I don't know that we should. He takes a sip and he immediately dies because he is the size of a dog. He has zero hit points. He is unconscious. Oh, jeez. What did you do, Daryl? He's a little

kid. You can't give him away. Wait a second. You wanted me to just kill Peyton and you're mad at me? You clearly served poison henry what were you doing nine times the size of payton and i i blast payton with a big healing spell and i give him healing word and healing word is you okay bro i'm never drinking again oh no oh good then you learned something you learn never to drink alcohol all right guys let's have a toast no as henry's about to cast a spell,

just like in the famous last movie of Twilight, I suddenly like flash my eyes and I realized what would have just happened if I didn't detoss Henry's brew to Peyton. I go, no, you guys are probably right. That would be fucking awesome if we could do like a huge everyone gets one huge fight yeah the entire group gets one and daryl just used it just used it on this wow that would be wild canonically died

you're right pay to tell you what i'll hold on to these until you become 21 or until you die and you become my dad my dad again so it's a hell of a fucked up thing to say but all right yeah i can get behind that like in the last movie twilight i am a grown man wolf and printing on a mission all right glenn way to get well i i mean glenn looks very reluctant to do anything he's like okay i guess that's uh does that wrap it up or what uh he's like a kid rummaging around through all the wrapping paper to see if there's one more gift you know what i mean like he's like so it looks like we got daryl's presents they all got around and pain's presents got around my presents rod's presents yeah i guess i guess that no glenn no glenn didn't get us anything payton got his hot cocoa glenn where's your presents yeah it's christmas okay hold on glenn marches outside with ron's wrapping paper and

like a bag like his backpack like whatever the sack he's been carrying stuff in and then he comes back in with several hastily but neatly wrapped presents and they are all like perfect boxes i'm like here just here henry here ron daryl we should have added this to gl Glenn's guilty verdict I was literally thinking like we should go back and add this I got you uh I got you guys um some stuff okay so here's the deal should we open it all at once yeah sure why not it's all right I opened my gift I opened my gift are you open my gift as you guys are opening it Glenn kind of explains like so when you remember back during the pyramids like um i knew basically told

doug to grab like there's a fries section of stuff that's like stuff they keep in the back and i kind of told doug to go grab those i was kind of hoping to well whatever i guess you guys could have these and as you open them up you each have received henry receives a geforce 3090 TI Founders Edition. Daryl receives an EVGA RTX GeForce 3090 FTW3 Gaming Edition. Ron receives a gigabyte GeForce RTX

3090 Vision OC Overclocked Edition. And then Payton gets a shake weight. Hell yes. He immediately starts using it. Oh, hell yeah, but he gets a shake weight. Hell yes. He immediately starts using it. He's like, oh, hell yeah, but he gets a swole. Wow. Anyway, I guess those are great for like...

These are really expensive. Holy cow. Yeah, I guess they're good for like Bitcoin mining and like there's like real-time ray tracing and stuff. They're really, I guess, hard to find right now. I'm going to throw this into my monster rig back home. I'm going to be playing Myst at frame rates. You can't even believe.

Oh, yeah, sure. Civilization 2. Sure, fucking great. Maybe I'll kick that one up to 1024 by 800 resolution, you know? I'm going to crank some anti-aliasing up, you know? I've heard that's a thing you can do. Boy, oh boy. I bet Grant would like this.

Grant's Fortnite would be much better. Will these work on automatic cat feeders? Yeah, whatever. I guess I'll push frames for a cat feeder too. Sure, why not? Anyway, I hope everyone enjoy your graphics cards.

Oh, shoot. I spilled cocoa on mine. Oh, jeez. I already took it out of the box. I was such a kid. You think this will still work with cocoa on it, Glenn? Hold on.

I'll dry it off over the fire and I hold it over the fire to dry it off. Glenn just goes... All right, so everyone go ahead and roll a off. Glenn just goes. All right. So everyone go ahead and roll a constitution. Oh, I don't want to. This is a new low. I just googled constitution and got the constitution of the United States of America. And you rolled it and you rolled it. So what did it say? I got a 1789 on my constitution check.

All right. My constitution roll seven plus one, eight. 14 plus seven. So 21. I got a natural 20. Henry? Henry got a 14. Ron and Daryl, nothing feels unusual to you. Henry and Glenn, you feel a very large,

very powerful toot heading through your digestive system down to your butt. And as you feel it, Peyton goes, I also got you all a gift. I got you a lesson. And that is,

and he turns like an anime character and looks at Henry and Glenn. He says, never trust Peyton. And both of you let out a very large, very loud toot. And he goes,

happy fun. Henry looks at Payton and says I have a lesson for you young boy. Never bet against a vegan when farts are on the line. And I turn and I rip a monster head. Well listeners here's your big ol' lump of coal.

Oh no no and then the fire fucking burns the barn down. You have to run away into the night. Peyton hangs onto a chain link fence. And the fart blows his face off. And then you go back to Peyton before you open presents. And he goes, so that's what would have happened if I put fart juice in your coke.

I guess I won't do that. Which I did. Oh, no. We wasted Peyton's rewind time. Yeah, he was at his own party, his own special party, and he used it already. We only have three more rewinds. You know what, Forrest? Such a dumb thing that we just slapped together for Christmas.

I will say we did get three items and three rewind times. This was a pretty effective episode, really. Thanks for listening to Dungeons and Daddies, everyone. Hope everybody has a better year next year. Happy holidays to all. And to all a good... I was thinking of something that rhymed too, but I can't. Dang, you hate to see it.

He sprang from his sleigh, gave the team a gift. We came up on the spot because our brains are just adrift, and I heard Santa exclaim. Yeah, keep going. You can get you through this. Go all the way through the other side. It'll make it funny again.

What was it? What is it? I heard Santa exclaim, ho, ho, ho, ho, whoever threw that pencil, your mom's a ho. You rhymed ho with ho whoever threw that pencil your mom's a ho you rhymed ho with ho okay alright then we'll take it

happy holidays happy holidays happy holidays Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad