Dungeons and Daddies - Ep. 53 - The Roc

Episode Date: March 9, 2021

The dads try and escape the Meth Bay Supermax.This episode contains profanity, sexual content, and violence.Get Beth May's poetry book! The Immortal Soul Salvage Yard on Amazon or Barnes & NobleSupport the show on Patreon!Get merch and more at our website!Follow us on Twitter @dungeonsanddads!Check out the subreddit!DM is Anthony BurchDarryl Wilson is Matt Arnold (@mattlarnold)Henry Oak is Will Campos (@willbcampos)Ron Stampler is Beth May (@heybethmay)Jodie Foster is Jimmy Wong (@jfwong)Glenn Close is Freddie Wong (@fwong)Theme song by Maxton WallerCourtney Thérond is our Content ProducerAshley Nicollette is our Community ManagerChad Ellis did some additional editingRobin Rapp is our transcriberCover art by Alex Moore (@notanotheralex)Send us stuff and get in contact: https://www.dungeonsanddaddies.com/contact Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello, my name is Glenn Close. I hear the daddies fighting, they're fighting Liz Warden I ain't seen my son named Nick since, I don't know when I'm stuck in Meth Bay Prison, time is dilated But these cards don't know that these bars can't hold me in I finally escaped from inside the doo-doo zone Tricked them all and busted out with my riding toe But I went back for some armor and passed out on the floor I was 36 on Tuesday, and now I'm 54

Don't see price When I'm ready, ready for the big ride baby welcome to dungeons and daddies not a bdsm podcast and we're back baby freddie's back baby he's that man the voice that launched a thousand ships back at the top of the hour ladies and gentlemen my name riffs nice the natural order has reasserted itself life finds a way this is a dungeons and dragons podcast about four dads from our world flung into a world of magic and fantasy on a quest to rescue their lost sons along with their cool friend glenn along with their cool friend glenn me that's me friend Glenn. Me. That's me. That's Bud. Yeah. You still gotta cuck yourself

verbally. Ha ha. My name is Freddie Wong. I play Glenn Close, the rock and roll buff bard of the group. Oh my god. Oh yeah, that's right. Buff bard. Oh man. The over-leveled buff bard of the group. The buff bard. I hate it. Elder. The elder statesman. Wait, did he level up a bunch? Yeah.

He didn't level up in jail at all, but his strength has increased a little bit. In one very specific circumstance, his strength gets plus one point. This week's Glenn fact, Glenn is no stranger to impersonators, pretenders to the throne, as it were. Back in our world, he had a three-year period where...

Been there. Podcast over. Bath there. Podcast over. Beth wins. Game over. Oh, God. There she is, the best podcaster on the show. Where he was locked in Mortal Kombat

with a band called the Ben Rose Christmas Quartet. Oh, no. Which played like Christmas classics in like an actual string quartet form. And he's like, this person's harshing my bookings. So over the course of incredible sabotage, including like buying out the Ben Rose Quartet's URL out from under them so that it would redirect to his website and like all manner of shenanigans. Basically, let's just say the ben rose quartets mostly doing wedding gigs now and that the king of mall music reigns supreme

wedding gigs must pay more than mall music i have to imagine if you're a top tier wedding band no absolutely no i'm sorry no because jimmy no jimmy congratulations jimmy by the way a married man mr is jimmy long i thought you're gonna be like congratulations jimmy I'm sorry. No, because... Jimmy, no. Jimmy, congratulations, Jimmy, by the way. A married man. Mr. Jimmy Wong. I thought you were going to be like, congratulations, Jimmy, a wedding singer. Hi, everybody.

This is Matt Arnold. I play Daryl Wilson, a stay-at-home coach dad who became a barbarian upon entering this magical world of adventure and danger and spells and whatnot. So a little quick dad fact i was trying to get back to some domestic life for daryl it's been a while so daryl has gotten very good at bacon those chelsea buns and it's because one day he was like you know those chelsea boys they've been so nice as i'm always there early in the morning i haven't heard about the chelsea boys in a while yeah i'm gonna make some chelsea buns he had realized that chelsea buns are like sticky

buns he likes sticky buns so one morning he spent all morning trying to make the perfect chelsea buns after a few batches he finally got a good batch he went to the bar hung out with the boys when he came back all of his other batches were gone and what had happened is carol came back every month somebody's supposed to bring breakfast and she's like oh my god daryl must have made these buns knowing i was supposed to bring breakfast to the work this morning. So now Daryl is stuck every second Monday of the month. He has to make Chelsea buns for Carol because they were such a big hit. Oh, so he never let her on.

No, no, no, because nobody can know about the Chelsea boy. So he totally played along like, yeah, absolutely. This was for you. I'm so thoughtful. She can't ever know my boy's secret. Also, I have a very quick dad fact because you guys didn't let me do a dad fact because you're all jealous about my beautiful baby girl so excuse me so i have another dad fact really quick so the second dad fact is just a little thing about grant recently when grant wakes up he takes a book from his shelf and he starts reading it oh no that's dorothy and she's only two and she's already doing that shit just happened

my daughter's the best how to own daddy on the internet someday me and my wife now are just watching the baby monitor just watching our baby girl take a book off her shelf she wakes up grabs a book sits back down and is reading by herself two years old I've been on your side I have been like with you I love babies babies. Dot is incredible. So cute. This is where we go our separate ways. I cannot have you monopolizing the podcast with things that are like supposed to be about the podcast. The farther away you get from me, the farther away you're from the most perfect little human being on the planet named Dorothy.

I'm just happy where I am. Don't worry about it. That's all. I'm a real dad. Okay, Matt. No, worry about it. That's all. I'm a real dad. Okay, Matt, no, no, no, real question. Does Dot genuinely understand what she's looking at at her age or is she just doing it? Oh, absolutely. Is she looking on the monitor being like, they think I'm so fucking smart right

now? Oh, I know they're watching me. Oh, God. Like, how hard are you getting played? I want to know. I mean, that'd be incredible if she's trying to play us. That's like a whole level of intellect I couldn't even possibly imagine that to. I mean, babies are brilliant. Like, I don't doubt that. let us know when she's reading infinite jets so i can come over and explain to her oh you'll know she'll let everybody know when she's reading hey everyone i'm will campos i am the official voice actor for henry oak the fictional character

on the podcast dungeons and daddies i'm gonna get straight to it. Henry is a crunchy, munchy, hippie, druid, nature granola, rockin' Birkenstock, rockin' hippie, nature druid dad. And this week, I got a little bit of notice on Twitter for something that happened in last week's episode, wherein Henry was able to say that Frankenstein was his favorite monster while in the zone of truth, which led to a lot of questions about like, well, if he's in the zone of truth, how can he lie about Frankenstein? I thought Frander couldn't tell a lie. And so I thought I'd clear this up because my dad fact this week is the fact that the name of the monster is Frankenstein.

Oh, here we go. Oh, no. All right. All right. What's the movie called? I never thought this would be how somebody gets canceled on our podcast. But here it is. What's the movie called where they make a girlfriend for Frankensteinstein is it called the bride of frankenstein's monster no it's called

the bride of fucking frankenstein abbott and costello meet frankenstein dr frankenstein isn't even in the fucking movie wolfman meets frankenstein i'll stand with will nowhere in the book does it clarify the monster's name so nowhere nowhere does it specifically say he's not named Frankenstein. Don't use air bud rules on this. I believe that you can absolutely agree. You can have two names. You can be the monster. Your dad can be Dr. Frankenstein.

And your name can also be Frankenstein because people call you Frankenstein. It's like the DeLorean, right? We don't say like, actually, it's DeLorean's car. DeLorean is the guy that made the DeLorean. It's a DeLorean, right? We don't say, like, actually, it's DeLorean's car. DeLorean is the guy that made the DeLorean. It's a DeLorean. Frankenstein's his surname, so he would take his surname. Yeah, like, please, Dr. Frankenstein is my dad. Call me Frankenstein.

He's Adam Frankenstein, and it goes by Frankenstein. You know people in your life who go by their last name, you fucking liars. Let me ask you one question. fucking liars let me ask you one question do you think the song frankenstein by the edgar winter group is about fucking dr victor frankenstein or is it about the monster you think the sixth synth wrists are referencing someone with a phd fuck i healed the remainder of my time hello my name is beth may aka may just my surname. May's monster, which is what happens when I get a little grouchy, a.k.a. the only legal person allowed to play Ron Stampler. Legally the only performer of Ron Stampler. There is a bootleg illegal one that we do not speak of.

I say it like Ron Stampler, emotionally detached stepfather and rogue. Fun fact about Ron this week, he never went on a honeymoon with Samantha, at least in any official capacity. He thinks that they've been on a permanent honeymoon because he likes honey and the moon exists.

Very good. So he'll make these references on like full moon nights when they're having like i guess honey or something on something like oh honey in the tea we're still in the honeymoon phase i like how he's so lazy on the explanation of the moon it's like why is it called honeymoon well i like honey and the moon uh i mean it exists so yeah that's yeah it tracks i love it also just to peek behind the curtain really quick just for the fans who are listening there's nothing going on behind the scenes legally.

I don't know why everybody's so paranoid about who could possibly play them or steal their identity. There's no deal happening behind the scenes. Zooey Deschanel is going to take over the part of Ron in a couple episodes. Oh, shoot. Sorry, Beth.

I didn't want you to find out this way, but you've been recasting. I know. I know you guys have been looking for a quirkier woman. Just not quirky enough. A real shoegazer. For some reason, Ron sings three times more.

Freddie said he had a quirky woman, Fred. You're like, okay, as long as she's at least this quirky, she can be on the show. When they found out I couldn't play ukulele, they cut me off the podcast. Ron doesn't roll dice anymore. Ron rolls ladybugs. All right, fifth wheel. Go. I was gonna say, actually, you know, representation sometimes benefits you because

I don't have a Zooey Deschanel to compare to me. Like, that just doesn't exist yet. Maybe I get to be Zooey Deschanel in my universe. Do you want to be the male Asian Zooey Deschanel? I don't know. Maybe for like a day, at the very least. I feel like that doesn't wash off once you've made that your persona. What's up, everyone? I play the fictional father, Jodie Foster.

Jodie is a highway cop turned paladin in this universe. So Jodie is a self-deterministic human being. Indeed. He had a lot of insecurities, though, about his nickname growing up and just his name in general. After all, he has the exact same name as the famous award-winning actor jodie foster so he's tried writing it with a y he's done the old ie at the end freddie as a real human understands his pain oh yeah he's gone by joe joey joe c joe b joe d you know that kind of thing and then finally joseph worked and he liked it he felt like wow i'm getting some respect. I'm like an adult.

Most importantly, a girl liked him. How about, how about? So that was the reason why Joseph worked. But canonically, Jodie also, you know, is in the universe when Friends was like playing on the air when he was growing up. And at one point, the character of Jodie gets convinced by his friend Chandler that Joseph Stalin would be the right name for him to take to become a really popular actor. Because a name change is all an actor needed. And then Jody got mocked at school for being called Joseph

because everyone started calling him Joseph Stalin. Wow. So he had to go back to Jody. Kids really plugged into Friends. Yeah. Damn, yeah. Dude, everyone at the school watched Friends. It was just the show of the moment.

Joe's like, why is everybody calling me Joseph Stalin? They're like, I guess you don't watch Friends. I was like, wait, what? What's going on? He never watched Friends himself. He was just subject to just belittling because of a show he never understood. Yeah, no one told him life was going to be that way.

Nice. Hi, I'm Anthony Burch. I'm your dad. Hi, dad. So today, instead of a dad fact, I'm Anthony Birch. I'm your dad. Hi, dad. Hey, dad. So today instead of a dad fact, I'm going to do a little new corner called Please Recommend Something to Me, Daddy, or to shorten it Please Wreck Me, Daddy. And so...

Love it. If you haven't played like a jigsaw puzzle in a while, I found them on Amazon. They're called Magic Jigsaw Puzzles or something like that. They're like a thousand pieces. They're obscenely difficult, but they're designed by game designers and magicians, and there's an envelope inside the puzzle box that says

don't open this until you finish the puzzle. And apparently, the jigsaw puzzles have twist endings now. What? That's something I've been working on. That's pretty cool. I'll let you know if the ending turns out that way, but I just want to let everybody know that that's... So you haven't done one yet. No, I'm like halfway through and it feels really good to put the pieces in somewhere and feel like I'm actually

accomplishing something in my life, something concrete that I can point to and go, look what I've done. Meanwhile, I bought a child spirograph on Amazon the other day and I've had a great time with it I love we just got the news story that millennials are having less sex than ever and living with their parents and aunties, like I'm doing puzzles. Our generation just got

to the age of 60 before anybody else, faster than anybody. Normal millennial plays video games and doesn't have sex. I got a vasectomy and I do jigsaws.

Come the fuck at me. He had me birch life any percentage speed run. So, the last time we left you, you were in the process of breaking Glenn Close out of the Meth Bay Supermax prison. Glenn had sort of simultaneously broken himself out, helped you with a fight against Elizabeth Warden, took off your face-off boots, got you all of your gear back, and then crucially used his bardic inspiration to cause a riot in the Meth Bay Supermax. Jody, your son and Peyton are upstairs in general population, presumably dealing with the consequences of the riot. And right when we left off, you had received a phone call from your lovely wife, Morgan Freeman. So would Glenn see the phone, like the caller ID on this?

Probably not. Okay. You answer that, loser. Honey, what's going on? Nothing. I was just checking in to see how the whole finding our kids quest is going, if everything's okay. It's weird to do the time you want me to.

Like, I literally just hung up. I gotta call you again. Like, it's, I don't know. How you doing? We are pushing through. It's the same as last time. Another hurdle, but we're gonna get through it, and we're gonna get our boy out safe. I promise.

Okay. Do you want me to, like, not call you anymore? You sound like a little... No, no, no, no, no. It's just the current moment's just the current hey hang up man we got a prison ride to get through come on jody who are you talking to we're in the middle hang up it's my wife oh your wife oh you that makes sense you would have a yeah um well maybe we can walk and talk somebody had to make that kid oh gosh i didn't even think about that. Oh, jeez. Honey, they're babbling again. We have to get upstairs

and there's a lot in between us and our son and everyone right now and we got to help them out. So I got to call you back. Hey, Jody, remind me

what your wife's name is again. Thank you, Beth. Morgan. Glenn is getting more suspicious and more confused by the minute.

Okay, Glenn, a brief aside, my dude, can you come here for a second? Yeah. What's up? Clonk, clonk,

clonk, clonk, clonk, clonk, clonk. Daryl, you come here too. Okay.

I don't want to leave Ron out. Hey Ron, get over here. Yeah. Okay. Jody, why don't you wrap up with a Morgan? We're going to just catch Glenn up to speed here real quick.

Hey, okay. Everyone's going on. Glenn, don't freak out. Okay. We're all really happy to see you and we're all here here for you, and we all love you, and we all support you. But Jody is Nick's new dad, and I'm pretty sure.

What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, that's what the court said. Remember, they said they were going to send you to prison, and that you were going to be Nick's dad. The courts say shit all the time. It doesn't mean anything. The laws aren't real. Glenn, listen. I put my hands on your shirt.

Glenn, you're in prison, right? They said that would happen, and that happened, right? So? They also said you're no longer going to be Nick's dad. Okay. So that did happen. But Nick is still here. So Nick needs a dad.

So the dad that is now not you is that guy, Jody. He's dad. He's Nick's dad. It was really confusing at first. Did something happen to Nick? Oh, uh, yes. Um, listen. What the fuck?

Let's get out of here. I'm going to tell you this buddy It's getting me kind of choked up But I'm just gonna come out and say Your son Sucks now he's awful God oh god I lean in he's a cop

Glenn grabs Ron by the collar You say that shit to me one more time As you grab Ron by the collar Glenn you feel a familiar feeling of something scaring up your chest. And the rest of you see a small rat sort of perch on Glenn's shoulder and then face Glenn and wave its arms in the air and go squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. Like it's trying to calm you down. Oh my gosh, a little rat buddy. Who's that?

Who's that little guy? He's got a little rat friend? What's that about? Sorry, you got a lot going on. We're throwing a lot at you right now. You have a rat? This is my boy. He helped me get out, right?

I hold my fist for a little fist bump with the rat. Squeak. He daps you back. Oh, nice. Is he saying something to you? What is it? What's his name? Me and Nick Jr. here have an understanding.

Oh, my God. That is so sad. Oh, no. Oh, no. Daryl's getting really sad. Anyway, come on. Let's go. What are we wasting time for? Jacking our jaws and talking on phones? We got a prison ride to get through. Yeah, we. Daryl's getting really sad. Anyway, come on, let's go. What are we wasting time for?

Jacking our jaws and talking on phones? We got a prison ride to get through. Yeah, we'll deal with our feelings later. Let's keep going. I gotta go. It looks like everyone's about to move. Okay. Love you very much, honey.

Okay, smooches. Ugh. Nothing worse than cutesy sign-offs on the phone. Come on, guys. Let's get out of here. Just real quick. You know how this is a prison, but it's also where they get a lot of work done. And it seems like the best intersection between weapons and business is a prison warden office.

So I'm going to go around here, see if I can get any sort of weapons that might be weapon-like. Ooh, is Ron going to get a weapon upgrade? I just want this letter opener, honestly. Because how character we got all of our weapons back, right? You did. Yeah, everybody has their normal stuff. And Ron has a letter opener. Okay, wait, is there a way that I can get like, not brass knuckles, but like, what if like I fucking like cut the paper shredder in two and put the teeth things on my knuckles?

And I was like, I got shredder knuckles. Like Wolverine? Yeah. Okay. We have to tape it on, right? Let's say with the group of you here and all of your strength, it's more or less trivial to remove the teeth from the paper shredder. How are you going to fix them to your fist? Ron, here's some scotch

tape over here. It's just a big roll of double-sized scotch tape. Daryl being a wannabe coach quickly does sports taping and just freaking tapes those bad boys right to your knuckles. You cannot hold anything now, though. Your hands are taped. No, you can't.

The tape goes across your palms. Okay, yeah. Then that happens. You now have the worst bargain basement cosplay Wolverine claws humanly possible. This is a thrill. Love it. How do they feel, Ron? Sick.

They're cold. A little cold. They're cold? Well, I mean, that's not on me. Don't warm up with your hands. Okay. I'm just saying I'm pretty good at that whole sports tape thing. Okay, fine. I grabbed the rock that says you, a little cold. They're cold? Well, I mean, that's not on me. Don't warm up with your hands. Okay. I'm just saying I'm pretty good at the whole sports tape thing. Let's go! Okay, fine.

I grab the rock that says you're a shitty mom. Okay. I'm just gonna take this memento that a kid made for me. We're talking about Spike. At the very least you know that it means something to her, so it's an insult on top of injury. Wow, dude. You don't know why I'm taking it. Okay, can we go?

Let's bust out of here, guys. We gotta get to it. Let's do it. We wanna go up to Gen Pop. We wanna go up on floor. As you ascend to general population, you see chaos abruing. You see that all of the cell doors are open. People, while they still have their face-off boots on, there's nobody downstairs manning the stations.

So they're just running around, just trying to beat on guards. The vomit bird is circling up high looking down on you like, should I vomit? Should I not? And it's just sort of going around in circles. There are guards being thrown off of the catwalks across the panopticon. Hell yeah, dude.

Why don't you roll perception or investigation to see if you can spot your kids in this mess? All right, all right, all right. Five plus four, nine. Yeah, you don't see shit. What about the others? My visor's in the way. 19. alright, alright. 5 plus 4, 9. Yeah, you don't see shit. What about the others? My visor's in the way. 19. I got 17. I got a

21. Payton! Dad boy! So when you say dad boy, a couple of people that are not Payton turn to look at you, but you also hear in the distance, Daddy son! And you can see Payton has a shiv and he's like slashing, but like at the air, like he and Nicholas are both being pretty much ignored.

Payden clearly wants to get involved in the fracas. And Nicholas is just walking around with his hands on his hips going, you put him down right now. You put that. This is an officer of the law. And just like complaining and like looking really flustered and throwing up his hands in frustration. There they are. Payden, put that down. Just hide.

I'm assuming they can't hear us right now either. I'm sorry, Daryl. He heard Daryl shout of Payton, but you guys are on the opposite side of a floor, basically. Same floor? Yeah, for simplicity's sake, let's just say, yeah. Are they in danger? They are close to a bunch of people

that are throwing haymakers and blades and doing a lot of stuff. So they're certainly in danger from possibly collateral damage, but nobody's targeting these two children because they look as harmless as harm can be. I had a character remind me, how did dinner time start with a bird?

Was there like a bell or something? The guards dinner time and then it just started okay so daryl puts his hands he goes dinner time it's dinner time bird you look like you're wondering if it's dinner time and we're all pretty hungry that's why we got we're hang we're hangry down here that's why people are getting angry so like dinner time roll uh performance about accurate to the performance I just gave. It was an eight. So the bird looks down at you and shakes its big old beak. As like some debris like flies upward and the bird's like, and like flinches backward from it.

It seems scared of coming down and vomiting. Glenn walks forward, stunned into the fray, looking up at the sun and being like, this is the first time I've seen it. Like he's like looking at his hands in the sunlight and just like briefly mesmerized you like nicholas cage and con air uh sure yeah you're like feeling the breeze in your face like smiling real big think about that bunny you're gonna take home to your son yeah exactly like he's sitting there while all this is going around yeah

joe's just gonna start barging ahead and like looking at daryl being like you're the biggest guy here let's go gets in front of grabbing his hand and pulling him because I need the body. The moment you grab my hand, I'm like kind of like a toddler. Like, I can walk myself. And yes, I create a barricade. I start running in front of you. I notice them pass me. And then I want to get behind and also like help push through to wherever they're headed.

Okay. Give me a strength check, Daryl. With my left hand. Yes. Okay. Because since you're pushing on Daryl with your left hand, that means, Daryl, you get advantage on your strength check. Ooh, I think I do anyways as a big boy barbarian.

Oh, sure. Double advantage. D-d-double. Here we go. That's a 18. So with an 18, you manage to barrel a couple of convicts out of your way. They fall to the ground. As you clear past them, you get next to Payden and Nicholas.

And a guard that is thrown from the floor above you like lands between you and them it immediately speaks into her gauntlet it goes the new ones are loose they've got all they're gonna keep running i run straight into like i don't stop go ahead and give me another strength roll see if you can knock her out of the way entirely oh 21 whoa okay yeah you just like boom and like bounce her away like you're a video game character. Basically she just bow and like flies off to the side. So I go, thanks for the clear Daryl. Good thing we practiced this earlier. Right. And I strut up to Nick, like I've been planning this for years and I hold my arm out. I'm like, what's wrong, Nick pushing too many pencils.

And I hold out expecting a predator high five. So as you raise your extremely buff left arm to do a Predator high five to Nicholas, he just looks at your arm and then to your eyes and then like with a squint and a shrug, he goes, what are you doing? What is this? Predator. The movie?

I haven't seen that movie. What do you mean? That was like our favorite movie. It was like a Friday movie. It's rated R and it's not about the military in a positive light, so my dad and I don't watch it. I literally stagger back as if I've been hit

by like a thousand punches at once. That's psychic damage for sure. I think, yeah, right? Roll a D6 of psychic damage. I take two damage psychically and I finger tut to Peyton, give it to me straight, P-Man. What's actually going on here?

And he finger-tuts to you. Peyton, you can just speak out loud. We're all here. Glenn, we should all talk this out. Don't listen to him. We're in the middle of a prison, Ryan. Why don't we have finger-tut conversations? Yeah, just don't listen to him.

You're the only person I can trust. Peyton, son, don't finger-tut. He says, I did learn finger-tutting just to not use it. And then he finger-tuts to you. Okay, so this is going to be kind of a shock, I know know but nicholas and this takes a while he goes by nicholas now he's been raised by this other guy by jody and he's different he's kind of a narc he wears like khakis daryl picks up payton and stands in front of him he's like payton for god's sake just speak out loud please okay so yes nicholas is the son of jody foster this is nicholas foster

and as you could tell the douche apple did not fall far from the shit tree what i called him like i sees him payton that's rude i'm not saying i disagree with you it's just rude it's rude it's like how dare you what are you talking about he wouldn't even let me give him a shiv that's how much of a dark this boy is. I thought he would make me a target. I'm gonna grab Jody by the collar and pin him up against the wall. Oh, shit. I'd be like, who the hell are you? Well, okay, first of all, Jody, are you going to- Yeah, I can hear it right

when he finally says it out loud, but it doesn't tell me much. I'm just very confused, so I don't think I actually oppose what happens here with Glenn. Okay, great. Ron looks around and says, hey, could you guys give us the room? We've got some, uh got some fatherly issues. Roll intimidation with disadvantage.

Oh my gosh, please. Six. An elbow hits you directly in the face, Ron, and your nose breaks. Oh no. Daryl looks for who swung that elbow.

It's a very large guard in a very large suit of armor. I say, okay, you know what? That's enough. And then Henry casts Wall of Fire, which allows me to cast a 60 foot long 20 foot high and one foot thick ringed wall

of fire whoa and so i'm just gonna put up like a wall of fire between us and the rest of the riders and be like this is our conversation zone this is a private room we're not part of the right just turn this into a fight you just turn this into conversation? You just turned this into the octagon. Yeah, if it's a 60 foot radius ring of fire, then you have definitely included the guard that just elbowed it, Ron. At least three inmates.

I can make it as big as I want. So I put up a thing between us and everyone else. I say, this is a private zone. Okay, this is just for us to have a conversation. I have an insane reference here. Has anyone played the

game jazz ball no when you make the wall split to separate the balls oh jazz ball yeah and you have to like put a wall to split it oh my god jazz ball wow so what you're saying is that you are playing jazz ball with this wall of fire to only encompass the balls in this corner which is us i don't like i feel you gotta roll for that that is so specific we'll should play a round Jezball with this wall of fire to only encompass the balls in this corner, which is us. I don't like I feel you got a role for that. That is so specific. Will should play a round of Jezball to see how many guards get within the thing of fire. Will, do you have easy access to Jezball? Jezball free web arcade.

Should I record my screen? How do I do this? Will is now sharing his screen for an online version at free web arcade dot com for the game and it just says not secure next to me looks like a old flash game almost amazing this isn't filled

with bad ad all right here we go 30 seconds later will is about to fail right now you got one life left I'm so stressed out you guys gotta give me a fucking break you couldn't even get daniel three balls fuck you fuck you henry spell works by rolling

a dice not by playing a fucking video game anthony how many guards are in with us all right so you got one big ass guard the one that elbowed ron in the face and then you've got another guard that came over when i saw the flame thing going around he goes hey it's just like Ron in the face and then you've got another guard that came over when I saw the flame thing going around he goes hey it's just like a jazz ball and then walked in and there are also two other convicts that are standing around so you have two guards and two convicts and then all of you inside your ring of fire I turn to the other guards and I say I was trying to make this a private conversation space so if you guys could just respect the conversation we're trying to have we'll riot with you and fight you in a moment roll a persuasion with disadvantage can daryl help uh-huh can daryl help he's like back

up these two prisoners are throwing down they don't even care about the guards you don't want to get in the middle of those two fists no no remember guys i look like a guard right now interesting i think that was we going to undo that entire thing. So you look like a guard holding up a... Yeah, a prisoner. Oh. It probably says, though, oh, that guard looks like he needs backup, and they're rushing over to Glenn's side. Yeah.

To wit, I got a six on my persuasion. So they are not going to stop fighting. You grab Jody by the neck, and they grab Jody by each shoulder, and they go, yeah, yeah, we got you. Stop rioting. I'm still staring down Jody, waiting for a response to my initial question. Who are you? Glenn. Jody, what do you want?

What did you do to my son? My boy, my boy. Look what they did to my beautiful boy. What? Nicholas? So when you say Nicholas, he turns like, you don't have a son? What are you talking about?

You're a weird friend that hangs out with us. I go, and I take Jody's body and I want to hurl him at the two guards near us like a bowling ball into a bunch of bowling pins. Go ahead and give me a strength check. This will I have to try and oppose because this is too much movement.

OK, are you sure you don't want Jimmy and Freddy to play a round of tech and tag tournament to video games to do everything? Now, don't be mad that you literally lost on the second level of jazz ball. Oh, shit. We just had two very good rolls i

rolled a 14 plus 620 i rolled a 14 plus 721 oh my goodness i feel like jody watched an aikido demonstration or a judo demonstrator at some point and so then he flips me into the other guards yes he uses your momentum using his momentum against you against him becomes a double twist he watched a judo demonstration and you watched that episode of cowboy bebop where spike just says be like water and now the kid can fucking flip someone over like what was that about am i right any cowboy bebop fans so freddie you take 2d8 of damage as you slam into these armored guards and you knock them down proud iq fucks what he's a big boy now in a big suit of armor. Ooh, seven damage.

Okay, so you take seven damage and you knock these two to the ground and the guards, they're in a zone of Jez Ball fire so they go like, oh, it's on now and Glenn is basically

pinning them down because he's on top of them. What are you going to do now? I'm going to run at Nicholas and I'm going to yell, let's go. I'm going to pick him and Peyton up

and like gesture to everyone's like, grab Glenn, let's get out of here. You grab Nicholas and he happily takes your hand. try to grab Peyton's hand he's like ew and like pulls away from you he's like I'm next to you it's fine Daryl's running to Glenn and out of the corner of his eye he

sees Peyton like you know disregard Jody and he kind of taps on his back and like I feel like Peyton instantly knows the signal and just leaps onto his back for the piggyback ride yeah great for sure I lean down to Glenn and say Glenn I promise we're gonna explain what's going on but we gotta get the hell out of here for your sake and nick's sake we need your help man you look like a guard help out and i stand up and there's two guards here with me still right yeah they are on the ground prone but you've just gotten up so they

can stand up as well so i'm gonna tell them in the performance voice gonna be like i'll take care of these losers the warden needs your help all the way down in level negative two is where you're all needed. Get there now. All right, roll deception. Oh yeah, I'm shaking my boots. Is that helping, Glenn? I'm shaking my boots.

Daryl, it doesn't, you're not, they know you're not one of them because they're slime guys, remember? I backhand Daryl to shut him up. What's your unarmed attack damage? Two damage. Okay, so Daryl, you take two damage to your face. To my face.

So 25. 11 plus 14. Why are we even bothering? Yeah, that'll do it. Wait, you get plus 14? Yes. Unless you get a one. Okay.

With a 25, they go, oh, absolutely. And they happily run through the fire because you were so goddamn persuasive. And they go, ah, ah, ah.

I think that Ron is quietly singing Ring of Fire. This is the Ring of Fire. The Ring of Fire. Mesmerized. He's like, I thought I would make this the wholesome prison blues. Wow. Holy shit.

Ron, you get inspiration. Ron gets inspiration. Not Beth. Ron got it. That's fantastic. Glenn takes a second, collects himself and says, how are we getting out of here then? You guys scope this place out? I mean, no no we just got sent

here i don't know if they usually don't lead the prisoners through the ways that would be easy to get out oh i got an idea henry turns into a big bird all right fuck yeah let's fucking do it but hold on out of character i want to point out that i've listened to this podcast the original fairy said they couldn't get you close to fly because you would get shot down so presumably you being a burden going away you're still getting shot down right point i just saw so many people repeat that like online where they're like yeah henry just turned to birds like yeah you get shot down immediately yeah like mordor oh why don't the eagles just drop the ring like that big i wouldn't notice eagles coming fucking stupid who's the biggest plot hole in history shut the fuck up have you

ran ding ding we need to have a talk about you and the eagles man we need to talk about it it's time to let it go dude they're wrong they're wrong not that many people actually care wrong for you to be this obsessed about them every time all right well unfortunately uh henry did not hear glenn point that out until after he turned into a big bird so henry is still hear glenn point that out until after he turned into a big bird so henry is still a big bird now right the big bird flying around though is still hanging out right the poop bird it's not poop it's food the food bird is up top still circling around nervously not knowing what it should do yes i yelled to henry like henry can you talk to

it oh yeah that's a good idea i could try so i'm gonna cast man i'm just going through spells like john wick throwing guns around right now boom boom boom that's what good idea. I could try. So I'm going to cast, man, I'm just going through spells like John wick throwing guns around right now. Boom, boom, boom. That's what he does. Yeah. Generally well known for throwing guns is John wick.

You're telling me he doesn't throw a gun at someone in one of those John wicks. Come on. If they didn't make a scene where he just has a bunch of empty guns and he just throws them at people, that's where the fucking franchise needs to go. You know what? I do not have speak animals prepared right now, so Henry cannot do that. Wait, why can't you? You can't just be a Swiss army knife of

all your spells. You've got to prep them first, and Henry didn't think he was going to need to speak to any animals. Well, that seems kind of dumb. It's the game part. It's a long-standing D&D debate. Put out your fire first so we can move out of here. I feel like we're stuck in a ring of fire. Oh, yeah, for sure. And then Henry claps his feathers and turns the fire off.

Guys, what do you know about how to get out of here? What direction did we come from? Holy shit. I want to ask Payden if he knows anything about how to get out of here. All right, baby.

So here are the possible ways you could get out of here. We came in through the south, but there was a lot of guards at the checkpoints and there was a gelatinous cube that was taking weapons from people. Gelatinous cubes, if you don't know, kind of a big deal,

kind of difficult to kill. To the west, there's a trash chute that seems to go through an incinerator. It's like a little mine cart. You put the trash on it, it gets incinerated, and then it gets dumped out in the ocean. Apparently, somebody did that. They got out, but they died. I want to turn to Jody. I'm going to say that incinerator chute I know about. Have you seen the movie The Rock, Jody? I thought it was kind of whatever. Okay, but the thing i did the sean connery thing i heard it from uh someone who was uh locked up with me you just have to like run through it and like i'll tell you the timing you go first and clear the way for us wait hold on how long ago did you talk to this person that is deception my friend deception uh uh he was a guy who was locked up

with me and that's how he got out yeah yeah glenn we heard about that guy that guy died somebody came out glenn make your role and then jody you will roll opposed insight so my deception roll was a 7 plus 14 21 oh my god i got 18 jody yeah you die as far as you know he's telling the truth okay well i'll factor that in i r, Ron Stampler, actually realized recently upon looking at my character sheet that I am immune to flames. What? I'm probably not immune to flames.

I remember reading something today and I was like- Oh, because you specced as a T-Fling, right? Yeah, I did. Oh, shit. Yeah, T-Flings are immune to flames, I think. Hellish Resistance. Hellish Resistance. Fire Resistance 5, so as long as the source of fire damage can only do five or less they're functionally immune to it ron once attended a work retreat that had the walk on

coals thing yeah well baby you and i were on the same page i fucking knew it he attended a work retreat and it's like one of those ones where like they actually don't heat the coals up that much but so everyone thinks they can get through but But somehow Ron like absorbed the like mental energy to be able to do it. Daryl goes up to Glenn. I'm like, Glenn, that seems like the best way. I don't know what the hell you're talking about with fire. Talk to a guard. Tell him, use your freaking authority or whatever it is you did.

Every time you talk, you deceive me, even though I know who you are. It's so impressive. Every time you talk, I'm like, oh, he's a real guard. So tell a guard to go turn off the furnace and let's just get out of here. Okay. All right. I'm going to oh, he's a real guard. So tell a guard to go turn off the furnace and let's just get out of here. Ooh, okay. All right, I'm going to, that sounds like a good idea.

A dad asking about the temperature in a jail. God help you if you touch the thermostat in this jail. Oh no, the thermostat. So I'm going to find the nearest guard and tap them on the shoulder and say, oh, the warden told me we need to turn off the furnace. How do I do that? So the guard looks at you and goes, I rolled a 91.

Oh. Oh. Oh, no. I tried, everybody. I don't know what to do now. He got nutted by his own nunchucks. So the guard turns to you and says, oh, that's easy.

Just, and then pauses. And like, even though it's just a gelatinous blob inside, you can feel it squinting at you. And then before you can react in any way, it grabs your helm and just rips it off, revealing your human meat face. With a little rat on my head. With a rat on your head,

pulling on your hair is like Ratatouille. Ratatouille! Oh my gosh! The rat puts his hands over its eyes, and it's very cute. That instinctively pulls me to draw the sword and just stick it into this guard in front of me. This electrified sword.

Okay, go ahead and roll an attack. Oh my god. Ooh, oh six plus seven thirteen to dc okay uh that's not gonna do it too close range yeah too close range it comes out of your hilt and like the pommel of it like strikes it in the stomach because you're that close and immediately the guard speaks into his thing and goes glenn close is in here he stresses one of us it starts panicking it starts running away from you to try to get more guards to come and fight you. I turn around and I go, well, normally that worked. That worked like pretty well

for most of this. So I guess, I guess we got, we got to figure another way out. What about the, the bird? Here's my thought,

gentlemen. And then Henry turns from being a bird into being a big spider. I turn into a giant spider, which is a thing I can do. And Ron's like, ah!

Yeah, Terrell like turns away and he's like, you gotta warn us before you do that, man. Oh my God! Christ! is a thing I can do. And Ron's like, ah! Yeah, Terrell turns away. He's like, you gotta warn us before you do that, man. Oh my God! Christ! Oh shoot,

I'm sorry. And he's like, yes! Are you guys arachnophobic? I'm sorry, I should have given you a heads up before. Oh,

jeez. Henry like, takes one of his spider legs and like, rubs over his like, eight eyes. It's even worse because he's got eight eyes.

Oh, it's all good. So, Henry still has eight Birkenstocks on his spider legs. Oh my God. He still has eight Birkenstocks. Every spider. Oh my God. He still has eight Birkenstocks.

Every leg is covered in a condom. He had eight before? Okay, whatever. Don't think about it too hard. Anthony, here's what I'd like to do. I feel like as a giant spider, I can climb up walls. Yes. And then what I'm thinking is some of the people can ride on me,

and then I can also weave a sticky web that perhaps the rest of the party can climb up to get out the top of the prison that makes perfect sense to me how big is the spider giant spider it's like you know five or six inches it's a it's a tarantula five or six inches that's no i'm just kidding uh it's a giant spider is a large beast and it has a 14 strength if that's important okay if you want to climb you can determine how many people you want to be on your back. And then depending on who they are, how big they are, and how many of them there are, that'll modulate the difficulty of the strength check to hoist them up. Anybody climbing up your web, do you just like automatically make web?

You just say, hey, I make some web or is it like a roll or anything? So like, I assume I can weave a web. That feels like something that a big spider could do. Yeah, it sounds trivial for you to do that. So anybody climbing the web will just have to make, I guess, athletics. Yeah, athletics or acrobatics. Pretty easy one to climb up. Okay, kids, hop up on my hairy spider back and everyone else follow my web that I secrete

from my glands. Glenn shudders. Okay. I'm going to take Nicholas and throw him up onto the back. As he threw up Nicholas, he's like, oh no, I don't. And you throw him up trivially and he lands on the spider.

He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And he's like raising up his hands and stuff like that and panicking. Like, gross, gross, gross, gross, gross. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. And Glenn goes,

so some things are the same. And then Peyton climbs up. He's like, this is the best thing in my life. I love spiders so damn much. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Let's go, baby. And he slaps you on the butt. Spider butt.

Henry bucks like a horse and goes like whatever a spider says instead of name. I feel like you just hiss a bunch. Yeah. And then I start scooting up the wall and tooting out a web. All right. Hate it. Yeah, I actually hate it. Daryl's just watching this, just upset. Just like, what's happening's happening i'm standing next to daryl just kind of watching as this happens it's like

these two kids climbing up with the back of spiders just like yo this is a pretty wild journey so far huh daryl yeah this is a lot i could scurry up to the ceiling and then like drop like a silken thread down do you know what i mean yeah just drop one big dookie. Yeah. Okay. And then pull it up with your butt muscles. Spiders can pull back their web, right? Henry Oak does that yoga

so he's got those extra butt muscles. Yeah, webs, spiders can... I like spider kegels. He does spider kegels. Oh, God. This is awful. This is awful.

Because spiders can retract the web after they let it out. I don't know. Can they... No, but they're crawling back up the structural integrity of their own web. So it's like

they're not eating the web with their ass they're not yeah they're not like one of those vacuums that you press the button and it retracts the cord like no it's when you're out there you can pull it up with your spider arms you use the spider arms he could just like keep walking with it dangling out of his butt and tighten his butt and just start like pulling it up that way awful oh my god yeah i'm sorry jimmy i'm sorry no this it's cute so as you climb up to uh the top you see the vomit bird is there and it begins to take a sort of defensive pose as you get near it this bird's gonna eat your ass dude oh no no he's a big bird birds eat bugs they do yeah but it's a huge spider it's a huge bird bag how big now we need sizes now i need

i need to understand it's big enough to pluck out one of your eyes with a fight a spider yeah okay okay so it's gonna be like a little mini godzilla fight yes it's gonna be a little kaiju fight if if you can not convince this thing that you're peaceful is there anything you'd like to try to Yes, I can't talk. So I'm going to like just kind of cower from the bird. And like, I, you know, I'm just like, ooh, don't hurt me. I put up my hands like I come in peace. Can we pretend that Ron was awesome? I feel like Ron would have wanted to. Yes, Ron's tiny enough.

Yeah, like, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, Beth. But make a stealth roll and then it's just ron snuck yeah i think you have to roll stealth to decide if you're still on the underbelly yeah okay i'm gonna roll stuff you guys are just trying to trick me into playing dnd i got a 20 oh nice look at that oh glenn said daryl like this is quite an adventure i go yeah wait a second is is Ron up there? His camera punch zooms in.

Henry is in the middle of cowering, and then I go, oh, don't hurt me. I mime, oh, don't hurt me. I see that you're a bird. I'm a spider myself. Some would say that we're enemies, but I find that in the world of business, all is fair. So do you like what you do, throwing up on people?

Roll persuasion. I would like to assist the persuasion roll. Once I realize that Ron is talking and trying to be the spider, I start puppeting what Ron is saying. So I'm trying to act like Ron is a spider. I feel like the bird could only read that as an attack. I'm going to burn my inspiration. Okay. Nice. i got a 10 by

the way for my assist okay so your assist does nothing i got an 11 well now hold on everyone heard me say ready for the big ride baby so you can burn bardic inspiration right here and add a 1d10 so before you know the result you can add a 1d10 to that 11 roll right now okay yeah go ahead and roll a 1d10 beth maybe i will yeah is that 1d8 no i fucking leveled up my dude god damn it three all right so you got a 14 so the bird cocks its head at you and then it pecks out one of henry's eyes oh my god we can't have two characters with the eye patches on this show. He's got eight. Oh, okay. We'll see what happens when we change back, I guess.

Oh no. So yeah, it does 27 damage. Does it have to roll against my AC or something? Yeah, it got a 20. Okay, then it blocked my eye. So now it's going to do talons. So just so you know, this thing gets plus 13 to hit. That's not good.

No. So that was 27 damage, you said? That was 27 damage from its first attack. It makes two per turn. Oh, God. And it is going to hit you with its talons for 23 damage and you're grappled. So it plucks you off of the wall and just has you wriggling in its talons as the kids try to hang on to the micro hairs on your back as you dangle there. Until it grapples into a restraint and it can't use its talons on another target. I do not mean to panic anybody, but I currently have seven hit points.

How? Anthony's trying to tell us we cannot do silly shit anymore. Oh my God. I started because I got damaged in the fight with Elizabeth Warden and I didn't get time to heal myself. He just took like 50 damage. He took a lot of damage right there.

That's a big bird. So just to be clear, Payton, Nicholas, and Ron are all hanging from the spider who's hanging from this bird. Yeah. And we watch them dangle, right? We can see this happening.

Yes. And I feel like the web works the way it does in cartoons where it's like also symbolically like poop when you're nervous, like it's just getting longer and longer coming out of your butt as this thing is like grabbing you and shaking you around. I go, hang on Nick. And I'm going to run and try and grab this dangling web.

Go ahead and give me an acrobatics check or a dexterity check, whatever you feel like makes sense for that. Eight plus eight, Nick. And I'm going to run and try and grab this dangling web. Go ahead and give me an acrobatics check or a dexterity check, whatever you feel like makes sense for a bat. Eight plus eight, 16. 16, you get it easily. You got the web in hand. You can start climbing upward. What are you going to do? I'm going to start climbing.

What does Jody do? I'm curious. Well, how much space is there between? How higher up are they? Yeah. So let's say that after the bird grabbed you, you started to like weigh it down a little bit. So it's descended.

So you're basically like two stories up. Okay, I'm going to, can I run around the corners of the place? Is that possible? Is there another ladder to climb up that I don't have to go up? Yeah, there's an elevator in the center and yeah. It's like the Guggenheim.

The whole thing is just one big spiral. It's one big spiral. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, go ahead. You can do that. Why don't you roll athletics to just make sure that you get up there like, you're like Will Smith in Men in Black

at the beginning of the movie when he runs up the Guggenheim. Like Will Smith. That's so cool. I'm running up as well. Okay. All right, I got 23. Okay, great.

I got 24, so I started right behind Jody and then I end like a few steps in front of Jody. And both of you are just barreling people out of the way

as you run up the spiral staircase around the center of the panopticon around the spoke, essentially. And I'm climbing up as well. Yes. You're close enough to now grab onto the spider itself, onto Henry itself. The others who ran up the staircase, you are on the same sort of level as the spider itself. So you could like hypothetically like dive off and jump

onto and grab the spider. Everybody give me your initiative and I'll type it in and I won't talk for a little bit because I have to move away from my mic. He moves away from his mic to breathe. He moves away from his mic to write down everyone's initiative. All right, everybody read them aloud when you are ready. I have the list here. Glenn is a nine. Daryl's a 14. Henry's a 13.

Jody's a 21. And then Ron is a 14. Henry's a six, but he cleans up to an eight. Nice. Incidentally, I just realized, so the name of this large bird in Dungeons & Dragons, this is a real Dungeons & Dragons creature. It's called Rock, as in the rock.

What? What? You could have told me that before I tried to fuck with it. Damn. It unfortunately got a natural 20 for its initiative roll, so it's going to go first. So all it has is its beak and its talons,

and it cannot use its talons while it's holding on to Henry. So it's going to use its beak to try to snap at Glenn as you climb up. So it's going to do 26 damage to you. Does the armor absorb anything? The beak specifically does piercing damage. So you feel the hard chitinous beak of this rock penetrate the armor and then your chest,

your extremely buff 50-year-old flesh. Since its beak of this rock penetrate the armor and then your chest. You're extremely buff 50 year old flesh. Since his beak is like punched through my armor, can I grab onto its neck and like let it pull me up? So go ahead and get me a strength check and then add one to it because you have a strong left arm. 16. Yes, the 16 will do it. So you climb onto like its neck or do you just sort of grab on and just pray? Well, it's like its head's right there.

So I'm just going to like grab onto its neck. And then as it lifts up, it's going to carry me along with it. Me and my big left arm. Okay, sure. Jody, it is your turn. Just to clarify, in front of me is an ROC holding on with both claws to a spider. And they're closer to the ground now, right? You said they are.

They are two stories above the ground. They're 20 feet off the ground, essentially. Probably a little higher. Unless it's like really low, 10 foot tall ceilings. Anthony is probably closer to like 26 feet. Okay. They're about 35 feet off the ground essentially probably a little higher unless it's like really low 10 foot tall ceilings anthony's probably closer to like 26 feet okay they're about 35 feet off the ground there we go i just wanted to know how dangerous it is because 20 feet i'm like is it broken bone territory like it's dangerous how high it is broken bone territory if they take a bad spill it is death i'll do a parkour spin flip you can solve the nicholas

problem really quick wow amazing oh god can you imagine if nicholas died and like jody and like glenn had to like deal with it together like sharing their grief of this kid they both shared but didn't know like it's like a film that's like a this sundance here it comes well yeah you go off and write that sweetheart am i close enough to the bird to be able to leap to it from the ledge? I would assume. Yes. It would be a pretty intense leap because it would be an upward leap because the bird is sort of above you.

You could leap onto the spider and then climb up to the bird. But if you want to try to leap directly onto the bird, you can, it'll just have to be a pretty dank acrobatics track to be like, Daryl will give you a boost or something. We can use something to make it easier. Right? Yeah.

Can we do a boost? That's great. Yeah. If Daryl gives you a boost, you'll get advantage for the role. Okay. So I'm going to whip off my belt. you have to ask if i'm gonna boost you yeah it's a consensual boost don't just assume while whipping off my belt i'm gonna stare at

daryl and go can you give me a boost i go go fuck yourself of course i have what do you do if when i went to boost him i just threw you oh my god he just bumped into the ground and i look at glenn i go problem solved no okay okay right i'm sorry i'm sorry of course i'm not gonna do any of that okay yes of course daryl's ready to save the kids daryl gets down in that like remember army of two that's super awesome game and when the co-op moves you can do is lift each other up in that pose that's the only way i know that pose. It's been 50 years. So with my belt in one hand off to my side,

I back up and I'm going to run towards Daryl's army of two pose, also known as just hands clasped together down over the knee. I'm so upset that we made an army of two reference on this podcast. I quit. Not just one reference, Will. And I'm

going to jump and I'm going to attempt to grapple the bird and swing my belt around its neck to try and control its flight. Okay. I roll 24 athletics for my boost if that helps. I feel like that's what I would use. So I actually learned we don't have to do the thing where you guys roll to make the helping happen. You just help and if I

feel like it makes sense, it just happens. Because somebody pointed out mathematically, I'm not doing anything. Because two rolls to help somebody get two rolls is the same as just one roll in general. So we don't have to do that. Interesting. So you're going to have to roll, Jimmy, acrobatics with advantage because you're getting this boost from Daryl. I may only need one. I rolled a 19 on my first roll.

And per the rules, I rolled a 91 on my second one. Does that cancel it out? No, it doesn't at all. We just take the better one. So with a 19, you successfully launch off of Daryl. first roll and per the rules i rolled a natty one on my second one does that cancel it out no it doesn't at all we just take the better one okay so with the 19 you successfully launch off of daryl you soar through the air and you grab onto the feathery neck of this bird it is going to take another roll of some sort to see if you can loop your belt around its neck okay i'm gonna roll a sleight of hand because i have a bonus but also because I'm not actually trying to handle the animal. I'm trying to just like get this around it and like trick it

basically when I smack into it through the thing. I would say that's definitely the handling of an animal. You were attempting to handle its movement. Well, I don't think Jody actually understands and I think this is going to affect what happens. I don't think he understands what he's doing. He just knows that he's getting on something and if he puts something around it. Just because you don't understand what you're doing doesn just knows that he's getting on something and if he puts

something around because you don't understand what you're doing doesn't mean you're not doing it yeah fuck it'd be animal handling i will roll animal handling fuck you 18 wow jesus okay so you successfully whooped this belt around the thing's neck and you're holding onto it really tight. It is going to have to deal with that on its turn, but it's still holding onto the spider and it's just like... Glenn from underneath goes fucking, because I loosened it up for him.

Alright, it is now Ron's turn. Ron, who's like not very visible on an ailing Henry's spider belly is like, okay, so so really quick guys what's the plan here are we trying to get out and then i know that i know that we were concerned about being shot you're saying this while you're dangling yeah i think i'm gonna hold my turn so ron is going to hold their turn daryl it is now is now your turn. What's your clever boy plan?

So whatever the race that I chose for Daryl, I have gotten spells. Wait, sorry. Fifty fucking three episodes into this shit and you're telling us you have spells. I think I got them like last level to be fair. Okay. Okay. I'm going to do Agri, which I'm going to call it. What would Frank do?

So I'm going to say that this is since I'm calling my father, I'm going to call it, what would Frank do? So I'm going to say that this is, since I'm calling my father, I'm essentially thinking like, what would Frank do in this situation? Okay. I get to ask the DM the specific course of action that you plan to take within the next 30 minutes. The DM chooses from the following possible omens. Weal, woe, weal and woe are nothing. So good result, bad result, good and bad result,

results that are especially good or bad. So you're essentially supposed to tell us what you think the results will be from what we do next. So if you're asking me, how does Frank's spirit feel about the goal of climbing up out through the roof? Yeah, I'm like, Dad, this seems pretty dangerous, or should we just take that furnace? The Rock was a good movie, but it's pretty dangerous. We don't got Sean Connery. If you were here, I'd feel like better about this, but what do you think? So Peyton turns to you and he's like, I'm right here, first of all.

It's not the same Peyton. Second of all, I think if we get up through the roof, like that might be okay, but A, they're going to shoot at us and B, unless we find a way to kill or befriend the stupid bird, it's going to probably like

pick us all off one by one. It doesn't look good either way. Let me put that way my friends i want to leap across a little bit of the gap so like you know i'm gonna leap from the balcony and land on the other side and i'm trying to grab whatever bit of the poop web that is out from henry it's just a web and then i want to do the helicopter from the matrix i want henry to let go and i'm gonna wrap the web around me and hang on so that they drop down and dangle, you know,

like six feet above the ground. You can certainly get in position for that, but somebody's going to have to make that bird let go because the bird's talents are what is

keeping Henry there. So Ron's up there. Can't Ron do something? Maybe Ron tickle that bird or something just in time so that can be planned this. That's the most like, all right,

so I'm going to do this fucking cool ass matrix ass bullshit. I'm going to hold a bunch of people that's going to look super fucking cool I'm gonna do this fucking cool ass matrix ass bullshit I'm gonna hold a bunch of people it's gonna look super fucking cool Beth I guess you can tickle a bird I don't know

or stab it you figure it out I know what I'm doing you guys know what I like to do I'm more about tickling birds than right my argument for the bird

I don't think would be like against the idea of dropping this thing to its death it's not like the bird's like oh they're getting free this plan makes sense Ron are you okay with that plan i am i mean i am all right so every fucking you go first do your acrobatic check to see if you can leap through and grab that rope after jody ran and leaped off daryl's inspired by this and also by talking to

his dad and he goes army of two now it's time for army of one and i step back no one said army of two in character daryl loves this game daryl so i'm doing athletics this is athletics right because i'm sleeping it's acrobatics because it involves leaping oh 19 plus one you see it i see it. I see it. You describe it. I leap and I grab onto the web and I swing across the web like a fucking Indiana Jones. I land on the other side and then I wrap it around my forearm. I go, Ron, let him drop the spider. Ron, let him drop the spider. Dude, love that quote. Bro, have you listened to this podcast called Dungeons and Daddies?

It's got like the best lines. Like it's kind of an action podcast sometimes. It's like, dude, this last episode had this really cool. I get it. I'm ugly and I'm not good at one-liners. It's not like Spider-Man 2 where they're pushing Tobey Maguire back. They're like, careful, careful. Don't let him drop the spider.

Don't drop that. Here's a fun fact you might not have known. Since this whole thing is a big reference to The Rock, we actually got Quentin Tarantino and Aaron Sorkin to punch up Matt's dialogue, but that's what they came up with. Wow. Okay, so. Okay.

Fuck me. Ron is going. Is he going to drop that spider? I'm going to try. Drop the deuce, Ron, come on. Okay, Ron is going Is he going to drop that spider? I'm going to try. Drop the deuce, Ron. Come on. Ron is going to sort of slither his arms beneath the talons of the bird

and then hunch up so that his Wolverine Oh, yeah. We made it. His Wolverine cosplay paper shredder go right into the bottoms of his feetsies.

Okay, so you can make an attack roll. You can roll slide of hand. It's up to you. I like the idea of rolling slide of hand. Like you stab somebody in the chest and you go, slide of hand. Yay, I got a 24. Alright, describe what happens next. Ron's hands are like the sentient versions of the nail

from A Quiet Place, like right up into his footsies. And that's what happens. That's great. So the rock goes. And let's go. God, what a voice. Let's go, View.

And the spider, along with the two children and Ron, falls toward the ground. So Daryl, give me a strength save. That's what Daryl's here for. Let's go, Daryl. That's what he's good at, and I got advantage on my strength. Seven. Six, and then seven.

Oh, my God! Are you kidding me? Okay, I have a thought of what happens if I don't get good bardic inspiration. So, I roll a d10 now. Oh, God. Before you roll, I'm going to tell you what you're going to try to beat, so I can't. I'm not going to cheese this. You have to beat a 15. And you have a seven, so you need an eight or higher. You have to be to 15 and you have a seven. So you need, Oh shit.

You need an eight or higher. Oh my God. 30%. It's a 30% chance here. I'm nervous. Sorry. I actually selected 10 D tens. That's how nervous that might be good. Yeah.

I got an eight. Oh my God. I hear Glenn's beautiful voice in my hand like it's about to rip off my arm and then i just hear glenn's rock and roll music in my heart and i just think about the predator and the high fives he wouldn't get with his son if i drop nicholas right now and i hang on tight all right awesome so henry and the kids uh you managed to hold on to him stop their hard landing and they are basically just dangling like a foot above the ground now, so Henry can, at whatever point, just dislodge

the web and they'll just be on the ground. Okay. So now it's your turn, Henry. Alright, Henry is going to de-spider, to dislodge from the spider, so I turn back into Henry, and I go, ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! God almighty! The moment he drops and

his weight gets off my arm, I also go, ow, ow, ow. When Ron steps off of Henry's spider, he tries to do the retracting the claws, but obviously they're just on his knuckles. So he just says, snicked out loud, because that's what it is in the comic books. Glenn and Jody are both on the rock, the big bird.

Goddamn right we are. Dads of a feather flock together. Glenn is holding on to the tufts of feathers in the front of the bird. Jodi is on the back with the belt around its neck. Daryl, you're holding on to this web that on the second floor and on the ground floor, the spider, Henry, Ron, and the two kids

are basically dangling one foot above the floor. Henry is going to say, oh, thanks, Daryl. Oh, give me a second. Jeez Louise. And then I'm just going to cast cure wounds on myself at the fifth level because I have no health left. Great.

I got 27 health back. Glenn, it is your turn. Okay, so I look down and I see that they've dropped and I look up and i see jody doing the thing i wanted to do in the first place and i shout out to jody i'm like get this thing under control i'm working on it i'm gonna try and climb up and also get into like a straddle like position as well you want to get into a competing animal handling position yes exactly i want a competing animal is he behind or are you in front of me? Big spoon or little spoon? Or are you facing me?

Yeah. Don't fall for it. It's a trap. I feel like it should be a 50-50 roll if you end up behind him or in front of him facing him.

So do an acrobatics roll first of all to see if you succeed or not and then we'll do the 50-50. Nine plus eight, 17. Okay, so that succeeds. So now roll any dice you want. If it's even,

you're going to be in front of Jody. If it's odds, you're going to be behind Jody. Roll the d20, which gives me a 17. That's an it's even you're gonna be in front of jody if it's odds you're gonna be behind jody uh roll the d20 which gives me a 17 that's an odd so you're behind jody jody is now embraced in your asymmetrical but very strong grip and jody you feel so safe but only on the left side damn what i need to know more about this now that you're there what do you want to do glenn i want to try an animal handle because he's got the belt around the jody yes yes you can still you could like ghost it and like put your hands over jody's's got the belt around the jody right yes yes you can still you could

like ghost it and like put your hands over jody's hands on the belt and like is there an animal handling check is there like a world where it has like a leash on it what if the rat is controlling you that's controlling the an animal handling check i feel like would allow you to certainly exert enough force that it feels like you've got it at a disadvantage and it could probably either follow

very simple instructions because it's scared you're going to strangle it or it will try to, like, buck you off if you're unsuccessful. But it's not going to be like be your friend or anything.

Can I just ask, what's the end goal? I just want to make sure we're on the same page. I want to have control of this bird so that we can use it to either get out

or I can pick you guys up or whatever. All right, so roll animal handling. Eight plus one, nine. And I go to Jody. I'm like, let me show you how this shit's done. You do it even weaker than Jody did as he tried to pull the belt taut against this thing. And the bird just bucks back and forth.

It is now the bird's turn. It is going to try to shake you off of its back. So both of you roll dexterity saves to see if you can stay holding on to this thing. Nine plus eight, 17. That'll do it. holding on to this thing. Nine plus eight, 17. That'll do it. You managed to stay on. Yes, yes, yes. Well, I got two natural 20s in a row.

Oh my God. Are you fucking kidding me? Have I been able to outroll Jody once so far? I don't think so. I think literally not once. So I feel like Glenn is like, and he's like holding on to like, make sure he stays. And then Jody like has a sense of like, oh, was he, was't even feel he was moving oh my god what's going on it's all in the hips huh yeah you just see me jockeying okay so it noticed it could not swing you off so it's going

to flap its wings and then like try to slam its own back into the wall to try to squish you i'm the one behind you i'm gonna be the one taking the brunt of this yeah luckily i'm in armor though all right so it only rolls uh 14 that doesn't beat your armor, does it? No, it does not. So it, like, goes back and tries to crunch you against the wall, but your armor absorbs

a lot of the blow, although I feel like it's still squishing your armored hard body against its body, which means that Jody should still probably have to... Against my body, right?

You'd probably still get the wind knocked out of you. 14 beats my AC, but I don't know if it changes because it's going through Glenn. No, I'd say it's just... It's like, you know, those Newton's cradles?

Yeah. You see the momentum transfers through hard objects all the way to the end. Absolutely. So it rolled very badly. So you only take seven damage, Jody, as you're crushed against this bird. And that was his whole turn.

And I whisper in your ear, it's only because I absorbed some of that damage for you. All right, Jody, it is now your turn. Okay, so I am going to do the exact same thing Glenn did, but better. Oh my god. So what's the roll here? Animal and landline. Oh boy, this is gonna be a while.

Okay, I got 17. Okay, so with the 17, you pull that belt taut. You can feel the bird's back straighten. It realizes you are in control and you're not getting off of its back anytime soon. Okay, I'm going to whisper in its ear I'm your daddy. The horniest podcast.

Sorry, what did you whisper? I'm your daddy. That changes Jody's character so much. I literally don't know what to do with Jody anymore. Hey, he's feeling it, man. He's been having some real dad issues internally ever since Glenn came up here and said he was somehow Nicholas's dad.

He needs to maintain a little bit of control here mentally. So the bird, having some real dad issues internally ever since Glenn came up here and said that he was somehow Nicholas's dad. Yeah, I guess, yeah. And he needs to maintain a little bit of control here mentally. So the bird, which as far as we can tell, probably doesn't speak English. It doesn't understand the words you're saying. Animals understand tone, so it thinks you want to have sex with it.

It knows that there is something going on. It's not going to fuck with you. It might fuck you. It basically sort of goes like, and then tries to land on the second floor of the prison because it's not sure where you want, but it has a feeling it might want you to let it off.

It might want you to let yourself off. Jimmy, you should see if Sly Sylvester can speak to animals. Yeah, I don't know where Sly went. Yeah, go ahead and roll perception. To see if Sly's around. Yeah. Roll a 10.

You don't see Sly Sylvester, but you could hear from beneath you grabbing onto the undercarriage of the bird. You could hear Sly Sylvester's voice going, Don't screw this up for me! It was about to fly out! I'm downhill, right by the butt! Nobody can see me when I'm by the butt! You're ruining it! I yell to Sly, it's a bad idea to fly out! Sly, can you talk to this thing? Of course I can! Well, tell it that we'll give it all kinds of rewards if it gets us out of here!

I didn't want it to know I was here when it would- Oh! You got- You ruined everything! Okay, okay. Squaw! And, uh, are you lying when you say we're gonna give it rewards, or are you telling the truth? We're telling the truth. We'll reward this bird handsomely for getting us the fuck out of here. Okay, so hit me with a persuasion check.

What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna make the check for it a higher difficulty than normal because it's being filtered to the bird through Sly. But you're still the person making the organization. He's the translator. You're going to have to beat a 17. Dang, so you're saying I have to roll higher than a 3? Well, I did. So 6 was 1420. Oh my gosh. The bird goes, and

it narrows its eyes. Sly goes, I think it might be receptive to the idea, but we're going to have to move quickly. How many people are we going to have to take out of heel? So two children, a Ron, a Daryl, and a Henry. According to this website, a rock can carry 7,000 pounds. Okay. I guess your mom's out of the question then.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Oh, my God. So the bird goes, and then Sly Sylvester says back to you, it thinks that it's going to be in a lot of trouble if it's seen to be hobbling a bunch of fugitives out of here. They'll probably hunt it down and kill it or something like that.

If you basically find a way to convince it even further, I'm not going to let you do this, but just one successful check is what I'm saying. I'm going to say, you get us out of here and we will reward you with riches beyond your wildest dreams

and we will protect you because we're the baddest asses in this whole land. All right. Ever heard of books? Got a whole castle. Ron chimes in. It's the perfect bedding.

Friday roll a favor with advantage because Ron said, have you ever heard of books? Daryl's like, finally, somebody fucking cares about a castle and it's a bird. So I rolled a one on the first one. You rolled a one. On the first one. But I have advantage, right? Yes.

Thank God for Ron. Okay. So I have 10 plus 14, 24. Holy shit, Ron. You saved my ass. Wow. So you hear the bird say its first word in English as it goes, books. And it leaps down onto the ground floor

and turns into the library and extends a wing to the rest of the group so daryl looks at the rope burn on his arm he's oh okay so we're going back up we're not going down okay well just come pick me up on the way up i'm right here i'm on the second floor still so just whenever just come get me i assume everybody way up. I'm right here. I'm on the second floor still. So just whenever, just come get me. I assume everybody piles onto the bird. The bird comes up to you, extends its wing to you. Daryl, you climb aboard. It flies upward.

The ballistas see that it's flying upward with a bunch of people on it because there's been an alert because somebody specifically said Glenn Close is around. So all the ballistas are on alert and stuff like that. They are going to make three shots

at this bird before you reach an altitude such that it can't hit you anymore. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Sorry. Can I cast conjure animals? Okay. And here's what I want to do. I want to conjure a decoy bird.

Okay, cool. How many animals can you conjure? I can do two beasts of challenge rating, one or lower. I'll get the hat of vermin and put some bats out there. Yeah, just some chaff, you know? Let me explain. Okay, that's fine.

So what the guards see then is they see a massive bird that's got seven people on it and then two very small birds and then two very small bats. It's a giant vulture. How big is a giant vulture? The rock is 20 foot by 20 foot. It's a gargantuan

sized animal. It carries 7,000 pounds. It's like a dragon. So almost indiscernible from like random bits of dust that had like been swept off of the rock as it like exited the tunnel essentially but i'll say that you've increased the creature's ac by one with all that distraction as we go out i would like to cast the stupidest thing i've ever thought of in my life well like the ballistic ice like which one do i shoot or the one with all the people on it? What the fuck was I thinking?

I'd like to cast, if I could, Anthony, on my way out, I'd like to cast hypnotic pattern. Okay. So the idea here is that as I'm going out, I assume that these ballistas are manned by people. They are. So on my way, I have one last set of Roman candles, like bootleg fireworks.

So I'm going to try and shoot them off the bird. It's going to be a hypnotic pattern that swirls inside the 30-foot cube. Every creature who sees the pattern needs to make a wisdom saving throw. So if they don't, they're charmed. Okay, so there's three ballista. One of them, one of the guards saved.

One of them, both guards saved. And the third one, one guard saved. So what I'm going to do is, the ones where only one of the guards saved one of them both guards saved and the third one one guard saved so what i'm going to do is the ones were only one of the guards saved i'm going to have them fire at disadvantage and the other ones are going to fire normally first a ballista is going to shoot at you with disadvantage it got a 20 and a one so a natural one malfunctions the ballista and it just like shatters oh you know what it is it's not designed to be aimed back and up like that so it causes a malfunction on it. That's great. The second ballista is gonna fire at you. It gets a

17, which is higher than the AC of the bird. So the bird is gonna take... These broken wings. 56 damage. 56? Last one is gonna roll to disadvantage and it gets an 18. So the bird itself takes 92

damage as two massive ballista bolts just into its body. One of the ballista bolts hits Sly Sylvester. Sly Sylvester is turned into goo. Sly Sylvester is just gone. No! Sly!

Snaps, Anthony. We warned him. We did warn him. The ballista is going to go through the stomach of the bird and i'm going to roll so how many of you are on this bird we're going to roll a basically see if any of you get hit nick payden and the five of us i have danger sense okay you know you play enough uh sports you got that sense when a ball's about to hit you in the back of the head or whatever so you got am i anything we've learned about Daryl... I have advantage on dexterity saving throws against effects that you can see while not blind, deaf. Essentially, yeah.

There's 70 of you, so I rolled a D7, basically, and assigned each of you a number. So I got a three, which means I've rolled that the bolt is going to come out on the other side and impale Ron. Wait a minute, I feel like I'm very dexterous as well, so I feel like I could have fucking done something. I mean, you can definitely sense that this thing is coming at you, Ron. So, Ron, you can roll a dexterity save.

What Daryl would like to do, since he senses the danger, I think he was tracking, like, a lot of catch. Like, you can track the path of a flying object. So, Daryl's watching this thing, and he sees this going towards Ron, so he'd also like to dive to help Ron. You'll give Ron advantage. Okay. Nice. I to help Ron. You'll give Ron advantage. Okay. Nice.

I got a 17. You barely manage to dodge out of the way as the sharp pointy end of this bolt exits through the back of this rock. So the bird is like, and keeps flying up into the sky. It eventually gets very cold. You could feel that you were high above, like all your cares. The world looks so small from up here. If only we could all get along. Our ears pop. Our ears pop.

Everybody chew. Keep chewing. You feel yourself descending far away from the Meth Bay Correctional Facility. While it's up here, it sees a castle seemingly made of books with books on the parapets. It feels like the bridge coming out of it is like an open hardcover book. We did tell him about the books. It goes, books, books. That's yours, buddy.

That's yours now. And it lands right outside Book's castle, and it goes, Brooks? Like in a questioning tone. Yeah, it's yours. Well, I guess in those books now... It's yours? Yeah, it's his. And I put a comforting hand on this bird, and I go, yes, my friend. Books. And I turn to the group, I say, and to be clear,

this was... We escaped because of me. Not i did this this was my plan and it went perfectly right right nick it's it's nicholas first of all and second of all i saw my dad pull the belt around the neck of the creature so once again i don't know why you're inserting yourself into a conversation between my father and I. I think we can all agree it was a team effort and we did a great job as a team. Let's all put hands in the middle. Oh, I love that. Daryl puts his hand out.

So, yeah, we're here. We're out of prison. Let's take five. We're here at, I guess this is Book Castle. This is pretty cool. Why does Glenn keep saying he's my dad? Daryl just quietly to himself since he said team effort, but everybody ignored him. He just goes, doodlers. And he just. I'm saying I'm your dad because you're my dad. Daryl just quietly to himself since he said team effort, but everybody ignored him. He just goes, doodlers.

And he just. I'm saying I'm your dad because you're my son. Why does it feel like everyone's looking at me like I've gone crazy? What's happened here? You haven't gone crazy. Gone crazy. How many years did you spend in there? Nick is not your son, Nicholas.

Please keep calling him Nick. My son is the only reason I was able to last as long as I did out there. And now I'm coming out here and I'm finding out that something's going on here. And you guys are doing some kind of prank or I don't like it. Okay. I'm going to take a shot at this. And I'm going to, it's time to rip the bandaid off. I think there are some books about like family therapy in the castle or something.

Just if you need. No, that's not a Ron thing. That's a bad thing you could tell glenn and maybe i can take jody aside and explain it yeah i'm just wondering if oh you do your way i'm just not sure if it seems like a lot of poor nicholas is right here well i'm not going anywhere i need explanations it's just creepy i don't feel like we should be hanging out with this glenn guy if he's gone this weird after being in in the clink whatever you can tell my dad you can tell me all right my dad jody What did you guys do with my son? So here's what happened, Glenn. Okay, Jody. Oh boy,

I'm getting stressed out. I'm just going to just give me 10 seconds to do a quick breath and then I'll be right with you boys. Okay. All right. Hey, I'm just going to whisper a little bit just because I feel like that might keep us all a little lower temperature for what I'm about to say when we took Glenn to trial it wasn't because he was a bad friend it's because he was a bad dad to Nick and then when he got just then I know you're confused but let me finish when he got found guilty of being a bad dad, the sentence was that Nick would no longer be your son. And then when we came back from the trial, Jody, you were like just there. And Nick was like Nicholas now. We knew we had to get Glenn out.

And we all knew this moment was coming. We were going to have to deal with this. I know it's a pretty rowdy situation. knew this moment was coming. We were going to have to deal with this. I know it's a pretty rowdy situation. And so now I've told you and this is now your family business. So I'm going to back away. Yeah, Jody, from our point of view, we just met you when we first came back from the trial. I think we did a pretty good job of acting like we knew you, though. But then, Nick, what do you remember? Nicholas turns to Jody and he says,

Dad, I think they're all under a spell, or this is a trick, or they're all body... This is really creepy. Maybe plan Foxtrot Bravo? And he takes a cylinder out from his pocket, and you can see, Jody, that it is a flashbang that you gave to him a long time ago for massive emergencies.

I'm going to look at him, and I'm just going to go, be brave, son. I'm going to look to the group and go, guys, I don't know what is happening right now, but I think there's something seriously wrong with all of you, and I don't know what happened at the courthouse, but none of what you're saying makes any sense.

And I'm going to grab the Foxtrot Bravo from Nicholas's hand, and I'm going to chuck it on the ground while turning Nicholas away, and we're going to bolt it for Book's Castle as I throw it. The flashbang explodes. Everybody give me a constitution saving throw. 11 plus one, 12. I got a natural one. Oh no.

I got a 20, 17 plus three. I have 14. Okay. Everyone except for Daryl, you are blinded and stunned. The sheer noise of it. You don't even know where you are. You're so disoriented.

Even this flashbang going off. Could I have hugged Peyton to protect him? Oh yeah, that's very cute. And then also payton will see i'll be like be our eyes painted yeah so i'm hugging payton to protect him yeah pin's completely ensconced in a little cavern of man flesh that surrounds him he uh he's the only one that sees that as the flashbang explodes nicholas and jody run across the drawbridge leading into Book's castle. And just for a moment, Nicholas looks back over his shoulder and with a look of concern and confusion and a little bit of fear, you can see him look just at Glenn Close before he turns back and they

keep running and they disappear into the dark recesses of Book Castle. It's gonna be alright It'll be alright Cause that's just life All you do is try It'll be alright Dungeons and Daddies is Matt Arnold as Daryl Wilson Anthony Birch is our DM Will Campos is Henry Oak Beth May is Ron Stampler Jimmy Wong is Jodie Foster and myself

Freddie Wong is Glenn Close Our theme song is Alright by Maxton Waller. Courtney Therond is our content producer. Ashley Nicolette is our community manager. Chad Ellis provides additional editing. And Robin Rapp is our transcriber. It's not just us. We also have a legion of Patreon supporters who help make this show possible.

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Our next episode comes at you March 23rd. We will see you then. There was a time when you could read between the lines, you know, they never brought you down, never brought you down. Never brought you down. Okay, now, I don't want to even take a turn. I want Beth to go because I'm nervous.

Freddie's back. Guys, what am I supposed to do? My time is up. I'm going to die soon. I know something's going to happen. Tick-tock, tick-tock, Jimmy. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water.

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