Dungeons and Daddies - S3 Ep. 28 - Bringing Up Baba

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

The Screams (plus a moth and a dog) make a daring escape from Building 21… and cross paths with a foe from Blake’s past.This episode contains Profanity, Violence, and Sexual Content.Info and tickets for Beth's solo show "Beth Wants the D":Edinburgh Fringe: www.pleasance.co.uk/event/beth-wants-dSupport the show on Patreon!Get merch and more at our website!Follow us on Bluesky @dungeonsanddads!Check out the subreddit!DM is Will Campos Kelsey Grammar is Matt Arnold Francis Farnsworth is Anthony BurchTrudy Trout is Beth May Blake Lively is Freddie Wong Theme song is “A Hole in the Stars” by Maxton WallerAnnissa Omran is our Content ProducerAshley Nicollette is our Community ManagerKortney Terry is our Community CoordinatorCindy Denton is our Merch ManagerEster Ellis is our Lead EditorTravis Reaves, Omar Romolino, and Brian Fernandes provide Additional EditingCover art and episode art by Alex Moore (@notanotheralex)Get in contact: https://www.dungeonsanddaddies.com/contactThe story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Because they matter to us too. Toyota. For what matters most. Dodgers and Dice is brought to you this week by Audible. When the sacred is defiled, darkness awakens. Don't miss the new bone-chilling psychological thriller from Audible, Sacrilege, Curse of the Mbbirwi. Starring Kayla McLaughlin of Stranger Things fame, delivering an electrifying performance,

Sacrilege follows the story of the Wallace family whose vacation to a luxury game reserve in Zimbabwe quickly unravels when Deshaun Wallace, played by McLaughlin, unwittingly desecrates hallowed ground and unleashes the Mbirwi, a vengeful entity born from centuries of colonial oppression. As possessed wildlife and shape-shifting horrors close in, D'Shawn must confront not only the supernatural threat, but also the horrors of his own past to save what remains of his family. Written and directed by visionary creator Nayasha Hatendi and presented in spectacular Dolby Atmos, wait that's really cool, Sacrilege blends pulse-pounding suspense with powerful

explorations of identity and privilege to deliver a thriller as thought-provoking as it is terrifying. We all have our demons. Go listen to Sacrilege, curse of the imbui. Now go to audible.ca sacrilege. It's S-A-C-R-I-L-E-G-E. Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grownups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Korolyov as Papa, Vladimir Polyakov as Tima, and of course, Laika. So long, Tima. I'm off to the laboratory. Gee whiz, Papa. It must be pretty swell doing the dark bidding of the powers that be. I wish I got to work amongst the strange and awesome secrets of building 21. Now now little comrade, your time to serve will come at the hour of the whole,

when all minds will join and all flesh will be one. In the meantime, you've got plenty of chores to do mister. Oh, Papa! It's Rika! What is it girl? What's that? Capitalist peaks have infiltrated building 21? And they brutally executed one of the guard And then they broke into the site directors office and rescued the human more And now they're running around the facility beating ass And they convinced you to help them by undermining your faith in communism.

And now you're distracting us? So they can sneak up and beat our asses too. Why, Leica, that's the craziest... Eat, pray, love, you commie bastard! Get the fuck out of here! Welcome to Dungeons and Daddy's Time of BDSM podcast. This season, it's the Peachyville Horror, a Call of Cthulhu actual play, Horror Comedy Podcast. Horror Comedy. About four everyday schmoes fighting the forces of darkness

in suburban 1950s America and the Soviet Union. Wow. My name is Freddie Wong. I play deep thinking plumber, slow talking plumber, Blake Lively. Hello. Hi, Blake. Thisumber, Blake Lively. Hello. Hi Blake. This week's Blake Vac. Not the first time Blake has been scrounging around in an air vent.

It wasn't the last time. It became a pastime. Oh no. Last time Blake did it, fixing an HVAC unit in a commercial establishment that he was called in to fix. At BetSpy, he was just fixing their AC and he was like, I need to crawl in there. We had to get into the vents. The vents used to be man-sized back in the 50s. Now they're not. It's actually just men got smaller. Men got smaller and weaker. The vents didn't get bigger, the men just got smaller.

I remember as a little kid, Gold Nine Mission Impossible came out like back to back, I feel like. I remember. The most insane spy one to punch. So much fucking vents in those movies. And I was like, you mean like buildings have these tunnels that you can crawl around through? And then like I found out that vents weren't that big in real life

and they ruined it. Fun fact, we did a video years ago on the YouTube channel that was like me crawling around in vents and we were like, okay, well let's find some section of vent to do it. And then we did, we laid it out. It was just a little T section that years ago on the YouTube channel that was like me crawling around in vents and we were like, okay Well, let's find some section event to do it and then we did we laid it out It was just a little t-section that we laid on the floor and just got in there I'll tell you a lot of sharp edges in there A lot of sharp jaggedy edges inside those I get bigger but the vents stay the same If there's just an events climb in the time before

It's went too far! No, it's not too far, it's just gross. No, he's saying if there's dust, because the dust would mean they're old vents. Yeah, I mean inverse of grass on the field. No, I know, but it's just the exact same. No, you're right. No, I'm not explaining anything better. No, there are some vents you should not... I just don't like the word dust doesn't belong in sex talk, you know?

But it's not sex talk, it's vent talk. Get your mind out of the vent talk. Somebody hasn't had sex while bouldering. Okay, hi everybody. I have not. My name is Matthew Arnold. I play Kelsey Grammer, Peachyville's happiest and snappiest school marm. And a little fact about Kelsey, since she just turned 50, she wrote a bucket list thing, like what she wanted to do by the time she was 50. So she looked it up and see if she had lived what she wanted to so far. And there's three items on it, and they were,

become a teacher, check, still be a teacher, check, live in your best life, fucking check. So she's doing good. The last one just says live in your best life? Yeah, she's living her best life. Parentheses given the circumstances. Yeah, it's her best, she's living her best. That is beautiful. I'd like to zoom back to the time when she made the list initially, He's given the circumstance

I'd like to zoom back to the time when she made the list initially this incredibly comprehensive list of three items That's gonna be pretty easy to if you do one and two three by definition has been achieved Well, I forgot to say oh whatever it was like that good, but I forgot to add the you know what she always says It's not that great but I forgot to add the, you know what she always says, it's not that great. What is it? It's not that great. It's not her living her best life. It's not that great.

She's living her best life. You know what she always says, study rhymes with buddy, so go find one and go do something. Oh my God. Wait, the order's wrong. So go find one and go do something. Oh no, the order's wrong. Go do something and go do some. Oh no the order is wrong. If you can feel it, study it.

If you can read it, study it. I'm Anthony Burch, I'm like Francis Varnsworth, the kid is trying his best. My peachy fact is Francis likes to write comics on the side. He's not a good he's kind of like Harvey Peekar where he's an idea man. But he loves to write. He came up with an idea for a group of dudes

whose wives all divorce them at once, and they feel so emasculated by it that they turn into little boys, and he calls it the X-Men. Okay. Tennessee Williams is the X-Men. Yeah. You know what?

You know what? I would actually read that. Yeah. That's pretty fun. Yeah. There's a lot of angry little boys. It's all a metaphor for civil rights, weirdly. And one of them does have claws that come out of his eyes. One of them is canonically Wolverine.

Francis is the guy who came up with the idea of Wolverine. And it would be cool if they all had the same names as like X-Men, but they were just like guys. My name's Gambit. Mine's Iceman. I will say a lot of the X-Men names sound like nicknames that divorced guys would give each other. Hi, my name's Gambit. Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah. My name's Iceman. Most of them. I will say a lot of the X-Men names sound like nicknames that divorced guys would give each other.

Yeah. Gambit. Beast. Beast. Beast. Beast is coming out tonight, dude. Come on. He's called me Magneto.

Is everyone going to go like Fireman? What's his name? Pyro. Fireman? Pyro. Pyro. Fireman's an occupation, Matt, not an X-Man. Hi, my name is Beth May.

Hi, Beth. And I play Trudy Trout, homemaker robot mother of one beautiful child. Fun fact about Trudy. I felt confident about this one when it popped into my head, but now I'm not so sure. Trudy's favorite movie is The Snake Pit, because it's the only movie that offers Python subtitles Like I thought is in the programming. Yeah, yeah, you got it. You got it. Hi everyone My name is William campus and I play

Shut up. That's not your real middle name. It is. Yeah. You gotta bleep it out. I don't know what this bleeping the middle name out is. I think it's like feet. Infosec. It's like feet.

Infosec. Your middle name is equivalent to feet. You have to blur it out on the internet. All right, I'm William Campos and. William Feet Campos. I'm William Feetfucker Campos. Whoa, whoa. I'm William Pigly Wiggly Feetseafoot Campos and I am the dungeon master of this adventure

that you are all going on. My fact today, not a creepy fact, but this is a new piece of canon that someone suggested on our discord that I thought was hilarious so I was like I'm gonna fucking do this because this also is a nice little retcon for me. Britannica Blue, aka BBBlue, who you all know as your lovable sidekick detective We see her at the beginning of the show with the bowling team Which is let a lot of people be like is she on the bowling team is she a member of the guttural screams? And the official answer is no, but she is the team sponsor

Have the name of her detective agency on the back of them I like that that's so much she I like that. That's so much She's like the bowling coxswain the what the coxswain for the bowling team where you're not actually doing the thing Is that the guy in the boat who's like row harder? Yeah Throw harder you have to be kind of I have to like kill the free cox man in hand-to-hand. I've heard that that job is actually the hardest job kill the previous cox man in hand-to-hand combat. I've heard that that job is actually the hardest job in the team. I refuse to believe that when there's six guys rowing like they're in the fucking slave galley from Beddher. The only people that say that are coxswains.

That's like saying the jockey is the hardest part about the horse race. It's like I'm sure it's difficult. You gotta just keep time right? This isn't what they do it. Yeah I mean talk about jobs that could get outsourced by chat GPT. Like I'm sorry, I don't understand how the fucking coxswain hasn't been replaced by like I don't know, a metronome. No, because you have to read your, you have to, whatever. I'm beefing with these guys. I'm beefing with these ripped hot men. Yeah, coxswains are pretty safe beef because there's just gonna be hot rich guys.

Like that's punching up, especially with us. If there are any coxswains listening to this where can they reach you will they can reach me at feet fucker lane feedsville feet Obama which is where I live maybe it'll bring six guys to fight for them and they could just scream oh boy oh boy oh boy do you guys want to go on a spooky adventure? Yes So when last we left the group you had infiltrated project mother. I don't know if us Infiltrating it. Okay. Yes, you bamboozled your way into project motherland by winning a bowling tournament you infiltrated It wasn't you know, if number one is the Trojan horse You bamboozled your way into Project Motherland by winning a bowling tournament. You infiltrated.

It wasn't, you know, if number one is the Trojan horse, you guys are pretty far down on the list. But you infiltrated. The best stealth op in history. Coming in at number one! Busty Percent! You will believe number four! You will believe what they got away with in number four. Hit, it involves a wooden horse.

I hate it now in the videos, show the little clip of it at the beginning. Like, you just see, like like guys coming out of a wooden horse for three seconds. And then it's like, well now we're going to show you how we built it. Boston Tea Party's probably like three, right? No. I wasn't infiltrating anything.

Well, they were pretending to be natives. It was problematic. If it was just like top 10 problematic moments. Top 10 problematic war ideas. One, war. Three of these involved sinking a ship outside of the land. So you guys infiltrated Project Motherland and their mysterious building 21, the research facility at

Persikovograd, a town that has been corrupted by the malign influence of the powers that be. You found Moth Jesus shackled in a irradiated blast zone with a horrible mysterious artifact known as the director of the facility. He seemed to be getting all melted up and tortured. You manage to heroically rescue him in a daring effort by Trudy Trout who went straight into the fucking cursed zone itself and dragged him out and now her fucking she's all half melted and looks like the Terminator a little bit which is cool. As pulled Mothman out of this room the door slammed shut behind you and

a massive 12 alarm super alarm went off in the facility and the last thing you heard was Mothman saying to the ship Oh, you also met Laika and you promised like it you would get her some yummy treats Oh, you also have a bag of yummy treats. Okay great. Now we're obligated. Well I mean Lika controls all the security and stuff. Maybe she can help. Yeah maybe Lika can help. Tree are you okay?

Um I'm glad that I got Mothman. Mothman are you okay? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Time is of the essence. We must alight. Yeah he's fine.

He seems fine. He seems okay. Can you both move? Can you walk? We gotta get going. Are you ambul move? Can you walk we gotta get going are you? Embulatory boss man just staggers to his feet. He's not looking great She's carrying can't carry my how big is my mouth man's like you know large He's like six foot could you describe how muscular and hot and big? Like just right

Is this weight in all the right places It means the heavy parts of his body are the parts that you like. There's no wrong place to have weight. I have to look up something to answer that question. But maybe your preference is Google. How big is my... Hold on, hold on. I'm Googling this right now. Jake Gyllenhaal height.

There's a whole podcast episode about that. Six foot? There you go, so you's six feet tall. Yeah. Nobody would swipe left or right. I don't know which way is the good way. Right is the good way. I don't know which way is the good way. Mothman staggers to his feet.

He's looking weak and wobbly. Blake, you want to help me carry this mothman? He seems a little bit hot and heavy. He has all the weight in all the right places. Perhaps there's a way to help convey him. You two are not completely fucked up right now, so you're going to have to do it. everybody give me a listen check. We heard the alarm I succeed so well, okay?

That's just the way group roles go Trudy with your super robot ears you hear from down the hall the sound of many footsteps Running towards you and closing in fast. Oh goodness! There's many footsteps coming and they're closing in fast. This does not seem good for our heroes. To Laika, double time! Klaus, stick together. Everybody follow Francis. You're the... not the hall monitor, you're... I'm the line leader.

Line leader, go! So Francis will lead everybody back to Laika's room. Okay, so as you leave the director's office again You're now in the maze of corridors that makes up this place And you see they used to all be smiling and walking sort of like a disorder cheery ambulatory Stroll whenever you saw them But now they're moving more like one of those hordes of zombies and like projects not projects he wasn't a man World War Z They're all just kind of like stumbling around but you see like this throng of

sunburned smiling faces and lab coats just stumbling all over themselves as they're scouring the facility looking for you and one of them locks Eyes with you and just does like one of those fucking points where they just look and you go I love it. I love it in the zombie movie when the one goes And then you hear like a hundred necks all snap in unison as they all turn towards you They all die, we're cool. They all turn towards you and lock eyes with you and start chasing you down this hallway So they were not in between us and Leica? No They were kind of doing what we were doing them faster now. Yeah, we're gonna do a little fucking a little foot chase chasing We got some fun

Did one in Mounds Madness Very campaign we did yeah at the beginning you guys get chased around the British people in the double-dunker bus Give me your move rating Mov I like five move it move it Nine eight and Mothman the other fifty one Oh shit, we have fun here. So Francis, your move speed is eight, however, comma, you did get one of your legs blown off and replaced with a rifle. If you shoot it you can run faster.

Can I aim by myself and sniper jump? Oh, like in Grindhouse? Yeah. And then Mothman's move speed is a seven, but he is also injured. Francis, I'm going to roll a 1d6 to see how much you're being slowed down. 1d6, Jesus Christ. So that's three three so your move speed is now five right in the middle Francis you me bud Man loses a two so he's also a five so we got three coming to Kelsey three fives in eight and a nine sounds like

This podcast am I right? Now I'm doing the math, who's who? Who's who? It's obvious. I'm confident. I'm confident. I'm confident. I'm confident. I'm confident.

Everybody go ahead and tell us who you think is going to be in the chat. Sound off in the chat. I need an email will. You only have to say the eight or nine. You don't have to write down who are the five. This process of elimination, we know. And personality doesn't count.

Oh. Everybody give me a Constitution roll. This is going to be to determine your speed in the chase. Ooh. Love it. Tell me if it was a fail or an extreme success or a regular success. Regular success for Kelsey.

Fail for Francis. OK. F for fail. Fail for Blake. Oh, no. Imagine the most you could succeed. Ooh. Except, and then add three.

Because it wasn't a one, it was a four. OK. Was that super success? Super duper success? That's like a super duper Hallewello success. OK, great. Everyone who failed, you get minus one move to your move speed. Francis is down to four.

Kelsey is at five, because you passed, right, Matt? Blake is down to eight. Mothman succeeded. Yay. The scientists also failed, so they're down to seven as well. Fucking nerds, that's what you get. Trudy, you get plus one to your moves, because you were hauling it.

You're so motivated to go rescue your son. Yes, and I have a way to justify this, because I am severely hurt and down to one HP. OK, yes. I press a mole on my ankle, and I get the roller blade fee. Well, you already have hover shoes, remember? Oh, yeah. But now roller blades pop out, but they're not doing anything. On my ankle and I get the roller blade feet. Well you already have hover hover Blades pop out, but they're not doing anything

I look like fuck. What's that? 1993 movie that was so cool and made me so in love with that one guy No, I'm thinking of airborne I believe Keep going. That's really the duality. No, I'm thinking of airborne, I believe. Sure was it? Boogie Dancer, instructor, catch it? Bro, bro, Guthrie, you're right in everything. Where are my airborne heads at? What is airborne?

Oh man. Is it about a hot pack roller blade? It's exactly what that is. The picture's the most, it's just blue sky background with clouds. And there's just three images of this hot dude with rollerblades in three different poses one jump and one skate and And then they've got the wall behind. They're just holding a girl. Yeah and the girl's hot too.

What's the log line Beth? The log line is Mitchell became the most popular guy on earth once he took to the sky. And it was way more bolder. is Mitchell became the most popular guy on earth once he took to the sky This is better though the top one is man wasn't meant to fly kids were You know who else is in this movie is Seth Green do you love Seth So this is everyone's final scores. Francis, four, Kelsey, five, Trudy, nine, Blake, eight, Mothman is at five, and the scientists are at seven. Jack Black's in the airport. Sorry.

So that's the spread. So basically you know that Francis is hurting badly and will be the lowest person. Do you guys want to carry him and Mothman? What do you guys want to do? I'm hurting badly? Not hurting badly, but you're the slowest one by far. Oh, okay.

So even though Trudy's hurt, she can move fast. Trudy got a really good roll. Trudy, help Francis. Francis, grab my hands. Okay. Oh no, my hands are coming off! Oh shit! No, no, I'm just- Well at least you gave me a hand. I'm being silly.

This is what a hand job's like? No, no! That's not! Doing the hands worth one in the bush? Give me a strength roll. Okay. I'm due for a bad roll because I had two good ones. I'm gonna use hot dice. Oh, we could do the fireman. I still succeed. I got a 47 out of 60.

Okay, great. In that case, you can, yeah, because you got your hover roller skates, Francis can go on your back and take your speed of nine. Yeah. Speed past Kelsey. Yeah, great. Sucks to suck. I wanted that for you, Francis. We'll knock you back down to eight. How are you handling Mothman? Are you carrying Mothman or is he on his own?

He has a speed of five on his own shoulder like arm around each of our shoulders if you guys are carrying them Then you're moving at Kelsey's pace not at your pace blade so that will lower the number of here's what I was thinking I could do is I could go ahead and like clear obstacles with my big Dump truck ass and the people pursuing you are a five well They already started off farther away, so if they're the same speed they'll never catch up I should know site their move is a seven damn. I knew it was Excited like a retcon I was gonna fix the banks mistake You know here's how this is gonna work true

Do you have four move actions Blake you have four move actions Mothman has one the scientists have three and four move actions. Mothman has one, the scientists have three, and Francis is on your shoulders, Trudy. You burst out of this office, you see this mob of sunburned scientists, you know, about two locations away, a little bit down this long hallway, and Francis, you remember the way back to Laika, and you're ostensibly in the lead with Trudy, so I assume guys all just take off down the hallway, right? Yes. Alright. I'm ratatouilleing Trudy in so I assume guys I'll just take off down the hallway, right? Yes. All right. I'm ratatouilleing Trudy in terms of telling her

when to turn. Nice, that's great. One less thing to worry about. You see a fork in the road and you know that to the right is Leica. As this alarm trips off and you're running down the hallway, you see that doors around you are popping open left and right as if automatically,

as if something in this facility is trying to flood the zone with things that are getting in your way To just try to slow you down with any and everybody it has available Is this like his like a working against us? No, no way. She loves us as this decided There's one big like stretch of hallway between you and the bad guys So they're gonna move up to the director's office where you guys just were you guys are gonna move Rounding the corner into the corridor towards Leica's room So we are now going to roll see if there are any hazards or barriers in this hallway waiting for you, and you guys rolled a

71 you guys spill around the corner a ficus a ficus Yeah, like a ficus tree tree like a plant why you have a little greener in your office, okay? Yeah, I like that this door bursts open and you see that it is in fact the experimental botany lab. And a writhing, ginormous ficus tree flops out of this laboratory and seems to be using its branches to inch its way across the ground. Ficus aren't native to this continent. That's why it's experimental. So this is going to be a hard hazard, okay, which means it's

Horde hazard, so you're gonna need to make a skill role to get through it You can use your movement actions to give yourself a bonus to this role. We'll go in terms of order of dexterity Blake you're up first. What skill are you what skill it depends on how you approach it? How do you want to do with this thing? I have a skill I can finally use been fucking Libraries, so no I've used that one. We were in the library. I got one more though It's a good one, Beth Let's just say I'm naturally gifted at things of this world in its natural world you might

Say that this plant, I already know a lot about it. Kelsey, do you have a plan to deal with the plant? Yeah, I know what that is. It's a plant. Okay. Great! No, your enemies have the battle, so... And get this, plants are not supposed to tip over on their own and crawl towards you, so I know that it's unnatural.

So actually, I think my use of natural it's not going to be that helpful. Like Ficus's are sensitive to changes in light level. So if you can just really change the light level, either up or down, it doesn't matter. It's just a change. Oh, that actually gives me an idea. I know what you're thinking Ficus F but botany B. Nice. When you say that, Mothman looks up at you and says, Moth Jesus has a thing for that. Just because he likes light.

It's like his sex toy. He is going to- Flashlight. No, it's just a flashlight. Oh, OK. I can make this area very dark. Will that be useful? None of us have night vision, so.

Can you see in the dark? One thing we have going for us is that we know where we're going. Well, if he can become the line leader, can you see in the dark? Yes. I'm the line leader. Yes is that we know where we're going. Well, if you can become the line leader, can you see in the dark? Yes. I'm the line leader. Yes, okay.

So if he makes it really dark, the Ficus will probably, you know, at least according to my understanding. Yeah, but then we'll be going by his speed, which is not very good. We're only as fast as the slowest of us, Francis. All right. The footsteps are getting around.

Probably time to start making the fucking decisions. Yeah, make it dark. Turn off the lights. Mossman casts Void Light, which creates a sink from which photons cannot emerge the entire area around you becomes pitch dark Thank you fucking ficus now. You're not gonna thrive Okay, this is bad for them is that what you're saying man, yeah plants Synthesis all right photo

How that works specifically according to Google which means according to Kelsey's learning is that ficuses are particularly sensitive to changes in light and they may not thrive. They are moved from a consistent location. So the ficus, this man-sized man-sized ficus goes. This is kind of like, you know, sentient, maybe it's, this is our hydrated strength argument. You've never heard a tree scream before.

But you now hear this tree scream. Everybody. That's it, I'm not eating vegetables anymore. Ha ha ha ha. Only meat from now on! Ah! It starts to rear back, to go back into the light of the room that it came from. It's like a moth, it's drawn to the light.

We will say that it pulls back away from the room. But you can't tell if the hallway is clear, because you cannot see. But you hear it starting to slither back. Into your hands and wings, we command ourselves. Bring us to like a mothman. And then mothman says, hold. Bring us back to life. Hold. Okay.

Then he goes, okay, go. And then you guys take off because he can see in the dark. It's like a trust exercise with moth Jesus. Wow. Not bad. What matters most to you? Is it unforgettable adventures? Connections with lifelong friends?

Peaceful moments of reflection? Feelings of joy and freedom you can't wait to experience again and again? Or is it the vehicles that help you make all those special moments possible? Whatever your answer is, Toyota is here to bring you closer to the things that matter to you. Because they matter to us too. Toyota. For what matters most.

It's pitch dark in here. Is there anything you would like to do before you leave this location before this other group rounds the corner? Ah, can we throw some things onto the ground to maybe fuck with the people following us? Good idea. Oh, there's a vending machine on the wall. We'll say that actually a machine That sounds like an invention of the capitalists. Well this one is you know free. It's All the buttons and then tip the vending machine. It's like a community library Snack like just out of reach so they'll have to shake it and I'll fall on them

There's a bunch of... It's too dark to tell. Oh, you know what? Because yeah, they're all creepy and possessed. It's just corn in there, dude. Whoa. It's just like ears of corn in this thing. Ears of corn?

Yeah. Just like whole ears of corn in this thing. Not even chucked, dog. I said chucked. That's dumb. That's dumb. I'm dumb. No. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

You have this corn vending machine, this corn hub hub if you will You'll only remember where it was because it's not weird. We saw a vending machine of corn We're like that's weird So you have a vague recollection of where it is But you will have to spend a move one of your movement actions to grope around for it boss man Where was the vending machine with corn? Oh, it's right over here. Okay. I'm gonna go over tip it over for my little action Right over here. Okay. I'm gonna go over tip it over for my little action because my face is Terminator eyes and probably there's like some metal pieces sticking out I want to remove like a small spring or piece of metal from my my head

Okay, and then place it on the ground like a piece of metal like a pointy piece of metal that one might step on or something Like that is that the idea? Okay? No barefoot nails go through car tires, bro. We don't know We don't know if they're barefoot. You know what I shouldn't be yucking a plan. Give me a luck roll. What's my luck? It's 33 the Jesus number. I got a 48 You find this like really like nice sharp rod of metal like this like as you pull it out of your cheekbone Cool. Oh, that's four. Roll me a 1d6 Four. Alright, so four your teeth fall out when you do that. Oh no So now there are four of your teeth and you can set this pointy like nail wherever you want

They're like molars, right? They're not in the front of my mouth, right? It's just too dark. You can't see it Oh, no, Trudy the redneck robot probe around your mouth with your tongue Trudy to know which ones fell out. Oh my incisors All right, Trudy spent an action to do that and the teeth are on the ground now, too Yeah, and there's some teeth on the ground. They don't want to step on those teeth either. While they're gingerly trying to avoid the teeth That's when we hit them with the corn So wait are you trying to topple it over now or are you gonna wait? I'm gonna topple it over now.

Alright, give me a strength check. Does anyone want to help him? This is gonna be a hard strength check. I'm holding on to Trudy's. Alright, well then, alright Blake. This is gonna be a hard strength roll, let's go. 18 out of 75, which is a undiggity shiggity. Super success. Alright, this thing topples over and slams on the ground.

You hear the unmistakable sound of corn husks scattering everywhere. Now here's the thing, corn- I recognize that sound anywhere. Corn is, you know, like a tapered cylindrical object. Mm-hmm. Sort of like- I think with a super success, does it like fall out

and like cause a kind of tripping hazards and like whoops-a-s-a-s-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a? Well, how did you topple it over? I pushed it really fucking hard. I will give you a choice. Either you tipped it over on its face and now there's a large vending machine blocking the road that they're going to have to climb over, or you tipped it over on its side and there are now a bunch of small corn on the cob rolls scattered across the hallway that they will have to... And broken glass.

And a little bit of broken glass. So which would you like to do? On the side. I think on the side. Okay, great. You pull it over on its side, and yes, you hear the unmistakable sound of non-husked ears of corn bouncing across the floor. Nice. We'll give them a listen roll to see if they hear that sound. No way.

You got to be a farmer to know what that sounds like. But they eat corn all the time. Yeah, you think none of them ever drop their corn, dude? But they didn't hear it. They don't. So you're fine. Nice. Francis, do you want to do anything?

No, I think I'm just still navigating. Francis, you could have just pointed your leg down the hallway and gotten the free innocent kill. I here to use my freebie, and I don't have that many bullets. Can I suggest something that I can drop on the ground? Oh, you haven't done a thing yet. Yeah.

I want to say that in my pocket, Kelsey's, this isn't a good name for it, so just accept that this is, you know, we'll brainstorm this name later and decide if this is good, but she's got her naughty pocket. I think you nailed it at one Matt I'm gonna need more details Pocket or jacket when kids are playing with something shouldn't be playing in class

She puts them in her pocket and she gets them at the end of day She's got a bunch of jumping jacks in there. She's got a real stuffed naughty pocket A bunch of jumping jacks, you know essentially like cantrip. I know we'll come up with a better one They're just jacks, jumping jacks are a thing to dos Yeah, so she's got kids were playing too much jumping jacks The exercise that's right every time you say jumping jacks you're gonna have to do a jumping jack Okay, how many times I say it you don't do it now you know like in real life Our mats doing him all right there you go okay jumping jacks He's having a good we're We're gonna trick Matt into doing cardio. Okay. You gotta trick me to do it

So she's got a bunch of jacks cuz the kids are you know playing in class and okay So she's gonna throw some jacks out. Jacks isn't gambling. Dice is gambling. You can't gamble with any game Hey, hey Jimmy if you win this game of jacks you get a hundred dollars. Oh, yeah, but if I win I get the hundred dollars cool they gambled. Pfft. Hey, hey, I bet Jimmy's gonna win. Oh shit, now half the class is gambling because now they're betting.

This is an important point because this is what I brought up when pogs were big at my school and they banned pogs because they said it was gambling. And I went around and got a bunch of kids to sign a petition to bring to the administration to say we should just ban playing for keeps. And they did nothing with that

That's when I became disillusioned with the political process Idea I figure that you know Jimmy who's conically who I said was playing jacks I'll apologize to him later and buy him his jacks back I figured it was dropping on the floor if you get the jacks back the original Lego in terms of We've got the venue like boomers were like dae hate it when you step on your kids Jacks in the middle of the night guys ever done some jumbo jacks and landed right you said you got to do another one Yeah, you guys around the corner the next room will deal with what happens there But great as you run you hear in the pitch darkness behind you the sound of your creepy screeching sunburned pursuers

Stumbling around this hallway, and we're gonna see how they fare with these obstacles. They don't know are there There should be just like one normal guy. That's like So first we're gonna give them a luck roll for Beth's big fucking sharp piece of metal Oh when the group got a two so nobody managed to step on it. Trudy doesn't know that and she thinks she was very helpful. Yeah okay they also rolled very well on their luck for the Jacks so you can't tell if they stepped on any of them but they or maybe they just stepped over them or something like that. Vending machine corn. We're gonna make this one a hard luck roll because they're

corn everywhere. Come on come on. They fail, 86. Yeah, dude. So now it's gonna be a disadvantaged dexterity roll for them to not be hobbled and befuddled by all this corn they're slipping and sliding around on. Okay, well that's a 97. Fuck yeah, dude. Hell yeah.

Blake Lively, MVP. Okay, so yes, you hear the telltale sound of a large group of people running into a bunch of slippery rolls of corn And falling over on the ground No sweeter sound they all wipe the fuck out. I can't believe my ears guys spot You should be a colonel in the army. Yes, go ahead. You should be a colonel on this ear of corn Yes, I said colonel. What are you trying to spy? Never mind ignore that. I mean just a normal success I don't think it's good enough for what I was looking for. What were you looking for? I want to see since they have a whole vending machine of corn kind of like you know if you got like a coffee machine

They got like those little stirrers and stuff right? Corn accessories? So I feel like if they had a vending machine of corn they'd have those little spikes for corn on the cob You know you put on other side little corn on the cobblers What are those invented? And there's little spike. You know, you put on either side of the little corn on the cob holders. And there's little spikeys. You think they're all little handlers? Yeah, you want to grab some little weapons.

I do love those. Oh, no, I like that. For the normal success? Yeah. Yeah, you find, OK, yes. You have like a little table with some corn accessories. I see all these corn on the cob holders. Matt, we will say that you have a bunch of little corn

holders. Gear up. Gear up, everybody. They're like little knives. There's also one of those movie theater butter dispensers. Ooh. If someone wants to rip that off the wall, they can take that with them.

It's not even butter. Hey, just rip it off the wall and just spill the butter. Well, she can't, because she's carrying Francis. Oh. Choose wisely, Western man. You can either choose the pointy corn holders or the wall butter. Blake, you chose correctly last time.

Should I put butter on the floor? Or should I grab these little tiny knives? And each knife has two little knives. It's like double knife. Need I remind you what your catchphrase is, Kelsey? Get that butter. Okay, well getting the butter means not spilling it. I'm just gonna grab the butter and carry it.

Okay, great. I got the butter! You had to drop the butter! Yeah, but maybe we'll need it later for more... I don't think we will! I don't think we will! Okay, fine. They already got knocked out.

We're gonna deal with... Okay, I'm gonna hold onto the butter, Trudy! Okay. I'm gonna hold onto it. You hear them knock out. You emerge from the darkness, and you're once again sprinting down the hallway towards Laika. We're gonna do another hazard roll to see if any other horrible things happen to you.

Francis, Laika likes you. Maybe call out... Francis, do you think Lyca knows what's happening? I think Lyca's got access to all the security games and stuff, so yes, for sure. So she's not helping us, she's kind of... Well, was there any audio on the cameras I'm trying to remember? But she knows we got her treats. Yeah. Like wave the treats in the air maybe so she knows that we're trying to come for treats. Oh, that makes sense.

And I wave the treats and I go, treats, treats, Lyca's a good girl! Please open the way, good girl! And block the way behind us? And block the way behind us, make treats treats like is a good girl Please open the way good girl and walk the way behind us behind us make things easier for us good girl as you emerge from The darkness you see like us room straight ahead of you, but then I rolled a 90 Oh probably good friends. No, that's not good for you. That's very bad for you This is for the random barriers and hazards so that 90 plus is eight It's another hard hazard slash barrier. Since we did a hazard last time, we're gonna do a barrier this time.

This is what I have in mind for your barrier. Oh, the glass ceiling. There's one last intersection before you get to Laika's room. As you run up the hallway, you hear bam, bam. You hear these heavy footfalls. As you go towards the hallway, you hear the ground shaking, and then right before you get to the edge of the hallway,

you hear something like a light and leap, and then again, you're in a big, almost like open, high-ceilinged area. You see a one-bedroom hut, like a house, slammed down in the middle of the hallway. Okay! With a door shut right in front of you. This house just slams into the hallway, blocking your path to like on of you. This house just slams the hallway,

blocking your path to like on. Is there any space to the left or right? Not enough for you to wedge through. It's like about six inches on eight. Why is it we are really slippery? Okay. Six inches. Six inches.

What if we were all buttered up? What if we were all buttered up, let's just say. There's barely enough room on the side. Step butter. No. If someone wanted to get greased up. It looks like a sort of medieval Russian peasant's hut just slams down in front of you.

Give everybody a spot hidden rule. Okay. On the scale of like the three little pigs, on the scale of like hay, mud, brick, you know, how strong is this hut? It's a I got a super successive spotted. Oh, I don't even care. I failed the hut seems to be made of like thatched like I was the Weakest one. Yeah, it was on the stick What was it? Sticks and bricks?

It's straw, it's a straw hut. Whoa, so it's really weak. And by the way, bricks, come on, like you live in Tornado Alley, you know the torsional and the fucking torx, right? The bricks is pretty fucking bad. Okay, so it's a pretty weak hut. Anthony, you got super successful. So you see that the hallway this thing appeared to have jumped down from, down the hallway you see a sign. It's the Psionic Slavic Folk Apparition Wing of the Research Center.

It's a Psap! Psap! No, no, Francis, it's much more legible in Russian. But yes, there are, there's about, it would be an extreme dexterity to squeeze your way through. It would be a hard dexterity if someone got greased up first. Okay, you're getting ready to be. Now what about busting through a Kool-Aid man style nice?

Yeah, can we attack us from two fronts can we just beat this fucking fat spree? Can we just beat his ass? Up to you up to you time is ticking. I'm gonna give you guys One minute to figure out how you want to approach it. We just check the door lock is a lot Oh the door itself. That's the number one thing you should do You know how he moves to do where they do we just check the door lock is a lot? Oh the door itself. So that's the number one thing you should do. You know how movies do where they do that like, oh the door was locked the whole time, so let's just check the lock.

The door is not locked. Oh, I opened it. No, no, no, no, no, careful! It is psionic, it could be Baba Yaga in there. I opened it. You opened the door. It's Baba Yaga. It's Jabba, your bantha father.

You open the door. I want to touch Yama. And the first thing you see is in fact a wart covered wrinkled old woman stirring a big mortar with a pestle. And she looks at you and says, get out of my house. Oh, I was just delivering and I put the butter down and I closed the door.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Could you see a back door when you opened it? I was just delivering and I put the butter down and I close the door Could you see a back door when you opened it? Oh, I'm gonna peek open. Oh Sorry, I didn't mean I didn't mean to interrupt and I want to look to see if I see a back There's no back door that will say there's a window. Oh If someone was greased up Reddits last D&D our DM keeps pushing us to get greased up in his campaign. Ma'am, do you mind if we just go through that back window? And she just looks at you and goes, eeeh, and her mouth is growing bigger and bigger and bigger. I don't think she wants that.

Does the door open outwards or inwards? Would a thatch house even have a door? She's got like one of those, it's like a cloth. It's like one of those clothes. It's like one of those it's like a cloth It's one of those clothes Is this butter enough for all of us to be greased up to try to make it through the window Does he want to grease up? I'm just trying you want this well So you tell us how we can make you grease up all of us reduce grease up the way We'll got a little railroad II when it came to the butter

I think that sees it's enough for one of you to grease up your whole body, but you can all grease your feet up. Okay. We all grease our feet up and we show Will our feet. I grease up my roller blades and then I'm gonna jump over the house. You're gonna jump over the house. Oh, is there space above?

Surely there's way more room above than there are on the side. That changes the whole population. Yeah, is there room above? Well, there has to be. You said it jumped. Yeah, so yes, there is, yes. There more room above that changes the whole population. Yeah, is there room above well there has to be I've jumped yes, so yes, there is yes. There's room above the house You could climb over the house and being greasy unfortunately won't help you do that hovering off the ground certainly well It's also like sticks and stuff so like it's probably pretty easy holds in terms of alright Here's what happens you guys have been debating this long enough. You see the stumbling army will distract us by talking about greased feet though

Yeah, welcome to my perverted plan. Oh, no now. They all are by talking about greased feet though. Yeah, welcome to my perverted plan Oh, no now they all are gonna see your greased feet now. They're all gonna see your dirty greasy feet Deranged scientist starts to stumble around the hallway. What do you want to do? We're gonna go in dexterity order right now timing I'm gonna throw tru the up. You're gonna eat Trudy over She's already hovering. I'm gonna do a sick grab with my skates and then Francis you're clinging on to Trudy style Like our style. I'm gonna sort of grab onto the top of the roof and try to like swing us both with the momentum Like over it. Okay, great Blake that's gonna be a movement action from you. And give me a strength check to see how hard

you throwing right now. 87 out of 75. Okay, so actually no, well say give me advantage because Trudy does have hover boots on. Ah, 27. Nice. That's a super success. Super success, all right.

Describe to me how you shot put these two up the fucking, what do you do? Trudy, onto my shoulders. Okay. And then so she hovers onto my shoulders and I just stand up really fast I go huh Okay, so you just launch her that way okay great Trudy you are now airborne with Francis

I'm 1993 major motion picture airborne. Okay, sick I assume you're also kind of jumping when you do this sure give me an advantage dexterity role to clear Sure. Give me an advantage dexterity roll to clear this. Baba Yaga's hut. To clear Baba Yaga's hut with the help of Blake's yeeting. Can I do jump instead, since I have more jump? Whoa, you have jump? Yeah.

In the words of Van Halen, you might as well jump. Yeah. I only have a 27 in jump, but it's two more. OK. So there you go. Advantage, remember. 77. OK.

Oh, so you need a one or a two. 17. Yo! Holy shit. So again, Beth, paint us the picture. Time slows down. The coolest song you've ever heard, but you don't know what it is, starts playing.

It's a rock song. Francis soars from Trudy's back over the house and does like a sick flip. Like I get launched off you? Yeah I think. Okay. Get in a safe way. You're like the skateboard, like she's gonna let go of you but she's gonna get you back. Yeah. You're like the skateboard doer. You're doing like a Christ air with Francis? Yeah I'm doing a Christ air with Francis. You invent the Christ air? That's why they call it Christ air with Francis? Yeah, I'm doing a Christ You invent the Christ air. Mm-hmm. That's why they call Christ because my I call it the moth Jesus air I'm on Jesus Christ invented the Christ air No

I'm up there. Hey Matt, I hate to break it to you, but old J event did not Like going to like a skateboard church where they're like body of Christ, heir of Christ? If a youth pastor launched and nailed a 720 Christ heir, I'd convert right there. Yeah, that's true. You Christ heir over the top of Baba Yaga. With like a 540. Okay, with a 540. So you land backwards.

You stick the landing on the other side with Francis on your back. Francis, anything you want to contribute here Is anything you want to do apparently I am a prop at this point, and I'm happy to be I'm happy to be the cross to your Christ sick Wow I just want to hang out if Jesus Christ invented the Christ here They would have made skateboards out of the cross and sold them as like the one true board. Yeah skateboarding slay Already know all the skateboarding all right so that all the Tony Hawk games. I take that primo

That takes care of the two of you you guys are on the other side of this barrier that leaves two more of you in A moth well Jesus very hurt right mm-hmm We check the power of his wings like if we were to like climb and, like would he be able to flap his wings to like, you know, make it easier for us lighter? Oh, I see. So you want him to like, you want to like- Just lie in the load for us as we're like climbing up this thing. Like with that- You guys are just going to scale the house?

Yeah. Well, that was one thought. Sure. You scale with Moth Jesus. I will boost you to help you from behind. I will take care of Baba Yaga. Oh man. Okay. That's what I wanted to hear. Blake, give me another string. I'm going to hand you the butter. Be like, grease up if you got it. what I wanted to hear. Blake give me another strength.

I'm gonna hand you the butter. Be like, grease up if you got it. You know what to do. You know what to do. And I start rubbing it all over myself in anticipation. Blake rips his shirt off and douses himself in the butter. Let me get your back. Strength roll number two with Kelsey and Moth Jesus.

Yes. 95 out of 75. Well we'll say that because Moth Jesus is flapping his wings, you're gonna get one more shot at this as an advantage. 55 out of 75, so normal success. Yep, all right, Kelsey, give me. Right before, oh, what do I need to give you? You need to give me an advantage

to jump or dexterity, your choice. And I wanna say something right before he launches us. 20. You got 20? I got 20. Okay, great, what do you say before you jump? I go, Blake, listen, ready? He launches us. 20. You got 20? I got 20. Okay, great. What do you say before you jump? I go, Blake, listen, ready?

Baba Yaga, 12 o'clock, one o'clock off, exactly 32 feet, there's a small window. It is two feet by 18 inches, okay? Vertical, turn sideways. There is a small rug to the left. It looks slippery. A small dining room table to the right of the window. And then Blake gently puts a finger

He lives and says fear not Kelsey. This is not the first time I have encountered Baba Yaga Speed millionaire plumber, and I'm gonna go I told you I'd come back So yes you leap over mothman is straining, but is able to flap his wings and Get you over the side everyone is over on the other side except for you, Blake. And I turn around and I see the shambling hordes. I say, if you wish to have me, come and claim me. And then I whip the curtain aside and I step into Baba Yaga's house. Husband?

And I go, Baba Yaga? She looks at you and she narrows her eyes and she says, We meet again? Life again. And this time I bring you fresh souls Dive through face first Yeah, that's great I hope you become like Pooh Bear. I hope we got pull you out of this window

This will be a dexterity role does he get a branch because I gave him all this information So you like a heads up in terms of like Kelsey give me an intelligence role. I was wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, The room is just as Kelsey described it. So you're trying to jump through a narrow window. Greased up. Greased up. So here's what we're going to say. We're going to do a straight dexterity roll to jump through the window. And then we'll give you an advantaged luck roll because of the grease to see if you make it

through without getting stuck. All right, dexterity is a super duper success. 15. This is not the first time I have left through Baba Yaga's All right, dexterity is a super duper success 15 This is not the first time I have left Just paint us a picture the last time between you two I will maybe get into it if someone asks we just did It's just like riding a bike jumping out out of fucking Baba Yaga's window for you. You remember the exact spot that you used to kip up and parkour off of her fucking stone? And the little twist that I did? Yeah, you do a pirouette, but now you remember because you banged your head last time.

They're like, what better duck and roll a little bit. Tuck my chin a little bit. And you sail through the window, but you're not quite as svelte as you used to be. That's true. The last time you did this you were a lot smaller. Every day when Baba Yaga boned every night. When her partner was out town. Svelte as you used to be that's true the last time you did this you were a lot smaller Yeah, when dad Baba when data yoga came back was a book and you went out the window Give me and a luck roll with advantage for the grease to see if you in fact get stuck in this window

First role is a 60. OK. Out of what? 60 out of 29. Oh, god. The second roll was a 10. Oh, shit. I fucking clear the luck, baby. Skater Trudy hits Francis against the side

of the quarter pipe like a skateboard and be like, that was Steezy as hell. So yeah, we'll say that like in an Avengers kind of moment, like this all happens simultaneously on the other side of it. Like you see fucking Trudy sticks this landing with Francis right as Mothman is flapping his wings and Kelsey lands and then right at that moment,

a greased up shirtless fucking Blake Lively blasts out of Baba Yaga's ass. Pure wedding through it like a torquey, like spiraling like a Tom Brady football. Greased up shirtless fucking Blake Lively blasts out of Bobbiyog as a Spiraling like a Tom Brady football I think either you just like flow through super easy or like the moment you hit the window It is like too small for you, but then like kind of like one of those play-doh machines. You just stop And turns to the girl and I say We must make haste We do not want to be near here

When she begins harvesting these souls And Tree's like, you know what they say A moth flaps its wings in Russia The coolest tornado happens Also in Russia Kickflip Alright so Coolest tornado happens also in Russia All right, so you guys have now made it through you're right at like his door before you entered like his room We hear of course So behind you all the guys are running and then they skid to all cuz they know this is Bobby eyes

And I think we can take it They all tasted Baba Yaga. But I told them if they... That's where she gets her power. But I told them if they wish to have me they had to come and claim me. The scientists are going to attempt to put together an offering for Baba Yaga to win her favor in this fight. Yeah, how about a new fucking window? They all look amongst each other and they all line because they're all a hive minor. They all do everything for the greater good. Nice.

They all line up by height. They gotta be really good at sex then. They're gonna need long straws. The greater good. Nice. They all line up by height. They gotta be really good at sex then. And the tallest. They're gonna need long straws. The tallest, most beautiful and virile looking scientist at the end of the line nods solemnly and they all like sort of like lick their thumbs and stamp them on them and like,

they do like little blessings on them and stuff like that. And then he walks forward and prostrates himself in the doorway of Babiaka. We are gonna roll to see if this offering of man flesh is enough to persuade her to aid them in her pursuit. He prostates himself? He prostates himself. Can I say they use butter like the Catholics use ash for ash Wednesday and they like cross their hands and go over there. Simba. I need another detail. It's like dating in LA man. There are a lot of 10s in LA. I know but detail. It's like dating in LA man

There are a lot of tens in LA. I know but when you're an eight it's tough Wait then who's the nine? So they got an 11 so Baba Yaga looks pleased with their offering And shit the door to her hut closes and as you step into Laika's office you hear an ecstatic moan of pleasure turn into a curdling scream of agony a curdling creamy scream of agony as blood a geyser of blood blasts out of that window but sated Baba Yaga turns sides and you see two big chicken legs stick out of the hot and it rises and turns towards you and Baba Yaga has now joined the pursuit. Oh no! She comes once and all of a sudden we're like, Jesus Christ, bitches be crazy! We'll say that you've got one distance between you, them, and Baba Yaga and now

you're at like a... you barge into the room and Lika's like, treats? Yeah, I toss a handful of treats at like a like half-passively and I go shut the door I can do that Skateboard and I silently go stiff Kid flip a kid flip you've heard of pushing Mongo, but this is pushing man go Scaters out there Fucking skaters because I'm cool like a skater to hell yeah, so clarify like his room is a dead end like his room is a dead end Yes As far as we know as far as you know and the doors locked behind us the bubble yaga's hut cannot go through this

This is a normal size door right that's true. Okay good nice. They picked the wrong ally What's the quickest way from here to Mothman's ship that we can get to safely? This is very simple you simply go out this door and back the way you came No we can't, no, no no what is wrong what is happening? Baba Yaga is outside and everybody and they're coming to take your treats Baba Yaga is outside yes she just had sex or something this is not the first time Laika has faced Baba Yaga why she gets around wait you help Laika you are friend to Laika with your many treats yes yes Laika will help you escape

thank you thank you very well what would you like Laika to do who friend to Laika with your many treats. Yes. Laika will help you escape. Thank you. Very well. What would you like Laika to do? We just gotta go to the spaceship. If you can find a way to clear out the hallway, like redirect them, or like, I don't know, is there an acid button in addition to the big hut button? Or is there like a vent? Are there vents here that we can climb through? Man-sized vents. Man-sized vents. Let me think. Let me think. Let me think.

Laika, draw upon your non-Euclidean geometry to reshape the form of this base and put us next to... Yeah, can you fold space real quick? Just, it's always worth asking. It never hurts to ask. That's true. There's a lot of weird stuff here. Laika's eyes roll back at her head as she ponders your many questions. She's like, I need treats to power my thinking. Give me many treats and I will think, I will think hard. With no hesitation, I do so. You're a good girl, don't forget that. It's like feeding punch cards into an old machine. Yeah, as she cookie monsters this huge box of dog treats,

she sort of lolls around in ecstasy and then her eyes bolt open as she has a plan for you. Do you remember that little moth that was following you guys around the window? Yeah, do you remember? Yeah, dude, that moth is incredible Yeah, you're- I mean, that mouth watched us beat ass that whole episode. It kind of lands on Laika's nose, and Laika's eyes go wide, and Naeg goes like, yes, yes, of course I know the way. I know what we must do, yes.

First, I will open the hangar door so you can escape in your ship. Oh, great. And then she closes her eyes, and you hear like, off in the distance, like a, boop, boop, as this thingBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOB We would have just died. We would have died. They would have just closed the door and we died. Yeah. That would have been the end. So good thing you guys didn't do that. And then Laika says, I also know a way for you to escape.

Right. There is man-sized maintenance hatch under my station. You need to rip me off pedestal and climb through and there will be tunnels that can take you to safety. Moth will show you the way. Is that going to kill you? Yeah. It may not be good for Laika. I have one more request for you. Is that going to kill you? Yeah. It may not be good for Lyca.

I have one more request for you. Is it going to be sad if you do this? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Lyca can survive several minutes detached from system, just enough time to get to ship. All Lyca wants is to see the stars one more time. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. If you take me with you so that I may see the

stars then it is okay that I go. What's the system that's keeping you? Like what's it providing? Maybe we could jury rig something. Yeah Mothman do you think you could become part of your ship or like live on your ship? We may try. I don't know. Okay. Probably have to roll for it. It sounds very complicated. It's an app from an unsigned developer. Well either way I promise we will do our best to get you to the stars. Thank you Okay, he's your dog I decided The more things holding a dog Blake has a cat Yes, great

off man yes great what's the animal in the encyclopedia yeah yeah yeah yeah because of her sisters we guess her over sister's house Francis has a dog but Kelsey's got that dog in her dog and you doesn't do much those lovely nights as like it says thank you you hear the unmistakable sound of two huge chicken feet stomping down a corridor with a house on top of them, followed by the scurrying sounds of many a scientist as they close in on the room. Francis, give me a strength check to rip Lyca off of her station. Francis, don't forget to right click and safe eject My strength is a 45 and I rolled a 58

Francis please step aside and stop making that noise to what we do Don't worry Francis Kelsey, let's do this. Yeah, okay. Three, two, one, strength roll. Oh fuck, I helped. I got 22 out of 37. I got 94. So sparks fly as you manage to rip Lyca's sort of like pedestal off of this

off of the ground. And there is sure enough a big hatch in the floor. That you can narrowly crawl through if you would like to. How are we getting Leica over? Is there like a chip or something? When you pop this thing off, Leica has like a dog collar that has like sealed off

the bottom of her head. And it's plugged into a bunch of wires. But as you rip it out, you see stuff start to power down. But the thing has a little bit of an innate charge left in it. Maybe you can wire wired into Trudy Oh, I mean, I would ask you first obviously Maybe even instead of a ship we can like put like on like a little like, you know Like a little like wheelchair thing like a little you're wasting time. Oh, yeah

I suppose that if we can't fit through this man's size hole we could always use butter. Oh, it's all hug Blake Ah, yes, everyone rub up against me. I feel like I'm good Francis. You can rub against my feet Like I have to pick it back up sorry We'll just do a knife that it's a spoon You're sensationalizing the story a little bit. I'm creating clickbait in real time. You won't believe what Will did. You won't believe what this dungeon master did to his podcast. That cast me.

I'm feeling when you get a spoon thrown at you. How can you throw a spoon? Let's go. Let's go, Matt. The vents. The vents. What was blocking the vent? Laika's body, essentially.

It was like a big pedestal that Laika was on. And below the pedestal is this hatch. It's like a maintenance hatch to work on Lyca from below. Everybody get in. I'm the biggest too, so just in case I get stuck, I should be last down the water slide. No, you can't get stuck. You have to eat the butter.

Yeah, I know, I'm hugging Blake still. I'm rubbing it all over myself. I will go first, so I will spread some additional butter resin Francis as you can see from my dump truck ass Oh my god be a problem. I can't even see the light around you everybody be careful because we'll only have a margarine of inches I want to spot hidden to see there's anything that if I'm gonna the last one anything that it was a chair or a Round trash can like anything that can go over the over the hole like just to make it a spot hidden to see there's anything that if I'm gonna the last one anything that it was a chair or a round Trash can like anything that can go over the hole over the hole like just to make it a little harder to see

Yeah, give me a roll. You just buys us some seconds, you know a 26 my hidden is Second what do you see success? I see to the right of like there was the dog that used before it's just dead now It's in formaldehyde Like you're not using that monitor, but they didn't take the storage is off on the side of the desk I'll tell you I just say this as I have a computer monitor at my feet at this Actually, so I just pulled that one off and then I'm gonna put that so like then they'll think we went through is her holes underneath That guy too. No, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no you find yourselves crawling through a man-sized vent, you hear this door burst open behind you,

and you hear Baba Yaga go like, find them, find Blake Lively and his little dog too! Wow. Oh, it's Blake's dog. Which one of us is the dog? Am I the dog? No, the dog is the dog. The dog is the dog.

Oh, shit. Lika's the dog. I'm just reading about these Soviet space dogs. There were a lot of them, actually. Belka and Strelka. And they all died really scared. Yeah. If you're in Los Angeles, the Museum of Jurassic Technology has an exhibit of paintings and

portraits of the Soviet space dogs, and it's awesome. I've been to that museum, but I didn't see them. Upstairs, Beth. You guys are scooching your way through. Let's go ahead and do another hazard roll to see if there's anything in these tunnels. Not this time, dice. Not this time. And yes, the moth is leading the way the moth I don't know which way I get Baba. Yeah, we got a 66. This is a regular hazard. Okay. You there's some yucky slime in here

Don't worry. I will add some more slime to it and I just slip right through it. Okay butter it up even more give me a Give me a buttery roll. Cause you're just gonna muck straight through it. Yeah. You're gonna muck through the yucky slime. Butter neutralizes acids. Oh shit dude.

He wins. You beat my trap. My impromptu slime trap. Give me a sanity roll. 78 out of 85, out of 72 actually. Roll one D4 sanity. One. Okay, you lose one sanity and you realize realize that you don't know what you're under this seems to be leaking in from another one of these laboratories something dimension dripping on the floor and

Like when you smell this slime it gives you a sense memory of give me Blake's Happiest moment of his entire life. Oh, that would probably be the first fucking Baba Yaga. First fucking Baba Yaga. No. Go ahead. No, the happiest moment of Blake's life, he had a birthday party somewhere as a child. And there was like a little construction toy set,

and he kind of like made two pipes fit together. And he was like, as a child, ah, this will be my career. And he spent an entire day undoing and re-fastening pipes. As Blake wriggles through this slime, he narrates that story to all of you. This reminds me of my 12th birthday party. Oh, that's nice. One of my friends gave me a pipe.

Another friend gave me, luckily, the same same size pipe and Papa had a coupler and Mama gave me PVC glue Now thinking back on it. It may have been the fumes of the PVC glue that I'm remembering Who's after Blake? I'll you know kind of put Francis, okay? So Francis you are now army crawling after Blake Are you gonna try to avoid the slime or go through this line? You could avoid it Well, I mean like you didn't try to you just blasted through it You could have tried boy the time that me he like smeared all over himself. It's not there anymore. No. There's still slime

Slime I will do my best to avoid it. Okay. Give me a dexterity roll Disadvantaged because of Brugnano. I'm just using my upper body though to avoid it. It doesn't matter. I still passed okay All right nice be a gentleman and put your coat down. We're just slaying for Trudy You avoid the slime and do not have to share your happiest memory Trudy you're next I'm also gonna try to avoid it and I will do that by Doing that itsy bitsy spider dance that everybody's doing right now that looks really cool, but I don't know how to do it dang All right, well, I hope our audience knows what that looks like. Can you give me a dexterity roll?

41. Alright. And I have a... Give me your sanity. Sanity roll. Sanity roll. 47 sanity and I roll a 68. Okay, so roll, give me a 1d4.

1. Alright, you lose 1 sanity. As you splash into this slime, you smell a scent so familiar to you, and it takes you right back to that moment when, and you don't have to do it twice, you can just explain it as truly what you're saying. Maybe this sounds weird, but the slime, it smells like after I brought Timmy home from the hospital, and I gave him a bath, and his hair smelled wonderful,

and I was just sitting with him, bath and his hair smelled wonderful and I was just sitting with him and Smelling his hair. Maybe that's creepy, but I just I just felt so Content okay, Matt. You're up next Kelsey would love to have a really nice memory, but she's also very very low on sanity That would be I will try to avoid it now that the naughty pockets empty I don't have any reason for the jacket so I'm gonna But I'm gonna take the jacket off and put it over the slide Okay, yeah, all right We don't have to do a dexterity roll for that

But give me a luck roll to see if you manage to avoid gooping yourself with this slime while you do that I mean, I just have 15 luck. So can I just do a dexterity roll? yourself with this slime while you do that. I mean, I just have 15 luck, so can I just do a dexterity roll? No. Seems like it was a good idea. I always fail on a luck roll. No, this would be luck, because essentially, it's like you've laid this down.

I got four. All right. Congratulations. You lay this thing down, and you scoot your way across it, and then Mothman follows after you. And then as you guys are doing that, you hear the pedestal wrench open behind you. And you see a little peek-a-boo jack-o-lantern

Like one of these scientists sticks their heads down and says there they are I found them there they are I found them Trudy and Blake give me a power roll. How is 85? I'm pleased to report a 25 sick I'm just a super success obviously I fail Blake as you're crawling through the tunnel and the farther way you get from that slime You feel this yearning to go back to it. Like, you just want to crawl back to it and breathe in it, and just live there, and just smear it all over yourself. But you're able to fight it off as you remember the situation you're in, and you manage to go forward.

But Trudy. You know what it is, the smell of butter keeps me grounded. Yes, yeah, the smell of butter does, in fact, cancel out the poison that was on the ground. Trudy, you are not so lucky. The sense memory of the smell of your son's hair right after he was born. Things have been so dark and full of despair lately that you feel an irresistible urge to crawl back and live in that puddle. Kelsey, you are right behind Trudy and you see Trudy basically just stop and like dig her arms into the vent. Cause she doesn't want to move forward.

She doesn't want to move forward. Trudy, dear, can you push forward? I have to go back. Go back where? I left him before, I can't leave him again. I can't leave him again. I have to be back with him. Oh, you need to go back?

Yes, back, back where I smelt. Trudy, I'm gonna help you go back, okay? Okay. Okay, seeing that she's like clearly, I'm gonna try to reason with her, and be like, yeah, sorry, you know, just kind of a big gal, can't really move out of the way. So I think the fastest way to get back is

if we go forward and we get out, then we can turn around and I'll push you back the other way, okay? Let's do it, we can do this, let's go back. We gotta go back by going forward though, because you can't get around me. I like that. What do you want to roll for that, Matt?

Persuade is 55, I'd like to do Persuade. Okay, give me a Persuade roll. We'll call this a hard roll. Hard means I have to do a super success? Yes. I got 29. My super success is 27. How much luck do you got left? I have 15 luck. I'll do it. I got 13 luck. Oooh. We got the luckiest number to end on. We gotta get her going. Oh 13, that's great. Can I spend one more luck so I only have 12 luck. Why would you want to spend one? Interesting

It makes no sense, but I'm doing it damn and William. It's crazy by doing that you get two locks of your 14 now Yes, I got elevators actually this feels like this is a sort of glitch Yeah, then he will never go to the elevator actually so even though it is floor Well, he might use more than two luck or more than one luck on his next luck roll So yeah, that's what we'll see there is no 13 luck. So now you have 11 luck wait You have 12 luck Trudy you are now convinced you still want to get back there But you trust Kelsey enough that even though this doesn't make sense Kelsey's never betrayed you before she never hurt you before so you're gonna Go along with it. I'm lying like I feel like I'm filling up. It's me very hard to get past me

Yeah, that's true, but I mean you're not probably not gonna go back in the bed after Too late. I just have to keep going He's he doesn't love me anymore. Of course he loves you. He will always love you. And we're gonna get you. Drew, what is that? I'm hearing that again.

Everybody loves you. You're great. We'll keep going. I just have to keep going forward. We're gonna save him. You're following this moth and then all of a sudden it sort of sticks to a vent in front of you and if you pop it open, which I assume you do. What will you do?

Nothing would surprise me at this point. I and I punch it open my powerful okay sick So then you find yourself in the middle of a vast hanger The door currently opening all of the cards that normally you would probably have to tangle with are busy Frantically trying to get the door to shut they're banging on it and pushing against it. Nothing's working. I turn around go Be very very quiet. It's like an episode one quite gone and obi-wan they dropped out of the van They're in the they're in the hangar a Kelsey. What the fuck? What was the quote you were right the negotiations were short Look master destroy us. There's a straight shot were short. Look, master, destroy us.

There's a straight shot to you and the Mothmobile. Wow, how impressive. Francis says as he stealthily puts the padlock onto Brunhilda that he kept from his suicide attempt. Wait, what? The padlock that prevents Brunhilda from firing, canonically, Francis took it off before he tried to kill himself and he kept the lock. And at this moment, while he is pretending to be distracted by the majesty of the spaceship and all the chaos going on He is going to put the lock stealthily onto Brunhilde's trigger guard so that she cannot kill

Mothman with her in the ship you took the lock off when you went outside to go kill yourself So you pocketed the lock suicidal Suicidal people do sometimes do things that go against your understanding. Fair enough, I'll allow it. Give me a sleight-of-hand roll. Oh, I got a 20. My sleight-of-hand is 10 and I have 70 luck which I'm gonna spend 10 of to go down to 60 luck and meet the success threshold. So you lock Brunhilde? Yes, Brunhilda can no longer fire. Don't caveat that! Okay!

Good job, Anthony. This whole time I've been wondering how I'm going to get the lock back on. Because I was like, I forgot you didn't have it. Once we got in the space, I was going to be looking around, but you kept it. I sure did. I knew I'd have to drop that at the right time. I knew I'd have to fuck you over eventually. The second she feels this lock tighten, you can sense that she's like about to pull this trigger just now, whoever was behind her,

which right now is Kelsey. And so if you had botched that roll, she would have shot Kelsey in the face. But you manage to clip it just in time before you feel the trigger snap back and she's like, Frances, what are you doing, Frances? It's time, Frances, not again. Not this time, not this time, Frances.

I'm too tired to do it. I'm just, I have a headache. Maybe tomorrow? She goes dead quiet. Owned. We're out. Good job, Francis. Yeah, no problem. Quietly let us sneak onto the ship. Yeah.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Uh, well, yeah. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Okay, so you guys are creeping out of the vent to, um, to sneak out. But as a group, we kind of like shift between pieces of cover that cover us up And we fill our whole bodies with like the size of the cover Yeah, like something we're behind a bunch of barrels and it's only we're behind a bunch of cutouts in their exact shape Everybody give me a stealth role to make it to the ship

21 out of 90 okay great so nice 47 out of 20 13 out of 90. Okay great. So 47 out of 20. Okay 13 out of 39. Okay. 6 out of 20. Sorry guys. Kelsey's loud. Better roll for Mothman. Dude he's a moth. How many times you been like, Oh moth! Pretty much every time I see a moth in that situation. So the stealth has got to be fucking choice. Mothman got an 18 so everyone manages to sneak out. Hold on. Everyone manages to sneakily get over there. And then Kelsey, you didn't realize that you had one last jack that had fallen

from your naughty pocket down your pant leg. And then as you're stepping, it spills out and goes ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding on the the ground and then you step on it and it hurts Can I try to like no and slam my hand over Kelsey's mouth Kelsey's mouth sure you put your hand over Kelsey's mouth Kelsey give me a Constitution role to avoid screaming Pretty sure my constitution is not 83. Let me just double check So you so you flubbed your roll. Yeah.

Okay, so here's what we're gonna say is you bite down on Francis' hand and then Francis screams. Oh, fuck! And then... And then... And all of a sudden, the guards who are busy by the trying to stop the gate turn and see you and they run towards you.

But as they do so, Mothman is going to... Fire his laser cannons. Just like when Han Solo's leaving? No, he's going to activate the ship's turrets. He wants to obliterate these people. He wants to turn these people to dust, dude! Shadows and dust.

Shadows and dust, Maximus. He's going to cast Hypnosis. He steps forward between you and the rest of the group. He sort of like vibrates his thorax and this hypnotic pulse of sound. And how does that make us all feel? They are all going to have to make a power roll. So we'll see there's three guys. And all three of them fail. So they're all charging towards you and he's like and they just skid to a halt halt you don't need to see our identification

Mothman's like into the ship and he runs up and he slams his hand against the side of the ship and recognizing the Sensual touch of Mothman the ship's loading ramp falls down and you're able to scurry onto the ship if you would like to I feel Like I'm more of a scamper than a scamper instead of scurry. That's fine. That's fair. That's fair I'll scurry as you're running up you turn around you fire two blaster shots They're behind you okay, so you've all alighted onto Mothman ship man. We're home Blake and Francis and Kelsey and Trudy and the moth and Laika and Mothman all bound onto this ship I'm shit Mothman. I'll play chess in the galley of course as you're doing that this horde of scientists are beginning to scurry out of the vent. We should have put a thing in front of the vent. Yeah, it could have, should have, would have, but you didn't.

They all run out and now they are all En masse as a group going to run towards the gate and try to push it shut. As they are doing that Mothman charges through the ship He's staggering and limping and he comes to this sort of like Central shaft like a central door and he punches in this code on the door It's like a little secret kind of hand gesture recoding on the door and it slides open and you see the warp core of Mothman's Ship it's this pulsing dark crystal that's floating in midair It looks exactly like one of those bug zappers.

Yeah, it looks like a bug zapper. Ah. Is it glow blue? He's like, do not look directly at it! I mean, it's not a big deal. I don't feel like I have to get a close-up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's just a normal light.

It's just a thing. No one look. It hasn't been powered up yet. I need to boot up the engine so we may escape. He steps into the room and pounds a button and slams shut with him in there And you hear noises as he's beeping and booping lights and systems are starting to come on and you see outside This throng of scientists and they've managed to jam the motor of this gate

And they're now starting to push it back and it's starting to close and you have weapons weapons Mothman weapons Give me spot-hidden Freddy 33 out of 38. Ah, there's the weapons. So you see a mid, because again, I think as I described this last time, Mothman, a bit of a pack rat, a bit of a pack moth, not to mix metaphors, has collected junk and trinkets from humankind as he's been there witnessing your rise. And so you see a pile of old weapons and amongst them you find one of those old-timey grenades Like one of the pineapple ones? I feel like it's gotta be one of those potato masher grenades You're like one of those like a real Medal of Honor ass grenade. Oh like one of those stick grenades

Yeah, one of the stick grenades you find a stick grenade. Sherman stick grenades. Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Mothman is busy powering up the ship. It's going to take him one round to do that. You guys can all have an action to try to stall or stop the people closing the door if you would like to. I'm going to pick up this German stick grenade. Okay. And I mean, is there like a port, a hole, some sort of opening that I can chuck it out

of? Yeah. Yeah. We'll see that the little moth lands on like a port hole, like a little flap in the wall, and if you pop that sucker open, you'll be able to look out and see all of these guys just desperately pushing that door closed like across the hanger. It's like a hole where one might fire a gun through or throw a grenade out of. Like a castle porthole in this ship.

Yes, exactly. If this was Kingdom Come Deliverance, you'd be dropping a rock out of this thing. Ah, good engineering. Now, it is gonna be a bit of a throw to get it through this little hole, and if you fuck this up, it is gonna bounce back and land amongst your comrades, so just bear that in mind. I have watched much American football and the spiraling technique. I'm gonna try and like lob this thing through it at the people. Okay sick. Give me a throw roll. Oh Five out of twenty. Oh Okay. Yeah, I spent one luck to get a super duper success. Oh

Okay, do it. It's one. How much could it cost 15? Yeah, I spent one luck. All right Freddie So here's how this works each grenade delivers 4d10 to every enemy within 3 yards, 2d10 to those within 6 yards, and 1d10 to those within 9 yards. So these fuckers are pretty close together. Well, it's good that they're all clustered in a perfect circle. Okay, uh, yeah. You know what I mean? Like a little tight circle formation. Give me a

40 10 roll and a 2d 10 roll and we'll say that covers everybody and I'll tell you how many other were blown to smithereens Oh my gosh, this is bad. 3 4 4 d 10 is 20 and then 2d 10 Yeah, give me a 2d 10 as well 11 11 Uh, yeah, give me a 2d10 as well. 11. 11, okay. We're gonna say that you outright kill nine of them. And then we're gonna say that you pretty badly maim another three. But there's still technically 11 of them still up and pushing on this door. Despite how fucking horrific this explosion was, they seem pretty undaunted and like more determined than ever to get this door shut. The rest of you, is there anything you would like to do do There's people that are outside the ship that are closing the door Yeah, they're pushing this door and if it shuts you're gonna be trapped in here

But their ability to push it has definitely been halved if their fingers are slippery with something Maybe they can't get a grasp on the door. Yeah, we can't just go out there. We might not make it back in I'm gonna look through the little mermaid dinglehop Pile and see if I can find another weapon. Okay. I was like, what the hell? The Little Mermaid Dinglehopper Pile? Yeah, I guess first I would like to spot hit and see if there's anything else that could possibly... Okay, I fail.

...hit them from afar. Okay, same. Yeah, I'm gonna... Spot hit and... Yeah. ...a couple bad rolls here. Sixteen. Ooh, I got a seven. Wow. That's sick. I got a 93. Wow. I got a 93.

Nice. Okay, what did you find? Oh my God, it's a butter gun. This long range weapon shoots sticks of butter. Here's what we'll say, Eva, you find like an old timey lantern that's still filled with oil. All right, I load it in to a gun.

An oil gun? Whoa, whoa, whoa, just try to like chuck it chuck it cast it cast it okay so you're gonna throw there you're gonna throw okay, give me a throw roll. Probably have only five points in throw. You can use your dex instead if you would like to. Twenty? I have a twenty-five dex. Okay. Oh! What'd you get? You gotta come over here.

You gotta see! You get a one? Yes! Alright, you sort of like do a wind-up throw, and this lantern perfectly sails through this narrow opening and the flies Okay, it's splashes against the wall and now all 11 of the remaining of them are covered in oil I'm gonna take out one of my many cigarettes, which is not in the naughty pocket. It's in the good girl pocket Kelsey deserves a little break and she pulls He pulls out her cigarette as you lights in she's gonna flick the lighter over there give me a throw roll for that lighter

I'm gonna push Okay, when can you push? I'm trying to think of how you would like extra push this roll. You self emulate. I burnt myself I go ah Well, no, because the whole point of a push is like you push and then it means that like you've exposed yourself to additional Risk in case it fails so you throw and it fails and it bounces off of the wall and hits you in the face Okay, how are you going to do this again, but better and more dangerously? Realizing I'm just nervous

because of this intense situation we've been in, I realized, I never should have tried throwing before I take a nice drag off my cigarette stick and calm myself down. I go, And he has exposed himself to lung cancer. Now I'm feeling good. All right, give me your role all right in that case bounces off the wall

again when you cough the your mouth is open as you're coughing up smoke and the lighter goes in your mouth Oh my god, so give me a 1d4 burn damage on the inside of your mouth I also have one edge. It's not so bad. Okay. I going to make you do a lock roll to see you choke on it, but I think that's bad enough. OK, so the inside of your mouth is now scorched. You can barely talk, and you spit a lighter onto the ground. One more try. No, no, no, Kelsey.

Kelsey, you've done enough. So now you've all gone, right? Mothman is trying to start this thing back there like a lawnmower, and it's starting to go. It's like zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ You hear it, the roar of a diesel truck engine as a army transport comes bounding through a gate on the other side. You see like a barbed wire fence just get torn through by this big truck and the driver weaves through and manages to slam into that gate, downshift

and push it back against the force of the people pushing it. The engine is groaning and sputtering, but he manages to knock them off their feet and slam the gate back open, and the engine bursts into flames, and you see panting for breath in that seat. Tony Collette, war hero slash spy, holding onto the thing, and he looks up at you through the slit,

and he sees you, Blake, the one he recognizes as the guy, and he says, I'll hold him off as long as I can. And he pops out of the seat With his a machine gun of his own and starts opening fire on the scientists right then at that very moment Actually was a good teammate Mothman manages to fire up the engine the whole ship ship thrums to life, the door to the engine room swings open again, Mothman pushes past all of you and matches a button on the console, and the ship takes off and blasts out of the facility. Kelsey runs to the back window like those old cars that had like seats facing backwards,

and I'm like, I'm like, I want to see what's happening to those guys. And yes, you see Tony Collette, war hero, pumping round after round from this machine gun as scientists now are pouring in from every nook and cranny of this facility and closing in and he realizes that he's not long for this world. One last riot for Tony Collette as his gun clicks empty he throws it to the side lights up a sig of his own takes a drag. Be careful! He throws the lighter. He got a 14. And you see this lighter land on the nine dead guys

who go up in flames. And then it creates this barrier between him and the rest of the scientists, and they're all screeching. And he pulls out a pistol and he starts firing. You're like fucking saving Private Ryan as you make your heroic escape. Oh my gosh. He's probably fine.

You're taking off into the sky. You break through the clouds and the sun is setting. And as you break through this cloud layer, you see this curtain of stars come through. I'm gonna put Lyca up to the closest window and also call, Mob Band, Mob Band, can we try to wire her into something?

Give me a second. And you see in Lyca's eyes the glint of the stars, and then you see the light in Leica's eyes go out. She was a good girl. Good girl. Good, good girl. Do you have like a trash chute or something? Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha! I am the broken sky All I ever wanted was to feel so ordinary In a world that lies twisted in my mind and now I'm gone All that I can see is a hole in the star

Swallowing my dreams and making them scars Too far, too far away But I'll stay today Hanging out, having a laugh. The fun's all happening over on our Patreon, where we got additional series like our after show that releases in the weeks in between episodes. This season it's called The Peach Pit. Here's a little clip for ya. Hippie Havoc asks, if you had to stop using two of the vowels while talking or writing, which ones would you stop using and why?

Well why easily? But why sometimes? Why doesn't count? Why doesn't count? If you had to stop using two vowels. I would stop using O because I'm chased and pure. I would stop using O because when I come I go eeeeee! Entire standalone series like Kingdom Dad Monster

DM'd by Matt where we play the punishing freaky board game Kingdom Death Monster and Matt can claim as many painting expenses as a tax write-off. He's got pictures of his work on the Patreon too. Support this show directly over at patreon.com slash dungeonsanddads. Ooh, ad-free episodes too, by the way. Dungeons and Daddies is Matt Arnold, is Kelsey Grammer, Anthony Burch,

is Francis Farnsworth, Will Campos is our DM, Beth May is Trudy Trout, and myself, Freddie Wong is Blake Lively. Our theme song is A Hole in the Stars by Max and Waller, and Nisa Omran is our content producer, Ashley Nicolette is our community manager, Courtney Terry is our community coordinator,

Cindy Denton is our merchandise manager, Esther Ellis is our lead Coordinator. Cindy Denton is our Merchandise Manager. Esther Ellis is our Lead Editor. Travis Reeves, Omar Romolino, and Brian Fernandez provide additional editing. Shout out to my homies. Homies like Cozy June, Patrick Duddy, Jackson Leach, Adam Radabo, Nick Asmisson, Lindsay, Mitchell Hunter, Sutiyogo Setye,

Charles Beekwilder, Amandrius Norman, Yomama1007, Melarock, Kate Eadie, Kristen Miller, Joshua Grant, Blayde McCormick, Shepherd, The Rat of Your Dreams, Farpo, and Marcus Elegant. Support us directly on Patreon starting at just 5 bucks a month at patreon.com slash dungeonsanddads. Pick up merch and more at dungeonsanddads.com. Our next episode is July 15th.

We will see you then. All that I can see is a hole in the star. Swallowing my dreams and making them scars. Two-folded stars, I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star.

I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. So holding the stars Swallowing my dreams and making them scars Too far, too far away But I'll stay today All that I can see is a hole in the stars Smiling in my dreams and making them scars, too far, too far away But I'll stay today So the airborne brink dichotomy is kind of an interesting thing to think about because it's like who is better at rollerblading?

Is it a man in love or is it a dedicated, hardworking asexual? What matters most to you? Is it unforgettable adventures, connections with lifelong friends. Peaceful moments of reflection. Feelings of joy and freedom you can't wait to experience again and again. Or is it the vehicles that help you make all those special moments possible? Whatever your answer is, Toyota is here to bring you closer to the things that matter to you. Because they matter to us too. Toyota. For what matters most.