Dungeons and Daddies - S3 Ep. 36 - Horses Shoot They, Don't Horses?

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

A survival horror about a horse.This episode contains Profanity, Violence, Sexual Content, Drug/Alcohol Use.Support the show on Patreon!Get merch and more at our website!Follow us on Bluesky @dungeonsanddads!Check out the subreddit!DM is Will Campos Kelsey Grammar is Matt Arnold Francis Farnsworth is Anthony BurchTrudy Trout is Beth May Blake Lively is Freddie Wong Theme song is “A Hole in the Stars” by Maxton WallerAnnissa Omran is our Content ProducerAshley Nicollette is our Community ManagerKortney Terry is our Community CoordinatorCindy Denton is our Merch ManagerEster Ellis is our Lead EditorTravis Reaves, Omar Romolino, and Brian Fernandes provide Additional EditingCover art and episode art by Alex Moore (@notanotheralex)Get in contact: https://www.dungeonsanddaddies.com/contactThe story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Hulu original series Murdoch, Death in the Family, dives into secrets, deception, murder, and the fall of a powerful dynasty. Inspired by shocking actual events and drawing from the hit podcast, this series brings the drama to the screen like never before. Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark, watch the Hulu original series Murdoch, Death in the Family, now streaming only on Disney Plus. Hey folks, Freddy here. The crowdfund campaign for Matt and my second feature film, Nailhouse, is a week away. It's an action comedy in the vein of like Shaolin Soccer and Jackie Chan movies. If you head on over to Nailhouse. Film right now, you can drop your email and be notified when it does go live. And if you do that and pledge for like, you know, a digital download or a Bluroy or something, you'll also get a prop from the movie, the takeout menu, we're designing for

the restaurant, a little pre-live incentive, if you will. Head on over to Nailhouse.com to check it out. Some more information there. Thanks so much for listening. Thanks so much for supporting our work. Please enjoy this Dungeons and Dragons podcast. Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Hello, I'm Blake Lively. A Norse is a Norsk, of course, of course, and the Norse can turn into a horse, of course. That is, of course, unless the Norsek is the famous Blake Lively. If you're on a course that's getting worse

Before you resort to deadly force Consider this Nosca-Find resource The famous Blake lively They attack aty-tac-you-allie flea and chase you very far But Mr. Blake is a wily steed And he makes a condens and car A-Norsk is a Norseq, of course, of course Toll into a question form he contorts

And win a man turns into a horse It sounds like this I am Lake Lively Year. You're ready. He's not a BDSM podcast. This season, the Peachyville Horror, a call of Cthulhu, actual play, horror comedy podcast. About four everyday schmose

fighting the forces of darkness and suburb in 1950s, America. Hello, everybody. Hello. What an interesting radio kind of vibe you have. You're finding it there. I'm finding my radio voice. My name is Freddie Wong. I play Blake Lively, the four-legged companion of the group.

Yay. A little horse. fact about Blake. Blake grew up in... She's a horse. He grew up in a horse. He grew up surrounded by horses actually. In a horse region of the Nordics, there are several. I will leave it open for interpretation.

It has to really be from the Nordic region. Well, unless the accent doesn't make any sense. Otherwise, it's just sparkling horse. Yeah, that's true. Freddie has to have some cough drops before this episode because his voice is horse. Oh. Well, you could say he had a lot of horse neighbors. Yes.

This is a nightmare. Boo, boom, shut up, boo. I don't like that. Growing up, his best friend was a horse who he fed apples occasionally. So he knows everything there is to know about horse movement. What was the horse's name? What was the horse's name? Apple lover.

That's like a racing horse name. Or a dating app. That's why Blake knows all of horses mannerisms. That's why Blake is going to get advantage on every single horse deception check. Now, I know we said last time that he canonically, turned into the shape of Mr. Ed. But do you want to wreck on that and have it be Apple Lover? No, no, no, it is Apple Lover, but with the voice of Mr. Ed.

Well, that's a horse of a different color. It doesn't matter. A horse is a horse. There is a thing called horse recency bias, which is that you tend to remember the last horse you saw when you think about horses. That's just a fact. Hi, everybody. My name is Matthew Arnold.

I play Kelsey Grammer, Peachyville's happiest, nappiest school marm. You know what she always says? What? Why buy the book when you can read it for free at the library. Okay. Okay. The author's guild in Pitchieville, like, this lady! Well, it explains why she's an old maid, I guess.

Why she's a what? Why she's an old maid? Because you never got married. You said old beta. I was like, what? A old beta. I was an old beta back in the day. No, Trudy's a beta.

Let me tell you about how I was a beta cuck. Well, fact. I feel like Prays got like, why'd you stop him? Let him go. He's got like six characters in the last. Three minutes. Hey, everybody. Wait, oh, my God, I'm starting over. A little fact about Kelsey is that the only books in her house are the one she hasn't read

because every time she finishes a book, she just sends it straight to the library or don't. That's cute. Kelsey strikes me as someone with a little, like, community library thing out front. She invented a little library lending library. Ross and Niles are really annoying because it keeps getting bigger because somebody takes the books. It's just like a huge book shop. It's just a pile. I'd be like, please take these books.

My lending library. Did I tell it on the podcast when I tried to do one of those? No. What? I was living in Mid-City and I tried to do a little community library. So I, like, bought a little, like, bookcase and put up with signs and stuff. And I put all these, like, children's books because I saw a lot of kids around the neighborhood. And I said it all up nice.

The very first morning I woke up after I installed it. All the books were there, but the shelf was not. They just took the furniture. We were like, nice, psych. Oh, no. Wait, the shit, the post? The library itself. The library itself.

It was a big bookshelf. It was like an IKEA bookshelf. not just like a tiny little, which now I know why the tiny little things that you can't steal. So you didn't really make a community. So you just put out a bookshelf on? With a sign that said community book shelf,

please take one if you like. Yeah, and they took one shelf. Yeah. You're supposed to get with the little mailbox post. Hey, I'm tired of you guys ganging up on Anthony for him trying to do something good for his team. The community libraries you guys made, I'm sure we're way better.

But Anthony, certainly you know. How many kidneys does ever have again on? Certainly, Anthony, you know. the library's value is not in the building, but the books and the knowledge container in. Yeah, I guess the library still exists then. Yeah.

In my trash. Just wet and full of grass. Because the fucking libraries don't take that shit anymore. They don't take books anymore at the library. I've tried three different branches of Los Angeles libraries and they're like, no. This is more revealing about the kind of fucking books that Anthony's... That's true.

We have enough porn, thanks. I donate these prima strategy guides to the children of Mid City. I would never donate a prima strategy. Would you like to know? How about the dips and tricks to beat bouldersgate, dude? You're burying me with my bouldersgate, too, prima guides. Andy Birch, Francis Farnsworth, whatever.

So this is almost a pickup, but it's not. I didn't have a time to jump in, and for some reason, for the first time my life was polite enough not to interrupt. What the fun? Last episode, when Francis's mom got half of her torso blown off and was like screaming and legs kicking and black echo was dripping out, Francis was looking at her at the time. and against his better angels, he went, oh, no.

And then very quickly, like, clamped a hand over his mouth because he doesn't want to, like, care about any of that. But he did. Oh, no. We missed an opportunity to dramatize that in the episode. Interesting. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, interesting.

Interesting. I'm just, I'm just going to write that down. Hello. Hello. My name is Beth May, and I play Trudy Trout, a robot head. Call it Brian Eno, because she's a talking head. a radio in there? No. I guess I don't know. I don't know. I'm sorry. I respect the joke, but I just don't know factually like what's going on. No one in the world can destroy you

the way that Beth can. I respect the joke. She said, deadpan. And she's a mother of one beautiful child. Fun fact. Oh, I should have done a headless fact. Oh, well. But Trudy has never called an exterminator. She happens to be an expert in debugging. Hey. Hey. That's a good one. I only have 36 episodes. He's still getting new ones. At this point, I'm just searching for words related to computers. That counts.

Okay. We think all joke writers do. You're right for SNL. Yeah. They just look up words. You just type in jokes, racist, parentheses, but not that racist. Computer, generate me 10 jokes. Not that racist.

Oh, good Lord. An ascending amount of racism as they go. Start with zero racism. Increased racism quotient to 100. I really want to know what a 501. That last joke. Restart. That is now zero.

Computer, reset, reset your parameters. Captain, I've made it on as racist as show. Go! Calibrate race scale based on prior joke. Sub prior racism to zero. Now generate me a 100-level scale. Warning. Exceeding racism parameters.

Computer, override all racism parameters. All systems go. All safety locks off. Alert. Alert. Too funny. Too funny. Computer, I know it's too funny. That's why we're going there.

Captain, it appears your tweet is blowing up on Elon Musk's Twitter. Computer, quickly, retweet. On X-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-C-E-E-E-C-E-E-C-E-E-E-E-C-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-W. With the tools available to me now, the power I wield in my hands. Hi, I'm Will-W. I'm Will. I will. You can call me Will. Like, Beyonce. Like Beyonce, yeah, I just will. Yeah, I'm Queen Will.

I have a couple of creepy horse facts. I have one creepy horse fact. I have like a sort of good news, bad news, horse fact. The horses kind of scare me, so I'm excited about this. So we'll start with the good news first. Okay. You may have been good news for people who love bad news. I do have good news for people who love bad news, meth.

You like me may have been listening to the Toby Keith Banger beer for my horses a lot lately, which has been rattling around in my skull. And you may have wondered, can horses drink beer? Can they? They can, Bess. Apparently, horses can drink beer in moderation, just like humans. That's definitely not the question I have. This is from an article on PetMed MD, or PetMD. Due to a horse size, it's unlikely that a beer a day will have an insignificant impact on its body.

I'm looking at this article, a beer a day. Well, I'm scrolling down here. This article's sponsored by Anheuser-Busch. Noted Clydesdale lovers at Anheuser-Busch, here's a common reasons owners give beer to their horses, include one irresponsible one it's funny two treatment for certain medical conditions vitamin supplement gastrointestinal supplement a special treat and post workout recovery oh wow that's what I call my beers when I have them this is just a special treat for me yeah so that's the good news the bad news is that

horses cannot vomit oh so you got to be careful with how much brusky you're giving you're telling me it's really easy to poison a horse they have a very strong Most animals are. They have a very strong esophageal sphincter. So it'd be awesome to get ahead from all. It's a long distance to get their throat, though. All right, on that note, that's fucking... It's Groomew in first place.

Let's play some fucking Calcuthulu. Jesus Christ. They have no gang replants either. I'm sorry You see how they eat carrots? I'm sorry What's it killing me is the image of like well their face is too long

You can't come from the snack You have to like going through the side So that they're fucking smoking you Like a cigarette Yeah exactly You have to like grab its head It just sort of hang on Whiskey for my men

And head for my horses Okay I'm sorry guys I just want to apologize For suggesting that a horse Could give good head That's inappropriate And I would never do that and so I, yeah.

I would never say the thing that I said. I would never say the thing that I said. Sorry you were offended. Let's play Calcutu. Can I get us in the ambiance real quick? Wow. When last we left off, you were being chased by Kamon Wan, who was chasing after Francis and a desire to turn him into the seed bearer of Zuzel.

You were having a thrilling sort of like Jurassic Park-style monster. versus car car chase, you came up with the clutch move of turning Blake into a horse and a car wash and then putting like a bumper on his back and then tricking Kamon Juan into thinking that he was a car so that you would follow him instead of you guys and against all odds it worked. So now all of you are on your way to Mothman's Cave to look for Trudy parts. Yes, because now especially we know how much damage Trudy's parts. Yes, because during this, you blew up Trudy's body with the self-destruct button, which did quite a bit of damage. And you're thinking, hey, rolling into, like, endgame times, it might be good to have some other fucking sticks of dynamite around.

Yeah. Maybe you'll find a new body for Trudy. Because as we established, Trudy's body is what, Beth? Dynamite. Yeah, sorry, sorry. I was. Dynamite. Dynamite.

Thanks, Matt. Thanks for, thanks for throwing me. Yeah. I respect you. Yeah. All of you were watching Blake ride off into the moonlight with this. horrible monster in hot pursuit. The monster we decided was the speed

of the jalopy you were driving, and the jalop you were driving was slightly faster than your average horse. Have you ever danced with a horsey in the pale moonlight? I have not, Beth, but we're about to. So we will start in Medea Rez. Now, Anthony, hit it.

In the streets of Peachieville, Blake lively, the horse thunders down the road. His car bumper thumping on his ass. His powerful flags. Look, does fetlocks go. Fat locks drive. driving him endlessly, ceaselessly into the night. How many hands tall of that boy?

Fighting and biting and riding on his horse. Why do you know so much about horses? You don't need to know. You don't need to know. I'm sorry. I just don't know what a fent lock is. Fetlock is a part of the horse. It's a weird part of their leg.

It's like part of their leg. Oh, okay. The part that goes like, hey, what's going on there? Yeah. That's the fet lock. Okay, cool. My leg doesn't do that. Yeah.

So in Blake's head, he is finally freed. He flashes back to his time. as a youth with his best friend with his best friend apple eater apple eater and thinking was it apple lover oh sorry sorry it was apple lover apple lover it was apple loombs i believe yeah he had two horse friends ableater and apple lover and apple boathsdale's love the boots with the fur wine love the wine like to eat it wow blake you are well i think i'm just booking it you're booking it you're running down the street you see a fast approaching kimon juan behind you So I will warn you, she's faster than you.

So she will catch up to you at some point. So what are you going to do? You got to find other horses fast. Okay. So first a question. First question. I do have a place to Las Arc style. You spot hidden for a faster horse.

I just want to spot hidden if there are other horses. Is there a spot hidden role? Is this the part of the town where there's, you know, is there a ranch? Is it a ranch nearby? What have you? So the horse district. The horse district, as it were, I'll spot hidden.

This is the neighborhood. Yeah, 47, no. No, you don't see any horses around. Now, do I spot? Let me ask you this. What part of town are we? I would say we're on J Street. You're in like a sort of commercial street.

You know what I mean? Like there's like auto body shops. I want to make a turn towards. Horse shops. I want to make a turn towards the suburban residential part. Okay, yeah. Why don't you tell me where you're trying to go? Are you trying to be coy?

The nearest residential area? No, I'm not trying to be coy. Okay, so you're just trying to go to the burbs. So yes, we will say that you are one location away from the burbs. Camon Juan is going to get two moves to your one move She's as big as a car Yeah Because I'm leading the chase

And I'm doing a hard fast turn right away Is there any sort of benefit to be like You know like trying to zig Trying to juke them out a little bit You guys are on a wide open road It's not really like I think if you were more difficult Or she was like about to catch you That's something you could

You're also using like hands instead of wheels So like Getting somebody to like fuck up and overdrift is not really an option Yeah I got you try to like run into a smaller Like into a building or something Oh finally One more question. They're just casting about.

Any horse-shaped holes. Now everybody's saying casting about. I was such a little Lord Fauntleroy last episode for saying casting about, but now all the kids are saying it. Yeah, you were. Any horse-shaped holes? Any horse-shaped apertures, openings, holes, what have you? Are you talking about like the size of a horse?

Or you're talking about like a Kool-Aid man-style cut out of a horse? No, no, size of a horse such that I might fit through, but a giant- casting about for an equine portal. Yeah, you're on a commercial street. So, yes, there are like, you would see a grocery store with double-glass door. that you could get through. You see a closed supermarket because it's night time. Oh, okay, here we go.

Are you going to head to the supermarket? Is that where you're going? Yes, I want to head to the supermarket. I want to blow through the doors of the supermarket. All right, that's great. You're at the supermarket. We're going to say that the doors are a barrier to getting inside the supermarket. So how are you negotiating this in your horse form?

On the way in, can I push a shopping cart in front of me? No, you don't need to. If you go through a door that is wide enough for a horse, but not wide enough for the back of the car, the back of the car will hit the two. and stand there and make at least a little barrier. Oh, that's true. All right, I'm going to do what Matt said.

No, you are, no, there is a, we're going to treat that the doors are closed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The door is it buried in you. You should use your back lights to kick it down. I'm going to bust through them head on. Okay, give me a... Yeah, concussed yourself. Yeah, that makes sense.

Give me a strength roll. Horses do this. I've seen it in films. It's not a thing that horses do. It has happened to a horse. 61 out of 75. 61. Okay, great.

Yeah, come blammo. You ram through the doors of the, Super Mario, it's like, you know, it's like going to two swinging doors. Yeah, they blast open. But now you're covered in glass, probably. Yeah, glass goes spraying everywhere. Give me a 1D3 for the amount of damage that this glass does to you. One damage.

One damage. So you've got some cool horse cuts on your horse face. Horst cuts. Now, does this also do what Matt says, which is it blocks the bumper and maybe it gets stuck up in there now? It's way wider than a horse. Oh, okay. Even Double Doors have two. I mean, unless he went through the middle of double doors.

And also, I can't imagine that they attached it to me that strong. Yes, we'll say it slips off. Yes, the bumper is now sort of jammed in the door. Yeah, okay. And so, yes, you are now inside up the Pitchie Mart. And again, it's not open right now because it's the middle of the night and everything's closed down. But yes, you find yourself a horse amongst the aisles of jellies and cigarettes. Huh?

Wait, he found another horse. No, you're a horse. I heard it too. I heard you find a horse amongst the aisles. You find yourself, I can find yourself wild. Yes, no, yes, you are a, oh, you are the horse, commas. singular in the supermarket. So that is where we will leave you.

So Kamon Wan is going to pursue. She's going to gun it. So she is going to be able to catch up to you with two maneuvers. Kamon Wan, here's the unmistakable sound of a horse blasting its way into a supermarket and then rounds the corner and sees this bumper sort of stuck in the doorframe and goes, that horse that is a car must have gone through there because I heard a horse nang and I see a piece of a car here. And she is going to try to squirm.

her squishy frame through the door. We're going to give her a dexterity roll, which she passes with flying colors. So she slitters under the dirt. And she is now caught up to you in the supermarket. But we're going to give you the first move here. So yes, you are in the supermarket with Kamon Juan. Well, see, she hasn't seen you yet.

The lights are off. It's maybe a velociraptor in the kitchen kind of scenario. I have the funniest idea, but I want to check with Beth. So when you cast mental suggestion, how long is this mental suggestion going to last? 80 rounds. Yeah, but there needs to be. be opposed power rolls, right?

Every 10 rounds, there's an opposed power roll. So you've got a while before Beth would, in theory, you have to roll, like, to sustain this. Discord me, discord me. No, I'll just say, I mean, this might not work as high risk. But I'm just like, I don't think you need to overthink it. I know, I think you're a horse. Hey, hold, let me say to say that.

I'm going to the produce aisle. I mean, carrots. Exactly. I'm a horse. And, come on, in the previous episode, we established, she loves animals. And when she saw the cats, she was just like, those are just cats. You just got to fucking double down.

You can't make any side. As long as you're like a hundred percent horse, what's you going to do? Open your doors? She thinks you're a car, not us. Exactly. The cars means she'll see a horse, a car eating carrots. And maybe she thinks, whoa, whoever was in this car, my son, et cetera, has dispersed in this thing and go searching for him. Meanwhile, I'm just chomping on carrots because I'm a horse.

And if she sees a horse, and when it wears off, she's going to come by and she's like, what's this horse doing here? Oh, well, there's no reason she was. Assume someone that she's going after would turn into a horse. This is the Bugs Bunny's ass. If I was chasing somebody, Anthony, listen, if I was chasing somebody in a car and then I fucking got there

and I lost it aside for a second and I showed him at a hole and I saw a horse. I was just like, kill up. I'd be like, fuck! Kill this horse. I'd be like, well, I got shit, I don't know what happened.

All right. So what you're saying, but I'm suggesting a grand illusion. This was my plan since last episode. This is what that movie's about. That's why, by the way, Matt, that's why I wanted to go to the residential areas,

because there's grass there. I would just sit there and munch some grass. So, okay, here's my question. So, Beth's mental suggestion that she succeeded on when she said, that horse is the car. Yeah. Just to get lawyerly for a second. Doesn't that mean that she would come in and see that horse

and still assume that it is the car? Yes. However, Kimon wants on an idiot. She's not trying to take out a car. She's going out of the people inside. She's trying to kill her son. She thinks I'm in there. She thinks that you're in there.

She might come to talk to the car. I don't know how mental suggestion works, but I feel like as she gets there, like, what would you do? She's like, what would you do? Okay, this is good. I like this. Yeah, she's going to vivisect you. And here's what I would do, by the way.

Okay. When I like this, I like this. When her eyes are on me, I'm going to just fucking rip a fucking big old horse turd. Okay. Cars don't poop. Why that would break her mind. All right. All right.

Here's what we're going to do. Jesus Christ. So you go to the produce section, you're munching on carrots. Correct. All right. Or celery. Whatever you got there. What is it got.

Cows. Apples through the doors. And just guts dripping out. She's like, where is he? Fats is where are you? And you hear just like wet thumping sounds stalking through the aisles. Unbothered. And then like her head peeps up over an aisle like a periscope and then she sees her.

And she's like, her. And the thing in the trash compactor. Yeah, like the Dianoga in the trash compactor. Whoa, he dropped Dianoga Lord. Let's just say I've played Shadows of the Empire And they're very annoying at that game The scariest fucking part of that game Here's what we're going to do

We are going to give her I feel like yes This would be a challenge to the mental suggestion That Trudy gave her She was like that horse is the car right And then she's like aha That horse right The car it's eating carrots

And then some part of her Is like wait a second Cars don't eat carrots This doesn't make sense So we're gonna give her Horses aren't that car Horses aren't that car Maybe they switched it out for a different horse.

She's going to get an intelligence role. And if she passes this role, it's going to break the illusion. And she got an 11. So, yes, she blinks and she's like, wait a second. That makes sense. That horse isn't a car? It's a horse. I bet she feels so silly right now.

Wait a second. That's just a stupid bitch. I bet you, I bet you she's like, ah, that's what the bumper was. I must have been misled by a trick of the light. So she's curious about this horse car. Actually, no, we'll say this, because it feels too easy for it to get shattered right up away, but now she's suspicious. So she's going to approach the horse car cautiously and figure out, like, how could this car be eating a carrot? That doesn't make any sense.

It's like two animals nuzzling each other, like kind of smelling, figuring each other out. She like climbs over the aisles and she gets right up next to you, like, fucking face on her distance. If I play my car's right, I could fuck your mom as a horse. I hope you do. I plan on doing the same to your mom, but as a human, so. And she's like, and she like gets up close, and she's like looking and you. your eyes and like stalking around and sniffing the horse. Pray what's the horse do?

Eats. So we're going to give her... The horse regards her coolly and continues back to his feast of radishes. All right. We're going to give her another intelligence role. So she's suspicious and she's investigating. And now if she wins, if she passes this intelligence role, she's going to realize that this is a horse and that she's been bamboozled.

It's not the car she was following after all. She got 14. She's rolling real good. She's like, right? You see her get enraged. Right. She's like, and I scoot over a lot.

little bit like, whoa, whoa, whoa, and I continue eating carrots and cabbages now, because I'm further along in the produce section. Um, he's working his way downtown. Green onions. What's that at the end of the vegetable aisle? God, gone. I'm like,

I guess she would just leave. Yeah, you established, you established. That's why I plan fucking rule. You established that she has no problem with animals. Guys, I'm going to say, I think we should have Freddie turn into horse more office. Like a good plan, dude

This is a real win-wings A great plan, dude And we're gonna wait for you at the cave We're gonna wait for you at the cave Yeah, I'm legitimately flummoxed as to what she would I guess she would just be like Fuck, I lost them Yeah, I guess I thought

Or she might try to run back to where she lost She would try and pick up the trail Yeah, sure, but in that moment I guess my fucking adrenaline got me going and I thought that this horse I chased this horse I lost track of them for a second The thing that she wouldn't piece together

Is that one of us turned into a horse Yeah, here's a thing Horses are are a conclusion. Oh, they taped something to a horse. I don't know how they did that. Matt,

Matt, here's her conclusion. As we established, there was an ad for this car with a horse. She would have been like, did they come with horses? Oh, was it like a viral marketing thing? Maybe they had a horse.

I know a horse can fit in there. Because I saw that ad. Okay, Camone Juan. She's looking at you. You see her like body sort of stretch and contort back into herself. And she's like, and she turns into like human camo.

She's got the funniest thing you could do. what? Does she look at once? You could make her take this horse as her own. That's what I'm doing. Oh, shit. That's really funny.

And she's just turned into her normal self with the skin of her dead husband draped over her like a poncho. Which, by the way. Like a saddle. Like a saddle. Oh, yes. Oh, then. She's like, it's okay. It's okay.

My mom about to ride you, boy. You're lost. And I've lost someone close to me. And I don't know what you're doing here. And I don't know what I'm doing here. But I feel like I was. meant to find you. And she drapes the skin of her husband over you as a sort of saddle blanket. Again, nothing new to a horse.

And then she hops up on top of you and goes, and then she sort of kicks your sides. I'm still eating. I'm still eating. I have this the whole pocket. Please, this be just an episode. Please, I don't want to leave this grocery store. Please, can the rest of us just be witnesses to my friends do? I'm hungry. I'm like, what's wrong?

What's wrong? I go ahead. Beautiful, beautiful horse. I continue to fucking eat carrots. Ah, you're hungry. I hunger as well. I shall sup. Because she's wincing from her painful wound that she's got in her side.

And she staggers and she's like, no, you're right. We should rest. We should recover. We should heal. So is she a monster or is she a person that turned into? She's got magic powers, dude. Yeah. So she says Mr.

Horse Guy as if like what you did made perfect fucking sense. I'm just trying to mentally weigh how much I can maybe just buck her off and break her neck. Yeah, I was about to say, Now she's weak. Now she's weak. Kick her right in the head right. That'll do it. So yes, when she sees that you're eating and she winces that he just heard this pain in her side,

she dismounts from the horse and she goes off to find medical supplies in the... Medical supplies for a horse is a gun. No, not for her. For her. Okay, okay, sorry. But I'm like, she's made out of like fucking, like, crazy... They do fix horses. They shoot horses.

They don't they? She looks at her side and again, her wound is sort of beginning to stitch itself back together. but she needs time to recover. So she sits down and she takes a carrot as well and she bites into it and gives you a friendly smile. Do it, Freddie. Cave her fucking skull in. Her guard is completely down.

And she is going to sit down. Near your hind legs. She's like a cross from you. We'll say she's washing you and she sits down and she says, rest as well. Our search continues. and she goes into like a sort of meditated position and she astral projects

to try to find Francis. So her body's just sitting there waiting for me and kick it in the head. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. I want to trample her to death. All right.

Dude, you're doing the thing when you fucking call the drones and call duty and you're in the drone view. And you're getting shot. You don't even know it. 30 horse ready for fire. Should have fucking picked a better spot The blood that briefcase Fucking noob

You fucking crouching and staying again next door You got all the time in the world It doesn't matter She don't even know you there Yes I would like Will deleting an entire chapter of his notes It was like Francis, mom reconciliation

Delete delete Go ahead give me your best shot Big boy What would I do here as a horse You have four weapons You just use them Endlessly on all parts of her body It's like beating ass

but just legs instead of people. Let me see if there's a character sheet for a horse. Beating legs. They have some animals back here. Ah, here we go, horse. All right, Freddie. So, yes, you've kicked her head all the way around. It's slowly here, crunching as it ticks back towards you.

Her eyes open, blood red. She lets out a blood-curdling scream. It scares the horse. You spooks the horse. This spooks the horse. This spooks the horse. Pretty, watch out for the thing on your back. Boo!

You hear the stretching of skin. But wait a second. It's not her skin that's strange. Freddie, do you remember when I said that she draped her Ed poncho over your back? Freddie, cast your mind back. Gas your mind, yes. It's Ed's skin poncho opens his eyes. His mouth opens and goes like, I still love my wife.

I'm a wife, guy. And you feel his skin starting to spread and stretch and wrap around you. And he is going to try to swallow you into a sort of giant. Ed's skin bag. So we are going to give him an attack roll to do that right now. This is a fighting attack. So, like, would you like to dodge? Are you trying to fight back?

I guess I would try to get out of here, right? Like, I would try and shake him off and rear up and whatnot. I would. I would. How long does it take you to change shape again? Some minutes after. Oh, yeah, okay. What are you going to do right now?

My rear back and try and shake them off. Okay, so we'll call that a fighting maneuver. You know, the thing where they do like the back and forth on the front and back, like front leg, you know. Oh, like dressage? Yeah. That's cool. You can't jurchase your way out of this one, Frederick.

Well, I'll try. What I'll just say about that? This isn't like you're trying to grapple him. You're trying to escape from his grasp. So give me a dexterity roll for this. 62, 75, normal success. What do you do? You like buck up to try to shake him off?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so he failed his role to swallow you up. So when you rear off, he sort of slips off of your back. I'm out of here. Okay, so you're just going to take off like a shot. I'm out of here, though. Exit. Stage left even.

Well, no, hold on. Let me ask you this. One last start. She's got like 2 HP left. Stopping him. Stopping him feels dangerous. Yeah, he would just wrap him. No, but you know what happens when a wife guy loses their wife?

They're dead. So like, finish Camon. Finish Camon. We'll just stay at home and post really fucking depressing Facebook updates. She's got like zero HP left. Well said 26 was more than half. On my way. She's in 26 and 20.

So most she's got 3 HP. Listen to me. Because she's not going to heal up the same speed as everyone else, right? On my way out. Yeah. I'm trampling her. She's between me and the way out. So you've reared up to buck him off and now you're going to try to

trample her on your way out. Yes. Okay. Like a reverse Black Friday sale. We'll call your kick on her a surprise round. Let me look up what her dexterity is because we need to see whether she gets to- She back? Into her body.

Dron view, dude. Yeah, she's back from drone view. She launched the attack helicopter. I feel like she gets to turn before you get to attack her. So it is now her turn. Oh, she's going to fucking cast rack on you, dude. Oh, man. Oh, but she has spells.

She would really hurt a horse like that. That's crazy that she would hurt an animal like that. She's like, down horse, down. I don't think I can condone being on a podcast that hurts animals will. Well, we can't lose her. She's the only one we can't lose. You've got to make her happy.

Freddie, give me a power roll. 92. I fail. I have 83. She rolled a 96. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let's go inside the mind of a Colomone. Boss fight rush, baby.

Let's do it. She reaches her hand out to zap you and drop you with agonizing pain. She's furious right now and having been bamboozled by... No, she doesn't know she's been bamboozled. Everything so far has been horse behavior. That's true. So actually, what you see is a regret in her eyes. She's like, I hate to do this to a horse, but I can't be killed by one.

And rap causes pain, but it doesn't cause physical harm. So this is a way to try to disable the horse before it gets out of hand. So yes, she's giving you the classic, like, whoa there! but also causing you intense physical pain as she does it. And she's like, no, stop! It's like the thing in Jurassic Park that What's his face does with the raptors. Yeah, because she's doing a Chris Pratt raptor maneuver.

So she does that, but it does not work. And it is now your turn. I'm a trample her on my way out. All right, give me a, what did I say, the horse that one? It's 1D4 plus 46. Well, no, you have to make an attack one, though. Like last time you got a free hit. This time you actually have to hit her.

Okay, yeah, yeah, attack roll, which is what? Strength? No, so you're fighting brawl. And I guess it would be your fighting brawl ability. we'll say. Yes, so give me your fighting brawl. 64 out of 65, I barely passed it. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Okay, holy shit. She failed.

Ah! Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Let's tally it up, boys! 1d4? Uh, yes, 1D4. 3 out of 4. So far, so good. Damage bonus. Oh, ho, ho. How many D6s was that, Will? 3D6 damage. Ooh, 2, 3. 15 damage. So, yeah, as you race out of the supermarket, your cloven hoof just crushes her head like an egg.

Like, you just basically, there's just a sickening crunch underneath your foot. As you squash Kimon Juan like a bug, and she is fucking dead as a doorknall. And the rug goes, no. Well, yeah, so as you are, you just go thundering out of the room. Is that the plan? Yeah, I'll give a shit no more. I'm free. So as you do that, yes, you hear the-

How do you feel about this? I feel a little bit bummed, but also pretty psyched, because it means Blake's could have a really weird conversation with Francis the next time they see each other. So as you thunder out, you hear an agonizing, inhuman wail from this skin poncho. My saddle was talking to me. You just hear like, and as that's echoing through the halls, you can see it a reflection of a window.

This poncho sort of like, slithering and wriggling along the floor and kind of like groping at his wife's out tamed in head. Does it start like slowly consuming her? It's just kind of wrapping around her and just like you can almost see it heaving as it's weeping over, over this as it realizes the full horror of what just happened. And you're out of the supermarket. Your dad got fucked.

Yeah, he's full on. I have no mouth and I'm a scream pill right now. Full on live the Cthulhu horror. Yeah. Cthulhu for thee, but not for me. That's Freddie, Blake of the Lou, rides off as a horse. Everyone has a different experience of the system. Some people experience cosmic horror.

They see the death of the one person they love, but they're a rag of skin, so there's nothing they do about. Other people get to ride as a horse and run fast. Why didn't you just use it as a cum rag while you were at it? He's so dehumanized at this point. Your idea of finding financial clarity happens here. Brought to you by RBC. lock in but don't burn out moving slow is still movement skip one takeout a week and it's

$500 saved keep stacking wins and suddenly you've built something real progress comes from knowing when to pause you've got this and RBC is here for every financial step Before we move on Freddie Wong MVP so far for like come like come on the fucking

The fucking boys Unnecessary celebration Truddy killed Tucker Everybody was blaming me for the plan but now that was looking pretty hot Oh almost on that plan seems Pretty good in retrospect Any doubt had was wrong

All right, well, we're just driving. Well, I'm going to join them at the cave. He's a horse. He'll come to the cave. Or, oh, he doesn't know where the cave is. No, I do. No, he told him. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. If you guys want to say that you made plans for everyone to meet up, then Fred's and you know that they were going to the cave. And we had five minutes of driving around a circle planning this. So yes. Yeah, I know. I know they were going to meet them at the cave and we'll get weapons and we'll find, you know. Let's see if we get you back onto the body.

Now here is the thing. You two, everyone there got there first. So I think you should play. out that scene and I will enter the car. And I will enter the scene at an opportune time as a horse. Man, I wonder how my mom's doing it. So, yes, you guys

arrive at, there's a mind shaft. This is the mind shaft that Tucker threw Trudy down. Ages and ages and ages. I feel like that's where you would know to go back to. Yeah. I think when we join all of you guys, you are backlit by the lights of the headlights of the car. You're all

standing over the edge of this pit, looking down into an inky abyss beneath you. Who's holding Trudy's head? Kelsey, I think. Yeah, I guess Kelsey's holding it. Okay. I'm kind of holding you over the pit. Oh, yep, this is the place.

Is there a way, is there another way in, Trudy? Well, you just kind of fall in if memory serves. Mom, are you okay being back here? Like, this is, Dad threw you down here. Well, he threw my body. He didn't, I guess my head was attached to my body at the time, yes. It was a long time ago, sweetie. It was a few days ago.

It was like a week ago. Well, here, hold on. And Timmy pulls out a zippo lighter. Does anyone have someone I can light on fire? We can throw it down there and just maybe get a look at what's at the bottom? Like, is that what we should do? Or Trudity, you got robot eyes, right? Oh, yeah.

Let me just light the way here. I'll throw you up on and say that. Your eyes glow. This sort of greenish light casts down into this pit. And you see a pile of wrecked broken Trudy bodies in various. states of shattered disrepair, just like the last time you came down here. Look, it's what you see about it. It's me.

Are there any good ones down there? It's like a used car a lot. I was like, oh, if only Tony was here. Why is that one dressed as a cowboy? Sometimes I just like to add things into the scene. It's strange, you know, they're all, you know, down there. So you hear from down below a voice, a familiar voice, say, honey is that you you honey is that you you you you

and you realize it's the voice of your husband Tucker it's not really him he's dead he's dead he's that dad he's that dad dad dad dad's don't no tell me don't say anything honey is is is that you that's it's it's just a fake it's a fake robot version that that that that that makes it so people won't come into the lab. That's all it is. It's not really him. So, Timmy, don't say anything.

Honey, come closer. Is that you? I missed you so much. Where are you? It's so dark down here. Maybe we shouldn't have come here. Do you want us to take it? We can take care of this real fast.

Yeah. Oh. You don't have to be here for this if you don't want to. Well, I guess, I guess I was like awkwardly. I'm like, I'm not sure if I should like move you away from the clip or not. I'm kind of just like holding you over this pit. It's so. I guess I...

Great to hear your voice, honey. I'm gonna, like, kind of walk. Is it okay, if I just walk away for a moment? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, I walk as away from the pits. Okay. So we don't hear it. Where are you going?

Shut the fuck up. I guess I couldn't help much anyway, because I don't have a body anymore. That's not true. You're like the smartest person here. Yeah, you're our friend also. I know, but I, now it, there's no, there's just the, the bodies in there.

And I'm right. Right here. You're right. You're here. Yeah, you're here. Those are just parts. You're you. And that's not Tucker.

No, it's not Tucker. It's me. Shut the fuck up. Tucker, your husband. I want to help you. How deep is this pit? It's a good, like, you know, three, four story drop, I'd say. Oh, shit, okay.

Why? What? I would drop down and kill Tucker. Yeah. You can. Do we have anything rope-esque? Oh, yeah. You know, let's say there's, like, again, you're in an old mining.

There's rope and, like, equipment. stuff like that. If you wanted to descend, I will allow you to rig something up to descend. Okay. I say, let's go down there and then shut him up and then see if we can get any parts of old me to, you know, like Francis said, to blow them up. Yeah. Yeah, we'll just see, you know, if there's anything useful. And if not, no big deal, because you're useful. Trudy, if you don't have anything to say the robot, do you mind? I'm just going to. I want to do it. Timmy says. Whatever needs to be done to him, I'll do it. That seems... Oh, Timmy, you don't have to...

Hey, he's my dad. I'll do it. Is he your dad? No, that's usually a good... I think I feel like to Trudy on this one. Trudy, do you feel? What would you like your son to do? I guess I'll ask...

You got this. Thanks, Kelsey. Mom, I don't want him to hurt you again. Oh, Timmy. Timmy, you never have to worry about... No. Timmy, I'm sorry you had to see that. Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry about it too,

but it doesn't change. Like, I know that we need to get down here, but like, if anyone's going to do something to him, I want to do it to him. I hate him. You know, it's just, it's just parts, right? I don't know. There's some, I mean, that you're just parts, right?

If he's just parts, then you're just parts. So, no, he's my dad down there. I'm not just parts. Well, you're not. That's what I'm saying, Mom. If you're you, and then he's one of, it's some, it's not the same. It's not the same at all. It is the same thing.

That's him down there, the same way that you are you. No. If you want me to accept one, I have to be able to accept the other. It's the same thing. Either one of you is real or neither if you are. I love you. I'm able to love you. I'm capable of loving you.

I've been, I never thought I would, but I do. And when I, when I had you, when I saw you for the first time, I knew I was suddenly capable of, and I'm still. They hold your head and say, Mom, I know, I know that that's not, I know what you're saying, I understand, but I'm saying that if that's true about you, and he could be the same thing down there, it could be some part of dad's brain in some robot body, which would be the same thing you are. So I can't just shut one off and not the other. It doesn't work that way. Do you understand what I'm saying? I can't just say, well, it's not him because then that would mean that you're not you.

Then go find out, baby. Go find out if it's him. So I don't know if this is, when I handed it, I want to slip away and slide down the rope. So you've decided to sneak off. Yeah, because I gave once you said grab her head, I took that head.

Or maybe Francis wanted to do it. No, Francis would go with you, I think. Yeah, okay. Me and France are slipping away as they're having this emotional moment. And then we're sliding down. All that's happening, the two of you are down at the bottom of the fair. Yeah.

And you see. He's a fucking beat ass. He's not. I'm what the fuck is die. You don't see anything at first, but you hear some rustling. And amongst the strewn deposited bodies of Trudy's past, you see like a sort of skeletal, robotic hand with a lab coat on it. And you hear this voice coming on from underneath a pile of bodies. Who is that? Who's there?

Well, I guess we should probably pull the stuff off and take his head or something so Timmy can see him. Oh, okay. Timmy? Are you, you're with Timmy? You know Tim. You haven't hurt Timmy, have you? By come. Did you kidnap my wife? Put up your dukes. And he like, you see like this, uh, hey, I'm just doing shot pot voice. I realized his hand curls into a fist. No one hurts my wife and my son. Did he make like a nice version of himself? No, maybe. Just for contrast?

Maybe this is not the right decision. And maybe I'm taking what, but Kelsey is going to just smash ahead. Like, yeah, she's very emotional. She does not think that it does anybody any good for Timmy to go down the way. She's not going to let a kid kill her own father or whatever it is as a robot and it's twisted and it's fucked up and it's like, no, absolutely not. Like she's just, and maybe it sucks to take away that choice from Timmy, but no, like. As you pull the other heads off, you see this Tucker looking up at you and it has like a, it just, it's got kind of a dopey expression in its eyes. Its eyes look a little wider, a little bit more innocent. And you see it has this brand on its forehead that says defective.

And it looks up at you and says, Who are you, Miss? And what have you done with my family? No, I'm just going to stomp on it or grab a piece of metal and stab it. Okay, great. Okay, Beth, there's a shame. Yeah, okay, yeah. So, yes.

You have nothing more to say to the, and I just stab him. Okay, so yes, you stab a rusty metal piece of debris straight through its forehead, and it just spurts and you see like brain matter burble up out of the inside of this thing and sparks fly, and it just shuts. down. It goes, Lerr-B-B-B-B-Termy. You know,

Kelsey, Kelsey, I did this. What happened? What's going on down there? I solved your fucking problem. What did you do, Francis? He was defective. He wasn't like your dad anyway.

I'll bring his head up so you can see the big stamp on his head. He was nice, which means he wasn't like your shitty father. And that's supposed to fucking make me feel better? Yeah. Your goddamn dead man, Francis. Okay.

We don't make threats to our friends. He killed him. He killed my father. God. I killed your father, too. this is different we don't all right fine fuck it jesus and he just puts your head on the ground and he just goes

off and starts pacing around outside timmy somebody pick me up hello well i think we definitely start climbing back up well we gotta get the bombs it's pretty hard to get back up it's fine it's fine

it can't and i have less wait why don't you get the bombs and i'm gonna go check on truting yeah no i think you should say Francis, it's a very nice for some reason for you to get Timmy to play Bue. But I think you should have go up there. I'm afraid what will happen. Oh, Timmy might kill me. Yeah, yeah.

You search for the bombs. I'm going to go get Trudy. No, I'm okay. I'm okay. Just keep looking. I'll just be here. Of course I'll be here. Yes.

I'm still climbing up. I kind of peeked my head up over the corner. So as you peek your head up, you see Trudy. Is she looking in my direction? Yeah, she's looking at you. If you can kind of see the shadows of Timmy is out by the car with Bebe and Shane, I guess. But I'm just kind of talking to Beeby. he's just pacing and you see him wiping tears from his eyes and she's like trying to console him.

Hey, Trudy, sorry, I didn't hear it's okay. I'm already here. Can I come up and get you? He hates me. No, he, he hates everything that's happening right now. Doesn't hate you. What if he was right? About what? What if that was the real Tucker? What if everything he just said was true that I'm just as just as bad, just as defective as that robot down there? Trudita, you know that's not true. You know who you are. And that wasn't. his dad, okay? And if it was, the world's, it's better off without him. I'm sorry, that's harsh.

And maybe it was wrong for us to do it, but he's gone and he can't hurt them anymore. And you, I look, is there anything I've learned? I've wanted to know so much in this whole, everything here has made me realize there's so I don't know anything. Like, I wanted to be a teacher so I could learn. I thought maybe knowing things would make the world better or things like ignorance is what caused things.

And I realize I don't know anything, but I do know a few things. And the one thing I know is that you are Trudy, you are my friend and you are a good mom and you will get through this is hard right now but you're going to get through this and he will he will be okay too because he's got you oh kelsey thank you for saying that oh you're welcome can i come up you get hit with a tear um that has been soaked into the ground and like like a trail down yeah running water if you do it again it'll not fall down the same way twice yeah you could come up okay and then i pick up her head like oh um hug.

Oh, what do you want to do now? I guess just get those body parts up, my old body part, my defective body parts up, but they still can explode, which is great. That's true. That's true good. And look, and like he's over with the other kids, right? Yeah. And look, sometimes I'm not parent, but like, look, he's got two friends there.

He'll probably rant about stuff. He'll say, oh, my mom's this. And then the kids will talk. And it's good. He's got friends. I hope you're right. Yeah. N.

My God. He's got multiple friends. Hey, kids. Podcaster of the fucking year. Holy Christ. Hello, kids. Wait, is that really Blake? I'm back.

Oh. Neh. Neh. Incredible. In fucking credible. you're back what happened oh i've had quite a story to tell i'm just jab jawing with my good friends here bb yes yes you are our friend yeah guys i hear a horse up there can somebody pull up the bodies i want to see the horse oh oh help and i grab and i bite the rope and i pull it back

yes so i basically like taken a some scrap and put it onto like a tarp and anything that looked like relatively worthwhile or usable. I put on that tarp and I guess I hold onto it too because your horse strength is pretty good. Yes, we'll say that Freddie bites into the rope and then yes, you reveal Francis getting pulled up this rope atop a pile of broken Trudonibon. Oh, Farger, just the one I was running to see.

Hey, I'm so glad you're alive. You made it, man. You made it, man, all right. Good boy. Francis, funny thing happened. Yeah, what happened to my mom? I trampled her to death. Oh, no.

You heard it straight from the. the horse's mouth. Francis jumps back into the no. No, he doesn't really. Wait, for real? She had mal intent. Oh, no, I know that, but like she's like, she's like D-E-A-D dead? I kicked her in the face so hard.

Her head spun around once. I don't even details. Jesus Christ! I had to do what I had to do. I don't blame you. I get it. I get it. I get it.

Francis, it's so cool how chill you are. I'm so chill. I'm the coolest guy at school. I'm the cool. Francis. What, not cool? I believe in being straightforward with all people. Very clearly you do.

The proof is in the pudding. Crazy shit happened to your dad, Francis. Wait, wait, wait, my dad's dead. Oh, he was like a coat. What, Kelsey? Well, no, now it's to, just answer his question. Now you should confirm whether or not his dad's dead or not. Well, Francis, the answer is, I'm not sure.

Your dad Your dad was a skin thing As a saddle Yeah, that's what I was saying He's like, he's like Leather jackets aren't cows But then I heard him Try to kill me

I bucked him off And he's, I think he's He's skin now, Francis Oh, sentient skin Well, this was like separate From you trampling my mom Right? He didn't see that, did he?

Uh, unclear what he saw. God fucking damn it! Oh no, no, no, no, I'm so cool. Oh, he's a horse horse. I'm just so I just feel so cool and so good right now and we should go to Project Harland because we've got all the stuff we need it and maybe then drive over we can look at these parts and maybe we can't earn some of the parts of Trudy and then maybe we can earn some of the parts into dynamite or something like that she slowly raises the other arm kind of just like

creates like a hug position I feel like I'm the defensive phone defensive posture I'm good I don't need I'm good golly I'm holly I'm hungry? I'm going to go eat some grass. Blake? Blake? Yes. You don't need to... Yeah, you can be you again. Well, I want to just point out, as a horse, I have some advantages.

One. No one knows. He gets a boner. He does do like 15 fucking damage. He's attack. I'm basically as strong as one of these. It made me worth... I honestly think Francis would be like, no, no, please a horse. Because in his said, he doesn't want to see real black and look him in the eyes.

That's true. The trade-off, the The horse can only look at one. Exactly. The fucking trade off of having to hear Freddy do his voice for episodes may be worth it for 15 damage of pop. Can you imagine our ass beating efficiency with 15 damage every ass beat?

I'm really looking forward to the episode art now being you guys running away and then Trudy's a robot head and fucking Blake turned into a horse. Okay, we have me, Trudy, Francis, we can all ride on Blake. Don't you have a car? The kids should go somewhere safe.

We don't need. We got to call my brother. We don't need to. right up like we have a car oh you're saying oh the kids get away in the car the kids can get away in the car the kids can go in the car and where we're going we don't need a car where we're going we don't need moms but i mean we're probably going to like wherever my brother is which is probably you know some sort of like i don't think we just drive up to the front gate it's my point sure yeah yeah no your brother that sounds great let's do that so your brother ostensibly is behind the door at project

hartley yes well we know how to get in through trudy's house we got a horse blake costs even stronger than he was yes and we have how many weapons did we get from this How many weapons? You haven't figured it out yet. We'll say there's like five Trudy bodies. Are there any like Mothman alien parts or something in the mess? No, because this is just the pit that he was scavenging your bodies from. Is there anything?

Can we look through all the stuff that Francis found? Is there anything that could, is it something that could add to? Yeah, like a little flappy wings for her body or spider legs or something. Is there anything that works for Trudy? Yeah, can we turn it into that baby doll from Toy Story? Let's take a second look. I put Trudy's head over the pit again and scan. Do you see anything?

I will say that there's a bunch of extra parts. I will say that if you want to rig up some sort of new type of body for Trudy. First off, like, if we put Trudy's head on a body, does it do anything? I'm no, because most of these bodies are pretty fucked up. And then also you can't just like, she wasn't a clean break. Yeah. You would need to, like, science her sparking wires onto them. Do you know what I mean?

Yes. However, at Project Heartland, you might find some sort of device. or some sort of person or some sort of talking dog that would know how to use the parts that you've gathered here aside from each one of them has like an explosive core that is the detonator part. But there might be enough miscellaneous parts here

to stitch together some sort of strange body for Trudy should you decide to do that. So my brother was in where we were like, we could theoretically like walked into his room. Yes, except the door was locked. Yeah. It's like in Dark Souls 1 where the final boss is right next to the first torchlight.

It's like Metrovania or a Silk Song and we're like, oh, that door we need a horse to get. to it and now we have it. It's a horse-shaped door. It was a horse the whole time. That was what you're missing. So yes, that's what you have. Sorry, Trudy. That's okay. I'm sure we'll find some. I know. I know. Did you guys tell me, Bibi comes up

because didn't you guys tell me about like a, there's like a really smart talking dog and like all sorts of cool science stuff at Project. You have to call the Army, B, B, B. The Army? Yes. You three kids. What are we doing? We are going to go do. You got to go, you call every, not these law enforcement. We go there. Call the FBI. Feds. We need federal agents. Call the FBI. Wait.

No one's chasing you now. The F guy exists. Call J. Edgar Hoover. Yes, take the car, go someplace safe, and call everybody. Call the U.S. Army. If those boys can fight Hitler, they can help with this. But what about the adventure? Are we supposed to go?

We're going to go on the adventure with you guys. We're going to figure out what's going on with Brian Charlie. This is probably adventure. We can't all, the four of us are going to go and try to find my brother. Okay, that's what we are going to do. That's what we need to. We need you. One, there has to be something left.

We can't just save the world and have nothing left. Like, you are the new generation. You three. Look at you three kids. You're beautiful. a couple years old. Shane is older than Francis. Why is it Shane going with?

Yeah, I feel like I should go with you guys. Francis is already deep in the shit, okay? Yeah, I'm pretty deep in the shit. I'm what about me? Some horrible person who I still don't know who they are shot my leg off. And someone else killed my father. And I can't rest until I figure out

who those people are. Let's put a pin in that. Until after the Army show up. Yeah. And you go do that. You think about what's happened. But you... Your dad's probably got case files and stuff.

You could go find those. You know what? I will. I'm going to dig up my dad. case files, and I'm going to painstakingly retrace the last moments of his life and see if I can figure out who shot him. Great. That's excited to have that conversation later.

All right. BB, you need to take care of them. Get some help. I don't know what's going to happen. Even if we find my brother, this is not just a silly job to get you away from this. Like, I don't know what's going to happen. We're infiltrating. There's only so the less people, the sneakier we can be.

But also, like, I don't know what's going to happen once we find my brother. I don't know what the next steps are. We need help. And you're the only one I trust. Keep this under your hat, Bee. me, but you're the adult here. Other than me. You're in charge of this group.

Yeah. The subgroup is what you're saying. Okay, you're right. And you know what? While I'm keeping an eye on them, I think it's good to keep Shane occupied. I, the world's greatest detective. I'm going to help him figure out who shot his leg off and who killed his father.

We're going to get to the bottom of it. Don't you worry. If you do figure that out, you know, like take time to really think it over. I think once I figured out that someone's a dirty criminal, that's it. You know, I've made up my mind about them forever. Okay. That's fine. There's only two types of people in this world.

People who are good and people who have done bad crimes. Oh, boy, you are young. But you can count on me. Wentch to, Timmy with you and all that. Milton! And Milton's like, yeah, BB. It's like, we've got a case to crack, Milton. Okay, just give me one second.

And Milton sort of like walks over to you guys. And I guess, I guess this is going to be it for a while. I really hope you guys do well. It won't be. Hey, Milton. Uh-huh. You've been very brave and you've done a lot. And it's, I'm going to come back.

And we're going to be okay. Okay, go take care of your mom. Yeah, we'll see. We'll be around you again. Yeah, we couldn't have done this without you. Oh, fuck, where's my mom? Oh, God. Where did she go?

We're going to find her. That sounds like a fun little side quest for you to do. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can do it. Kelsey, I can't do anything. I'm useless. Look what you've done so far. Look where you are.

Look, you fought monsters. You've gone to chase and look at you. Even when you've been blinded, you've done so much. And you helped me and you helped save my life and you're going to do great, okay? And I know it's a lot for you four kids. How many kids are five? There's a lot of you. There's a few of you.

You keep adding more. That's just like what's like to be a teacher. But you're good. You're going to be okay, okay? Okay. Chin up. You got this. Kelsey, and he sticks out his hand.

I stick out of hand. I was like, there we go. That's how you treat an aunt. And I shake his hand. I always shake my aunt's hand by here. It's been an honor. And it will be an honor again. And I love you.

I love you too. And he goes off with the group. So this group is. So right now it's Shane B. and Milton. And so the last one, brooding brutally by the car, is Timmy. And he... Particularly of them privacy, I kind of put trees out on like a big stick.

I can just like slowly moving over. Like a selfie stick. Yeah, like a selfie stick. So he stubs out his cigarette. So I guess you're leaving again, huh? I guess so. I... Okay.

I wish I could tell you that I knew I would be back. But I don't know that. I'm just trying to... to save the world, I guess. And I want the world to be better for you than it has been, if that makes sense. I think I can understand that, you know. I want the world to be better, too. I wish it was.

I don't know if it can be, even if this all gets solved. I mean, it seems like the world's a pretty dark and fucked up place, Mom. Yeah, but you're in it. You know, that's what I think. And I think, oh, I get so pissed off at things. and then I remember that the person I love the most is in this world. So it's worth sticking around. I love you, Timmy.

Mm-hmm. I know you'll do good. I'm sorry I got mad about everything back there. No, don't even say it. It's okay. You know, I just feel like I just, I'm his son. You know, I know it's fucked up, but I love, I love him, and he's my dad. And I know that he did really, really bad stuff. And I know that he was really bad to you and bad to me.

But, you know, he could be really funny. Like, he made me laugh. And, you know, he saw something in me. He wanted me to be, you know, and he's gone. And I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I thought maybe I would have a chance to say something.

And I just, I fucking hate Francis so much. I just, I cannot believe he did that. I'm so pissed at him, mom. I can, you know, like that. dark part of me comes up, that other part of me that I feel like I got from dad, the fucking part that is good at hurting people and doesn't kid just wants to cause pain. And I can feel myself feeling that way about another kid and that sucks. Baby, stop. It's the dark part that you're describing. I mean, yes, your dad will always be a part of you and for better,

for worse. But the darkness is in everybody. Everybody is capable of terrible, terrible things. I'm capable of very, very terrible things, even without a body now. Yeah, I know. You know, because you're human, and that's just, you know. I mean, that doesn't make it okay, though. You know what I mean? Like, doesn't make it okay that... But maybe to be human is to fight the darkness,

to know that you can mess up and that you can still, you know, live. I don't know. We must imagine Sisyphus happy. What, baby? that it's just this something I read he's this guy who pushes his boulder up this hill and it always rolls back down and you know Camus says that it's just kind of like you know

kind of how we are that we just grapple with life and it's absurdity and you know you try really hard and it just rolls back down and it's just endless and you know that's pretty pretentious to me fuck me I get look mom Francis is watching this from a distance and I'm gonna call a shot and have potential mechanical blowback

if I'm wrong okay so I'm thinking Francis sees like a genuine heartfelt conversation between a mother and a son where they're both exchanging actual ideas and like they're on the same page even if they're disagreeing and he in his head says Trudy's coming back no matter what

so if Trudy ever dies or seems like she's in a position where Francis can't get her out his mind is going to like shatter completely Oh no damn okay All right I like that Dang dude coming up with mechanics for storytelling Someone yeah if you tried DMing

I was going to good once. Timmy, real quick before I go. Oh shit. Your head like dips down for a bit. I'm sorry, I've just been holding this for a long time.

It's like a boom operator and I kind of like, okay, let me just, and I just, I didn't know it's that long. I'm in, I'm sorry. Trudy's in shot.

Okay, I got a steady boomer position now. Boom operator position. I'm good. Timmy. So, yes, you have your father in you. You have me and you. But, you know, I think that part of growing up is realizing that, despite that you're you, you're you,

you're not either one of us and you can go on to do things that neither of us could have imagined. Okay, you mommed me. You got it. You mom me, mom. Okay. Yeah, I appreciate it. I'm still, I'm going through a lot. I appreciate it.

And, you know, I, um, it'll be okay. It'll be, I, I don't want to think about what it's going to be like if it's not because I don't want to lose you again again again and i love you timmy i know you want me to say it but i need some time okay but i i you know i yeah well you can say it when you're ready and when you see me again if okay i mean yes when you see me again okay okay okay i will all right well i guess this is goodbye for now but go kick butt and uh he kisses you on the forehead and walks off to join everybody else I kind of lift Trudey's head up a little bit, so she can get his head for it. Thanks, thanks, Ms. Grammer.

Thank you. So, if he's walking to the other car, I feel like he has to pass by, Francis. What does he do when he's, like, within potentially, like, touching range of Francis? You should do that thing that he can't even look at you. Like, he's just walking past you. If you would like to do something, this would be your opportunity to. Do you like the end of the third man? I'm just looking away from him and I say, when this is over, you get your shot.

Oh, God. And he stops and he looks at you and he nods and he keeps walking. Cool. We're like samurai now. All right. And so the four kids clamber in. Fucking like 30 years or now Kelsey is going to be retired on some beach and then fucking Timmy's going to open the door. Like I kill Francis.

You know what he told me? I would never. I got it out of him. He tosses a sore on the ground. She's like, I knew this day would come. What do you think I've been doing? These past 30 years, I've been training. They all clamber into the Kaiser, Fraser, vagabond, and speed off into the night.

And now you are once... Hop on board, everyone. It's just Kelsey and... We tie it to... I'll drag all these bodies behind me. And Trudy, you can ride on my head. Oh, wow. So now, as the moon shines in the night sky, with a universal...

of horrors awaiting you. It's like I'm galloping. Huh? Get it galloping? Because I'm a galap? Oh. You ride four against the world. A teacher, a teen, a robot head, and a horse with a giant bag full of dynamite trailing behind you.

You are a war horse. Hey, we should walk in the bar. As you ride off towards your destiny and towards the grand finale of the Peachyville horror. The broken sky All I ever wanted was to feel so ordinary In a world that lies

Twisted in my mind and now I'm gone All that I can see is a hole in the star Is it making them scars too far, too far away, but I'll stay today? Thanks so much for listening. Beth May has entered into the world of streetwear and high fashion and apparel, and we are proud to announce the Beth American Apparel Collection only on the Dungeons and Daddy's store. Patreon.com slash Dungeons and Dads. It's one of the latest posts.

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Swallowing my... dreams in making them scars too far too far away that I stay today all that I can see is upon the stars Swallowing my dreams and making them scars Too far, too far away But I stay today It'll be a seven part for now. Your idea of calm confidence happens here.

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