Dungeons and Daddies - S3 Ep. 39 - Gutteral Scream (Finale Pt. 2)

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

A bowling team tries to save their friends, their town, and the world.This episode contains Violence, Gore, Profanity, Sexual Content, Suicide, Drug/Alcohol Use. If you are struggling or need extra support, please see the resources below:• A warmline is a phone number you call to have a conversation with someone who can provide support during hard times. Find a warmline at WARMLINE.ORG• If you are in crisis and a warmline can’t provide the level of support you need, you can reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or using the chat box at 988lifeline.org• Here is a link to international crisis linesSupport the show on Patreon!Get merch and more at our website!Follow us on Bluesky @dungeonsanddads!Check out the subreddit!DM is Will Campos Kelsey Grammar is Matt Arnold Francis Farnsworth is Anthony BurchTrudy Trout is Beth May Blake Lively is Freddie Wong Theme song is “A Hole in the Stars” by Maxton Waller, Finale theme sung by Elsa J.Annissa Omran is our Content ProducerAshley Nicollette is our Community ManagerKortney Terry is our Community CoordinatorCindy Denton is our Merch ManagerEster Ellis is our Lead EditorTravis Reaves, Omar Romolino, and Brian Fernandes provide Additional EditingCover art and episode art by Alex Moore (@notanotheralex)Get in contact: https://www.dungeonsanddaddies.com/contactThe story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grownups. Content warnings can be found in the description. Welcome, One and... to part two of the season three finale of the Peachyville Horror, which is the podcast that you're listening to. I'm Will Campos, and this is brought to you in Dolby Atmos sound

for the first time ever. We'd also like to extend a quick thank you to our Stubbs members. When we last left our erstwhile heroes, Francis Farnsworth, Blake Lively, Trudy Trout, and Kim Matt's character. They were storming

the... Wait, do you not remember? Kelsey Grammer. They were storming the capital of Pechieville, the town center. They had infiltrated the bison ritual to sacrifice the seed bearer to mother, to bring Zuzel

into the world. The seed bearer, Sven Anderson. Fuck that guy. Of Ma Anderson and her gang. He who had his eyes gouged out by Francis Farnsworth. He was about to be sacrificed when his brother, Tori Anderson and his boys, his gatslinging gangster boys, tried to ambush the proceedings, putting our heroes in a pickle where

they were like, shit. Guy get wanting to do that, but we need that to happen so that we can fucking bring Zuzzo and then we can sacrifice Zuzzo and fucking save the world. In the middle of all that, there was a melee, there was a fracas, and in the resulting brawl, one Francis Farnsworth displayed his bravery and valor and had his bison mask knocked off his face, revealing himself to mother. who has decided that she no longer wants Sven Anderson to be her seed bear

In fact, because he cried, dude Because snap, he cried and tried to run away. Who wants that? Mother don't love no beta, she only wants that alpha. She wants that alpha dog. She wants that alpha dog. She's a breeder and she's ready. Mother wants an alpha is like a name of like those vertical AI.

Mother has decided that she wants her seed bearer to be the boy. Francis Farnsworth. It's hard be it for me to disarmesworth. point in a lady. There is a part of Francis, like a really small part that's like, me. We now jump into the action. Francis has been unmasked.

Kelsey still in her bison mask has Francis slung over her shoulders as she just told everyone that she wants to collect his ears as trophies. And I believe Trudy and Blake are still both in bison masks as well. I'm in disguise. Oh, that's her no guest. Blake is disguised as Dr. Man, one of the bison leaders. And Trudy is in disguise at the back of the crowd somewhere.

She just planted a bomb. Under the pulpit that Brian Strikes Mitchell. The only one who's not disguises me. Yes. With that, we are ready, ready for the big ride, baby. Here begins the finale of the Peachyville Horror. Should we close the door? Are you afraid?

There's a cockroach. There is a cockroach somewhere behind that. This is an extra spooky episode because besides that, it's the finale of the Peachyville horror, the spookiest season we've ever done is that there was a giant cockroach in the office and Freddie failed to get it. And it ran behind the shelf

that is currently behind Beth. So there's a ticking bomb. We know there's a cockroach like four feet behind Beth's all there. It's not a shelf we can move because it's covered in board games. It's really big and heavy. I think in board games and Maple Syrup.

I think four big strong men could move it. So Beth feels distracted just because she's constantly looking behind her. And if you hear a screen, then you'll know. You'll know our little friend has returned. Easily the fastest roach I've ever seen my entire life.

A likely story. Amble Crossing fans know what it was like. It was like, whizoo! So Francis is going to turn and whisper into Kelsey's ear. If you've ever trusted me, this is the moment to trust me.

I've never trusted you. I know. I'm saying, could this be a moment where you do? Oh, you want this to be the first moment to trust you. Please trust me. I know exactly. what to do. As you guys are whispering to each other,

there's a tither of controversial murmuring amidst the Bisons as the swap is being proposed by the speaker, the emaciated military corpse that mother is marionnetting to speak to all of you. And Brian strikes Mitchell as deferentially as he can, says, oh, great and wise and powerful mother, I just truly worry that such an offering as this would be insufficient to your...

Highlands, I have spoken. Mother has spoken. Do you deny her wish? And with that, his eyes go wide and he just sort of trembles and everyone's looking at each other. And you hear another groan in the sky as you realize the time is of the essence here.

If Zuzel is going to be born to save the world, it needs to happen. Lickety split. Brian strikes Mitchell, stands up and he looks to everybody and he just kind of gives a little shrug and he says, bring forth the boy. Francis is going to jump off of Kelsey and try to make a break for it.

Away? Just randomly. doesn't matter. Oh, okay. So you kick off of Kelsey? To keep my disguise, I go, oh, my ears, those are mine. Oh, yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. Where are you trying to run? You got to pick a direction. Back in the room. We'll say it's three dexterity rolls of increasing difficulty to try to get all the way through to the back of the room. Great. My dexterity is a 60 and I rolled to 74.

Okay. So you are immediately seized by another group of Bisons who grabs you and sort of hold you still. No, no, I don't want to die. I don't want to die. And I look at Kelsey and I, I think, does that mean he wants to die? Brian Strikes Mitchell says, bring forth the boy. So these guys start musseling you towards the front of the room. I walk along with him as if I'm part of the group, pushing them up. Yeah, I think Trudy's going to, like, slither through as sneakily as possible to get just closer to where this is happening. Okay, great. Where are you, Freddie?

I'm at the front holding this giant, Dr. Mann. We're bringing Francis to you. Now, I'm sitting there being like, well, no. Oh, man. Could I use fast talk? Yes, you can. Brian, Brian, Brian. Tell me more about yourself.

What's it like being burning strode Mitchell? Tell me everything about your life. For example, have you had a great victory, suffered a great loss, and carry great burden, hypothetically? If I had, boy, I would be there instead of you and it would be the greatest honor of my life. Now, silence!

And he slaps you hard across the face. Oh, wow. I said out before you said he slaps you. I just knew it was coming. Wow. How close am I did the jiz jar at this point? The chug, jug, if you will. All right.

All right. Anthony, picture at church. You've just gotten to the front of the pews, but you haven't gone up the little steps to the altar to do community. yet. And at the top of the altar, you've got Brian Strikes Mitchell at the dais where you'd be giving the sermon or the eulogy in your case. And then on the other side is where Dr. Mann is holding this jar of alien pseudosperm that you're going to have to be down in just a second. So Freddie's holding this sperm. I am. Yeah. Brian Mitchell looks at you, Freddie. He's like,

present the bearer. Bring forth the potion. Come on. Hurry up. Francis is going to stumble forward into Dr. Man and like squeezes his leg for a second and be like, it's cool. Give it to me. I think Francis is just going to die. I promise I'm not going to die. I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you. Just last time your plan was to kill yourself also.

Am I a dynamic character or a static one? We'll find out. I'm going to take as Dr. Mann, a couple steps forward. Castor out see if there's any other moves. I lock eyes with Blake and I like kind of give him like the look that says he told me to trust him this one time and I'm choosing to trust him. Perhaps you should look at it to your heart and trust him. too, and I give you that look.

Trudy looks at Francis, and it is in the bison mask, and makes the sort of, like, cut throat gesture, which I hope to, like, the fellow bison will look like, yeah, kill that guy. But to Francis, we'll be like, don't do this. Francis winks, and then he downs the chug jug. Oh, no. You pour this liquid down your throat.

You feel strange energies swirling inside you. It has this bitter taste that nearly makes you wretch, but you're able to stomach it and swallow it down. You feel lightheaded and you feel ready for something. And you feel like it's almost like your destiny to be here. There's almost a mild euphoria that you begin to feel as this thing swirls inside you and you see these ruins on your body begin to glow

as whatever is in this is responding to you and who you are and the trials and travails that have made you, Francis Farnsworth. It all seems to be coming sliding straight into focus. And it feels like your life, has purpose. It feels like there's a meaning to what you're doing right now. As you are feeling all of this and you begin to glow, you hear that, again, like a sort of murmuring excitement from the crowd behind you. And Brian Mitchell drops to his knees and motions for you to do the same, Dr. Man. Drops to his knees, like, in reverent prayer or like drops to his knees

in awe. In reverent prayer. Okay, okay, okay. He's like, you're not awe enough. I'm like, okay, okay. I dropped on my knees also. I too. Yes. We're all in Rome, baby. All of the Bison's Neil, Brian Mitchell, raises the epidermicon aloft and says, Great Mother, we present to you the seed. Bring forth our champion. Bring forth the godslayer in our hour of need. Oh, mother, we beseech you! And he prostrates himself, his arms outstretched.

And from her pulsing, pillowy flesh, tentacles slither out, and wrap themselves around you, Francis, and drag you across the floor. And now you're looking up at this cluster of eyes. that seem to be tearing up as she looks down at you and this like wide cavernous slit flapping and shaking as you slide across the floor and you can hear her in your mind talking to you saying be not afraid you'll become something greater than yourself

embrace it embrace it my child be not afraid so Francis is going to to whatever extent he can kind of look around the room and try to take one less glance at his friends one last one last uh one last what's the fuck? No, no, no, I know what I'm doing. He's going to look at his friends and he's going to see all these people arrayed beneath him looking up at him.

And to some extent, this is kind of what he's always wanted. He's respected. He matters now. He's popular. He's cool. And he's going to get to fuck. As he approaches the opening, he says, hello, boys, I'm back. No, he doesn't do that.

Trudy is, like, watching this, like, fully sobbing and, like, very glad that she's wearing the mask. because, like, just absolutely breaking. Yeah, I think I put a hand on true shoulder and my other hand is holding a derringer and, like, is pointing it at the bomb that's underneath. Who has the dagger? I do. It's in my medical bag. And my

left hand goes in and clenches around the hang and they're pointing at the bomb that's underneath Brian. I'm just going to shout it then, like, follow the plan. Gutterall screams forever. Oh, shit. And with that, Francis, you disappear into the fleshy folds of mother. And as you do, you're not, you've come, first of all, no. I feel like I would.

As you do, you realize that mother being of being from beyond space and time, already you get a sense of the sounds of the world outside slowing down, slower and slower and slower until there's like a near static hum. It's almost like being at the center of a black hole in here. But you're within the world, but you're in a deeper sort of transdimensional pocket within it. As the tentacles bring you in, you realize that this process, whatever happens in here, out there, it might take moments, but here it could take who knows how long. As you pull into this space, it's lit by a sort of soft interior glow, like from some heat source emanating deep within Mother. It's kind of a tardis-y, bigger on the inside kind of situation.

And as you're sort of pressed into these folds and into this upside-down world of flesh, you bump into something and you look up, and it is this. the withered, emaciated, semi-dissolved corpse of Tony Collette. And you realize that he must have spent, God knows how long in here before he died. He's been, with his bony emaciated fingers, scarring into the flesh tally marks for presumably each day he was in here. And you realize that you're going to be in here for quite a while. We should do a side story.

That's just so he clutch. I appear to still be all right. Day what? Day two. Time appears to be moving slower. I'm not hungry. I'm quite bored, in fact. Day three, I've gone completely insane.

That's all took. I've lost my mind entirely. 72 hours without the creature comforts of America has driven me mad. Just like count of Monte Cristo. Day four, a noise. Someone is trying to tunnel in. Day five, just my imagination. Turns out how it was crazy.

Day six, a priest has visited me and he will tell me of treasures. But first, I have to get good at sword fighting with him. Day seven, the priest die. Before he could tell me the secrets, but he did show me where a map was. Day eight, I have smuggled myself into the priest's bag. Then they've thrown him off of Chateau d'if. You know a lot of counting Montecris. I just watched it, actually.

Okay, so Francis, that's the situation. You're trapped outside of time, inside Mother's Fleshy Folds with the rotting corpse of Tony Colette for God knows how long. It's your move. What do you want to do? I spend all my magic points and use my spell to swap bodies with my dad. Okay, slay.

Holy shit. First thing. All right. You cast the spell mind exchange. The casting time is one hour, which you have plenty of time in here, allows the castor to trade minds with another individual. So first things first, you're going to lose 1D3 sanity points. Do you switch places or you switch body?

We switch mine, so I'm going to be a little meat flat forever. And he's going to be in the womb. But he's a war hero, so he's done the burden. the great wound and the Yes, as we remember, if you'll recall from Ed Farnsworth, one of the first things we learned about him was that he was shot in the leg in the war, which ruined his dancing career. He fought

a great battle in the war and won when he killed the Nazi sniper that was wielding Bert Hilda, and he now has the strange burden of being a weird, fucked-up skinned. But he is a universal donor. No, he's like his son, he's type B. If you're universally, you're also type B, basically.

So I took three points of sanity damage showing down to 28 sanity. Zealand, pretty sane. Normally, mind exchange costs a little bit more, but since I gave you the spell, we're going to say you burn all of your magic points. And as you do so, your mind blasts out into the astral plane once more. And you find yourself rising up out of mother, out into the sky above Pitchieville. The astral plane itself seems disturbed by all the strange machinations going on.

But as you do so, you realize that your father is a lot closer than you thought. You look down and you see crouched just outside the same. circus tent in the bushes your father's stretched out shriveled loose skin bag its eyes bulging out of its sockets draped over the body of your mother which it is sort of fused with and is now operating in a sort of pseudo mechanical way as it coweres in the bushes you took over the body of your dad while it's all over and it looks up and it sees you and your father beams into the astral realm as well, and you see your father as he once was looking at you. Francis, Francis,

what are you doing? You had a really specific plan for me. You wanted a very specific life for me. Yes, and it's about to happen. It's about to happen, my boy. For you, bitch. And I'm going to switch places with it. No! No! Suck my dick! Give me

a power roll, please. I love this, because this is like when you trade Pokemon and the two Pokemon fly past each other. In the nether realm or whatever. This is like punishing a stage parent. Yeah, exactly. My pal is 40. I rolled a 34.

Oh, wow. Okay. His pal is 45 and he rolled a 29. So the two of you walk as you grab him and try to pull him. He resists with everything he has. He says, son, I can't let this happen to you. You could be a part of something glist? You want to be in that?

That thing that I became? Look at everything. Our mother and your mother and I sacrificed for you. Look at it. I bear that for you. Please, you have to go back. I want to fast talk him. Okay.

I'm going to go, dad, I get it. You went to war with a plan to be a great dancer. And then you got hurt. And that dream was taken away from you. And like a lot of parents, you thought, oh, I'll just make a dream for my kid and that'll sort of be my dream. But that's not actually an okay thing to do. I've realized it's getting to know you and getting to know my friends and getting to know myself, actually. so I think actually the most fair thing for you to do

not even fair I think the thing that would finally give you some peace that would finally give you some rest is if you got to be the hero today if you got to save the world from the powers that be and I think that would make me really proud of you as a dad give me a psychology role my psychology is 80 I rolled a 77 that's why you have

stealth and psychological Stealth psychology, fast talk. He looks at you, he says, I, Francis, I carry the pain and the suffering because what I want is for you to be safe in a world like this that can hurt you, that can kill you. I want you to have power. But you don't understand any of that, do you?

If this is what it takes for you to see, if this whole world is going to go to hell because you couldn't do this because you weren't brave enough to do this, I'm not as brave as you. I'm weak Okay And I'll do it I'm so sorry Francis

I'm so sorry it ended like this I'm not sorry at all He gives you a hug An astral hug And kisses you on the forehead And says goodbye my boy And he lets go And like Pokemon passing in the night

He flies into your body Suck my dick You wake up in this horrifying nightmare of a form you now find yourself. Don't love this. Don't live this. Don't live this. I start screaming. Give me a sanity roll. Bro, but you have no mouth, dude.

He said he was close. Yeah, he was in the bushes outside. So I failed my sanity roll. Oh, no. Okay, so go ahead and give me 2D10 sanity roll. It's the lowest possible, too. Oh, wow. Nice.

Impressive. It's been a fucked up day, but it hasn't been that fucked up. Okay. Normally, this would break someone's psyche and to, but having mentally prepared yourself for this, having chosen to do this to yourself, you knew what you were getting into, and you now find yourself in this shambling, monstrous,

half-mom, half-dad body outside in the bushes. Do I still have, like, my sneakability? No. You don't think I'd be more sneaky being small? I don't think you would be more stealthy in this form. We'll figure out your character sheet in a second. Like a comfort blanket size, twin bed sheet. Yes.

Like 50 yards. probably climb under the tent. Or also just like if you scream or whatever, I'm just trying to get a sense of where you are. Okay, so yeah, he's the size of, the way I kind of figured it is that like his dad's head has more or less replaced his mother's head. And then the rest of his skin is draped like a poncho,

like kind of over her body and is melded with it. That's cool as hell. That's fucking cool. Some SEP shit. So yes, and he did say that he screams. Everybody give me a listen roll. This will be a hard roll because she's just pretty crazy. I think it's whether or not we hear it, right?

Yes. Okay. Not thinking of any fucking idea what it is. Oh. I got 16 and my listen is only 25 oh wow okay listen is 29 I got an eight super success I also pass I got 26 okay you will know will will as a fellow father you know this amongst the entire crowd in a playground you can hear your kid through all the noise you go you go that's my kids I mean you all hear a scream it is now can I roll no whether or not I can feel that's Francis

even if it sounds like his dad the tenor what the scream is is Francis is it's a gutteral one Right. If one of you get... It is you actually quite literally hear a guttural scream. Everybody give me, this will be an extreme no roll. If you get an extreme success, one of you will clock. That's super duper. That's a super duper. But it sounds scarier when I say extreme.

93. Oh, this is loud. I just got a regular success. Okay. Because I feel like what are the odds? You know? Something crazy is happening right now and somebody behind these screens. They do know I'm going to do something clever.

Dude, this is just like the song, frightening crashes where the baby cries right as the old woman dies. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What, Matt? You're a twinkle in your eye. Well, I have 12 luck still. Oh, wow.

If I spend 10, I get the super success. The no is 14. I rolled it at 24. Okay. If I spend 10 luck, I would get a super duper success and then I'll have two luck. You'll have two luck. It's up to you, Matt. You will know that Francis is okay.

I will know it's Francis. You will know that Francis is alive. Whatever comes out of that thing, when whoever plunges the dagger into its head, you will know that that is not Francis, who you are killing. But a lot of finale to go, Matt, and you're the only one with luck left. I know,

but knowing Francis is alive would love Kelsey do. Also, wait, one sec. I did a PDF so I had to change my no, and then it's not like auto calculated. One second, I might not be able to even do this. Oh, I have to use 12 luck. What, really?

Because I actually have less, no. Okay, yeah, I'll use all my luck. Wait, if you go to zero, do you die or something? No, no, no. It's just that you will go down a one look. Okay. And then you'll have the same. stupid rule with everybody else, which is if you guess the number

I'm thinking of. I'll go down to zero because I have 12 luck. I have to 12. Oh, thank you. You go to zero, but this is the game we play. A teacher knows the voices of all their students that Francis is essentially a student at this point. So yes, I can tell to literally a student of you. That's true. Yes, so through the wind, you remember that

this was the exact same cry that Francis did like when Shane gave him an atomic wedgy one day. I think it's a cry. Here's what you hear. No, it's what you hear. Oh, fun. There's a moment when Francis finally broke down about admitting that he shot shame and he cried in Kelsey's arms and he sobbed. It's that same sort of sob and then he comes out. Does Kelsey have her mask?

Kelsey does have her mask on. Yeah, I played it perfect. They think I'm just like a crazy ear wanting bison. So yes. Okay, so I know it's Francis. So you know it's Francis. He's just relieved but terrified that hearing Francis like. You all see Mother begin to quiver and groan and shake the very foundation.

of the ground around, you seem to crack and rumble. And the bisoners are absolutely agog with excitement. They're all sort of rhapsodizing and praying, saying, Zuzel be praise, Zuzel come forth, Zuzel be praise, Zuzel come forth. And sure enough, after it, what seems like forever, but could only have been a matter of seconds, you see mother swell in size as something is being grown inside her.

You see, like, the Kethulu version of a baby kicking at the size, of her womb like these fists pushing and pulling and you see that slit in front of you begin to stretch and dilate and open and on the other side of it you see these two hands massive hand grabbing the sides and pulling them as zuzel is birthing himself into this world you know they didn't even need a doctor here baby does it himself maybe does it on the butt when it comes out you just basically see it start to crown you see the top of the head I'm to spank the baby start to push its way through. That's Zuzel.

That's my cue, dude. Do I recognize it? Kelsey, is that a lot of experience with Zuzel? Oh, it's true. Oh, yeah, that's the top of Zuzel. It's a top of that head anyway. That little dome, that's a tiny dome. Last time you saw that, it was, uh, I don't know what the two of you got up to that

you were looking at the top of his head. There's a limited number of things it could be. I mean, he could just bend down and pick up something. That's one of them. You could have been higher on the staircase. My legs. Eastern Promises style You could have been on a ladder

As this is happening This tremendous psychic force Begins to blast out from Mother And you feel It's almost like a wind being pushed against you And even from where you're standing, Freddy You realize you're not going to be able To just sprint over to her instantly

You're going to have to pass a strength check Twice to get to her Is what I'm going to say Trudy I put my arm kind of on your shoulder And I want to lead you backwards because I'm going to shoot the bomb. And then I also whisper, I go,

I don't know how, but Francis is a lie of Trudy. No, that's him. No, he's not in it. Just trust me. Trust me. He's not in there. No, he's not in there. But I'm about to blow this fucking place.

Because I think Blake is going to make a run for it. And then I want to step back. I'm trying to move back from the podium. Where the bomb is going to go off. Yeah. Okay, great. And is Blake safe from where the bomb is going to go off? Blake is not safe from where the bomb.

safe. No, he's in the blast radius of this thing, for sure. Ooh, okay. Well, if he's not safe because he's close to it, he would be walking away from it to get to the Zuzzo. Blast him forward. Exactly. Rocket junk.

Exactly. Based off what he said, the only geography that makes sense to me is that he's walking away from the podium to get to the mother, right? So basically, okay. Because he says two turns away. We're going to, we're going to Catholic Church rules, right? So. Whoa.

Catholic Church geography. Everything's fair game. Why did I open this door? Um, you guys are in the pews, so to speak, there is the altar. Behind the altar is where mother is. Yeah. Forward and to either side are where Brian Strikes Mitchell is, like on the left. Yeah.

And Blake was on the right. So he's going to be coming, I assume, at a diagonal towards mother. But the bomb would be going off on the left. He was a candle bear lighting the book during the homily. Sure. So yeah. So then he would be walking away from the podium to go towards mother. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although I don't know that a blast would really send him. further towards her. Do you know what I mean? Okay. Until he had gotten farther enough back. Listen, I think you guys might need to push me. You're right. I'm by pull his place up, I mean, I'm just going to start shooting.

I think you're going to have to help Blake. Then Trudy will try to sneak your way closer to Blake. Okay. I want to aim. Before we do, Eddie and start. I'm aiming at Brian Strucks Mitchell's head as if I can shoot the bomb. So before we get into comedy, just to be clear, you can shoot the bomb. Yeah, yeah, but it'll blow Blake.

Blake's got the sword. I can also just shoot him in the head and start shooting. shooting. Yes, that's true. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yes. Blake, what are you doing?

I'm going to have my medical bag in front of me, and I'm going to struggle against the current and heroically one step at a time, make my way towards the crowning head. From outside, I feel like Francis would hear this, like, Eldridge creature coming new existence. Yes, you know what's happening, for sure. Do I have control over my mom's corpse? Yes, you do.

Yeah, you have, it's just the complete package. Okay. It's your, hey, it's not your mom's corpse anymore, buddy. Let's take this baby for a spin, buddy. Take this thing for a spin if you want. So I feel like if it's a circus tent, that means that the sides of it are just cloth, which means I could just grab one of the sides and pull it up

and then I would have entrance into the tent, yes? Exactly, yes. And no one seems to be watching. Classic circus tent stealth maneuver. They couldn't keep people away from the circus on the inside because of how shoddy the defenses were on the outside. That's why they had to come up with the rings. Yep.

So I'm going to crawl inside. via tent and sort of see where I am in relationship to everyone else. Give me a stealth role to do that. And we are going to say that your new stealth skill is 45. Is it a 92? You successfully get under the flap, but as you do, you bump into somebody,

like one of the bison sort of at the back of the room. And he turns towards you, and we are going to give him a sanity role. Yeah, because that's fucked up what he just saw. Okay. He just looks at you and recoils back. He manages to keep his wits about him, and he screams.

Hey, it's me, Mr. Farnsworth. And he goes, uh, oh, no, calm down, it's me, Mr. Farnsworth. Wait, this is good.

So then at the back of the room, they're not looking at Blake. Yeah. At the back of the room, a guy makes a big old commotion. There's a commotion, and yes, like a lot of the bison

start to turn and look at what's going on, and then like all eyes seem to fall on this shambling corpse, and no one quite knows what to make of it. Did my son go into the womb? Is that my son? Is that my grandchild over there? Trudy would like to take advantage of this

to get up right behind Blake. Okay, great. Trudy give me a stealth roll with advantage because, yes, there's a lot going on right now. With advantage, I got a 36 and myself is 39. Okay, so yes, you're able to get up there and nudge him without anyone really thinking anything. I just put my hand against his back. Okay, great. And so I'm about ready to push him.

Awesome. And now, Blake, you're going to make your move? Yes, I'm going to rage against this unholy current and put one foot in front of the other. And I got a 26 out of 75, which is a super success. As you approach, you've crossed beyond sort of the altar area, you're almost up against the face of this thing, and its head begins to burn even more, and you see Zuzel's horrible eyes glowing.

You see his nose beginning to sort of peek out, and you realize that if his mouth gets out, he's going to be able to unleash that screen that will render all of Peachy Villains sane and eventually kill them. I'm going to give Brian Strikes Mitchell a spot hidden. Great. And then after he does his move with a spot hit, I'm going to shoot him. Brian strikes Mitchell, in fact, does look up. He's looking at the back of the room, and then he glances back up when he hears, frankly, the dilation continuing to stretch.

And he hears more skin pushing forward. And he looks up and he sees you approaching the altar. He says, Dr. May, what are you doing? And then I go, hey, Brian. And he looks. And I go, shh. And I'm going to shoot with my aimed shot, with one of my daring. With your Derringer, which I believe is a bonus die for aim, right? Yes, it's a bonus die to your aim. I don't even need that advantage. That's fucking crazy.

It's either a 91 or an 11, so I'll do the 11, and that 11 is a super success. Roll 1D6 for me, please. Five. Five. Okay. Wow. All right, great. NBC's take fucking major wounds and shit, right?

If that's more than half or half, right? Is he 10? What's his HP? Matt's really Of all of them, I think it's like 10 Pretty sure I killed him I'm pretty sure He's not bad a human

That's more than 10 It's a kill, it's a death Pretty sure of human He's a fucking bullet He's a little librarian too He's a little librarian too He's fucking small Don't fucking pretend

Like he's more than 510 He might put six on his fucking profile But there's no fucking way He's six foot tall That guy's got fucking 9 HP How much AP did a guy All right you know what Matt We are going to roll his HP

To see if you fucking did enough here To knock him out Generally humans have like 10 to 15 Somewhere in there And he's a shrimp of your guy We're gonna say a D4 And a D8 Okay.

He's going to give us his health. That's not a bad max of 12. Yeah, pretty good. He has six health. Oh. Yeah. Bam! So, yes, this is a nasty boy shot on Brian Strix Mitchell.

We are now going to do... You have one word to say to him. His constitution score. If I get up to him, I'm just going to shush him again. You're not going to tell him to eat? Nah. He thinks I'm going to do something clever. I'm just going to go, shh.

He has a 60 constitution, which he just barely passed. Oh, damn. So, yes, you get a big old fucking chunk of him. I think the pop of his skull like flaps up. Oh, yeah, because it's a Derringer, yeah. Yeah, he's just straight up as a bullet in his head now. Like, it's just in his skull. Yeah.

And he's just reeling. And then he says, they're here! That is hyperventry. You know, literally, do you want to switch these? No, I'm totally fine if you want to switch. Unfortunately, I googled. Cockroaches. Big, big cockroach pictures, big scary cockroach pictures.

Search by image, full screen, full quality, full quality, high quality, big cockroach pictures, close up macro lens. How often are cockroaches being still? It makes you feel better. But wait, cockroaches are not often still. It can stand motionless for periods of time as they use their antennae and other sensors to detect threats, but they are constantly active in seeking food.

I'm moving my laptop down so I can have a constant view in your direction so that if the cockroach comes out, I'll get scared first. It makes you go to cockroaches don't like light, which is why they scurry away and we turn the lights on. So it's going to move around, but in the dark over there. This is already the spookiest episode.

So now we are going to start combat again. Francis, I'm going to roll your dexterity. Actually, you roll your dexterity for me. Your new body. Well, let's see. What you have? It's an 89. God damn it!

The one time I wanted to roll high, rolled high. So we're at the top of the turn order. Francis, it is your turn. Okay, so what can I do in this cool new body I've got? Cool new body. Let's see. That'd be awesome to say, just like out and about. Yeah.

What can I do in this cool new body? This cool new body I've got. Here's what I'll say. Here's what we'll do. Your mom's body is just a corpse now. When she died, she reverted back to her normal physical form. Your father is imbued with a sort of strange magic power, which you have now inherited because you are in his body,

which means that if you want, you can use your mom's body to throw your dad like a pizza dough and have him glom onto somebody else and attempt to take over their body. Oh, my God. He like, yeah, he kind of like described as like one of those like points. Yes, he almost ate Blake, remember? Like he tried to absorb Blake.

He's a brain mancho. Well, I'm definitely going to do that. You are in fact right now face to face with another bison. So if you want, I would say that, Yeah, you can either brawl him or you can do a fighting maneuver. You would just be trying to slap yourself onto him, basically. Does he know that I am not on his side? I guess not.

If you wanted a fast talk, I mean, you could try doing that. I feel like, yeah. You do look like a person with another person's skin. Yeah, yeah, but I'm a person they've seen before. Presumably my mom would have been like, yeah, I turned my husband into a flesh poncho. Fair enough. Oh, flesh poncho's here. We were just talking about you.

Oh, we totally meant to invite you to this. They all started getting really awkward. Since fast talk and psychology of the mind, and I still have my mind. Yes, you do still have your fast talk. Tell me what you say before you tell me what you roll. So I say, oh, I'm so proud. I do feel weak, though. The loss of my son has taken some spirit away from me somewhat.

Could I borrow a bit of your strength? Well, it genuinely will not hurt you that much at all, pretty much. But it's all for Zuzzo. We know it's all for Zuzzo. We love Zuzel. And I rolled a 67 out of 95. This is going to be a disadvantaged fast talk. fucking shirt.

Hey, doesn't matter. Wait, so you have a 95? Yeah, I have a 95. All right. I don't want to

make him all other things. Okay, I wouldn't want to fight me neither. You have convinced him that you were genuinely

Ed Farnsworth. He has no idea what's wrong with you, but he manages to keep his sort of disgust down. And he says,

later, okay, later, we're all going to die anyway. It's going to be fine, Ed, it's going to be

fine. And then he turns around. Let's say that. He trusts that you're on their side, so he lowers

need to do a surprise attack on him. Surprise attack you don't need to roll for. Okay, great. What are you going to do? You're going to fucking... I'm going to just like... If the pizza dough is on me, it's going to like invert and go in the other direction and just cover him.

Oh, that's so gross. I love that. Like venom. Like very venom-esque. Yes, so your body pops off of your mother's corpse and it just crumples to the ground inert as you now launch onto this guy's body. He sees Ed Farnsworth's like fleshy. boneless face sort of slap up against his.

Hey man. As your skin now begins to fuse with his. We're going to do an opposed power roll or something on your next turn. And if that wins, you are going to melt his head and take over his body. Very cool. That's way better than being a teen. Blake, it is your turn. You know, I'm just going to give up.

I'm just going to run the other way. Sike. I'm kidding, man. We have fun here, Dungeons at Daddy's HQ. We have fun here. I'm going to keep going, dude. Okay, yes. You can use your full turn to walk to it.

and at the top of your next turn, you'll be able to attack it if you make this role. And so again, this is strength with advantage. And that's actually Zuzel coming out. This is maybe one aspect of Zuzel. 42 out of 75,

regular success. Yes, you push forward towards him even more. Thank you, Trudy. You haven't drawn the dagger yet, have you? No, I'm just holding it inside the, okay, great, quick, great, great. The medical bag. She locks eyes with you,

and then the speaker, this person that's sort of wired to her, turns to you and says, stay back, stay back. And yes, of course, you're seeing Zuzel continue to be birthed out of her. His top lip is out. It is now Brian strikes Mitchell's turn and Kelsey.

His eyes narrow. He looks a little dazed and pretty pissed off. Well, no, I'm not actually looking at him. You're not? Not anymore. Okay. After I shot, I'm like, oh, uh, I'm looking around. Who shot that?

Who shot that guy? Who shot that? Is this a cool thing and they made a really good shot? You got a mask and everything. You did call his attention specifically to you when you shot. Yeah, yeah. And then his head whipped back. and when you look back, there's 30 bison.

I'm just saying what I'm doing. You decide what's realistic. I'm saying that the moment I shot, I try to play it cool. I like that, Matt. Normally, I would say this would be an advantaged role. We'll call it a spot hidden to be like, which one of these fuckers shot me?

Given that you are in a disguise and it is extremely chaotic and he just got shot in the head. We're going to give him a disadvantaged spot hidden role to spot you with his one HP. And he failed. So yes, he's like, someone, she's here. Where is she? She's here. Kelsey, where are you? Brian, realizing that you're here, and if you're here, the rest of them must be here. And given that they're all about to die anyway, he raises his hand in the air and makes a series of gestures.

A red symbol glows in the air as his fingers sort of describe it. And it's just this malevolent alien word of power. everybody give me a no role we want to fail this one I did not 28 74 I fail a super success three I also have a super success I got in 19

okay great then all of you remember from the reading of the book of Ibon that you had back on the boat you remember this being described as the red sign of should mel should mel do what should mael women shouldn't have to do anything should me hell fucking kill you all right now

I was basically what the spell does an awful spell that causes one or several victims to die horribly. There's basically two ways to do this. He can either put his hand up and then in one round it does like a small amount of damage to everybody around him or there's like a bomb version where he does it all at once. He creates this glowing symbol in the air and you see him willing his life force into it. I'm going to roll a dice. A 1-4.

And in one round, you know from remembering the spell from your no-roll. The sign is going to explode in a blaze of red light causing 2D8 damage. to everything within 50 yards, including the caster. Wow. Now, do I also know that if the caster dies before the spell's done, does it still continue? No, he's charging it up right now. One HB, baby. It is now Kelsey's turn.

So he's saying they're charging up? He is charging up. I gave myself a little smirk because fucking idiot couldn't see who shot him. So I'm going to pull out. I am tracking. So let me just get my little. But you're not aiming this time. I know it's to be a normal shot.

I learned. Oh, the gun caught us, yes. So while we are not in a hallway, I will imagine myself in a hallway, and I'm running straight towards them. I mean, the pews are kind of a, you know. Yes. The pews, the church analogy in my mental hallway. But I believe I just got advantage on those.

I believe Freddie, because we did this in his dungeon, said that for the purposes of firing two guns while running down a hallway, you double your firearm skill. How does that work if I got two guns? Maybe it's one roll and then it's just double damage. We'll make it one roll and we will do two damage rolls. Yes, yes, your mind and body and the gun are one. It's an extension of your body. If I got two rolls, I would almost guarantee you hit them.

And everybody's standing in a statistically predictable space. Fuck, yeah, they are. They are more so than usual because it's a church. Is it 10 on a 10 dice? One or a zero? Zero. That is a nine then. Oh, oh, baby.

I mean, there's no way I can do less than one damage. So, yes, you're... Did you paint the picture for me? As he's looking around, he starts charging up. Trudy is still running towards... I'm pushing Blake. Yeah, so I'm going to run through the crowd of the Bisons to my left and right and their bodies, in my mind, are not but a hallway,

like with many hallways that were pictured in the mighty book that I read before. And in this flow state, I actually totally forget even what I'm doing because it's all just statistics now. It's all just memorized. It's just numbers. Angles, dude. That's so sick, dude. Thinking about it, my two guns are already pointing at his head.

But then a flicker of humanity comes back right before I pull a trigger. I just give him a side eye and I just look. I don't think anything of it. And I just fucking pull a trigger. I'm looking away. I don't even see the blood mist. I just am already moving towards my friends. It is a statistical inevitability.

I'm so certain. Didn't it happen? I don't need to double check. I'm fucking shot that three point. I'm walking away. And then I'm running to support... Hey, Jordan, take some notes. And then I've tried to run towards Trudy and Plake.

Okay. So I'm like one turn behind them, essentially. The one thing I will say is that I think for the purposes of doing the gun cadas and doing this move, your mask falls off. Yeah, yes. My mask fell off when I pulled out two guns and shot Brian in the head, Plank, right? So, yes, then my actual mask falls off too. If my mask falls off, can I say I did on purpose then? Sure.

Well, yeah, for the gun cata to even work, you would need an unencumbered line of sight. Brian looks and he sees. two pistols playing with a bison behind it and he says eyes go wide and then the mask just fucking flips off but I'm not looking at him that's how do I care he just sees my side of my face and then his world

ends that's the last thing he sees the last thing he sees before it goes black he's just the side of my face not fucking caring your derringers bark out and sing their deadly song and two more bullets find purchase in each of his eyes pennies for the boatman now who shall take him across the river

sticks hard And Brian Strikes Mitchell is no more. And the epidermicon, this big spell book that he had been reading from, like sort of flaps frantically in the wind. And as he topples over, it knocks onto the ground. You actually shoot the shit out of that book. Oh, yeah, fuck that book up, dude. Not necessarily shooting that book up,

just in case it looks like that thing's too alive. It looks like that thing's too alive. You are now at the point where you will have to make strength checks to keep going forward. It is now the bison's turn. I believe we said that there are. 24 of them left standing last time. And this fight occurs in real time. Yeah.

And this fight occurs in real time. They're all just numbers to Kelsey at this. Dude, she stays some blood. She's gone. Just fucking rogue. Vectors, dude. She's going to teach vector geometry after this one, dude. She can tell you what angle L.L. 24 of them are right now.

Dude, trigonometry, dude. Brian, you mean 13 degrees to the left? Is that who you mean? I'm going to treat them in sort of groups of three. That's how Kelsey dreams of them, too, is the fastest way. Do you need a triangle? A large group of enemies. Just break them off into groups of three mentally.

So I'm in groups of eight. So there's three groups of eight. So the first gang of eight Bisons. About to eat. Yeah. They are the ones closer towards the back. So they are going to respond to Francis's head fucking glomming onto their friend's body. So that's cool.

I said this was part of it. It's all good. They pass their sanity role to watch their friend's head get devoured. So we'll say that there's seven of them who are currently up. I don't know what the fuck they're going to do because it's like his head on his body, right? Yeah, his head on his body and I told them like, this is cool. I don't know that that's going to count for anything. I'm sorry, I don't think you can fast talk your way out of that one, Anthony.

They don't know what's happening down there. It could be anything. They want to pry you off of his body. I'm going to give them an advantage group strength role for them. That's about as many as can actually rush up, like one on each corner. This guy are going to rush up and grab you, Francis, and try to pry you off of your quarry here. That's fair. That's fair.

So you're just meet Francis right now. Yes. Meet Francis. He's a normal 16-year-old kid. Well, you know what? We will say that you've sort of latched on at this point. Aw. You glommed on.

I fall in love quick. This is such a weird thing to try to couch. If I was trying to pull pizza dough off of somebody's face and the pizza dough is fighting back, who boy. You know what will give you a snake? As a bow constrictor, you have a hundred strength. So I'm incredibly strong. Yeah. So I literally can't fail.

You still have to roll. All right. 98. That's awesome. My hubris. So it's still a fumble. So it's a fumble. They rolled an 85 and a 91.

So they just somehow barely beat your disastrous. I think you're still getting used to your new body. So here's what we are going to say is that they are successfully pry you off of this guy. But what they did not realize was that you would already attach to his face. So he is going to take 2D10 damage. So 14 damage. So you mean he's going to take his face. Oh.

I'm just collecting faces at this point, baby. They rip you off of him, and now you have four guys holding you, but as they do so, there's just this sickening, crunching sound as they basically love this guy's head. And they get the jump scare of a lifetime when they pull you off, and they just see a stripped, eyeless, gaping, bleeding maw of their friend with patchy flesh stuck to his skull. And the guy just drops first to his knees, because he's not quite dead, just clutching it in the mangled wreck of his face. horror, and then he collapses on the ground, coughing up blood, his jaw twitching, and his hands just groping in the bloody mess of his face. Hell yeah. And they are all going to have to do another hard sanity roll to not freak out and drop you.

They fail, so you now go splat on the ground. Awesome. The bison's in the middle are going to charge towards you, Kelsey. They can't get to you this turn, but they basically charge up the steps. They'll be towards you guys next turn. The furthest eight bisons to the front are all going to run up towards you, and we're going to give them an advantaged maneuver to do like a sort of comedy movie everybody dogpiles the person kind of thing so they are going to work my moves and they realized the only way to fight against

the guncata is to be a single object that is impossible to kill with one bullet so they become one yes they become one to one large object we'll call this a fighting maneuver so we're going to give them a fighting brawl roll and what do you want to roll against that are you going to try to dodge are you going to try to fight back what are you doing can i fight back eight guys sure dude it's going to be at a disadvantage, but you can try. The gun caught is pretty much designed for the scenario that you're about to enter. Yeah, like you're literally running into the fucking

gunpowder training. Oh, yeah. Do I fight back with the guns? You, in fact, cannot fight back with a gun and call Cthulu. You can do that on your turn, but you can't do it on this turn. And you will not be running through a hallway, and therefore your gun cata skills would be useless here.

Damn, Will you thought of everything? Well, you're being a little aggressive towards the ancient martial art known as the gun cada. I'm not being aggressive towards it. All I'm pointing out is that he merely learned one chapter of the guy. He will learn one move. And we already had a pretty loose interpretation of what counts as a hallway. We will stand

for him on running through it. But Gunkat is also about dodging bullets. That's true. But that's not the chapter that you read. You didn't read the dodger bullets. You're right. So I'm just going to do a classic dodge. 24. Okay. And my dodge is 32. That's great. Because they failed. So it's the classic.

They all pile onto the ground and then someone crawls. Well, not even that. It's like an oh boy's and then you've managed to dodge it entirely. And so you now have eight guys prone on the ground in front of you. The two derringers I just used, I dropped them by one, drop them in a way that they think I did it accidentally. I just want to see one.

Then we'll pick it up like, hey, hey, hey, and shoot and not realize that there are no bullets in there. Okay, great. That's a sure. Yeah. I know that's coming back. Trudy, it's your turn. How are they on the ground? Like, what is there?

Big pile. Big pile. Yeah. They did a dog pile, but that dog's on there. They have not gotten up yet, so I would give you a free shot on the ground. them if you wanted to shoot at them this turn. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm going to shoot at them. Okay.

And how I'm going to do that, I'm going to keep one hand on Blake's back and spin my tripod around so the leg is pointing behind me towards the pile. And I'm going to fire my brin gun. A brin gun. A brin gun. A brin gun. That's really good. If you want to re-roll your attack, you'll need a Brengun Lee Mulligan on that.

How many bolts do you have? have? I have seven left. How many bolts do you want to fire? You could potentially like fire all of them, but that's awesome. I'm going to fire three. This is actually the perfect scenario to do this. Nice. So you have this huge target on the ground and actually you're just doing one volley. They're not moving because it's not their turn and they're all on the ground. I'm going to say you don't need to roll for this. Okay. So give me 2D6 plus four. Roll that for me three times. We're going to do bulk damage and then I'm going to kill a certain number of the guys based on what that does because you're just kind of spraying it into the group. So that would be 6D6, and then we're going to add 12 to it.

28 plus 12. Plus 12. So that's 40 damage. So you open fire with this thing. With three bullets, you kill three of them. So there are now five guys left in this pile with three dead bodies on top of them. Nice. And I'm going to retcon something a little bit and say that before Trudy fires, she shakes off her mask as well and is like, this two shall pass.

Whoa. All right. I love it. Boom, boom, boom. Their heads explode and the other ones are fucking going crazy. It is now mother's turn. Mommy. Mother is mothering.

Mother is mothering. Mother has realized that this whole situation is going a pretty top side. Pretty, what is that? Bad. Pretty bad. Pretty sideways. Pretty sideways starring Paul Giamondi. Yeah, I love it.

So she is going to get into the fray here. While giving birth, she's bad. Yeah. Fucking. Women can do anything. Women can be women, dude. So mother gets four attacks per round. What?

What the fuck? I wouldn't take my mask off as I knew that. Fucking bad boy, dude. She would have seen you opening fire. So first she is going to try to grab Blake. So this is a fighting maneuver called entwine. Normally she can swallow you, but I think her mouth is full at the moment. But she can still.

Wait, do those coming out of her mouth? She's only got the one hole. She's a mono hole. She can see. She's one of those mono holes. She's one of those monoholes. He's going to be able to crush you on the next round. What?

Oh, shit. There's going to be a fighting maneuver. I surge forward like a true soldier of Christ. That's a new angle. Oh, Blake? No, Blake takes a look and sees the one. He knows where he is. He knows what he's doing.

He looks up and he sees who else, the son of God. Staring down upon him who's died for the sins. And Blake is like, I too now understand. And just remember that the church was the description. We're in a circus tent. We're not in a church, everybody. I forgot about that. I forgot.

What are you going to do to get out of her way? Dodge. Dodge. We'll fight it back against Eldridge Horror. Okay. Then yeah, fucking roll the bones, dude. No, 19, dude. Out of 37, I made it.

I made it. 19 out of 37. Yeah, it sounded like a sad noise. What kind of success is that? Not 19, so it's a regular success. So regular success, what is it when you get a 10 in the 10's place? Oh, no. Is it a 1 or a 0?

It's a 0. If you're rolling for damage, it's a 10. If you're rolling to hit, it's a 0. Then she got a 7. Oh, no. Oh, no. Damn it. So she plucks you up. These sillier wrap up around you and hoist you into the air.

And she looks at you with her piercing cluster of eyes. It says, what is this? What manner of man? So that's one of the things she can do. She got, don't she got three more things to do. I don't like that. I don't like the multitasking. She's going to do the same thing to Freddy three more times, and he does.

Well, no, she hasn't hurt him yet. Yeah, but she has two more things to do. She doesn't eat him. Just kill him. What's that? Matt, Matt, don't give him ideas. Well, that's just one move in this. She'll kill me.

And then Trudy and it's all up to Francis. No, to be fair, to be fair, Freddie's not done anything yet. So she's still curious about what he is. And you see her cilia groping around, and then they find your bag that you've got the blade hidden in. Yeah. But they have not opened it. That's a second move, right? Actually, yes.

We don't say her second move is she searches Freddie. So, yes, give me a sanity roll, Freddie, as the fucking little guys wriggle all over. What if I like it? You get a critical success. You like it, unfortunately. No, pretend you like it. So it creeps her out. 74 out of 52, a failure.

Give me a 1D8 sanity loss. Four loss posts me down to 48. So much sanity. Blake's got a good head on his shoulders. We're going to give her a spot hidden. roll. So she roots around and finds your bag and prides it open and sees this dagger inside. You sense a quiver of fear in her. And it's almost like she recoils for a second. But she seems very concerned about what this thing is. And you see that red eye just sort of get an even

deeper, darker red. So that was action two. Now she's going to do action three, which is you don't fucking hit you in the face. She's going to implode me. Now that she's seen the fucking thing, she does not want to fuck around with that. Basically, because she's already got you entwined, Freddie. She's going to get a free shot on you. She's going to roll 2D6 damage.

You take 7 damage. What? What? How much else do you have? 13. Give me a Constitution roll. 13. That's a super duper success.

Okay, so you pass, in which case you do not drop the dagger. And with her final action, she's going to cast about, and she realizes that you were not her only problem, although you are a big fucking problem. She wants to clear the deck here. So she's going to take a,

swing at Kelsey. Okay. She's going to make a fighting brawl roll. I'm going to do a dodge. Ooh, 19 from 32. Very good roll, but it's just normal success. 16. She got a 17.

Oh, she got a 7 again because it's a fucking zero and a 7. Okay, so yes. She's going to go ahead and give you a little love tap, Kelsey. Okay. She hit you for 8. God. So give me a Constitution saving roll.

A 12. Ooh. Super duber success. I get my health back, right? That's super duper extreme success. You can help back? No, that's not. that works. That'd be awesome. I leveled up.

You get, in this game when you level up, do you get help back? This isn't the first hard knock you've taken as a champion boxer, so you take a big old slap. You manage to fucking keep it together. And that is going to be her turn. Okay. Okay. I don't wish to alarm you, but I don't think you have to worry about the cockroach being behind

the fucking bookshelf anymore. It's gone. It just, it literally did a lap around your feet and then scurried off to the left. Where? Wait towards me. It's over that that side. We need to deal with this. I don't know how. It's gone. It's over here now. Oh, my God. That's near my

snuggy. Oh, it's probably in your sleeping bag. No, that's not my sleeping bag. Look, it's not hurting us. We don't need to hurt it. I'm thinking we need to hurt it. I'm not putting my feet down. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's in the wind. Do you want a little thing for an ottoman? Yeah, I'm going to get that chair and put my feet on it. Here, I'll push it.

Oh, there is. Oh, my God. There it is. Right under the couch. Oh, my God. If we were for word of this thing, I just say we should lift the couch. Oh, my God. It's under the pet bed under the couch. Oh, my God.

Just like this, like this. Don't drop the couch on Freddie's head, please. I'm not going to drop the couch, but if this thing runs back towards the teeth. You're going to drop the couch. I'm going to be so brave. I don't know what's going to happen. You captured it?

What does that mean? What does that mean? that mean you think? Confirm. No, don't lift it up. It's not going to lift it up. Dude, if you fucking lose this thing. Can you feel it? What do you're going to go outside with it?

All right. I'm leaving it. Okay. I'm going to take it outside. Don't fuck this part up. It's good that we got a good screen on camera. Perfect for a spook episode. All right.

All right. Okay. Okay. Crisis is worth it. Crisis isverted. If you're just joining us, and, you know, there is a lot of commotion going on off mic just now, the cockroach has passed away from being under a bowl. Oh, no, it dies. I just let it out, and it kind of fell onto its back and its legs are up.

So it's either actually dead or just like, I'm very uncomfortable right now, and I'm going to wait until I feel safe to pretend that I'm alive again. I'm still going to put my feet up. There. We're back at the top of the turnover. It is Francis's turn. Now, Francis, you want to scoot and scurry like a little bug, right? Like a snake. Like the snake, whose stats I have.

I don't think they have a stealth stat for the snake. Let's see. If only there were an animal that encompassed stealth more so than any other to the point where there were five separate video games based on him. Why did I open my big, god damn mouth? It has a, no, nah, nah, nah, no. Tell me the number. Tell me the number.

Tell me the number. number. It has a 90 stealth. Yeah, I don't it! A little snake. A little snake has a 90% stealth skill. A hind D. A girl. What's a hind D doing in this circus tent?

They've got 5-5-6ers and pineapples. So, yeah, give me a stealth roll. D-da-da-da-dun-d-d-tun-4. Dude, you fucking scoot and slither, dude. You've made your way up to the front of the pews. Oh, yeah. So yeah, you're right towards the action But you're still in your little wiggly body

And we're not going to give you like snake bite attacks And stuff like that I didn't expect it But what do you want to do? So what do I see ahead of me? So you're around some guys that have not noticed you So you could try your old story of my life If only they saw the real me

Okay, so what you see is the feet Of a bunch of fucking guys Dude Anthony's applying deodorant You know this move's gonna be Holy shit I have ascended I am defeating perspiration and I am ready to defeat Zuzel. This is the difference between me and Anthony is that Anthony recorded the season one finale

like shirtless and a bathrobe and if I did that I'd be kicked off the podcast. No, you can do whatever you want. You just have to have a confidence to pull it up. Which I don't. So everyone would be unnerved. You know, I wouldn't be kicked off. I would just be so embarrassed. I'd never talk to you guys.

You could do it with your whole thing. You would be wanting. You only think stopping you from doing that is you. I know. All right. Fair enough. Fair enough. True.

Show us what you're working with. I think that's number seven on the list of times. Matt tries to seduce everybody else on the podcast. So, yes, you are amidst the feet of a bunch of the bison's. There's basically a throng of them rushing up to get onto where the altar and where mother are to try to stop y'all. And you are sort of like at the front of them. Okay. Ryan strikes Mitchell lies dead on the ground above you and to the left.

And deep in front of you, you see the five remaining dogpiled guys with the dead bodies on top. with them. Blake is being held aloft by the wriggling tentacles of mother who seems to be rearing back for another slap. And presumably he's held off the ground so it's not like I can leap up and do anything about that. Yeah. Kelsey just got wanged in the head pretty hard and Trudy's gun is sort of smoking from having fired on these guys. Right. I did want to remind you guys that one bomb was planted under Brian Strikes Mitchell's podium, but you guys had five. Oh yeah. Yeah, but who has them? Do you have all of them? I don't know. I had one of them on my body. So one could argue that Zuzel's fetus still has it somewhere.

We just got to get Mother to smoke a sick. I just kind of figured that very least each one of you had one on you. I think that's fair. I like that idea. That's good. Yeah, we did that. We all have one. You're welcome.

I would also like to make a proposition. Yes. Which is that Brian strikes Mitchell so recently deceased, knew a lot of magic. Would it be possible to take over and puppeteer his body and get some of those fleeting memories before they're lost to the ether? and cast some spells using his... Interesting. When we've already seen that, you can commandeer a corpse. Yes.

I like that. That's interesting. That's interesting to me. That's the deodorant doing the work for me. Nice. If you get onto him and you pass your pow roll, we'll roll a 1D4, and then you will know that many spells that Brian Strikes Mitchell knew. And I'm using my OG pal?

Yes, you'll use your OG pal because that's a sort of mental suggestion kind of thing. Otherwise, you will commandeer his body per usual, but you will not have access to his spell library. All right, my pal is 40. That's an 81. Okay. So, no, his mind is unreadable to you as you...

Because he got shot out of his fucking gourd. As you scamper onto his body. That's fine. I can get him onto his feet and try to use him as a defensive barrier in case anybody wants to charge at my pros. You climb onto him, and there's still something interesting one

might be able to do with him next turn. But yeah, you'll be able to stand up next turn. Okay. Blake, it's your turn. You find yourself swaying in the air. You said she was afraid of this knife that I have. I think she recognizes

the significance of what I can do. Can I also stab her with it? I mean, you're restrained right now. Well, then what the fuck can I do then? If you pass an extreme dexterity or strength track, you're straight up free. So 15. I have seven luck.

I rolled a 22. You do the math. I can get out immediately by blowing all my luck right now and getting an extreme success on the strike throw all. How much luck do we have between the entire group right now?

That's going to be all the luck. Well, because if we're doing the one in a million shot thing, luck seems really important. So if we do this, may want to consider the strategies. Let's say about this way. Regardless, we have seven luck then. Yeah, that's true. It's fair. That's not going to make a big difference.

You need to fucking kill the guy in charge up the dagger in order to even do the shot. Yeah. I will say, I should include one key extra piece of detail. Okay. That Zuzel's head has fully pushed out. His mouth is clear. And at the end of this turn, Zuzel will let out his scream.

I'm blowing my luck, dude. I'm blowing my luck. I get a Super extreme, awesome, massive success. I love it. I Hulk out. Yeah, describe what you do. Blake is summoning all of his strength. Oh, my God.

He's also summoning sort of the spirit of Tony Colette in the vent. Yeah. You remember Colossus from the X-Men arcade game? Of course. Yep. That I'm going to expand my arms outwards, take a mighty breath, and explode outwards with all of my Nordic strength. You know what we're going to say is that the luck is that you still left a little bit of horse in there.

In all the right places. You're a doctor man from the head up, but you still got a little bit of horsepower. A little horse power down below the belt, if you know what I mean. But you guys are all now down to one luck. You Hulk out and her tentacles burst out just enough for you to be able to drop to the ground and Landon opposed similar to the matter of Wellesley Snipes and the movie Blade, if one would so wish. So can he stab now? You are right there.

I stab. All right. You plunge the dagger. We win. Into Zuzel. And I go, in this country, we vaccinate. What? What?

It's like a kid who's coming out and stabbing a kid. What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? I'm trying to come up with something on the fly. Right. Azuzzo's lips are about. Ro wins.

Ro wins. Hey, Frey, you've had a lot of wins today. It's all right. You saved the entire episode. It's all good. Yeah. The dagger. plunges into

Zuzel's forehead his mouth opens but instead of a shriek it's just a sort of gas and a confusion in his eyes does he like look like a baby no he looks like a grown dude he looks like yes it's his horrible

twisting face that is every version of himself collapsed into one you guys would be more mesmerized by it if you hadn't seen the freaky painting of it already yeah no if we weren't going to kill him I was going to distract him because his sexy wife is here for me your sexy wife is here remember he He had relationships with all the different dimensions.

I've seen all the possible timelines and we've boneed down in all of them. At the very least, like maybe buying us one turn where he doesn't scream right away because he's just so shocked to see his bathe there. But anyways, we don't need to do that. You killed him. So, yes, the knife plunges into him and almost immediately it begins to glow and thrum with power. Do you hear this enraged squeal from mother as before her very eyes her child is murdered right as he's clawing out of her.

It's a surreal sight, but it's like he's being absorbed into the blade. Like it's his head starts to shrink and cave in as it crunches and gets smaller as the blade begins to shake more and more violently in your hand. And it's almost like it's a... It's sucking him up like a sponge almost. Just like in the movie Cool World.

I love a Cool World reference. And the dagger practically vibrates in your hand as Zuzel's whole form is getting vacuumed into this thing and ripped out of his mother's womb. at the same time you see his hideous umbilical cord snap in half as his whole form is sucked into this thing like a fucking straw for one moment there's complete silence as everyone is in absolute astonishment at what just happened as the dagger in your hand seems to glow with like an ethereal black light and then mother lets out a enraged deafening blood-curdling scream

everybody give me a um what would it be to keep yourself standing constitution Stand-a-D-D-D-Role. So fucking good. Let's do a Constitution roll. I'm already on the ground, sir. Pass. 44 out of 75. Pass 18 out of 50.

You both managed to stand your ground. Kelsey, you drop to the floor clutching your head in agony at this scream. Dang. We'll say that as she's screaming, you can move around and do stuff, but you're clutching your head and you're going to have disadvantage on your rolls. Well, here's the thing. character, I guess everybody. Are we going for the one in a million shot?

Or are we going into, I guess, Blake becoming Demi God. Those are the two options, right? I mean, when we voted before we went in, you all voted for one in a million and I voted for Demigod. Yeah. Yeah.

And look where that got. Why shouldn't, but why shouldn't tie? I got the fucking ball right on the edge of the goal line. End zone. The ball is at fucking one yard because of me. Now, I will remind you, your plan was that Trudy needs to stand at the exact center of town and aim in the exact right direction.

So just to clarify, the spot is, should be where Blake literally has the dagger right now. There's a vector, right? There's an angle and a velocity here. Yes, her angle is already set. Correct. You can be anywhere within the size of the radius, the overall of the dick.

Of the dick. Because, right, like you shooting it from one corner still hits that corner on that side. You have some latitude. You have a little bit to give. Basically, I have a mechanic for this once you get in position. Okay, okay.

Trudy already has her two of her arms locked in position, right? So we have to point her. But you can point yourself. You have the compass on you. So there's really nothing I can do. So I'm just going to hold my turn to see if there's something I can do if that becomes a problem. I will hold my disadvantaged turn.

And we will say that the scream, her scream is shifted. It's no longer that you need to make a strength role to move towards her. It's you have to make a constitution check at the beginning of each of your turns. You're going to break through it in order to be able to move without being a disadvantage. It is now the bison's turn. So I went ahead and rolled Constitution rolls for all of them. The two in front failed and the guys in the back succeeded. So two-thirds of the bison's drop, screaming, clutching their ears while their brethren who may be less affected because they're a little farther away, start pushing their way towards the front to try to get to you.

It is now Trudy's turn. I'm going to try to get to my firing position. Okay, great. So you're in position now. And now you can aim as an action. But that's the only thing you can do this turn. Yeah, I'm going to do that. Okay.

So you are aiming. Because it's a chaotic situation, it's a little imprecise, it's a little fiddly. It feels like it would take a little time to lock into the right position to shoot this. So my thought was, every turn that you spend aiming, you will add an advantage diced to your shot. Okay. Your shot starts at a 50 skill. Okay. If you just go on this turn the second you got into position.

And then every turn that you guys spend aiming after this will add an advantage to your role. So it's a coin flip that will get better every time. Exactly. Right now it's 50-50. and the next one would be like you would have to lose two coin flips or you'd have to lose three coins let's think that those are how the odds essentially stack up if she gets knocked out of position you have to start all over again yeah so we got to protect her essentially good thing I wait I will throw my bomb towards the bison or whatever I'm sick so give me a throw roll

with disadvantage we have like five in throw or something like that you're close I just drop it next to me what did you throw what did you I got 56 because it was disadvantage my throw is 20 so I don't think that that means you literally don't throw it. If you had fumbled it, I would say it drops at your feet. You can, again, it's similar to like how you blew up Camon Juan as you press a button on it and then throw it and it will explode in a couple seconds. Yeah, I'll do that.

Okay. I press down. I just chuck it as far as I can. I'm actually going to say that a success would be you landed smack dab in the middle in the middle of them. A fumble would be it lands in the first third where you and Francis are but also hit some of them. Regular failure, it goes way to the back of the

room. Only the back eight guys are going to be affected by it. But we will go ahead and roll damage for it. Because those are the motherfuckers that succeeded. Yes. If you were going to hit any one group of people, we'll say that. That was going to be the good one to do. I think this is definitely the most suspenseful final battle we have yet done.

I would say that pretty easily. Bro, I'm on the edge of my seat. My seat's all edge. So there's no way for you to not be on the edge of using this. Exactly. This means nothing. No, it means more in the center of it away. It means that my lower back is killing me.

Oh, man. Okay. So Matt. Yes. You fucking chuck the thing. Yes. Arks and it lands way at the back of the room. Roll me a 4D10.

Four different D10s. All right. So here's how we're going to do this. Instead of me doing eight rolls, they're all going to do eight rolls. I got you. Are you? I caught you, dog. First guy, 26.

Fuck. Second guy. 17. Third guy. 26. Fourth guy. 20. Fifth guy.

I'm already in between. Five. Wow. More than the first, 18, seventh guy, 17, eighth guy, 32. Jeez. All right, they're all dead. They're all very dead. Everyone who passed their constitution rolls going, hey, we're feeling pretty.

What's that? And then they explode. So there's a shower of gore and a deafening boom at the back of the room. And you guys now have four sticks of dynamite. You are out, though, so you don't have it anymore. I'm out of the game. No, you're not out of the game. I think you only have one.

Trudy dropped one over there. Maybe Trudy has one more There's also one underneath the podium That's still not used France has lost one Unless it's still in the corpse of Zuzzo Unless it's in Zuzel somewhere But the Zuzzo just got eaten up by the

Yeah, I believe Blake maybe has one Matt What the fuck is Matt doing? Matt's just lifted his desk Oh my God Fully And now he's Are you standing now Matt?

I feel powerful I Nice You're down there and I'm up here Yeah You're down there And we're up here What the hell is wrong on you man?

So it's now Mother's turn. No. Does she have four turns again? Yes, she does. She gets at every turn. But she's so sad. The first thing Mother is going to do is to try to kill Blake. Blake, you see all of her eyes glowing the deepest red you've ever seen, just locked directly on you.

And she raises her tendrils high into the air and is going to slam four of them down on you. So we'll go ahead do a fighting brawl for each one of them. And then we're going to roll damage. Are you going to dodge these? Is that the IDM? Four times? I mean, I have no choice, yes. No, I'm just going to eat them, Will.

What are he talking about? I don't know. Yeah, you can't fight because fighting back. You still take the hits. How much HP you got? I have six HP, dude. Okay. Kelsey wants to watch this.

Oh, my God. Well, she's going to respond when it happens. I mean, she's just witnessing this. Kelsey, thank you for being a friend. I don't know what to do. The place's going to tie. I'm sorry. I'm not good at these situations.

I have this red hot dagger, right? Oh, yeah. Yes, you do. It's the worst case scenario I could stick it in to my home. You could stick it into yourself, worst case. No, the worst case scenario is you explode right now by four attacks. I could bluff this, can I? I could like put the knife up to my own chest and be like, stop, or I will destroy you.

It's her turn, and she's already attacking you. On your turn, you can do whatever you want. I'm dodging four times then. I dodge. I go, jump left, jump to the. You're right. All right. One foot this time.

What's your first dodge? 74 out of deck, 75, a pass. A pass. Okay, good. Your second dodge. 93. A failure. Give me your third dodge.

51. Okay, that's a pass. That's a pass. And it's 65, so it was one fail out of four. Okay. She rolled four successes. Those are all fails because your dodges half of whatever number you think it is right now. well why because dodge is half of decks

it's not yeah I did four failures now that I'm oh you serious yeah what's your decks because oh you were just doing your straight deck skill it could never be higher than 50 no it was 37 was all I was trying me so I did four failures in a row oh my god

never let it be said that that is oh never on the DM side I just killed Freddie I know it's as I've dodged so he's like wait a second how's your dodge 60 or something that's crazy Okay. Okay. So, uh, she's gonna go ahead and roll for damage. Oh, my God. I'm dead. Yeah, but you did a good. Dead. I died. What's your max health? 14. This is not even statistically possible to survive this. You killed Zeus, though, Freddie. No, no, no. I want to stab it into myself. I think you should. It's too late. That's we, we voted not to do that. We probably should have done it. Anthony was right. I was right. In general, Anthony is right. I mean, all we got to do is get to his corpse. Stabbing into my corpse. No, stab it.

I mean, any of us can stab ourselves. Yes. If we stab Blake when he's dead, does that work? Oh, yeah. Could you come back to life maybe? Probably not. I wouldn't want to take that risk. That's fair.

You have a lot of time to think of final words. Think of something better than that last thing you said. It's two D6 per hit. So, yeah, with four. powerful blows. She reigns a total of 31 damage down on you. Oh, okay. You get liquidified. So yes. Pulped. The last thing

Blake Lively sees is four thundering tendrils slamming down on him. Give me his last thought. Let's go inside the mind of the Blake lively. One moment. Blake put everything into this stab and this man is a

soldier. He's seen war. He's seen the worst that humanity had to offer. So he has faced down death so many times on the battlefield, this feeling right here is like greeting an old familiar friend. The darkness to which he is so

acquainted and has been patiently waiting for his whole life. And in this moment, as he stares death in the form of four fleshy tentacles in the face, he says, took you long enough. That's pretty cool. Pretty good.

And the ambister's waiting for him. And then I look at the side. Then there's a golden door and Ambrister's sitting there doing the pose that Christian Bale does after he kills everyone where he puts the two guns close to each other which for no reason. Washington's watching from the other side. And with that...

And he goes, Emberster, warm my guns up for me. Amberster opens the golden door. I'm coming home, my good man. You see pure blackness on the other side. Oh, what the fuck? And Amberster... Unfortunately, as established, death sucks ass in this world. Amberster reaches his hand out towards you and says,

Am an arm, shall we go together, my boy. Hey, Worth. Worth. Am I right, Ambrister. Worth. Yes, Worth? And then together, you link arms with your old friend, Ambrister, and you step into the Eternal Black Knight. Ambrister, I never even used your guns. Oh, man. And the door closes behind them.

Meanwhile, back in Meetspace. Meanwhile, back in Meetspace, Blake is standing there one moment, and then four tendrils slam down. And then you. see nothing but a red smear on the ground. Actually, we see nothing about a red smear and two golden guns. Two golden guns. And a dagger, clattering on the ground.

The dagger gets pasted onto the ground as well. I just want to say that for Blake, this was always the goal, man. He always wanted to save Peachieville no matter what because it was his home. And this was where his expensive property was. All right. So Blake, for the last time will solemnly be removed from an issue to order. Was that four actions?

Yes, that was all four. She emptied the clip on it. Holy shit. Enraged. Also, like, so he bought you that much. Yeah. Because she got to do a lot worse that turn. Yes.

But he took the full heat. I'm glad I watched that. Like I said, I would. Blake. Blake. Why is everybody yelling Blake? What's going on? Francis.

Francis, it is now your turn. You passed your constitution rule, right? It's a new turns now. So new. Oh, what is my constitution? That's up to you, buddy. Oh,

do you want, all right, here's what I'll give you. You can have the snakes constitution. Oh, or I will give you an advantage D100 rule. I will take the advantage D100 rule. Okay,

rolling bones. Let's see what your con is. My con is 78. Oh, wow. All right, now I've got to see what a snake's is. I died twice before any of us died. Oh,

you improve you. You improve your. Man. Snakes is 65, so you made the right choice, my man. All right. So, yes, go ahead and give me a Constitution saving throw. 74, so it's barely beat it. Okay, wow.

All right. You alight yourself. You stand up on the body of Brian Strikes Mitchell. And as you do so, the epidermicon flutters in front of you and seems to, in its sort of intuitive sense, like respond to you and it opens itself to you. Just so you know. What would you like? like to do. How many turns would it take for me to get to the dagger? It'll take you a full turn to get there, but you won't be able to do anything yet. How far away is everybody else from the dagger?

They're all going to get there at the same time, basically. And mother's still going to be able to do four attacks. You guys have a full turn until mother goes again. Okay, so if I can sprint all the way and then not do anything, that means I could grab the epiderminomicon and sprint halfway halfway and then next turn I could sprint the rest of the way and do something. Correct? That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to grab the epiderminomicon, run halfway there, and I guess look at the epitermenomicon see if there's anything I can do with it. Okay. So basically the epiderminamicon is this massive spell book with spells from, you know, throughout the cosmos, essentially. It allows you to learn a spell instantaneously. It's almost like a magic scroll so that you can

read something off of the text and cast a spell. So I will go ahead and give you, I'm going to flip to the spell page. I remember when you did this for us back in the day. I was much lazier. I gave you the whole book and said, I don't know, pick something. That's literally what I'm going to do. Okay. I'm going to give you the whole spell book because I'm like, these are the spells that are available to you. So we will say you have until the start of your next turn to pick a spell. Mother's not a deity, correct?

She is a deity. Okay. I know exactly what spell you should use. The one you guys used to the head of call. That would be funny if we ended the both campaigns in the same way. It is now Kelsey's turn. So Blake just died. That just happened.

Give me a constitutional rule. I pass. My constitution is 60. I got 54. Okay, great. You got mother behind you. You have roughly 13 Bisons. The five Bisons that are left from the ones that Trudy shot are starting to stagger to their feet and they will be getting up next turn. Yeah. I guess. Kelsey is feeling like maybe she should stab herself. I'm running towards Trudy because either going to put my back to her and fend off anybody from hitting her. Or I'm just going to grab the dagger and stab myself. Okay. Actually, I guess I don't need to look. I could be like, Drew, I think I should stab myself. You can't do it. You can't do it this turn. right? Did you advance last time? What did you do on your list? Running down the hallway. I'll give you the same that you had that Francis had a full sprint. We'll get you to the dagger. So I couldn't pick it up and whatever. No, no, actually, wait, no, because you're there. You're literally there at his feet, right?

Yeah. No, you're right. She's there. And I was behind. I was like with her. Yeah, you were with her. Okay. So yeah, sorry. I know this may be fucks with you, Anthony, but you're actually a turn behind them. So you will get to them. Yeah. But you can also tell me what you're just, I guess. We still don't know you exist. I know you're alive somewhere. I know you're alive somewhere. psyched about seeing me. I'm going to grab the dagger then. I'm going to hold it and I can either put it into your arms to aim or I can stab myself. Okay. So yes, you run up and find the dagger and you grab it. Yes. Does it only happen when I grab it? No. Trudy Blake, I don't know. I can, I can do this. I can do you, you have to live. I can do, I can do this. Whatever you decide, I trust you. I just, I don't know what to do either. It's just me. At the end of the day, the only sacrifice we're making is just me to make sure we save everything. that's still an awful lot of sacrifice

Oh that's nice, Trudy I said I put it into your arms then You give me the guy Yeah I slide the cause you have your hands set To like aim perfectly Yeah I'm going to slide it in for the perfect shot But the power's not discharged from the knife

Until Trudy fires it Yeah yeah Okay I'm like oh you're gonna stab yourself I genuinely do not know yet Can Flesh Francis see The Trudy's considering stabbing yourself with it Give me a psychology room.

That's a 31, so a super success. Beth, DM, Anthony, when you make up your mind about what you're going to do. Okay, so then I, yes, I place it. So it's in the correct trajectory. It's aimed out. Yes, and she is aimed in the position. So I guess she's aimed in the position. So you shoot.

You could shoot. It's a 50-50 shot right now if you shoot. Yes. If you want to do one more thing, I won't let you do a combat action. But if you want to do something to try to either draw mother's attention or draw the bison's attention, I will let you do that. Hmm, it's a tough one, because we, I don't know where Francis is. My time is think is that we were going to vote. Is me?

Is that I should just stab. Let's get this butter. I should just stab myself. Well, you already gave her the knife, so that's out of the question. No, I could just lean on to it now. That would be fucking wild. It's like you're doing it, Trudy. Holy shit.

Because mother's behind, though. It's like, that's this problem. It would be one thing we're like distracting the bison or whatever, but like mother can just, I mean, we could just take the shot at 50-50. That's better than nothing. Has mother done her turn, though, before? It's you, and then it's the Bisons. Yeah.

And then it's Trudy and then it's Mother. Okay, so then yes. Oh, here's what I'll say, Beth. You spent your last turn aiming, right? Yes. So I will say that you've got one advantage right now. Okay. That feels fair to me.

Yeah. Like, you got there. You spent your turn locking in, so we'll call that aiming as opposed to just firing from the hip. It's up to you, Trudy, and I guess where Francis is, I run, I grab the dagger, and I go, take the shot, Trudy, and I put it in your arms, and then I bend down into the fucking viscera that was once Blake, and I pull up two, once, once golden guns, dude, crimson red, and I say, I don't say anything, because I just, I just, I run towards the bison with the guns. Okay, so you're ready to charge at the bison, okay, great. So does that mean that Trudy is now closest to mother? Yes.

Yeah, but she goes before mother, so she can shoot before. Oh, God, please don't take the chance. All right, whatever. You guys do what you want. We got one advantage, too. Give. I know, but it's still like, have you ever tried to flip three heads in a row? It's really like sometimes we'll just go ahead, 10, that, right?

I think I may have misunderstood the chances of doing this. No, no, no, no. Initially, it's a 50-50. Yeah. And then since you spent a whole term aiming instead of fire. Two-goes of getting heads, essentially. So, yes, basically, the odds are if you were, like, trying to hit heads, and you flip twice and didn't get a heads. Which is very possible.

Yeah. I know it's still extremely possible. I think it's very possible that Mother kills us all before we can do anything else. It's also pretty fucking funny if we just lose. Yeah. You just think you got to take the shot. I mean, I have a thing I can do that will guarantee. If everybody survives and the knife isn't destroyed by the time it gets to me, I can save the world.

And you're right after mother? I am right after mother. But does it involve the dagger? Because you can just do it after we fail the shot then. If you fail the shot, then the juice is gone. Yeah. Regardless, the Bisons need to go. Yeah.

So the Bisons are going to go now. So they are going to do their Constitution saving throws again. Okay, and they both passed. So you've got the ones in the middle and the ones in the front. And they see me bloody with two pistols running. Yes, and you are charging at them. So yes, I'm going to say that for the moment, they're going to focus their rage on you, Kelsey.

Because they don't really understand what's going on with Trudy. And they're like, what is this robot thing? This is fucking weird. These two groups, so it's five in one and eight in the other. I'm going to make them one group of 13 now are going to fucking descend on you and they're going to try to tackle you down to the ground again. We're doing another fucking dive tackle. So we're going to give them an advantage to dive tackle roll.

What are you going to? Are you going to dodge? I guess that's pretty much what you have to do. Yeah. Or you could fight back. Yeah, but again, just to clarify, the rules of fight back is that you take the punches. I'll give you if you wanted to do a fighting maneuver against them. It would be to like, you're like a running back when he's got like six guys on them.

You could basically try to gut it out and stay standing if you want. I'll do that because just thematically because, you know, I know there's no fight back for guns, but I have guns. Yes. So they're coming at me. They try to tackle me. Kelsey tries to pull the triggers, but the guns are so wet with blood. They're just jamming and then she's a boxer. So she just tries to fight her way out of it.

Give me a fighting brawl role to be you're opposed for the... Luckily, my fighting brawl is much fair. Just normal pass, 51 out of 64. 51 out of 64. They failed. So yes, these guys are basically dogpiling you, but it's like at the end of the one with Jet Lee, where like all the other Jet Lees are trying to beat ass on Jet Leigh and he just fucking won't go down. You lie nobody's bitch.

And then nobody's a bitch. So you're just like, you're still standing in this pile of these guys at the end of this thing. Next turn, it will be time to eat. Beth. The table is set. It's Trudy's turn. I just take this shot. I don't know what I am.

Did Anthony DM you his thing? Anthony did DM me. It is a good idea, but because it involves sacrifice. that Trudy would not accept. I think that Trudy is just going to take the shot. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Anthony. I just don't see a surviving another mother attack.

And I get that Anthony's better at games than I am, so I'm probably making a bad decision. This was the plan, and we voted on it. You guys voted on it. I was out voted. This will just be more proof that democracy doesn't work. It's fine. Okay.

Also, who says this plan would 100% work? My plan would 100% work. I don't think it would. because I, well, I don't think you would survive it. So, and I don't care about that. Yeah, I know. That's because you're Anthony. We're talking to France.

B, if you miss Timmy dies. Oh, my God. But if he misses Timmy dies too. I'm not going to miss. Because what do you have a six years? There's no. Being a little scam. Being a little fucking scamp.

I will point out one thing, which is that. Nobody knows what Francis is doing. We don't know what Francis's plan was, but if Trudy dies here, even if Mother empties the clip on Trudy, The dagger is still there. That's why it'll be fine. That is the other thing I would say. Even if Mother kills you, it doesn't mean that the game is over. Okay.

No, because if Mother kills her, we should have, I should just stab myself because we never took a shot. So it's just three people died trying to, yeah, Blake should have just stabbed himself. We are where we are. Oh, we got a more than 50-50 percent. It's up to you. Oh, sorry. This is like. Dang, Beth, we always putting it on you, huh?

Can Francis shout something? Sure. Timmy needs his mother. Yeah, Timmy needs his mother. And you need your team. And I need my team. I'm going to take the shot. All right.

Oh, my God. Give me a D-100 with advantage. Before that, you know, Trudy is aimed for the last, like, round or whatever. Yes. I think she takes, like, a beat to close her eyes, actually. Really just take it all in, you know? To take it all in.

Save her the moment. To save her the moment. moment. And I'm going to put you on the spot really quick, Will. Back early in the season, we did the episode where Trudy leaves Tucker. And Tucker said that Timmy wrote her a letter. Do you remember that? I do. Do you know what the letter said? Wow. He would have been like a little kid at the time. And do you think she read the letter? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. I think she was reading it when you got God, if I remember correctly. I think it just said, like, dear mommy, I miss you so much.

Please come home. Okay. And now I'm going to roll. And so I'm trying to beat essentially a 60. A 50. A 50. But I get two tries to, yeah. It's below or above?

So we don't. Below. Okay. So, yeah, you're trying to get below a 50. Okay. Rule number one is a 92. Fucking hell. fucking hell

again dude oh no god not beth and colquithu clutching us again I'm gonna be so mad at myself if I have to be real kids no it's the thematically right decision did the real dice

yes we did all his not we're gonna let a child sacrifice himself in an uncertain world we are doing our best as a team we did this together bet it's not on you whatever happens we did it together

come of Francis we get a little bitch over there we get this with his magic and his bullshit bet it's you it's you It's you. Because the future's uncertain. We don't know.

Okay. All right. I'm re-rolling the tens digit. This merits real dice. Here we go. Wait, wait, Beth. You get to pick your dice. You got to pick a good one.

So you rolled a what the first time? 92. So you have to roll four. A zero through a four. A 10, a 1, a 2, a 3, or a 4. Or a 0. What is that? It's a 7.

The world ends. As this vortex of energy launches out of the blade, the first thing it does is just absolutely blast through mother herself. Like this beam of light, even just at a glancing blow, just shears half of her body off, and she just dissolves into a heap of bloody flesh. Oh, hell, yeah. On its way out, it takes the tent with it, and you find yourself in the night in Pitchieville once more. The Bisons are absolutely astonished. A quiet falls over you. you watch it disappear over the horizon and you wait and you remember from the calculations that von Neumann made for you that he said it would take about 30 seconds it's the longest 30 seconds

but the next 30 seconds are even longer as the horrible sinking feeling falls over you and you realize that you failed and with one last shuddering groan and the sky that could only be the release of this horrible thing. You know that because of what's happened tonight, every single living thing on the earth is going to die. Of course, you guys aren't the only ones to realize this. You slowly become aware of the bison standing behind you, the last ones left. At first, despair plays on their faces as they realize that all of their plans. All of their striving and scheming was for naught. They stare at you

with empty horror in their eyes. Then a look of grim resolve comes over at them. They glanced to each other. Then as one, they draw their daggers, raise them, and slit their own throats.

Oh. You hate to see it. And you watch as one by one these bodies crumple to the ground and a pool of blood soaks your feet. as you stand in the night with a starry sky above you and a doomed world beneath you. However, all things take time, and as we all know, a human pregnancy takes about nine months. Turns out an outer God's pregnancy, birthing inside a world takes a little bit longer, nine, nine, ten,

months. And the world has that much time to come to grips with what's about to happen to it. What's starting to happen to it. A strange lingering aura hangs over the planet as there's denial, there's grief, there's despair. As civilization starts to break down, people turn to religion, people turn to sex, people turn to drugs. And some people just try to stick it out and keep on living and hope that it will never happen, that the world is not going to one day very, very soon be consumed and that all life on it will be absorbed into something new and strange and horrifying. Among the people who refuse to give up are Beebe and Milton, who become like their own little plucky Mulder and Scully duo. They decide they're going to dig in and they're going to find

a way to stop this no matter what it takes, because at the very least, if they can go out knowing that they tried everything they could, they're never going to give up. You hear tile of them from time to time as they're still out there plumbing the depths of strange crypts and solving supernatural mysteries up till the very end, that's what they've decided to focus their time doing, is just looking for something, anything, to help them find a way that even if the planet is doomed, that some part of humanity can live on, maybe there's some spell and some book that can teleport people to some other world. Maybe there's some way to go back in time, and they spend the next nine months in an obsessive, frantic way. It's looking for that one small miracle. Francis,

what do you do? The first thing Francis does is probably go tell Shane. everything that happened that Francis did and that happened to Shane's dad. Weirdly under better circumstances that would probably make Shane want to seek some kind of vengeance on you. But here at the end of the world

it hardly seems to matter. And if anything, he kind of respects you for copping to it. And he knows that because of your past with him that the things were what they were. He can even find it in his heart

to forgive Kelsey or he thinks he can if he works at it. And you've finally made friends with a boy your age. So you, after you tell him everything that you did, he's kind of inspired to open up to you as well and tells you about his plans for the end of the world, which he's like, I don't know if you want to come with me, Francis, but I heard about this monastery where a bunch of guys are going to go live in the woods and like contemplate God until the end comes, you know, and just kind of like

be in the forest and be with nature. So that's what I'm planning to do if you want to come along. Like, you know, it's going to be an arduous journey to get there. You sure you don't want to like spend it with your mom? Oh. Damn. Damn, dude. Damn, dude.

Yeah. Well, you have a mom, you know? Yeah, man. We haven't really talked in a while. We both lost a lot. But, yeah, maybe you're right. You're a good dude, Francis. And he gives you a thumbs up.

Are you walking back to town? Because I'm walking that way. If you want to walk with me. No, I'm just going to stay here for a while. All right. Well, hey, if I don't see it, then I'll see you. Yeah.

He, like, goes to hug you, but then decides not to because he feels like you don't want to hug, and then he turns and walks away. And this is how men show each other affection. Just two guys, not really saying what they think. This is how men get close to one another. No wing glances.

Just two guys! They went through a lot. Could be homies, or maybe not. Holy shit, he's cooking. Francis then goes to Timmy and tosses a sword at his feet. Okay, I guess that will transition us to Trudy and Timmy. How do Trudy and Timmy spend the next nine months? I think Trudy's first inclination is...

frankly to run away. You know, she's just condemned the world to death. And I think that would be a pretty heavy burden to carry. But in knowing that this is her last chance, I think this time she's not going to run away. And I think she's going to spend the next nine months making up for lost time. Timmy, for what it's worth, knows that you did your best and he's proud of you. Timmy knows that you didn't throw your life away that you tried to save the world and everybody in it even when it came down to just four people just your friends he knows that took a lot

he's like that took a lot of guts mom that took a lot of balls so you know hell yeah and I think she wants to teach Timmy how to bowl oh I like that there's abandoned bowling alleys plenty you are on our team anymore or Tony we need it fourth you need a fourth for your team that's true that's right and just like you all

forgot about the heroism of one Blake lively. Oh, no. Yeah, he died to save the, uh, no one. So too, did the whole town neglect to attend the funeral? What? No. Well, I feel like we would be there.

I ask this to the group. In the middle of the world falling apart, what did you guys do to grieve Blake? And then did Blake have anything like in his will about how he should be buried that they would have found? Oh, that's good. You know where I think Blake is? Blake is at the tomb of the forgotten soldier. In Washington, D.C.

Yeah, we got rid of the existing forgotten soldier. Put you in there. We forgot about him. That was it. Blake's will was remove the forgotten soldier and put me in there. I want to clarify it that it's the unknown soldier. There's no tomb to the forget. That's true.

Now there is. But now you know who it is, and it's Blake lively. I mean, I think we held one. You could decide what you had in your world. Here's what I think it was. Everyone forgot. It was Beebe. My true friend, Bebe, who said, wait a minute, everyone, we're not.

properly mourning the depth of the one hero of this whole adventure, Blake Lively. I feel like what I'll say is this, is that B.B. was the executor of your estate, so she would have had your will and would have been able to arrange the funeral to your specification. So what was the funeral you had in mind? It was a somber affair, a ceremony befitting both a war hero and a hero hero. That's right. There are two different kinds of heroes in this world. It was in the center of town. There's the park in the center of town. There's the park in the center of town, and you could smell the McDonald's, as Blake always wanted.

And I think it was a sparsely attended affair because, again, everyone's got their own thing going on. So maybe just the motley crew of everyone here at it. And I requested very specifically a 21 gun salute. No, a 22 gun salute. So that way everybody can have two guns. Yes, 22 guns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the 22 gun salute. A 22 gunata salute. I leave it to Bibi to try and figure out the logistics of finding 22 guns to shoot. Well, we have a lot of unused derringers. I think Trudy went a step further and redid the gutters at the bowling alley and dedicated them to Blake because Blake dealt in gutters all the time.

Wow. I think Kelsey, she was part of the 22 gun salute, she took hambrister's guns. Amberster, not with an age. Ambrister's guns. And when nobody's looking, I think, you have an open casket, right? What? No. He was a puddle.

He's a puddle to do. We're like, Beebe, Bebe, Open Casket was a wild choice. He's all dried out and grusty now. It's just like a tub full of soup. He looks just like he's sleeping. I dropped the two guns into that tub full of soup. Yeah, I say, I hope you have some fun shooting those in the big gun range in the sky, buddy. And then one of the guns floats up because there was a little air and it kind of like spins around.

It looks like it's giving you a thumbs up as it slowly bubbles in. to this Campbell's suit of what remains. Well, how about Francis? You were like his best friend, kind of, right? You two were like both guys. I couldn't have put it better myself, Matthew. Is Francis doing one of those like cloaked mystery man at the edge of the funeral kind of moves? Do you know what I mean?

I was literally about to say like he's sort of leaning up against slash behind a tree in the distance to the point where you think Francis didn't show up. But then as you leave, you sort of catch sight of him. And he's going for mysterious, but it just kind of comes off this creepy. be like he's going to do something to the corpse after you leave. And by the way, Francis, Francis, next to him stands another guy in a cloak and a thing. It's like, oh, you hear that guy, sorry.

I'm not with that guy. Bibi hired me to be the guy standing. Are you doing a pro bono? Fuck off. Oh, okay. There were two mysterious guys, well, think about that. Think about that. That doesn't happen over time.

Chew on that. Okay, this is good actually. It's behind the second guy. and an even farther off tree looking over everything. Unbeknownst to any of you, there's a little cat named Marbles. Marbles looks down at the somber scene, a tear in his heterochromatic green and red eyes.

Probably not a tear. He stares, and he blinks, and he's gone. He disappears. Oh, no, what happened to Marbles? All the cats are magical. He must have had such a time. Anyway, so back in the bowling alley, y'all are getting ready to roll up a frame.

You guys have jury-rigged an abandoned bowling alley to learn how to practice when a familiar face slithers through the door. Oh, my God. I feel like I would be like on a dude. It's still disgusting. A, I think I would be on a dude. B, I think at this point, Francis would have gotten a cloak so people didn't have to look at him.

Oh, oh, that's cool, like a cloaked wanderer kind of thing. All right, sick. A cloaked wanderer comes through the door. So you throw a sword at, Timmy's feet. He's like, Francis, is that you, man? I told you, you got your shot. I'm good, dude.

Just bring it in. And he goes for a hug. Francis just doesn't hug him back, but he also doesn't move or move away from the hug. Okay, so he hugs you and then he knees you in the balls. He says, all right, now we're even. Now you're going to fucking roll a frame with me or what? Come roll a frame, Francis.

Okay. It's funny that you just need a dead guy's balls. Yeah. We don't know if he was dead when Francis absorbed him. Francis pretends that it hurts even though he was the balls of another guy. Francis goes, oh no, wow, that's my most sensitive part. You really got me, kid. And then Francis goes and writes his name onto the bowling card as a new player and sits down and joins the rotation.

Kelsey, tell us about the nine months in Kelsey World. Yeah, I think similarly, she's given herself some grace and feels the weight of perhaps failing this saving the world. But also, I think she spends her nights and the times as she can, hopefully. Watching Murder, Murder, Murder, with Trudy. Yes, of course. Are they still making new episodes? Some reruns. Oh, yeah.

They're also good the second, third, fourth time. Yeah. Especially when you know who did it. They're literally written to we watch three times. It's like this time you guys are the murder murderers. And then since Brian's dead, there's an opening in the library and she keeps a library open. The world may be ending, but you should learn until the last of your days. And she doesn't know when exactly when the last of these days are, but I mean there's no reason to learn.

You learn for the sake of learning. because it's something that, you know, makes you whole. How far into the encyclopedia does she get? Oh, she stopped trying to write her own encyclopedia. In fact, now she spends the time reading the books that she's been wanting to read. But more importantly, she keeps the library open. She, you know, teaches classes for whatever people are interested. I know a lot of people are going crazy.

A lot of people are running away, but there's still somebody who's willing and wants to learn she's willing to teach. And Trudy's catching up on all the books that Timmy likes so much. I've been reading that Shamoo, fella. Camoo, Mom, God. Oh, yes. I keep telling you over and over again and you keep forgetting how to pronounce it. It's a sort of Sisyphian task that I have. But you know what?

Tim, you know, Thursday nights open for like a reading session. Do you like to teach a class on your shamoo? What was it? Oh, Timmy, would you like to be a teacher? I don't know that the world needs more existentialism right now, guys. What is existentialism? Oh, well, what is existential? Boy, oh boy, Miss Grammer, let me tell you.

Life passes on in this way over the next couple of months. and then one day all of you wake up with a moth on your nose and as the moth senses that you're awake Kelsey if you're in your apartment you see it flutter to the door

Trudy likewise you see it once it realizes you're awake it picks itself up and glides to the nearest door Francis I don't know where you're hanging out these days but the same goes definitely not in my empty house with my mom and dad dad I would like to think that you came and lived with Trudy you

I think if you invited Francis, he would probably do that. Yeah. Oh, did you? Of course. Right away, I'm sorry I condemned the world to death. Please come live with us. These moths fly to the door of your house, and it lingers there,

waiting almost as if it was waiting for you to follow it. I do. So all of you link up, and this moth sort of sits on the dash of your car as it leads you towards the east coast of the United States through a sort of like dead and dying world. The sky is getting redder, strange mutations are starting to happen to the vegetation all around you.

Whatever is happening, whatever is going to happen to this world, it's going to happen any day now. Some areas are more affected than others. Like, you drive fast through some parts because you see, like, trees are merging into each other. You swear you see a face melted into the side of a building and watching you. Just the lanescapes getting more and more brutal and surreal. I think Trudy is talking to the moth, telling the moth the story of her late-lover moth man,

and how much he did for her and the world. You drive in this fashion all the way to you get to a beach on a ragged coast to the Atlantic Ocean, and you see a boat waiting there. And next to the boat, you see Beebe and Milton. They brought their bikes. How did you get to the boat? They've just been kind of like camped out, like, you know, like dozing on the beach. And when they look up, their faces light up.

And Milton like hits Beebees like, see, I told you they'd come. I told you they'd come. And Beebe kind of eyes you guys a little cautiously. Bibi, as it turns out, has been, after finding out, Kelsey, that you murdered Big Shane and that you shot Shane in the leg, Frances, she's just her view of you has become more complicated. Do you know what I mean? She grew up when she heard about that. She grew up a little.

After finding about some of the stuff that you guys had done and also just being heartbroken at the fact that you failed, that she looked up to you guys as infallible adults and that you're in this ruined world. It's not that she would turn her back on you, but she regards you a little more coldly than she used to. you approach this boat and you see that, again, they followed their own moth here and then the moths

sort of fly onto the boat and invite you to get on. Okay. Let's get on. I'll get up with you. I do B.B. Milton, what's up with the moths? So Milton talks to you. He says, I don't know, Kelsey.

I woke up at home and B.B. was, you know, fell asleep at the office again at the supernatural PI office that we run. It's pretty cool. You should come by sometime. Yeah. Does it have cockroaches? Some offices have cockroaches.

Yeah, it's got a couple. And they're, you know, they're pretty weird now, as everybody knows. the cockroaches were the first ones to get pretty weird. They talk. They talk. We've got a secretary who's a cockroach. I'm really proud of you having your own business and everything you've been doing. Yeah, it's too bad. Like in a couple of days, we're all going to die though, right? So that's a good name. Say that again. Say that again.

But yeah, we just woke up and each of us, there was a moth waiting for us. And we just, you know, moths being moths, we decided to follow them. And here we are. So the moths lead you onto this boat and you sail deep into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Just day after day out on the. open sea until they all of a sudden come to a stop in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and you wait for a moment the moths seem to circle around a singular point you're in the middle of fucking nowhere it's just empty sea for miles around cold gray sea point nemo kind of a point nemo situation underneath you you hear first like a faint pinging noise like a sort of like strange pulsing sound

and you look down and you see a glow deep down in the bottom of the ocean pulsing as well. And you realize that this is the spot where mothman's ship sank. Oh. And something down there, something deep, deep below, it seems to be reacting to your presence here, reacting to the moths, and it's making a pulse. For hours, nothing seems to happen. But then one by one, you notice that more and more moths seem to be drawn to this spot. And they seem to be converging. It's almost like every moth on earth is being drawn.

onto this strange light soon they're swarming the sky in a vortex it's almost like the sky itself gets blotted out and then you see a ship above you descending and it's the same kind of bulbous sinuous semi-living form as the ship that mothman had that you flew on originally but it's much much bigger and it descends and all these moths fly up into the sky towards it and it comes lower and lower towards you and then a hatch on the side of it opens and inside you see like 20 moth creatures like mothman, his people. 20 hatties, you mean? Women, men, moth teens, moth children,

and all of these moths flood into the ship like they're being welcomed home. You see their big glowing eyes stare at you and sort of regard you for a second. And then one of them steps forward and offers his hand. What should we do? I mean, should we, should we just?

Should we just? It's a whole universe out there. well mom is this is what i think it is are they telling us to go with them i don't know well whatever you want to do i'll do it okay like i know it's scary out here but obviously things are not going great down here but it's it's up to you mom i trust you so francis is going to say i know i at least am tempted to blame myself for what happened and think that therefore you should be punished and that that's somehow even the scales but spending the last nine months with you and thinking over things and considering, you know, ending things early and then not doing it because, you know,

I got to go bowling with you guys. I think maybe the most important thing now is that you keep going if you can. And it looks like we can. And that doesn't mean we're forgiven for what we did and it doesn't make us, you know, cowards. I don't think. I think it just means Timmy needs a mom. Kelsey needs people to teach. I'm also there. Francis, you just graduated my class. Yeah. That's why I've been teaching you this all the time. Oh, so you intentionally threw the shot, so I would learn this.

It was great. I think the only thing better than spending the last nine months of my life with my family would be to spend more time with my family. Yeah. It's, I mean, this world's doomed. But like you said, if we have a chance, we should take it. and I don't know what's going to happen next, but I can't imagine going on without you guys, so. So you guys all step onto the ship?

I guess, yeah. So as you walk onto the ship, you notice that two people are not going with you, Milton and Bibi. I'm going to grab them forcefully and drive them on the ship. Bibi shoves you away as hard as she possibly can. Don't you fucking touch me, Francis. I'll fight her if I have to.

Milton pushes against you, says, Hey, man, look, you want to go, that's your thing. But we're not giving up on the earth, okay? And you don't have the right. You don't have the right to tell her what she can or can't do. So you got a problem with her? You got a problem with me, Mr. and he puts his fists up and he's not aiming anywhere near you, but he realized that he is dead serious about what he's saying. Francis looks back at the others for guidance. Kelsey is

going to walk forward and she's going to kneel down in front of Milton and BB who are howled. They were 12. We'll say that since the world was doomed, Milton has had one of the saddest birthdays of all time and is now 13. Oh, that's a tough one. That's tough one. Kelsey is going to look at Beebe and Milton. Bebe Milton, I think that's really brave, and I get why you're doing it, but I just want you to think for a second. It's not about giving up on the earth.

We sacrificed everything to try to save it, and it's gone. We're not giving up. We're not giving up. I'm going to go back there, and I'm going to keep fucking looking. You don't know that there's not a way. You don't know that there's not a way, Kelsey. You don't know anything. No. You're right. I don't know everything. But I do know

some things. And I know that we failed. nine months ago and there's no way to stop it and that's true. You don't know that. You don't know that there is in a way. So look, you don't know what's out there. You want to go do whatever.

You want to run away again. You want to turn your back on everyone again. Knock yourself out. But me, I'm staying. I understand. And I'm not telling you what to do. I respect and I think it's really brave that you want to keep looking. I'm just telling you what I think and what I know. And just know that there's people that love you here. It's not cowardly to want to come with us, but if you want to go, you know, I respect that too.

Just, I've lived a long time, and I'm just letting you know that I would love it if you could join us. You've spent the last nine months with the weight of the world on your shoulders. Yeah, well, who put it there, huh? Who put it there, Trudy? I did. And wouldn't it be nice to just take that weight off for a little while? BB just sort of looks at all of you

and like one by one she goes up and shakes each your hands he says I hope you find what you're looking for out there and she says come on Milton and she turns to kind of sit back down and fire up the engine of the boat and it starts it rumbles to life I hold my arms out for Milton because you know I look at it's like hey just because whatever she says is your decision too

five of my hands out and I go for a hug for Milton Milton hugs you tighter than he's ever hugged anyone in his life. And he holds on really, really tight. And I say, so you're going to keep searching. Yeah, that's what we're going to do. We're going to keep looking. Okay.

And then I'm going to hold their two hands and I'm going to turn around to Francis and Trudy. And I say, you guys have a great trip. But these kids still need a teacher and there's still people here. So Kelsey is going to walk back with them. Now let them go alone. Okay. So Kelsey, you step into the boat then.

And Bibi looks at you kind of astonished. And Milton just cries and hugs you. And he says, thank you. Thank you. No, of course. I will look at Francis and I don't know what to say. I go, I'm sorry, Francis. This is where I belong and you still have so much more to do.

You're looking into the dark void of a cloak. Yeah. But you see the figure inside of it just silently nods. I have to take care of Timmy. You're going to be a great mom. And there's so much more for you to do too. I know. and I

and I want to me to have a great life and I just want the best for him and I need to keep him alive so I'm going to go with the moths can you promise me one thing what when you go to Moth Planet or whatever if they have schools

let a teacher teach to me Francis throws his arms out like, really? Really? Really? Right now, that? Only for you, Kelsey. Only for you. I hug, Trudy.

I hug Kelsey. And when I'm hugging her with my tripod robot arm body. I forgot your, we can say you got a normal robot body by this point if you want. No, I'm just sticking with it. Okay. Yes. You know, like, five hand hugged as you get. Yes, you do notice it's five hands instead of four.

Because Trudy hands you one of the arms that has the sigil carved into it. Oh, yes. So, yes, this was when you were plummeting through the air. It was the last time you were at this exact spot in the ocean. And after pressing one of your many moles. I gained a secret spell. Oh, yes, that's right. We never found out what the spell was.

We never found it out. And that's why I brought it up right now. Yes, you got a secret spell and you carved a mysterious. ruin into your oh this is just like the rabbit's foot mission impossible do who knows what that fucking spell does you carved it into this arm and since then it hasn't really done anything no i thought that i um i could you know once we had like shot the big dick in the sky i thought it could prevent the dick from coming back or you know closed earth off from the rest of the world or the universe or whatever but i uh i didn't really get a chance to use it it

It's the sigil for the elder sign spell, and I thought that once we, you know, killed the big dick in the sky, that it could shut off the gate to other things and keep the world safe. Yeah. Oh, my God. There's got to be something with this, right? I mean, Milton, Bibi, look at it. You guys are, I don't know what you guys have been researching, but is this anything? Bibi just snatches it from you and, like, goes to stare at it. And she's, like, look, and it's like, Elder sign.

We read about this in that book, you know, which one? Oh, yeah, the book of sudden and strange things. The book of sudden and strange things that had a sign like this. But wait, if we go back, all right, we got to go back to the library. We can look at this and then, you know, maybe there's some way to use this ruin and sort of reinterpret it in a different medium. Francis looks at Kelsey to see if Kelsey thinks this is actually. No, Kelsey hearing Milton and Beebe, you know, excited and trying to figure it out, like, as a smile, but looks at Trudy with a knowing nod. Two things.

One, with a, I'm not going to see you again. Yeah. And we know this is not going to work. but also with the gratitude that only a teacher can feel when you've given them an activity that will keep two kids busy for a five-day boat trip. So thank you. And yeah, I'm sure I'm sure this is going to help, she says, to Francis and Trudy. But yes, her face is very much, it's goodbye.

It's not going to help. No one can see it, but Francis opens his mouth. And he doesn't say, good luck. And he doesn't say, I love you. And he doesn't say I'm secretly always going to hate us. us and you for doing the earth. But he does say, go get that butter, Kelsey.

Yeah. And with that, the door to the ship slides shut. The three of you feel the wind blast off of this thing as it silently shoots up into the sky in an alarmingly fast rain. You watch it as the ship becomes smaller and smaller until it's a little black dot, and it vanishes from sight.

And from your perspective, Trudy and Francis, is the exact opposite. You're on the earth one second looking in Kelsey's eyes and then this door shuts and out the portal of the ship you watch as the earth gets smaller and smaller

turning into that pale blue dot and then vanishing from sight as you head off into parts unknown. And back on the earth as the end of days approaches and strange colors swirl in the sky and the sea churns and royals. Two kid detectives

and their teacher head out on the ocean water, bobbing up and down, ready to face whatever comes. ever wanted was to fear Southern in the world that lies twisted in my mind and now all gone All I can see is a hole in the stars

following my dream and making them into scars Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Brother won't you hold me Show me Who to be All I ever needed If I get to heaven, will they have my grand? Please don't hate the only mind of God. All I can see is a hole in the stars,

swallowing my dreams and making it to stop. The years that took off with those dreams of tomorrow are strangers through looking glad. No matter the intention it's a mother of invention that everything must have. Matthew Arnold and I played Kelsey Grammer. My name's Anthony Birch and I played Francis Farnsworth. My name's Beth May and I played Trudey Trout. My name is Freddie Wong and I played Tony Collette and

Blake Lively. My name is Will Campos and I was the game master. My name's Maxton Waller and I wrote the theme song All in the Stars as well as Big Shane Silva. My name is Anisa Omeran and I was the producer. My name is Ashley Mickelette and I was the community manager. I'm I'm Courtney Terry. I'm the community coordinator. I'm Cindy Denton, and I'm the merch manager. My name is Esther Ellis, and I've been the lead editor. My name is Travis Reeves. I am an editor and sang on the intros of episodes 35 and 37. I'm Omar Romolino, and I provided additional editing.

My name's Brian Fernandez. I was a producer and provided additional editing. Thanks so much for listening to Season 3 of Dungeons and Daddies. Our 2025 Black Friday sale is going on now until Friday, December 5th, 20% off most items and some new items, the most premium offerings we've ever had, an incredibly soft custom flannel and warm beanie bundle up, get cozy, they're very comfortable. In addition, the new limited edition Beth American Apparel pre-order is up for a Beth Design T. See it all at Dungeons and Dads.com and click store at the top of the page. Shout out to our Patreon supporters who directly support this show.

people like Piedab, Spriggings, Jan Howgarud, Kriegerin, Johnny Lee, Torgo, Christopher Carlson, Fourth Reaper, KVG, Torrish, Bobby Rogers, Ace Hudson, Caden McGrath, Samantha Martold, Jay Bird, Joseph Greenland, Cheb, Joshi Hyslop, Gameraez, Matthew Paris, and Brooke. Our next episode's December 16th, we'll give you a peek behind the Patreon curtain with our postseason after show, The Peach Pit, which will cover all the madness of this season. You won't want to miss it. Thanks again. We'll see you in two weeks. All I can see is a hole in the stars. My name's Anthony Birch and I played Francis Farnsworth and one of Tony's dads. My name is Matthew Arnold and I played Kelsey Grammer and Matthew Arnold and one of Tony's dads. Yeah.