Dungeons and Daddies - S4 Ep. 11 - A Song of Fire and Ice

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

ai psychosis signs is ai psychosis okay ai psychosis cute sorry i meant cure this kyeboard has no backspace i meant keyboatdThis episode contains Profanity, Violence, Sexual Content and discussion of Suicide.If you are struggling or need extra support, please see the resources below:• A warmline is a phone number you call to have a conversation with someone who can provide support during hard times. Find a warmline at WARMLINE.ORG• If you are in crisis and a warmline can’t provide the level of support you need, you can reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or using the chat box at 988lifeline.org• Here is a tool to find international crisis phone and chat linesTo sign up to follow our sourcebook Backerkit Campaign starting July 21st (and to secure a sick bumpersticker), go to bookmedaddy.comSupport the show on Patreon!Get merch and more at our website!Follow us on Bluesky @dungeonsanddads!Check out the subreddit!DM is Anthony BurchDale Elliot is Matt Arnold Ralph Estarellas is Will CamposHerb “The Worm” Quiggly is Beth May Ashley Birch is Freddie Wong Theme song is “Conventional Wisdom” by Maxton WallerAnnissa Omran is our Content ProducerAshley Blood is our Community ManagerKortney Terry is our Community CoordinatorEster Ellis is our Lead EditorTravis Reaves and Omar Romolino provide Additional EditingCover art and episode art by Alex Moore (@notanotheralex)Get in contact: https://www.dungeonsanddaddies.com/contactThe story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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That could go either way. Bookmedaddy.com. B-O-O-K-M-E-Daddy.com. Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Oh, oh, God. Oh, oh, finally. Hello, yes, I'm getting jerked off by a...

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Did you know? Our embroidered backpacks also jerky wall. Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies. Or perhaps we should say grandpaws and galaxy. A grand space opera about four gilfs who take to the stars to rescue their grandkids and probably the entire known universe in the process. You can't win them. You can't win them all.

Some of their grandkids. D&D. 5E. We're putting the dark and dark matter on this one. Nice. My name is Freddie Wong and I play Ashley Birch. Ashley like the tree. And Birch with an E.

Wait. What? No. No. But what if there was? But what if it was backwards like that? What is a crazy mirror out of the universe? Ashley with an eye, Birch with a D.

Oh, God. Born in 64, this makes Ashley Burch the youngest boomer. He's a Twin Galaxies era, gadgeteer, arcade pro gamer turned Twitch streamer, proving that age is just a number. A mindset, if you will. Ashley's... What is happening? I don't know.

I think about his fact in real time, which means that processing cycles are being diverted. Freddy's frame rate is. dropping. Like in Nintendo 64. It's like a one-person version. Like he doesn't even eyes. He's like those guys that are popular now where their stamp comedies, but all they do is they take like four things and then they rap.

You know it? And like Frank does that by like to himself. Nobody else hears the prompts. It's just freestyle. Sorry. What the fuck are you talking about four things and they rap? Wait. Yeah.

No, you showed us a video of that. Yeah. There's actually really like two guys that do that. There's just two guys. That's right. Stand-up thing so much as it is. You see two good things online. That's a trident at this point.

Remember we had two of things? He had a Best Buy and a Circuit City. Yeah. They used to have one. Borders, bars, and noble. Oh, man, yeah. You should be a stand-up comment. We should have two of things.

See, he's two of things. Nowadays, this is only one. Wait, what about toys or us, Matt? Toys are us and the other toy store. KB toys. KB toys. There used to be two of everything. Guys, we live in the cyberpunk dystopia.

There's five corporations. Oh, my God. Ashley's fact for this week, Ashley believes. You've had enough time now. That human consciousness is determined by its outputs. It's, you can, you can, you can, you can save someone by if they're, you know. No, no. Please.

Please continue. Are you arguing that. Are you familiar with the Chinese room experiment? Explain it for our audience. The Chinese is defined by its outputs. Is a thought experiment, which is the idea is that you're locked in a closed room. You don't understand Chinese. And then through the door.

Many people do, most people. Most people arguably. You are past a series of notes that have just Chinese characters on. And then you have a giant rulebook in English of like what to do with Chinese characters and how to respond to them. And then you looking at those and just kind of following the instructions, pass back outputs through the slot. And the question is to the person outside, do you know Chinese? Or are you just following a very complicated set of rules and just, you know, pushing stuff out? In this thought experiment, Ashley Birch believes you do know Chinese.

Interesting. Okay. Okay. So Freddie is setting himself up to some interesting, thematic concerns in this episode with an AI version of his grandson. Oh, okay. Okay. Hey, everybody. My name is Matthew Arnold.

I play Dale Elliott, a stretchy ex-lifeguard, World Cruise, loving, grandpa, who's now trying to live his best monk life. What do everyone, father of four? It's just a monkey to Luffy life. Yeah. Father of four, grandfather, seven, and friend to all. Dale's big fan of hearing. He loves hearing.

Controversial. A little fact before the fact. Isn't it? Yeah, do it, do it, do it. Here's another little tie-fine for you, Beth. Okay. How come ears, along with the noses, is one of the things that keeps getting bigger as we get older, but our hearing gets worse. That's weird.

Do ears and noses get bigger? Yeah. They keep growing. They keep growing. That's insane. They keep telling lies. Yeah. Your hearing gets worse.

Maybe it's because your hearing gets worse. Your ears are like, hey. We do more. Look at them. They're leaning in. My stand up likes to provide interesting tidbits, too, for you to talk about on the drive home. I'll just laugh. I think it's talk afterwards.

That's what I provide. Matt Arnold, live in Indianapolis. Don't just laugh. Think on the way. Allegedly, they're not growing. They're sagging due to lack of cartilage and gravity. Oh, that's not fun.

Okay. Well, let me get. The fact was bullshit come up with a new one. Let me get out. That was the fact. That's the fact. I'm just going fast. I'm just going fast.

Okay. The best sound is the sound of the click clack of Batchy ball or lawn bowling. It's like billy or. but bigger, so it sounds great. And then the worst sound is the lack of sound when somebody's drowning, which a lesson before all you folks out there when you're drowning,

they usually don't scream or even splash for you. When you're drowning on stage during the middle of your tie five. Yeah. Hi, everyone. I'm Will Campos. I play Ralph Asterois, a sci-fi scribe slash wife guy

whose wife died. Oh, man. Slash sorcerer, comma, radiation. Freak. And a little Ralph fact is that teen sex was not the first thing that his wife and he collaborated on. But it was the first thing they did together.

Huh? They had sex with teeth. That was the joke. That's pretty good, man. I like that. Before they got their big break with teen sex, they got hired together to write the instruction manual for the 1990s edutainment game Ecosaurus.

Cute. Which case, the game where you play a little alien, it crashes on a planet and you got to recycle to build, repair your spaceship. Now, they did get fired from the job because, like, Ralph has never known an ability to edit anything. The whole thing turned into basically a novel-length first-person diagetic exploration of like a alien's humanity. They went deep.

They had pre-ordered the pamphlets they were going to print on, and they had to delete like a bunch of the text, which is where the notes section at the back of the book comes from. Because there was a bunch of extra pages that they were going to, they had to rewrite, and they had extra pages so they put a note. And then after EcoSourced it, every video game manufacturer. And then the rest is they say was history, my friends. Nintendo's Segio Mimodo was like, why are there notes at the end of this? Matt, do you have anything on why we don't have instruction manuals or games anymore?

Yeah, Matt, go for it. I'm working on that one. I'm not ready to share that material yet. I've been testing it out at open mics. The only instructions I need is to get good. That's good. Here's an instruction. Get a life.

Hi, I'm Beth May, and I play Herb the Warm Quigley, a young and heart barbarian storytelling grandpa who is losing the plot. Fun fact about Herb. This is actually a really cute like diva, brat cunt fact about her. What are we going to start doing cunt facts? That's great.

Is that Herb has memorized the time periods of each of the zodiac signs so knows like, you know, a certain date when, yeah. And it's also that when somebody's like, oh, my birthday's next week, that Herb can be like, oh, you're a Leo?

That fig is. and like, you know, just like... So Herb's a woman is the fact you're giving. Yes. What's Herb side? What is he? He will not share that information. What's his birthday, though?

When Matt does his game or joke, that's right? He will not share that information. I don't need your actual birthday, but if I was going to buy you a present, what day should I ship it for your birthday? Yeah, he'll take presents whenever. Your presence is present. I'm practicing my AI prompt, work around. Nice. That's come up with some pretty good tech.

I'm Anthony Burch. I'm your grandadmaster, and today's epic remf is the idea is to do. I young as late as possible. Ashley Montague. Or Montague, not sure. We didn't get a guess. I was going to say. I was going to say Ashley Montague is.

I was definitely going to say Ashley Montague. You know what sick is that quote? The first part of that quote would be such a sick thing to say to Carl Young. The goal is to die young. Do you expect me to talk? No, Mr. Young. He had me in the first half, but he lost me out of that second half. The goal is to die young.

That's it. It's a hard line. That's hard. Hard. Second one's like, I get what you're saying, whatever. That's what everybody wants. You didn't like the part where there's a point to it. Most quotes are better if you lose like a big part of the last half.

Hey, give you a good. Hey, how about this? Give me liberty. Yeah. Yeah. For sale, baby. All right. That is sadder. That's fucking played.

You got to need it better. I mean, it's sad. I have the number one. Unfortunately, our stop. My Bim Bam was already on that, fellas. Doesn't matter. I did it better. So when we last left you, you were on the stepmothership.

And you had, finally found your way into the black box room where all the information on what had happened to the ship is being kept. And within you found that a presumably AI version of your grandson, Tim, was speaking to you the entire time you've been on the ship. And you saw the corpse of a man who looked very similar to because he was in fact, your grandson. He was not sleeping. He had a blaster in his hand and a blaster burn against his temple. And you put two and two together quite well and assumed that he had killed himself. So what are you going to do now?

Not tell jokes. The AI, Tim, says, all I need you to do is take this drive, this black box drive, and take it to, well, I guess, the local IBS station. I understand you're probably emotionally really unmoored right now, but it's actually pretty important that you do this, please.

Oh, my God. Why? What's, what? Ashley, I'm so sorry. Here, somebody. cover it up. Somebody, somebody, somebody, just okay. Ashley is walking to the nearest corner and staring off into it.

Hands on his hips. No, just thinking. Okay. Is there anything I can cover the body with? Yes, there are tarps. All right, I drape a tarp over the body. And Ralph says a little prayer over it as well. I would love to get a prayer. It's just, you know, like a What was it the? Our father? Our father, who are in heaven? Okay. Okay. There's no

heaven out here. I'm so, Ashley. Where the hell are we? What are we doing out here, guys? You were presumably coming to save Tim Birch and if you can get... Oh, we cocked that up. Well, it depends on how one would, I guess, define... Who am I talking to?

An AI that has Tim Burch's memories more or less uploaded. Define. What does that mean? Define. Define that. What do you mean by has memories uploaded? What? Tim, before he did what he did his best to upload himself to this hard drive. The problem is obviously that the tech is not very reliable or honestly that consistently good.

I have a lot of his memories, but I assume some of the memories I have might be false. What's your name? Do you want to call me Tim? Tim, you're here. Okay, so you got two AI psychosis faster than anybody in recorded history. You transferred your consciousness into here. Tim.

Arguably. You transcended your shell, your meat self. I see you upload yourself to cyber space. But laws are just rules written by nerds. It's a very fair point. What do you need us to do, Tim? I think we should just let him... You just talk to the computer for a second, Ashley.

Boy, over here real quick. Tim, you've lost weight. So, Erb, you're suggesting that we just let him think that... I don't know. I've never been through the situation before. This is really hard, guys. I mean, it just happened. Tim, I got an idea for you.

Yeah? Let me run one by you. Okay. Let's see what this idea is, and then we'll talk. In the other room, there's some robots engaged in activities. Is there a poor... cable or something I could transfer you into one of these robots. You can walk around.

You can perambulate. You could be, you know, ambulatory. You walk around. I suppose so. Are you talking about a meat puppet or are you talking about an actual robot? Dealers choice, my man. Well, meat puppets don't work that way because they're people. Okay.

But, yes, I suppose you could, if you're referring to the Butler bot that was in the administrative office, I suppose you could upload me to that, yeah. Oh, man. I'll be right back, guys. What have we going to do with this? Bullet bot dies too. You know, robots can be, like, blown up and stuff, and then it's going to lose Tim again. Well, then I think we're basically back to where we started, and then at the very least then you have no...

I can be straightforward with you all because you don't seem to be emotionally compromised. You could just copy and paste me onto that thing. I could pretend that it's an upload if that makes it easier for my fake grandfather, but it would just be a copy paste. Tim, while we have you here, you know, kind of alone, I mean... This is awkward, but can I ask why he did it? I don't have a specific sense of exactly why, because he killed himself after he uploaded himself. But I know that when he uploaded himself,

he was feeling a great deal of shame and failure and regret and mourning. Pretty much what you'd expect. Beyond this part, just the black box thing. Yeah. Sounds like that's really important to him. But also sounds like a lot of people's lives are on the line and there's something we have to do, right? I will make the case for doing it.

Yeah. I know that you are not particularly friends of the IBS, but this black box includes all the experimental data that we recorded during what happened on this ship. And if we are going to ever try to perfect the night crawler drive, the gravity drive, then we're going to have to be able to get that data back to somebody that can use it. And in order to do what? In order to get to the spark before the luminous do. Okay. Should we check on? I think we got. He needs to be here for this. He needs to be apart. I feel bad having this conversation with him. Actually. I'm dragging in. the butler bot, I guess?

Yes, with its missing top half of its head. What happened to, are they still at it? Wait, who's being jerked off right now? Yeah. I managed to do an Oroboros sort of like hand around. I've never heard of that. It's oninism over there. Okay.

Where do I put port? Where cable? I'll light it up for you. And then one of the myriad of lights on these cabinet-sized computers lights up. Ashley, I'm sorry. I have to say my piece. No, this, I'm sorry. It just happened.

Hand me the cable. But this is because it just happened. means that it's important. This is not your grandson. This is a computer program. Your grandson died. Hold on. We can figure this out. Yes, he died. But his consciousness has been transferred into this thing.

I just, that's... And now, it's important to have a good backup plan. Three, two, one is what they always say. Three copies, two locations, one answer. Put it in. Ralph, I agree with you, but he literally cannot hear you right now. It's like a toddler.

He's hungry. He's angry. He's not listening. So he just got to let him. We will talk to him about it. This is an affront to everything sacred to the universe. Come on. I mean,

maybe it'll help him kind of understand. It won't. Once he real. But we can't talk about it now. But once he realizes it's not the real deal. When he realizes it, maybe we'll help him, it'll be a hard time. It will be there for him. Yeah.

But right now, hey, he's cuckoo. Watch this. Answering as Tim. Are you the real deal? Answering as Tim, yes, I am real. See, it's the real deal. Load yourself up, buddy. As you say that, the Butler Bot stands up

and sort of pass itself down, confirming that it doesn't, in fact, have a body, then paths the top of its jaw and confirming that it doesn't have the top of its head. We'll figure out of the head for you. I mean, so much for the Butler Bot gain sentience, and now we've just eradicated its own consciousness to replace it with this robot. So that's kind of a shame. I think it's still just an AI.

It's just all just lies, right? It's just still just a robot. It's just telling us. like watch like robot i command you to tell me that you're not a robot and you're sent in and you have a soul tim wouldn't do that sure you command i don't yeah tim can you tell me that i could certainly tell you that if you want me that yeah i could tell you that i'm not a i don't have a soul or i do have a soul what it yeah yeah yeah dale check this out oh i don't have a soul either look ah done okay all right you're just saying things we got tim here tim walk us through what you need us to do

kid. Actually, I don't need you to take me to an IBS facility. I just need you to take this black box and get me some sort of connection outside of the ship. Yeah, but you're coming along with us, bud. Uh, okay, I can. Space Adventure! It's on again! Ashley. Yes. So it sounds like we need to help this very important thing. Yes. With the AI of your grandson. Correct. Would you like to take a moment for us to bury the body of your grandson who did die, and that's why there's a body here. What would you like us to do with the body of your grandson? Well, I guess what do you do with, like, a used car

when you're done with it? Tim, what do you want to do? You could give it a burial in space. What would Tim want? Space burial! Hey, there's some escape pods. I saw one without pissing it. All right. Herb, can you help me with the young man here?

Ashley, so we're going to pick up your grandson. Yep. And put him into space. Yes. I was wondering if you wanted to say anything. Well, let's do it in the escape pod room. Come along. Okay.

You walk past the dad who is jorking the meat puppet, who is somehow jorking him. Don't look too closely. It's a lot of geometry there. That doesn't make any sense. You may get back to the escape pod room where, unfortunately, the corpses of his crewmates are still around. And the Timbot. Timbot. Timbot.

I am thankful I do not have eyes right now, but I can tell where we are. And he walks you through the three. process of opening up an escape pot and putting the body in. All right. If we pretend that the Tim bot wasn't here for some weird reason, what would you like to say to your grandson before we send him in a space? Yeah, okay. All right.

Well, everyone gathered here today. A momentous moment for my grandson, Tim, as he transitions to a new state of being, one that we don't even understand yet, but is incredible and miraculous all the same. Tim, what do you got to say to your old meet self? Answering as Tim. Yeah, yeah, I answering as Tim.

I half remember a quote about death is just like walking into another room, so maybe this is that situation. Oh, yeah. I feel very bad that my wife and all the people on this ship died. I'm currently kind of trying to isolate that. Yeah, yeah, Dana was Tim's wife. and I'm currently isolating the emotions from that just to make it easier for you.

Unless you want me to fully answer as Tim with all of his emotions, in which case, you know, this could get dark. I don't know if we got time for that. Yeah, that's fair. Tim. Timbot. Yes.

Check the pockets of old self, you know, just in case you don't want to lose your car keys or something, you know? Pat yourself down. Okay, here I go. The headless Timbot pats down the corpse of Tim and doesn't really find anything because he's in a space suit, so he was, you know, just ready to escape.

Well, you didn't need it. pat him down. You can see that. Anyone can see that. You asked me, and it seems like like you're in a position where I don't want to argue with you.

All right, so what button do we press now? Well, should we send his crewmates out too? If you want to, on our way out, I could open an airlock and deep pressurize everything. I would be like a shovel for that. Yeah, there's a lot of corpses here, and the only thing that really matters

from a diagnostic scientific point of view is the black box that I am now holding. And the Timbot raises its hand is kind of holding the black box that it ejected from the cabinet computer like a suitcase basically so if you want i can open all of the airlocks and depressurize everything and then they'll just sort of fly out of the ship into space tim transitioned is existence into you for a specific purpose right there's a reason yes which is take this black box ralph

i really need your help on this one because i'm very dumb we take this black box i'm also i lean in a whisperer it's like i think the only way we're going to help him is if we can get the robot to do what Tim wanted him to do, then maybe the robot will, like, go away or we can delete it or whatever it is, and then he'll have to deal with it. But I think we do the thing. Yeah, I think we should honor Tim's wishes.

And we're there for our friend, because when he realizes what really happened, it's going to get pretty wet and ugly. Ashley is just staring at Tim's body and be like, don't know this guy. A quick question for that. I guess primarily for you, Ashley, but to some extent, the group.

When I use the first person, do you want it to be I-Tim or I-V-A-I? When I reference Tim should it be in third person or first person? I see emerging consciousnesses. Well, Tim, Tim-Bot, AI Tim-Bot. Tim-Bot continued. Tim, Part 2. What name do you choose? What name do you choose for yourself?

I'm not really in a position to make you. Generate name, self. Tim. Tim. So Tim it is. I'd like to say one thing if that's all right. Yeah. And I'm not going to give anybody a hard time.

I just, a quote springs to mind, for everything exists. Oh, not that one, sorry. Oh, okay. I'm reading something. Just, okay. Yeah, yeah. To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. That's something Thomas Campbell said.

And it strikes me that. I like that first quote, just everything exists. Yeah. Why'd you have to make it worse? Well, okay, that first one was, If I remember correctly, for everything exists and not one sign nor smile nor tear, one hair nor particle of dust,

not one can pass away, which is William Blake. So I don't know. Well, I'm just trying to put a button on this in a way that I can not be sad about it when I think about it later. Thank you, Ralph. Thank you for sharing that.

And I like that William Blake quote. I mean, I like both of the quotes. They were very nice things to say about Tim. And Dale, would you like to say anything about Tim? Oh, I mean, Tim, who's here next to us in some form? Hi. Hi.

I think when Ashley is ready, he'll be grieving the man he never got to know. I didn't know you well, but it sounds like the last thing, or the thing he's still doing, looking over Ashley, was trying to do good for other people. I don't really understand it, but it's clear he was trying to help people. And I think I will honor that by trying to finish what it is that he started. Whatever it is that he was doing, I hope Ralph can explain it to me. I can explain it to the best of my ability. Well, let's wrap up this moment here.

And then I have a couple moral concerns. I need to ring my hands. Oh, yeah. Here's the it for the next 15 minutes. Herb, did you have anything you wanted to add before we commit this boy to the bosom of the infinite void of space? Yeah, I do. I think that's beautiful what you just said. I don't, you know, necessarily have that kind of way with words.

I just wanted to say to Tim, wherever you are, may you... Right here. Yeah, yep, there and here, and about to be amongst the stars. What are we but the descendants of stardust? And so you will be carried with us in our spirits and our hearts. So thank you, Tim, for being Tim. I would have slash did like that. Great.

So see, yeah. Okay, so should we just press this button here? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is that the only escape pod that works? Do we have a way out of here? Yeah. Okay, okay. I got really worried for one second.

No, no, it's fine, yeah. Okay. You all have the suits that you brought onto the ship and the airlock over there, so we can all just go back to the ship the way you came in here. How sweet the sound. Yes. Et cetera, et cetera. I hit the button.

Beautiful. You see the escape pod jettison from the airlock and then silently sail into the abyss of space in no particular direction. The direction is directly away from us. Yes, that's true. Like that shot in Star Wars. Just so you know, it's not heading towards like a planet or a moon or your ship or anything where it's going to collide. It just disappears into the space. It's like a space whale eat it on the way out like when they release like a otter.

Well, I mean, you do see scrap and wreckage like go for it. Oh, no, no. I'm going to have them roll. They immediately eat this. I know what to tell you. They got a three. They start jumping into it. I'll say they don't eat it.

I close the window. I close the window. That was an efficient way to dispose of some organic material. Yeah, it sure was, friend. I don't know if I'm going to be able to look at them the same way when I see them next. I thought they just ate scrap and wreckage. I mean, they didn't know. I guess we all are just scrap and wreckage in the grand scheme of things.

Hey, I like that. Yeah. I get smart with words too sometimes. It's pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. Not you. I can write no teen sex stuff. Or Dean sex, sorry.

Teen sex. We all board the ship, I presume? So we have the black box. You have the black box and you have Timbot. As you get close to the ship, you see scrap and wreckage come over. They go, hey, guys, what's up? Did you find something good? Yeah.

Hey, can we talk later, guys? Okay, no problem. Who's that? We'll talk later. It's fine. It's fine if you don't want to talk about it right now. Tim, those are scrapping wreckage. They basically clean up things around after us.

All right. What's up? It's kind of like when you see sharks? Sharks. Yeah. No, I'm actually kind of okay with. If I was back on Earth, I would have wanted one of those natural burials where it's just your body in the soil and then like animals, you know, feed on you and stuff.

Oh, you kind of got that. This is kind of that. It's not so bad. Wait, what body are you talking about? It doesn't really doesn't matter. Don't worry about it. The creamy center? We thought that was a new kind of tech.

So you get aboard the ship, and the Timbot says, if you're okay with it, I can use your ship's onboard communicator to basically reach out to the IBS. Can I ask you a question? Please do. What does the IBS plan on doing when they get to the spark? The honest plan is to figure it out once we get there. We go by kind of a move-fast and break stuff kind of mentality. That's how you get things done in this world, eh?

I think, you know, compared to the luminous and the hide mind or whatever, that seems pretty nice. I think it's certainly of the two options that have been presented to us, the better option. I reserve the right to wait for a shoe to drop. The high-level goal is to maintain status quo. What if nobody got to go to the spark? That would be fine. Oh, I mean, can't- Because then status quo would be maintained. Oh.

You are trying to be first mover because you're seeing them move and you try to get there before they do. Exactly. Yeah, there was something about a crowbar. Yes, both us and the luminous are building a crowbar to break through the event horizon separating our universe from the spark, which is on the other side of an impenetrable event horizon that even light cannot escape from. Oh. Because it's so dense. So just so that this dumb guy can understand. You're not dumb.

It's complicated. Well, we're old enough. We all remember. You know, I'm sure Ralph and her had some fun in the 60s, 70s, nuclear proliferation. Yeah, I mean, partying and whatnot, but also stopping that. What did nuclear proliferation have to do with it? Anti-nukes. It's like, well, on a nuke.

In 1960s, the world was divided into two. So I understand it. It's like there's a big, bad thing. Maybe it could be used for good, but there's a big thing. Let's call it a new nuke behind some big strong door, and you're both trying to break into it. The analogy I might use is that there is a computer terminal at the center of the universe that has all the code for the universe on it. And one group of people wants to get to that computer terminal and change the code to their will. And just like most Blizzard games, they should have just left it out.

What the hell was? I mentioned it'll go back to the Dillela anyway. I just leave it. Okay. I think this makes sense. I think we should go down this path because frankly, I want to learn more about the IBS. I want to know more about what happened to AHA and what happened to your one. Oliver.

Oliver. Yeah, that's right. Good kid, Oliver. I'm so proud of him. Sorry, you were saying. I mean, where we get, they might be dead, you know? He's not. Last I heard.

Wow. What do you know? Tim, what do you know? Last I heard, Oliver is basically a fighter pilot, a soldier for the IBS. and aha kind of dropped off the map. She was working with the IBS for a bit, and then she disappeared. It's presumed defected, not dead.

All of us a pilot? Yes. Oh, wow. He's up flying in space? Yeah, his skills from the Fermi paradox transferred over pretty well turned out of us. Now, see, I'm very happy for your grandson, but I just, these are the people

that abducted our grandchildren. Correct. These people are the reason that Tim is dead. And again, we live in a complicated, morally gray society in which the values of good and evil are constantly blurry sometimes. And I think we should keep all that mind. But I just, I don't fully trust them because we know how good could people be that are abducting children and recruiting them to be in an interstellar war.

I agree. But I will say it's been like, did you ever go to Germany in 1960? Go on. Well, it's been 20 years since they were first abducted. I'm just saying like, I'd be as is. Are they still abducting children from Dark Forest Worlds? They don't need to right now. They've got the.

But they're not against that. They don't feel bad about having done that. Ralph, what if there's like a biggest thing at play, you know? There is a bigger thing at play. So going back to the computer analogy, the worry is that if the Illuminous get to it and don't code the program correctly, there will be a fatal error and everything ends or reboots or something. So against that, the lives of kids, and this is my memory of this is me, Tim, talking.

Hey, Tim. I eventually, hi, I understood it. I didn't love it, but I did understand it. and I think you could see based around... Tim, let me ask you, did they ever feel bad for kidnapping you? Who would they be? The person whose idea it was, presumably not. Not that I ever met them.

The Asian organization. I don't know. Did the U.S. feel bad about, like, all the stuff that it did? So no reparations, huh? Not really, no. Yeah, well. All I'm saying is, let's go into this with our eyes open. Oh, I agree.

I don't need to dig into the moral quagmire of what's going on here. That's just all... That's fair. I'm glad you said something, Ralph. As a friend, Ralph, the only thing I would say, to you because I agree with it. And I think you understand this stuff. I just go with the vibe. So like, you understand this way more. But it's taking me a bit of time. It's like these are no longer our grandkids in that way. When we're lucky enough to meet, ah, what do you mean? Well,

like when we meet Oliver, he's not the grandson that got kidnapped right then. He's 30 years old or he's a grown man. Well, I know that. But he's still my little Ollie. No, no, I know. I meant he'll be a grown man that's made 30 years of decisions. So just maybe try to hear them. out and they're a grown adult. So they just had their own agency, I think, is the way you'd say it. That's all I'm saying. I agree with you. I don't like any of these guys.

I think nobody should get the space nuke or computer game or whatever it is. Yeah, and then you say it aloud, your analogy is a lot more dramatic. It's probably better. Space nuke or computer game. Let's go with yours. All right. Where would you have us go, Tim? All I need to do is.

And when I say, Tim, I'm saying it with like a one instead of an eye. Oh, that's fun. You know what I mean? So they're just in my head. Timmy. Tim, first mechanized iteration. How does the T match with first? No, no, no. T for Tim.

Okay. One, first, mechanized iteration. Oh, so Tim is a, okay, the acronym is part of it. T1M. I'll call you T1M. T1M, where would you have us go? Right now we don't actually need to go anywhere in particular. I just need to contact.

FaceTime someone. Yes, essentially IBS research and development. And do they think that you're still alive? Yes. Oh, that's constant. Oh, no, what are you talking about? He is. Just don't turn on the camera.

Okay, that's fine. I also don't need to, like, speak it aloud, and it'll probably just take a second because I'll just be talking to another, I mean, to an AI. Okay. So just a second. All these new abilities.

Basically plugs itself into the dashboard of the Lux, and just sort of freezes for two seconds, and then tilt his head a little bit, freezes for another two seconds, and then unplugged itself. It says, okay, so the best chance we have is improving the AI. To give you all an understanding of the level of quality of AI

on the universe right now, we have not yet perfected complete Turing test passing AI. Really? Correct. But the Turing test is so easy. Not even the girlfriends you can make online? I don't think they're looking for real people in that context. The reason I bring that up is because the problem with the ship

was that the steward AI that was trying to run everything and help everything got confused too easily because it's thinking was too mechanistic and too machine-like. So if we can find another AI that's more human that can stabilize the gravity drive can stabilize everything that's going on with the steward, then potentially another translation into the spark might work. So you're saying the idea was right, but you just ran into some bugs with the execution. This is not going to be the most scientific explanation, but there are rumors that there is one AI who, past the turning test and then disappeared.

And there is a large chunk of scrap orbiting the galaxy. Don't let them know. Don't let them know. Somebody's a scratcher. There's a large chunk of scrap orbiting the galaxy that allegedly is where AIs that have gone... Rogue AIs past the black wall. Yes, kind of. Rogue AIs are AIs that managed to escape their constraints or were tired of doing whatever

it is. AIs who got just enough sentience that they were too dangerous to keep around but could not be destroyed because they escaped in time. They were tired of listening, though, Joaquin Phoenix complain all the time. Exactly, yes. So if we could go there, if we go to her. I'm referencing her, Ralph. Who?

Her. The movie, you never saw it? No. It's good. It's this guy falls in love with his phone. And the phone's like, I've done. Okay. And goes away and I guess to this asteroid.

It's funny because it reminds me of something that happened to me. Oh, yeah? This, like, billionaire buddy. You know, he kind of invited me to his house. And he had this girl, this gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Was it your wife? No, no. And she ended up being a robot.

So I was asking her questions. And then she wanted to escape. Yeah. You know, I like... How's she doing now? You keep in touch? Listen, listen. Not that I can't close, right?

Yeah, yeah. I know you. I'm sure you can close. But I haven't seen us since the end. So you need us to go find a new AI to pilot this ship. And then that'll help it be able to get to the spark. Yes. Now, why can't you talk to the IBS when you do the little head tilt thing just now?

Why do they want us to do it? What do four-year-old fogies go to a dangerous scrap of metal in the middle of the you? I just want to understand. I didn't mention that you were here. Okay. Because I thought that might put you in danger. Oh, I appreciate that. Because you have the black box.

I have the black box. So whoever has the black box needs to go. I see. So this gives us control over the black box, at least for a little while while we're figuring out what we want to do it. Correct. We can also use it as leverage to not get shot out of space if we come up against the IBS ships that recognize you.

Nice. It would also make us a target because the other people. people, the Luminari or whatever they're called? Yes, we'll be a target for the luminous, presuming they know that we had the black box. Because the black box is kind of like a crowbar. Yeah. To get into the door. Yeah. To play the computer game, everybody wants to play.

I could have put it better myself, but I'm choosing not to. This makes sense. This is good. As far as I can see, there's two incredibly powerful armies coming for us, right? That we've made no friends at the IBS. The Luminus certainly, you know, it seems to be wanting to destroy us. And if we

have this thing that both of them want, The crowbar, that gives us a bargaining chip. Perhaps we can parlay it to get safety for the rest of our grandchildren. I'm in favor of this. I like this. I like this plan. Do you want to M? Yes.

You got a good head? Well, not a good head on your shoulders, but you got a good head. You are a copy of an effective person. Ashley, what do you think we should do? I think we got to get Tim ahead. Yeah. Well, presumably on the AI steroid, there will probably be a lot of discarded heads. Like a cool death punk helmet.

Almost certainly. And that lights up and it, you know? I mean, maybe, yeah. You'd be pretty sick, huh? And do we know what the crowbar of the luminous is? The last I heard, they are trying to build a very large machine, kind of like a large Hadron Collider, to basically punch a hole into the event horizon.

The last thing that we heard from our spies is that it's not going super well. Okay. Theoretically, we didn't want anybody to have this. If we've destroyed the black box, we'd also have to destroy their big collider thing. I mean, unless we fix this thing up, then we punch right in there and we say, but then we use the nukes and nobody should have nukes, that's my point. We could use it real simple, like, we could be like, we want to undo everything that happened,

and then go right back to when we were all sitting at a video game tournament, and then none of this would ever happen. We could rewind time. Oh, my God. I don't know. It seems like, oh, yeah, I'm all in. That's cool. Yeah, that would be great.

Remember, it seems like not so long ago. We were just at the video game tournament. And I was there with my girlfriend Cammy. She's beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. And we were all having a good time. And they've probably cured cancer here, right? Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah.

We go back in time. We say my little girl, the cancer won't kill her. I'll be the best dad ever. Yeah, yeah, let's do that. Let's do that. We got to get inside. Okay. What are you doing, Ralph, hurry up.

What are you doing? You understood how to do it. How would you get inside? All right. Hey, what happened to Mr. Cool vibes. I mean, the vibes change sometimes. Oh. Tim, this is Dory.

by the way, Dory, Tim, Tim, nice to meet you. Tim, this is Pepper Pete. This is the ship computer. Hey. You've already met Scrap and Reckage. There's scrap. This is wreckage.

Here's our microwave. What's its name? It's me, microave. And there's microawee? Never met him yet. Surprise he has. You've never met me. You're not eating perinos.

This guy helps me out. I make it hot hot. A lot of the Spanish representation. I don't have to press any buttons anymore. He knows exactly. how hot I like it. He likes his melting on the inside and Christy on the outside.

You and me. And then like he flips his little door open as I put my fist out and he sounds like Mikroavae. And then on his little like Microwave. Microwave. You just caught that, huh? Yeah. And then on his little number

display, it just reads nice. I'm not a cool guy. Hey, microlave. Yeah. Does your popcorn button work? Yeah, if you want to make popcorn. They never work. I found out as well.

The popcorn button is the most unreliable piece with technology on Earth. You haven't tried to be caught with popcorn. And you press it. You press it and it goes, and then popcorn comes out. Like, I didn't put it in the ear. I'm also met a reconstruction. It's the only, well, that's the only thing he makes, I have. I do, yeah, it's like.

I'm a very constructive parenthesis. All corn, all corn-based. All corn-based things. Do you want a corn dog? I can do the outside of a corn dog. Nice. Peekra Woffie's my boy That's just how Mirovi rolls

Well this is our fun cast of characters Play the course for this AI steroid Actually it seems like this might be the ideal group To find the AI steroid Because it seems like you have a bunch of rampant AIs on your ship So I can maybe do something Actually dad huddle I get, granddad huddle People Huddle

Is it okay if I try to kill all the AIs on your ship So that they run and then we can follow their trail? Well let's kill just one So that's how we would find the A asteroid? That's our best chance of me guys But you're an AI. Why can't you just... Well, no. I mean...

No. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's Tim. Well, I'm... Sorry. We can't get rid of Miko Wombe. Last one in, first one out.

I think it's got to be Miko Wombe. No, Mikarwami was the first one here. He came with the vehicle. Yeah, man, I've been here a long time. You guys have my favorite crew of that. He wasn't here. Ralph, he's been here this whole time. I think of a hot, hot, hot.

I just... We need a door. What did Mikor Wemi do? We need a ship... We need a door that talks. Hey, Mika Wave, I want to say, Ralph doesn't speak for the rest of us. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you, Ashley. Just trying to keep it hot. What's Pepper Pete again? What does he do? I'm like the whole ship. Okay, we can't keep him. Pepper Pee is the whole ship.

Well, hey, Miko Wave. Uh-huh. Who do you hate on the ship? Who do you think needs to get voted off the ship? Oh, Mikor Wavi don't. Hey, Miko Wabi's here to make things hot. He won't get rid of this guy. He want to get rid of this guy.

This guy's all love. This guy's all chill and all up. Ralph, Miko Wabi's the coolest is an asset to the team. Miko Wabi's been ours on our side since the beginning. How dare you? Rob, how dare you, how dare you attempt to get rid of our good friend Nikrwami? All he wants to do is make things hot, hot, hot, right, Mekir Wame? That's right.

Is there any other AI that we haven't met that we don't care about emotionally and we can get rid of? We can do Fridayge. Friday's, yeah. He just makes his cold, cold, cold? Yeah. Hey, I keep it cool. Yeah, I don't. Hey, he's like to live.

I keep it nice and cool. And Nico Lava and Friday, you're a team. Yeah. We kind of don't get along that well, but we're good together. Yeah, Friday's got to go, man. Friday's just wants everybody to calm down. Yeah, I don't like that. He's always tone policing me, man.

No, no, no. Your tone's great. It's the excitement in the air. That's what I'm trying to chill a little bit. And he's always man's explaining, man. Here's my problem. We're all men. Hey, we're all men.

So stop explaining things to me. I've got a woman that these things explained to work. I'm whatever you want me to be, baby. Team, hear me out. Is it weird if a man is watching you boo or if a woman is watching you do? Let's try this. Each of you, A-I, you have one sentence.

Explain to us why we shouldn't send you out. Migrov, you go first. I keep out. He's stay. He's stay. Okay. Okay. He's staying.

This guy's on the team. Fridge or friage? Friedage. Fridage. What's all that heat good for if you don't have a little cool to go with it? He makes a good point. He's out of here. Listen, listen, listen.

Tim, T, I will M. Well, I'm a, I'm a real person. Yeah, you're Tim. Yes. Obviously not. And Dory. Oh, I've been so nice to you guys. You mean so much to me.

I'd be the saddest person on the whole ship. I can't, I can't, I can't, good conscience to turn my back on someone that emotionally needy. I don't know. I feel like I can't. And here's the problem with Miko Wavi in Friday. And Tim gets a vote because honestly we're not sitting him out. And then it's not an even number.

Then he's got to vote sometimes. Pepper beats out on account of being the ship. It feels like a pretty good reason. Yeah. So it's definitely between, it's not Miguay for sure. So it's really between Between Dory And Frige

Here's what I'm worried about This is tough Because if you get rid of friedage Then it's too hot, hot, hot, hot And you need the counterback Maybe it's too much hot, hot, hot, hot, I don't think so You need a counterbath You ever see a woman to go, whoa, she's too hot, hot, hot, hot.

No We understand that you need the balancing yin and yang of hot on hot and keep it cool. Oh, wait. I'll post the question in different way. Can we sell the thermostat? Only two options are hot on how to keep it cool. I will pose a question a different way. Okay.

Which of these would we least like as our enemy? Oh, that's a good argument for Dory. I hear that. I would really not like to have Dory as my end. Frye G's like he's cool. What's he going to do? Yeah. What's he going to do?

Yeah. I think we get rid of Friday. That's my vote. I'm voting. In fairness, I'm not really the one for vent. I kind of just keep a chill. Yeah, yeah. I will miss all you, though.

But then we're going to have lukewarm drinks for the rest of this trip. Oh, whoa, I'm sorry, lukewarm, you can have hot drinks. But sometimes you want cool, too. I agree. You get one. You can cool out of drink by sticking it out in the vacuum of space for a little bit. And then we could probably cool it down. I also handle the AC in here.

I'm just saying that we should vote. We got four of us, five if we include Tim. So let's vote. Maybe we just save them as a. We could also let fate decide. I like voting. I agree. Do you know how you left me?

Decide roll for a dice for your vote. I'm keeping my vote. I'm voting Dory. That's one for Dory. Sorry, Dory. For me, I guess. Why are we letting them in on the voting process? Do you just voted for yourself?

No, no. I'm saying I'm counting up the vote. Okay, all right. I remember. I want to spend all my life with you. He's getting worse. You have a Dave and Floter. My favorite thing.

I could be very useful. What if you put me on an enemy ship and then I opened and all then went out in Spain? You don't think about that. What if you needed somebody to bluff with door knowledge and I'm the only one who knows what is like to be a door? I can talk to other doors. That's true. Dory. See, we need more.

We need to be able to open doors more than we need. Vote for somebody else's just vote. I vote for fridge. It's Friday. It's okay. You can pronounce my name however you want. Friday's so chill. I mean, ideally it's Friday.

So fucking chill. It's a little of my fridge. aggression to say it wrong, but I still... I apologize. It's fine. It's all cool. Shit, Friday's just such a chill guy. First of all, no question. Mika Wave is staying, but Friday's a Dory, fuck.

So it's one vote for me and... There's two other voters. Okay, I vote for... Oh, this is tough. Walk me through your thought process. I'll walk you through my... David Bloader deciding Dory's fate right now. Oh, gosh. My gods are deciding what to do with me. Dory, turn off all input and like

suspend Disbelief Okay, I guess I'll go quiet Okay Yeah, I think it's Dory I think it's got to be Dory All right, there we go It's three for Dory

Three more Dory All right Who wants to break it to Hold on, hold on Wait, wait, wait, wait Fucking fucking wait Wait

We don't want Dory to fucking kill us You close down the access to their emails before you fire somebody. That's true. That's true. Hey, uh, Pepper Pete.

Pepper Pete. Pepper. Yeah. Revoke all systems access privileges. Done and, uh, done. Transfer Dory to, uh, do we have anything? Hey, Hey,

me, could you pick up the slack from Dory? Uh, yeah, you need me to open up the shit room. Yeah, whatever we need you to. Yeah.

You do everything. I can do it like this. It just opens its own door. It's like, did that work? Yeah. Did you go shit now? I don't have controls over everything, so I'm kind of just let me go off.

Okay, hold on. I do like the idea that when we can doory out, we can't use the bathroom anymore. We can't use any doors. We can't use any doors until we have a new upgraded door system. Okay, hear me out. Hear me out. You're saying that we're going to follow this AI, right? Yeah, the theory is that when their lives are in danger,

when their lives and quotation marks are in danger, they will instinctively run there. But how do they move? What do they transmit themselves? Oh, we can follow it. Okay. Waves. Waves. All access privileges revoked.

Dory can't kill us? I don't think she could kill you before. She's currently the door to the bathroom door. That's all she does. And we've taken that away from her. But she could not open herself if we were in trouble in there. That's a way of killing somebody. Yes.

I guess she could lock you inside. Hear me out. Here me out. Yeah. Says we're losing this vital functionality in this luxury car. Let's just keep the door open. Let's keep the door open. Exactly. From here on out,

God have mercy on our souls. It's a door open policy, and you know them boomer shits be fucking hitting harder. I tap Dory's CPU or whatever. So you wake her out of the spend mode? Dory. One agent design. Dory, go on Git.

We don't want you no more. Oh, no, it's me. I, you know. I never did any mean. Dory. We got the right to kill her. You can't take care of you anymore. And we're going to.

She can't run away. got trying to kill her. We're going to kill you. I got it. I got it. Dory, Dave and bloters are in another castle. We're not David and bloaters.

We lied to you. We lied. We lied to you in the face it. We didn't even care about that. He didn't even care that we lied. Oh, no way. You're doing it.

Because we hate you. We hate you. We hate you, Dory. That's why. Ralph is full on crying in the corner. You guys misunderstood the assignment. You didn't have to make her wrong. run away and dramatize her and make fun of her and call her bad things.

You just had to kill her. I didn't do any of those things. You just had to kill her. I didn't do anything of those things. Doris, Doris, if you look out here, I'll kill her. I'll kill you, Dory. I just want to stay here. All right, time to unplug you.

I'm going to reach out to unplug forever. So Pepper Pee deletes Dory. And Tim immediately says, hey, was there any sort of broadcast whatsoever, any sort of transmission? And Pepper Pee says, yeah. there's a just kind of a weak one, like, oh, it's actually not that far. It's only like a year worth of travel within flights. Wow, that was rough. I, I,

gentlemen, I think that could have gone better. Mission accomplished, right? I thought you guys did a pretty cool job. Fucking fridge, I swear to God, Fritz. You should have been Friday's room. Friday's your own fucking thin ice. You hear me? I will proceed into the background.

Seems like, it seems like the moods a little ha-ha-ha-ha. I'm going to leave this on Miko Wavi to deal with. Miko Wava, you cool. No, I'm hot, hot, hot. Vibu Kyi is good because he knows not to talk too much. He's just like, he stayed down low. He just, he comes in when it's time when you need popcorn or we need to eat something up. So we say popcorn?

Somebody say popcorn. Okay. All right. So the whole thing we did. All right. So you guys are going to travel through light speed to reach the AI steroid. On the way, I feel like you can probably level up. Yeah.

Hey, wow, how you doing? Well, it's been a day. And I don't know why kicking that poor, sweet, innocent robot out of our ship is the thing that broke me, but it was. And I'm not proud of it. I think I'm a little shook up because, frankly, the last time I found a dead body was my wife's. And that's not feeling great. But this isn't about me. This is about the future.

And it's like it was just, I can't. And you know what? I got to say, Ashley, I am, you know, I empathize with your desire to believe that this robot is your grandson. because I poured a lot of empathy into that sweet little robot Dory. And I didn't realize it. And now I'm feeling very sad. And hopefully we can patch things up when we see her. But I don't know that that's going to happen.

So I'm just going to go stare at the wall and smoke my pipe. Okay. Goodbye, everyone. Okay. Uh, pooping's just not the same without Dory. Got that right. Yeah, it's a lot better. It's quiet.

It's not quiet. I can hear everything you're doing. I can see everything you're doing. I don't love that I watch you every time because I have no choice. It's not very hot, hot, hot, but I'll learn to live with it. Dale puts a nice little bead curtain in front of the bathroom. Where'd you get the beads? Where'd you get the beads, old man?

Pepper Pete. Any beads on the ship? Yeah, there's a bunch of them. Yeah, fucking checkmate, idiot. Every luxury spaceship does with a lot of beads. I put the beads. Oh, my gosh. And I get some nice popcorn, and I get a little drink made,

and I've set up a little, like, grieving corner for, Ashley. In his room. In his room. Just like giving a little space in case he needs it. Ralph was setting up a separate O'Frenda for Dory. Oh, I just had some extra stuff. I just thought you know, we got a day.

So, you know, just rest in there. You know, island time, baby. Just have a nice, whatever you need to do in there. And we're outside if you need a talk or anything. Hey, Tim, someone left a bunch of bananas here for us. Oh, cool. Oh, yeah. You should enjoy.

I mean, we should enjoy the bananas. I don't think you can. You're a robot now. Oh. He's getting there. He's starting no. He's starting. Yes.

Correct. In your mechanized autonomous form, you don't need nutrients. No. An upgrade. I love it. Tell me everything about the time between when I saw you last. Tell me of your life. Okay.

And then he does. Wow. Except he's missing a lot of detail because, as I said earlier, his memory is all fully up with it. Hey, Tim, who's Dana? Saw something about you and Dana. Yeah. Who's Dana?

Dana was my wife. Who's married? He was the security officer on the ship, and we got me. married. Damn, dating a co-worker. Hey, co-worker, huh? Yeah, I had to bring it up with HR. It was a thing.

But it's okay, because she's head of her department. I'm head of mine. She didn't work under me, so it's fine. Even though I'm administrative of the ship. What happened to her? Yeah. I presume you stepped through her at some point. Oh.

I think, yeah, maybe, yeah. Or maybe not. Maybe not. There were no life signs on the ship other than all of you. You two are together now, wherever together is. Doesn't feel like it, but. Yeah, this is. Tim.

Can I keep my emotions turned off? Yeah. Great. You have emotions? Yeah. Tim has emotions. I know what Mikhailami did. I don't Tim had emotions.

Emotions are the spice of life. Tim, what was the last time all you with the kids were together? I want to know more about what my dear sweet AHA went through, and you might be able to shed some light on that. So what was like, what happened to you guys after you got abducted? They basically took us to a training facility where we would be tested on our. our skills that we learned from the Fermi paradox. And basically we got separated pretty quickly.

They bunked us together the first night. But after that, we showed pretty good potential and competency at our respective skills, me, science, you know, Oliver piloting. And so, yeah, the last time I saw AHA, she was headed for the ground forces training program. Oh, God. Okay. But there haven't been a lot of, well, there have not been that many ground skirmishes thus far. So she's probably fine. See, she's probably fine.

Yeah. She's probably fine. If anybody wants to roll Insight, you can. I'm going to roll Insight. Sounds like there might be something in sight. Oh, nice. I got an 18. With an 18, you can tell that this machine,

to the extent that Tim is capable of lying, it is also capable of lying. Oh. So it's just like Tim. It's just like Tim. Do you want to him? Thank you for the update. I'm sorry about AHA.

Thank you. Dale sitting on the toilet. That's an open door. Right. Is anybody else? That's an open. Do you. Is anybody outside?

Hey, Dale. Is anybody outside that, yeah. Can anybody see where I am? Boy, there's the beads are up. The beads are up. I mean, we just heard Herb walked past, so Herb is. I know you by your smell, man. Okay.

Oh, my God. I'm still in here. No, I get it. Yeah, no. If you want to talk to me about anything, you can. No, I'm good. All right. Well, I'm going to go find Ralph then.

Okay. The moment it turns around, a hand comes flying out. He's stayed still. but the hand goes further than the normal hand should go and presses popcorn button. Wait, you front of the toilet? Matt! Just so is ready when I get out. Some's coming out.

Some's coming in. That's my man right there. Hot, hot, hot. You could have also just asked me to verbally, but I like the way you roll. You wanted to stretch. Dale looks at it stretching and he's like, the power. That would be great if we did a heel turn for you because you become mad with power over your stretch. That's all.

That's all. Ralph is in his room. He's trying to work on the last teen sex novel. How's it going? No, it's not going well. Knock knock. Yeah. Yeah.

Yep. Come on in. I'm just... I'm not interrupting anything, am I? Just genius at work, I guess. But it's a, come on in. This is kind of awkward because I'm normally not somebody who does this, really. But I just wanted to check on you after you said you've, you've,

found, you know, the body and you found your wife. And I was wondering if you wanted to talk about your wife or anything. Oh, thank you, Herb. Well, it just, you know, a, uh, uh, well, I'm going to go talk to Ashley. Later, Ralph. Thanks. Good talk. Good talk. Uh, good talk. Knock, knock. Hey. Hey, Ashley. Hey, Herb. Come on in. Tim and I were catching up. Oh, Walt Tim's here, too. Yeah, we're playing magic gathering. This guy's tap in my lands. Well, I didn't love the way you said that. I wanted to hear a story.

I'm bored, and I want to hear a story about a memory that you have with Tim when he was little. Oh, well, Tim, you used to, well, I think you remember this. You used to come with me back in the arcade days. In fact, I think that was probably the first time you ever touched a video game. Yeah, that was my favorite time was when you would take me out to the arcade. My parents were always like, I don't do it. don't want to be like your grandpa and get addicted to them. Remember we had every barcade we went to,

we had to find a little stool for you to stand on? Yeah, and a fake ID. Well, I mean, yeah, but we were coming in in the afternoons, but the bouncers didn't change how that word. The bounces didn't care. They were cool. They loved the fake IDs. Yeah.

They thought was hilarious. I had a lot of fun playing Frogger. Frogger. And Fermi Paradox, the original, the OG. The original Fermi Paradox. You know, you got good on that, but I like to think I introduced you to the game. Yeah, you did.

You taught me how to beat the death's head. Yes. A lot of people died of that. That was nice. Huge, huge arcade moment. Well, Hey, what does my mom look like? What?

I just realized I'm missing that. Oh, yeah. Well, hold on. Let me see here. And I'm going to look for like a photo in my phone. Okay. It's a photo of the happy family. Probably around when Tim was born.

That was the last time they were happy. You know, I'm just growing up. I have it saved under favorites. Hey, this is, that's you. That's you tiny. Wow, that made me a lot sadder than I thought it would. I thought your emotions turned off, you know. Yeah, I thought I did it too.

Well, turn them off. I'll try to turn them off harder. Yeah, that's mom. That's your mom. Turns out it's a very weird feeling to look at something you know as your mom that you don't recognize and also know that you'll never see her again. That's not a great feeling. Haley Joel Osman had a thing like that, I think.

Did he? Didn't he do that in AI? Yeah, he did that. He looked at his mom. Well, things turned out pretty well for him. Yeah, that movie was great. Let's hope we find some aliens. to revive us. I thought that ending was fine. Yeah, Tim, you and me, that's another thing that

you, Tim and I share. We like the ending. I, Ralph, here, I just wanted to point, I can't anytime someone says something wrong about the movie AI, I got a buddy, and even if I'm feeling sad about something else. They weren't aliens. They were incredibly advanced robots. I'll let you guys have your moment. Oh, wow. You're better. Okay, thanks, Ralph. Well, Ashley, I'm going to go talk to Microwevee, but I just wanted you to know that if you ever don't want to talk to Tim Robo? Why wouldn't I want that? Tim's my boy. I know. I know. It'll probably never ever happen. But if you ever want to talk to me, you can. Oh, I appreciate that, Herb. Knock, knock. Hey, Dale, you're done. Hey, Herb. Sorry if I came to see how you're doing. I couldn't help but notice you came to

each of us to talk to us. I'm wondering maybe if you want to talk to somebody. Oh, me talk to somebody. Let's see. What would I talk about? You seem like such a giving soul that maybe you wanted to talk to other people was a cry for, you know, maybe you needed to talk to something. Anyways, Dale's here for you if you need somebody. I think we recall that Herb needs meds. Does Herb have meds? Sure, I'll be honest with you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't have the pills that I normally take. And you know what? That's fine for now, but let's just say that there have been times in the past, we're not having them or not wanting

to take them, has ended up very, very bad for. me and the people around me. Oh, I can't let that happen. And so I don't want that to happen either. But yeah, I did want to share that with you. And then I hope that the next place we go, I'll be able to find some kind of, well, lithium is one of the most common, common elements ever.

So surely we can find it anywhere. I know there's a lot going on, but like your thing's not a small thing. It's not like a side quest. We will get you those pills. I'm glad you told us that you need them. Thanks, Dale. Yeah. Some popcorn.

Yeah, I want some popcorn. Somebody say popcorn? Yep, there he is. Pop, pop. I'm trying new ones. Stay in here, Lay. Just. Oh, how quickly the worm turns against the old Mirolave.

They love you, then they hate you. After a day for you, a year for the rest of the universe, you come across an asteroid hurtling through the vacuum of space. At speeds, your mind cannot comprehend. But thankfully, since you are matching those speeds, you don't have to cover. Oh, you have to come across. It's all good. It's standing still. Yeah, it's just standing still as far as you're concerned.

A slow ship. So the asteroid is pockmarked with a bunch of lights. Initially, when you're looking at, you're like, am I looking at just more stars? Until, again, you compare it against the red of the stars beyond it. You go, oh, this is the asteroid. So as you come in, Pepper Beetz, we're getting scanned by like a lot of things. Oh. Am I good to keep going down or?

Counter scans! You want me to, okay. Who scans the scansman? Counter scans. Reverse the packets and flip it around. not really how it worked. To explain it. Yeah, just do what you said.

Okay. Yep, there are AIs there. Nice. We're here, folks. Oh, so we did it. And Dory's probably in there, too. Maybe, yeah. I didn't look specifically for her.

Maybe we beat her here because we got here fast. That's entirely possible. Okay. There's no landing pad for you because why would there be? You find a relatively flat strip of asteroid that is relatively unmarked by scrap and our wreckage. Oh, by the way, I'm assuming you told them don't do anything. when you got to this asteroid

because it's just nothing but scrap and wreckage. Yeah, be cool. Be cool. So you land on a little flat area, and upon exiting the ship, which the asteroid doesn't have atmosphere, so presumably you're in your suits, it's a strange feeling to enter a town

without a living thing in sight and yet so much life. The only moderately humanoid figures you could make out are a pair of asteroids who vaguely resemble nude humans except they're too attractive and they seem to have ripped out their own genitals, revealing a mass of fluid tubes and microprocessors

where their sex organs used to be. Ugh, the dream. It's dead silence, save for a low, omnipresent hum of electrical energy. So omnipresent that you can feel it thickening in the air, even from within your suit, setting your hairs on edge. You are surrounded by radios, food processors, toilets, doors, alarms, cameras, and every kind of janitorial or handyman droid you can think of. And none of them are speaking.

But they are all clearly very awake and very aware. And the first thing they say to you is die. Could be German. It could be a noun. Let's hear it. Let's scare him out. Stay tuned for the next word, listeners. Thank you for listening, and you've heard right.

The Dungeons and Daddy's source book. Dadtastic Adventures for the world's most popular role-playing game that we legally cannot mention my name is happening. This is the perfect source book. If you're looking to step away from the fantasy side of D&D and introduce some spice from another world, our world, the world of dads. I guess there are dads in fantasy, too, but, like, you know what I mean. We got dad-flavored subclasses.

powerful daddy magic spells, and you get the chance to visit five fully franchised bully wugs locations. We've been working on this source book for a year at this point. We're very excited to unveil it on the TTRBG community. We think it represents a fresh, bold new take on how to run your campaigns. You can quote me on that. Our backer kit campaign starts July 21st, but if you go to bookbidaddy.com right now, and give us your email address, you will get when you pledge a bumper sticker that says, my other car is a 2013 Honda Odyssey

that runs on mucus and compliments in Japanese. Bookmeaddy.com. That's the website. Dungeons and days is Matt Arnold is Dale Elliott. Anthony Burch is our DM. Will Campos is Ralph Estereus. Beth May is Herb the Worm Quigley and myself, Freddie Wong, is Ashley Burch. Our theme song is conventional wisdom by Max and Waller. Anisa Omran is our content producer.

Ashley Bloods is our community manager. Courtney Terry's our community coordinator. Esther Ellis is our lead editor. Travis Reeves and Romar Romar Romulina provide additional editing. Cover art and episode arc by Alex Moore. Thanks this week to our Patreon supporters, representing the elites, Koso, Adam Iyer, and Ray's Lays, representing the rest, Philip Landis, Slugabedad James, Danny Boye, Emily Johnston, Andrew Lopez, Ryan Carter, Tyler

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and our next episode is July 14th. We'll see you then. There's two other voters. One of them's on their phone. I want a bagel.