Dungeons and Daddies - S4 Ep. 18 - Heartbreak Fridge

Episode Date: October 6, 2026

how to password lock browser but just for oliverThis episode contains Profanity, Violence, Sexual Content and Suicide.If you are struggling or need extra support, please see the resources below:• A warmline is a phone number you call to have a conversation with someone who can provide support during hard times. Find a warmline at WARMLINE.ORG• If you are in crisis and a warmline can’t provide the level of support you need, you can reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or using the chat box at 988lifeline.org• Here is a tool to find international crisis phone and chat linesSupport the show on Patreon!Get merch and more at our website!Follow us on Bluesky @dungeonsanddads!Check out the subreddit!DM is Anthony BurchDale Elliot is Matt Arnold Ralph Estarellas is Will CamposHerb “The Worm” Quiggly is Beth May Ashley Birch is Freddie Wong Theme song is “Conventional Wisdom” by Maxton WallerAnnissa Omran is our Content ProducerAshley Blood is our Community ManagerKortney Terry is our Community CoordinatorEster Ellis is our Lead EditorTravis Reaves and Omar Romolino provide Additional EditingCover art and episode art by Alex Moore (@notanotheralex)Get in contact: https://www.dungeonsanddaddies.com/contactThe story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Many years ago and many light years away, there sat a planet called Earth. This was not necessarily unique in and of itself. Life grows in very rare, very specific circumstances. It is to be expected, then, that any given developing planet's population might evolve along similar lines to the populations of other similarly life-sustaining planets. This has resulted in at least three planets throughout the universe known as Earth,

each containing countries named Germany, Russia, the United States of America, and so on, each having invented ice cream and ice cream scoops, and the sport of throwing heavy balls at a collection of oblong white cylinders. Only one of these Earths, however, ran a foul of spirits beyond the can of that Earth's denizens. Only one of these Earth saw Bolin team stand between their planet's survival and the creeping darkness, and only one of those Earth saw that bowling team fail at the final hurdle. And so, in the waning hours of this particular Earth's lifespan, a spaceship swooped down. It picked up a young human male, the severed head of a metallic housewife, and a formerly human,

former soda jerk. This spaceship, named Lumos, and run by the last remnants of a dying, moth-like species, held what might soon become the last survivors of this particular Earth. Three days after leaving Earth, a stray beam of solar radiation hit the ship's engine matrix and changed a zero into a one. Such a glitch was a fluke, an unfortunate role of the Earth. dice. This minor malfunction in the ship's engine cascaded into a series of irreversible failures, plunging the moths and the human and the housewife and the soda jerk into complete darkness

with an unlimited supply of recycled air. The moths used their emergency comp to request assistance from someone, anyone, but that now silent ship held every remaining moth on the galaxy, and these moths had no planet to go home to, much less get help from. And so the dark, silent ship drifted through the indifferent void. And then the moth's food ran out. and then they died, leaving what could generously be called three humans alone in that dark. Their human food lasted longer than the moth food, and so they lived a while longer. And then their human food ran out. And the young human boy, who was actually the son of the severed head, sorry for not mentioning that before,

considered the possibility that his mother might have to watch her last remaining child starved to death. And so one day, not that you could consider it a day given the total darkness, the soda jerk walked into the room that held the housewife and her son, just in time to hear the housewife, the person he loved most in the universe, die. Well, die might be an exaggeration, shut down. With the press of a button, the son ensured his mother, the person he loved most in the universe, would not have to watch him die. He did not give the soda jerk this same consideration.

The human boy had seen what it looked like to starve to death, and the human boy did not want this for himself. And so one day, the soda jerk, who did not need to eat given what his body had become as of late, called out to the boy and heard no response. The soda jerk searched in the darkness with what might generously be called his hands, and he smelled the blood before he felt it, and his screams echoed through the now empty ship. He considered turning the housewife back on just so he would not be alone, but he decided it would be too cruel to welcome her back into a universe with no real humans left.

He considered falling the human boy into oblivion, but he had made a promise to his friends, who were almost certainly dead by now, that he would survive, that he wouldn't kill himself like he knew he should have when he had the option to do so, during an opportunity to save his world. And so he sat in the dark, empty spaceship and waited for it to crash into an errant asteroid or be pulled into a star, or whatever death might inevitably come for him. But he did not wait long, because three days after the sun and the mother died

and left the soda jerk all alone, the ship was rescued. It was purely a fluke that a passing cargo ship saw the moth's tomb and decided to investigate. Dumb luck, a roll of the dice. And the soda jerk lived, and he considered turning on the housewife, the person he loved most in the universe, back on. But he didn't. Instead, he made a promise. The next time Trudy Trout awoke, she would be greeted by her son.

And not just her son, but her friends, the car salesman and the schoolteacher and the plumber. He did not know how he would accomplish this. He did not know how long it would take. But as his saviors pried open the airlock of the Lumos and the blinding light street, into the ship, illuminating the corpses of the housewife and the human boy and the last moth people in the galaxy, a plan started to form. Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies, or as we call it around here, grandpas and galaxies. That's the season four title. It's a grand space popper about four gilfs who take to the stars to rescue their grandkids and perhaps the entire known universe in the process.

GILF. Speaking of GILF, hey, this is D&D with a sci-fi dark matter Twist. My name is Freddie Wong. I play Ashley Burch. Ashley Burch, Burch, like the tree. Born in 64, Ashley Burch is the youngest boomer, a twin galaxy's era gadgeteer, arcade pro gamer turned Twitch streamer. I want to talk a little bit about Ashley's grandpa fact, which is that he had a short-lived and not that lucrative brand integration on his Twitch channel with Gunner Optics. You remember those? Oh, Gunners! I thought about Gunners in a minute, dude. Old people, yellow, blue light, block in shades that improve your visual acuity for gaming.

He pitched them the idea, and they didn't take him up on this, surprisingly, not the least of which because he wasn't a huge Twitch streamer. Imagine this. Gunner bifococals. What if you need a, what if the bad guys are close and you got to zoom in a little bit? One for the hood. One for the kill. You know what they call him?

Gunner, iron sights. Iron sights. Oh, shit, dude. That's so sick. They're yellow tinted bifocals. So that you can scroll your phone and talk to your kids at the same time. And not have blue light damage. And not have blue light damage.

I have an astonishing Ashley fact that someone pointed out on the Discord, which is that Ashley is like the same age as Glenn Close at the end of season. Oh my God. That rules. Listen, we're trying to encompass. It blows my mind. We're trying to encompass the whole range of boomer energy. Listen, it covers a big range.

Yeah, dude. Big range. So spread. Hey, everybody. My name is Matthew Arnold. And I play Dale Elliott, the World Cruise loving ex-life guard living his best monk life, widow of one, father of four, grandfather, seven, and friend to all.

A little fact about Dale going back a few years, 1986. Just waiting for the one-piece connection. Also, when I was born, 1986. So I want to talk about that time that Dale was a little bit, you may not know, it was a little bit famous. Oh, wow. It had a pretty big impact. So one of his greatest days was, you know,

they lived in San Diego for a while, kind of on the beach front, you know, doing his lifeguard duty. You'd often play volleyball with the boys, having a good time. He was playing with the boys, showing off for his wife Zelda. She loved him when he played volleyball with boys. And there was this kind of older weird man

kind of like walking around watching. And finally they stopped like, hey, excuse me, sir, do you want play? He's like, no, I don't want to play. He's like, well, you know, we're going to be filming something soon. He's like, my name is Tony Scott. And he's like, what's the guy's like,

yeah, we're supposed to film. I don't know about this scene. It's just like, you introduced to his older, weird man. Oh my God. He's watching. He's looking around. He's looking really deadly. And he's like,

he also wasn't like older, older back there. Dale, he was like, well, surprise. Like, why I just got,

it's a, it's a movie about planes and shooting Russians down. And it was going to be straight, but then I saw you.

But there's a scene, but there's a scene where they just play volleyball and the script that's a paragraph long, and it's like literally they keep scored everything. I just don't know how to film this. But watching Hugh boys play, I think I know exactly what to do.

And Dale is actually a background in. Wow. The scene. Wow. He's got a white shirt on and he's not wearing a hat. And you can see him in one. shot. It was a band in the background that looked the most like I imagined Dale to look. Oh, you did the research here. And Dale, he was, Tony Scott was so thankful for Dale for, like,

getting inspired by Dale that he was going to have him because they actually used stunt doubles and Dale was really good volleyball. He was going to use him, but Tom Cruise was intimidated by his physique. Tom Cruise got mugged by Dale. Yeah. So Dale can, too short. Too short. He did get an F-14 Tomcat at the end of the shoot. So Dale is more or less responsible for the best scene of that movie. This is the first time we've had a player character with an objectively correct representation now. Yeah, that's crazy that I can look up a character

like, that's Dale. I'll find the screen shot on a point at who I said was like, that's Dale. And he's real. He's in our world now. He's real. Like we've connected our seasons

with other seasons. The first time we connected with the real world. I love that it's not like, oh, now that's why this shares a universe with top gun. It's like, no, top gun is why this shares

a universe with us. Yes, yes. Hi, I'm Will Campos. I play Ralph Estoreas, a sci-fi scribe slash wife guy whose wife died slash sorcerer slash rady.

Farik. Farika. And my fact is that Ralph was one of the sufferers of the Mariko Aoki phenomenon, which is a Japanese expression referring to a sudden urge to defecate that is felt upon entering bookstores. What? They got a word for that. Yes.

Mariko Aoki wrote an editorial in Japan in the 80s about how she always needed to get her poops out when she went to a bookstore. And so many people in Japan were like, bro, same. That it became a thing. And Ralph is a sufferer of his malady. Every time he goes into a Barnes & Noble, that fresh book smell hits him. It could just be that every time he goes, he gets like a little cup of coffee at that Starbucks. But then sooner or later, he's got to make his way past the children's section.

Well, my mom has this for Nordstrom. Sorry, mom. I have this for, like, my house. Is it just like a safety thing? Oh, that's awesome to have it for my house. It's been a problem for Ralph on several books signing, speaking to our engagements. I would love to get the on the ground journal. from Barnes and Noble, like, employees who have to clean up the bathroom, be like, is it getting

blown up more? Thanks to Sunrise on the Reefing. Yeah, thanks to Susan Collins' work. Hi, my name is Beth May, and I play Herb the Worm Quigley, a young at heart barbarian storytelling grandpa who is losing the plot. Fun fact about Herb, his favorite song is Red Solo Cup by Toby Key. Yeah. Because Herb dropped out of college, but whenever he hears that song,

and he's only discovered it relatively recently. He thinks about how much fun he would have had with his friends at college and how close they would have been and playing the old beer pong and all kinds of drinking games with those red solo cups. And so it just brings a tear to his eye

and he just thinks fondly about this life he never really had. I'm Anthony Burcham, I'm your granddad master. Today's epic ramp is a back and forth. I'm not going to save the names. You'll be able to... Syker Socrates. Guess them, I suspect.

You did a bad thing that doesn't mean you're a bad person. person one person two says but i i know i'll do it again person one says okay well that that would make you a bad person Kelsey grammar from francis farnsworth season three dungeons dragons with beachyville or yeah yeah yeah ultimately you got there Matt got it too yeah little twinkle that's crazy yeah that's the first time the epigrams been said by a woman played by man the streak continues not trying to count is just something i've noticed So when we last left you, the sculptor had lost a debate against you all for control of Al, the hyper-intelligent AI, who has the power to teleport you directly to wherever you want to go without worrying about time dilation.

You get angry. You put your hands around Oliver's head, Dale, so that Oliver can't hear potentially whatever fucked up shit that the sculptor might want to say. And then either Ashley or Herb, whoever had it at the time, hit the sculptor with a taser net, basically. That was my tasernet. Yeah, it was your taser net, but Herb was holding it, right? Herb has all your stuff. I had the tasernet, but all my other cool gadgets are in the employ of one herb. Yep.

What do you want to do now? We win. Run. We run. Wait, why do we run? Because we got to get it. He's grabbing out of other guys. Run.

Okay, we run. I keep my hands around Oliver. I'm just kind of like holding him. That looks so weird. I'm like holding him like when you have like a hot pot and he got your two towels on either side, but you're running with it. You know, when you run the hot. You're lifting up.

You're lifting him by his head and his legs are dangling and like, go, blah, blah, blah. And I'm running after Ralph. Well, nobody's going to stop you on your way out because it's just a Navy in a hospital. It's too easy. You run out. We run to the spark. We go to the spark. We run to the spark.

We can we can, right? Can we just go win the season? Can we just do what we want? What do we want to do? We have it. We can. He can go to the spark. So on your way out, the last thing you hear somebody yell, not stopping you, but you hear the sculptor say,

I didn't want to do this, but. And that's it. Hold on. Slow on, slowdown. Hold on, hold on. Hold on. No, it's a trick. He's just trying to stall us.

Wait. Is that a reaction to something? Yeah, he said something as you left the room. That's a reaction. That's one D8 lightning damage. Okay, great. Go and roll it. Yep.

And how much is that? So we keep making him react to stuff. He'll die. That is one damage. It's like a real fucked up. One damage. It's like a real fucked up Fine Brothers video.

He rubbed his feet on a carpet and then touched a door knob is the level of pain he just experienced. That lousy piece of shit. I think we should keep moving. I think we should keep moving, but slow down a little bit. Dale, can you stretch one of your ears out to hear him as we continue to run? Oh, I've never thought of that. Let me try.

And then one of his ears like, like the tip. But then as it stretches, since ears are essentially a mechanical device and they do work based off of like that way. Oh, it distorts the hearing. But you can still hear a little bit, but it's pretty weird. He's like, oh, sounds like it's underwater, but not. It's odd. Okay. Where do you want this baby to go?

We should try to hear a little bit of whatever he said. You sound like he was finishing a sentence. No one just says I didn't want to do this, but then trails off. When there are a room by themselves, who's he talking to? So you want to hear what he says, but you want us to keep running. Exactly. Okay, I'm going to keep my ear. Can I do everything at once, please?

I'm going to keep my ear at the door. And I'm going to run and see how, I don't know how long it'll take until my ear has to snap back. And then it'll go, cooing. Because it sounds weird because of the mechanics of your ear, I will say what he's going to say, but while gargling. Oh, God. Oh. The first time I've heard Anthony to talk about. Oh, Christ.

Matthew. Fucking Matthew. You can't laugh. I told me I can't have to spin it out. Bro can't just guard those not the first of my thoughts. Oh, yay. Can't just play the fucking ukulele on the goddamn balls

with my tongue every once in a while? Play the ukulele on the balls with your tongue. You don't play. There's a lot going on in that metaphor. Colimbo, which is what I went to say. takes me back I have no idea what he's like I don't know either

whatever is bad and he's already doing it let's go you have the ship that you came in on with the IBS guy and then you also presumably somewhere might have the luxe because that's what the sculptor used to get here

yeah we should go for his ship we should press the button the unlock button until we hear Who knows what he's done to the ship in like six months that he's had it or whatever. If we get his ship, he's stuck here and then we have everything we need to get to the spark and put an end to this once for all. Can't he just take our ship? We'll blow up our ship on the way out.

All right. That's a good idea. Dale wants to roll investigation to see like where our ship is parked. If, you know, there's, you know, like an airport wherever. Like if he can see where the Lux is parked, if there's any sort of sign or anywhere that would indicate where this other ship is parked. I mean, you can roll investigation. Go for it.

Remember, we're in the itchy lot. This is good, good one. 19. 19. Oh, this is a natural 20 minus 1 is what it was. Well, with a natural 20, I'll just fucking tell you then. It's parked in like a disabled spot loading zone close. It's like, what an asshole, huh?

Quadruple park. Some had double parked two against two, yeah. Fuck it. With a 20, yeah, it's in the fucking disabled spot over two different spots. Oh, that's good news. It means it's close. Because it's parked that's closer to wherever the action is. Right there.

I point to it. Oh, there it is. Let's get on. Let's go. Yeah, it's into space parking lot. It's like a bunch of space pads for like landing pads. And you basically saw, I guess, I didn't mention it, the Lux on your way in. That ship looked familiar.

Hey, wait a minute. I want to roll investigation before we actually get on to the ship or like just to see if it's safe. Go ahead, roll investigation. Oh, there might be other sculptors in there. Okay, Slay, that's a four. Okay. I will roll investigation as well. Ooh, I got a nine.

Great. I walk up to the gangplank and I go, AI. I hail the AI. AI, hail. Hello. AI, respond. Respond. Ship, AI, respond. So you hear Pepper Pete from inside going, do you mean me? Pepper Pete. Pepper Pete, it's so good to hear your voice. Pepper Pete, list all modifications to ship in the last six months. Filtered by things that we would not want in a ship if we were trying to get away. What kind of stuff would you not want? Pepper Pete, use your advanced AI reasoning to determine that.

Roll technology. Technology. Technology. Computer. Computer. Computer. Help computer. Luckily for you, I am a technological genius with these gunner shades. 7 plus 714. Okay. There is a motion sensor that's been added to the gangway at the end. It's like at ankle height. It's just like a garage door. I know how to trip this.

Just jump over it. Yeah, and you feel like Indiana Jones. It's true. And there were other modifications made that I did not actually see him physically do or at least aren't connected to like a network. Oh my God, that's a do your job for you. Investigating query all. other attention AI systems and provide summary, please.

Of all changes. You think MicroWave saw something I didn't? It's a smart Mikrolave. Smart Wikovis tied into stuff. You don't think the microwave is going to ding in the other parts of the ship when the food is done? Are we at our ship or their ship? We're at their ship. We're trying to steal their ship.

It used to be yours. Two plus seven. Two plus. Oh, that's right. I saw that. Nothing. I'm sorry. Damn it.

Okay. You didn't ask Friday. You go stout. Hey, Friday. Same query. Repeat. Execute. Roll technology.

18 Friday's is on top of things He put a bomb in me Oh my God In the fridge That's such a low blow man Friday's disarmed bomb I don't really have the ability to disarm the bomb Friday

Cool bomb down significantly So that any chemical reactions Don't happen It has to be very significantly Unfortunately he put it in the Friday He didn't put it in the freezer I have a freezer section And he didn't put it in my freezer

Miko You guys help out Help him out You remember Friza Griffin, right? Nope. Freezer Griffin. Yeah, what?

Does anybody want a defrosted bacon shrimp? I want this ship to blow up now. It's fucking blow the ship up. Oh, well, all we have to do is just move the microwave out. Wait a second. We could just blow the ship up and then take our ship. Wait. Problem solved.

Yeah, that's right. It's probably triggered by the motion sensor. But then you put microaweb. You can't make a microwave. Let's say your sacrifice will be noted for the glory of the car. And the dick-sucking carpet. Fridge. Yeah.

Put yourself in the airlock. What? I can't move. I'm a fridge, baby. Something in there's got to move, right? All right. Dolly. Dolly?

Our dolly. Furniture dolly. Furniture dolly. On, activate. Well, hi, honey. What's up? I need you to move Friday. She's back, dude.

Oh, my God. I need you to move Friday. And Freezer Griffin into airlock. All right. Go ahead. technology old hugger. 18 plus 7.25. She's working 9 to 5.

Dolly, dolly, dolly, dolly, dolly. She picks up Frightage and and Peter Freezing. Go to take my fridge. Freezing griffin. And it goes, all right, well, I'm going to put him at the airlock next to the gangplank. Okay. Activate airlock.

Okay, well, we're on an atmospheric planet, so can I just stay there? Push, push. Push out. Push out. If I push it all the way out, it's going to hit the... Goodbye, Dolly.

Wow, she really is a national treasure. So you want her to push it so that it hits the motion detector and explodes? No, no, no, no. The airlock and the gangplank are connected. They would put an airlock. Okay. Are they not?

Okay, hard stop. You're telling me this high-end ship is going to put the gangplank and the airlock in the same. I mean, the gangs would have an airlock. Are you saying there's only one? If it's a wave to exit the ship, there has to be an airlock to prevent depressurization. That's fine.

So it has a ramp. Yeah, he's doing no. Okay, so roll it past us. Everybody will step far away. I'm saying there's a motion detector on the right. It's going to tip the motion detector and blow up the shit. Unless you jump over it or disable it. Dolly, go as far back as you can.

Get a good running start. Just go as fast as you can. And jump. Just because. Hi, I don't have the ability to jump. Wheels. Guys, guys. Wait,

what happened? No, no, no. I have the gravity manipulator. Hey, Herb, hand me that device over there. The gravity manipulator. I totally will, man. Once you show some better manners. Please.

Yeah, okay. All this is happening, by the way, Dale is kind of signaling. He's, like, going around the hangar, like, clear away. Clear back. Get back, man. Ralph was keeping an eye out for any encroaching,

luminous-looking people. Not that I know what that looks like But I'm like, is anyone walking suspiciously Towards the ship? Has anyone look like? I'm just trying to like clock the vise. Yeah. Sometimes.

Here we go. Here we go. Action levitate. One creature object under 500 pounds. Fridges under 500 pounds. Floats 30 feet over to me. Constitution's saved to stop it from happening. That's only if she doesn't consent.

And I think she does. Okay. So yeah, you levitate. Dolly. She hovers over the gank. plank and is now basically floating like six feet in the air. It's somewhere else in the parking lot, I think.

Do we see our other ship? Yeah, you see, you turn the bomb over to my head. You turn and you see, you see your IBS chaperone like, like he's just put his hands up like, Oh, come over here, come over here. We want a fridge, and I'm going to move it. Like, we want a fridge. Roll deception.

We don't need to see it. Just like how don't come over here. 15. So 15? John goes, what? And starts walking over to you. Hey, this is a, fridge for our ship. How did you get a fridge?

I told you, we won it. We won it. Bird law, we won it. The courts gave it to us. Okay. Okay. Yeah. We don't need a fridge. We do. We won it. So you want two fringes, yes. Okay, let's go ahead and open it up. Make sure there's nothing inside. No, no, no, no, no, no. Check the freezer. Okay. Open up. Come on, let's go. Hurry up. Come on. There's nothing here but like a crockbot for making stewie. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Put it in me. Slowly. I'm going to go ahead and check the fridge now.

Oh, I guess it's locked here. Move. Roll deception again at this time of disadvantage. Four. I'm not going to do that. We'll just keep the fridge and the freezer here. Well, no, you see, I'm moving it with my gravity manipulator. I can put it wherever the fuck I want. I'm asking you to stop doing that.

John, you can need a... Hey, John, we're taking this ship now. John, you... Come over here. We're taking this ship? That ship that you're in, that refrigerator is going to go in there. Why? And that ship's going to explode.

I'm responsible for that. Wait. I'm responsible for that ship. I can't just... If I was an army guy and I had a helicopter and I came in, I wouldn't be like, yes, I'm psyched to take a butt. What ship? Where's our ship? It's right over there.

It's where I was. It's close enough that I can do a bonus action and fling it. I'm going to fling the refrigerator at the other ship using the gravity manipulator. Okay. Do you have to roll for that or anything? Okay, I will say this. 30 feet if it's a human-sized. Perfrigerator?

Yeah. It is. Okay. 30 feet. Okay. 30 feet away. Oh, because it ends up short and then Dolly just has to kind of scoot further. Yeah, yeah.

Dolly could get it the rest of the way. Dolly. Dolly, check out that other ship. Okay, huh? Get under it. Like, structurally where it is the most weak. Look at the underbelly of it. So you're doing this.

Dolly flies 30 feet into the air. Comes up a little short, kind of topples over. I was like, I'll fix it. It's fine. and then like tries to like get herself back under Friday and Friza. Hey, y'all have the good time. Meanwhile, while this is happening, John's like, stop? And he pulls out his gun and points it at you.

He's like, I'm responsible for the ship. Don't destroy my ship. Listen, listen, John, this is like if you have like a fridge in your kitchen, right, with the food and stuff like that. But then you have another fridge in the garage and you keep your diet Pepsi and if you want diet Pepsi instead of Diet Coke. It's a big issue. And some people don't know which one to choose.

Anyway, um, so you. you keep another fridge in the garage for the beverages and it blows up sometime and it's not a big deal or anything, but this is just going to be our garage ship with our garage fridge and it's going to blow up. Roll persuasion with disadvantage. How close is you to the ship? He's close to you guys, not to that ship. My lowest is a 10. With a 10 is not going to cut.

Is the fridge underneath the ship now? Dolly is still trying to get it back up, but let's say you guys get one more action and then the fridge will be under the ship. I'm just going to try to calm down, John, until the refrigerator. in the background you see it I try it Hey John Just stay cool for like six seconds

Tell the fucking thing To come back where I'm gonna shoot I have an idea Are you blocking his line of sight To the fridge No I think he can see it He can see it I think he's probably pointing

The gun at Ashley To his like north And then he's like looking west And can see out of corner of his eye The Friday agent Dolly All right I use message to talk to Ashley And I say

Ashley move between you and the fridge so that you're blocking his line of sight on the fridge. I'm like, hey, cool, man, be cool. Jesus, why are you pulling a guy? I got a cool new fridge and you're going to point the gun at me? All right. Once Ashley's blocking line of sight, I cast a silent image. You create the image of an object, a creature,

or some other visible phenomenon that is no larger than a 15-foot cube. The image appears the spot within duration and last iteration in about 10 minutes. It isn't accompanied by Saddok's, okay. As magic action, you can cause the image to move to any spot within range the image changes the location. You can alter its appearance and its movements appear natural for the image. So what I'd like to do is like right in front of actual Dolly

with the thing. I'm going to create a duplicate image of Dolly as if she's just right in the fridge. Like the scene in speed. I'm like, okay, Dolly, just come on back. He's right. Just come on back. See, she's coming back.

And then I'm like slowly with like my little fingers discreetly behind my back marioneting this illusion so that it appears, Dolly is coming back to the ship. That's great. That's really good. So, yeah, that works.

He goes, thank you. Jesus Christ. We're pretty sure that the motion sensor activates the bomb, right? Yes. Okay, so I'm going to step back. Be like, be cool. I'm going to walk backwards. At the moment, the moment the bridge is underneath the plane.

And Dolly's gotten clear. And I, it seems like a good time to get rid of some extra characters that would. I'm going to take a step back. I'm going to cross the line. Okay. Yeah, the last thing you hear is a combination of, oh, man. And then there's an explosion and a ship you came in on the IBS, a transport.

Half of it is incinerated. I'm going to use flexible fists because I'm assuming John turns. Yeah. I'm going to stretch out and grab that gun from him. All right. Because I'm not surprised. I want to clarify it. I'm not surprised.

Yeah. He saw him coming, dude. I knew exactly what that bomb was going on. I am unflinching. I would argue that the sound of an explosion would make him grab a gun tighter, not looser. He's looking backwards. Sure. I let go both ears of Oliver.

And one hand, one fist slaps the shit out of him. And the other fist wrestles the gun away from him is what I'm trying to do. I don't know if you could do one thing. One thing. Are you going to wrestle for the gun? I'm going to grab the gun. Okay. So let's do it.

Let's do a pose strength check. Do I get a badge or whatever since he's all surprised and shit? I suspect you won't need it, but sure, sure. 16 plus two. That'll do it. Nice. You managed to wrench the gun easily out of his hands. And he goes, what the f?

What? We're all in the same team, buddy. Don't point guns at us. I heard he's going to put his hands over all over his ears now. What are you doing? Grandpa. It's just, it's a thing. It's a thing.

John goes for his pistol, but then realize he's, you have his, gone and he's surrounded by like five of you and he's kind of at a loss for what to do he does he has a pistol yeah he does my other hand slowly straight you already did your thing I'm saying he hesitates and he kind of stops because he's like there's no way I can win a fight against five fucking people when one of

them has my gun and one of the same person could do stretchy powers I know what you're thinking John you're thinking there's no way I can want to get fight against five of us when one of them has my gun and he has stretchy powers and you'd be right life comes down to moments John and this is your moment

This moment is yours to choose. Do you come with us on this adventure? Do you stay behind and live the life that you've led up to this point? Become a bird. Do you join the bird people? This is your moment, John, and you get to choose. We're all free beings in this. As I'm saying this, I'm scooching up the bag, gang, blanket gesturing for everyone else to do the same.

We're all free beings in this world, John. We all have choices, and the choices we choose are the things that we have chosen to do. and that is what you shall do now. You shall choose, my friend, goodbye. Goodbye. You don't get a choice. I run into the ship. All right.

Ralph, that was so well said, man. Yeah, I mean, I can see why you're a writer, man. Oh, thank. It was, you know, I was just mostly saying the word choose quite a bit. We not want, John? Should we just run with you? I'm running. Okay.

You guys do what you want. I, you know, if John, you can choose too, Dale. You can choose whether. I know we can't turn it off. Hi, sorry. So you're so. They're so persuasive. I find myself getting pulled back to the ship.

Like the Pied Piper is stones or bring me back to him. But I have one hand, like my hand is taking where it was, though. It kind of like giving him like the mm-mm-mm finger. Like that's go farther. The old, the old Ghostbusters, too, just like. John, we could have been something. And I. Stretch your lips out and give him a little kiss on the cheek.

I guess he's just going to let. you go ahead and go inside the ship as the gangplank begins to fold back up. John, you still have a choice. You can still choose, John! He just shakes his head and you see him, like, grab his, like, shoulder walkie thing, like cops have.

And he just mutters something into it. Probably he's not even going anywhere. He probably just has it for show. Let's hope so, because that might be a problem. And then you see him go, what? His body language gets a lot more frantic. And he starts panicking.

Oh, never mind. It's probably real. And he waves at you guys. and he says, stop, I pause the game playing. He goes, let me on, let me on. Let me on. What did you just hear?

Let me in and I'll explain. I don't know. I'll trust you, man. Tasha got up first and then you can come in. Oh, sure. And then he tosses his pistol side. I stretch out and I grab them.

Okay. I pick him like a baby. He goes, oh my God, I feel so safe. I feel like I need to shit. He says, every planet on which we have reconnaissance, people have just lost their fucking minds.

Oh. They're like killing each other seemingly random. Everybody who started the killing is not killing each other. It's like half of, you know, some planets are like a tenth or a hundredth, the really small like space stations and stuff. But like every place we have somebody as reconnaissance,

there is a riot happening. We're not even a riot really because that implies that they like want something. This is just thoughtless, indiscriminate murder by a small population of, well, time to go. So can we go to like the nearest IBS station so I can stop that? My family's on where we came from, the station that we, I would like to do that. It's fair.

I would want to go back to, wait, every planet, Earth, too? I don't know. We don't have any on Earth right now. Oh, okay. This must have been the rest of the sentence that I didn't want to do this, but. And now he's decided that they're going to just kill them back what they want, which, boys, I don't think we can do. I think this just more or less proves why these people aren't to be trusted with ultimate

power. This is a pretty ridiculous thing to do. We can't literally go to every planet and fight. Let's get into space. There's only, okay, we blast off into space. Okay. And then as we do that, a bunch of stormtroopers come out, shoot ineffectually at us. Nice.

You know what I mean? Which one of you does the Han Solo limp-risted like one blaster shop before running in? For sure. Nice. Great. I give a little debonair wave from the closing gangplank. By the way, as we walk by Miko Wave, I'm like, Miko Wave. Where is Friday?

Hey, Nikros. Where did Friday's going? Friday should be added to our memorial wall of fallen heroes like in Star Wars Hero Company. No. And you see, there's. He's next to the little Grito guy. It's just a picture of Aurelio

from Zero Company and our Samsung and Fraser Griffin. They were good soldiers. Oh, why did O'Reilly have to use that? Roger Moore's picture is there. I assume he died. Oh, we're scrapping luggage. They're somewhere.

So they're in orbit. They're in space. All right, great. I'm not good on them. Was it a verb? Oh, so I know. Sorry. Yeah, I'm just thinking about, you know,

everybody, there's people on all these planets that are like fighting and stuff like that. I don't know if we can trust John personally. But I don't know. You know, that guy seems so mad that his bowling team fell apart. I don't know. It's hard to get people to get together to go bowling every week. I know.

It's tough. It's tough. But every man over 50 understands the sanctity and value of a bowling team. That's true. We're all in agreement with you. It's a given. That's not an excuse. That's not an excuse for genocide.

Yeah. To meet genocide. Do you what? And that is what's happening in genocide. Fred is just like, wait, wait, wait, what is an excuse for genocide? The, look. It would have been very simple to say no. There is no excuse.

I won't. That includes bowling teams. That's also not an excuse. That's what I'm saying. If you say something isn't an excuse for murder, that doesn't mean you believe there are a bunch of things that are. It just means that that thing is it. Well, Ralph, no, this is frying my brain a bit. So, like, the sculptor, if it's one person and we had to kill him to save him,

to save the world. That would just be killing him, right? But if he's a whole species, would that be genocide? It's fraught. It's a fraught situation we find ourselves. Fraud, front,

fraud. I think the only thing you do. You didn't miss me? We got Oliver. We got Oliver. And I want to use the ship's computer to see if I could design maybe some like reverse hearing aids

for Oliver so that maybe... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you... Why is everybody putting their hands on my ear? I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you, Ollie, Ollie, okay, so when you got injured, let's just say there is a frequency that will hurt your brain if you hear it. And a lot of times people can do it without even meaning to. It could just slip out and I get scared because it will really hurt your brain if you hear the frequency.

Okay. Go ahead and roll deception with advantage, honestly, because that's a good excuse. Oh, boom. Okay, and I'll roll another time. Maybe it'll be higher. It wasn't. I got a 22. Wow.

It goes, oh, Jesus. Okay. Yeah, sure. Sorry. Okay. Why didn't you tell me? Yeah. Okay.

Sure. Yeah. So we're just going to fashion some thing with using the computer because this computer smart. And, uh... It's a good idea. Yeah. Hi, computer. Can we, can we get, can we get something like like, like earplugs that are kind of like that

maybe, okay, how about this? Eap plugs that I have control over? Here's what I'll say. Why don't we, okay, Oliver, to describe these earmuffs to the computer, we're going to need to explain the frequency, and we might trigger the frequency. So could you wait in another room so that you can't hear what we're about to say to the computer? Sure, and he puts his fingers in his ears and he walks into the other room. Okay.

Watch the carpet. So Pepper Pee says, actually, that was going to be my suggestion. You could reprogram part of the carpet, like to just take a couple nubs out of it and use those as everything. Oh, no, they're real messy, man. You got to clean them first or something. I would never put that in somebody's ears, man. Okay, other than that, I don't necessarily have a lot of tag on board. Yeah, we'll use them.

Yeah, we'll use them. They're probably fine. Now, can we, so what is the context here? Like, if anyone starts to explain what happened, then the ear muffs will shut him down? They can harden, basically, and encompass his whole ear canal and basically. Like on a trigger word from our good friend herb here. Yeah. If you can, if you can program them to, you know, catch a cue or suck your dick,

you'd probably program them to harden on a finger. So we probably explain the situation that he can't hear and then create an algorithm that essentially, well, anything that is close to that or whatever, because you'd rather err on the side of overly blocking his ears. To me, it seems the simplest thing is herb says a word, and that word is your sort of go word to press the mute button, so to speak. Okay. What is the feasibility of engineering something such that they would be able to, in a context sensitive way, do this themselves? I can't guarantee that accuracy of any algorithm, they'll do what it does, but, you know,

this is what I'm worried about. I think our best... Well, yeah, no, that's good. I'm just worried it this way. I'll put it this way. If you want to do the algorithm thing, you'll never have to make a reaction to activate this thing,

but you do have to roll technology for it to actually work properly. If you want to do it on the trigger thing, you can do it whenever you want to, but it's going to take, like, a reaction action. You're going to basically have to roll initiative against whoever is saying the thing to do it before they say something,

assuming you don't do it, you know, in preparation. And then the technology we would have to roll that every time as well. Yeah. Oh, okay. I think we should do the algorithm then. Okay. Yeah.

That's your grandson. Essentially, you explain to you, type into the computer all the stuff that happened to him that he's not allowed to know about and then be like anything that involves this block. Essentially like China with the 10 minutes square. Yeah. I mean, there's plenty of algorithms that do this. Yeah. No, of course. Of course.

I'm going to say roll technology, like I said. Let's give that to our good friend, Ashley. I think Ashley should. Yes, I'll handle it. Make code. Jesus Christ. All right, roll technology? Okay, make code good.

You are a code expert and you're good at it. Do an impression of a code expert. Do a perfect impression of a code expert. Make code good. Work every time. Very smart. Bomboclat explosions. Very smart.

Very smart. Very good. Perfect execution 100% no notes. That's why you keep them on the party. All right. 17 plus 724. It worked. Nice.

If you hadn't said good coder, I don't know what would have happened. Pepper Pete says, but yeah, sure. And then two drops of the carpet remove itself from the mass and then roll up into spheres

and are sort of just hard and sitting on the... Wait, let's do a sanitize them first. Let me just put a chlorox wipe on them. Just real quick. Just yep. Yep. Okay.

All right. There is also a message for. you, specifically you, Ralph. Me? Yeah. Play message. The screen changes from a picture of like a red pepper doing the peanut butter jelly time dance

to, that's what he's always looked like by the line. That's consistently looked like that. That's so awesome. To an image of a very beautiful woman who you bear a role investigation or perception. Okay, got a 12. So with a 12, not quite clear, but definitely you get the sense of this person that's familiar.

And they say, Grandpa, I don't know why I made you. for that. Oh my God. It just occurred to me. Why did I make you roll for that? Obviously, she's a grandpa. They have my son. And I can't get to them. Look, I'm sending you my coordinates now. I know you guys

have the thing that makes you come fast. I mean, sorry, I should have written that. The thing that makes you go fast. And we have the smart drive. I'm sure you're making a lot of jokes about that right now. Just I'll wait like three seconds to you guys to finish laughing. And okay, so yes, yes, I'm on a war zone. Long story short,

The luminous are here mining hex diamonds, and they got my son enlisted to fight alongside me, and they got him, and I can't go after it because it's a trap to lure me in. But I know you guys could maybe sneak through, and I just need your help. If you could please, please come or arrive. That would, your great-garant son would appreciate it. Your granddaughter would appreciate it, too. Ralph stares hard at the screen, and he turns off the message, and it reveals the inky black of space.

Hey, Ralph, we can go. Yeah. What are you thinking about, Ralph? He said, thought, thought, thought. Okay, Mike Rueva. When my cookie died, when my cookie died, I wasn't there. I was, uh, and Ralph takes out his pipe. He's looking at it.

I was out smoking this. I promised her to quit. 30, 40 years, she was telling me to quit this damn thing. And I was always, I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. Be patient with me, dear. And that morning I was out of the house.

I snuck out, had my morning pipe. She went to the shower. She tripped and fell and came back in 15 minutes later. She was dead face down in a pool water. Oh, God. And I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, wasn't there. She could have been, she could have picked anyone in the world. She could have picked anyone and she picked me. I always let her down and she's always bailing me out. And when

push came to shove, I needed to be there and I wasn't. And I never want that to happen again. And there is nothing. I would want more. Our kids were maybe the one thing that I gave, I didn't even, she gave me, but we raised together. The kids redeemed it. They redeemed. They redeemed the life that she could have had, had she gone with anyone other than me, anyone other than a bum like me. There were all these things. She could have been anyone,

but she chose me, and she didn't get the life that I know she could have had, but we had the kids. And that was, you know, good enough isn't good enough, but that was good enough for her. At least that's what she told me. And so there's nothing I would rather do right now than run to my granddaughter and be there for her

in this moment, in this kind of hour of need. Okay, so let's... If we go to this spark right now, we can stop it all. We could stop everything. We're going to go to her and we're going to save her. We're going to help her. And I'm going to feel great. And while that's happening, a zillion more people are going to die.

And what's next? They're everywhere. They could come after one of your grandkids next again, right? There's no stopping it. There's always going to be someone. that needs our help because they are everywhere and they can hurt whoever they want. And all of that is on us. We have what we need to stop it right now.

And it kills me, but I think that's what we got to do. But Ralph, you just said, you know, they could go after anybody. They could kill anybody, blah, blah, blah. But this is your family, man. It's a wish. We can use it to wish whatever we want. We could wish that this kid never lost his bowling team. We could wish that none of this ever happened, and we're back at the, what have you, the game with our grandkids.

We can come up with something to undo all of it. And all of this heartbreak, Ashley, your grandson won't have to die. Dale, you could be there for your daughter while she's going through her cancer. Her, my God, man, like, you could go back to your life. All this trauma, we could spare our grandkids this. All we have to do is just cut a straight line, otherwise we're just running around. Ralph, you know who you sound like? I know.

You sound like them. You sound like you want to click a switch And everybody who's died comes back to life I want to stop them from doing what they're doing That's the difference. I don't look. But they can't. I hear that.

I just wishes Wishes aren't real. If anything, I've just seen that there's all these people doing all these horrible things for a wish that they think is good or they think we'll fix it. I'm not smart, you know,

I was going to say cookie, but I don't know how the spark works. I just know that, again, I stand by what I was saying originally. I just want to stop people from using it. I would never trust myself. I don't want to undo even the bad things in my life that has happened. Anything that can change, you know, bad things happen. So we can stop certain bad things from happening,

but then more bad things will happen in a different way, I guess, is what I'm saying. And I want to stop them. I think they can't do anything while we have this an owl, right? They're doing something right now. They're killing thousands of people. Yes. But they must know that we have this option, right? They must know that we could end all of this right now by be lying straight from a...

I mean, we think we can. We can go the spark and... Like, think about it from their perspective for a second. It doesn't make sense. They know that we could end this. So why would they provoke us? They're trying to force our hand. Yeah.

If we went to the spark, Ralph. And again, I want to know, because it's your grandkid and your great grandkate, congratulations, by the way. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome, yeah. And I haven't known you that long, and I obviously didn't get the pleasure or no cookie. But if you were even half the man, you were with her as you are with us, I'm sure she loved you, right? And I know she loved me.

That's the- And I know you're worthy of that because you're a good guy. Absolutely. You're good guy. I've known a lot of people in my life. All right. Okay. All right.

You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You're right. Just stay out of it. Okay. Okay. What's your point? That's fine. My point is I want to help as many people as possible.

I am not sure that going to the spark is the right call. But if everybody else wants to do that, I just think the spark is dangerous. I think we're going for a wish. We're not going with a plan. We're going because we hope that if we go to this center of the universe thing, that we can just snap our fingers or make a sentence the right way that then makes everything happen.

And if that was the case, people would have figured it out a long time ago. I just think it's nothing but death and despair if we go there. I can't, I guess, go cause death and despair just because other people are causing it. I want to stop them, but I don't know if using the spark is the right way to stop them. I agree with Dale, but also, Ralph, if this is what you want to do, I could hear out that argument too. It's just, listen, when you say stuff like, oh, Cook, you shouldn't have love me or like, you know, I wasn't worthy of her love. You disrespect her memory by saying that.

You think she didn't know what she was doing. Of course she did. Of course she did, man. Herb. Back off. I'm only going to say it once. I appreciate it. I understand what you guys are trying to do.

And it's something I've tried to do for myself for a very long time. But you don't know me. You've known me for three goddamn weeks or however long we've been on this cursed adventure. And you don't know me, man. You're a fucking mind field right now. You don't know me, man. All right. So that's all I'm saying.

Fine. I don't know you. I don't know any. We're four strangers in this together. I appreciate and I've come to trust you. but you're walking into a minefield, okay? So that's all. That door is closed, okay?

Let's all step out of a minefield. All right, all right, yeah. I think we're all trying to do the right thing here. I ask you, if you want to go save your great grandkid, I'm down for going to do that while ride or die for any one of us who wants to go do something. If we don't, I'm not saying that you don't want to. If that's not the plan, then let's discuss what we do next. I've stated my concerns about how dangerous the spark is.

Let's go to Asia. Let's do it. Fuck. Let's go to aha. Let's go. Let's go. I understand what you're saying. I get it.

It doesn't feel good. It feels like I'm getting jerked around. It doesn't feel like the best option. It feels like the good enough option to play their fucking game. And I don't want to do it, but you're right. And if I wasn't so gosh darn T-Oed right now, I would be ready to go. So I could see it.

Because you know what? If it was one of you saying this, I would have the same high-minded lecture. I'd quote scripture and say that it's not right for man to play God. And I understand all that. And deep down, I get that. And I know that that's what Cookie would want. She wouldn't want me to do anything crazy. So we're going to go.

Okay. But we need to solve this problem. We got to play offense and defense here, boys. We can't just be putting out fires left and right while they're running the table. So we need to think about it. I agree with that. And it's going to involve hard choices. This is a hard choice.

I just want to say all I know is I can only do the best I can with what we got here. And we're all old guys. We've lived a lot. And we all, you are a young whippersnapper, but we've only known each other for a bit. But only us have experienced what we have together. And we need to stick together. We need to respect each other. And we don't know each other well.

But I've lived long enough to know that I've known people for a long time and knew nothing about them. and I've known people for moments, and I feel like I've known them forever. And, you know, I trust you three, whatever we need to do. We are all in this situation, Ralph, okay? Okay.

It's a hard thing. All right. I don't want to look. I ate some classy problems to have. We're going to go save Mike. I'm going to go meet my, I'm going to go meet my great grandson and see the kind of woman that has become.

So silver linings. Silver linings. There's not a lot of them right now. All right. So let's go. Let's go. I'll be in my room. All right.

You want a thing from the microwave or anything? Yeah, just leave some popcorn outside the door. Okay. Popcorn just comes out. Nice. All right, I'm going to leave this outside the door. Hey, hey, guys. Hey, guys.

Oh, scrap, wreckage. Oh, my God. It seemed like things are pretty heated, but I just want to make sure you guys were okay. Oh, I mean, I think everybody's not okay. Yeah, that's fair. Like the whole universe. Are you okay? Are you guys okay?

No, we're good. I mean, we're glad that you're alive. We thought that you were in the ship, but then it was that guy. Why are you whispering? Because we're doing upset Ralph. Oh, he's in his room now. That's very sweet. Yeah.

Won't come on in so you can talk normal? No. Scrap. Rackage. Yeah. What have you seen? We've heard the universe is going crazy right now. Yeah.

I mean, we pick out some air at radio signals and it sounds like, yeah, there's a lot of. Yeah, there's a lot of. Yeah, there's a lot of. Yeah. We don't know what time, do they? It's important. Scrap Records, what have you seen? Well, the station, the Space Station.

They might haven't even know yet. Yeah, we're pretty much not, you know, what happens up with you? We hear the universe is going crazy right now. We might have pissed off a guy pretty bad, and that guy is a lot of guys. We pissed off a lot of guys across the universe real bad, and they're just killing, killing them discriminately. Oh, man, how can we help? Dale's going to open up the briefcase so that Al can pop out. Hey, I'm back to this voice now, sorry.

You heard everything going on, right? Yeah. Yeah. What should we do? I can't make that decision for you. I'm just another guy. Yeah, I know. Well, you're pretty smart guy.

I'll put it this way. I've been running calculations for basically a year since you last saw me. Fucking nerd. What's going to happen? Thank you. What's going to happen when we get to the spark? Yeah. And I know that it's going to feel probably instantaneous for us.

But do you ever see movie Sunshine? Yeah. You know how when they get really close to the sun? physics stops working. Well, it happened to me, man. I know. Right. Okay.

It's going to be like that. I don't know what will happen when we go into the spark. And I think you should probably know it might well be a one-way trip. I'm not concerned. I mean, you know, everything's a one-way trip. Yeah.

I'm more just like my grandkid played this game, Ocarina of Time. And what I'm worried about is a lot of times in this, Matt Arnold. And these stories, my grandkids' best friend, Matt Arnold. Shut the fuck out. I, the guy from Top Gun, have a grandson whose best friend was Matt Arnold.

And sometimes you go to get the Master Sword. And that's exactly what the bag I wanted you to do. Because if you didn't go to go do that thing in the first place, the bag I could never got into the door in the first place. So what I'm worried about. Remarkable acuity of understanding of the plot of an N-64 game. Describe to you by your grandson's friend. So my concern

That really speaks to the quality of the game And the storytelling that Nintendo brings And the lack of social intelligence that Matt Arnold had as a kid To explain all that to a grandfather My concern is that And I hate not doing something But I think that's what happens in these stories Is that the last thing you want to do is not do something

So you're driven by the need to do something So then you go do it And that thing that you are driven to do Was always going to be the bad thing to do Whereas sometimes the most courageous thing is to do nothing History is just full of people who did nothing that are called cowards, but they probably should. They were the right person to do it in the first place

because of doing something, caused something to happen. So what I'm worried about is that the spark can't do anything right now. It's just a wish. It's just a dream. It's just something that people think can fix the whole universe. And then we wander in there like a bunch of idiots thinking to do the right thing. And we open the door. And then we cause Hyrule to fall. That's the name of the land.

And Lonlon Ritch changes forever. You may have a point because as part of my calculations, the nightcrawler engine can make a bubble within which everything will basically be taken along in the teleport, but it's too volatile for me to keep it just around the ship. I have to make it like considerably bigger than the ship. And hypothetically, there is a chance, especially given the fact that the spark is surrounded on all sides by gajillion ships at all times, that someone could fly into that bubble and go in with us. So there is the possibility that we would be bringing other people.

I just kind of thought, when I left- On a pretty strong note that debate was over and then we were going to go rescue my granddaughter. Well, we're talking. We're driving. We're going while we drive. Well, are we going or what? Yeah, we're heading towards your great-grand kid. Over there then.

Oh, we are? You're like, what? And then everything goes bright white for a second and you feel your entire body stretch in a way that feels very unnatural. I don't want to talk to these guys anymore. He's like, where are they? Are they having a philosophical discussion without me? A morality to play. There are people I could be judging right now.

You feel yourself gets stretched almost into spaghetti, but before you snap. Dude, we were all like, whoa, the deal's like, first time. First time. And then everything snaps back to reality. The gravity does remain in the ship. But you are now outside of a planet. It looks like a very pockmarked planet. Even as you're looking at it, you see meteorites falling into it and impacting against the surface.

And beyond that, you see little lights popping on and off down on the surface that make you think probably those are explosions or gunfire or something along those lines. I mean, you can see a large concentration of this otherwise relatively barren planet other than the craters and stuff. There's a what looks to be a bunch of machinery and a bunch of like civilization stuff around one specific. Okay, well, we're there, Ralph. I'm never going to get used to that. Is there a way to reply back to the, can I hail my granddaughter? Can I call aha?

Oh, yeah, sure. I'm assuming she's down there somewhere. Is there a way? Because sometimes, you know, they say sleep on it. And it feels like Ralph needs some time to decompress. Can we like have that time but not waste time? Just go a little slower. No, we're here.

It's all right. I'm still crying. But let me just, how do I look, boys? I just say, I, am I so puffy? Yeah, you are. No, I mean, you look sensitive and strong. Okay. Yeah, you look sensitive, strong.

You look puffy, but that's, I'm your friends. I'll tell you. I hope you tell me if I got something in my teeth. Just give me two seconds to apply a cold compress to my face. Of course. Of course. Nowadays there's a thing called a fragile man. Oh, no.

We got rid of the fridge and the freezer, man. Oh, no, we don't have it. We just have hot compresses. Hot. Micro. Yes. Can you inverse microwave? If I could do that, you would not be the Friday.

Yeah, it's true. Well, you know, funny thing about that. Hey, when we're gone, ponder that. Okay. Like, think if there's a way. Because what you do is, you could become rich. Because that is something people could use. I will do my bag.

I could also make these cold fast. Because what you're doing is your exciting molecules. What if you cool down the molecules? Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure that's possible within a much larger machine, but I am meant to be small to be on luxury limousines. Oh, yeah, I hear that. Okay, Ralph.

I can tell that. Anyway, here's the popcorn. Nice. Thank you. Open a frequency to my granddaughter. Opening frequency. Who was that? That was me, Pepper Pete.

That's the noise I make when I'm thinking. Pepper Pete does pilot voice when he's freaking radio talking. Nice. Welcome to the, you need to look down below. We'll see the planet to death. You look at the right window, you'll see some craters. That was really good. Yeah.

So the video screen switches to an image of the exact person that you saw previously in what looks to be the exact same location, more or less the exact same age. How old is she know? She like Oliver's in her 50s. Okay. Because you didn't spend any extra time getting in her, so she and Oliver the same age. And she goes, Grandma, oh, you're here. Oh, oh, you got the drop.

Okay, great. Oh, oh. I was so worried you were going to spend like, you know, year. Oh, okay. Okay, we're good. How are you doing? Honey, it's so good to say, oh, my God. You're, don't take this the wrong way, but you're so fucking old.

Oh, my God. I don't know too many. I miss so much. I go. You did, but I. You look great, though. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just, are you okay? What was your life? Are you all right? My life is not good right now, but it has been good. I met somebody.

We had a kid. I got pregnant. That's great. Not in that order, though, right? Yeah. I met somebody. We got married. We got pregnant.

No, he said you met somebody. You had a kid. You got pregnant. Yeah, yeah. I got a womb and everything. I got all my surgery and stuff done. I'm finally myself. So that felt amazing.

I felt great in a way that I never felt before. I felt like me. And now I have this kid that looks like a small version of me. And I got to raise him. And like, I understand now. I understand all the stuff that you said about my parents and the thing that every adult says about kids. in terms of like, oh, I was like, oh, there's a point to this now.

I was just existing. I thought I wanted to just be this warrior and sort of solve the problem of the fight. But it turns out it was all about him. And then he wanted to join me in the fight because it wouldn't fucking end. And I was so upset the idea of not being there when something happened to him that, you know. It seems like she's about to stay like you, but she just stops herself. Yeah, he joined along. And he went out on a recon mission and they captured him and they say they're going to kill him.

if I don't come and get him back, but I know that they want that to lure me into a trap because I'm exceptionally good at my job, and they want me out of the picture, and they don't know that you're coming, and they're not scanning for any of the tech and weird shit that you guys have, so I'm just asking you if you could, like, dirty dozen this, maybe.

You just point me in the right direction. Okay, great. We're going to take care of it. Grandpa's here. Grandpa's friends are here. Yeah, hi. And we're going to need your help. We're going to need eight more people.

And for to make a dozen, We're going to need a couple more people. And so we're going to need some seasoned operators. We got your buddy Ollie here with us, too. We got scrapping records too. That's true. Oh, Oliver. Hey, are you okay?

You kind of went dark after the... And then as far as Oliver's concerned, all of a sudden, everything hardens up and, like, he can't hear anything that she's saying as she describes the court marshaled he went through and all that kind of stuff. Signal's coming in a little weird. You need to... Well, I'll explain more about that. There's some things. you need to know about Ollie that will get explained when I talk to you.

I'm going to give you coordinates for our landing pad. I'll tell everybody not to shoot you down. Nice. There's basically no man's land separating us from the luminous, and you're just going to make sure to land on our side. Got it. So she transmits the coordinates and scrap and wreckage say, like, Hey, do you guys want us to stay up here and sort of wait for you?

Do you want to go down in like a shuttle? I guess you got to bring the Lux because you don't have the shuttle anymore, but should we hang it up here? Should we go down with you? What do you think? Yeah, hang out up here just in case. Can you go down on planets? Yeah.

You what? You fly atmospherically? Yeah, I mean, it's not my favorite thing to do. It requires a lot of effort to stay up. And if I fall, it's like a whole to do. We carry people. Wrecked. Yeah.

Wait, we can fly sharks? A mouth of it? Through the atmosphere? Yeah. I mean, I guess. Okay, no focus. Okay. Describe, right?

Do you have a very important job. We're about to take the most valuable ship in the universe, the ship that can go to the spark, onto a planet half occupied by the enemy. So here's what's going to happen. I need the two of you orbiting over the ship. If we give you the signal or if you see the ship get commandeered, you descend and you tear it to shreds.

Yeah, you eat it up. You had me a shreds. You had me a tear. Yeah, we'll absolutely do that. No problem. That's a good idea, Ralph. We should probably... Wait, are we thinking Al is Al staying up there?

Oh, yeah, we should take Al with us because he's like the keys for the ship. They need Al to pilot, right? They don't need him to pilot. They need him to use the night crawler drives. Yes, but he's a part of, they need owls. They cannot teleport anywhere without Al. So, yeah, Al, you're coming along in the briefcase.

Okay. I make the briefcase into a backpack, so that's easier to carry. Because that another strap is very easy. Okay. Before we land, we should also disguise the ship. Because they probably know what the Lux looks like. So are there any ways to disguise otherwise? Modify the ship.

Crap. Wreckage. Do little bites. Just kind of tear it up a little bit and then go find out of the scrap and wreckage and just kind of dirty it up. And then just be munching on it casually. Yeah, like accent bites. Yeah, to help sell that, it's just like a wreck ship. It's just a floating, derelict piece of wreckage in space.

Yeah. Okay, yeah, I guess there's enough wreckage out here that you could pass as that. It would mean that the ship would have to stay in orbit. We'd go down, drop you off, and then you'd come back. Okay. Yeah, that's good. You're okay with that. Yeah.

Yeah, that's fine. We don't need a mount. Okay. All right, so that's what we do. Okay. If the ship drops us off, it takes off back into space, they pretend to nom on it. They dropped us off. We rode on two sharks down to the planet.

Oh, you never. I never brought the ship down. I don't know. Because we all, I want one ride on these sharks. We can't even do a once. Fucking two on each. Yay!

You put his hair like a fucking never-ending story. Is that bone where like... Ha-ha's down on the planet with the binoculars. Like, I don't get it. They said their ship would be here. All I see are two sharks with four men on them. Wait a second. Wait a minute.

Oliver, I didn't know if you wanted to come or stay. It might be safer for you to stay. But I don't... I want to come in me if this is about, you know, The luminous and stuff, I'm as good as, I mean, well, I can't pilot anymore. You know, he should come. Remember, the plan B for the ship is to destroy it. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, come on. Come on with us, Oliver. Okay. So he heads down with you, and you feel the energy of the sharks beginning to accelerate to a speed that you did not know they were capable of because obviously they need to break through the atmosphere. And they go, hold on, hold on. You can grab my kills if you need to. And they go.

Just going to get burned to a breast And they scream through the fucking atmosphere You do see their noses beginning to black in a little bit Skydive naked from a narrow plane Nothing we can do now Whoa! Next time my heart And you feel

You jerk forward for a second As suddenly you get through the atmosphere And you slow down a little bit Well actually pretty considerably As they have to like decelerate as quickly as they can They basically just like turn their fins Like perpendicular Do their peels fucking blow out in the opposite direction?

Yeah, yeah exactly Dude, we really underestimate Scrap and Ragged to the first rule. They tree onto the fucking land and fucking leave. Acura slide onto the fucking landing pad. I don't need a tip.

You guys have tips with the ships that you go on? Like I say, you can eat all non-necessary parts of the ship. That's what you can eat 15, 20 or 25% of the ship. It's going to ask you a few questions. Okay, well, we need help to get back up.

Do you guys? They look over at AHA who's like waving you over as she walks up to the landing pad. He's like, do you guys have like a rocket or something that we could use to break orbit

because we can't really go that fast. Oh, you can't get back up? This is kind of a major oversight, man. I knew they had rockets, so I was okay with doing it. We were okay with doing it. Does your species live on planets

or in space? Space. So you're not normally go on to planets. Not normally. But you've been evolved to be able to break atmosphere. You're an incredible species. Usually that speed is to get away from things.

It also happens to But then you get stuck on the planet. Yeah. I did just because I like you guys. It's like a beach now. It's like a beach. Oh, yeah. There's some creatures that, you know, they live in the ocean.

They get out and then they're stuck. If you want us back up in the sky, we just need a couple of rockets. Is that okay? And I was like, yeah, I can take the warheads out of a couple of missiles and like strap them to you and then shoot you into space if that's what you are. That's awesome. Yes, not the warheads. And they go, okay, cool.

Well, we're going to do that. Fair for the common man starts playing. That's one small step for shark. One giant step for shark kind. They're just going back where they came from. We're going home. Yeah, they get strapped into these. In what is a less scientific-looking kind of rig than you were hoping to see?

They basically just rope them around these fucking missiles. Wiley coyote roller skates are set up. Very Acme. I think they should roll a D-100 to see if it blows up in the atmosphere. If it's a one, they die. Oh, Matt. It's not going to happen as 100. Why would Matt say stuff?

The second they launch, they immediately, like a firecracker going to get in a horse. They're fucking leaving contrails in the air and shit like that. Spelling out like, oh, geez. And the rockets then go into the sky, basically, and they disappear. You strapped them to the birthday rockets. Right. No, those are gender reveal rockets. They're going to blow.

And they both come out purple because who knows. You hear in the very far distance just before they hit the atmosphere and enter the vacuum of space. You hear like two pops. And you'll find out what happened to Scrap and Wreckage in two weeks on the next episode of Grandpaws and Galaxies. On the next episode of Grandpas and Galaxies, Scrap, Reckage, come in.

What was that? What was that? What happened to them? Oh, nothing. They just blew, though. Yeah. We just detached from them and then they blew up. Thanks so much for tuning in.

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I got 11. That was close.