Dwarf Fortress Roundtable - Ep. 69: The Life and Times of Tira Equaataria

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

Welcome to our experimental podcast of us recording a gaming session of Adventurer Mode. Let us know if it translates at all to audio! Thanks so much to Tekkud for depicting your humble podcast hosts... it's up to you to decide which of us is the one with red eyes :).

Welcome to Dwarf Fortress Roundtable, the podcast for all things Dwarfy. Every couple weeks or so, your hosts gather to talk about our favorite game, Dwarf Fortress. So let's join your hosts, Roland. How large is your screen? Tony. Had the stream go away. It didn't go well. Discord. Go away.

And Jonathan... We've got the stream on YouTube set now to ultra-low latency. As they present insightful, irreverent, and often incorrect analysis. And always remember, losing is fun. So we're going to do some adventurer. Adventurer mode. Fantastic. So what's... Practice mode.

I should say, you know, today on a very special Dwar Fortress Round Table, we're playing adventurer mode. watch us lose again and again again and again and again get kicked in the face for the first time should I use that old world that's really hard for adventure

or should we spin up the other definitely old one old dog okay we have a folder called old world that is very hard and who do we want to be and how do we want to do this I hope for an animal person okay

what about rat man good old rat man rat man are really cute but they're also kind of tiny so we have to keep that grasshopper man I don't think they can swim

because it's an insect can they fly that is a good question actually glittered phantom's hand that's you know one of my personal favorites or the lorkeet man they don't need to swim they just fly right over they can fly

definitely yeah yeah or red man what do you guys think I think their Renman is too small okay my most personal favorite

is actually be hyena men because I can play like a hobgoblin got it intelligent wilderness creature wow that's a lot of creatures

it's a lot of creatures it's an old world whereas hyena man there he is yeah okay horseshoe crab man you

you can definitely swim with that one. We're just a hero. Did we want to be a demigod? I don't think it matters too much because I don't assume we're going to live long either way. I feel like we might get a couple of tries here at this. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. If we're here, you can just choose a demigod now, I guess. Let's do it. I mean, you know, give ourselves every possible advantage that we have. Hainaman. Here we go. Hainaman. Small

tidbit, the cool thing about hyena men is also they have the exact same size of dwarfs. They can wear the same clothing size as dwarfs. Very practical. It took me a long time before I realized that you could not wear

humans armor. So I was buying armor from the human caravans. So it's a little not well-fitting. It's a large breastplate. And then later I realized that they can't even use them. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you guys think?

Pass of brass? I think it could be a pain in the ass or we do the yellow dune. No, what do you guys think? The rhyming makes the pass of brass and the pain in the ass should be the one. I think passive brass. Also, we're kind of closer to a purple area

with the passive. Oh, perfect. So, hey. There is an elven forest retreat. Some dozens live there. Labor cloudy. That is a beautiful name. Well, the first challenge here is everything that we can start in is an elven forest retreat.

So we're going to be stuck in the tree and we're going to laugh and live and love climbing down out of the trees first. Okay, so here we go. Hyena Man, heat bear or fist to glitter. Holy crap. Can you get us slightly higher? I think there must be one thing that is like slightly more north than what we have right now. Because I really want to get to the upper purple area. Like zoom in.

Oh, no. Oh, I see. So fist glitter is out, which honestly would be a pretty killer metal band name. If anybody's a metal band names. Welcome. We're fist glitter. Humid veil probably applies. Okay, so we're all in the south here.

All these stupid elves are in the south. Sorry, all of these amazing creative wonderful. Go back. This one? Go back. Yeah. Yeah. This guy right here.

Tell seasons. Hmm. So what Tony and Roland are arguing about is where to start. Disgusting. Our player. I have no. I don't care. I just,

the only reason, see, Roland's looking tactically and I'm like, oh, I like the thing of paste cloudy. That sounds amazing. Yeah, that's how I'm choosing.

And I like blue. Oh, by the way, I think we're starting with this one next to like a large eye, so like a tower. but it's not purple, so there might be somebody else in there. Is this the eye with the, I was going to call it, it's what it's as a circumflex?

I don't know what that's called. No, no, next to it. Oh, yes, I see that eye. Oh, no, that's great. Yeah, that's pretty good. Also, by the way, you can also change both the occupation and the beliefs. I'm not sure if we can actually get around to change the beliefs or the occupation because you don't actually get too much choices.

sometimes, but if we want to be an animal caretaker It won't let me choose Heat Bear Okay, I don't know how do we change the occupation beliefs, maybe when I hit Y it's going to do it. Nope. No, no, I think you have to do with the

arrow keys thing. Oh, there we go. Oh, look at what we can do. Animal caretaker, craftsmen, we are a traitor. Okay, so yeah, it's, it sadly doesn't really matter what we take here, but we do had some bonuses in what we

start as. So for example, if we start as a wever, we start with some base skill and weaving. We don't really need it, but... That sounds super helpful. Definitely. I mean, if we want to settle down and have a nice life. Yeah, maybe

we do. Maybe we set up, uh, maybe this is us setting up a shop for the zombie hordes. The hyena man, maker of sarapes. Hey, have we moved somehow? We, we're, We're a different X flashing now. Yes.

Something has gone. You are also still on an eye, though. Yeah, but we're not on the eye. We're on the circumflex eye, but not on the eye with the eye. It was tail seasons. Tell seasons. Yes. Was it?

Yes, that's what we want. Okay. Okay, so should we want to, should we be a craftsman? That sounds like it might be handy. Sure. Yeah. Perfect. The Leafs?

None. Perfect. Just like me. Oh, sorry. It's bad. Okay. Oh, no, look, we can believe or doubt. Nope, nope, nothing. Okay, none it is then. Tech had said that he's confessing that he's never selected adventurer mode from the menu in Door 14. Wait, what? What do you mean? Well, that's fantastic. Nothing we can do could disappoint him then. Great.

Fantastic. It's a clean sleigh. Oh, well, you know what I'm going to do? Here's obviously what we have to do. We have to make this guy an expert. professional great master I'm a master grandmaster no no no is that not right okay no not quite

not quite but since what the hell is a napper good question actually can make arrowheads out of stone I think is what it is

flint napping where you tech tack tack to make those so we can be a cave dweather perfect I'm pretty sure

the best one to get is kinetic sense kinesthetics Well, don't worry, we have 105 points so we can get everything into above average, at least. All right, should we do that for all of these things? Just go above average on everything.

I mean, we have enough points to just do it, but... This guy's going to be a walking, talking, Dunning Kruger. Yeah, yeah. There we go. Perfect. How about that? Beautiful. Oh, 10 attributes remaining. Okay, do we want to make him any tougher?

More agile. I want to make it so we can climb down out of the trees better. I like endurance. Endurance it is. Done. All right. I know from having done this before, swimmer usually you want to put in there.

And reader. Reader. Yep, that would suck. Because if we actually end up in the tower, you know, we might actually want to read something. Obviously. No. Okay.

We want, I don't know. Some of these are the best. It does not need to be a high master poet. Oh, my God. Some of these are just the absolute best. Stringed instrumentalist. Stringed instrumental. I actually made like a bar type, so I put everything into like musicality and being

able to sing and to play instruments. And that was a really fun run. So I did that one time and was killed instantly. I hit the ground by a bear. And I was like, okay, well, that's appropriate somehow. Oh, the English major gets mold by a bear. It happens every day. Swordsman.

No, I think. I think we want Axx, Axeman, right? Because then we can cut down trees. Is that ready? Oh, this guy can't use axes. No, there is no axe. Also, be aware that if we start as an Elven community member, we only start with the Elvin equipment, aka we're going to have a sharp stick.

Oh, yeah, that sucks. All right. So what do we want here? I would actually say that the sharp stick is going to slow us down a lot, but go for, yeah, Spearman. Spearman might be good because, you know, a sharp stick.

Proficient, for sure. Be a wrestler. What about a rider? We want him to be a writer. Ressler, sure. Let's get one of those Luchadora masks. And some dodging as well.

Dodging, sure. Maybe an armor user? I don't know about that because we... Oh, no, he's just going to have wood. Yeah, exactly. We won't need it because it's pretty bad anyway. Should we make him a flatterer? A flatterer actually does help in the social interactions with the people.

So, yeah, sure. Great. Looks like we're a bone carver and a glassmaker already. That's just... Wow. And glazer and leather worker. Wow, this is pretty cool. Okay.

Appraiser or bliss. When we chose Demigod, did that just give us more points that we can add to our skills and things? Yes. Okay. Shall we just toss some points into some of this other stuff here. Yeah, maybe some... You're going to want to be a climber. Yeah, and maybe some fighting as well.

Perfect. There, he's pretty competent. We can cheese a lot by putting some stuff into miscellaneous object user. So we can beat people with the... I don't know, everything we find. You got to make him a liar. Make him a master liar. Oh, yes.

Done. Competence, best I can do. Oh, that's pretty good. We only got one more stat. Comedian. One more. Comedian, yeah. Comedian, perfect.

Those are funny stories you're telling there. This guy's going to be amazing. Okay, let's go to, okay, next it is. His hair is tan with black spots. His skin is Ekru. Oh, my favorite color, Ekru. Is that the color of the things in, um, what's that film with the blue people? Is that what it is, the one that's coming out again?

I think Akru is like black, brownish, not blue. Okay, perfect. I don't know. Click Google. I don't know. A grayish to pale yellow or light grayish-yellowish-brown. Perfect. A beige color.

Okay. So he looks like he's got hepatitis. Brilliant. Okay. All right. Okay. Well, look at he really. Now I'm having trouble, remember the name of that movie.

I'm fucking avast, but that's not that. I know. What is that movie with the creepy blue people? The freaking. Oh, God. And they're making a new one. It starts with an a, a something. Yeah.

Avatar. Avatar. Yeah. Avatar. Thank you. Not the Airbender one, the creepy blue people one. No, there is no airbender movie. That's true.

They never made that. Okay, so this guy's pretty chill. Yeah, denial works. He's actually pretty chill, but lives a fast-paced life. That's great. We do have to change that one, though. Yeah. We need to actually read this when we did the description here.

Can you see his merry-making as a waste? Because we're about to like, do the hell yeah. So, I have never seen this. This is taking, this is like Excel. The viewers at home, no. Yeah. Just picked a screen that has excruciatingly stupid detail about everything about this person. Yeah, this is the best.

Who's going to die? This is the best thing. A few moments. Actually, funny story. When I do a, like an RPG character in like role-playing games I do, then a lot of times I make him in Dwarfortres in the single-player mode and just copy-paste the description of the character. Because that's pretty good.

Grief, what has happened? So what we actually want to do is... This is why it takes longer to create a dwarf fortress character and adventure mode. We need to time this. We need to time this. We need to actually make it Dungeons and Dragons. What we should do is see just how long it's going to take us to create this

versus how long before it dies. It's going to die very quickly. I have a prediction here. Let's just mash a few things in here then. I want one thing, and that is the vulnerability to stress, as in the blues. Okay. And that should be full on the left. That's, okay.

So we want to make this dude super chill. There we go. Yeah, yeah. It actually helps a lot with stress management and single player, because otherwise he will start to freak out after time. Got it. Oh, look. could, this is swayed by emotions. Uh, look, emotionally obsessive, let's, let's just not make

him worried about that. Woodworkers unite. Attention members and guests. Brandon Wright, administrator of the creative attic, guild hall for the woodworkers of the Hall of Earth, beckons all guild members to behold the artifact a due last chiro's complex for the holy pack, a chestnut cup, on display now at the creative attic. Contact Hall Administrator Brandon Wright at the Creative Attic for more information. What else do we think here? He has to be funny.

He has to be actually funny. Right, so let's make him zany. Zany is this guy. He's going to be absolutely zany. And you know what he's going to do? He's going to be really thankful of all the people around him. He's polite. He's a great flatterer.

Everyone's going to like this guy. Don't put everything on the three things. It's going to fuck his character out. All right. Here we go. Okay. He's an absolute bluver and sees marry me. He goes, oh, gosh, this guy sounds fun.

He's super chill and peruse you think. Okay, wonderful. Okay. We actually need to read this. Okay. Oh, yes. Well, before we carry on. Okay.

Go for it. This is a Tira Equatera, or Tira Labor Cloud. A hyena man, demigod. He personally is an abysmal. absolute believer in the rule of law and sees merrymaking as a waste. He dreams of seeing the great natural places of the world. He has an incredibly calm demeanor. He is impervious to the effects of stress.

He exhibits refined politeness and is determined to keep the guiding rules of etiquette and decorum, as if life itself depended on it. Well. He unerringly returns favors and has a profound sense of gratitude for the kind actions of others. he finds something humorous and everything, no matter how serious or inappropriate. He does not have feelings of emotional attachment

and has never felt even a moment's connection with another being. Well, he's going to be canceled. He's absolutely canceled. So we have a sociopath here. He's a sociopath. He's really nice and does not have any emotional connection with anything else in the world.

We need to take his Twitter away. Okay, let's see. He rarely looks on other. with lust. He's sometimes cruel. He tends to be stubborn and changing his mind about things. He's curious and eager to learn. He has a tendency to consider

ideas and abstractions over practical applications. He lives a fast-paced life. He's Patrick Baton. Like others in his culture, he holds nature to be of greater value than most aspects of civilization. Values family. Values cunning. Values harmonious existence. Sees competition as reasonably important

and finds those that deny their impulses somewhat stiff. All right So he has Lots of conflicting He's going to be amazing Well here we go Yolo

All right next Here's the Here's the crap That we have to choose from Now this is really Really really important Okay This is going to help

Oof Okay Do you think this hemp loincloth Is this why he's so Why he's so chill If these guys are making Everything from him Definitely

It's helping So what do you reckon here? What does this cat need to make it in this crazy world? Well, let's click on N to maybe add a new item and see what we can actually do add. Can you go to weapons? I don't think we have anything. Coffee with long swords.

Yeah, that is all wood. Ogunny, willow, durian. Oh, durian. Well, it would smell bad while you bash them. So earlier, you guys mentioned that he would have pointy sticks. what makes him only have access to elven stuff because he's part of the elven civilization gotcha okay

you can see that way you start right after you choose the race obviously if you choose elf you know but a lot of the wilderness creatures are also elves for some god-forsaken reason okay an elf in a necromancer tower this should be great should we go with Swarrow Longsore

a swarrow spear or do we want durian it's a tough choice what is a soft wood what is really soft wood cum quat balsa I bet you sororos got to be soft it's a cactus

oh yeah because I'm a targwood okay there we go that's what he's got perfect and should we make it nice do we want to get rid of the lighty wood spear

yeah Okay, well, I don't know how to do that, so Just, I think it's Q, yeah, Colin. All right, should we give him something else? Yes, the comment says two water skins, so we're going to give him another water skin. Maybe we want to add a leather, if that's possible. I hope so.

Tell me, how did you get rid of the item? Oh, I used the minus key. Okay. Yeah, that did it. And I used the plus to give him another water skin. No, no, no, no, no, not another key nav. We want the key half. It's different.

It is. Okay. I think that's like cloth. Okay. Oh, look. We can have... Aw. It will be infused.

Cotton. That's that going to work. It's leaking. Okay. All right. Cotton it is. Done. Brilliant.

This guy's going to die of thirst. Great. What else is he? Do you need anything else? Food? Does he need food? Why is my water skin soggy? I think it's just like a wet sock to be honest

Should we give him some food? Probably he wants to eat Let's give him durian I'm not even Oh God, durians out of all things I don't I'm not even sure If I'm actually can eat fruit Do you know Durian is a really smelly controversial

I say controversial It's like either you like it or you hate it fruit from Southeast Asia Yeah it looks like a green mace and it smells like garbage that has been left out in the sun. Like kimchi? No, very different. Yeah, in a very kind of different way. And I mean, you can, it, I will, I'll say I've had some nice durian, but yeah, I totally get it.

You don't want it. It's great great. Anyway, you wouldn't want to carry it around in a backpack. Let's just say that. And they're huge and spiky. So, great. Next. Oh, do we want anything else for this?

guy or is he got what you need to? Can you just click on an end so we can scroll through? Maybe go for what is in Kraft No Coffeewood amulets That is all this wood That is so annoying

Crappety crap crap basically It's just puzzle boxes no Do we have a shield? Give him a toy boat Yes I got it Let's give him a toy boat Why not? We have enough points Coffeewood toy boat Fun

Done perfect what else do we want uh let's give him let's give him an instrument no not some sand but uh some some instrument maybe it's give him an instrument let's give him a oh gosh i never know do i want the thrilliv or the clubby it's just well get him a thalier because you could uh you could imagine that says the liar oh yeah when he's walking around with a liar let's go with pommolo i feel like that's what this guy would like okay what's this a tiny hand held conical bore wooden wind instrument with a flared bell.

The musician... The musician... The fipple. The fipple and the one end. The musician selects the pitch by pressing keys to stop holes. The instrument has a three and a half

octave range going from a mid-high to an extremely high pitch. I have no idea how to... It sounds like a recorder. It's like a recorder, yeah. A recorder with a big bell.

Perfect. This is going to be great. Thanks, Tarn. I think we're pretty much done at this point. Yeah, let's just move on. Check the comments here. All right, next. Mounts and pass.

Now, let's see. Let's get an aye-eye. But not the child. But do go down because we might get to actually have some other apes. What about a bonobo? Banobo. We can get a bonobo. in the chat

Rattle Salad was wondering what happens if a player character is gone insane in adventurer mode What if you start insane? That is actually a really good question That is a good

Let's see what happens Let's try it You can continue to force feed them though Because you can just say like Eat and drink So he's not going to stop eating And drinking But

Yeah Good question We can get a war cheetah Should we get him a war cheetah? That seems pretty bad. Can you match it? No, I think they're too small. Okay.

We can try. Crow. Hunting giant leopard. Giant leopards? Yeah, giant leopard. Should we grab that? Yes. Yeah.

We can ride that. Or do we want a giant war leopard? What do we want? Hunting or war? Get one of each. Oh, we're out of points. Be like Beastmaster. It's really tough.

Well, we're going to take the hunting one, I guess. Does that sound all right? Or no, we can unhunt. The hunting giant leopard, yeah. I don't have to subtract it. I can't figure out. Oh, here it is. Wait a sec.

No. Go away. R. Okay. There we go. Let's get the, we want the war giant, giant war leopard. Perfect. Yeah.

Well, we're out of points then. No, no, no, no. No, sure I still got more. Yeah, we still got a lot more. Oh, should we get a giant tiger? What about a tapir? Do we want a giant tapir? No, there's...

I want to sink. Then again, you can write that. It's giant. Oh, can we ride a giant tapir? Let's do it. I'm pretty sure, yes. Tapir are awesome, by the way. But I want actually owe for a snake.

Oh, should we get a snake too? Where's the snake? I don't think we can get the giant version, though, but we might get, like, two normal-sized snakes. Okay, let's find them. Where does snakes live? Oh, parrots are cheap. Parrots are cheap.

Should we get a couple of parrots? A couple parrots. Gray parrots? Oh, we can get a whole bunch of them. I think if the number is like, no, gander is also just six bucks. Okay, cool. Should we get a gander? Nah.

All right. We've got... Hey, get a grackle. Seriously, get a grackle because I have grackles in my yard. I've been obsessed with bird watching. Grackle. Perfect. Thank you.

Uh-huh. Should we get a pair of them? Demati passphrased. The grackle, yes. And Keith, Pines Glaciers. Keith. Yes. Groundhogs?

Do we need that? We have a grackle. So if we don't like the weather, we can ask, can we talk to the groundhog and have it predict weather for us? I think the groundhog is a vermin, right? Is it in the game? Seriously, I cannot wait to tell my wife that we have a couple of grackles in our party. Wait until you tell her that we're going to have a hoary marmit also.

Hyena. Hyena. Oh, yeah. That's a hyena man. Yeah, let's do that. Is it like enslaving your own kind? I don't know. I'm going to toss in a groundhog.

You got to look at this from the Beastmaster point of view. In America, we use groundhogs to predict weather, so I'm going to get that, because that'll be helpful, I'm sure. Great. Now, is there a snake. That is the big question. We can get a lion. Look at that. We can get a lion.

We just haven't. What do you guys? We can't afford one. No, we got 101. We got 102. We could just have a lot, one lion. Or snakes. Or a snake?

Okay, snakes. Okay, let's go find a snake. Mungoose eats a snake. Don't get a mongoose and a snake. That would be bad news. That is true. Python. There we go.

Pythons, yeah. And a rattlesnakes. Perfect. Rattlesnakes. And a skink, because it's kind of like a snake. Perfect. What? It's like a snake.

Is a skink a legless lizard, or is it? Kind of, yes. Okay. Oh, that thing. Oh, sorry. I mixed it up with the skunk. I was very confused for a second I just threw into other stuff here

okay so we are with a real menagerie here we've got a war cheetah a giant war leopard we've got a giant tapir we've got a pair of grackles we've got a hoary marmot we've got a hyena

a ground hog pup a python a rattlesnake a skink a snail and a wolf I feel like we haven't forgotten anything let's go get this guy before you click continue I see a comment that says Giant birds can be flying mounds

No, they can't Seriously? Oh, yeah Are there giant grackles? Well, a peregrine falcons Pretty big, but probably not big enough for a hyena to ride. I think there was a giant falcon at least.

Okay, let's go back up. Oh, God. Giant wren. Giant tortoise is never going to fly. Sabin. Well, not with this attitude. to it anyway. All right, so giant rent is our choice. So we reckon, should we

kill off some of these animals that we've got? Coal our herd here? Should we get rid of the tape here for the rent? Yeah, we can't change the top here, yeah. All right, farewell tape here. Right, giant rent. Perfect. Done. All right. Vamos.

invites all rangers to behold the artifact crossbow tit haldrill, the playful honor, on display now at the unbridled heather, grand guild hall of the company of flowers. Attend for demonstrations, education, and general fellowship. Contact hall administrator, Christopher Harris, at the unbridled heather for more information. Adventure awaits. Here we go. Oh, if it's, it's going to crash. Hey. It did not crash? Hey.

I wasn't even on the ground. No. Man, this is just too good. Okay. Press it. Okay. Great. Well, I'm going to press R for Roland for help.

Let's scroll in here and. Yeah. Is this better? Is that more visible to? Yes. That's great. Which ones are the grackles? Well, let's see.

I don't know. Um, W.S or H maybe? Let's see. I don't know. No, I think it's like the very small. Oh, look, I can see my snake. Thing. Yeah.

Is there like a cue? Can I queue to query stuff in this? I think it's K to look. K to look. There we go. Nope, I'm going to be good at performance. Well, I guess I can talk to my cat. Great listener.

Perfect. Are you ready to learn? Aw. That's very sweet. So we're standing here in some kind of an open clearing area near a road, it looks like. And we've got our menagerie with us. So. Oh, there's a building over there.

Where? Which way? There's a building to the east. Never mind. That's our mini map. Yep. Yep. Definitely seems.

Oh, Lord. We're moving. We're traveling. Oh, look, we found some elves. And they're in a tree. scream at them okay what's the key for that

okay I'm going to shout out to everybody great hello all right done the elf hello it is good to see you great all right

what should we do here should we shop down their tree I feel like this guy would chop down the tree that they're in we don't have an axe though oh blast it Curse. Curses. How do you chop down a tree with a wooden axe?

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Now, Minecraft told us it's possible. Yeah, it's true. Apparently, L is to lock. Okay. Yeah. Okay, so this is the tree that the elves are in date, palm trunk. Okay.

So float over the little bitty thing. I want to see if that's our greckle. Or one of our grackles. So the H is S. Slomey. I don't know what that is. I can't remember anybody's names are. You can just press A. It's a. Wow.

No, no, no. There is a description. It's a lowland rodent. I think that's the ground dog. Yeah. I think the grackles may be on another Z level. I think the grackle might be one of the letters because that's their name. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Affamy. that is a snake found in the trees oh that's the python okay it's a bit of a bummer you meanie that is a cool name is a good one uh this is the medium-sized predator oh that's the hyena okay good good good oh it's even got an age that's the ground tag I think that's the cat this thing's what is that do we decide it that was I thought that's the rodent. It's a rodent, yeah.

Maybe the birds have already packed away and left us. All right, so where am I going? What's our plan here? Oh, God. I should have brought up the controls of the game, but... I should have done that, too. Oh, look, there's a statue here. Should we have a look at that?

You can look with L on the statue. It should have a description. It's a wooden statue of Diane Creature Spring. Great. Can I topple it? Knock it over. Okay. perfect let's definitely topple this um what's our topple key so toppling statues accomplish what

to piss people off we yeah it's mostly fun right now but if you do it in um in a temple then you can get cursed by the deity do you guys remember how to topple it hell no i think it's like a major eye for interact but i might be wrong let's do it um yeah so I would love to. No, that's interact with my stuff. But I want to interact with the world. I attack it. I forget how to attack.

Oh, Lord, that's not what I wanted. That's the answer. Can you look at it and then have? B. Nope, I can just see it. And it is exactly. It's a light she would spring of dipane creature spring. The elf and humans in light she would.

It's surrounded by humans. And it relates to. to the election of the elf dying creature spring to the position of high moth of the cavernous Covenant, 567. Time to access the Dwarfurtress Wicke. Right. Maybe it's comma. I feel like it could have. It's definitely

not comma. Having we'll move that out. Okay. I'll make it's a question mark. This is great. Well, it's very professional playing this game. Very competent. Let's see. Hold on, jump time. Okay. It's you.

interact with building furniture Of course it is Yes Oh Lord That makes some of sense It says no it's taken us To a totally different screen Which is very confusing

Yeah this is what we're talking about now Topal it You've toppled the statue That's right I have Perfect Great let's do it again No we can't do it again No it's not like lying on the floor

It's toppled Great Well that'll show those else Oh yeah Rattle Salon said try you Thank you Huh Oh

Okay All right All right I'm just running through the forest here. I don't know where I'm going. We are running north, and north is

it says north is it looks like a circle shape. It's to the north. Does anybody remember what that means? Can you click M for the map? No. M does not show the map. Obviously, it shows my

swimming preferences. Obviously. I wonder what is it shifting. T shows the travel map No significant structures Oh M, map, here we go Oh, that's not so helpful Oh, yeah, okay

What is this? Hang on, okay Okay Okay Yeah, T for quick travel Yep, I'm in the quick travel here So looks like we can I'm in my little ampersand

cruising across the forest here You see the block? You see the block? thing? Yeah, with the eight on it, there's a block and an eight. We're going to go in. Okay, you cannot travel through the fort.

That's fine. We don't need to. Go, stop. Interesting. Okay, in we go. All right, we're headed to the boat. Down we go. Where is the fort now?

What do you think is to the east and all the Gs are down there? Is this it? Is this the edge of a fort? The walls here. Oh, there is. Justin Rogers indicates that you can pet your animals with the X. Oh, okay, let's do that. Select a creature.

Create, butcher. No, don't want to do that. Well, natural ability, maybe? Carve wooden health from branch. Create, make sharp rock. Oh, I bet we could have cut down the tree with that. Because we're a napper. A.

A. Pets. A. Oh, it's a X and then A? Yeah. Natural ability. Yeah. Oh, thank you.

That's really. nice. Select creature. Well, we're going to pet the Dane. Okay. We did that. Very cute. Very nice. Okay. Thanks, Justin.

Thanks. So we're looking at the outside of this wall, of this giant fort, which I gather fort is a human. Is that correct? Is it a door? Or dwarven. Could be. It probably doesn't look like dwarfs. It's very.

It doesn't look like anything. Challenging to get around this thing. Okay, does this fort have a door? Does it have to? Does it have to? All right, guys. How do we get in? Okay, we are just cruising.

Here's a stair step. Oh, that's not going to do it. Oh, there's something. There's trouble. There's noise. All right. This looks like, Oh, there it is.

There it is. that's got to be an entrance or not or not I can't move yeah there is no ram to actually get down oh I'm on the ground

how do I get up uh... S you can't stand up somebody's in the way okay I'm standing up now perfect here we go I don't understand why it won't let me oh here we go

this is a door oh look we're going inside in the fort oh our animals can't come in so that's okay that's okay There we go. They're in. They're in. We got them. They just had to keep the door open for them. All right. Here we go. Should we go inside?

Yes. Ah, elves. Brilliant. An elven fortress. Record of the fort. Are those beds, by the way? There's a book here. Should I steal the book? I mean, we can definitely peek into the book. Oh, wow. They're talking on, huh?

Oh, my goodness. It is terrifying. I must take my leave. It is terrifying. Somebody is doing some sort of a performance. For some reason, I imagine that is the elven accent. It is terrifying. And I don't know how to get rid of it.

Okay, there we go. Oh, Lordy. Okay. Oh, that's, do we want me to try to talk to any of these people? Or just steal their stuff? Oh, we can't talk to them. But what is, like, what is that stuff? Are there's beds?

Let's look and see. It's just like toilet beds. Oh, yeah, homewood beds. And then the things look like toilets or books. I guess. Oh, uncanny health. Let's take it. How do we take things?

We stand on top of them and press G, if I remember correctly. Thanks, guys. Now we interact with a book. With the, you know, yeah. No, like I to interact, I think it was. There it is. F. Uncanny elf. Oh, can I read it?

Yeah, you have to click I out of the, inventory or big eye for interaction. Yeah, now you can go for the ball. Right, then I need to go F. Oh, I see. What would you like to do, though? Let's read it. Okay, the uncanny elf, authored by

Tis trammel desserts. It concerns it concerns the visit of an elf Tis trammel desserts to healer styles on a pilgrimage in the mid-spring of 536. The writing uses artful words and phrases is selected with care. The prose is masterful. Well, thanks, guys.

We'll just take this with us. Should we shout at these guys or do something to them? Sure, yeah. Let's talk to the administrator. Let's greet him. Okay, salutations, he says. And then, okay, and it sounds like the administrator's talking to other people. He's busy.

Okay. Praise be the Onev-Hungle. Wonderful. Okay, let's begin a performance. Should we tell a story? Give a sermon, recite a poem. Let's do recite a poem. I think this guy's a poet, right?

Did we pick poet? No, we decided not to do that. Story, right? Yeah. Should we talk about... You have a wooden clarinet. Oh, well, oh, crap. Okay, let's do that then.

The beautiful recorder. The recorder, yeah, let's begin a performance with that, perform music. Oh, my goodness, I have a lot of choices. Yeah. and you sang surprise we actually have to pick a form of music that you know supports the recorder otherwise we will just beatbox I don't have a clue we're just going to do this one right here the beatboxing hyena man yes um what's a drool heroic that sounds uh that sounds tanglement that sounds like a disney movie bunny ever on work uh no guys listen to this one this one

called Bunny Ever Onward. It's an example of the Heel of Tribe styles. That's what we're doing. The Amia is a huge stationary silk stringed instrument with wooden frame. Oh, okay, so my dude has found it. And the high register begins at a low pitch and a delicate liquid timbre. Okay. Yeah, we can now, yeah, exactly.

We can now choose which. So you're performing, you're occupied. Yes. Yeah, I'm just going to, now I just. Oh, they're dancing. Look. It's so nice. This sounds vaguely like the edda.

Oh, that's so nice. Everyone's enjoying it. Yeah, it sounds vaguely like the other, yeah. Okay, well, they seem to like it. You made a mockery. It says you made a mockery of the amyya with his shameworthy performance. The Elven Trader sounds vaguely like the intended Anika. Okay, well.

They liked it, though. They liked it, well, they're fun. They're just polite, maybe. Oh, they suck. Oh, they suck. They're performing. Should we try to attack them? No, not yet.

Do it again. Play the sound again, play the song again? Yeah, but not the exact same song. Maybe we actually do find something that goes for the thing we have. Aifaki? Do we have the Afaki? Wrench it lasts. Wrench it lasts, done.

Okay. Okay, this is. Macala. Okay, well, it's fine. We'll just tick through this. We're just going to come. want to tick through this, I guess. Is that how you tick the...

All right. So, anyway, we're going to, I guess, leave these guys now. We guess we could steal some more of their stuff. Get a record of the fort. Done. Okay, perfect. Thanks for yourself. This should be an interesting audio podcast to try to edit.

Yeah. Well, we just basically, what we've done is we've gone into... It looks like a barracks or a dorm and stole a couple of their books and played some very poorly done music. Oh, books. Books. books, books. Look at this. Should we look around and see what other books we've got here?

We've got thoughts on the fort, right? Study of the elf. First the elves and the world. The forest and the other. These guys need a little variety. The study of the author. Okay, so it's an autobiography. The sun sets on the secret area. Uncovering the fort. Wow, these guys really, really love my friend, the elves. Don't take that one.

I just want to burn this place down. Okay. All my mind nine. can you burn a place down oh yeah can we light a fire let's do that we can ignite we can ignite it's somewhere in the is is it X I think our sociopath pathologically I feel like this guy would be chilled kind of man would burn things down yeah I feel like we're gonna set this place on fire so let's figure out how to do that it feels like the right thing or or was it under G I think you can make a campfire oh yeah now go go down with

the keys, like slash and point. Tekin says in this episode, the whole Fortress Roundtable insults the local elven culture and then steals their belongings. And then sets fire. And then burns down stuff. So we're going to set fire to the grass because that seems, yes, see that?

See, that's what we wanted to do. Perfect. Now let's go down here. Oh, let's get back over here. Let's watch a spread. I forgot what key we did. Was it G to, oh, look, is G to set the fire, right? Or not.

Yeah, it's just grass, sadly. But if we find a tree, we can't set... Wait, is the wall made of wood? Oh, well, let's see. I wonder if we can ignite the wall of the fort. See, now I'm stuck underneath. What am I doing here? What have I done?

Oh, we're hungry and thirsty. I guess we better deal with that, huh? Let's remember how do we eat? I think it's E for eating. E for eating. What would you like to eat? your drink. Well, we'd like to eat some water first of all.

Can you eat the water? And then we're going to eat the... Q for quaff? And you like the durians? Oh, no, we can eat durians. We can't eat the durians. Oh, no.

Well, that sucks. That's okay. Can we eat else? Can you look at the wall to check if it's actually shirt and the brownish one? The brown wall? Yeah, let's get the brownish wall. The brownish wall is not what.

Yes, that's what I will you. Here it goes. Burn down the mission. You can click here, B, and then you have to step away. Otherwise, you will burn yourself. Yeah. Burned out instantly, huh? Damn.

That sucks. I guess there's not enough dense grass, okay? Maybe the dense grass. Oh, they're, okay. Oh, no, it's burning that. down there. Let's see smoke. Well, that's just smoke, I guess.

Yeah, it's just smoke. Darn. I guess. Oh, there's a bit of a fire. It's just not quite like some of the conflagrations that we've had. Are there any trees inside the fortress? No. Oh, look, the fires are still going, though.

I think it's just sometimes you've got to be patient. We can't burn this place to the ground. All right, let's just get out of here. It sucks. Burn that mother down. Oh, I cannot travel to at least. Yeah, you have to leave by hand, and then you can travel again. All right, let's get out of here.

Oh, look, there's more. What if I, oh, this is the external. Oh, look. Oh, we can go up. There's probably a tower and we can get on. Tell you what, I get so confused. Set fire in the tower. Oh, yeah, okay.

With us inside of it. Good plan. Well. I just, I am, I find it very difficult to navigate. We are approaching an hour. Okay. Well, we're still alive while I've seemed to have gone backwards here in the tower. All right, I'm going to set the tower on fire.

Yeah, stairs are weird. adventure mode. It says there's nothing to pick up in here, so I can't do it. I just need to get out of here because I'm too stupid to figure out how to go up the tower. All right, let's get out of here. Still burning. Still burning. I think you have to go to the western side because that was where the entrance was. I'm just going to go ahead and try to burn a little bit more here just to really kind of make our point that we don't like them. So hold on, before you go in in front of the, oh, those are on another level. That's up a hill or down a hill.

Oh, look, I found another building. Oh, there's more towers. Oh, those are probably their watch towers. Should we just go inside and try to kill somebody? I don't think there are too many people here. Ooh, wow. Those things would all burn those. I don't think it's going to let me burn.

Oh, yes, it is. Ignite. Yeah, look, I'm going to burn the stuff. Oh, shit. I just, well. You're on the wrong. side of the door. Oh, no.

And this is a dead end. There's lots of upset people out there. Oh, no. You don't have to go like a tower and chest. You can go. I can get out like this. There we go. Made it.

My menageries. Get your animal, too. You can go diagonally, I think. Yes. Yep, I got that. Thank you. Perfect. Okay.

Let's just, you know. Look, man, I'm just. I never have shown you that, huh? Look, I really don't like these guys. What can I say? Oh, Lord, them in their towers, I tell you. We're never going to be in this place. You lost the animal there.

Oh, yeah, the G's... Throw all durians to the elves. Oh, yes, you should throw your fruit to the elves. Okay. It's probably... Hey, come on, get out of there. Okay, all right, let's go throw them. I can find any of these dumb elves.

It's time again for Memorial Gardens. Brought to you at this time by Urest J. Jennings, lead necromancer of Hatchet Romances Memorial Hall. This is a well-crafted Maka Memorial to Dodok Mamuza Stath. The slab reads, In Memory of Dodok Mamuzestath, suffocated in the year eight. Lover of caper bushes This is a masterful Micah memorial to Unib Isam-Gimbush.

It is encrusted with well-crafted point-cut gray calcedonis and encircled with well-crafted octagon cut Tanzanites. The slab reads, In memory of Unib Isam-Gimbush, Bled to death, slain by the elf Yemi-onslot smiles, with a bayberry wood longsword in the year nine. This is a masterful Philite memorial to Mincott Codmoral.

The slab reads, In memory of Mincot Codmoral, drowned in the year nine, bookkeeper of the confining silvers, years five to nine. Hatchet Romances Memorial Hall brings you this service. as communicated by lead necromancer Eurist J. Jennings. Kinnam Rush Kynum Rush. How do we do this?

How do we get out of this place? No, you can only go over the ramps, so only where the triangles are you can go on. Oh, look, here we are. There's a bunch of elves in here. Can I throw stuff at these guys? Yeah, okay. All right, so let's throw us.

things. What's the, what are we doing? G? T. Probably. T. We are going to throw the Durians. Great, they're already in my hand. And now you just smack it somewhere. Oh, I didn't like it.

Ooh, missus. Oh, blood. There's blood. I yield. I yield. Yep. They're not having any fights. Oh, no, your animals joined into a fight. Well, that's good. Oh, Lord, everyone's running away. So we are going to, it sounds like we're, sounds like it's in.

This vile fiend murdered in a song gloss. You killed somebody with a fruit. With the durian, whose ever idea that was, it was a great one. So thank you so much. That would be a rattle salad. Brilliant. Thanks. You want you to throw durians to the elves.

Thank you. We're going to keep throwing durians at them. Now, to be fair, to be fair, he said throw all durians to the elves, not at the elves. Well, potato potato. All right, agree to disagree here. We're going to keep chucky these duriads at these elves to late die. Oh, he killed him. Alala letches on firmly.

Oh, dear. Yeah, this happens when you bring like giant war animals. Well, the durians turned out to be a really deadly thing. Oh, my God. Can you please throw the book called Uncanny Elf at the Elf? Yes, we can do that. There it is P. Okay.

Which one? I'm going to throw it at this. at the administrator. Bam. Okay. So the hyena man brings chaos to the elves. Spinning uncanny elf strikes the

administrator Tasi alilaro in the left upper leg, bruising the muscle through the youth chaucy. Oh. Yeah. Left upper arm is ripped away. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, somebody is attacking you now. I think the, I think the animals are just shredding. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they're trying to hurt the animals, but the animals seem to be kicking the crap out of them.

I mean, it's two John War animals. Can I say I've got one more durian. I'm going to, I got to throw it at that. I got to quote Justin Rogers here. I love the character building of having a maniac hyena man running around, lighting stuff on fire, and throwing durians at everybody and just laughing the whole time. That's good, yeah. Well, what can you do when you're with elves? You know, we were kind of locked in our options when all we had were else.

Okay, so I have an idea here. Why don't we try to see if you can get out of this fortress alive and then see if we can save our elf person, or sorry, our hyena man for a... Oh, they're mad. They're still fighting. We're just going to run away here. Okay, I'll try to run away. Okay, oh, Lord, there's a lot of combat happening here. There is so much combat happening.

The dane is now getting punched. The dane is now getting punched. Are we going to have to kill all these elves first? I think so. The Dan stands up. They're, they're mad. Are we, are we murdering the elves? We are murdering the elves now, yeah.

Okay. Oh, my God, there's a lot of combat span. The giant, a war cheetah might be in trouble. Or war leopard? It was a leopard, right? All right, I'm going to just go ahead and try to attack. Let's see, I'm going to do, what is it? What's up?

Is it shift A? Is that what it is for attack? Yeah, I think so. Shift A. Is it shift A? Okay, shift A is not working. I thought it was, too. No, I think.

you have to stand next to somebody to actually do it. I think I am. Can you not just walk into them? Doesn't that attack? No, only if you use the numpad to do it. Oh, that's, so I am. Okay. He's...

Okay. Oh, they've broken my coffeewood toy boat. That's really sad. Oh, that's rude. Oh, that was injured. That was the final straw. Well, no, that's because you actually beat somebody with a boat. Well, fair enough.

No, I don't have a weapon in my hand. Oh, let's get a weapon. You're bleeding. We need to get a weapon in our hand, don't we? Let's see. How do we do that? I, your inventory. I think it's cute to get your weapons on.

Oh, the crackles on your head. Oh, brilliant. Okay, I just drew the spear. This is going to make this so much more fun. Go back to the interact screen. Okay. The number T, down there. There's a tame grackle on your head.

The tame grackle. That's amazing. That's where he was. The snail should find them. They were on you. That's beautiful. Okay, I'm going to throw this book. They sometimes sit on your head or your shoulders.

Which creature will you attack? A. There we go. I just threw the book at the guy. The elven. All right. So far we have insult by incompetence, theft, attempted arson, murder by smelly fruit, assault, and dismemberment by book.

Sending animals to kill owls. It all checks out. And don't forget breaking a toy boat over somebody's head. What's the one where I can, um, is it shift ale? here we go. Yeah, there we go. And I can strike. This is what I want.

Strike. We're going to absolutely cream this guy. What's our best? Lower arm. Because that's easy. Left lower arm. Perfect. Okay, done. We're going to, oh, Lord, look, I've got a lot of options.

Bight. Bight. Let's bite him. Crosity power. Boom. Okay. You jump away. Great.

Well, we're going to keep going at you. Is it shift A? Yes. Okay, strike. And then we're going to do, it looks like we've got a lower body. Lower body, lower body. Perfect.

Let's do a stab with a spear. That feels pretty solid. Roland's getting excited. Or I can hit him with the record of the fort. Should I stab it with the spear or strike him with the book? Yes, yes, yes. Stab him with a spear. Maybe you get a good striking.

You stab the administrator and the lower body with your third barro. We're bruising the muscle. We're going to just keep the fry on this dude. He's so done. Easier strike. I want to get him right in the head. Upper body. Normal strike, square.

Perfect. And we're going to stab him. It doesn't. Oh, he bruised his left long. This is going well. Oh, that's good. Probably the best fight I've ever had in this game. Oh, the neck would be good.

But that's a difficult strike. We can actually strike for the, no, that's the right upper arm. But we can strike for the neck. It's a difficult strike, but it's trying to square. Oh, scratch. Scratch. Oh, yeah, H, easy. Perfect.

I scratched him. Okay, well, that's fine. We're going to just, I'm not giving up on this guy. We've got to take him down. He tore his muscle when you scratched him. That's good. Well, he's going to. We do have, like, claws.

Yeah, let's do the neck again. I still, like, the neck's quite vulnerable. Ah. Missed it. Okay. Try again. Oh, look, somebody else is recovering. Let's go for that guy. Strike. We're just kind of, I'm just sort of randomly trying things that are easier, but I'm not, it's not so good.

Like, I'm missing stuff. Do I want to get a little closer here? Yeah. Pound on these guys a little bit. I'm no longer stunned. You're surrounded now. I'm very hungry, and I'm in pain, and I'm tired. But I feel confident that we're going to. win this battle. I am no longer able to attack. Here we go.

Here we go. So I'm going to keep attacking. Can't quite connect any. I've got tricky strikes, but I can't quite connect. They jump away. Let's just, I'm just going to, I mean, is this how we do it? Do we just keep trying things? Yeah.

So is there the ability to withdraw, not if you're, surrounded? No, not really. You have to move away while dodging. Oh, that was it. You fell over, you got stabbed to death. Fell over and got stabbed. Let's see what happened. Okay, so here's what happened. The administrator Laura, a cranny, latched on firmly. The other one punched in the head with the right hand, bruising the muscle, tore apart the skin, and then there was a lot more gore. The other one punched us in the head with the right hand, bruising the muscle.

Then the administrator punched us in the head, and the left, with her left hand in the injured part collapses, an artery was opened in the attack. You have been struck down. Oh, boy. There it is. There it is. Give an F in the chat, boys.

This is very sad. Well, R-I-P, Tira, Equatera. It was a, we barely knew ye. what are you going to do kind of sad that all our animals also died I like that it's like it's going to let me sit here and just look at it it's not going to finish it

it's just first escape to finish it it's really dead it is done labor cloudy is really dead we killed somebody though we took a couple of them out with us and they're sad about it so that's all it really matters we can come back another day and wipe them out if the fire is done

do it first all right so we'll see how many subscribers we lose on our audio podcast from this episode they're going to be like skip at the beginning you should probably give them a warning be like you know what yeah so if you are listening to this and uh you're like what the hell are they doing uh be sure to check out our youtube channel and uh and sorry i'm being attacked by war cats here throw you throw a book at them wait don't do that don't do that in real life hang on no no no no check out our youtube channel and uh And you can see the glorious battle of whatever this high in the man's name was and the persnickety elves.

Thank you for humoring us. It was a very amusing experience for sure. But whoever, who is writing the story for it? Because I thought that sounded amazing. It's pretty good, yeah. Yeah, that will be interesting to see. Yeah, whoever summary it was about us running around and being savage to the poor elves as I mean, man. That was, that was amusing.

Yeah, this could be a novella or a short story. Every one of my adventure modes kind of goes like this. I never get very far. And then when I do survive, I don't really know what I'm doing. So then I go get into trouble and then I die. That is the... I might see if I can find that old world, because I don't think that we ended up dying our character whenever we were playing where I was driving.

Right. I know that we ended up with two sessions. And we did some fairly, well, most of that, though, was tutorial of just you people showing me how to, how to actually control my character. Yeah. That was a good one. This one. We'll see how the reaction is on this and to see if we ever do this again. Well, and the disadvantage of these old worlds is, like, it takes so long to save and get out of them.

I mean, saving agreements and art forms and belief. I mean, it's just, who knows what's going on here. It's a lot of heavy work, I'm sure. There's so much detail. all right okay i may actually have to to pick up adventure mode on my own though to to try it out yeah i i'm it's don't forget tell me that you are actually streaming your your desktop so but only to us the youtube is now black yeah yeah and oh you killed it i killed the youtube um and now i'm killing the screen what well before yeah uh we actually need to say to the podcast

people oh i'm sorry did i just shut them down oh sorry please apologize i I was trying to... I'm learning how to use computers. One of these days, I'll learn how to use computers. Sorry, everyone. Tony is learning how to use computers. That's okay. Okay, Rattle Selling did say nice episode for the adventure.

You didn't get a chance to mount the bird. Oh, shoot. That's right. Got to do that next time. So audio listeners, if you so choose, you can let us know if whatever I do with the audio from this session is acceptable or not. It sure was fun for us, though. It was amusing. I wonder if there's anything we could do differently to make it more palatable for somebody who's trying to follow along.

If we explain a bit more what is on the screen, you know, goes to. step by step, then it probably is a bit more digestible for the pure listener. But that also means we get a lot less stuff done. But like I said, we'll see how it sounds whenever I take the time to edit it. There's a decent chance that this one will be a little late because I have a suspicion that this is going to be a much harder episode to edit the audio for than a typical one. I'm also wondering if, oh, shoot,

oh, I was also wondering maybe next time we should, like, build the character ahead of time and then we can just tell people what it is. Yeah. Gives us a little bit more time. Yeah. That's a good idea. That's a good idea.

Yeah, we can just read the description of the character at the beginning of the stream. It seems like a solid idea. I thought it was fun. I enjoyed it. Cool, and I'll learn the keys better. Next episode, we'll do a Morton, additional podcast. There's, uh, is actually some news that we can catch up on. Yeah. And, uh, hey,

yep. So until next time, all of you people out there in Dwarfieland, happy Fortress right? Yep. Yep. See ya. All right. Bye. Bye. Chow. This has been the Dwarfortress Roundtable podcast. You can find all our past episodes at DFRoundtable.com. Stop by and leave a message or suggestion in the comments section for this episode. While you're there, you can subscribe to Dwarfortress. Roundtable or find us in the podcast service of your choice. You can find video content on our YouTube channel, and you can send us an email at Urist at DFRoundable.com. That's UR-I-S-T at D-F Roundtable.com.

Please consider donating to the creators of Dwarfortress at Bay12 Games.com. If you'd like to help support this podcast, you can find us at patreon.com slash DF Roundtable. This is a conversational podcast. All Crafts Worship is of the highest quality.