Dynamic Dialogue with Danny Matranga - 131: How to *CONVINCE* Friends/Loved Ones to Live Healthier

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

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Hey, everybody. Welcome in to another episode of the Dynamic Dialogue podcast. As always, I'm your host, Danny Matrenga. And in today's episode, we're going to go over some questions and answers. I'm going to field some Q&A stuff from my Instagram, answer a variety of questions, should be fun. And then we'll get into the bigger discussion of the day, which is how you can encourage friends, family, loved ones, spouses, parents, children, whoever, to live a healthier, more active life. This is one of the most prevalent questions I get, so much so, and it came up so much in the Q&A, that I wanted to actually have a standalone conversation at the end of this episode about that, go over some tactics, go over some techniques, and just kind of give you guys my two cents on how you might do this,

having worked with hundreds, if not thousands of people in the general population. I just want to feel a little better space, right? So I've worked with a lot of people who are completely novice, completely new, who've never trained before. And I think that for most people, us, completely new, who've never trained before. And I think that for most people, when you're trying to get people to begin a exercise habit, that's where they're at, right? You're starting from close to zero. And being able to bridge that gap is tricky. It's something I've figured out how to do fairly well, not perfectly. It is hard, but I want to give you guys some insights. But before we do, just to pay the bills, I want to tell you about my good friends over at Elemental Labs. Elemental Labs makes my favorite electrolyte supplement ever, LMNT Recharge. It's awesome. My favorite flavors are the mango chili, the citrus, and the raspberry. I take electrolytes

every morning, first thing, right when I wake up with water. I get a big 64-ounce bottle of water, and I mix a half a packet of the Elemental Labs electrolytes in it and start my day hydrated. Sometimes I train early in the morning fasted, right? Like I just don't have an appetite right when I wake up, but I need to train early in the morning. And while I'm sure to nail my post-workout training window, I have noticed that training in the morning fasted with electrolytes compared to just training in the morning fasted with nothing helps me get a better pump. I have better power output. I feel more hydrated and I just train better.

Another time I use these electrolytes is when I'm out on the golf course in sometimes sunny California, as well as when I go to the sauna. I love the inclusion of sodium, bioavailable forms of magnesium and potassium, and the flavors are awesome. 100%

naturally sweetened with stevia. So if you guys are interested in trying out Elemental Labs electrolytes, I've got an awesome deal for you. You can head over to drinkelemente.com slash coach Danny and get a free sample pack of every flavor Elemental Labs makes. Again, my favorite are the mango chili, the citrus, and the raspberry, but the orange, watermelon, chocolate, unflavored, and lemon habanero are all also pretty damn good. So go to drinkelemente.com slash coachdanny, get your free sample pack, just pay shipping, try it out, and let me know what you think. Without further ado, let's get into the Q&A. This time I'm actually going to remember to read the usernames. Last time I did a Q&A,

I actually forgot to read usernames, which is kind of pain because I want to give everybody kudos and credit for engaging and interacting with the show. So this time I am going to remember. So this question comes from at Eleanor underscore KLG, and she says, advice on how to eat high protein on a cut. I'm struggling. So when you're dieting or when you're cutting, right, these are effectively the same things. Cutting refers to trying to lose body fat. Dieting refers to trying to lose body fat, restricting calories, changing how you eat,

et cetera. Your caloric intake is going to be at a premium. And getting your protein in can be challenging if you select protein sources that are high in fat or high in carbs. So examples of protein sources that might be high in fat might be fattier cuts of red meat, fish, and chicken. And then you also have a lot of the popular plant-based options for vegan or vegetarian eaters that are high in fat and carbohydrate too. Things like cheese or eggs for vegetarians tend to be quite popular. And for vegans, you know, it can get really tricky because you're often going to get associative carbs and associative fats. So my almost always bang on 100% first order of business

if you're struggling to get your protein intake up is consider adding a protein shake if you're not, you know, opposed to a supplemental form of protein. Some people are like, no, I want it to be whole foods. If that's the case, I recommend something quick and easy like a Greek yogurt or Icelandic Greek yogurt skier. Those are my two go-tos. But if you are on a diet and your calories are at a premium and you need to up your protein without taking a huge caloric hit, maybe you want to save some room for other stuff, protein shakes tend to be a really good, low-calorie, quote-unquote, cost-effective way to get your protein up without incurring a bunch of additional caloric intake, which is pretty darn important if you're, by the looks of the thumbnail

here, a woman, because women tend to have less room for error and tend to have to be at lower caloric thresholds to lose weight. So this question comes from Jessica Claire Ham, and she says, is eating 1,200 calories really that bad for you if you're trying to cut fat? And my answer here is yes and no. So let's start with the no. No, 1,200 calories isn't bad, quote unquote, if you're trying to lose fat. In fact, it's a great way to lose fat. You are going to, in all likelihood, be in a pretty extreme deficit, even if you have one of the lower end total daily energy expenditures. And I find that sometimes small women who are completely sedentary might have TDEEs in the high 16, 17, 1800 range. So a 1200 calorie intake is still a 500 calorie deficit, but it's a very, very constrained amount of energy

to be taking into the system. And I do think that you would lose body fat extremely fast if you were eating 1200 calories, even if you did not exercise. Because for almost anybody, that is going to be a substantial intake level below their total daily energy expenditure. I never set clients up with a 1200 calorie intake range because I don't think it's particularly sustainable. While it's

inarguable that that is a very efficient way to lose body fat, I don't think it's very sustainable. And I would go so far as to say that the average person who's exercising regularly that that is a very efficient way to lose body fat. I don't think it's very sustainable. And I would go so far as to say that the average person who's exercising regularly isn't going to be getting enough food to maintain their other bodily functions, like their menstrual cycle, their libido will tank, it might affect their sleep,

it could affect the quality of their hair, their skin, their nails, you name it. Definitely gonna impact your mood. So when we talk about fat loss in the short term, is 1200 calories a day going to kill you? Probably not. But when we talk about fat loss in the long term, I don't think starting with what I call the BAM, the bare ass minimum is a good way to go. I think you should start at a higher caloric intake, give yourself a longer runway, allow yourself to have some flexibility and make some mistakes because unless you're only looking

to lose like five pounds, you're probably going to be dieting for more than a week or two. And consuming 1,200 calories a day for more than a week or two isn't ideal. I think it sets you up in the long term to have more binges. It sets you up in the long term to actually eat more calories because you won't be able to stick to it. It's very, very challenging to perform at a high level. So your body composition might go to shit in that, you know, what if you begin losing muscle because it's hard to get enough protein and train hard with just 1200 calories. So yes, it is an effective number for losing body fat in technically the lower you go, the more effective

it is, right? It's not rocket science. The greater the deficit, the more tissue you're going to lose. However, it's entirely unsustainable and not something I recommend and not something I've ever prescribed for a client. And I intend to, at this point, keep it that way. This question comes from at VanessaRose89. What do you recommend for bloating? And so bloating is something I get a lot of questions about. And the causes of bloating can be so bloating is something I get a lot of questions about. And the causes of bloating

can be all over the place. It can be related to stress. It can be related to fluid intake. It can be related to sodium intake. It can be related to things like, did you travel via aircraft recently? Elevation changes, altitude changes can lead to substantial swings in water retention or bloating. Are you eating things that are very oily? Are you eating things that are very spicy? There are so many different things that can cause bloating. My general blanket recommendation though, because again, we can't directly impact our hormones immediately if it's a hormonal thing. We can't do massive dietary overhauls if it's a food sensitivity thing and get immediate impact.

So my general rule of thumb is if you're experiencing bloating, try a few things first. Number one, make sure you're getting adequate amounts of fluid intake. Strangely enough, bloating can be caused by dehydration. Excessive water retention can be due to hormone dysregulation between hormones like aldosterone and antidiuretic hormone, ADH, and one of the best ways to make sure you're chilling and quote-unquote cooling in that area is just by being hydrated. But the big one, the easiest one, the most perhaps obvious one, is chew your food very, very well. And I know that sounds like, what? Just chew your food?

That's your advice for bloating? It actually is. Chew your food well. Chew it until it's a paste. 20 to 30 bites or 20 to 30 chews a bite. Really pulverize what it is you're eating. Allow that bolus or that ball of food to be pretty darn pulverized by the time it gets to your stomach. That way, the surface area of the bolus is more exposed

to the different microvilli of the intestine for uptake and nutrient absorption, and you're not battling these large, unchewed globs of food that can lead to gas and bloating. Again, being mindful of things like the spiciness of your food, the oiliness of your food, the fat content, right? Are these foods that I may or may not have a history of being sensitive to and causing bloating? So if you're somebody that every time you go out and have spicy Thai food or spicy Indian food or spicy Mexican food, you're on the toilet for, you know, an hour later in the day, you might want to be a little bit more aware of that and make better food decisions in that department. But what I find to be the primary causes of bloating are not chewing food adequately, stress, and hydration. Now, there

is one more thing that I think we could look at, and you hit on it here. You said, is Metamucil an effective tool for managing bloating? And so Metamucil is just psyllium husk fiber. And when you add Metamucil to the diet and you notice better, let's say, intestinal health, better gut health, better digestion, less bloating, usually what you're seeing there is the benefit of increased fiber intake. Fiber is very important for the well-being of your digestive system. That is the primary fuel source for the microbiota that live in your gut, the small organisms that help you digest food. And while something supplemental like Metamucil might be effective at giving those bacteria what they need because they need that insoluble fiber, I still think you're better off increasing your intake

of fruits and vegetables. So if you're dealing with bloating, make sure you're chewing your food well. Make sure you're getting multiple servings of fruits and vegetables per day, make sure you're staying hydrated, and keep an eye on your stress and intake of foods that you might be sensitive to. Next question comes from Ranelle Vasneka, and she asks, top five core exercises. Need some encouragement on this routine. So we've talked about this before on the podcast, guys, and that is that the core is not just your rectus abdominis. It's not just your six-pack. When we train our core, we should be looking at training the transverse abdominis, which are deep underneath the rectus abdominis. Those are muscles you can't even see. Your obliques,

your glutes, your lats, the lowest fibers of your lats, right? Your spinal erectors, the musculature of your low back, the musculature of your hip flexors, as well as your core. And I think the best way to train those is in somewhat dynamic ways where they all work together. And so simply just oscillating between sit-ups, toe touchers, penguin crunches, bicycle crunches, planks, side planks, etc. is going to do quite a bit, but it's not going to be what I would describe as comprehensive. So when I look at how I'm going to train my core, I'm thinking about a few primary functions of the midsection of the torso of that musculature. One of which is stability in the form of anti-extension and anti-rotation. So things like planks, side planks, pale off press.

Okay, those are great exercises. I'm also looking at flexion of the hips and flexion of the trunk, right? We've got the traditional rectus abdominis, dominant flexion of the spine with our sit-ups and our decline crunches. But then we have lower fibers and hip flexor specific spinal flexion, like leg raises. So I might include a little bit of crunching and a little bit of leg raising. Additionally, I think it's really important to train your core ballistically and rotationally. So things like med ball throws, med ball slams are awesome. And then training to create bracing and stability by things like med ball throws med ball slams are awesome and then training to create bracing and stability by things like

Farmers carries and deadlifts. Those also have some really good carryover particularly loaded carries to things like lateral flexion and Anti-lateral flexion specifically resisting different forces So your core is not just about producing force and producing movement, producing rotation, producing flexion. It's also about resisting extension, resisting flexion, resisting lateral flexion, resisting rotation. Your core is really, really integral for both promoting and withstanding force, so your core training should be pretty dynamic. How you go about incorporating different core movements into your routine is up to you, but those are the functions I'd be looking to train. Some of the exercises I like for core, I'm just going to shoot from the cuff here, and

I'm going to give you ones that I like. I like farmer's carries. I like payload press. I like wood chops. I like leg raises. I like hanging leg raises. I like crunches, decline crunches, stir the pots, Swiss ball crunches, cable crunches, crossbody cable crunches. I like a million different core exercises. I love lateral med

ball throws, overhead med ball throws, so many ways to train your core. Don't get pigeonholed into thinking it's all sit-ups and all stuff that you're going to be doing from the floor. Okay, next question comes from Apervaxavan. Apervaxavan. She asks, been strength training for two years, never got cupping and massage done. Is it needed? Well, if you've been doing something for two years and you haven't needed it or you haven't needed to supplement it, they're probably not needed. Massage is helpful. It can be very relaxing and quite enjoyable. massage is helpful. It can be very relaxing and quite enjoyable. Cupping, on the other hand, I'm not so sure about. I think a lot of it is placebo, but I'm not an expert on the cupping literature, so I'm not going to take a hard stance for or against it, but I don't think you need to

do cupping or massage to see results. Last question is from Juicyts, and she asks protein recommendations for an active 60-year-old woman, 150 to 160 pounds. So consider this, guys. Remember, our protein intake for body composition and performance is probably going to be somewhere between 0.7 to 1 grams per pound. So splitting the difference between 150 and 160 pounds, we can use 155 times 0.7, which comes out to 108.5, round up to 110 grams of protein a day. That would be on the low end. If we did a gram per pound, she'd be at 155 grams a day. So somewhere between 110 and 155 grams a day is likely to be fine for body composition and building muscle. If you're in a calorie deficit and you want to leverage the satiating impact of protein, you can go all the way up to 1.1 or 1.2 grams per pound so long as you have healthy kidneys

and your body's doing what it's supposed to be doing, right? That's for healthy adults. It's not a blanket recommendation. And for those of you listening at home, if your goals are building muscle, if your goals are body fat loss, your protein intake is probably also going to fall within that range of 0.7 to 1 grams per pound. And you might want to go a little bit higher than that, again, like I mentioned, if you're concerned with staying full.

So transitioning out of the Q&A, guys, getting into a discussion that I think is really important and very valuable to have, particularly something to have on the podcast, as opposed to something like an Instagram post or an Instagram reel, which I might actually turn this into an Instagram post and an Instagram reel, because I do think there's value here. But talking about how we encourage loved ones to work out, and it can be really challenging to see the people that we love and care about, maybe even the people that we have intimate relationships with, our partners, maybe the people who we raise children with, our husbands, wives, etc.,

not taking very good care of themselves. And it's something that does have an impact on our life, and we'll talk more about how to manage that and how to put your needs as a partner into the conversation without sounding selfish. But truth be told, the reason most of us want our loved ones to work out is because we want them to be here longer. We want them to live healthier lives.

I have parents, both of whom are not physically active, one because my mother just has no interest, really, are not physically active. One, because my mother just has no interest really in being physically active. She sometimes will communicate to me that she's interested in exercising and maybe doing some weight training, but won't really follow through even if I do things like buy her weights or offer to buy her a trainer. So sometimes people will talk a big talk, but they're not ready until they're ready. And then on the other end of the spectrum, my father, who has a degenerative disease known as Parkinson's disease that affects the dopamine region of the brain responsible for

movement, he's really limited in what he can do. And after the disease progressed to a point where he's basically wheelchair bound, he's kind of got it through his head that it's basically pointless. And it's not, but we all form these beliefs and identities. And after seeing both of my parents struggle with incorporating exercise and struggle to exercise for various reasons and trying everything I could, I realized that very early on, convincing people and getting people to take their health and exercise seriously is a skill. It is challenging and it really won't happen until they're totally ready. world to me if you would share it on your social media. Simply screenshot whatever platform you're listening to and share the episode to your Instagram story or share it to Facebook. But be sure to tag me so I can say thanks and we can chat it up about what you liked and how I can

continue to improve. Thanks so much for supporting the podcast and enjoy the rest of the episode. Once I started personal training, this only became more true and only became more obvious. And so what I'm going to share with you today are some of the things I've learned, you know, having trained thousands of people across a variety of different fitness backgrounds, sporting backgrounds with different goals that I find to be somewhat true at a universal and general level. Of course, there will be nuances. Of course, there will be specifics. Of course, there will be, well, that doesn't apply to many situations, but this conversation is very general. So bear with me. First things first, the most important thing I think when we're trying to encourage loved ones, spouses, et cetera,

to start taking their health more seriously and taking their maybe physical fitness more seriously, whether we're trying to get them to eat better, move more, or somewhere in between, maybe doing both. Remember that it's very challenging for someone to just pick it up, run with it, and be at your level because you asked them to. It's not just going to be a, hey, you should take your health and fitness more seriously. And they're going to go, you're right. You're so fit. Why don't you show me how? That doesn't happen. That literally almost never happens. Even when people come to trainers and go, I'm going to look just like you. Tell me what it takes. That doesn't even really end well. So what we want to do every time we're trying to help somebody, whether it's a mother, a father, a spouse,

a child, a friend, live healthier, be more active, is we want to take inventory, okay, live healthier, be more active is we want to take inventory. Okay. Where are they at right now? And I'm going to look at this person as an individual. I'm not going to be super general. I'm not going to be, you know, so, uh, grandiose in my expectations that I'm not going to meet them where they're at quite literally. Take a look at them, look at their lifestyle, meet them where they're at. Quite literally, take a look at them, look at their lifestyle, look at their situation and meet them where they are at. That single person, that's step one. So if my mother, for example, who's not big into lifting weights, came to me and told me she wanted to lift weights, I would meet her where she's at. We would start slow, maybe one to two days a week of total body resistance training. Could we

work, we might work that up to three if she's well recovered. And you know, I'm not going to say, okay, day one is leg day. We're going to do 20 sets of legs because that's what I can do after almost 10 years of resistance training. That would not be meeting that person where they were at. That would be trying to fit them into what I want to do or where I'm at. And a lot of people make the mistake of, hey, you know, I really want to get in shape. Can I come to the gym with you? And then they go, yeah, sure, only if you can do my workout. And then they end up murdering the person and they never can lift again. So meet them where they're at.

That's step one. And if that person is ready for help, they've come to you, maybe they've expressed to you that they're open to getting some help. You know, that's the time to meet them where they're at and take it slow. Second thing to consider, shaming works, but not very often. And I say that shaming works because a lot of us started working out because we were ashamed of how we looked. I, for one, am somebody who started working out because I wanted to be larger and more muscular than I was in high school. and somebody who started working out because I wanted to be larger and more muscular than I was in high school. I wanted to be bigger. I wanted to get more girls. I wanted to feel, you know, less small. Quite frankly, both of my parents are pretty small. So one of the big reasons I

started exercising was to build a little bit of muscle, build a little bit of size. And I was never shamed for being small, but I know plenty of people who were shamed for being overweight or heavier who then started exercising and yeah, the shame did actually work and it did help them implement those habits. But the likelihood of shaming someone into behavior change is extremely low and we shouldn't use exceptions to the rules. Perhaps people who are very resilient, perhaps people who kind of double down when they're in a corner as, well, why don't you just toughen up and do it? Not everybody responds very well to shame. And undermining someone's confidence by shaming them or launching personal attacks or saying things like, oh, why haven't you done this yet? Oh,

you got to get in shape. This is getting out of control. That stuff doesn't really help. So examples of ways or communication that I think we see a lot that are really, really ineffective. One of them is reminding friends and family members of past failures. So somebody might say, hey, I'm going to try this new diet. And then you might be inclined because you're frustrated and you've seen them try and fail before to be like, oh, well, hopefully you stick with it this time. Or, well, hopefully this isn't when you give up after a week. Those kinds of things, while they might be true, aren't very helpful. And when you're trying to get somebody to change and inspire them to stick with something, reminding them of all of their past failures, probably not the best idea.

If we're giving advice, it's important to put things into context, right? And remember what works for us might not work for other people. And so, for example, as a 26-year-old unmarried man with no children, I have to be very, very, let's say, open-minded, and I have to really see things all the way. I have to zoom out and see

the whole field. If I'm talking to a 44 year old mother of two, because what works for me probably would work for that person, but it's not practical for that person. And so sometimes we have to meet somewhere in the middle of optimal and practical. And so I have to get outside of my world and go, okay, what would work best for this person who has a completely different lifestyle, completely different, you know, world than I do. And when we make advice, when we're asked for help, we need to take those nuances into account. If somebody says, Hey, you know, what should I do? Should, should I do keto? I'm hearing about keto. Should I do orange theory? A bunch of my friends do orange theory. And you know who you're talking to. You know the person. You want

to really break it down for them. Do your best to individualize advice you give and put things into context when people ask you for help. Another mistake I think we make a lot when we're trying to help people, these are common mistakes that I'm sharing, right? Reminding people of their past failures is a common mistake. Forgetting people of their past failures is a common mistake Forgetting to put things into context is a common mistake Expecting them to start where you're at or where you want them to eventually be is a common mistake so for example ideally if you if I was the president of the united states and I was

able to somehow Again, people would freak out about their personal freedoms, but if I were to say, hey, look, first order of business, signing an executive order that anybody who goes to the gym four days a week and has a BMI within this range and gets a doctor's note is eligible for a fitness tax credit. Because I do think in the long run, that would actually save the government money. It would lead to more meaningful, happy lives for people. But you could actually get a tax credit for maintaining your fitness. And maybe one of the constraints in that

would be that you have to exercise at least four days a week. Because I think that that's the threshold, three to four days a week, that once you cross that threshold, you are really, really going to start to be able to build and maintain fitness. But for some people, three to four days a week is too much. And while I would want everybody in the entire fucking country to be able to work out four days a week, for some people, it's not practical. It's not something they're interested in doing. And if they're not exercising at all, four times a week might be too much.

It could honestly be as simple as, hey, you want to meet up and go at all, four times a week might be too much. It could honestly be as simple as, hey, you want to meet up and go for a walk two days a week, right? So there are no steps too small. In fact, for many people, starting smaller is better. And when you're just learning something, when you're just getting started with something, small, tiny, little successful steps in the right direction can help. So maybe you do one weightlifting workout a week and two walks to start. That doesn't sound like much, but that might be a better place to start than be like, hey, you've never worked out before. Just come to the gym with me for a week. Day one, leg day, let's squat so you can't walk tomorrow. Day two, chest day, we're going to do so much bench that your chest is sort of the touch. Day three, hey, dude, where are you?

We were supposed to meet at the gym today. You know what I mean? That's usually how that goes is if you try to assume people are going to be able to pick up where you're at, you're probably going to fail as somebody who's looking to guide and help people. So the best thing that you can do, be honest, look at where they're at, okay, and try to be mindful that anything is better than nothing and give them what they can recover from, build some confidence with, and, you know, really start to see some positive momentum. Another mistake we make is we set the bar too high. We set expectations too high.

You know, getting into these habits and building them is rare. Very, very few people meet the physical activity guidelines set forth by the CDC. We'll talk about that in a little bit. And part of why that is, is because people hate it. Not everybody loves exercise the way we do. So let's set the expectations intelligently. Let's be smart about what it is that we are looking to accomplish with these people. And I think quite frankly, we shouldn't be setting expectations for people who come to us for help. We should allow them to set expectations. Hey, what do you want to get out of this? What would make you happy? You know, this is what I think, but what do you think might work best for your situation? What's sustainable for you? for you. Something I ask a lot of the clients who come through core coaching method is, tell me how many times you can honestly get to the gym per week. Don't tell me how many times you want to get to the gym. Don't tell me how many times you would like to get to the gym. Tell me how many times you can actually get to the gym. Okay. So those are some common mistakes

that we'll see in behavioral change implementation or helping others change their behavior. We oftentimes make the mistake of not putting things in a context. We get a little bit too personal about it and we remind people of past failures because we're jaded because we're very close to these people. We expect them to meet us where we're at instead of meeting them where they're at. Oftentimes we set expectations just too damn high. Something else that I like, point number three, hence a Gandhi quote, be the change you wish to see the world. But instead, let's frame this as be the change you wish to see in the people you're trying to help.

So lead by example, straight up. The Journal of American Medicine Association found that partners are more likely to make changes when the other partner is already exhibiting said changes. They used weight loss, smoking cessation, and exercise as three different things that they tracked. And what they found was when one partner had positive momentum going, almost assuredly, the other partner would too. So if you are, you know, not leading by example, you're sitting on your little high horse making judgmental comments but you don't have your house in order you don't have your bed made so to speak people are not going to take you seriously

so one of the things you can absolutely do to move the needle here is lead by example and if you're already at the gym five days a week and you know that somebody else is not there yet and that maybe they need to just start with walking and start with small body weight exercises, you can meet them there. Hey, can I join you for a walk? You want to go out for a salad? Would you like to, you know, come over? I'm making some salmon and rice. We can get together and hang out. You know, you can lead by example a million different ways. Just remember it is important to, whenever you're asking somebody to do something, I do think it is important to have your side of the street clean, so to speak. Another point, the fourth point that I think is really, really important, and we talked a little

bit about this with common mistakes, is what I call the suntan analogy. So the suntan analogy is this. If you are, let's all for a second close our eyes and pretend that we are pasty, white, freckled, blue-eyed gingers. And we just all got off a plane in Cancun and we got to the resort and we put our SPF 200 on and we're walking outside. If all of us go outside for five minutes and come back in, we'll get a little bit of a tan. And then maybe the next day we do 10 minutes and come back in. And then the next day, 30 minutes and come back in. And eventually we'll get a really nice tan. The graded exposure to the sun, even for the softest, whitest, most pale, opaque, practically

translucent skin can eventually build up some sort of a tan. However, if all of us go outside and just say, hey, let's get the most sun exposure possible. Let's tan up as fast as possible. We will burn so badly that none of us will be able to go outside for an extended period of time. And oftentimes this is what happened when people start exercising. They immediately, immediately start with extremes. They go straight to extremes in that they're like, okay, I'm going to exercise. I'm going to lose fat. I'm going to go to the gym every day for a month. The likelihood of failing at going to the gym every day for a month is probably north of 95%. There's almost no world where people get

that done. Not because they can't, not because they don't want it bad enough, because truth be told, gun to your head, I do think people could do it. But it's not sustainable. You're basically replicating the sunburn analogy. So start with what you can. Hey, five minutes a day out in the sun, what's the exercise equivalent of that? You want to go to the gym with me for 30 minutes? Cool. Hey, next week, let's go to the gym twice for 30 minutes. Cool. Hey, want to go on three walks? You know what I mean? Build these people up. Remember that a little bit goes a long way when we're working with the general population and with deconditioned population. Tip number five, I think this is big, particularly for spouses, is remember to be

diplomatic and remember to have some give and take. If you got a husband, for example, and you're really trying to get this guy to start moving and start working out, but he's also trying to get you to watch football on Sundays, maybe you can make a little compromise here. Maybe we can practice some diplomacy and say, hey, I'll watch the game with you on Sunday if we go to the gym for an hour before. Would you do that with me? And maybe you get some pushback, maybe you get some pushback. Maybe you get some reluctance. But you might also get a compromise where that person goes, yeah, I'll do that.

And so start small. Remember that in addition to leading by example, you can also provide support. You can also be diplomatic. You can also make compromises with friends, family, loved ones, children, spouses, etc. Right? Use the power of negotiation and diplomacy to your advantage here and try to work with people. Try to be reasonable. Try to be agreeable. Non-confrontational is usually best. Non-judgmental is usually best. So be diplomatic here. Remember

that. Point number six, be kind to people and remind them that their health matters to you and that their health matters to people around them. And don't make it about you in the sense that like, hey, your health matters to me. So you better get your shit together or I'm going to leave you. That ain't going to work. No, what I mean is remind people that they're important and say, hey, you know what? Let's do this because I know that you want to get your health better. I know that you're thinking about losing some weight. I know that you want to get your health better.

I know that you're thinking about losing some weight. And I know how much that it would mean to you to be able to have some extra time, extra mobility, extra energy around your grandkids, right? So let's do it for them too. You know, work in the other things for people that are motivators. Remind them that their health matters to you and that they're important beyond what they look like and what they feel like and maybe what they weigh. Let them know like, hey, this feel like and maybe what they weigh. Let them know like, hey, this isn't just about what you weigh and exercising. Your health matters to

me. I want you to take good care of yourself. You're a really important person to me. And so if I can help you in any way, let me do that. That kind of shit is so damn powerful. Because one of the reasons a lot of people struggle to stay in shape or struggle to lose weight is because they don't think they matter. Maybe they don't matter enough to themselves. And if they see how much they matter to other people, they might get or be able to free themselves of some of those limiting beliefs. Number seven, recognize when people have done anything, right? Like I know that it might seem pandering and I know that it might seem like, okay, what the fuck are we doing here? We're handing out participation trophies again.

that it might seem like, okay, what the fuck are we doing here? We're handing out participation trophies again. No. Okay. Recognition is huge, especially in a country where 70% of the population is overweight and only 23% of adults meet the aerobic and anaerobic guidelines set forth by the CDC. I think, you know, take, take that with a grain of salt. Some of you like the CDC, some of you don't, but you know, these guidelines are very, very, what I would describe as population level. Like, you know, these are very reasonable, reasonable guidelines and to know that 77% of Americans don't meet them is kind of scary. And so even if somebody goes on a walk, even if somebody goes to the gym for 20 minutes, giving them a high five and saying, Hey, nice job. I see what you're doing over there. That's awesome I'm, super proud of you. Keep it up that shit goes a long way in a world where most people aren't getting enough movement So don't ever ever ever miss an opportunity to recognize and this goes for all behavior change when somebody does anything positive

Like think about this with dogs I have a lot of clients who are absolutely monstrous dog people And when I got Cooper, they said, ignore the bad, reward the good, ignore the bad, reward the good. And I think obviously people are not dogs and there's a lot more nuance in how we communicate with people. But I do think there's a lot of truth to ignore the bad, reward the good. If somebody makes a mistake, don't hammer them on it. Don't be like, oh, just like the last time. No, don't do

that. When they do the right thing, reward them, acknowledge them and recognize them. I think there's a lot of power in that. Another tip, try to keep it about them as much as you can. I already highlighted the importance of letting people know that their health matters to you, letting people know that they matter to you. But don't make it solely about you. Don't be like, if you don't get in shape, I'm leaving you. If you don't get in shape, we're going to have problems. If you don't get in shape, you're going to have problems down the line. No, no, no, no, no. Try to keep it about them, right? Make sure that people know that, Hey, this is important for you. This is important for your wellbeing. I want you to be happy. I want you to be healthy.

How can I support you? How can I help you? Right? Remember to keep it about them and only use the, this is about us. This is important for us. Break in case emergency type of shit, right? That's the only time you should ever use that. And the last little tip I have for you, this one's kind of cheesy, but you can support them through things like surprises, gifts, etc. So if you're looking to help somebody get in shape, you know, and they're somewhat open to the idea, a new pair of gym clothes, new pair of gym shoes, a new water bottle, some weights for the house, a TRX, all these things can go a really long way and just showing people, hey, you matter to me. I went out of my way to offer you support financially, to offer you support in the form of a gift, to offer you

support in the form of thinking of you, you name it, right? These don't necessarily have to be material gifts, but just saying, hey, you're on my mind. Your health matters to me. I'm here for you. You're super important. These are how I would approach these things, guys. So it is tricky to encourage loved ones to work out. I think it's something that we're all touched by every single day. We all have people in our lives that we wish were healthier, that we wish took better care of themselves, but it's not as easy as just telling them

that you need to do this because it's important because to them, it might not feel that important. And one of the best ways to make it feel more important to them is to keep it about them, meet them where they're at, remind them when they are ready to make a change that, hey, look at me, I'm leading by example, my hand is here, ready to hold your hand,

ready to help you through it, ready to provide support. If you fail, you fail. If you're going to do it right and you're gonna make positive steps, I'm gonna recognize it every step of the way and be an advocate for those people because for many of us, for the people listening particularly,

fitness comes really easy. Fitness feels like a habit that's been ingrained for years for most of us. I mean, I think about my audience and I think, wow, most of us are probably those of whom who've been working out regularly for a really long time. And we have our little communities in the gym. We have our little communities online where we think that most people behave the way we behave, but that's not in fact the case. Like I said, 77% of Americans don't even come close to touching the activity recommendations set forth by the CDC. So if we can't even get there, we have a problem. And we're not going to get people, the 77% of people who don't meet those guidelines, to a six day a week push pull leg

split. We got to meet people where they're at. We got to be positive. We can't be judgmental. We can't hammer them. But I do think in the long run, we can do it. So guys, that will do it for today's episode. Thanks so much for listening. If you haven't already hit the subscribe button, share this. You have no clue how many people might need to hear something like this. Maybe they're struggling with a spouse, a kid, a parent, somebody who they really want to live healthier, and they've tried communicating with them, but they're just hitting a brick wall. So sharing this to your Instagram story, sharing it via word of mouth, leaving me a five-star rating and written review on iTunes goes a really long way. But again, every single one of you who's already subscribed, you help keep the podcast going. I owe you all a

personal thank you, and I would be remiss if I didn't say thanks so much for your continued listenership, continuing to share, continuing to leave awesome reviews. You are all an awesome family and I appreciate every single one of you. Stay tuned for the next episode.