Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 119: The Art of Picking A Fight | Ear Biscuits Ep. 119

Episode Date: November 6, 2017

Rhett & Link dig into their own stories about time they've picked a fight with someone, and go into the Mythical Mail Bag to see what sorts of scraps listeners have found or almost found themselves in as well on this week's Ear Biscuits. Follow This Is Mythical: Facebook: http://facebook.com/ThisIsMythical Instagram: http://instagram.com/ThisIsMythical Twitter: http://twitter.com/ThisIsMythical Other Mythical Channels: Good Mythical Morning: https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2 Good Mythical MORE: https://youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3 Rhett & Link: https://youtube.com/rhettandlink Hosted By: Rhett & Link Executive Producer: Stevie Wynne Levine Managing Producer: Cody D'Ambrosio Production Manager: Jacob Moncrief Technical Director: Meggie Malloy Editor: Meggie Malloy & Ty Schmieder Graphics: Matthew Dwyer Set Design/Construction: Cassie Cobb Content Manager: Becca Canote Logo Design: Carra Sykes To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I am Rhett. And I am Link. Today at the round table of dim lighting, we're gonna fight. No, we're gonna discuss fights. We're gonna pick some fights, we're gonna resolve some fights,

we're gonna discuss all things related to conflict. Well not all things. Yeah that's very broad. A comprehensive promise. Well I made a very broad promise and I wanna retract it. You know my motto, don't be comprehensive. Yeah just be apprehensive. I say that all the time.

I'm comprehensively apprehensive, but we're gonna talk about some ridiculous arguments that you, Mythical Beasts, have gotten into, and I think we can help solve some of these riddles and bring some stasis to some relationships. Now, there will not be comprehensive solutions. No. There will be specific solutions to your situation, but let me tell you right now, I can say this factually,

confidently, and thoroughly, that we will be giving you solid answers that are morally respectable, easy to act on, and if you do not follow our advice, that is your prerogative, I'm not gonna, I backed off a little bit. easy to act on, and if you do not follow our advice, that is your prerogative, I'm not gonna, I backed off a little bit. I was gonna say that you are responsible for your own actions if you don't, but that's true anyway.

Sometimes just talking about the specific conflict and acknowledging its existence makes the elephant disappear and in the least, we'll do that. But where does the elephant go after it disappears? The backyard, still gotta feed that elephant. They eat a lot. Is it pink? I'm confused.

The pink elephant is different than the elephant in the room. The elephant in the room is never pink. What about the one with memory? That's all of them. All, there's so many different elephant tropes, you know? I bet there's more. There's the circus elephant, circus peanuts elephant.

I don't know what that one is exactly. Yeah, I don't understand. You get paid in peanuts. So we're gonna get into the deep end of some conflict. Mm-hmm, maybe share some of our own conflicts with each other and with our family. Oh really? But first, you want an update from me?

Is that what this is about? I just wondered, do you want an update from me? Because I got a big update. Okay, sure, I'd love an update from you. I got a big ol' update for you. Christy and Lily went to see Hamilton last night. How in the world did they figure that out? They got tickets.

Their friend got tickets. But that's, you know, that's like, that's not easy to do. Well, it was LA Hamilton, so it was like ripoff Hamilton. It wasn't like Broadway Hamilton. It's the same people. It's not the same people. It's not the same people. It's not the same people as the original cast,

but if you go to New York right now, you won't see the original cast. Right. You won't see that dude. Lin Manuel Noriega. Manuel? Miranda. Miranda.

Miranda. Yeah. Who sings. Yeah, he's gone, he's done. He'll probably come back for like a farewell thing at some point. Oh yeah, he's been gone, man. He did like that Moana. Yeah. He's checked out.

Woof, he forgot he even did it. So hold on, so what you're telling me is that anything other than the original with him is a ripoff? I actually don't know. But I think if you're gonna, I mean if you saw him, you're bragging, you're going around town bragging. I saw Hamilton when Lin-Manuel Miranda was in it. Well yeah of course, that's better.

But at this point in time, getting into the LA show, I listen, I know nothing about Broadway. I've only been to a couple of shows in my lifetime. You've only been to one and it was Lion King. And it was amazing. We talked about that. I was not invited. But this is still quite a feat though.

This is still a major life event. Oh, they were super pumped about it and I was super not invited. Because, I mean, for the past year, they've been listening to these Hamilton songs. Like, Eliza, like, you know, all of these Hamilton songs. Is there one with Eliza in it? Yeah, yeah, I just sang part of it.

That's all I know. There's a lot of rapping. I've listened to it. I listened through it one time. And let me tell you, I mean, Lily is just obsessed with it, her friends are obsessed with it, that's why it's like playing in the car

and Christy starts to learn the lyrics. And I just, they've really ruined it for me. Oh wow. Like. Is it that they can't sing? I don't know. They don't have any rhythm? I've never been interested in seeing it

because just a bunch of teenagers singing it in a minivan is not appealing. Just like a 13-year-old girl rapping about Hamilton is not cool to me. I'm sorry. If I wanna listen to rap music, I'm gonna listen to Kendrick, man. I'm gonna listen to some good stuff.

Well I think what you're. And I just feel like it's not good. What you're hinting at right here. It's good for plays. Okay, exactly, okay, now this is controversial but I'm on your team. And I just heard it from 14 year old girls in a minivan. I'm on your team here, so let me just say

my opinion on this. Yeah. And it's not an informed opinion, because it's not like I've witnessed a lot of this, but I have listened to the Hamilton soundtrack, and my opinion on it is exactly what you said, is that if any of these songs just popped on the radio, you'd be like, what is this cheesy stuff?

What is this cheesy rap? And I'm not even talking about because it's rapping about Alexander Hamilton. But just the approach, everything about it. Yeah it's just got a schmaltziness to it. It's musical, it fits in the context of a musical. Now within the context of a musical, it's like incredibly innovative. And I know that.

It's like remarkable. People are growing hair on their hate right now. That's how some people, we're getting some people that riled up. Did you make that expression up? Growing hair on your hate? You've never heard that? I've never heard that until right now.

I just made it up. Yeah, I figured. But you know what I mean, right? They're getting so riled up, they're growing hair on their hate. Yeah, I understand what you mean., but you know what I mean, right? They're getting so riled up, they're growing hair on their hate. Yeah, I understand what you mean. They're gonna have to shave their hate. And we're not saying.

I'm not trying to make anybody mad, but I know I am. Two men who have not seen Hamilton and only one of us even has any immediate family members who've seen it. We know that we don't even seem qualified. I'm just saying that I've listened to the music and I actually think that a person who's listened to the music and not seen the production

is actually in the best position to judge the music itself. And I'll be like, again. Every time I hear it, there's like teenage girls rapping it. I listen to it by myself, no teenage girls at all. Oh really, okay. Just me in a car. I feel like I'm the impartial one here. You are because I am ronked. And I was like, this is good for a musical.

This is excellent for a musical. But if you played Kendrick and then you played that, you'd be like, well what is this cheesy stuff? Right, it's like watching a movie, like a really good movie versus watching like a made for TV movie. But let me say it also at the same time. If Kendrick, if you took a Kendrick song

and tried to use it in a musical, it wouldn't work in a musical. You see what I'm saying? Like it would not work. Don't say it would work, it wouldn't work. So actually I'm talking myself back around and I realize that Hamilton is the pinnacle of musical music.

Now what Christy told me. It's still a little cheesy compared to Kendrick. What Christy told me this morning that was news to me was that there is no dialogue at all. It's all? It's all singing. So then, okay, let me think about that, right? It's only the music. Really?

Really, yeah. They never say anything. Never say anything, she says. And you're saying everything that they sing, it can be purchased on the album? So if you listen to the entire album, you've listened to the entire play? I don't know that, but she said,

her and Lily said it was like life alteringly amazing for them, and I just can't. No, and you know what? It would be for me as well. I'm not gonna speak for you. And maybe. I guarantee you if I went to see it in person and I planned on seeing it in person,

I will think it is absolutely amazing. But it's like beer goggles. I am prepared for that. But you told me it was like play goggles. It's like theater goggles. Well it's like. You know how at the theater they've got that thing that you look through?

I have a better analogy, you can finish this one. And it makes you think that it's good? I think that's what those things are for. Yeah, that's not what those things are for. This is, the best analogy is summer camp goggles, okay? So you're at summer camp and you have a limited field of people that you might be attracted to, right? you're at summer camp and you have a limited field of people that you might be attracted to, right? And so you fall in love with this girl at summer camp

and you're like, Amanda is amazing. Amanda is the most beautiful girl. Can we call her Eliza? Eliza is amazing, she's the most beautiful girl. She's so interesting. And then she likes to work, work it. Then you see Eliza just in normal life outside of summer camp and you're like,

I don't really understand what I saw in Eliza. What you saw is you saw through summer camp goggles. That's exactly what I'm saying. Yeah, but you used the thing about the theater and that's not the point of the theater. Yeah, that was a red herring. Right, you really ruined your analogy. I muddied, I didn't ruin it, I just muddied the waters.

I saved it, you're welcome. Yes, right, you saved it, thank you. And so that's what's happening when you go to a musical. The expectations are set in a certain place, and again, I do not believe that if all of a sudden Kendrick came out, then it would become a concert, and a concert is something that is distinctly different than a Broadway show.

Now Green Day did a Broadway show. Never saw it. So I'm curious about that. With their music? Yeah. With the music like from Dookie that you would know? I think it was American Idiot. I don't know for sure, speaking out of school.

But I just, I think if I went there, I'd probably think it was great too. The thing that, I mean, it's like, you know, acapella. I have. Oh, you're gonna do that? And now, you know what, since you already hate me, I hate acapella. Oh gosh.

I don't hate the people, but I hate acapella, until. Until what? Two weekends ago, Lily was like, we should watch Pitch Perfect, and I forgot it was about acapella, and I was like, as long as the whole family can agree on something to watch, this is a victory. Who am I to stand in the way of us finally

all agreeing on something, and everyone wanted to watch Pitch Perfect. One of the best movies I've ever seen in my life. Oh come on, I mean. No, okay. Link, you're losing all kinds of respect. Okay, it wasn't one of the, it was a hilarious movie, totally worthy of two sequels.

In the first one of which we watched The Next Night and it was not as good as the first, but it was still pretty great. Listen, a movie all about acapella and I loved it. To death, man. So you know what? Maybe I'm wrong. Well, here's what I'll say about acapella.

Shout out to Flula, he did a great job in Pitch Perfect, too. Acapella is. It was a well-written movie. Acapella. And it was very self-deprecating, which allowed me to like a movie about acapella is. It was a well written movie. Acapella. And it was very self deprecating, which allowed me to like a movie about acapella. Please continue.

Acapella is great in person, okay? Right, acapella is like. No. Okay. It's embarrassing. No it's not, hi. Great acapella is great in person. But when you make the decision to buy the album.

I disagree with that, but go ahead. Yeah, that's because we went to that Google party and the Google acapella people sang and they were, it was embarrassing, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys. We are getting smarmy. That was embarrassing.

I mean, first of all, when you're in the midst of like, when you're like at a tech company and you're in the midst of like, when you're like at a tech company, and you're in the midst of the kind of people who work at a tech company, being in the a cappella group makes you cool, but in like the regular world, it's not cool. That's just a fact. But I respect it, but they just thought

so highly of themselves is my impression. I just thought they thought so highly of themselves, is my impression, I just thought they thought so highly of themselves, and they thought they were so great and it really wasn't good. You're misinterpreting the look on their faces thinking highly of themselves, but really it's them trying to hit the notes. They make those faces.

No, no, even as they were setting the songs up. This next one is gonna blow your socks off. They look snooty, but they're really just trying to get on top of the note. Oh! No, it was the, it was the, it was. Come down on it, don're really just trying to get on top of the note. Oh! No, it was the, it was the, it was. Come down on it. It was before and after every song.

And they also weren't as great as they thought they were. But hold on, if you see Pentatonix in person, your heart will explode. I'm telling you right now. I haven't seen them before but I have every reason to believe. I bet you, I bet you I would think that they were great. But.

And I bet you I would think that Hamilton was great, just like I think Pitch Perfect is great. But if I was in a, again, but if I was in a certain mood, maybe if I just put on a Pentatonix album, and I realize there's many people who are touched by just listening to it, but I feel like you're relating it to the experience of seeing it live. That's my personal opinion, and maybe,

that's how I perceive it. So when I experienced Hamilton on its own. I respect how the sausage was made, but I don't like the sausage. Yeah, but if you're at the sausage plant as it's being made and then they give it to you to taste, it will taste better. It's just like when you're camping

and everything tastes better. Context matters. You know what I'm saying? I would gladly go camping with Pentatonix. I would love to do that. In fact, if Pentatonix is listening, if you guys wanna go camping with us, we will make it happen.

Or just the Superfruit guys. Just those two. Whoever we can get from Pentatonix. We'll take whoever we can get. And if you guys. The guy who plays the cello with his mouth, we'll take guys. Just those two. Whoever we can get from Pentatonix. We'll take whoever we can get. And if you guys. The guy who plays the cello with his mouth, we'll take him any day of the week. We'll take one or all or any.

All I'm saying is. We will take monotonics, that's what we're saying. If. Diatonics. Yeah, you can keep going until you get back to pentatonics. But if we have a campfire set up and one of you guys starts making noises with your mouth and the other one starts singing,

I'm probably gonna start crying. I'm not kidding. You're gonna cringe a little first, you're like don't do this, don't do this, but then. But if we invite Pentatonix on a camping trip, I think the expectation is that they're gonna sing acapella around the campfire. They're gonna bust out.

And I will weep openly, unashamedly, but I'm just gonna tell you right now that I'm not going to enjoy the album. That's just my personal opinion. That's how, lots of people do. They sell crap tons of albums. Oh yeah. I know that we've made a lot of people upset.

And I know that we're the ones who are wrong. Yeah. But we have to be honest. Right. We have to get it out there. To the detriment of our careers. This is where it, this is when. Hopefully we haven't lost any fans. A whole chunk of Mythical Beasts just sloughed off.

That's what it sounds like when they realize who we really are. Yeah. I'm sorry if we've broken any hearts. It's like a dead skin cell, except we're the dead skin cell. Yeah. Ear Biscuits is supported by NatureBox.

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Naturebox.com slash ear. Think inside of the nature box. Stacks. And now on with the biscuit. Let's get into some fights. There's a chapter of our book of mythicality called Pick a Fight Worth Picking and we tell a number of stories of fights that we got into.

I think it's just called Pick a Fight. I think at one point it was called Pick a Fight Worth Picking. The badge says Pick a Fight Worth Picking. That you can earn by reading and applying the chapter. I tell the story in detail that I think I told on A Good Mythical More of having an altercation at a gas station where I thoroughly embarrassed my entire family in tow in my minivan when some dude let me have it

and I totally deserved it. And so that's detailed there. I don't wanna rehash it here. You tell the story of a fight that you wish you would've picked, that you would have stood up for yourself in a dressing room involving a young woman and her father who had a tattoo of like a taloned hawk on his head.

Yeah. That was crazy, man. Yeah, it was. And you shrunk like the shirt you were trying on and you regret it to this day. Yeah, we're trying to go back. We represent two extremes, like maybe avoiding conflict in your case to the point of regret to just diving in

head first, I would say mouth first, into an argument and then regretting it. Potentially putting my family in harm's way or at least. My wife. Put my wife in harm's way and my kids getting an education on a bunch of new expletives from a guy at a gas station. But we also ask you guys to tell us some conflicts that you've been a part of. expletives from a guy at a gas station. But we also asked you guys to tell us

some conflicts that you've been a part of. What was the prompt? It was tell us about a dust up you've had that went wrong or weird or funny. Mm-hmm. We got one from Adam Charles Stumpf. At a bar a guy bumped my shoulder then shoved me saying sup bro.

I said loudly do you wanna hug? He did not know how to process and just walked away. He didn't say sup bro, he said saying sup bro. I said loudly do you wanna hug? He did not know how to process and just walked away. He didn't say sup bro, he said what's up bro? Like you wanna start something? Yeah he was mad. What's up? And then he said you wanna hug? That was risky.

That was risky. That was real risky because that could have ended with a, depends on who you say that to. Could have been a bear hug. Or it could have been a punch right in the face. Right, I'm gonna hug my five fingers, make a sandwich, and then I'm gonna knock you. So you could say that this diffused the situation

because it confused and therefore diffused. But I have to say that I think, Adam, you got lucky on this one. I don't necessarily think that this was a wise call. I think you got lucky, my friend. I don't necessarily think that this was a wise call. I think you got lucky, my friend. Yeah. You said it to the right person. You said the wrong thing to the right person.

Lillian St. Clair at Find the Fish 14X says, "'Tried to yell at a bad driver after he cut me off. "'Brain' said, go ahead, be my guest. "'But her mouth said, go ahead, be my guest. But her mouth said, go ahead, be my friend. You know, sometimes when you're at that moment of confrontation, the wrong thing comes out. If you're me at least. Yeah, right, you can relate to that.

I mean, the most famous story is, I was on the beach with you and Jessie and Christy. And Christy was very pregnant at the time and it was a deep beach. Deep enough for a bunch of college kids to be playing football behind us and we were at the shore and we were walking back up and Christy was tired and she walked back before me.

And so I see her and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, as she's getting to the steps to go back to the hotel, she gets mauled by a shirtless collegiate student who was trying to catch a football. He was doing the wide receiver thing like looking back over his shoulder and ran and just ran right into Christy.

Christy falls on the ground and she's like pregnant, like ripe. I don't know if ripe is the correct word to use. Bop to pop, like a watermelon. And I ran over there and I got in the guy's face and my brain was not engaged and I was like, what are you thinking? Oh, I remember.

So we got a lot of mileage out of that. What are you thinking? And he was like. And the answer was, I'm thinking I'm playing a football game and your wife just walked into the field. Yeah, she walked literally through the middle of a football game. Yeah.

I mean, you wouldn't think, like if. And then his response was very apologetic but he had every right to be, I mean, when a pregnant woman's lying in the dirt, there's not much else you can do besides just help her. Even if the husband is like ranting a little bit. It's understandable but it was, I made it very awkward. And you also didn't back down.

I mean you did back down but you both, actually you and Christy, and it's interesting because I feel like you guys are both alike in this way. Yeah. Like you both got mad. Right, but it was an honest mistake. And you stayed mad. So it wasn't like you got mad and then you realize

how ridiculous it was to be mad. You both got mad because Christy stood up and said, gah! And then y'all both just walked off and I was just like, whoa. Well it was a scary moment when you. What is happening right now? So I think that that's,

so I think that your number one mistake was what you said but your number two mistake was. I held a grudge. Still being mad about it and not seeing the humor in it until probably like the next day. Like I probably didn't even say anything about it. I probably didn't even, dude you realize that? That guy did nothing wrong at all.

Like he did nothing wrong. Like how could he have changed his actions to be any different? Like what would he have done differently? Right? I'm not gonna defend myself. No, I'm just saying that in the moment you had the inability to process

that he had no other choice than to do what he did. I was going totally on instinct. And you know what, sometimes it's like, go ahead, be my friend. Bambi and Friends says, one time my friend got kicked out of a pizza shop at 3 a.m. because she punched a guy in the face when he said, hamsters are.

Well that's, them is fighting words, man. I guess. Just to clarify, she was defending her hamster's honor. Oh, he was talking smack about a hamster. She was, I don't know, punch a guy in the face for that? I wonder how that ended. At a pizza shop? I mean, if you're at a pizza shop at 3 a.m.,

talking about hamsters. Right. You pretty much deserve any situation that you get yourself into, I think. You gotta watch, you gotta watch. I don't mean you have a time piece. I mean you've gotta be vigilant of yourself and your friends. But honestly, I mean.

Don't cross Bambi's friends. But hamsters, think about how differently this would have gone if he had said hamsters are the. You know, think about how that changes everything. Just simply adding the. Yeah, it would have turned into a high five. Yeah, heck yeah, man, hamsters.

This next one I wanna read, it's kind of a longer story, but I wanna, just settle in, I wanna read it to you because it's kind of funny and it's honest. Cassie Rae Phillips says, my mother, who sadly passed away two years ago from cancer, loved my husband even when we started dating. She would tell me constantly that I should marry him after she met him.

My husband also has long hair and a large beard and he did when we started dating and he does now. He shaved his beard and cut his hair off when he started looking for a job when he graduated college and then he was sitting at the kitchen table with me when my mom comes in. She's polite, she's southern and she looks at me and tells me to meet her

in the other room across the house. Uh oh. Then her mom starts screaming, well this is her writing, my mom starts screaming at me for cheating on my now husband, going on about how I'm terrible to do that to him. I simply go, no mom, that's him. Which just made her go insane.

Claiming she didn't raise her daughter to be a lying, cheating harpy. Hmm, hadn't heard that before. All brave and serious, she threatens to call him. I gladly hand her my phone and at this point, she's so disgusted with me. It's comical to me. I'm laughing while she is so angry.

I'm sure she would have buried me. She storms into the kitchen and forces me to come in while she humiliates me. Come in here, right now in front of this guy who you're cheating on your husband with. This clean shaven man. And then she's, I'm calling him right now. She calls him, his phone rings right there,

because it's him. She realizes it. She calmly hangs up, sets the phone down, turns around and walks out of the kitchen. I'm in tears laughing laughing explaining to my now husband and he started laughing so hard he started crying. I didn't see my mom for three days. That one kinda speaks for itself.

That one speaks for itself. I mean it almost sounds like a movie scene. Yeah. It's almost like this may be from a movie and Cassie's just trying to get us to believe that it happened to her. I don't know the movie, though. It certainly wasn't in pitch perfect one or two,

which I will never forget. Yeah, you recently enjoyed, so therefore you know that hopefully they all reconciled later. Erin Croissant. My younger sister and I are best friends, but we fight over the dumbest things because siblings. Once when I was in high school,

we got into a shouting match over something I can't even recall now. What sticks in my memory was my breaking point during that particular fight. Emma, my sister, took the pickle she happened to be eating throughout this entire thing, squeezed it, and flicked the juice all over my face. She ran immediately, which was wise of her.

I'll get her back one day. It's always good to bring a pickle to a fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. Because really, what can go wrong? First of all, it's difficult to hit somebody who's eating a pickle. Because it just feels like it's gonna be messy.

Kind of like a person with glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't wanna punch a person with a pickle. Take your glasses off. Take your tie off, take the pickle out of your mouth. Can you put down the pickle so I can punch you? Right. You don't wanna pickle punch somebody.

You don't wanna catch the pickle instead of the face too. Because then you could literally just kill them if you hit it hard enough and it goes right down their throat. And that's not what you're trying to do when you punch somebody in the face. I mean you're not actually trying to kill them.

You're just trying to shake them up a little bit. This reminds me of the story of when I was hanging out at your house and you got into an altercation with your older brother Cole and evidently you had deodorant in your hand. So not a pickle but you tell the story. I always carry deodorant. You're like, you have it on your person?

Well as a teenager, very shortly after I realized that a certain smell could emit from my underarms, I was like I need to be ready at all times. I don't know if you always had deodorant. I was just at home and for some reason had deodorant. But Cole was doing something that he did quite often and he loved it when he could get one of my friends involved. And so he was saying

that I liked Melissa Hood. Did you? I did not. Did you? I did not. Did you? I did not. I think you did.

And so, and I don't remember, I don't know exactly where this came from. I don't know why he had pinpointed her as who he was, you know, and it made me mad and I was denying it. And of course, then he gets you involved. And so now you're. He likes her, doesn't he? And then you're like, yeah, he likes her,

because you saw where this was going. Yeah, you're getting irate. And then, did you stay with him? Or were you with me when the deodorant projectile happened? I think I stayed with you. I mean, I didn't wanna have to go home. I was really mad at him and I was chasing him and he ran into his room.

Slammed the door. And just as he slammed the door, like from, this is basically the length of the house because I was throwing it from what my parents used to call the extra room to Cole's room. Across the stairwell. I threw a fastball and the deodorant just hit the. You threw it, then he slammed the door.

And then it just. He intercepted the deodorant with the door. And it obliterated the like antiperspirant slash deodorant. It was white. It was one of those that like, when it hit the door, it burst everywhere. It was like white. It really symbolized my anger at the time.

Yeah, I can see it in my brain now like watching it on a slow-mo Phantom camera. But I think that the moral of the story is having an object is, you don't wanna, like if you're playing a role playing game, you don't go get into a fight before you equip yourself with something. And in real life, that might be a pickle

and it might be deodorant. Don't pick, you need to look at what someone's got in their hand before you pick a fight with them, I think is another way to look at it. That's true if you're on the other end of it. I mean, you damaged the drywall in your own bedroom. But that was just out of pure anger over something. I don't even remember what it was.

You punched through the wall? No, I kicked the wall. You kicked the wall? Yeah, and the heat. You don't remember what that was? But it was Cole. I don't know. I don't know who it was.

It wasn't me. He's mad about something. We didn't get into a lot of fights. I mean I would come over there and you and Cole would get into fights. Like he'd get mad because you took one of his CDs or something. Oh yeah, Cole and I fought all the time.

And my kids fight all the time, all the time. Like constantly. But it's not much of a fight because it's a 13 year old and a nine year old. So it's not like there's a, I mean sometimes it gets a little physical but it's Locke overreacting in some way and like pushing Shepherd or something like that but it's not anything where I have to like step in.

But they get in fights all the time. Yeah like Lando will will find something on the table that's nasty and then he'll, it'll be on his hand and then instead of rubbing it on the napkin, he'll rub it on Lily or Lincoln. And then they will explode and then they'll grab him and pin him down. So does he do this to, he's instigating?

It's almost just instinctive. It's like, I mean there's so much at each other's throats that like yeah, he's not sly about it. Like mm, I'm gonna do this, ha, I gotcha. It's more just like. He just finds himself doing it. He finds himself doing the most annoying thing to his siblings.

Oh, that would make me so mad. Yeah, and it's just, and then they'll do stuff back to each other. You didn't have to worry about this. No. As an only child. I was a brooding, lonely, only child that like meticulously posed my GI Joe figures. Wouldn't let anyone come over and touch them.

Did you fight your step siblings? Well, okay. So Emmy, who was like four years older than me, I would like passive aggressively judge her. But I wouldn't actually get in fights with her. Like I remember criticizing her to my mom about how she would leave a steady dried up stream of toothpaste on her sink.

I disapproved of that. But there was no physical, I mean usually it's gonna be two boys or two girls and usually two boys are the ones that are actually gonna physically fight. And we had this understanding, it's like I don't think we really considered each other siblings. We considered each other like housemates. Like okay, you're Jimmy's daughter who's my stepdad

but you're not my sister. It was weird and I think she treated me the same way. It was like we tolerated each other as if we both were like, we lived in like adjacent rooms of a hotel, like neighbors. When's the last time you talked to her? I don't, since Jimmy and mom got divorced, I don't think I ever talked to her again.

Like so third grade. That is crazy. We didn't have a sibling relationship. So we didn't have those sibling fights. It was more like, yeah she lived there. I remember when I was in, I mean she must have been older than, four years older than me because when I was in third grade, she was,

I remember she started going out on dates. Yeah, she was older than four years. She was like 15. She was a teenager when we were kids. She had like a 17 year old boyfriend who would come over in his car. It was like Camaro. Got a car, man, that guy's got a car.

Look at that guy. Can't believe it, got a car. It was weird. Well you should reach out. I think what I'm getting at is you should reach out. You know, I mean we never fought that much. Let's get coffee so we can. I've been thinking about the fact

that we didn't really ever consider ourselves siblings and we're definitely not siblings now so let's get coffee. This is one, one more from you guys and then we'll get into some of your disputes that you're having that you would like us to settle. Oh yeah, yeah we got those. Katie Lynn Wilson, speaking of kids, yeah lately I fight my three year old every day

to wear clothes. Some days I win and some days I have to watch him run around pantsless. Pantless, not pantsless. Pantless? It's both words. Yeah, I totally understand. Patti Pantless would be a good country singer.

You know? Patti Pantless? Patti Pantless and she just performs in like just a, you know, just, I don't know, just a really short bottom, you know? That would really catch on. Patti Pantless, opening up for Patty Loveless tonight, we've got Patty Pantless.

Lando is seven and he likes to wear clothes but the thing he doesn't, the altercation that we get into is that he has to go, he has to have an escort to walk to his room. Because he's scared to go to the room or to the bathroom because of the way our house is set up. Like you have to go this way and then hang a left and go down the hallway and it's dark and scary to him.

I have to escort him to the restroom. And then if he's like taking a shower, he's like, dad, I don't want you in here, but I want you right out here while I'm taking a shower. What, he makes you stand guard? Yeah, like a security guard. While he showers? Yes. You still do this?

You don't actually stay there, you act like you're there. I don't. I act like I'm there and then I leave and I try to time it where I'm back when he gets out of the shower, but last time I heard him, I was like doing something else. I was living my life, my best life, and all of a sudden I hear him, I was like doing something else. I was living my life, my best life, and all of a sudden I hear him screaming,

Dad! You left! You left me! You left me in the shower in our house. Yeah, he's so, you know, spooked. Oh gosh. And I'm sympathetic, because I was the same way, but I can't,

I'm doing the wrong thing by even escorting him. Like, he almost peed his pants a few days ago because I would not get up from the dinner table in order to escort him to the restroom. Well this is a difficult thing. Shepard is, you know, he just turned nine so he's recently kind of transitioned out of this. In our house, all of our rooms are upstairs.

But if we're watching TV and it's time to go to bed and if he's gonna go to bed early, it has been in the last 12 months that he's gotten to a place where he didn't really complain about going up the stairs. Now we would make him do it, but there were lots of times when we took him up there. But this is the continual fight that I had with my wife,

is I'm like, well my parents would have never done this. My parents would have been like, boy, you want me to escort you upstairs? Forget about it and I would have just gone upstairs. But like, this is a different generation. Right, we coddle. We escort them upstairs and stand guard while they shower. What do we do to our children?

Jordan Warner posted. Well this is a. Well yeah, we put a new post out. This is a different prompt. Well hold on, here's the, we put out a new prompt which was tell us about an argument slash disagreement you've had with someone recently. Maybe we can help resolve it.

And the reason why I wanted to put out that post is after I read this one. So I wanted to read this one from Kyle Hurtubis. I think that's how you say that. Kyle Hurtubis. To this day the biggest fight my wife and I have ever had is over the pronunciation of taco. What?

Okay, I'm interested. We have been through job loss, buying a house, horrible catering experience with our wedding, our luggage lost on our honeymoon, and yet to this day the biggest issue we have ever had is how to say taco. I have said it with a soft A my entire life. She says it with a hard A.

Hard A. Taco? I guess she says taco. In retrospect, if that is our biggest problem as a couple, we are lucky. However, the fight continues to this day and will most likely start again after this post. Well hopefully we can end it for you today, Kyle.

No one in their right mind says taco. I mean, Kyle's wife, your name is not listed. That's good for you, because we would be all over it right now. I'm sorry to say. You're so wrong. But you have no ground here. Taco makes no sense.

No. I mean just say it to yourself out loud. Now first of all, maybe we're wrong. Maybe soft versus hard means something else, but to me a hard A would be taco. Or maybe take-o. But taco is soft. Is a hard A would be taco. Or maybe take-o. But taco is soft. Is a soft A.

And that is definitely the pronunciation of taco. I mean, is this like a, like an upper northwest kind of, is this a dialect somewhere I don't know about? Yeah. I hope not. I mean, I can't think of a context here. Now, okay, here it is.

If I was writing a rap and I wanted to rhyme taco and wacko, you know, if I had, or if I said tobacco and then I was like, oh, I really want taco to work, I would be like, look at you over there with your tobacco and look at me over here with my little taco. I might say it like that. That may work in Hamilton, but that doesn't work

in like radio rap. Right, Kendrick Lamar would never do that, but I'm sure that Lin-Manuel Miranda would do that. Here's the thing with Kyle, Kyle's profile picture has his wife in it. Well they love, I mean he still loves her even though she's wrong about this.

And she is so wrong about it. And that is a wonderful thing, but she's definitely wrong. I mean there's, this is not, this isn't even worth discussing anymore. Read Jordan Warners. My brother puts PB and jelly on one slice of bread and then puts the other on top.

Please put him to shame. Jordan's brother takes one slice of bread, spreads peanut butter on it, then scoops out jelly and spreads it on the top of the peanut butter while there's a whole other piece of bread naked over there. Please put him to shame. Well first of all Jordan. We don't like to shame people.

I think that you're coming at this the wrong way. I don't think the point is to shame. Now we may have shamed Kyle's wife but she says taco. So I mean it's like we do have our standards here. But there's two sides of this argument and there's the jelly side and the peanut butter side. No, the two sides of this argument and there's the jelly side and the peanut butter side. No, the two sides of this argument are, well it's gonna end up the same anyway.

I just wonder what happens in the jar of the second thing you dip in because that's what's not the same. Well does this involve a cleaning of the knife before or does this involve a separate utensil? I guess it would, right? Because that doesn't matter either way. Right, because if it doesn't matter, you would clean it.

What I do is I spread the peanut butter and then I use the naked bread to clean any remaining peanut butter off onto the naked bread. That's smart. And then I dip it into the jelly now that I have it so as not to contaminate the jelly with peanut butter. That's, and I haven't solved the issue.

I lick and wash. No you don't. I lick and wash. If I'm making one for my kids, or if I'm making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and it's only for my kids and I'm making it for my wife. Hey baby. I do the peanut.

Guess what I'm making for you down here. The peanut butter, the peanut butter tax is just, I thought that was just an expected part of parenting. So I do the peanut butter side first and then I lick the peanut butter off, get a little, that's my payment for doing this. And then I take it and I wash it under water and then wipe it down and then I go into the jelly.

And then I get the jelly and then I lick the jelly as well. Here's the problem, because we're not anywhere close to solving the problem. Double lick. We're on, I disapprove of that. But they're your kids and they can get whatever you've got. I wash the germs off, man. You rinse.

Okay. That does it, that does it. Yeah, that's fine. What we're really getting at is then at that moment when you're dipping the jelly and you're gonna spread it on top of the peanut butter, it's really hard to get a good jelly spread on a peanut butter surface. It's like driving on ice. Right.

So it's not, I mean, I don't think it's worth shaming somebody over, it's just I think you're missing, if you have a huge dollop of jelly, that then you're kinda spreading jelly on jelly on top of peanut butter, maybe that could work? No, but I do think your brother is wrong, but I don't think he needs to be shamed, I think he needs to be taught.

So I just think that you need to, you don't have to use the lick method, you're not a parent, maybe you are a parent, but I doubt that you are yet. Maybe you are a parent, but I doubt that you are yet. If you are a parent, I definitely encourage the lick and wipe. Just specifically with a knife that's got peanut butter on it.

Not in any. Don't ever wipe and lick in life. But what about goober, goober grape? Well here's the interesting thing, my dad will do this thing where he'll take peanut butter, he'll take a scoop or two or three, put it in a bowl, then he'll take a scoop or two or three of jelly. He does the mix?

And then he mixes. Sir, mix a lot. He mixes a lot in the bowl and then he will spread that. I gotta respect that. I like to lick that spoon. Let me tell you, that is interesting because it tastes different. It's a different taste. It's making a new substance. Oh.

And if you've never done it, it's kind of a. When did you first see this? It's kind of a head tilt thing. When did he do this? This is amazing. Every Christmas night, we go to Nan and Papa's house and we have breakfast for dinner.

It's like a tradition. We have like bacon and eggs and sausage and grits and these biscuits that my Aunt Tisi can like, she knows when to pop a biscuit out of the oven. Cause I like a almost raw biscuit. Then she'll leave some in longer if you like a brown biscuit. And she'll leave some in longer if you like a brown biscuit, and then my dad.

You put peanut butter and jelly on the biscuit? And then it's kind of like a dessert, you eat that whole meal and then you have a dessert which is peanut butter and jelly on a biscuit. Not just butter and jelly. No. Because butter and jelly is also a wonderful creation. I've never had that.

You never put butter and jelly together? Well yeah, but I've never mixed it together, but yes, you're right. So he'll mix the peanut butter and jelly together? Well yeah, but I've never mixed it together. But yes, you're right. So he'll mix the peanut butter and jelly and then it's its own thing, it's amazing. You realize that this is the kind of thing that would go viral on Reddit. It probably already has.

But if you're like, home for Christmas, my dad just mixed peanut butter and jelly, then put it on the sandwich. And you have a good picture of it, it would get like 50,000 upvotes. And it's, because it's some, and I, when you try it, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. It is a different thing.

I believe it. And I actually don't know if I like it as good. Well, because it may adulterate the peanut butter. I mean, that may be what's happening. Actually, the peanut butter is strong when the way he does it, which is great for me, but still, there's something weird about it. It almost tastes like tainted peanut butter is strong in the way he does it, which is great for me, but still, there's something weird about it. It almost tastes like tainted peanut butter

the way he does it. Well that's not an endorsement. Faith Leach. That's what I call goober, I love goober grape by the way too. But it's distinctly too, it's not mixed. Stripes. So do they still have that?

Do they still sell goober grapes? Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. Faith Leach brings up something that my wife and I actually recently got into an argument about. My husband and I have an ongoing argument about the word several. I use it as a number slightly more than three. He says it means seven.

We have been married 11 years and still quibble over it. Okay well. What is, okay go ahead. Definitively it does not mean seven, okay. I mean when he says that it means seven, he's obviously taking the. He's taunting her. He's taking the root, he's saying sev

and then saying several and seven. Well that's just not, that can't be right. I think he's just trying to tick her off. But the argument that Jessie and I got into was, and you were there for this, I think it was when we were in New York, I said several was, and you were there for this, I think it was when we were in New York, I said several was four, okay, but I thought that several could mean four or more

was my technical definition of it. And she said several can mean three. And I was like, well three is a few. Well we know that a couple is two. Bring me a couple of napkins. I've always thought that a couple was two, a few was three, and several was four or more, but not like seven.

Well. A handful was five, because that's five. A handful is five, you got five fingers, a handful. You know what, you smack of a, like an English teacher, like grading a bibliography right now. And it's, you're on thin ice, brother. Really? When you're that specific about something

no one gives a crap about, you're like, who cares if I'm missing a period and two spaces in my bibliography? Nobody reads the bibli-freaking-ographies. Yes, I'm citing my source. Like, the heart behind this is that I'm giving the credit where credit is due. Like, why are you nitpicking a semicolon?

And that's why I hate English. Yeah, but I'm just saying. Because I got graded on the semicolon location in the bibliography. So. You're Googling this? No, no, no. Your argument is so weak you gotta Google?

No, no, but I'm not technically right. I'm just saying this is what it was in my family. Okay, okay. All I can say is I know that seven is not correct. Well, I'm with you on that. So I'm just saying if you tell me several. Several. I've always thought it was.

She said slightly more than three. Right, well, so. Well, so. Well, hold on, before you read this, I don't know what my position is. Can I think for one second? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couple is two. Can I have a few napkins?

How many do I expect? If I gave you two napkins and you asked for a few. I wouldn't quibble. You wouldn't quibble, but if you said, can I have a few M&Ms and I gave you two? I'd feel cheated. You wouldn't quibble, but if you said, can I have a few M&Ms, and I gave you two. I'd feel cheated. You'd feel a little cheated, right? Because three napkins is just excessive

for anybody except a baby. Can I have, can you bring several napkins? That would be a weird request in general, using several. If you brought me three napkins. Can I have several M&Ms? It's like, no one even says that. So give me a sentence that I would actually say first of all. Like where would I ever ask for several of those?

How many books have you read this month? Oh several. Okay, you got me. All right so now I'm good. I'm in a sweet spot. I'm in it. I've read several books. Well if I ask you how many books have you read and you said I've read several books. Well if I ask you how many books have you read

and you said I've read several, I would be thinking that you had read not three, more than three. Definitely more than three. More than three, right? But if I said three. But not seven. But if I said three.

Probably four. Four to five. Exactly. Maybe six. That's four to six is several. Okay, I'm on the same page with you. Oh okay. But if I had said three, you wouldn't feel cheated, I'm on the same page with you. Oh, okay. But if I had said three, you wouldn't feel cheated.

You'd be like, well, okay, you kinda overestimated. But if I said a few, see, the technical definition of several is more than two, but not many. But not many more than two, what? So I've always thought, so I'm not saying that I definitely know that several can't also mean three, but it definitely means more than two, and it definitely does not mean seven.

I think it means four or more, because I think few means three, even though I know that doesn't make sense, it's just the way my brain works. I do think that a handful is a subset of several, which we agree with, because we're saying several is four to six, and a handful is five.

But wouldn't the world work better if a couple was two, a few was three, several was four, a handful was five, and then seven is just like, just say seven. Well, it makes me think of that moment when you're at a fast food restaurant and you're going through the drive-thru at Taco Bell and they're like, you want some hot sauce with that?

And then I'm like, uh, yeah. And then they're like, how many? And I'm like, I can't answer that. You know, you wanna just, I'll just, a handful. But then, no I don't want a handful. I just want a few. But a handful of, five. A handful of hot sauces is a lot. I feel guilty.

I can fit a lot in my hand. And so then I'm like, what I'm trying to say is that it's really hard to say a number. If you're like, how many ketchup packets, would you like ketchup with that? Is what they'll ask and I'll be like, yes, I will take three ketchup packets. It's like you're a weirdo if you say a number.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give me a couple. Give me a few. Two? Oh, three or more. I think a few is the right answer for hot sauce. Which I think is three. If you give me two and I say few,

I'd be like, hey, where's the third one? That's what I'd say. But if you say several and there's not at least four, hmm, fisticuffs. Yeah, but Faith, it is definitive, your husband is wrong. It does not mean seven. You guys need to quit arguing about that. Kirstie posted, my parents wanna paint

their living room gold. I told them there's no way. It would look like baby poop. Now Kirstie, I can see from your profile picture that you are married. Which means that hopefully you no longer live with your parents. Because she's hugging up to somebody in a tuxedo

and she's wearing a long white dress. Could just be like a weird cosplay. Now if you, I think it's cosplay. Cosplay is like when you do something like. For a cause. For a cause. It's like a charitable cosplay event. It's like if Hamilton donated all their money tonight

to underprivileged rappers. It's Costco and cosplay. Just Costco. So I wanna know if if their baby poops gold, then back that baby up to my truck. That's true. First of all, definitely, if you know a baby that poops gold, you shouldn't be on the internet at all.

Right. Unless you're selling that poop. But I think that if you live with your parents, yes, you say, don't do this, you'll embarrass me. But if you if you live with your parents, yes, you say, don't do this, you'll embarrass me, but if you no longer live with your parents, I think this is, no pun intended, a golden opportunity. I would love. To what? I would love for my parents to paint their living room gold.

Why? Just because it would entertain me. You just wanna see the gilded nature of a golden living room? Just the idea that anyone would do that. I, there's some. How shiny is it, I wonder? the gilded nature of a golden living room? Yeah, just the idea that anyone would do that. How shiny is it, I wonder? I hope it's just like a frickin' castle, like a palace. Like Saddam Hussein's bedroom,

one time they put a picture of that somewhere back when Saddam was a thing. Yeah. In a golden bedroom. If my parents wanna make their house look like Saddam's bedroom, I'm like, yeah, this is entertaining for me.

I love to be entertained with no consequence. You know what I'm saying? If your living room's painted gold, before you know it, next thing you know, they're throwing you over the side of a ship. That's not what they did with Saddam. Yeah, it is. They threw Osama over the side of a ship after he died.

That's true. If you believe that. I'm concerned that the golden nature of the living room would interfere my ability to watch the television. Yeah, I'm getting glintage. Oh goodness, I can only see out of one eye watching the Golf Channel or whatever's on television these days. NBA basketball, what do whatever's on television these days.

NBA basketball, what do people watch on television now? Sports? Yeah. Yeah. Connor Bison. I was arguing with a coworker about hot dogs being a type of taco. Hot dogs being a type of taco.

The more they argued about it, the more I began to think they were right. So I don't know exactly what side you're on, Connor, but I assume that this is your coworker saying that they are a type of taco, not a taco. Connor became convinced that a hot dog is a taco. And I think what happens is it's a dangerous place when the argument starts with what is a taco

and you come up with a definition that is, it is a rounded casing open on the top that can be held in one hand, you're on a slippery slope to defining a hot dog as a taco and that is a problem. You gotta start with what is a hot dog. and that is a problem. You gotta start with what is a hot dog. Yeah, but what if you put a hot dog wiener inside of a tortilla, what do you have at that point?

Something a stupid child would do. Because I've done that. Oh. As a child, what I would do is I would take a hot dog, I'd put it in the microwave until it popped a little bit. Then I'd take it, I'd put it into a tortilla. I actually like this better than a hot dog. It sounds better.

And then I would put mustard on it. Well, when we would go camping, you brought this into our camping lives. You said, you know what? Oh yeah, man, I did it in camping. And I thought this was freaking genius for once. Right, because we used, yeah. You were said, you know what? Oh yeah man, I did it in camping. And I thought this was freaking genius for once. Right, because we just, yeah. You were like, you know what?

We're going down the grocery aisle on the way to the camping trip, getting the groceries, and you're like, I'm reaching for the loaf bread, and you're like, ah-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. And then you're like, let's get tortillas. They're smooshable, they're easily packable, and they, yeah, you pack them into stuff and they're not compromised in the way that a loaf bread is.

After four hours of driving or hiking or whatever you're gonna do, your bread turns into a tortilla anyway. Right. And you hate yourself for it. And it tastes great. Yeah, oh, I'll take that. And then we would buy those sausages. The bratwurst with the cheese inside of it.

Yes, and we would wrap them in the tortilla and we would make hot tacos. Hot tacos? A hot, it's happening to us, man. A hot dog is a taco. No it's not, no it's not. It's not, man. I think that.

A soft taco. A soft fluffy taco. I think when... A soft taco. A soft fluffy taco. I think when you put a... A hot dog is a soft fluffy taco, guys. You put a wiener inside of a tortilla, you've created something new. I think a taco is a tortilla. First of all, a tortilla is involved with a taco.

So a hot dog is not a taco because it's got a bun, okay? A bun is nothing but a fluffy tortilla. That's not true. Flour? Tortillas are a flat, they're flat just like the Earth. There's just a flat disk, that's what the tortilla is. And then, I know that. And then, but a bun is just simply a loaf of bread

that has been split. You know what I'm saying? I think you gotta start with the container. Shaped in a very special way, yeah, I'll give you that. And then I think that the insides of a taco can be anything, but I feel like they have to be loose. It can't be encased. It can't be a wiener.

Once you put a wiener inside of a tortilla, you just got a new creation. It's amazing, but it's not a taco, and as much as I enjoy them, I would never call it a taco. Connor, your coworker's wrong, tell him. You've been duped, and you almost got us. Yeah. Ashley Collard, that's a good last name.

Good gracious. Tasty, depending on what you cook with it. You can have a bitter collard, you can have a nice invitingly greasy collard. It's difficult to make collards really good without ham hock. Yeah. Or bacon.

Ashley, I hope you eloped with a ham hock. Wow. We need a new toilet. I want a new toiletck. Wow. We need a new toilet. I want a new toilet from the store. Husband wants to buy a used toilet. A used toilet. Ham hock wants a used toilet. He says it's stupid to pay 10 times more

for something you poop in. Wow. So pay 10 times less for something other people have pooped in. Right. I think that the point, Ashley's husband, Mr. Collard, is that precisely what has happened with the thing that you're getting,

it's like saying, I don't want a, no, no, don't give me a meal, give me the thing that that guy left over on his tray. Well, it's like, I don't want a, no, no, don't give me a meal. Give me the thing that that guy left over on his tray. Well, it's like, I don't, that's not what it's like. It's like, I'm in the market for some new underwear, some skivvies. I'm gonna go to the thrift store and buy some used skivvies.

Whitey tighties. Tighty whiteys. That's what it's like. But I mean, they've been cleaned. But what if functionally the toilet is, not functionally but cosmetically, the toilet looks totally new? Yeah, I think she's.

You think he's got a point? I definitely think he's got a point. But then it's like you're using. Absolutely. But it's kinda like you're using a public restroom. Well, no. I think the real question is. You can thoroughly wash the porcelain throne.

You can, it can become pristine. I think the real question is, is a toilet that you get at the store really a virgin toilet? Or is there like a guy who tests it? I mean. I like to think that there's a guy who tests it. Listen.

That's a good job. Ashley, this is what you need to come to grips with. You've been going to the big box store, I'm not gonna name any names here. You've been going to the beverage aisle and you've been getting those canned drinks. And then you've been bringing those home and you've been popping the top and you've been getting those canned drinks and then you've been bringing those home and you've been popping the top

and you've been drinking those canned drinks. You've been feeding them to your husband, your kids if you have them, your loved ones. Little collards. What you don't know is that stock boy number four, five or six has peed on all of those canned drinks. Yeah, that happens all the time. It happens all the time.

I used to do it when I worked at a grocery store. I'd whiz all over the top of those things. And then you just, you touch it with your hand, you open it up, and then you wrap your lips around it. Yeah, it's basically like having somebody pee directly into your mouth. It's dried up though. Yeah.

You, the moisture from your mouth and from the beverage coming together, intermingling, we've all done it. We've all drank the urine of a stock boy. So get over this toilet thing. You can clean it thoroughly. Yeah, but you should also. You should also clean them cans.

Yeah, you should wash the top of the cans. Don't ever just take that LaCroix or whatever it might be and just put it to your lips. I will say however that soft drinks like LaCroix come packaged inside. In a box. Well it's the guy at the factory who pees on it before it goes into the box.

No, no, I don't think so, I don't think so. I think we're talking about open cans. People at factories can't get away with that kind of stuff. Factories have standards. The guy who's crapping in the toilet before it gets shipped out, he's got standards. But the people, the stock boys, man, grocery stores have no standards at all.

Have you ever been back there, like sometimes you have to go use the bathroom in the back? And you're like, where's the bathroom? And they're like, back through there, and you're like, I can go back there? You mean me, just a random guy who's in this grocery store right now can push these doors open and go back and? You mean me, just a random guy who's in this grocery store right now can push these doors open and go back

and see the inner workings of the grocery store and then crap in this toilet? Yeah. And I could come out and be like, you know what, I'm not gonna pee in the toilet, I'm gonna pee on the drinks. Or I could come out and be like, I'm gonna pee on my hands and then rub my hands all over the drinks.

There's nobody back there, I've never seen anybody back there. You could take the drinks back there, pee on them, and then continue peeing in the toilet if you had more pee than you knew. Right. You could drink some of the drinks and then pee that drink right on other drinks.

Ashley, let me ask you this. If you have people come over to your house and they have to sit on your toilet and use it, how do you feel about it afterward? I mean. That's a good point, Link. What if you, maybe this. You need a new toilet every time you have friends over?

Maybe you do some investigative work. Maybe you just get as much information about the toilet as possible. I don't know where you're buying this used toilet, I don't know who's selling a used toilet, but I think if you could just be like, could you tell me about the family that own this? Used toilets need homes too.

I think your husband might be onto something, Collard. Last question, Carol Sucker Punch Foley. My husband thinks that turning the AC up means to make it warmer in the house because you are making the temperature rise. While I insist it means making things cooler because you are turning up the power on what is changing the temperature rise. While I insist it means making things cooler because you are turning up the power on what is changing the temperature.

The same disconnect occurs in the winter with the heater. Please help us solve this argument before the weather gets any cooler. This is an excellent, excellent point. Oh man, how many marriages are teetering on the verge of divorce over this alone? Too many, too, too many. How many coworker relationships have almost shattered

because I've gotten angry over this? I mean, I just cannot, it's blown my mind how people, A, here at our office don't understand how a thermostat works. That's a different issue though. It's a different issue. But boy am I heated about it right now. You've had to explain that a number of times.

That you keep it on auto and then you set the temperature that you want. Oh gosh. That's how a thermostat works. And they both know this so they're off to a good start. They're gonna make it. Turn the AC up, Rhett. What would you do?

Can you please turn the AC up several degrees? Well then I was too specific and you know the answer. Well in that case I would know that I needed to, but. Turn the AC up. Okay, first of all, the way to avoid this argument altogether is to say could you make it a little cooler or could you make it a little warmer, right? You don't have to know even what's on at all.

And I mean, I've got the Nest thermostat, which I just set a range, right? And so I don't even know when the heat's coming on and when the cool's coming on, it's just it's all about the range. So that solves a problem too, getting a thermostat where you both agreed on the lower limit of the temperature and the upper limit of the temperature

solves all this problem. I do think you're making a good point here that if you're committed to making a relationship work, there are some arguments that you shouldn't keep having. There is an elegant solution to adopt a middle ground of a way of speaking about things where everybody wins and I think that's it. It's like, can you make it cooler in here?

Or can you make it warmer in here? I'm cold, can you make it warmer? Right, but. I'm cool, can you make it hotter? Yeah, so the way around this is just to bypass that and use language that's clear, however. And it's a great opportunity to show someone you love them in the way that you change your language.

Language is powerful. But, Carol, what I will say, this is where I'm gonna definitively come down on this. And I have to think we agree on this. Turning the AC up means making it colder. Here's why, okay? Absolutely, you are right. Here's why. No, no, no, yeah.

Turning the AC up means making it colder because. Carol is right. If you ever, no, my husband thinks that turning, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, your husband is wrong, you're right. Turning the AC up means making it colder and here's why. Because if you go back to your college dorm room when you had a window unit that did not have a thermostat but it simply had cool, or if you're in a hotel,

one of those old hotels where it's just cool and it has cool high, cool low, if you say turn the AC up in that context, it clearly means to crank it on more so that it will get cooler. The AC will work harder and get cooler. But if you're in a modern home with a thermostat, you don't have to have this argument.

But I will say that if you take the logic of a window unit without any thermostat, which probably came before any kind of AC unit with a thermostat, so you go back to the roots of air conditioning, to turn it up, is definitely mean, if you go back to the roots of air conditioning, to turn it up, is either on or off. If you turn the heat up, degrees go up. If you turn the AC up, degrees go down.

Because the power. The power has increased to the unit that you referenced. And that, but that can be complicated and controversial. So you don't have to get your husband to agree. Because you wouldn't turn the, now if you said turn the thermostat up, that would mean make it hotter. Hotter, definitely.

Turn the thermostat up, but if you turn the AC up. But the way around this is can you make it a couple of degrees cooler, a couple of degrees hotter, or do you just get a thermostat that has a lower limit, upper limit. Nest is not a sponsor. We should look into them being a sponsor because I absolutely love it.

I love the whole thing. You can program it with your frickin' phone. And then it's just like, it lets you know when you're saving energy. I don't even think about it anymore, man. I don't even think about it. I have one too and I'm constantly changing it manually because I just can't not be in control of it.

You're constantly changing it? Yeah, I don't think I got it set right. I hate hearing that noise when the AC comes on and it just feels like. You didn't want it to. Like the green back's draining from my pocket when the AC comes on. What do you keep it at?

I don't know, man, I don't wanna talk about it. I don't wanna get in an argument. Oh, okay, well I wasn't gonna argue with you. Well hopefully we have saved some marriages and some relationships today. I like to believe that we have. We could have ended some. Especially the, I mean if Carol,

if you can't get your husband to agree with you, especially this taco situation, I mean you guys may not need to be married. That may just be the answer for you guys, I don't know. But you know what, we just want you guys to be happy. We want love to flow, so don't let us stand in the way of the most important thing is not being right, but it's being careful.

And by that I mean full of care for those that you care for. We care for you and the fact that you're still listening means a lot to us. It does. And we'll speak at you again next week. Until that time. We care for you, and the fact that you're still listening means a lot to us. It does. And we'll speak at you again next week. Until that time. Enjoy a taco or two.

I'm sure you can find places to watch us. Put a hot dog in a tortilla, but don't call it a taco. And whatever you do, don't call it a taco. Thank you.