Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 124: Our Family Vacation Mishaps | Ear Biscuits Ep. 124

Episode Date: December 11, 2017

Rhett & Link sit down to talk their recent family vacations to Hawaii & Mexico, why they chose not to vacation together this year, and some of the misadventures they found themselves on while traveling with their families on this week's Ear Biscuits. Listen to Ear Biscuits at:  Apple Podcasts: http://applepodcasts.com/earbiscuits Spotify: http://spoti.fi/2oIaAwp Art19: https://art19.com/shows/ear-biscuits SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits Follow This Is Mythical: Facebook: http://facebook.com/ThisIsMythical Instagram: http://instagram.com/ThisIsMythical Twitter: http://twitter.com/ThisIsMythical Other Mythical Channels: Good Mythical Morning: https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2 Good Mythical MORE: https://youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3 Rhett & Link: https://youtube.com/rhettandlink Credits: Hosted By: Rhett & Link Executive Producer: Stevie Wynne Levine Managing Producer: Cody D'Ambrosio Production Manager: Jacob Moncrief Technical Director: Meggie Malloy Editor: Kiko Suura Graphics: Matthew Dwyer Set Design/Construction: Cassie Cobb Content Manager: Becca Canote Logo Design: Carra Sykes To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting A, we're actually doing a podcast. I heard, but I did hear. We did a podcast last week. I did a little more of it than you did.

I heard, I didn't listen, I don't listen. I'm not an ear biscuiteer, I just make the ear biscuit. Well, it comes out of our mouth and goes into our ears. We listen to it like through these headphones while we're doing it. But yeah, but. Don't listen to it later. Once in a lifetime experience so far for me was an ear biscuit happening and I wasn't present for it.

I heard lots of good positive things about your performance. I don't know what you said, what you did, but I heard good things about it, so congratulations on that. I've heard positive feedback good positive things about your performance. I don't know what you said, what you did, but I heard good things about it, so congratulations on that. I've heard positive feedback, I appreciate that. I was just reading a few hours ago that they know, some, a few Mythical Beasts said they know what it would be like to have a podcast with just me

and they would be okay with that. How many minutes did you go? It would be okay. How many minutes did you go? It kinda be okay. How many minutes did you go? It kind of faded off to where I forgot they were there and I was just talking to myself, like I do around the house. Are we talking single digit minutes?

Yeah, it might end in a, you know, between the ad read and then at the very end, which kind of trailed off, I'd say about 30 minutes. No way. No, I don't know, like eight minutes or so. So you know what an eight minute podcast with Chuzzling would be like, which, hey, I don't know. Are you threatened?

That could be what the future's all about. Are you threatened or you know what, I could walk out of this one early. I got things I could do, I got litigation I could try to sidestep. Yeah but you drove me here so. That's true, yeah so you'd me here so. That's true. Yeah so you'd have to figure out a ride home.

I do wanna hear about the update because you really left us hanging. Like you literally ditched us in the middle of. That was great, that was great production. Ear biscuit. Great production was to leave you guys hanging and you had to come back and hear the rest of the story. Lots of unanswered questions,

so I do wanna get into that. We have not taken the time to fully process our vacations that we had separately. And we need to do that as friends and for you, your biscuetteer, you need the update on how our vacations went. We each had an entire week apart from each other over the Thanksgiving week a few weeks back, and you went to Hawaii and I went to Mexico,

and we haven't fully downloaded that, so. I won't do that. I wanna get into all that, and, because the operative question is, who made the right choice? Because last year we both went to Hawaii together and it was, the question was, did we make the right choice together?

And we did, we made a good, well, we can get into that. Yeah, we'll talk about that in a second. But let's see, so where do we leave off with the litigation? I was leaving to go meet. I was leaving to go meet with my neighbor. Your neighbor and even as you were going out, like the details of how you were meeting started to stress me out.

You know, you were meeting at a public place in order to smooth over your relationship so that he would not litigate. No, that wasn't, I mean, my motivation and meaning was to establish a neighborly relationship, which, you know. But he also threatened to sue you. I mean, his lawyer.

The net effect of that, well, he didn't threaten to sue me. They said they would do everything possible. There was no, it was just, it was a little bit of a threatening letter. When a lawyer gets involved, yes, it's threatening. Yeah, lawyers just don't send letters in order to just talk to somebody.

So let me tell you what happened. Like if they're lonely or something. I originally was going to meet my wife there and meet him there, and that was complicating. But I actually made good time getting home, but as I got close to where we were gonna be meeting, which is relatively near my house, I was like, I have like eight minutes to get to my house

and get back to this place. And so I called Jessie and I was like, hey, I'm coming all the way to the house, I'm gonna pick you up and let's just go so we can get there together because it's one less variable. Did you take Shepherd? No.

Okay, and you decided not to take a child. And that wasn't a decision that I made, it was that someone was already watching Shepherd. Your neighbor? Had been watching, one of the ladies who watches our kids from time to time was watching him already and so she just kept watching him. You didn't say like, hey Shepherd,

why don't you stay at home and just start throwing garden refuse into our neighbor's yard while we're meeting with someone. No, that would've been counterproductive. So I picked Jesse up and we get there. This was my first concern, this is where we left off. It's like, when you get there. None of your concerns came to fruition

because when I got there, I was getting out of the car and he and his wife and his kids, who are high school aged, were all getting out of the car. That's my worst fear for you, was that you were gonna have a pre-meeting because I said you don't wanna meet in line. But see, I think the thing that you don't understand is that- You wanna sit down

and get to business. Once a person has made the decision to have a quote unquote friendly meeting with you, because the pretense here is that we're gonna meet at a coffee shop. This is not confrontational. This is a scheduled thing. You weren't meeting at a dojo.

Right and so as soon as I saw him get out of, actually I met his kids first and was like, hello, introduce myself and then Jesse meets the wife and then he gets out of the car and it was all just, it was right from the beginning, it was all smiles. Everybody was like. Which is weird. Well, I don't think, I think that's part of the dynamic.

I think the dynamic is there was a heated exchange that escalated very quickly and now that we've all had time to think about it and there's been a meeting that has been requested, I think everyone has emotionally prepared for this moment. Well, maybe I can understand that. There's not as much drama as you want there to be, is the bottom line. You want there to be drama for the sake of entertainment.

I'm telling you that there was no drama. It was just like, hello. Well, hold on. To was just like, hello. Hold on. To me, this is dramatic. The fact that there was such that the first thing that happened was it was like two old friends meeting. So I give credit to your letter

for having a disarming element. I mean, because all intentions, the last thing you heard from him was that he was on the spectrum of happiness and unhappiness, he was leaning towards the latter. I mean, so to show up and be, hey, we're friends is a little premature. That's the point of the meeting.

But I guess your letter was so disarming. I'm not saying that we're friends. I'm just saying that it is not unusual for two people who are negotiating something that is even heated to once they set a time, think about two world leaders, right? Think about two world leaders whose countries are fighting but they agree to a meeting.

Do you walk into the meeting with guns a-blazin'? No, give me an example of that happening. It doesn't happen when two, they meet and there's pleasantries. The meetings begin with pleasantries and this was no different. Unless this is the second meeting and the first one was guns blazing from the moment that.

But that wasn't a meeting, that was an altercation. There's a difference. Yeah it was. It was an unplanned altercation. This was a planned meeting. This was a summit of sorts. In your analogy, I'm a little surprised because it was like, it was two countries

who were in like a battle, a war, let's say a skirmish. But there's one country, me, who does not feel that this is a skirmish or a battle. One country that feels that this is just a misunderstanding and we will soon get to peace, we will return to peace. So you're telling me that you got in line together? Well not only that, there was a scramble for who was going to pay for all the beverages.

I got my credit card out, he's got his cash out. He actually beat me to it. We were both trying to pay for each other. That's how friendly it was right from the get go. I think you guys are both overcompensating. No. You're missing. Again, I expected all this. I knew that he was gonna wanna pay

and I was gonna wanna pay. I went in knowing that this is how most humans behave. But he really got his cash in there. Because the cash, you know, I don't know, dollars are bigger than credit cards. I don't know what it was. There was also, now, couple of interesting things happened. So you knew at this point that the tree was staying there,

nothing was, you were like, all right, this is over before it even started. I knew that the day that I was sitting there arguing with him that this was gonna be the outcome. I mean, honestly, I did. I just didn't know how I was gonna get there. Did you know you were gonna get a free tea out of it? No, that was an unexpected thing.

That's nice. Couple of things, if you've been following this story, that are interesting to note. I wonder if they'll come down your chimney on Christmas Eve. First thing is that they had no, this was me just being egotistical because they had absolutely no idea who I was. Kids had no idea, wife had no idea, he had no idea.

So the whole thing that he said about you think you're a special person or whatever was just me reading into the fact that I'm somewhat well known on the internet. Who's the bad guy now? So that was just me being into the fact that I'm somewhat well known on the internet. Who's the bad guy now? So that was just me being a jerk, you know, and assuming things. It's like when somebody comes up and says,

excuse me, and I think, oh, well, you want a picture with me, right? And really they just want, like, borrow a pencil or something. This is a plot twist in the whole story. I think what we're all experiencing right now is that he was the good guy all along. Well okay, well let me keep telling the story.

Now the second piece of information is that the person, the barista if you will, it's not exactly a coffee shop, but we'll call her a barista because we ordered tea and coffees, She was a fan. So that was a bit awkward. Oh, because he's paying for you and she's what? Asking for herself? She's like, I love the show, can I get a picture with you?

Which this is completely, he didn't know how to take this, right, because he thought that she wanted a picture with him at first. He was like, what picture, what? And then, you know. Really? Yeah, it was like, you know, that was an awkward situation, but of course I was nice, I took the picture. And then. You're like,

get my neighbor in here, we're good friends. So then, his kids actually stayed in the car. They were there because they had to be taken to tutoring or something like that, so what it was was me and Jessie and then him and his wife sitting across from each other. And the way that they actually sat down at a four person table, they sat across from each other

which then meant that I sat next to him and she sat next, my wife sat next to his wife. So already it was just like men on one side, women. We weren't even, there was no confrontational posturing. You understand what I'm saying? You were shoulder to shoulder with the guy? There was no battle line drawn. I was sitting next to him, actually touched him

several times during the conversation. Like reached out and touched him or grazed him? Like this, like a shoulder touch. Seriously? Totally serious. That's how I got. I can't believe you because I can't picture, I've never seen you.

You've never seen me in peacemaking mode. Like you grabbed his. I didn't grab it, I just touched him gently like this. You rested your hand on his shoulder? Yeah. If I was there, I would've just felt horrible for you. You've never seen me work like this before. Yeah, this is a different mode.

This is like waking up from anesthesia rat or something. Now, but let me, I don't want this to get too long because I want to talk about our vacations. Let me just, basically, what ended up happening was. How long did you talk to him before you even got to fighting? We spent five to seven minutes just catching up and finding out where their kids went to school,

where our kids went to school, and how long they'd been at the house, and that kind of thing. Like you were just meeting neighbors for the first time. I feel threatened in our level of friendship now. It's like, is he gonna replace me? No, that's probably not gonna happen. But very quickly, we did get to the issue at hand.

How was that transition? I started it, I said, listen, I'm glad you guys are willing to get together and talk to us. And I think we basically just got this whole thing, this whole relationship started off on the wrong foot. Is that when you touched your shoulder? No, not at that moment, that's too early.

I waited about 15 minutes in before the touching started. When that happens, tell me. And then I said, first of all, I want to apologize again about the situation with the, not the tree in question, but the tree that started the bush. You know, you call it a bush, call it a tree, what have you. I think he probably considers it a tree.

I'm sorry about the limbs that were cut without asking and then the placement of the refuse in your yard without asking, although it was temporary in my mind the entire time. You led with an apology, which is powerful. He countered with an apology and he's like, you know, I'm sorry about the way I reacted. This is paraphrasing.

I'm sorry about the way I reacted. You caught me at a bad time. I was just sitting down there looking at the refuse in the yard, getting mad about it, and then you walked right down the driveway and it was just like, you know. You stepped right in it. Perfect, just perfect storm,

and I apologize for the things that I said. And you were getting in like a black SUV, which might be misconstrued as a limo. Yeah, it was a. And that's why he's like. It was a pretentious thing. I get it. It was a little pretentious, yeah, that's why it seemed like a special person, I guess. It was just a black SUV.

But then he did go on to inform me that. So you both apologized, great move, by the way. Truthfully, from a legal standpoint, now that there's a tree in his yard that I planted and there's lighting and sprinklers that are going to the tree. It could be, I could have a legal case, I don't know exactly, even though my dad teaches

this subject, property, or did it at one point. It might be eminent domain or something like that, I don't know what it is, but basically, if you're treating a portion of someone else's yard as your yard for a certain amount of time, and no one says anything about it, it could be the case that now that's basically your yard for a certain amount of time and no one says anything about it, it could be the case that now that's basically your yard. And so he's like, I don't want there to be any permitting,

I don't want the boundaries between our yards to be construed if I try to sell the house, you try to sell the house or whatever. So what I would like is a letter from you that says that you are giving me the tree. Giving me the tree, the giving tree. Shel Silverstein. Hold on, are you telling me the tree, giving me the tree, the giving tree, Shel Silverstein. Are you, hold on, are you telling me that the,

okay, and then you said what? I said I would gladly give you the tree. You are going to give him the tree that this whole fight is over? The whole thing that was like this tree is the center of the entire conflict is now a gift to him? Yeah, Link, you don't understand how well this is ended.

This is so poetic. He now owns the tree. It is a gift, it is a peace offering to him, but it's exactly in the same place because it's a freaking tree. And I have gifted him the tree legally. I've also stated- You should say, I'd like to give it to you by chopping it down

and throwing it across the driveway in the next 24 hours. I have also stated in this letter that the lighting and the sprinklers are temporary and can be removed at his discretion and that it does not constitute a construence of the current property boundary. So you've written the letter and already sent it? Yeah.

And you use the word construence? And I use words like that. I don't think I use that word because I'm not sure it's a word. I just made it up on the spot now, but I did use the word constitute. I think I said constitute a departure from the currently legally established boundaries

between our properties. Boundaries, blurred lines. Did you, you know, that's ironic. You know, the song Blurred Lines. I'm familiar with it. Was the subject of a long and aggressive litigation. And that's not what's happening. So yeah, I wrote that letter just a couple of days

after our meeting, I sent it through his lawyer to him. You could have just hung it on his tree. Nope, completely legal. I wanted to be completely legal. And now I have, what has happened here is that everyone's happy. I have gifted, you know I've never given anyone a tree. This is the first time, maybe the last time.

I've given you some trees. You've given me like a whole herd of trees. And you know what it feels like. In Northern California. Yeah, a redwood patch. Yeah, and now the idea that he feels like one one-hundredth as good as I felt when you gave me these trees just warms my heart.

And I think that we're well on our way to having a great relationship. We should bring him in here. Okay, well, you know, I'll talk to him about that. That's a possibility. Send him another letter through his lawyer. It's called a summons. Well, now he's got- Summons him to the podcast.

Now we've got each other's numbers. We've talked about how we're gonna look out for each other's properties when we're out of town. I feel like we've actually, this has gotten into a great place. Wow. And you know, I told you from the beginning, as soon as this happened,

and I knew that it was just misunderstanding, I just couldn't live with the fact that I was in this kind of dispute. It makes me uncomfortable. And I wanted two things to happen. A, I wanted to not have to do anything about that tree other than potentially give it to him, which I didn't even know was an option.

And two, I wanted to be able to have a neighborly relationship and that's where we're at. That's where we're at today. And three, you wanted to make some good, clean podcast entertainment. Yeah, I mean of course this whole thing is just a big made up story just for your guys' entertainment.

No it's not. At what point did you touch his shoulder? When he said, I'm sorry for what I said, I was like, hey man, I get it, I get it. Oh, it was more fingertippy? Yeah, it was like this. Was it grabby? I get it, it wasn't grabby, it was just like,

hey, you don't even have to apologize, I totally get it, we've all been there. But your shoulders, you could have put your arm around him. I was a lot closer to him than I am to you. I mean, we were really like, I may have actually had some incidental contact throughout the entire meeting. Oh wow, like thigh to thigh situation?

Sure there was knee to knee, I'm sure there was. Oh wow, wow. Unintentional. Okay, so what have we learned here? We've learned that lead with an apology, follow up with a shoulder grab, and when in doubt, touch thighs. No, scratch that last part.

That was not anything that I did. And there was no thigh touching. Knee touching. And it was knee to knee, which is different than hand to knee. Right. Very different. Well, I'm really, really happy that it turned out this way.

I in no way was hoping that you'd get punched in the face. That was never gonna happen. That could have happened that day. That could have happened that day if I had escalated, but you know me, I don't escalate. Yeah, you should have let me out of that SUV. I don't escalate. I was about to burst out of it.

I pacify. Like a banshee. Yeah, so. Wow don't escalate. I was about to burst out of it. I pacify. Like a banshee. Yeah, so. Wow. All is good. What a fizzle. You wanted it to continue. Well, I don't know, I mean, I'm gonna.

Let's bring him on here. I bet you I can rile him up again. He's really into wine, and I'm gonna get him some of that for Christmas. So, yeah, I'm just, yeah, I'm just being neighborly, man. Just trying to set an example. Wine in the left hand, a handful of his shoulder in the right.

I'll touch his shoulder when I give him the wine. Last Thanksgiving, I'm talking about a few weeks ago, I'm talking about a year and a few weeks ago. 2016. We went on vacation to Kauai, that's in Hawaii. Had never been to Hawaii. And we took our families and we all went to Hawaii. It was-

Had a great time. It rained quite a bit. Had a great time, it rained a lot. And the whole time we were there, you were very, you were up in arms about the rain. I mean, cause it's like, I mean, that can really define. My wife was and that translated to me. But to your credit, I mean, even while we were there,

you were like, I wonder if, you were like, I don't want to make this mistake again. This time next year, we're gonna be on vacation again. And I appreciate the fact that I didn't have to lift a finger or a thought, because you were like, well this is not, it's not sunny, it's not hot enough, Thanksgiving night we went to like the big luau with like the Hawaiian pig, we're eating all of that stuff and then it's time for the show and then I go to the

bathroom, this is outdoors, and so I went in I go to the bathroom, this is outdoors, and so I went in to go to the bathroom, I come back out and I thought that there was an emergency, people were running every which-a-way. Tsunami. And I realized it was a downpour and by the time I got back to the family, nobody was there and people were handing out ponchos.

It was a cataclysmic downpour and soaked to the bone was our Thanksgiving night. Got a refund. On the show but not on the food which we ate. So then you're like thinking, are the other islands better if we would've gone there? You know, and we kinda knew that Kauai was the rainiest

of all the islands, like one of the rainiest places on Earth. However, I will say that the south side, which they call the dry side of Kauai was the rainiest of all the islands. Like one of the rainiest places on Earth. However, I will say that the south side, which they call the dry side of Kauai, typically does not have a lot of rain in November. But it did last year. It did. And that kind of put a, it kind of made our vacation soggy. You know, we're like zip lining

and doing some stuff with everybody and here comes another downpour and it's frigid. Yeah, it's cold rain. Cold rain. And so in the aftermath of that, Rhett's like, man, we should go to Mexico. You are not gonna get rained on in Puerto Vallarta

or Tulum or what's the other place? Well really the west coast. Cabo. I don't know much about the east coast but definitely the west coast in November. You're not gonna get rained on in Thanksgiving. And I'm like, you're right, I'm gonna do that. And then we start figuring out where we're gonna go.

And we decided that we're gonna have separate vacations. Well, you decided that. Yeah. So I will say that, so before you throw me under the bus. I'm not throwing you under, okay. For how I did the switcheroo at the last minute, which I believe I can explain. But you. The next point, yeah the point was.

I was ready. We're going to Mexico. I was ready for a dual family vacation again. You picked out a resort for all of us in Mexico. We were ready. And then I was like, I think we should just, you know, vacation separately this year. Which, it's fine with me too, I'm fine either way.

Yeah and. I'm a peacemaker, I give trees to people. Yeah, you know, I know your feelings weren't hurt by that but I think we know each other long enough to know that like me and Christy too, we're like sensitive to our space. And we are, of the families, we are much more opinionated and I will own that.

So like, you're judging things like the weather and is this the vacation that you hoped it would be for everybody? We are also assessing lots of things and it's not worth getting into because it's mostly just things that like, you know, I'm a picky eater. I'm picky about a lot of things.

This is true. And in no way should I would hope that you guys would take it personally. I think the big clincher for me was A, since that point we hadn't had any family vacation time and like as a Neal family and that's something that mattered to us at that moment. Plus, I anticipated how much time we were gonna be spending together even over weekends.

That's true. With the tour. So I'm like, I think that I will want to be separate from Rhett and I think that he's gonna wanna be separate from me, even if you wouldn't say it. And you may not have thought that, but I think it, a little, like weekends apart is a healthy thing.

Like if we had to spend Saturday and Sunday every weekend together. I completely agree with that. I was fine with it. And that's what the tour did. So I broached the subject to you and I'm like, and I know that you picked a place in Mexico that we were all gonna did, so I broached the subject to you and I'm like, and I know that you picked a place in Mexico that we were all gonna go, so I'm like, you know what, I don't wanna take the first pick,

we'll pick a second resort. We'll both go to Mexico, and this is where it got a little weird. And I don't know if this is what went into your choice to go to Hawaii, but it was like, we'll both be in Mexico but we'll be in separate resorts. Well but before that, I think what really set this off was the place that I had chosen,

when I looked at the resort, when I was making the decision over the summer, I was like, oh this is, okay this isn't bad, this is a pretty affordable place. Yeah. But then once we got around to actually booking for Thanksgiving, the price had literally tripled. The price per night had tripled.

And we get two rooms per family. Right. And so it would've hurt. It would've hurt. It was just suddenly the place that I wanted to go, I could not justify. Compared to how much we paid for Hawaii. Yeah, I could not justify spending that much money.

And so at that point, we started looking at other options. In Mexico. And then, but those options were still pretty expensive. So my whole thing was not only did I want sun, but I was like, but Mexico's a shorter flight, it's gonna be overall less expensive. And then we started looking at these different places and you ended up deciding, well, both of the places

we were looking at were all-inclusive. And Jessie and I have had not so great experiences with all-inclusive. I'm less picky than she is and so I'm like, okay, maybe the food gets old after a little bit, but I'm fine picky than she is and so I'm like, okay maybe the food gets old after a little bit but I'm fine with that. But I service may not be as good and we had that same experience.

But because I make the decisions about this kind of thing, usually just because I'm really interested in doing that and like deciding on the places, I thought it's gonna come back on me if we go down to this all inclusive place and she doesn't like it. So I was like, well, let me look into Hawaii and let me see if there's a place in Hawaii

that's supposed to not rain. And that's where I landed on the left side, the left side, the west side of the Big Island, which is the driest part of all Hawaii. It's only supposed to rain like two days in November on average. And then I found that the price was essentially the same as if we were gonna go to Mexico.

So I was like, let's go back to Hawaii since we're going by ourselves anyway, let's do that. That's how we ended up going to separate places. And I think, you know, we've talked a little bit about it and I think the main thing that I didn't have access to was a active volcano. That's true. So I wanna hear,

because I know that you had the opportunity to go to an active volcano and I wanna hear about that. I think the thing, I had a great time in Mexico. We did some Puerto Vallarta, we did a zip lining day with the kids. Christy does not dig on zip lining. Did she go zip lining? She did not go.

Her and Lando stayed behind because Lando was too small, they would not let him do it. So I took Lily and Lincoln and they loved it and we had a great time at this one place. Now, I've actually done a lot of zip lining because we did zip lining in Hawaii and except for the rain, that was amazing. And that was with like, we did kayaking, hiking,

zip lining. All in one day. All in one trip. This was just a zip lining thing. I'll tell you, the most amazing ziplining I've ever done was in Northern California in the canopy of the Redwood Forest. They had built these.

When did you do that? That was three, that was two summers ago when we went to Santa Cruz as a family. So there's a place outside of Santa Cruz where you can zipline in the treetops and it looks like the Ewok Village. Looks like indoor Ewok town, I think is what it's called. So this ziplining was not as great as that.

That is the best ziplining, you can't top it. But we still had a great time. We did another day where it was like some snorkeling and we took a boat trip and we had a lot of fun but I looked everywhere for an active volcano and I did not find one. And then I had a couple of very negative experiences at this resort.

Really? Yeah and. How was the food though? I'm gonna tell you about it now because what I wanna, I think your experience with the volcano, there might have been some, I don't know, I really wanna hear how it went. So I'd like to get this negativity out of the way

very quickly because I'm not gonna leave like a trip advisor, this is my version of a trip advisor report. You don't lead the reviews, you just, you take but you don't give. I really needed to, but I just, I can't justify taking the time to write a review. I take but I don't give. The food was great.

It really, it was surprisingly great. Like you can get food by the pool, which was really good. And that's a great experience when you're like by the pool and you can order food and drinks and you're just hanging out but the food is not normally fabulous. And it was surprisingly fabulous. And then the restaurant. Multiple different kinds of restaurants.

Yeah, the restaurants are really good too. So, and that's why we chose this place because it was reviewed very highly, but the thing they did not say was that over the first three days, they are going to try everything in their power to get you to go to a timeshare presentation, seminar meeting.

And I knew, having never done it, I knew, and we talked to some other families there that had done it before at other places, and they'll say it's 30 minutes, and then they'll say, we'll give you all these discounts for zip lining and all this different stuff, 40% off. All you gotta do is eat breakfast with one of our representatives,

and then they'll take you on a 30 minute tour of the place that they want you to buy a condo in like a timeshare capacity. And the fact is, it ends up lasting a couple of hours. How do they, but you didn't go. I did not go, but by the end of it, because I talked to some other people there at the resort, by the end of it, you've got fathers and mothers

almost ripping their hair out to try to get out of this situation without having to be pressured into buying something. And it makes me more angry than, it makes, well, it's not, I can think of things that would make me more angry. But it makes me livid. We'd go to breakfast.

How did they come up to you, just out of the blue? When we check in, they're like, and if you want 40%, well, at the airport. Even before I left the airport, a representative came up and tried to trick me into saying that they were the ones who were gonna take me to the hotel, and then for 20 minutes, I ended up talking to the guy.

Even though I knew it could happen and I was trying to bypass it, I the hotel, and then for 20 minutes, I end up talking to the guy. Even though I knew it could happen and I was trying to bypass it, I still talked to the guy for 20 minutes about all the stuff that I could do, the zip line and all that stuff, and then, oh, and by the way, I can give you a discount. All you gotta do is meet me in the morning at your hotel for a presentation.

And I'm like, no. And he's like, well, I'll give you this discount. I was like, no, I want to pay full price. I do not, no matter what you, this is what I said, no matter what you tell me, I am going to say no right now. That's literally what, and he said, and then he said, you know, I'm actually trying to go back to college.

Yeah, that's in the manual. And I need you to. He just flipped to the next page of his script when you said that. Oh, I've got a no for. His eyes started to water a little bit. Of course. And then my face turned red. His eyes started to water a little bit. Of course. And then my face turned red

and my eyes started to water a little bit and Lando's like grabbing at my arm and like, Daddy can we go? And I'm like, I am only going to say no to you. This is why, and listen. And then I get to the freaking reception and they do the same thing. This is why I hate multi-level marketing.

I hate it. For the same reason because it sails under false pretense. It's this I'm trying to be your friend or I, it's, multi-level marketing's probably even worse because it takes advantage of a friendship then turns it into a transactional relationship which is just a horrible thing to do, I think. It's distasteful. And I know a lot of people

are in difficult positions and they feel like they have to do. It's distasteful. And I know a lot of people are in difficult positions and they feel like they have to do it but I just feel like there's a better way. I feel like there's a better way. But it's the same thing, it's a similar dynamic when it's just like I've already paid. I've paid for this vacation, I'm here to enjoy it. I'm not here to be marketed to.

It was, yeah, and it was a resort that then next door was like a sister resort with more of the restaurants that we had access to. And when we walk, you have to walk on the beach to go around to get to it. And when I go on the beach for the first time, a guy comes up on the beach and starts, it strikes up conversation, hello, welcome to the resort.

Can I interest you and I'm like no. I do not want to meet you. And then after that, I think they finally caught wind of my scent and it was stinky to them. They stayed away. But I would go to breakfast. They wrote you off. They were setting appointments for the rest of the week stayed away. But I would go to breakfast. They wrote you off. They were setting appointments

for the rest of the week with people and when I would go to breakfast with my family, they would, at every other table, it would be a family and a representative with a name tag on, like whining and dining them for the same breakfast I had. And I just felt so sorry for those people. They didn't even know they should be angry.

I didn't get it. Like there was an old couple that enjoyed the attention of some super bubbly sales person. And maybe there are people who don't mind it and do appreciate the attention and actually are interested in it. I could have murdered somebody. But it's obviously a business that works

because it exists. And I can't believe that the Trip Advisor reviews of this place. Didn't mention that. Via La Estancia. Screw you guys. And your marketing. You almost ruined my freaking vacation.

And you know what? You don't feel strongly about it. After they laid off, it was great. It was great. The food was great, the people that we interacted with out there were great. But boy, I'm getting a little hot under the collar. Cheer me up with some volcano talk.

Well this is actually, well let me, I'll commiserate a little bit with you. I definitely was not, nobody tried to sell me on a timeshare. But the conclusion I've come to after going to Hawaii twice is that, and again, I know I live in Los Angeles, I have access to like the best foods, you know, some of the best food in the world really.

I mean LA just has so many options. I've become a food snob, is what I've become. And you remember how Hawaii was. It was like we went to these nice restaurants and they were like Hawaiian restaurants, which meant like fresh seafood and some, the third or fourth night of that gets a little old. And the Big Island is a lot like Kauai in that there's not,

I mean, the whole west side of the island is just like raw volcanic rock. I mean, there's just some places that it's just like black landscape for as far as the eye can see. Most of it has already has gotten some, you know, it's like, I don't know how many years ago this lava flow was, but less than 100.

And it's like black, but then there's some grasses growing in it but it's just like the newest earth I've ever been on. Super barren and just this, the West Coast is just this long slope with nothing on it at all and then there's these resorts along the coast. And so you go eat at another resort and then there'll be a little shopping area

that'll have some restaurants. But I could've used more variety in the food. That was the one thing that I've kind of noted twice now about Hawaii. I think if you go to Oahu or Maui, there's more food options if you're into that kind of thing. But we did make the decision because of the lack of rain, which incidentally did not rain once at the resort.

But we did travel to the east side of the island where it's very rainy and it did. But of course, the other big thing that we were excited about was seeing an active volcano. And so I was super, super excited about this. I had a certain day set out, planned to do this. I think we were gonna do it on Wednesday, which is right in the middle of the vacation,

but on Tuesday, while snorkeling in the little cove area next to the resort, which incidentally was amazing, we saw like multiple sea turtles. Wow. Like you'd go out and there'd be like five sea turtles amongst all this other fish and stuff too. Like, could you reach out and touch their shoulder like a neighbor?

You were not supposed to get within 10 feet of them. So let's just say, hypothetically, I may have gotten closer than 10 feet and I may have just for a moment pet the back of one of them. But that's just hypothetical, I didn't actually do that. I stayed 10 feet away like they say you should. But it was absolutely phenomenal.

And but then, Locke and Shepherd and I were pretty far out. And Turtle's lawyer's gonna send you a letter. And then Locke says, dad, I gotta cuddle my leg. You think I should go back in? And I was like, yeah, you probably should. But I wasn't trying to instill panic. I was just like, yeah, just because you're cut. He was thinking because sharks,

and I didn't even realize that. That's immediately what I just thought. Blood in the water, man. And so he's like, turns out what happened is he started freaking out and then he's swimming back in and his mask comes off and then now he can't see into the water and so he just holds his mask and he's swimming like crazy and he swims right into a rock

and he cuts his knee. I wouldn't even call it a cut. It was like taking a chunk, like a divot out of his knee. I didn't know about this, I continued to snorkel with Shepherd, we saw some more turtles, we came back in and then I'm like where's Locke and I see the EMT, like the beach doctor, has got him sitting down over there

and he's like cleaning this wound. And I go over there and I'm like what happened? Locke tells me the story that I just told you. And then he's like, Locke's like, I was like do you think he needs stitches? Because I was thinking like oh man, we gotta go to like a hospital, this is such a vacation downer.

And the guy's like oh no, no no, I cleaned it up and just put this wrap on it. You know what'll fix it? What? A timeshare. Yeah. Just spend a couple minutes with the representative inside and that thing will heal right up. Well, but what this did is first of all,

A, this guy should have told us to get stitches because it still hasn't completely healed. In fact, since then, I've been treating this wound and there was like, because it took a chunk of the flesh out but then left this cover of flesh on top of this hole. Oh, God. It was a full two weeks later that Locke calls me when we're on tour and he's like,

"'Dad, that piece of skin that was kinda sitting "'on top of my wound, I cut it with scissors. "'Is that cool?' sitting on top of my wound, I cut it with scissors, is that cool? And I'm like, ah. You should really ask before you do something. Yeah, and I'm like, well, how's it feel? He was like, oh, it's better.

So I was like, okay, whatever. But, so it is kinda healing up now, but we should have definitely gotten stitches. But what this, the net effect of this is that he couldn't really bend his knee that great, he couldn't get in the water the rest of the time. Oh no.

In the very next day we had planned to go to the volcanoes and he didn't need to be bending his knee that much so we pushed the volcano trip to the very last day which had a high wind forecast. So it takes like two hours to drive from the resort to Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, that's what they call it. And there is basically an active volcano that looks more like a giant crater.

It's like a huge crater that you're standing on the outside of. Does it, I mean, it's a cone, like it goes up, right? No cone. Oh, it's just, it feels flat? I think it's like collapsed or something. Okay. But basically you go up to this

and it feels like this giant crater that's completely flat and then in the middle of the giant crater, like somebody literally came and took a cookie cutter and just took some earth out. Or kind of like Locke's knee, huh? And then in the, well it wasn't that clean, in the middle of that giant crater, there's another giant cookie cutter circle

and that's filled with lava. Now, you cannot see the lava, well you can see the glow of the lava at night, but the lava level fluctuates. And sometimes it'll be 100 feet from the surface and sometimes it'll be like 2,000 feet below or whatever. It just goes up and down. But at this point it was well below

so you could see it at night. So I had planned this whole thing out. And this is not, is that you getting to it or is that people describing it to you? Well you can stand on the edge of the exterior crater but you cannot go out into the other crater, it's against the law because there's some noxious fumes that are coming out of there and it can incapacitate you.

And so for a while now, you haven't been able to get next to the volcano unless you're like a trained scientist with the proper equipment. Okay. But my whole plan was we're gonna go up there. There's a lot of really cool stuff to see in the park like lava tubes and steam vents. And you take this road all the way down to the beach and you see and you take this road

all the way down to the beach and you see like places where this lava flow happened this year and right next to this forest that, all these cool features. But when I asked the person at the, well first of all, couple of shout outs I'm gonna give that tie into this story. First thing, we get to the entrance, the gate, and there's a girl working there in a, like a, you know, National Park Ranger outfit, and I like hand her my 25 bucks

to get into the park, and she's like, Rhett? I'm like, yes. She's like, I listen to Ear Biscuits. The first thing she said, she didn't say, I love GMM, she didn't say I like Buddy System, she said, I listen to Ear Biscuits and I wish I could remember her name. I was kinda shocked when she told me

and of course I was in a line of cars so I didn't have time to process it. But shout out to the girl who let me in the gate of the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and thanks for being an Ear Biscuit-eer. But the Ear Biscuits. Did she give you your 25 back? No she didn't, no discounts, I didn't expect it.

Well it's the government. They gotta do it right. But the Ear Biscuits shout outs are going to continue. So I go to the main area, the visitor center. Because that's usually gonna happen. Right, yeah, yeah. Go to the visitor center and I wait in this line and these people.

No, I mean, nobody's listening right now. That's right. It's just me and you. Yeah, and that girl from the park. Yeah. It's a shame we don't know her name because she's the only one listening. No, there's at least two.

So then I go to, I get in line because I wanted to talk to them about the possibility of seeing the lava flow. And I met a guy at the hotel who basically said, oh no, you can't see the lava flow with small kids. It's like an eight mile hike and stuff like that. It changes from time to time, but right now, it's like a huge hike.

You're not gonna actually be able to see live lava. So forget that. But you were like maybe sweet talk someone. I had resigned myself to this. Okay. I wait in the line, I hear the woman basically, this park ranger confirmed that and she's like, now in order to see the lava flow,

it's going to be an eight to 12 mile round trip hike. What? And I'm like, well dang, I wasn't even planning on being here all day. So I heard her say that to somebody else, so I was just like, okay, guys, we're not gonna be able to see the lava. We're gonna stay here.

We're gonna see all this cool stuff in the park. And then at night we're gonna stay and we're gonna like see the lava from a distance. It'll be cool. But we go to the first, the first like cool stop, which is the steam vents, which you kind of get next to the crater. And then there's like these places right there

on the side of the road and there's just steam coming up. And I'm standing there, the wind is incredible. The wind is like blowing like crazy, like blowing you over almost. And then this park ranger kind of walks up behind us and he's like, Rhett? What? And I'm like, hey man. he's like, he comes up,

he says, I listen to Ear Biscuits. Ear Biscuits. I'm not kidding. I'm not making this up. Another park ranger who listens to Ear Biscuits. They're just eating up Ear Biscuits left and right at Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, man. That's what they do there. They must be on the move and they like to listen to things.

And I said, did the girl at the front gate said that? You don't wanna, but you can't watch GMM because you might walk into a steam vent. You gotta be listening to things. Or a volcano. You just gotta listen and be vigilant. I do remember this guy's name because I talked to him for a while.

His name was Pono and shout out to Pono because Pono, you changed my life, man. I'm about to tell you how you changed my life. Because. How did Pono change your life? Because he said. Time share? Please tell me it's a time share.

He sold me a time share. Yes, exactly, how'd you know that's where I was gonna go? Screw you, Pono! So Pono said. Lay off! No, I said, after I talked to him a while about the fact that he listens to Ear Biscuits. And did the other person introduce him to?

No, I said the girl at the front gate listens to Ear Biscuits too and he didn't say like, yeah, she's the one who told me. I think it was just like, the look on his face was like, we all listen to Ear Biscuits. I mean, he didn't explain himself. Well dang. So, you know, there's a big staff there.

So then I'm like, he's like, so you guys just get here? I was like, yeah, we literally just came through the gate. This is our first stop. We're going to be here all day. I really wanted to see the lava flow, but yeah, I heard it's a real long hike. He says, oh, no, no, no. You can see the lava flow. Oh.

And then he's like, he said, they tend to discourage that at the visitor center because it is, you know, it's not actually inside the park and it's a little bit of a trek to get there, but you can definitely see it. He says what you gotta do is you gotta go out of the park, you gotta drive for an hour. Ooh. And you drive all the way out of the park

and then down to this little town, back down to the coast, and then you drive along the coast until the road stops because lava has taken over the road. What? And there will be several, no, not several, dozens of companies who will sell you a, rent you a bike and then you guys can bike four miles on this road and then you can walk to the lava.

He was like, it'll take you half an hour. Like once you get, you take your hour to get down there, rent the bikes, you can get a tandem bike to put your youngest son on there, and then you can just ride your bikes right up to this place and then you'll hike on the lava for between half an hour and an hour and you'll find some people looking at lava.

It'll be great. You should be there approximately four o'clock. It'll be perfect. Well, he kind of made it sound like an Iron Man competition, but you said yes. I said yes enthusiastically. Absolutely. We stuck around the park for a little bit more. That's some sweet insider info.

Yeah, to see a couple of the other things. He's like, you definitely should see the lava tube and you should go down the, so we did a couple of those things and then we get in the car, we drive down there, we get to the place where you get the bikes. We get the bikes. First of all, they actually have a shuttle that can take you like two miles. But I was like,

no, we're at McLaughlin's. We're gonna do this. Let's ride the frickin' bikes. It's just flat. I put Shepard on the back of this tandem bike. It's one of those things where it's not a two-man bike. It's a normal bike that then has this other like just wheel and handlebars kind of seat handlebars just wheel and handlebars,

kind of seat handlebars and wheel and pedals. Behind it. Half bike that kind of like is behind it, which made it kind of like I was a donkey pulling a load. Were you, so if you said lava came over the road and that's where you parked and got the bike, were you riding a bike on lava? Yeah.

What, really? They basically have- Like a bike path? It's a road. It is a road. But as far as the eye can see, it's just raw black volcanic rock. That's all it is.

Raw black volcanic rock. Nothing growing, too fresh for that. Nothing growing. And how hot was it when you were getting the bike? Was there any heat? No, it's been, I mean, the portions. They built a whole bike area. Well, yeah, but that's right where the road ends

because that's like a lava flow from years and years ago, right? So basically what we do is we take our bikes, it actually wasn't that easy but it took half an hour to get to the four mile mark, going pretty fast. And they basically have created this gravel road on top of the volcanic rock so they probably got some bulldozers out there and just crushed it down.

And then we get to this place where everybody was getting off their bikes and just starting to just walk. And they're like, just walk towards the steam. Walk towards the steam. So the road ended, you could not have ridden the bike. No, I could have, but they were like, sometimes people get off at this mile marker,

sometimes people get off at this mile marker and you should just go to the third one, I think, and that's where most people are getting to the lava flow faster today. They tell you that at the bike thing. Okay. So I guess I only went three miles. So then we just start walking

and it's just walking over this just black rock that almost crumbles, some of it like crumbles under your foot and then some of it's really, really hard and it just looks like a bunch of rock that's kind of just and then just hardened up because that's exactly what happened. Now, fart, fart, fart, harden, harden, harden.

A lot of this lava is like flowing kind of underneath the ground but then kind of coming up to the surface in a couple of places and then historically it's just going into the ocean, you know, basically creating the island. And so that's when you can see those like dramatic pictures of like lava flowing into the ocean and the steam

and that kind of thing. Like you have to take like either a helicopter or like a boat to see that. And that wasn't happening the day that I was there. They were like, but it's a surface flow, you'll be able to see lava. We hiked for what felt like, it had to be an hour. Oh.

Shepherd fell one time. I mean, my family, I'm surprised we survived because my wife and I got in so many arguments because I wanted to get to the freaking lava flow before the sun went down so I could see it in daylight and it's sundown. And she's like just stopping and taking pictures, like literally, like she walks like four steps

and then takes another picture. And I'm like, it's just the same thing. Over and over again, you've got the picture. You're like saying that. So we're mad at each other. She's way, way behind me. She's just like, go on then. Just go on.

And I'm like, we'll get lost. We can't, there's no lost. There's no path. There's no path. There's no way to, there's no points of reference. You'll die out here. Are there other people that are hearing this argument? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're coming up, they're like, Rhett?

No. I listened to your arguments. No one would have come up to our family in the state that we were in, about half a mile into this thing. So then, and then. An hour of hiking, arguing about pictures. And then Shepard is like, all of a sudden Shepard falls,

and then I go over to him, he's bleeding in like 17 places. Because it's this volcanic rock, and he's bleeding from his knee, he's bleeding from his elbows, he's bleeding from his hand, and he's not crying, he's just, he's skinned himself up, and he's just like, well, what are you gonna do? And they had given me this first aid kit, the bike people, because I guess they knew

this was gonna happen. And so I started putting Band-Aids on him and stuff. They gave you a wad of Band-Aids? And then, they gave me a first aid kit in my little pack. And so then, we keep walking, I keep stopping and letting Jessie take pictures. Eventually we see this like group of people gather. When you get off your bike, make sure you,

and you fall, make sure you use the tourniquet. Here's the tourniquet and here's the ID. It wasn't that serious, but it could have been very serious. We get up to this group of people and they're all looking down. I'm like, those people look like they're looking at lava. You could see it on their posture. And as we began to walk towards them,

as they came into view, I started noticing there was this immense heat emitting from the rock that we were on. And then we got a little bit closer and I touched the rock that I'm walking on and it was hot, like a hot pan, like couldn't keep my hand on it. Oh, like a grill?

Yeah. And then I start noticing in the cracks and the earth beneath me, it was glowing like the pits of hell. Like you see like- In the crack? How big of a crack? Just like, just small little cracks, like little crack like that and you look down into it and you see just like red hot glow.

What? And then another, you know, dozen yards or so And you look down into it and you see just like red hot glow, what? And then another dozen yards or so and we arrive at the place and it's just this, there it is. Like there was this, I think I put this, I think I Instagram storied this, I know that's not relevant now because the Instagram story's gone. But basically, you've seen videos like this before,

but it was essentially just these big globs of lava kind of really, really, really moving very, very slowly. Like people were getting up like two feet from it and taking a picture and it would be moving like this. It wasn't like about to overtake anybody. It's the kind of thing that you could easily get out of the way of it if you're not a tree or a house. Were you tempted to touch it?

No, but I was tempted to throw things at it, and so was Shepherd, and Shepherd was like, can I throw a rock at it, can I throw a rock at it? And what'd you say? And then somebody else threw a rock at it, and it was amazing what happened because they threw a rock at the molten rock, and it just bounced off the molten rock

because it's so dense. It didn't just go into it like, you know, it just bounced off of it because it's still rock. But if you would have placed the rock, like if the rock settled on the red hot lava, would it have gone down into it like the ring in Mordor? I don't think so.

I honestly don't think so. I honestly think that if you ran fast enough, your foot would catch on fire, but your foot would not sink into it because the density of this rock is so much more than you. You know what I'm saying? You float on top of lava because the rock is so dense. Did you think about peeing on it?

I would have if there was not a large gathering of people. So you not only thought about it, you knew you would have done it. Oh yeah, I definitely would have done it. But what we did do is we went to one of those molten hot cracks and we poured water into it. If you peed on it, the heat from the lava would travel up the stream and burn your wiener.

That's not true, that's not how science works. I will say one thing though, if I had done that. It would make it hot a little bit. Peeing on the lava would be like some violation of some sacred Hawaiian understandings of lava. Well that's a bigger point. So I think that would be a very, very, it would be like peeing on the Hawaiian people

and their traditions. So I did not want to, even though I thought about it, I actually did not consider it. But what I ended up doing was. I was gonna say I think you can pee on things in a loving way but I'm not not consider it. But what I ended up doing was- I was gonna say, I think you can pee on things in a loving way, but I'm not gonna say that. We're not gonna explore that. But we took some rad pictures.

And we went to another one, it got dark, and it was just like the only thing that was glowing was the lava. Were you afraid? I mean, there's a pattern here of your boys injuring themselves. Everyone. Were you afraid that they were gonna fall in this lava?

Well. Jesse's taking pictures. A lot of people saw the pictures that I posted and Jesse posted and there was lots of comments like, did you guys have a guide? Because this is really dangerous. And I was like, hmm, didn't think about that. You had Band-Aids.

I honestly think that, especially once it got dark, even before it got dark, it's very, very easy to see where the lava is. And again, it's molten rock. It's not like an eggshell that's hardened on top and then if you step on the wrong place, you're gonna go through the ice all of a sudden and burn yourself. I know ice is a bad analogy, but you know what I'm saying?

It's not like an egg with this hot yolk underneath it. That's not what's happening at all. So I don't know anything about what I'm saying right now. I'm just using intuition, but I don't think that it's super, super dangerous because I don't think they would let dozens of just random tourists go out there and just start walking around with their kids. No one seemed alarmed when we were all taking pictures

really close to it. Well, the park person didn't wanna tell you about it. But the person who was selling you a bike ride did. Yeah. So what do they have to gain? But then we had to go back and this is when we had, yeah, this is when the family. Yeah, you can't stay in hell forever.

The family almost fell completely apart on the way back to the bikes because now we're hiking in the dark. And so what I said from the beginning is I said, okay guys, here's the plan. Daddy is gonna take the lead. Daddy's gonna go first, followed by Locke, then Shepherd, then Mom.

And we're all gonna be in a single file line and I'm going to be finding the best possible path over this rock because it's crazy and we can't see. Locke and- It's in the dark, I mean. Locke and Jessie had headlamps because they gave us two headlamps. Oh, that's good. Shepard had this little light that he bought

at the gift shop and then I had my phone. Oh, what? That's how we're lighting our way. They gave you two headlamps and there were four of you? Yeah, they did not fully equip us. But I look back and Locke. They had already gotten your money, man. Locke and Jessie are holding the headlamps in their hands.

And I'm like, guys, put them on. And they're like, we don't wanna put them on. And then it began to dawn on me just how individualistic my entire family is and how everyone wants to do things their own way and there's no way they're gonna be in a single file line. I can't tell you how many times I look back and my little single file line has completely disintegrated. They're all over the place.

Everybody's choosing their own path and everyone's arguing and then Jessie's like, you're going too fast. And I'm like, I'm literally going so slow you cannot believe how slow I'm going. And so I'm going so slow that now Shepard and Locke are passing me and I'm like, I'm literally going so slow, you cannot believe how slow I'm going. And so I'm going so slow that now Shepard and Locke are passing me, I'm like, you guys are missing the freaking point. Oh, you know what would have made it better?

If I had brought my family there. Oh God. You see, I mean, I'm just saying, I mean, I'm glad to hear this part of the story because I'd really love to see that lava but we would not have contributed positively to that experience. It would have been, there would have been

a very similar dynamic. And it doesn't sound like something I needed to be there for. But then we finally eventually made it back. There was a couple of families who, in fact, it was, I'm sitting there, I'm having one of my daddy talks, and I'm like, guys, you have got to listen to me.

I am picking the good path. And there's another family coming up, and the dad, so he's in front, and he's like, there are no good paths. He like called me out in front of my family. And so then the rest of the dad, so he's in front and he's like, there are no good paths. He like called me out in front of my family. And so then the rest of the time I'm like, stay with me and Locke's like, there are no good paths. He's just quoting this random dad.

And the guy just totally threw me under the bus. Vote of confidence. We eventually make it back to the bikes. We make it back to- He was miserable too, wasn't he? He seemed happy, actually. His family seemed like they were following him. They were all, everyone seemed happy and compliant.

No one was going slow. No one was falling. He seemed like he had his family completely under control. So unlike me. Who's the problem? And so we make it back to where we dropped the bikes off and there is a thing, a little, a place to get coffee. Get some coffee at this place,

and the girl selling coffee says, "'I listen to Ear Biscuits.'" No, she didn't say that, but she did say, "'My sister is a big fan.'" I was like, of Ear Biscuits? And she was, and no, I didn't say that. She was a GMM fan. And then there was a place called the Hot Dog,

the Hot Dog Lady? They called her the Hot Dog Lady. And this lady had- Should have been lava dogs or something. This lady had this food cart down there that had like 17 different types of hot dogs. That made it all better? Boar and elk and venison and all kinds of things.

It was like GMM basically. It was like our meat man somehow has made his way down there and he's selling his weird meats. They cook it over lava? No, it's not that cool, but I had a hot dog and it tasted so good because I'd been arguing with my family. And then we got back into the car and had a debrief

and everyone apologized and we were a family once again. The family that hikes together fights together. Yeah. Is really what happens. That's a good t-shirt. Yeah, that will work. The family that fights together, hikes, nope. The other way I said it.

But shout out to Pono for giving me an experience of a lifetime and almost tearing my family apart. The last part's not your fault. I mean, it literally was one of the coolest experiences of my life, seeing the Earth being formed. You can't even appreciate it. I guess I'll do it next year. You should, I'm gonna go to Mexico.

Can you? But can you plan it for me? Sure, yeah. All right. That can be arranged. No timeshares. All right, yeah, I'll need to look at those pictures. You still got them? I think I deleted most of them. Okay, I'll have to look at those pictures. You still got them? I think I deleted most of them.

Okay, I'll have to imagine that. That was a shame. It was a vivid thing. All right guys, we're gearing up for another vacation. It's called the holidays. Yeah. But it's going home to the fam. That's happened, I mean, well, that's not immediate,

but that's happened at the end of the year, so. Gearing up for that. Totally different experience than the resort life. But I'm looking forward to a reunion with the loved ones. And thanks for hanging with us and for taking the hike to the hotness, which is another piping hot ear biscuit in your ear hole. Don't burn your ears. Talk at you next week. is another piping hot ear biscuit in your ear hole.

Don't burn your ears. Talk at you next week.