Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 126: Christmas in North Carolina | Ear Biscuits Ep. 126

Episode Date: January 15, 2018

Link encounters an amazing pickup truck, Rhett's relative solitude and Christmas vacations in North Carolina.   Listen to Ear Biscuits at:  Apple Podcasts: applepodcasts.com/earbiscuits Spotify: spoti.fi/2oIaAwp Art19: art19.com/shows/ear-biscuits SoundCloud: @earbiscuits Follow This Is Mythical: Facebook: facebook.com/ThisIsMythical Instagram: instagram.com/ThisIsMythical Twitter: twitter.com/ThisIsMythical Other Mythical Channels: Good Mythical Morning: www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2 Good Mythical MORE: youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3 Rhett & Link: youtube.com/rhettandlink Credits: Hosted By: Rhett & Link Executive Producer: Stevie Wynne Levine Managing Producer: Jacob Moncrief Technical Director & Editor: Kiko Suura Graphics: Matthew Dwyer Set Design/Construction: Cassie Cobb Content Manager: Becca Canote Logo Design: Carra Sykes To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to the inaugural 2018 Ear Biscuit, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're going to be talking to one another about our break. We gotta catch up, right? It's one of those times. Catch up, you know, because we.

Catch up, set it up, and then knock it down. We haven't spoken a whole lot. We've already done quite a bit of work. We haven't spoken. Just over the past few days. We haven't spoken that much about what we did because we don't spend time together over the holidays as a policy.

Yeah, we, of course we both go home to North Carolina in order to see our family and we each have the things that we do which you know will be part of us, we'll clue you in on that as we give each other updates. But one of the things we don't do is get together or speak to each other or like if we happen to run into each other, that's gonna be just happenstance. Yeah.

There's certainly no work happening. Which happened. We're very strict about that. Which did happen, randomly, which we will talk about. Yeah, so, well the first thing is, we book our flights to go home independently, and then we find out weeks before we go home that we're on the same flight.

Well, that's a little bit of an oversimplification. Isn't that what happened? No, well our books. We said we wanted to go home the same day. Our flights were booked for us. And then the flights were booked. And the person who booked the flights was like, well, I'm gonna to go home the same day. Our flights were booked for us. And then the flights were booked. And the person who booked the flights was like, well, I'm gonna put them on the same flight.

We independently chose the same day to go home and we chose a different day to come back. Incidentally, the same flight that Guava Juice was on. Yeah, we saw the GJ. We call him GJ. GJ. Can you think of any? In the terminal? That's a shortening of a name no one ever says, like GJ. GJ. Think of in the terminal.

That's a shortening of a name no one ever says, like GJ. Because it sounds like you're calling somebody DJ but you have a speech impediment. GJ. But we did see GJ, got some pictures with him. No we didn't. People came up and got pictures with him. And we watched.

It was awkward for us. We watched that. We didn't talk about it. I did get a picture with a very, was that a very tall basketball player? Was that that trip or was that a different trip? No, that was like one of the last stops on the tour of Mythicality.

Oh, I was just trying to give myself some sort of validation, like somebody came up to us and wanted a picture with us. Well, somebody also wanted a picture with me. Nobody wanted a picture with us. Nobody wanted, well. They wanted a picture with GJ and that's it. When you're in a group with so many kids,

it's like, oh that must be like a school group. A school. Like, why would I want pictures with those chaperones when I can get a picture with guava juice? Right. I think is what everyone in the terminal was thinking. So. And then we got on the flight.

Oh you wanna talk about the flight? And we didn't talk to each other because once you cross, once you went into the sky, that's when it began. We're on our separate holiday. That's when vacation begins. I wouldn't call it vacation. I think we went into that before we did it.

We anticipated that this is not called vacation, this is called a family reconnaissance mission. Well. I love my family. I actually. And I can still say that on the backside of being there. Yeah, but I actually got. But I did not vacate.

I got some, you can be a little bit jealous because I got some alone time. That's the way it worked out for me for a couple of days. I used the restroom by myself. I took showers alone. Long showers. And that long bathroom trips. I'll put that down as a complaint, actually.

I actually, so one of the things that happened to me. The showering alone part. Is we stay with my sister-in-law, and which incidentally, I mean, point number one is I am sharing a bathroom with teenage boys. And that's not something. Two of them? Well, if you count my son, three of them. Three teenage boys and then that's not something. Two of them?

Well if you count my son, three of them. Three teenage boys and then a nine year old. If you, you know when you get to, I've already got two teenage nephews. And then you and Jessie. Yes. How many sinks are in there? There's two sinks.

Okay. But it wasn't like one is designated the teenage boy sink. Boy that would have been convenient. I should have thought about that. I should have written that over the sink with a lipstick or something. They have lipstick in there?

Not sure I could have found some or maybe I just printed it out. Teenage boys use this sink for whatever purpose you use sinks for. I don't think it would be nice to start designating whose sink is who in someone else's bathroom. But just taking a shower in a place that a teenage boy showers,

it's just not something that, I just, not something I'm interested in. I mean, I have a different bathroom from my kids for a reason, because they disrespect the bathroom. You know what I'm saying? It smells weird in there all the time. They cannot hit the toilet. To save their life. With their pee stream.

Yeah, I mean, I'm taller than they are. I'm further away from the toilet than they are. I still hit it every time. You got more experience. I got a lot more experience. I mean, if you make them clean it up a few times, do they have to clean up their own pee splatter? No, I do.

You did? Yeah. I mean. Well, I do that here. Listen. You're not cleaning up I mean. Well I do that here. Listen. You're not cleaning up after me. I cleaned up the toilet. I am like a freaking bulldog every time.

I mean I rummaged under the sink and I got out the sprayer and the brusher. You know what, come to think of it, I cleaned off the freaking rim of the toilet just not 17 minutes ago. I saw that and that was after yesterday I cleaned the whole toilet. In the stage bathroom?

Yeah in the stage bathroom. The stage bathroom, somebody had a big old just circle of piss. A dollop of it, yeah. Yeah that had dried. I looked at that. So what that means is that somebody did it, you could clearly see that it was there

and then they let it dry and that means other people saw it. I don't know if you see it until it dries. Leave it to me to come in there and wipe it down. I'm gonna give it the benefit of the doubt. That's not my job anymore. Did you do it? Yes. And I did it too, we're dads.

No, we're cleaning the toilets in our own company. Literally. Something's wrong here. Yesterday I cleaned the toilet, and today you cleaned the same toilet. Did you use the Lysol spray and then the brush? I didn't get that into it, man. What do you mean?

You scrunched up toilet paper and used your hand? Yes. There's a brush with a handle right beside it. No, listen, you gotta understand. It wasn't a full commitment toilet cleaning. It was literally like, I gotta pee, I need to get to wardrobe to change, but there's this pee dollop there,

and I feel like I should take care of it, so I did the quick rip, ball up, and wipe. Yeah. And then wash. Oh yeah. Yeah, because even though I don't think I came in contact with the piss dollop, I just feel like it probably could have contaminated me. I thought about putting a sign,

but you know signs in like an environment like this don't do any good. I mean we had signs on like don't leave dirty dishes in the sink and that hasn't worked for two years. It's still there though. I mean. The sign's there but it doesn't do any good. You mean like office signs, corporate office signs?

Yeah like we can't, are we getting that corporate, it's sad. We've had those for years, man. I mean, I literally, the thoughts that were going through my head were, if I put up a sign and it said, whenever you're done using the toilet, look down at what you've done to it. Like, don't just get up from the toilet, flush and assume it's a happy ending.

You've gotta turn around and look at what you're leaving behind. This won't work. And I don't know. Telling this. Well it's not a pithy sign, I gotta wordsmith it. But it's like when you're done, turn around son. What about that? They do make, like at Cracker Barrel.

Look at what you did. At Cracker Barrel they make these kinds of signs. And it's a little humorous so it takes the edge off. That doesn't help. If you sprinkle when you tinkle. What is it? If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.

Yeah, exactly. Cracker Barrel's already thought of this, man. Incidentally, I went to Cracker Barrel over the break. Cracker Barrel was recently, it's not a sponsor, but they were recently voted, there was a dude that went out and tried all the fast food restaurants, the chain restaurants, not fast food, but chain restaurants.

A dude, like a journalist? Like a real restaurant person, critic. This is secondhand secondhand at this point, but all I know is that the secondhand secondhand boiled down version of this story. So this is not like a tasty producer. No, it's just like some, like a, the buzz of the story, the hook of the story is

professional restaurant critic reviews, legitimately reviews fast food, not fast food, chain restaurants, and Cracker Barrel was on the list, and like IHOP was on the list, and Cracker Barrel was on the list and like IHOP was on the list. And Cracker Barrel was the top. Oh, well, first of all, that sounds like fun. There's also a new hipster Cracker Barrel.

Somebody look this up. Hipster Barrel? No, the people who make Cracker Barrel, again, this is like third hand, third hand. You don't know what you're talking about. So y'all look that up. They're gonna Google hipster Cracker Barrel? Yeah, because the people who make Cracker Barrel are making a new restaurant and it's supposed to be

the hipster Cracker Barrel. It's called Holler and Dash. Holler and Dash. Where is it? Is that one word, Holler and Dash? And is it multiple locations or are they doing a test? Is it like Holler,, holler apostrophe? Holler and dash.

The letter N space dash? Ampersand. Ampersand. Oh, ampersand, that's the hipsters like that. Holler and dash. And where is it? She's trying to figure it out. Okay, but see.

Alabama. Oh, it's in Alabama? Alabama? Is it Birmingham? Birmingham probably. Homewood. I don't know that. Homewood, Alabama? Birmingham's got some history down there.

Okay yeah, yeah. There's some greased mustaches in Birmingham certainly. So where were we? Sharing a bathroom with teenage boys. Yeah. Not something that I would choose to do. But you're being hosted, man. I mean, you can't.

No, no, I'm not complaining, am I? Yeah, I probably am. I shared, this is the first year. I love my nephews. I think I set this up that like, we got to stay in my nephew who's two years old. Did he pee all over the seat too? Two and a half.

He does that in a diaper. Oh that's better. I should have given diapers to these guys. But our entire family shared his bathroom which has one sink and then like a Paddington the Bear shower curtain. Do you pee on that? Paddington Bear, I don't know if there's a the,

that might be Yogi the Bear. Yeah I think it's just Paddington. No it's Pokey the Bear, Yogi Bear, and Paddington. Paddington Bear, I don't know if there's a the, that might be Yogi the Bear. Yeah, I think it's just. No, it's Pokey the Bear, Yogi Bear, and Paddington. Paddington Bear. Paddington. Paddington. There's no B or Bear. Paddington who happens to be a bear.

So the thing that, since we're talking about using toilets, we went there. Just roll with it. And just to the right of the toilet is like a basket with all of the stuff that you bathe a two-year-old with. Right, yeah, things that float.

And I bet it. You gotta constantly distract them, what's actually happening. I have immaculate aim when it comes to doing number one. But even I know, and I'm not above admitting this, that I, along with everyone else, does an imperceptible spray even when you have immaculate aim. Mike Rowe talked about this.

It's everywhere. On something special at one point. The amount of kickback that goes throughout the room. Right, you wanna flush with this, you wanna put the lid down and then flush. Just flushing alone. And then it's still not doing a lot of good. Right.

You just need to just get out of the bathroom. Flush and run. What I didn't tell. Holler and dash. What I didn't tell them. Holler and dash. What I didn't tell them, and you know, Lincoln and Lando are both peeing into this toilet, and Nehemiah, my two year old nephew's bath toys are right there beside the toilet. Well, getting showered.

And yeah, and I moved them. Yeah, good. But then I found every day they'd be moved back. So I think what they would do is, my sister-in-law would go in there and she'd put everything back or something. Do your boys do a good job with the peeing? No. The toilet seat in their bathroom at my home right now,

I went in there to lift the seat and it came off in my hand. They've peed the seat literally off of the toilet. I don't think that's related. I don't know how they did it. That's a structural issue. So every time that I go, if I'm like doing stuff in their neck of the woods and I gotta use the bathroom, I'll go in there and I always lift the seat

and I'll have to like prop it up, either against the back or against the wall. Yeah. I don't know what they've been doing. Yeah, I've only peed in my kid's bathroom once in two years. And I need to talk to Christy. I did it one time and was like,

I'm never doing this again. I will go out the window before I come in here again. Our first stop was, of course we get off the plane, and I'll let you get back to your in-laws too, I'm just gonna pepper this in there for chronology. Of course I get off the plane and I don't remember seeing you, I think you were gone. Yeah I left you.

On the North Carolina side of things, I do not remember. Oh no, we walked out to the rental area to take the shuttle to our cars and we were at two different rental cars so you get in a shuttle bus and take off and that's the last time I see you. Did you ever get your rental car? Well.

Could you use some company that was suspect? I used a jank company and it turns out they were like a subsidiary of the place you went on the first shuttle and then 20 minutes later when no shuttle showed up, I realized I was supposed to get on your shuttle. Oh, did you use Payless? I used, it was called.

I used Avis and then Avis bought Payless. Yes. But they don't treat you as well. And as I pulled up in the shuttle. Because they know you want a Payless. Yeah, they didn't treat me good. When I pulled up, I saw you leaving. And I was like, are you kidding me?

I could have been on a shuttle 30 minutes ago. Avis preferred, man. I just rolled up and got right in my car. Got in the van and then my wife and I have a superpower and it's put me in a vehicle or in any enclosed environment where there's been cigarettes smoked at any point, half a cigarette, quarter of a cigarette, and we will know it.

I don't think that's a superpower. It is and we got in there and my kids are like, you know, bouncing off the walls, ready to get to where we're going and Christy's like, mm, and I'm like, I get in after, I'm like, yep, we get back out and we like take another 20 minutes to get another car because we both get instant headaches

when you, and it's like, you had cloth seats and it was all in there. You really went for the cheapo. Man, we are really complaining on this Ear Biscuit. I'm sorry, guys. Like nothing has been positive. Like, but this kinda redeems it for us so just bear with us.

There's no redemptive element to the story I'm telling. Just complaining about it redeems it for us. You have no benefit in listening to this. Unless it entertains you for some reason. What was I saying? Okay so we get in the car, finally we get in a different car and our first tradition is we go to cookout and I get that burger and that peanut butter milkshake.

The best milkshake on the planet. You go straight to cook out from the airport. Yes, because we have to drive all the way to Kinston, North Carolina. Right, because you don't have a, because you have to go to Kinston. To Christy's parents' house. Right, and so I can't do that,

not that I necessarily would just go to a fast food restaurant, but we meet a family at home. Yeah. And this time it was, we went straight to my brother's house and they had Bojangles for us. Because it's your mom's birthday, right? Yeah, on the 22nd, it was my mom's birthday. Right.

So. I have to tell you this. We didn't do. You were there celebrating it. Yeah, we didn't do anything because we got there kind of late so it wasn't like a super special occasion. You know, also she's like 71 now,

it's not as big as 70. Who's counting? Maybe it's 72, I'm not even counting. See's not as big as 70. Who's counting? Maybe it's 72, I'm not even counting. See I don't even know. Is she counting? I think she quit counting. Okay well then it's fine. Got that peanut butter shake, got back on the road.

I did notice once I got to my in-laws that we're all sharing and Christy's sister and her husband and my nephew, they're all there too. And we're all sharing a bathroom with one toilet, one sink in that place for two nights. And that's like a circus. And I noticed that I took my toiletries, I'm getting back to the toilet now.

I took my toiletries and when I was done using them, I would put them in the closet and hide them so like no one has a chance of using my toiletries, no one has a chance of micturating and then it's gonna settle on my toiletries. You hid them? Yeah, I mean out of respect too. There's so many toiletries flying around. Well no, I definitely.

You don't wanna leave, you don't wanna have to push mine out of the way to brush your teeth. Oh without a doubt, I completely contained, sealed my toiletries. I would bring them with me, I would use them and I would reseal them but I didn't hide them. I noticed that Christy, I noticed that her toiletry bag, in an effort to be respectful

to everyone else's space, she would take her toiletry bag and she would put it in the corner of the bathroom which happened to be just to the side and behind the toilet. What? Did you talk with her about this? And I moved it. Yeah.

And again, I went in there the next day and it was moved back. And I forgot to tell her. Maybe she's listening. Christy, don't do that. And I also tell her sister Brittany, Brittany, don't put Nehemiah's bath toys around the toilet when we're in town.

Because this stuff's getting sprayed. Yeah, and where did she put them? She kept putting it back there, I didn't tell her. I kept forgetting to tell her. It's not my place to just go off on a rant. That's this place. Right, you do that on a podcast. Okay, well we're gonna keep talking about our trips

back to North Carolina. Hopefully, we're gonna move on from the toilets. No more toilets. Can we go off the toilets? No more toilets, but first. We're gonna turn around and look at what we've done. Let's look at what we've done on the toilets and say okay, everything's cleaned up,

we're not going back to it. Is this a metaphor? Yeah, I'm putting into practice what I said I want people to do here at the office. Okay. Look back at it. Yeah. Like that rap song. That's the moral of the story.

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But don't fall asleep yet. Back to the biscuit. Now, you talked about your trip to cookout and I thought about cookout and as I was saying earlier, I had a little free time. I'll tell you how the free time came about. So we stay in the same place the entire trip because all of my family is, you know.

Doesn't love you. They're within a 10 to 15 mile radius of this central location in Fuquay Verena, North Carolina. So I don't have to travel all over North Carolina. We want like a home base essentially. But my kids, but basically what ended up happening this time is my boys ended up going to my brother's house. So they got cousins galore, right?

We got, and they got cousins that are boys. They're contemporaries. Yeah, and they just love playing with them. And then, well, Shepherd loves playing with his, my niece, Adeline, they're about the same age and they just love playing with him, and then, well, Shepherd loves playing with his, my niece, Adeline. They're about the same age, and they're totally into the same stuff, and they just wanna play all the time. Adeline is like, wants to be outside constantly,

and Shepherd absolutely loves that. That's great. So they're like two peas in a pod. They're spending all this time together, and then my sister-in-law, she'll text me and be like, "'Hey, if the boys wanna stay here again tonight, they can? And I'm like, yes they do. Don't even ask, you don't even ask them

because they love it. And they do, and they wanted to stay. And then Jessie was like, well, I've got these friends that I need to see, so I started seeing my family begin to disperse. What about your friends? I wasn't gonna say anything. I was like, well, I'm not gonna make any plans

because eventually you'll all be gone. And I'll just gonna say anything. I was like, well, I'm not gonna make any plans because eventually you'll all be gone. And I'll just be left alone. Oh wow. And I don't even think they realized that they left me. And also my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and their kids, they had to go to some event in Western North Carolina, so I just found myself alone in the home.

I was like. It's like Home Alone 5. This hasn't happened in years. I'm alone in a home. There's two dogs. That's fine. They don't talk much. No.

And so I was like, well, what am I gonna do with this? I had basically two days of this. What? Yeah, so therapeutic. I hate you. Well, the first thing I did is I played through a game on my new iPad. I don't know why I put quotes around iPad. Is it a generic iPad?

No, it's a real iPad. I'm getting like tears of jealousy. My birth eye is welling up with it, like a tear of jealousy. My wife got me for Christmas an iPad, an iPad Pro, because I've been talking about how I kinda wanna make a transition to using an iPad more than just using a laptop. One of the reasons being the Apple Pencil and doing stuff and interacting with the pencil.

I didn't even know Apple had a pencil. Oh, I haven't shown you this. You can frickin' write on an iPad like you're writing in a piece of paper and it looks exactly like your handwriting. It's phenomenal and fascinating. Because I like to- Fast forward six months, I got a pencil

and then Rhett does not use his and I'm using mine. Oh no, no, I'm gonna use it. Okay. I've been using it. Now, because I do a lot of- Is it called pencil? It's called the Apple Pencil. How'd you miss this? I don't like to be distracted by stuff.

Okay, so you can, it's been out for a while. This is not a new thing. This is like two old farts talking about something from like three years ago. Well then keep going, keep going. But basically what I wanted to do is, I don't know why I'm defending the purchase of an iPad. It's a perfectly normal thing.

Do you have to sharpen it? Yes, you have to sharpen it. Maybe that know why I'm defending the purchase of an iPad. It's a perfectly normal thing. Do you have to sharpen it? Yes, you have to sharpen it. Maybe that's why I quit working. I mean, that would be pretty cool if you had to sharpen it. Talk about hipster Cracker Barrel. It's been scientifically proven that writing things down as opposed to typing things causes you to remember them better.

And so if you take notes just with your typey types, it doesn't lodge in your brain in the same way that it does if there's a physical connection in the way that handwriting brings about a physical connection with information. So I like to take notes and write thoughts and stuff. But I've got these books. That's why I use Canvas, not MS Paint.

And I've got a lot of little moleskin books and stuff and I'm kinda in this and that. But you know, I can't access them by the date and stuff unless I flip through them. Sure. But so the cool thing about this is I can like journal. What a drudgery that is. I can like journal or take notes,

but then I can also be like, I don't feel like writing, my hand's tired, I'm gonna type and it puts it all into the right place. In the cloud too, so if California burns away. Exactly. Or mudslides into the ocean. Right. Then you still got your necessities.

But then I was like, you know something I don't do? I don't play any games because we fill all our time with working or with hanging out with family. And so I was like, I'm going to play a game on the iPad. So you were like, okay, Pencil, recommend a game. No, that's not how it works. It doesn't talk to you? No, it's only $200.

It's not like a $2,000 Pencil that listens to you. That's what I'm getting. So I said, I'm gonna go, and I got this game, it's an old game, it's like a 2012 game called Limbo that is this like award-winning, beautiful side-scroller puzzle game. 2012?

Yeah, but it's just, you guys ever heard of this game? It's this great, it's an incredible game that's like, you're this little boy character, but it's all black and white and it's like dark and you get killed in all these different ways. I died like a thousand times in this game. But you don't really know when you've gotten to a new spot in the game,

because it's just this world that just continues and it's relatively short so you can play through it in a couple of days. A couple. So you were alone and you downloaded this game. This was the choice. This is what you were gonna do with your day. Yeah, I was like, I've never done that.

I hear there are people who just sit down and play video games for like hours. What is it like to be that kind of person? I'm gonna find out. Like if it were me, I'd be like, okay, I'm gonna make my drink and it's gonna be special and I'm gonna sit in my special chair and I'm gonna wear my special PJs.

This, are you, this is how you talk to yourself? In my mind, yeah. I would get everything right. Like, did you, to play a freaking game? If, I mean, if I was gonna be that alone for the first time in years to do something that only normal people do and not, I mean, in the way you're thinking about it,

like playing a game for fun? Special PJs? No, I just sat down way you're thinking about it, like playing a game for fun? Special PJs? No, I just sat down on a couch and played it. All day. Did you drink a special drink? I drank several drinks, but they weren't special. They were just for sustenance so I could keep playing that game.

Okay. But I beat the game. I only consulted the internet twice. How long did it take? Uh, I don't know. I mean, did you do it in that one day? I didn't finish in those two days. I finished over the break twice. How long did it take? Uh, I don't know. I mean, did you do it in that one day? I didn't finish in those two days. I finished over the break eventually.

After I started it, I kept going back to it. I don't know, 10 hours? It's probably a lot, probably total, I don't know. But I kinda concluded that I don't know if I wanna do that again. I think the moral of the story is I got through beating the game and I was like, and I'm gonna be very vulnerable here, I almost cried.

Yeah, the game was so beautiful. And you kept being murdered on a moment by moment basis and then at the end. It was a beautiful thing. And at the end, the way that, it's just a beautiful game and then the way that the game ends and you solve the last puzzle and it goes into slow-mo and then you get up

and there's this spoiler alert, it's from 2012, who cares? There's a girl and she like looks up and I was just like. Is it animation? Yeah. It's like this part is not like. No, it looks like it's just more of the game. Okay. But it's a game so beautiful

that I found myself like almost crying and then I was like, I don't know if I wanna do that again. I mean it was pretty satisfying so beautiful that I found myself almost crying. And then I was like, I don't know if I wanna do that again. I mean, it was pretty satisfying, but I kinda feel like I wasted time. I probably should have been coming up with things. I think it's important to not come up with things. I mean, we talked about that. Yeah, that was one of the things,

because we had worked so hard in 2017 that I was like, I just don't wanna do the thing that I always do, which is just work. And I've been doing this, you know, the Enneagram stuff, the personality test stuff, and like, which I wanna talk about on the podcast at some point, but I don't wanna give it short shrift, whatever shrift is, right now.

It's like Bitcoin, I think. But basically. No one's gonna believe in it, but then it's gonna be pretty amazing. There's like a personality testing that we've gotten into Enneagram that's really awesome. We'll talk about it later. But one of the things that's- And by we, he means him and his game avatar self.

And one of the things that's true about my personality type, and this is also true about your personality type, even though it's different, is this feeling of, if you're not working, you're like worthless. Yeah. You know, so like long periods of inactivity or just vacationing or just hanging out, you feel like you have to give yourself homework.

Restlessness, yeah. So it's very difficult to just stop and play a game. Yeah. It's very difficult for me to do. But for creative people. You gotta fill the tank, man. You gotta fill the tank with something that is aimless.

And I wanna hear from you in a second. I just wanna get to this point because the whole point of the story was to tell you about how I'm already very jealous. I went to cookout. Please keep going. Oh you did get a special drink. Yeah, no I didn't get a milkshake. You got a special burger.

I didn't get a milkshake. You get my back. I gotta say, man, it's good, but it's just not what, you built it up too much. I mean, I went there, I got the burger. Did you get cheddar style, but did you replace the cheddar with sliced cheese? Okay, a burger doesn't have to have

all these very specific choices in order to be a good burger. I got the Carolina style burger with cheese added. Never had that. Okay, but it's all the things that I like. It's a good burger. People have told me, well you gotta go back and get the chicken sandwich.

It's really good too. And I'm like, well I can't, I'm here such a precious little time that I went back and got, on New Year's Eve, it was freezing. You remember that? I do remember that. And. I was here actually, I don't remember that.

Turned to my brother-in-law. I'd come back already. I was still there. It was like 72 here. I was freezing and we were watching Steve Harvey and I turned to my brother-in-law and I said, I think we had planned this out earlier, but I said it in action at that moment.

It's like, we can't forget to go get that milkshake we were talking about to ring in the new year. And we got in, oh shoot, I just remembered something that I vowed I would not forget to tell you. Uh-oh. And I just remembered it. Well, just to finish that thought, we got in the car to go to cookout, but it was no mere car, it was a truck.

A truck. Did you, were you in the back of the truck? JB, my brother-in-law's friend, who came over with his wife to hang out while we just watched the ball drop and ring in the new year at their home so the kids could go to sleep at their leisure. Drives up in his truck and JB had told me earlier that day

or the day before. New Year's Eve you just traveling around going to cookout? Yeah. Like as the ball's dropping? No, no, no, like at like 9.45 or something. Still pretty late. Yeah, yeah, I was like.

And it was open? Because I was, yeah, it was open. I got a peanut butter milkshake. But the way we got there was in the truck that this friend of my brother-in-law, it's his truck. Joke. Am I being clear about this?

It's very strange. You seem like you're about to say something significant about the truck, but you just keep saying that it's his truck. Joke. Am I being clear about this? It's very strange. You seem like you're about to say something significant about the truck but you just keep saying that it's a truck. Well just let me get to it. Is there something special about the truck? It's a big Ford truck. You know how you can get away with driving those huge trucks in North Carolina but you can't do that out here

in Los Angeles. And you can't fit them anywhere out here. Can't park it anywhere, you can't drive it in anything. You can drive it through stuff but people would be offended and it'd be insurance problems. JB said, this guy's truck's got everything. It's got massage chairs. What?

Massage chairs. In his truck? His truck. That seems illegal. Not one. Driving while massaged? But two massage chairs. Driving under the influence of massage.

And JB told me that and the moment he did I was like, I must ride in this truck. To get a milkshake. Yeah, and so when I found out that he was coming over I was like yes! And the moment this dude walked in I just like, you know when I found out that he was coming over, I was like, yes! And the moment this dude walked in, I just like, you know how I get sometimes, I just clamped onto him. Yeah, I'm glad I wasn't there.

I was just like, good to meet you, tell me about this truck. Did he seem relaxed? I don't believe he seemed super relaxed. Did he seem, I mean, I would think somebody that's got massage chairs in their car just looks like a monk. He was the coolest guy I've ever met.

Walks in like a slinky, you know? Just barely, just slides in the door like a bowl of jello. He was not that. Limber? He was not that, what's the word, jiggly. He wasn't jello-y. Well he probably used it once or twice and then he's taking it for granted now.

When was the last time he massaged himself in his truck? Well I asked him did he massage himself on the way over there, he said no. Yeah it's like you were like I wouldn't wanna be there but you do the exact same thing, you're doing it to me now. But I do it more subtly. No you're not, you're doing it to me right now. No no, in person, I slide the questions in.

I was like hey man, good to meet you, tell me about your truck. Because I heard something about it that cannot be true. It's got massage chairs and he's like, yep, two of them. So he was proud of it. And it's, I mean, to be clear, the driver's seat and the passenger seat, there's also two more seats behind it

because it's one of those four door big trucks. You can, he's got the big screen in the middle. And of course, I was already planning on getting a cookout shake on New Year's Eve and then I'm like, oh the deal is sealed now. We are not gonna forget about this. We get in that car and like, first of all, we walk out the front door, truck's already running.

I'm like, man we've been in your house for two hours. You left your truck running? No, and he starts it remotely. He's like, man, I hit a button. I'm like, okay, I knew that could have happened. But I still don't believe your massage chair. And I get in there and he's like, and he turns on the massage.

We hit the road, Jack. Are we just talking vibrate? No. Are we talking like kneading? I'm talking like kneading, like with a K. Kneading with a K. Yeah. Kneading with a K, shiatsu.

Oh no, shiatsu. You're shiatsuing me. Like, because I was like, if we're talking vibration, like I've tried to read a book while being in a vibrating massage chair before and you cannot do it. You can't focus. You can't read signs.

If you're driving with a vibrating chair, this doesn't seem safe. But kneading is fine. And he was like, just wait. And so then he turns it on and there's three levels and he put it on level three for me. He went straight to three? Yeah, he didn't wanna hold back.

He didn't break you. Short drive to Fuquay. Yeah. And it felt good. I mean it's not like a person giving you a massage. Of course not. But for a chair in a truck that's going to get a milkshake, pretty great.

Is it the best massage you've ever had in a truck going to get a milkshake? Yes, absolutely and it was the biggest moment of my life that I can't believe I forgot to tell you about. Are you gonna get these installed in your car? Or is it the kind of thing you only enjoy there? Because what I do when I experience something I really like is I find a way to get it into my own life.

You can't, I mean, I would have to get one of those big freaking trucks. I don't think they put those in just a normal vehicle. You could probably talk to somebody in an alley. It's funny because when JB first told me, oh yeah, we just came back from the ball game with so and so and he's got massage chairs in his truck and I'm like what and I'm going through all that

and he's like, hold on, I can't remember what I was gonna say. I'm so excited about this freaking massage chair that I lost my train of thought. Yeah, it happens. Give me a second. I'll give you a few seconds. I mean, it literally just sent my brain into just like,

I'm done. Like that's how great this massage chair was. You don't wanna talk about anything else. He said, yeah, it's great when you need to relax or if you spent the day at the fair. That's what JB said that he said to him. And then when he comes over to the house, I'm like, so you got massage chairs in your truck?

And I'm like grilling about it. He's like, yeah, it's great for when you need, you know, you just need a little massage when you spent the day at the fair. This guy, how much, I mean, the state fair is only around for a few days. And he doesn't work there. Like a week. He just goes to it.

I don't know, that was his thing. He's like, if you spent all day at the fair, you wanna drive home and get a massage. Yeah, the fair can be tough, man. Not to mention like a full day of work. But. And then at cookout, he ordered a pineapple banana milkshake and I gave him a really hard time about that.

Yeah, you should have. He, I mean. I wouldn't have let him sip it. I grilled him so hard about his massage chair and then about that milkshake that I'm sure he hates me. I know this guy hates me. He's like, your brother-in-law is the weirdest human. Pineapple banana. I'm sorry.

He deserves every bit of it for that milkshake choice. Now what I will say, I couldn't get a milkshake because I try to stay away from the milk products. But I did get chicken nuggets and corn dogs as sides because yes, that is something you can do at this restaurant, believe it or not. And I gotta say I was underwhelmed with both the nuggets and the corn dog.

Where'd you eat it? Alone in my car in the parking lot. Did they? Not being massaged. That's not sad at all. I mean I was like, I want this stuff fresh, man. alone in my car in the parking lot. Did they? Not being massaged. That's not sad at all. I mean I was like, I want this stuff fresh, man. I didn't wanna take it back to the house.

Was your iPad there? Oh yeah, you better believe it. I was stopping every once in a while to play a little of that game and die and then I'd take a bite of a corn dog. It wasn't bad but it was not as good as Steak and Shake and it was not as good as Five Guys. I'm not gonna say it's better than steak and shake

but and Five Guys is much better than I thought it was but I don't wanna say any more about it than that. Okay well maybe I just need to get another one next time. I also had another meal while I was alone in a parking lot. I typically go to Smithfield's Barbecue, chicken and barbecue. Yeah. They call it SCNB now. It looks like a bank sign. Have you seen that? They changed that. Stupid. That was dumb. So stupid. Yeah Smithfield's barbecue, chicken and barbecue. You know, they call it SCMB now, it looks like a bank sign.

Have you seen that? They changed that. Stupid. That was dumb. So stupid. Yeah, Smithfield's, if you're listening, the SCMB, not a good move. And the Golden Corral behind it closed. How on earth does a Golden Corral in Fuquay Verena close? I don't know.

Like, what is the world coming to when an all-you-can-eat buffet in Fuquay Verena goes out of business? There's only one explanation, they ran out of food. That's it, there's no other logical explanation. There is not, well, no, the other one is they opened a bigger one a few blocks away and I didn't see it.

Yeah, there's another one somewhere. There's gotta be another one. Yeah, definitely, that's what happened. But I gotta say that the better sandwich, in my opinion, was the barbecue sandwich with slaw. The bun is so soft and I got a half pint of Brunswick stew on the side. It was so good.

And where'd you eat that? In the parking lot of Smithfields Park. Alone again? Yeah, which is very close to the cookout parking lot. I spent a lot of time alone, I didn't mind. I enjoyed it. Oh yeah, oh yeah. I mean, we dedicated a whole chapter of the book to it.

Yeah. But I did have some family time and one of the, and I actually sent you a picture of this. Hold on, no, no, no. Is this the Gaga? Yeah. You Instagrammed this. No I didn't.

Oh, I sent it to our group text. That's where you saw it. Oh that's where it was. I did not put it on Instagram. Okay yeah. I thought about putting it on Instagram but then I thought that you do something like that and people just start complaining, you know?

Should you not talk about it here? No I'll talk about it here. Oh yeah. Because you know, it's fine. This is inner circle stuff. My grandmother-in-law, Gaga. Great picture, by the way. Whom you've read about in the book of mythicality,

because you've read the book of mythicality and you know the important role that she played in my relationship with my wife in the early stages when she was 75 years old. Now she's 92 or three. Wow. And she was this health nut forever. She was the health nut forever.

You know, she was the one that had all the crazy like supplements and she did like the hallelujah acres diet thing, you know. She debunked that milk was good for you. Oh she, yeah she. I remember you brought that to me. And she shattered my world for a couple of days. She told me about how bad milk was and then the way she talks about traditional medicine

is I think she calls it cut, burn, and poke or something like that. Like she just doesn't. Surgeons. She doesn't like traditional medicine and she walked all the time and she was completely self-sufficient even after her husband died. But she had smoked.

Not that you need a husband to be self-sufficient. No, no, I'm saying a lot of times when you're old and you become, you know, your spouse dies, things go downhill, but that didn't happen with her. So she was a smoker. Can you turn the heat back on, by the way? Oh gosh, come on, are you kidding? I'm getting cold.

We'll just do some jumping jacks. Jumping jacks. You want me to literally get up in the middle of a podcast and do jumping jacks? You think that would be more distracting than what I just did before you made me drag it out into this? I know that this is now more distracting.

I think it would be less distracting. Than doing, than this. So she used to smoke, which is very excusable as someone who is her age in North Carolina. Her husband worked in tobacco. So she naturally smoked a little bit as a young lady. Yeah. And then we found out that she occasionally smoked

all throughout this whole health nut craze. Really? But just like very occasionally, she'd sneak a cig. Sneak-ratively. But something just clicked in the past two years where I think she hit 90 and she's just like, who cares now? If I wanna smoke, I'm gonna smoke.

And she's smoking a lot. And she came over to the house and she's hanging out and then she's like, I gotta smoke a cigarette. And we're like, okay, Gaga, well you can't do it inside. So we put her on the sun porch, the unheated sun porch. We didn't put her there, she went there. And so she's got, in the picture, you know, she's got the blanket.

This is my perspective, when I saw the picture, there was a caption, but first I read the picture and it was like, it's so funny. It was cute, very old Gaga, totally bundled up, like layers upon layers upon layers, and she's got two hands in the air with two fingers up at each one, looking into the camera, smiling blissfully,

and perched between each of her two fingers on both hands is a cigarette. Yeah, she's double fisting. She's double fisting cigarettes, smiling at the camera, and then I'm like, there's like a weird sheen on the front of the photo. Of reflection, if you will.

And I did, and I. And I explained it in the text thread. I said, notice the reflection, that's because I took this from inside the house, she's on the porch. You pushed her out into the frigid cold. She knew she couldn't smoke in the house, although we did hear- With two cigarettes?

We did hear, I'll tell you how she got two cigarettes, but we heard a story, she- Trying to kill her right there? She went over to somebody's house. My mother-in-law told me this story, her daughter. They went over to a friend's house and then Gaga was like, I wanna smoke a cigarette. And my mother-in-law was like, well, Gaga,

mom, you can't smoke in somebody's house. And she was like, what kind of person doesn't let you smoke inside their house? Like, she's just, you know, that's just, that's who she's become, man. She's totally embracing it. So the reason she had two cigarettes is because she goes out there by herself and my brother-in-law,

who does not smoke, I mean, he's probably had a cigarette before, but he does not smoke, was like, I feel like I should just go out there by herself and my brother-in-law who does not smoke, I mean he's probably had a cigarette before, but he does not smoke, is like, I feel like I should just go out there and smoke one with her out of solidarity. You know, she's out there, you got a 92-year-old woman out there in the cold sun porch smoking a cigarette. I'm gonna go out there. And so he lights one up and he takes a couple of puffs.

He's like, I just can't do it, I can't finish this. So he gives, and she's like, well don't put it out, give it to me. And so that's why she had two cigarettes. And that's why there was a scene because you were in the warmth. Yeah. Taking a photo of her.

Yeah, and then sending it to. Like she was a zoo animal. No, she knows that it's funny. She absolutely knows that it's funny. That's half the reason that she does it. But also she's like, I don't really care if I keep living, I just wanna have a good time, I made it to 90. It's, I mean, one of the, on a sadder note,

this is one of the reasons we make sure to go back home is you wanna see everybody, but you definitely wanna see the older relatives. And you know, I've been blessed with a lot of my grandparents still living. Three of them. Yeah, three out of four of my grandparents are still alive.

Nana and Papa, my dad's parents, and Nanny, my mom's mom. Now her husband Clyde died when I was a junior in college. So 1998. But you know, they're getting up there. Nanny had a stroke. She really went through it earlier this year and it was difficult to not be there.

So it's like you wanna go home because, well you don't wanna, you know, you say it to, Christy and I talk about it, it's like well this may be the last Christmas. Nana and Papa are doing better, much better than Nanny is. But you know it's kind of like the tough aspect.

It's like okay you and Jessie are gonna see Gaga and how many more times are you gonna get to see her? Like we go to Nanny's and the tradition is we go there on Christmas Eve and she's not able to really leave the house. Right. and she's not able to really leave the house. And at the point where we're gonna exchange presents, it's like this year it was,

at that moment she just burst into tears and it was so sad. And then she said, and she doesn't talk a lot after the stroke because she has a hard time putting words together. And it was this sad speech where she just like, it just came out and she was like, I just couldn't get you any gifts this year.

And it was like the saddest moment. And of course we don't care about the gifts. But as sad as that was, being able to respond to it and talk to her about it and be there and to have quality time with her and just reassure everybody that of course that's not what this is about, it's not about presents, everybody that of course that's not what this is about. It's not about presents.

Was it turned a really sad moment into something which I think was very meaningful to us. But I mean it's, at this point in our lives, that's a big part of the holidays is okay, who's still here that's not gonna be here that much longer? And you know, you start, you know, so you start to think about mortality and you start to think about, you know,

what can happen to any of us? You know, when the holidays are that time of year when you think about last year things were like this or year before things were like that or. But it's also the time when you contribute to your mortality by going and eating barbecue and fried chicken and biscuits. Yeah, yeah.

I mean if I had to eat, if I had to eat the way, not everybody in North Carolina eats like this of course, but more people in North Carolina eat that way than they do here and you know, shout out to Rhett's Instagram account, RhettMC. It's one thing to promote your Instagram, it's another thing to do it in that way. In the third person?

You don't like that? It's distasteful? Those of you who follow me on Instagram know that I did a story, haven't done a lot since, but I did a story on New Year's Day, maybe the day after, no, New Year's Eve, I don't know when it was. But I was looking done a lot since, but I did a story on New Year's Day, maybe the day after, no, New Year's Eve, I don't know when it was. But I was looking for a healthy meal

and I found one at this place that was this weird smoothie place that had like three step process where you had to get a shot of aloe and then you had to do a tea and then they gave you the smoothie and I was like, do I have to go through these three steps and it just hit me that maybe this was not the simplest approach to setting up a shop like this in Fuquay, but whatever, I did it, it was that maybe this was not the simplest approach to setting up a shop like this

in Fuquay, but whatever, I did it, it was great. It was great? Yeah, the smoothie was good. But yeah, it's just the way that we ate was so hard on the body. My GI has not recovered. I almost sharted a few minutes ago. Oh really?

And I was telling you, it was, hold on, you know what? Thanks for saying that. I'm not going back to that. I almost sharted a few minutes ago. Oh really? And I was telling you, it was, hold on, you know what? Thanks for saying that. I'm not going back to that. I'm just saying. Yeah, you just don't. I think it's because my, everything's not in alignment. Just leave it at I almost sharted. Yeah, we'll leave it there.

But let's talk about when we actually did meet. Because we had not planned on seeing each other. We crossed paths, yeah. We have not planned on seeing each other. We crossed paths, yeah. We have no intention of seeing each other. We see each other quite enough. In fact, we went and did a little skiing together as families after you got back.

Right, but going from house to house for me and Christy, it's like you go north a few quay for anything and then when you're coming back, it's like, well, I know there's a Target here and it's like oh I never know when we're gonna get back to this Target. I gotta buy a blanket because make the bed warmer or I gotta get another pillow.

Anything to make yourself more comfortable or I'm gonna buy my own groceries. But she was at Ulta. Which is next to the Target. Yeah but that's makeup. Yeah we were going to the Target but then she was like ooh there's an Ulta. Well and my wife was going into the Ulta as well,

and that's when we saw Christy. And I was like, there's Christy, and then I saw you and the kids, and so. In the car. And that was when I was doing my annual trip where I take everybody, I take the whole family, my brother and his family, Jessie's sister and her family, and my parents, I take them all to see Star Wars.

That's the tradition so far. And we went to, I always wait to the last minute to buy tickets and I'm buying like 15 tickets. It's like, buying that many tickets together, it's kind of a difficult thing to get. You gotta do reserve seating so you can all be together. And this is like, Star Wars is still peaking at that time. So the only place that we could find enough seats together,

and we couldn't even find 15 seats together, it was seven and eight, we had to separate into two different pods, on the back row, which is better than the front row, was at that place in Holly Springs, next to where we met each other, that serves the food. The dining theater? Yeah, that was the only place that we could see it.

Which is not ideal for a number of reasons. First of all, that place, I had a horrible experience there last year and it's, I don't. I feel like this whole podcast is just for people in Fuqua, like why don't we just rename Ear Biscuits like crap we wanna complain about related to Fuqua. Well this is Holly Springs, so a little different. All right.

But I don't, I'm not a big fan of the dine and movie situation unless it's a movie that I don't really care about that much. But like Star Wars is, although I'm not as big of a fan of it as you are, it's more of an, it's a big movie experience. Yeah. You got the complication of people ordering food and there's waiters that come to the freaking seats.

And of course they've got a pass in front of you. Now you're on the back row. And the way that they've got the seating. It's tiered. They've got the seating tiered so you don't really see. It's like the Beverly Hilton. But here's the problem. We get in there and they've got this glass.

What they did, my theory, is they built the theater and then somebody came in and said, these walls are not high enough. And so they had to build the walls higher for safety reasons. And now there's like a foot of glass. You're watching the movie through glass? If you're six foot seven, you're not,

but if you're four foot six like Shepard or whatever he is and sitting next to me, he's looking through. His name is Shepard. He's looking through the glass into like the third, the bottom, I put my head down where his was and the bottom third of the screen is covered in glass and the glass is dirty. Now you know how Gaga felt

putting her out there in the sun. Well she wasn't watching Star Wars. She was watching you guys being warm. She's the happiest person on the planet, double fisting cigarettes, ain't nothing wrong with her. Did Shepard complain? No, because he's a kid but I did ask, the waiter was like, can I get you any food?

I said no but you could clean that glass off. Getting sassy. I didn't say it quite like that. But he came back and he cleaned the glass off but he cleaned one side of it. And the other side had smudges too. But Shepherd and Adeline didn't care. But then the thing is that it doesn't matter who you are.

You can order food. And Shepherd and Adeline are down there ordering popcorn, just pressing the button and they got the waiter coming up and they've got two nine year olds just at will ordering food. There's all kinds of problems with this situation. Yeah. Well then I don't wanna know your opinion on the movie

because you have to filter it through the glass of all that. First of all, I'm not a Star Wars fanboy so I don't have like, you know, I'm not one of those people that's gonna be like, you messed with something precious. I know a lot of people are upset about certain things. I thought it was a very solid movie, very entertaining. I didn't enjoy it as much as last year's movie, but.

Rogue One? The one with Harrison Ford in it. Force Awakens, two years ago. Force Awakens? Yeah. Oh, I didn't enjoy it as much as the last two. Oh. But I enjoyed it a lot.

And I think they're all great. Well, if you wanna know what I think, you gotta follow me on Twitter, because I did tweet about that and I did respond to some people after I watched the last episode. Well, shout out, what's your handle? Shout it out.

Link Lamont. You gotta say shout out Well shout out, what's your handle? Shout it out. Link Lamont. You gotta say shout out. Shout out to Link's Twitter, Link Lamont is exactly how you said it except it was your information. Okay. I went to my mom's house. I wanna run this by you. By way of Ear Biscuit closure.

I'm gonna open a can here towards the end of conversation but bear with me. You know we go to the in-laws house, then we go to my mom's house and then we spent the majority of the time after that you know getting massages in trucks at my Christy's sister and her husband's house. Massages and milkshakes.

That would be awesome. But could we combine those two into an establishment? Yeah, yeah. In an RV, you'd be moving. It's mobile? Mobile massages and milkshakes. Mobile massages and milkshakes, 3Ms. Write that down, I'll write that down on my iPad.

The moment I step into my mom's house, I'm just struck with a scent. I'm like, gah! And it was strong. I've been in my mom's house many times. It's not the house that I grew up in, but her and Louis, it's their house. Been there many years though. Never smelled this smell.

And I'm like, should I say something? Again, it was that moment, it wasn't a cigarette smell, but it was that moment you get in the rental car and you're like, should I send, should I get it, should I send this car back and get another one? Because I'm gonna have to live in this car for the next week and a half. Okay, but. In this house.

You gotta give me. I know that my mom's house doesn't smell like this. You have to describe the smell because. I will. Once I know the category of the smell, I can tell you how you should have reacted. Well, I decided, it was so strong, I decided I had to say something to my mom. And I was like, mom,

and this was in the first four minutes of being in the house. What kind of smell was it? I said, mom, do you smell that? Well, of course she doesn't. Of course she didn't. And I'm like, it just smells like mothballs. Oh gosh, you shouldn't have mentioned it.

I could have told you. You should have texted me. You could have broken our rule. If it smells like mothballs, you cannot question that. I mean, I'm like, I haven't smelled mothballs in a long time, but it's so pungent and it's like, I feel like it's, I mean, it's really strong, like it's about to knock me over.

And she's like, it is moth balls. If it smells like moth balls, it is moth balls. I have moths eating my clothes in my closet. I'm like, that really happens? I thought that was something that happened in the 50s or something. Like I thought that was eradicated like polio. No, that's not how it works.

Is polio eradicated, by the way? No, and it's coming back in some places. It is, isn't it? You cannot vaccine against moths. The bubonic plague is in Madagascar. Yeah. That's bad. That's why I'm not going. I really feel for those people.

But I'm talking about my mom right now. And she's like, yeah, and she was like, so I put them in my closet and then the vent blew on them and then they all disappeared. I guess that's what happens when air blows on a mothballs, is that they disintegrate over time, like you would like one of those air freshener ball-y things. She says, but there's also a full basket of them

in the guest bedroom in the closet. And I'm like, oh, that's my room. And I go back there and I open the door and Christy's already back there and she's got this like haunted look on her face because she wasn't gonna say anything. And I'm like, do you smell that? It's mothballs.

She's like, do you smell that? It's moth balls, she's like yes. And I took the basket out and it will knock your socks off. And you're not even a moth. Could you imagine if you were a moth? Gosh, I would not eat clothes if they smelled like that. Yeah, right, that's the whole point. Yeah, and she graciously took them out and I'm just like, I cannot believe.

Did the smell leave with the balls? We burned a candle in there and she put those balls in her closet in her bedroom and it still was smell out of the place. It never went away but it went from like a 100% down to a 20%. You, as a general rule, I mean, I guess. It's my mom, I can talk openly with my mom.

Yeah, it is your mom but if it was me. I wasn't a jerk about it. I don't think I could, I don't think you should ask questions about smells unless you know it's something that's dead. It was so strong. Or like a pile of dookie that no one has found yet. Well, you know, that's also like. But you can't,

you can't live in a space that smells like moth balls. I'm sorry, it's just, it's too, there's gotta be a 2018 solution to moths. You can't live in a space. I cannot. I mean, they can, obviously. They don't have a problem withoths. You can't live in a space. I cannot. I mean they can obviously, they don't have a problem with it. They didn't think twice about it, but I just felt like I could offer a service.

I know this sounds bad. Mothball removal? Just somebody who can come in and give you their honest opinion about stuff. Oh gosh. That's not a job, that's called being Link. and give you their honest opinion about stuff. Oh gosh. It's just like. That's not a job, that's called being Link. But I think I would be good at that job.

Like I could go into, like talk about massages, I could go in, my dream job would be to go into spas and then review them and like consult with spas. Yeah, this is why I wanna do the Enneagram episode because you are the category of Enneagram that is, this is what, your personality profile is a reformer. A reformer.

I thought I was a one, a perfectionist. That's, a reformer is a one, same thing. I just want to. It's more specific than a perfectionist. Like to be able to go in and like give an honest opinion because I wanna help. It's like, you know, other people are gonna walk into your house and they're gonna get hit

with a wall of mothball smell, you know, or like maybe your clothes don't match or you know, maybe your pictures, you haven't looked at that picture in a while and it's been crooked for a couple of years. It's like someone just to come in with fresh eyes or fresh nose or fresh senses and just to like give their opinion.

What job is that? I wanna do that. I think it's just called pain in the butt. I know I sound. I think that's what it's called. I think there are people who, the cumulative effect of our conversation here, I'm afraid that the takeaway is,

because I'm self-conscious about this, is that you've moved out to Los Angeles and you've become too big for your britches. You come home and you tell your mama that it stinks and even the cookout burgers aren't good enough for you anymore. I'm really self-conscious about that and I'm afraid that that's what we've done

in this conversation. No, I think, I mean. Talk about peeing on the seat or what? We complain about everything. That's just being a dad, man. That's just getting old. When you get to a certain stage. I just really care.

I really care. And it's not just about my own comfort. To me it's not caring. I think it all, but it could be interpreted as this, like, I know what makes me comfortable. And the world needs to bend to me. Well, I will say that I told my wife, because I do think this is a component of this,

because if you make yourself, if you expect your, if you set yourself up so that your environment has to be made perfect in order for you to be happy, you will always be unhappy. But if you set yourself up to be someone who can be malleable and flexible in any environment, and instead of saying, I want that picture to be straight and say I'm gonna be okay with that picture

and not be straight. And I don't do that. For the record, I did not straighten any pictures in my mom's house. But I'm saying, but this is a principle for everybody, not just somebody who has more opinions than average. But what I told Jesse when we got there, knowing I was gonna be sharing a bathroom with him,

and again, this was marginally effective because I still complained about it, was like, I'm gonna not let this get me this year and I'm gonna be like, this is an opportunity for growth. Sharing a bathroom with teenage boys is an opportunity for growth. It's also an opportunity for entertainment when I can go on a podcast and talk about it.

Yeah and I think that is the main reason I think we're talking about it because it's funny for us to be. But I do think that I took a different approach to saying like, you know what, I'm gonna do the things that I wanna do, like I'm going to clean the seat, I'm going to take my toiletries in and out, whatever,

so that I can enjoy this as much as I can, but I'm not gonna just sit here and wish I was at a hotel. I'm not gonna do that because being here is being with family and putting myself through this is ultimately a good thing. But it is a little bit of a spoiled thing. I share a bathroom with my wife. Even just moving from sharing a bathroom with dudes

when I was a roommate to Tim and Greg, to sharing a roommate with Jessie, sharing a bathroom with Jessie, like there's a totally different world. I mean all of a sudden, there's somebody who's invested in the cleanliness of this bathroom and the smells being good and all these things and it's just like, oh, this is great.

And you become spoiled. When you've had 17 years of that, using a bathroom in a place where somebody cares about the environment and then you go to a place where it's just boys and I was a teenage boy at one point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a different approach. Let's twist this into being about how great our wives are

and how they've made us. Yeah, you saw where I was going with that. They made our lives amazing. They're not listening, that's the sad part. I just said fart, sad part. All right guys, that's it. Thanks for enduring our complaints and for believing the best about us

or whatever opinions you've gathered, I'm sure. You can let us know, hashtag Ear Biscuits. Don't let us know your opinions about us. Let us know your opinions about our work. All right, we'll talk at you next week.