Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 135: Our Deserted Island Survival Kit (Rabbit Hole) | Ear Biscuits Ep. 135

Episode Date: March 19, 2018

A certain Mythical crew member, sharp objects, and fire. These are only a few of R&L's necessities on making it out alive on a deserted island. Listen to Ear Biscuits at:  Apple Podcasts: applepodcasts.com/earbiscuits Spotify: spoti.fi/2oIaAwp Art19: art19.com/shows/ear-biscuits SoundCloud: @earbiscuits Follow This Is Mythical: Facebook: facebook.com/ThisIsMythical Instagram: instagram.com/Mythical Twitter: twitter.com/Mythical Other Mythical Channels: Good Mythical Morning: www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2 Good Mythical MORE: youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3 Rhett & Link: youtube.com/rhettandlink Credits: Hosted By: Rhett & Link Executive Producer: Stevie Wynne Levine Managing Producer: Jacob Moncrief Technical Director & Editor: Kiko Suura Graphics: Matthew Dwyer Set Design/Construction: Cassie Cobb Content Manager: Becca Canote Logo Design: Carra Sykes To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. Joining this, this, it's this week. Did you see how, at the round table of them writing. I know, man. I'm so, it's the same every time. The majority of the episodes,

we said joining us this week. Yeah but that was a lot of me. And then we had many conversations about changing it. A while ago. We know I'm a creature of habit, but I need to be a creature of the new habit. Which is, this week at the round table of dim lighting, we're gonna open an envelope.

Inside is something prompted by one of you that will lead to a conversation down a metaphorical rabbit hole. And you know what we may- Could be a literal rabbit hole this time. I don't know. And you know what? There's a second envelope too

that we also don't know what's in that. We might open one, we might open two. Just go with us on this journey once we open the envelope. But first, I would like to hear from you in how you're doing. Stop making that bass noise. Would you like to hear me make that noise more? It's like an odd grunt mixed with a subwoofer test.

You know, every once in a while, so my mom has this habit It's like an odd grunt mixed with like a subwoofer test. You know, every once in a while, so my mom has this habit where she will just be doing something that's not necessarily difficult, something that you would not categorize as difficult. Like maybe she's just like setting a plate on the table. Okay. And then she's like, kinda like she's making some noises

and I think she doesn't realize she's doing it but I've noticed it. It's just kinda making like voices of effort, even though what you're doing doesn't require effort. And so, I, Jessie pointed out that I have started doing that. It's just vocalizing effort. I'll just be in a room with her and sometimes I'm just like.

And she's like, what's wrong? I'm like, oh, nothing, did I do something? She said, you just went. Now I'm like, I guess it just runs in the family. It must. So I'm curious. Have you noticed this about me? Well, I thought you were doing it

to distract me from the question. I wasn't. Because you don't want to answer it. I'm happy to answer the question. I'm curious, because you've been 10 days being the mom and the dad in the house. I'm glad you rounded it up to 10. Although it was just eight.

I'm glad that you did that. If it seemed like a double digit. Well I didn't know if that didn't include travel days. Yep, it did, it included travel days. My wife. She went on an excursion. Went to. She went to find herself

and there was a question if she was gonna come back, right? The details that you have associated with the trip are interesting to me. They're all incorrect. Okay. She had a friend who was going to Africa for work and a good friend of hers and she was like, I'll go with you.

So she went to South Africa. Had a great time. She went to Cape Town? Yeah. And uh. There's no water there. That's just a side curiosity but the main curiosity. They're running out of water, yeah.

I have is, well, because she's back. How did I do? She did come back. She made it back, yeah. I have is, because she's back. How did I do? She did come back, right? She made it back, yeah. What do you mean she made it back? She decided to come back. She was always planning to come back.

Okay. But because, I mean, you know, South Africa, I don't really know what city, she was in Cape Town, I don't know what city's more dangerous than another, but it has a reputation for being a place that you just don't wanna, you gotta watch your back. She actually told me a story of,

she just went out by herself one day, and she was in a relatively, quote unquote, safe part of the city, but a place that wasn't necessarily known for violent crime, because there's a lot of violent crime and robbery and armed robbery there. But. Well that's not what I meant by she might not come back.

No, no, but seriously, like she actually, she, and she was kind of being dramatic, but she talked quite a bit about if I don't come back. Like we actually had a conversation about her funeral. Oh. Like she talked about details of her funeral, which was interesting and I was like, they're not gonna die, let's not talk about that,

just come back. But while she was there, she goes out one day by herself to the shopping area and. That's what it was called, she went to shopping area? A shopping area, like one of the roads, that was streets that's like known for its shopping. Okay. And there was a woman,

like a woman who kind of came up to her kind of aggressively asking for money and was kind of following her, but she kept following her. Like it was one of those things where you kind of say, I'm sorry, I can't help, but they continued to follow. And then she's getting a little bit freaked out and then they have these public safety officers. So I don't know exactly what this is,

but it seems like there are these people who are not exactly cops, not exactly civilians who are stationed all these places throughout the city that are kind of just there to make sure that everything is okay. They packing? And I didn't ask her that question because I was thinking that, do they have guns? But I don't know.

All I know is that a public safety officer kind of came up and told this woman who was aggressively coming after Jesse. Oh wow. To back off. And then she walks a little bit further and another public safety officer comes up to her and she had on a backpack, Jessie had on a backpack

and had on a very, very small necklace, like a necklace you could barely even see. And the public safety officer was like, you need to turn your backpack around so that the pack is in the front and you need to take your chain and put it in your bag. Because somebody will come up and rip the chain off your neck.

Whoa. And then she was like, okay, I'm not going out by myself again. So there was some cause for concern, even though I think I just kind of minimized it, but she made it back. Yeah, it's not good for your back to carry a backpack around like that.

Shouldn't go on the front. Really what you should do, is that the takeaway? If you're gonna do that, is you should wear a backpack on the front, but you should wear a dummy backpack on the back to balance it out. Yeah.

And people can take the dummy backpack, it's just full of books like from the dollar store. Breakaway necklaces perhaps? Yeah, exactly. Oh, I thought you were gonna say you wear the backpack forward and then you wear another shirt over it so it looks like you're like lumpy pregnant.

Okay. You know how some people get. So you're less of a target that way? Well that's true, maybe you're more of a target. I don't know, anyway, thanks for asking about me. That is what you were asking how I was doing so I'll get back to talking about me. Let's talk about me, how about that?

She had a harrowing experience on the streets of Cape Town. Let's talk about you. You had to raise your kids without her for eight days. Now that's danger. You know, it was pretty smooth. I am, I'm pretty hands off. And by that I mean things like,

well first of all the kids have quite a few activities that they are involved in. Uh huh. Things that they do during the week, some weeknights and there was some sporting events on the weekend and you know I took care of all that. Everybody got to where they needed to be on time and et cetera.

But Uber? Yeah, I just put them in a Lyft. Okay. No, I carried them, I drove them. And incidentally, did you know that our friend Michael, who has the little dog? Yeah. our friend Michael who has the little dog. Yeah.

He sent the dog to William's house in a lift. Did you know this? No. That's how he got the dog to William. Are you serious? He put the dog in a crate in a lift and sent it across town. When the lift shows up, you're explaining to the lift,

hey, I'm not going, I just want you to take this crate with a dog in it to this house. And the driver didn't speak good English, and so he couldn't really, there was no real confirmation that everything was going to be okay, but it was just like, I mean, I have a dog, I put the dog in the car and I typed in the address,

just take this dog to that address. It ended up working, the dog's just take this dog to that address. It ended up working. The dog's fine, the dog made it. I wouldn't do that with my child though. I'd probably do that with Barbara. That's crazy seeing it. Anyway. Why didn't he just ride,

because he didn't want to ride across town and then ride back. I think they were in a hurry to get out of town and it was like the last minute thing was to get the dog over. Anyway. By hands off I mean things like. There is an Uber for kids though, by the way. There's an app, is there not,

where you can put your kid in a car and it's a certified ride service. It's got like a bounce house in it or something? No, it's just a certified ride service for kids, for your children. The drivers are like, they passed like a second level of test to be like safe around children. I might just be thinking it needs to exist.

Well, I have sent Locke about two years ago when he was like 12, he and his friend, who was a year older than him, we sent them about five miles in an Uber one time. And some people right now are thinking that is a horrible parenting decision. But once you ride in a couple of Ubers. I don't think so.

It's nothing. I mean, and we like, we vetted the guy, you know, like when he showed up. You looked at his stars? Well, no, he wasn't just highly rated, but we had a conversation with him. And we talked about if we feel anything weird at all about this driver, we're not gonna do this.

We didn't feel anything weird. I'm pretty surprised you still did it. Really? Yeah. I don't know. Put a 12-year-old in an Uber? I'm not, I'm a pretty, like, I'm pretty hands off. Was Jesse part of that decision?

Yeah, yeah, Jesse was like integral to the decision. Yes. Wow. I mean, especially because it wasn't that far. It's not like, I mean, you couldn't just take your kid. I don't remember the circumstances, but I remember thinking it was a great idea and we should do it more often. So when I was taking care of my kids,

so Shepard is really, he's got a Switch, he's got a Nintendo Switch and he spends quite a bit of time on that. Now he has. Is that how you talk to him? He is limited. Is there a way to talk to him through the Switch? Unfortunately, no.

I limit him, well, I have parental control set up on the Switch and one of the things you can do with the parental controls app is you can set a limit. Yeah. So I set one hour. If he decides to do it on a day, he gets one hour of time. Yeah and I have that, I have like apps running on the kids' screens.

Like there's a shared family laptop and like the kids that have phones, you monitor all that in terms of like time and stuff like that so they do the homework and they're not just on screens. But here's the problem with it. It just gets to an hour and it sends him a warning and it says you have reached your limit

for the day or whatever. So for Shepard, translation is, it doesn't shut off after that, it'll keep going. No, you can keep playing. So the translation is, good job Shepard, achievement unlocked. Right, and so I look at the app and it says, your child went two hours and 40 minutes

over his one hour limit today. I'm like, well what the crap is the limit for? You're just gonna give Shepard a warning and that's it? No, he's gotta be, but I did tell him, I was like, Shepard, by the end of, he did this for a few days in a row and eventually I said, Shepard, if you go over the limit, if I get the alert that you went over the limit, then you can't play the next day.

Did he stick with it after that? Well we kinda came up with that plan like the day before she came back. Oh. It took me a while to realize what was happening. You discuss the plan, but then you put him and his Switch into an Uber, and then they, you know, he looked up from the Switch, he was in Tijuana.

I shouldn't have done that. But interestingly, I told him, I said, Shepard, you've got to get off screens. You've got to do something other than be on screens. You gotta stop playing Zelda, that's his game. With his life. He's playing Zelda. And so, I tell him that and then 30 minutes later, I come into the kitchen and we have an iMac

that's kind of off to the side of the kitchen and he's watching YouTube videos about Zelda. Like how to play Zelda. And I bet you he says what my kids say, which is, well I'm not playing, so it doesn't count. I was like, well it's still a screen. But the thing is, Lincoln will, I'll tell Lincoln, well you know,

I don't want you to be on screen so much, son. I don't want you to play whatever game you're playing. I know the games, but it's not worth mentioning at this point. And he's like, well, I don't want you to be on screens. He's like, well, I'm not. I'm like, what are you doing right now? He's like, well, I'm on Amazon.

I'm just kinda looking at some stuff. But that's a screen. He's like, but I'm not playing a game on it. Well, I'm shopping, Dad. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just. I'm putting together my wish list. Right, right. That's what Shepard does.

And that's different. It's not different. Well, but I will say. It is different in his experience. There is a distinct difference and I think that studies show this. You know, that's as authoritative as we get on the show. I think studies have shown this.

At least my kids have told me studies have shown this. Studies. Playing games is a significantly different experience on your brain than just watching television or movies. So like sitting down and binge watching something, your brain goes into a very, like you're not making any judgments, you're not connecting any dots,

you're basically just kinda taking in this story versus a game that involves strategy. So I kinda go back to that sometimes when I look at how long he's been in this game, but I think I spent a lot of time playing the original Zelda. Like I would sit up there in the extra room, we called it. I never did it.

I mean, even with my namesake in the game, I never once played the game. Yeah, all you had to do was get Nintendo Power and you didn't have to play, you just. It just didn't seem exciting to me. We had Nintendo Power, they have YouTube to tell them exactly how to beat the specifics of the game. Screens is a problem.

You know, I'll say quickly, I wanted to spend some time with Lincoln. I was like, all right, we're gonna do something today. You're not gonna stay here and stay on screens just because it's Saturday morning. So I took him and a friend of his to a place where we played VR video games. That's what we ended up doing.

We're not gonna stay here inside and to play video games and watch TV. We're gonna go to a facility where we have to pay to be on a screen, okay son? Yeah, we did that and it was actually, and I took Lily too, so it was the four of us all with like the VR headsets on. Super cool.

But playing in the same world and it was, it was a zombie shooter game where it's like you're in the desert of Arizona, it's called Arizona something. Arizona desert. Arizona something. You can only move under this tent

but then there's like zombies coming from every which-a-way. And let me tell you. It was fun. After it took 20 minutes for us to figure out how to actually start playing the game, I had a visceral fear response a number of times. To the zombies? Yeah, I actually felt like what I'm doing right now

is traumatic, like shooting zombies. Like it was scary because they would crawl up. Were your kids scared? They would crawl, no. That's what's disturbing is that they weren't scared but I was scared. They would crawl up to your feet when you weren't looking. If you're looking one way,

and you'd literally turn around and look down and there'd be a zombie clawing at your ankles. Like I would jump. And then the three of them would see me jumping and cowering and. There's dad. He's gonna be a great leader in the apocalypse. I picked up, you could pick up a tennis ball

and throw it at him, he wouldn't do anything. You were the tennis ball boy? Wouldn't do anything. Yeah I'm interested in doing that. Very intense. Speaking of intense, I have every intention or every reason to believe that going down this rabbit hole is going to be incredibly intense.

Is that a good segue? Oh, that was good, that was good. And now you're gonna say but first. But first. Ear Biscuits is supported by Mattress Firm. Now we've been talking to you about how choosing the right mattress and all the stuff that goes along with it is such an important decision for your quality of life.

And for me, it extends to lots of people. I sleep with my wife. I also sleep with our dog. Jade has empowered me and Christy to make the right decision about our bedding. And then you know what? This past week, man, I've got sickness go through the house, like vomiting sickness, kids coming up in the middle

of the night wanting to get into bed with us. I'm like, you can't get into bed because you're vomiting. Sometimes I get out and they get into bed, there's like a shuffle. So all of a sudden, all of these decisions that I'm making that I thought were just for me and my wonderful spouse, the two of us, extend to my whole family because they're all trying to glom into my bed somehow.

It's important. You want it to be a welcoming place. Want it to work for everybody. So not only is it extremely important to make the best mattress and bedding decision for yourself, but also for everybody else who might be in your bed. That sounded, you know how I meant it. I know exactly what you mean, Link,

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to learn how your sleeping could be monumentally improved. Now on with the biscuit. I'm grabbing the top envelope. I only want to pretend as if there is one envelope. I see that there's another one, but I don't want it to be in the back of our heads that we're gonna go to the second envelope, unless the rabbit hole reaches a dead end.

Well, not a dead end, a conclusion. A conclusion? I don't want it to seem like a defeat if we open the second envelope. I don't want it to seem like a defeat if we open the second envelope. I don't want it to seem like, oh we gotta prove to ourselves we can talk one thing into the ground. Through the ground. Here it is, the one envelope.

Mark M, I'm not gonna say his last name because I don't know what he's about to say or ask. And it may be incriminating. If you guys were stuck on an island and could only bring three items a piece and one Mythical crew member, who and what would you bring and how long do you think you'd last?

Now this has gotta be a team, I mean this is like a freaking riddle here. What three things do you bring? This is not a, okay and this is Mark Martinez. Mark, okay, all right, we're up to the challenge, we can figure this out. The Mythical Crew member thing is kinda tough. This is getting a little dicey.

You know what, we'll try to answer that too. Now are we saying that. Stuck on an island. Are we saying that this is one Mythical crew member between the two of us or we each get one? Well we could bring three items a piece and one Mythical crew member between the two of us. Oh okay.

So we can bring six things. You know I think. So we can bring six things. You know, I think. Well, yeah, I mean, you gotta. This is tough. You gotta have some, I'm assuming this island, you know, it's just like, it's just, I don't know what the terrain is.

I don't know if it's jungle, I don't know if it's desert, I don't know if it's populated. That would make know if it's jungle, I don't know if it's desert, I don't know if it's populated. That would make a, but the implication is there ain't nobody there. Let's just assume that it is your typical. If we were stuck on Kauai, Like south. I wouldn't have to, I'd probably bring like some toothpaste.

I think the implication is this is an island where there are no people other than you. He didn't say deserted, but let's just assume that. Stuck on an island. I mean, by your definition, we are currently stuck on an island. You know what I'm saying? Every continent is ultimately an island, right?

So no. Oh, that's true. So this is like, there's nobody there except the person that we're going to bring and the items that we're bringing with us. Right. Oh gosh, well. At first I'm thinking something really sharp.

An ax. But then. You gotta have an ax. You gotta have like, yeah you gotta have a sharp piece of metal and it might as well be an ax if you're going that far. Again, I'm not, as much as I would like people to think that I am. I'm not gonna do any blacksmith work.

I am not an expert. I only like to pretend that I am. In survival or? I like the idea of being ready for the apocalypse, but I'm actually not ready for it. You know what I mean? But I don't know if a knife or an ax is a better choice, but I have to assume that you can do most things

with an ax that you can do with a knife, but there's a lot of things you can't do with a knife that you can do most things with an ax that you can do with a knife, but there's a lot of things you can't do with a knife that you can do with an ax. Does that, you think that is logical? And we have to think about this together, like if I bring an ax, you don't have to bring an ax. Or should I bring an ax and you bring a knife? And then we got all bases covered.

Because you wanna like cut open like the pigs that we're gonna kill? Right. You know, and like, but I gotta be. I'm glad to hear the island has pigs. Well, every island's got pigs. When was the last time somebody crash landed on an island and there wasn't like a weird boar situation?

Yeah, well. Some sort of animal that we can get our teeth around. I recently rewatched Cast Away with my family because we were going on this family movie, Tom Hanks Bender. Somehow we ended up watching Sully and then the next weekend I think we watched, minus a few key scenes,

we watched Forrest Gump as a family. Can you describe the scenes that you skipped? And nope, and then, we watched something, we watched A League of Their Own, which has Tom Hanks. How much time? And then, not all in one night. What was the span, how many days?

This is like a bunch of Saturdays in a row. Saturday night, Friday night. And you specifically were like, we're gonna go deep into the Tom Hanks universe? Well, what you'll find if you start to think about it, just look at my list. It's all great family movies. It's great stuff.

And then we watched Castaway, which was, that was a good one. And the kids start saying things like, oh now, there's so many memes that make sense now. We talked about this. That's what Locke said after Forrest Gump, man. Yeah, and Lily said the same thing, because she speaks in meme now.

Right, that's the only way they can communicate. But anyway, and I know that you've been rewatching Lost with your family, so based on these two But anyway, and I know that you've been rewatching Lost with your family, so based on these two entertainment experiences alone, we should have better answers. If we're now, we've set an ax and a knife, so now we have four things to go.

I guess a volleyball? Now Tom. For fun? Tom Hanks. Or for companionship? Because he started, because you talk about the whole starting a fire situation. Do you honestly think we could start fire using friction? Well no, we could start it with the butane lighter that would be the third item that we bring.

And I mean, can you get, does like a huge freaking butane refill count as part of the item? I think what we gotta do is we gotta get a, now first of all, I do think that while we do have a fire with the butane lighter, we also need to be learning how to start a friction fire. But I think you gotta approach this in two different ways.

Right. One side of the problem is this in two different ways. Right. One side of the problem is we have a fire that never stops. You know, like you've heard about this. Oh, like a pilot light? Well, I seem to remember that in some cultures that I've read about in the past, that it was like someone's job to always have the fire going.

Like you always have a fire going. It's not that hard to start a fire, is it? Like, oh my gosh, this thing has to be an internal flame. Well, no, you want the fire burning at night as a signal because we don't wanna be there forever. And you want it burning during the day, so you just don't want it to get too cold. But then we're teaching each other,

not teaching each other, but we're trying out, we're trying based on everything we've seen in movies to learn how to do the friction fire. So eventually the butane lighter is just a backup for rainy days. Could we have an internet connection? That like is the new version. Like a hotspot is the fourth item?

Like we had access to the internet but we didn't have any, but somehow, this is almost like a black mirror meets lost situation where we couldn't gain rescue via the internet, but we could access it just like any normal person. I think that would be highly frustrating. No, because you gotta bring a Wi-Fi. First of all, as realistic as this situation is.

Right. That's all, I think you're breaking, I think you're breaking the question apart. Because we can't have the internet. We can't have a functioning internet, because now you're talking about we got electricity. I was just trying to hack the system. But yeah.

So we got two knives and we got, I think maybe we don't have something to start a fire. Maybe we just, maybe, but if we don't get a fire started in the first month, we could die. First week probably. Water filter. Water filter. Like something micron, whatever the number is

that you need. Remember that time that we went on a camping trip with roommate Tim. And he brought a water filter. And Tim is the college roommate of ours that he's the reason why the rat lived in the couch, he's the one that we say that he was always messy. We just give him such a hard time

and we believe that he deserves it. He's the guy who, he was a chem major. And when we went hiking, we went to Linville Gorge one time and he insisted on wearing his steel-toed boots. And then he got so much chafing and blisters from these boots that he literally started hiking in socks. Yeah. You remember socks. Yeah.

You remember that? Yeah. What a nut. Because I think at the point where the, it wasn't like at the heel or anything, it was at the point where the steel toe stopped and it became regular leather. Something about that juncture in the shoe

got very painful for him. And he just kept getting further and further behind. We were stopping to wait for him and then all of a sudden we realized he's holding his boots, he's hiking in socks. Yeah. And then we're like mumbling to ourselves, it's like don't say anything to him, just he's upset. You don't wanna have somebody that's that down,

it's like having somebody with like a broken hip hiking with you. So you're saying that Tim, we're not bringing Tim. He's not a Mythical Crew member. No, I haven't even gotten to what I remembered, which was he's a chem major, and like he said, another time that we went camping, we get to our first campsite, and all of a sudden

he breaks out all this tubing, you remember this? Yeah, yeah. He breaks out all this tubing, we're like, Tim, what? We have plenty of water. What is this tubing, what are you making? Yeah, yeah. He breaks out of this tubing and we're like, Tim, what? We have plenty of water. What is this tubing? What are you making? Yeah, the car is right there. I'm making a water filter.

It was, it had charcoal in it. Yeah, it was. It was a whole filtration system that he like built from scratch. And he got the water from the creek and we drank it. I don't recall personally drinking his water. I drank it, I trusted him. You trusted him?

He was a chem major, he was not a chemist. He was studying it. He had a water filter, it's not that advanced. It's not that. He had a lot to say about it. He had a lot to say about technology. Yeah but he was also hiking in socks. I mean at some point.

Yeah I'd forgotten about that. But I'm thinking about the initial, because obviously we need to. You talking like a life straw? We need to figure out a way to have a sustainable water source, we need to find fresh water, we need to use the fire that we're gonna learn how to start with just friction to sanitize the water,

but there's a learning curve to all that. You know, so we gotta have, to me, it's less about thinking about all the things that are gonna work long term, because people might be like, guys, why are you using butane lighters and water filters? It's because we gotta make it six to eight weeks just to get our bearings to develop a civilization.

I'll tell you something else you need. And I think I learned this from the time I used to spend with Bear Grylls on television. Oh, on television, yeah. You gotta keep spirits up. You've gotta actually believe you're gonna make it. That. Does this translate into who we would bring with us?

I don't know yet. Or an item. I'm putting out there that this is the most overlooked and possibly the most important thing is just a positive outlook, a confident assertion of survival that very quickly I think means we need some form of entertainment.

You gotta have something besides tic-tac-toe and the sandwiched toe. Like a bocce ball set? Like a bocce ball set. Because here's the analogy. I was telling somebody this yesterday. You know we were hanging out with friends and our kids were there, our youngest kids, Lando and Shepard were there,

and we sent them outside so that we could have adult time and have adult conversation without them coming in again. And then, this was before you broke, let Shepard get on his Nintendo Switch. You did a good job for a couple hours there without letting him have it. Him and Lando were out there fighting over the dog that took the Uber, by the way.

Right. And then after they got tired of the dog, they were given a little trampoline. Yeah. And then they started fighting over who was gonna be on the trampoline because there wasn't enough room for both of them at the same time.

And then all of a sudden Lando comes in with a piece of the trampoline that they had sprung off of it so they sprouted a big hole in the trampoline because one side went boing and when we were leaving later, it turns out that we were trying to put the trampoline back together because you wanna leave everything better than you found it. We couldn't find this other piece and I was like,

you know what, it's really dark, I'm sure in daylight, I was talking to Jayden, I was like, I'm sure you'll find it. In other words, I'm not gonna stay here in the dark to help you look for it. It was a small, I never saw it. It was like a little plastic bracket that held. No, but it was a trampoline, like an exercise trampoline? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it was fancier than that

and it had like little plastic brackets. But I said, basically I said, I'm leaving, I'm not helping you look for this in the dark, but I'm sure you'll find it tomorrow in the light. But I said, you know what the key is? The key is believing that you will find it. Lots of times when you're looking for something, even if you got like a huge search party,

and I'm not trying to be depressing, let's not talk about a missing child, let's just talk about like a needle in a haystack, almost literally. And if you got all your friends coming over just talk about like a needle in a haystack, almost literally. And if you got all your friends coming over, I gotta find this needle in this haystack. There's usually one person in the back of their mind that's like, I'm picturing the moment

when I do find this needle. I hold it up and I'm like, I'm not gonna be triumphant. I'm just gonna be like, hey guys, check out what I found. Everybody comes over and they all look and they can't believe it. He's holding the needle that was hidden in the haystack. And he's thinking in his mind, when everybody comes over I'm just gonna be like, nah, shallot, and then everybody's gonna be like,

he found the needle in the hay, he found the needle! Come over, he found the needle! And projecting yourself into that situation as the hero that found the needle! And projecting yourself into that situation as the hero that found the needle, all you need is one person in a group who believes that they can manifest that situation. But in our situation, what are we believing? You'll find the hero.

What do we believe? I mean, you'll find the needle. What are we believing? And the hero if you're not him. Are we believing that we'll be rescued? We're believing that we will survive. But how does this translate into an item? If you're confused by my speech, it's not gonna work when we're out on the island,

I'm giving it to you again. Because I'll be like, remember on the podcast when I talked about the needle in the haystack? All we have to do is believe that we will survive. The analogy with the needle is that we will not die. But I agree in bringing a can-do attitude, but that doesn't count as one of our items. We need an item that at our lowest point.

Gives us a can-do attitude? A bocce ball set's not a bad idea, but it's kinda stupid, so let's get smarter than that. We can create a bocce ball set out of the correct size rocks. We can do that. Not really. I think that we've got, I think.

One of the six items needs to be something that, it's a hope giver. It needs to be, like, again, for Tom Hanks, it was the volleyball, it was Wilson. Well I think with the knife, we could carve things and you've got art, you know what I'm saying? I'm trying to think of ways to double down

on some of the items. We could do tree art, we could become experts in like carving weird things into trees and that would be our entertainment. We could actually create little, we could do, I don't know who our third person's gonna be, we gotta answer that question in a second, but the three of us, we like do voices.

We have a whole forest. What we could do is have a forest of characters. You carve the different characters and then we create our own entertainment system that's just us voicing different trees. An entertainment system. We call it the entertainment system and it's just a section of the forest.

It's just a. See I've answered you. A sculpture garden. And we can create a whole play that is about, you can do it, you can find the needle. It could be about finding a needle in a haystack. It could be about being rescued. It could be about starting a sustainable civilization.

Right. That's all in our imagination and with the ax and the knife, I mean the more I think about it, we might need like a second ax. You know what I'm saying? We could call it knife-flix. Knife-flix.

Yeah, it's like we're watching the stuff we've made with our knives. Yeah. We had knife flicks and chill. So we, well, no, see. What? We gotta talk about that third person. Let's come back to the other two items

because I think this is, we're gonna get into some, this could get a little weird here in a second. Oh, is that right? Yeah, right. Because you have to ask yourself the question, is the point of the third person just for us to survive, or do we need to populate the island?

What? I mean, I'm just saying that is a legitimate question. If we can just agree right now that this is not about populating the island. No Rhett, let's make it about populating the island. Let's choose an employee. Let's freaking, what is wrong with you?

I'm just throwing everything out there just so we can make the best choice. This is not, first of all, we would never talk about this just if we weren't being recorded, but I wanna remind you that we are. This is being distributed. Hold on, this is one of the episodes that's going on the internet?

This isn't for the private collection? Even you just bringing that up for comedic effect is problematic. I thought that one out of four episodes was for the private collection. Sorry, I forget this. Okay, so we're not gonna populate the island. I'm just, I'm a-

Because you're 40 years old, and you're an old fart. Hold on, we both have vasectomies. I mean, what are we even thinking? We'd have to get, we'd have to- And that's your reason that we're moving on? We'd have to bring a doctor, who's the third person

who can reverse our vasectomies. He has to have the tools that he needs to reverse the vasectomies. Why's it gotta be a he? Well it's gotta be a she because then we have to impregnate the doctor. I know! We have to, you're exactly right. We need a female doctor.

Right, who works for us. What? The medic. I'm sorry. Listen, I'm just trying to be practical. Gosh, you're the one who made it awkward. It's not Mars. We're not starting a civilization.

We're just coasting the rest of our lives. This is a theater. And we're bringing along somebody who's gonna help us survive. Okay, then it's. And boost morale. Okay, all right. You know what, any Mythical employee

would be a great addition to our squad. But we have to pick one. And I think we gotta go with somebody who not only boosts morale, but is more capable than we are. I mean, I think we're in like Morgan territory honestly. You know what I'm saying? I think, I think, I mean he's not gonna die anytime soon.

He can solve a lot of different problems. He's quiet too. He's not annoying at all. Last thing we need is another talker. Yeah he's not annoying. He's just a guy that while we're sitting around carving the entertainment system. He's thinking. He's not annoying, he's just a guy that while we're sitting around carving the entertainment system. He's thinking.

He's thinking. He's coming up with things, you know what I'm saying? I think Morgan is. The good thing about Morgan is, you know. No, he cannot get pregnant. He, I know that. He gently redirects me constantly, you know? Especially when it comes to safety.

Like he's got a way about himself that like. And he doesn't complain. Cause I mean you guys know that I can't have, I'm not allowed to use a knife on Good Mythical Morning. But Morgan is always, you'd think that Chase would be the one who was constantly nervous. He's only nervous when I have darts. Like Morgan, before we start rolling on an episode,

he'll come up if there's anything that I could really hurt myself with and he always has a way to just kind of gently bring me to just kind of gently bring me to a realization of what's best for you. What's best for me. Yeah, and I'm glad he's there so I don't have to Morgan is my father figure.

In a more direct way. He can be both of our dad. He could be a dad sometimes. What is Morgan, that's what Morgan is to me. What is Morgan to you? He's the guy that says things to you so I don't have to. Yeah. Right, he's a mediator.

No okay, so we know what would be great about Morgan. He's got a can-do attitude and he does. He has a can-do attitude and then he does. Now Jordan, a newer Mythical crew member. Yeah, he's fresher. He could be Cotton Candy Randy some days. And Cotton Candy Randy is, we've already established, is one of my favorite people.

So it's two guys in one. Yeah, and he also can be sexy fireman. He did that one time. Right. And I'm sure he can probably invent new characters too. I don't know how capable he is. He's like from Orange County. He probably is not good with an ax.

He's good with flip flops, I bet. Yep, right. But he's definitely, in terms of the morale boosting, I think we can handle that. You don't think we need Cotton Candy Randy? No, he doesn't like me. Yeah, he likes me. Right. He likes me more.

It was kind of a selfish choice on your part. Okay, that could be something else. So Morgan's coming, he's got a crate full of good stuff because he can bring whatever he wants. Oh really, no, no. No, he can't bring what he wants. So right now we've got a knife and an ax. You may think that's excessive

in the whole metal tool category. Do we need like a fishing rod? Or a net? Net. A net. If we got a knife and an ax, a butane lighter, a water filter, and a net. What is that? Oh we're down to five? That's five. I mean only if you're on board water filter, and a net. What is that?

Oh we're down to five? That's five. I mean only if you're on board with this, with a net. Net's a good idea because a fish. And we can catch people as well. Well you can catch all kinds of things with a net. So there's people swimming by the island? If there's like a, I don't know,

if there's the others, you know, speaking of lost. But let's just assume there are other people. You can also use a net as like a structure system for the tarp that we'll need to put over top of, or forget the tarp, because we only have one more thing, we're just gonna put fronds, we're gonna put fronds over the net. And that's gonna be our idea for making shelter at first

until we realize that we can't fish with the net when it's our hut. And I've got what I think is the best possible item for the sixth item. Can I guess what it is by asking yes or no questions? I think I just need to tell you. Is it a packaged product? It's a yacht.

Oh, it's a yacht. Well that kind of spoiled my gamemanship there. See with this type of attitude, our morale is gonna sink real quick. No! I instigate a game and you're like, well let's, spoiler alert, it's a yacht. It's a yacht.

I mean I could have said that first. Yacht, yacht. the gas guzzler. How much gas? We only have. It's a yacht full of gas. Ooh, that's a quandary right there. It's a yacht full. So a yacht that we never wanna use.

No, it's a yacht we leave the island with. We don't even have to have this mental exercise because we just take our yacht and go back to civilization. Do we have enough gas to get there? Yeah. Yeah, so I mean I think we just solved it. I think we did. It's kind of an easy question.

Morgan's there, he can probably drive a boat. Drive a boat. We're gonna give him special training. We're gonna get him on, what is it, lynda.com yacht training series, video series. You wanna go to the second envelope. I can tell. You do?

I can tell. When you brought up the yacht, you were like, I'm done with this question. Mark, thanks for that. Thanks for helping us think through it. There's survivalists out there who have gouged their eyes out listening to that conversation. Yeah, if you know anything about surviving,

let us know how good our first five choices were. Yeah, that's what I wanna know. Because I have no idea. This is from Myra. What is it about certain foods that makes them only fitting for certain times of day? Is there some bodily circadian rhythm related function happening that makes us only want pizza

for dinner and not breakfast? This is a great question. I have thought about it. Well first of all, I've had, you have thought about it? I have asked myself it. Well, first of all, I've had, you have thought about it? I have asked myself the question before, why is it that we limit ourselves to these, these items for breakfast? Well, maybe this isn't the right way to do it,

but instinctively, I just wanna point out the outliers that like I've eaten cold pizza for a late breakfast. So brunch maybe doesn't count. But like a bonafide, I'm getting up at my normal time in my normal routine and I'm gonna eat a slice of pizza, like hot pizza, like order fresh out of the bag type of thing, that does sound weird. But whenever a family,

whenever we're like, as a family, we're like, all right, what do you guys wanna do before we watch another Tom Hanks movie? What do you wanna eat for dinner? And if anyone says, breakfast for dinner, immediate eruption in celebration. What, breakfast for dinner, woo! It's like a gleeful subversion of all societal expectations

rolled up into the perfect meal. And it's a beautiful thing to subvert dinner with breakfast but subverting breakfast with dinner is just nasty. Right. So I think there may be a clue in this. Well, I think maybe we can zero in a little bit. What is it about eggs? Let's just talk eggs.

Okay. How did eggs become associated with being eaten in the morning? The rooster. The rooster crows. Right, so is it. And the hen lays. Is it the fact that,

isn't it true that chickens, hens lay eggs every day? Like they lay an egg every day? I believe so, roughly. Which is just a fascinating thing that they. As often as you take a dookie. Yeah, but think about, yeah, exactly. A chicken dookies out an egg. A freaking egg that has a shell.

And a lot of dookie too, by the way. Yeah, but in addition to the dookie, they had these little eggs that we can eat. It's a manufacturing center for eggs. Now, you can leave, is it because you go out in the morning, you go to the chicken coop, and you've got food for that day, like, you might as well just eat it now, and so we just begin to associate it as a culture

with eating it in the morning? Yeah, because I'm gonna throw it into before refrigeration. So we're talking the cultural norm of eggs. But you can leave an egg out all day, easy. You can, I mean you can leave it. But not weeks or whatever. Days.

You can store them up. You can leave it, a hen can lay only one egg in a day and will have some days when it does not lay an egg at all. Right, so it's not like clockwork every single day, but they can lay an egg every day. It is possible. Put it in Jacob's laptop. I was in this, so I'm, that's what I thought.

I think it has some, I think eggs. Maybe we should have brought Jacob with his laptop to the island. I'm sorry, you're sitting here the whole time and we didn't even consider taking you. That's one item in one portion. Man, that had to the island. I'm sorry, you're sitting here the whole time and we didn't even consider taking you. That's one item in one portion. Man, that had to have hurt. Can you drive a boat?

I think Morgan's the better choice. Yeah, you agree with Morgan. I would take Morgan. Okay, okay. And you're glad we're not dragging you to the island. Because by the way, we freaking drug Morgan to the island. The whole time Morgan's like, "'Guys, I could've been back living my life,

but you chose me to exile on this island. He would hate us. You wanna go back to the other question? I'm sorry, Jacob. I want you to come to the island. Because I think we're onto something here. I do too, go ahead. And the question is, are eggs, if we're right,

now first of all, cultural norms, that's what I'm getting at. Culturally, people eat different things in different places. When I was in Eastern Europe, I remember that they ate a lot of salamis. Breakfast would often be like what we would call a charcuterie plate. You know what I'm saying?

So like assorted cheeses and meats. And it isn't that we don't eat meat and cheese for breakfast, we do, but like the way that it was presented was very much like this is new, this isn't the way that we think about breakfast. But in other cultures. They also serve that as dessert instead of dessert, like a charcuterie plate.

Yeah, cheese can be part of dessert. Which is weird to me too. But is it the case that everywhere on Earth, eggs are a part of the breakfast meal? Because then it would hold what we just talked about. If it's true that the reason that eggs are associated with breakfast is because people go outside and the eggs are there and they're fresh

and they just came out of the hen and then you go and you eat them, then that should be true throughout the world. Why wouldn't that apply just as much to dinner though? It's like the last meal, you know? Because you go out there and see if it laid an egg. It laid an egg. When I went to Granny Caps' house,

which is my ex-stepdad's mom, every other Sunday, when he was still married to my mom, we'd go to his mama's house for Sunday fried chicken. Well, first of all, occasionally the fried chicken would be one of her chickens that she had. Of course. Lopped the head off of and fried. But most of the time, store bought.

Store bought chicken, but I would go out into her chicken coop after lunch every other Sunday and get the eggs for her. That's an experience I had. for her, that's an experience I had. And what I'm saying is it was after lunch. It was after lunch. And she didn't go. But you could have gone in the morning.

Well I wasn't there. Well okay. Maybe she left them for me as a treat for me to find. Let's approach this from a different way. So here in the US, there's a few things that we consider normal, right? If you get a salad, you have the salad before your meal. And then you have your main course,

and then you have a dessert. Now, dessert, as we've actually talked about on the show before on GMM, scientifically, one of the reasons that you always feel like you have a little bit of room for dessert is your stomach actually responds differently to sugars and fats. So sometimes you're eating a meal that's got a lot of fats

in it, a lot of animal protein, cheese, that kind of thing, and you kind of get to a place where you're like, I can't eat another bite of this burger. I can't eat another bite of this burger. I can't eat another bite of this cheesy, fatty thing that I'm eating as my main course. And then somebody breaks out the chocolate pie, and you're like, oh, I got room for that. And I'm gonna open up my dessert stomach.

And you literally, scientifically, do have a dessert stomach. It's not a second stomach. But when sugar hits your stomach, it actually causes it to expand a little bit. So it actually makes sense that you follow up fats with sugars. Now, salads, we start with salads, but that is not a cultural, that's a cultural norm here,

but that's not a cultural norm elsewhere. I remember my sister-in-law who married Chris, who his dad is Palestinian, his mom is Lebanese, and they were introduced to a totally different cuisine, like Ashley was through this. And they were going to these meals and they were all eating a salad after their meal. Really?

Yeah, and I don't know if that was just something that was, again, I don't know if that was something that was isolated to them, but the sugar thing makes sense, but I think that our choices for when we eat things, I think a lot of it may just be completely determined by all these different factors, and if you just like raised a kid up and said, eggs are going to be associated with the evening,

and then really hearty meals are gonna be associated with the very beginning of the day. I'm just throwing out there. Do you think that would backfire? Do you think that trying to give somebody a really hearty, fatty, meaty meal at the beginning of the day is like, their body's not ready for it,

so you gotta go with something a little bit lighter? Like cereal, because what you- Well, it could be debilitating. You know, I think you start to feel like you can afford to indulge in something that's like a gravy-based meal at the end of your day when afterward, you're just gonna pull the lever on your recliner as opposed to you're gonna pull the knob on your door

and encounter life. Yeah, you gotta go do your job. It can't be something that requires too much from your body. Yeah, I remember the hardest I ever worked physically was I wrote about this in the book of mythicality like farming and burning tobacco that one summer for my Nana's brothers. Yeah.

And my aunt Frances made the, she made the meanest biscuits, man. And all this stuff. And so we go back to her house for lunch every day and they would have the heaviest lunch. I'm talking like fried burgers and biscuits and gravy and all types of stuff like that, just heavy stuff. And after a week or two of that, I just couldn't,

I learned that I couldn't handle it. Like I would eat it and then I would fall asleep because he would watch, Uncle Ross would watch the, we'd eat and then he'd watch the news and the weather. You know a farmer. Middle of the day news. Yep, farmer always watching the news, always watching the weather.

And I would like conk out on the floor and then it would, they'd have to scrape me up like scraping gum off of a, off the pavement. It was horrible. So you learn your lesson. So then, you know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day is what they say, right? You gotta, but just having a little sugary cereal thing

is not gonna cut it. I try not to let my kids have that. So I think, but why is one, there's a middle ground, right? Why if you put, this is a fascinating question because why if I put pork sausage on a biscuit, I call that breakfast, but if I put beef patty on a piece of bread, that's lunch. And Carl's Jr., they try to slip in their burgers

into breakfast on their biscuits or sandwiches. They slip in the burgers? Yes. If you go to Carl's Jr. or Hardee's, they'll have all the typical breakfast stuff and then you could add a burger patty to any of it. And some of it, they have pictures on the breakfast menu. Like they are really throwing everything at it.

That's crazy to me. When you isolate it down to something as simple as whether or not it's ground pork with spices versus ground beef without spices, why is there a point around 10, 30, 11 a.m. where all of a sudden you can make this transition? It doesn't make any sense. I think that there are some real contributing

scientific cultural things that like contributed to it. But at this point, it's arbitrary. There's no difference between the way pork tastes at 1030 or the way it tastes at 11 o'clock. When do they start to stop serving breakfast at McDonald's? Well, they serve it all day now, right? They serve it all day because- Traditionally, when do they stop?

Because now it's a treat. 10 o'clock? People got really excited about it. And again, I think breakfast can, I think it's 11, maybe 10.30, but breakfast can push on and everyone's gonna celebrate it. Breakfast can go anywhere. But bringing that, like eating lasagna for breakfast. Yeah, that sounds crazy.

They don't even do that in Italy, do they? I don't think they eat lasagna in Italy. I think we do, that's a. Well that's a shame. Probably in a completely American. Yeah, probably is. Chicken lo mein for breakfast. Dumplings.

Like, when we went to New York, Stevie was all excited about taking us to that. The dumpling place. The dumpling place for breakfast, right? And I loved it because. I had a hard time. I can. Because I'm just, it's just an association.

Your body knows somehow. I wish I could explain it. Mira? The funny thing is I feel like I could just wake up and eat a giant burger. And the only reason I don't is because I don't wanna be judged. But if it was just me, if it was me,

me and you and Morgan on an island, and the one thing we brought was a burger machine, that was the sixth thing, it wasn't a yacht, it was just a machine that every time you opened it, there was a new burger, that would be cool first of all. But second of all, I would open that machine up every morning, you probably would too because it would have a burger in it. It would be better than anything we could find and kill.

That doesn't help us then in getting to this answer. But the only reason I don't order dinner for breakfast is because A, it's not served often, and B, I feel like I'm gonna be judged. But I think if you look at cultural norms across cultures, Mira, you'll find that it varies so much that it has to lead us to conclude that it's all just, just regional habits.

Nothing more, nothing less. I'm sure if we. And I think we can trace those regional habits to like, okay, it might be when the chickens lay their eggs or when you're expected to do certain things in different places, but it's all a construct. Of course, you could also just. That's my answer.

You could also just Google this question and you'd probably get a more educated answer, but it wouldn't be as fun. That wouldn't be fun, right? The point is not to know, the point is to. Act like you know. To just have a conjecturation about it. Yeah, just have a conversation.

Don't worry about facts. We went through two of them, but I would kill for some pancakes at this point. Not too late. It's about dinner time for us. I'm gonna leave here and I'm gonna eat something. Pancakes, huh? I'm not hungry because we had a late lunch today.

I didn't eat any of it. Oh, you didn't eat any of it? No, I didn't. Yeah, I made a mistake, I think. I ended up eating lunch at like 4.30. Woo, that's bad. So I'm gonna get home. Sometimes we do take out,

sometimes we do some kind of prepared meal and then sometimes Jessie will just make something. Sometimes I make something. But if she's like worked on something and she's like, she was kind of excited about me trying it, I'm put into this situation where either I just don't tell her that I ate at 4.30 and I just eat it and tell her that it's great.

Oh yeah. Or I get there and I'm like, ah, I'm not that hungry, you know, we had a really late lunch. I need you to help me with this decision, what should I say? Should I fake it? Absolutely fake it.

Okay. Because what's the worst that could happen? Well she could listen back to this. You eat a lot of food. She could listen to this. For the first time ever. But it probably won't be as much of a disappointment. If she listens to this and I'll be like,

she'll be like, oh, when you came home and you ate that food, you said you enjoyed it, but now I know that you weren't hungry. I think it's more important that at the time she felt affirmed. Well I think the most important thing is that I elected not to eat my lunch so that I could enjoy whatever plans we have for dinner as a family tonight.

That's much more important than me eating earlier. As long as my family takes that away, then I'm golden. But is that really why you didn't choose to eat? Oh, absolutely. You didn't choose to eat because we had already eaten a bunch of crap on the show, which is also the case. But the stuff that we ate on the show was so not sustaining. It never is. It was just so.

We eat a lot of crap on the show. Yeah, show days, man. Speaking of which, yeah, I mean, we eat a lot of non-breakfast food on the show for breakfast. That's why I'm like breakfast of champions. I say that a lot because it's really difficult. We have to get in a lunch or dinner mindset with all the stuff we eat in the show,

which is most all the time shot closest to the breakfast meal. Right. So again, we've trained ourselves to enjoy all types of things. You can too, Mira. Thank you for your questions. Thank you for coming down the rabbit hole with us.

Thank you for joining us for another episode of Ear Biscuits. The rabbit had two holes today. Yep. Awesome.