Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 137: Link’s RV Trip Fail | Ear Biscuits Ep. 137

Episode Date: April 2, 2018

The hilarious adventures R&L encountered while on their recent family vacations. Listen to Ear Biscuits at:  Apple Podcasts: applepodcasts.com/earbiscuits Spotify: spoti.fi/2oIaAwp Art19: art19.com/shows/ear-biscuits SoundCloud: @earbiscuits Follow This Is Mythical: Facebook: facebook.com/ThisIsMythical Instagram: instagram.com/Mythical Twitter: twitter.com/Mythical Other Mythical Channels: Good Mythical Morning: www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2 Good Mythical MORE: youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3 Rhett & Link: youtube.com/rhettandlink Credits: Hosted By: Rhett & Link Executive Producer: Stevie Wynne Levine Managing Producer: Jacob Moncrief Technical Director & Editor: Kiko Suura Graphics: Matthew Dwyer Set Design/Construction: Cassie Cobb Content Manager: Becca Canote Logo Design: Carra Sykes To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Rhett. I thought I had to sneeze again, but I don't. What? I'm Link, the guy who thought he had to sneeze again, but he didn't. You sneezed three times a second ago. Try to keep it even numbers.

This week at the round table of dim lighting, we gotta catch up brother, because we both went on separate family vacations. I don't know if I can call mine a vacation, I'll call it a sightseeing excursion via RV. I'm very excited about it, to hear from you and for you to hear from me. Yeah. Because we have,

we actually, we got in Monday of this week, so coming right back from vacation. We saw each other in the morning getting ready to shoot Good Mythical Morning. At the desk. And we didn't even really ask. I mean, I just, I asked. Well, it's implied that we shouldn't.

I just said, how was it? I didn't want, but you knew that I didn't even really ask. I mean, I just, I asked. Well, it's implied that we shouldn't. I just said, how was it? I didn't want, but you knew that I didn't want you to tell me any details. Right. It was just good, that's all you said. Right, it's like nobody, I mean, nothing tragic happened that like on a personal level we need to discuss before we publicly and for monetization purposes

like conduct our friendship. Well, that's the thing that you gotta remember about Ear Biscuits is that, I'm not doing this for theization purposes, conduct our friendship. Well that's the thing that you gotta remember about Ear Biscuits is that, I'm not doing this for the money though, I'm doing this for just the love of the. You didn't have to bring in the monetization. No I didn't. You don't want people to think about that.

Nope. I mean we talk enough about how you need to buy the two t-shirts that we're wearing right now. Yeah. Just let that just sort of wash over people. Right. But we hold back these conversations so then we can have them raw, unfiltered, for the first time.

So I'm gonna be finding out details about your vacation that normal friends would have already covered. Right. But we've waited days. I've been wondering, you've been hinting. Because everybody, the whole crew, knew you were gonna be in an RV, and everybody was like, how was it? Everybody wanted, everybody, and it was like.

And you haven't been divulging anything. But everybody's asking, like, because they know something went wrong. You know, it's like, but put Link, Of course. And his family in an RV, something's bound to go wrong. Yeah. I mean, so people aren't asking

because they want it to be good. They're asking because they want it to be entertaining. Yeah. And you know what? That's why you got an RV, just so you could talk about it. Well, Lando, who is eight now, was invited by a friend of his

to go on an RV trip with their family. And I'm like, son, don't do it. When was this? You don't wanna be trapped in a vehicle. Did your seat just sink? It did. Stop distracting me with your seat height. Trying to get to the right place.

I said, you don't wanna be trapped with another family, son, out in a vehicle. You wanna be trapped with our family. And that fell through and he was excited. So then, always wanted to fulfill his dream of going on an RV trip and it started becoming my dream. But what really put it over the edge was this right now. Like knowing that like, it's a beautiful thing

to take a risk and okay, put your whole family at recreational risk because even in the worst case, well I won't say worst case, I don't wanna say somebody dies or gets maimed, but like in a bad case scenario like the vacation sucks, it still is redeemed by the fact that I can talk about it here.

It's like a friend of mine said, you know what? When we moved out to California and he knew that we were in the video making business, he said, remember, it's better to have a good story than a good time. So I kinda live by that. I still don't know how I feel about that advice.

Well, I just like knowing, even if something goes raw or sideways, that'd be like, well, at least I can talk about. Well, you're the one who said raw. Yeah, but I didn't say it like that. Like chafing, chafing. Usually you say goes wrong, but I kinda like goes raw. Yeah it's like, I thought these underwear

would be comfortable but they're going raw on me. Oh gosh. It's a lot of chafing. So I rented the RV, I did not purchase an RV, that would be stupid. Overkill. That would be stupid. Well but a lot of people do purchase it.

You don't want the RV owners to quit listening to your voice. And I ran into a bunch of those people. Well, I crossed paths with a bunch of those people. Yeah, and they knew that you were a renter. Yeah, you had it all over your face. Maybe I'll get back to that if the more exciting things of my story don't pan out. You're much too fit to be an RV owner.

You know what I'm saying? Even the RV forums say, well, you should rent an RV and you should, and there was, you know, I was starting to wig out. Like reading all the stuff leading up to it, they're like, well, you should go on a short trip just to get a feel for it. You don't wanna go on a long trip. Sprint before the marathon. Yeah, you wanna just to get a feel for it. You don't want to go on a long trip.

Sprint before the marathon. Yeah, you want to just get a feel for everything. You got to know how to empty the tanks. There's so many tanks on an RV. I go to pick up the thing, and the guy's walking me through it, and every time he would tell me something like, first thing he did was like, now you put the garden hose on this,

and you fill it up with water. Got it? And there was a valve beside it, and did was like, now you put the garden hose on this and you fill it up with water, got it? And then he, and there was a valve beside it and he was like, and then when you get to the place, you put their garden hose up to this place and you connect it semi-permanently, got it? And I noticed a pattern because then the next thing, he like squats down and there's like two pull handles and a big pipe. And he was like, this is where you get rid of your,

what did he call it, gray water and your black water. And you gotta hook up their hose to run it into their septic tank before you pull this valve for the black water. Because if you pull the black water valve first, you're gonna have your family stinky all over you. Got it? Yeah.

And every, so he would, and he was like, then you pull the gray one and it runs the rest of the, the you know what. The black water. Out of the tube. Flushes the system. With your sink and your shower water. I got it. Got it? I got it. And every single time, he'd be looking down out of the tube with your sink and your shower water.

I got it. Got it? I got it. And every single time, he'd be looking down and he'd lock eyes with me and he'd say, got it? And I just started, I looked at Christy, I was like, what, I have it. I don't know why he keeps looking at me. It's like, I literally thought,

do I have a stupid look on my face? Well, you probably shouldn't ask that question. Do you want me to answer it? Yeah. I literally thought, do I have a stupid look on my face? Well, you probably shouldn't ask that question. Do you want me to answer it? Yeah, I mean, why did he keep saying, is it, it's a tick that he has? Well, his job is explaining things to people and seeing if they got it. What do you mean, I'm listening to you, man.

I'm a college graduate. But, well. I'm an intern. That doesn't have anything to do with it. A lot of people don't listen. Got it? And also you do tend to have a look on your face that you tend to go into your own world. Usually not when somebody's talking.

I mean, well, a lot of times. I know, maybe he only does it with you because there are times that- You think it's my face. No, I don't does it with you. Because there are times that- You think it's my face. No, I don't think you look stupid. I think you can sometimes have stupid looks. And I think- Well, is it like a far off look?

Yeah, it's a disengaged look. Okay. Very off, and I've known you for so long that I know, I'd say seven out of 10 sentences I start and then don't continue, because I recognize that you're not ready. You can't handle the truth? I recognize that you ain't gonna got it

if I keep talking. My mind is somewhere else. But usually once I know you're engaged and you're sitting there watching something, at that point I don't keep confirming. Then I'm going with the flow. I was very engaged. I don't think it was my face because I was nervous

about pulling the dookie chute at the wrong time. Yeah, you never wanna do that. And there's like, we're not even inside the RV, there's gauges in there for water levels and generators and AC units and this is how the fridge, fridge won't work if it's not level, it's like all this stuff, you got ins and outs. But I got it and I brought it home,

I pulled it into my driveway and I left it there for a couple of days just to get acclimated. I rented it two days early just so they could start packing stuff in it, the kids could put their shenanigans in there, their knickknacks and whatnot to be comfortable. And there'd be no excuses for not having everything because you have days to just start putting stuff in there. And not having fun, no excuse for not having fun.

No excuses for that. And then I finally, I come home from shooting and we're immediately gonna get in the RV and go. It's go time. And it is pouring down rain. Yeah, it was raining a lot. I mean, it doesn't rain in here. There's a whole song about it.

Yeah. Tony Tony Tony. Yeah, I know. It never rains in Southern California. Yeah, great album. Well, Tony Tony Tony is out of touch, touch, touch, because it was raining, raining, raining, like cats and dogs. You remember.

I do remember. Because you were leaving for your vacation at the same time, I guess. Just in a normal car though. Genius. So I hadn't filled up our tank with water so I'm filling it up with water, weighing this thing down, get all my family in there.

Filling up the water tank for like the spigot and everything and. Yeah for flushing the toilet for. Just like hooking a hose up to it. Yeah and then you unhook the hose before you drive off. But when you get to a site you can use their water instead of using the water from your tank. Got it.

Got it. So I'm like Christy, I need you to stand out in the rain, I'm sorry and make sure I don't back into like my neighbor's car or something. I gotta back out of this driveway and I'm gonna back up the street into the cul-de-sac and I want you to say, if I can't see you in a mirror, if you can't see me in a mirror, I cannot see you

and I do not wanna run over you at this juncture. Right. But I need you to be out there. Bad way to start, kill your wife right at the beginning. So I'm like, she gets out there, I put it in reverse, everybody's in, the dog's in. And I'm like, all right Christy, I'm backing up. So I start backing up and then all of a sudden

the RV hits something. Oh gosh. And it stops. Cold. What in the world did you hit? At the end of my driveway, it's at a slope and then the street kinda goes up the other way.

Crowns. It kinda crowns so there's a ditch, by the way, with flowing torrential waters of rain going through it, like a ditch. Well, the whole back end of the RV just jammed into the asphalt of my street. Just like. You bottomed out.

I bottomed out. Because when I pulled in, I was light. And you know what, come to think of it, when I pulled in, there was a little scrapey scrape. Yeah so you had to immediately get the kids to take all the stuff they wanted to take with them and throw it out into the yard.

Start with the heavy stuff. The largest kid. Get all the people besides you out. I wasn't gonna do that because it was pouring down rain and I was like, oh crap. I start panicking a little bit, I gotta hold this inside. I can't let my family see that I'm crapping a brick and that I'm falling apart here.

My wife's out in the rain. She's like, you hit the street. You hit the street. That's not how you want your vacation to start. You hit the street. What does that even mean? And I'm like, oh gosh, and I'm like, solution, solution, solution, focus on a positive solution.

Use that engineering degree. So I remembered around my house, I just start running over there. You know how when I start to get panicky and I'm trying to come up with a solution, I'm incommunicative. So I run out. You stop using real words. Yeah, I'll say like the first half of a sentence,

like my family hates this. I'm like, so Christy's tailing me around the house and I'm like, I got an idea. I can, and then I start picking up the extra pavers that the construction company used to like make driveway, like little individual pavers. So it's not like a concrete driveway. And so I grabbed those, they're heavy. And then I just started, I'm like, hold the gate open!

And I'm like, it's pouring down rain. I'm like, I made probably 10 trips getting these heavy pavers. Filling in the ditch. Like to make a, I pulled the RV back up and then I started making a path for the back wheels to elevate it. Yeah.

Like two concrete bridges. And then I, I mean, 30 minutes later, I'm like drenched, I'm sweating, I'm panicking. Like kids are coming out and they're like, are we still going on this trip? I'm like get back in the RV! Don't get, it's a danger zone out here! You might get hit, I don't know what's happening.

This is before you attempted to cross the land bridge. Yeah, and then I get them all back in. And I, except for Christy. Is she in a raincoat? She's in a raincoat. And I'm like, all right, I'm going for it. And I get in the car and I smash on the brake in order to pull the emergency brake.

And then I'm like, I'm cranking up the car and I'm gonna back up slowly over the bridge that I've made. I crank it up, nothing, just dead as a doornail. Oh gosh. I'm like, gah. I'm like, I'm a failure. It was just, I was just like, I was this close to just slamming my head

against the steering wheel, just like. Can't let him see you do that. Just like, gather around neighbors, look at the failure father. Yeah, can't let him lose confidence in Dad. He's been planning an RV trip for months. And he can't leave his own home. And he cannot get out of the driveway.

And he cannot get out of the driveway. Christy's hearing the failing crank. It won't turn over. And I couldn't make eye contact with her. I just. Yeah, you shouldn't at that point. And then I was like, then I looked down and I did not have my foot on the brake. I was flooring the gas pedal of my RV.

What? I had it pedal to the metal. I was like, because I wasn't familiar with the gas and the gas pedal. Is it on a different side of an RV? What? No, it's just, it's all a little further to the left. So what I thought.

You were flooding it. Yeah, I was flooding it. I thought I was putting my foot smash right in the middle of the brake. I'm glad it didn't crank up. I know, I flooded the engine. Think about what could have happened. And so I took my foot off of the gas

and I put it on the brake and I was like, oh, just like, just a prayer crank. And I cranked it and three times and three times, and it cranked. Third time. Charm. And then I'm like, now I gotta get over this center block bridge that I've made. Right. So I go over that, and it's like, it took a little oomph.

Like, I couldn't ease because I built quite a. Yeah, you gotta get up on the bridge. Had to be kind of aggressive. And I went up on it and then bam! Like it cracks the whole bridge. I was gonna say it had to crack the bridge. It cracked the bridge but I kept going and then we were off.

You were on the road. Well I had to then take another 15 minutes to get rid of the land bridge. And then Christy's like go in the house, you're soaked. Just go in the house, change, take a breather. You know what, you can get a fresh start. Get a fresh set of clothes. Get a fresh underwear.

Now that you've gotten out of the driveway, it's time for a clothes change. Our first hour of our RV trip was in the driveway. Yeah, that's good. Gosh, what an idiot. So I'm assuming the trip continued and you will tell me more about that. That's all I'd care to share.

It gets better and more interesting after that. And I'll tell you a little bit about my trip as well. But first. Ear Biscuits is supported by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is a meal kit delivery service that shops, plans, and delivers step-by-step recipes and pre-measured ingredients so you can just cook, eat, and enjoy.

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So I got on the road. I got some more stuff to talk about the RV, but I don't wanna hog everything. I do wanna hear about your trip. Well. RV-less. Yeah, well. Trip to Palm Springs. First thing, we were right out of the driveway, just like a bullet.

I mean, no problem at all. I didn't change clothes or anything. I didn't have to build a land bridge. I just, I backed out and then got on the road. Kinda like every time you back out of your driveway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know my driveway. My driveway's not easy to get out of.

Well, let me tell you, brother. Don't put an RV up that driveway. There's a lot that can go wrong with my driveway, but thankfully we got right on the road. We went to Palm Springs. You already know this if you follow me on Instagram. Shout out to RedMC on Instagram. It doesn't even make sense to shout.

That's not, you're like such a dad thing to say. I want people to know. Shout out to my, like it's not listening. I just want people to know, if they wanna know about these things first. Before they happen. As they're happening. Red MC on Instagram.

Christy did tell me afterwards, she was like, I thought about pulling up my phone and taking pictures of that bridge or. Oh she should have. The look on your face. Yeah, I would've been into that. Get some video. I was actually, my family was.

But I didn't do it. My family was keeping up with your trip a little bit through the various Instagram stories from your kids and your wife. Oh yeah? Yeah. So that's how, I knew a little bit about what was happening with you. And I think Christy was texting Jesse

because I was like, what you doing over there? You're not telling anybody about what happened, are you? She just said that there was some trouble getting out of the driveway. That's all I knew. I did not know what that meant. I'm glad I got the full story though. You know, I had a great vacation.

It was a vacation, it wasn't too adventurous. We stayed at a resort and spa situation, mostly the lounging beside the pool. When you go to Palm Springs, is it like you're entering 1960 again? That's how I picture it. In a lot of ways, yeah. It's like the birthplace

of mid-century modern architecture. So you go through these neighborhoods and you could easily think, if you didn't see the modern cars that you were in, it was 1962. One story houses, super mid-century modern, they all kinda look similar, but then they've got like the different colored doors or whatever.

Did you Airbnb in one? You could probably do that. We didn't, we stayed at a hotel. But, and there's like the, there's a whole like movement that pays homage to those times gone by, so lots of neon signs and there's like a bunch of old men who drive big old cars. It's kind of a place for old dudes who like to play golf,

like some great golf courses out there and there's a lot of old people. Yeah, RV parks as it turns out, because I stayed in three. I actually passed a number of RV parks. They were a lot of old people. You think about it. Permanent residents of RV parks.

When you know that there's somebody out there that you know is in an RV, you start seeing RVs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Saw a lot of RVs. There's a lot of RVs on the road. It's called RVision. Yes. That's what you get when your friend's in an RV

and you're feeling for them. I had it all week. But. Recreational vision. As I told you on the last podcast when we were getting ready to leave, as much as you wanted to ride atop a mule down into the bottom of the Grand Canyon,

you weren't able to do that, I did get to ride at least a horse. Again, you already know this if you follow me on Instagram, I won't shout it out again. You already heard it the first time. Christy handed me your phone and showed me your Instagram picture. I kinda took it for you.

It was gloating. I rubbed it in a little bit. Also, I was on a white horse. With a cowboy hat. Yeah, and apparently I think I had the cowboy hat on backwards. Is that what the comments said? A few comments pointed that out.

And I'm not 100% sure. I went back and looked at all the photos and I was like, I don't know if it was on backwards or not. The guy probably did it on purpose. Did the cat come with the tour? No, okay, so we. You didn't go buy a hat, did you? I did not buy a hat, no.

In the place where we were getting ready to go, there was the option of wearing a helmet. And of course, the kids have to wear a helmet. And then the adults have the option to wear a helmet. My wife, Locke wear a helmet on a horse? Most everyone does. Okay, that's smart.

And I think that it is the right choice. But I was like, I'm not gonna wear a helmet, I'm gonna wear that cowboy hat that they had up there. I was like, is that cowboy hat also available to wear? And then he was like, yeah. So I was like, I'm gonna wear that. And my wife was up. You know it doesn't offer similar protection.

No, the brim is stiff. I think that it would've offered some protection. But I was like, how much trouble can you get on a horse? And then my wife was like, what about, she got mad at me. She was like, what about trouble can you get on a horse? And then my wife was like, she got mad at me. She was like, what about what happened to Christopher Reeve? And I'm like, well, A, he was jumping over things, and B, he had a frickin' helmet on.

He broke his neck. That's not what I'm trying to protect myself against. Hold on, did you do research in the midst of your argument to find out that he was wearing a helmet? How would you know that? Well, I'm assuming he had a helmet on because he was in competition as a, Oh, I get it.

Like a jumper. Okay. And they wear helmets. Yeah, yeah. Because horses are jumping. My horse is going to go on a single wide trail at three miles per hour. I don't think I need a helmet. That was my decision, caused a little contention.

But anyway, I put the cowboy hat on backwards. Got on the white horse like a boss. I mean. Now first of all, so we follow the trailer full of our horses. And so they just kinda looked at us and they like selected four horses. We never saw the horses.

We drive to the place where we have access to the trail. And then the horses start getting out and they start matching us with horses. And so they bring this little horse out and they're like, that's for you, Shepherd. And then another horse, that's for you, second oldest boy, second boy, Locke. And then this, ma'am, this horse is for you.

And then there's like, okay, what's the horse? What's the last horse? And they had three brown horses. And then out of the trailer comes this giant white horse. A giant horse. And Jesse says, oh no, don't put him on a white horse. As if his ego all needs that. And so I get on the white horse named Spanky.

Spanky. Which really kind of takes the wind out of it. And the most notable thing about this trip was our guide. Who had a very interesting connection to you and what you were experiencing. My uncle? At the Grand Canyon. What?

Well I'll tell you that in a second, but quickly. Why you giving me a teaser? That's not how we do. Because that comes a little bit later. Okay. This guy, Tony was his name, former bull rider. Tony of Tony Tony Tony?

No, that would be too perfect. Okay. And this- Former bull rider. So he, I knew right off the bat this guy- Glass jaw. This guy was a character. Just a character, had this like Midwest cowboy kind of accent that's not quite southern, but you know, it's just interesting.

Grub and Patty, not Pattyty wagon, what's it called? Chuck wagon. I took his hand. Yeah? And it was like, it was like he had just put his hand into like a, you know, like a. A grinder? Belt sander every day for three hours.

I mean, it was just amazing the way his hand felt and like every knuckle was as big as a cue ball. You know what I'm saying? It was just. And then he starts ball. You know what I'm saying? It was just, and then he starts talking a little bit and I'm like, you know, how'd you get into this? And he was like, well, I was a bull rider first. He's an older guy.

And I was like, oh really? He was a professional bull rider. I was like, how many bones did you break? He was like 47. He was like so ready. He was so ready with that, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had been talking about like the geology of the place

and the history and it was really interesting, but then once we got him on talking about himself, it was when the entertainment began. Oh yeah? Again, you were going three miles per hour on horses that incidentally stop and want to eat everything. Really? And he was like, yeah, it's like a salad bar

for them out here and they're eating every plant. Are they in the desert? Yeah, in the desert, just going through the desert in Indian canyons is what they call this area. Some elevation change or? A little bit, but not a lot. It didn't like get cold or anything. But it is beautiful and you like go into the canyons

where the palm trees have been growing for years since the Spanish came and planted them, you know, in the 1600s or whatever, that's how palm trees got to California, learned that, they're not native. Learned that from a bull rider. But anyway, this dude, and I don't wanna divulge a lot, he wasn't even necessarily super comfortable

talking about all the stuff that he ended up telling us. Like, this dude almost- You got him crying or something? No, he just doesn't like to talk about himself, but we kept asking so many questions. Well, he's a cowboy, Rhett. They're known for not doing that. I know, but we asked questions and he kept answering

and he had these amazing stories. This dude. Reluctant storyteller. He had a story about falling off of a cliff and the horse fell on him. He broke every rib. God. Every single rib. And then he had to be, he laid there for an hour.

He was in Yellowstone. Yellowstone. Waiting for the bear guides who were out there patrolling to come get him and put him on a horse and take him back. He had another experience where he was clinically dead for a number of minutes and saw some very interesting things. He has recurrent dreams where he has these dreams that'll happen and they'll happen like,

he's like I dreamed this 18 nights in a row. And then he tells what it is. Just an amazing. I mean like wicked stuff? No, just interesting stuff where the very specific things happen and he's being followed by multiple people on horseback and he turns around and he can't make out their faces

and then they all start flying and he's like, and then I wake up and then it happened every night for 18 days in a row. And then we're like, well, what's your interpretation? He's like, I'm still figuring that out. And you know who he reminded me of? Poured his guts out to you. He reminded me of. Me?

Not you. Jack Palance's character from City Slickers. Curly? Was that his name? Well I haven't seen the movie, but I do think it's Curly. Oh gosh. You gotta watch that movie. In fact, as we were out there,

Jessie said the same thing, she was like, we gotta watch City Slickers with the kids because this guy is him. He won like best supporting actor. Yeah, but anyway, just it was a treat. It was an absolute treat to have this guy tell us this stuff. Did you try to ask him maybe,

could the horses go faster? I thought about that at a time, but what I did is he said, if you want the horses to go faster, like if your horse falls behind, because he was leading, then just give it a nice little kick. It's not even really, it doesn't hurt him.

It's a signal. You just kind of put your heels into their side belly there. And so my horse was taking a break to eat, which he did a lot. Spanky was hungry. And Jessie was in front of me and she got a little bit away and then I kind of did the little kick and Spanky got moving and when your horse gets moving, you get moving and-

Like this? It was uncomfortable in the nether regions. Okay. Like I feel like I missed something. Like I didn't get a tutorial on how to protect the boys once the horse starts galloping. Your boys swell up to the size of Curly's knuckles. And so I was like,

I know that there's gotta be a technique for this because every cowboy doesn't have bruised paws. I mean they figure it out somehow. They remove them. Yeah. Keep them in a jar. All cowboys are castrated before. No, they put them back in after.

Like marbles. It's like, yeah. Like a sack of marbles. Right, a small sack of marbles. I don't have a sack of marbles situation, so I was in a little bit of pain. Of course, it doesn't matter because they don't work anymore.

Saddle bag, it's what saddle bags are for. Now, I will say this, here's the connection. Yeah. Here's the connection. Bring this back to me. First of all, if you are gonna go do this trip. I'm a little jealous but I would wanna go fast. He also was like family friends with Garth Brooks' family.

Well he's a cowboy. Which, because their farms, his dad's farm and then like the Garth Brooks. In Oklahoma? No, it's like Wyoming is where they grew up. Butted up against each other. So he's got like Garth Brooks growing up stories too. We were like, you should write a book.

He was like, I don't wanna do that. Anyway, so if you take Tony, get Tony's tour. This is like a Travelocity moment. Yeah, but the thing is, is like, he may not want you to, you know, he may not wanna tell everybody these stories, so don't ask Tony, just see if he wants to talk about it. Now, he said, I said, my best friend and business partner

is currently in the Grand Canyon. Conversation went to me, I appreciate it. You ever, and he wanted to take the mules down into the Grand Canyon. Yeah. I said, you ever done that? He says, 27,000 miles worth. Really?

Yeah. 27,000 miles? He's 27,000 miles of experience doing that. That's more than up and down once, I'll tell ya. And this guy, he's been all over the place. He says, my good friend. Over three Empire State Buildings worth of height in that Grand Canyon.

His friend is the guy who is currently in charge of the program, holds the world record for the number of miles into the Grand Canyon on a mule. It's like 42,000. He's logging a lot of miles. And he said there's an 18-month waiting list. Yeah. And then he told me about the lodge down there

at the bottom that you stay in. You go down on a mule and then there's a lodge down there and you spend the night. Yeah, it sounds amazing. In like a camping scenario and then, because you can't do it all in one day. And then you ride the mule back up. And I heard that of all the people that die

every year in the Grand Canyon, it's never because of a mule ride. Never. They're so reliable. The mules are sure-footed. They're so reliable. Right. I did see the mules. You saw them.

In a corral, but I did not go to the top of Bright Angel Falls Trail or whatever it's called, the one that they take everyone down. He told me. I really wanna go back, my family won't do it. I'd love for the two of us to go back. Oh, I'll totally do it, and we have the hookup now. Oh yeah?

And yeah, he said, call me. Skip the waiting list? You know, we might be able to work something out. But he gave me a- Both of us on one mule. Yeah, might get a discount mule. But he did say, last thing, and I wanna get back to your trip.

He said that the astronauts, actually they went on the moon, if you believe that kind of thing. When they got back from the moon trip, they stayed at that lodge at the bottom of the Grand Canyon for a month. Why? To be completely out of the limelight.

To be basically in a place where the press could not get to them and they could decompress. And he was like, a lot of people know that, but I know it because I know the guys who run that camp. Wow. And everybody, that's what they say, that astronauts stay down there. When you need to decompress like an astronaut.

At the bottom of the Grand Canyon. At the bottom of the Canyon. So anyway, that was my highlight. I have another funny story that I will get to, but I wanna, back to you, Link. Of course, I'd seen the Grand Canyon because on our mythical road trip where we drove a U-Haul pulling my minivan all the way across the country

and we had, these videos are on the Rhett and Link channel and actually the Good Mythical Morning channel too where we had fan meetups at rest areas as we drove Interstate 40 all the way across the country. What was that, seven years ago now? 2011, yeah. But we took a detour off 40 to the Grand Canyon. We're like hey, we didn't plan it,

but we're like let's see the Grand Canyon. We did for maybe an hour. So I had seen it. So when we finally get there in the RV, and you know, the kids have space, it's nice, I'm going 65 miles an hour with a speed limit of 70, because you really can't push this thing that hard. But there's a bed above the cab,

and even though it's probably not that safe, it's kind of like you not wearing a helmet on a horse. Also there's a different speed limit for those vehicles. No, you're talking, if you're pulling a trailer, if you have three axles, you have to drive 55. Oh. But not the RV. So they each had space to be on their screen

or Jade was nervous, she sat with Christy in the passenger seat the whole time. So they don't say buckled up inside there. No, the sign in the RV says stay buckled up. But what's the fun of being in an RV if you're buckled up? Yeah, I knew that was never gonna happen, I just had to be careful.

So we had a really good experience in the RV driving up there. Wherever you stop, you've got everything at your disposal. It's with you. Including anything you need to dispose of. A toilet or a trash can. Like you don't have to get out for anything except to stretch your legs.

I really like that. When we got, so the first night, we stayed in Kingman. Kingman. Just a town off Route 66. Got there after dark, after leaving so late. I was delayed, did I mention that? Yeah. Get up the next morning, so we had driven like five hours.

We drove the other almost three hours to the Grand Canyon. We drove, we got the pass and we drive. The thing about the Grand Canyon, you remember when we went there was, the elevation change is imperceptible. You're basically flat, for all intents and purposes. Driving up all the way through the gate to the parking lot that is, you get out of the car

and then you walk through some trees and then you're at the rim of the Grand Canyon. So it's just like, you park the car and you get out. Now I walked ahead and we even took Jade because I knew you could take a dog on the rim trail and I'm like running ahead. So that, and I got to the edge before the family and I turned around, because I like, I'd already seen it, but they had never seen

the Grand Canyon, so I got there, I turned around in order to watch their reaction to coming up to the edge of the Grand Canyon and seeing it for the first time. You have a camera? No man, mental picture. Mental picture, got it. Because if you're filming something,

you're not really experiencing it. I have a technique for that though. You could just film it, you're not really experiencing it. I have a technique for that though. You could just film it, you could have it down there. You gotta hold it and then you gotta be in the moment. Right, right. But you can't be on the screen. You gotta look and film at the same time. We actually took a helicopter tour

and the moment that we came over the rim, that's the big moment in a helicopter tour. When the bottom drops out and you're over the freaking Grand Canyon. I filmed that while looking out the window. It was decent footage that I'll never watch again. But this is a special moment, so I turn around and the family's coming up.

They're actually not that excited. Or they've been in an RV all day. Yeah. But they hadn't seen the Grand Canyon yet and then they get to the edge and it was, that was the moment for me was seeing like, I mean even Lincoln who like, he's hard to phase man. He's a middle child, he's just like,

I'm just here, don't demand too much of me. It's kind of his outlook on life. I could tell he was like, dang. It hit. It's just real big. Real big, it's deeper than I thought. It's grand. That's what he said, it's deeper than I thought it would be.

But I could tell that he was kind of like, blown away. So that was pretty cool. And then I turned and I looked at Christy, she was crying. Like she was like, I'm crying. I'm literally looking at something in nature that has just hit me over the head so hard that I'm crying. So that was pretty cool.

In it, even having seen it once for a couple hours, and I think we went to the exact same spot that you and I went when we first saw the, over the south rim. It's amazing. I mean, it's just. Pictures just don't do it justice, man. You gotta see it in person.

So it's pretty mind-blowing. And we did do a helicopter tour, which, it was okay. I mean it was awesome what we saw, but like the pilot didn't really have anything to say. He didn't give you a play by play like the guys in Kauai? Yeah, the guy in Kauai was awesome, remember that? Oh yeah. That was awesome.

And they would time like Jurassic Park music. We had different, we had different. Oh, we had different guys. Different guys, but my guy was incredible, knew all this stuff. This guy wasn't great. They play the music at the right time. There was some music supposedly at the right time,

but when we're about to go over the rim, there's like a eight minute flight before you get to the Grand Canyon, and the whole time Lando's upset because his headset microphone won't work so when he talks he can't hear himself and no one can hear him. And so over the course of that eight minute trip,

he got more upset, more upset, more upset. While you're on the helicopter. Yeah, and so then I'm getting upset, and I'm like, we're getting close. This is the moment. It costs a lot of money to go on a helicopter ride. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, this is the moment,

is what I'm thinking, and he's about to blow his top, because he wants to talk, and he's concerned about something, and we don't know what it is, and he's talking to Christy and I'm like, ugh. And then I'm like, we're about to go over,

I'm like, I have to salvage this so that everybody can enjoy the moment we go over the edge. Yeah. So here I am being dad of the year, like snatching the headset off of Lincoln and off of Lando and like switching them and like saying, don't you use it, he's not talking anyway. You just, and there's other people in the helicopter with us.

Oh yeah, clearly. Another couple and the pilot. And I'm showing my tail like, just take his headset. You take his, because you're not talking anyway. It's like, what is it that you want to say? And then what did Lando say when he got the headset on? He said, what does terrain mean? Because the pilot had said the word terrain

eight minutes earlier. Yeah, right, right, right. What does terrain mean? He was tearing them up inside. You had to know. I got no context for this. I'm like, we're going, just look out the window. What the heck is terrain?

I told him. And I calmed down, I was like, I told him. And I did get to film going over the edge and I'll never watch it back. You know, it's interesting because. It's really awesome. I know that Christy was a little nervous about getting on the helicopter.

And even though she did it kawaii, so having done it once, she was less nervous. She hates flying in general. She sent, we have a little group text with our families and a few other friends. And so. She's like sending texts to the group. She's sending a text.

It's like, all right, we're about to go on this helicopter. We're about to do the helicopter. And so then our friend Caroline was like, is it windy? And she was kind of just screwing with you a little bit. But then. Yeah, we were like, well, it was windy and they delayed it a few hours, but it's cleared up now. And then you guys went on the trip and you took a picture of yourself and like, we're all fine.

So everybody knew that you were okay and you had landed and at that point Caroline said, good I'm glad because a couple of weeks ago my friend took the helicopter tour at the Grand Canyon and the helicopter in front of them fell out of the sky and crashed and exploded and everyone died. And I'm like, and I'm reading that. And you thought it was a joke and it wasn't because I looked it up.

And not everybody died, I think more than half of the people in the helicopter died and then some people got out. But that's crazy that that happened. Well I mean I'm trying to figure out is she a good friend for not telling us or for? Yeah, because you still would have done it. I mean, it's a freak accident.

Oh, I would have. It happens. Helicopters are not particularly safe, but they are relatively safe. And this one, when the wind picked up, I was nauseous almost the whole time. Yeah. Really, yeah, yeah.

Because it was waggling. If they get at a side angle. It wasn't going up and down, it was like waggling. And that was disconcerting. I wouldn't have done well with that because I'd get sick in that situation. Yeah, but it was awesome. I mean, we went over the widest part of the Grand Canyon

and there's a, it's got a 90 degree turn in it right there. There's lots of turns in it. How close did you go, how far did you go down? At this point, we didn't go down into it. But um. How close did you go, how far did you go down? Not, at this point we didn't go down into it. At another point we went down just a little bit. Where you're just below the surface of the. But they don't let go all the way down to the river. No, no, no. Now um.

They could probably. At other places, like my dad took a helicopter ride from Vegas to the western end and they landed and had a meal by the Colorado River and then took off. Wow, you could just go to Vegas and do it. Yeah, and it doesn't cost any more money than what I paid to just go eight minutes from the place. But it was, I mean, they talked about,

there's this one plateau in the middle of the Grand Canyon, this particular place that's like sacred for the Native Americans that settled there and they would climb the sheer cliffs of this plateau in the middle of this part of the Grand Canyon and have ceremonies there and parties and such. That was pretty awesome, that stuck with me. Just picturing that happening.

Did you see the glass walkway? No, that's on the Indian Reservation that's in the western end of the Grand Canyon. It's not in the South Rim Park. The North Rim was still closed because there was snow and we flew over all of that. It's a thousand feet higher, the North Rim versus the South Rim.

I mean, it was fabulous. The RV life was pretty good. So you're sleeping in the RV at night. Yeah, it was a good bonding experience for our family. What's the food situation? We ate dinner out, like we'd walk from the RV place to like dinner, but like lunch and then snacks and stuff we'd eat in the RV and breakfast.

Breakfast? Yeah we had. You're cooking, cooking breakfast in the RV? On a stove? Christy made, yeah, gas stove. She made her signature scrambled eggs, cheese, and sausage that she would send with us when we'd go camping. We had that one morning.

Yeah. That seems fun. It's good, I mean, it's good. Did it have like a wing that kinda goes out and expands and gets a little bit bigger? No, mine didn't have that. Had one bed in the back and then the couch became a futon bed and then the table and two bench seats, like a booth configuration, became a futon bed and then the table and two bench seats,

like a booth configuration, became a bed and then there was a bed area over the cab. How do you, I don't think I could do this with my kids because my kids cannot keep anything clean or straight. Like, I was cleaning, I was straightening and cleaning stuff three times a day. My kids, to continue to live in that. clean or straight. I was cleaning, I was straightening and cleaning stuff three times a day. My kids, we had like adjoining rooms at this place

and because I can't share a room with them. That would kill them all. So I can't share a room, I'd have to be in a separate place. Try giving them headsets. But then I go in there and it's like the way that they've unpacked it is they've just taken the suitcase and just turned it over. They dump it?

But they haven't, they say they haven't done that. But it's like a wild animal came in and got in the suitcase and then busted its way out of the suitcase and that's what was left, like that's how they unpack. Yeah, it's tight quarters in there, it's difficult. I mean, if I had seven more inches, I'm talking about height. Okay.

I wouldn't, if I was as tall as you. Yeah, clarify that. It would be difficult. I mean, I took a shower in the RV and it was, it was rather cramped. Yeah. And the water was not, I mean it got like in the 20s at night, so the water was very cold

and the heater took the edge off of it but it was still a cold shower. Well. And a tight shower. It's funny you mention the shower and the RV because probably at the time that you were experiencing that I was having the exact opposite experience in the spa at the resort.

Oh now you're gonna gloat about the spa. And, because this is where another funny story occurred. Okay. So, we both like a good massage. I love it. We've established that. I love a massage. My calling in life is to be a massage critic. Like that's what I need to be doing really.

Okay, I don't know if there's a market for that, but. I just travel around and give people notes on the massages they've given me. That's what I wanna do in my life. I got the best massage I've ever gotten. Really? This woman went so aggressive. I mean, it was like, I told her, she said,

"'How aggressive?' I said, "'I want you to go hard, "'and then I'll tell you to back off.'" And I didn't tell her to back off and I should have. There were points when you had to concentrate on your breathing? Oh yeah, I was wincing. I was, the faces, if you could have seen the face

through the hole, if there was a hole cam on the bottom of the table. We have one of those in Buddy's system. Yeah, you would have been, but it wasn't, I had a great massage. Then you rode a horse and you got a good massage. I had a great time. Man. And you rode a horse and you got a good massage. I had a great time. Man.

So then after the massage, I like to use the facilities of the spa. You know, you get access to the spa, you get access to the steam room, the sauna, the plunge pool, the hot tub. Oh yeah, I thought you meant like take a dump. No, yeah, I mean I may have done that as well, but that's not what I was referring to.

Do that before the massage. Yeah, but. You don't want them pushing in a certain place and then it's the release valve. There's few things that I enjoy more than just walking around a spa naked. You know, there's just something that. In the men, it's a men only area.

Of course, yeah. And I don't go into the co-ed area naked. I would get a quick escort. Reprimand. And so I just love the feeling of freedom and there's just something about just being just a human with nothing else except a wedding ring. It is very healthy, I believe.

And I think it's a healthy exercise and you just feel like you're one with nature except you're still in a spa in a resort. Yeah, you're not out in the woods. But I don't like to have conversations while naked with other naked men. Oh. That is not my idea of a good time.

No. And so, and I thought that this was kind of the spa code. You know, when we're naked, let's not talk. Maybe I was wrong. So. Well, maybe if you're submerged and there's lots of bubbles, but. No, no, once you're in the hot tub, you can talk.

But like, next to each other at lockers, other than excuse me. Yeah. You know, or my locker's there. But especially when you're in the sauna, okay? So I love a sauna, love it. Love a steam room too, I like going in between. But I'm in the sauna, just a dry sauna,

where you can see everything, there's no steam obscuring anything in there. And so I'm just sitting in there, on a towel of course, but I'm on the towel, I'm not in the towel, I'm out in all my glory. Well. The Redster is on full display. Okay.

And shout out, RedMC on Instagram, I don't post those kinds of pictures, but just thought it was a good time to shout out. Because it always is. Because they're censored on Instagram, I don't post those kinds of pictures, but just thought it was a good time to shout out. Because it always is. Because they're censored on Instagram, I couldn't do it. I could probably tweet naked pictures, but I'm not that kind of guy. This is just for me.

So I'm sitting in there on my towel, and then a man comes in and sits down. He's also naked. He doesn't sit right next to me, he sits catty corner, you know, 90 degrees. He's like, I could tell that he was about to say something. He was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. How was the massage?

Oh. How was the massage? And I'm thinking, is this guy like A manager? The CEO of the massage? Oh. How was the massage? And I'm thinking, is this guy like a manager? The CEO of the resort? Is he trying to get my opinion? It's interesting, because that's what I wanted to do, give my opinion, but not in that sense. And I said it was great.

Period. Period. Yeah. Did not ask a question back to him. He volleyed to me and I just caught the ball. You know what I'm saying? Did not volley it back. It's like you swallowed it. I mean, I answered him. And then the questions came,

where you from, what you doing here? And I'm like, oh, we're having this conversation. Okay, all right. How many bones have you broken? And so. 27,000. It doesn't take a few, it takes only a few questions to get to the point where now I've gotta talk about

what I do for a living. And then there's this weird moment in which I'm like, if I say the right combination of answers, then he's gonna just go on the internet and look at what I do. And now he's gonna have this picture of the man that he spoke to naked as this dude that is on the internet.

And that just makes me feel weird. The comments could be weird. So I told him I was a high school principal. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I wish I had done that because I told him what I did. You could have had me.

I would have totally believed it. You could have spun that yarn for at least five minutes. I told him what I did, I mentioned the name of the show. Dang. You exposed yourself emotionally. I totally exposed myself in every way I could. Was completely naked. He's like, well let me write that down.

Well, I'm gonna have to do that later. So I learned that he was not just a guest, he was a local. He lives there and he has access to this particular spa, just being a local. This is where he meets people. Yeah. Well, this is where he talks to people.

Okay. And friendly guy, great guy. Great conversation other than the fact that we were both naked. He's listening right now. Potentially. Shout out to his Instagram. That would be appropriate.

Yeah, I didn't get that. I don't even know his name. So then, two days later. You didn't ask him, he's asking you all these questions, you didn't ask him any of them. No, no, I learned what he does for a living. But you don't know his name. I can't remember his first name.

He's just, he's from Canada. He comes down to this, he's in finance. A few days later, you're telling me you ran into him. Two days later, I go back, I get a day pass for the spa because I'm like, boy, I gotta get back in that sauna. I love it, love the steam room. Love the conversation. So now I'm sitting out next to the plunge pool,

in a robe, not naked at this point because it's a little different when you're out there next to the pool. There he is again. He comes out to the jacuzzi, gets naked, gets into the jacuzzi. He's five feet from me. I'm like, is he gonna talk to me now? He's seen me naked.

I told him the name of the show. He says, I watched your show. Yeah? And was he talking about the sauna? No, he was talking, he was like the one with the guy from Walking Dead with the pudding. Oh yeah. He said, is that what you do every time?

I was like, no, we don't eat pudding every time. He's like, no, do you have like a guest? I was like, well, I kind of explained. Yeah. But the whole time I'm just thinking, did you think of me differently when you watched the show and you'd seen me naked? That would have been a good question.

But I didn't ask that. Oh you didn't? You felt weird, man. See, you gotta go full boring. You're saying that I should have just completely exposed myself and not worried and just. He was right. He doesn't care. He was right. He doesn't care.

He was right. He doesn't care. This is my problem. You were not fully developed in your nakedness. I gotta get more naked more often. You gotta get more naked more often. You gotta be conversational. Assignment taken.

Challenge accepted. You gotta do it. When I was in a similar situation, I was the first person in the hot tub area and I just had my robe on. This was before getting a massage in Puerto Vallarta. And I got naked, I get in the hot tub, turn on the bubbles, it's a big one.

Probably could have held eight to 10 men. I was the only one in it. And then I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna express my dominance over this place. I thought you were gonna say express your anus gland or something like that. I didn't know what was coming. And I just, this was before my massage,

I'm just loosening up, so instead of sitting on the bench seat at the edge, I get in the middle of the round's hot tub and I just proceed to do stretching and yoga. Just there, like warrior pose. And then guys start coming in and then I'm like. You're stretching? I'm stretching.

I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna be the weird naked guy standing in the middle of the hot tub stretching. Yeah, that's weird. And no one's gonna join me and nobody joined me or had a conversation with me. So I recommend that next time. That's a way to shut it all down real fast.

Yeah, next time you're naked and don't wanna talk to somebody, just go into the warrior pose. Okay. Like that. I'll do that. I gotta, we gotta extend the time a little bit because I gotta tell you one more thing that happened. Grand Canyon was awesome.

I'm gonna take my time a little bit because I gotta tell you one more thing that happened. Grand Canyon was awesome. Our tour guide for, we took another tour which was like, it was called a Jeep tour because we were in kind of a Jeep but it wasn't that big. Kind of a Jeep tour. It was on Travelocity they said,

you gotta get Werner, he's a German guy. So I requested him, he was awesome. I mean, you gotta read your Travelocity reviews before you start booking tours and stuff like that because you probably could have heard about your Curly guy. Yep. And you should leave a review to that end but everyone was recommending this guy, he was awesome.

Teaching the kids about geology, how the Grand Canyon was made, taking us to secret spots. Right. Seeing elk, just wild elk. You saw elk? Yeah, because we went on these dirt roads leading up to the Grand Canyon, you could stop and see elk around there.

It was awesome. Hmm. And then we're talking to him and he's like, "'Well, are you leaving? "'When are you leaving?' I told him, well, we're gonna stop in the RV halfway getting back to LA. And he said, well, you should take,

depending on where you're gonna stop, you should take old Route 66 for a little bit and go to the Grand Canyon Caverns. The Grand Canyon Caverns. Grand Canyon Caverns. Never heard of that. Never heard of that. Some of the largest dry caverns, never heard of that, never heard of that. Some of the largest dry caverns in North America,

maybe in the world. Typically a cavern is wet like the Linville Caverns and all that type of stuff where it's like stalactites and stalagmites. Dripping. We decided to take him up on his offer. So first of all, I'm driving on Route 66 in an RV. I am dadding so hard.

I just felt awesome. I had cleaned out the dookie chute the morning before we left and I did it right. Nothing spewed anywhere it shouldn't go. Good. I was wearing gloves. You got it. I had on a hat and a jacket and boots

and all the dookie ran out of our RV and the pee and the shower and sink water. Hold on, so you were dookie-ing in there? Yes, I did not take your advice. Very early on I found out I'm not gonna stop and go on public toilets when I have one right here. And I had these tablets. I told you not to do this.

And I called your bluff, buddy, because I did some research and I got these blue tablets that you put down in the tank before you start doing number two down there. And I couldn't, there was no stopping the kid from doing it. And I had a little stomach issue. Oh gosh, all right. And so I just, the convenience was unmatched.

And it worked, you didn't smell dookie any time? It worked, it worked. Okay, well. Had to empty that thing out twice on our excursion. Well, so much for not dookieing in an RV. It was fine. It's the first thing I'm gonna do next time I get on one. It really was fine.

You had a bad experience in that trailer and it doesn't translate to my experience. But we had a bad experience with that RV in going across the country 2008, 10 years ago. That's true. And in a bus one time. Gotta put the tablets in. I don't know how long you can drive on Route 66.

I mean it's like a two lane road before there was a four lane road. If you've seen cars, you understand that like, this was like the way, man, that you could take your car and go across America from Chicago to LA. So in this particular part, we detoured off Highway 40 in order to go to Grand Canyon Caverns. And being on Route 66 was pretty fun.

It was pretty awesome. It was kinda desolate. It's what you think it would be. And Google Maps tells me, okay, pull over here, here's Grand Canyon Caverns, and it's just no signage, it's just a dirt road, and I'm like, this is, and there's a dumpster with trash everywhere. This is the largest dry caverns in America,

and this is what the entrance looks like? And I was at the wrong entrance. Oh good. But then I get back on the road and I go another mile and I'm like, it just looks like a gas station but it says Grand Canyon Caverns Inn and then you drive through this thing and it looks like it's still 1960, like old service station

and then you drive about two miles down this like patchy paved road and you get to just a one story building with like four or five cars parked in front of it and it says in huge letters on the side of the building, Grand Canyon Caverns, 2018. Come to find. Gives you the year. I come to find out that every year they change the year on the front of it

because people like to take pictures in front of it. There's like a huge dinosaur that looks like it's from a miniature golf set, miniature golf location. Of course. This is like a straight out of 1960s tourist trap. Right. And it hasn't, they don't have enough money to like change it that much.

And I'm pretty excited. The kids are looking at me like, where are we? Christy's like thinking, if we go in here, are we ever gonna come out? And this is not the caverns. This is just the building. Get in there, there's some people eating at the diner, like eating the biggest pieces of pie I've ever seen.

And then there's a gift shop that has the saddest 30-year-old knickknacks you could ever imagine. And like magnets from, there was a magnet from Topsail Island, North Carolina that you could buy. It was weird, man. They were like stuffed, scarecrowish type people. You know if you took like country clothes and put them, like stuffed them full of hay,

like a scarecrow, like put them up on chairs up above. It's hard to explain but it's just weird, man. Yeah, I don't understand. You don't wanna get locked in here at night. And then you go to the far end of it and there's an elevator and you can pay, you pay your money and I paid the money, went back into the parking lot and ate our lunch

and then they gave us poker chips and with these poker chips we were able to get in the elevator with a tour guide and go down 200 feet, 2,000 feet, go down 2,000 feet into these caverns. What? And we start hearing the story of 1927. A guy was riding his horse and it was pouring down rain and he stops

on the way to where he was going to like under a tree and he realizes that all the rain water's running in this hole and it's not filling up. And he comes back the next day with his brother, his little brother I think, and he ties a rope around him and lowers him. Always lower the brother, not yourself. The younger brother with a lantern down into this cavern.

The guy thinks that he finds gold, there's like all types of shiny ores down there and he thinks he's hit the jackpot and they buy like all this land up while they're like getting samples of what it is they've got, which turns out to be nothing, except a big hole. Actually a pretty huge hole. Sounds like it.

So he starts charging like 25 cents to lower people on a rope down into this thing in order to just explore these caverns, which we're now walking around in, and it's like, there's no stalactites or stalagmites. I mean, millions of years ago, like the limestone deposits were eaten away as water started to run through this thing and it formed these huge caverns, which fresh air comes in from the Grand Canyon.

From the bottom. Yeah. And then comes up to the top. Yeah. There's no water flowing through this thing now. It's sealed off. So it's dry. And nothing can live in there. And they found like a bobcat that died in the,

they did some carbon dating on it and it was, they kept it down in there. They said this bobcat died in like the mid 1800s. And it still was like preserved like a piece of taxidermy because there's nothing happening down there. There's a hotel room down there. No. There's a, well it's just a,

there's a section where they build a deck in this big open room and there's a bed and a television and they're renting out as a room. To this day? Yeah. I love this. I knew you would love it. I love underground stuff.

I knew you would love it. And then they'll do like spelunking. Look, Jacob has a picture there. That's like the huge main room. There's all these different rooms. Oh my gosh, how did I not know about that? I mean it's all kind of touristy and janky. Like they built a bar down there there and you can pay to like.

Heck yeah. And the whole time they're giving. The good old days when you could just find a hole in the ground and build a bar down there without somebody coming along and saying, you can't do that. Oh, and they'll also give you spelunking gear and send you down into like these little holes

where you can like shimmy around on your belly and go into other rooms, rooms if you can make it. And there was this one family doing that. How many other people were here? The mom was too scared. There were like five other people in our 45 minute tour and there were maybe eight cars in the parking lot. How much did the tour cost?

For five of us, I think it ended up being 90 bucks. Wow, that's good. There was a mom who had the spelunking gear on, but she wasn't in there. I was like, did you come out of that hole? She was like, I chickened out, I didn't wanna go down in that one. And then she looked at me again and she was like,

are you on the internet? She's like, you have to wait here until my daughter comes out of this hole. But you weren't naked at the time. No, I was fully clothed. I took the tour clothed. Good, good idea. I'm just bragging a little bit that I was recognized

thanks to my internet celebrity from a mom of a girl who I had to wait to come out of the hole in order to take a picture with me in this dry cavern. We get to this one place and they have a replica, a hairy replica of a giant prehistoric sloth. This place is amazing. Because they found the complete skeleton of a sloth. This place is amazing. Because they found the complete skeleton of a sloth down in there and they sent it to a museum

and in exchange for giving them the skeleton, the museum sent them a hairy replica of the sloth which they put in the cavern. That's better than the bones, man. And you can see where it was actually a baby giant sloth. Oh, okay. But it was still probably, I mean, 15 feet tall.

What? And it was, you can, they said if you look up there, you can see where it scratched the walls. Trying to get out. Trying to get out. Very slowly. And then it died. Yeah, slowly scratching the walls. Trying to get out. Trying to get out. Very slowly. And then it died. Yeah, slowly scratching the walls.

And they know that because they found the claw, which they have on display in a case, up above along with. This is like the coolest place in America. A Native American flautist who did an audio recording down there, so there's like pictures of that guy. Did you get that CD? No, I took a picture of it.

Oh good. Ben Blessing, I think is the guy's name. Ben Blessing? I took a picture of it because I was like, we gotta put that character in a movie. And then I started to think, this whole thing is a movie. Whole thing? Is that the name of the movie?

Whole thing. What I'm unabashedly pitching to you, I wanna take you there, Rhett. I don't want you to believe me yet, but we need to turn this cavern into a movie. And it's gonna be set in two different times. I'm dead serious about this. Okay.

It's gonna cut back and forth between The discovery and the present day. The discovery of the cave and the present day when this washed up tourist trap off Route 66 is, they do weddings down there too by the way. Oh gosh. And then there's like theater seating that they took out of the American Film Institute Theater

in Hollywood and the tour guide is like, and all these celebrities have sat in these theater seats right here and you can buy two of them for $1,500. What? They're selling them. They're selling everything. I don't think it's just two periods. I think it's.

They're trying to make money. I think it's throughout the ages. No, I think it cuts back and forth. You can't miss the 60s, though. I think the story is about now how it's a relative inherited this place and has got to make it work in present day. But it keeps cutting back to his ancestors

that discovered the place. I think there's a movie in there. I'll be the guy lower down in the rope. And we show the movie, it's a one theater release. And that. We only show the movie in the hole. Well that's. You have to go to the hole to see the movie

about the hole. But you can watch the whole movie. That's what we call it, the hole movie. I feel like you're selling my idea a little short. No, no, I think it's great. I'm selling it deep, man. I'm selling it 2,000 feet down because. No, I think this is a, I think it's,

I mean it has comedic elements but I don't think it's, it's like tonally I think this movie is like, I don't know why but it's like that Bernie movie with Jack Black that we saw that's like, it's so strange, like everything is so strange. It's such a, it's a world that I think we can just sink our teeth into. I love the idea, I think that,

it's like that movie we saw at Sundance that Wiener Dog, and I hated Wiener Dog, by the way, the movie. Yeah, it was horrible. But it followed the Wiener Dog from owner to owner, and I just didn't like the way it was done. I know some people like that filmmaker, it's just, I can't get into it. But I just wonder if there's a way to, I've seen a movie like this where they actually told

a convincing, like a gripping convincing story around a location. You're talking about a dog's purpose. No, no, no, no, no. Well, I need to take you there to experience it. Oh, you know what it is? What? Oh gosh.

You're talking about The Giving Tree. No, no, no. Which we should adapt into a movie, I guess. Again, this is better than Wiener Dog. I think it's called Ghost Story. It's got, is it Casey Affleck? See the one, the controversial actor? Yeah.

And um. And then I think the woman in it is the Olsen twins' sister? I can't remember. Anyway, but it's about a location, it's about a house. And everybody who goes through it? But it starts back in the way, way, way, way back, like not hunter-gatherer, but like frontier, but this guy, he's a ghost and he's there the whole time and it's weird.

There is a ghost down there. See, there is. You can have, there's a ghost tour that they do at night and you can spend the night in there. Originally, when he would lower somebody in on a rope after charging 25 cents, he would come back and get them later unless he forgot, which he would frequently do.

You'd be down there with a lantern, he just wouldn't drop the rope. Till the next day. Hold on, hold on. I'm talking now about how deep. 1927, 2,000 feet. You hold onto a rope and he brings you up 2,000 feet? Yeah, originally.

The very first tourist. I'm flashing back. He has lights down there. No, you would go down with a lantern and matches. I definitely wanna go. I think there could be a movie about it. It's so kitschy, you know? Like that whole tourist trap type thing

but it's legitimately a geological feat. I mean it's like, but it's suffering. It's not doing that great, you know? I don't know why not, man. Because I wanna go right now. I think if we made the movie, it really turned the place around. Maybe we buy it.

Turn that whole upside down into a pillar. And that doesn't really work that way. Nope. The kids, Lando loved it. The other kids were, they were okay with it. Okay with it. Yeah. Maybe with it. Yeah. Maybe we could.

It's the movie that will change their mind. Make some updates to it. Right. I got a couple ideas. Laser show, one of them. Laser show down there? Any, I've never, you can tell me one location on Earth where a laser show didn't make it more exciting.

Then I'll buy you a laser show. Okay, I'll take you up on that offer. Been to Stone Mountain, Georgia? Laser show. Laser show. Red Rocks? Laser show. Grand Canyon Caverns? Not yet. Yeah, they need one later, show.

TBDLS. All right guys, I took a risk in telling you about my movie idea, don't steal it, just believe in us. Don't go make that movie, we will come after you with everything we've got. Right. Like the two horsemen of the apocalypse. I'll be on a white horse and Link will be in an RV.

He's not really a horse. It's gonna take him a while to get going. He's gotta back out of his driveway, but once he gets going, buddy, he's got all kinds of momentum, lots of legal authority. You gotta watch out. We'll speak at you next week. Thanks for hanging out with us

as we tell each other about our vacations. Yeah.