Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 141: Oreos Vs. Double Stuf (Taking Calls) | Ear Biscuits Ep. 141

Episode Date: April 30, 2018

Oreos are like sculpting the statue of David. You can chisel away but you can’t add. Listen to more sagely advice from Rhett & Link as they do their first ever call-in episode and help settle some beef between some Ear Biscuiteers over the phone. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are going to dive deep into some conflict. And you know what? Then we're gonna surface with resolutions. And it's not conflict between the two of us,

though that may happen, Rhett, over the course of this. Anything goes, man. We have asked you, loyal Ear Biscuit-eer listeners and other Mythical Beasts on social media to let us know about disagreements that you have with a friend, a roommate, sibling, a loved one. Significant other. And definitely that.

And we're not just gonna be answering these questions. We're not gonna just be reading these questions. We're gonna do something that we've talked about doing for a long time, we've never actually done it. We're gonna try it tonight. Uh-huh. We're gonna take calls. Ha!

We're gonna take some calls! Let's see how that is. Now the way we did this, just in case you're like. We met Larry King. Yeah. He was on our show. He inspired us. And you know, he did that for Millennium. But before we,

Millennia. Before we met Larry King, we wanted to do this. Now just a technical clarification before you start being like, what's the number? Well A, this isn't live. You already know that. You're a thoughtful person. B, what we did is we took your questions on the internet

and then we reached out directly to a handful of people and those people will be calling in. So that's how it works. Yeah, it's just more, you know, if you're gonna help somebody solve a problem, I want them to say, yes, you did it. And then we can say, good luck with that. Yeah, yeah.

But we can feel like, you know, you can feel like they're, that they're gonna take our advice. The thing is that. As opposed to just putting it out into the ether and maybe it's helping, maybe it's not. I gotta say, I got some reservations about this because I don't feel like we're qualified counselors. I don't feel like we're really.

We're making it interpersonal. We're like really bringing them into the convo. We may give someone advice this week that ends a relationship. I mean, think about that. This is the potential that we hold right now. Well, the end of a relationship is the potential for the beginning of another one.

That's always true. Shouldn't have said that now, I should have said that at the end of like if something was really going south. And I don't, you know, I'm kind of, I'm ready to get into it. So let's take our first call, let's get into some conflict. Oh gosh, nervous.

Hello, welcome to Ear Biscuits, who do we have here? How's it going? It's going good, is that your name? How's it going? Is that all one word? No, Shannon, sorry. Hello, Shannon. Shannon, welcome to the show.

Now you are having some sort of conflict that we might be able to help with, what is it? We are actually. We. We've been having this discussion. Who's we? Intense discussion. Who is we? I'm her husband zach oh yeah we've been having a debate let's say for uh about 10 years oh wow and we need some help okay yeah so so the

so the debate is okay according to international standards, Monday is the first day of the week. So when I say next week, I mean starting on Monday. But Zach is absolutely firm in his belief that the week starts on Sunday. So we have this debate on which day the week starts, Sunday or Monday, and I'm definitely team Monday. And, hmm, how long have you been at this debate? Ten years, I said.

Honestly, well, no, actually it's longer than that because it was probably in 98 when we started dating. That would be 20 years. Yeah, 20. Oh, wow. 20 years. It only feels like 10. Hey, good answer, Zach. That's good.

And where are you guys located? Well, they're not in the same place right now because they can't stand to be around each other. No, I'm just trying to have all the facts here. Yeah. Where in the world are you? We're in Novi, Michigan. Novi, Michigan, okay.

It's like southeast Michigan. Now in Novi, I just want, are there, you still have seven days, right? I mean it's, I just wanna make sure. Yeah, seven whole days. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Okay, that just wanna make sure. Yeah, seven whole days. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Okay, that was an interesting way.

I don't know if that's a tell as to how you're gonna answer this question because you just started your week on Tuesday. I didn't wanna give either of them, how intense is this debate gotten between the two of you? You seem pretty jovial at the moment. Are you putting on your best behavior for your biscuits? Well, sure.

But I mean, we've gotten intense with the discussion to the point of like, you know, having problems with scheduling. Oh, so it's ruined plans. Like you're saying, you're saying, well, we'll do it next week. And then it's, you know, for Zach, that means tomorrow? Oh, oh, say if it's Thursday of that week,

he'll say, we have plans next week. What he really means is this weekend. Mm, mm. So for example, if it's Thursday, if it's,, if it's Thursday and we've got plans for three days from now, I'll say we have plans for next weekend

because that is the next time it is a weekend. But to her, next weekend means skip a weekend and then the following weekend. The following weekend. This like phantom weekend. No.

Yeah, this is trouble. This is troubling me just hearing you begin to argue about it again. Okay, because I think I have my answer, but before I give it, I wanna give everyone their fair shake. You said, Shannon, according to international standards, the week starts on Monday. Yeah.

I don't know what international standards are you referring to? There's literally international standards committees. There is. I looked it up. Wikipedia, you know, so that means it's true. Okay. Where are these committees located

and who do they consist of? Oh, I'm not sure. You think she's reading the Wikipedia footnotes? No, she finds what she wants, the answer she wants, and then she's like, here it is. She's not digging deeper if it's what. No, but I say it's generally noted by people. Like if you went out to the street and you asked someone,

they would probably say the beginning of the week is Monday. I doubt that they would say Sunday because people, you know, they start their work week on Monday too. So you have to consider that. Right. I think there's a couple of things complicating this. So just to lay them out here. So, yes, I would agree with you, Shannon, that generally speaking, our work week starts on a Monday.

generally speaking, our work week starts on a Monday and I think that the situation that Zach outlined in which he was talking, it was the Thursday and then something was happening on this coming Sunday and he says next weekend. Now we are in, this is a confusing place. Right, if he would have said next week, that would be consistent with his position that the next week starts on Sunday.

However, if he said next weekend. There are two things that I just, from a technical perspective, I will say are in Zach's favor, just to lay it out there. Number one, if the week does begin on a Sunday, and in most calendars, especially American calendars, they go from Sunday to Saturday, right? So if you just look at a grid on a calendar,

typically they start on a Sunday. So it may not be according to international standards, but American calendars, and you are both in America because last time I checked, Michigan is within the American borders. Then what that would lead me to believe is that Zach considers Sunday and Saturday to be weekends, meaning as if they were bookends.

So if I have a collection of books and I put them up on the shelf and I put a bookend on each end of those books, then that is the weekend according to Zach. Well let's ask him. Is that what you're saying, Zach? Yeah. Because I did not even get that.

Since you're agreeing with me, I'm gonna totally go along with it. And I have one more thought which I think is a lock. Well hold on, so you're. I'm not saying I agree with you, Zach, I'm just trying to articulate your argument so that we can all be on the same page. So you're commandeering Rhett's argument

because it benefits you, but you're saying it wasn't. Your argument only makes sense if you see it that way. So the fact that you're now just taking it makes me begin to doubt your footing. Sunday is the first weekend, and then of the same week, the other end of that week is Saturday. So those are the two week-ends.

I've never thought of it that way. And so in that book, in that instance, two weeks have four weekends, which nobody actually thinks that, Zach. But you know what, that's cool. That's a cool thought. It's a cool way to think about it. In theory, but in practice,

I guess it's getting you into trouble. But again, he's not, that's not what he was thinking. He's saying, well, now that you explained it that way, I'm gonna start describing it that way. Yes, and Jacob has just, just to confirm what Shannon said, Jacob has just brought this up. According to International Standard,

that's the ISO, International Organization for Standardization, that's as standard as it gets. 8601, Monday is the first day of the week. It is followed by Tuesday. Thank you. Well, but why don't calendars say that? I think that's the problem here and that is what has led to the confusion

is that the calendar does not represent this. But I think that's the problem here and that is what has led to the confusion is that the calendar does not represent this. But I think that most people, when they say this weekend, they're talking about Saturday and Sunday together and then. I know and that's, again, I think that's leading us off the argument which is not, we're not talking about whether, what the term this weekend or next weekend means. We're talking about.

Yeah we are because if it's the weekend, then Saturday and Sunday is the end of that week, which would mean that Monday would be the beginning of said next week. And typically, I mean, I think most people conceptually, when you look at the packet, you got, I feel like you've got two packets when you look at a week, you've got Monday through Friday,

which we call the weekdays, and then we've got the weekend. Those are two separate packets, they're not three packets as Zach would lead you to believe. It's two packets of information, the weekdays and the weekend. I have found it psychologically beneficial to think of a weekend, and by that I mean a unit of a Saturday and a Sunday that are back to back.

Correct. As one weekend. Right. I tend to think of them as two separate entities. One, the end of the week, and the other, Sunday, the beginning of the next week, because. Oh what? Yes.

You're on Zach's side. Absolutely. But his argument that he just used is that if I told you that we were doing something on Sunday and I said next weekend, would you think I was talking about Sunday? Would you? No, but if he said next week, I would say,

okay, Sunday is up for grabs in that statement. But here's why, but just practically speaking, your life will be better if you think of it this way just because everybody looks forward to their weekend, no matter what two days it happens to be if you work a weird schedule, but let's just say it's Saturday and Sunday like for most people.

I like to think that Friday night and Saturday is just like wrapping up a week and doing what I wanna do, which really means doing what my kids wanna do now. Right, they control us. But then Sunday, you turn around and it's like, it's a fresh start that I still have freedom, that I don't have to, I'm not obligated by work. Even though I love my work, I still,

there's a joy in not being obligated to go into work. I mean, it doesn't matter how great your work is, you're gonna feel that way. Well, at least that's how I feel. So Sunday becomes the start of a new week that still is just open and free versus if you mentally think of the beginning of your week as being Monday, that makes Mondays even worse.

But if my day started 24 hours early and I had free reign of the place, it's called Sunday. My week has already started, I'm 24 hours in. I'm feeling good. But if it's all started on a Monday, that's starting on a real low point when you gotta drag yourself out of bed and go to work. So it's very helpful for me to think of it that way,

psychologically, but when communicating. Amen. And plus the calendar says that. You're on Shannon's side? Okay, yes I am. Now but I think ultimately without rehashing my argument which was. Next week starts, every week starts on a Sunday.

I don't disagree with, I'm not saying I necessarily take issue with a week starting on Sunday. I take issue with Zach's first argument, which when he used it in practice, talking about next weekend. Yeah, I'm not with that. So I think, here's what I'll say. I.

Your whole bookend thing is bunk. It was interesting, it was fun, but Zach didn't even think that until you said it. But what Zach said only makes sense. Only makes sense. And it only makes sense from your perspective. Okay, are you saying that Sunday isn't the weekend? No, Sunday is, like you said, the bookends, I'll buy that

because otherwise, everyone, if there's a weekend and that's the end of the week, then people would call Monday the week start if that was the first day of the week. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, so what I'm saying is, according to Zach and Link's position, that if you admit that the week starts on Sunday,

you're admitting that Saturday and Sunday are not the same weekend. You cannot, that is indisputable. You cannot say that that's not true. You're saying that- No, no, no. It's a paradox. It's a beautiful paradox. Oh gosh, it's a paradox.

Okay, so if it is a paradox, because we haven't cleared anything up, I think that you guys have to adopt a different system and that is why we have dates. You guys are going to have to use definitive dates. You're going to have to say on June 8th. Like you can't, you guys have to drop the term week. You have to drop the term weekend.

But you can still use days. You can still say this Sunday. You can say next Sunday. Yes, you could say days, but I think the foolproof way is to communicate in numbers only and maybe just to begin to communicate in numbers exclusively in all your relationship endeavors. But just, I agree with that, that is our advice,

but I just wanna clear up my position, which is that a weekend consists of the end of one week and the beginning of another one. That is called a weekend because they're both ends. The ends come together. The end of the current week and the beginning of the one, that is called a weekend. Because they're both ends, the ends come together. The end of the current week and the beginning of the next week coming together makes a weekend. It's two butted up against each other.

It's the beginning and it's- Which ends on a Sunday though. No, no, it ends on a Saturday and begins on a Sunday. It's two different weeks in, they kiss. Two weeks kiss on Saturday night at midnight. So in two weeks there's four weekends according to you. Yeah, and I didn't even know that, thank you. And so that doesn't make any sense.

The application of your argument breaks down. Well, they have week, a Saturday and a Sunday are each different opposing ends of different weeks. You know what we'll talk. But together they are a weekend. We'll talk about it this weekend. How about that? And does that confuse you?

According to you, it does. No it doesn't. No, this weekend is the Saturday and Sunday together. It is a weekend. Okay, Shannon and Zach. Which happens to be two. How do you guys feel about, as opposed to trying to come to terms,

because Lincoln obviously can't, what do you think about just communicating with dates? I think that's a good plan. I can live with that. Okay, good, okay. And everything's gonna be okay? The marriage will continue? I think so.

I think you saved their marriage, you know? I feel so good now. All right guys, thanks for being our first ever call in to Ear Biscuits. You've created problems in my own mind that I didn't know existed. You created a weekend paradox. You freaking, it's contagious.

Yeah. Good luck with that. We just doubled your weekend. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we just doubled your weekend. Yeah, that is potentially the upside of this. Thanks guys, enjoy Michigan. It'll get warm at some point.

Oh yeah, I doubt that. You can say good luck with that because I already said it. Okay, good luck with that. Thanks so much guys. All right, we've got some more calls that we are gonna take and based on how well that one went, boy, my mind is blown.

You talked yourself into a frickin' paradise, man. I don't know, I don't know what I think. Again, that's why dates exist, because of this type of confusion. Let's get back into, I wanna just go with another call. Yeah, of course, yeah, let's do it. Let's take our next call. Let's do back into, I wanna just go with another call. Yeah, of course, yeah. Let's do it, let's take our next call. Let's do another one.

Hi, Rhett and Link. Hello, welcome to AirBiscuits. Who do we have here? I'm Madison. I'm her husband, Sam. Sam and Madison. So do you go by Maddie and do you go by Samuel? No, we go by Madison and Sam actually.

Yeah, that's why they introduced themselves as Madison and Sam. Okay, I respect that. I just wanted to clarify. Okay, where are you guys located? We're in Mississippi. About 10 miles east of Jackson. Okay.

Where are your accents? I know, we've only been here for less than two years. Okay, got it. Give it time. We're gonna get them, yeah. You can't escape it. Okay, and you guys are married. Yep.

And how long have you been married? Almost three years. Okay, and what are you arguing about? So the gist of it is we discovered this pretty soon after we were first married, but I think that the original Oreo has the optimal cream to cookie ratio. Okay. And Sam thinks that double-stuffed Oreos improve on the Oreo, and I think that they're worse.

This is a big deal. How long have you been arguing about this? For you two, I guess. Pretty much the whole time we've been married. Every time we get Oreos. Which is how often? Probably about twice a month, maybe. Oh, wow, you guys are really into Oreos.

Y'all go through a bag of Oreos every two weeks. And so what do you do? The problem is when I shop, I'm just too impulsive, and so I see them and I just throw them in there. Okay. So I probably shop about twice a month. Probably that's more accurate. And so what do you do?

Do you alternate now? What's the plan now? So usually we get a case of each. A case? Yeah. You getting a case of Oreos? It's like a Costco situation. Okay.

How many, you eat them for meals? Yes. Or what do they call this, fleas? Yeah, fleas. But yeah, fleas. Yeah. A package. Yeah. Okay.

Or Sam will just get Chips Ahoy and I'll get regular Oreos. Okay, well that clouds the argument. So we won't even consider Chips Ahoy. So, okay, so right now, Sam prefers the double stuff, you prefer the original. You get separate boxes, which is, you know, that can be a little difficult on the wallet, now you're buying a lot of Oreos.

Right, right. Can you each just give your, can you just give your position for why you think what you think? Well, first of all, can I say that I don't, it's not technically difficult on the wallet if you're, you know, you buy twice as many but it takes twice as long to eat them.

Yeah, but they're not fresh. Oreos, this is why this is a very important thing. They don't sell a pack that's half and half as far as I know. And Oreos change significantly 72 hours after opening based on my experience. Oreos change significantly 72 hours after opening, based on my experience. Is this true based on your experience? They get mushy.

Yeah. They get mushy? Yeah, they change significantly. I knew there was a reason I didn't eat Oreos. And so I think that's why, because you could just say, well, who cares? Just buy separate ones. But I think- That's what I did say.

But okay, all right. But I think the problem is the freshness factor. We gotta go deeper then, we gotta go deeper. So if you could just outline your argument for your position. All right, well, I think that the best part of the Oreo is the chocolate cookie part. And I guess to illustrate this,

I might buy a box of just the chocolate parts of the Oreo, but I wouldn't buy a box of just the cream part of the Oreo. And the cream does add, it does add to the Oreo, it adds texture, it adds flavor, but too much of it is is too much and i think that the the ratio and the original oreo is is perfect okay and sam i i'm like the exact opposite like i'm always very disappointed when on airplanes they hand out the cookies and it's just those like fake oreos that are just the chocolate you know oh yeah and i i like i can eat frosting out of a can with a spoon and so to me the chocolate only serves as a delivery package for the frosting and so the more frosting the better and then and then the other

thing is is honestly like it's kind of like, just because it's there, I have to, you know, it's bigger. Like, oh, double stuff. I have to get it. It's kind of like, I would go to, when we would go to Buffalo Wild Wings, I would always, I used to always just get Blazin', even though I cannot handle Blazin' Wings.

Okay. But I had to get them because- You're an overachiever. No, I'm just dumb. Well, hold on now, in your defense, let me just say that I am, I can relate to the way that you see things in terms not just with the double stuff,

but like I'm the guy that gets the new sandwich that's available at a fast food restaurant. Like if something is advertised, if something's on the end of the scale, I'm like, I'm here, why not go to the end of the scale? If it's a burger and there's a single and there's a double, why not get the double? I certainly get the double.

But I take this to an extreme and I gotta say that I'm a double stuffed guy when it comes to Oreos as well. But I do recognize, I feel like these are two distinct philosophies, which is really interesting because I do feel like they're, and I respect the Madison argument, which is that this is the original Oreo,

they made it that way for a reason. The people at Oreo invented a cookie that, while it didn't win, it didn't even win the snack bracket of much madness because we're not huge fans of Oreos, it was the overall number one seed. Lots of people love it. And there's a reason that it is what it is. But I will say, there's also a reason

that Double Stuff exists and that's because the people spoke. You know, I think that, I feel like I'm pretty impartial here because I don't like either. But I do believe, I mean I don't dislike them, I love them in milkshakes, I've talked about this on the Munch Madness, I love them in all the forms where they're added to things

like the cookies and cream of anything is awesome. As an ingredient. Cookies and cream. And I don't hate them, I wouldn't gag if I ate one, I mean I don't gag much anyway but I wouldn't, I wouldn't complain if I was eating either one of them. But if I had to choose, I feel like I'm in a good impartial position. I will also say that while some people out there

may be thinking, well, this is just a matter of preference, even without the staleness, which was a very compelling point earlier, I will say that we are operating on the assumption that there is a right choice and that they need to adopt it. And I believe, I have what I believe is. This is not just an issue of preference.

I have what I believe is the correct answer. But can I ask, Madison, do you ever do that thing where you take the Oreo of your preference, the original, and you twist it apart and just eat the frosting out of the middle? Or are you, how do you feel about the frosting part? At all, you seem to not want it there at all. I used to do that, but I haven't done it for years.

Have you ever twisted it apart and then scraped off and not consumed the frosting and just eaten the dark wafers. No, I've never done that. Are you lying? Don't be truthful. I'm being truthful. I've never not eaten the frosting.

Okay, okay, because if she would've told us that, then her, you know, so we can't even listen to her anymore. Yeah. She's scraping off the frosting and just eating the. Yeah, yeah, but she respects the original Oreo. Okay, guys, I have what I think is a good solution for this and I do not think that it is you two deciding on who's right or who's wrong.

I have a solution too in my mind and I just wanna tell you that no matter what you say, I'm gonna say what mine is and we may agree. I think we may have the same answer. Okay. I think. But I'm not gonna be stealing your idea cause I'm gonna recognize and already have mine. Okay. I think that this Oreo stalemate,

no pun intended, don't stale, is the perfect opportunity, the perfect opportunity for you guys to connect and appreciate one another's perspective. And I think we can do this right now. Here's what I think you should do. I think that you should not be buying both every time you go.

I believe that you should be alternating regular double stuff, regular double stuff, and I think you both should be consuming, maybe at a lower rate, when it's not the one of your preference, but as an opportunity for you to Sacrificial love. Basically inhabit the perspective of your spouse.

And I think we could do that right now. I would like you, Sam, to say what you appreciate about the original Oreo. And then Madison, I would like you to tell Sam what you appreciate about the Double Stuff Oreo. And then I think you can put this into practice every two weeks and you can repeat these things to each other but let's just establish the mantra.

And as beautiful as this is before you do it, I will say that this is not my advice so I think I can rescue you but you know what? I want you to go through it, Rhett and Sam because I think it's a beautiful exercise that will bring more wholeness to your relationship. I want you to build a bridge. And I think that's a beautiful thing. I bring more wholeness to your relationship. I want you to build a bridge. And I think that's a beautiful thing.

I want you to build a bridge out of Oreos, of both kinds, towards one another. So try it, so try it right now, and the risk is low because if it fails, I have another solution. Okay. All right, Sam, you go first. So I think the original Oreo is more durable because I think you can break it up and crumble it easier.

It becomes an ingredient easier just because the thickness of the double stuff is a bit unwieldy and clumsy. I think it's just perfect as just for dunking in the milk and eating whole. And can you say, and Madison, I appreciate that you see things that way. And Madison, I appreciate that you see things that way. Okay. Thank you. Great. Very nice. And can you say, Madison, you know what?

I almost am tempted to prefer Oreos your way just because I love you so much. Not quite, but almost. I'm almost not quite tempted to prefer the original Oreo because I love you. Oh that's beautiful. Okay and Madison what do you have to say to Sam? I can appreciate that the Double Stuff Oreo is bigger

and so it can fill you up faster that the Double Stuff Oreo is bigger and so it can fill you up faster and it can satisfy you more quickly. She's digging pretty deep. It's true though, it's true. Yeah, it is true. There's more to it. Yeah, two of them really goes a long way. Are there less in a sleeve though? Probably, it's true. Yeah, it is true. There's more to it. Yeah, two of them really goes a long way. Are there less in a sleeve though?

Probably, yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I can appreciate that you see things that way and I can try to learn to love the double stuffed Oreos because I love you. Oh wow, that is so, you gotta admit, that Oreo bridge is a beautiful thing.

I mean that's a, That was beautiful. Because it's gonna get more serious than Oreos, guys. Once that Oreo bridge gets a little milk on it though, Don't, don't bring, It's gonna come mushy. It's got rebar in it. It's gonna mush down.

It's got rebar. You're gonna get in the river. Okay. And when that happens, this is what you should do. I think that was a little bit of like a, bless your heart, double stuffed Oreos. Oh, he didn't take it. Oh, wow, because it's bigger, yeah, all right, okay.

Well, you guys have to work on your inhabiting the other person's perspective. No, you don't, you just have to do what I'm about to tell you. Okay, all right. That was a beautiful moment though, Rhett. Thanks for engineering that for them. I have an engineering degree.

I almost respect you more because of what you just did. Do you know when you're sculpting, from a, if you take, I'm talking like taking a large piece of rock and then you're chiseling away to create a wonderful David, perhaps. But in the shape of an Oreo. You know, the principle holds that, you know, you can chisel away, you can chisel away,

but you can't add. That's a problem. Once you. That's an artist who has failed. You gotta start over with a new slab. Yep. The same with the Oreo. That's an artist who has failed. You gotta start over with a new slab. The same with the Oreo. I would submit that you buy only the double stuffed Oreos

and then with each one as a communal exercise of your joint love for one another in a Jack Sprat type fashion, you sit down and you both, you each take one and you both twist off and then you, Madison, take a butter knife and then you just take off as much of that frosting as you don't want. Up to all of it because I know you're hiding

a secret desire to eat a frostless Oreo. And then you give it to Sam and he slathers it on because he would eat frosting out of the tub. And then he puts his cap back on, you put yours on, you lock eyes and you each eat your perfect Oreo. So he's got a triple, so Sam has a triple stuffed? Triple stuffed Oreo, Sam! Yeah, sounds good to me.

And it's a communal event. There's a pacing involved which decreases the overall consumption of Oreos. I respect your perspective. I think that maybe there's a melding of all these things together. It's a three week rotation, not to confuse things. Original, hold on, hold on.

I want them to respond to my advice before you start saying, well, mine's still gotta get in there. No. They did your thing. I don't think. They gave your speeches. They're not mutually exclusive. What do you guys think? My first thought is that sounds like a lot of work.

Yep. But. Anything worth having is worth scraping off and sharing with your mate. Oreos are not about a task though. Well, have you ever, you like Fun Dip? No, I hate it because it's work. Oh gosh. It's not fun at all to do work on my food, man.

But I think, I love the idea of the communal exercise. I'm trying to give you a compliment here. I'm trying to save your bad advice. It was good advice. I think it's a the idea of the communal exercise. I'm trying to give you a compliment here. I'm trying to save your bad advice. It was good advice. I think it's a one, two, three rotation. Sam, you're about to get more frosting, man. And he's still gonna get it. Are you gonna pipe in?

That sounds good to me. And plus there's variability I might get. I might get a quadruple stuff every once in a while. Right. But in this scenario, Madison loses her ability to get a regular Oreo, which I think is unfair. No she doesn't. Hold on, a double stuffed scraped with a butter knife

does not equal an original Oreo. That's bull crap, man. That is not original Oreo. You gotta be good at how you scrape. Oh gosh, you think they're Michelangelo. Like that's the whole point. Do regular, do double stuff, and then they do communal triple stuff every third week.

Yeah and then. And your relationship will last forever. Three months from now you tell us what you've settled on. Why is it that, okay, now we've had this question, which now is creating conflict between us. The first one confused me to no end. The second one made me angry. My overall solution incorporates your communal exercise

but recognizes the trouble that your communal exercise creates so I'm saying that you do the regular, you inhabit each other's perspective, you do the double, same thing, and then you do the triple, this weird thing. You might as well inhabit each other's perspective, you do the double, same thing, and then you do the triple, this weird thing. You might as well wash each other's feet that time too. While you're going through so much trouble, do something else.

Make it communal, make it sweet, play some weird music. Pop each other's black heads on your nose. Do that too and then I think you're gonna have a great relationship. And then maybe take the week off on the fourth week, no Oreos, so it's on a monthly rotation. Don't wanna burn out. Exactly.

All right guys, I feel really good about where we landed. Thank you. Okay, good luck with that. Thank y'all, I was about to talk to you. Yes, good luck. You're welcome. Good luck with that. Thank y'all, it was a blast to talk to you. Yes, thanks for calling in. Did she say that was a bus to talk to us? I think it was a blast. Oh, a blast.

A bless. I think she said it was a bless. I feel good about that solution. Yeah, I feel good about it. You know what, I'm not angry. Yeah, I thought your solution was- Exquisite. Yeah, I thought it was good,

but it needed to be incorporated into mine. You need to spread it out like more Oreo cream on. Let's take another one. Let's take another call. Let's not hold back. Hello, welcome to Ear Biscuits. Who do we have here? I am Jordan.

And I'm Matt. Hello, guys. Hey, how are ya? Good, you both seem happy, but there has to be something seething under the surface in your relationship that you need our help with. Is that true? Yes.

Ooh. It's really breaking us apart here. Okay. Where are you guys first, by the way? We're from Pennsylvania. Okay. And. That sounds cool.

Yeah, it's kinda cold over here. Oh, okay. He took that literally, I was just trying to say, hey, you guys seem hip, but you, it's also cold this time of year. And what is your relationship to one another? We are married. Okay. Okay, how long?

10 months. Oh, whoa, newlyweds. Newlyweds. Okay, this is extra dicey. I feel suddenly an extra level of pressure, I feel it was just applied to us because we're in the very early stages. Oh yeah. You're in make very early stages. Oh yeah.

You were in make or break territory. You guys have any kids yet? Two cats. Two cats. I'm sorry. Yeah. Okay. Did you guys mate and then, okay, you didn't make a cat.

No, no, no, yeah, they did. You didn't, you didn't. You didn't mate cats. No, that's a different yeah, they did. You didn't, you didn't. You didn't mate cats. No, that's a different, your cats don't mate either? I don't know, what am I talking about? Yeah, that's weird. All of it's weird. I know that like, you didn't birth a cat.

Yeah, yeah, but you did seem to ask that a second ago. I did. Okay. I didn't think about it first. Now that we got that out of the way that you didn't actually give birth to these cats, what is your conflict? Okay, so there's this thing about taco sauce.

He thinks that it needs to go on directly after the meat, but it obviously goes on top after all the toppings are on it. Taco sauce. And this discussion comes up every single time we have tacos. How often do you have tacos? Oh, good couple times a month at least, but boy it turns into quite the discussion and it needs resolved. Wow, okay.

Taco sauce, huh? So okay, so Matt, you say you put the meat in the tortilla, then you put the sauce. Jordan, you're saying sauce is the last step. And okay, and. And again, this is, someone may say, well, you could easily each do it your own way, but that hasn't worked for you guys.

You haven't been able to walk away and just say, you know what, to each their own. Yeah, but like, walk me through that dynamic a little bit. Like why do you both believe that we gotta get to the bottom of this? And by the way, we agree. There has to be an answer. Well, the taco sauce goes on top

to hold all the toppings down. Well, hold on. Now, I don't want you to get into your argument yet. I'm just saying some passersby might just say, hey, you know, you eat yours your way and let him eat his this other way and then just don't worry about it. But you guys.

There's only one way to eat a taco, that's the problem. Yeah, see, they're really digging in, which I completely understand. And I think the reason that this is such a big issue is because it's not saying that I don't like taco sauce, I do like taco sauce. You both want the same thing to happen in your mouth, right? You both want a taco with taco sauce and toppings.

Is that true? Is that an accurate representation of your feelings? I would say so. Okay, they both want the same things to happen in their mouths. That is why this is an important issue because you're 100% right because you don't like tomatoes on your taco

and while that may annoy me to some degree, I realize that annoyance is just uncalled for. If you don't like tomatoes, you shouldn't have to put tomatoes on your taco. But if we both wanted tomatoes on our taco and you thought the tomatoes should be put on the taco in a different way, we would have to settle this or else we couldn't eat tacos together.

I totally get it. I respect that too. Okay Jordan, I cut you off. Go ahead and give me the argument that you've been giving to Matthew. Sure, sorry I jumped ahead. But yeah, I mean, the purpose of the sauce is to hold the cheese and the lettuce down

and to not let it float away. Hold on, are you guys at the International Space Station? Yes. Okay, that's, that's, It's currently docked in Pennsylvania. They docked it. How does your cheese float away? Is it, do things work differently in Pennsylvania. They've docked it. How does your cheese float away? Does things work differently in Pennsylvania?

Yeah, the gravity's all messed up here. Okay, all right, well, I mean, this is a new factor I did not anticipate. What she means is that in the, lots of times when I have a taco and I'm eating, I'm also talking, I'm gesturing. You know, if there's any, even a subtle gesturing with a taco hand, you're gonna get cheese and lettuce

because they're both shredded. They're little pieces. They wanna fly off when you're gesturing with a taco. But how much sauce does it take to hold down those ingredients? That's a lot of sauce. No, let her answer that. Okay, how much sauce does it take?

It's a lot of sauce. Exactly, that's what I just said. Like sauce. Yeah, but okay, so there you go. So that's food for thought right there. She's holding her stuff down when she gestures. You gesture with the taco sometimes when you're like, you gesticulate with tacos?

Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Right, right, right. Okay, and Matt, what do you think about that? What's your position on this? Well, see, I like to sling my taco all willy-nilly and I get the sauce everywhere. Right, so you're saying for the same reason, you guys have the same reason,

but you've got different applications. You saying you gesture even harder? Yeah, yes I do. It's a hard taco gesture. Matt, do you have facial hair? Until this afternoon, yeah. Oh, whoa, whoa, what happened? Were you in an accident?

He's in a shaving accident. Ran face first into some clippers. What? So yeah, no more, no more facial hair. Oh, well the reason I ask that is because, I don't know what your position is yet, Link, but my position is definitely sauce on the meat. Because if sauce is on the outer layer,

as a mustached man, anything that leads with sauce first creates a problem, whereas cheese and lettuce bounce off of my mustache and usually be either back into the taco or into my mouth. Or on the floor. Yeah. I've seen you eat a taco. If something is sauce forward, it's like drinking sauce out of a cup.

At that point, I've just got sauce all over my mustache, which is not that big of a problem, but if I have to make the choice, and I often do, I will put the taco sauce on the meat because I want the wet ingredients, the wet meat and the sauce to be in one place. And then I want the dry ingredients to be on top of that. Matthew?

Well my point is the sour cream holds everything together. You can't sour cream on the other. Oh, see we're trying to give them arguments left and right and they're not using them correctly. Hold on, but sour cream is a much better binding agent than sauce, that was another thing. I didn't, you know. But by your argument, you would put meat, sauce, that was another thing, I didn't, you know. But by your argument, you would put meat, sauce,

sour cream, and then the other toppings, Rhett. But Matthew, you're not saying that, are you? Are you saying, you're saying you put sour cream on the very top in the same place that Jordan put sauce? Oh no, no, it goes, the taco meat, the sauce, and then the sour cream, you bet everything into the sour cream. Okay, okay. You bet it into the sour cream, yes. Okay, so, meat, the sauce, and then the sour cream, you bet everything into the sour cream. You bet it into the sour cream, yes.

Man, that is, see, here's the thing that I hate about tacos. They're ripping couples apart. I mean, and I also hate tacos because the whole way that you make a taco renders it impossible for a person of an average to even above average size mouth to get a bite of everything at once.

I'm talking about a hard taco here, a crunchy taco. If you bite really high, you're not gonna get meat. And if you bite too low, you know, you gotta bite high and you're getting toppings and you're not gonna get meat. And if you bite too low, you know, you gotta bite high and you're getting toppings and you're not getting meat. And then that's not a good bite, that's a bad bite. And then you have to immediately take a second bite, it's like chomp chomp, in order to get the meat. And that shit, it just annoys me so much

that I wanna walk away from tacos altogether. The problem is they taste so good when you finally get everything in your mouth. But I don't like having to take two bites in order to make one good bite. And that's why I hate tacos. And I also hate them because they're ripping families apart. But that's, I mean, that seems different.

Tacos are, from the ground up, they're a problem. Okay. They're a problem food. Point taken, as a man with a below average size mouth and a mustache, if anybody agrees with you about the trouble that tacos bring the world, I'm there with you, but I'm not gonna complain about two bites. I love, two bites are better than one.

And so, and also, regardless of the structure of the taco. Two bites are not better than one because once you take a bite, you wanna chew and enjoy. You don't wanna immediately have to shove a second bite right on top of it. You gotta take a standby bite. You take a bite at the top and then you take a bite, hold it, take a bite at the bottom.

You get it all in your mouth and you mix it together and you have a taco surprise. You do that? Yeah. That's my technique. But you know what? I'm sorry that you have to do that. And I accept your apology.

But even given the fact that I've gotta take two bites, I still think that the sounder argument here is Matt. Because I feel like as someone who almost became a structural engineer and then became a civil engineer and then stopped doing that shortly after to become an internet comedian, I realize I have very little, very little qualification here. But that one structural engineering class

where we did not discuss tacos, I can say that from an engineering perspective, Matt is right. Okay, well, on that point, Jordan, what do you do? What's your area of expertise? What do I do for a living? Yeah. I'm a veterinary technician.

I don't know how that's gonna help you here. It doesn't really. Okay. I just enjoy taco. Well that's, you know that's honest. Matthew, what about you? What's your area of expertise? I am a wastewater operator.

I just let the water flow. So it doesn't help me either. No it doesn't. But you are a man familiar with messes. Well they both are. Well okay. Oh do I? True, that's right.

They're both working in crap. Yeah but Matt is working exclusively in crap. You know what I'm saying? So I think he is the authority here. Okay. And as a former engineer who got close to dealing with such subjects, I gotta say that I think he's got a sound argument because again, if you were actually

at the International Space Station and Jordan's cheese and lettuce was floating away, even still, I think that if you were to stuff that into a bed of sour cream, even an astronaut could enjoy it. And so to me, I feel like this is a pretty, pretty case closed situation. And because a mess with sauce is a much worse mess than a mess with cheese and lettuce.

I too am in agreement with Matthew. Oh wow, okay. Jordan, how does that strike you? Don't be so tempted as to then put the sauce in the meat. It still needs to be a separate experience that you add at your own leisure after the meat has been fully prepared and put in a bowl. Put it on the meat, not in the meat.

Not in the meat, don't go that far. Okay Jordan, what do you think about this? Are you willing to change the way you make a taco? No. Why did you call? We gotta start these over, it's like no matter what we say, do you agree, we gotta do that upfront. We can't do it after we say who we disagree with.

We're learning something. I mean, I'm really heartbroken, but if that's the right way, then that's what I have to do from now on. You'll have less sauce on your face. And then if the lettuce or cheese falls on the floor, I bet you that Matthew is willing to make a commitment to pick it up for you 30% of the time.

Well he can eat it off the ground. Matthew, are you willing to take one for the team in terms of cleanup because the cleanup as you have argued is much more manageable. And your specialty. Yeah I deal with enough cleanup. I think we're gonna have to have her switch to my method. Yeah, I'm saying she switches to your method

and in exchange, the mess that she makes, which is less, you're willing to help with it. Oh yeah, absolutely. Okay, there we go. All right, or you can give it to your cats. Jordan, does that make you feel better about switching up? Yeah, that's a fair trade. But what give it to your cats. Jordan, does that make you feel better about switching up? Yeah, that's a fair trade. But what we need to do is we need to come together,

we need to build a different taco. We need to build a taco that is a one-bite taco. I think you're talking about a smaller taco, like a street taco, because a street taco does not have the problem that you're describing, and I think it's the reason they were invented. And a soft taco, you can start to roll over like a burrito. Yeah.

And that starts to work. Don't close the end though, because then you've made a burrito and then the taco has died and we don't want that. Okay, guys, you know, you're early into this marriage, but I think we've helped a little bit and no hard feelings, Jordan. Just sometimes, sometimes there's a solution to a problem

and you just happen to be on the wrong end of it tonight. And you know what? It's a really good sign in a marriage when you have to call two idiots on the internet in order to settle stuff. So I think you got a great relationship ahead of you. Yeah, thank you so much, guys. Yeah, thanks for calling.

Good luck with that. Thank you. Can we have another caller? I just love this. Yes, let's have one more. Hello? Hello, welcome to Ear Biscuits. Who do we have here and where are you calling from?

Hi, this is Lydia. Oh, and her husband Lenny. And we're from Boise, Idaho. Boise, Idaho. Boise. Lydia and Lenny. Hello, how are you? You sound like a, We're good. Like a duo

of some kind. We are married, so. We also have our own musical group. Oh. I was about to say, you sound like a musical duo, and you, okay, and what do you call yourselves? Uh, Lydia and Lenny. No, I'm just kidding.

These are all lies. Give us some bars, give us a scale. Okay. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. That's just a scale. And I was just nodding, that's where my part comes in. Okay. She was nodding.

She's a tambourine player. You're like a human metronome. That was actually pretty impressive. Do do do do. She's a tambourine player. You're like a human metronome. That was actually pretty impressive. Doo doo doo doo, what's your problem? What's your problem? Well, among many, okay, here's the deal, Rhett and Link, can I call you Rhett and Link? Yeah, sure.

Okay, great. Sure, Lenny. I like the temperature, okay. Oh, Lenny. I like the temperature. Okay. Oh, we're getting into temperature. Yeah, this is the temperature. I like the house between a nice 50 and 60 degrees. Now, let me tell you, it's not like the low 50s.

I'm not trying to keep ice cream in the living room, but I like it to be you know, keep ice cream and just in the living room, but I like it to be, you know, 58, 62 degrees. And my wife doesn't. Yeah, I am naturally a cold person. So I like the house at like 65, 70. 65, 70, and I think that especially when company comes over we should keep the house at like 70, maybe even like 75 on the cold days. It's still spring here in Idaho.

Like it snowed the other day, so. Yeah, wow. That's it. Okay, well just initial observation. So again, each give me one number. I just wanna, I don't wanna work with these ranges. In order to simplify it before we get into it, can you, Lenny, give me your one number,

because first of all, you said 50 to 60, and then you said 58 to 62. 58 to 62. Oh, that's true, I guess I did say that. What's your number? Yeah, what would it be, what would the temperature be if he had to select a temperature for all the time inside? All the time, it would probably just be an even 60. Okay, and Lydia?

71. 71, okay. Now, just initial observations. And how cold is it outside? I'm sorry to cut you off, Rhett, I just need to. It was 58 degrees today. 58? Okay, so it's actually warmer in Idaho than I would've thought. Oh, it was warm today. 58? Okay, so it's actually warmer in Idaho than I would thought.

Oh. Okay, so. It's warmer today. Now, just in terms of modern Western society, Lenny, you are clearly the outlier here, just from the get go. Okay? Okay.

Now, do you recognize that? Well, I guess, you know, I did not, no. But that's just the way, I guess, you know what, it's just the way I was raised. So I guess my family are the outliers as well. Okay. Where'd you grow up? Well, I mean, I grew up in Nevada, which is not, I mean, it's north, I grew up in northeastern Nevada, which is, weather's mean, it's north, I grew up in northeastern Nevada, which is weather similar to Boise. Yeah.

Okay. That's mostly, I think that's where, so I guess where this comes from is my mom always had the adage that if you're cold, put clothes on. And so she always kept the house around 60 degrees. It's kind of like my sculpture analogy. You can put more clothes on, but she always kept the house around 60 degrees. I mean they got. It's kinda like my sculpture analogy. You can put more clothes on but at a certain point there's nothing else to take off

and if you bring it over guests, well that can get awkward or interesting. Well okay, that's clearly right but 60 degrees inside, you're putting on quite a bit of clothing. And are you saying that when it gets hot, are you saying that when it's really hot outside, your mom would have the AC on all the way down to 60?

I would say that she probably, yeah, I think so. Okay, because. I think it was the house, I think the house was always, like if she had her way, was an always an even 60 or around there. So this is not an energy saving thing. Well clearly not in that case.

Right, because I think that's. Because Lydia, he wants to turn the AC on. I don't know how hot it gets in Boise, but in the heat of the summer, I mean, he was wanting to turn the AC on. I don't know how hot it gets in Boise, but in the heat of the summer, I mean, he was wanting to blast the AC? Yeah. Yeah. So it's not a money issue, okay.

Right, go ahead. I would say that it's just more of like, I just, 60 degrees to me feels like I could go outside. Like the house, when it's really hot out, like Boise gets up where, 60 degrees to me feels like I could go outside. Like the house, when it's really hot out, like Boise gets up where it's gotten up to 90 degrees before. So 60 degrees sounds pretty nice then. And then just in the winter when, you know, costs are, I guess, they feel higher. I feel like this is probably not right, but I feel like it's more expensive to keep your house warm than it is to be cold, but it's probably not right. So, okay, what Link is

getting at, I'm thinking the same thing. If this were a cost savings thing, so if you were like, when it gets cold during the winter, I don't want it to be any warmer than 60 degrees because it's cold outside and we're coming, we've got clothes on already for going outside. So we come in, so you would have a point if then the opposite of the argument was also true, the opposite situation, you were like, during the summer, I want it to be warmer because it's already warm outside.

Now, if that was your position, I would say I'm a sympathizer to that position for a number of reasons. The first reason being energy savings, and I think that is the responsible thing, the responsible position to take. And also, Link, as I've been telling you, I started to read about this Wim Hof guy, the Iceman thing. Yeah.

And he basically, his philosophy is that we've pampered ourselves into this perfect acceptable temperature range, which is contrary to our entire history as a species, and we've actually made ourselves weaker. We were designed to be able to be in very cold environments and in very hot environments and be able to regulate our body temperature, so I'm actually moving towards a place where I want there to be a larger temperature fluctuation

in my own home during the different seasons, even though I live in Southern California and there's not much to deal with. But that's not what you're saying. Well, Lenny, are you trying to strengthen the readiness of yourself and Lydia? Can I? Okay, go ahead. Can I peek in here for a second yeah i think it's important

to know that we lived in a house during the den of winter without any heating at all like it just wasn't an option so i feel like we have already done our duty to prepare ourselves for that and okay now that we have a house with heating I think that we should allow ourselves to use it every now and then. If you got it, flaunt it. Was that out of line? No, no, no. I think that is a valid argument. But I think, I guess what I'm thinking now, actually even hearing about this temperature flux thing that that uh we're just

talking about i think i'm more in line with that because i think originally why i wanted to keep it because we moved into this home we're actually just recently moved into it about i think we've been living here about four or five four months okay so i think we haven't actually experienced another season besides winter and spring or we haven't experienced the higher side. And so I think I would be willing to try out keeping the temperature higher, because I think that's originally what I was thinking, was to save money. And I guess I haven't really, I didn't really have a thought about what it would be like in the summer, even though I don't like to be hot very much. Oh, okay. well, okay, this is interesting

because you just, you basically said that you're willing to do this more natural temperature fluctuation experiment for whatever reason, cost savings, readiness, as Link pointed out. As long as he stays cold. But if it's the other end. But when he starts getting hot, he can't take the heat. And then now you feel like Lydia feels now when she's cold. But when he starts getting hot, he can't take the heat. And then now you feel like Lydia feels now

when she's cold. No, and I understand that. I saw that coming while I was saying it. But I would be willing to give up that comfort that I'm used to or that I want to try out the experiment. Yeah, I mean, listen, here's the difficult thing. Basically he just said he's doubling down on his position now and then he's willing to suffer

in the summer if it does get hot. But the problem is is that Lydia may not want to be too cold or too hot and that would put her in the majority position. So what I'm saying is I feel like I've just learned about something with this whole Wim Hof thing that is clouding my perspective and I'm trying to move to a place where I'm more willing to tolerate

temperature fluctuation but if you live with someone, the only way to apply that is to get my wife and my kids to be on the same page and that's probably a lot to ask. And so, I'm probably not gonna be able to do it in my house because if I tell my wife, hey, I want it to be really cold in winter and really hot in the summer and I'm doing it for ruddiness, then she's gonna be like, well, get your ruddy tail

out of here because I want it to be 70 degrees at all times. And that's gonna be a very difficult argument to win. So it really feels like the answer here is compromise. Well, and I was, yeah, sorry. So we're talking about 65 and a half degrees? In the winter. No. That's fine. And I would say setting some,

having a negotiation between the two of you, you don't have to do it right now, but agree on your target temperature for each of the seasons and just be like, hey, this is where we can both be comfortable but still develop a little bit of, you know, environmental consciousness and readiness. Yeah, 65 degrees in the winter.

78 in the summer. Good. And you might go 74 in the summer, not 76. I like that. And when people come over, Lenny, let her do what she wants because she's got more sense than you. Right, exactly.

When it comes to this. Yep, yep. She's enduring, I mean, you're blaming it on your mama, so we can just put it on her. She's enduring the problems your mama created and you can just cut her some slack. Cause she, let her, that's her thing, man, when people come over.

She knows how to do it. You don't. All right. You don't. You're dysfunctional. And you know what, I am too, in a different way. Well guys, I hope we've helped you a little bit. Yes, you have, thank you. All right guys, good luck with that.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Okay guys, there you have it. I had a lot of fun. Meddled in people's lives, you know, but they asked for it. I feel like at the end of the day, we did more good than harm. You never know.

But there was a component of harm, I just, you know, we can't quantify it. I do think there's a chance that that one couple is gonna cut themselves during that Oreo ceremony that you suggested. But you know, they can report back and let us know. You make it sound like a satanic ritual. But you know what, we're gonna have to do this again.

Of course, using hashtag Ear Biscuits on all the social media outlets that you know of. Please let us know what you thought about this call-in episode. We're continuing to experiment with what we do on this show. And if you want to be able to talk to us or have us respond to one of your questions, complaints or concerns, look at the prompts

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Ho ho ho!