Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 180: AMA: What's The Worst Practical Joke We Played On Someone? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 180

Episode Date: February 11, 2019

From alien procreation to dookie in a Tupperware container, hear some of our answers to the questions that you asked on this week's AMA episode of Ear Biscuits. Sponsored by: Tommy John: Shop limited edition Valentine’s Day gift sets and get 20% off your first order at TommyJohn.com/EARZola: To start your free wedding website and also get $50 off your registry on Zola, go to ZOLA.com/EAR  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are exploring multiple questions because we're doing an AMA, which means ask me anything. Ask us anything.

And me, A-U-A, ask us anything. A-oo-ah. A-oo-ah. A-oo-ah. A-oo-ga. A-oo. Is that when a cartoon sees something that they like? Oh yeah, a-oo-ga. It's like a, but it's a horn of some sort. Thank you Mythical Beast who,

It's a horn. Who sort. Thank you Mythical Beast who. It's a horn. Who replied to our request for questions. We log questions we like and if we don't get to all of them then we'll get to them later as long as we occasionally get to your questions. You know what we do with the questions that we don't like? We print them out on poster boards and we put lighter fluid on them

and we burn them individually. Right. It's really what we do when we're not doing what you see us doing on camera. I mean, we are burning so much now, it's so wasteful. That's why we smell like soot, but we call it the cleansing ceremony. That's what we call it.

Yeah. So if you submit. Are you ready for another cleanse? If you submit bad questions, just know that you're fueling the giant bonfire of poster board that we have constantly going in the back parking lot. Let's just get into some questions.

Oh, but I just want. Oof, oof. I wanna tease this out. We got this new idea. We have a new idea. To incentivize you to maybe hang around and listen to this whole Ear Biscuit. At the end, we're gonna start giving

Little recs. A little recommendation of something that we are into. So we're gonna try that, wrapping up every episode with a little recommendation, something that you can experience in some way that we've experienced and we really like. Just a little rec. I know, it could be something in the world of entertainment,

audio or visual, it could be a product. It could be anything. It could be a service. It could be anything. It could be an idea. It could be, hey, try on this idea this week. Yeah. So just a little recommendation at the end

that if nothing from answering these questions had a good takeaway from you, then we'll give you something, okay? If you need to have a, you know, I like it sometimes when I invest time in something, even like a podcast. I like having a takeaway. Knowing that there's value in it. Knowing that there's value in it and that's

maybe a flaw in my thinking that things just can't be. Definitely is. That they have to be, hey stay out of it. It's one thing for me to be introspective, it's another thing for you to, what's it called when? Extrospection is when you put your introspection on another person.

Don't insert-trospection yourself into my. I'm not inserting anything. You are inserting. I'm not inserting.. You are inserting. I'm not inserting. Pull out, man. Okay, let's just get into, here's a weird one right off the bat from V, at Mythical V.

This was posted four hours ago. No, that's just when we printed it, said 4H beside it. Oh, well maybe she's in the 4H. If you were to have a third hand, where would you want it to be located and what would you use it for? Hashtag Ear Biscuits.

Well let me just start by saying that I definitely know my first answer to this but we're not gonna talk about that. We're just gonna, why is it that? We're gonna just move on to the second, I don't know. Where the second third hand would be the fourth hand. Well I'm sorry but I just have to go to

what I think is your first answer. Because I thought that this was a naughty thing too. It seemed like a naughty question. Well no, I think what you mean is that we have naughty answers and I already said that I was bypassed. I'm not talking about that third hand, I'm talking about the fourth hand. Okay, let's not talk about where it should go,

let's talk about the other one. But once I started to think about the thing you don't wanna talk about, I actually didn't know what that meant. So I kinda do need you to tell me about it. I think I can explain that to you later. It has to do with insertion, insertion inspection, whatever the word is.

Oh gosh. That you came up with. I'm not as naughty as you are in the brain. That's a fact, Jack. That's definitely true. But I said I didn't wanna talk about that. So where my fourth hand would go is I would have, I find myself. You can't be hogging the hands. I would have, I find myself-

You can't be hogging the hands. I would have- Naughty man can't hog hands. You do the same thing, we both do it, because of the nature of our haircuts. We end up touching our hair a lot. I think I would have a hand somewhere strategically placed, potentially inside the hair itself, so they could go away.

So it would be like, you know those things that, you see those commercials for the things that the ladies can, anybody could do it, but usually the ladies put the things in their hair that gives it some volume? Like a, yeah. What is it called, like the bump or something like that? It's got like a name like that.

I would have a hand that was concealed inside the hair and the hand itself could style and add volume. Oh gosh. But then the hand could also just reach and grab and straighten. Right. And straighten the hair. That's not a bad idea.

But if you go bald, then you just look like a rooster. You've got like a, it's like a coxcomb. I think at that point you'd get it amputated. You'd get it amputated. You'd get it amputated. No actually at that point you know what, it's just cool. Hand head. Is it hair colored hand?

It's a hair colored hand in the hair. It's got the amount of hair that a monkey hand would have. It's a very hairy hand. You got a monkey hand. A monkey hand's strong too. Oh yeah, you can hold, like you could hold yourself up on a pull-up bar with just your head. Yes, because.

You'd be like an ornament. You think you'd be using it to constantly fruffle your hair, but with a hand that strong, you'd just be hanging from, you'd be bending over using it instead of your other two hands. Well think about it, and if you were going through like a small space, like a tunnel, you'd have your normal hands on the sides

and then the top hand would be like, your head would be, your head could hit anything because it would always be caught by the head hand. Oh wow, that's good too. And can it, does it have a wrist? Like can it come down and cover my eyes if I'm scared? Is it that big of a hand? Let me see.

No. I don't think so. I don't think it can. I mean I got a pretty big hand and I couldn't touch your, touch your eyes. I think I want. You don't wanna touch your eyes though because that's when you get pink eye.

I think I want my hand, are you saying that because I have a sty? Have you noticed that? No. Do you see that my right eye is a little puffy? No that's what glasses do for you man. That's why I'm gonna start wearing glasses in 2019. I went in a. To cover up glasses in 2019. I went in a.

To cover up my eye problems. I was in a hot tub over the weekend and at a Airbnb with some friends and I was tired and I put my face under that hot tub and I just rubbed my face with my hands. Oh gosh. My two hands and then I came up and I was like, this hot tub smells like lake water.

Lo and behold, I woke up next morning with a puffy eye. Was it lake water? I don't know. I didn't do like a test. Well I know who you were with and he seems like he would have done a test. Right. He didn't seem phased by it.

I gotta ask him if they have any styes. He didn't test the water? Hot compresses, I'll be doing that tonight. Don't worry about me. But if I had a third hand, yeah I'm pretty vain about touching my hair constantly too so you might be changing my answer. But I also adjust my glasses a lot.

If I just had a hand right here beside my glasses just to constantly adjust it. I think you could use my hand. My answer. Get a pinky down there. My answer is I want a hand on the end of a tail. So I don't have a tail. Well you don't have a tail. I'm talking like a monkey tail with a hand on the end of it. You know how you can put a.

Oh you can get those things that have the sticky things. You put a quarter in that thing at the exit to the grocery store and you'd get like a sticky hand. Well now you're talking about things that are just not even possible. But not sticky. I want a hand on a tail. I think that would be great.

I don't know why. But the hands used as if the tail. Why do we lose a tail, man? I just can't believe that evolutionarily speaking, we didn't need a tail. Well because we stood up. The tail was for like trees. It was for the trees, man.

We came out of the trees, we went on the savannas, we stood up, we looked over the grasslands. I would really love to have a tail. Screw that tail. Like just a long expressive tail. Just for communication. Also for grabbing. And probably naughty stuff.

I think it can be arranged. Anything can be done these days. A naughty stuff tail. Golly, now you want a hand on the end of it. That's definitely not possible. Because it has to be a very easily controlled tail for the hand to be of any use. You don't want a tail that is just sort of hanging there

and just wagging, the most you can do is wag, and then basically all you're doing is waving all the time. You know what I'm saying, you have to have. Well it would grab onto the back of my shoulder so when I was walking around it would look like someone was, I was leading someone by my shoulder. But then I would turn around and reveal that nope, that's just a guy with a long tail,

like a four foot tail with a hand on the end of it. I think I'm gonna go with head hand. Me too. Okay, we're gonna get into more of these questions, but first we wanna let you know that Ear Biscuits is supported by Tommy John. If your big Valentine's Day surprise consists of a bouquet of supermarket roses

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Well maybe I will riff, Link. Riff? I don't have to riff, I can just tell you right now that the worst Valentine's Day gift that I ever gave my wife, according to her, was a potted plant. Pretty early on in our marriage. Okay. I got her a potted plant.

She wants flowers that die or something? Something about the fact that the plant was intact and in dirt made it unromantic. Now this is early in our marriage when her expectations were still very unrealistically high. Decades ago. Yeah. Now she's fully aligned to low expectations for you.

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and then Jesse brought all these physical invitations out. I don't wanna talk about it. That were in some kind of like big book. I mean it was like, it was 2001. Oh gosh. Golly, I mean I almost feel like I should just get married again. I mean of course to Jesse, just so I can use Zola.

To start your free wedding website and also get $50 off your registry at Zola, go to zola.com slash ear. That's $50 off your registry by going to Zola, zola.com slash ear. Now back to the biscuit. Let's get into another question. Payola asks.

Payola, isn't that like some kind of like. Illegal thing? In another universe, you guys are teachers. What subject would you like to teach? My answer is pottery. Like I wanna be a thrower. Isn't that what they're called? When you're like spinning pottery and then throwing it,

you know, it's called a thrower. I have no idea. A person who pots, makes pots, throws the. But you wanna be a teacher or you wanna be just a person who makes pots because there's a distinct difference? I actually don't think it is. I wanna be a guy who makes pots

and like different mud stuff. As a craftsman. And so well that I can teach people. But what's more important? It seems like a lot. The crafting or the teaching? It seems like a, well I have to be a teacher, that's the question.

I wanna teach it. I think it would be fun to teach. You use the teaching question as a way to get to a hobby that you wanna make into your job, which is fine, but I find it interesting that the teaching part is not. Oh, I'll get to that. What appeals to you? No, I think that it's a,

teaching as a concept stresses me out. Like there's a lot of pressure associated with, like knowing something so well to then tell people that stuff and then they're supposed to believe it and then it impact their lives. Like that's just a lot of pressure. Like I don't have that type of confidence in knowledge. Like I always feel like I need to state everything

couched as an opinion. And you know I love to give opinions. Really? On things where there aren't answers. But like teaching something seems so final and like I can, I feel like I can screw up people's lives unless it's just them making a pot.

Pots can be very, very special to people. I also think. Be very significant, especially it depends on what you put in them. And I like that. It's in a, so in some form I'd like to be an art teacher where it's not about, if I'm wrong about something that I've passed along, then somebody's gonna. That's interesting, so the reason you went to art

is not because, it's because you value the subjective nature of art. You're afraid to teach anything that might be considered to be objective or final in some way. I think that's what drew me to it, and also it seems like I think I could be like a zen teacher of pottery. Like I think it could be, my class would be equal parts

pottery and therapy. Like just inspirational, like I wanna have an inspirational class where people are just touching mud. Because it's like you're getting in, it's like it's very primal like playing with mud and dirt and the spinning motion, it could be symbolic of something that I would make up just to get people excited. I just think there's a lot of potential.

It sounds like you really thought this through. Yeah. As you know, I'm not. TED Talk, I mean. As you know. I'll be making TED Talks about it. I am not, I don't hold back. I don't have a problem with telling people things.

Yeah. In fact, well I've talked about this many times before, but my dad's a law professor and he loves, not just teaching a class because he also likes telling you what he thinks about things in the same way that I do. Yeah. He likes an audience.

If he wasn't a professor, he'd be a stand-up comedian. It's like we have a very similar personality in a lot of ways and I ended up being the comedian, not the professor. But I am not making this up. I really, really want to be a university professor at some point in my life and I'm holding out hope that there's gonna be some opportunity.

You think you're gonna get some like honorary YouTube degree? No, I don't, to go, to be able to like, be like, oh, I'm gonna teach this particular class for this particular program because of something that is from my past that qualifies me to do it in some way, I don't know what it'll be, 20 years from now.

But, so do you have an answer for what it is? I mean is it law, do you wanna like dad, son teach? Like that would be cool, you're getting in on that? No no, I'm not interested in that. Splitting the paycheck, splitting the duties. I'm very. Bonding with your dad. I'm just interested in so many different things. You have to pick something that you're gonna teach.

You know that I like paleontology, but I like that because of the idea of the clothes and brushing the dinosaur bones. Yeah, but you're in a classroom setting. So, I don't know, it's very difficult for me to just think about it in the abstract because I'm thinking about something that I might actually be able to talk about.

Okay, for instance, you know I took that class at NC State, my favorite class ever, the Futurism class, and that professor was just an absolute nut. Okay, that's a good one for you. He had written the textbook. Oh wow. Single space, courier font, and he put it in his own binder.

Welcome to the future, I guess. And he wore these red suspenders and he was kind of hunched over and he had been teaching at State for many, many years. I forgot you took that class. I think it was called Future Studies. And it was like introduction to, you know, my introduction to a lot of like science fiction writing and Asimov and stuff like that.

But I absolutely love that. Now I'm no expert on that, but I have an affinity for that stuff. So maybe there's, you know maybe there's something in there. Post apocalyptic literature, something that's like, this is just a class that you take when you got some credits that you just need to fill up and there's this guy that used to be on YouTube and yeah,

he's the guy with the big white beard because I'll be old and he's a crazy professor. I wanna be in some college town on the east coast where the leaves change and you walk around with your sweaters on that say the mascot and you go to the basketball games, like Division Three. That's the college scene that I'm talking about. You're teaching the future.

You're teaching the future to the future. That's poetic and then there's another guy with a white beard doing pottery to kind of help people who think visually understand. You're not gonna come to the same school as me, are you? That's me. I'm taking half your paycheck.

I think you might go to the community college just outside of town. No, I love the idea. I love teaching. Constantly doing it. Questlove, Questlove. See, there you go. He taught like a hip hop studies class.

Exactly. Boy, I can't remember where he did that, but I would love to have taken that class. I'll be a TA. You wanna be a TA for a celebrity taught class? That's it, yeah. Who doesn't? Yeah.

That's the one. I will bring my potter's wheel. I'm just not, I'm not an expert in anything I think that people would wanna pay for yet, so. All right. Ask me another question. This is from Praise Sharp. Okay.

An asker of questions. What's the one thing you thought was super fancy as a kid but turned out to be an average not fancy adult thing? I thought Lunchables were fancy in middle school. Hashtag air biscuits. I still think Lunchables are kinda fancy. I mean.

Kinda cool, innovative, even still innovative even to this day. Still feel like you're eating future food. Yeah, you feel like an astronaut. Yeah, astronauts eat Lunchables. Fancy, a fancy astronaut. You see that video of the astronaut back on Earth and he's like, he's holding up a cup

and he's talking with a pen and then he lets go of the pen to gesture and then the pen falls and then he looks up to try to find the pin. This is not a joke? This is not a joke. He just like, he'd been in space so long that he hadn't gotten used to when you let something go, it falls. Gravity.

I did see the, Fancy. I don't know, I saw a video. That was on Reddit, by the way. Did you see the video on Reddit where they were teaching the guy who'd been in the International Space Station for a very long time how to walk again? I felt like that might be too emotional or something. Was it funny?

It didn't have like a soundtrack. No, it wasn't funny but it was interesting. It was like dang, this guy can't walk anymore. It's probably the same guy who then doesn't know what to do with a pen. He can't gesture either. Yeah, seriously. Do you have something in mind?

Yeah. I had a hard time with this one. No, well I think the way I was thinking about it, you'll relate to this. I remember everything seeming fancy. The whole town of Dunn seemed fancy to me. Just to, you know, growing up, when we went to the Chinese restaurant in Dunn,

because it had like a gold sign. This was the town. You know what I'm saying? You drive on 421 10 miles towards the interstate. East. And then you'd get to Dunn with two Ns. Yeah. They had a movie theater with two movies could play at once.

Twin Plaza. Yeah. Probably still got it. Now, so, but it went beyond that because it was like, I talked about Shoney's before on the show, Shoney's was super fancy. The Mexican restaurant in Fuqua, El Dorado. That was fancy? Because you sat down to eat.

Oh I never did that. All this stuff. But you told me about that. Oh well. Was so fancy. You told me in grade school about how you would go to Fuquay to go to a Mexican restaurant and I was like, what? What? And. I didn't understand.

And then once I. Like even in high school I never ate at a Mexican restaurant. But once I started getting to know my wife and started hanging out with her family and they would like go to like Maggiano's. You know what I'm saying? We're still in chain territory. Yeah, yeah.

But like that was like what? Oh that was the tip top, man. I was like I've never eaten in any place like this in my life and now I'm just such a douche. Daryl's. You know what I'm saying? Daryl's is the one that I would go to. Now I'm just a snob. Now I'm just like, well I'm not gonna eat it if it's a chain.

You know what? No, no, it's gotta have four and a half stars at least. It's gotta be on the Eater LA map. And they've gotta serve beets. And I mean cold beets in a salad. Lot of sugar in beets in a salad. And a lot of sugar in beets, watch that. But yeah, but growing up, man, I wish I could go back to that mentality

because I wish I could turn that on every single day because then everything would be amazing. You know what, you jogged my memory. The thing that I thought was fancy because you would talk about it, that when you mentioned Dunn, that steakhouse in Dunn, what was, they had a, um. Heath's?

Yes, Heath's Steakhouse. It was like a dimly lit room, and then, it wasn't like the Western Sizzlin' where I would get a steak, where you'd go through a cafeteria line and order, they would come to your table and you'd order a steak. And then you would get up after you'd order a steak and then you would get up after you'd ordered a steak and you would go

to the baked potato bar. Woo! Man. Baked potato bar is fancy. Is Heath Steakhouse, Philman, is Heath Steakhouse still in Dunn, North Carolina? How would he know? He's never even been to North Carolina.

He's got the internet. Oh. While he's looking that up, another fancy thing is, and you might know if it's still there because you've got a family that lives in this town, is Ron's Barn still in Coates? Yes, it's called, remember it used to be called Pope's Barn, became Ron's, it's still there.

Oh, it was Pope's a long time ago. Yeah. It's been Ron's for a long time. It's bumpin', man, it's still happenin'. If you're in Coates, North Carolina, it's Heath Steakhouse. Still there. It's still there in Dunn, it's got threeakhouse. Still there. It's still there and done.

It's got three stars. Three stars on Yelp. And done, yeah, you know. Baked potato bar. How many? 20. 20 reviews, well, you know what, they need more reviews. They gotta get it up. So go to Heath Steakhouse, we highly recommend it. And if you're in Coates.

We also grew up with a guy. Go to Ron's Barn, the barbecue, the chicken, I mean you have the tray. The fried shrimp is good too. Oh gosh, it's so good. We also grew up with a guy. Go to Ron's Barn, the barbecue, the chicken, I mean you have the tray. The fried shrimp is good too. Oh gosh, it's so good. We also grew up with a guy named Heath. I thought he was pretty fancy. Heath's first name?

Or Heath's last name? We also went to school with a guy whose Heath's was their last name. Yeah that's right, it was his last name. And I always thought that they were the owners of that place. They weren't, he didn't have anything to do with it. They have two?

Heath's? That's actually the name of it. Heath's 2 is the name of the steakhouse. Maybe we only know about Heath's One. Huh, I don't know. Man. How much is a ribeye there? I just wanna get a Dunn, North Carolina ribeye price.

Hold on, before you tell me. Get a ribeye Heath's Two steakhouse in Dunn, North Carolina. I'll get your number. I got my number. Doesn't say. It doesn't say. Okay well that exercise was going nowhere.

My number was $23. Oh I was gonna say 16. Oh it ain't that cheap. You don't think so? Well we're just gonna have to go next time we go home. All right, got another question for ya. Chef Jess1234 Down Under asks, if you could design a program, physical or digital,

to make your lives easier, what would it be? Yeah, I like this question because I like how things could be easier for me. And the thing I've been thinking about, I want my shower to blow dry my entire body. Yeah, almost got, yeah. Is that a thing? Because I should have gotten that. I want my shower to blow dry my entire body. Yeah, I almost got, yeah. Is that a thing? Because I should have gotten that.

I knew it was probably. Hold on a second. We've talked about this. So they make a thing that was a Kickstarter. We talked about it on the show, I'm pretty sure. Where it was a thing that looked like a weight scale, but you would get on it and somehow it would dry your body. Now, Jessie wanted to get this for me.

I looked at it and I was like, I just don't see how this works. It won't work. But in the process of looking it up, yeah, you can get the showers that not only have the crazy jets from all sides, but you can also add in crazy blowers fans. Man, I got a new shower and I didn't even think about that.

And now I am, I sit there and I'll get out of the shower and I'll brush my teeth and then like, I break out the blow dryer, I blow dry my whole body. And then I look out my window and like my neighbor can see me. If I don't close my shades. That's a different problem. While my neighbor watching me blow dry my body.

You know what I have. I blow dry my armpits. I have mixed feelings about this. And my crotch area. Of course, well yeah, don't leave that out. I can do that with my third hand. It just. I can have four blow dryers going at once.

I got four hands, I got one on top of my head as well. You blow dry your head, that hand will get hot. I have very mixed feelings about this. And this is coming from a guy who knew about, not that it was a possibility, that it was a reality and I am redoing a bathroom at some time in the near future. Have you blow dried your body with a hair dryer before? I have blow dried my body with a dryer

at an amusement park. Were you not there? Yeah. You were there, right? Yeah. Where was that? It is ringing a bell that we talked about this. We got into the stall and you paid like seven bucks

a person. I think it was at a water park. Yeah, to get completely dry. And at that point I was like, this has gotta be a thing. Now, but here's my mixed feelings. My mixed feelings are, and again, this is where like stoic philosophy comes in, which I partially subscribe to, but don't really actually,

you know, I read a book about it. And I like the idea of like denying yourself things so that, just like I was saying a second ago, if I could go back to that place where Heath's Steakhouse was super exciting to me, then my life would be better. I thought you were saying then you wouldn't go. No, well yeah, because the Stoics had this philosophy

that you should never eat great food and good wine. You should stay away from that because you should learn to be completely sustained off bland food because you won't become jaded and you won't be feeding into this thing that, there's never, you run up against that asymptote where you never get satisfied. And I think that putting a blow dryer in your shower is an example of one of those things

that will make you a person that, now every time you have to take a shower elsewhere, like I take a shower at the gym like three times a week. They don't have a blow dryer there. I bet they do, you just need to look for it. No, I've pushed every button there. Oh. All kinds of stuff has come out.

But not even in the, like when you go to the sink, they don't have a drawer to blow dry? They have a blow dryer, but they don't have a blow dryer built into the shower. I know, I'm just saying my idea is good enough. And here's the thing about stoicism and blow drying your crotch is that if you don't blow dry your crotch,

it's eventually gonna dry so you might as well just accelerate the process so that. No, because the way that the warm air feels on your body, especially that part of your body is probably. I'm not doing it for pleasure, I'm doing it for. Oh, give me a break, you're doing it for pleasure. Blow drying your body is fun and feels great. Well, it doesn't feel bad.

And the stoics would never do that. If a stoic saw another stoic blow drying himself, he'd kick him out of the club. Right. He'd revoke his membership. I wonder if my neighbor's a stoic. You got another question? You know I do.

Brian Pierce, who would you cast to play yourselves in the good mythical biopic which. Is happening. I thought was biopic until like last year. I thought it was biopic too because we only use that word with each other. Neither of you can be in this movie because thanks for the clarification because.

Because we suck at playing ourselves. Each of you choose be in this movie, because thanks for the clarification, because. Because we suck at playing ourselves. Each of you choose an actor to play yourself and an actor to play the other guy. So I've got my picks for this. Oh, let me hear it, I got mine too. I'll start with who I think would play you, okay? All right. You may not know this guy, Logan Lerman.

Never heard of him. This is the guy who played Percy Jackson. In what? In Percy Jackson. What is that? It's a book series that was turned into a movie series. You'd recognize this guy. Oh like it, just looks like a normal dude.

He's got one of those faces. Unmemorable face. He's got one of those faces that can be pushing a lot of different, first of all, there's a few requirements in my mind. You just said pushing a lot of different erections. That's what you just said. He has a face you can. That's my third hand talking.

You said erect. Pushing a lot of different directions. This is what I think is required. This has gotta be somebody. You've got a face that can be pushed in a lot of, oh my gosh. In their 20s, I think the person has to be in their 20s because you wanna be able to play like, you wanna be able to play like from high school to like now

so that I kinda think like a 20 year old something. Yeah, he's in talks to play young Dan Rather in Newsflash. So this guy's a great actor. And you know what? You should familiarize yourself with him. And when the biopic moves into the future, I can be played by Dan Rather. Exactly.

So you should be honored that I picked him. How do you know about this guy, by the way? Have you seen Percy Jackson? My kids have seen it. Okay. Well, no, the way that I did it, first of all, the way that I did this, because I wouldn't have known that that guy's name,

I looked up top actors in their 20s and a list came up, top 25 actors in their 20s. Oh, he's in the top 25? He's in the top 25 according to this one publication. Oh, okay, you're doing me right. So I only pick people who are in the top 25 because for me, this might seem a little bit of a stretch, literally, I picked Daniel Radcliffe for me.

And I'm going for who I think can get the face. Now Daniel Radcliffe's about five, six, I don't know, I'm guessing, I met him one time. So I'm like a foot taller than him. Yeah. But he's very familiar with Hobbit technology and making himself look smaller than he was, so I figured they could do the same thing

and make him look bigger. That's a director who does that. He's familiar with Hobbit technology. So he can play me. Well no, Peter Jackson is definitely directing the one that I'm, where Daniel Radcliffe plays me because he's gonna have to make him look bigger. He's got to make him be the Gandalf. What is the reason why you picked him though?

Because. Facial features, eyes, buggy eyes. Bring up a picture of Daniel Radcliffe with his beard. He can play me at different stages of life. So with a beard. Because I want a combination of somebody who's a great talent but also can be me believably from a physical standpoint.

I mean the guy looks like me. His beard and hair is lighter than I remembered it being. But no, he has same kind of eyebrows, same facial structure in general, same kind of buggy eyes. And also I think that Logan has a similar thing to you, like face shape and his, let me look at that, look at that second picture of him. No, go back up, that one right there,

the second from the corner right there. No, down right there, yeah. Click on that, look at that. You would think that was me. I could make that, we'd look the same person. I'm not gonna argue with you, I mean it's just, it's unexpected. Okay, but he is too short so again, Peter Jackson,

we invite you to take the helm. Neither one of us were ever gonna say Daniel Stern and Dana Carvey, I mean. Well, because they're old at this point. Daniel Stern in his prime, maybe, but I wanna pick a guy, I wanna pick a good looking guy so I can feel good about the movie, you know but I wanna pick a guy who, I wanna pick a good looking guy so I can feel good about the movie, you know what I'm saying? I decided to go to flip the script.

I think the world is ready for the Good Mythical Biopic where it's the female version. Just like what they did with Ghostbusters. Right, but you usually have to have the first version before you flip the script. We are the first version. Okay, that's not how a biopic works, but I'm listening, go ahead.

So I thought, just in terms of personality and physicality, I'm picking for me, Kristen Bell. I think we could be friends. I think everyone wants to be Kristen Bell's friend. Doesn't everybody wanna be my friend? I'm a fun guy to have around. Boy, I'm just lock, stock, and barrels of fun. So you kinda see yourself as like a Veronica Mars type?

Yes. Never seen that show but yes. I mean, she's top of mind because I'm catching up on the good place. Okay. And then you, my friend, would be Jane Lynch. She's tall, she's snarky. The two of them together would be a really fun movie.

Interesting, yeah. It's a really fun movie. I love to see the two of them together. The coaching glee. I love to see the two of them together. As well as all the other stuff she's done. She's got that dry wit. And she already has a haircut.

We know Jane. We know Jane. She does the epilepsy march every year. So we can talk to her about your idea. Jane, I've got a proposal for you. We have a great idea. First of all, Kristen Bell is not yet on board. But let me just start with that. We were hoping you'd be the one to talk her into it.

Yeah. So yeah, it's, matter of fact, they should just come in and start hosting our show every month. Is it a mother-daughter thing though? Because I think that's one potential issue there. They're not really. Age incongruency. They're not really in the same age range.

Well, CGI. Okay, yeah, you're right, Peter Jackson's doing it. Right, just let's go all the way. Did you hear about Peter Jackson taking the old World War I footage? No. And basically applying some crazy technology to it. Oh to make it look amazing and current.

To make it look like it had been restored. Restored footage, yes. But I think it was you that told me. But it was actually restored to beyond what it would ever have been based on the technology at the time. You should look this up, just Google Peter Jackson war footage restoration

and I don't know what that was for but it is fascinating. What is that for? For a movie. Oh it's for a movie he's working on? For our documentary. Is it the biopic? Our biopic? Starring Daniel Radcliffe and Lucas Lerman, Logan Lerman.

I'm getting bored, let me ask another question. Sa Jehu asks, if intelligent alien life exists, and it does, what is the first thing you would want to know about their civilization? I would want to know if they have music. Hashtag Ear Biscuits. Okay so, Sa would want to know if they have music. I mean that is a particularly specific question

to ask at first. You know I think it's more of like, once you know your life's not in danger and they're cool and you're hanging out and you're just like, I don't know, hey, let's grab a beer or let's. That's quite a leap, but go ahead. Huh?

That's quite a leap. To say that they're friendly? Well, because my answer is I wanna know their weakness. Tell me your weakness. Because I know, I don't care how the initial meeting goes, the only way that the only ending, the only potential ending when two different species from different parts, alien species from different parts

of the universe come together, the only way it will end is in the annihilation of one of the people groups. That's sad. That's just the rule of the universe come together, the only way it will end is in the annihilation of one of the people groups. That's just the rule of the universe, man. You have to assume that that is what's going to happen. Now we go in friendly, handshakes, all that, but just know eventually it's gonna hit the fan and it's us or them. I think you may be tipping your hand a little bit,

all four of them, if you ask the question what is your weakness? So let's try to come up with another way to get at it. He didn't say it was a question, he was like, what is the first thing you would want to know about their civilization? I would like, what is the Achilles heel? I mean, that's the question, I wanna know what it is.

Do they have some, is there a core in the middle that we can drop a bomb into that all of a sudden the whole thing will explode on itself like the Death Star? Because if so, I wanna know what that is. And then once you find that out, your second question is like, hey, do you have music? Do you have music? I like the music question.

I think it's did y'all have music? Because we just blew you up. Wow, you are, you are a bleak. Where's the black box, is there music on it? I'm just a realist, man. Just to keep the sub-thread of this thing, of this fire stoked, my answer is gonna be how do you do the naughty stuff?

Oh wow, you wanna see a demonstration? Give me a demonstration if you must. Like I mean that's the only part of Avatar I remember. How many? And it was tentacles or something right? What was it? Yeah it was like a tentacle intertwining of umbilical-ness. It didn't seem fun, There was no thrusting.

Come on now. Now, but yeah, I mean, and you know what? My question seems innocuous, but it could be the key to finding their weakness. And so you just let me do all the talking, just like at all of our Hollywood parties. Once all of them tentacle up to each other, that's when we kill them all.

Gosh, you're horrible. Once you guys all get attached to each other and start procreating, we're going to blow you up. I mean, it's real sick. Oh, hold on, there is thrusting. He just brought the video up. Well, there was one thrust in particular, it looked like. I'm just.

Avatar's coming back, you know about that right? He's been working on that forever. Oh gosh yeah there's gonna be four of them. We got a buddy who lives pretty close to us who has been traveling all the way down to Manhattan Beach I think is where they have been working on it. Who's been doing a lot of the costume. Costume designing on all the avatars.

But the funny thing is I was like, what are you working on now? He said, well, I'm doing some, and he's not like a stylist. He literally is drawing the stuff. Yeah. And this is like, this is his job for like a decade. Like that's, you know what I'm saying?

Like once you start working on that, that's just what you do. Once you start working with him, yeah. Because he's, I mean, because he's just got so much stuff. What's his name? James Cameron. James Cameron, the deep sea diver. That's our friend.

No, no. We got a friend who's working on Avatar. His name is James Cameron. Jim Cameron. Yeah, we call him Jimmy. Jimmy Cam. Having fun today, Link. What is your weakness, James Cameron?

Jennifer Flores. If you could instantaneously give yourself a quality you don't already possess, example, desire to clean, photographic memory, write poetry, break dance, what would it be? Now keep in mind this is not a superpower. We're not talking about something that doesn't exist. This is it.

This question matters. This is a quality that humans can have and you could, through a combination of natural talent and practice, get straight up, but this is just, you could snap your fingers and you can get it. What would it be? Instantaneously. You know, since we're working on music and stuff,

this isn't my answer, but I was thinking like. You're gonna take my answer. Something in the music world, but I actually, I stopped that, because I't want to go there. Okay. I applaud your efforts in learning the piano as we gear up for concerts. Well, and I think that's why my answer was

to be a virtuoso. Oh, on a piano? Well, so. On any instrument? Because my answer is different, but go ahead. Well, if it's an option to be a musical virtuoso of all instruments, which I mean, there are people who can play a lot of,

but that's kind of multiple skills. So I would definitely do that, but if I had to choose one instrument, and this is probably because I'm just beginning to learn, I do think it would be the piano. Yeah. Because I just think that what you can explore on the piano is just limitless.

I was sitting down, like Lando called me over, he was like, tell me, do you prefer it when I play this song like this or like this because I'm encouraged, he didn't use the word, she told me I can change any way I want and he played it two different ways and I was just so envious and proud of the way that he was able to move his fingers across the ivories and he's actually learned to whenever he feels

overwhelmed or anxious, he will go over the piano and start playing and it's a calming effect. Does it come out in the music? Is he like this is my angry song? He's not like, no, it's more of a calming, he always plays like a calming thing which is one of the songs that he's working on now. But just the level with which you can get in touch with,

it's just a connectivity to a different part of your brain and body that I am envious of. Especially with the piano, the way there's like, there's a lot of physicality with it and it's like a full body experience. I mean are you experiencing that as you're learning to play the piano? Is it, do you, I know it's early.

Well the funny thing about this and you will, if you come to the London show or you come to any of the shows that are booked for 2019, you will see me play the piano. Now, interestingly, I'm doing it the way that I've always done, which is I didn't learn any songs. I learned a little bit of Easy by Lionel Richie. Yeah, I was impressed.

And, but then I quickly just move on to writing my own song and so what I can do is I can play the songs that we're going to sing. Well, definitely gonna sing at least one song, hopefully two. But I am so, but I've been this way with the guitar. I was like, I don't play a bunch of covers on the guitar. It's just I am able to play the thing

that I'm actually doing and within the parameters that this song allows. And so then I have to kind of build, and of course I'm actually doing and within the parameters that this song allows. And so then I have to kind of build, and of course I'm starting out in the key of C because that's the easiest place to start on the piano. And so you can kind of just get the feel down before you have to really start involving other parts of the board that may be intimidating.

So. And all the instruments I play, I can only play what I play in those songs that I play them in. Right, you just can't pick it up and just be like, we do the same thing, we kinda learn how to fit like, this is what we need to do for this song. Right.

And for guys who write musical, you know, comedy music. Right. You can kinda get away with that. I went and saw Dawes, one of my favorite bands, put on an incredible show at the Orpheum and I was just like, you know, sometimes I'm envious of people who just do the one thing. Like I look at the guy playing the piano

and I'm like, I'm not saying the guy doesn't have other interests and other abilities, but he's pretty much, what he does is I'm the guy that plays piano in this band and he's so good at it and everybody who plays their own individual instrument, they're just, that whole 10,000 hours thing, they've just done it and what we tend to do is just play, all right, well, this is the thing that we're doing,

let's figure out how to do that. Not become experts, but no, become good enough at it to do it and to learn something from it and then move on to the next thing. And so I don't know, being able to snap my fingers and have that ability would just be awesome. Yeah, to be a virtuoso instantaneously at the language that, the universal language that is music.

Right, and then you could just play music to the aliens, which Close Encounters of the Third Kind, they communicated via music. And now, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, great movie, again, they play music and it makes you cry. Eh, it's not realistic because they play a little song and then it would end with a laser beam just blowing up the earth.

That's how it should have ended. Unless they were trying to procreate and then the joke's on them. For me, my answer, the one that I'm going with is, because I get so frustrated with this, is that I would be able to remember everybody's name. Once somebody tells me their name, I would know it forever.

And maybe I could get away with saying I will remember everything, but I'm just gonna, this name fright thing I think is getting worse. Oh, well you're getting older. Your brain is getting worse. I am psyching myself out. People whose names I know, I now don't say their name to their face because I have this little shred of doubt

that's getting bigger and bigger that I'm not, I'm not gonna say their right name. Well, there's a good reason for that doubt. And I've known him since first grade or something. It's gonna be really weird. Rob. Yeah, did you just call me Rob? Just say man.

I know, but that's it. Hey man. You know, that's not a great way to make people feel valued or known. Hey ya. Hey ya. Hey ya. Hey ya.

Hey girl. Hey girl. Okay, well. Hey lady. Good luck with that. Miri H. says, what's the best slash worst practical joke that you've played on someone or that was played on you? Well, you know the first thing I thought of.

The best slash worst practical joke that we did. Yeah, well we've told this story before so I'm gonna tell an incredibly condensed version and really what I'm gonna say is that I learned recently that my kids had never heard this story. Well give them a nothing, I mean, even if you've heard it, it's worth hearing again because it was the best slash worst practical joke

we ever played on anybody. But you have to tell both parts because you have to tell the high school part first. Yeah. In high school, we were in a group of friends that was six guys and six girls. There was some dating that happened off and on, you know, it was just like a television show.

And there was one night in particular that all the guys were outside and we were all gonna go someplace together and the girls were inside one of the girls' houses. And we wanted to get inside, in fact, Link had to do a number two, a duty. Yeah, a poop. I needed to poop. And they thought it would be funny to not let him in. To lock the door.

So what that turned into. And I in turn thought it would be funny to crap in a box. Like a Tupperware. There was a Tupperware box outside and Link went behind the bus, her dad drove a bus. Her mom, I think her mom drove the bus. Okay, mom drove the bus. There was a wood pile back there too,

I remember the smell of wood when I was squatting. Intermingling with the smell of duty. Yeah, I was trying to poop in the box. So he poops into the Tupperware and then we take the Tupperware, we put it in the girl's car, it was Leslie's car and it was a white Plymouth Acclaim. Acclaim.

Great car. Puts it under the front seat and leaves the top off, we close the doors and then we get into our car because the whole idea was eventually we're all gonna go someplace in two different cars or three different cars, whatever it was. I remember sitting in my car, which we had the light shine on them

as they were getting in their car. The girls come out of the house. And I don't know, I actually wasn't in the car because my vantage point, somehow I was in the house looking out. Oh, I was in the car. I was in the house, I don't know how I got in there. So they get in the car. I was in the house, I don't know how I got in there. So they get into the car and then immediately get back out

and start looking at their shoes like, who stepped in dog crap, which could happen in North Carolina. And watching that, that's the moment where it just, it felt so good, it felt so successful. To see them scramble around and look at, everyone to look at their own shoes. Now they overreacted.

I'll tell you, it smelled worse than any dog poop you'll ever step in. Human feces is the worst smell on the planet. And mine is the worst of that. So, again. I mean, all I ate in high school was like Cheetos, peanut butter, and chocolate milk. So, one of the girls took the Tupperware

and went into Chris Gardner's car and opened the door and threw it onto his seat. Threw the, just straight up crap. I actually wiped that part from my memory. They didn't, no pun intended. They overreacted, they didn't set the Tupperware down, they put it into his seat, straight dukes. They were angry.

Now first of all, let me just say, this is a horrible story, don't do this. Yes, there was something wrong with us, there is still something wrong with us. But you asked the question. But at least, I mean we were in high school, we were immature, it's not like we were in college. It's not like we were married.

So, because we were married when we did what I'm about to tell, which is part two of the story. No we weren't, were we? Yes we were, because I remember being in bed in Chapel Hill with my wife when I got a call from you know who who told us that we had to apologize. We were married when we did this. Oh gosh, so here we are telling this story again.

Okay so long story short, there was some, again, some girls who we knew who were having a party and they were making a big deal about how fancy it was gonna be and how they were all gonna dress up. We were like, we'll see about that. We were hanging out with friends. I mean I don't think. We weren't even great friends with these girls.

They were, the guys that we were hanging out with were better friends with them but we knew everyone involved. So anyway. We were hanging out with the guys and we weren't gonna go to the party and we weren't gonna go to the party. We weren't gonna go to the party. We were just hanging out over here. We were kind of being assholes a little bit already

about the party because we thought that the fact that they were dressing up and we're like, get over yourselves, we're all in college, who cares? But we started to tell this old story about the crap in the car. And then I don't know who came up with the idea, but it was why don't we all start crapping in this Tupperware and see where that goes.

And so Link went first, Greg went second. By the way, I highly recommend if multiple people are gonna crap in a Tupperware, go first. I know that, did Tim harm and Greg, because I didn't, I did not, I didn't have to and nor did I want to. I feel bad because you know, they hate it when we tell this story.

Yeah right, on the internet. We didn't use full names. And then we're sitting here telling it again and like every time we do it's just like, all it brings up for most of them is just shame and frustration and why are we still milking this for comedy? 20 years ago.

I'm sorry, guys. We said it was the worst. We said it was the worst. We said it was the worst. But then we also said it was the best and we're also still grinning. You said it was the best. I was joking.

It's the worst. It's the worst. It is the worst. I don't recommend this. Now, so. The answer to the question is no, everyone didn't participate. But like four guys did, enough. I mean all you need is one, trust me. But four is worse than that.

So then we came up with a plan. This is so stupid, so mean, don't do this. We came up with a plan to go over to the party. I would begin talking to everybody and create a distraction in one room and then Link would go in the other room. He has a bag of Lay's potato chips which instead of the chips in the bag, it was a Tupperware

full of human feces. He would go, he would put the Tupperware underneath a couch or some piece of furniture, he would take the top off and then we would all leave. This is exactly what happened. We showed up and within five minutes, the plan was executed, we got in the car, we gave each other five like a bunch of idiots

and then we drove back to whoever's house we were at to begin with and then that was when the phone started blowing up because obviously we were the ones that were responsible for it. I think it took some amount of time for them to actually locate the problem. Seven minutes is a long time if it took that long. You just follow your nose really is what you do.

And anyway. There was quite a search I was told. So we did not respond to any of the phone calls and then like I said, one of the, I was married at the time, my wife was still in college, I was still kind of hanging with the folks in college and. Which makes you a loser anyway.

Right. And me, because I was married. And then another adult much older than us who knew all of us called me and was like, first of all, there was five guys involved, he was like you and Link need to apologize. So we had to be the ones to go apologize. And you know what, I think that was totally fair.

And so we went over to the girls' house, we sat down with the two girls whose house it was and we apologized and we felt, we did feel bad about it. It was a mean thing to do. But I ended up telling my kids this story. Like a week ago? In the past month and they could not believe that it had happened.

So I guess this is the way people, it doesn't seem that crazy to me, I know it was wrong, but they could not believe that we did it. And then, It's heinous. When their cousins came into town, cousins both in high school, my two nephews, they were like, Dad, you gotta tell them. You gotta tell them the story.

And I told them the story. And again, it's just like, they can't believe that. And again, yeah, you shouldn't crap in Tupperware and leave it in places. I mean, should've known that. But it took two times of doing it to know that it was wrong. But I thought you told me that they had ideas for how you could've done that joke better.

Well, Locke did say, dad, you should totally have waited much longer than right after you got there. Like you should've gone to the party and then like an hour into the party, unleashed it and then stayed for the search. And then been one of the five. It wasn't a game of Clue, son, it was a prank.

We just wanted to leave. But if you're gonna do it that way. It made it painfully obvious. How many miles of toilet paper, this is fitting, this is from Michael Alberts. How many miles of toilet paper do you think you've used? Hashtag your biscuits. I did the calculation.

Now first of all, did you look at any of my numbers? No, you know what happens to me when I look at numbers. Well just guess, how many miles of toilet paper do you think I have used in my life? Well you are old. Yeah. And you do wipe a lot. Yeah, the two factors that you need to know.

And a square is about what, four inches? Yeah, traditionally four to four and a half inches. Oh okay. In length, I went four and a half inches. Oh, okay. In length, I went with a four inch measurement. Oh, wow. So we're on the same, you're in the ballpark already. Let's see, I'm gonna say, you want it in kilometers or miles?

I would like it in miles because that is what Michael asked for. Okay. Bloodmime on Twitter. That's interesting. I'm gonna say just for a nice clean answer, a marathon, 26 miles. Okay, that is not a bad guess at all

because I calculated 38 miles. Whoa, 38 miles. No. So I undershot it. What I based this on is me over the course of a lifetime averaging 20 squares per wipe per trip. First of all, that's too much. I averaged it 20 because as like a teen, it was just indiscriminate.

You were reckless. Yeah, so I use less than that now. I use a minimal amount of squares at this point. But it doesn't take long to get to 20 squares. Now that came out to an average of twice, two craps a day. Two craps a day? On average?

Okay. I would say one, I think one's plenty. Like 201,000 feet basically basically which comes out to 38 miles which is about a mile of toilet paper a year. Now just to make sure that I wasn't crazy, I did go on the internets and I did look up that the average person, according to Mental Floss, does about 1.3 miles per year.

So I was, my calculation was in the ballpark. And what this equates to is about 50 pounds of toilet paper per person per year, which, this is surprising, two person household goes through on average one tree worth of toilet paper per year. A two person household. A two person household. A two person household doing that.

They wipe a tree's worth. 1.3 miles of toilet paper per year, which is about 50 pounds of toilet paper, equates to a tree. And I don't know how big a tree, a tree can be, it's pretty, quite a sliding scale on the size of trees but a tree's worth of toilet paper. Just think about that next time you're cleaning up.

I'm surprised that there's not some other, some shammy version of a paper towel. That's reusable. No doubt there is, I'm sure you can get it on Amazon. Like a reusable. Well don't you remember we met that guy in Asheville, North Carolina when we were shooting the pilot episode for Commercial Kings.

His name was like Star or something like that. He's one of those older hippie dudes that was essentially homeless in Asheville. he's one of those older hippie dudes that was essentially homeless in Asheville. But he had created one single plastic bag's worth of trash for the entire year. He was like, this is all the waste that I have created for the year.

All waste. So what did he wipe his butt with? Whatever, the chamois you're talking about. He had a chamois, no doubt. Now, because it's just like the cloth diapers. Yeah, it's just like cloth. Or you could just use a bidet. Yep, even after, well if you had the bidet

with a blow dryer. But you really gotta stay down there for a while to get completely dry. Yep, yep, doesn't happen. So. Well that's it, we're ending with some math. We've saved enough time since we're at this point in the podcast, I wanted to get into a recommendation

because you said we're gonna end the podcast with a recommendation. Right. So the recs are in effect. Check baby, check baby, one, two, three, four. So each week, one of us will have one recommendation. Sometimes we will both have a point of reference for this. Sometimes we won't.

This one is a dual wreck. Yeah, so this is something that my kids found. I was. And then you texted it to me and it blew my mind. I was with my boys over the holidays and we were, the three of us were in the hot tub and we started watching YouTube videos and they were like dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad.

Search Badlands Chugs. Badlands space Chugs, C-H-U-G-S. I was like Badlands Chugs. They were like we love this guy, we love him. So Badlands Chugs is the recommendation for this week. This is a guy. Well you sent me a link to a particular episode that was, it was a tutorial.

That was the tutorial part one. Tutorial part one, this is the first thing I ever watched and I had a great experience starting with that particular video. You don't have to start there but I feel like you get the full breadth of what Badlands is about if you watch the tutorial. Yeah, I mean he's a mountain of a man who,

I started looking on Wikipedia and finding out who this guy was, just the back story is, he's a professional competitive eater, but he also is a professional chugger of liquids. And then he has YouTube videos where he's just chugging different things. And. It's remarkable. It's remarkable. But then he does a tutorial

in multiple parts where he teaches you his techniques. He calls it opening up the chug books. But the way that he talks, the things he chooses to say and the ways that he chooses to insert pregnant pauses because there's not much of any editing is brilliant. I think that's the most significant thing beyond everything that you just said is the fact that at least in the 10 or so videos that I've watched,

no jump cuts and he doesn't, no pun intended, milk it. So you've got, he has, by the way, chugged an entire gallon of chocolate milk and he does it in one single chug, okay? In like under a minute. It's nuts. Now, I don't know if he throws up later, but he doesn't show you that.

But so many YouTubers, and we may be guilty of this to some degree, but we don't really make these kinds of videos. But you know, I watch, I'll click on those videos where there's dudes in Australia who like drop things, they go out and drop things off of that tower. I haven't seen it.

They got, somewhere in the western like near Perth or something in the western part of Australia and entertaining videos, I don't remember the name of them but they drop things onto things. It sounds like something that we would do. It seems that that's the main thing they do, at least those are the ones that I've clicked on. But they're really playing the YouTube game hard.

We know about that, these videos are over 10 minutes long. There's a bunch of editing and they're constantly kind of building up to something. They're asking you to subscribe and to hit like and the different things and playing the YouTube game all throughout which I can tolerate it because I understand that that's how you gotta make a living. Badlands Chug says, uh-uh, what I'm gonna do

is I'm going to cut the camera on, I'm going to tell you what I'm doing, I'm going to show you the Sprite Cranberry that I'm about to chug, there's gonna be a very short intro that says Badlands Chugs or something like that and then it's gonna come back and I'm gonna chug this thing and then when I'm done, I'm gonna say see you next time. And it's gonna be as long as it is,

which is typically two minutes or less. And that's a Badlands Chugs video. That's what opening up the chug books is all about. I like, at the end of tutorial part one, it was like, and next time, I'll teach you something else. It's like he doesn't, you can tell he doesn't quite know what he's gonna teach you next. But he'll figure it out between now and then.

But he'll figure it out before then. And then he does, and then he teaches it to you. So that's the recommendation, if you've got some time to kill, Badlands Chugs, I mean you wanna see. You don't need time to kill, you need to rearrange your life. You wanna see.

To prioritize it. A man just absolutely kill beverages. I'd love to meet him. I think he was on Kimmel a few years back. Oh really? So it's not like we're the first to discover this guy. Oh no, no, no, no, he recently passed. He's dead? No, he recently passed. He's dead?

No, he recently passed 100,000 subscribers. I think he's zeroing in on 200,000 subscribers. Hopefully we'll send him over the edge. Maybe we can get him on our show. I'd love to chug, man. I'd love to chug with that man. Let's look into that. All right, thanks for hanging with us

and listening to us answer questions that other people have asked on the internet. That's what just happened. People ask us questions. Well when you put it like that. And we answer them, just, you know, from our own personal experience and knowledge and it got, it's real. I mean, it got real.

I really like the spin you put on that. It's like, all right, hit that like button. Click the bell. All that jazz. Click the bell for notifications. Make sure you like, comment, and subscribe. And we're gonna be dropping a bowling ball onto a block of ice from 100 feet at the end of this video.

You know we would if they hadn't already done it. We don't have a tower like that. And come back next week and we'll teach you something else. You can't do that in Los Angeles. Hashtag air biscuits, talk at us, and then next week we'll talk back at you. Love ya.