Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 191: If You Were a Boat, What Type of Boat Would You Be? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 191

Episode Date: April 29, 2019

The perfect question for a first date (you're welcome). What seems like a simple question turns into intense self-analysis. Listen as R&L deconstruct their personalities in this episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the Round Table of Dim Lighting, we're asking the question, if you were a boat, what type of boat would you be? And this might strike you as an odd question, maybe you've thought about this before.

We actually got- I you've thought about this before. We actually got. I've never thought about it. We got this question from Mr. Alex Punch who has moved on to bigger and better things, still remains good friends. He actually stopped by today. He didn't tell me he was gonna be here. Mythical crew member emeritus.

Yeah, so. Let's call him that. So we're happy for Alex as he had a great opportunity Mythical Crew member Emeritus. Yeah. Let's call him that. So we're happy for Alex as he had a great opportunity working for somebody. It's not me so I don't, once he told me he had an opportunity and we heard about the specifics, I was like, oh yeah, okay, well, I don't remember.

No. I'm not gonna promote his company. We wish him well. We wish him well. We wish him well. We wish him well, we love him. And we're using one of his ideas for this podcast. He actually, this is an idea that he actually pitched for a Near Biscuit.

He said that his mother was a child therapist. She said, he said counselor, I think, maybe therapist too. Yeah, something along those lines. And this is a question that she gets the children that she works with to ask and answer. And if we've proven anything, if something's good enough for children, it's good enough for us.

For man children? Yeah. Good enough for children, good enough for man children. So really this was, I mean it was basically, it was an idea conceived by Alex's mom, along with Alex conceived by his mom. It's probably in some sort of book or something that she studied.

You think she came up with it? Let's just say we came up with it. Let's cut everything we just said. Okay, all right, we came up with this question. We got this idea that we think would be good for child counselors and therapists. What kind of boat would you be if you could be a boat? Because it gives insight into how you view your own.

Self. Self. Your personhood, your personality. Well we're gonna answer the question for each other. We're gonna answer the question for each other as well. We're gonna guess which boat. I'm not trying to guess which boat you described yourself as, I'm just describing, my thought was to describe what boat I thought you were

and you may or may not agree. Yeah, I. And then you can tell me what boat you are and vice versa. I know what boat I think I am and I know what boat I think you are, which I incidentally think is the boat that you think you are. And I would be, but we are gonna talk about

the different types of boats and so my answers may change, but as it stands right now, just with my limited knowledge of boats coming into this, I'm not a boat master. I like to think of myself as a waterman, but I've only been in a few boats. What is a waterman? It's just a man of the water.

And you think of yourself that way? You think of yourself as a man of the water? Yeah, like my heritage, those Scots up on the locks, crossing the locks, crossing the locks and swimming and boating and Vikings pillaging villages. I get it. But not really doing that personally because I get a little seasick.

I think of myself as a soilman. Yeah. Like a man of the soil. And I think that your last name, we talked about this at some point, I think that your name Neil means to like kneel and plant a seed. It doesn't, it doesn't.

It's a man who kneels. I don't know what it means, but that ain't it. And caresses the soil. I think it's a farming thing, I do think it is a farming thing. Yeah. You know, a man of the soil, man of the water. Water's gotta have soil, soil's gotta have water,

so you have mud. That's why we're the muddied boys. We're the muddied boys. Okay so we're not. No, not muddied boys, just the muddy boys. But we should talk about yesterday because yesterday was technically a work day yet. Speaking of child therapy.

We didn't, took advantage of, took advantage of time that we rarely have to not come into the office and also red alert, not really work that much. Last, like coming back from Thanksgiving break, I looked at the whole calendar year for 2019 and I was like, I wanna go ahead and put all the stuff on the calendar that we know about,

like we're doing a lot of touring stuff, we're shooting a lot of GMM of course. I wanna know every day in 2019 that we're shooting anything and obligated to stuff. And I wanna put blackout dates like the credit card companies do or like Disney does when you buy an annual pass. like the credit card companies do or like Disney does when you buy an annual pass. So Jen and I worked very hard on this calendar.

Oh so that blacktop Monday was months old. That's from Thanksgiving last year, yeah. I guess I didn't tell you. You didn't tell me because it was Sunday night, my wife was with you and Christy. Yeah with Jessie, she was hanging out with us. And she said are you working tomorrow? I was like yeah. And she said well Link's not. And he was looking, she was with me and Christy. Yeah with Jessie, she was hanging out with us. And she said are you working tomorrow? I was like yeah.

And she said well Link's not. And he was looking, she was with me and she was like, I was like listen, don't, please don't put me in the middle of this. It's on the calendar. Yeah but it's. It's on the special Link and Jenna calendar. But it's a Monday.

That you were invited to. It's a Monday though. It just, I mean. Yeah but after tour, I'm not, anyway. No I'm glad, I'm glad I didn't come. Cause watch out buying that annual pass, look at the blackout dates first. You show up at Disney and you're like.

And they turn you away. What, no. You have to drop a thousand quid to get in there. So we had a day with our, I mean I had a day with Shepard, my youngest, you had a day with. Well me and Christy hung out and then. Your middle. Well I mean Christy and I were gonna hang out

and do some stuff and the mail had really piled up. But then Lily was sick, she called and had to come home from school, I was like well now you gotta go get her and now I gotta figure this out and I'm gonna do a little bit of work. So then, but then I picked up Lando and then I picked up Lincoln from school. It's just like, whoa, that just feels great to pick up a kid from school.

It feels like I'm dadding so hard. Look at me driving up. Get in the car, kid. I'm gonna be banging some Chicago. Blasting Chicago. I'm gonna be banging some Chicago. Blasting Chicago. I'm not banging Chicago. Sounds like I'm having sex with the band Chicago. Which I've never been given that opportunity

so I can't say what I would do. Or the city of Chicago. I'm sure there's a place, there's some area you could find. Blasting. Did you blast it for real? I blasted it, yeah. So like, would the windows roll down? So you're trying to embarrass your kids?

Not with the windows rolled down, but when he opened the door to get in, it just spilled out. Chicago just blew out like the Windy City. And what, was there a, Dad, Dad! A quick shut of the door, or was there an embarrassment factor? Lincoln doesn't do that.

Lily's the one to do that and Lando for totally different reasons. I don't know, I won't get into that but they both have their reasons but you know, the middle child, he just goes with the flow, man, whatevs. And he gets in the car and he's like, oh you got the bikes on the back. I'm using your bike rack a lot, thank you for that.

Yeah, you haven't brought it back. I keep using it. Somebody's gotta use it. I'm using your bike rack a lot. Thank you for that. Yeah, you haven't brought it back. I keep using it. Somebody's gotta use it. Well, I would like to use it. I bought Lincoln a mountain bike. Bought Lincoln, well, just call me. That's not how it works. Just call me if you need it.

I really need it. Bring it back to my house and then, or get your own. Well, I already have yours. I really didn't wanna talk about this because I didn't want it to come to this, but. Because you knew that it would. It's mine now. No it's not. That bike rack's mine.

You made a good choice in buying it because it works great. Yeah it's a good bike rack. I like how it works. It's the best. Right. Highest rated. You should get another one for your house. And then I'll sell it to you for the price of a new one. I already have one.

Yeah, you're gonna buy me a new one. So I actually bought myself a new one. I already have one. Yeah, you're gonna buy me a new one. So I actually bought myself a new bike and I gave Lincoln my old bike because I got a bigger one. You got a new mountain bike? I did, yeah. When did this happen? I got a 29er.

When I borrowed the thing from you like two months ago. You got shocks in the front and back, dual? No, I only got them in the front because my old bike, which Lincoln was going to ride, is a hardtail and I didn't want him looking at my bike and have any excuse for why he doesn't wanna ride with me. Oh, okay. So mine's a hardtail. And so he's like, oh, you got the bikes on the back.

I was like, yeah, remember I told you I was gonna pick you up from school, we're gonna go biking. He knows, I can't tell if Lincoln's into it yet or if he knows that I'm so into it that he's just being very polite so he doesn't put up a fight. So we went and we were biking on this single track

and I picked something that wasn't too ambitious because I don't wanna burn him. The thing is, the last couple of times we've been out, I've taken Lando too and I was very delinquent in teaching Lando to ride a bike. Like literally I taught him to ride a bike three months ago. So you can't go, he's nine years old. You're not gonna go up and down any hills

with that situation. But then that bike was too small so then I had to buy him a bike and the only place in town had these like, they were like mountain bikes and I was like, so he went from learning to ride a bike to a week later like riding a mountain bike but he, that's the key. Don't try to teach, you parents out there,

don't try to teach your kids at a young age to do anything. Wait until they can basically figure it out on their own and then take all the credit. That's not good advice. My son learned how to ride a bike in 10 minutes and two weeks later he was on a mountain bike in the woods because of me waiting until he was way too old to learn how to do it.

That goes for reading, that goes for math, that goes for. This is questionable on many levels. It goes for like relationships. Don't have open communication with your kids about anything until it's basically too late and then you can take all the credit for how they're doing everything perfectly. Yeah, this is kind of fizzling out.

I'm a soil man, it's different for me than most people. But I will say, we get out on the single track and I was like, Lincoln, you go in front of me, that way you can set the pace, I can keep an eye on you, I can bark orders to you. Like shift down, shift up, like coaching. Oh, coaching you call it. You gotta learn how to mountain bike from the back.

If you're in the front and you're yelling, you can't be heard. Cause all of the sound fires forward down the trail. There's horses on this trail. I wanted him to go first in case he was gonna like run up and took us off a horse. That ain't gonna be me. Get a handlebar and a horse took us?

So is he, what kind of, we're not talking going up and down steep us. So is he, what kind of, we're not talking going up and down steep grades. A little bit, yeah. And he's fine with this. He's afraid. I took, what I was saying was I took Lando out on this trail a few days earlier.

I always get so ambitious and I scare my kids off and like Lando's like basically huffing and puffing and breaking down in tears and saying, dad, you lied to me. You said this was gonna be flat. And I'm like, Lando, you're right, I'm sorry. We can turn around right now. I'm just trying to patch it up because I don't wanna

turn him off from my you know, my passion. Mountain biking is your passion? It was my passion, I lost it, I'm trying to regain it. Okay. With my boys, with my children. With Lily too, but she's not up for it. So we had to turn around and I'm like, Lincoln, we're gonna come back, just me and you,

and we're gonna blaze this trail without that loser kid. And all I mean by loser kid is the one that we kept losing. Okay. I love him, he's not a loser, but we kept losing him, so doesn't that make him a loser? That makes me a loser.

On two levels, that's true. So we went back and we're on this trail and Lincoln's going ahead of me, and I had a moment that I was like, a moment of dad gratitude, da gratitude. And I was like, this is a dream come true. Like literally I've been, well not dreaming, but I've been daydreaming about this moment

where I'm like mountain biking on a single track with my own progeny. What specifically happened? Nothing, we just rode the bikes. Oh. It was special. I thought like his helmet got in front of the sun or something.

You thought I was building up to a story? I thought something specific happened. That happened, man. A moment of gratitude like, I mean, just mean, just you and your boy doing something. Yeah, I had a crepe with my boy. You had a crepe? Did you have a degratitude moment with a crepe? I had an excellent day with Shepard.

I mean, we really had a good time. We got lunch together. He has a crepe problem. If there's a crepe on the menu, he will order it. How's that a problem? Well, I would say it's a borderline addiction to crepes. But you know, there's a lot worse things to be addicted to than crepes.

Is he like stealing money from your wallet and you're like, what are you doing? You're like busting the room and he's like, I learned it from you, Dad, I saw you eat a thin pancake. I'm scraping together scratch for a crepe. But we split the crepe. You know, we each had a sandwich, we split the crepe, having a great discussion, we've each got a.

Were you in Paris? No, just, you know, they serve crepes at US establishments. Oh cool. Although this was a French bakery. And then we went to a park that has just all kinds of things going on and so we each took a book and I was like, Shepard, do you have a book

that you could read because it was a beautiful day, we're gonna walk around. Beautiful day, wasn't it? we're gonna find a bench. Wasn't it the perfect day? Yeah, and do some bench reading. Screw mountain biking when you can read on a bench. A bench is like a mountain bike. That doesn't move, can't get hurt on a bench.

I can prove you wrong there. But so we go and Shepherd has in mind, this is a large area and there's all kinds of stuff at this place and he has a map and he's like, I'm letting him lead and he's like, he's having a lot of fun and he's like, we need to find a desolate bench. I was like, I'm on team desolate bench.

He said desolate bench. I'm completely on board. He said there's a lot of people. He's 11 years old, right? 10, he's like, there's a lot of people here. Desolate bench. He said desolate bench. I'm completely on board. He said there's a lot of people. He's 11 years old, right? 10, he's like, there's a lot of people here. Desolate bench. And we need to find a desolate, we need to go to the most desolate place.

So we go to a desolate place and I'm like, okay, this is cool, we're talking, we're making observations about the natural world. We begin reading and then as soon as we get down, we read like two pages of our books and then Shepherd's like, I got to get some water. And he's like, Dad, will you let me use the map to map to a water fountain and then come back.

This is quite a park, it's got its own map. And I was like, yeah, go for it. Independence, I value that, I'm a proponent of it. He goes and then really the idea wasn't to get water, it was to go away and then try to sneak up on me. Oh. He wanted, and so. He's got that gene.

Yeah, and so like, I'm sitting there reading and I'm like. And just what I mean by that is Rhett would do that a lot to me, his children. Where is Shepard? And I just kinda looked and he was like 10 feet behind me sneaking up on me, he's like, oh, Dad! Just in the open?

Yeah, and then repeatedly, he would leave and continue to sneak up on me. And I called him every time. Why you gotta catch him every time? And then he was like. He let him slip up once. Can you hear me? And I was like, Shepard, I know where you're at

at all times. Oh, you playing that? This is an opportunity to make you feel like he can't escape my watch. This is giving him the God complex. But then one of the things, he's like, Dad, there is a, he says, look at these secret, in the little map, it was like, find our hidden spots.

This is a large multi-acre situation. And he was like, find our hidden spots. This is a large multi-acre situation. And he was like, find our hidden spots. There is a Fibonacci, he couldn't say it. He was like, there's a Fibonacci spiral of rocks somewhere in this particular forest. Let's go find it. So we start looking for the Fibonacci spiral and we didn't find it because, and ironically,

we probably should have done a Fibonacci sequence search pattern in order to find the Fibonacci sequence, but we didn't do that and we ran out of time, we had to go pick up Locke from school. Anyway, had an incredible time with Shepard. Still undiscovered. He kept saying, I'm having so much fun. Oh, he kept saying that?

This is great, we're on an adventure. That's awesome. So I had a dati, dati, dati, datitude, dati, no, I didn't have a datitude. Degratitude. Degratitude, but let me say just one little thing here. Say it. And I'm a little bit embarrassed by this.

As someone who has an engineering degree and has a lot of mathematical experience, I could have picked out a Fibonacci sequence and if you gave me four images, I could have picked the one that was a Fibonacci sequence probably because Brandon Tartt got it tattooed on his forearm. It looks like a snail shell, right?

Right, but I did not, I could not have defined what a Fibonacci sequence is. And maybe you're in the same boat, speaking of transitions to what we're gonna talk about next. But a Fibonacci sequence, it's this fascinating thing. In fact, I actually think, I actually ordered a book all about it because I'm so fascinated by it. And I'd heard about it and people talk about

the golden ratio but I was always like, I don't really know what that is and I'm not gonna look it up. But essentially a Fibonacci sequence is starting from the numbers zero and one and then continuing in a sequence where the next number is the sum of the previous two numbers. So you got zero and then one and the next number is zero plus one which is one, the next number is one plus of the previous two numbers. So you got zero and then one and the next number

is zero plus one which is one, the next number is one plus one which is two and then two plus one which is three and then five and then eight and then 13 and then 21 and it continues to add up like that. And then if you take, the way you get that pattern is if you take squares that the length of the side of the squares is the number in the Fibonacci sequence and you continue to connect

the corners of the squares with the next biggest one, it goes out like this and it creates like a snail pattern. A spiral. A spiral that's very recognizable pattern. But then if you take any two numbers in the Fibonacci sequence, the number and then the number before it, and you divide the number before it by the number after it,

you get this number called phi, which we know pi is a very popular mathematical number, but phi is like 1.618 something. And that's the- A constant. That's the golden ratio, and you see it all the time in nature. But also there's many people who made sculptures who were like, I want the proportions of someone's face,

the proportions of the length, the width of their face to be phi, and you see it in like, Hank Green's got an old SciShow video where he kind of, in like three minutes, kind of explains it and talks about the patterns and how you see these numbers and the sequence show up in nature all the time. Like, flowers are usually and have petals of,

you know, three, five, eight, 13, 21. And it shows up in all these places in nature and it seems like some magic thing, but really it's just, it's the most efficient way to like pack things into different patterns. Anyway, super exciting. You should talk to my wife more about that. She's really into it.

You know, she was a math major. She was. She was also told as she was in high school that whatever she did with a boyfriend that her grandma up in heaven was watching her. Was her grandma Fibonacci? No, it was just kind of like when you told Shepard that you heaven was watching her. Was her grandma Fibonacci? No, it was just kinda like when you told Shepard that you're always watching him, so he stays in line.

But I'm super excited to talk to Shepard about it now because it's like I- Now my wife's grandma watches me. Is watching us. Watching me, no, not us. She's sitting right here. No, whenever I'm with Christy. No, whenever you're- She's watching us.

No, whenever you're with the band Chicago. That's when she's watching. My grandmas are still living, so they only watch me when I'm there or video chat. But I'm legitimately like, I'm like now. It's pretty crazy. I'm ready to go back and A, find it. I'm talking about the sequence.

Yeah, but B, explain to Shepard, this is actually this really cool concept that shows up. And I just felt, you know what it made me think? It made me think that like, I felt like I've been missing out. I was like, why have I never, I've heard people talk about this, and why have I let it just wash over me?

41 years old, consider myself pretty curious. Why have I let the reality of the Fibonacci sequence to just wash over me without ever just taking literally the 30 seconds to look at the wiki to figure out what it is? I understand the sentiment but I'll just counter that by saying also don't let that wash over you but also don't let, don't let that wash over you, but also don't let, and I'm sure you didn't, let the fact that Shepard told you,

especially more than once, that he was having a good time. Because the dad, I mean we've talked about this a lot, like the goal of dadding we operate under a lot of times seems to be like, I'm conducting this thing and I want acknowledgement. And so the fact that you got that, that's a big deal. And I actually think if you didn't, you should tell him something similar

to what I told Lincoln. Cause I sat Lincoln down at the, when we were coming back from our ride, we're almost done, we sat down on the rocks and finished our water bottles and I said, I told Lincoln what I just told you. I was like, you know when we first started riding and you were riding ahead of me, I was thinking,

this is like a dream come true for me. I've been thinking about us being able to ride mountain bikes together for like months and there's a lot of logistics that had to line up and this is very special and I just said that and then we took a picture and I left it at that. I wasn't asking for a response or anything but the fact that Shepherd did that,

saying something like, you know when you said you were having a great time, that made me feel like I just discovered Fibonacci's sequence. Right. That's what it's all about, man. Also, rabbits. That's the boat you wanna get in. Also, rabbits mate in Fibonacci numbers.

I'm gonna teach him about that. That's how I'm gonna have it. Mate or reproduce? Well, the results of mating. Okay. I'm gonna teach him about sex with Fibonacci. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express

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Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Okay, boats. So Link, you apparently have a list of different types of boats. Yeah, I assembled a list and then

of every type of boat in existence and then I uploaded it to brand spanking new wiki page called List of Boat Types. That's pretty thoughtful of you. This is entirely my work in alphabetical order. So here's the deal. Good gracious, there's a lot of boats. As I read through, I'm not gonna read them all,

but I'm just thinking, dear Ear Biscuiteer, maybe one of these boats will resonate with you so that you'll be able to answer this question and this is a good conversation for you to have with people that you wanna get to know better. Like say you're on a third date and you're like, hey baby, what kind of boat would you be if you were a boat? This is a good, I mean, I think this is first

or second date material, those kinds of questions, those kinds of introspective questions. The third date, by the third date. I think it's a little forced for a first date. It's kinda weird, unless you are a therapist. I mean, I know, I'm a proponent of getting into. Get weird early. To those kinds of conversations

because here's the thing. Obviously I'm not in the dating pool. If I were and I asked that question to someone and they were like, I don't know. Dump them. I'd be like, okay, there's not gonna be a second date. It's over, yeah, you're right. That's a good test.

I can't stand that kind of answer. I want somebody to have a freaking answer for something. All right, that's good. So this is a first date question, you're right. Yeah. Hey, if you could be a boat. This is how you weed somebody out. What kind of boat, if you could be a weed,

what kind of weed would you be? And if they say I don't know and that be? And if they say I don't know, and that's it. If they say I don't know, well what kind of boats are there? Well okay, that's fine. Yeah, that's fine. But if they say I don't know, and essentially saying I don't wanna talk about this. If they poo poo the question.

They're not, I mean, I'm not gonna go on a second date. Right, you can't poo poo fun esoteric questions on a first date. And if they say the wrong kind of boat, it's not gonna be a second date. Well you can, yeah, you're gonna learn a lot. Airboat, auxiliary ship, banana boat, brig, bass boat.

I'm like a bass boat. And you can't just say, because I'm a redneck. No. Because I'm a fisherman. No, it's. It's the functionality of the boat. I'm flat, I'm shallow. Bass boats are shallow.

Oh, really, you're getting in, oh. So if you wanna say, so if you wanna say, I'm shallow so I'm a bass boat, I've got, I don't know, what else would it mean about you if you were a bass boat? Limited capacity. I think, first of all, I don't, I think you should go through

the boat types because I think the way that you interpret the boats, like you just said shallow, that's your thing. Like for me, I wasn't thinking in terms of shallowness but you can bring it, I think that's the point of the question. There's no wrong answer. Professor Punch, if she were here, she would be able to tell us but I think it is what you make it.

I wish she worked for us. Maybe that's how it works, once you leave your parents come and work for us. Canoe. Uh-huh. Chunden Valum. Not familiar. Crash rescue boat.

This is somebody who likes to swoop in and save the day, or whenever they're needed. Yeah. You know, they're there. I'm not reading every single boat that I wrote on this Wiki, I'm just, just whichever hits me. Dingy. Let's see, fairy.

So this, I think again, this is more of like a facilitator, somebody who likes to help people get from point A to point B and that could be emotionally, it could be metaphysically, it could be physically if you're like a bus driver. And that would be someone who was, in my interpretation, stuck in a pattern of only helping people because a fairy just goes back and forth, back and forth. So on a first date.

Like a codependency kind of thing. Your date's like, I think I'm a fairy because I'm stuck in a rut of helping people. Yeah I'd be like, no second date for you. Are you a dingy? Friendship sloop. Okay well that didn't know that was a boat.

But definitely that. Garbage scowl. I think I know what that is. It's a boat that carries garbage, garbage scowl, I think I know what that is. It's a boat that carries garbage, garbage scowl. Hydrofoil, oh this is technologically advanced. It reaches a speed and then it floats above the water. Well not floats, it ascends. So this is like, I don't know what kind of person

that would be, maybe if your head's always in the clouds, I'm stretching here. I think a hydrofoil might be a little bit of a show off. Oh yeah, here I am, up above the water! You just can't settle for just floating. You gotta levitate. You always gotta be moving too. Inflatable boat.

Oh, mm-hmm. Reliant upon the hot air of other people. Oh. I think that's you, man. I've got all my own hot air. I blow a lot of smoke. You just, you inflate with it. Actually, you blow a lot, maybe I'm the inflatable boat

because you're blowing smoke all the time. I'm talking BS here, man. Blowing smoke, no I'm. Blowing smoke up on my skirt. Full of hot air, you might be, which is still the same thing. Okay keep going. Airbag, man.

We gotta talk about these. Kayak, jet boat, lifeboat, longboat, logboat. I'm skipping one that's gonna be my answer for later. Really, okay, I'm not looking. Motorboat, naval ship, like a big battleship. If you're like, if you're like, if you're combatant, there's a boat called an optimist, which is kinda cheating. If you're like, oh well, I tend to think of myself as a,

if I'm a boat, I'm an optimist. It's like, I ain't a boat. Yeah, no second date. You're short circuiting the exercise. Actually I'm not, optimist is a boat and it's um. It's a dingy. Also known as the bathtub, it's a small single-handed sailing dingy.

Yeah. What else we got? The Optimist is an optimistic way to call yourself a dingy. Oh, P, we've got patrol boat, pirogue or pleasure barge, which is how my wife thinks of me. When her grandma's not looking. Oh gosh, your grandma's always looking.

Pleasure craft, pontoon, power boat. I don't know what a punt is. Oh, I know what a punt is because I'm looking at doing that when I'm in England. It's like a canoe basically what a punt is, what is it type of? Oh, I know what a punt is because I'm looking at doing that when I'm in England. It's like a canoe basically, a rowboat, and then you stand in it with a large stick and propel yourself along a creek. Oh really? You can go punting

in England. So instead of rowing, you're pushing off the bottom. Well, I looked at one picture and that was my interpretation. R, you got a river boat. Oh, you got the big wheel in the back. Steamboat. A Rodney boat, which if your name's Rodney,

that's also kind of short-circuiting the exercise here. Schooner, sea kayak, ships tender, skiff, skipjack, sloop. Come on the sloop, John B. Summarine. I don't consider, is a submarine a boat? How do you say it? A submarine.

Where's the B? It's underwater. I was like, is this a boat that I've never? You ever tried to talk underwater? Submarine. Try to say words with Bs underwater. You won't get far. You mean a submarine?

Yeah, I've heard of that. And when it's on the surface, it's a boat. If you saw a submarine out there floating, would you say, hey, look at that boat? Well, they called the German submarines U-boats, and that was a boat. It is a boat. It floats.

Torpedo boat, trawler, tugboat. Tugboats, I mean that's a. Always helping people in a jam. I feel like I'm that around you a lot. Come on, let's do it. Let's get going man. I don't feel that way. I feel like I might need to be tugged.

What? What are you laughing at? Your grandmother-in-law is watching, man. I'm just saying, like sometimes I'm not motivated at work. Just give me a tug. I know you didn't mean that as an innuendo. I know that you did not. No, he did not mean it.

The only boat term under V is very slender vessel. Yeah, okay, well dang, that's what I picked for myself. The only boat term under V is very slender vessel. Okay, well dang, that's what I picked for myself. What are we doing here? I think we should devote an entire podcast to just reading Wikipedia lists. Yeah, that'd be fun. And riffing on it. And the only one for Z is zilly.

Okay, so what do you wanna do at this point? Do you want to tell me what you think I am? And then I'll tell you what you think you are. And then we'll go into the thing. Okay, go first. Well I'm not gonna be offended by any of this. Well first of all. I have an open heart.

Let me say a couple things. And just in laying the runway for this. I didn't think about this a lot. Oh, okay. No, actually what I learned pretty quickly is that if you imagine a boat type, almost like a horoscope, you can pretty quickly find a way to make it match a person. But I think I've got something that I think is.

Well like a jet ski and a pontoon boat are so different and they pontoon boat are so different and they, and those are. Okay, this is actually remarkable that you said, you said both of those. Okay. It's remarkable that we haven't talked about this at all and you just said those two things.

Here's what I would say. I am pretty remarkable, thank you. I think that someone who doesn't know you well. Okay. And maybe someone who just watches you on the internet might be like, Link's a jet ski, man. A jet ski, yep, okay. But I actually think you're a pontoon boat.

Really? Yeah, that's what you were thinking? It's hilarious that you mentioned that. I was thinking that you were a pontoon boat and here's, let me explain why. Those are like polar opposites. You might be like, Link's a jet ski, you never know, he's nimble, he's quick,

you never know where he's gonna be and boom, he's there, boom, he's there and he's a little flashy. He's always squirting a tiny stream of water directly into the air. Right, exactly. They all do that, right? Yeah. Wave runners and whatnot?

But I think that that's actually, the reason I don't think you're a jet ski is because jet skis change course very quickly. You never know where they're going to be. I bet, yeah. They're constantly changing direction, changing course. You'll change course and then it'll take a right and you won't.

Right. And that is not your personality at all. You're much more grounded than I think most people understand. I'm a soil man. Now let me say a couple things about a pontoon boat that I think apply to you. Pontoon boats, they exist,

they exist so people can have a good time. Oh. Like what is the, I mean, think about it. You got a pontoon boat, it's like no one looks at a pontoon boat and is like, if people look at a pontoon boat and they're like, well, we're gonna have a good time on that boat. Yeah.

Like the purpose of that boat Slowly. Is to get on the boat and have a party. We're gonna slowly have a good time. And I think a lot of people can be accommodated by that. There's a few things also about a pontoon boat. It's actually remarkably stable. However. It's got those two big barrels underneath it.

However, when, and it happens every so often, and you hear it on the news. Yeah? When there is a pontoon boat accident, What? It's bad. Oh gosh. And it doesn't, it isn't like a sailboat

that you knock it down and then it comes back. A pontoon boat goes under and everyone dies. What does that mean about me? I don't know what you're saying. You're saying if something happened to me, a lot of people would die? No, no, I am saying that you are not, you're actually, you're way more flexible

than you were when we were kids. But, and I actually think that at this point in your life, you might actually be more flexible than the average person. Are you about to take credit for that? No, but I do think being married for a long period of time and also being in a close friendship business partnership for a long time makes people flexible. And so, but you like a pontoon boat is typically,

it's on a lake, you know what I'm saying? But you, like a pontoon boat is typically, it's on a lake, you know what I'm saying? It's like I'm on a lake and I am, this is where the fun is at and I am happy to be here and you could potentially, I could turn on the motor and I could get out there into the river and go into the ocean but you're gonna have to, Not really. You're gonna have to convince me

to do that. Not really, but practically speaking, there's a pontoon boat, its home is a territory. It's typically a lake. You know what- Maybe you can take them on a sound or something. You know what makes you- You're not gonna go out into the surf.

And again, this isn't a perfect analogy because I'm also not saying that you're not adventurous. But your general disposition tends to be like, you know what, if I can stay at home this weekend and clean my garage, that's what I'm gonna do. I don't wanna react too much because I have a different answer but there is a lot of overlap.

And so I'd like to come back to the pontoon boat and see how it works with what I think, what my answer for myself is. Okay. I think my answer for you is the answer that you have in your own brain for yourself right now. Okay. I think that you are thinking

and I too am thinking of you as a sailboat. Now I think first of all, just because whenever you are thinking about boats, I think the first thing you're gonna think about is a sailboat. You have this imagined aspirational love affair with the idea of sailing. True.

We've talked about this. Right. You may have even, we may have even established it as a, what you call a layer, and I call a phase, which we have discussed at length in an earlier Ear Biscuit that you can go back and listen to if you want to. If you pass a sailing book, you're gonna pick it up. If you pass a sailing channel on YouTube,

you're gonna watch it. True. So I think that's the first thing you thought and then you're motivated to make that describe you because again, like you said, it can describe anything. Interesting. But then if I'm gonna, I'm like, I actually think this could work because a sailboat

is, you think of like adventurous new thing, you know, I think, and there's like a, you have to put in the work when you're sailing, you just can't lay back and troll around, you can't just crank it up and steer. It is my understanding. There's a sale involved. And a lot of work and like a lot of research.

Like the fact that you would research the Fibonacci sequence and then be angry at yourself that you hadn't done it before now. You felt the need to like state publicly that you're embarrassed by that, is I think this dynamic of you wanna be able to say okay, this, being an accomplished sailor requires something. By the way, I think I'm just making an argument

of why you wanna be a sailor, not what your personality is. Right, it's about the boat, man. Someone who sails needs to put in a lot of work and then the fruits of that labor is that they can experience something new. And I do think that the work that you put into things is always motivated by experiencing something new. experiencing something new.

And I think we, it's well documented that the work that I put into things is to make something better or to make a situation better or to make the situation back in contrast to more secure, more right. Yours is to achieve or experience something new. So sailing is like, what's the next harbor? Right. What's the next adventure? What's around the next peninsula?

And there's also a lot of wood. You like wood. Yeah, I got wood. You like it. Lot of wood. You like wood. Yeah, I got wood. You like it. A lot of wood in a sailboat. So again, I'm making more of an argument that you really like sailboats, but I do think that it could apply

and I think that's what you're gonna build on when you say that your answer is a sailboat. Okay, so do you want to, you wanna respond to what I said about you first? I kinda wanna just go with it. Just say sailboat. Okay. Am I right? You're not, well you're half right.

Here's why you're half right. What's half a sailboat? A boat that is sinking. My first thought was sailboat. Of course, yeah. And then. So I'm right about that. Upon further review, I thought, I want to be a sailboat,

but I actually don't think that I quite am. Let me explain. So what you said about like, you know, and I tend to like embrace a new adventure, travel, and I'm using this as an analogy, like move into something new and unknown and going through unknown, potentially uncharted, dangerous waters to get there, that's my lifeblood.

Like I absolutely love that. And it implies achievement, that's the other part. Yeah, and one that's the other part. Yeah. Which I think drives you. And that is, yeah, we've talked about it, we haven't done the podcast yet, but I am in Enneagram 3, and so I'm a performer, I'm an achiever, and I'm largely driven by accomplishment

to my benefit and to my demise at times. But the one thing that I don't think applies to me with a sailboat is that a sailboat is, I think of myself as pretty resilient, like being able to right myself and that kind of thing and in storms and that kind of thing. But sailboat is very reliant. By definition, it is not self-propelled.

It is, you gotta get, the wind's gotta come along. And I actually think that I'm actually a little bit less resilient than a sailboat and I'm significantly more self-propelled than a sailboat. I actually think I'm a, I'm gonna use the qualifier, cheap yacht. And this is why I say that. So in some ways, like a yacht, like a powerboat

that's made to go long distances. So it embraces adventure, it can get you to the same places that a sailboat can. Not quite as sure of a thing as a sailboat because again, you're under your own power. Not quite as, it doesn't have the same places that a sailboat can. Not quite as sure of a thing as a sailboat because again, you're under your own power. Not quite as, it doesn't have the same ability to ride itself. Yachts tend to be a little bit, depending on,

and I say cheap because you know you've got, you go to like a seaside town and you go to the harbor and you see everybody's got their boats and they got their yachts and there's big yachts, there's little yachts, there's yachts in between and you got like the CEO yacht, which is this really expensive, magnificent yacht that's got like a helicopter pad on it.

I'm not that. I'm like the guy who just got together money and went in debt to get this boat that kinda, it looks like it could belong in a harbor, but it's posing a little bit. Okay. But I think that the self-propelled nature of it is. So you're a self-reliant poser.

Well, just because, you know, and it's funny because it's interesting, you know, as you talk about your kids and I look at my kids and you see qualities from yourself and your kids and qualities from your partner and your kids, Locke is like really just self-motivated, right? Like once he got in his mind that he wanted really just self-motivated, right? Like once he got in his mind that he wanted to play basketball or make good grades or you know,

like he's learning a language in school and then he's learning a language on his own and he's like, well, because learning a language is like so good for your brain. I hear myself when he goes into these explanations but it's almost like it's intensified because Jesse's also very self-motivated so it's almost like it's very intensified in him

and you kind of like reflect back on yourself. And again, I think that, I don't always think this is a good thing. I think that, like you said, I shouldn't feel any shame or embarrassment for not knowing what the Fibonacci numbers are. But I have a dual motivation for knowing them. It's part a genuine interest and a genuine curiosity

because it's like this is a reality that exists in our universe that is this fundamental thing that can be observed in all these different ways and it's like it feels significant and it feels like I'd be missing out if I didn't understand it. But then the other half is, I wanna be able to talk about it.

I wanna be able to tell someone about it so that I will seem smart. I have to fight against that tendency. Kinda like when a cheap yacht pulls up next to like a pontoon. Exactly. Exactly. And just like starts filling his ear full of stuff. Well and that's the constant battle of the Enneagram Three

is like there's a lot of good that can come from that personality but then you can actually get very caught up in your own stuff, you know? And you know, believe your own, what is it? What is the phrase? Smell your own shit or something. What is it? I've never heard that.

I've done it, but I've never heard it. You know what I'm saying. So anyway, I think I'm a cheap yacht. Cheap yacht because you're self-motivated and you still like to go a lot of places. And I suffer from imposter syndrome. I think that's where the cheap yacht comes in is that I do, we do a lot of different things.

We have the privilege of doing a lot of different things. We talked about a little bit like playing at the Ryman. Like there's many times that we get to do things and I suffer from heavy doses of imposter syndrome where I'm like, I shouldn't be here. Like I'm not, like I'm just a dude that can, you know, write a funny song and convince people that I've got some talent. We got way too many balls jokes to be at this.

Right. Yeah, so I think that's where the cheap part comes in. The high church of country music. Yeah. That's what I call it, the high church of country music. That's not what it's actually called. What's it called? The mother church.

The mother church, okay. Who am I to critique that? There's no wrong answers. Right, yeah. That's cool insight. That if we were on our first date, I'd be like, oh, no second date here. Okay, shall I talk about my boat?

The backdrop to my thought process was, Christy and I were talking about one of the contributing factors to the health of our marriage 19 years in. And I was like, you know, I just think for us, the compatibility, like the core compatibility that we had, we, it's like we've changed a lot. And yeah, we've changed a lot and yeah, we've changed together, even though at every turn you don't have to.

Who knows how, you can't control exactly the person you become. We're very fortunate that we've changed in a parallel path. But I think a lot of it has to do with that core compatibility which I kind of boil down to we both really place a high value on comfort and security. And so it motivates us so much that, yeah, you're exactly right when I say,

when I'm given an opportunity of like, you wanna travel anywhere on the globe next weekend, or you wanna just stay at home and re-clean your garage. And that's not an easy decision. You know, it's like, I'm not saying it's automatic, but I'm saying that's a difficult decision for me and Christy, and it's like, that could be a big source of conflict

if somebody never wants to re-clean their garage. We got the same instinct when it comes to those things, and that conversation is kinda coloring my boatage. And so yeah, I definitely thought about a pontoon boat, because I was thinking about a jet ski versus a pontoon boat and so yeah, I definitely thought about a pontoon boat because I was thinking about a jet ski versus a pontoon boat and how like jet skis like all about fun but a pontoon boat is still about, they're still fun, a lot of fun, it's a party boat

but it's very, it's a controlled fun. Like there is a control element to like, I have a vision for how I think things should be. And my motivation is usually pretty pure in like, oh, I wanna have fun, I want people to have fun, I want people to enjoy themselves, experience love, be themselves, that type of stuff. And then I moved on to, wow,

I don't know if I'm a pontoon boat. I think I might be, I place such a value on things being, like my space being nested and like the way that I want it. Like my home is such a haven to me. I'm like, I think I might be a houseboat. Okay. And like I was kinda curious because you know, Jessie has such a vision for how she wants your house

to look and I feel like it's much, that's weighted much more towards her. And it is for me and Christy too, like she's very talented at decorating and does our house and stuff and all that stuff. But I'm very much involved in like, in everything because I want it to be how I want it to be from a practical standpoint.

Like I take so much joy in knowing that everything's where I want it to be, in the garage, or that our backyard works in this way, or I wanna be able to sit here and see this while doing this and listening to this music and put a lot of work into that into my house. So that's when I started to think, yeah, it could be a houseboat, but I think I'm a yacht.

And I actually, I settled on, in the brief amount of time that I thought about this, I actually settled on, and I ain't even talking about like a two-bit yacht. We both have said yachts for ourselves. My answer is freaking yacht. And I went all the way to like helicopter pad and everything because I place an overemphasis on my environment

being exactly how I want it to be and as luxurious as it can be. Like I want my life to be engineered, not for my pleasure alone, but for my comfort and security, you know? So that's when I thought about a yacht, I guess maybe, but maybe it's a pontoon yacht. I do like to go places and like to experience adventure,

but it has to be much more on my terms than I think yours would be. I didn't think about like being, am I self-motivated? That didn't enter into my equation or anything. I can see that. Comfort and security. Like I want a yacht with a chef. Well maybe you're like a yacht.

Security detail. You're a yacht on like the Great Lakes. You know what I'm saying? The Great Lakes can be, I mean you can't see the other side. Are there yachts on the Great Lakes? Heck yeah. Have you seen how big they are? Look at a map, man.

They're massive. Yeah, I've never looked at the Great Lakes. You could get caught in a squall on the Great Lakes too. Chicago, I've seen the Great Lake at Chicago. Yeah, I don't, yeah. Open the door and it just blasts. And also, a yacht is a pretty broad, incidentally, a very broad term.

I mean like, I don't know what the technical definition of it is, but it does, it is one of the more flexible terms for boats. So it doesn't surprise me that for different reasons we ended up there. I mean I think that... Yeah, I could probably just go back to settling on houseboat, because I think that does,

I've never been on a houseboat, but I imagine that. I spent an evening on one. Really? To a weekend. Well I imagine them being, if you're gonna live there, they better be how you want them to be, you know? Yeah. As opposed to, I can endure this for,

until we get to like, if we get through the squall, and I can get back to the mainland. Well you know, it's interesting, and this is another show I wanna do. I was talking to you about this. Because you talk about making these decisions and getting things the way that you want. Yeah. And the way that I relate

to that because we're also, we're basically redoing our homes in similar amounts of change. Like, you guys have done more already, but like I'm redoing my whole backyard this summer and we've redone, like there's a bathroom inside. You guys just finished a bathroom. There's renovations, we redid our kitchen,

that kind of thing. And my involvement is very much like aesthetically, I don't like, I care but I also know that if Jessie narrows it down to five different options for Tyle. They're all gonna be awesome. They're all gonna be great. So if like she's showing them to me,

they've already gotten through so many levels of discretion that I'm just like, just make the decision. Like I'm not particular, just make the decision. Like, I'm not particular. I want it to be cool and I want it to look good, but I know that it will be if you do it and so I'm not particular so I'm not gonna make, I do, what I do is I say, I care about like, a few practical things, not to the level of detail,

anywhere close to the level of detail that you do, but I like, okay, where's the grill gonna go? It's like, okay, I'm gonna go out there, this is important, I'm gonna use this thing, I'm gonna be the man at the grill, I wanna think about what kind of grill it's gonna be, and I'll get really excited about the specific type of grill and where it is, but then,

it's not gonna go much deeper than that and I think about, oh what I wanted to say is the episode that I wanted to do was is we're both in the market to get a new vehicle. You can get a boat that drives on land I think. And I'm fascinated with the differences in the way that we make that decision. Oh. So you're talking about surrounding yourself

with luxury and getting things the way you want, but the decision to get a new car has been one that has, I mean, I'm not gonna get into it because I think there's a whole episode there. We can save that. But it's interesting because. So we gonna have a boat episode and a car episode? Well, but at least.

The transportation series, your biscuits. The boat episode is not like what kind of boat am I gonna buy? Because that's like next level douche. Yeah, okay. But if it's just like what kind of car am I gonna buy? What kind of private plane am I going to? We could get into some douchiness in that conversation.

But I just, I think it's, again, it's very revealing about the nature of our personalities and the way that we make decisions about those kinds of things. But the way that we both ended up kind of landing on yacht. That's funny. I think that means that we can, we should go in on a yacht.

Huh. With, I guess with like 100 other people. How many people is it, I mean yachts. A yacht share? Yeah, can you do that? I think that's, I'm much more interested in like getting a yacht than I am about more introspection at this point.

So let's continue our own conversation that way but I'll open it up, hashtag Ear Biscuits. Let us know what boat you think you are. And if you're on a first date and you're listening to this, don't listen to us during the first date. I mean. Yeah, that would be weird.

But I do recommend that you recommend us to anyone you're dating. But if somebody. And listen separately so we get twice the listens. If somebody asks you to listen to a podcast on the first date, that is a red flag. Even if it's this one. Yeah, but let's make an exception for ours.

Maybe a portion of a podcast. Any other podcast. But a podcast is like typically like an hour of just listening to other people talk. How's that different than going to a movie? All right, let's save that too. How's that different than going to a movie? All right, let's save that too. Let's say we got another whole episode about first dates.

You shouldn't go to a movie on the first date. That's a red flag. There you go. What are you gonna learn about somebody sitting next to him looking at a screen? Nothing. Well, if you watch them. I mean, if you watch a movie and you talk about it,

but I don't know, man. Yeah, that's a hot take. That's harsh take. Hashtag Ear Biscuits, let us know what kind of boat you are and why or what kind of boat someone you're dating said they were and why. Let's make a recommendation, is it my turn? Yep.

I gotta go back to music because here's the thing. Nothing is more exhilarating than, well it probably is, I gotta backtrack already. I love the exhilaration associated with discovering an artist and then realizing they got a whole backlog of material. So it's not like the horses in the back guy. You look at him on Spotify, that's the only song he's got. Well he's got the remix with Billy Ray Cyrus.

Yeah, pretty limited. I'm not recommending that. I'm not panning it either though. But when you look on Spotify, you find something somewhere and then you're like, whoa, there's albums, like I could deep dive. Let's do it. And then when you like the song

and then you click over to the Wiki because you like knowing a little bit about the backstory and you realize that this artist, it described as a virtuoso violinist who then is also well known as a whistler. What? He's a virtuoso violinist and a virtuosistic. What? He's a virtuoso violinist and a virtuosistic,

virtuosistic? Mm-hmm. Yeah, whistler. At the same time? Could be, yeah, he can sing and play the violin at the same time and he's got a number of instrumental albums. How did you find them?

One is called Canyon and one is called River and I think at least with the Canyon one, maybe with both, he would take his violin and he would play in that location. What's his name? In Utah. I ain't telling you yet, man, I'm building it up. See, you want it so bad.

But you can't get it yet. I wouldn't tell you I want it that bad. And he takes his violin and he does these looping and layering parts and it's amazing. But that's just instrumental stuff. And then his brand new album that just came out, I'm like, this sounds like the guy who Father John Misty has been impersonating.

I mean he's got that sound. So I'm just joking, I'm sorry Father John, I'd like to be your friend, I'm not saying you impersonate. So he sings as well? He sings. Oh it's not all whistling, because that would get old. Right, so he is a lyricist and a vocalist

and a touring musician. And his name is Andrew Bird. Dude is awesome. Andrew Bird. Yeah, shout out to Andrew Bird. Check out his song Sisyphus. He's got a whistling part in that. And it's one thing to hear the whistle,

but then it's another thing to watch him on his Instagram perform it live and he just effortlesslylessly goes into this immaculate whistle. I give a lot to whistle, well I can't whistle, man. You can't whistle at all. You can make yourself an instrument at any time. I can hit like two notes. Too hairy. I can whistle like two notes. Too hairy. I can whistle like this too.

It's as high as I can get. That's a tongue whistle. And I can go. That sucks, man. I'm like a tea kettle. You know what I'm saying? I got one, I got a limited range. Now I can't, you took away my whistle.

Yep. I can't do the fingers in the mouth whistle. That's a big dad play. Yeah. We gotta work on that. So there it is, Andrew Bird, check him out, shouts out to the man with the whistle, with the golden whistle.

Okay. All right, let's start searching up some yachts, man. Let's see how much it, maybe we should just, I mean, let's just rent a yacht. Maybe we should just go on a pontoon boat first. Like Chase said he went to a wedding this past weekend on a yacht. Well, you remember I wanted to have my birthday party

on a yacht and have the yacht rock band and then I looked into the price. Yeah, and that's an indication you will not be purchasing a yacht.