Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 194: How Do We Deal With A Medical Crisis? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 194

Episode Date: May 20, 2019

Restless nights in the hospital, pints upon pints of blood, and a wake-up call on the importance of love, family, and nurses. Link recounts his mom's husband's (not step-dad's) near brush with death when he visited LA recently in this episode of Ear Biscuits. Warning: There will be mention of blood and certain medical procedures that may trigger the queasy. Sponsored by: Stamps.com: Go to Stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in EAR to get a special offer that includes a 4-week trial PLUS free postage AND a digital scale without any long-term commitment. Quip: Quip starts at just $25 and if you go to GET QUIP.com/EAR right now, you can get your first refill pack for FREE.Stitch Fix: Get started NOW at StitchFix.com/EAR and get an extra 25% off when you keep all 5 items in your box!  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance.

Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are exploring the question,

how do we deal with a medical crisis? And let me just say, first of all, we're both fine. Neither one of us are personally in a medical crisis. Right. But this is something that happened to Link. Over the past week, not personally, but personally. I have been dealing with a family medical crisis which I'd love to just be able to verbally process through

with you, gentle listener, as well as you, gentle friend. And I don't wanna, I'm not trying to spoil anything here. Yeah but we should. This person that you're gonna be talking about is fine now. Yes. So, because we're gonna be having fun. This is gonna be also lighthearted.

Yeah. We're gonna talk about some serious things that happened, but we're also gonna be having a good time joking because in the end, everything is okay. Well, this is what happened and you know, I'll walk through the details and unpack it. Well first we gotta let people know. Oh.

We're gonna keep telling you. Oh about our dates, yes. Educating you about where we're going to be. We are coming to a town near you if you happen to be in Las Vegas. We're gonna be there on June 21st, Salt Lake City June 22nd, Denver the 23rd, Milwaukee the 25th, Indianapolis the 26th, Detroit the 27th,

Omaha the 29th, and Minneapolis on the 30th. Again, this is Rhett and Link Live in concert, not the Tour of Mythicality, and debuting, well, if you've seen them all, there's some new songs that have never been heard before on the internet and then of course the old classics, the rap battles, there's potential dress up that happens. Dress up, that is a good way to put it.

Anyway, it's a. We play dress up. You buy a ticket, we play dress up. And there's also VIP tickets available. Of course you're all very important people, that's just the industry vernacular to describe someone who pays for a ticket where we get to have a little meet and greet.

So all that and more at Rhettandlinklive.com. Come see us, rhettandlinklive.com. So in some ways, I am still very much processing what happened over the past week. I am still very much processing what happened over the past week. It involves my mom's husband, Lewis, who I've talked about many times. He's technically my stepdad because he's my mom's husband,

but he's not my dad. He's your stepdad. That's what I just said. But I've never actually ended up calling him my stepdad. I'll end up just said, but I've never actually ended up calling him my stepdad. I'll end up saying something like he's my father-in-law. Which is incorrect. If I'm pressed. But because. And strange.

He married my mom. I mean, they were dating when I was in high school and I've known him for a long time and I love him. But he didn't raise you. I do love him. But he didn't raise you. I do love him but he didn't raise me and I never lived with him. So when, you know, I got married and then Christy was pregnant with Lily

and that's when my mom and Louis got married. So we've got, there's an interesting dynamic to the nature of our relationship that I love him but he's not, he is my stepdad, but I don't call him that because in experience, it just doesn't feel like what a stepdad feels like. And actually, I think that my mom's husband is the correct.

Well, that's true too. No, but I'm saying. But father-in-law is not correct. If I meet a person, if I'm just at a party and I'm having a conversation with somebody and they begin telling me a story and they say my mom's husband, I immediately know, oh not your stepdad, your stepdad is somebody

who you usually would say raised you, right? But father-in-law, you gotta stop saying that. But father-in-law. Because what's gonna happen is you're gonna be seen with him in public at some point and they're gonna be like, oh that's your father-in-law? No, this is my father-in-law. Then you're one of those guys that has two families,

one being secret. And you can you're one of those guys that has two families, one being secret. And you can't be one of those guys. Well, I mean, I do have a secret family, but I have nothing to do with this. I will say that Shepard asked me, there was something in the car, and when he got into the car the other day, and he was like, where's this from?

I said, oh, that's from, that's one of the kids in my secret family left it in here. I just couldn't help myself. Is it, hopefully he meant imaginary family. I said, you know, like a lot of people have a second family. So don't joke about, oh I thought you said this was Shepard, you said Locke.

It was Shepard. Oh you just said Locke. You meant Shepard. Okay, I meant Shepard the whole time. You said lock. It was shepherd. Oh, you just said lock. You meant shepherd. Okay, I meant shepherd the whole time. Anyway, I joke like that with my children. They know that it's a joke, so get off my case. But was he joking when he told you is the question? He didn't tell me.

He said, where is this from? And I said, it's from. Oh, you said that. I messed up. I think everyone else understood. I don't know if I said it in a confusing way, but I'm sorry if I did. So confused.

So anyway, Louis, my father-in-law, that does come into the story later, by the way. He's doing well now, but he had, I don't wanna over sensationalize it, but. Well then just sensationalize it. I'll just say, but I do think it was a brush with mortality, a brush with death. It took some time for that to sink in.

And so I'll unpack that. Like I said, some of this I'm still processing, but he gave me permission to talk about it here and take it for what it's worth. My mom and Louis, they came out here last year and then we visited for Thanksgiving and then that's the last time we've seen them in person so they kind of wanted to come out again.

But they've got a house, they got farmland, he drives around his farmland on his gator and he surveys his land and he sees turkeys and he keeps an eye on how many turkeys that come around. And for those of you who don't understand what a gator is, it doesn't mean he's on an alligator. He's on like a John Deere crazy off-road golf cart kind of thing.

I kind of wanted the mystique to be that maybe he's just saddled an alligator, but fine. Well, if you want to believe that, yeah, go ahead. Clear up the mystique. He's got cows. Mom named some of them and then he takes care of them. They have babies. He makes sure that everything's good to go.

You know, he's got, basically he has a farm to run. So it's hard to get away and they're not the traveling type. So we planned this a long time in advance and I think mom came down with something they had to reschedule one time. Something came up, I can't remember. But then, weekend before last, they were coming out and they were gonna show up Friday night

and then they were gonna, they like to stay in a hotel, not at our house, so we make them feel comfortable whatever way they want and then they were gonna fly back Monday. They were. It's a quick trip. They were only staying two days. Those cows.

They gotta get back to their cows. Somebody's gotta look after them. And we were very much looking forward to making the most of those two days. So we pick them up at the airport, the whole family's in the car and like, we're crammed into there and we pick him up at the airport, the whole family's in the car and we're crammed into there and we pick him up at the curb

and I can immediately tell that Louis is road ragged. He doesn't look great. And I'm like, man, the flight must not have been great. They get in the car, put the luggage in and we're driving them. It was late, especially by their time. So we were trying to,

we just went straight to their hotel. Did you say anything at that point? Did you say like, you look awful, which is, you shouldn't say that to someone right when they get off of a plane? I've made that mistake. Did not look good, but I was like, well how was the flight?

And they said it was okay. A lot of turbulence? Louis didn't have much appetite. They didn't say much about turbulence or anything like that. But they were, I mean, he was very quiet. And you may have heard me talk about this before, but the thing we love to talk about Lewis is that he's got this catchphrase.

Good, good, good. Like if he's talking to the kids, you know, the whole week leading up to them coming, I'm talking to all the kids and I'm like, I'm talking like Lewis, I'm like doing my impersonation of him, I'm like Lincoln, you been doing your pushups? How's basketball? And I'm like Lincoln, you're not playing basketball anymore

so you gotta be ready for your answer because you know Papa's gonna ask you about basketball and your pushups. You might need to just make up that you're still playing with basketball. You're not been doing either. So he had his answer prepared and I was like, you can just tell him that you're mountain biking

with your dad and you're still staying active and then he'll just say good, good, good. Giving your kids answers. Just trying to coach them. Just let them come up with their own answers, man. But we were looking forward to that catchphrase and I couldn't help but notice he was quiet and there was no good, good, goods happening

on the ride to the hotel. But he wasn't saying bad, bad, bad. He was not saying it. It doesn't go that far. No, and I took a wrong turn and me and Christy kinda snapped at each other a little bit. What about the GPS? I was like, well, you know how when sometimes

your phone's hooked up to the cords and then, the map's not showing up on the car play and I'm having a drive but I can't see the turn and now I'm going the wrong play and I'm having to drive but I can't see the turn and now I'm going the wrong way and I'm getting angry and I gotta direct that anger at somebody even though my mom is in the car and I haven't seen her in person since Thanksgiving. I'm not gonna direct it towards my mom or Louis.

So Christy got a little bit of that. She gave it right back. Good. Good, good, good. Good, good, good. I deserved it. And then so I thought that the silence might have been as a result of me being an ass.

Right, okay. We get to the hotel, we check them in, they're tired. We let them go to sleep. I was like, we'll come pick you up as early as you want in the morning. You're on East Coast time. Well, mom never called so we finally called about mid morning and she's like,

"'Lewis is not doing well. He's feeling faint and he's passing blood when he uses the bathroom." And I'm like, well, not good, good, good. So we come, we pick him up and we're like, we go straight to the emergency room. Now explain that decision to me because- Well when you're passing blood,

Well no, no, but I'm just telling you, I'm telling you like I am the kind of person that always minimizes. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm that way too. This is Christy driving this train. Right, so Christy, she's good in those situations. She has a natural nursing instinct.

I've never nursed her, just so you understand. Great. But she has that, she's good in medical situations. She kinda, there's a certain mode, you have to go into that mode. She goes into like this ready contingency mode. Then when we were going to sleep the night before, she was like, now the nearest hospital

where they're staying in Pasadena is like the Huntington Hospital. Well, for those of you who understand the Enneagram, a six is really well equipped at these sort of contingency plans. So she was like, I think Lewis wasn't doing good and we may have to take him to the emergency room. She already said that the night before. Right.

That's why she was calling mom. They checked him in and he was, I actually don't think he passed more blood when he was there and then it takes a while to process and they said, we're gonna admit you because something's going on here, there's internal bleeding or there's evidence of that. Right.

And your blood count is low. They check him in to the ICU, intensive care unit. And so they're monitoring him very closely. And one of the nurses said to mom, your husband is very sick. I was like, well, what does that mean? We don't know yet. The gastro doctor comes in and they did a scope

from down his throat. They like put him under for a little bit. We stepped out of the room and they, less than a half hour, they did this procedure where they put the scope down his esophagus through his stomach, looking at everything into his small intestine and then we come back in there and he's already awake again.

But the news is Louis has over 10 ulcers in his small intestine. Good gracious, this does not sound good. Not the stomach, the small intestine. Yeah, the duodenum, duodenum, I don't know how you say it. Yeah, you know if you take that out, you can stretch it around the Earth nine times. Just Louis's, you know how long his is?

Yeah, yeah, just an individual's. Oh, okay, that can't be true. But it can't, it also. That's how quickly light travels, the speed of light, I think, around the Earth, nine times in a second, I don't know. I'm confusing facts. The doctor gave us the good news that

even though there's so many, he's, I don't know if this is a Southern saying because the doctor didn't say it. He was from LA, but what I would say is he's eat up with ulcers, he's eat up with them. But he said there was one in particular that looked bigger and it had a scab that had formed over it, just like skin on the outside of your body.

This is tough to listen to. I'm sorry, I'm surprised I'm able to talk about it. We can get into that more later. But he said that just like skin on the outside of your body, on the inside of your intestine, it forms a scab with which then it heals. And he said, I agitated the scab, you know, it's amazing. You put the scope down there with a camera

and take pictures, you see the live video, and you can blast water and also medication through this scope. And they can control it like with a, like a kind of thing, like once it gets down there? It was actually very easy to control. You can manipulate it. He said, you wanna try it?

And then it was like two joysticks. No, I didn't see the thing, man. We went out, so I don't know how many joysticks there were. I'm just assuming that to be that precise, like it has some sort of mechanical head on it. At the moment, I was not asking about the mechanical head. Again, that's what I do in these situations because I don't wanna talk about the real.

You deflect. I wanna talk, let's talk about the mechanics and the machinery that's inside of him right now. How about that? But he said he sprayed it with a little water and then all evidence pointed to the fact that it was gonna stay, which is great news. And it also meant that if they monitored him

and there was no more bleeding, that meant that there wasn't any other source of bleeding lower down and like the rest of his GI tract. Because to do a colonoscopy, to go from the top up, you'd have to- The bottom up. Yeah, from the bottom up, you'd have to wait to like totally clean out the entire system. And, from the bottom up. You'd have to wait to like totally clean out the entire system.

And that was just more time that, but anyway, at that point we were in a holding pattern and because it's the ICU. Because that equipment is very expensive, you don't want shit all over it. Yes, Rhett, that's exactly what it is. I'm trying not to be that graphic. In the ICU, they make everyone leave

while they have shift change. So just so happens that we had made reservations for this Japanese steakhouse before we knew any of this was gonna happen. Yeah, take a break, go eat some Japanese. So we're gonna, you make me feel horrible about it, but Christy was like, I'm gonna stay around. We have reservations, Link.

Granny, why don't you go and see the kids Christy was like, I'm gonna stay around. We have reservations, Link. Granny, why don't you go and see the kids and just take a break because we're not allowed to be in here anyway. Yeah. And it's very close. And was it one when they throw the shrimp in the hat? Yeah, they throw the shrimp in the hat. The fire volcano made of onions?

I thought that would be nice. Oh yeah, it's always nice. So Christy stayed back, so she was like very much in proximity even though she wasn't allowed to be in there. And then I took Mom, because we had good news and we were in a holding pattern. Oh so you went to the Japanese steak house. I went too, yeah me and Mom met Britton and the kids

that we met at the Japanese steak house. Did you get a combo of chicken, shrimp, and beef? Yes, you're deflecting now. No, I really am interested in what people order at that. I always get the combo. And I'm, you know, we're all on edge, but it was nice for her to see the kids, because otherwise she wasn't able to see them.

And I go up to use the restroom right before he starts flipping shrimp, and as I'm walking to the restroom, I look up, and dadgum if it isn't the scope doctor. The freaking scope doctor, the gastro guy, was at the Japanese restaurant. I heard you guys talking about this but I didn't understand that this was the story.

Yeah, he was one of those hibachi guys, he worked there. Yeah, well you know what, doctors these days don't make enough money. Right. You gotta have a backup. He was there with his family at another table and I went up, I was like, I found myself upon him by surprise on my way to the bathroom.

So I'm in his face and I'm like, I recognize him and I'm like, hey doc, you were just treating my father-in-law. Right, yeah. And again, I just said, I just came out with father-in-law and it worked. Yeah, because he doesn't know. And he understands that it's not, you know,

I don't know what he understood, but it was easy. Right, he just got the chicken though because he's a doctor. It was weird because it was like one of those moments where remembering like, well, I remember in middle school when I went to Walmart one time when I was in third grade and I saw Miss Hobbs, my third grade teacher, in the Chips aisle at Walmart.

They can be outside of school as well? And she started talking to me and I felt really weird and I got embarrassed and I was like, I don't know how to talk. Did I get a grade on this conversation? Yeah, I felt like a third grader in the hibachi restaurant talking to my teacher. Right. It was weird.

But he was very nice and he came over and he talked to mom and she was very appreciative because we had good news at that point. And he was like, you wanna see some pictures of the ulcers? He had already shown us those. But out at the restaurant. Yeah, but not right there. And then I was like, we brought the kids back

and we took them up to see Louis when they allowed us to go back in the ICU and the nurse had a funny look on her face and I looked around into the room and like Louis did not look good at all, he looked worse. And then the kids like said hello and then it was kinda like, "'Christy, why don't you just take the kids back home? "'I'll stay here with mom and then it was kinda like, Christy,

why don't you just take the kids back home, I'll stay here with mom and then I'll Uber back later. Because the plan was we were all leaving and mom was just gonna stay. But it took a while for it to really sink in. But I mean what had happened was he had started passing blood. Again.

Again. Again. And this sounds like a great place for a teaser. A lot of people know, oh, things got worse. Things get worse before they get better, but they do. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply.

What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is... Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect.

It's a weekly news show. With the best celebrity guests. And hot takes galore. So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. The hindsight of the experience, it just seems much more clear than when it's, when things are progressing in the hospital, it, you know, the nurses and doctors are reacting to things and it's not that they're not communicating, but it's the combination of them doing their jobs,

trying to communicate, but also the ability for that to sink in, to be able to receive the information. Every, you know, the doctor would just drop in occasionally and it's go time to like have your questions. Could you imagine just. And that's difficult. Could you imagine being the person? Like neither one of us would be good at that.

We might be good at executing. You mean the patient? No, the nurse. Oh gosh. Like having to do something but then also explain to someone in a sympathetic tone what's actually happening, forget about it. One of my big takeaways from this thing is I have

just a blossomed appreciation specifically for nurses in a hospital environment. specifically for nurses in a hospital environment. They are amazing people who do an amazingly difficult job and that's a big part of it, interacting not only with the patient but with the loved ones who are there present. And for me, it's like I'm bringing my kids. One of my kids is too young to actually be there

and I'm breaking the rules for him to come up. So, you know, and then- Really, what's the age limit? 14 in the ICU. And they let you do that? Well, yeah, a 14 year old, but not a nine year old. No, but you were able to get land on it. Well, I just kind of went up with him.

Because I was like, Lewis is fine and his spirits will be lifted by seeing you for a minute. That was not smart, I should have respect that rule. The nurse actually told me he could see things in the ICU that a nine year old may not want to see. Will be etched on his brain forever. I was like, wow, I'm an idiot and you really made a good point.

I'm gonna take my kids out of here now. You know, it's just like my head space was so, this is gonna be over at any moment. This is gonna be okay. We already got good news. Yes, he has ulcers. Yes, he's gotta figure that stuff out and there's gonna be more treatment to come

when he gets back home. But he's in the clear. When we got back, I mean, Christy took the kids away and they had already been giving him blood because he had lost blood the night before. I think by this point, they were giving him like six, seven, eight pints of blood. Whoa, whoa, whoa, already?

I'm telling you. I mean, I was there, this is like 10 o'clock at night, 11 o'clock at night, midnight, and then. Because you don't have that much. I told you about this recently. Yeah, for the book, we had to, oh, you don't want to say that? Well, no, we had to, okay.

Say it. I had to look up for a part of the book we were working on how much blood is in a human body. Yeah, and what's the answer? I think the average adult just has like two gallons of blood. How many pints is that? I don't know.

Three pints in a gallon? Hopefully more than that. I thought there was only four pints in a gallon. All I'm saying is. Kiko will look it up, because we're stupid. There's a lot less blood in a human body, and so, giving him that much blood, like he didn't have hardly any.

Well, and then, the thing is, he was confined to the bed. What is it, Kiko? Eight pints to a gallon. Eight pints to a gallon. Eight pints, and then how many, you said there were how many gallons in a body? Like two gallons of blood in a body. So 16 pints.

Look that up too, I wanna make sure. How many pints of blood in an average body? Because I will say by the end of this, they gave him 12 pints of blood. How many? 12. 12 pints, so that's, wow, so about a gallon and a half of blood in an average person.

But I'm telling you right now, they gave him enough blood that fills up a human body. Yeah, that's crazy, that's what so surprised me, because, yes, and the more it, and again, it's like they kept giving him, when they were giving him two, three, four, five, concerns start to raise, my man. And they said, okay, we're going to have to,

we're gonna have to give him a central line. We can't use the IVs to keep up with him passing the blood. And it was a very visceral experience, which he doesn't remember any of even though he was conscious, he was talking, but he wasn't very lucid. Yeah. As you can imagine. Right.

And in that situation, you can't move him out of the bed and he's passing blood. I mean, it's a visceral and horrible situation to be bedside for that. Okay, and this is coming from the guy who, you can't take any amount of blood and the thought of needles, and they're sitting there filling your father-in-law.

Yeah, just filling him up with, I mean how? He's like a fountain, it's just passing through him. Did you go into a mental space, like a un-before-tapped, never-before-tapped mental space in order to get through this without fainting? Whenever they would, earlier on, whenever he started passing blood and they would clean him up, I would step out.

I mean, but I felt like that was just like to give them privacy and for them to do their job. So you were in a mode. I guess I was in a zone of like, it was kind of a, it was just, it was a bit of a fog. It was like not realizing how dire things are getting, but then when they said we need to give him a central line

in his neck so that we can pump blood in and keep up with how quickly he's losing blood and we're getting the doctor back in here to do another scope in order to see where the new bleeding is coming from. Well it just goes to show you not only how important blood is. There are these places, there are so many places on Earth

that don't even have adequate amounts of clean blood. Yeah, yeah. I mean it's a privilege just to be in a place that you can lose that much blood and immediately have it replenished. I don't know what the PSA is here but give blood. I thought about that too, yeah. Yeah.

And also be willing to take blood. I know there's some people. There was never a conversation about that. Well I know but there, yeah. If you. There are people who. If you currently subscribe to a worldview that doesn't allow you to take blood, reevaluate that worldview.

Well he would have died. That's my second PSA. He would have died within a few hours of being at the hospital. He wouldn't have gotten anywhere close to this if he couldn't take blood. They couldn't find a central line in his neck that worked and they had to do a central line in his groin.

And then, basically his hip. And then they're pumping him full of blood in order to just gain time and it was at that point that I realized that like, oh my gosh, this is very dire. I mean, this is touch and go. How's your mom handling this at the time? She was in more, I wouldn't call it she was in a fog, she was in more of a supportive, she was very positive.

And I mean, she was going to work in terms of just being positive and in support mode. It was amazing. She comes from a medical background, being in a clinical place. She took blood for a living and she's used to being around blood and medical environs. So she wasn't shaken up by that but she said later

that it dawned on her the next morning how dire things were there. I just think that she was in a mode where she wasn't allowing herself to go to the dark potentials, okay? The dark potentials. The dark potentials. That's the name of our second novel. But the doctor finally showed up

and they got ahead of it, the bleeding a little bit, but he was, I mean, it was scary because there was blood all over the bed and they would just, they couldn't keep up with it so they would put a blanket down over him and he was disoriented so at times he would look down and he would look down and he would move the blanket and he would see all the blood or he wouldn't see it and his hand would go down there

to feel what's going on. This is tough for me to listen to, I'm sorry. I guess the reason why I share it is because The reason why I share it is because I think, I can never imagine that I would be bedside for a situation like that and I'm with my mom and it was, I'm glad that we were able to be supportive but it was very scary and I never would have thought that I would have been able to be,

to contribute to a supportive environment when it was that scary. Well, which is, okay. So I'm not, I'm surprised, I'm not bragging, I'm just saying that like these things happen and maybe you go into mode but if you don't, it's, I feel more prepared having gone through it to be more supportive.

Well, I do think that, I will say that the human brain is really complex and I think that what ends up happening a lot of times is you know that you can't afford to check out. I think there are certain situations where you can afford to check out, like when you cut yourself at Christmas. It's like, it's not that big of a deal to just.

And faint into your real father-in-law's arms. Right. I did. You know, so, but my question is, did you, why were you the one that was there? It was just circumstances because of the way that you brought the kids in and then, you didn't know how bad it was gonna get, because if you think about how bad it was going to get and Christy and you both knew

how bad it was going to get and you had to make a decision who was gonna stay, you probably would have picked Christy to stay and you would have gone home with the kids. No, I. Or was it because it was your relations? Yeah, it was because, I mean, mom, well, I'll back into that, because I do think it's interesting

because I feel so much and I've felt so much for Louis and mom because they don't travel and then they find themselves going through this situation so far from home with no support structure beyond me and Christy. It's like they know no one else except they might have met people in passing through us but there's no one, like back home, Louis has an extended family

that they're very tight knit. So his real name is Ed, I think Louis is his middle name, Ed with two Ds and in the hospital they kept asking him, what's your name? And then in order to give medication or do treatment, they had or just know if he was Lucid, they would ask him his name and they were expecting him to say Ed and he would say Lewis.

So they would think it was worse than it was but his brother Ed, he's got a brother, Ned, Ted and Fred. Yeah, it's unbelievable. You know and you better believe they all would have been there as well as, you know, his children and everybody else who loves him and obviously would have been there to support him. Ned, Ted, Fred and Ed.

And Peggy. Yeah, there's not a good typical woman name. They call her Ped. No, they don't. There may be other siblings, I can't remember. But anyway, because they're out here, like it's just me and Christy with mom, we find ourselves in this weird situation

where we're the only support that they've got. So when we had to send the kids, I was like, well, mom's gonna stay there for Louis and I'm gonna stay there for mom. I'm gonna support mom and mom's gonna support Louis. And then, honestly, that's the first way that I thought about it. I think that changed over that night and the next few days.

We can talk about that some more. But at this point, yeah, we did actively make that decision for me to be there with mom. And so by 1 a.m., the doctor's showing back up and doing the scope and finding that that problem ulcer was basically, at this point, obviously gushing blood. Ugh, you, God. And then you use that same scope.

We gotta put a trigger warning on this episode. Maybe my, I think maybe I'm able to talk about this in a way that maybe I feel differently about blood now. Well but you're also the one saying it, so it's not happening unexpectedly. And he's able to use that scope in his hibachi hands. Right, still got chicken grease on him. And he sprayed some like epinephrine.

You think he puts the redneck sauce on his chicken? He puts the redneck sauce on that ulcer and it just sutures right up. The creamy sauce that you can get at the hibachi place, we always call redneck sauce because only, you go over to Japan, they don't have that sauce, okay? That's something rednecks came up with. It's good. Now it's good.

I took the whole bowl that night and I just poured it all over my plate. I was like. I'm a redneck. Yeah, I can feel my mullet growing. So he. Epinephrine. He put some epinephrine on it

and it basically sutured it up. It's a vasoconstrictor. And then. Who knew? And he showed us, well he did, and he showed usured it up. It's a vasoconstrictor. And then. Who knew? And he showed us, well he did, and he showed us pictures of it. And I'm thinking, man, I saw you at the freakin' hibachi at like seven o'clock.

Yeah, you can't be here. And now it's 1 a.m. and you're here. Right. And I'm in third grade. It's so weird. That was excellent news, but as we were waiting for him to do the scope, mom and I had to step out and just wait and it was like,

we were sitting in the waiting room, just the two of us, no one else was in there and we were, we didn't say a word. It was, we were so exhausted. It's like somebody who's been through a battle together. Yeah. You just sit there. You just sit there and it was very surreal. And she told me that it really hadn't sunken in

at that point how dire things were. She was in that mode and kind of in fight mode and stay positive mode. And so at that point, it was very touching. The great news was they had stopped the bleeding. They found the bleeding, they had stopped the bleeding, they didn't have to do a second procedure

which could have damaged the kidneys in order to try to find the bleeding or a third procedure, worst case, where they had to do surgery. The surgeons were coming in and prepping them for that too in case they had to. It was that, everybody was buzzing around and it was, yeah, it was very kinetic

and it was real, man. And by that morning, he had stabilized and of course he wasn't given any drink or food for probably the next 48 hours as it turns out but they were monitoring. They were hydrating him intravenously. Yeah. Or else he would die.

And giving him medicine for the ulcers and giving him medicine to help the, you know, to preserve them from bleeding and giving them more blood. Can't get enough of that. To come out to a total of 14 units, 14 pints. So again, he replaced his blood supply. Yeah. He completely replaced his blood supply.

It's wild. And so then. Everybody needs that. It's just like changing your transmission fluid every once in a while. I mean that's literally what happened. But it was, they didn't drain him out and then fill him up, it was a constant flow, it was more of.

Yeah. You can't do that with a human. It was a nightmare. You can do that with a car. It was an absolute nightmare. And then, so then for the next two days, it's kinda touch and go to make sure that he's not bleeding and even though he's not eating,

then as you slowly introduce drinking and then eating foods, like clear foods and all that jazz, it's just continuing to monitor that he's not bleeding. And let's see, so we checked him in Saturday morning. We checked him out by the end of the week. So he was there a whole week. So then it was, it basically shifted from emergency situation, he left the ICU to a regular hospital room,

which then you and Jesse came that first night and visited him there, which is great. But then it was just, that's when it really started to hit us that there's only three people to support him in his recovery as he's here. And that, I mean, that proved to be very challenging because my mom stayed there all night and then I would, as soon as I could get up in the morning,

I would go and relieve her. Like either Christy would come get her or I'd send her home to my house in an Uber to take a shower and try to sleep for a few hours. And then I would, Christy and mom would come and then I would go into work for a few hours and then, so someone was always there with him for the whole week.

And I just, I really gained an appreciation for how important it is to have people come visit. Like when you guys came that night to visit, it was a tremendous help and something that I'd never, like, you know, I never appreciated when it's like, someone's in the hospital sick, well, you should'd never, like you know, I never appreciate it when it's like, someone's in the hospital sick, well you should go see them, you know? You should go see them because it's the right thing to do.

But I never really connected the dots that like, for the people who are actively supporting the person in recovery, it's also a huge help to them to like, you run out of stuff to talk about. You run out of, it drains all of your energy to sit in a hotel, in a hospital room, you know, and when doctors and nurses are coming in and just constantly pricking, prodding, and doing stuff,

and it's not a happy, it's not Disneyland, you know? So that, I mean, that is a takeaway. Oh no, and as a matter of fact, and we were there for a very short period of time, but first of all, I got lost. I had a window of time between leaving here and then going to therapy. And I had kind of planned to have like half an hour

and Jessie was gonna meet me, but my freaking GPS, my phone, sent me to the back of the hospital. Yeah, that's the wrong, and it's the big hospital. And I parked and then I had to, I mean, I was like 20 minutes from my car. And then I walk into the lobby, the hospital lobby and I see you checking in

and you had left work like way after me. Oh yeah. And that's when I see through the window and I see like the thing I had been looking for the whole time, like the grand hospital entrance with like there's multiple doors and there's a big like horseshoe where you kind of drop people off and then I saw Jessie and I was like,

where'd you park? She was like, I valeted. Yeah, she went to the right entrance. So yeah, I got lost. And I'm so sorry that happened to you, man. That's kind of like having a bleeding ulcer and almost dying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But what I was getting to is I was just reminded how much I hate hospitals. Now, I appreciate hospitals. They're absolutely necessary. But I get, and this is probably something a lot of people relate to, is I've never been in the hospital personally, I've never had to go to the hospital for anything.

I've been at the doctor or had very small procedures at an outpatient clinic. but never been in a hospital. And when I go into a hospital, and on the floor that Louis was on, you had to pass by several rooms that were open and these people are in different states of disrepair. Yeah. And-

Sometimes they're screaming. Yeah, well, there was one guy who was having a interesting exchange with a nurse. Yeah. And. Sometimes they're screaming. Yeah, well there's one guy who was having a interesting exchange with a nurse. Yeah, there's interesting scents. Yeah, and I. That float about. And again, I don't know what it is. I was going to therapy right after that. I didn't get into this, but I don't know.

I just get this feeling that I'm just like, I don't want to be here and I don't want to be here and I don't want to be a patient here ever. Yeah and you feel like being here might make me sick. Like I think things like that. But. And there's people who have to spend, not just.

Oh gosh. You know, we met the kids at St. Jude who basically, you know, some of them have spent the majority of their lives in that environment. And places like St. Jude do go to incredible lengths to create an environment that is not, it's not depressing other than the fact that why you're there.

Yeah, and this hospital was a great facility. I mean, there's no actual criticism that we could level on the facility or the faculty at any point. It's just, it's more about the stigma associated with hospitals or the fact that like a hospital is still, it is what it is and it's not a pleasant environment. And it's way more pleasant now than it was, what, you know, 50 years ago or whatever. I mean, all of this, all the procedures

they were doing on Louis, they would cart the stuff into the room and like do the scope and everything there. It was amazing. I was like, I was talking to him later, we were watching Leave it to Beaver one morning, I was like, can you imagine back in the day if Beaver had some bleeding ulcers, what would they have done?

I think they would have. Beaver would be dead, they buried Beaver. They bleeding ulcers, what would they have done? I think they would have. They would be dead, they buried Beaver. They just would have done a, they would have done surgery in order to find where you were bleeding, I think. You know, there's no scoping in your room and 30 minutes later, your wife can walk back in and get good news and a picture of it.

It's all conjecture. But I was, I gained such an appreciation, like I said, for the nurses and hospital staff in general, and, but also a revived sense of how important it is to visit people in the hospital and not let the way that we instinctively think about it, like, oh, I should visit, but I'm not going to. It makes a huge, huge difference.

And when you guys came, you know, you're able to lighten the mood, have somebody else to talk to, pass a little bit of time, you know, and obviously also give and receive love and care. You know, it's like, it can't be understated, but for some reason in my mind, I think it had gone to that place. And you know what?

In a few days, we're coming up on the two year anniversary of Lily having her spinal fusion surgery. As we record this, it will be this coming Friday because I put it on the calendar, two years. And I'm a little discouraged that I'd forgotten what I'd learned there, the things that I'm now talking about, because in her recovery, how important it was for people to come and offer support.

And again, I just felt for Louis and for mom, especially Louis, because his family wasn't there. And it was an interesting situation because, you know, I'm in a position where I'm spending hours with this guy that I've never spent, you know, I'll ride on the gator with him and the kids down and see the cows and come back. But it's not like the two of us have a vibrant relationship

where we hang out. You know, I love him because he loves my mom and my mom loves him and they are very happy together and they have a beautiful relationship and they're perfect for each other. That is enough for me to love him unabashedly. But when it comes to it- The gator helps.

And the gator helps. But when it comes to the experience of a relationship, I found it was an interesting position to be in, for him and for me probably, where, you know, we have to assume the role of the people who are providing the only emotional support for hours at a time. And, you know, I really had to deal just honestly,

this is not about Louis and my relationship with him really. I think it just kind of set the stage for me to think more about like my level of selfishness. Honestly, a lot of that came up because I just realized how much I want my life to be ordered the way I want it to be. Well, they're gonna come in for two days, this is our itinerary, we're gonna have a really good time

and then they're gonna leave and get back to their cows where they wanna be and everybody's gonna be happy and I know what my next week has in store for me. And I'm looking forward to it. It's a light week at work. I can, you know, I was looking forward to specific things. You know, I was looking forward to specific things. You know, we weren't filming anything. So it was, that was actually a blessing, you know,

because I, and again, I actually, with all the stuff that we have going on at work, I actually had a week where, you know, pretty easily I was readily available to support in a way that I very much needed to be there. Which is very unusual. Yeah, and I'm very grateful for that. I would like to think that I would have made

the right decision to change whatever I was doing in order to be there anyway. But I don't know if I would have made the right decision. Because I was still wrestling with the selfishness of like my plans, my life, my time, my desires, my comfort. You know, it was, I mean, it's again, it's embarrassing to talk about, but I feel like that's part of my takeaway

in terms of my growth in this situation is, you know, what really is love in this situation? It's making a decision to be there, aspiring to be better at loving somebody that I do love and knowing that I just didn't, that I had so many competing personal desires that were just lame. Sure, yeah, it's difficult to go through that.

It's difficult to hang out at a hospital. It's difficult to know what to talk about. It's like, but really? These are like, these are things that in your own brain you would complain about. Well, I think everybody, I think most people would. I mean, there are some people who I mean there are some people who are, there are some people who are naturally,

I mean my wife being one of them, naturally equipped to just, you know, like she can walk into the hospital room with Louis and she A, she knows exactly what to say. She knows what to say and she knows what to do. And she could talk to you, she could talk to somebody forever. I come in and I'm like, what to say. She knows what to say and she knows what to do. And she could talk to you, she could talk to somebody forever. I come in and I'm like, welcome to California.

I make a joke, right? Which is helpful but yeah, it's kind of, I relate to that because it's like searching for how did I get myself in this situation? Well and a lot of times. I don't know what to do here. My instincts don't apply. Well and I've actually in many different ways,

this is one of the advantages and I don't know, advantages and disadvantages of being married to someone who compliments you in a certain way, right? Who has a characteristic, like for me, I can just be like, oh, Jessie is really good at that. She knows what to say, she knows how to comfort somebody, so the unit of Rhett and Jessie can comfort someone because Jessie will do it because I can't do it.

And for me, it's part of what you're saying, which is just like, well, I got too much stuff I gotta get to. I mean, my stuff that I gotta worry about is more important than this. Right. There's part of it that's that and then the other side is just feeling inadequate.

Well and also, what happens when the comforting aspect of the unit is the one that needs comforting? You know, it's like, it kinda breaks down internally at that point too, right? Yeah, that's when you hire someone. Oh shoot. No, yeah, exactly. That's where it comes, it's not a good thing.

I'm saying you end up creating a, your deficit can grow because you're relying on someone to fill that. And I learned so much from Christy to be able to meet people's needs and have empathy. You know, I guess that's what we're talking about, right? We're talking about being empathetic. Yeah, I think that's part of it.

And again, that's why I'm so in awe of people who devote their lives in the field of nursing and all the people who devote their lives in the field of nursing and all the people who would, the people who would come in and clean the room, the assistance to the nurses, everybody who have devoted their lives to caring for people in that way is just, it's amazing.

And it draws into focus ways that I can kind of step up and be a better person, I think. I think in watching those people and dealing with the patients and even in the moments of frustration and confusion and just having composure and still having just a, just bringing healing to a situation is something that, I don't know,

my eyes were really open to that. I think when, Lily's situation was different because it was a planned procedure and it was a controlled recovery that we were prepared for. But so there was never any huge scrambling emergency moment. I think that's the difference here that then there were ugly aspects to it, to this experience that I witnessed

firsthand people stepping up and helping people to this experience that I witnessed firsthand people stepping up and helping. Well and what it makes me think about is people who, you know, Louis, he's home now, right? So it was an incredibly difficult week, full of lessons, but what if the second week was just like the first week and the third week was just like the second week?

And people who have their lives turned upside down because someone becomes critically ill, terminally ill, like if it happens to somebody in your family, if it happens to one of your children, then all of a sudden your life basically becomes what you're talking about. Mm-hmm. And that is, that becomes your new normal.

Which again, I mean, I'm gonna keep plugging St. Jude. We did not, I didn't expect to. But they helped us understand Right. all the support that a family needs. Like they have a program at St. Jude that is specifically designed for siblings of terminally ill kids and because what they've seen

is that these kids, they have emotional needs too. And when all the attention and all the resources are going on this person who is sick, what happens to you? I mean, I think in the book and the movie, Wonder, is all, you know, they talk about the older sister's story. Anyway, all that to say, St. Jude is sort of like love in action.

You're talking about like what you can do personally and they've kind of created a whole system to support that kind of love in action. It's kind of, this experience I think is, it's just kind of jostled me awake to my unwarranted expectations that my life is gonna be, continue to be what I expect it to be.

We experience so much positive things and it's like, in this conversation, you start to feel a little guilty about it, but it's not that I wanna feel guilty, I wanna be grateful, but I also want not to live my life as if I expect or demand no curve balls, you know? Well, yeah, I mean, and we talked about this before, there are many times when things are going well

and I think both of our personalities are actually geared towards, all right, kind of expecting something to go wrong because it just, things shouldn't, things are going well right now so surely the bottom's gonna drop out somewhere and sort of just anticipating that something like that will happen but also at the same time knowing I am not emotionally prepared and I'm also not like,

I am also too selfish right now to be able to take this, something that would inconvenience me to that level. Yeah. I'll share one more image, something that I wanna, a memory that I wanna stick with me, I'll share with you in order to help solidify it since sometimes maybe saying stories helps me remember them or at least now I'll have an audio record.

Oh gosh, we must've been three days in. They had started allowing him to drink and eat some like liquefied foods, but then they had evidence that he might've been bleeding again. So it was kind of a panic mode for a few minutes and then they pulled, well, not a few minutes, but longer than that, they decided to pull back

and he's not allowed to eat or drink anything as they monitored him. Now, it turns out that he was not bleeding anymore, but that was a setback in terms of his experience. And you're confined in the hospital on the opposite coast with me supporting you every morning alone. No, he was very gracious, but it was very frustrating to not even be able to drink water at all.

And it was, so it was, you know, it was tough to keep his spirits up and the television helped. I know at home, like he falls asleep to the television on, that's like his white noise. So that helped him get some rest. And then, but the thing that happened a few hours later after the step backwards,

not being able to even drink anything and him like literally being parched. The television went just a fuss. And I look at it. He didn't say a word, but I'm thinking, oh my gosh, this is like the main thing that's, feels like we're holding this together now, it's just the television, there's no food,

there's nobody else but me to talk to. And now the television is like weak signal. It said like, signal cannot be acquired. I'm like, oh crap. And then I'm like panicking inside and I'm like trying to put on a positive face and I'm like well, what do we do now? And then I'm like, I stood up and I'm like,

I look at the television kind of like when you open the hood of your car when you know something's wrong with it and you're supposed to look at the motor before you decide to get someone who's qualified to fix it. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna look at the television. What do we do now? And so I'm standing there at the foot of the bed

and then I was like, it looks like I'm your only form of entertainment. And then I just started doing a, I guess I'll call it an Irish jig. Like it was kind of a river dance thing. There was some elbow movement though and a lot of leg movements and some kicking. How long did that last?

Till I got winded. Till I got a smile out of him. And then I was like, do you have any cash? He said, no, I don't have any, I don't know where my wallet is. And I was like, well, then I'm not gonna strip for you. And then I got a laugh out of him. And it was the first time he had laughed,

I don't know, before he landed. So that helped, but then I ended up unplugging the television and doing all sorts of religious ceremonies in my own brain and plugging it back in and it started working. So we got Leave it to Beaver back on and some Price is Right. But, and then they started introducing, allowing him to eat, drink water, and then eat these like, ices, like lemon ices.

But he had been talking about these lemon ices because they had let him have them and then they these like, I see these like lemon ices. But he had been talking about these lemon ices because they had let him have them and then they took them away. And then a whole day later, he's like talking about these lemon ices. Anything, yeah, at that point. Oh gosh, it was like a, it was like a mirage in the room, I felt like.

And they finally told him he could have one. And it brought it in there. And this is like a culmination of like hours and hours of being fixated on it. And then he had this lemon ice and he's eating. I'm like, how's that lemon ice? He was like, oh, it's good, good, good. And I said, what did you say?

He said, I like that lemon ice. I was like, no, what did you say? And he, I like that lemon ice. I was like, no, what did you say? And he said, it's good, good, good. And I said, that's exactly right. So I'll never forget that. Now what happened to the cows? They're fine. What happens when you-

His brothers and some, he had someone else who helps with the farm who helped with the cows. Was it Ted, Fred, or Ned? I don't know. Who's the cow? Probably all of them. The cows are taken care of. We got them on a plane. His daughter picked them up, drove them home.

They got home that night. It was 10 o'clock at night after a long day of traveling, but he was doing fine. Evidence being right when they got home, they took their luggage in the house and then Allison, his daughter, told Christy, they took their luggage in the house and then Alice and his daughter told Christy, like took the luggage in the house and then he immediately came back outside,

grabbed the leaf blower and started blowing off his carport. And then the next morning he got up and he said, he was going out the door and mom said, "'Well, where are you going?' He was like, "'I'm getting on the gator, I'm going out there.'" She said, "'Well, you can't go out there without me. I gotta get ready. My mom, she likes to take her time to get ready.

She takes a while to get ready. Well, she likes to take her time. Well, okay. Let's just say it's a choice. I'm just saying I remember it from my childhood. And he was like, no, I'm going out right now. And she said, well, let me put on my housecoat. And then she was telling Kristen, she was like,

so for the first time ever, here I am in just my housecoat, driving around out here in the gator. Can't let the cows see you. And then, so he surveyed his property, came back, parked the gator, went inside, sat down in his recliner, and mom said that was the first time he seemed 100% at ease in over a week and a half.

Yeah, he's back in his environs. Yeah, so he's doing well. He's got to tackle these ulcers long term and figure out, and they're gonna monitor that and they're gonna figure, they're gonna get to the bottom of all that. They're getting to the bottom of why it's happening. Right, but he didn't have to stay in California to deal with all of that.

So he's doing that back home and like I said, I talked to him right before we came in here and he said he was in a meeting with some guys and that he was doing something tonight. So he's like. Probably Ned, Ted and Fred. Oh yeah. The brother summit.

But Cindy Lewis, my love, my father-in-law and I don't know, thank you for hearing me out. I don't know, take from it what you will. I know I've taken a lot from the experience and I'm grateful to have had it even though it was in no way easy. I feel very grateful for the outcome for him and for mom. Thank you for sharing, Link.

You're welcome. We'll close with a quick rec. Thank you for sharing, Link. You're welcome. We'll close with a quick rec. I'm going to recommend another podcast, a podcast that I've been listening to that we are in no way affiliated with, but I really like called Science Versus.

It is a approximately half hour weekly podcast where they very simply take a subject of any kind, approximately half hour weekly podcast where they very simply take a subject of any kind. It might be like climate change. It might be DNA, like hereditary companies. It might be vaccines. It might be gun control. It's basically just issues that people throw all kinds of opinions out and they say,

we're only going to talk about what the latest science is. They do upwards of 100 resources or references in each podcast to, it's very well researched, half hour. And if you're the kind of person who's just an inquisitive mind and you wanna know what the science says about a particular thing, you can just scroll through. They've already addressed a lot of different subjects and keep coming out with weekly episodes.

So Science Versus recommended. Is it V-S or V-E-R-S-U-S? It's just V-S. Okay, easier. Yeah. There you have it, another Ear Biscuit in the can. Hashtag Ear Biscuits, let us know if any part of this conversation

or the experience I shared resonates with you in any way. I'd love to hear from you, hashtag Ear Biscuits. And we'll speak at you again next week because. That's what we do. Well that's what we plan on doing. Weekly. Yeah, we plan on it. I'm just saying, I don't know what life could throw at us.

True. If it all lines up, we'll bring another biscuit your way. Yep.