Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 199: What If Our Dogs Died? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 199

Episode Date: June 24, 2019

A close call encounter with both of their dogs leads R&L to discuss the inevitable 'what if' of when their beloved canines are no longer with them. Listen to their recent scares and the heartwarming relationships they have with Barbara and Jade in this episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit.

Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy a room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits. I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're tackling the question, what if our dogs die? Oh, really?

Why we gotta? Oh, it's a downer. Oh, it's so sad. Actually, you know, we had a scare with Jade. I will say she is fine. And we had a scare with Barbara, incidentally. And when I told you I wanted to talk about a scare, I didn't tell you what the scare was

to save it for the podcast. That's how we live our lives. And then you're gonna tell me about your scare with Barbara. So just based on knowing that we both have scares, I think we will unpack the imminent death of our dogs. Not, not, not like, well, imminent's not the right word. That seems like it's rapidly approaching. Here's the thing, did you read The Secret?

I've never read it, but lots of people have. Did you slide it to me on a sheet of paper? No. Here's rapidly approaching. Here's the thing, did you read The Secret? I've never read it, but lots of people have. Did you slide it to me on a sheet of paper? No. Here's The Secret. And I think if you believe the things that are written in The Secret, and Oprah endorsed it, so it must be true, then if you say things that can happen, so you just said imminent death of our dogs,

and now you've got me repeating it. Are you saying we're speaking? We're manifesting it. Manifesting it? So we need to unmanifest that. The immortality of our dogs. The immortality of our dogs. Immortality of our dogs. Our dogs will live forever.

Our dogs will never die. Our dogs are safe. Our dogs will never die. All dogs die. Manifest that, Oprah. Not all dogs truly live. By the way, anytime Oprah would like to come on, she is welcome.

We don't do guests anymore, man. Will you do anything for Oprah? But will we? I would. Would you execute Barbara for Oprah? Again, that's not the question. I would do anything for Oprah but I wouldn't do that. Oh gosh, and you know Meatloaf,

that's his song, never got into Meatloaf, but someone almost bought me a Meatloaf record, which is the other thing I wanna talk about. Well, I'll take a step back and say, I need to unpack my 41st birthday. I wanna do that in this episode. I know you're interested in how I celebrate it. I dove down deep into the birthday hole

and I came out 41, came out 41. How's it feel? I've been there for a while. So I'll also give you an update on that even though you were at the party, Rhett. I don't wanna. I was, I can give you my perspective on the party. I can give a partygoer's perspective

on your 41st birthday party. Okay, okay. So we're gonna kinda catch up with each other. Again, the thing that we're ultimately gonna center on is the immortality of our dogs, and if for some reason they turn out to not be as immortal as we think that they are and we manifest in Oprah's name, then how would we respond?

And we will tell these stories of their near deaths. Which I have not heard yours, you haven't heard mine. No, that's right, but what do you wanna talk about first? Because I got another little. I thought you had like a. I got a little thing that I'm working on that I just wanna process. You have a project?

It's summertime. Is it a popsicle on that I just wanna process. You have a project? It's summertime. Is it a popsicle fort? I think you put. Because you, you remember when we made the popsicle fort growing up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you, you were. This was a church project. You remember they took that room,

the small room upstairs in Blue Street First Baptist. It was dedicated to a popsicle fort. And the only thing in there was a popsicle fort. It's pretty awesome. And you were so proud of it and I would go in and disassemble it on a regular basis. I was wondering who did that. And be like, they don't need that, we don't need that tower.

That's not what I was gonna talk about. Oh, I'm sorry. You guys said you had a project, I thought it might be a Popsicle fort. I don't know if it's technically summertime. I don't know when this comes out. But to my mind, we're in summertime because. For sure we are.

My kids are out of school, that's summertime. We're in summertime as this is being recorded, man. June 21st I think is the technical first day of summer, which is our first day of tour. I don't go by official stuff like that. But when the kids get out of school, when the traffic gets a little lighter in LA, it becomes summertime, you start to think,

what am I gonna do different? What am I gonna do different? Yeah, shave my beard a little bit shorter. This morning. Summer beard. 6-24 is the release date of this. Welcome to summer. Where in summer? The summer solstice.

See, I was right. So I'm thinking of ways that I can embrace summer and so this morning, I thought I'd try something new on for size, literally. Do you have it on right now? Yeah, it's down here. See that? Look at, you see my shoe?

Only you can see it, Rhett. Not even the YouTube viewers can see it. It's just a normal shoe. Yeah, but look down at the edge. You see down in the shoe? What's down in that shoe? I can't see, I honestly can't see into the shoe. My foot's in the shoe.

Yeah. But what else is in the shoe? Nothing. Oh, you're sockless. I'm going sockless today because I walked out, these shoes are down there at my garage, but I gotta do some planning to put my socks on up in my bedroom.

If there's no socks waiting down, sometimes I'll take my socks off when I take my shoes off and I'll come in the house, either in bedroom slippers, like a 50s dad, sitcom dad, put on my bedroom slippers, or I'll just be barefoot. But I guess yesterday, I didn't have, I didn't take off my socks from my shoes, I put them in the laundry upstairs.

Sorry if this is too detailed. But then when I came down today, I assumed there would be old socks there that I could just reuse. There weren't, and I was like, you know what? I'm doing it. But you know why you. It's summertime. No, but you know why you did this.

I'm going sockless. We had a conversation about the fact that I've been wearing shoes without socks. I knew you were gonna say this. I knew you were gonna say that yesterday we had a conversation about it, and you're gonna take credit. Not a sponsor.

You gonna put your shoe up on the table. I got these shoes. I got coffee up here, man. You don't, well it's not anywhere near you. These shoes don't require. Fleas are probably jumping off the freaking. They don't require socks. And I'm not even gonna mention what they are. If they wanna be a sponsor,

then we'll talk about them extensively. You see the ads on Instagram, then you buy the shoes. And I looked at the ads. But these are designed to not have socks. Your shoes are not designed to have socks. You're gonna have a stink fest, man. I'm not saying you have to buy these shoes. I'm just saying that you can't do that.

I think you did influence me. Of course. Because I'm like, I've always wanted to wear shoes without socks. They don't feel good though. It always feels like it should feel good. And I see people who do it and I'm envious. I'm like, man. You should try these on.

That person's trotting around sockless. It must be summertime, it must be spring, it must be fall. It could be any time of year, but you just seem freer. And I'm envious of that. Yeah, you should be. And I'm like, I can't do that because of the foot sweat. Well how do you feel at this point in the middle of the afternoon?

Not good at all. Yeah, that's a bad idea. Within five minutes of putting them on, I walked out to the car and I was like, I gotta turn around, I gotta go all the way upstairs and I gotta fetch socks. You make it seem like you live in a mansion that it's gonna take a significant amount of time

to get upstairs. It would take you 17 seconds to get to your bedroom. Well, I mean, there's 14 steps, man. Yeah. That's at least 17 seconds just to get up the stairs in a safe manner. You move pretty slow. I do three steps at a time. I'm a long-legged beast.

Anyway, it's not working. I mean, I just wanna be one of those people so bad. I readily admitted on the Mythical Society monthly address. Yeah, that's where we got into this. My 15-year-old son who is, he kinda, cooler than you. He knows what's cool, he wears the cool stuff.

He likes them? I said, what do you think about these shoes? He was like, they look good. If Kanye had come out with these exact shoes, you would think they were awesome. I think those look good, but you can't wear them without socks. I think they look good. If Kanye had come out with these exact shoes, you would think they were awesome. I think those look good, but you can't wear them without socks. What is that called?

They actually don't stink though. Well it's day one. What are those called, what's the name of those? Adidas I-5923s. Smell of it. I know, I don't need to. Smell of that. No, no, I don't need to.

I smell of yours. I smell of Oprah's shoes. I smell of yours on that video we made. I bet you Oprah doesn't need to. I smell of yours. I smell of Oprah's shoes. I smell yours on that video we made. I bet you Oprah doesn't wear socks. Do you feel like you would sweat in normal shoes but not those? I would sweat like crazy. And you don't sweat?

There's no way you don't sweat. It's just wicked away or something. Bingo? It's called moisture wicking? It's constantly being wicked, man. If you're being wicked, you don't think about the sweat. Do you feel freer? I feel like I'm being wicked constantly.

My feet are just a constant wick. Now I have, in fact. Translate that into pleasure. Well, I've got a new movie coming out, John Wick 4. I don't know which. I'm just asking what positive benefits do you receive from having your feet wicked? Because I feel like I know that they're there,

I just can't articulate them. One less step in the morning, I thought you would appreciate that. Yeah. Extreme comfort. And I think showing a little ankle is a little bit sexy. You wear no-show socks, that's what I do. But the problem with the no-show socks is that

they bind my toe, they're so tight on my toes. You gotta get the right brand. I picked up some no-show socks. This whole opening sounds like an ad. Let's go ahead and talk about no-show socks. So I picked up some no-show socks. Is it Aldo or Aldo? Aldo?

That place, the shoe store? Aldo? I think it's Aldo. Aldo. We were in there with my- Aldo, you go there, you don't know how to say it. When my brother was in town and we went in there for something.

And I got the ones that they, it was like, oh, this is a really good price. It was like three pairs for like 11 bucks, which is, is this whole podcast a commercial? This isn't a commercial. Don't get offended. Talking about products that you are enjoying in life and then talking crap about them

is definitely not a commercial. This is a warning, if anything. Don't, if you have a size 12 feet, don't get the Aldo socks that they sell for a good price because the things were so tight that literally, I bought three pairs in a pack. You lost a toe.

Every single pair. And listen, I'm talking, I got trimmed toenails. It wasn't my toenails busting through. I trim my toenails on a regular basis now because I never know when I'm gonna show up and they're gonna be like, we need to show your feet on the camera today. Really, like.

You are bitter today. No, I'm not bitter, I'm very happy. I've seen, I've watched seven hours of Oprah right before I just was on the Oprah channel. Anyway, my toe busted through the sock in one day. Like by the afternoon I get home, I take my shoe off and my toes are busted through. But if you get just the, I don't even know what brand it is

because this is not a commercial, but just I got some on Amazon. Those have lasted forever and they also have this little thing that like grips the back of your foot, this little rubber thing. I got some of those but they're still tight. Man, you gotta go size up. You're not talking about your toe busting through, check.

Yeah, you busted through your whole thing. These shoes, look at that. My toe busted through, my big toe busted through the end of my right shoe. In the first week that you owned them. Yeah, after a week of wearing these. But I liked them so much, I bought another pair anyway. Is that the other pair?

No, this is the new pair didn't bust through. You still, I wore these without socks because I was not about to wear my go-to shoes and funk them up. This was an experiment, man. Adidas would have replaced those, by the way. No charge. I know, but you have to complain.

And time is money. Complaint is time and time is money. And I spent that time just ordering another pair of shoes ironically. So is your project that you were talking about, you not wearing socks? Bingo. Who can play bingo? Okay that's it huh?

Huh? Well I didn't say that it was some, I didn't think it was worthy of a opening conversation but it looks like we've had it. No I'm just saying that I wanna know if I should press on. No, not if they don't wick. Because does it give you that reggae vibe?

Like all of a sudden you're like laid back. If it does not wick, you must acquit. That doesn't work. If it does not wick, you must sock it. If it does not wick, you must sock it. If it does not wick, you must not commit. Yeah, you don't have wicking shoes, man. You can't do it. You gotta put socks on.

If you're interested in some wicking shoes, just ask me, I'll tell you where I got these. Whoa, do you see that? I sunk all the way down. Cause I hit, my foot is now caught under my chair. Sorry. Do you wanna start talking about the dogs or do you wanna work towards the dogs?

Because I kinda feel like we should work towards the dogs. Yeah, let's. Because we're gonna talk about. I'll give an update on my birthday. The emotional quotient. Yeah, because I mean, turn turning 40 was a big deal. We both had big parties. You can go back and listen to those respective ear biscuits

about those two events. 41 does not warrant that big of an event. 41 does not warrant an entire podcast conversation. Says it was not getting one. And it ain't gonna get it. Basically, it just warrants the fact that if you were already having a get together, there was like a standing event every month,

you got a game night. That basically, you know, a lot of our friends come to. I'm not gonna say every single one of my friends. You commandeered my game night as your birthday party. Jessie graciously texted and said, hey, our next game night falls on Link's birthday. Yep. So you guys wanna do that as his birthday?

It's totally up to you. I was like, yeah, that's a good idea. I didn't mind at all. You were hurt? You a little hurt by that? No, it's fine. I brought my games over to your house. Jessie was flying out of town, by the way,

so it actually helped. We didn't play any of the games, and you still have them. I'll get to that. I left my games there. I'll get to that. Would you just let me talk about my birthday? So yeah, I was very appreciative to like, basically we already had an invitation list, everybody was already expecting to show up somewhere.

It was like, made it very simple. So they come over and I was like, well, you know what, the one thing about birthday parties, if I'm gonna have one, even if it is just 41, I kinda would like presents. This is me talking to Christy. This is not an adult thing to say. Christy's like,

This isn't what 41 year old men do. Christy's like, yeah, I'm gonna invite people over and I'm gonna say they don't have to Christy. This is not an adult thing to say. Christy's like, this isn't what 41 year old men do. Christy's like, yeah, I wanna invite people over and I'm gonna say they don't have to bring gifts. I was like, whoa, whoa, hold on, let's discuss. I'm like, I kinda would like gifts. And I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna make it easy and affordable for people. I'm gonna be like, I would, honestly what I'd really like

is like records to add to my record collection. And your wife. Just give me a used record. You can get one for like four bucks. It can be an expression of what you as my friend think I would like. Hold on, you're taking what you said. This is what I told her.

Well. You weren't there. Well, your wife sent an email out, okay? And your wife made it sound like it was her idea. What she said was, is that, you know what, you don't have to bring a gift. She took one for the team, I think. She made it tactful, which is something that you were not about to do.

Right. So she said, you don't have to bring a gift, but if you do bring a gift, he's always looking to beef up his record collection. Right. That's a paraphrase. I don't think your wife used the term beef up. I don't think I've ever heard her say that.

Yeah. But you know what I'm saying. Because I am beefed up. Right, you're already beefed up. She doesn't need to say it. She doesn't say you need to beef up. Sometimes she'll say, I've noticed that you're maintaining your beefed up.

Or staying beefed up. Did you notice when you showed up, you were one of the first people to show up because you're my best friend. Yeah, I showed up first. You gotta be there to help. I showed up, you were one of the first people to show up because you're my best friend. Yeah, I showed up first. You gotta be there to help. I showed up first and by the way, didn't get you used records and didn't get you,

I got you like six records. That's right. I spent like $200 on records. I did notice that, I did notice that. For your birthday, just so you know. I'll have to post, if you wanna know what my records are, you have to follow me on Instagram, Link Lamont. Well, lots of shout outs.

I'll share a few of them. Did you notice, when you said that, it reminded me of the Golden Girls theme song. What did I say that makes you think of the theme song? Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again. Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant. And if you threw a party

and invited everyone you knew, you would see the greatest gift. Yeah, the greatest gift would be for me, from me. You would see the greatest gift would be from me. And the card attached would say, thank you for being a friend. And you know what, you did attach a card. But it said happy birthday, bitch. It did.

And it had Jessie from Breaking Bad on it. And you would see the greatest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, happy birthday, bitch. It had a sweet note inside, which I'll treasure. It did, it was very sweet. And I'll only keep for myself. I was mostly interested in the records though.

But people complained, let me just say this, people complained about my birthday wish to you on the internet. Instagram, not being sappy enough. Sappy enough, I saw that. I think I was doing. It was funny this year. That was me, man.

He's 41, guys. I have fan accounts of myself. No one cares. And I commented as if I were a fan of myself. I got sappy at 40, I'll get sappy at 50. Right. The next nine years you're gonna have to just deal with mild comedy.

You put some of that in the card and I appreciate it. Again, it's not for public consumption and I do take issue. Make it sound like I, I mean I didn't say anything embarrassing. It wasn't like a sext or anything. I mean your wife wrote on one side, you wrote on the other side.

Yeah. You wrote on the left side, so it felt like you wrote yours first. I did. So you didn't write anything that it would've been really awkward if she read it. I'll put it to you that way. I don't think there's anything that I could've written

that if she had happened to open the card not planning on writing in it, that would've been awkward. A sext would fall in that category. Yeah but I don't think I've got that in me. That's what she said. Gosh. Look at Jacob. He's just shaking his head. Listen, so I don't know if you noticed

but I met everybody at the door. They took the records from them. I took the record and they would, Hold on. And it would be wrapped and I would immediately unwrap it and because I was, I was very interested. And might I say that one of our friends brought you records and you gave them,

you said I got all these and gave them right back to me. I felt bad, this is Ward. I mean, well here's what Ward said, he was like. You don't do that, man. No, he said, he said listen man, before I opened the records he was like listen man, I I opened the records, he was like, listen man, I hope you don't have this, I don't know if you have it, if you have it, just tell me.

That's what he said, and then you joined the conversation when I'm telling him. I'm like, yeah man, I got this one. But actually he gave me two, he gave me a used Merle Haggard album and he gave me a brand new, a Sturgill Simpson, A Sailor's Guide to whatever it is. Which you have.

I actually have the Merle one too but I lied and said, oh I don't think I have this one. Oh, okay. So I did feel kind of bad. So I 50% lied, because that was the used one. But the new one I felt bad that he spent all that money on a new record. He did say, if you've got it, I'll take it

because I want this. Yes he did. He did say that if you've got it, I'll take it because I want this. Yes, he did. He did say that. After you told him, after he kinda saw the look on your face, he's really gonna give this back. My dad is the exact same way, by the way. When he opens a gift, I got this, he's like, this is ugly. You picture this on me?

Like talking about clothes at Christmas, like, he's notorious. He'll go through the trouble of trying it on to prove to you how bad of a gift it is. It runs in the family, folks. It runs in the family. Just to show you that it ain't me. I mean look, I'm trying to stand natural,

but I just don't feel right in it. That's a tough person to give a gift to. Now the reason my gifts were so perfect is because your wife sent me a list. Yeah, I got Low End Theory, Midnight Marauders, haven't listened to them yet. Sufjan Stevens, The Avalanche. Neil Young, Harvest, Moon.

Oh you're gonna list them all? Some of it for the Instagram. Okay, well there's more. And I got you all new records, man. Yeah, you went all out. They're all plastic wrapped. However, the Steely Dan album that you recommended as one of your recs recently, Asia, you specifically requested the AB pressing,

not the AA pressing, which they didn't have the AB pressing. They had some very nice AA pressings that were plastic wrapped in like 30 bucks a piece. And I don't really understand. According to my Reddit research. Yeah, I looked it up when I was in there. I looked it up, I looked up the Reddit thread while I was in the store,

because I was like, first of all, what does this mean and is this what I'm thinking it is? I don't really, I still don't understand exactly what it is but like I guess AB was the original pressing and people who are familiar with it think that they screwed something up with the next pressing. Apparently different pressings sound dramatically different according to Reddit, and once you read that stuff,

given my personality type, I can't ignore it. So I just couldn't have the AA pressing on my shelf knowing that Reddit says that it's inferior. It's also very rare and you're not gonna buy it at Amoeba. Ah. Because they're like 100 bucks, I think, if you can find one. I think you might be able to find one on eBay.

I was so excited about it because the collection aspect of my life has been fallow for decades. Like, you know how I like to collect things, especially as a child, you know? And still being a 41-year-old child, in Lily's birthday card to me, she was like, "'Happy 44th birthday,

"'but I know you're still a 10-year-old, basically.'" It's like this is coming from my 16-year-old daughter. True. Yeah, I mean, I had to resist. Actually, every time I go on Amoeba, first of all, if you come to LA, you should go to Amoeba Music, because it's, and there's one in San Francisco as well,

right, it's unlike any other music store, it's just massive and. They have concerts in there? They have people play live in there. They also have books, by the way. I've never been to the section with the books and the graphic novels and the games. I actually went to the game section

so it was like, oh, Link said he wanted me to bring games. Couldn't find a game to bring but I bought some books for myself. But yeah, you should go because it's just, it's a unique experience. But when I was in there, I thought to myself, I have to resist that part of my personality which looks at the record players and the speakers and sees that oh,

there's a whole world here. There's a whole world that you could get into and you know I like to get into things but then I'm like well, this one's easy because Link's already into that so I can't also get into that. But I walk through there and I'm so tempted to sit there and look at these record players.

Did you just admit to all the stuff that you get into is basically because you know you're gonna trap me in it? No, no, no, no. That's part of it. No, I'm saying that I don't think, it's the kind of thing that's just like, it's one thing to be like, oh, I'm getting into surfing or off-roading and something that you can do,

as you can be like, oh, let's go do that together. But like, But we could trade do that together, but like. But we could trade records. We could swap records, you can own half the amount of records and plus then you could do like you did with your lights and you could be like, hey look, I went out and got lights too. I got a record player too but mine's better than yours.

But you can't. Just like you did with the lights. But you can't voice control a record player. Google will not know what to do with that. If you could, then you're gonna get that so that you can tell me that you had a better record player. I bet, also, I don't have a spot for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't have a, my house is set up in a kind of a weird way where I don't have like a place. Let it be my thing. Come over anytime you want. I was gonna let it be your thing until you just told it that maybe it should be my thing too. I'm letting you off the hook. I invited you. I don't wanna spend

the money on that. I don't wanna pressure you. Don't let me pressure you. I'll just give you good records for it. I didn't say let it be my thing. I was like, hey, you know what? Just let it be my thing. I'm gonna get in a Popsicle fort building. How about that?

I got a spot for that. Not a lot else to say about the party once I opened all the presents. In my mind, it was pretty much over. Yeah, everybody was still hanging out and there was a lot of quality conversation to be had. Well we did introduce all of our friends to Jim Bakker's buckets.

Right. That's what I served for dinner. By the end of the night, so I don't know how we got on this, but by the end of the night we brought, I started talking about it in a group of people but by the end of the night, we brought, I started talking about it in a group of people and by the end of the night, we were gathered around a television watching Vic Berger's edits

of Jim Bakker's Buckets and they were all just, first of all, people kept walking in and every person who would walk in would not, at first, realize that it was an edit and they thought that it was original and so all the weird stuff that Vic burgered, first of all, Jim Bakker's buckets infomercials are weird enough on their owns, their owns.

If you don't know what it is, we did a taste test on the show, you can watch that or I'll just tell you that famous 80s televangelist Jim Bakker has now made a comeback from scandals and that's an understatement, to then use fear mongering of the apocalypse and the rapture, meaning like the end of the world and those who are gonna survive it,

if they believe the right things or whatever, are gonna have to survive off of buckets of slop that he sells for like thousands of dollars. Well, I think you get a pretty good deal on them. I mean, that was really fun, but it kind of killed my party, honestly. Whenever we ran out of videos to watch, everybody was like, well, I gotta go home.

And then the only person that stayed there was Jenny and me and Jenny hung out with Christy and Mike. We hung out for another hour and a half where she proceeded to summarize the plot of every Twilight movie to me. You talk about opening up a world you don't know if you wanna dip a toe in. How does such a thing happen?

She's obsessed with Twilight, I love her to death and I was just like getting a kick out of it. You know how Jenny will get on a roll about something. Well I was talking about how, who's that word color? Scissorhands. You talking about Scissorhands? No I'm talking about the guy who's that word color? Scissorhands. You talking about Scissorhands? No I'm talking about the guy who played the vampire in Twilight.

His real name Robert Pattinson. Rotten Pattinson. Rotten, Rotten Pattinson. You know Rotten Pattinson. He's the new freaking Batman. What? You didn't know this? This is old news homie.

Man I work too hard to know about stuff like that. Gosh. Anyway, it's summertime, take your socks off. Chill out. Anyway, I was talking about Robert Pattinson being the new Batman and then I knew that would get her all in a heat wave and I rode that wave for an hour. I did not know all the crazy stuff that happens in Twilight.

But now you know it because a woman who's watched all of them just, she was like, I don't wanna spoil it for you. I was like, you know what, I kinda do. Tell me the whole story, tell me the whole thing. Yeah. In 90 minutes. That's how I ended my 44th, I can't speak.

Well, let's talk about the dogs. I'm done with my birthday, I can't talk about it anymore. No, because we have to, we've still, we gotta get to the dogs, we gotta be linear because as you said, Jessie ended up leaving from the party to go directly to LA, well, she went home, went to LAX, went to New Orleans with some friends,

left me with the children for four or five days, and golly man. Are you gonna say you almost killed your dog when you were in charge of your family? No, the dog thing actually happened before. So we'll come back to that. But I'm just gonna tell you a little bit about what it was like to care for my children.

And it was especially, it was complicated by something that I'm not proud of that you're gonna, you know what, you don't even have to say anything. I'm here to support you. As I tell this story, you don't have to say anything. I know you're gonna wanna you know what, you don't even have to say anything. I'm here to support you. As I tell this story, you don't have to say anything. I know you're gonna wanna say a lot about this. I'm not gonna interrupt. I'm only gonna give a supportive facial expression.

We filmed something on Thursday of last week and I did what I have done many, many times since getting an iPhone 10 and that is I got my phone wet. In fact, I get my phone wet so often that I regularly film under the water in my pool and in my hot tub because it says that it's water resistant, but I watched a YouTube video where a guy basically said, you know, for all intents and purposes, the iPhone 10 is waterproof,

and here's, and then he does all these tests, he put it in the bottom of a pool for like three hours, and he kept testing it longer and longer and longer and pulled it up, and so after watching that video, I came to the conclusion that it's actually waterproof, but they have to say water resistant for legal purposes, but you should just treat it as if it's waterproof. Well, that's all wrong.

Can I say something? I can't believe you're telling this story and you're not gonna let me say anything. Go ahead, you know what? Tell your story. And so I got into a tub with my phone in my back pocket and I didn't even think to check my phone in my back pocket and I didn't even think to check my phone because again, this is just another day

of my phone getting wet. This is just what I do with my phone. It wasn't until like two hours later when I was like, oh, I might need to check my phone for something that I pulled it up and it just had the Apple logo on it. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. This can't happen.

What about the video with the guy in the pool and the 30 feet and all that? Well, it ruined my phone. Which, do you wanna say something? Yes. Can I please? Say anything you want. What about the middle of the story

that involved me talking to you about your phone before you did what you did? But you didn't even. You were about to sit down in the tub. And I said don't be alarmed. I have my phone in my pocket and I'm gonna sit in the water so don't shooting. And I said don't be alarmed, I have my phone in my pocket and I'm gonna sit in the water so don't worry. So don't stop the filming.

I'm making the decision to do this. And then you said I know you're gonna say that the iPhone, what you just said, I know you're gonna say that the iPhone is water resistant but not waterproof but that, but listen, I know it's fine and then you said everything that you said but you left out that part and I said, listen, I just wouldn't, I don't do that, I don't take that risk.

She's like, yeah, I'll put it down in the bottom of the thing and everything. So you're the type of person who, you don't trust the phone. You don't trust, you're missing out, man. You put it on me. And you, phone. You don't trust, you're missing out, man. You put it on me. And you, well. You said that. Because you made me, you made it seem like

what I was about to do was wrong. You anticipated that I was gonna judge that you were doing something stupid. All I said was, I don't even think I said anything. And in one sense, you preemptively argued with me and I wouldn't even argue with you. And in one sense. And then you killed your phone. In one sense, You preemptively argued with me and I wouldn't even argue with you. And in one sense,

And then you killed your phone. In one sense, you have missed out. All the times that I filmed underwater up until that point, it was unreal. You should look at some of my, And you know what, I haven't said a word about your phone. You should look at some of the videos.

I haven't said a word about it. So might I say, But you said, even if you would've listened back to your story, you blamed the phone. You got to take some of the blame. Well, I am serving a warning to anyone who has a iPhone 10.

Now, according to my son, the iPhone XR or whatever it is, he was like, no, Dad, the iPhone 10 is- You learned everything you know from your son. Yeah, well you should listen to him more. I'm fine with listening to your son. He was like, no dad, the iPhone 10 is not as waterproof as the XR or whatever, even though the one in that freaking video was an iPhone 10

because I watched it and that was what gave me the confidence that I then took into that tub. I'm gonna sit down in this tub and I wanna acknowledge that my phone's gonna be in my pocket, I'm doing it on purpose, don't stop the filming because I got this. I do it all the time. Now. And don't argue with me.

You're the one missing out. In my defense. That's how it went. In my defense. I didn't say nothing. Hold on, hold on. Before or after, until now. In my defense, what I was saying was is I am taking responsibility for the action that I'm taking, so if you tell me. When you just retold the story.

No, that's what I'm just saying. You blamed it on the phone. You blamed it on the guy who made the video. Well, it. You blamed it on the water. Can we move on? This is fun. I think maybe for you.

The point of the story is that. I've been holding this in. The iPhone 10 is not waterproof. It is water resistant and. No one ever said it was waterproof except that guy. You can push it, don't push it. So what this led to is thankfully my phone was insured but I don't have AppleCare,

so I can't just go to the store. It was through the insurance you get through your carrier, right, which means you get it next day. But there was a problem with the flight. There was a flight delay, and so I didn't get it on Friday, which means I had to wait until Monday, which means I wasn't gonna have my phone for four days. The flight that the phone was on?

Yeah, because it was overnight from Kentucky or wherever they keep these phones. And not having the phone was on? Yeah, because it was overnight from Kentucky or wherever they keep these phones. And not having my phone, which incidentally, we have the social iPhone here, which I was able to put my SIM card in, which is weird because you can't just take your SIM card and put it into another phone. You'll get some texts, but you don't get all texts.

Your phone doesn't work properly unless you completely put all your stuff in it. Submerge it in water? Yeah, you gotta keep it in water. Right. Caring for children, and I said this in a tweet at some point, is mostly driving them places. At their age, yeah.

They have to be so many freaking places. Why do they have to be so many places? What happened to just- Yeah, they're not quite ready to get there themselves. What happened to just being at home and making fun for yourself? Why do you gotta have art camp and basketball practice? And then another thing,

and then why you gotta hang out with your friends? Well, you know, why can't you, so driving around, not having a functioning phone. My wife got home after, she got home last night actually. And she walked in the door and she said, why does the house smell like feet? And I was like, listen, that is the last thing that I'm worried about.

I am just glad that I have a phone that works now, that you're back. They're not dead. They went to stuff. We had good times together. You know, I ended up having lunch, which I never am having lunch in the middle of the day with Shepard, but I was able to do that three days.

And we had a great time, but I don't know, and when she asked the question about the feet, my honest answer was, I don't know why it smells like feet. And I don't know why you being here means it doesn't smell like feet. Like I honestly can't, you think it's simple. You think it's things like, It's like a walking odor eater.

You think it's things like we left socks out or something. No, everything was properly disposed of. It was just something about me and my boys being together in a home for an extended period of time that just made it smell like feet. Stress. What was it, where's it coming from? It's not coming from my feet.

I don't even wear socks, I have wicking shoes. I think it's just the stress of you having, the weight of responsibility being on your shoulders for once. It just ekes out in like a foot smell. Man, I was just so glad. Not that, listen, I don't wanna, I'm not trying to give the wrong idea as if like,

well, when my wife's in town, she's the one that worries about the kids and I don't do anything. I'm just saying when there is saying when it's all on you, and I sympathize, man, because I was, the thing was, I wanted to talk about this, I wanted to show this because what I was doing, thankfully I was able to stay, I was able to work from home and we are currently, look at this, look at this.

We have what they call the bound galley of the Lost Causes of Bleak Creek, our novel that comes out in the fall, October 29th. You can pre-order right now at bleakcreek.com. Ooh, ad. So what we're doing right now is we're going through this and it's kind of the last time that we can read it

and edit it before it's completely locked. You wanna read it right now? There you go. And so I was able to do that from home. No pictures in it. Made it where I could do the things that I needed to do, take the kids to where I needed to take them and then kind of fill in the gaps with,

oh it's got, oh there's a chapter 19. Close that, people are gonna zoom in on that, man. Oh yeah. People are definitely gonna zoom in on that. You're gonna have to blur that, Kiko. You know what, I'll blur it. I'll do it myself, it's my fault. So I don't know how many times I've now read the book.

There was a point in which I was like, I've read this book so many times, I know every single, obviously I know every single thing that's gonna happen. But so, like at this point, one of the things that I'm doing and going through is making sure that there's not like, oh, that phrase or that particular word, that descriptive language

was used and then it was used again, which is something you do, like, especially if you're writing a novel for the first time,'s like when you're using descriptive language you may go to the same places and so going into those places and making it and changing it, that's one of the things I've been doing but it's like I'm so familiar with it at this point that I'll see a phrase or I'll see like two words together

and be like those two words were together five chapters ago. Yeah. Let me go find that. And let me, and so. You're getting a little too. Close to it. Yeah, you're getting a little too close to it. I don't even, like it's like. I read it in a day and a half in like a speed kind of way

because I also know what's happening. But I read it in reverse to make sure every word was spelled correctly. No, I didn't. Somebody is doing that though, by the way. Because I blurted out, I mean really, you did blurt it out, but I'm gonna say I did. I'll read an excerpt from chapter 19,

which is a chapter that I held up. He lay there in his teenage mutant ninja turtle boxers, which were still slightly damp. That's not a complete sentence, it continues, but it was a little bit of a spoiler if I keep reading. That is a line in the book, in chapter 19. You were saying you were doing this and you were building up to something.

No, I was saying that was what I was doing. Oh, okay. I was saying I- So you were able to be home. Single parents who are responsible for children and have a job. Like my mom was. That is, man, I just, again, I was that for like four days

and two of those days were a weekend. And I just felt like I was just gonna go nuts. I mean, hats off to those of you who are primary caregivers, working and raising children without any help. It ain't easy. But I wanna know what happened to your dog. You said it was before that.

It was the day before we left. Are we at this point in the podcast where it's like, people are mad that we haven't talked about our dogs? No, no, no, no, no, this is like, They're fine with that, right? This is like the old school like, Charles Trippi and Shay Carl vlogs, where it would say something in the title,

and then you'd be like, where the hell is that thing that they talked about in the title? Yeah, but this is like 40. There are no rules, just right, Outback Steakhouse. I mean, I think we've had a great conversation except for that part where you really got on me about my phone, I mean everything's been pretty good.

That's a highlight for me. The. I really needed that, I've been holding that in for a while. So right before Jessie left, she called me and she said well I just got a call from a woman who said, do you own a little white dog? Oh no. And Jessie was like, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah.

She said, well, I have her right now. And for $50,000. You can have her back. No. That's a good question. How much would you, well go ahead. So interestingly, here's what happened. First of all, Barbara is a homebody.

She is not, there's a lot of dogs that like, if you open the door, they bolt for the door and they try to get, and they'll run, right? Barbara's never done that. In fact, sometimes we leave the door open if we're going down to the car and Barbara will just come to the door, if one person is a straggler and the door's still open,

she'll just come to the front door. She might walk out onto the front porch and look at us, but only if she knows that she's going to be in the car does she come down the stairs and get into the car. And then never has she gone down the driveway, and it's a pretty long driveway that's kinda steep, and she's never gone to the gone down the driveway. It's a pretty long driveway that's kind of steep. And she's never gone to the bottom of the driveway. However, the other day, we've got some guys

doing some work on the house, like redoing a bathroom, and they were, they had their truck down at the bottom of the hill down the driveway. They didn't drive up the driveway. And the guy was walking down the driveway and Barbara just followed him and got all the way down, he didn't know that she was following him and she got all the way to the bottom.

And then at that point, I went outside and called her back up and she came back up but at that moment, there was like a look in her eyes which was like, there's a whole world beyond this. And it scared me a little bit but I didn't say anything about it. I didn't mention it to Jesse. Well what Jesse did. Sound like Jim Carrey at the edge of that bubble.

Yep. I haven't seen the movie, but I kinda know what it's about. The Truman Show, excellent movie. Highly recommend it. You don't think so? No, I was laughing because he had never seen it. I was laughing because he had never seen it. I was laughing because he had never seen it.

I've seen things. Anyway, so Jesse was taking something to the car, left the door open, went back inside, shut the door, and it was in that little window that somehow Barbara had slipped out, gone down the driveway, gone down the road. Walked across an intersection. Now, we live in a suburban area,

so it's not like she went across a busy intersection, but she went across an intersection that was not a four-way stop. I'll put it to you this way. There aren't painted lines on the road in your neighborhood. Right. But there are intersections. She could easily be run over by someone who wasn't paying attention.

And so the story that the woman told was, she said, we were. That's a long ways away in my mind, her having never left the house. A few houses down, I mean, six houses down. They're like two houses down, then across the street, then a couple of houses up. She said, we were driving on the road

and we saw her walking, I don't know if she was on, I think she was walking on the side of the road and we stopped, she's not supposed to be alone, she's not a coyote, which incidentally, there are coyotes in our neighborhood on the reg and so being out for that long means that she could have been snatched up really quickly. Oh yeah.

It isn't just getting run over, it's coyotes, like easily could happen. I see it all the time. Walking on the street, yeah. And so she, the woman says, we saw her, we stopped the car, we opened the door, and she ran and jumped in the car. She's like, you can take me somewhere faster.

So that is Barbara in a nutshell, which is Stranger Opens Door. It's like the complete opposite of what we were told to do in the 80s when it comes to strangers. Stranger Opens Door, jump in the car. And the thing is is that she loves people so much and she loves strangers. The fresher you are,

the newer you are to her, the more she loves you. And which I love that about her, but she's a liability and now she understands there's a whole world of people out there, she doesn't know about the coyotes, I can't tell her about the coyotes. If you walk far enough, cars stop, open doors and then you can go anywhere. Right.

Like cars lead to planes, lead to like rockets. Who knows where she could go? And first of all, thankfully, we have Jessie's phone number on her collar, which if you don't have your phone number on your dog's collar, put it on there. That's a hot tip. Because even if you chip them.

Who's gonna scan a chip? Like people, like, there's a delay in that. You don't know if people are actually gonna do it. What are they gonna do with your dog? Put your phone number on the frickin' dog. Also get a will. If we're onto things that like you. A dog will?

Obviously know what you should be doing it but you just haven't gotten around to doing it. But like what, Barbara's gonna leave to us if she dies? If you're a human without a will, you should have one. I think everything that Barbara owns just defaults to us. I'm talking about humans now. Oh, okay. The remainder of Barbara's dog food

goes into a blind trust. Also like. And then we have to figure out what to do with it. Clean your gutters, you know? You'll feel better. So that was my close call with Barbara. I wanna hear your close call with Jade and then we can talk about what we would do

if the unthinkable happened. I decided to get out, do a little hike. Me and Christy went for a little hike. It was gonna be like a one hour thing. So I took Jade, I don't take Jade, I took Jade on a couple of big hikes, but now I've started to feel a little guilty about that because she's so small and she's not that active.

Yeah. But a small hike like this, I'll still take her on. And we're walking in some, I mean, this is like in a wilderness park area and dirt trails and whatnot and there are signs to watch out for rattlesnakes so I was very vigilant and we walk out and there's this watershed place where they've got these dams built up

that then the water will run and then kind of go trickle over it but if there's a downpour down the slope, it won't just erode a whole bunch of stuff. It's to prevent the mudslide, yeah. But you can walk out on these dams and I walked out on one of these, I have Jade on a leash, Christy's behind me. Do not have her on a leash.

She maybe should have me on a leash. But she didn't this time. Never any time, you guys don't do the leash thing? Not in parks. So we're out on the dam and as I walk out there, I see some nomad rattlesnakes but I see some bees like coming out and buzzing around. And where there are bees.

There's honey. Yeah. What, what were you gonna say? Rattlesnakes but yeah, honey, that's the same. Yeah, it's more, correct. I wasn't thinking about honey, I wasn't thinking about bees. I'm like yeah there's bees, you know I'm not afraid of bees. You get real skittish around bees.

Christy gets kinda skittish. Yeah. She's like there's bees, I was like yeah, I think there must be a hive down there. And like they were like buzzing around at my feet and like going around my ankles. It never registered to me that every time Jade sees a house fly in our house It never registered to me that every time Jade sees

a house fly in our house or like one of those little big mosquitoes, it's her life mission to get it until she's gotten it. Like she will, that's the most active I see her is when she's like hunting a house fly. Other than that, she just sits in my lap like she's doing right now. Didn't cross my mind until she starts snapping at some bees

and then she's like shaking her head and like batting her face. I'm like oh she got stung, we need to get off this ledge. I'm like how stupid can you be? Put my dog in harm's way. So I like take the dog over there and say yeah, I think she got stung on the snout. But they weren't Africanized.

They weren't like. I didn't ask them. But they weren't aggressive. They weren't aggressive because they were like, they were buzzing around my legs and they weren't, just like a normal bee. They weren't aggressive. Because that is. But when she snapped at the bee,

then one stung her, I believe, on her snout. But that is one thing you, when you're hiking in Southern California, you really have to be vigilant about. That's even better. But if you're in a village, you could be vigilant. Right. Yeah, I'm not thinking, I'm like, talk about ignorance is bliss, I guess that's me on a hike,

but I was looking for rattlesnakes and that took all of my energy. No, but I'm saying, you gotta be prepared, like do not aggravate or go close to, once you see bees, go away because they could be Africanized. Bonehead move them apart. And you're in trouble, they'll chase you for like a mile. Bees didn't chase us but a few of them

were swarming around Jade and she might've got stung twice but definitely once on the snout and then we're, so we walk off the thing and then we're gonna walk up the path a little bit more because I'm like, I wasn't thinking that much of it. It's like oh she got stung by a bee. So we walk off the thing and then we're gonna walk up the path a little bit more, because I'm like, yeah. I wasn't thinking that much of it. It's like, oh, she got stung by a bee. If I got stung by a bee, I would keep hiking. And then she lays down.

I'm like, this isn't good. She never lays down on a hike. We put some water down, she drank a lot of water, and then like, come on, let's go. And then she like, she would not keep walking and like, I started to get concerned, Chrissy's already concerned, you know, she's got that, she's got good intuition.

She's like, yeah, this isn't good, pick her up and I like pick her up, she's very floppy and like just putting her head down, like I started to feel horrible that I let her to this bee patch. They're like strawberries, I guess. And then I'm like, Chris is like, let's turn around. I mean, we gotta get back to the car.

She might need treatment. And we walk a little bit and I put her down and this had been like five minutes since she was stung, we had decided to turn around and she threw up. And then I'm like, she could be having an allergic reaction. Is there any swelling? There was no visual of swelling on the snout or anywhere. Just lethargy, vomiting and floppiness.

And I'm starting to get scared but I'm kinda in denial. I'm like, I don't wanna think the worst here that that like but Chrissy's like her throat can swell up, you know, she could die. If she's having an allergic reaction. So we're walking down, we're like calling the vet and googling as we're like walking. I'm like carrying her like a, she's like a lifeless little furball

and we're getting scared and like they they said well the vet's in surgery and Chris is like well can you recommend somewhere else that we can go? There was another vet that we used to go to in town and she's like we'll call them and it's like no, they're in surgery as well. I'm like dang, vets like to do this afternoon surgery. That's where the big money's at.

The vet agreed to come out of surgery and take a look so we took her there and then they, you know, the stinger, if it stays in there, can continue to pump venom even after the bee's gone away. So I learned that you should try to get rid of the stinger but it wasn't there. I think she batted it away initially but she was having an allergic reaction

because she, but the way she was acting and vomiting. And they gave her Benadryl and just told her she's gonna be really sleepy. And it was like, there was no sign of swelling. So they were like, are you sure she was stung by a bee? We're like, yes, definitely. But I didn't allow myself to believe that this could be like a life or death situation,

but I was certainly hiking very fast back down to the car to get her over there, so it was pretty scary. But they put us at ease and having talked to the vet and then she was just very lethargic for the next 24 hours because of the Benadryl, but everything's fine now. She's eating and drinking fine, and she's, look, she's right here. But she has a specific allergy to bees.

Or this would happen to any dog of her size? No, they said it was an allergy for her to react that way. I love you too. She gave me a kiss. She's still a little, you know, it's been like 48 hours. She's still a little, it's been like 48 hours, she's still a little bit mopey, but she's kinda mopey anyway. Look at her.

She seems embarrassed. It wasn't your fault, baby, it was my fault. I shouldn't have led you into that patch of bees. Should've known better. And then, but you talk about hot tip, he said, where did you go? And we told the vet and he said, well, you need to come back and get a rattlesnake venom vaccine.

Which I was like, I didn't know this existed. And they were like, yes, rattlesnakes are really bad. There's a lot more rain in LA now. They're coming out, like dogs are coming in from dog parks, getting bit by rattlesnakes in dog parks and dying. Hold on, you can get a rattlesnake. A rattlesnake vaccine. Can I get one?

He said that, well, he's a vet, he doesn't give it to humans. I didn't ask that question so I don't know the answer but he said that it doesn't, all it does is gain you time, like an hour, to get them to a vet. That's what the vaccine does. So if you're in an area with rattlesnakes, there is such a thing as a rattlesnake vaccine

and it gains them precious time to get them to a vet. I'm talking an hour. Because their bodies can't take it. If a small dog gets bit by a rattlesnake. I'm just not gonna take her out anymore. I think it kind of. Keep her in a bubble, man, keep her in a bubble. I mean it's a little different than a child.

You know it's like our children, you gotta let them out into the world and educate them about. Because they gotta take care of themselves. The rattlesnakes and like make their own placement. Like you're gonna take care of her. You can baby her all you want. That's right, that's why I walk her up and down the stairs,

I put her in the bed, I take her out of the bed. She'll jump out of the bed now and she'll beg for water in the middle of the night. Right. And so I start putting water in our bathroom upstairs because I live in a huge freaking mansion. Yeah, it takes forever to get across. It's a long ways down there to shoes.

Right, gotta get across it. And water. Was that the same podcast? Are we still in the same podcast? I mean one might argue that I should encourage Barbara to go out on her own and go and be with another family because she's gonna have to do that one day but she's not gonna do that one day.

But she is gonna die. I just, I would have been. After she lives her very long life. I thought about, I mean I love Jade so much, I think I've said this, I frequently, in like my most tender moments of snuggling, I just instinctively think about when she's gone because it's like 15 years, maybe less,

I mean if I'm lucky, she's gonna pass on. She's gonna go to doggy heaven or hell. She may go to doggy hell. I don't know what the criteria is for these decisions. Yours is definitely going to hell. But she's so lazy. She's mean though, she's mean. She's mean to other people. Not to me.

Barbara's very nice to other people. She's going to doggy hell. It's not like the woman who picked her up wasn't a literal angel or God. It was just a neighbor of yours. She hasn't, that woman has no bearing on whether your dog goes to heaven or hell, but I find myself thinking.

You haven't lost a dog as an adult, I have. Because you haven't had a dog until. If Jay would have died from the honeybee, I would, I literally thought when we got her back home, I was like, if that would have happened, I would have been out of commission for at least, I mean, a solid week of I'm not leaving the house, I'm not.

I don't believe that. I think you would be in mourning for a long time but I don't think you would be like I can't come into work for a week. I think you probably wouldn't. That's what I thought, that's what I feel. I'm not saying it would be easy. I do think you're right that I would say

I gotta get out of here, I gotta try to. Now in the book of mythicality, I talk extensively about this, about the McLaughlin family dog curse and how. Right. Growing up we had two dogs run away and then as an adult I've had two dogs die and then we went for well over a decade

without having a dog because of this curse. Now Barbara, a few things about Barbara. Number one, she's been around significantly longer than any other dog and she's only been around for like three years or so. Our relationship with her is way different and better than the relationship that we had with the other dogs.

I mean, Merle, our first dog as a couple, died in the other dogs. I mean, Merle, our first dog as a couple, died in the first year. And then Gypsy, our second dog who, no, maybe it was the other way around. Gypsy was the first dog. She was a rescue that I literally found on the side of the road and rescued and kept. Because she didn't have her owner's number.

I couldn't call her an owner's number so I just kept it for myself. No, but she was like an abandoned puppy in the woods. And she made it like a year and then died. And when she died, Jessie was pregnant at the time and when she died that night, she died at the beach. She ran over at the beach.

And we just sat and laid in the bed and cried. And then the rest of the trip was kinda clouded by this. And then there would be times over the next couple months where we would think about her. I would think about her and I would get sad, maybe almost cry or like get teary eyed. And how was the quality of relationship that you had with Gypsy compared to Barbara now?

Not even close. Right. So. Because I think you approach dogs differently. There's all kinds of things that are different. Like it's been a longer period of time. Barbara is a, she's a special dog. She is a special dog.

Like she's the most affectionate dog I've ever met. And like, you know, we have our stretch and snuggle time in the morning. Right, right. I get on my back and do my stretches and she snuggles with me. And then she, of course, our kids. I didn't observe, I don't recall observing a connection

like you have with Barbara that, and I think. It would be devastating. I think there's a tropish stage of life thing that like. For sure. That dads go through. For sure, I never had a daughter. My only daughter is Barbara. Okay. But, and I never had a daughter. My only daughter is Barbara. Okay. But, and I think.

And that was difficult, but you know how much more difficult it's gonna be if Barbara passes. It would be devastating. But, and listen, there is no comparison, in my mind, there's absolutely no comparison. Obviously losing a child would be, like that's the worst thing that can happen. Everybody, I can't imagine anything worse than that.

That is the worst thing that could happen to you. And they're not even, I don't think they're in the same ballpark by any means. Because with a dog, you kinda know, this dog is, like you said, Jade's existence and Barbara's existence in your family has reached a stasis that it will basically be at until she starts to get older and feebler,

but she's pretty much who she's gonna be. She's fully expressed and she's gonna live a maximum of something teen years. Right. And you know that that's gonna happen. So if it happens earlier, it would be devastating, but it's still not a drastic upheaval in what you're planning for your dog

in the way that you plan for another human in your life. And so I think that there's a period of mourning, but then you're kinda like, okay, I'm gonna get another dog. I don't wanna downplay that the morning, but I do think that, I'm interested in feedback, so hashtag Ear Biscuits, but I think, and I may have mentioned this,

there are times that I think about getting a second dog, and I do think that that's part of, I'm interested in that being part of the strategy. If at a certain point in introducing a second dog, so there's like overlap, there can be overlap. So it's like, you know, if Jade's, I don't know, nine, not too old, not like, okay, I got like a year or something, I gotta try to have more of an overlap than that.

I kinda feel like that would help a little. Well we could be, but I could be totally wrong. I've never been through this and I know. I think it does help because we've got friends who have, who had dogs that were, I think, weren't Max and Ruby brother and sister? Yeah. And our friend Nick had two dogs that like, they were, he was very attached to. Yeah. And our friend Nick had two dogs that like they were,

he's very attached to. Yeah. And he lost one. He ended up, they lost both eventually. I mean losing the second one, I don't know, I'd have to ask him what was worse. No but I definitely think that it, being able to be like, we still got a dog.

To go from having a dog to having no dogs, I think would be, or a pet, you know, obviously this also applies to cats, those of you who can make those kinds of emotional connections to cats. The same thing applies. In fact, my son, Very magnanimous of you.

My son has a friend whose cat recently died and he had, and like it was, you know, it was a cat had, it was a, the cat had been around for a very long time and they, the family had a very difficult time. Lincoln had a friend who came to school talking about how his dog died and everyone was sad and like Lincoln cried for his friend.

And then it turns out the dude was joking. And then a few weeks later, his dog actually died. Well yeah, that's what happens to you. Joke about your dog dying is gonna happen. Just like you said, manifest. Yeah, you manifested it. Full circle, that was still this podcast. Yeah.

We've been on quite a journey, Rhett. Why he cried for a friend, that is a high level of empathy. I'm, yeah. Hold on, in what context? I'm crying right now. He talked about the dog dying and he just started crying in front of him or later? Like he teared up.

That's unusual. It's not unusual for Lincoln, I just think that's just, given his connection with Jade. I'm not saying it's unusual, I'm saying it's unusual for a teenage boy to be told about someone else's dog dying and then cry. I'm saying as a father of a teenage boy who knows a lot of teenage boys, I'd say that's unusual.

I'm saying it's a good thing, but it's not normal. It's good, it's like a, you would want other kids to have that level of empathy. Yeah, I'm glad he did it, especially just so his friend could turn on a stamp on it and say he was just joking. Yeah, I'll never cry for your dog again, jerk. I did ask him, so when his dog really did die, did you? He laughed, naturally.

Yeah, it's like assuming that he's joking. It's like, and I can have a dark sense of humor, so I reserve the right to joke about Jay dying. That doesn't, you know. And again, and I think that's okay. I think it's okay and I think it demonstrates. I think it maybe is part of my coping mechanism. It might be a coping mechanism,

but it also demonstrates that there's a fundamental difference between a relationship with an animal and a relationship with a human. I could joke about anybody dying and then feel the, you know, it's like, I'm not gonna do it currently, but like, I joke about death. But I think it puts it in its place. But there are lots of people who talk about their,

people who don't have children who have pets. I guess I'm taking up for Lincoln's friend, I don't know. No, there are people who don't have children but have pets and sometimes we'll start talking to people who have children and talking about their pets as if they're children, as if they can relate to having children because they have a pet,

pets and children ain't nearly the same thing. But you can get an inkling of that. I mean, I'm not gonna say that there's not some. No, you can't. Yes, you can. I highly disagree. Having a child and having a pet are not in the same ballpark. Being, okay, you're responsible for another being.

Yes, that's true, but. I'm not minimizing what happens if you've got a pet. I'm saying, what you're saying is true, except that there is a connection. I think you can lose something precious to you that's not even living and it's in some, I wouldn't then access that conversationally with someone who's lost a child.

I'm not saying that, I'm not minimizing, what I'm saying is that for those people, this is unrelated to the thing dying. What I'm saying is, is if you're in a conversation with somebody who's got, you're like man, I had to, you know, it was kind of crazy, like my son just went through a really difficult time at school with blah blah blah

and they're like yeah, my dog has hip dysplasia. It's like they're not in the same, okay, I'm not saying that's easy, but it's not like having a child go through something. It's different, man. As someone who's got children and pets, it's different. All I'm saying is that I think people who don't have kids can then, they can access empathy through an experience

that they have of loving a pet. Yeah, I don't have a daughter. Like I said, I'm the one who said a second ago that Barbara's my daughter. I tell her she could be anything she wants to be. She's gonna go to doggy college. She's gonna have a great doggy career. Are you going to, what do you think about the overlap

in order to prepare, you know? It's not worth it. I don't want to deal with two dogs. Plain and simple. Barbara is, she's attached to humans. Well that's not a problem. You've got three kids, you didn't divide the love between them.

Yeah I did. I'm not, no I did. No, I don't know the answer to that. When we travel and figuring out what to do, it's like if we're gonna take them on a walk, like adding an extra dog into the mix, it's the same reason I've only got two kids and not three. So I wanna minimize that. I want to enjoy the benefits of having a pet.

And then start over afterwards. And then yeah. And maybe take a relatively long break before the next one. I don't know. Well. Depends on what stage of life I'm in. I think that makes me think that maybe I should just, I shouldn't get another dog in order to not go through

the pain of losing one. You should get another dog if you want not go through the pain of losing one. You should get another dog if you want another dog. Yeah. Period. Yeah, you shouldn't use a dog as a death bridge. And some people think you should get another dog depending on the breed for the companionship of the dog. Like I said, our dogs, neither one of them need that. That's clear.

Yeah. They have plenty. Our dogs do not know that they're dogs. So getting another dog would be like, what is this dog doing here? You know? Why did you get a dog? Did you get me a dog?

What made you guys think that we needed a dog? It's what our dogs would say. That's almost like when you said that, I pictured a meme of Barbara with another dog. Yeah, there's a good meme in there somewhere. Yeah, it's like, it's funny. Somebody do that, make a meme. But given the time that we've taken,

we need to hear your rec. Oh my gosh, my rec is, I looked for an app to catalog my record collection on my phone because now that I'm back in the collection mode, I wanna know what that was. And I went around to a bunch of like cute different apps and then I came back to the one that everyone talks about on the vinyl Reddit thread and that's Discogs,

which is kind of a marketplace for buying and selling of records, but I just use it to carry my record collection with me at all times. See look, I can just scroll, well I guess the pictures don't show up if you're in airport mode, but the pictures usually show up. And sometimes when I get bored and I wanna feel good about myself, I look at my record collection,

I just kinda like scroll it. Can you click on that? It boosts my chi. Can you click on that and would this be sacrilegious? I don't even know what that means. If you clicked on that and you could play them on your phone, like the digital version of those songs? Or does that go against the whole point?

I think you're describing Spotify? No, it cannot do that. No, but if you wanted to be like, oh, this is my record collection. This is the songs that I own. Oh, I want you to hear this song, but we're not currently at my record player. That feels like you should, I mean yeah,

you could just go one app over but if you wanna experience the album as intended. Look at that. Yeah you can't do that. But you can make a wish list and then you can buy other albums. How often do you listen to your record player? I'm trying to do it more often now that I got these records.

Because every time I come over to your house, you're just playing Spotify. Yeah, because it goes throughout the whole house. It's a different, you have to have a listening session. It's like it takes discipline and a little bit of planning and then I'll do it when I'm drinking coffee on a weekend morning. And I've started trying to do it,

like sometimes during dinner we'll play like a record but then in the middle of it I gotta get up and flip the record. But all of that's. You need a jute box. All of that jute box, all of that's part of it. And it's like the negative, the things that you can point out is negative aspects of record listening.

I'm just trying to, I think you can make them positives. It's not about the convenience, it's about the art. And if you just wanna get a little boost, even when you're apart from your record collection, you can get Discogs. And if you're doing some crate digging, you won't buy doubles. Do you feel a noticeable, tangible difference

between the vinyl songs and the digital songs? Nope, and red wine is red wine. But I know, I aspire to be able to have an opinion on red wine and I kind of, and I actually did do an AB test. I mean, yes, it sounds different. If you walked into the room, you would know which one was which.

I think I would, yeah. Yeah, on the same speakers. Because you'd see the record spinning and you would tell. Yeah, you would know which one was which. I think I would, yeah. Yeah, on the same speakers. Because you'd see the record spinning and you would tell. Yeah, you can tell a difference. You can tell a difference. But I mean, I think being able to tell the difference is, I'm not gonna say that makes me a cooler, better person,

but I am kind of implying that. Do you listen to records and drink red wine at the same time? I haven't. I should. But you can be drinking barefoot wines. Charles, I was gonna say Charles Schwab. What's two buck Chuck, Charles what?

Charles, Chuck, I don't know. It's the cheapest wine you can get. I thought when you said barefoot, I thought you literally were talking about because my feet were so sweaty from wearing shoes all day without socks. Drinking barefoot wine, listening to. Yeah.

Something barefoot. Barefoot Mountain Boys. Bare Naked Ladies. Charles Shaw. Charles Shaw. That's my rec, get some Charles Shaw. Get your records, discogs. Hashtag air biscuits.

Thanks for letting us shoot the breeze with you. Yeah, don't give us any crap about waiting so late to answer the question, okay? And don't give Rhett any crap about the thing about his phone. That's right. The thing I didn't tell you is that the replacement phone that I got is messed up.

Not because I put it in water, because I'm not doing that again, because- Why are you not doing that again? Well, the way insurance works is they give you a refurbished phone. Now everything about it seems completely normal and new. Like you see that screen, there's not a scratch on it. The face ID will not activate,

which is a problem that is usually a hardware problem. So every time you look at your phone to try to get it to activate, you think about that moment when you told me, I've got this. And I'm gonna have to do it again. Oh, trust me, you don't have to say anything. This is one of those situations where I learned my lesson

without you having to say anything at all. Well, now that you've said that. You just couldn't resist. Now that you've said that, I can let it go. We'll keep resisting.