Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 204: What Happened In Thailand And The UK? | Ear Biscuits Ep. 204

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

From an incident with Rhett's mom to digestive dilemmas to driving on the wrong side of the road and more, R&L come back from their summer vacations with many tales to tell. To find out what happened, listen to part one of this two-part series on this week's episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are asking the question, what happened in Thailand and the UK? And we should know, because we were there.

Yes, and this is a- For the past two weeks, we were on vacation. And as is normal, we haven't talked to each other in any great detail about what we did because we wanted to save it for this. And I would say these are as extensive as any vacations we've ever been on. And as a result, we gotta talk about both of them.

We're actually gonna do this over the course of two episodes. Let's make it a six-parter. Over the next six weeks. And I wanna be clear. Rhett and Link slowly and painfully unravel their vacation. We probably could do that,

but we're not gonna do that. And we're doing it as two parts, not because we're trying to milk as much as we can, but how can I put this? Something happened on my vacation, the Scotland part, with my mom, that deserves. I don't wanna, I don't know exactly what happened,

but I don't want to short circuit or cut short that tale. It deserves its own place, its own story. It was bad, what happened wasn't good. No it wasn't. You seem like you're, but. Well I mean this is a teaser. Okay. And this is for, not this episode, sorry.

This is for the next episode. This is for teaser. Okay. And this is for, not this episode, sorry. This is for the next episode. This is for the next episode. So I don't know how far we're gonna get with your vacation, my vacation, and I don't want the second episode to just be about what happened to my mom because I'm sure there'll be stuff that you still wanna talk about,

stuff that I wanna talk about. Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying that we're saving that story for the second one and we're gonna just kinda cover what happened and explore. And we'll bop back and forth. And I got notes, man. With all the stuff that happened on our vacations. I have notes every once in a while but.

I have notes. This is, I'm gonna be like referencing my notes because there's. Dang, weren't you there? Yeah, but so many things happened. Okay, well let me just quickly, I'll just summarize what I did. Okay, moving your notes out so it seems like you're not, so you're off book.

No, this is my side of the table, okay? I could put up a barrier. Hey, I'm just trying to help you out, man. Don't reach across to my side of the table. I'm just trying to help you out. What happens on my side of the table is my business. And you know what, it stays on your side. Okay, yeah.

You just reached across and grabbed my notes, man. Let's put up a barrier. So we can't see each other? I mean, it's a podcast, we don't need to see each other. Except for the video version. There are some podcasts where they're like in different places in the nation or the world. Those are really awkward though.

And this isn't? As you know, I took my family, my family being my immediate family, my wife and kids, but also my brother, his wife, their four kids, and my parents. This is a long awaited and planned trip to the homeland of Scotland. And the whole idea was to spend a week in Scotland with them

which we did, going to three different places in Scotland and then we dropped them at the airport after a week and then just the California McLaughlins continued on down through the UK, stopping, into England, stopping in York and then the Cotswolds, a day in Oxford. It's so funny that all of the places that you're naming are so different sounding than all the places that I went.

Yeah, oh yeah, we had definitely opposite vacations. Yeah, it's so different. I mean, I guess I could've been in like Greenland or Antarctica or something, but, and then London, which of course we've been to and then you spent a weekend. And I've got some developed thoughts about London now. Oh yeah? So I wanna compare notes, literally compare notes

with you because you spent a week there. You went to so many places you had to look at your notes to remember even that. Well, six different lodgings in two weeks, which is a lot. Yeah, I'm excited to hear about it. You, as a McLaughlin, you went back to the McLaughlin epicenter with all the McLaughlins. Well that was the idea, yeah.

And the idea was that was supposed to be special, so I guess the big question that, don't answer now. It was very special. Oh don't answer now. It's very special. But was it? Let's find out. It was special in a particular way.

Over this and the next episode. Of course you know I'm Ty. Neil is a Ty last name. Right. So I've always wanted to go back and get in touch with my. Oh there you go, there's your motivation. My family. No I just took my immediate family.

Smart, smart. That's my wife, three children and that's it. It's a lot cheaper when you do that. I would have, oh man. Let me just say, let me just say, I spent more money more quickly than I've ever spent. Wow. I mean, it was just like,

it was like one of those cartoons where I saw like a cash register just going. That's, I kept just seeing that in my periphery. Oh man, yeah, I guess I spent some money. Is that what this is about now? Hey man, I spent money too. I'm just saying, I've been thinking about it a lot. And you know me, I don't think about money.

Yeah, yeah. But when you spend that much money, That does say a lot. you have to start thinking about it. We took the 14 hour plane ride into Hong Kong and then immediately connected to Bangkok. That was not the original plan. I'll get into that in a little bit.

Stayed in Bangkok for a number of days and then we flew to Shanghai, which is the northern mountainous territory right on the border of Thailand with Laos and Myanmar in the Golden Triangle. We stayed there for another handful of days. Elephants, jungle, well, mountains, what I'll call a jungle but it wasn't a jungle.

What was it, it was trees? It was just very. Lush vegetation? Lush vegetation. It's a jungle, It's a jungle. To me it was, but probably technically it was not. It was very nice. What is a jungle technically?

I don't know, because I didn't go to one I don't think. And then I flew down to Koh Samui. Koh means island. Samui is the name of that island. Koh Samui. So. Koh Samoy. So then we wrapped up our trip with just the quintessential beach front, hammock on the beach, coconut in hand, corn cob in the other hand if you follow me on Instagram.

Good decorations. Ha ha, Link Lamont! So that's how I wrapped it up. Good gracious. Ha ha, Link Lamont! So that's how I wrapped it up. Seven flights, yeah total, to get around all those places once you factor in connections. But who's counting? Oh my wife is definitely counting because she has a flight phobia!

And I'm not trying to make light of it, I'm just trying to do an Oprah impression. But oh man, she was a champ. She took it like a champ. It wasn't easy. When you're coming into that island, boy we took a little drop out of the sky, a little bit, shoop bop!

It's like a little free fall. The interesting thing about your family having someone who has a flight phobia, you've had a lot more flight issues than anyone that I know. Like if you go back through the stories of being on a tarmac forever or experiencing really crazy turbulence. Yeah, I'm the reason she has a flight fear.

I just haven't had that. I probably would be scared if I'd had a bad experience but I haven't ever had anything that I, you know, I don't wanna dwell on. Worth talking about. You know, yeah, it is my fault and you know what, she loves me enough to endure it. Well that wasn't what I was suggesting

but that's what you're internalizing so. No I'm just owning it. Okay. It's the truth. Somehow it's my fault. You're not the pilot so. Or the airline or whoever's fault it is. I don't wanna be in legal trouble here, I'll just shut up.

So yeah we skipped all around, we did lots of things. I got notes here but I don't want anybody to see them so I'm gonna keep them off camera. I just want it to seem like I remember what happened. Well you'll know when I'm referencing my notes. It's just so I can know when to say what, not when to say but what to remember. One thing I didn't do is shave.

If you would like to acknowledge my beard, I don't know if you're, I don't know if you're threatened. I don't mean to threaten you. I mean, I've already seen it, and do I look like I would be threatened by a small beard at this point? Yeah, your beard is getting large, man. Right.

That's an in-depth conversation for another time. Basically at a certain point, I'm on vacation, I'm not gonna shave, and if I skip two days with travel water and what it does to my face, it makes the hairs harder or something. What? It's harder for me to hack through my beard. And so I'm hacking it one day and I'm like, you know what?

Travel water? It's a different consistency. Well I know about that, yeah. Hard or soft, it's a little different than my home water. Well definitely, yeah. And it, I know about that. And it makes my hair on my face. But sometimes, I mean theoretically,

sometimes it would make it easier to shave. It made it harder to shave. I'm saying in practice. So this particular travel water. My razor got clogged up. So you just say Thai water. I didn't have a backup. I didn't wanna put it on Thai.

No, no, I'm just saying that some water's soft, some water's hard. You know it when you go on vacation and you start lathering up and you're like, oh, the lather's different. Yep, yep. You're like, oh, travel water. I know what you mean, but.

Plus, I really just wanted to know how much gray is on my face now. Oh, well, quite a bit. Yeah. Yeah, I'm getting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're in the salt is beating the pepper at this point. It's a territory.

Is it really though? Yeah, oh yeah. Or is it just the lighting? The salt is. I think it's 50-50. No, well, I mean, maybe overall, but definitely like in the most forward-facing part, the right here, salt is 75%.

And I remember when I first started to get facial hair, this is the place where, the place that's whitest now is the place where I first started to get facial hair. And that makes sense. That's not what happened with me because I'm getting white right here and I didn't start growing here. On the back corners of your chin, jawline.

Right here and then a little bit in the middle. Right under your lip. Which I will say that this is probably, I mean, well, the mustache is the thing that came in first for most dudes, so. My mustache is like the blackest part. And it goes down. Yeah, so your theory is not true, doesn't work.

And it's blacker right here on the corners of my mouth. Looks like I've got a horseshoe mustache with an old man growing around it. We'll discuss this in detail later. How much older do I look? 12 years. The terminal length of your hair changes based on how far it is from the center of your face.

So the terminal length of hair right in the middle of your face is the shortest. I've been watching lots of videos about beards. Well your hair looks the longest in the middle of your face. No, no, like right here. So the terminal length of your hair right there, see that? The soul patch?

I have not cut or trimmed the soul patch in 36 months. And that's the terminal length, that's as long as it's gonna get. Have you washed it? All the time. Okay good. If you're gonna wash anything, it should be a butt crack.

But if you're gonna wash two things, it should be a butt crack and then that soul patch. But it moves, it basically changes over the course of your face. I don't think that applies to the hair on your head. But you haven't researched that. Cause I don't have like really short hair right in the middle.

Well technically maybe like a widow's peak is a little short. Anyway, I learned that watching YouTube videos about beards. We're devoting two episodes to our vacation and we're going in depth about our facial hair because that's what we care most about. I can't keep this thing much longer.

It's itching the crap out of my face. Well you'll get past that, but then you'll have a white beard. I mean, I think it'd be cool. It's fine. I'll get glasses. I would just like to know. I would just, I just really wanted to know, and now I do. Yeah.

I'm gonna shave this stuff off. I think when we're done with this podcast, I'm gonna shave it off. Oh, how's the water here? That's my kind of joke, man. That's my kind of joke. That's a very dad joke. Yeah, it's not really, it's not really a joke. No, but it kinda is.

It's a quip. It was pretty good. It's a quip, not a sponsor. Speaking of which. Occasionally a sponsor, yeah. Let's get into sponsors, man, just to get that over with. Okay. Wherever you're going, you better believe

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Edinburgh. Edinburgh. That's how you say it? Well, that's how I say it. Okay, tell me about it. Which interestingly is, Jesse raised an interesting question while we were traveling throughout the UK, Scotland and England.

United Kingdom. Everyone in our group, me included, had this tendency to, when we were not around locals, as we were talking amongst ourselves, we would go into our best accents of the region, right? So obviously that started as a Scottish thing and then by the time we were just with our family in England, we were like trying to change

the way that we talked. And Jesse, and I'm not gonna attempt to do it because it's not good, I don't have, it will sound stupid. Not that I'm unwilling to do stupid things but. Do it, it's okay if you do it, right? Aye, aye, you've got to have some words that you go to. Words, words, is that the word that you go to, word?

It helps when, what happens is you'll be in a conversation with a local person and then they'll walk away and then you'll start talking, you'll immediately start talking like them because you just had this interaction with him. And Jesse was like, do people do this when they come to America and we just don't know it? Well.

Are Americans the worst at this thing? Now first of all, I will also say that for good reasons, there are certain places that if you were to do that, it would just be immediately labeled as racist, right? Like for instance, if you- Well, I did it in Thailand. Every time somebody, no, I did not do it. You did not do it in Thailand.

And I'm not about to do it because it would be right. But I'm- Right? Right, and I don't want to explore the whys of what that is necessarily, but it seems pretty obvious that me as a McLaughlin going back to quote unquote my people, I can go back and I can try to sound like them, whatever, there are still some groups you can make fun of, I think Scottish and English people are still two of them.

So but Jessie was like. But someone from Thailand, someone with a Thai accent, I would like to hear them do a Scottish accent. Well that's an interesting point, that's not what I'm. I'm talking about. Is it wrong for me to say that? I'm talking about the phenomenon of Americans talking in the British or Scottish accent,

the English or Scottish accent, when they're in those places and then do people from Scotland and England when they come to America start talking like, hey guys, you know when like our friend Jaden from Australia does his American accent and he always goes into this character. Which has got to be how they perceive us and we go into a character.

You don't seem like a Scottish person, you seem like a character. Like a cartoon. Like a character that would be in some play. You know, aye! You know? It was just an interesting question because I think that we're probably the worst at doing that.

Maybe not though. I mean, I know for a fact that many people that I interact with, like acquaintances or less, not friends, in Los Angeles, I will be having a conversation, people come into the office who we don't know, and it'll be for a meeting, and I know for a fact that over the course of the conversation,

they will start to adopt a southern accent and some people will go farther than others. Yeah, it happens with southern accents all the time. It will seem like an impression. This happens with you? Yes. This happens with our wives a lot more than it happens with us.

But I notice that people are doing it and I think, do they think that I've been doing an accent for comedic effect at times? And then they start doing it for comedic effect. I think it's just a natural, I feel like this is a slightly different. But again, these are mostly Americans that I'm interacting with and I'm the victim.

I feel like that's affecting your accent a little bit to be even more relatable, which I understand that and have probably done that. But this is more like arguing with each other about who does the best Scottish accent. You know, like 12 Americans going around doing horrible Scottish accents and trying to say who's doing a better one.

Like that is, I believe that's an American phenomenon. I don't think that 12 Scottish people come to America sit around. Maybe they do, let me know if I'm wrong. You're assuming the worst, let's hope for the best. Yeah, so we started in Edinburgh and then we, you know, we had limit, the way that I kept characterizing the entire vacation was,

this is a sampler platter of everywhere, of Scotland and then of England, because any particular place that we were at, we could have stayed for much longer. And I think that the thing that kind of wore on me, and even though I tried to prepare myself for this, was I felt responsible for the enjoyment of the entire group, right?

This was my idea. This was your idea. This was my idea, I'm paying for it. Cha-ching. And I will say big, big thanks to Jenna for being very involved in the planning of this. In fact, there was a runner that people would do something like we'd have a good meal and then my dad would be like,

"'Thanks, Jenna." Even though she wasn't there. Yeah, right. You didn't invite her to come, you just. Right, and she was also instrumental in planning your vacation too. So a lot of the specific choices about, oh, this is where we're going to be

was based on her research and her kind of planning that out. Are you setting her up to blame her for whatever the crap happened to your mom? No, no, because that in particular was all my idea. Like that whole thing, where that happened. Okay, good. No, but I'm saying that- Great actually.

Even though I had someone to help us make the decisions about what we were going to do, I still felt like- Oh, it's on you. It was all on me. And so I tried to be very- If it goes good, it's on Jenna, if it goes bad. I try to be very strategic about, okay you got 12 people ranging in age from 10 to like 75.

It's tough what you did, man. And I told Jessie going in, I was like, I am already just committing to not enjoying this. I mean I know that sounds like a very pessimistic thing, but like I have a tendency to get really excited about vacations and always think that they're gonna be great and then they can be a little bit hard or disappointing. And so I just was like, listen, I'm not doing this

for my personal enjoyment. I'm doing it for the enjoyment of the group, which I actually think that even that was unhealthy. I should have gone in with very little attachment to outcome. But, and let me just say, apart from that thing that happened to my mom, which I'll talk about, it was an incredible vacation. It was great.

But there was this constant pressure of, we've got to go to so many places. There's this sense of FOMO in every place that we went. And then this like, okay, I've gotta start planning, okay, I have to tell the group that we need to be out the door at 8.30 because we really need to be out the door at nine. Mm-hmm.

You know, like I had to start kind of adjusting to the way that the group was going to behave. Did you carry around a pole with like a flag on the end that like had the McLaughlin standard? We didn't all wear the same neon t-shirts. It wasn't a family reunion. How did everybody stay together? Were you leashed? I don't even know.

We didn't even do a buddy system. Just nobody got lost as far as I know. So give me a rundown of day one, if you're rattling through this thing. What's the first thing you did? Okay, well, so the first thing I did, we met in JFK, like they flew from North Carolina. I'm not really interested in the airport stuff.

Well, you're gonna understand this is relevant. I'm not just trying to start from the beginning. I made the decision to get first class tickets for the adults in the group. Now there's six adults in this group. First class international tickets are expensive. But I decided to do this because I was like, we're gonna fly overnight on Friday night.

And I want my parents especially to be able to sleep because getting a good night's rest helps so much with that adjustment to the time change. They didn't sleep at all. Like my mom may have slept for like 30 minutes even though we had these like lay down seats. It was like she just couldn't get comfortable. So right out the gate, I felt a little bit like a failure.

I was like, and also it was like, I saw that cash register. I was like, whoa, that was for nothing. Yeah. You know. Did you go over and like lay her seat down, tuck her in? register, I was like, woo, that was for nothing. Yeah. You know. Did you go over and like lay her seat down, tuck her in? Nope. I'd have tucked my mom in tight.

That's the flight attendant's job, or at least my dad's. But yeah, so they didn't really sleep, neither of them slept very well. Sounds like a lot of people failed. And so we get there, because my idea was like you sleep and then you get there and then we're gonna like immediately

Bagpipes. Go do, yeah, play bagpipes. Find the nearest bagpipe, start squeezing on it. Right. Begin experiencing the city, which we kind of had to do because you couldn't get to your room until like three o'clock, which I think we ended up getting into one room

at like 1 p.m. Anyway, so the first day, first of all, it's just raining. Just like just torrential raining at times. What is it rain there? Is it like, is it? Water? Like whiskey? Travel water.

What do they drink? I don't know but I did see something that said today's rain is tomorrow's whiskey. I saw that a lot of different places. Well, you had tomorrow's whiskey a day early. They make the whiskey out of rain? But so I was like, and then I looked at the forecast and for both Scotland and England,

like if you just look at like your quick weather app on the phone, it was a rain cloud. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Every single day, every single day. And I was like, okay. You're on a downward spiral emotionally, it sounds like. Well, and I immediately was just kinda overcome with this, we gotta see everything.

Now I'm gonna talk pretty extensively about the driving because that was a thing but let me throw it back over to you because that was kinda my mindset going in was this weight of responsibility. I just need to know, do bagpipes happen at any point? Just yes or no? Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah.

I could not have done what you did with planning for that many people. I mean, you know, I mean, based on my report from London when it was just me, Christy and Lily, like I was a wreck on the train platform. I don't wanna rehash that but like, I mean I thought about just like having a lottery about who was gonna go with me on this trip

just to keep it so I could have a good time. Just logistically, I love my entire family equally. You know we're planning this thing. We were gonna go to Hong Kong for a few days, Bangkok for a few days and then Chiang Rai and Koh Samui, but then Christy and I made the collective decision to simplify and spend more time in less places. So we cut out Bangkok, and we were just gonna stay

in Hong Kong, because you have to fly into Hong Kong anyway. But then there's so much political unrest in Hong Kong, there had, for weeks there had been protests and since it's gotten even more dire, you've seen it in the news, sit-ins at the airport, protests all throughout the city with Hong Kongers basically. Is that the correct term? Yeah, that's, yeah. Okay. with Hong Kongers basically.

Is that the correct term? Yeah, that's, yeah. Okay. That's what's all over Twitter. I just thought you made it up. Nope, yeah. Really? Yeah, Hong Kongers.

How about Hong Kongians? Just stay out of it. I mean, I just feel like I should help. I should help. Okay, well then stay in a Scottish accent. Hong Kongers. Oh gosh. That worked. I think it was two days.

It might have been 24 hours before we were leaving. I don't know exactly, but it was, we were packing and we make the decision, there's people getting beat up, protesters are getting beat up on the streets of Hong Kong. Yeah, Hong Kongers, yeah. A few days before this. So we made the decision to not stay in Hong Kong at all.

I had done all this research for Hong Kong. Oh, and it's- All of this reading. An amazing city. You were excited, I know, because that was like Jessie's favorite place that she went when she was over there. And then we decided, last minute, we canceled all of that and just booked a hotel in Bangkok

and started finding things to do in Bangkok like as we were packing to go to, not Hong Kong anymore. Turns out we didn't have to pack anything different though. So I didn't have to change that. But right off the bat, like I'm discombobulated big time. I'm in a totally different city than I'm gonna be in. But we get to Bangkok and we were told from friends who had been there that Bangkok is really overwhelming

and there's a river that runs through the middle of it and our hotel was on the river and we were told you can do a lot of river taxis as opposed to just doing street taxis because the transportation is, the streets are just really crazy. So the more you can just travel on the river, the better. I'm like, well that sounds fun anyway.

So we get there and it's late at night so we check into the hotel and we go to sleep. We get up the next morning and we're like, all right, let's do some exploring. Day one we're just gonna kinda, we're gonna get on this river taxi, we're gonna go up the river or down the river, I don't know which way.

We're gonna get off over here where the concierge told us that we could walk around and we're just gonna start walking around. It was so hot there. I mean, we had just spent a few days in North Carolina the week before filming some stuff and it was more torturous than that in terms of the humidity. I mean, it was just.

Yeah, did you wear a tank top? Yeah, I was like, I wish I had a tank top. I have it, I don't have a tank top. You should've asked me, I would've told you to pack some. I don't own one, as a policy. There's a time for a tank top and I think Thailand is the place. I could've gotten one there.

Because let me tell you, they sell everything, everywhere in Bangkok. We're walking around, like the main, one of the main attractions which is the Golden Palace was closed because it was the king's birthday. There's pictures of the king everywhere. Everybody loves the king.

Do they love him or do they have to love him? It seems like they legitimately love this guy. It's effective propaganda. When his dad died, we had a tour guide for another thing that I'm gonna tell you about. We got kind of the low down on how they felt about the king and at least from her perspective, she was like,

the king and the queen are like members of our family. We have pictures of them in the house. Everyone does. And it's not something that's required. Heard that before. It's not something that's required. This is her talking. It's just how we feel about him.

And when the previous king died, for like, there was like months of mourning. He'd been the king from like being a teenager until he was like almost 90. So like everybody lived their entire lives just knowing this guy's their king and he's like on billboards everywhere. How long has the new king been the king?

A couple of years. Oh. It was his birthday, as I said. long has the new king been the king? A couple of years. It was his birthday, as I said. But when the previous king died, like all of the programming on television changed to be sadder or commemorative. And everything was changed to be in black and white for over a month. All television shows, they just like, put the black and white for over a month. All television shows, they just like,

put the black and white filter on it. If you die, do you want me to continue on with GMM in black and white for a month? Because I'll do it. Six weeks. I do not think they worship the king. Like, I didn't spend too much time digging into this, but they're 94% of the population is Buddhist, okay? They worship the king. I didn't spend too much time digging into this but. Okay well.

They're 94% of the population is Buddhist, okay? Right. So that's where their allegiance lies, okay? Right, right. But the king is in the mix, let me tell you because his pictures are everywhere. Of course the Buddha is lounging everywhere too. Everywhere you go, Buddha is kicking it.

I mean, there's Buddha sitting covered in bronze, big ones, little ones, laying down ones. I mean, Buddha will recline. Oh yeah, he will relax. He will. He doesn't have a lot of core strength either. Why are you gonna be critical of the booty? No, I'm not being critical, I'm just saying

that he's not worried about that. You know? You talking about that belly. Yeah, I like it. It's very relaxing to sit like that. You ever sat like that? Just let it all hang out? Man, I gotta look at my notes

because you threw me off, man. You threw me off talking about core strength. Now, you know, I've told you this story about, last time my dad came into Los Angeles, we were driving down the street, I was taking him back to the airport, and we passed a Thai restaurant, and the sign said, Thai food.

Right. And he said out loud, Thai food. Hmm. Yeah, he did. And so you may be wondering if you knew that story, that's the whole reason I went to Thailand. And I've come to grips with the fact that I think the answer is subconsciously absolutely yes.

Yeah why not? Because my dad said thigh food, I was like I gotta go get me some of that thigh food. So we're walking around, it's blistering hot. The palace is closed, one of the main things to see, it's like, it's a mile just to walk past the outside of the palace. What do you have on?

I have on breathable shorts, I got some walkable shoes. Okay so not open. With a nice toe box. Not open toed, no one's doing open toed. Yeah, I think Lily is, she's got some sandals on. Okay. T-shirt and other things, I think Lily is, she's got some sandals on. All right. T-shirt and other things which I'll get into later. Okay.

But people are, on the street, the streets are like Target, the streets are like Walmart. They're selling stuff everywhere, street markets. There's a flower market, it's like the second largest flower market in the world to Holland. And they're like, you go in there, it's amazing how much stuff they're making, floral arrangements that then you can take to the temples

as like, what's the word? Offering? An offering. Thailand is famous for street food. Oh yeah. You know, they're like grilling stuff everywhere. Anything you can smell and imagine smelling, you smell. Anything you can imagine hearing, you're talking honking, screaming, grunting, scraping.

You hear it all at once. You smell it all at once and you feel it. You feel everything, you feel the heat. When someone scrapes you. Sweat coming out of places that I didn't know were places on me. Right. And we walked for a long time.

Did you get some of that food, just like random, hey let's. We picked up some stuff like oh there's a stand of just a bunch of pomegranates and you can just go to get pomegranate juice for like 20 cents. Now is there any concern about. 29 baht to a dollar. So it's like oh 1,000 baht is nothing.

Going up and I mean there's a lot of places you can't just go drink the juice of the pomegranate, you'll end up with crazy diarrhea. But that's not the case here? Did you look into that or you just? I gotta get back to that too. But I'm gonna say no, not exactly. That didn't happen.

Okay. But you had checked on that. We drink bottled water but then we. But you can't do that in Mexico, for instance. Like you should put. I didn't really check on it. I just wanted some pomegranate juice. Shrug.

All right, good. It's so hot, like everybody starts, I think somebody's gonna have a heat stroke. We're just not used to this. Right. Like my family is wilting and I'm like, oh my gosh, I gotta find some AC. And they do, there's malls everywhere too,

but I was in a place where there wasn't one of these, they have these like huge indoor air conditioned malls that everybody goes to. So I tried to find one on Google and we went to this mall and it turned out to be pretty small but it was like still three stories and it kind of felt like a market kind of thing but it was in the same thing as outside but inside.

So not the type of mall that I would picture just saying the word mall. But they had a food court on the top floor. So we're up there and I'm just trying getting an iced coffee and trying to get people hydrated because it's important. Right. And I'm wondering if I'm gonna get recognized

in this land and lo and behold, about that time, this guy comes up to me. It's like, it turns out he was a local and he was like, are you from, he had a good, he spoke really good English. He didn't have that much of an accent. He was like more of a traveled guy

but he was from there originally. So I don't know if he grew up in Thailand but he lived there now and was from there. And I was like yeah, I'm him and he's like, can I get a photo and we're like, he's super nice and he was like, what are you doing here? And I'm like. Yeah, people tend to ask that. Well my dad went past, signed LA.

I was like no dude, everyone who's been to Thailand has told me it's amazing, I've gotta come and so I'm here and with my family and it's our first full day. And he's like no, why are you here in this food court? Right, yeah I understand why you're in Bangkok. It's a major travel destination. Food wasn't bad in the food court.

We recovered and then we hit the streets again and wrapped things up. So I can give you more, but what's the next thing that happened on your trip? One of the things I was a little bit worried about was the driving. As you may be aware, you drive on the left side of the road. Okay. So I'm worried about this. And it's not just that I have to drive on the left side of the road. Okay.

So I'm worried about this and it's not just that I have to drive on the left side of the road, it's that I'm driving a large van, a nine passenger, which that is key for later, van. Okay. So it was like this. Like one of those big white vans. Well it was black, it was like one of those Mercedes vans

that there's three rows of three seats, including the front seat is three rows, I mean it's three seats. Like there's a seat in the middle, we didn't ever use it. But so it's a big van driving on the left side of the road and it's already raining. And I'm also getting out at the airport so I'm not like on some country road.

It's like you're immediately in it. You're thrust. And then, of course, I'm driving one van and my brother's driving the other van. He's done this before. He's driven on the left side of the road in somewhere in the Caribbean, I don't know. Oh, in the Caribbean.

But he was also like, he said it wasn't fun and I was kinda freaked out most of the time. I would imagine you're constantly second guessing if you're in the right place, if you're going the right direction. Well, let me get to that. Oh gosh. So, and then I noticed as we go,

we go up to the woman at the rental car desk, my brother and I do, and she's like, there's a big container of wristbands, and the wristbands say, stay on the left. The same kind of like rubber wristbands that we sell. Oh wow. They say Mythical on them. You can get, so she was like, take one of those.

So I'm like, okay. That's foreboding. So I put one on my left hand and didn't wanna really confuse myself. How could that work? And then my brother is like, well no, then they're like, would you like the additional insurance? This is always a, this is a frustrating question.

I hate that question. Cause you're like, well I don't know, I don't think I need it. I think because of my own insurance. Because of my insurance and then I've got a credit card. My credit card has something. The credit card is supposed to have something. There was something on the fine print of that. Yeah, so I think I'm okay.

I think I'm okay because it's expensive. Jenna, figure that out, please. And also because of the time change, I mean, like all the people that I need, my lifeline, Jenna, is sleeping at this point because this is like the morning, right? So I'm just like, I'm just gonna go for it because I've got the credit card and my insurance

and of course, the greatest insurance policy is me as a driver. Right. Put that on the wristband. And I put that, okay so you put on the wristband. I'm surprised. Yeah I put on the wristband. Because that is shame.

No it's not, it's safety. I mean why not put like a stamp on your forehead that says dumb tourist. Well it's a wristband so it's a little more subtle than that but then I get to the car, and I will say there was a Mercedes and there was a Hyundai, and I felt bad about this, but I took the Mercedes. Because I was like, I'm paying for both the Mercedes

and the Hyundai, the least I'm gonna do is get the Mercedes. But also, I had to continue on with my family for another week, and I was like, okay. But a Mercedes van is kind of like a. There's no difference, ultimately. Mine's a little nicer. But really no difference.

So. The seats have massagers in them. And we get into the vans and then there's another, there's a large sticker on the windshield that says stay on the left. I'm like this must be a thing. This must be an important thing to remember. This must be something that people don't always remember.

If they've, you know, something had to happen before the wristbands and the sticker. You drive with your lizard brain a lot, you know? And also in that picture, in that thing on the windshield that says stay on the left is a picture of a roundabout and like how to enter and navigate a roundabout. Oh God. So I'm like, okay, roundabout.

Was there blood on the picture? I hadn't thought about it. Was there like? There's blood all over the bumper. Decaf, decaf. So I, oh, and then my brother asks the woman who's showing us to the car, she like, he sees the wristbands and the stickers and everything. Oh and then my brother asks the woman who's showing us to the car,

he sees the wristbands and the stickers and everything, he's like, so I mean, when was the last time an American had an accident with you guys? And her face was like, do you really want me to answer that? And she said, this morning? Yeah. So I was like, oh this happens. And then I'm thinking.

She should have said, it's about to again. And then I'm really thinking, like the insurance thing. I'm like, I don't even know if I'm covered. Oh so you said no. I could enter into financial ruin. You know, it's like I'm in a Mercedes van here. How much does this thing cost? Hit a Scotsman, he's gonna sue you.

I get in the car, I start it up, and first of all, task one is just to back the car into a different space so that everyone can load their luggage into the car underneath this awning. Please tell me you backed up and all you heard was a bunch of bagpipes, like you had run over. But it's felt so foreign, it really did. You couldn't even back up?

No, no, it was like, man, there's a whole lot of car over there. I'm not used to so much car over there and there's no car over here, you know what I'm saying? It's just like, wow, that's a lot to think about that I haven't thought about over there. I never thought about over there. Now there's where most of there is.

You know? Yeah. Like that's the first thing that happens. Where I'm thinking about, there's nothing to think about. There's nothing there. But I keep thinking about that. There's something where there wasn't something and there's nothing where there was something.

That was the biggest thing and so you're like, oh, I have to account for the footage over here so I don't run into things with the left side of the car because I'm on the right side of the car. I get it, I get it now, yeah. With the brain things happen. I understand on paper. So but we get, I back in and get everything packed

into the car and then I'm like okay Cole, here you know, this is the address, this is where we're going, the address of the hotel. I'm sure we're gonna get separated. We can't be trying to be together. That's smart. Like we can't worry about that. That's the only smart thing you've said.

Because someone's going to make a mistake, so forget this whole staying together thing. Put the address in. If you hit someone, I don't wanna see it, is what that was code for. And mistake number one was I just pull out of the rental car parking lot and then I see two large trucks coming at me.

What? In two lanes. And I'm like, I'm going the wrong way. Already? No, but hold on. I wasn't on the wrong side of the road. It was, I was still in the airport, so I'm not like out on the highway. Okay.

I had gone out an entrance only thing because I didn't understand that the sign, they don't have, first of all, they have so many. Don't blame it on the sign. No, they have so many signs that explain. You went out the end. But the sign didn't say no exit, it just was a symbol that I didn't understand

and it looked like I could go. You know what that symbol means? Oh, I know now, it means don't go that way. No, don't enter. But you know what, in America it says wrong way. Which that computes to me, wrong way, okay, I won't go that way. So, but I immediately, again, they weren't like,

they were going like five miles per hour because we were all still in like the parking area kind of situation, so I was able to just be like, oh, turn around. So then I go out the correct way, and within 100 yards come to my first roundabout. And again, I haven't read about, I didn't do any research. I had all these plans of like,

I'm gonna watch a YouTube video about adjusting to this. I'm gonna like go on my son's like Forza, is that the name of it? Yeah. Game where I'm gonna drive on the left side of the road. Of course, I didn't do any of that. So I'm just facing it in the rain, trying to figure, oh, the windshield wipers

are on this side. Of course they are. And so I pull out, I see the roundabout. I'm like, I don't know what, I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do here, but I can kind of see from my directions that I'm supposed to go around it and then head off in this direction.

I get into the roundabout and I'm like, I think that, I'm looking at the navigation and then I'm looking at the roundabout, I'm like, then I kind of get disoriented and I just take one of the spires off of the roundabout. You just crapshoot. The one that I thought was the right one, it was the wrong one.

And I'm like, I'm already screwing up. It went into just a hotel parking lot. Well, that's good actually. Which also had another roundabout. First of all, In a parking lot? The roundabouts are everywhere. And let me just say that after two weeks of doing this, well, I would say, I had somebody tell me,

three days you'll adjust. I would say it happened earlier than that. There were no more close calls, even the rest of that trip of driving into Edinburgh, going through multiple roundabouts, by the time I got to the hotel I was like, this isn't going to be that difficult. It wasn't until we went to the Highlands,

so after being in Edinburgh for a couple of days, and I basically just drove to the hotel, left the car parked at the hotel, and then took public transportation all around the city. So it wasn't like I was driving all around the city. The real driving started when we had to drive across the country up to Glencoe, which is basically the gateway to the Highlands,

so like the Scottish Highlands that you've seen in postcards and that kind of thing. Okay. There's a little town called Glencoe that is right inside the highlands, but not like, you could go for hours and hours and hours to go up to Loch Ness and all that, which we didn't end up doing.

But that trip of driving up there, driving across the country, then driving into the highlands, that was when things got very real because not only are you on the left side of the road, which I'd kinda gotten used to, the roads are comically narrow, unbelievably narrow. Why are they so narrow?

You're asking yourself the entire time. They got a lot of space, right? And there's no shoulder at all on most of the roads. So, you know, like first of all, our roads are a little bit wider than the car. Especially when I was in a van, it felt like it was just as wide as my van. In America, there's no shoulder.

If we don't have a shoulder, there's a sign that says no shoulder. That's how far we go. They just let you know when there is a shoulder. That's what signs say, it's the other way around. But you're driving through the Highlands and then there's like a 700 year old rock wall on the side of the road.

It's right up next to the thing, right up next to the shoulder. There is no shoulder. And then there's another rock next to the thing, right up next to the shoulder, there is no shoulder. And then there's another rock wall on the other side. Oh. And then there's these semi-trucks, they're like, they gotta drive, they gotta drive up there to the highlands somehow.

They're a little bit narrower than what we would have in America, but they're still massive, giant trucks with large trailers behind them. And those guys are basically, I don't know how they do it, they're fitting in this very small spot. And then the tourist buses, just buses and buses of tourists who are coming up, same width, and then what was happening initially

is I would like move over a little bit just instinctively to not hit them and I would hit the little, I would go off the road, like my left wheel would go off the road and then I left wheel would go off the road. And then I'd be like and have to get back on. And then Cole and I were constantly checking in with each other and we had both kind of independently discovered you kind of have to lean into

the oncoming traffic, you know what I'm saying? You just overcome your tendency to want to pull away and you just lean in a little bit. Like my mirror might touch. You steer into them or you just lean in a little bit like I am, my mirror might touch. You steer into them or you just, your head leans. You're sort of mentally leaning but you're also turning a little bit so you're like hugging that line.

And you're grinding your teeth and you're puckering your anus. Oh yeah, very, very tight the whole time. But I'd say by the end I was actually having fun but the biggest difference that I noticed. Just embracing death. There was absolutely no way that I was going to fall asleep while driving because you had to be

so on top of. Everything was working. Everything, the entire, you were so engaged. Whereas here, you're just like, the road is, you know, 40 feet wide, there's extra lanes, there's a shoulder that's as wide as the road itself. You just basically just go to sleep. No one's gonna fall asleep at the wheel there because you're so engaged.

But I. I'm so glad you didn't hit anybody. And while I'm up in Glencoe, I'll move on from driving and throw it back to you but while I'm up in Glencoe, I'll move on from driving and throw it back to you, but while I'm up in Glencoe, which by the way, one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, very much reminded me of Kauai, a place that you've also been. Hawaii.

In terms of just these incredibly green, giant faces of mountains that don't, like there's some that have trees and some that have no, there's not a tree on it, it's just great. It's one of the most beautiful landscapes I've ever been in. And driving through that, well, trying to like navigate and look and enjoy the scenery but also not run into the tourist bus.

That was a little harrowing. But while I'm up there in this little town, I basically find out through Jenna that no, I'm not covered. I don't, my insurance does not cover this. And my credit card, the fine print on the credit card says, has all the exclusions, and one of them is nine plus passenger vans.

And I have a nine passenger van. So I'm up there and I'm like, I got no place to go. I get to physically go into one of the locations. So I'm like, I gotta make it into one of these locations without wrecking. You're teetering. But thankfully, Jenna was able to talk to people that handle our insurance stuff

and they were able to get it in, basically give us a temporary policy until I could get to the next location so that I would be covered by insurance. So that put me at ease a little bit and then eventually I was able to stop at one of the places and pay the fee. But anyway, I didn't wreck.

Just went off the road a few times, went the wrong direction quite a few times. And here's one hot tip going back to the roundabout. You know, when in doubt on a roundabout, keep rounding about. Cause all you're gonna do is circle around. Right. Don't exit just because it's a circle.

Well, and let me tell you, I am pro roundabout now. In fact- When in doubt, keep rounding about. I'm all about the roundabouts now. I think that it's a superior way to navigate than a traffic light. Yeah, okay, whatever.

On our second full day in Thailand, I had signed us up for a day trip out to Ayutthaya, which is the original capital city of Thailand. So it's built in the, I think this was, well I know, because I'm looking at this now, mid 14th century, so 1350, you're building all of these watts, which is the word for temple out there.

And if you watched Mortal Kombat, the movie, 1995. Oh, I'm a big fan. The opening scene, fight scene is there. Oh really? And man, I gotta tell you, I love me some ruins. Man, you would have loved it here too. Did you go to Stonehenge? I told you to go to Stonehenge.

I could tell by the look on your face you ended up not going. I didn't go. Okay. I have good reasons. All right, I respect you, you had a lot to do. I have a stone phobia. Woodman got stone phobia. So they've got this entire city that was,

it was taken over and it was ransacked this entire city that was, it was taken over and it was ransacked but it wasn't completely destroyed. And so a lot of these, and you can look on my Instagram for one of my only two posts was a selfie I took there. That was a lot of fun to go there. Like I said, 94% of the population is Buddhist. It's actually a requirement for all men by age 20 to serve as a monk for like six weeks?

No longer than that. Three months. But it's voluntary and some people do it for much less, maybe even just a day or two. But that just goes to show you about. It's required but voluntary. You have to do it for much less, maybe even just a day or two. But that just goes to show you about. It's required but voluntary. You have to do it for some length of time. I think from a practical standpoint,

it's expected. Okay. Is how it ends up shaking out, you know? Yeah. And there's so many temples. You know, there's like tens of thousands of temples all over Thailand. And these ruins are ruins of some of those original temples that then around Bangkok you see like the modern form,

which is basically the same, which is very fancy and ornate. You can't miss these temples. Literally, they're everywhere, but also some of the most famous things to see in Bangkok, not in Ayutthaya, where we saw the ruined, older versions of the temples, is to see these temples. So we didn't go to any of the temples.

It's a thing to do, but we didn't do it. Yeah, we kept saying we're gonna go visit this temple. Like, we went on the river and we would see the temples from, I mean, from like a block away or something and they're absolutely amazingly ornate and I really wanted to see them but we just didn't, it was so much to do when you factor in shopping in like air conditioned malls.

After day one and how I like burnt my family and wilted them, we ended up not walking around too many temples. Or any temples. Well it's interesting because, you know, the equivalent are the giant, old ornate churches of Scotland and England that we actually ended up going in quite a few. Cathedrals?

Yeah so, you know, there's like St. Giles Cathedral in Edinburgh, of course we did Westminster Abbey in London, which I think you had seen as well. And there is a point where you're kinda like, okay, this is absolutely incredible. The level of craftsmanship in this place is just bonkers. But once you've seen Westminster Abbey, it's like okay, I'm gonna go into another one.

It's gonna be, basically they took the same approach. I'm not saying that, by the end of the trip, I was like I don't need to see any more of these because I feel like I've seen it. But the interesting thing, and it sounds like you experienced the same thing, there's a whole lot of this sensation of going into a place and being like,

this place was built in the year 1050. This was built in the 11th century or the 10th century or whatever. Yeah. And then you kind of just be like, man, this place is old. And you kind of just sit in the oldness. There's like a lot.

Which is, that's fun. It is but I just. Until it's not anymore. Well no, but we would just do it everywhere. It's like this is the oldest bar in all of the UK and you go in there and you're like, man this place is old. Yeah, nod your head a little bit.

You're like man, so being in such an old place. I knew that's how the kids would feel, that's why we did, I mean. I enjoyed it, I'm just saying that like it's a phenomenon to just go to an old thing and just talk about how old it is. But the ruins were more fun because you could walk on, they let you walk on it.

A lot of it you can just walk on and walk up and stuff and there was one that we could still go inside and again there's not much in there but it's like, and then they've got all these old Buddha statues that are like falling apart and you can see this, like the skeleton is made out of wood and it's exposed and then it used to be bronze, very ornate. So I really loved Ayutthaya.

That was totally worth the day trip there and then getting car sick on the way back trying to figure out why my ATM card wouldn't work for three hours. Did you straighten that out? Straightened it out, yeah. But I mean we took a canal tour. There's lots of canals off of the main river in Bangkok

and that was a lot of fun being able to see a lot of the houses and a lot of fun, being able to see a lot of the houses and a lot of the temples that are off the main drag and these monitor lizards swimming in the canals that are like six feet long and like, their trunk is like bigger around than my trunk. Just swimming. They're not safe, right?

They have venom but they, if they were to, they might hurt an infant or like a little toddler. Really? But they're in the park there. They'll eat turtles and dead fish and stuff like that but it was cool to see them. I thought it was a freaking alligator and then it started climbing up the stairs

into somebody's backyard and it was a freaking monitor lizard. I call it a Komodo dragon but that's not what it was. Komodo dragons, they're dangerous for real though. It wasn't a Komodo dragon. But then that night, that second night, it hit me. It hasn't hit me digestively. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. I'm not having any movement. You know you talk about getting the pomegranate juice or like eating the street meat or. How many days? This is the second, well the third night. Right, okay. I'm like I am not gone.

That's a problem. This is like summer camp all over again. Mm-hmm. And I gotta do something about this. You didn't take your fiber with you? Didn't take my fiber with me because I've been drinking my breakfast smoothie religiously with just some flaxseed in it

and I don't take fiber anymore. Yeah. And I took my breakfast smoothie pack but I didn't take my flaxseed. That was a big mistake, man. Yeah. And you know, with my anxiety, I think You gotta remember that your beard grows in white.

Yeah, everything puckers up. You gotta worry about that fiber. Everything puckers up, like you drive in on the cobblestone streets or wherever you are. So then I'm going down to like the drugstore and I'm like, man, I gotta get the old enema. I gotta get this. You went, hold on, so you went straight to enema?

Like, Christy had a bunch of these stool softener pills. Yeah, there's a few steps before enema. I'm just saying, there's a few steps before enema. For like 36 hours before that, I had started taking stool softener pills. Like two, three at a time, nothing. And I could just feel that there was like, Oh gosh.

I was just, I was getting bottom heavy. It's just not good, man. So we're in the middle of the street and we're like trying to find a pharmacy and like nothing's in English in the pharmacy. And it's like, they're not gonna draw a picture of an enema. So it's like. You gotta demonstrate.

The only. You take like a Barbie doll in there and say, this is what I. Yeah, I did bring a Barbie doll so that I could communicate with people. Well, okay, what did you do? This American going up with a bent over Barbie doll like doing that motion, it's like, what am I asking for?

That's true, you are in Bangkok. You gotta be careful. So I brought you back a souvenir that's very special to me. Hold on, it's not the turd, is it? Look at that, this is what I found. Give him a little ASMR there. Now open it, it did have some English on it. It's a little pack there.

You want me to open it? Yeah, it's for you, it's a souvenir. It's the thing that meant the most to me on my trip. Look at that, hold that up for the people. It's a lollipop. Now this is an infant or baby enema, which is the only thing I could find. This one doesn't.

Would you double or triple up on this? This one, yeah, it had, the other ones that I bought had a ball-headed baby's picture on it. So I was like, well, I guess I need to get three. So I got three and I squeezed two up in there first night and I sat down and they had this, there was a trash can in front of the. Hold on, what about the toilet?

I went back to the hotel room, I sat down. You got confused. I sat down on the toilet and oh my gosh, nothing. I was just pain. Yeah, you should have gone two or maybe three or four. I went to the toilet and oh my gosh, nothing, I was just pain. Yeah, you should have gone two, maybe three or four. I went two, pain, man, and I grabbed the, I had this little trash can, I grabbed that and I like, I tried to create a squatty potty situation,

and then Christy's like walking in like, I need to wash my face before I go to bed. I'm like, that's not a good time. How many times? She's like, you look like you're about to rocket into space. How many times did you reference Chip in this? Oh don't use his last name, damn.

A friend from college who shall remain last nameless. Okay. Chip B. Okay. He went to, he spent like months in China and then he ate too much rice and didn't go and like delivered. It's a legendary story. Oh man, I mean he had like a 12 hour bout with like a, he had a baby.

Someone actually adopted his turd after. It was that big. He took it to the local adoption agency. I was so scared that that was gonna happen to me. It was a painful night and then the next day, nothing. So then the next day, so two days later, I'm in the same situation again. I'm gonna quit holding this, by the way.

That one's not used. It was in a sealed package. Yeah, it still got the top sealed on it. But by the time we got to our second destination, we left Bangkok and we went. So you did, nothing came out? No, it did eventually work. Oh, okay. But then two days later, I'm doing the same thing again.

It's just like my lower GI. You're eating a lot of rice, right? Rice, noodles. Rice and noodles. Yeah, you gotta balance that out. Meats, but. Not a lot of fiber in any of that. Not a lot of fiber. But I that. Not a lot of fiber. But I became, it's like it shut down.

Like my intestines just shut down. They froze. So these bulbs became very special to me. And I had to go buy more, I had to go buy more, and I had to go buy more. You have to be careful how, you can't just become reliant on enemas. Well let me tell you, the moment I got home,

I went up to my toilet, totally good, totally fine. It was like my body knew, it's like my butt knew when it hit my seat, everything was fine. You know what, I've switched to the fiber, the gummy fibers, fiber gummies. Yeah, because you're regressing. I'm using infant bulbs and you're using infant fiber. I just don't, they taste good, I just took three a day. No problems, man.

Because my diet was like a lot of meat, a lot of like meat pies. And bringing like a fiber mix is problematic. They think it looks like drugs. You know, TSA makes you open it up, tell them what it is. So that, I mean, that was the highlight of my Bangkok trip was these little bulbs.

Jesus Christ. You know, I'll talk about Chiang Rai and then Koh Samui when you talk about your mom. I'm not saying you're dumb with anything else you wanna say here but I'll save all that stuff for the next one but just to summarize Bangkok for me, as overwhelming as it was in every way, I think it was very memorable to like,

I felt like we really experienced the city, like walking around and like, we did sign up for a food tour where a guy walks us around and like gets us to eat food from places on the street that we probably wouldn't have had the guts to eat on our own. Like we ate this papaya salad that he helped them make it not too spicy because they could really

torch an American over there. And then we're eating this like pork and rice thing and everyone's like, oh this is really good. And then we walk around the corner to where he got it from because he just brought it around the corner to us and it was just a bunch of pig's feet hanging up. It was a pig's feet and rice place. I'm glad we ate it first because.

You've had pig's feet though. I know but I don't elect to have it. But it was great. And then he's like, he kept taking us on shortcuts. And he would say, I'm gonna take you on a shortcut through to this next street market. And it would be this back alley where it would just be dark and rats running everywhere.

He'd be like, don't worry about the rats. It's very clean here. The rats clean up everything. Even the other dead rats and dead cats that we would see in taking the shortcut. Very clean dead cats. So you know, he emailed me afterward. He was like, please write a chip provisor review.

And I'm like, you know what? Leave out the dead cats. I'm just gonna email you some constructive criticism about when my family didn't feel safe, but just to help you out. But I'm not gonna do this publicly. Or on a podcast. Yeah, right.

And he was gracious for the feedback. But the food was great. Being in Bangkok was a great experience and I just think that we soaked it in and then we moved on to more resort life which I'll get into in the next installment. Well I think we can wrap it up there. I'll cover just a couple other details of things

that happened but it really kinda, my trip has definitely been overshadowed so to speak by what happened to, yeah quit licking the enema please. has definitely been overshadowed, so to speak, by what happened to, yeah, quit licking the enema, please. The, what happened to my mom, which we'll get into. But before we go, wreck and effect, something that actually was very useful on the trip and something that, Gummy fiber. Locke pointed out to me was this website,

thetruesize.com, which I know that seems like it could be a few different things. But what it actually is is it's a world map. Let me show this to you. Thetruesize.com. So it's a website where you type in a country. So I've typed in United Kingdom, and then you can take it and you can move it

all around the world to see how big it is compared to something you actually know. So we had this argument like how big do you think the UK is? And I said, I think it's probably from Georgia to Virginia. I said that before, and of course, that's about how big it is. But it also takes into account this, I can't remember the name of it.

There's an effect, basically like, okay, Greenland looks massive on a map, right? Like the global wrap effect? Yeah, but there's a specific name for it. I think it's the global wrap effect. And so let me put in Greenland. Well I kinda wanna know how big Thailand is. Well let me show you this.

So like, okay, here's Greenland. It looks huge. It looks massive, but. Well let me show you this. So like, okay here's Greenland. It looks huge. It looks massive but when you bring it down. Oh it gets, dang! It gets tiny. It gets little, man! So basically that effect that is, it's the whole idea of you've got a.

Stretching it. If you try to take the skin of a globe off, it won't lay down flat. So basically as things move towards the poles, they get exaggeratingly large on a flat map. I think Thailand will go from the bottom tip of Florida up to Washington D.C.

Okay, so. Because Thailand's kinda long, it's got this peninsula down there. Well, I'll put Thailand in there, see Thailand. T-H-I-G-H. There it is. Okay. Now drag that over to Florida.

Such a redneck thing to do. How much bigger is Thailand than Florida? Oh my goodness. Way bigger. What, you're dragging it over the UK, where are you? No, the UK's already there, because I moved. Oh, it stays, you could create a no pangea. You see that?

Did you start at the tip of Florida? No, put the tip of Thailand at the tip of, there you go, and now, does that go to Washington D.C.? It goes almost exactly to Washington D.C. Okay, well, see? Because I've traveled all over that land. And of course, if you move it up here to the poles, I mean, look how big it gets. Look how big Thailand is.

Thailand is as big as Greenland. You're subverting the use of this thing. Okay, your wreck has been in effect, man. Yeah, the truesize.com. For those of you who are very interested in the true size of a country and how it coordinates to where you're at Okay, your rec has been in effect, man. Yeah, thetruesize.com. Thetruesize.com. For those of you who are very interested in the true size of a country and how it coordinates to where you're at

or other places in the world. Hashtag Ear Biscuits, let us know if you wanna contribute to the conversation in any way or correct anything that we said or things that we should've done that we didn't do. I'm sure you wanna do that. Oh, you should have done this. It's like, how are we going to feel?

When am I going to go back to Thailand now? Don't do that. And then next week, we will find out what the heck happened to Rhett's mom.