Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 221: Our Top 10 Moments Of 2019 | Ear Biscuits Ep. 221

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

Between special moments with their families, personal developments, and professional highlights, R&L look back at 2019. Listen to them countdown their most memorable moments of this year in this episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, man, we're gonna look back at our year,

the year that was 2019, and we have each independently ranked our top 10 moments. 10. Most meaningful moments slash experiences slash happenings. I would like to refrain from using the term meaningful because I'm gonna go with, meaningful is a part of it,

but I'm gonna go with memorable because it was the 10 that I could remember. Oh. And so I have a feeling that- There may be more. Either while you're sharing your top 10 or vice versa or just later, I'll be like, oh, yeah, that should have made my top 10.

So I don't like to make anything definitive or comprehensive because I'm a human prone to error and faulty memory recall. It sounds like you're- Hedging? because I am a human prone to error. And faulty memory recall. It sounds like you're. Hedging? Well it sounds like you're almost pre-apologizing for someone that you will have forgotten to be grateful for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like is it? Yeah, I mean I'm not really doing that but that's probably my instinct. And also I feel like the order is pretty. Yeah, it's difficult. Like the ordering was difficult. I don't know.

Arbitrary? It's not arbitrary. There's a general rhyme or reason as to why I put them in this order, but if I start thinking about it a whole lot more, they'll start switching around and who knows what'll happen. I am very grateful that we did this last year. So we did the 2019, no, 2018 version.

Last year was 2018. Now we're about to do the 2019 version. Usually every year they go about one number of the years. It was a rewarding experience having this conversation last year. I anticipate that this will be a rewarding experience because putting this list together was rewarding for me because it forced me to do something that,

it actually takes a lot of work. Like I went back through my photos to jog my memory. I went back through my notes that I had taken, like my Evernote journal, and I actually looked at, I looked at my calendar. I really tried to be thorough. I didn't look at the calendar, but I did think that, man,

if I took a lot of pictures of something like that. Which we've discussed. That is definitely the thing. If anything's worth remembering. Again, I don't. Have at least one picture of it. I don't even. This is a good reason. I don't even like to think about it too much because,

I think one of the. You're stressing about it. One of the themes that, oh no, actually this is a theme that I uncovered as I thought through this, is that, man, it's like the vast majority of the experience that you have with a particular moment in your life will be in the memory of that moment, right?

So by far, right, because something happens and it happens one time, one night, but you will reaccess that memory for the rest of your life. Hopefully, if it's good. And it just strikes me as, man, it really is, it really is about the memory. But the memories that, for me the thing

that I kinda realize is that this year, you know what, I'm not even gonna say it. It's about being in the moment and it's like, I started realizing that I was sometimes and I wasn't sometimes. Okay. And I think that contributed to my order. Well let's get into it.

But we should get into it because we got 10. We're also doing this with no headphones for those of you listening. And I don't like it. If we're talking in a different volume. I knew you would hate it. I don volume, I knew you would hate it. I don't. I knew you would hate it. I feel like I like the way it feels,

but again, I'm giving it a good shot. I think I have a theory as to why you like it, but I'm not gonna say what it is, because you know it's not about that. Seems like, yeah, it's like you're looking down your nose at me, man. No, I feel like if you have headphones, you feel like you're in a little bit more control

and you feel a little bit less in control. I'm floating, I'm in space. That's difficult for you. What's your number 10 most memorable moment of 2019? After many years of not being able to do this, I was able to put on a fireworks show on July 4th in North Carolina. And as I've discussed before, this was a big part

of my July 4th celebrations in the past. I nearly killed my brother-in-law one time and also a random teen girl. I set a field on fire and required a friend to come out of nowhere with a fire extinguisher. You know, I've- These are all in the past, but in 2019- I've almost put myself in the freelance fireworks

hall of fame several times, but, and then coming out to California, you can't do fireworks because the whole place is just tender, ready to go up in flames at any moment. So going back to North Carolina, on the beach, on a dock, in the sound, and to have my father-in-law send someone to buy a crap ton of very illegal fireworks to just put on a patriotic display of awesomeness

for my family and to be able to do it with my kids for the first time, put them in a little danger as well because they don't get to be in a lot of danger here in the very safe Southern California so that was cool. That was cool. It was really cool. Cool makes it to number 10 on your list and you talked about this in a previous Ear Biscuit.

I did. And I'm actually curious as we go through our list, how many of the things that made our top 10 have we already shared on Ear Biscuits? And if so, that makes me feel good because it means that like the most meaningful things in our lives we're already sharing with you. There's very little, if any, that I haven't shared.

Spoiler alert. Yeah, my number 10 is way back in January. And I believe we devoted an entire episode to talking about my Spartan race. Ah, yes. And our most historic, physical accomplishments, achievements. And so from a physical accomplishment standpoint,

it was a peak for me. Ever since then, I've just been living in the shadow of what a specimen I was. I've never. You didn't do another one. There was a lot of talk about doing more. I think I'm gonna. You even had the little medal

that was just a piece of a medal and. Well you have to do three in a year to get this like super medal. Yeah. I'm gonna sign up. You still got a couple weeks. You know what, I've decided that I'm gonna sign up for another race, something or other.

And you know, just to gear up my training. It really makes a difference. It's about the journey. It's not just about the destination, which by the way was at the finish line, completely intact, but only by a thread. But I think about it a lot. I think about it a lot.

Yeah, you think about it more than you did it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I only did it once. I think about it a lot. I think about it a lot. Yeah, you think about it more than you did it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I only did it once. I think about it all the time. I need to do it more often. You better do the right thing so you can think about the right things. That's the moral of the story.

What's your number nine? Some of these later, like once we get to the top of the list I think I'm gonna wanna unpack some of these more, especially since that was the whole episode. I'm not gonna talk about it anymore now. Go back and listen to that episode if you want to. Number nine for me was throwing out the first pitch at the Dodgers game.

Oh, that didn't, that was not on my list. But it was cool. I was there for that. I also threw out. I put this on the list not because, again, in the moment, I wasn't like, I'm having the time of my life, this is a childhood dream come true

because it's not really. Throwing out a first pitch is something that I imagined might happen at some point but it wasn't something that I looked forward to. But it's pretty cool that we got to do it. And it's, and so that's why I put it on the list because it seems like it should be on the list. I mean, I'm not gonna say you weren't nervous,

you weren't anxious, there's a word that I can't come up with that you were more than me about that. I could tell that like, and maybe it's more that like, the sportsmanshipness of yourself that I don't really have. Yeah. So I could tell, I got a real kick out of it, but I could tell it meant more to you. Well it's like, maybe the equivalent is, you know,

when I had the opportunity to, a couple years ago with Locke and his father-son three point contest thing that I think I talked about that we get to do in his basketball league, it's like, you present me with an opportunity to do something to display my abilities. I take it very seriously. And I actually was pretty damn disappointed

in my performance. My pitch basically bounced and I'm gonna blame it on my bum shoulder. But I just was, I actually was kind of disappointed in myself, which is I realized I'm literally the only person on earth who's disappointed in me. No one cares about it. No one understands.

I was proud of us because the flights of our balls was in total unison and they crisscrossed. Hey, yours might have hit the dirt a little bit, but that's not for me to say. But it was a special moment and it kind of, you know, it's one of those moments that you can be like, all right, we've done enough for someone to think that we should throw out the pitch at a baseball game.

Yeah. At a Major League Baseball game. And they went on to not go to the World Series. Right, that was your fault. It's not our fault, maybe your fault. Mine didn't hit the dirt. Mine hit the meat. You know what, I think it was your,

I think your catcher was just more, I think you just reached further. My number nine is my Thailand trip. Are you surprised that's not higher on my list? That's not your number nine? Yeah. It's my number nine. I don't know.

It's weird. Now I'm gonna talk about why it wasn't that great of a trip or something. It was a really great trip. It was a very ambitious trip. And it was very special. But compared to the other things on my list, it was just, it was a very ambitious

and well executed vacation. But in my mind, it just kinda was, and I mean, it was a privilege to be able to travel that far and to see so many places. To me, the big takeaway was that as a family, we did it. It felt like an accomplishment. And I don't mean in like, oh, we traveled. I guess I kind of do.

We mobilized as the Neals, we executed this trip and we made it out alive. Executed the trip. It's a strange way to think about it. Is that how you think about things? It was also very stressful. I think that's the thing that pushes it down because it was ambitious, it was stressful for me.

Like I'm still coming to grips with how I can really enjoy an ambitious trip with lots of moving parts. Moved around to three different places, saw a bunch of ruins, made a lot of great memories. But I think in the grand scheme of things and in the scheme of my list, I don't think it changed me as much

as the other things on my list, including other trips that I took. And that's how I evaluated it. We had a really good time. Our view of the world was expanded. I think that it baked something into the kids that I didn't have as a kid, which was not just an internet awareness

of how big the world is, but a physical awareness. And I think that's really valuable. So I'll add that to the list. It's on the list. I mean, I'm not saying I didn't have a good time. I thought it would have been higher myself. Okay, yeah, because I'm not gonna, I mean, my- It's my number nine.

My big trip, it's a lot higher up on my list. Okay. That's all I'll say. But, okay, but your trip was also, it had this built, it had this, so many layers of meaning. We'll get into it. And family, I mean, you'll get into it.

Yeah, you'll get into it. What's your number eight? My number eight, now first of all, this is another thing that I started thinking when I was putting together my list. So much of this is trips. Right. Which I think, because this next one is my Mexico trip

with Jessie that happened earlier in the year. The one where I took the infamous watermelon suit portrait. Oh. That completely blew up Instagram. I mean, Instagram hasn't been the same since I put on that matching short sleeve shirt and shorts bathing suit. I think you're conflating it with when I put on that watermelon ensemble.

And it was way too big for me. In my backyard and relaunched my Instagram, which should have made my list. That's my number 11. You can't do that, no. My number 11 was I relaunched my Instagram. But I did think that, Madden it. Again, I don't know why I'm struggling

with the way that I'm processing this and I think it's simply, it's like if I didn't take pictures of something, I didn't really, I mean, there's things on this list that don't have anything to do with an event that I could have taken a picture at, but it was like going back through my photos, I was like, oh yeah, we went to Mexico

really early in the year. It was to Jesse and I had to get some time away, just the two of us, which is something that we don't get to do enough of. And we had a really good time with each other. And then of course I did that particular thing of having that portrait made, which was just a goofy moment. It was her idea to get me this ridiculous suit

and then to take, and we created this moment that became this fun thing that we could talk about. But that decision kind of, it created, it memorialized a trip that otherwise might would have just been like a really good trip, like me going to Thailand. Well, but the thing that I'm trying to figure out is, and this is why my number one is my number one, right?

Because it is the moment that I feel like was definitely worth a picture, but it was the moment in I feel like was definitely worth a picture, but it was the moment in which I was most present and everything seemed, like there was like a moment of realization. Like we talk about this a lot. We had a whole chapter in our book, Book of Mythicality about it, stopping and celebrating,

which I'm really bad about doing because I am always moving on to the next thing. And so, More of a go and accomplish. Very rarely am I like, regardless of how well something is going or how awesome it is, very rarely am I like, present in that moment.

This is common with most people, it's very difficult to be present. But that's why I put my number one on my number one because it was this confluence of this is an incredible moment, it's meaningful, but you're fully experiencing it. But what do you see? Almost being overwhelmed by it.

Whereas a lot of these things, like that trip with Jesse, when I think about it, the only thing that really connects with me is the fact that I took that picture. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not, yeah, we had good times and good conversation and stuff, but it's like, it seems very vague and I don't remember being as present and being like, this is so cool.

We're at this awesome resort in Mexico and the weather's perfect and we're together and let's take a mental picture of where we're at. So for me, more than anything, I'm actually looking through this list and thinking about how I want to approach 2020. Yeah, a bit of a frustration. And be more present.

Yeah, I mean, I had forgotten that Christy and I also went down to Cabo for like a long weekend. I was like, you know, we should do that again. That was like right before Valentine's Day, right before we flew home and then I turned around like the next day and we flew to London to go to VidCon London. So and then we were in VidCon London for Valentine's Day.

So I remember we were not with our wives and we were bummed about that. But yeah, I had, without looking at the picture, I'd kind of forgotten that I'd taken a little Mexico getaway myself and it was very special. Didn't make my list. It didn't make your list. Didn't make my list.

Wow. It's a tough list to make. What number am I at? I'm at number eight. You should be doing eight. I'm at number eight and I wanna save it until after the break because we gotta do some promotions. And this is an interesting one that I gotta unpack. Okay, so Link, we'll be back with number eight.

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Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is... Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. It's a weekly news show.

With the best celebrity guests. And hot takes galore. So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. Alright, so now it's time to get into my number eight. Now, last year we both turned 40, am I right? No. I turned- I'm 42.

42, I'm 41. Yeah, I turned 41 this year, you turned 42. Last year I turned 40, yes, and that was a big one for me, but not for you, because you were already 41. I figured it out. But this year I turned 41, you turned 42. Don't tell me you turning 40 made your 2018 list. You made your 2018 list, not your 2019 list.

Yeah, yeah, no. But it's 2019. My birthday this year did not make my list. Yeah, I don't even remember what I did for my birthday. Well don't say that because my number eight is your birthday. Freaking, but seriously, look, my number eight, Rhett's birthday.

Oh, oh, I was, oh yeah. Now hold on, don't you? No, yeah, the day. Yeah, man. I was talking about the night, the party. When we watched horror movies. You forgot the part that was meaningful enough to me to be my number eight and apparently isn't on your list,

but okay, whatever. I don't think about myself like that. Okay. I'm very selfless. Remember at the beginning when you felt like you were wronging somebody by forgetting something? Well that somebody is me. It happened already, at number eight. I knew I'd get you with this one.

I'm just giving you a hard time. Yeah, my number eight. I knew I'd get you with this one. I'm just giving you a hard time. But yeah, my number eight is your birthday because that day we had the day to just hang out, the two of us, and it was just, we were like, we're gonna go get some lunch, we're gonna go see a movie, and then that evening, more of your friends, and my friends, are gonna come over and we're gonna watch another scary movie,

you're gonna have your scary movie night. But the fact that we made plans for your birthday for the whole day turned out to be a kick-ass special day. Right. It was, you had your first bite of a McRib. Well, we went and we, you know, okay, let's think about the McRib thing. So you wanted to get a McRib, it's your birthday,

I'm like, yeah, let's go get a McRib. And we're on the way to the McRib and we're like turning it into an Instagram story. And it was one of those times where it was like, I felt like we were having so much fun that we just decided, hey, we're having so much fun, let's share it on an Instagram story. As opposed to, you know what, it's my birthday,

we should really make an Instagram story. I felt like it very much was that vibe and it was just a lot of fun. You believed your own hype. That's good. Yeah, so we, you know, I didn't like the McRib, but it was fun to not like the McRib on your birthday. Right.

And then to watch the movie. But, and I, you know, I think you'll agree, and then to watch the movie. I think you'll agree, even though I'm not gonna go into details, but I think that that day of us hanging out was the spark for ideas that we had later that then will lead to things that, I think it planted a seed that will lead to things that, I think it planted a seed that will lead to things that we're gonna be doing.

Yeah, without a doubt. And I think that for, you know, we get so busy being professional friends and I think it was, honestly, it was a year ago when we had a conversation that was like, you know, we work so hard, are we really preserving time to just cultivate our friendship, you know? That was almost a year ago now when we were having

these private discussions, right? Right. Or I can think of one specific discussion that we had. And then I think that your birthday, many months later, 11, almost 12 months later after that conversation, for me was a great fulfillment of that conversation we had that's like, hey, our friendship is important and it's not something that can just be second to what,

we just can't ride on the coattails of whatever we're creating is gonna buoy our friendship. Absolutely. Right. Everything we do create does, I mean, it does contribute in a huge way to the vibrance of our friendship, but that can't be the only source of it, you know? Well, and I think that what we,

I think maybe this isn't necessarily in contrast to what you're saying, but also realizing that there is, I'm trying to do this in a way that doesn't spoil what I know you're thinking about. Yeah. But there is a way for our friendship and our professional friendship

to inform one another more directly. Meaning that, sure, we can do something stupid together that is primarily designed to be an internet video and we're gonna have a good time. But that's just us deciding to do something that we think will get views. Whereas there is a way to be like, actually the starting point is our friendship

and then finding the content and the friendship versus finding the friendship and the content. I think what you're saying is that it's not easy to find the friendship and the content because it's starting in a place where this is work and of course we're gonna do it together and we're gonna have a good time. But if you start with the friendship,

and we'll talk a lot about this at the top of the year in our first podcast. Yeah, so I think we can leave it at that, but I just want to memorialize as my number eight that it was just, and I think we were kind of realizing it that day, you know, that you were like, we should do this more often. You know, it was like, yeah.

It was a pivotal day in our friendship. Yeah. And it was my number eight. Didn't make my list. But, now I regret that it didn't. Okay, so you can put it at a half. And you know what? Yeah, I'll add it later. I'll do the commemorative version of this.

Add it right now, where would you add it? Maybe one and a half? Maybe, oh, all the way at the top? Well, I mean, no, eight. I'm just saying, put it. I'll make it eight. Well, you already have an eight. Okay, seven and a half.

Seven and a half, okay, so higher than mine. That's what I thought. But I I'd make it eight. Well you already have an eight. Okay seven and a half. Seven and a half, okay so higher than mine. That's what I thought. But I will move to my seven. Another trip that I took, but there's a little bit of a different way into this one. So I talked a lot about this, told a funny story about my Colorado ski trip. Was it funny?

With the family. The thing in your boot? Where I left that dumbass ski goggle snow thing. Squeegee. Squeegee in my boot all day and thought my foot was dying. I had a great time with my kids.

Jessie of course didn't really ski so it was me and the boys having a good time for the entire week. And that was great, that family time. But you know the thing that I actually look back on that and realize this, there was a breakthrough. There's two things on my list that represent breakthroughs for me.

Oh, you got a number seven breakthrough? And the thing that happened on that Colorado trip, so you know I've struggled with back issues that have at times been debilitating. And of course I have like my stretching routine and stuff that I've done basically every morning for a couple of years now. And basically I am completely reliant on doing this routine.

But there's an aspect, there's a part of the routine that I used to only do on the weekends, right? Because it's time consuming. I had this lacrosse ball. Oh gosh, this is where it gets weird. And- How big is it? It's the size of a lacrosse ball. Slightly smaller than a baseball, I would say.

It's like a rubber ball. And my physical therapist kind of showed me how you can put it up your, no. You can roll on it and roll your muscles out. And the same way that you would with like a foam roller, but it's more of a trigger point sort of pinpoint thing. And I kind of roll it all the way up my back, all the way on each side in between my shoulder blades.

So I've had lower back problems and that's been my most debilitating thing, but I also have middle back, mid back problems and I have upper back problems, right? Okay. All along my spine, which I probably have degenerative disc disease, I've got these issues and when I have committed to doing something

that's very like trying physically, like skiing for six days in a row, I always know that it's pretty, it's not unlikely that I could get hurt and then this whole trip's ruined. So every single morning in Colorado, I got up and I did my routine, but I added the trigger point thing.

And I was super precise in everything that I did and took a lot of time and took about 20, 25 minutes to do this routine every single morning. And I had an incredible time and my back never hurt once. And then when I got back home, I was like, Gotta keep doing it. I gotta keep doing this. Oh yeah? Every day since that trip, every morning.

You been doing it at the ball? I've done the full routine. The McLaughlin method. And it has transformed my life. You hit a new, I didn't notice, you hit a new level? I work out a few times a week, probably about five times a week now. But I was working out two, three times a week at that point

and a lot of times I would have to call my trainer, I'd wake up and be like, I can't do it. Can't go in, it would be unwise to lift weights today because my back would be screwed up. And sometimes it would take a week or two to recover and it was just really difficult to get into a rhythm. Ever since that ski trip, when I'm paying this close attention to my back,

I've been able to go in for both of my workouts that are scheduled with my trainer and then an additional three, sometimes four days going in. And I've kind of gotten addicted to like, The ball. Staying active. Oh. Who knows what'll happen, right?

It is touch and go. But like, I'm doing the squats, man. I'm doing deadlift. I'm like doing like legit things to strengthen every muscle in my body without this fear that would be associated with all this stuff back when, basically the last 15, 20 years of my life.

You wanna do a Spartan race? You know what? When you were doing the Spartan race almost a year ago, I was like, I started thinking, I'd like to do that but I don't know if I could take it but I kinda feel like I could take it now. I kinda feel like I'm in a place where I could physically take it. So I'm open to it.

Hmm, okay, I just meant that metaphorically. I mean, I'll race against you. Oh, I was hoping to find like another training partner because it's like, too much overlap is not healthy for us. Blondina. Blondine? Blondine's with me, man. Okay.

Blondine's with me. Good for you and your balls. Yeah, right. I do have, I have actually, I've got balls everywhere. I've got a ball in my backpack, I've got a ball on my bedside table, I've got a ball in my suitcase. Who showed you?

Balls everywhere. Who showed you the ball technique? It was Yvonne, my physical therapist who was very instrumental in all this. Huh, shout out to Yvonne. Yeah, shout out to her. You should write her a note. I thought about it.

I thought about just mailing her a ball with no note. You could write on the ball. Yeah. You could mail a ball, you really can't. You can mail a ball? Yeah, just put a stamp on it. You can mail a lacrosse ball, just write on the ball. Okay, I'll take it under advisement.

My number seven is, okay. I pulled a little chicanery here. My number seven is, okay. I pulled a little chicanery here. My number seven has two parts. Because this was a Lando moment and then my Lincoln moment was floating around and it was like, it fell off my list and I'm like, I can't have my Lando moment because I got another Lily moment coming later.

So I'm like, shoot, I gotta, so I got a Lincoln and Lando. Don't tell him this. Yeah, I won't. Don't tell him he fell off the list. He didn't fall off the list because they're both at number seven. My number seven, A, is this was the year that Lincoln and I started mountain biking together.

Like I gave him my mountain bike and I bought a new mountain bike. Cause I'm not gonna buy him a new mountain bike. Right, I can't do that. When I already, you know, I can just give him mine and get a new one. I needed one that was a little bigger anyway. Cause you've grown.

That's been a special thing over the, this has been the year of us taking some mountain biking journeys together. That's been very special. And then seven B is this is been the year of us taking some mountain biking journeys together. That's been very special. And then 7B is this is also the year of me and Lando having special bedtime moment. Might wanna clarify that. I tuck Lando in the bed every night

and then I'll tuck him under the sheets and pull the covers up to his chin and then I got in this habit of then, I would then plop down and lay down on the bed beside him on top of the covers and just talk to him for a few minutes. I don't know if I shared this on Ear Biscuits, but I would just talk to him

and I would just get a kick out of hearing from him. I remember, I think I did share on Ear Biscuits, but I would just talk to him and I would just get a kick out of hearing from him. I remember, I think I did share on Ear Biscuits where it was like after the episode of GMM where Shepard kicked me in the balls and then we had the whole conversation about like, that led to, am I acting on the show or am I really being sincere? That was one example of many of the conversations

I should have made the list. We've had when I'm just tucking him in. It's just, it could be five minutes, it could be 15 minutes of us just having a conversation, sometimes whatever he wants to talk about. But the thing that really got me was, I started to notice when it got close to bedtime, he would be like, he kind of tapped me on the elbow

and he'd like give me a look and nod his head. Like, it's time for me to go to bed so I can hang out just with dad. And I realized for him how special it was. Because for me, I thought it was special. But as a parent, you're looking for those moments of acknowledgement that what you feel like is special, they also feel like is special.

And it's really rare because kids just go through life not knowing what's special. Then they remember it's special when they get older. Yeah, so for him to start to treasure that and to value that and wanna go to bed a little bit earlier so we have that time to talk was just, this is the year that that happened. And you know, with every day, kids change

and they're, at a certain point, he's gonna boot me out and say, dad, you don't have to tuck me in at all. What are you doing? Maybe, I don't know. Well, at some point, you should probably voluntarily excise yourself when he's 18. When he's married. Yeah, right.

And he's settled down in a home of his own. When he's an adult. But this is the year of that and so for both of those things, that's easily my number seven. Well I gave each one of my kids their own line. I didn't combine my kids into one. I didn't wanna do that to them.

But I also put them higher on my list. So I get. Some of my kids come back. I'll get to that in a second. But for now, this is more about me. Number six is, as I've shared extensively in an entire podcast, clarity in therapy.

I think my number one last year may have been therapy. I can't remember. Therapy was really high on my list last year because that was the year that I started or I just started at the end of 2017. I'm in much more of a rhythm with my therapy, but also it's kind of like, the only thing I feel like I've really done

is I've just sort of peeled back layers and seen everything that I need to deal with. I don't know how much progress I've made with anything, but I've just become aware of the progress that needs to take place. But the clarity that led to me making the decision to turn into a homeless slash Jesus person in terms of my hairstyle that I explained in that episode,

that happened this year. So recognizing that I'm always in my head, that I'm always intellectualizing things and not stopping to feel things, that became kind of crystallized this year. I'm still in the very early baby steps of actually making progress about it. But I think that I kind of,

there wasn't like this one moment, but there was just sort of this general realization this year of like, I kind of understand what I'm trying to accomplish. I'm beginning to understand what is the work that I'm trying to do in therapy. Because it takes a really long time to get to that point. Can you articulate that or is that just for you?

Well, no, I mean, no, no, it's just what I talked about on the podcast, it's about, I mean, the oversimplification of it is basically feeling. It's not that I don't feel, it's that as soon as I begin to feel, I intellectualize and I deflect those feelings into rational thought as opposed to being like, no, no, I'm going to actually feel this, I'm gonna feel where it is, I'm going to experience this,

I'm going to learn to communicate this, I'm gonna be able to communicate this in my relationships and beginning to understand what that might look like. But there's a lot of unwinding and sort of deprogramming that is required. So, you know, one of the things that I noticed from all the touring we did this year with the meet and greets is that once the momentum

of you mentioning therapy on the podcast started to accumulate, I noticed that people would say to you in the meet and greet line, they thanked you for being open about therapy and many people were saying that they started going to therapy for the first time and you had a big role in that. That was really encouraging to me.

So I guess to pound the pavement a little bit, how did you feel about that? You know, I actually- I don't know if pound the pavement's the right thing. I don't think it is, but I told my therapist about, I think, I can't remember when it was, but it may have been that summer tour, and I was like, hell, I think, I can't remember when it was, but it was, it may have been that summer tour and I was like, hell, I wanna let you know that

I had more than a few people come up and say that, you know, they were happy that I had been so open about therapy and kind of removed the stigma a little bit for them and now they were going to therapy and it was helpful or whatever. And my therapist started crying. they were going to therapy and it was helpful or whatever. And my therapist started crying. And then again, after we got back from this most recent tour,

I was like, man, I just wanna let you know, people keep saying it. I'd say in a meet and greet line of 100 people or whatever, there's three or four people who will mention this and he started crying again. He's like, that means so much. That just means so much. Yeah, so I mean, yeah, that was,

it was very special because I think that I definitely thought that therapy was for people who had some diagnosable mental condition. Okay. Yeah. I really, well in one sense I think we all have something diagnosable but I think it's just.

Well I didn't wanna say that because it was gonna seem like I was cutting on you but yeah I think you definitely do. But I think that yeah it's just the way that I see it and now understanding that there's so many people. Basically, I know everybody's not in a position to afford it or have the time for it or whatever, but it's just this like, it's as essential

as going to the doctor for a physical. Which would you give up first, the lacrosse ball or therapy? I thankfully don't have to make that choice. You can combine the two, save a little time. I think if I didn't have the lacrosse ball, then maybe the problems would become insurmountable and therapy would just wouldn't put a dent in them.

You're talking like Pavlov's hierarchy of needs. Yeah, I'm just miserable. Yeah, but so I've got some clarity and who knows what's gonna happen in 2020. I mean, I will say my hair and my beard will continue to be longer. Don't make any commitments. It's already.

Because you don't have to. It's really. Take it day to day. I am already a little bit tired of it. But you know. Okay, well, okay. But I'm not gonna, I'm not stopping anytime soon. Listen, it's not admitting defeat to get a haircut

or a beard trim. I'm not gonna do it. There's no judgment from me. I'm not gonna say anything. I'm not gonna say ha! I have not reached my final form yet. You know what? Do whatever you wanna do.

And I also have not experienced what I think are, I have not actualized. You're not ugly enough. Okay. You gotta get uglier. Well that's gonna happen. Is that what you're saying? No, I'm just saying that I'm not gonna cut it anytime soon.

Hey, hey, hey. It hasn't accomplished its purpose yet. And I have nothing to say about it. Okay, what's your number whatever? I you know what I will say though, I do have something to say about it. I don't have a therapist. 2019. That's what 2020 is about.

2019 has been the year for me to continually say that I'm going to find a therapist. Right. And it hasn't happened. So, but I'm very much in favor of it, so I've got a couple of names. Yeah, so I'm trying to find. Oh really? Yeah, I'm trying to find somebody. I'm not your guy, because I just don't think that's,

that would not be a good idea. We need some separation, right? Right. But I will take a recommendation, so you should ask. I have asked. Did you tell me? He doesn't have a recommendation? He had this look and he was like,

man, okay, I really feel like I gotta get somebody really good. Oh yeah, don't let him. And that was where we left it. Ask him again. Okay, he didn't wanna give. And that was where we left it. Ask him again. Okay, he didn't wanna give you somebody that wasn't good. I kinda want someone who's not good though. Who wants someone who, you know what I want,

I'm looking for a therapist who's not really good. No, I'm not. All right, tell me, give me a good one. All right, I did. What number am I on? I'm on number six. Number six for me is the London trip that Christy and I took with Lily for her 16th birthday

to the land of Harry Potter. That really is what it seemed like. We did so much Harry Potter stuff. And again, I talked about it in a whole episode. But it's one of those things that I think, again, it was a great trip, but it was special because it was just the three of us. We may never go on a trip just the three of us again.

So I'll always remember that. I can remember a lot of the specifics, which I've already talked about. So I won't go into it, but I'm so grateful that we did that. With all of these things, we talk about these trips and all this stuff, I'm so grateful that we have the means to go on so many freaking trips and do so many things. It's like, I almost feel guilty.

The way it's like, well, when I went to Thailand, that only made it to number nine. It's like we're so hashtag blessed. But I'll just leave it at that. I'm not gonna apologize, I'm gonna be grateful. And I'm very grateful for that London trip. That's my number six. My number five is also related to my oldest child.

So Locke and I have a thing we'd like to do together. We'd like to watch horror movies. And this year, you know, the past couple years, I've felt a little bit guilty about watching horror movies with him because he was like 13, 14, but now he's 15, he's a man. At this point you can't really screw him up. And so we watched Hereditary together which. I'm not gonna say that.

For the final 45 minutes of that movie we were just curled up on a couch like holding one another. And we've watched many horror movies together and we've kind of like found our thing. We're like very, we're very similar and sometimes our similarities can create some tension. But we've kind of found that like this is something that we both like to do and it is exclusive to us

because Jesse's not into it and Shepard like has to be in his bedroom with the door on and music, door closed and music on in order to be able to, like he's not interested in any of this stuff. Even though he's got a dark sense of humor, he does not want to experience anything directly dark in a movie. So it's kind of our thing,

because I don't really have any, other than my friends that I coerce into watching horror movies with me on my birthday, I don't have people who wanna watch horror movies with me. So that's been a special point of connection for us that I'm like, okay, we got a lot of horror movies to watch in the next two and a half years while he's still here.

It's nice to have things that you both enjoy, you know, and especially if they initiate, like Lincoln talks to me about like the latest hip hop release, because he's into that. Lily, the other night, I was talking last week about waiting up for Lily for her to get home and when she got home, we spent like 45 minutes going through the memes that she had pinned

on her Pinterest account, because I was just like, you have to explain this to me. Like, we're both into the same comedy. But that's not my number five. My number five, this is a tough one. This was, again, I devoted an entire episode, I believe, to talking about this, so I don't have to rehash all the details,

but when mom and my not stepdad, or father-in-law, Louis, showed up and then he was immediately transported to the hospital where he almost died. I mean, that's something that I will never forget for all the reasons that I articulated. And then last week I filled you in on how Louis went back home and for the rest of the year,

he continued to struggle to regain his footing, literally as well as figuratively. So it was like, I mean, that was a big moment. I feel like I changed as a person. I feel like there was a lot that I took away in terms of empathy and care. I was, a large part of my relationship with my mom was defined by her having to care for Louis

for the rest of the year. We would talk multiple times a week just to get an update and I would help her think through, you know, you get kind of in this fog when you're caring for somebody and you haven't, they haven't been at home for like months and months and they're on the verge of death and you're trying to figure out how to interact

with the doctors and how to be proactive and to be their main advocate. So she's bouncing a lot of this off of me and so it really defined our relationship. We never talked that much on the phone since I moved out. And it was very difficult, but it was also very meaningful. And I don't think if we hadn't have gone through together in person what happened with Louis here,

I don't know that I would have been able to have the level of empathy to connect with her over the phone. I think I would have been at a total loss if I just heard, mom calls me up and says, you know, Louis had a stroke, he's not doing well at all, and then she's giving me updates. You know what I'm saying? The fact that I went through that,

Christy and I went through that with her really changed and expanded my ability to be there as much as I could. It was still very frustrating because it was just over the phone until I saw them in July for that week we were in Buies Creek and then over Thanksgiving break. But that's my number five.

That was something I will never forget and I'm so grateful that he's on the road to recovery and he is back at home now, getting all types of therapy at home to get back on his feet. You're at number four. My number four is my other child. I didn't wanna put one

in front of the other. But you did. I put two of mine on the same one. I didn't wanna violate the rules of our little arrangement here and put both of them on the same line. But also, I put Shep, my experience with Shep higher because I think that my relationship with Shepard

actually had the most significant change this year. Shep and I, I think we realized some things about each other this year. We spent a lot of time together for a number of, you know, logistical reasons like, you know, needing to take him to school or like Jesse's like, I gotta go do this thing and you know, there was a, he ended up transferring out of the school

that he was in and then Jesse actually homeschooled him for a couple of months at the end of last year before he got into this new school. And that was not an easy decision. No. That was a big decision. And so, and he's like great right now. I mean, he's doing better than he's ever done. But there was, when he was being homeschooled,

of course, there was some days where it's like, you gotta take Shep to school to work with you because Jesse had to go do something. And so we ended up spending a lot of time together and we did, I think I talked about, you know, we went to, we would go to like parks together and we like went around trying to find that Fibonacci spiral and then I think a lot of that kind of culminated

in the trip that we took to Joshua Tree that I talked about. I talked about taking the trip, that I was gonna take the trip, but then I didn't tell you about the trip. I think I just put all the pictures from the trip on my Instagram and said that I would. But we had an incredible time when we went to Joshua Tree.

Went to Joshua Tree, camped at the same spot where I had camped a couple years before and took the same selfie, went to Salvation Mountain, went to Slab City, went to the Salton Sea together. And Shep and I have, like we are on the exact same wavelength when it comes to the way we experience music as an example. Like, you know, I've gotten this,

I've got this insight now into like, okay, I know that Shep is gonna like this. And like, so I'll be like, hey Shep, I got a new artist I want you to check out. And it'll be like Roy Orbison. Not exactly a new artist. And he loves it? Shepard will be in his room going to bed,

singing Roy Orbison, like he's playing pretty woman. Ha! Dreams and he, like, and I can see, I know when he's gonna like something. So I start playing Roy Orbison and he gets this look on his face like, what is this? And he just loves it. And then we kind of experience movies in the same way.

Like I'm a crier at movies. Shep is the same way and I kind of know the moments that he's going to be crying because it's the moments that I'm gonna be crying. But while we're going down the road, a lot of traveling involved in this trip to Joshua Tree, we started listening to the podcast that was my rec last week, Dolly Parton's America. I was kinda like, okay, he's 11.

He was enthralled. Really? And so we have sort of, like I said, it's not that Locke wouldn't be into those things in the same way, but especially Shepard at such a young age, finding that we connect with the same stories and music in that way. You find those things

that you can kinda bond over. And especially with the music, because I think about the music that my parents kinda introduced to me that kinda formed the way that I see the world in a lot of ways, you know? But it's kinda like what I was saying, it's cool to like the same things, but I also think you're describing something even deeper

and that's really understanding who our kids are as people. You know, I think, it would always feel a little foreign to me, I don't know if you feel this way, like I always felt like Christy really understood the kids. I mean, from a young age, I always felt like she totally understood who they were as people. It was like she could see the future

and see who they were gonna become. And I mean, she was so involved in so many, if not all aspects of their lives because they did homeschooling. Didn't you get that sense from Jesse too that like in a way that I just didn't understand, I just don't, I didn't have that deep knowledge of my kids in the way that Christy did at a younger age.

And I feel like what we're both describing is something that on our list this year is being able to really understand them as people, as fellow humans, not just as kids. But understanding what makes them tick and what resonates with their hearts kind of thing. Well and I think a big part of it is, I can't remember exactly how we worded this, but we talked about it in the book of mythicality

about finding something that you both like in the way that that engenders this connection. Yeah. You could just like, I get this, and if you get this in the same way that I get it, and it's like if you're seeing the color green the same way that I'm seeing the color green, which by the way is everyone, that's how the eyes work,

but it's like you get it and I get it, we get each other. And it's sort of that triangle that forms between a common interest and two people. And I think that our kids are just getting to an age where that's more likely to happen. And I don't know, you know, if the way that our wives have connected with the kids is just, it's from a different angle

that allowed them to connect in an earlier point. Well, I think it's a maternal instinct. allowed them to connect in an earlier point. Well I think it's a maternal. Well I think it might be maternal but it's also just a function of how much time that they have spent with them and they've literally schooled them. Right, so it might be like that we're just,

we're only willing to do things we really like to do so when they can finally do stuff like mountain bike with us then they can come along and we can have that sense of connection. Maybe there's a little bit of that but I don't. Well, I mean, I don't wanna overanalyze it but I do think that, I do think it's important to find those things

that you can do together and appreciate together. I mean, that's the way to, it's what friendships are made of. My number, let's see, my number three will bring us back to that. But my number four moment is our first Bleak Creek Conversation show in October. We were in Boston.

This was when our- This is my number two, but- Oh, really? But it- It is my number two, but. Oh really? But it. It's your number two? Well I put Bleak Creek, all things Bleak Creek, and I have like three pieces of that. Yeah there's three pieces.

There's the Bleak Creek Conversations Tour, there's the novel itself coming out, and then there's the fact that we went to Buies Creek for. The Buies Creek trip. We did like the docu-follow series where we went back to Buies Creek., we did like the docu-follow series where we went back to Buies Creek. Yeah, I remember too. So the moment that sticks out to me is

when we were on stage, and this was the first time in Boston that we did this, and we projected our trip to Buies Creek behind us, so we had the privilege of, the vantage point of being on stage and watching and hearing everyone's response to our trip back to Buies Creek. And it was, you know, the novel we worked so hard on,

we were so excited about it was coming out the next day. They already had a copy right there in their seats. They're reacting to us going back to Buies Creek. And the reaction was so thrilling to me. It was unlike, I mean, we've had a lot of really special experiences on tour, on stage, especially over this year. I feel like we've grown so much as performers

in a way that we never could if we hadn't toured so much and done the three different shows that we did. But that moment stands out because we were just there as spectators and they were reacting and then when it gets to the final one and we're like talking about renewing our blood oath and then the lights come up and we shake hands on stage and we say,

you know what, this right now, this book and what we're doing, the oath is fulfilled. It's a tangible fulfillment of the oath and everybody just started cheering. You remember that moment? Yeah. So that's the moment for me that's the culmination of the work of the novel,

us going to Buies Creek and how special that was, maybe deserving its own, I don't know. I could have emphasized that more on my list, but it's all in there. Yeah, and that first show, you know, it's interesting because I feel like the process of writing the novel, there was never a real moment just because of the way a novel comes together

and then there's the iterative process of editing and all the steps that lead up to the book coming out. There's no point that you can, there's nothing you can point to that really is a definitive moment in which you're like, we wrote a book. Right, right. And then there was the trip to Buies Creek,

which was really awesome in and of itself, especially like the swimming in the river. You know, I remember kind of being somewhat present for that but it was really the whole package of that coming together that night and seeing it in the context of the community of Mythical Beasts. To me, that was the definitive moment as well, was that show, was like seeing them respond to it.

And I was kind of, for the first time, watching it. We had watched all the pieces of it, but like seeing it together in context where we're talking about the book and it's right lined up with the day that the book, the next day the book is coming out. Yeah, it just felt like this is the way to do it. You know, we even said that when we were touring,

it was like, if you know, there's many reasons that we did the tour. Obviously one of them is, well, we're trying to sell more books, you know? But I think that that being the initial reason and be like, okay, this is a great way to sell more books, it became way bigger than that. Oh yeah.

And that it was like the connection with who we are and like this book being this perfect expression of who we are personally, but what we're trying to accomplish professionally and then being able to do that in the context of community in this package of this film. Yeah, that was a special moment. That's why it was number two for me.

So, and what do you, are you singling out a part of it, making it your number two? You know, I mean, I said going to the river during the trip was very special, but no, it's really, I think that Boston show, that first show was, because, you know, and quite honestly, even though they were all very special shows, by the time, even the second show,

even the New York show, the night that- We weren't surprised by any reactions because the points when people are gonna laugh- There's nothing like that first time that you, especially when you're showing a film, basically. Right, right. It's different than a concert. But being, I mean, the actual being

in Buies Creek part of it, I'm glad that you put it at number two and I'm glad that you couched it that way because, and I kinda wish I did because it was very, it was very special being there, like literally being in the river, like that moment. I think, because we had crossed, we had searched for the tree and then when we were coming back across,

we were like, do we have time to just swim for a minute? And like, they were like, well, we gotta keep moving. You know, we gotta, we're gonna go, we got a lot of stuff we need to film. We're like, we got a couple of minutes, you know? And they still filmed it, which is part of the thing, but that was more of like, this is us just doing what we did just because we wanna do it.

We've come this far to come back. Right. That is a big moment when we jumped in the water hole. So it should be your go. So now it's my number three. Okay. So my number three is my Scotland trip. I did the week in Scotland with all the McLaughlins

that kind of culminated in my mom breaking her ankle at the Lachlan Castle and then later realizing that I'm Irish. I mean that has got to go down. I mean I said it then I'll say it again now. It's like, I mean that's a big, I think that's the biggest moment on the air biscuits, that moment where you said that. Ridiculous.

But yeah, you know, the reason this one is very high on the list is probably obvious in that it was, you know, this was something that I thought about a lot. I was like, one day I'm gonna take my family to their ancestral land, which really isn't their ancestral land. Let me clarify, we are gonna do a follow up.

I don't know if it's gonna be a full podcast. We have gotten more information about this. You've got information as well, but you haven't analyzed any of your information. Right. It isn't that I'm not Scottish, okay? It's kinda difficult to differentiate between Scottish and Irish.

But I kinda want it to be that you're not Scottish because now. But I'm definitely more Irish than Scottish. Yeah, now you need to do it all again. I can do the same thing in Ireland, yeah. So you're freaking number two on your list, you have a baked in other number, okay, number three. You got a baked in number three years from now.

Just do it again for Iowa. I don't know if my mom will travel with me anymore. Because you broke her ankle. Yeah, but you know, it's interesting because. Remember that? When my mom did the lie detector thing with your mom over a year ago. Yeah.

And in that video, she basically said, I wish you would call me more. And then I started calling her more. I don't know if I caught, I haven't kept up with every two weeks like she asked me to, but it's significantly more than it was before that. And we continued to talk quite a bit leading up to that trip and then of course when she broke her ankle,

we were in even more regular contact. And she's actually had a couple other medical issues this year, nothing like super serious but stuff that's kind of trying and annoying. But her ankle is basically better. That's great. But so, and from her perspective, you know, she sees it as a blessing that it happened

and the way her community came around her and it actually led to her discovering some other things that she needed to take care of that she's dealing with. But yeah, you know, But yeah, that group, all the McLaughlins, we definitely never traveled together, but haven't spent a lot of time together. So there was my brother and my dad and I being able to play golf at St. Andrews.

That was like a really special day. That may be like one of the coolest parts of that whole trip. But there was a lot of those moments of us doing falconry together and then going to the castle right up until the moment when my mom broke her ankle, it was beautiful, it was perfect. But then after she did break her ankle,

us kind of coming together and having to figure out, well, what are we gonna do now? How are we gonna handle this problem? So it was definitely one of the most memorable trips of my life and probably the last time that that group, I mean, you know, now we've got my oldest nephew, he's gonna be in college next year. So it's probably the last time that we'll,

just that group will be together for that period of time doing something like that. Yeah, so I think it, I do think that it was one of the reasons that kind of the communication and just the nature of my relationship with my family continues to evolve, like you kind of hinted at earlier

on the Thanksgiving podcast, on the last podcast, just the nature of like, it was different now that we're out here and the level of involvement, you being able to be with your mom and Louis when that happened and it kind of changed the dynamic in the way that you talk to them. Yeah. I feel like being there, being together for that length of time and then being there when mom encountered that problem,

it's kind of changed the nature of our dialogue. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. In a way that I think wasn't really the case. Like once you're on the other side of the country, even though you can just pick up a phone and talk at any time, because you're not in each other's lives,

it does change the nature of your relationship. And that's your number three? That's my number three. Oh, wow. Because my number two is what I already covered, which is my Bleak Creek stuff. Okay, got it. And then my, so my number three is the summer tour

where Lily and Lincoln were able to come along for the ride, literally riding on the bus, sleeping there at night, you know, helping roll up posters. I think at least technically they helped out a little bit. But it was, when we toured after that, I remember being backstage and I would just miss them not being there. You know, that's why I would like get on video chat

and talk to them, you know, when we were backstage because it was special to have them there and for them to be invested in something that their dad was working on was really cool. And for them to think it was cool enough. Lily talks a lot about how it's like, I really loved going on tour, I miss that. And Gary was like, you've got the tour bug.

But they both, I like to think that it's one of those things that would make their top 10 list of the year. And I could, again, it's meaningful when you can tell that it's meaningful to them. So it was a lot of fun to travel with them that way and to treat them more as part of the crew than my kids. So I think it helped change the way that we interact and the way that they see me and the things

that they'll choose to talk to me about and the way that they'll talk to me. Like I remember the specific conversations that we would be having that then they would feel much more comfortable interjecting and like the way that you and the kids would get into it with each other, something that was very special to me because I could tell that they kind of rose to the occasion of being treated

more as adults and part of the crew. So that was special and that was my number three, which brings you to your number one, so should I share my number two? Sure. To save your number one? Yeah. Okay, to even it out, I'll give my number two,

which was performing at the Ryman in Nashville. Well, that was my number one. Oh, well, that's perfect. Okay, so I still haven't, my number one, but okay. Well, I'll let you take the lead on it since it was your number one. We've talked about how meaningful it was being to go to the hallowed grounds of country music,

place where Merle had performed, and then to perform the two Merle songs that we ended up covering and then putting on the record for the Mythical Society. That was just, it was a perfect show in a lot of ways. Right, I mean, as I mean, we've had really good crowds and all the crowds are really good. But sometimes you get just a really special engaged crowd.

I think they could tell how special it was to us and it was like they were sharing something that they knew was so meaningful to us. Yeah and it's just, you know, venues are different and that place is, it's special not just because of the history but literally the physicality of the rhyming, the acoustics, the fact that you can hear everything

that everyone says and does and it just feels like all the energy is focused right there into the middle. And the reason it was number one for me And the reason it was number one for me is because when we were performing those Merle songs, and many times that night, I had this really overwhelming sense that, I actually remember thinking of like, it doesn't get any better than this.

While it's happening, you're thinking this. Yeah, yeah, from like a dream come true standpoint of performing, doing the thing that we're, you know, we do, performance for us could be one of many different things, right? Yeah. We do a lot of different things. But doing the concert, it's like, okay, this is us at, for lack of a better word, our professional peak, right? Yeah. We do a lot of different things. But doing the concert, it's like, okay,

this is us at, for lack of a better word, our professional peak, right? Doing what it is that we love to do with each other for this audience that's completely engaged in this place, and then it just hit me as like, Ann, you know what, you're really enjoying it right now. Like you're really taking it in. In a way that I just don't do.

I mean a lot of these things on the list may be more ultimately meaningful or impactful because they're to do with my kids or my wife or my family back in North Carolina. But it was really difficult to narrow those down to one particular moment where it felt like everything just sort of came together in this weird, almost mystic, cosmic moment.

And that, I mean, we've had some great moments on stage where it was like, okay, this ridiculous bit becomes something that you could never have written, but it just happened and now it's a special moment in time just for those people who came to that show and it'll never happen like that again. Right. But that was the one that I felt like

I was fully present for. Yeah, I remember looking at you and then when we were singing the Merle songs with Britton, like looking at Britton too, it's just like having, especially when he had the guitar solo, because it was like, I didn't have to do anything. Yeah, I mean, you had to keep strumming along, but like, that was a very easy moment to like,

okay, there's no pressure of performance for me. I'm like, I can, I was looking, I was looking at how much fun you were having. He was into it. It's like, you just, that's the moment where I was really savoring and taking it in. And we talked about it on stage and like, it became the, us experiencing it became the experience

for the audience. So like they became a part of it and it was just a cycle of energy. Yeah, it's weird because it's like, it's the one moment I can point to on here where I can actually remember what it felt like. Yeah. Whereas everything else, I can kind of remember

what happened and how it makes me feel now. But I can almost like transport myself back to that moment. I was like, it registered. I was like, oh, this is, this moment is hitting me right now. Whereas typically you're doing something like camping with your kid or whatever and you're like, this whole thing is awesome and I'm having a great time.

And this moment where we're listening to this podcast and I'm realizing that this is a good thing, we're bonding, et cetera. But it really is the sort of taking it and distilling it later as a memory. But it was like, no, it was in the moment. And it really only happened, it's the one I can point to.

It's the one time I can point to that being the case. Well, I mean, when you talk about therapy and like being able to get more in touch with your feelings, I do think that's an aspect of it. You know, I feel like there are. I think so. I feel like there are moments throughout the list when I can re-access the feelings I had

and feel a bit emotional about a number of these things on the list, but yeah, I mean, that was a special one. And it's cool because it, you know, people talk, when you talk about country music or like, performance venues, it's like it pops up, you know, watch the Ken Burns documentary on country music, and it's so much of it is about the rhyme. And it's like, wow, I performed on that stage, you know,

it's like, it comes out of the woodwork a lot so there's always an occasion to be grateful that we were on that stage again, which is really cool. Yeah. Yeah, so that's, I mean, that was a number one worthy experience for me but if I'm gonna get to my number one, this one's related to Christy.

This is a milestone that she experienced that for me was just vicariously through her. So a little backstory, I'm trying to remember how much of this I've shared on the podcast. I think I've only shared, I'm trying to remember how much of this I've shared on the podcast. I think I've only shared, I've shared the fact that like Christy has, she suffers from post-concussion syndrome. So it's basically she has daily symptoms,

invisible symptoms that originated over three years ago when she was walking into the grocery store and she stepped up on a curb and just that simple step up, she hit her head, the very top of her head on a tree limb that then she sustained a concussion. She was never knocked out, she never lost consciousness but she sat back down in the car and gathered herself, ultimately went to the emergency room

and got checked out and certified as okay, but that she did sustain a concussion and that needed to watch it. A couple of weeks later, which turns out is common with concussions, that there was like, she took a nosedive, metaphorically, I mean, in terms of her symptoms, got a whole lot worse after two weeks.

And then, lo and behold, fast forward three years later, she still has, like I said, symptoms every single day of what she calls brain fog, where it's like, like your head is floating, you have trouble concentrating. She's had a lot of issues with balance and it's just dramatically impacted her moment by moment quality of life. And it's one of those things that it probably took,

it took over a year to come to grips with the fact that she has this condition, this catch-all label where you really don't know what's going on within the mystery of the brain and there's nothing you can do to just fix it. You know, there's lots of things you can try and she was trying all types of things. But she went on a friend of ours podcast

and I think that may have been the first time that I mentioned any of this was when, as a recommendation, I said, you should listen to the Ask Science Mike podcast, episode 180 called Living with Brain Injury with Christy Neal. So if you wanna look that up, she in her own words, shares her entire story. I think that was in, that was the middle of the year.

So up into that point, you get her story. So again, I recommend that you listen to that. If you know someone who's sustained a brain injury or you are suffering from one, listen to Ask Science Mike episode 180. So she, you know, I was so proud of her in that moment where she was able to share her story and redeem a lot of the pain that she's experienced

over the years and hardship she's been through and being able to share the strength that she's found in the midst of such a difficult condition. And the response has been overwhelmingly positive and she was so encouraged, we're all very encouraged to hear everyone's response to it. And then she was doing lots of things and going to see all types of doctors

to try to continue to get better and slowly, very slowly over time, she's seen gradual improvement. But I still have an innate sense if I go into a space that's really loud, I kinda know the decibel level with which Christy can't be there. There's too much sensory input. Or I can look at her face and tell when

there's too much going on that she's having a brain overload that she needs a break or that she needs to step away from the group that we're with. I'm sure you and Jessie also have picked up on a lot of this, but at a certain point, it's the type of thing that you don't wanna keep asking every day, how are you feeling? Because every day it's, I feel like I feel the same

or I feel horrible, I feel worse. There's never, it doesn't seem like there's ever many days where it's like, I feel better, a little bit better. It's this trajectory that if you map it over three years, you realize I can do things that I used to couldn't do. But there's never one day that you ask and decide, well, that was amazing. I actually feel fine.

It just didn't happen, it never happens. So at a certain point, you stop asking because you don't, you know, it almost, it feels like it makes it worse to ask when after years of the answer being something negative that you're gonna get that again. So it's kind of sparing her having to articulate by asking and she doesn't wanna share and she puts on, she puts on the positive face

and she goes on with her life because she's got the strength to do it. But then there's a silent condition that's with her every second. And it's not the type of, so, I mean, that's, and then when we went to Thailand, and honestly, I think one of the reasons why the Thailand trip in retrospect is like lower on my list,

just to kind of make a little sense of that, is the fact that it was difficult for her when her symptoms kind of flared up, especially when we got back. So from when we got back from Thailand for weeks, it was like, it felt like she had taken a lot of steps back. Like she was feeling horrible every single day. Again, there's no, you can't point to any one thing,

but it's like there's, maybe it's the time change, maybe it's all the heat that we endured there. It's like, you really don't know. But she was just doing worse. And it, but it kind of led her to redouble her efforts to find other things that she could try in order to experience some relief. It was very discouraging when after two and a half years or more, things are getting worse,

you feel like instead of better. But it's tremendous credit to her that she started going to new places and changing her regimen. One of the things that became a part of her regimen was getting in a hyperbaric chamber where they put you under four PSI and you stand there for like an hour.

They said do it like 40 hours and then we'll see how you're doing. You do 40 more hours in this tank. And the science says that when you're put under that amount of pressure, it increases the oxygen concentration in your blood and basically enhances healing of whatever the case, whatever needs healing. Right.

Lot of athletes use it, a lot of people like burn injuries, all types of injuries. So that was a drastic thing. I went on eBay and found a used one and bought it to put in our bedroom. So she could get into that thing because with such a hectic lifestyle, like traveling halfway across LA to get in one

and pay a fee to get in there, it just made more sense to get one. And I'm not gonna say that is the thing that made her start to feel better solely because there were other things that were changed as well. And again, she didn't talk about this on Ask Science Mike because we didn't have it yet. That was before the Thailand trip.

But anyway, we do think it was a major contributor to her starting to feel better over the last month or so, couple of months. And so my number one thing on my list is when we were wrapping up the tour, I can't remember if I texted her first, but I got her on the phone and she said, I did ask, how are you doing? Because it's not like I never asked.

It's just hard to ask. And she was like, I felt great today. And then the next day she was like, I feel great today. Then the next day she didn't feel as great, but there were two days in a row where she said, I felt normal. Like it was for the first time in three years, she felt normal and it was, you know,

I'm getting emotional just talking about it because I mean, ironically, my number one thing of the year is something I wasn't even there for, you know, I was, you know, wrapping up the tour a couple of weeks ago. But it's been a difficult year in the sense that feeling so hopeless to do anything to help her and also to help mom, you know, it's like the second half of the year,

I just find myself in the position of being someone who's very close to a lot of hurt. And it's, you know, it's just, it's been difficult. So it was great to see Louis back at home over Thanksgiving. And it was really great to get Christy on video chat and to see her face and to tell that I could see it on her face for the first time in three years that she felt good.

And it gave us hope that, yeah, you know what? Yesterday she had a migraine. She doesn't get migraines. Like, and then today she's like, I still feel horrible. I feel like I have a hangover from having this migraine, which, you know, again, we don't know why, and it's, but we have but we can look to these two days and say, there was this milestone.

We can cling to that and say, somehow we got there and let's add some more days to that. Let's keep moving forward. And let's add some more days to that. Let's keep moving forward. So to me, that's the, because it obviously defines her life and it spills over to my life and the kids and everybody that is close to her,

but just to be able to see her have relief was huge. So that was my number one. Well, thanks for sharing that. Yeah, and I think even talking about it, like, again, to go back to the beginning of this, I'm grateful that we have this exercise where we can stop and say, let's try to remember, let's try to remember the things that we've been through

to be grateful and to know how things impact who we are as people and to be grateful that we have so many opportunities to have so much fun and to have so many things that are rewarding. And even the negative things, like what happened to your mom or what Chrissy's been going through or all of those type of things shape us

into who we are. And it's not just what life throws at us, but it's how we respond to it. Yeah, I think, you know, I think that the idea, I mean, it's almost cliche at this point to talk about like being in the moment and being present, but I feel like thinking through these moments

and the things that were the most memorable, the most meaningful throughout the year and realizing that there were a number of them that as they were happening, it wasn't registering. Yeah. And I don't know, I don't really know what can be done about that. You know, and to some degree it's like,

at some point you might be a little bit, it might be difficult to deal with if you're just like, every single time you're experiencing something, you like get quiet and you, and everybody tries to talk to you like, I'm experiencing the moment right now. Then you'd just be a weirdo. But I do think that there is something.

Maybe that's okay. There is something to, there's just something to having an awareness, to use an overused term, to have a mindfulness about what it is that's happening to you. And if you can. And processing it. Or, well I won't say or, I'll say and reflecting on it.

You know, that's why I'm grateful for this because it gives us an occasion to look at the whole year and reflect on it and say that, that moment was even more pivotal than I realized or had the capacity to realize. You know, there's the moments, I think you're talking about the things like being on stage at the Ryman,

it's like, yeah, if you just pause for a second, we would know and we did that it was kind of career defining for us. It was so meaningful to us. But then there's some things that blindside you and then you're just reacting or you're going, you're doing the best you can, but then taking the time to reflect and process and say,

what did I take away from this? And for me, I'm glad so many of these things on our list, almost everything was captured in this podcast. I think Ear Biscuits is first and foremost, it's for us for that reason, you know? And then secondarily, it's for you to take from it whatever you'd like. And I think that's why I cherish it so much because it institutionalizes reflection

as a part of our lives. And we can always do more of it and it doesn't have to be on mic. Well, and I do think it's the one, we get to live our dream, we get to do what we want to do, right? And that kind of applies to every single aspect of our professional lives.

So we're making the decision to be like, okay, today we are gonna eat these particular testicles of this particular animal. Like we're making that choice. Right. And loving every minute of it. But I would say almost everything that we do can easily become work, right?

It's like, oh, this has become work. But I think since we changed the way that we approach this podcast, I mean, I'll be honest with you, when it was an interview with somebody, it was work for me. Yeah. It wasn't that we didn't have meaningful conversations

with people, but it was like, I'm performing right now. I've gotta do this research. You gotta understand who you're talking to and ask these questions. But now this is just, we're just a conversation. And it is the one thing that we do that feels the least like a job. And I do think it's therapeutic.

Until you go to real therapy, this can be your therapy. And I'm not. I don't think that's healthy. I'm not licensed, I'll say that right now. We won't go that far. I'm just a dude who needs therapy, who's been to biweekly, and I don't mean twice a week, I mean every two weeks,

therapy for a couple of years, but I'm not licensed, so you know what, that's the final frontier, man. What? When you're in therapy. Think about when we're both in therapy, what that's gonna be like, man. Yeah, we should, that'd be good. Well, we'll talk, I'll keep you posted.

But you know, thank you for listening. Hashtag Ear Biscuits, let us know, I don't know, let us know what struck you, what you thought about these things that we shared. This Ear Biscuit was a little bit longer, but hey, we're taking a break. Just a little bit longer. Two weeks? Two weeks, we'll be back on January 6th.

Two weeks, so. Yeah, and you know, thank you for, to those of you, I'm not saying that you don't all get it, but when I was talking earlier about getting something, you know, like me and Shep would get this thing, we'd get each other. Many of you have made it very clear,

both when we met you in person, but also via the online devices, such as the Twitter and whatnot, have made it very clear to us that you get what we're doing here on Ear Biscuits and recognize that it is special to us. I'm not saying from like an artistic standpoint like this is like an award-winning podcast but I think what you do understand is that

it is legitimately just us kind of having a conversation about life. Yeah. As it happens. And you know, and let, thank you, we appreciate you appreciating that. It means a lot because we like having these conversations, but we can't do it without you because,

I mean, we could talk. Yes, we could. No, we could talk, I'm saying, we could just talk to each other. Yeah. But we wouldn't record it and have it being produced into something unless you had the inclination to enjoy it. So thanks for being there for us.

In another year, 2019, you did it. We did it. We did it, we did it together. Let's do 2020 together. Okay. Do you wanna close the year on a wreck or do you wanna skip over that? Because I mean there's a lot of pressure on this being a really good wreck

because it's gonna live out there for a couple of weeks. If it's a bad wreck, you might as well keep it to yourself. I'm gonna close with a wreck. Okay, all right, here we go. I recommend this album, you know, it's a bad wreck, you might as well keep it to yourself. I'm gonna close with a wreck. Okay, all right, here we go. I recommend this album, you know, it's like, no. I recommend that you, it took discipline to prepare for this. It took some time. You know, I didn't wanna do it at a certain point.

I was like, oh gosh, this seems like work. I'm like looking through my photos, but I'm actually thinking, I'm like racking my brain to like remember things that happened. I recommend doing it. We've said all the reasons why. So if you're on the fence, just carve out some time, 30 minutes, just like look back through your photo reel,

your journals, your calendar. That's a good idea. Be one of those people that like, some people they write the family newsletter and then they send it out to everybody. I knew people who used to do that. I don't know any people currently who do that. But do it for yourself.

You know what, just make a list. A family dinner. And share it with your people. I think, again, my kids are gonna hate it. They're gonna hate it. They're gonna be like, Dad, this is so dumb. Maybe start with top people. I think, again, my kids are gonna hate it. They're gonna hate it. They're gonna hate it. They're gonna be like, Dad, this is so dumb. Maybe start with top four.

Top four things. There's gonna be doors slammed. There's all kinds of stuff's gonna go down. But I'm gonna tell my kids, my wife will definitely be into this, that you gotta come up, I'm just gonna say, everybody's gotta come up with their top three moments of 2019 and we're all gonna share.

And one of them has to do with your dad, at least one. Right. All three could. Maybe two, two out of three. Maybe two. Two out of three have to be about dad. But. Ha, three, yeah, this is a good idea.

Yeah. This is like. And then you have this awesome family dinner at Chuck E. Cheese? No, no, you're at home. At home. You need to be at home. Yeah, you need to be at home. You need to be at home. Hashtag Ear Biscuits.

You know what, enjoy the rest of your year. Good luck with that if you wanna do it and we'll see you in 2020. 2020.