Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 250: Our Quarantine Vacation Mishaps | Ear Biscuits Ep.250

Episode Date: August 10, 2020

Bloody ice cream, an unexpected addiction, and a thrown out back. These are just some of the happenings that R&L encounter on their vacation. Listen to the guys catch up on their isolated vacations, a new Rhett obsession, and even a never-before-heard backstory behind Commercial Kings - all on this bonus-filled episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I mean, not that long. You know, about an hour. Just long enough.

That's a long time for an ant. And who are you? I'm Rhett. There you go. See, you forgot that part. You did screw it up. No, you interrupted me. I didn't. You said- I could tell in your eyes you weren't going to say your name.

You said, not that long of a time. What's your name? I interject't. You said- I could tell in your eyes you weren't gonna say your name. You said, not that long of a time, what's your name? I interjected. What if we had, what if it was a custom, like a cultural custom in America that you could only say your name when asked? I kind of feel like- Kind of like a vampire could only enter when invited. Yes, I feel like that would be a good societal rule

because instead of people coming in and be like, I'm Rhett, it'd be like, I only wanna know your name if I ask it. What's your name? And I'm Link. This week at the round table of not as dim of lighting because we're still in the alternate creative house location.

Maybe permanently, I don't know. We are discussing, we're bathing in the aftermath of our separate but equal vacations. Separate but equal vacations. Potentially identical vacations. I know we both went to beaches. We both endeavored to surf. We both took our families.

We both took our families. We both came back with one less family member. Ooh, that's a tease. No, I took a head count before and I took a head count. What if that was the case? I always take a head count. Oh crap, you're right. I left Shepherd.

I'm like a chaperone counting heads on the pulse. Well, I have an extra family member right now because we have a, Locke has a friend who's been living with us for, I don't even know how long it's been now. So I know what it's like to have three kids. I've had three kids for two months. Is he pulling his weight?

He does more than both of my children combined. Great. He's very helpful. Like what, like chores? I'm thinking about hiring him. So he does chores. He just is a more conscientious person than my kids. So you go-

And maybe it might be because when you're- You're trying him out for a trade. Yeah, can you do that? Sure. When you are at some, now this is what I've been told because a lot of times I have parents who come- I have parents too. Who come to me and they're like,

you know, Locke is so conscientious or he's really helpful and he's so polite and he's a great conversationalist and he offered to help with this and he said, thank you. I'm like, well, he doesn't do that at home? Mm-hmm. He's a jerk at home. I talked to, I'm not gonna mention any names,

but I talked to one of my children who happens to be one of the oldest one. Who happens to be one of the oldest or the oldest one. You know, we have the discussions like, hey, I want you to treat me like you would treat your friends, like at least at that level. I'm not asking for the respect of a parent all the time,

I'm just asking for the respect that you would all the time. I'm just asking for the respect that you would give any other human being. Wow. Just a minimum. Yeah. Of respect. Yeah, it's like, what I say is, I hope you don't treat your friends this way.

Ooh, I get that. I don't wanna talk about this anymore because I'll get in trouble. I'll get more of it. Yeah, so we had our vacations. We came back with more tan. Yeah, yeah, we did. And you know what?

I'm rejuvenated and baked. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm sunbaked. Well, and interestingly, so we usually go on vacations at the same time because our lives are in sync in a lot of ways. And if you go on vacation at a different time when I'm not on vacation, in a lot of ways and if you go on vacation at a different time when I'm not on vacation

and then that means why now I gotta go on vacation when you're not on vacation and that's two weeks of us not being together. Who knows what could happen in those two weeks. One might think that we should stagger our vacations in order to like, because there's a whole, other stuff that we give input on, it's not just being on camera together to run a company.

Correct. But we just do that remotely. And we have very trusted people who can handle it for a week, which is great. Maybe they can handle it for more. Maybe we just, what if we just, what if the default is vacation? I like where this is going.

I mean, let's face it, what we're doing right now is still another form of vacation. It is. We're just, you know, we're in a house. No man, this is work, man, look. We're working so hard. You got your Admiral hat on? Hey, I got a new hat.

That's one of the things I brought back. I didn't bring back another child, I already had one, but. On a scale? I did bring back a captain's Admiral. You call itiral's hat? I like that. On a scale of one to 10, just to get into this, how would you rate your vacation?

And then dive in, man. I got a lot I need to report on. I got a story. Oh, I got stories. I got angry. Oh. To me, I'll let you rate first, but when I rate my vacation, there's a corollary to how many times I got angry.

Either at other people or myself, or just kinda lost my cool or my peace. Oh man. That happened once. So I had a pretty good vacation, if I can only say that happened once. Well okay, so on a scale of one to 10. I'll tell you about it.

And I'm gonna say that an eight is like what you bring, the expectations that you bring into an expectation. Yeah, you don't expect a perfect. You know some things are gonna go wrong, but you're kinda hoping, you're usually hoping for about an eight. Like this is gonna be better than my normal life, right? Cause it's a vacation.

And then in like nine and 10, that would be like, I don't know if that's ever happened, right? Four. Oh gosh. I mean, you had a brightness in your eyes. I wouldn't ask the question. I mean, I thought I was lobbing you something to knock out of the park, man.

No, no. You freaking had a four? I had a four. That's not, I mean, it could have been, I mean. I had a seven. Oh, I mean, it's not a competition. I'm sorry. I mean, we should talk about the COVID of it all

before we get into vacation too much, because it's, I mean, we had planned vacations. That contributed to it. We had planned vacations. I mean, I was going to freaking Disney World with my extended family, and like the first few weeks of quarantine, of course that got obliterated.

And then I was gonna go home for July 4th and see the rest of my family, that got obliterated. I was gonna go up to Santa Cruz. I had booked a place up there. That was earlier on in quarantine, that got obliterated. And then it got to a point where it's like, I'm just not, you know, we're at home, we're gonna be at home, I'm gonna go into the office

the minimum amount of time with a minimum number of people and be absolutely as safe as possible. We don't go out and do anything. And when we do, we're doing the mask thing. I mean, all of that is still in full effect. Yeah, you're basically just staying at home. It's just a different home. So yeah, so we did like an Airbnb at the beach.

And so with like their cleaning certification, and then we just hunkered down there. And we went south and I mean, LA, at least right now, is it's one of the hotspots. So technically, technically leaving LA and hunkering down somewhere else, I mean, you're a little bit lower risk. This is a hotspot, man.

But we are high risk going into that place. So for the sake of everybody else, I still- But we're not, because we've been isolated here. Now, okay. So it's like just being at home, at the house that we rented, wearing a mask all the way to the beach to where we set up a spot that is then well-distanced,

beyond six feet from anybody else, and then getting in the water with just my family. I will say that a lot of- That was the game plan, that's what happened. A lot of my experience the entire time was, man, this would be really awesome if we weren't in a global pandemic. Like that's kind of, I was like,

oh, that restaurant would be cool to go into. That store would be cool to go into. This would be an awesome place to be, but there's this, you feel, you know, there's this, you're conscious of the fact that there's a pandemic going on. And so you never are super relaxed until you're like seated on the beach.

The process of getting to the beach, it's like, you're just kind of thinking about things that you typically don't think about. And so that's not what, I mean, that contributed to it not being as good of a vacation as vacations used to be before COVID, but the main thing that happened to me. Yeah, I can't bring you to a four because just be, I mean, we're blessed to be able to go on a vacation.

Yeah, yeah. And we know that. But the thing is, is that, I mean, we're blessed to be able to go on a vacation. And we know that. But the thing is, is that I have a problem. I've talked about it before. And I think this is pretty common. Like people, you tie expectations to things, whether it's a vacation, a project, whatever. But vacations are the things that most people tie

a certain level of expectation to. And you think about it and you fool yourself into thinking that like, oh, but when I go on vacation, that's gonna be a great week. Like, oh yeah, that vacation week at the beach, that, man, that's gonna be good. Because that's the point of it. And then I started thinking things like,

well, I gotta, what am I gonna do on the vacation? Because I wanna make sure that I'm doing the vacation well, right? And so then, so what my sort of expectation was, and first of all, I'm a lot more aware of this than I was say 10, 20 years ago, where I unconsciously went into situations with all these expectations and then I was disappointed. At least I've gotten to a point where I unconsciously went into situations with all these expectations and then I was disappointed.

At least I've gotten to a point where I know the way my mind works is you have these expectations, you need to set low expectations, you need to go with the flow, but I just find myself getting to the place where I've still got the expectations and the expectations for this vacation were, I want to actually, I wanna get a lot of surf time in.

I want to surf, but I also want to get my kids surfing pretty much for the first time. Locke had done a little bit earlier in the summer. And me and you stand up paddle board surf and I've had this secret hope to be able to do. You don't believe that counts. Well, the thing is is that there's lots of places in the world that if you go and you didn't bring

your big ass paddleboard with you, you just, you don't have an option to surf. And then there's also a lot of really cool breaks where you're not really supposed to, you're not even allowed to be on a standup paddleboard in some places. So I was like, I would just like to have that in my arsenal of abilities, the ability to like surf.

And I'm not talking about like, you know, hang 10 or catch big, I'm talking about like an old man on a long board, like just the bare minimum catching a wave. I get that, you want the versatility. So I was like, okay, San Diego, it's an easier surf town. You know, we were on various beaches

between LA and San Diego, but we were closer to San Diego. And it's just, it's easier to surf down there. It's less territorial. There's more places to surf. There's less people, whatever. So I was super excited about that. And we were like walking distance from a place that was a good place to learn.

And I took my long board that I bought this year down there. And day one, I go out and it's frustrating. Like it's frustrating when you know that you could be already standing up on a paddle board and surfing. Yeah. But you're sitting there trying to stand up and like not getting, not balancing,

falling off the board. It kind of reminds me when we decided to start snow skiing, even though we were both pretty decent at snowboarding. Exactly, I know how to do this. You have to invest like a whole ski trip just to learn how to do something where you could be enjoying it, doing the thing you already know how to do.

Right. So day one was pretty frustrating. There were a couple of moments of hope. And the reason you ski is because as you get older, it's like it's better on your. Well, it's harder on your knees, easier on your back for me. That's why I transitioned to skiing.

But. It's not good on the pelvis for me. And that's why I transitioned to skiing. But- It's not good on the pelvis for me. And that's why I transitioned to stand up paddle boarding because it's easier on the back for me. Case in point, day two, I go out and I'm gonna, I don't know exactly what is going on, but one of the things that has always happened to me, it used to happen before I would go on a vacation

or before there was a significant transition or in the midst of a transition, I would have my lower back act up and basically- Your back would go out. Go back to what I call my ground zero injury, which is related to my herniated discs. It's in a very specific spot on the left side of my spine. And then, you know, 10 years ago when this would happen,

even five years ago when this would happen, even five years ago when this would happen, I would be out, I would be in pain for months when this happened. Now I've gotten to a place where I can experience that injury and then a few days later, I'm pretty functional or whatever. And now a week later, because I'm about to tell you I did hurt my back.

But the second day I wake up and first of all, the X factor of any vacation is the bed, right? What is this bed gonna be like in this Airbnb? When you got a bad back, you're very sensitive to beds in general. And the softer the bed, the worse it is on your back. That's the case for a lot of people with back problems. I was like, man, this bed is unnecessarily soft.

I love a soft bed. And I was like- My bed was too hard. I could- We should've swapped. I almost slept on the floor for most of the time. But I didn't, I just took the, there's a mattress topper, I took that off after the second night. But got up that second day and I was like, man, my back is tight.

But I did my, you know, all my stuff that I do to loosen up. Locke and I go down to the beach and second wave standing up. And then I hear, I feel like, oh, there it is. Oh no, oh no, oh no. And then it's like a, it's a sharp pain, but then I'm like, okay, but no, I'm in better shape. Let me just go in.

I'm gonna do some stretches on the beach like an old man. So you rode two waves in the second one. Well, I didn't ride the wave. I was in the process of standing up when it went out on me. And then you fell over. Then I go, I swim in to the beach. I get on the beach, I do my stuff. And then it hits me very, very squarely and clearly,

you're not going back out today. And so I like wave at Locke and I'm like, I gotta go in. He was like, okay, he stays out there by himself. I walk back to the house carrying my board, which is not feeling great because I gotta walk like, you know, a quarter mile or so with this board. My back is hurting. Cause standing up on a, it's an explosive act.

Yeah. To go from paddling on your chest to like, to standing up on a board. I was trying to show Lincoln how to do that cause there were foam boards that happened to be at the place we stayed. Cause I don't own any of those. Cause you know, I didn want to make that transition,

but I'm like, hey, it's here. And I'm showing him on the beach how to stand up and it's explosive. It's- And there's twisting involved too. Yeah. You're supposed to be turning your hips. I don't know, I could imagine that it could really-

Well, but here's the thing. Ring your back. And you know, I was talking about this in therapy because- Physical therapy. I do, you know, I don't wanna get into too much woo and I don't really know exactly what I think about this, but I do know that there's a connection to emotional sort of pain and stress that manifests itself physically

in ways that we don't quite understand. Okay. This has just been proven many, many times. Like I told you, every time I get ready to go on a vacation or I'm in the midst of a vacation, there were many years where I would, my back would, I could feel it tensing up, right? Because it's like the act of relaxing

and it's very difficult for me to relax on vacation. We'll talk about that a little bit more lately, later. So I think the act of trying to relax a little bit plus the bed, plus the act of doing something, I don't know exactly what the pie chart is that contributed to it, but it was the perfect storm. But all that to say, I was immediately deflated, right? And again, and it felt like,

cause I was like- Can't surf the rest of the week. I was like, am I gonna be able to surf paddleboard at all? Am I gonna be able to surf at all for the rest of the week? And this is a very privileged problem, but also I was upset because the Airbnb, which came with a hot tub, the hot tub wasn't working. And they were like, we can't fix it while you're there

because the manufacturer said it's broken, it has to be replaced or something. So I was like, oh, I hurt my back. And I also can't get into the hot tub and make myself feel better. Wah, wah. So that's a four, you plummeted. Yeah, and I was like-

Was that lower than a four? And I was, no, well, okay. So when it happened to me, as I was walking back to the house, thinking about the fact that my expectations had been thwarted, I was like, of course this is what has happened, right? Because, what do you mean?

I'm saying that like- You think you deserve it? You deserve to be punished? No, no, it's not about being deserving, it's just like, this is the perfect gift from the universe for someone who is bringing this level of expectations. If what you really want to learn how to do is to accept things, to go with the flow,

to not have all these expectations tied up in your experiences, but to let things happen to you, to let things come to you as a, because even when I'm out there surfing, it's very difficult for me to have fun because I'm focused on doing it well. You know what I'm out there surfing, it's very difficult for me to have fun because I'm focused on doing it well. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, you gotta get up and you gotta catch this wave.

It's like I approach it like an athletic event versus like an enjoyable thing. Cause there's this part of me that's just like, you gotta get good enough at this before you can enjoy it. If you get good enough at it, then you can actually sit back and reap the benefits that the joy that comes from it. So long story short is my back got better enough

to stand up paddleboard. The very last day, I had a really good surfing day, caught a bunch of waves. It was kind of redeemed the experience. But the fact that my expectations were kind of ripped apart, I didn't learn how to do regular surfing. I wasn't able to surf even on a paddle board for two days after I hurt my back.

It was almost like the vacation was a lesson and lessons aren't fun. So it wasn't like, oh, I'm having an incredible time doing the thing that I thought I was gonna do. I'm really just kind of sitting here wishing that I was doing the thing that I thought I was gonna do. It's interesting you say lessons aren't fun, but so do you think that you would have enjoyed

your vacation more if you didn't see it as a lesson? That you just said, oh, I have an injury, now I gotta pivot to just watching Netflix the whole time I'm here. Well, no, when that's, and I'll talk about that later. I'm sure you. Because that is what I did, and that created another sort of weird

emotional experience too. Okay, dang, man. I'm very in touch with myself. But seeing it as a lesson, you said lessons aren't fun, but I actually think that this mindset of accepting what happened to you as something to learn from, didn't that help redeem it a little bit? No, yeah, yeah, it did, but it wasn't, you know,

it's like there's, I was. It wasn't fun in a recreational sense, but it was valuable. It's like the process, I was. It wasn't fun in a recreational sense, but it was valuable. It's like the process, I was reading this book where the woman was talking about the process of sort of transformation that takes place in people who are trying to change. And the process of change, she uses the analogy

of like leather, you know, tanning a hide. Okay. And like, you know, at first it's just really hard. It's not pliable at all. It's like a, you know, a big potato chip. It's like rawhide, like what you would give your dog to eat. But the process of tanning and stretching and hanging it up,

I don't know what happens to leather, but eventually it becomes nice and supple. But if you imagine yourself as this hide going through that process, you're being stretched and you're in the sun. It's not fun, but you're becoming what you're supposed to be becoming. And I know that's not what they, again, that's not what-

A seat for a cowboy's crotch. Right, that's not what vacation is. Vacation is traditionally like, it's a break from the norm. It's a time to relax. It's a time to, when you live a, yeah, we do, we have an incredible job. We're living the dream, but it's very busy. And there's constantly things that we have to engage with,

trying to disengage, which is difficult for me. For me, it was just that lesson of not getting what you thought you wanted, but getting what you actually needed. I'm just saying when you asked that question from on a scale of one to 10, I'm thinking the enjoyment factor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe the long-term value of it, it's a 10 versus if I had gone down there and learned how to surf and it was awesome, it would have been a one in the long-term value. But once the injury happened, seeing it through the lens of how can I grow here? It helps. Redeemed it. It redeemed it, but it wasn't enjoyable.

Okay, yeah, I get that. Because every day I was like, man, I wish I was surfing right now. And thinking that, oh, even when I do surf, I'm gonna have to be on the stand up paddle board. I already know how to do that. That's no fun. You know what I'm saying?

That's how I was thinking about it. Ironically, that's when it should be fun. Because that's what you said earlier. Right. That when you know how to, well, if it makes you feel any better, I also suffered an injury. Oh, good.

Yeah, I really did. You know, I tried to psych myself up to low expectations. I was like- Psych yourself up to low expectations. Yeah, for the same reason, because, you know, I always have an idea of what the perfect anything is, you know, and so there's this standard that I'm constantly trying to meet

and bring my family along to meet that same standard. So I was just telling myself, you know what? Which severely complicates it when other people, you're expecting other people. Definitely. It makes it even worse. So I'm like, you know what, this is very limited. We can't go out, we can't make a lot of plans

because we're either gonna be at home, we're gonna order takeout, and we're gonna go to the beach, and I'm not gonna put any timetable or we're not gonna make any big plans that require being anywhere at a certain time or anything like that. And it was the most laid back vacation I've ever been on for that reason.

I didn't even make the kids get up at a certain time. Oh, we gotta get on the beach. We gotta get a parking space. We're gonna be so far away. I'm gonna have to tote everything for everybody. I'm gonna have to make two trips, three trips and all this stuff I get worked up about. You know, it wasn't an issue.

There was parking, there was. Yeah. So it was definitely the most laid back vacation I think. And having those lower expectations really helped bring me to what I think I said a seven, but I did have an injury. I mean, the one, you know, I was like, I'm gonna eat all the foods I wanna eat. I'm gonna bring my Ben and Jerry's,

like Christy got this Ben and Jerry's stash, man. Even before we got to the beach, like we brought a cooler to make sure we had it. So like, we're watching, of course we're watching some Survivor. Once the Neos start, the Neos don't stop. Right, still on Survivor. Like season after season after season.

There's a lot, there's a lot more. Back to back, we're just watching it because I told you, you should have started earlier and watched them all, but no. There's other shows. You're the McLaughlin's. And I'm gonna tell you about that. You do it differently.

And I'm like, tonight's the night, I'm pulling out the Ben and Jerry's and I hurt myself eating ice cream. I mean, I'm talking blood. Oh, did you bite your fricking lip? No, I didn't get so excited that I started biting my tongue and my cheek and my lip and all this stuff that I do. I didn't do so excited that I started biting my tongue and my cheek and my lip and all the stuff that I do. I didn't do any of that.

I ate the whole ice cream and man, it was like, it was so good. And Christy was like, tonight dough. Did you only get tonight dough? Well, the number one on our taste test. You gotta get that at Target only. Yeah, I can't find it. So I'm enjoying it.

Christy's like, how much of that? Cause I had the pint. How much of that are you eating? And I like showed it to her and it was half gone. I was like, I'm stopping right here halfway, but this is my pint. There's another pint of the same stuff in there that y'all can share.

And there's some stuff that I don't like that y'all can have, but this is my pint and I'm eating out of it. One pint for the week. I mean, that's not going that hard. I also ate out of some of this. When you, cause you, when you thought about like, I'm going to eat whatever I want, I mean, for me,

that would be well, half a pint a night. Yeah, I didn't, I mean, I was eating lots of pizza, lots of Mexican food, lots of, I mean, I gained three pounds. Interesting. Like I actually did, yeah. I weighed. Cause I'm pretty consistent in my weight. But anyway, so I'm eating the ice cream, I'm enjoying it.

And when it's done, my mouth, which was very cold, all of a sudden I realized like my lip is hurting. And then I looked down and there's like some blood on my freaking Ben and Jerry's. Oh, well that's definitely yours. I hope it is. Don't share that with anybody. Yeah.

The bloody Ben and Jerry's is dad's. And I'm putting the last, taking the last bite out of my mouth and I'm realizing. I mean with a knife. I've been eating with a knife this whole time. I have, I think this is worse. I cut my lip with a spoon. The freaking, I was like,

I've cut my mouth with this spoon. Only Link Meal is capable of this. Right here on the side of my mouth. A man can cut himself with a spoon. I had cut. Gather round, $1 to mouth. A man can cut himself with a spoon. I had cut. Gather round, $1 to see the man who can cut himself with a spoon. Not only once.

Step right up. Two places. How? Well. It was a sharp spoon. Yeah, it was a sharp spoon. The edge of the spoon was sharp. Christy was like, oh yeah, sometimes, you know,

spoon goes down in the garbage disposal. It gets sharp. And then it gets, and like it'll like whack the edge a little bit. And I think that's what happened. So when I would pull the spoon out of my mouth, it would slice the edge of my, like where my lips come together

on the left side of my cheek. Why are you putting it so far to the side? I'm just, you know, I'm getting every last bit of ice cream out. And I slice. I feel a hundred people could eat with this spoon and you would be the one that would cut yourself with it. Two slices.

Oh God. And it wasn't just bleeding a little bit, brother. It was bleeding a lot. The mouth has a lot of capillaries. I mean, I had to run in there. I mean, I was like, man, am I gonna faint? I'm not gonna faint, I'm not gonna faint. I just grabbed a paper towel, I rolled it up like a cigar

and I put it in the edge of my mouth like galls. And then we finished Survivor. We finished Survivor. We had to pause it for Dad to save himself from the killer spoon. Yeah, so, I mean, I probably would have had an eight. You could still surf with that bloody mouth. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you.

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Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Well, okay, so I said four, but I want to talk about some of the, I want to talk about what I think was the highlight for me

because there was some good things happened, right? My mouth got better. The next morning when I woke up, my mouth got better. And this- The next morning when I woke up, my mouth was better. It heals very quickly because of all the blood flow. That's why it bleeds, why? And that's why it heals. But let me tell you, I inspected all them spoons

before I went back into the- Yeah, you gotta throw those sharp spoons out or just put them down the garbage disposal. Well, we washed it and I put it back in. I didn't feel good about throwing away a spoon. Just put a warning on it. Yeah, I feel bad about that now. So another of my expectations,

and maybe this sends it up beyond a four now that I think about it, because I was kind of just thinking about me selfishly. Again, I had an expectation that the kids would learn how to surf, right? Shepherd never has surfed. He's been on the paddle board with me, but he's never surfed by himself.

And Locke had been a couple of weeks before the vacation and had surfed near San Diego and had a good time. But the first couple of times we just went out with me and Locke and Locke's friend who's staying with us and- Sure boy. Yeah, the one who just, he carries everything for us. He doesn't. And it was really cool,

because first of all, Locke is better than me at regular surfing already. Because, you know. He's not saying much. Which by that, I mean, his ability to pop up when he catches a wave and actually surf it in. I'm not saying he's like turning and like all that, but he just, you know, he's an athletic kid

and just immediately just got it and popped up and was just riding these waves in and was having an incredible time and was like motivated to go out with me in the morning. Oh, that's cool. So, and now it's something that we could do together, which he's like, when are we going again? Like now that we're back at home.

So that was super cool to see him kind of catch something like that. And then we had one wetsuit that was a little bit too big for Shepherd and a little bit too small for Locke's friend. And so they would use this, they would share it. So he couldn't go at the same time and Shepard, speaking of sleeping late,

I mean, Shepard, the boy would sleep till one o'clock. Oh, wow. If you let him. My older kids can do that. And so- Lando's at 10, he will not do that. It will change soon. So, I mean, this has been like the last year or so

for Shepherd as he's like, you know, becoming, you know, he's about to turn 12. So the, but I was like, okay, Shepherd, we're gonna go surfing. Now I hurt my back on day two, still had not taken Shepherd surfing, but the next day I was like, okay, well I can't surf, but I can take you out there.

So me and Shepherd got up, we go out there and I got my wetsuit on and I'm like, I'm just gonna be in the water. I'm gonna do the things that I've seen other like surf instructors do, which is like what you said. All right, we're gonna get on shore, we're gonna put the board on the beach.

I'm gonna show him how to pop up, right? Okay, he gets that pretty quickly. Gonna go out there, you know, they can't really paddle yet enough to kind of get themselves in a wave, so you push them into a wave. Yeah. So I go out there and literally, like the second wave that he tried,

I push him into the wave, he stands up, rides it all the way into the sand. Yeah, he's so light and he's athletic and he's fearless. Yeah, he's not scared of anything. But being that light helps a lot too. Oh yeah, if I could just have started at that age, man. Start now, learn how to do things.

All you 12 year olds listening. No, no, I'm saying any sport where your distance from said thing that you're supposed to like be on, like surfboards, skis, snowboard, golf, your distance from the thing. The green, you're on the green. Well, no, your distance from the ball, it's like the taller you get, trust me, I'm tall,

the harder it's gonna get. You wanna start early. Start short. And stay short. You know, start short, stay short. Smoke cigarettes so you won't grow. Oh gosh. But that was a proud dad moment to like see him

and then to be like, oh, he wants more. He's back out, he's got this huge smile on his face, pushing in some more waves. And I said, all right, Shepherd, you're on your own, man. I'm not gonna push you now. I'm gonna go in, I'm gonna sit on the beach, and I'm gonna watch you. I go into the beach.

Maybe take a nap. And I'm watching him, and he just catches a wave by himself. And then he goes back out, and and like he was, you know, when you're learning how to surf, you kind of start in the whitewater area. Yeah. But the next time he just goes out and he just paddles past that and paddles all the way out

with all the other surfers. And I'm like, okay, I don't know how this is gonna go. He didn't catch any waves while he was out there, but boy, he tried for like half an hour. Wow. And- It's nice when they get motivated, self-motivated. Yeah, and that's the thing is that, you know, he likes to play video games.

He's really motivated to do that. But he hasn't, he's done a lot of different things, but he hasn't like been like, oh, this isn't the thing that I'm gonna do and I'm super self-motivated to do it. So it was really cool to see him do it. And again, it was like one of those things like, this is really cool. Like I just watched him learn how to surf and nowmotivated to do it. So it was really cool to see him do it. And again, it was like one of those things like, this is really cool.

Like I just watched him learn how to surf and now he's motivated to do it. And the rest of the week he went out with us and ended up catching more waves. So while I selfishly wanted to be surfing and learning to surf myself, it was cool to see both of the kids kind of take to it and now it's something that we can do together, which, you know,

I was sitting out there on the beach and I was like, I'm a dad and I just did that. Doesn't sound like you did much, but you did enough. There's not, you don't, that's the thing, you don't really have to do much. Yeah, that's the illusion. It's actually teaching a kid to surf versus teaching a kid how to ride a bike.

Oh, ride a bike. Oh, yeah. That'll make you want to kill your kid. Surfing, totally different ballgame. Super easy. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm gonna guess for some of you,

that thing is... Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is anime. Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. It's a weekly news show with the best celebrity guests and hot takes galore. So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. I took Lando out. I mean, he's more cautious. I'm not going to say timid. I'll just say cautious. And I said, hey, we're going to ride this surfboard like a boogie board. We're going to get you on this thing, get you going. And the first one, I always do this. I got a little-

Too aggressive. Too aggressive. And I went out too far and then the wave was a little too big. And I said, you're at the right place on the board. Maybe you need to come back a little bit further. You don't want the nose to dive in. And I pushed him on that wave right when we got out there and he just like, it was chaos.

And then he comes up, of course, I grabbed the board so the board doesn't hit him or something like that. And I'm like, all right, let's go back out. And he's immediately going in. But I have the board and the board is tethered to his ankle. Right, that's how you catch them. And low dad moment for me was continuing to go out. I mean like-

Drag his butt out there. I was like, hold on, we'll do this differently. It was my fault. Like, well, I screwed up, you know? I got over aggressive and then my response is where I really screwed up. I was like, no, you're not giving up. You're not giving up. And of course he couldn't go.

I wasn't dragging him out. I stayed in place and he realized that he couldn't go in. I was like, you're not giving up. We're gonna do this together. And he was upset and he won and we went back in and he went and like basically told Christy how big of an asshole I was. And it was, you know what, totally true.

But it was just, I wanted it for him so badly that like I was doing it for me, not for him. And especially when it didn't work out, then I wasn't being sensitive at all. And I feel horrible about it. And so I took a few minutes to process that and I was like, hey, and I apologized. I look him in the eye and I'm like, I didn't do that right.

I want you to try again, but I know you like things to be explained to you so that you can know what to expect and I didn't do that. And so I was like, basically, let's have a do over. And you know what? After a few minutes, he was like, let's- Oh, the same day. Let's try it.

So yeah, like 20 minutes later, we went back out and I did it the right way. And by the end of it, he was like, maybe I'll try to get up on my knees or something. But it was a positive experience. And it was better than being on a boogie board because you go so much further when you're as light as he is.

I think that I had forgotten about that until I just told you, because that was kind of the low point of vacation, because the low point that I remembered was the point where I got angry that I wasn't referring to that. So I guess there were two of them. We pack everything up from the beach

and like I had to take the boards back up and you know, I'm in charge of the biggest stuff because we gotta go up this long steps up the side of this cliff to get back to the car. And the goal is still everybody pull your weight so that we only have to make one trip. Right. But I got, and I got the big stuff.

And so we get back up there, we get everything loaded in, everybody's pulling their weight, everything's going good. Somebody left something. We get back home and I take my sunglasses off at the house and I'm reaching for my regular glasses. And I'm like, where are my glasses? And I'm saying this to Christy. In the Pacific Ocean. I'm like, where are my glasses? And I'm saying this to Christy. In the Pacific Ocean.

I'm like, where are my glasses? She's looking at me like, why are you asking me where your glasses are? And I'm like, my glasses, I had a speaker. I took, the speaker had a case because I didn't have a glasses case. I took this speaker out, because we were playing the speaker on the beach,

and I put my glasses in that case. And then you guys packed everything up. It's their fault. So that I could get- It's not your fault. The big stuff back up there. So did anybody see my glasses? It's like, why are you asking me?

Well, because you guys are the ones who packed everything up. Right. And because we're back at the house now. We've driven the, I don't know, 10 minutes back or whatever. And so I'm mad. I'm very mad.

I'm like, I mean, I need my glasses to see, I have contacts, I have enough contacts to last the rest of the week, I could just be no glasses man. But you need the glasses eventually. Who's Link without glasses? It's like, I bought a second pair of my glasses. Well, there you go.

Identical to my current pair, so that if something happened to them, I would have them to like, to be Link. Yeah. I'm the guy with, I'm the one with the glasses. Well, don't be so attached to it. I mean, I'm getting older by the second. Well, right.

I mean, I'm the one with the gray hair and glasses. You're currently the one with glasses. The only one with glasses. But those glasses, my backup glasses, were stolen two years ago from my car in my own freaking driveway. Oh man. Screw you person who did that.

They're prescription, you can't use them anyway. Yeah, jackass. And I never got them replaced because they're expensive. They still anything else? Some sunglasses. Christy sunglasses. Those are prescription. Not my sunglasses.

So I'm mad, I'm like, they've gotta be on the beach. So I go back, I drive back and I'm just so mad. I'm like, this is not vacation. And then I'm, I have to find a place to park. But did anybody say something like, oh yeah, I did not grab that. They were like, he was like, here's the speaker, the speaker's in the case.

They put the speaker back in the case. And the glasses were not in the case. So I was like, you know, they didn't care about my stuff when they were packing it up. It's like, I trust my family to care about everybody's stuff when they're packing it up, not just my stuff. That's where you went wrong.

Yeah, you can't trust your family. I had to find a place to park. I'm putting on a mask. I'm running down all these steps, trying not to break my neck. I get down there and the tide comes in so far. All the way to the cliffs. All the way to the cliffs.

If you leave anything on the beach, yeah, it's gone. Well, or almost. I get down there and I run back to the spot and I'm like, I'm exasperated because the tide, literally the tide is coming over the place where we had set up. No one else was there and I'm like, I'm looking around and I look to the right, like look into the ocean. You're not gonna believe this. look to the right, like look into the ocean.

You're not gonna believe this. My glasses were floating away in the ocean. You're joking. Yeah, I'm joking. My glasses weren't there at all. Oh. I was so mad. They had already been taken. But I had this vision.

The ocean had taken them? I had a vision that my glasses, that that's what was gonna happen. I was gonna get there just in time, even though it had so much time it had lasted. Your glasses float? Glasses don't float. Well, some do.

In the ocean, they don't float. I think they're even more buoyant in the ocean. One time I forgot I had on sunglasses and I went back into the ocean because I was hot and I dipped my head totally in the water. And when I came up, it was a lot brighter. And I realized that I had just lost my sunglasses right there, one second ago.

You'll never find them. And I just, I instinctively reached down, gone forever. Those are my green sunglasses that people post on Twitter when I look like I'm like smiling real big, like I'm the sun and I'm wearing those glasses. You could probably get a replacement for those. I miss those freaking glasses. Two little inner tubes that go around the glasses

right there, two little donut inner tubes. We should sell those. Like wings. Like baby swimmy wings. And then they hook the cords which go behind your head and you're just like a dad golfer. You don't even have to do that. Yeah, cause go right on the edge. Like baby swimmy wings. And then they hook the cords which go behind your head and you're just like a dad golfer. You don't even have to do that. Yeah, because they'll float, you let them go.

But you know what, they do make a thing that is a floaty football-shaped thing for your keys that you could attach to glasses too. So we didn't invent anything. Like boat keys. Boat keys. So I asked the people, you know, you hate having to ask the people on the beach,

hey, did you happen to see some glasses? Yeah. No, they didn't. I make this walk of shame back up the stairs. I sit in the car and I'm like, I don't wanna drive home. I'm just, I'm so mad at them because they don't care. Can't even see my way home. Well, I have my sunglasses on, they're prescription.

And then I was like, dang it. I remember taking those glasses and putting them in the case and then I was like, but I think they were my sunglasses. And I think my regular glasses are in my sunglasses case right here in the console of the car. And I opened it up, took out my sunglasses case, and they just laughed in my face. I mean, I've never seen glasses laugh at a person,

but I felt it. But that's a beautiful moment when you find the thing that you thought that you lost. I mean, you feel stupid for having I was so convinced. Trek down to the beach. Well, I was so convinced that it was my family who collectively did this.

So I came home and I told them the same story I told you, except I stopped at the part where I got them out of the ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm about to say, man, you know, there's no reason they have to know what happened. No, I told them the truth. I mean, see, that's the thing.

It's not about being perfect, it's about being penitent. And I'm glad that Lando responded to that. And I mean, Christie was like, now you need to tell the whole story if you're gonna tell that story. Yeah. That always happens when I lose something. And I've actually learned at this point

to not just immediately try to find a family member. That's one of the great things about having family is that you've got that many more people to blame things on. Yeah. But it's always a losing game. You know, it's always a losing game. It's not fun, even if it is their fault

to blame stuff on people. And what is it? When you lose stuff, it's almost always your own fault. That Christie has is, I've been, listen, I've been looking, I've been retracing my steps, I've been thinking so hard, I've been looking for the thing and it's like,

and then she's like, here it is. You know, what is that superpower? It's just like, and then that trains you to not look because if she can magically find it, well, I'm not gonna waste time looking for something that you can magically find. And I tell her that and she's like, I doubt it is magic.

Well, it doesn't work that way. The magic only works if you've exasperated yourself to the point of exhaustion and frustration. It helps if you don't blame anybody because the magic doesn't work if you blame, if I blame Christy, her magic doesn't work., if I blame Christy, her magic doesn't work. And if I don't look, her magic doesn't work. But if I put in the effort and then I get exasperated

and I go to her on hands, oh baby, I need you baby. I can't find my glasses. That's what it takes. I know I put them in the wrong place, but can you work your magic? Then it'll work. What you wanna do is you want to enlist the help of your family without blaming them.

We were talking about bounty. That's the only way my family's gonna get involved. My kids. You can have my bloody ice cream if you find my glasses. Iron, higher iron content. The other thing that happened to me, speaking of watching television as you watch Survivor. Still love it.

Now, I'm sure you suffer from a similar thing. No, don't be sure. A lot of people struggle with the whole aspect of not doing, right? So even while on vacation, I'm still thinking about accomplishing something. It might be, oh, you're gonna learn how to surf properly. And I think that, you know, going back to like the Enneagram one and the Enneagram three,

there's a lot of similarities in the way that we approach things. You might want to make sure your vacation goes perfectly. And I might want to- Unlock and achieve it. Accomplish something on my vacation. But they manifest themselves in pretty similar ways a lot of times.

So for me, and this is a common workaholic problem, I feel it's very difficult for me to enjoy a vacation For me, and this is a common workaholic problem, I feel it's very difficult for me to enjoy a vacation because I feel worthless. If I look at a day on vacation and I'm like, you didn't do anything. Like you didn't learn how to do anything. You didn't like achieve something. Like, cause even doing something,

like having a good time is achieving something. If you just sort of laid there, you kind of got up late and then you watched a lot of television and then dinner rolled around. And like my wife is really good at just sort of embracing that and enjoying that and being able to just be in that being something that is fun and enjoyable.

Whereas I just developed this sense of worthlessness. And like I have no value because again, my tendency is to attach my value to my accomplishments. Something that I'm unraveling like a giant knot. Yeah. Since I've been in therapy. I've had that problem a lot with just with COVID in terms of work, because we're hamstrung in a lot of ways in terms of what we can do and like,

what we're working on that leads to stuff. And that's another thing that happens to me when I go on vacation, not only am I thinking, well, you're gonna learn to surf, but I also think that like, oh, you're also going to have this thought about some project that we're working on. You're gonna have a breakthrough.

You're gonna come up with a new idea. You're gonna write a song. Like I had this secret hope, and because of my personality, many times that's what vacation is filled with. There's like, oh, I wrote two songs, or you know, I came up with an idea, I did this little write up.

And I do that in part because that's where I get my self worth, right? So, I mean, it's good if you're trying to be an entertainer, but it's also bad. I'll veg out over here. You keep going with that. And, but it's bad for your own mental health. So, but one of the things that I found myself doing,

especially after I got hurt is, you know, I talked a lot about how Jessie and I had watched Married at First Sight, talked about that a few podcasts ago. You turned a lot of people onto that and it's, man. Yeah, you're welcome. I don't know, I don't know. And well, you're definitely not gonna know about this. So now my wife and I, well, let me say,

my wife watches a lot of trashy reality TV and she has roped me into it. And I fall for a hook, line and sinker, even if I am trying to resist it. And the thing that we ended up getting into, which this is even more popular than Married at First Sight, is we started watching 90 Day Fiance before the 90 days. And I guess this is the most recent season.

Now you've seen this guy, Ed. You may not know that he is Ed, but if I showed you a picture of Ed, you'd be like, oh, that's the guy from all the memes over the past couple of months. Oh, okay. I can barely say what 90 Day Fiance is. 90 Day Fiance is a show about people who are,

there's one person who's in the US and then one person who is in a foreign country and they are getting married in order for the person to get a green card. Oh, this is the thing that the only, Lincoln was watching PewDiePie watch one of these. Yeah, yeah, it's super popular. So I watched it with him.

That's the only way I've seen the show. And Felix watched it, I told you this, he watched the episode segments out of order. Yeah. And he cared so little that he just, he didn't even, he was like, oh, I'm watching these out of order. The story was out of order.

Like they got into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, which I found hilarious. But there's like five different versions of the show because there's 90 Day Fiance, but then there's 90 Day Fiance before the 90 days. And then there's- So what's the before,

so before the 90 days is a different show. So this is them meeting the people who they might have then gotten engaged to. And then the 90 day fiance is like after they've gotten engaged and isn't gonna work out. So I don't even know how old this is, but it's the same people that I've seen in the memes. So it's relatively recent.

And... So they shot, they documented these people's relationships. They documented them meeting for the first time and dating basically before they got engaged. But they didn't air any of that. So they had a spinoff show because they had so much footage that was like a prequel. It's absolutely incredible.

Now you have to be a certain kind of personality, but based on the popularity of this show and what I see on the internet, there's a lot of people who fit this personality type that get drawn into this kind of thing. Because you, it's the same reason I watch The Bachelor or anything like that. You just can't believe that people are capable

of this type of behavior. And you just keep watching it. And I know that there's some sort of thing going on that's just like, I feel like by watching these people be themselves, it makes me almost feel, it makes me feel separated and a little bit sane. It's like, I would never do that. So it makes you feel good because you're kind of

separating yourself from the actions of these people. As opposed to it making you angry and frustrated that they're like making dumb decisions. It makes me angry and frustrated, but I'm more blown away. Like, okay, I'm gonna, if you're gonna watch 90 Day Fiance before the 90 days, spoiler, I'm gonna spoil some things.

So just spoiler alert. But the thing that, okay, so first of all, there's Ed and there's Rose, right? And Ed is this like 55 year old dude from San Diego who has a very, I'll just say, his look is very distinct. And that's why he's kind of become popular in these memes. Okay.

And then Rose is like a 20 something year old, like 23 years old from the Philippines. Their relationship is bonkers, but very entertaining. Are you looking him up? Ed and Rose. Yeah, and- Rosemary. Yeah, Rosemary.

So you know that guy. Oh yeah. Yeah, he's in everything, right? And he's like, there's a famous scene where he like sits down next to her at the pool and he's like, you're my, he's like, you're my vision or so, I can't remember what it is. It's just a bunch of memes.

Cause he, cause the things that he says and then the way that she talks to him, back to him is just phenomenal. Now, like she's younger than his, she's younger than his daughter. And so the daughter was- He's got slick, he's a large man. Yeah.

With slick back hair and like, he's not, never clean shaven. And his, yeah, his head just kind of goes into his shoulders. Right, and I think that's why, you know, he's got a distinct physicality that people have, people have locked into. Okay. Now, let me tell you about this other guy, okay?

Oh, another guy. This is the thing that kept me, and the freaking TLC producers, they're so good. Because let me just say, each one of these episodes is an hour and 40 minutes long. What? I think that's right. This is the rejected, this is the prequel footage?

I'm watching this on, I think tlc.com, I don't know, Jesse's doing it, it's on the Applecom. I don't know, Jesse's doing it. There's this on the Apple TV. I'm sitting through, there's commercials. I'm watching commercials. Like there's six commercials in a commercial break. Oh, you watch commercials? There's no way you can, if you wanna, I guess there's maybe,

unless you wanna buy the season on Amazon. I don't know how, I'm just trying to give you a picture of just how much I had succumbed to reality TV. I'm watching commercials again. I'm buying things that I'm seeing, you know, oh, Swiffer. No, you didn't. No, I didn't.

But you thought about it, apparently. But it's gone in my brain. I'll tell you that, I'm gonna buy it at some point. Somebody just heard you say it and- The ads are working. Increase the chances of- Hey, advertising works. If it doesn't, then me and you are gonna be broke.

So let me just, so there was one day where we watched, I don't know how many episodes back to back, but I guarantee you it was seven hours of this show. I've never watched this much television in one sitting. And I was taking breaks and like eating, but I kept coming freaking back. And we didn't even pause it. We would go downstairs and do something.

It would just be keep rolling. Cause you don't really have to follow that closely. But the story that I could not escape from. Can I ask you something? You can ask me anything you want. At the seven, at hour one. I hated myself at minute seven. You don't understand, I hated myself the whole time.

Did you know you were like, oh, this is happening. We're doing this. I actually thought to myself, and I told Jesse this like five hours in, I was like, this is, and I'm not making light of this. I was like, this is what it feels like to be addicted to drugs. Oh gosh.

Because I was like, you can imagine that like you keep going back to this thing and you know that it's not good for you and you don't even really like it, but you can't stop. I was like, I have a whole lot of empathy for people who are addicted to drugs right now. I'm addicted to TLC. Hold on. And I'm about to tell right now. Is it? I'm addicted to TLC. Hold on.

And I'm about to tell you why. Is it because of you wanted to find out what happens? Yes. Okay, okay. Well, I mean, they got engaged, that's what happens. It's before the 90 days. Dude, you don't even, I'm about to blow your mind. You know what's gonna happen. You don't, you. Dude, you don't even, I'm about to blow your mind. You know what's gonna happen.

You don't, you don't, you don't, especially in one particular case, right? So there's all kinds of things, like there's one woman who is basically being catfished by this dude, and you know as the viewer that she's being catfished. You know that this dude's not real. But she's so convinced that,

and you can't stop watching someone in their delusion. And it's kind of sad because I know that the producers and everyone knows that this person is in a delusion. And it's like, you remember the famous, there's a famous- They didn't tell her. There's a famous photograph from an ethical standpoint. There's multiple photographs of like really difficult things to see,

like a child who's starving or somebody who's been injured or, and there's a person who takes a photograph and there's like this journalistic ethic, which is I don't intervene, I just observe. And then people find out, oh, you took this picture, but you didn't help this kid or whatever. There's a certain aspect to it where you're like, you kind of want to just be like, you know,

hey, I got, this isn't real, but you know that the producers understand letting them live out their delusion is this intensely entertaining thing that you can't stop watching. Now, one particular delusion that is I think the key reason I kept going back. There's a dude named, I know we're going a little bit long,

but I've got to tell you this. You know what? There is no perfect length. Right. There's nothing to, but I've got to tell you this. You know what? There is no perfect length. Right. There's nothing to, you don't need to, you know what? Maybe you don't need to tell the story because you feel like you need to achieve the end of the story.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You have got to hear this. So there's a guy named David who is from Las Vegas. Okay. He's in his 50s, I believe. Maybe, let's just say that. He might be 60, I don't know. This guy goes to these dating services,

online dating services, where it's a site where these Russian women, and I think maybe in this case, it was a Ukrainian woman. They're on the site and you see a picture of them and you can begin chatting with them. Not video chat, text chat only. Okay. And you know that, do they basically want to come to America?

Well, let's go, hold your horses. Okay. Stay in the Ukraine for a second. So you text chat with this person who, by the way, does not speak English and so everything that you're saying is being translated into Ukrainian, I guess, and vice versa. So you're not even, there's a language barrier, but it's sort of overcome by this text tool. Yeah.

And you pay by the minute. This guy, first of all, it comes to light that, again, spoiler, it comes to light that he's been chatting up lots of women over the years and that this is basically the extent of his adult relationships, at least for the past 10, 15 years. Oh. And this one woman, Lana is her name.

Now Lana's not making any of the money that he's paying for the phone call. She gets paid, yeah, she is. Oh, she gets paid to talk to him? Well, she gets paid by the site. Oh. Why would she do it if she's not getting paid? To find a date.

No, no, no, no, no, no. This is her job. Her job is to go on this site and to talk to multitudes of men who want to chat with this pretty blonde Russian lady. Oh, oh, okay. So it's like, but it's not just, it doesn't have to be, it's like a, what was that?

It's like the sex line. Yeah, but you're text chatting. But it's not just about the sex. Let me just say a couple of things. So as I'm watching this. I thought it was just a dating line, but it's not. It's a service. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's paying half a million dollars. Oh gosh, okay. Over the course of the years. Okay. To chat with these women. And for seven years, he's paying half a million dollars. Oh gosh, okay. Over the course of the years. Okay. To chat with these women. And for seven years, he's been chatting. Now, first of all, he's never seen, he's just seen the picture and then chatted.

So everyone watching knows that this woman is almost assuredly not the person that he is talking to. It's just some dude named Boris who's talking back to him, right? Could be AI. But he is convinced that they are in a relationship. He considers her his girlfriend because that's what she does on the,

she acts as if she's in a relationship with him, right? So for seven years, this goes on. Now over the course of the seven years, and this is all before we're seeing it. He has been to, I don't know if, again, I know Ukraine is not Russia. I don't know which one he went to, but I think maybe he went to the Ukraine.

I'll just say that. Three times to meet her, and every single time he has met her, she's come up with an excuse. Now let me explain. He only communicates with her through the service, even when he's going to meet her in the Ukraine. And so he'll be like, why can't I just get your number? And she gets mad and she's like, only through the chat,

only through the thing. So he's paying her to arrange a meeting with her. And every time he goes over there, paying on his own dime, she's not there because an excuse comes up, my brother died, or whatever, she's got all kinds of excuses. And we know, the producers know, the audience knows, this guy is in the depths of a delusion.

It's sad, but you're just like, how far is he gonna go? Because when we're watching the show, he's talking to her and he's like, I'm going back, I'm going back over there and I'm gonna meet her and this time, she's gonna be at this train station or whatever. So you see him go over there. This was the first time cameras followed him over there? Yeah, but you see him, his friends like,

try to have interventions with him like, oh, we're gonna get a shot of you and your two friends at this bar and you're talking and it's like, David, you know, I really think this is a scam. And he's like, I don't believe it's a scam. And he has this weird sort of robotic way of approaching it where he's not gonna listen to reason, right? So other people have tried to intervene.

Multiple people, his friends. And even a Russian lady. That helps the producer's case a little bit. A Russian lady who was on the services that he met at one time is telling him that this is a scam. And he meets her when he goes over there. And she's since gotten married to somebody else and she's out of the game now.

But so he goes back over there for a fourth time. Of course, she doesn't show up. He comes back home. And then, you know, a couple hours later, I'm still in the bed, I'm still watching this. He's going back again. Yeah, why are you doing, I can't, I don't., I'm still in the bed, I'm still watching this, he's going back again. Yeah, why are you doing, I can't, I don't, I can't believe you're watching this.

Well, I'm also following like five other couples at the same time, but I just, this one in particular, I was like, I just don't, how is it possible that he's going there for the fifth time? And then he's like, okay, she's supposed to be here at 11 o'clock. He still never talked to her through anything but the chat. Yeah. And this very distinct

blonde woman, spoiler alert, don't listen to what I'm about to say if you want to enjoy this yourself. She's there. What? The woman from the pictures shows up and hugs him. And I'm just like, having invested so much time into this and feeling so worthless, it was like another hit. It was like, it was all of a sudden like,

ah, this was all worth it. What? But hold on, she was an actress. No, so many things were going through my mind. I was like, did the TLC producers like find this woman from the pictures and say, hey, will you act like it was you this whole time? Yeah, just make his day.

It was her. But she, when they interviewed her, it was very clear that she was continuing to carry on. She wants the money. She wants the gifts from him. And it seems that she wants the ability to come to the US. I think at this point where I stopped watching the show, which was the tell-all, which was like during COVID,

where they're all on video chat. Oh, wow. So like after the 90 days, she didn't even show up for that. And he was like, I haven't spoken to her in six days. I think they got engaged. They got that. And he was like, I haven't spoken to her in six days. I think they got engaged. They got engaged. And I was just like.

So she's also maybe an addict too. Like whatever he's giving her. She's addicted to money, man. Okay. But it was, I had to follow this story. And then that becomes a 90 day fiance episode. I guess, but it was so like, I don't know what the moral of it is.

I mean, for me, it's tough. For me, it's just like, I can't let this happen unless I'm on vacation, right? I feel worthless. I hate myself for doing this. I don't know why I'm so invested in finding out if this woman's real. I don't know what's gonna so invested in finding out if this woman is real. I don't know what's gonna happen with Ed and Rose.

I mean, Ed told Rose that she needed to shave her legs and that she had bad breath. And it's like, I don't like the way that he told her that. How's she gonna respond? And then like, oh, is, what's her name gonna find out that Williams is not a real dude, that she's being catfished. Like, you just, you find yourself so invested in this. And I understand, but I think the moral of the story

for David though, I think is if you have a delusion, just follow it to the end of the yellow brick road. Cause you're probably right. It may come true. You're probably right. Now listen, I'm not shutting this down. Cause I got, I'm flooded. You should just watch it. I'm flooded with memories associated with this I got, Question. I'm flooded. You should just watch it.

I'm flooded with memories associated with this, so. Hold on, you've been talking to a Ukrainian woman on the internet? I don't care if this goes, you know what, this may be a part two. Or you know what, Don't talk about part two. Let's just blow it open. Every time you get so invested in a freaking trash show,

it becomes an episode. I think I need my own podcast where I just talk about reality TV. Can we do that? What, am I not invited? I mean. Somebody's gotta tell you you have a problem and that you just can't give into this.

See, you need to take a breath. No, but if I could make money off of it, then I start to feel like I'm worth something. Like if I could take my addiction to TLC and other things like it and turn it into a paying project, then I'll say, oh, okay, that's good. This makes sense. It validates your addiction.

But spending seven hours, I mean, this is like, this is like those people who sit down and watch all three of the Lord of the Rings back to back to back, which I'm just not that kind of person. I cannot do that. But it's not because- It's not Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it's a-

It's far from it. It's real people that have been just marionetted through producing and editing for you to feel sorry for them or feel better about yourself. All this psychology, it could be troubling. But it does remind me when we started producing Commercial Kings. So we made the pilot with Reveille.

We worked with Todd who brought us in and produced that. And we had a producer who worked on Survivor actually. Shoot, his name is on the tip of my tongue. Fernando. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fernando was the one who's, like we were filming the pilot episode in the mountains of Asheville, North Carolina

and with Heavy Hill, the trash man, a garbage collector. And then we had some downtime and we hadn't talked about it ahead of time. And then all of a sudden Fernando's like, we wanna set up some, some OTF interviews, OTF, on the fly interviews. It's like, you know how on like reality competition shows and stuff like that, they'll like have confession cams

or they'll be talking to a producer. And we hadn't thought about this at all. Hadn't thought about it at all. And he was like, it may not be part of the show, but let's just do it. And then we made a decision. He wanted us to do them individually. And we didn't feel good about that, I remember,

but we did it. And I remember he set up a shot of me standing in front of Heavy Hill's shed in his backyard where he had his pet mule back there. Yeah, I remember this. And then you had a little downtime while he interviewed me. And I remember when he interviewed you, I was like watching, I was like,

I think he interviewed you first. I was like, how's this gonna go? And here we were, we like to be in control. It was our show. We were, you know, we were producers on the show too. And- Executive producers. Executive producers, and we were producing

the commercial within the show. So it's like, we had our hands in all of it. And it felt a little weird being interviewed by Fernando, who like, in one sense worked for us, it felt a little weird being interviewed by Fernando who like in one sense worked for us, but then he was interviewing us, documenting the process of us making these commercials. So like he would throw things at us and we would talk about it and then they,

and then that ended up being cut into the episode. But then when we went to, all of that was a tangent by the way. Oh, you're getting somewhere. But it was like, well, I guess we became, that was where I started to feel like we were actually- Voiding? No, we were in a reality television show.

You know, Commercial Kings was a show documenting us making a commercial, but we never thought of it that way. We thought of it as we're producing a show that shows how we make the commercials. But what Fernando tried to achieve was a level of detachment from how we were gonna be presented. And what we're processing. And let our process and our point of view

not become just editorial, but become something that happened on screen. And it's difficult when the people that you're doing that with are really self-aware and also producing the show. Yeah, meaning us. We're pretty good at separating ourselves. So it's like when he'd ask us a question,

yeah, half the time we were thinking, what is the best way to answer this question to be entertaining, but also connect the dots so that in the edit room, we can tell the best story. And we would be way better at that now than we were in 2011. Oh yeah, we weren't good at it. No, no.

But if we would have just let go and trusted Fernando and just answered his questions. Which we would do now. Which we would do now. Where we understand how to be ourselves. Yes. A lot more than we did in the early days. Like right now.

Yeah. You know, there's so many times I wish we could go back and do Commercial Kings again. And I think that was a part of it. It stuck in our crawl that like, we were doing these on the fly interviews. And that's the part of the show I don't like watching. It was reduced.

I don't like watching those interviews. In series though, and this is what I was originally getting to, but it's, so it wasn't a tangent, it's a continuation of my thought. In series, we worked with a different production company. We worked with Joke Productions. Yeah.

Reveille, the company that funded the show and sold it and produced the pilot, they basically said, we need to bring in somebody else who does this day in and day out, who can do it on a tighter budget. Yeah. Joke Productions was Joke and Biagio. They're a married couple. And Joke is her name.

She's like, she's like Belgian or something. And so Joke doesn't mean funny ha ha over there. But it works well, it translates well. I made all that up. I actually don't know why they called her joke. That's her name. Was that right? Yeah.

It didn't mean funny ha ha in Belgium? I don't think so. I think it's just a name. Okay, maybe I wasn't joking. Sometimes I say things just because they might be cool to say and then I realized I'm accessing a memory that I didn't know I had. Oh, well, that's part of life.

I remember the first episode we shot with them was Make Me a Pro Wrestler. That was the name of the business we were doing the commercial for. We aired them all out of order. The Heavy Hill pilot episode aired somewhere in the middle. The Make Me a Pro Wrestler didn't turn out, it wasn't, it was a dynamic commercial.

It had a lot of action, but it didn't have a hook and it wasn't a great commercial. It didn't come together. But but it didn't have a hook and it wasn't a great commercial. It didn't come together. But we learned how to be wrestlers and you freaking with your back and everything suplexed me. And it hurt my back, by the way. Yeah, it did. But we tried to get the guy who was called the hobo, right?

Yeah, his wrestling persona was the hobo. We said, we interviewed them all and we wanted to platform. Brandon was his name? Yeah. Yeah, and I think he's still involved in wrestling at some point. He was up until recently because our buddy Sievert,

who helped produce- Buddy System. Second season of Buddy System, who was one of the writers on Buddy System, the showrunners, his son had a connection to the world of sort of amateur pro wrestling. And so we kind of kept up

and we actually talked about this moment when we tried to get the hobo to change his persona to the baby. And we said on camera, we thought it would be entertaining. It would be an entertaining beat to mess with these people's personas to make them more marketable.

And so on camera, it's like we knew, okay, the big moment is when we tell Brandon. To shave his head. That he needs to shave his head and wear. And he had really long hair. And it was his signature for the hobo. And wear a diaper. And he's just gonna be a bald man with a diaper.

And I felt horrible about this because that goes, I mean, in my mind, that goes a step beyond what they're doing on TLC. TLC is like, I'm gonna let this person flounder in their delusion and I'm gonna film it for entertainment. And all of our commercials- We were trying to manipulate. All of our commercials that really took off,

it was taking things that were true and things that came out, that we worked out of the woodwork to become all of those commercials. You know, like Coleman Liquidation, that epic and honest mobile home commercial. Everything that he says is something that he told us and then we just scripted it out.

But then Joke and Biagio started to try to teach us that it's not, you know, we didn't go with this docu-reality thing. We went with this, they made it more reality TV. You gotta produce it. Let's have an, we need to have an entertaining beat in act one. You guys make a great commercial, that's act three.

But if they don't, they gotta get hooked in act one. And then in act two, this is a comedy. You gotta say some funny stuff. And so putting these people in these situations where it's like they have to respond to us telling a dude to shave his long hair and his beard, right? Yeah, everything. Yeah, because he had hair like you do now and a beard.

Maybe he didn't have a beard actually. He had long hair though. Yeah, because he had hair like you do now and a beard. Maybe he didn't have a beard actually. He had long hair though. Yeah, it was his hair because- In the moment on camera when we were trying to get him to shave it and he was getting really close to, I felt so horrible. Yeah, because it was like we were criticizing his creative choice to be the hobo, but also-

I still feel like the baby is a better persona and I still, I feel that's honest. Well, I think he was hurt a little bit. He was like the hobo, the thing that I've invested myself in isn't good enough. And you're asking me to, I've also invested in my hair. I've grown out my hair and you want me to shave it off to be a baby.

And the reason why we know this is because they did on the fly interviews where we weren't there, where they asked Brandon, and then that's when we found out that he was on the verge of tears talking about how he went home and he talked to his mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of us just looking like assholes in this podcast, but you know what?

It's the truth. We were torn, but Daniel, who was our like, I think his title was create- Director. He was a creative, he came on as a creative consultant, but then he basically became a director. Yeah. But that's a weird title for reality TV.

That's important though, it's a part of it. He was, I remember Daniel in the corner, sitting on the floor with his knees up on his chest and literally with his hands in his hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just almost pulling his hair out and he was on the verge of tears and he was like, We can't make this guy shit.

We can't do this to this guy. We can't do, and we were like, you're right. And then like Joke, I mean, I love Joke. I haven't, you know, it's like, she was, you know, she's like, she was focused on the product and she had the counterpoints. It's like, guys, this is, he's not- He's just shaving his head.

It's his decision to do it. It's not the end of the world. He can wear a wig. We're not gonna make him do it. He's not going permanently bald. And all of this is good television. It was her point of view. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Even, even. The fact that this is stressing you out is why people will wanna watch it. But we didn't document that. No, we didn't. The story that we're telling now is what should have been commercial kings. I think we should have gone so much more raw and sincere.

And there would have been a way to do the show that didn't require this overproduction too. Because our on the fly interviews, the reason why you hate them and I hate them, if you go back and watch Commercial Kings is because we got to the point where we didn't have any, we didn't do them on location. We said, we'll just do them when we get back to Los Angeles

when we're editing and we'll know what we need to say to connect the dots. And you'll just go out into like a nondescript neighborhood in LA with one cameraman and a producer and then you'll connect the dots. Well, what happened was it was no longer an interview. It was kind of scripted.

It was like, this is the idea that we need to communicate here. It was like, we fed it and now you guys need to put this connected tissue together. You need to say that this guy, once he went home and told his mom and he was on the verge of tears to shave his head, you need to articulate why you let him off the hook

and said, you don't have to shave your head. All you gotta do is wear the diaper. Just be the baby for the commercial. And that's what he did. Then you can go back to being the hobo. And we would have to say that in the on the fly interview that we shot months later. And it just didn't have, it wasn't real.

So to wrap this up, 10 years later. Being a producer on this, my point is being a producer on this stuff is like, it creates like an identity crisis. and it's, you have to- I think they sleep fine because- It's a certain type of person now. Because let me get to what I'm getting to. Get to it.

Well, I've been trying to, which is 10 years later, reality TV and people being portrayed and watching themselves being portrayed and understanding, even if they're not particularly self-aware people who understand television production, almost everyone understands the manipulative nature of reality TV now, even the people who is,

maybe even especially the people who are on it, right? Yeah, if you watch the, after the person wins Survivor, and then it's like the live show where they're interviewing everybody who competed that season. Yeah. They'll talk openly about how,

this is how I was portrayed in the edit. Well, more specifically, with 90 Day Fiance, they're so genius how they figured out. If you had told me, so we're gonna do this show called 90 Day Fiance where, you know, it's people getting green cards, whatever.

I said, okay, I got it. And then we're gonna find all these ways to remix this. And one of the ways is we're gonna film before the 90 days, use that footage that we were getting as they were establishing their relationship. Okay, that's a show. And then we're gonna do one where there's a tell all where everyone is on a video chat together

and everyone on the video chat has watched all of the episodes of the entire season. So now you've got people saying, commenting on the other couples and like butting in and giving advice about what they should have done. Okay, there's another show. I don't even know what it's called, but it's when couples who have been on 90 Day Fiance

in previous seasons sit in their bedrooms and watch a current season of 90 Day Fiance and you're just watching them watch 90 Day Fiance. And then there's a podcast where a dude won't shut up about it. No, but what I'm saying is is that I feel like culturally, we've gotten to a point where everyone understands

what they're getting themselves into. And they, you know what I'm saying? It's like, I'm not saying it's not- If you're chatting for years with somebody being catfished, I mean- No, no, no, everyone can't understand to the same- No, no, I'm not saying that it's not exploitive in some way, it is.

I'm just saying that 10 years have passed and a whole lot has changed about the way people think about the concept of reality TV and the production. Everybody knows that the things that you're watching on Keeping Up With The Kardashians are produced scenarios and moments, and we've gotten to a place where we don't care anymore, right? If you're into that kind of thing, you don't care.

Well, but that's a different, I don't, are you into that, that's a different type of reality show where it's like, I don't watch that. Early seasons of Duck Dynasty is the last time I've watched anything that has a point of reference for, these are real people that then I can tell that producers have given them a scenario. Hey, you're gonna do this, you're gonna-

And you knew it and you didn't really care. You're gonna go hunting, but you gotta have, but here's the problem that you're gonna encounter. And you didn't care if they were good at it, if they were good at making it happen. I think ultimately what I'm saying is, I'm not kind of making a non-point in one sense, because the point that stands is I still feel dirty watching it, right?

Regardless of the ethics. I feel dirtier hearing about 90 Day Fiancé than like the Kardashians or the Duck Dynasties thing where it's like the storylines are manufactured. Well, yeah, but at the same time, these people- They're in on it. They decided, I do want to do this.

I wanna be in this relationship, and this is a way for me to actually get a green card or to be in a, I mean, you have to have a legitimate, in quotes, relationship. But when you have an addiction, like, first of all, the guy was vindicated. That's the weird thing about it. Kinda, he was kinda vindicated, but it seems like there was,

and they didn't know that when they started filming it, he needed money to keep paying for the service, you know? We should land this reality TV ship. If we wanna keep it in the context of the vacation, to me, it was, it made me, it added to my feeling of worth vacation, to me, it was, it made me, it added to my feeling of worthlessness, but it was the only thing that I could really do because you can't really go anywhere. My back was hurt.

You could watch other shows. You could read a book. I did that as well. Apparently there's enough time to do that and watch seven hours straight of 90 Day Fiance. Wow, I mean, when it was over, did you tally it up and say, we just watched seven hours? I think, here's the thing,

me and you married dudes who run a business and have a lot of stuff that we're doing. A lot of people do this on the rig. And so we think the idea of sitting down and watching, but every time, I mean, I talked to some of the folks that, some of the single folks that work for us and they're like, oh yeah, I watched, I binged so-and-so over the weekend. Like they watch a whole season of television over a weekend.

I've never done that. And they don't feel worthless. I've, and I didn't even get to the bottom of this one, but. What do you mean? There's more of it. Oh. But I'm saying that some people are like, oh yeah, I watched the whole.

Now that you're back home, are you going back in? No, no, no, no, no. Okay, okay, that's a boundary. Okay, that's good. I wanna hear you say it. I'm not, well, Jessie and I have a window of time sometimes during the week between like nine and 10 o'clock

where we'll watch television together. I don't really watch it past like, maybe 10.30 is like the latest, right? I think anything goes in that- 10 p.m. can easily turn into 5 a.m. Anything goes in that window. And I would say that I would technically allow 90 Day Fiance to go in that window

because there's very little, like I fall asleep. I'm not gonna watch it past 10.30 because I'll fall asleep. Stakes are low for sleeping. But I fall asleep. I'm not gonna watch it past 10 30, cause I'll fall asleep. Stakes are low for sleeping. But I do think that I'd rather watch something that is a little bit more plot driven than I say that as a nice treat. It's just like, I also had ice cream myself.

I ate ice cream twice. Spoon? Yeah, I didn't cut myself or anything. Yeah. But I ate ice cream twice during the week. I don't eat ice cream outside of our show. I set a boundary. So it's kind of like I had some junk food,

I had some junk TV, I feel okay about myself. I'm trying to be okay with it. So don't make me feel bad about it. I felt horrible in the moment. But damn that story, does this woman exist? She does exist? What? This is freaking nuts.

I still think it's nuts that she exists. And so where is it right now? They're engaged? I think that the last thing is that they were engaged, but I think that she's backed out. Okay. Or she's MIA right now. Wow. So that was our vacation.

Sorry it took 30 minutes to talk about 90 Day Fiancé. I got it. But again, I could talk about it forever. Seems that you could. I got other things from my vacation I could talk about. So you wanna just, you know, if you could watch for seven hours, two lifelong friends.

We're gonna make that tagline true. Talkin' for a long time. We're gonna make that tagline true. Talkin' for a long time. We're gonna make that tagline true. That's what happens when you make a tagline. We got anywhere to be? You fulfill it. There's other meetings. I think there's one that's starting.

Maybe even now. Oh, snap. Well, you gotta give your recommendation. Rec baby, rec baby, one, two, three, four. So okay, I'm gonna recommend something that, incidentally, you're the one who took it on vacation. And I only knew about it because Shepard was like, I think Shepard went to your house or so,

I can't remember what it was, but Shepard comes back talking about how you were really excited about something. Uh-huh. And he's like, Link's really excited about this. He's buying bidets. Yeah. And I'm like, buying bidets?

And he was like, yeah, like a portable bidet. And I was like, oh, portable bidet. I think it came in the mail when he was there. That is genius. Yep, I am. So I hear about you getting this thing and then I'm like, Genius. I go on vacation and I'm sitting there

with a regular American toilet, feel like a barbarian, just wiping my butt with paper, doing who knows what to my rectum long term. You might as well be wrapping your cheeks around a tree. Yeah, just like, still growing. Taking a sapling and just squatting up and down. A rough to bark sapling, a pine tree. And I was like, man, I gotta get me one of these.

And then I go on Amazon, you for like 10 bucks, you can get a little squeezy thing. Oh, I paid more for mine. Well, I mean, mine did the job, I tested it yesterday. I got mine in my freaking backpack now because I don't have anything here. Mine accordions shut and goes in a bag. Oh mine goes in a bag, but it doesn't accordion.

Mine accordions out and it makes it where you can really. Does it play music at the same time? Plays music. All I know is I recommend this. Now, first of all, we recommend bidets in general because we have been talking about that. And you know what? I'm beginning to notice that the idea of a bidet

is catching on in America. It is, because of us. I saw, it's a cultural movement. We just happen to be part of it. It's a moment. We're part of a movement. There was an Instagram ad and it was just a little kid talking about

how ridiculous it was to wipe your butt with toilet paper. And it was like- What's the ad for? A bidet. Okay. I saw an ad on Instagram for tushy. Yeah, dude. It's a bidet. Here's what I thought. You people are resisting this? It's happening.

Your booty is gonna be getting sprinkled really soon. It will happen. It's happening. Because everybody who does it loves to gush about it. No pun intended. Wow, that's good. I was on Instagram. That could be a tagline for it.

I saw an ad for Tushy, which was a, it's an add on to your toilet that's a bidet. They should be a sponsor. And they're not a sponsor, but they should be a sponsor. Let's make that happen. And I was prepping for my vacation. I see this ad and I say, you know what? All you gotta do is take the lid off the toilet,

put it down, put the lid back on and then hook it up to the water supply. But under the toilet, it's not like I have, you know, we both have fancy toilets that do so much more. But I was like, I'm gonna buy one of these right now and I'm gonna take it with me on vacation. That's a good instinct.

So what I, I bought a bidet. Or a good instinct. And when I, I tried to hook it up at home downstairs. So that- Did you request permission from your Airbnb host? No, I didn't. I'm going to put a bidet on one of your toilets. No, because- But then I'm gonna take it with me.

I'm gonna leave no trace. Okay. Like a good camper. But I was hooking it up at home and I was missing a piece with my type of toilet, so I had to order that piece. It didn't come in time, so I did not take the Tushy on my vacation. You took the accordion. But when I was buying the Tushy,

there was an add-on for an extra 20 bucks. You can get the accordion portable. And I was like, this is genius. Yeah. I'm genius. Everybody should have one. I'm gonna buy this. So I bought that and I took that with me. And boy, I'd fill that thing up

and I would squeeze it so hard. You really gotta squeeze. I just don't, it doesn't give me, I want, the pressure that I get. Yeah, you cannot replicate the pressure. I just don't, it doesn't give me, I won't. The pressure that I get. Yeah, you cannot replicate the pressure. I jack it up. I jack that pressure all the way. Yeah, you cannot replicate the pressure.

I mean, it's like a rocket. I can feel it in my throat. Oh gosh. But the bottom line is. That's clean. Is maybe a good cheap way. So clean you feel it in your throat. I don't think that the portable bidet. Not a sponsor.

The portable bidet is not a good way to introduce yourself to the world of bidets because you'll be like, this doesn't feel as, it's not powerful. You need a real bidet, but get the tushy. How much is the one that's just the add-on? I didn't even look at the price. It's so good you won't even care.

Oh, the main camera just went to sleep. So we're gonna finish up this episode. In the singles. In the singles. We talked so long, we ran the battery out of this thing. We had some good vacations, man. Yeah, we did. Even if they were bad, they're good now because we talked about it so much.

We got two podcasts out of this. Oh, you want, I can't make this. You know how I always want to, well, we can split this up. No, don't split, man. You know what, this is a bonus for you. The way that you Americans just look down your noses at the idea of bidets and you ask stupid questions like,

so you get wet? Yes, you get wet, you get clean. You taking a freaking shower before? It's like a shower for your butthole. It's not that hard to understand. You still wipe. Yes. First, then you bidet to get totally clean

and then if you don't have a dryer on your bidet, then you dab a little bit more. Yeah. But you do an initial wipe to make sure that you're not dealing with too much. Yeah, right now we're first in COVID and last in bidets. Let's reverse that.

Come on, America. Yeah. Do something smart for once. I can't recommend the Tushy. Enough. Appliance yet. Because A, they're not paying me and I want you to pay me, Tushy.

Yeah, yeah, Tushy. I want you to pay me, Tushy. Yeah, yeah, Tushy. I want you to pay him too. But I also, I need to. Because I get 50%. I need to test it out and I haven't done it. I just got the piece yesterday that hooks up to my water supply. So the jury's still out on the Tushy,

but it looks cool. You can have different color knobs. Oh. And I'll let you know if it, in my wreck. And your rectum. If it works. Let's, this was not a wreck, this is a rectum. This is not a recommendation. This is a rectum and a factum.

All right, hashtag Ear Biscuits. We'll talk at you next week. Yes. Dang, that was a marathon. It was fun.