Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - 93: Have We Crossed the Line? ft. Rhett & Link | Ear Biscuits Ep. 93

Episode Date: May 8, 2017

Link’s dream of riding horses, a deadly new animal named after Pink Floyd, whether or not it’s ethical to eat a talking pizza and more on this week’s episode of Ear Biscuits. SUBSCRIBE to This Is Mythical: https://goo.gl/UMXvuW Follow This Is Mythical: Facebook: http://facebook.com/ThisIsMythical Instagram: http://instagram.com/ThisIsMythical Twitter: http://twitter.com/ThisIsMythical Other Mythical Channels: Good Mythical Morning: https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2 Good Mythical MORE: https://youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3 Rhett & Link: https://youtube.com/rhettandlink Credits: Hosted By: Rhett & Link Executive Producer: Stevie Wynne Levine Managing Producer: Cody D'Ambrosio Editor: Meggie Malloy Graphics: Matthew Dwyer Set Design/Construction: Cassie Cobb Content Manager: Becca Canote Logo Design: Carra Sykes To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Mother's Day is this weekend, and that is why our moms, or at least our moms' voices, are making a cameo on Good Mythical More this week for what I think is one of the most touching moments we've had on the show. Well, it was interesting because they tested our knowledge of them and stuff just to see

which one of us knows our mom better, but by the end, your mom had some really funny stuff to say. There's like a weird recipe in there, but then my mom started going into this speech that like, spoiler alert, I may have cried just a little bit on Good Mythical More, so you gotta watch for the little tear, but you know what, that's why I gotta do my mom right

this year and give her some flowers. That's why I'm sending her some from proflowers.com. The 100 Blooms for Mom Bouquet. Oh man, it's gonna wow her with bright, colorful flowers and love from me. And you can also do that at proflowers.com for just $19.99. It comes with a free glass vase and if you really wanna make a statement,

you can upgrade to the premium vase and include some gourmet chocolates for just 10 bucks more. You choose your delivery date that you want and ProFlowers guarantees your flowers will arrive fresh and beautiful and stay that way for at least seven days or your money back. All right, so to get that deal, go to proflowers.com and be sure to click on the microphone in the top right corner, guys, and use our code EAR, E-A-R.

Pretty easy. It's just three letters for a code. That's proflowers.com, code EAR when you click on the mic to get the free vase starting at just $19.99. Order today before you're out of time and ProFlowers is out of this bouquet. Welcome to Ear Biscuits. This week at the round table of dim lighting, it is me, Rhett.

And me, Link. And we're going to be talking to one another, but we're going to be talking to you at the same time, answering your questions. It's a Q and an A. We got your Qs, we give the As. We got the Qs, we give the As. We got the Qs so we could get the As.

And if we gave the As without the Qs, it would be confusing or con-cusing. No, never mind. And I'm gonna give us an A, preemptively. For effort. On this, because we don't get grades anymore. Yeah baby, come on, let's do this. The kids that we have.

They don't know what grades are, man. No, they get grades. Oh yeah? They get grades. Oh. You know? They do? I mean I know they do some homeschooling,

they do some charter schooling, but they're getting grades. It's really free form though. And then when my wife was out of town, I was grading Shepard's work and I was like. Are you capable of that? Yeah, I had a red pen. Well it takes more than that, you gotta know if the answers are right.

Well it was like second grade math. Exactly. So I knew all the answers. When's the last time you did second grade math? In second grade, but I was checking. Well actually, you do second grade I knew all the answers. When's the last time you did second grade math? In second grade, but I was checking. Well actually, you do second grade math like all the time. It's like the math that you still need. I busted out a calculator today to like do some subtraction.

Some subtraction. And so I'm doing, I'm checking and I'm putting check next to the ones that are right and x's next to the ones that are wrong. Mmm, you're like a drill sergeant. And then I like gave him a grade and then I did a smiley face and I was like, great job, Shepard. I just found myself becoming a teacher and wishing that maybe I'd have done that. Are you serious?

It was cool. It was just a nice sensation, but you didn't literally wish that you would have become a teacher. No. I mean, you know what it's like to be a teacher, right? I don't know, have any idea.

It's hard. I've never been a, no it's not, it's one of the best jobs in the world. You get to invest into the youth of tomorrow? It's one of the most important jobs on Earth for the record. The children are the future. It's a thankless job.

Yeah but I think you stay young. It's like being a mom. I think you stay young. Except you're other people's kids. It's like, or a dad. But yeah but you don't have to put them to bed. Male or female to be a teacher? You don't have to put, thanks for clarifying, Link.

Well I said mom, I didn't wanna just, you know. I, no, I'm not saying, well you know what I wanna be? I wanted to be a professor, I think is what I wanted to be. Because when you're a teacher, like of school age kids, then you have to like worry about their development and stuff, you know, I don't have time for that. Right, in college. But a professor is just like. It's about you as a college professor.

I wear an ascot and I make all of you laugh and I do research and in the summers I go to the. Sabbatical. Antigua for research. Well, they go on sabbaticals, which is like extended vacations. Your dad, his dad's a professor. Of law. Of college law.

Well, of university law. Like real estate law or something? Well, college is typically what they call undergraduate. Law school is graduate school, so he's just a law professor is what they call it in the industry. Law professor. Teacher of law.

What was my point? That he takes sabbatical. Has he ever taken a sabbatical? Daddy Mac ain't got time for sabbaticals, man. What you said was revealing when I really honed in on what you actually wanted when you were grading Shepherd's Paper, the first thing you said when you talked about being a college professor was,

make them laugh, say some jokes. Oh yeah. You just want a captive audience that wants to suck up to you for good grades. You get all the laughs. My dad is a comedian, he's a stand up comedian. He stands up in front of a class and makes them laugh. Now they also learn.

About real estate law? That's a challenge, that's pretty great. I think he just wills and trusts at this point and some other things. He writes a book too, do you know there's a book in North Carolina law and he writes the book and updates it every year. Daddy Mac's Guide to Wills and Trusts.

And he's like, will it trust? Sometimes I talk to him and I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm updating the book. I'm updating the book again. He takes pride in the books being updated. You know, because the years change. Well yeah, because the laws change and you gotta anticipate and incorporate laws.

See, I could have been a professor. See, I could use those multiple syllable words right back to back like that. That's what they do. But really what happens is whenever he updates his book, he gets paid again. Well, you didn't have to say that. He gets paid because they got to buy the new one.

Right, it's like selling it all over again. I know the business of law. Yeah, that's why I update my look every once in a while, every 10 years or so, to get paid again. So people will keep watching us or listening? Yeah, that's why you cut your hair? Yeah, so the people come back. Same product, new and improved packaging.

Yeah, your glasses have suddenly changed over the years. I mean, that's one advantage you've got over me. I don't have eyewear that can change suddenly over time. People don't know that you've been through 74 pairs of glasses and if you watch a lot of our videos closely, you can see the very subtle changes but 74 different pairs of glasses. Honestly, I know I've been, one, two, three, four.

74. Five different, five styles of glasses. All right, well that's a little bit off. In different. Five, okay. Five styles of glasses. All right, well I was a little bit off. In a little over 10 years. Yeah, well you kinda ruined my point, but 74 would have made it seem. You were making a point? I think your point was you give us an A.

I'm tasting the blood, man. Okay, we're gonna answer some questions. You're not concerned about that? See, sometimes I toss out something, like I'm tasting the blood, and then you ignore it totally, but it was my segue and it's telling you about something. Oh, okay,'m tasting the blood, and then you ignore it totally, but it was my segue and it's telling you about something. Oh okay, you're tasting the, what do you mean?

That's it, that's what I was looking for. You bit your tongue? I bit my tongue when I was eating that bowl of rice thing beforehand. Yeah. And it's still bleeding a little. Yeah, you know what, I've kinda gotten to this, yeah. I've gotten to a point in our friendship

where I don't want you to tell me when you bite your tongue because it happens more often than you change your glasses. It annoys me that you never bite your tongue. Do you even have one? Your teeth are so recessed. You have small little teeth, man. This is about your teeth. I'm incredibly careful.

Are you constantly careful not to bite your tongue? If you've never done it, why be careful? It's an anatomy thing. No, you constantly careful not to bite your tongue? Yeah. If you've never done it, be careful. It's an anatomy thing. No, you know what happened to me? I was born tall, I grew up tall, and lots of people think that tall people are clumsy. But I have this cat-like instincts.

I get that. And going through doors, I'm really self-conscious about hitting my head or stepping on people. You would think, oh the tall guy, he's a giant. He steps on people. My five foot three wife steps on my feet way more than I step on her feet. I don't think I've ever stepped on anybody's feet.

They're way down there and you still don't step on people? And I don't bite my tongue very often. I think your point is. I'm constantly thinking about not injuring myself. I think. That's my secret. But what I take you to mean is that you don't constantly tell me about how tall you are

so I shouldn't constantly tell you that I'm biting my tongue because it happens every day. Yeah, it happens all the time. It's like you saying, you remember I'm tall, right? Yeah, yeah, so you don't have to say I'm tasting the blood, you can just. As long as you know, chances are I'm biting my tongue. Yeah. Constantly.

But ironically, metaphorically, I will own the fact that I should bite my tongue more often. You should. Meaning not say something that I'm about to say. Yeah, yeah, you should do that kind of biting. But on this show, we can say whatever we want. That's why we do this show. But you know, also, speaking of shows that we do,

I almost forgot, it is official, we can announce it right now because we did also announce it on Good Mythical Morning today. Yes. Buddy System season two! On YouTube Red. That was a weird harmonic that was like two!

Flat, and I held up four. Rhett and Link's Buddy System on YouTube Red, our scripted show that we absolutely love making. There's more of it. I just said love making. Yeah. I didn't want you to give away the subject matter of this season. Season two is all about love making. Not really. We love making it. It's longer, so there's more love to be made.

Yeah. Half hour episodes, which really just means 22 minutes in like television terms, but it's not on television, so it's somewhere around that length. 50% more buddy system in season two. We're in the process of writing it. Yeah, super, super excited about it. Really hoping that those of you who don't have YouTube Red

yet will consider getting it, because more and more stuff is coming to the platform. But mostly we just want you to watch our show because we have a blast making it. The creative that's coming together right now is so, so strange and weird. It's so strange. What I hope is a wonderful way.

I think, you know, it's not good until it gets strange. I think we're like pushing it and we're in a room with some writers and we're like collaborating. Yeah, we're collaborating more. In season one we. Which is fun, it was not just the two of us. It was just the two of us. Fighting.

And now with these episodes being longer and also kinda having set the template in season, season one we wrote it ourselves. We're like, this is how we want to do a world, you know? Yeah. And so now that you've done that, you kinda have some tracks to run on. You could bring in some experienced and qualified writers

to collaborate with. So we're getting not just our weird ideas, their weird ideas. We got lots of weird ideas. And there's lots of things, many moments that are happening every day in the writer's room where I'm like, should we do this? Which means yes.

And then, yeah. Whenever we ask that question, it's like, is this too crazy? You know that you're in a sweet spot. The question I'm asking is like, is it weird enough yet and then we keep pushing. We just gotta push it, just gotta keep pushing. Keep on pushing it.

We made a post on the Facebook and we asked you to ask us questions in an Ear Biscuit format, which that's not exactly what we asked and what I said didn't mean anything. Ask us questions in an Ear Biscuit format. I don't know, it's like words coming out of my mouth. We just asked you to ask us questions and now we're gonna go through some of them.

We're gonna answer them on the format called Ear Biscuits. Yeah. Brandon Falling. Falling, he's falling. Okay, I almost did a voice but I'm not going to because I don't know what his voice sounds like and I don't wanna insult him with a voice. Yeah.

So I'll just give him my voice. This is just my voice Brandon, not yours. I'm reading your answer in my voice. But you should do an impression of just any voice. Okay so, I'm a landscaper and absolutely love what you do with spring. It says what I do. You just totally made the question about us.

That's what I was concentrating on. I'm a landscaper and absolutely love what I do. Okay, that's a good point. I gotta go back to my voice. Make no presumptions about what he, whether he. I can't read it right if I'm gonna do a voice. He could hate us. I was thinking too much about my voice. Okay, so I'm a lands.

He hates you now. I'm a landscaper and I absolutely love what I do. With Spring here, it's a good time to ask my question. What do your yards look like? LBS, I don't know what LBS stands for. Pounds, how many pounds are your yards? Do you enjoy mowing your grass and or any yard work? Good question.

This is a big, big question, we get it all the time. Now, I think we may have said this before and it's gonna sound a little, I mean, listen, I didn't know when you moved to Los Angeles that 98% of the people who live here, regardless of socioeconomic status. He's speech jammed. I'm a professor.

Socioeconomic. Somebody cuts your yard, somebody does your landscaping. And the first house. Blow and blow. Yeah, that's the company somebody does your landscaping. And the first house that. Blow and blow. Yeah, that's the company that does it for me. That's what it's called. The first house that we rented here, after the short term apartment that we were in,

the guy was like, and it comes with a gardener. And I was like, oh, it must be nice. And it wasn't nice. I just learned that every house, most houses, there's a gardener. And it's concluded with a rent. And it's just a dude who cuts the grass. Because your yard does not come with a garden.

No, I have no garden. Someone who mows it then blows it. If you're in North Carolina and you got somebody who you pay to mow your grass, you're just highfalutin. You're a chump. Well, I mean, it means you're just kind of rich. You're a rich softy. Rich softy.

You know what I mean? But here it just means you're just an Angeleno. You're just a Los Angeles person. So I gotta say that I haven't cut grass in a very long time and I don't know what it's doing to me but what does the yard look like? I actually have very, very little grass. I have a little strip of grass that I would say is,

because my house is on a hill. Your gardener's making out like a bandit. No. You got a little strip of grass. No but he's dealing with vines and plants in a slope that has some sort of ground cover on it. There's quite a lot going on but the grass, and then there's one part that's almost all concrete

where we got the basketball goal, but then there's that like six feet by 25 feet rectangle of grass, which I actually recently talked to my gardener about making into just artificial turf. That's a good idea. Because he, but then the dog poop, you got it. The dog poop sits on top. But you have to clean it up.

But it just sits on top. If it's real grass, it'll biodegrade. You don't, you just let your dog crap just descend into the earth? Well I don't because. Like a lost soul? Jade does it on like crushed granite. Well look at you, Mr. Crushed Granite. What are you?

Is she like a? What, yeah, I'm a highfalutin softy, man. I got crushed granite. Hold on, she has like a spot that she poops on? Like a cat? Yeah. Yeah, you know that strip of crushed granite I got there on the side of the house that's just like hard dirt?

In the back? On the side. just like hard dirt? In the back? On the side. But within the gate? Within the gate. Within the gate, don't let the dog out of the gate. Well I do, but then she attacks like poodles that are walking by. You know what I need, I don't need a gardener,

I need a concrete cleaner because. She poops on that too. No, I'm just saying my whole backyard is nothing but concrete. So I need someone to come and power wash it every few months because it starts to not look good. I do my own power washing, that's a different thing. You've got standards?

So yards are looking good, Brandon. If you were ever in the Los Angeles area and you enjoy what you do, you can stop by and landscape for us. I love landscaping, I do miss doing it as a meditative aspect to riding on that rotating blade. You know what that is for me now? What?

It is taking leaves out of the pool with a big net. It's kinda like raking a zen garden. I actually play Apple Spa radio while I do it. People think I got a frickin' Buddhist temple up in my house. I play it so loud. I got spa radio playing. People think there's monks up there making like lager and then they get up there

and it's you cleaning out a pool. And the way that the pool area is with this like, it's kind of amplified with this like concrete wall and it shoots it down over the neighborhood. And I play it loud, loud and proud. Hit him with it. And I'm out there just meditating. Just blast him with that yoga meditation. Having a freaking silent retreat all to myself

just with a big old thing pulling frogs and large bugs and just throwing them over the side. I make my kids do that. Teach them a lesson. Lando does that. Claire Rebecca Lawrence asks, have you guys ever ridden horses before? This is Jessie.

So this must be a relative using, Jessie's using Claire's Facebook account. That could be my wife. My wife may have a Facebook account under Claire Rebecca Lawrence. Why would she want to ask us if we've ever ridden horses before? Maybe she's dropping a hint.

I have though. She wants a horse? No, she likes riding horses and she really enjoys it. Well let me tell you, you know I brought this up. You know I brought this up. All right so, I was laying in bed next to my wife. Well that's good. Christy.

And we were doing what we frequently do. Which is, she's on her phone on Instagram and we're doing what we frequently do, which is she's on her phone on Instagram and Facebook. Yeah, that's what you do frequently. And I'm looking over her shoulder because I am not active on Instagram or Facebook. But you could be. But I am active over her shoulder. Actively looking over her shoulder.

I am socially active with my wife in the bedroom on her media. And there was this friend of hers that, like, she had, from North Carolina, an acquaintance. She didn't even know that well. And I looked over her shoulder and I was like, what's that? And you know how the videos will just start playing on Facebook and she's like scroll, scroll, scroll. And it was a GoPro mounted on a helmet

of someone riding a horse. No sound, you know, sound doesn't play until you like click on it or something. I mean, I'm so ignorant. That's how Facebook works, yeah. And so I'm like, she kept scrolling, I was like, what, what, what, what is that? She's like, I don't know, I'm so ignorant. That's how Facebook works, yeah. And so, I'm like, she kept calling, I was like, what, what, what, what's that? She's like, I don't know, so and so,

my, you're from North Carolina? He's like, yeah, she posted this video of someone riding a horse. Not interested. Go back to it. And then I was like, could I have your phone? And then like, I took the phone, I went back to that and I pressed play on it.

Now I'm hearing sound. Horse sound. And for the next 14 minutes, 14 minute video of one woman talking. And one horse. And one horse on one unedited ride. And it wasn't, it was one of those things where it's like they're jumping over the bars.

Steeplechase. Steeplechase stuff. And. I don't know if it's... Steeplechase. Steeplechase stuff. And... I don't know if it's called steeplechase. I think that's like a... I was absolutely mesmerized by it. Is it like VR horse riding? It felt like I was riding a horse in my bedroom.

But you were laying in your bed. Yeah. Yeah, and... Hold on. Did you take the phone from your wife or did you make her watch this with you? I took it from her and then. And what did she do?

I let her look over my shoulder if she wanted to. She rolled over and went to sleep. If you're gonna watch the horse video, I'm going to sleep. For like 14 minutes. And I realized for the first time how amazing it can be to ride a horse. Well I think it's a lot more amazing

to actually ride a horse. Well I think it's a lot more amazing to actually ride a horse. Well, I just felt like I had some insight into it for the first time ever having that perspective. She was talking to the horse and she was like, okay, you can do it, now don't get ahead of yourself. Could you see the horse's head? Yeah, see the horse's head and I could see the jumps and everything coming and she was like,

she was giving the horse physical signals about what to do, I inferred. Because the things that she was... Yeah, with the feet and the reins. Yeah, and the things that she was saying was just verbally processing. That's just how she rides a horse. She's like... Oh, that was cool. ...very anxious about, oh, you did a great job.

I mean, she gives the horse encouragement, but she's like, all right, stay with me. Stay with me. Uh-uh. And it's like she's saying things. Rebuking the horse. Rebuking, like she could tell when the horse like lost interest or was like going the wrong way or. They tend to do that. There's so much trust in that relationship.

You're on the back of a huge beast and you're doing these little subtle physical things that then send this beast that you're on the back of over obstacles, soaring through the air. But let me point something out. Over water, over bars. Let me point something out though. I have to do it.

Yeah, but riding a horse can be arranged relatively easy. I have to do it. This isn't like, you know what, I've got to go to the Amazon. This isn't like, you know what, I've got to go to the Amazon. It isn't like something that requires a lot of thought and a lot of planning, it's like, well, we can ride a horse tomorrow if you want to. I mean, literally, we could go to Griffith Park,

you could ride a horse. But yeah, you know what, I've seen those people and they're going in lines and it's like, you're looking at the horse in front of you, take a crap. But hold on, you gotta start somewhere. You don't wanna get on the horse and have of you, take a crap. But, hold on, hold on. And you're going like, doop, doop. You gotta start somewhere. You don't wanna get on the horse and have him jump over bars and stuff. I think I do.

I have, in my bed. In Costa Rica, we rented, rented. Rented a horse? We rode horses. Like Hertz rent a horse? And they were very lax about us staying together. There's no regulations. And we were just flying all over the place,

going through the jungle. I had that thing galloping, and I have no idea what I'm doing. Why didn't you come back and tell me I had to ride a horse? Well, I didn't know, it was something you didn't know about. Well, that's the first time you'd ridden a horse, right? No, it was like the eighth time I've ridden a horse.

You've ridden a horse eight times, and this is what it's like, and you've never told me? I rode a horse as a child. One of my earliest memories is being put on a horse. Like how did you avoid, you grew up in the country. How did you not get on a horse? My Uncle Ross bought a horse for my cousin Keith. Why didn't you get on the horse?

Well he got kicked off the horse and he broke an arm and they tried to put me on the horse once and I was probably seven or eight years old and you know I was a real timid kid. Yeah. It would scare me to death because he was like, I broke my arm on this horse, get up there. Well you gotta get a calm horse.

That's why, you know what, the interesting thing is. And then I didn't do it. Psychologically, this is why your favorite animal is a miniature horse because you're scared of large horses. That's it. You can't ride a miniature horse though, that's inhumane. It can pull you in a cart. Yeah, so we can work that out.

Where's the best place on earth to ride a horse? And not like at Mule at the Grand Canyon speed. That's what I wanna know. Best place on earth to ride a horse and that's where I'm gonna do it. Okay, let Link know that with hashtag Ear Biscuits. And I will, like within minutes of a gallop, I will be sobbing like a baby.

It is really great and every time I do it, I say, why don't I do this more? So we gotta go ride horses together. I gotta tell Link about this. Deirdre James asks, if you had a pizza that could talk, would you still eat it? Is this a question? Well, but you know, before you answer that question,

I really, really like to eat. Like, possibly too much, definitely too much. You put something in front of me, I eat it. Well, yeah, you've definitely proven that on the show, and you eat all of it. Right, and I believe, especially as I get older, I need to be making better choices. I need to be eating real food with real ingredients.

Well Rhett, there's an elegant solution for that and it's called Blue Apron. Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-proportioned ingredients to you to make delicious home-cooked meals for less than $10 per person per meal. And each meal comes with a step-by-step, easy-to-follow recipe card and pre-proportioned ingredients, and it can be prepared in 40 minutes or less.

Featured upcoming meals include baked spinach and egg flatbread with sautéed asparagus and lemon aioli, and three cheese and baby broccoli stromboli with tomato and oregano dipping sauce. I said tomato. Did you hear that? I did hearoli with tomato and oregano dipping sauce. I said tomato, did you hear that? I did hear you say tomato and oregano dipping sauce. That sounds great. It does sound pretty great. You can check out this week's menu

and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash ear. Create incredible home cooked meals with Blue Apron. That's blueapron.com slash ear. Blue Apron, a better way to cook. Okay Deirdre, if you had a pizza that could talk, would you still eat it? Of course.

Is this, is it, of course? Yeah I don't even have to think about this one because just because a piece of pizza is sentient or sentient, we're still, the jury's still out on what the correct way to say that is. But you say sentient, I say sentient, but I'm switching to sentient. How to pronounce.

Sentient. Acai, gyro, pho, how to pronounce. Not interested in any of those, sentient. Yeah, let's play the how to pronounce video, this is how the world works now. Sentient or sentient. Oh, well. We have options.

Well sentient's wrong. Sentient. Sentient, sentient or sentient. So it was. Sentient or sentient. Sentient, sentient or sentient. 30,000 views on this thing, 10 comments. Okay, what do you prefer?

We gotta make a choice here. First comment, well which one is it? Exactly. Well, you got options, man, you got choices. Yeah, these are the only two choices in my mind so I feel like there should be one or the other. But both works, I suppose. Well, hold on, we can make the definitive decision

right now, do we have the authority to do that? I'm gonna have in my mind my vote and you have in your mind your vote. Do you understand my prompt? Yeah, I'm gonna. Do you have it? But let me tell you my. Don't change your answer. Let me tell you my rationale for why I'm picking this. I'm picking it because it sounds more like what it means.

Okay, well, I just like sentient. That's not an option. What? It's either sentient or sentient. Oh really? You're saying the one that I was saying earlier which is not an option. That's not an option. What? It's either sentient or sentient. Oh really? You're saying the one that I was saying earlier which is not an option. That's not an option?

No, it's sentient. I thought I heard her say that. It's not sentient, it's sentient or sentient. Sentient or sentient. Sentient. Yeah. No, sentient. Sentient, yeah, didn't that sound like something that knows itself?

Sentient. Know thyself. What about sentient? Sentient pizza. Sentient. Pizza. Soelf. What about sentient? Sentient pizza. Sentient. Pizza. So I was wrong. I don't care if a pizza.

With all the options there were. I'm honestly saying this, I don't care if a pizza has a soul, has the ability to be my friend. A piece of pizza is still a piece of pizza and its primary purpose in the universe is to be eaten by me. So I don't care how smart it is,

I would have a lovely conversation with it, but I would also eat it without hesitation, as long as it didn't have mouth parts or a brain that would make it different than pizza. Well no, no, no, it has a mouth, dude. Yeah, but it's like made of pizza parts. Yeah, kinda like that. It's like tongue is like a black olive or something.

Like the VR burger that you were on Good Mythical Morning. As long as it's pizza to the core and no weird pizza brain that's like something that you would expect in a sentient being. Like I gotta eat around the tongue. Like I'm not gonna eat the tongue. Yeah. Because it has a real tongue.

If it has teeth, they're like pieces of, you know, just hard cheese or something. Onions. Onions, better than that, yeah, onions. The lips are pepperoni. Yeah, and the eyeballs are black olives, that's what I should've said. But it's got a tongue that's like salami.

No problem there. But while you're eating it, it's like, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. I'm not making it up, I feel no sympathy for it. I think you're a horrible, horrible person. Really? I would only eat the talking pizza if what it said was, feel free to dine upon me.

It's cool, man. I mean, it would have to be like counseling me through this traumatic event of me eating the thing that's talking to me. It would have to be, you know what? This is what I made for. I'm not feeling any of this, well I am but. He doesn't have a choice of what he's made for.

Now if it's a person. Who does? If it's a person who is somehow embodying a piece of pizza, either purposely or accidentally. Is it a human voice or is it a pizza voice? I'm saying this is a human voice coming out of a pizza. Does it talk like the piece of pizza on Uncle Grandpa which is played by the guy that sounds just like Jack Black who I think is the guy from Workaholics?

Yeah, who we see at the Clippers game. What's his name, Adam? Adam. Adam Devine or Devine, I'm gonna have to search that. He's a sentient being. He's sentient. Yeah, I would eat the piece of pizza. The pizza would have to be constantly coaxing me

into dining on it. Listen, I'm in charge in this situation. You're horrible, man. Between me and the piece of pizza. Gosh. Next question. I'd rather not do this show with you anymore. Well you're not a piece of pizza.

Well I know you're not gonna eat me, I'm just saying ethically. Christian, or Kristen Basford. Oh. What is the best way to organize your clothes? Hanging or folded? Should shirts be color coded or organized by sleeve length or function?

How far apart should hangers be placed? Lots of questions in this. Well I've asked all of these questions of myself and more. When it comes to, I'm sure. Oh yeah, when it comes to the organization and placement of anything in my life, my wife and I are both in like lockstep. Are you in lockstep meaning that you,

well it's not, it's a little annoying, but. Listen, I'm not asking you what defines our intimacy. Are you both in lockstep meaning that you have Listen, I'm not asking you what defines our intimacy. Are you both in lockstep meaning that you have the same system or just you're both very organized? Do you guys have the same system to organize and close and did you discuss or do you just have your own? We have a walk-in closet that we share off of our bedroom.

But it's divided between your side and her side. I have the end part and she has the whole right side which is twice as much as me and then she has the left part where like shoes and then I have like a half of a shelf for some of my shoes. And I was coming out of the walk-in closet yesterday morning and she was in the bathroom, she came out at the same time she came out.

You were walking out? I was walking out and she was walking out of the bathroom. We met and she said, did bathroom, she came out at the same time she came out. You were walking out? I was walking out, and she was walking out of the bathroom. We met, and she said, did you notice the closet? And I was like, no, actually. And I turned around and looked, and it looked as pristine as it always does. And she was like, I worked on the closet yesterday. I was like, oh, actually, your side looks great. She was like, no, I worked on your side too.

I removed all of the hangers that weren't being used, and now they're in this other place. She had organized my closet because she loves me so much. I felt bad for not noticing. She's more meticulous than I am. That's why I didn't notice. But I think my answer, I don't know Christy's answer, I think she does it differently, it's not my business.

But for mine, which turns out is her business, because she can reorganize it any way she wants and it's how she shows she loves me and I accept it. First of all, I like to hang stuff versus folding things because there's lines on stuff that are folded. Lines. Clothing lines. Yeah. Now I still fold a lot of stuff. My t-shirts are all folded but I don't

prefer it. But I hang up all my shirts and stuff. But what is your system? How do you organize the shirts? Because I'm interested in that. Short sleeve button-ups, then long sleeve button-ups, but then within the long sleeve button-ups, it goes from less dressy to more dressy, because on the far left side of my closet, it gets to dress shirts, which are also button-up long sleeve shirts, and then to suits. You know, you accumulate those suits that you wear

once to award shows and then you never wear them again. I got all those over there. But within those, is there wear once to like award shows and then you never wear them again. I got all those over there. But within those, is there any color, attention to color? I got all my plaids together and I got all my solids together and then for the short sleeve, I have my plaids together and my solids together. But there's no gradation between,

you've got plaids separated from colors but there's no like darks to lights, there's no spectrums. No, it's just either colors or plaids because I have so many plaids. And I have to make decisions like, what am I wearing on Good Mythical Morning? I don't wanna wear too many plaids in a row or too many solids, long sleeves or short sleeves.

You may be surprised to know this that I mean. What's yours? I'm assuming that you just think mine is just a free for all. And it can be at times but first of all, Jessie and I have invested in all wooden hangers. So they're like bigger and nicer and it keeps everything separated.

I love that. And we've gotten rid of the wire hangers. And sometimes the wire hangers get in there when you bring something back from the dry cleaner and then you've got. That's what Christy cleaned out on my side. And as much as I'm not really the anal about this stuff, it does bother me and I do like to have them,

I do like to have them out there. I've experimented with two different ways. I at one point experimented with a fully color coordinated closet. Meaning you did it once and then it just devolved over time. Meaning that I did it and then realized that you make choices about your... More often, the driving factor in making a choice about clothing is occasion and weather.

Right. Which means that the function of the clothing, be it more dressy, less dressy, or long sleeve, short sleeve, That's the driving factor in the choice matrix that you have in front of you. So you evolved into my system. Yeah, but I'm very bad about... Maintenance. ...keeping it intact because...

That's tough. ...I get home and I'm like... And then I've got like... I don't like to put things in the dirty clothes. Oh yeah. I got a chair and I just drape, drape, drape, drape, drape, drape, drape. Well, what I do is at the end of the day, I smell the pits because that's really the only, I don't get stains, I'm not a child.

I don't get stains on my shirt. So I smell my armpits. And it goes in the bin or it goes in the. Not while it's on, I take it off of me. Oh and then you smell it. And then I smell it, because you might be just smelling your own pits. You don't wanna smell yourself. Oh that's a good it. And then I smell it, because you might be just smelling your own pits. You don't wanna smell yourself.

Oh that's a good point. And then I'm like, is this acceptable? And then there's a level of BO that you can smell in the pits that you know will dissipate within 24 hours. Yeah. Or the next time you wear it. And then there's a level of stink that you know is so deep set that this is, this is.

It's like an animal mating. Irredeemable. Animal mating scent, like musk. And this is the kind of thing that you have two choices. You can get it dry cleaned or you can sit it into a spot in your closet for like two or three months and let it just evolve the scent away. Yeah, whatever's living there will die.

Yeah, so I don't stick with this very often, but we do have a relatively, and the same percentage breakdown between my side, we have a walk-in closet and she takes up 75% of it. I recently had a negotiation to get back a section of the closet. Ooh, you're trying to reclaim? I said.

Like land in the Netherlands? I just, yeah exactly, I said. You gotta build a shirt canal. I would really like to get this section back because. I hope you really built that up. No, but you know what it was? I'd like to go out to dinner. What you just talked about with the dress clothes.

So, being on Fallon two times this year, and then... Did we mention we were on Fallon? Some award show. And some award show this year? We never dress up. So we have these very few occasions that we dress up, and we always get something new for those occasions and then I just have this outfit

that's big and bulky and this like bag and leave it all together and it's like my dress section got bigger than it needed to be and now I'm just spilling, man, I'm spilling everywhere. You know what you should do. So I'm negotiating for that spot. I don't have it yet though. You should pay your gardener in suits.

Get a tall gardener. He's not my size. Sentient. Arthur James Fred. Fred. If you guys weren't doing GGM, I don't know what that is. We were not doing it. Good good morning.

And you mean GMM, that's fine. I'm not gonna make fun of it. What would your dream jobs be? Man, this is tough. Now we've answered this before. I've been thinking about this because we've answered this before that I would be a paleontologist. I would be a hairstylist.

Again, I'd be a professor that was a paleontology professor and then went to dig up dinosaur bones. I might be a traveling hairstylist because I don't wanna be confined to one place. I might be on like digs. But. Can I be the hair cutter on the digs? Yeah, yeah, no problem. But recently I've been thinking about this more

and I think I actually have a, I've come up with a job that doesn't exist that I would like and that is a fast food item taster. Somebody who lives at home. Yes. And has experimental items is a fast food item taster. Somebody who lives at home. Yes. And has experimental items that are going to be introduced at fast food restaurants like whatever the next McRib is or whatever the next weird Carl's Jr. thing

where they put like four different kinds of meat together on a sandwich. Like Taco Bell's got a lot of desperation. Yeah and because I'm the kind of guy that responds to this sort of advertising and these newfangled rearrangements of food that already exists. You want them to Post-Made it. I want them to give it to me so I can give the notes.

Is it Post-Mate or Post-Made? You can do it however you want to to me. Post-Made it. I will take it and I will eat it and I will give notes on it to let the fast food people know if it's a good idea or not. Because I've got a good palate for that kind of thing and I accept a lot of things.

What's that wine, a wine taster called? Sommelier? Yeah, you're like a fast food sommelier? Yeah. An experimental food sommelier. Yeah, that's what I would be. I think I would just work on a factory line. Oh really?

Like, pull the lever, pull the lever. Mindlessly pull the lever. Simple, it just, it leaves, creates lots of brain space for. Other kinds of thoughts. Other things. Okay. Or no things.

All right, noted. That meditative state you were talking about earlier, like you might refer to it as a rut, pull the lever. I can see you doing that. That's me, man. I can see you doing that. Darlene Agle asks us, now that it is possible, is it ethical for me to raise

my kids almost exclusively on all of the 80s and 90s entertainment I enjoyed as a kid? Is it ethical for her to only show her kid things that she enjoyed as a kid? I don't know if this is a serious question. I'm going to. But it is possible because there's so much retro stuff happening, like Fuller House. Well that wouldn't technically be, I don't think that would apply here because that's so much retro stuff happening. Like Fuller House. Well that wouldn't technically be,

I don't think that would apply here because that's not, it's from the 90s but it's not, it's of the 90s but it is not from the 90s. It would be watching actual Full House. This is a good question because, first of all I don't abide by this. I'm not gonna judge your ethics either way but this does remind me, I do show my kids things

that I enjoyed as a kid. You know, let's watch Back to the Future together. Let's watch E.T., let's watch Goonies, let's watch these 80s movies that were very formative. Well I did that too, but for me it was, I want you to watch all the movies that I should have watched as a kid. Because you didn't watch any of those movies as a kid.

Which is every single one you just mentioned, I watched for the first time along with my kids. Like in the past five years. Which I was just saving it. It's like a form of entertainment virginity. And some of that stuff holds up. I mean some of the movies hold up and some of them don't. Some of them you're like man it was bad back then

and some of them you're like this is so good. And kids are a great barometer for that because. I thought Ghostbusters one held up pretty well. Ghostbusters two did not hold up. Like the gargoyle things, I mean there was a claymation moment, that didn't hold up. But the comedy certainly held up and it made up for the special effects.

Which then some of, many of those still held up. But this. Like Slimer. But this raises another question that is related to this. And it's somewhat serious, Link. This is your question? Somewhat serious. Go it, go for it. Just because the question is about kids

and what they watch and that kind of thing. Because sometimes you'll watch something from the 80s and you're like, oh it's PG, this is totally fine. And then you realize that PG in 1985 was a totally different thing. Oh yeah, like Beetlejuice would drop an F-bomb. Right, and so that reminds me of something that, we see this repeatedly on our videos, right?

So we live in the comment culture where we know what you think about what we do. And that's part of the business that we're in. And on a somewhat frequent basis, we make a video that has what a certain percentage of our audience thinks is questionable content, right? One of the most recent is when we put on women's bras and put some double D gel-based boobies in the bra

and we proceeded to bounce around in slow motion to see, to ask a legitimate question which was, what's the best sports bra? I mean, you need to know these kinds of things. Now, and it, well yeah, you need to know those type of things, but it also seems like it would be pretty hilarious for us to, then our application is we're gonna be the ones to test it.

We're not gonna get women in here to do it. Right. Of course we could have done that. But whenever we do something like that. We know women. Whenever we do something like that, okay, couple of grown men wearing bras, jumping around, boobs going all over the place,

even though they are gel boobs, not real boobs. Falling out splattin'. There's a certain person with a certain sensibility or sensitivity who's like, I don't find this content appropriate, right? And specifically, it's usually, I don't feel comfortable letting my children watch the show with me anymore

because you guys do things like this. Now you're basically quoting a comment that we read. Oh I'm quoting, this is a representative comment that's on that particular video but it's on a certain percentage of our videos where we cross what some people perceive to be a line that we shouldn't cross. Yeah and there's different, those lines are different

for different things, it's not just when we do things that women should do, that they think women should do. Well I mean, it could be anything, there's a number of different things, I don't wanna get into the nature of what triggers certain people, but I do wanna talk about it, because I think this isn't,

I'm genuinely interested in this. I mean the first thing I'll say is that I don't place any blame on somebody who says, I think you guys crossed the line and this isn't what I want my kids to watch. It's your, you make the decisions for your children that you feel are best, and that's your business, and I have absolutely no judgment on that,

have nothing to say about it. Second thing I will say that. Because about that one, we certainly learn, being parents ourselves, you learn very early when you're talking to other parents that you gotta be very careful about passing judgment on decisions they make as parents. Right, I quit doing that.

You learned not to do that. A long time ago. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can start talking about what other people should do with their kids. No, it's the people who don't have kids who judge how people raise their kids. But when you have them, you're like, oh crap, okay, all right, I'm not gonna judge anybody.

But no, I think these comments are coming from people with kids and they're like, I'm no longer, I'm not comfortable with my kids watching your show because you wore a sports bra with fake boobs in it and you jumped around on a trampoline. People just say you crossed a line or whatever. Now one thing I will say also is that this is not new. We've been getting these comments for 11 years,

ever since we've been doing YouTube. People like to think that things have changed and things have gotten worse, but we've gotten these comments all along the way. But the second thing I'll say is that our show and everything that we do, none of it is targeted at kids. None of it is intended especially for children, right? Our content is content that we,

our videos are videos that we think are funny. So one question is do you guys think this stuff is funny? Well we wouldn't do it if, I think, when I see Link in a bra, a sports bra, I find that funny. Yes, when we put fake boobs in there and he starts jumping around on a, a sports bra, I find that funny, yes. When we put fake boobs in there and he starts jumping around on a trampoline, yes, I find that funny. We wouldn't do it if we didn't think it was funny.

Yeah, when you did the Pamela Anderson Baywatch run. I thought that was hilarious. I found that very helpful. Yeah. I've been watching myself multiple times over the past couple weeks. Oh, it was ridiculous. So our content's not intended for kids.

However, everything that we, for the most part, everything that we do, especially anything that you're gonna see on Good Mythical Morning, we make it, the standard that we kind of apply to it is that I would let anyone that I know watch the things that we do on Good Mythical Morning. Now it's not for kids, but I personally would let, I'm not gonna do anything on the show

that I don't think a kid could watch. My standard might be different than yours. And well I'll go one step further. I mean, I think we've said this before, but my own kids, like I don't wanna, I was about to say I don't wanna go home, show my kids an episode and be embarrassed, but I'm being embarrassed because it's so ridiculous,

I mean I'm not really embarrassed. But I'm not gonna like say, all right, even Lando, you're eight years old, but you can't watch this episode. But he's not eight years old. How old is he? Seven. I think he's seven years old.

Yeah, seven. Yeah, because my son is eight years old. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. He was six. Yeah. That's what confused me. I thought he was an even number.

You don't go from six to eight though. That doesn't happen anymore. I thought he was an even number. I got three, man. I know that you're- Yeah, it's tough to keep up with. 14 and 12, I got that on lock. And then seven.

And then it'll change. Well, it locks your son's name, but that's not what I meant. Yeah. Anyway, what I'm saying is, I'm comfortable with my kids, even at age seven, watching everything we do, but I don't make it for my seven-year-old to watch, is kinda what you're saying. Yeah, and people have different standards, and it's fine,

and like I said, we live in a comment culture, we're gonna continue to get those comments. You can continue to make those comments, but I think it's important to understand those two things, that A, it's not for kids, B, we make stuff that we think is funny, and I'm gonna add a C, just to clarify, and we do things that we think is appropriate for everyone,

for all ages, and that's what we're gonna do when it comes to Good Mythical Morning. And you know, you can draw a line in a different place, that's where we draw the line, we're not trying to push the limits, we're doing what we think is funny and appropriate. What he's saying is we're sorry and we won't do it again. Yeah and that too.

I think that's what he's saying. Another question. Breezy. Breezy Brianna Steenstein? Breezy Stein. Breezy Stein, you know if you get yourself a big stein, that's like a glass or a cup, right? She says, why are Egyptian artifacts and tombs cursed? You never hear about Greek temples or tombs being cursed.

Do Aztec temples have curses? Not equipped to answer this one. I'm not sure why I asked it. I don't know that I've never heard about a Greek temple or tomb being cursed. Well here's what I'll say, this is my honest answer. I could have heard about a Greek temple or tomb being cursed. Well here's what I'll say, this is my honest answer. I could have heard about it and it just didn't stick with me. I don't think anything is cursed.

I don't think curses are real and I don't think they're physically possible. I don't believe in those kinds of metaphysical things and therefore I don't believe that Egyptian artifacts or tombs have curses that are any different than Greek or Aztec temples. But then if you were in like an Egyptian tomb and it was dark, you remember that time

we were at that film festival? I'd still be scared. And we went down in those stairs, because you were like, there's some stairs in the back of this old theater and it is dark. I mean like pitch dark. Let's go down there. I don't believe in ghosts but I'm still.

And then you got scared. But I still get scared. Deep down. Yeah. So maybe that's revealing something. Maybe that's your body knowing something that your mind doesn't know. I think it's a survival adaptation.

I think that if there's something enters your mind as a possibility that could harm you and if that enters your mind because of cultural customs or something you see in a movie, then if you find yourself in a situation where it's actually to your advantage to picture those things in your mind and want to avoid them,

whereas it actually may be some impulse that results from wanting to make sure that a lion's not about to jump outside a bush and eat you. You're sounding very Greek right now. Yeah. Maybe that's it, maybe the Greek culture didn't allow for the curses. Josh Gajeri, do you wipe sitting down or standing up?

We answered this question on. We explored this in depth on. Good Mythical More. Good Mythical More and we asked the, because we played a guessing game with the crew but. And let me just. I mean just to answer it again. Go ahead.

I wipe sitting down, dude. Well I think I said this. I reach around back and I wipe. I wipe sitting down and then I do one last one standing up just to make sure. Just on your way out? But I'm gonna do this, I haven't asked permission but I'm gonna do this because I feel like I need to.

Don't wipe right now. I feel like I need to. Don't wipe right now. I feel like I need to set the record straight for Alex. Because. What did he say? Alex said that he wiped from the front, which ever since he said that, everybody's thought he's crazy, and if you've tried to wipe from the front,

you recognize that would be a crazy thing to do for anybody, man or woman. Alex doesn't actually wipe from the front but he said that he wiped from the front because he misunderstood the game. When the game, when it was told to him what he, the answers that he would be writing down on that thing when he had to play the game, he thought that he was supposed to be making up an answer to try to get us

to believe something and then once the game started happening, he realized that he was supposed to be making up an answer to try to get us to believe something. And then once the game started happening, he realized that he was supposed to have answered the question honestly, because it wasn't explained to him thoroughly. He was supposed to lie and then stick to it. And so then. As part of that, like are you lying and then it'll be revealed,

hey, I was lying at the end. And so, but then in the midst of the game, he felt the pressure and he went ahead and said, I wipe from the front and then tried to defend it and now everybody thinks that he's crazy, he's a crazy person and he didn't feel. Well he might be but not for that reason. And he didn't feel right about stopping and saying,

guys, I didn't understand the game. That's why we love Alex. I don't really wipe from the front so, thank you Alex for going along with the game but I just feel like we should set the record straight that Alex wipes like a normal person, he is not wiping from the front. He never did, never will. Well I'll tell you, I mean moment of honesty here,

you know what, I'm not ashamed of this. I have taken up recently the practice of peeing sitting down and I'm not gonna, what, I'm not gonna apologize to you or anyone but I am gonna try to explain myself. Yeah, well, please do. Mostly at work, because what's happening is. Hold on, you're sitting down on these and. I'm sitting down on these, yeah.

And peeing? Yeah, and here's why. What I've noticed is that I don't go to the bathroom to pee until I really, really have to go. That's healthy. Because we're so busy, you know, we move from one thing to the next and, I mean, I'm not complaining, I'm just saying that we move from things so quickly,

you almost have to schedule time to pee because of how we move around and stuff. Yeah, I've noticed that lately. People probably think, what do you guys do? Well, I'm not gonna try to defend our schedule, but I will say that peeing is a burden lately. It is a burden, right? I'm like, oh crap, I gotta get into this thing

and we gotta have this conversation about this thing, we gotta have this meeting, but I have to pee and if I pee, I'm gonna be two minutes late for this meeting. Every second counts, so you hold it and hold it. So I'm like holding it through meetings or shoots or whatever, I have to pee like a Russian racehorse right now and I don't know what that means,

if that's offensive to people. Well I think it goes back to a story. If I just offended a Russian racehorse, I'm sorry. It's not Russian as in like the country Russia, it's Russian like R-U-S-H-I-N apostrophe, Russian. Oh it's like they're rushing to the restroom? I have no idea, look that up. Is it Russian racehorse or Russian racehorse?

Let me make my point first. I think it's Russian like Russia, the country. So when I get to the bathroom, all right, I'll look it up. Yeah, I gotta know now. P like a Russian racehorse. Russian racehorse origin? Because it did come up as Russian. In the 70s, trainers started giving a drug called Lasix

to their horses. The drug causes the animals to pee urgently and copiously before a race, often in front of the crowd. Pee like a Russian racehorse. The expression probably originated in rural America where people know about horses. Oh they know about horses. But we're always coming back to horses.

But what Russian, what's Russian about it? The Russians did it? In Russia. Did you give them LASIK surgery, is that what you said? No it was a drug that that they would get them to evacuate before. To lighten the load. Before a race, often in front of the crowd. Well that was interesting.

And I don't know why they're Russian. The Russians tend to, I mean, they are the ones that are most often caught in the doping scandals. I will say that. So I guess it applies to the horses as well. Nothing against the Russian people enjoying the show. I'm just saying you got a reputation for doing the doping when it comes to the Olympics and stuff.

You know, no harm no foul but you know we don't allow that. Yeah I think it's something in there. What's your point though? So when I get to the restroom, I've got quite a payload. And I would stand and pee. And forever. To the point where I would get tired. Oh gosh. Standing? And yeah. But I would try to rush it. Rush it?

I'd try to speed up the rate at which the exit occurred, which you can do. Force it, force it out! Ooh, that's not healthy. Because literally, I was like, I know people are waiting on me for the next thing. That's not the way to do it, though. Right, and I was like, first of all,

I'm not gonna do that anymore. But then it's just taking so long, and I was like, first of all, I'm not gonna do that anymore. But then it's just taking so long and I feel like I'm standing there forever. I just need a rest. So I was like, next time, I'm sitting down and I'm gonna take it as a little respite. And I'm actually going to get done quicker than trying to force it and then think I'm done

and then I'm not. You remember that scene in A League of Their Own where Tom Hanks is peeing forever and then he stops. And Geena Davis can hear it. He stops and then he starts again and then he stops and he starts again. Yeah. I laughed so hard the first time I saw that scene

in that movie, it may have been the hardest I've ever laughed at a movie. That's right. It was so funny to me and I can relate to it. So just going with it. It's kind of like you cleaning out the leaves from your pool, playing the spa music. That is now what I feel like when I pee. I just relax and I'm like, this is gonna take the amount of time it's gonna take and the world is gonna stop, it's all gonna melt away and then I'm gonna flush it.

And it's a moment of centering for me. No I can't hold. But you can't do that standing. I can't hold that against you if that's what you see it as but I see it as a privilege. To me it's like throwing a rock at a pole or something like that. I don't need to turn everything into a carnival game.

But why not? My life's fun enough. If I've got an object or in this case a stream and then there's a ring that I can aim at, think of it this way. If I go to the state fair after hours and I go past the games. You gonna pee on it?

No, no, no, well I may. You gonna pee in the crowd? If I go past that game where you try to throw the ball into the bucket and make it go up the board and then go into the bucket and I don't have to pay a dollar a ball. You're gonna pee on that. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna do it.

Every trip to the bathroom for me is like a free state fair carnival game where I always win. Because I am gonna feel good that I have, there's a reward, there's an intrinsic reward of relief. And I can aim at different things. And listen, I don't wanna get graphic here, but if somebody's left like a little something on the inside of the bowl, I aim at that

and clean it right up like a frickin' power washer. You should come to my concrete backyard and do that. You have absolutely no opportunity to do that by sitting down because it's all in the dark. By sitting down, it's like going to the state fair and just sitting in the bucket that they're trying to throw the ball in. That's not playing the game, that's the guy just relaxing.

You're like a carny taking a break. Yeah. And listen, there's nothing wrong with that, but I see life as a game and you see it as an opportunity for respite. No, my life is a game, but sometimes you gotta warm the bench. Well that's what taking a crap is about, Link, for me.

It's spending a little extra time on there, not too long until you get hemorrhoids. I need more breaks, I only have one of those a day, man. So that's it, I don't sit down all the time, I just sit down when I've got a really full bladder. Okay, Isaac James asks, what do you think of the new found shrimp species pink floida? Can you look this up, Link, because I heard about this.

It is a new shrimp species that was discovered that was named after pink floida because of this very large pink claw, so it's just Pink Floyd and then I-A at the end of it. Shrimp? Shrimp, Pink Floyd-a Shrimp. Pink Floyd-a Shrimp Recipes? No, and click on that picture,

click on one of those pictures there. And this thing, it's amazing because A video. It has the ability with that pink claw to vibrate that pink claw at such a frequency that it creates a sound that is so loud that it creates this bubble and kills fish. I have heard about this.

Is there technical information about it in the article? Because I wanna know if I have heard about this. Is there technical information about it in the article? Because I wanna know if I'm right about this. It snaps, right? What does it say technically? No, don't watch the video, read the article because it says it there. I don't like to read. Just read, it's like three paragraphs at most.

It's like one paragraph. The shrimp found on Panama's Pacific Coast have been dubbed Synapheus pinkfloidea, pinkfloidea, in the peer-reviewed journal Zoetaxa. Oxford University Museum of Natural History researcher Sammy is one of three researchers credited with discovering the creature. He says the description of the shrimp was

the perfect opportunity to finally give a nod to my favorite band. But what does the shrimp do? According to Oxford, pistol or snapping shrimps close their enlarged claws at a rapid speed to create an imploding bubble. The result is a sound so loud it can kill or stun a fish. What in the world, how does this happen?

It's like his claw is emitting, is yelling. It's like breaking the is emitting, is yelling. It's like breaking the sound barrier or something. Well, these are all my words, which means they're all inaccurate, so I can just read this again. Rapid speed to create an imploding bubble. The result is a sound so loud it can kill a stunner fish.

So how can you move your claw so fast underwater that it creates a implode? I don't understand. I don't understand the science. But I will answer the question, what do you think of it? I think it's awesome. I think it's, honestly, I'm not a huge fan of when they name something after a band

or something like that. The reason they do it, and I understand the reason they do it, the reason scientists do this is because today scientists, in order to get normal people to care about the work that they're doing, they have to get cute because a lot of people don't care about science. Yeah. So you gotta have guys like Bill Nye.

Gotta put some rock music in it. Or Neil deGrasse Tyson. Yeah. Who've gotta be cool and have to, and I love both of those guys and think they're doing great work, but the fact that they have to be cool and explain everything in like a dumb down way

to get anybody to care about it, I think is kinda sad. You gotta call the shrimp Pink Floyd just so people will care about it. Isn't it awesome enough that this shrimp has the ability to vibrate its freaking claw at a frequency that creates an imploding bubble that can kill a fish? That, you don't need Pink Floyd to make that awesome.

I mean, Pink Floyd, they're a group. Let them be awesome with their music, but let the shrimp be awesome by himself and give him the right and the privilege of having a name all to himself. Why do I have to name him after a band? Are we really that desperate for clicks? Yes we are.

Yes we are. Now let me read a little bit more because even the details, once we dig a layer deeper, it gets even more fascinating. I think I, I can't remember where I heard about this, but I've heard about it. The shrimp can close its claw at amazing speeds. The two claw halves hit each other on claw closure up to 30,000 RPMs.

The tip of the moving part of the claw moves at 20 meters per second. The water that is located between the claw halves is squeezed out and forms a water jet with a speed of 30 meters per second, or 100 kilometers per hour. The speed of the water jet is so high that we get a drop of the pressure to below the vapor pressure of water, resulting in cavitation. Cavitation occurs when the water velocity is very high in which case the pressure drops considerably

because of the Bernoulli Principle. The pressure drops even below the vapor pressure of water and the water will vaporize or boil, so to say. What? He's boiling things down there in the ocean? The water is moving so fast, it basically boils at ambient temperatures. So why do we gotta name

him after Pink Floyd? Now, you know, I will say, we're talking about it because he named it after Pink Floyd. We're being amazed by science because some scientists decided to name it after Pink Floyd. And what can we say? I mean, talk about the clickbait culture. I mean, what do we do for a living?

Bait and click, baby. You know. But I'm not saying. You can't bait and switch. But you can't bait and switch. Bait and click and satisfy. Well you gotta. That's our thing.

Bait for the click and then deliver. Satisfy. And then deliver. Bait and click and deliver. It's like an OBGYN. Hmm, I don't even wanna know how that makes sense. Well we can explore it. Let's end with one here from Darwin Hannon

who says, holy cow, I didn't even realize Ear Biscuits was back. Wow. That's not a question, that's a comment. But I do think it's apropos. That's disturbing. Because I think, you know, this is telling, Darwin. Nothing against you, you didn't know.

You don't watch every video, that's cool. It's not your fault, man. Most people don't. But I think what this represents is a situation, a situation that if you are currently listening or watching this podcast, you have the opportunity to help with and that is, not everybody knows about this. You know, we put it over here on the This is Mythical

channel and of course we put it wherever podcasts are available but between season two of your biscuits and season three of your biscuits, there was a long break. It's like the gap between the claw pieces was really wide and now we're just trying to bring it down. Trying to move it at 20 meters per second to create some negative pressure so we can snap you back into this podcast routine.

Yes, do it. Snap your people back. But what you can do is you can tell people, listen, and maybe you've got friends who are like, I don't watch those idiots that dress up in women's clothes and shake their boobs all around. I'm not into that. Who do you think I am?

My kids can't watch that. We get it, but there's more. But we do other things. There's more to us than that. Every week we sit down at this table and we have, what we think is a conversation. They just had it. We think it is a conversation.

Do you think it's a conversation? Well let them describe it any way they want. Do you think it's a conversation worth listening to? Well then tell them. Tell other people about it. Tell the Darwin in your life. It means the world to us and other ways that you can help continue to support Ear Biscuits and make sure

that Ear Biscuit stays here for a good while is leaving reviews on iTunes, commenting, liking here on YouTube. What other things can they do? There's other things that you can do in other places wherever you enjoy podcasts. Sit while peeing, make me a reservation to ride a horse in an exotic location.

Okay. Or record those shrimp, which is difficult to do because of. Acoustics underwater. Yeah, it's difficult. And I think you just asked a lot of the people, I was just asking for likes and comments and sharing and telling, reposting this.

Oh, this isn't time for my wish list? Yeah, tweet about it, hashtag Ear Biscuits, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah, hashtag Ear Biscuits. The easy stuff on social media. Let us know what you think, guys. Thank you for being your mythical best. We'll speak at you next week, it's every Monday morning.