Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Ep. 31 Swoozie - Ear Biscuits

Episode Date: May 2, 2014

Vlogger/Animator, Swoozie, arguably one of the best storytellers on YouTube, joins Rhett & Link this week to discuss a dark suicidal moment in his life that made him rethink his path forward, an exclusive story about a hot mystery girl car chase, and the philosophy behind licking girls' knee pits. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. It's time for another conversation with someone interesting from the internet. And this week that person is Adande Thorne, known on the interwebs as Swoozie. Swoozie's got over 2 million subscribers and over 200 million views, all courtesy of entertaining his audience with captivating vlog-like storytelling that most often is accompanied with some sort of flash animation visual.

And Swoosie, he lives in Florida, and we had never really met him before. And we tried to connect with him before, tried to get him to be a Supernote captain. That didn't really work out. We tried to get him to be a Supernote captain. That didn't really work out. We tried to get him to make a cameo in our Nerd vs. Geek video because we shot that in Miami. None of that worked out for one reason or another, but we tracked him down and then trapped him in a hotel room at Playlist Live and said,

you've got to do an ear biscuit with us. We're going to trap you in a biscuit. And, I mean, I think you'll just kind of pick up on the energy and the conversation because we were legitimately excited to talk to Swoozie because we've been fascinated with his content. I mean, the fusion of vlogging plus animation plus comedic storytelling, but also he infuses kind of a moral or at least a positive message in so many of the videos. And when you put that with the subject matters that he covers, I would say in a lot of ways, we very much studied that and kind of questioned,

is there something that we can do that's informed by Swoosie? I think that comes up in conversation. We told him that. Yeah, and it's almost like he has created this instructional guide for guys in relationships. So many of his videos focus on these relational concepts like being in the friend zone or how to speak female. Here's a recent example of one of his most popular videos called Textually Active. You know what's annoying? People who take hours to text back, especially when they're the ones that hit you up first like hey what's up

and then you text back like nothing, chillin at Chipotle, what you up to and they never text you back. The next person that starts to text conversation with me and just leaves me hanging mid conversation is gonna get a Liu Kang bicycle kick 2d face. If you get busy just say in class BRB, at work BRB because you leave me hanging, don't be looking all confused when I show up in my Mortal Kombat cosplay. Because we about to fight for real, because I'm a thug. So Swoozie pulls from his own personal experiences and makes them into his entertaining vlogs. I mean, but I found myself thinking this even when we were talking to him. Oh, that story can't be true.

It's just too, that's crazy or sensational or whatever. But when you hear the stories, one, it's so entertaining you don't care. But I think the thing that I discovered is that they are true. This is just, I mean, you be the judge of it on this ear biscuit because he shares some of those stories. But I think he's just the type of guy that has experiences that are storytellable, and then he has the skill to do it. I mean, here's another example, a video called My Girlfriend's Boyfriend. But yeah, me and my girlfriend were doing this long-distance thing for about a year,

and then one day she calls me up and she's like, We hired this new guy at my restaurant named Tim. I'm like, huh? He's such an idiot. He thinks he's so cool because he has a police record. A week later, we're on the phone, we're talking again, and I'm like, huh? He's such an idiot. He thinks he's so cool because he has a police record. A week later, we're on the phone and we're talking again and she's like, Tim found out I was a virgin and he's been like saying all this really

sexual nasty stuff to me. And he was like saying how he'd have me trembling when he was done with me. And I'm like, oh yeah? Put him on the phone. Okay, so we really enjoyed our conversation with Swoozie and for a guy who makes a living talking, I was excited that he conveyed to us that he ended up talking about some things that he has never spoken about before.

That's what an ear biscuit will get you. Okay, just a couple of things to whet your appetite. He talks about his philosophy of the three Gs, God, gaming, and girls. He also shares a specific crazy story about a hot mystery girl and a car chase. Yeah, and a dark suicidal moment in his life that made him rethink his path forward. And also, waiting until marriage to have sex, but licking knee pits in the meantime. Here it is, our Swoozie Ear Biscuit. One of your recent videos was about your

ex-girlfriend. The big ex or the little ex? The big ex. The crazy ex. So it's called My Crazy Ex, right? Oh yes, that one So the story is She's trying to reconnect with you And over text

You guys are setting up a date, basically That she never confirmed to be at And then When you don't show up I'm the bad guy And then you're telling your audience You're sharing this whole thing with your audience so the thing rhett and i said was how much of this is true oh 100 i even toned those

down i watered down the majority of those crazy stories to make them believable and that one is just like it's so crazy the stuff crazy follows me first of all but with that particular story it's just like i literally was looking at my phone like how do i find these people to like just okay hey you want to hang out today i'm like yeah do you want to hang out at four and then i never hear anything back and then at four or five they hit me up like going crazy because i'm not where that i can't get mad at you for not showing up because you never confirmed the same way you can't get mad at me for not showing up so yeah she sent me an email uh a little bit later saying uh you know what i at me for not showing up. So, yeah, she sent me an email a little bit later saying, you know what, I forgive you for not showing up.

And I'm like, are you kidding me? But my question is, did she then send another email once she saw the video? No. Okay, she said she stopped watching my videos. Okay. But what I also find funny is she also said, I gave you permission to start talking about me in your videos. So I think she went to my channel at one point

and started talking about all these other girls and was like i've been through so much with him and he never talks about me so she hit me up saying i could talk about her but she says now she refuses to watch my videos okay because that was the thing i was which is good for you it works out yeah i mean you've got you're able to kind of you've got all this material from the stuff that happens in your life when people see the videos that are being talked about yeah right so that gets a little awkward there's one where i talk about the friend zone and as guys you know sometimes we know other times we don't know and there's sometimes we don't want to know but there was this girl who kept inviting me to her house like to

spend the night and it was a co-worker i'm just like okay well is she expecting me to make a move so i talked about in a video i'm like yo i go to this girl's house at like 12 o'clock. I get there. It's almost a booty call if you think about it. And then I would never make a move. Like she has a small little bed the size of a couch and we're both pressed up against each other and I never make a move.

So I make the video. Yeah. So this happened. This is real life right now. She closed the door, locked it, and there's like, she has these big old drapes over the window so no light is entering the room.

Pitch black. And we're literally pressed up against each other, and her bed is against the wall. So I'm against the wall and her. That's it. And this happened three weekends in a row. She sandwiched you against the wall. Yes. And you're just-

Sounds like she made the move. But you're just sleeping. That's it. I mean, I don't, like, do I make a move? Because I don't want to make a move and say, oh, lights are on, this is us. Shutting down production, you know? I didn't want it to be like that because we've always been cool friends. Never any kind of indication.

There was no like holding hands or kissing. No cuddling. No nothing. And she says, you want to spend the night. Yes. And so you literally just sleep in her bed with her. And it's a 55-minute drive. And she knows it's one way.

OK? This is crazy. So I finally made a video on the fourth week like, yo, guys. Oh, you did it four times? Three times. And on the fourth week, I made a video like, guys, I don't know what's going on. Should I make a move?

Should I not make a move? I got a text the next day from her. Never said her name, but she knew it was her. Yeah. She's like, um. Is there another girl that you're just sleeping on a very small couch with three weekends in a row? The text basically said simply, um, you know I'm subscribed to your channel, another girl that you're just sleeping on a very small couch with three weekends in a row the text

basically said simply um you know i'm subscribed to your channel dot dot dot and i was like oh snap i completely forgot about this so yeah that's not really the text that you wanted you kind of wanted clarification i didn't even know but once she said that and then she called me up and like once i responded back she called and said i totally apologize no it's good you never made a move cause I didn't have those kinds of feelings for you. Those weren't my intentions. I just was feeling lonely. I bought a new house. I was all alone and wanted somebody that I could trust over.

So it was kind of like a relief off my chest. Well, right. Cause well in that scenario, you know, the fact that you made a video where you were legitimately lost as to what you should do, she sees it, and then it furthers the conversation, right?

So mission accomplished. Correct. You've got to have some examples of... Success? Well, hold on. Before we move to another story, I'm not done with this story. Okay, all right. Because, okay, I now understand what you said was

I have to tone down my stories because you wouldn't believe the full truth. Correct. Because I have a hard time my stories because you wouldn't believe the full truth. Correct. Because... It gets really crazy. I have a hard time believing the story you just told because I can't imagine that happening in like a human universe. I say no to a lot of opportunities that they make movies about.

But why did she... It seems crazy to me that some girl would say, will you come and sleep in my bed with me just because... But I won't... I'm not going to tell you why. Yes. But I don't expect anything to happen and not say anything no explanation no can you come over i'm lonely like anybody that gets that phone call or text what

are you thinking you know yeah yeah so girls can be confusing but uh the more females i hang out with the more i start to understand how to speak female and what are you learning about that i'm learning that if you're talking with a girl and she ever brings up any kind of sex references or anything like that, there's normally a chance that she's thinking about you more than just friends. If there's never any sexual talk

or if she's talking about sexual stuff about other guys, friend-zoned. And what I like to do, as soon as I sense that I'm about to be in a friend zone, I friend-zone them before they can friend-zone me. It works. Preemptive. Yes, and sometimes they sense it and then they want to take you out of the friend zone, I friend zone them before they can friend zone me. It works. Preemptive. Yes, and sometimes they sense it,

and then they want to take you out of the friend zone. It happens, man. We're funny creatures. Human beings want what we can't have. The way that you talk, it's kind of like you're a psychologist, sociologist on YouTube. You know, I think my first impression was,

okay, this guy's an animator. I know there's a video game thing going on. But then when I really dig into your channel, it's very much about using your life. I mean, you characterize your channel to us instead of me trying to figure it out. Do it. Okay, well, it's just like we have a voice on YouTube. And a lot of us that have over a few hundred thousand subscribers we have a responsibility so i look at it as i want to be the big brother

to a lot of little kids i want to be the guy because we all represent something this person represents white people this person represents jewish people i represent black males so i want to give guys a good name i want to give black guys a good name i want to give animators a good name people that live in flor, we all represent different things. So when I approach my channel, it's yes, on the surface, there's animation. There's he talks about girls. He talks about dates and relationships. But the more you dig deep, I want it to be like if I put enough content and richness in here, there has replay value all up in it.

So you go down deep enough. And yes, it's stories about my life. But there's messages in 90% plus of my videos. The next one coming up has no message. It's just me talking about my first hickey. No messages whatsoever. A girl, I don't even know her name, brought her back to my house and got a hickey. And I figure I've got to keep you guys guessing.

There's always a message. This time, there's no message. Right. It's just a funny story. Yes, correct. Now, you've got a lot of stories from your past, like the whole working at Disney type thing that you're gleaning and putting into your channel. Is there a pressure to kind of create stories

in your life at this point? As in like fabricate? No, not fabricate, but let's... As I'm living, I need to act like this so I can have a YouTube video? Because we do Good Mythical Morning every weekday and a lot of those are driven by our personal stories, things that happen to us,

that there is this incentive on the weekend to, well, I should do something because that's going to lead to a story and I've got to have something. And our lives are, I would say, relatively boring when you take into account the fact that we're... Working all the time. We're married with kids, and so it's not like we're at some...

in some situation on the weekends. Partying up in the club with Jay-Z. Right, so... And in fact, I even remember just recently when we went 4x4ing in the mountains. I specifically remember when Nick asked you to drive and I was like, I don't know if this is a good idea in real life, but you know what?

Link driving could lead to a really good Good Mythical Morning, so this is a good idea. I specifically remember, I was like, now my life is being impacted by, maybe we should- Like your life choices. We should make a more risky choice because it would lead to a better story i'm gonna hop in the bed with this girl and do nothing but

face the wall because that is the best story you know i so certainly not uh i'm not harping on you fabricating stories but in real life about it in your head as it's happening in life that actually happened a few weeks ago i i was gonna keep this so under wraps i'll give you guys an exclusive a very short um i went to get my car serviced and as i was getting service i still had stuff to do and the guy really liked my videos so he's like dude i trust you i'll let you take this nameless really expensive car out and do what you need to do i'm on turnpike i'm Hold on. What do you mean nameless car? You're not going to name the car?

I can't. I don't want to seem like, oh, he's just bragging. Well, it's not your car. Right. It's a nice car. Also, Mystique. Mystique is a nice little plot device. So people are like, what's that car? Picture in that car. Lamborghini. It could be.

Tesla. Could be. R8. there's a bunch of nice cars out there just tell us the freaking car i gotta have you wondering that okay story's over so i'm driving on turnpike and this real i'm talking distractingly hot girl pulls up next to me and then zooms off and i'm just like i could keep driving at the speed limit or i could chase her and a good story blog could come out of this. That's what crossed your mind. And I did it.

I chased her. Yeah, you did. And some craziness went down afterwards. Then I'm going to make a video blog about it. So yes, things like that do happen. Art imitating life, impacting art. Well, but it's this interesting thing, because there's so many different elements to this this because you've got that, like,

okay, how are my actions being changed by how it's going to impact my material? But then you've got to go back to what we were talking about a second ago, which is the example of the girl on the three weekends and, you know, the friend zone thing. It worked itself out because she saw the video. Now the people who are in friendships or relationships with you, they know that you're going to talk about it. It also changes the way that they interact with

you. Now, have you seen that happen? Yes. It's funny because I'll go on dates sometimes. Kind of like a new form of gold digger? Yeah. The thing is, when we put stuff out there, I get really personal with my stories. Sometimes I forget all the stuff that I put out there. I'll go on dates and girls will just list off everything that I love.

And I'm just like, this is not good. Because one, I forgot that I put all this stuff out there. And two, it's like they know. If they act crazy enough, I'll talk about them in a video. So I'll hear that sometimes. Are you going to talk about me in your next video blog? I'm just like, is that why we're on this date? Right.

Yeah, it's crazy. And it's funny how, I mean, we've talked to people who vlog a lot, but this is an interesting dynamic with you that I think that a lot of people just kind of talk about themselves personally, maybe do some challenges, but because you have the advice angle and it involves your interactions and observations with other people. And I think it might be you've got more life experience than a lot of vloggers

because there's sort of this like 18 to 22 year old vlogger thing that's like a really popular thing. And the substance, I think the substance is really there. And literally, I think about, we have 16 seconds. Within the first 16 seconds, you have to say something that's going to grab them. And when I go in here, it's just like, I think we have, again, back to the responsibility about these things. There's so many negative or just not so great influences out there in the music, in TV, in movies, and all this stuff.

All these ideas popping into our head. And I'm just like, you know, if I'm going to take my time to get out here and have a a voice i want it to be somewhat positive to where think about consequences so when these three girls walk into your hallway and late at night and you walk out of your hotel room they're like hey let's have a foursome you start thinking you know consequences so i mean that's a lot of things i try to put into my videos sometimes subliminally subliminally yeah sometimes uh overtones sometimestones. So it's a strategy even with that because, I mean, I think if I can provide a voice, I want it to be somewhat positive to where, listen, all right, you're going to think about consequences. So when I get those emails, like, dude, I was left at my job, and I was going to steal $100 out of the register.

And then I remember that story where they accuse you of doing this and this and this and this. And I was like, see, those are the kind of stories that i love hearing because then i know it's affecting people because my friends in real life i give them advice all the time they come asking for it and they totally ignore it so i feel like i just wasted an hour of that phone call just this ask hole basically coming for advice and then ignoring it but when i jump on youtube i know somebody's going to benefit from that but it's interesting to me that you want to make a positive impact and it seems like you're a great guy as much as I'm getting to know you and certainly I've gotten to know you through the videos

that you want to do that. So maybe a side effect of that is that that actually works on YouTube. One of the things that I think Rhett and I had extensive conversations about watching your vlogs that's impacted our content, Good Mythical Morning, is you're very funny, but it's almost like the sincerity quotient is a little higher. Like the advice you give, it needs to actually be useful, and then you're going to deliver it in a funny way. I feel like you could, and that's what works on YouTube. That's a very good observation, guys.

As opposed to, you could certainly, I get the impression, go the whole comedic route. I mean, you could go into stand-up comedy. You could say, I could tell the funniest story ever, and it'd just be funny. And you do do some of that. But we find it fascinating that when you get the sincerity right, that there's actually, you believe in what you're saying,

and you're delivering something that's useful, and happen to make it entertaining, it just makes it more palatable. People have that desire for that thing that, I really want to know about the friend zone. I really want to know about how to text. And Swozy's funny in the way that he talks about it. It's not just, hey, you got to watch this guy's funny videos

because he's funny. Well, first, thank you guys for making that observation because literally, like, I try so hard to keep it invisible but at the same time in the foreground. And I wonder so many, like, hours I'm spending crafting this whole thing, like, are they getting it? Like, will people see what's really going on like on layer four so to hear you say that like that makes it's like such a reward to hear you say what you just said but uh yeah man it's like really I care at

the end of the day like the people that I've never met that subscribe like I care so I care if you get the girl like there's so many times that I've been in a situation where I'm just crashing and burning with a female. And I learned so much because I was a lifeguard and I'm an animator. That's like a crazy combination, a very powerful observation training. And that's like most of my life I've been doing those two things. So it's like I observe even how I do things. And we're clingers sometimes. Guys are clingers and we don't realize like that's

pushing the girl away so I want you to get the girl I want the girl to get the guy I want you to be as successful in life in general so when I'm telling you these things it's like I literally am trying to affect your life it's not just ha ha ha that's great because I've had a YouTube video turn my life around life turn my day around when I was like really crappy mood, watch a video, laugh, that feeling in my chest. I want to give that to the viewer. But it also works better on YouTube that it is useful and not just funny. Correct. So we observe that.

And then when you say, I want the guy to get the girl kind of thing, I also get the impression that you're saying, I want the guy to get laid. I don't think that's what you're saying. You're kind of giving relationship advice. You want them to have a successful relationship. Long term. You're talking about consequences. You're talking about Dr. Phil type stuff here.

Let's pretend the three of us just run down this hall, and for whatever reason, we have to call 911. and for whatever reason we have to call 911. Now our actions between the time that that call is made up until the time the cops get here will decide whether they're coming to save us or to take us away. Plain and simple. Just off of the actions that we've just done in those five to 10 minutes.

So it's like I want people to kind of get into that mindset because we don't act unless we think about it, unless it's reflexive. Like if I hit you on the knee and your leg kicks out, that's reflexive. You have no control over on the knee and your leg kicks out, that's reflexive. You have no control over that. But pretty much everything else that we do, we have control over. And there's a thousand decisions that we make from the time we roll out of bed and both those feet hit that ground.

There's thousands of decisions that we have to make from that time to when we get back in the bed. Okay. Well, we want to get, you know, I want to find out what made you into the guy that you are today that has this perspective. And I know you've lived a lot of life. And you also laid out a lot of what you've experienced in your Draw My Life video. So people can kind of get more details there too. But tell us about growing up. I was in Trinidad.

We got robbed. And it wasn't so bad getting robbed because, you know, Trinidad and parts, we have bad parts like everywhere else, but it was just, you know, people jumping our fence and picking our mangoes off the tree. But then when I'm waking up in the middle of the night and seeing random strangers going through my drawers, that's when we had to leave the Island. Uh, and I've been in Orlando ever since. So you like rolled over, give me the details. I don't know how I woke up, but I remember opening my eyes and i saw two guys that i knew i didn't know going through my stuff and it's just

like okay bro you're just gonna find underwear in there so i'm not too concerned but please don't stab me in my sleep like i literally that's like the first memory i can remember going back my entire life was opening my pretty traumatic yeah and my thing was as a kid i remember thinking if i scream he might kill me if if I scream, he might kill me. If I go to sleep, he might kill me. But I'm going to go with option two kind of thing. I don't know how much that's affected me. You played Possum.

Yeah, pretty much. I think that made me a little paranoid because now, honestly, when I buy a TV, I chop up that box in the little pieces because I don't want it to sit by the end of my road because all my neighbors now know that I have a 42 inch Samsung in my house so that might be a long-term effect but um I think what's really gotten me into the person that I am today was I just I literally I think a lot like when I'm in the shower when I'm on long road trips I think I think just it's something's always going on up there and girls like to hurt me people like take advantage of me and it's just like i really wish there was some way to stop this like can i at least like pull it back to where it doesn't hurt as bad like can i be colder like what can i do so um i remember this is a point in life like i just want to like end it all and there was some girl my first girl

love at first sight told i made a video about this, Suicidal Thoughts. And I remember getting so heartbroken. When was this? I was 18. Okay. So head over heels in love with this girl. And she was like, you know what? I'm tired of you.

By the way, I've been dating Hector for the last month. Hector. Devastated. And his name was Hector. His name was Hector. Dang. And the last thing I remember was going home and grabbing my dad's gun Really?

Yeah, and I just rage blacked out And I woke up the next morning like I think I was staring down the barrel of that gun But you weren't going to shoot Hector No, no, no, I don't know why I should have been thinking about him I mean, you blacked out But you were going to shoot yourself?

Probably, those were the thoughts in my head. Like, you know what? What's the point of going on? I hurt so much right now. What's the point of going on? And I remember thinking like, you know what? There's so much more to be happy about. Like there's people that would kill to be in my situation right now that don't have

food, that don't have shelves, that don't have a lot of things. So I think that was like a turning point in my life to where it's like thinking like in my own head. You know what? No, I would have shot myself over some girl. And there's millions of those out there. So literally, it was just like, you know, I can be a better person. I think that was like one of the turning points in my life. And thank God it happened at that point as opposed to later on, turning points in my life and thank god it happened at that point as opposed to later on because i have heard stories of friends who are cops who have seen suicides or walked onto the scene of

suicides over some girl so right i think that's probably like the pinnacle moment in my life where it's like i can be a better person and i want to actually every day get on that journey of being a better person and was it a was it about being becoming better at relationships i know that from general everything better at same thing like better black person a better lifeguard a better person at work like no matter what job i have i want to be the best not in competition with you or you or any co-worker but i want to be the best at myself so i can't like i pretend i have a twin sometimes even when i'm working on videos. All right, I know he's going to work on a video about Disney.

I'm going to work on a video about Disney. I'm going to pretend I've seen his script. So I'll look at a finished script and be like, okay, I have to outdo this now. So I'm in competition with myself on pretty much everything I do just to be the best version to go back to girls. A lot of my female friends' boyfriends do not like me because when I take that

girl out, I'm happy that you're spending time with me. I have flaky friends. A lot of us have flaky friends who just ditch on us, who bail on us, and they're unreliable. You're giving me your time. I'm going to make sure we go out to Chili's and you don't spend a dime. When we go out, I make sure you have the best possible time. I spend a lot of time taking notes on this stuff. And then you had a lot of trouble. I mean, from your drama life video, I spent a lot of time taking notes on this stuff and then... And you had a lot of trouble, I mean, from your drama live video, you had a lot of trouble

fitting in as a kid. It seemed like you moved to different schools and you were always the outcast. I think a lot of YouTubers have that too. Yeah, we're like socially

a little bit awkward and I think that's how we fit so well on YouTube because there's a lot of socially awkward kids who really don't have a voice so when they come across our channel, like like this guy is awkward just like me. So I think that's also part of it too.

But the girl who dumped you when you were 18, that may have been a particularly low point. But I get the impression that there were lots of low points relationally for you that you weren't some player who was like, oh, I got this figured out. I'm just going to tell you about it. You're kind of having gone through the fire, so to speak. Seem to be speaking from that. Because I wish sometimes, like literally sometimes when I'm thinking about what video or topic

to talk about next or what to put in a video, I think I wish I had somebody around me that had knowledge, like a big brother, to say X. So when I'm going through it, boom, he just said this. So if I'm bumping my head, like, bro, my big brother just told me not to do this. And I have cousins who they don't have the same morals that I do. They don't say no a lot. And they've gone through hundreds of female interactions. And some of the stuff that these guys say

blow my mind, but they're absolutely right. And I take that and kind of mesh it into, I apply it to see if it works. And nine times out of 10, it does. And then I kind of share it with some of the YouTube audience because those guys are players. Those guys, hands down, like, they all walk into a club.

Who are players? My cousins. Okay. And I mean, we all have the same kind of facial features so we all look like different versions of the same guy and um they'll walk into a club and they'll find the hottest girl another little tip here for you guys exclusive they'll find the hottest girl in the club like i want to take her home but they'll stand back the whole night and watch every guy in the club make a pass at her and then they'll intentionally go by

brush up against the girl i'm like oh sorry he she makes that reaction he's like babe relax you're five at best and they say at that point they either get punched or slapped or cursed out but by the end of the night they get the girl's number and it's totally a move and these are the kind of guys that i'm talking to and it's just like they know their stuff man it's like any girl you're five at best and that girl's like oh i spent an hour on this eyeliner and concealer that i don't know so they think in their head so other guys are coming with the same approach like oh my god you're so hot let me buy you a drink there's other guys you're five at best relax wow have you tried and so you've you've tried this uh a variation tough love is kind of how i do it

like yeah i put it in one of the texting videos uh how to text a girl i believe and when you meet that girl you can't blow her up because like inside we want to be like oh my god thank you so much for spending the time taking me out and we want to do that when we get home but don't do that because every guy does that. So kind of like I take what my cousin said and basically he's like, every guy treats a girl like this in the club, you be that one guy that doesn't treat her like that. So I'll take that and kind of translate it into every guy texts like this, you be that one guy that stands out and doesn't text like that.

If we were to go back to your drama life, which was great. It was very insightful. It's like a cheat sheet for ear biscuits. I loved it. It crashed twice. I had to start from the beginning. Oh, really? But go on.

One of the things I wanted to ask you about was, at one point you go into an analogy. I think when you're talking about... Airplanes. Yeah, going from public school to private school to public school, and you give them... There was a girl that you met that said something that made you think about something. The airplane analogy.

The airplane analogy. Yes. And for those of you who haven't seen The Draw My Life, basically, she was saying, we're talking, we had a conversation about God. And I love those kind of deep conversations where you don't end up talking like this, you know, when you're arguing. And she was like, there's no reason that an airplane should fly but you make this rule and you make this rule and you make this rule and then the impossible

happens like you curve the wing here and you curve this metal here because it's like two tons of like weight flying through the air at 500 miles an hour and she was like same way with life like if there's no reason a plane should be able to fly but in life there's no reason you should be able to do xyz but if you do this and this and this and this you can do the impossible and i was like holy crap like the gif of the guy going and his brain's being blown so yeah that that stuck with me for a long time and so what was your application of that just in life it's like okay so for example when people come at you like really mad normally we want to respond really mad back so sometimes it's like you can't always do what your

impulse is to do so that's kind of one of the things let me off the top of my head you guys put me on the spot with this one i wasn't expecting that um but yeah in life it's like not always doing what you want to do like when a girl breaks your heart and is talking trash about you behind your back like you want to get back at her and do this but you know what i'm gonna be the adult here and act like that because people get really bitter i don't know if you guys have ever been through really bad breakups but i know how you handle them but it's always best to be the adult no matter what goes down and i think that's part of the thing is like really thinking your thoughts through the conclusions because we I love this girl.

I'm going to move in with her. And then we're going to do this. And we're going to do that. And then you realize like, yo, this girl is psychotic. But you ignored all the signs. So thinking your thoughts through before you actually act on them. So yeah, I felt, I'm sorry. I felt like in trying to like decipher the plain analogy, I know that you were kind of talking about being in a private school.

I guess it was a Christian school. You were talking about the Bible and talking about beliefs. I thought you were making a connection to kind of making a religious realization. There's different kind of ways you can go about it. Look at it like this, too. I give 10% of everything I get off of YouTube to my church, and my family hates that. They're just like, you're an idiot. You're giving all this money to your church i'm just like guys well i remember if you look at it they say okay well there's stuff

that they talk about in the bible if you want to see if it's true now there's a lot of stuff you can apply and test so like if i give 10 of my earnings they say it's like planting a seed and that plant will plant 10 more seeds and those 10 seeds will plant 10 so so basically at a certain point in your life i i guess you were you were at a at a school where you were taught christian faith like baptist okay and so but you were learning to test that for yourself to determine if it was true there was one question a lot of the questions that i had for the teachers they could never answer so that was one thing There was one question, and a lot of the questions that I had for the teachers, they could never answer. So that was one thing I was not a huge fan of.

And my grandfather is a pastor of a church. And let's just say I have, I'll run you guys really fast backwards. He cheated on my grandmother with his secretary who is younger than my mom. He's a pastor of the church. And I have an uncle who's three years younger than me. So you guys can rewind the podcast and put that all together.

And for the longest, he was the beacon of hope in my family. I'm just like... He represented Christian faith, and yet he's running around. He's doing all this. And a lot of the congregation really didn't know exactly the whole story. Hooking up with somebody, a secretary younger than his daughter. And you're married doing all this. Right.

So it's just like, really, bro? I'm not going to be like that guy. No way. And I think a lot of people that really have approached faith in a certain kind of mentality have had examples like that in their life. But let's pretend that when we do that, we have to answer to God or somebody. I don't want to be like, you know what? I didn't follow you because of that guy. And I didn't think that was a good enough excuse. So it's like, right, let me start testing some of this stuff.

So even going back to the giving the 10% and the planning and plan, I really didn't have money to be giving 10% when I was working as a lifeguard, but I'm going to do it anyway. And now just through YouTube, you know, following the whole plant the seed, seed, seed, seed, I'm making what I made a year every 20 days. Now, whether it be YouTube, whether it be whatever, sponsored videos, I make of a one sponsored video from YouTube, I get what I would have got as a lifeguard working for three years on one sponsored video that's three minutes long so it's just like again i test like if i tell you guys right now all right you guys rented a car it's outside and all the tires are slashed how would you test to see if what i'm saying is true you drive it exactly or you at

least go look at the window i probably just look at it exactly you're gonna go and test it it's not just hear it and be like that's wrong because the next question is how do you tell if what somebody's telling you is truth or false because like sometimes people are really convincing you know but we can't just go off of you know i think honda's are crap i'm not gonna drive them let me go give it a test drive that's kind of how i approach things not just that honda's crap i'm done kind of thing even though you know there's plenty of examples of how we can look at things like um i don't even want to go i'll stop there because you guys will get me on a rant and i won't be able to stop but go on go on you can rant no it's just i've always been the kind of person that

uh i want to test i want to see if what's going on is true because we have to answer for our actions we have to answer for the things we say and sometimes what we think so we think normally translates to how we act and you know things along those lines so i just want again want to make sure to be the best possible version of myself that i possibly can be and i can challenge at least people through my videos to do that or be that i found it interesting that the the test for your faith in the face of what happened with your grandfather was a financial test. One of many. One of many.

One of many? Okay. So, I mean, it's just like, because at the same time, too, if you look at the good book, there are guys who are, like, trying to do right, and they're having really crappy lives. And it's just like, I shouldn't have to test this to be like, all right, if I have a good life, I'm doing it right. If I have a bad life, I'm doing it wrong. There should be something in there to test this to be like, alright, if I have a good life, I'm doing it right. If I have a bad life, I'm doing it wrong.

There should be something in there to where it's almost like if my hand is like rotting, like gangrene and everything, but I'm telling Rhett and Link, like, guys, my arm is fine. You guys can look at my arm and be like, yo, your arm is not okay, bro, I can smell it. You know, so it's kind of like applying things like that

to my life to where, yes, bad things are gonna happen to me. My mom's gonna die, my dad's gonna die. No matter how good of a where, yes, bad things are going to happen to me. My mom's going to die. My dad's going to die. No matter how good of a person I am, bad things are going to happen. So not use that as my scale, but at the same time, if I do good things, good things will come back to me. In kind of like a weird karma, but, you know, circle of life, Lion King reference kind of thing. Well, it seems like you are very much, you value experience. Yes. Because when you say test, what you're really saying is like trying something.

You know, you implement something and you see if it works. And you do that in your life. And then when it works, but it also moves beyond things like, you know, morality, but it moves into the mechanics of dating. Right. moves into the the mechanics of dating right you know the mechanics of friendships and relationships and then you try something you learn something and then you turn it around and put it back into a video um i don't know there's a question there it's really just an observation it's something that's kind of coming together right now i just find it interesting that you you're so focused on the experience

and then you bring that to YouTube. I really honestly cannot think of someone else who's doing it in the same way. And I was actually looking at that too. Before I started out on the YouTube thing, my 3Gs, my 3G network, God, gaming, and girls. So if you look at all my videos, they all touch on at least one or all three of those topics. So I wanted to make sure I stayed on path to where if I do one day blow up and have a lot of money and people working for me, I still have that kind of 3G network to kind of keep me balanced.

Because at the same time, I don't want to be all over the place. But at the same time, too, like even with you guys, we get pressured to get a viral video. People want to see that all the time. So it's just kind of like I looked at it as give the people what they want to see, whether they know they want to see it or not. And a lot of times you, it's a lot of reading of the comments, a lot of listening to what people say,

how do they react to certain videos? And my dad told me when I had about 10,000 subscribers, he was just like, which kind of videos do people react to the most? And I told him my story ones. So he's like, okay, well keep doing that.

And his other thing that he was saying too was, get the female demographic. No matter what you do, get the females. Because when you walk into a girl's room and her room is covered from head to toe in one direction, and Justin Bieber, that's normal. But you're not going to find a lot of 13-year-old guys with their room covered from head to toe in any kind of thing.

They're very fanatical. So he's like, get those girls and talk about about stories and that's your perfect storm right there this is your your dad giving advice and the thing was he was the biggest hater out of everybody around me he was like it's not gonna work anything i wanted to do throughout my entire life he was the one i was like what do you want to do oh you want to be a screenwriter not gonna work you have to go to school for like 16 years to do that. Anything. And he'd constantly ask. And I was like, that whole idea, don't let somebody else tell you what you can and can't do. Because I started hearing his voice as my internal dialogue.

Like, I want to, but yeah, I can't. And it was like, no, I'm not going to let them put their limitations on me. I know what my limitations are. I'm going to try to exceed all of them. So now, I mean, I'm making more than both my parents combined from my bedroom. They have to wake up at 6 o'clock every morning, and they're probably going to hear this podcast. But yeah, and that's the situation where it's at right now.

I mean, and people through my life have been, like, hating. I mean, the friends and family, those are the ones that were not really the biggest supporters, but they've slowly started to come around now. So do you have a gaming channel, though? Yes, with Michelle Phan. I had 30,000 subscribers. they've slowly start to come around now so do you have a gaming channel though yes with michelle fawn um i had 30 000 subscribers i met michelle fawn through a mutual friend and she loves video games but she can never really talk about it on her beauty channel right so we met at a party one time uh in la and this is way back this is 2010 okay and she was like let's just start a channel

together and it blew up both of our channels like a lot of the guys that i mean even though i only had 30 000 subscribers like it was a trending thing on twitter on youtube for a good amount of days so she got a lot of traffic i got a lot of traffic and it became really hard to keep running press start really quickly um so we kind of just left it because at the time nobody was doing let's plays nobody was doing i mean nobody with over 10 000 subscribers yeah uh so we had to jump through so many hurdles to get like gameplay up on the screen you're talking licensing yeah like literally we had to have permission slips like it's not like it is now you just join a network and boom you're good

to go uh back then i had to like i had friends at capcom i had friends dead or alive i had friends in all the gaming circles so i'd be like hey can we have permission to play halo da da da yeah i just need you to sign off on this boom and youtube wanted us to submit videos weeks in advance before we could upload really yeah they had because you were trying to do it by the book and there were people who were starting to just do it yeah or at least later they started to do it you know low number count of views like this was before pewdiepie like pewdiepie and i started our channels at the same time and then uh the gaming stuff was just too hard to maintain in you know conjunction with our own personal channels with the way that you were doing it correct by the book i was not getting sleep it was so bad like and with the press start we had every friday was our day

and so now but so now you don't do it now yeah now it's just like look at it as a bonus level like you're playing legend of zelda and you have a bonus mission look at press start as that is kind of how we put it to where it was but with the success of it why aren't you saying i'm going back into this i mean oh i want to at times but at the same time i feel so driven to keep doing the Susie channel because I've had ideas for a very long time, but I didn't want to put them out there because I felt like there's not enough eyes here.

If I'm going to spend a week editing this and only 10,000 people see it, no, it's not worth it. But now like as an artist, the only thing you really want, well, the first big thing is an audience. And now I have that.

So it's like, I feel so driven to the point to where I don audience and now i have that so it's like i feel so driven to the point to where i don't get much sleep because i'm still thinking like okay i need to put something out for these guys so what if you got a guy like toby turner who is you know becomes so popular for his uh comedy videos and then all of a sudden he starts toby games and that moves up into the top 10 or whatever i, this trend even has guys like us. Thinking about. You know, I doubt we'll ever do it

because it would be so off brand, but I'm saying like it has that gaming. It's pulled. It has such a great pull because it seems like, oh man, it's just this easy view you can get, which leads to easy money, right? I know a guy making six figures a month on YouTube. I mean, I'm sure you guys, it's not crazy to you guys,

but the listeners like six figures playing video games.. I'm sure you guys, it's not crazy to you guys, but the listeners, like six figures playing video games? Yeah. Oh, yeah. From your bedroom? Well, listen, we're not going to tell you how to run your business, but it is curious that someone who is such a great fit, you only have so many hours in the day. I certainly don't want to see a decrease in the Swoozie channel with what

you got going on there. So unique. It's tough, man. A lot of my creative juices go into that. You guys should see like my little editing room i have like dry erase boards over here and another wall just for you know dialogue to put in videos so there's like a mad scientist room where this video next in that video in this video and then all these other like dialogues and one and phrases over here so i mean it's literally i feel like I was put on this earth to entertain. Like, I literally felt that for a very long time. So YouTube was never in the equation, but I kept putting energy into it because I looked at it as,

I can keep working on my craft because I want to do film. I want to do editing. And a lot of us in YouTube, we all want to do that big picture thing, and that's why we do YouTube. But, dude, it's the best job i've ever had in my entire life that i couldn't even it is pretty great now before we started recording when we were just kind of getting settled we were talking about the howard stern nature of well that's what you said you're right i was like well this is this is gonna i'm gonna say it's gonna be an hour of us just talking about you you were like okay get howard stern on you on you it's going to be an hour of us just talking about you. You were like, okay, get Howard Stern on you. He's like, okay.

And you're like, well, I'll talk about anything. I'm a book waiting to be opened. Correct. And then you said, except for two things. Uh-huh. And now I'm like, oh, gosh. We're coming to the end. Did I even get close to him?

What are the two things? That mystique, bro. I got to keep you guys in suspense. Oh, so he just said two things. I was in the bathroom at that point. Yeah, you were in the bathroom. It's funny. I remember my-

Give me half of one thing. Because I'm talking, oh, we got a little bit on religion. We got a lot on relationships. And then what's the other one? Politics? I don't, honestly, bro, I don't follow too much politics. Okay, so it's not that. I mean, we can play the guessing game.

Right. We can just get real. We can get real. The thing, too, is I remember one time, just to quickly touch on what you were talking about, sex ed class in fifth grade. The teacher walks in. He was like, there's one question that somebody's going to ask in here. I'm wondering who it's going to be.

Okay, so this is a penis, and here's what's going to happen. And I'm just like, holy crap, what's that one question? So we're in the class for like 30 minutes, and then I'm like, is he going to even tell us if we ask that question? And some kid was like, so I have a question, teacher. How do you make twins? And he answers the question, and he goes, by the way, that was the question. What?

And I was like, awesome. It sucks that it wasn't me, but I'm so happy now that I know it. And actually, that's not a great question, because I really don't know how to make twins. You do it twice. In close proximity. I've always wanted to be a twin. I don't know about you guys. So much so that you've created an imaginary twin that you compete against.

You saw that video. Okay, very good. I will say, in biology class, we had a substitute one day, and I just thought it would be better to ask the substitute because she wouldn't be back the next day. And she was subbing in biology,

so she should know a little something. I love that mindset, by the way. It's like, I don't have to ask this awkward question and then see this woman the rest of the year. What class was this? Miss Lee, biology. Vicki Lee's class? Miss Lee was out.

Woman comes in. You guys are in the same class? Oh yeah, we've known each other since we were... I know that. Since like little. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if you remember me asking the question, but I asked, do you, and you can read what you wanted to this question, but my question to her was do you have a set amount of sperm, or are you constantly producing sperm and i don't mean you

teacher who's a female i mean me like does a man have a set number of sperm and what's she saying uh you asked this in front of the whole class yeah and she said i can't believe i don't remember school right i don't yeah i don't think i don think she knew. You're afraid you're gonna run out. Yeah. I was afraid that I was gonna- I need to make some changes. I was afraid that I was gonna run out before I got, you know-

To that point, to go time. Yeah, yeah. Then we didn't really count it. And she was like, I think you're constantly producing it. But I was just so concerned that I had to ask. Have you guys ever had a distractingly hot teacher? Oh, yeah.

Yes. What did you get in that class? Kelly Smith, freshman English. That's freshman in high school or freshman in college? High school. Oh, you know the lady she's talking to? That was in the same class. Oh, like what did you guys get in that class, grade-wise? I got a boner in that class.

A? You got a Ber in that class. A? You got a B for boner? That's not that distracting. I mean, I had a teacher one time, I failed because every time, I was emailing her.

Dude, I wanted to impress, man, because that was my application. My application was- She loves English, I love English. I'm going to make her think I am the smartest kid in here.

Oh, man. So I opened up, I think, I'm not, you know, we kind in here. Oh, man. So I opened up. You know, we kind of changed the subject a little bit. I opened up a little bit. I asked an awkward question in biology class, which I just told you. You need me to open up? For all you know, I might not have two things. Oh, you might just invent that.

I might have just said it. Yeah, you just tore him in my brain? You never know please tell me it's layers bro layers let me ask it this way okay um your your charisma is infectious you're you know you're you are a gifted entertainer i can see this i'm buttering you out okay but all of this is true there's know, everyone in their life goes through the dark times, you know, or formed by that. I know that relationally there's those things. Is there something else there formative that...

As in, like, a negative kind of thing? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, that, okay. I never drank ever up until, two years ago okay and uh the battle for me a lot of times is i try to be a good person but at the same time i don't want to live my life like trying to ride this straight line to where i miss out on everything um and i remember the first time that i drank i have never been drunk that i'm not trying

to get to hugging a toilet and vomiting all night not trying to get there is this going along the lines of what you were just asking me sure i'm hooked yes yes um and we're gaming convention yeah i think it might have been pax or something like that. And then afterwards, there was this really cute guitar hero Asian girl. And she was just like, I'm going to buy you a shot. And I just said, yes. And I don't know why. Literally, the needle scratched on the club. And everybody turned around like, what?

Like five shots just showed up on my table. And I'm like, I'm going to take three of these. And then I'm done. And I took those shots. And I was sitting there sitting like why do people keep talking about drinking like this is disgusting one i feel like i just drank death and it's really not a big deal so then my boy was like all right are you ready to go and i go yes and the whole room said and then every girl in that bar looked like a supermodel. And I'm like, get me the heck out of here right now.

And I drink on special occasions. And then usually I stop at three shots. And the drink is normally Patron that I mess with. This is information I've never put out there, guys, by the way. But you turn the page and you want to know. And sometimes I wonder, like last night, there was a party here. And I didn't drink a drop. And I was really bored.

And I'm like, is this because I wasn't having a good time, or is this because I didn't have a drop of alcohol? So things like that, I really try to analyze now. But at the same time, too, in the Christian faith, you're not supposed to touch alcohol at all. Well, you said Baptist, right? Yes. I think specifically Baptist, there's this... Stigma with the home. You can't drink at all.

We went to a Baptist church at a young age and then kind of switched out of that. So that was something that we saw was a difference in the Baptist. So, I mean, you said that you had the three g's god being the first one so you seem to be a devout christian i don't want to end up like my grandfather i mean i'm sure it wasn't like one day he was awesome and the next day he's sleeping with multiple girls i'm sure it was this gradual kind of progression into that so i try to make sure to pay attention to a lot of my actions and things that i do because when i tell you guys the story it can get interpreted a bunch of different ways so i really try try to, you know, kind of bottleneck

it to where a good storyteller can control the audience. If he wants you to not like a character, boom. If he wants you to like a character, boom. So I even try to put that in a lot of the things I talk about. At the same time, I want you guys to get the real me. And with 2 million subscribers, you're going to have some people that you offend when you talk about alcohol or when you talk about all these different topics or I made out with a girl and I didn't even know her name.

You're going to like, you're a bad influence for my kids and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. But at the same time too, you can't keep coming at them, just knocking on their door. Hey, let's talk about this. You can't come at them the same way.

It's 2014. So essentially like, I'm really trying to get to your kids and give them a positive message, but not the same way they've 2014 so essentially like i'm really trying to get to your kids and give them a positive message but not the same way they've got it a hundred times before so right now i'm really thinking about just even my own actions even up until this day like me drinking okay well there's about 100 people at that party they probably saw me this and this and this that and that so right now i really try to make sure that my actions line up with my words so there's

never a gradual kind of um thing that goes into that and i will also say on this podcast is i think i have a really addictive personality so the things that i like i do a lot right and i know me so that's why i normally only stick to patron because i hate that stuff if i found an alcohol that i like i'd be in trouble let me tell you guys that right now so uh with video games, I think even with editing, I can spend 18 hours editing because I have an addictive personality. I get into this and do it. You kind of get lost in it.

Correct. When you're trying to juxtapose or have this, you've got God as a priority, you've got girls as a priority, and you want to be an influence, but yet when you're talking about these two worlds there seems to be it seems to be a clash of worlds there correct you're talking about well i want to be very devout uh but i want to get the girl so how do i get does is that where you end up sleeping with a girl and literally just sleeping with her is that i've never had sex i'm a virgin so that's

another thing too waiting for marriage and that often I think my friends tell me this is why the girls end up- Do your fans already know that? Yes. I think a lot of my friends tell me that girls end up cheating on me is because we're getting all romantical, da, da, da, da. I always work them up and then they run off with this other guy because they're all wound up and they need to get their fix because most of the girls I get with aren't virgins. So now they know what they're missing. up and they need to you know get their fix because most of the girls i get with aren't virgins so now

they know what they're missing and uh what i find very interesting is after they get with the next guy and we're done they come crawling back like okay because the thing is in foreplay they're so sucking toes like not to say that i do or don't because i keep i write that line in my videos i mention it a lot but i never say if i do or don't. You talk about sucking toes a lot? Yes. I throw it out there, and the comments go crazy. Do you or don't you suck toes? I throw it out there and say, like, knee pits.

I never said that. This is a really good podcast. Let me tell you, this is probably the best podcast slash interview I've had ever. That's a great endorsement. The knee pit, all right? Oh, yeah, you like the knee pit. Here's the knee, and the part behind the knee is the knee pit.

When you lick that, guys, there's some girls that will go crazy, but there's so many guys that are so anxious to just finish the fight, get to that, you know, that end point, you know, game time. Another pit. Right. They miss that whole, there's so many floors to foreplay that they miss so when the girl runs off with another guy and he's not concerned about your toes your knee pit your neck your ear he's not concerned about any of that other stuff what

about the armpit no i'd never mess with the arm yeah that'd stay away from my line somewhere uh yeah and then they experience that they get what they think they want then it's just like man adande really showed my body a lot of attention like i'll massage you for an hour like i go it's a two-part play like literally like i am one person on the stage and you're the next person on the stage and usually the bed is the stage you know and we're just kind of you know uh is it thespians that's the right word right yeah like an actor yeah we're thespians on this stage and i want to make sure to give the best performance every single time and if the actors are both women then it's lesbians

but yeah so i mean and i think a lot of guys don't put that attention into it so that's where they normally come crawling back like i'm so sorry i didn't mean to lie to you for those months and then cheat on months and then cheat on you and then lie some more can you please take me back i think there's a lot of that back of my knee and that basically what they're saying by the same time like again people will hear this and be like this swoozy guy he is so into himself by the same time like that's just what it is so i really think about the when you you've limited yourself to not going all the way, then you've got to occupy yourself. You go a lot of places.

I try to work out, too, because if I keep just the stage, I'm doing a bad thing. Like, when we're acting, I want to run out into the audience. So, I mean, I literally... The creativity doesn't stop just at YouTube. I'll just say that. No, one of the things, kind of reading between the lines here, is that you talk about multiple girls when it comes to your your videos and you're kind of talking about girls plural in general

so is there a is there a special someone no at the moment and why not uh i think i haven't found mrs right yet and the problem it's a good problem to have, is I have a lot of hot friends, a lot. And then YouTube is only making that good problem worse. Because again, now with talking about stages, YouTube becomes a stage and the world can see it. So I mean, I have girls from Norway, and USSR and Australia andia has some amazingly hot girls and i mean that with skype being a thing and kick being a thing and whatsapp literally well you know college in 1980 is not college in 2014 like i could be hollering at a girl in norway like any girl becomes like it's a buffet so um not to say that that's how I kind of look at it,

but girls approach you when you're on YouTube. And they send you pictures. They ask because they know what I'm about on YouTube. They ask like, hey, what kind of pictures can I send you? And especially now with Snapchat being what it is, they know that I try to run the straight arrow. So they ask like, can I send you some maybe MA or NC-17? I'm like, let's keep them PG-13.

Because you just never know. One of my biggest fears. Gosh, you guys are getting so much out of me right now. One of my biggest fears, but I'm going to let you know this. I'm putting it out there because I'm aware of it, is that there's going to be an underground YouTube channel who gets girls, casts them, and then goes after

YouTubers, and then exposes the entire process. We should produce this channel. You can have it, bro. It sounds kind of sleazy. Can you explain it? We'll produce it under our underground brand. What will they do? On the dark web. So we'll have a girl, and she'll be like a 10. And I'll be like, okay,

who's our topic here? We've got to knock out 10 YouTubers. We've got to knock them out fast because they're going to talk. So let's look at PewDiePie, Toby, Swoozie, and I don't know, Daystorm. And then she documents the whole process. Correct. But not just she. All of us are behind the phone, literally like a production.

So we'll start with a simple text or a simple Facebook because there are some guys out there who just literally don't answer emails unless you're hot. So we'll just send that hot one out there and be like, oh, we got a bite. We got a nibble.

Okay, so he sent this. And it's all documented. So it's like to catch a YouTuber. Yes. And who has a boyfriend. We could get Chris Hansen to host the whole channel. See what I'm saying? Swoozie will host.

We'll produce. But at the same time, you would get these guys really bad slash good. And I think about that. Or yourself. I think you're saying maybe you fear that

for yourself. I worry that's gonna happen to me. So when I get these emails from these tens, I'm like, oh, Rhett and Link could be behind that camera.

It's like, that's what I think sometimes. Even all my interactions, a lot of times, I use my cousin's advice when the hot girl's like, oh my gosh's what I think sometimes. All my interactions, a lot of times, I use my cousin's advice when the hot girl's like, oh my gosh, you're so great. I just say, thanks, send. Because any other guy, when they see that email, like, oh my god,

how did you find my videos? And just go crazy on them. I'm just like, you know what, thanks. I just sometimes ask. I try to interact with guys and girls. But look, you had something you wanted to say. No, I think, to me, it's full circle whether you're talking about consequences. I think for yourself, you know that you wanted to say to me it's full circle whether you're talking about consequences I think for yourself you know that you're in a position with the type of

content, relationship content that you put out there that there's women who are approaching you there's actually a couple of things that work here I think you sense that you've set a high standard for yourself that's almost a dare for girls to say

if i can get swoosie correct he's a virgin i want to be that one i've had girls spreading rumors that they've had sex with me and that never happened like that's a thing now it's like are you kidding this is like this is my life yeah so again a story for a movie where the girl is lying about the guy having sex and he won't this is my life and i think i think the second part full circle is you're putting into play you put it into practice what you're saying about consequences you're talking about red link maybe behind this this text from a 10 for some ma pictures you know it's what what are the consequences worst case scenario correct so i mean i've had when i worked with direct tv i've had those producers like those guys helped me and mentored me a lot and they told me like from

jump street 2007 like so you're gonna be big like we don't know what you have planned for the future but we can just see how you walk around the set and talk and you're on camera you're gonna be big so here's what you need to do they take me into the truck out back and like listen treat every text like it's gonna go viral treat every message and email like it's going to go viral xyz lmnop and it's like wow at first i ignored a lot of that stuff like if a girl wants to send me pictures i'm gonna take them you know that kind of thing but um when you really think about like these guys have been in the industry for a very long time so when i start thinking you know what this girl is like saying and talking really slick maybe i should text it back but i'm gonna treat this like it's going viral so let me now change

what i was going to say and say something else so you just never know man okay um so we got one of them which was licking behind the knees yeah yeah yeah that was the one thing what's the other one is that for the second podcast when you come back? I got to give you guys. Part two. Keep your audience wanting more. Okay. That's the secret. Well, this has been a good part one. Dude, this has been an amazing part one. That was it.

The Swoozie Ear Biscuit. You know, he's full of advice. You know, this is what he does on the internet. He's a philosophical guy. Yeah, he's got this, the way that he talks about things. Well, okay, let me tell you the way that I see it or the way I've always thought of it or here's an analogy to explain that

or here is a little 3G, little acronym that I've come up with for my life philosophy. I would say he's got like the motivational speaker gene. Yes. You know? Right. I could definitely see him doing that. You know, I mean, he talks about that whole fearing the development of a show called To Catch a YouTuber. I think he should be thinking more,

even formatting more. He's basically the Dear Abby of YouTube. He could do something even more in that format. I mean, he didn't ask me, but the producer in me is like, okay, let's get this whole ability to encapsulate things in terms of comedic but meaningful advice.

I think that can be formatted even further, Swoozie, if you're listening to your own Ear Biscuit. Hopefully he is listening to his own Ear Biscuit. But I think it's working pretty well for him, first of all. One interesting dynamic, as we discussed thoroughly, that might affect this whole Dear Abby plan is the fact that most of everything that he has a lesson about comes from a specific experience.

So there's this dynamic, and we experience this too. It's one of the reasons that on Good Mythical Morning, we don't always tell personal stories because you run out of them. That's why we started going to articles and lists and other things. Or like we said,

you adopt a lifestyle of creating experiences for the sake of the story. Right. I was told a few years ago by a friend of mine who, I think we were going on a trip to make videos, and he said, don't forget, it's always better to have a good story than a good time.

And he was right. If you're an entertainer, I guess. Well, and we talk about that all the time if we're going to do something, and we begin to contemplate making a stupid decision about something. Like, should we rent these scooters? Will we possibly die? It's like, well, heck, we'll be able to talk about it on Good Mythical Morning, so we might as well just do it.

I don't know what kind of impact that has on our lives. I know that it has a slippery slope of recklessness is what it sounds like. No, but I'm saying that with Swoozie, there's this thing that he is living a life that he has chosen to make public. The people who are close to him in his life, their lives are going to be made public in a entertaining way that apparently most of them are comfortable with. It's an interesting dynamic and he's doing that particular thing just about as well as anybody on the internet. And we had a good time talking to him. Thanks to Swoozie for sharing some things that he didn't intend on sharing, talking about things that, I love it, like we say all the time, when somebody says,

I didn't know I was going to talk about this, then we know that we're A, doing something right, about this, then we know that we're A, doing something right, and B, having a good time. Let Swoozie know what you think of his ear biscuit. It's Swoozie, but the I is the number one. S-W-O-O-Z-1-E. Let him know what you think of his ear biscuit. His icon right now is Aladdin. That's interesting. He doesn't now is Aladdin. That's interesting. He doesn't look like Aladdin. Maybe a little bit. Are you sure that's the right one?

Yes, definitely him. He's following us. YouTube partner, pajama model, former Disney employee, time traveler, music and film lover. That is him. He apparently has an identity crisis and thinks he's Aladdin. Maybe there's something we're missing. Maybe there's another video we need to watch. Or maybe you need

to watch it after being introduced to Swoozie. Also let us know what you think. Hashtag Ear Biscuits on Twitter. Be sure to leave a review on iTunes. We always appreciate that. And we'll have another one of these next week. You can count on us. Yes.

Can we count on you? Yes. I hope so. I believe we can.