Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Ep. 34 Lindsey Stirling - Ear Biscuits

Episode Date: May 23, 2014

Dancing Electronic Violinist sensation, Lindsey Stirling, sits down with Rhett & Link this week to talk about the recent release of her latest album "Shatter Me," why she has no regrets about being a part of the "I am a Mormon" campaign, her devastating battle with anorexia, and how a romantic relationship with a YouTube personality led to her blossoming online career. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we have the one and only Lindsay Sterling. She's one of this generation's most recognized classical crossover musicians. Lindsay's got almost 5 million subscribers And over 600 million views On her YouTube channel She also just released her new album

Shatter Me Which debuted at number 1 on iTunes overall Number 2 on Billboard's top 200 overall Number 1 on Billboard's independent albums Classical crossover albums And dance electronic albums This girl It's a lot of girl is bringing it.

I mean, I was super excited to talk to her. She performed at the U2 Space opening, you know, that event. We were there. I was super bummed that I didn't get to meet her that night. She was playing her violin and dancing, like, right over there. I was like, I could go talk to her right now, but it's in the middle of her performance. That would have been awkward. And it was like, what go talk to her right now but it's in the middle of her performance that would have been awkward and that would it was like what that's link busting

up lindsey's performance this is a much better setting you know she didn't you know she didn't even bring her instrument for this conversation which simplifies things it definitely simplifies things because i mean when this girl's playing the violin, she's not just playing the violin. She's moving. She's moving. She's dancing. I mean, you really have to watch one of her music videos if you don't know what she does to get a full appreciation. Or go to her live show.

Right. She's combining this classical music, the violin, with all these different genres of music, hip-hop, pop, rock, dubstep, and now she's moving into electronica, and she's got this completely original sound, but also a completely original presentation of that. Yeah, I mean, all of her videos look amazing, but it's because what she does is amazing.

Her original song, dubstep track, Crystallize, we'll play a clip of that. her original song dubstep track, Crystallize. We'll play a clip of that. It was the eighth most watched video on YouTube in 2012. It currently has over 94 million views. And the music video for the title track of her new album Shatter Me features Lizzy Hale on vocals. I'm frozen by the fear in me Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me So cut me from the line This is spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me So she's starting her tour. She was able to come by at the last second before she hits the road. We're very glad that she was able to spend some time with us so that we could get to know her. We cover a lot of good things in this conversation. some time with us so that we could get to know her. We cover a lot of good things in this conversation. I mean, dealing with the harsh rejection that Piers Morgan dealt to her on live television,

I was interested to talk about that, as well as the recent critical reviews in the New York Times. Yeah, and we also talk about how her YouTube career got off the ground. At the same time, how a certain other popular YouTuber was a part of that and also a part of her romantic life. We also talk about the personal ramifications of being included

in the I'm a Mormon marketing campaign and how her struggle with anorexia played a major role in the development of her new album. So, yay, we get to all these things. This is an ear biscuit. Yeah. What would you expect, people? Here it is, our ear biscuit with Lindsey Stirling.

Now, we can talk about the, it's not, the Owl City thing, is that secret? No, the track's out, so, it's been released. In the music video? Yeah. But, I mean. We can chat about it. Okay. What kind of details can we get?

What kind of BTS deets? Ooh. So, you came here straight from shooting the Owl City music video. What song is it? What's it called? It's called Beautiful Times. Yep. It's pretty awesome.

It's his new single for his EP, and it's really happy-go-lucky and fun-feeling, which is perfect for Lindsey Stirling music. I like it. Well, he usually keeps it dark, so that's like a switch in and out. I know, I know. We really went for something new. Yeah, it's very... Locke, didn't Lincoln too?

Locke, my son, really got into Owl City a couple years ago. And it was like that we... Owl City was always playing. And you always felt like you were like... You kind of walked in the room and you're like, okay, I'm ready to do something positive. It's like the soundtrack to Anti-Depression. Exactly.

It's like an antidepressant. I think so. That's what All City music is. And, you know, it was funny. They had me sitting. Like, I have never sat through a whole music video, but they had me. I was like, I'm kind of a dancing violinist. This is difficult. But they wanted me to sit was like, I'm kind of a dancing violinist. This is difficult.

And so, but they wanted me to sit. So I sat there the whole time and I was, you know, that music makes you want to skip in general. You were at least like kicking your legs out or something, right? Totally. I was tapping my toes and the feet started to go crazy and yeah. But you, you like turn to the director, you're like, you know what I do, right? I know.

And then it was funny at the end, at the very end, they were like, okay, now we want you to stand up. And they asked me like, can you walk and play at the same time? And I was just like, you know what I do. I like to dance and jump. Can you walk and play? Really? That's probably never been asked before of you. I was slightly offended.

I'm like, well, I can do a little bit more than that, too. I know this may be a crazy request, but can you walk and play? Yeah, it was like, that's how he said it. I thought that was kind of humorous. And so you shot that here in Burbank. Mm-hmm. So you didn't have to go to New Zealand or Africa or any other exotic ice field location.

No, for this one, we actually shot it. It looks like I'm sitting in clouds, so it's even better than going to shot it. It looks like I'm sitting in clouds, so it's even better than going to New Zealand. It's like I'm up in the- Heaven. Yeah, I'm kind of like in heaven. Okay. Have you thought about doing a,

just kind of hitting me now as you talk about having to sit during the video. This could be, we're always trying to come up with different ideas for us to do, like new- But you've got something on your face right there. You want to get it off for me? Your left eye. There it is.

Kind of distracting you? Yeah, I'm sure it's... Lindsay, did you see it? And you didn't want to say anything? You never want to say... It's like the booger in someone's nose. But what was it? Is it an eye booger?

No, it's not. I think it was a cheek booger. That's all I noticed. Maybe it was an eye booger that traveled. One of those cheek boogers. Wow. It think it was a cheek booger. That's all I know. Maybe it was an eye booger that traveled. One of those cheek boogers. Wow. It's a migrating eye booger. All right, well, I wish I could show you a visual right now.

Everyone's going to be jealous. Were you looking at it? Actually, I wasn't. Okay, that's good. Maybe she was blocked by that part of the microphone. The mic is kind of blocked. But what I was getting at was the fact that we envision ourselves as guys who might one day have like a workout system, like a workout DVD. Your own with you guys?

We've experimented with two guys, two weights. This is two guys each grasping a weight. It's kind of a long story. I don't think any of these things are going to pan out. But I can definitely see a whole workout series for people in the orchestra. You know what? I've thought about doing it. More of a parody idea

for my second channel. How fun that would be to do a violinist. I was a classically trained violinist in orchestras for years, and we get kind of a bad rap of being out of shape. I was like, I should do. A lot of sitting in aluminum chairs. Right.

And very serious expressions. It looks like we never had fun in our lives. Have you seen, surely there's been high school orchestras out there who have been inspired. And they're like, oh, this is a Lindsey Stirling joint right here. And all of a sudden, they're playing for their parents, and next thing you know, they're getting up and doing some choreographed dance. That's happening, right?

I sure hope so. I have not seen it in mass. Oh, come on. If that's happening somewhere out there, we need to see that. We want to see this. I want to see it. I've seen individuals do it, but holy cow,

if a whole orchestra did it, that would be sweet. It don't happen, thanks to you. But, Rhett, just to go back a second. You still looking at my eye booger? I don't want to go back that far. Just to go back to your eye booger. No, to go back to the thing after that. You were suggesting that Lindsay start a workout DVD.

That's just short of asking her, hey, Lindsay, have you ever thought about playing kids' birthday parties? No, no, no, no, no. What are you doing to that girl? Were you crazy? That's where the real money's at, man. Really? You ever heard of Billy Blanks?

Yeah, but... Richard Simmons? I just... Yeah, you're not doing any better. So now you're putting her on that level with Billy Blanks and Richard Simmons. It just hit me that the hip-hop thing, and then, you know, and Michelle Obama wants... She's doing the, what is it get up and move campaign or whatever with all the kids i mean you could be like the white house spokesperson i'm

sorry if we've offended you no offense we have not offended her i can just say it right now i appreciate your sensitivity to this this subject though that's very kind of you well i mean seriously do people want people i imagine people want to be able to describe what you do and encapsulate it, to boil it down to just a couple of adjectives or just throw a couple of things. Well, this is who Lindsay Sturley is. This is what she does. Right. And, you know, it's funny. Recently, you know, I just released my new album and there was this fight on iTunes of them wanting to put it in different categories.

And, you know, and we had to really fight to let it stay. I was like, I want to be on the electronic charts. Like, I feel like I'm an electronic artist. But the classical charts wanted it, and the pop charts were like, no, she belongs over here. And it's just funny. No one knows how to classify it. So you mean somebody at the charts was like asking you? Yes.

I didn't know this. There's editors of every page. And you only get one? You only get one category on iTunes? For your album to be in the charts, yes. On Billboard, you can have two, like classical and dance. But on iTunes, there's only one place where it gets to sit. And you chose electronic.

Yeah. I was like, I feel like I'm an electronic artist. I can hang with these guys. And then straight to number one. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And so it was really a question of you were going to get number one anyway.

You might as well. Yeah, let me pick my chart. Let me be where I want to be but then billboard gave you you went to the top of billboard both yes um in both the class that was easy for you and like you guys handle it i'll go to the top of all of them well i didn't know that was gonna happen it was nice it was a nice like you know you always keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best but it was a nice like oh, oh my gosh. I think I seriously stared at the iTunes page for about a solid hour after the record release, just refreshing the page and being like, it's still there.

Oh my gosh, it's still number one. And so, I mean, I was like a little kid in a candy store. I was so excited about it. Now, are you resistant to it being classified as either classical or pop alone? I know because it's not either one of those things alone. And then because you incorporate so much electronic music into your stuff, are you like, okay, well, if I classify it as electronica, then I've got, you know, it's like a happy medium.

Why not alternative or, you know? Yeah, it could go in so many different spaces. I like to think of myself as an electronic artist because i that's kind of why i started doing the art form that i do is because i got sick of being a classically you know classical violinist i got burnt out and i just was like i'm so tired of playing music that's been played for hundreds of years you know from mozart to to now and uh and what venues were you playing that classical music? Just in orchestras.

I played in orchestras in high school. You know, I played in the college orchestra at Brigham Young University. And, you know, I would do little solo gigs every now and then at weddings. But I was like, I want to entertain. I don't want to just impress. And I thought, well, what kind of music do I like? And I love EDM. I love dubstep.

And I was really getting into Skrillex. And so that's why I want to be classified as an electronic artist. It's obvious that there's classical music involved. There's a violin. So that's not going to surprise anybody. But the electronic side of it is something new for the violin. And so that's why i like to sit there and sometimes you actually play the electric violin anyway right i do so but that's not on

every track right no most of the time i actually play an acoustic traditional violin because i just like the sound of it better but either way there's so much you know electronic music in there that this is this is my category yeah that's that's my self-chosen category. I mean, and I didn't necessarily want to bring this up this soon, but since we're there, when you talk about pop and classical, you've got, what was that?

The New York Times piece? Yes, I had my first Basher article written on me in a small paper, the New York Times. Yes. And the way that they set it up was a pop expert or whatever and a classical music expert. Two critics. Right.

And doing what critics do, being critical. Right. And, you know, we're reading this before you come over and Rhett's reading. He's like, oh. I'm like, what? He's like, well, I'm reading this before you come over and uh Rhett's reading he's like oh I'm like what he's like well I'm reading this article so then I read it and it's you know they're being very critical I mean this just came out yeah I think two days ago or something is when you read it I assume you've read it I did read it like no this is only once how would you how would you describe it um you know i was really taken back because i've never had um you know i've never had a mean article

written about me they've always been very positive and like oh this is really interesting or you know this girl's an entrepreneur or just you know talking about the youtube model or the music but i've never had someone blatantly just say, gosh, she's not talented. She's not, you know, she's bad at the classical music and she's bad at the electronic. You know, I've never had someone come out and say that. So, you know, it's one thing for people to be like, oh, that stuff never bothers me. But it bothers, you know, I don't know how you can not be kind of hurt when you read that stuff. And I actually got the article sent to me by Peter Hollins, and I think he didn't read it.

He just was like, oh, check it out. You're in the New York Times. And then immediately he sent a link and then immediately sent a follow-up text of like, oh, I just, you know, they don't know what they're talking about. So I'm like, oh, he obviously didn't read this before he sent it. Well, on one hand, there's that sensation of, you know you've arrived at some certain level when there's people trying to rip you apart. That doesn't happen if you're just floating in the lower echelons.

Trust me, I've experienced that. Haven't we all, right? No, it's true. That's what my managers and my band, they were like, don't listen to it. Yeah, if you don't have haters, you're not doing something right. So that's very true.

And at the end of the day, it's kind of rethinking about it. It's like when you're making the old school guys scratch their heads and say, I don't get how this is working. It's kind of a cool, you know, I think that's what we YouTubers have been doing is making the old school program and system just say, I don't get it. I got to figure out because I don't get it. And so.

Well, that was the interesting thing about it. It was both of them, the pop guy and the classical guy were asking the question why yeah and i think that says it all you know for them to ask the question why is she popular just in their in lies the they've exposed themselves they are disconnected from what's actually happening in the place where uh you know you're experiencing this incredible success, which is just, it's a different thing. Right. You know?

And well-deserved. I would say in addition to that, it's, they're both, you talk about that people trying to encapsulate you or put you in a box. Right. That, okay, they try to put, one guy speaks from the pop box and someone else from the classical box. Well, there's all these fights happening over the iTunes charts wanting to know where to put you to. Right.

So to me, it seems like an asset that people can't box you in in that way. I mean, is that something that was calculated or just a byproduct of you expressing yourself? You know, I've always kind of, it's kind of been a theme, I think, of my life is I always hated it when people were categories. I didn't think categories were meant for people. You know, if you want to be a dancer who says you have to be shaped perfectly like this, or if you want to be a model like not all people are the same look you know I don't understand why everybody feels that people have to be categorized and and so in my music I just wanted to throw all these things together that I

loved without thinking about what it's supposed to be or what it's always been or what does go together dancing and violin that does not go together. But I love both. I love kind of quirky fashion. I love making videos. And I thought, what can I possibly do with my life that involves all my favorite things, like regardless of the rules? And this is kind of what happened. And you say you've never had anyone be that mean to you, but that's not really true. I mean, you've got the Piers Morgan thing on America's Got Talent, which I would love to get to that in context. If we could go back and kind of hear more of your story from the beginning, I'd love to hear where you came from and the start of it all.

And I'm talking infancy. Oh my goodness. So the start of it all, I started playing when I was a little kid. I begged my parents for lessons. Where is this? This is actually in California. I grew up in Santa Ana until I was like eight years old. Where the winds are? Yeah. Where the winds come from?

Oh, Santa Ana winds. Yeah. My mom, we lived out here when I was a kid. And since we moved back out here, my mom will kind of call and start talking to me, and she's like, you feeling those Santa Ana winds? She's from Georgia, but it's like, boy, she remembers those Santa Ana winds. Do you remember it? I actually don't. I just agreed because you seemed so excited about it. Well, Rhett's mom seemed excited about it.

Yeah, does she ask every time she calls? No, but she's obsessed with the Santa Ana winds. You're the source of them. You're town. Sorry, sorry. I apologize. She was young. Yeah, I didn't know any better.

Okay, so she just thought it was normal, that breeze. And what was your family like? I mean, your parents, siblings? Yeah, I have, well, back then, I had two sisters, and my mom and dad, and my dad was a freelance writer at the time, which we were a pretty, you know, if that says much, we were

not financially well off. What kind of writer? What did he write? Whatever he could find. He wrote advertisements, he wrote, you know, just anything. He also, he used to read me bedtime stories of his scripts. That was his dream job was to be a film script writer.

And so, like, I got a lot, a lot of who I am today is from my dad because he just kind of, like, filled my head with stories and experiences and adventures. And he always told me, like, you know, chase your dreams. And he was chasing his dreams when I was a kid. And also he wasn't afraid of the fact that, you know, sometimes chasing your dreams doesn't mean you have to succeed. It's the fact of chasing your dreams and feeling okay. You know, even if you don't get it, you still try it. And my dad is still writing and, you know, doing stuff.

And he never had his film made yet but you know um he's just inspired me so much to not be afraid of the fact that someday you might not reach your dream but it's okay to try you know it's kind of essential to try um so i'm very grateful to my dad for filling my head with crazy dreams and i always said i want i want to grow up and be like you dad like i want to I want to have adventures and do things. What about your mom? My mom's the best. She was a stay-at-home mom.

She raised a bunch of crazy little kids. And she was the most supportive, just driving us all to, like, whether it was violin lessons or soccer practice or, you know. And still, she's coming out to L. to LA actually this weekend for my tourist starting. And she's going to be helping me like kind of finish sewing my costumes. And she's going to be, you know, I gave her a list of, I also need a pirate map. Can you make me a pirate map? Like, you know, she's just super crafty.

Just personally, you need a pirate map or that's part of the show? I actually do. Well, okay, it's part of the show. I want my show to feel. Mom, first you have to bury the treasure, right? Backstage, and then you have to make a map for me to find it. Wow, that's quite a game. Yeah.

You're a pirate in your... No, I wrote a song called Master of Tides, and the whole theme of the song is I wanted it to feel like you were on a pirate adventure. And so in the show, my dancers are using violin bows as swords, and the whole thing is like we're on a pirate adventure. And so in the show, like my dancers are using violin bows as swords and the whole thing is like we're on a pirate quest. I'm the captain and the show is actually pretty theatrical. Do you wear an eyepatch?

You know, I might. I have not finalized that yet, but should I wear an eyepatch? For that number, yes. Or all night. Does anybody get scurvy? Nobody gets scurvy. Maybe I'll add that in there.

If we give you a third piece of advice, we're going to have to get a credit in the program. You should pass out oranges to the entire audience during that night. What? Oranges? That treats scurvy. Oh, okay. You start it off and say, you've all got scurvy, and then you give away free oranges. So listen, hey, just put us on payroll.

We'll travel with you. I'm going to say, creative directors right here. You'll have that exercise video and you'll be wearing an eye patch

and your career will be over so quickly. So your mom is in charge of the eye patch and the treasure map. and the treasure map.

So when did you move from Santa Ana? We moved to Arizona when I was eight and that's where most of my memories are from my childhood I consider that home

My family still lives there But yeah Arizona Arizona, nice and hot And like we're talking desert Not like the high snowy part of Arizona No, desert Which exists

Yes, it does Surprisingly no one knows about that part Except for you Yeah, I drove through the cold no one knows about that part, except for you. Yeah, I drove through the cold part one time. I was like, what is this? This can't be Arizona. I'm not in Arizona right now. So what kind of things did you do to entertain yourself at that age when you moved to Arizona? You know, we always, when we moved to Arizona, it was like our family's dream to live in, quote, we always called it the country. And we wanted to live somewhere where we could have like a horse in our backyard and chickens. And yeah, we moved to the country and we did. We ended up getting a horse. And so we would ride.

Me and the, we made best friends with the neighbor kids and we would play cops and robbers all day and build hay forts. I mean, the kind of like podunk. We'd play in the ditches. That was my childhood. Hay forts. Yeah. And you have a violin at all times? Always.

No, I did not. That's what I pictured. Okay. Hay fort violin. Ooh, that's like a little hoedown in itself right there. It is. Yeah. But no violin yet?

Violin, yes, but I didn't take it to the Hayforts. I would play at home, and then when I went outside, I'd leave the violin at home. Were you playing other instruments too? You know, piano lessons or guitar or anything else? It was like, no, this is my instrument. It was pretty much violin until,

let's see, I picked up the flute and then the baritone in high school. I mean, I was kind of your typical, I mean, I was in orchestra. I played the baritone and the flute. I was like a band nerd and an orc dork. I was the cool kid on campus, obviously. Now, when you make a decision to play an instrument, I mean, I know what went into it for me. It was just like, how cool am I going to be?

I don't know why I chose trumpet and Link also chose trumpet. I just felt like- Still play? No. Saxophone- I have it though. Okay.

I felt like saxophone is like, I'm trying to be cool and you know I'm trying to be cool and trumpet is like, I'm in the brass section, but I'm cool and I can make this cool. It can go either way with a trumpet.

Trombone is kind of like, I don't have a chance. Well, tuba, you don't have a chance. So when you just made the decision, you obviously made this decision at a young age, but what went into it? Was there like, oh, this person plays the violin, they're my inspiration, or it's like, no, I think that thing can fit up under my chin real well.

What went into that? So when I was really little, my parents used to take me and my sisters to orchestra concerts because they loved classical music. Neither of them played. They would also play these old records of classical music in our home. And at the concerts, I don't know if you've been to an orchestra concert in a while, but the first violin player, the first chair, they come out at the beginning of the concert and they tune the entire orchestra. And usually they're wearing something a little different than everybody else sometimes

wardrobe autonomy and they always get the solos and so i was just like to me like my parents didn't play like rock music we didn't go to rock concerts so to me that was a rock star i was like yeah that's the person in the orchestra that has the power and that like commands everybody wow i want to be that person like not just one of, wow, I want to be that person. Like, not just one of those violinists. I want to be that one that gets to stand up in front and tune everybody. And how is what they wear different? They have, like, a red sash or something?

What is the difference? Sometimes, I mean, sometimes they're wearing the same thing. And sometimes if it's, like, a special performer, like, you know, featured player, they'll, like, you know, the woman will wear, like, a red dress and everyone else is in, like, black, you know. featured player, they'll like, you know, the woman will wear like a red dress and everyone else is in like black, you know, so it just depends. But well, that seems like it's kind of a constant theme with you too, is kind of naturally finding a way to stand out. You know, did you did you notice that? Was that happening as a child? You were like, well, look what she's doing with her hair. What is she what is she trying to prove? I mean, were you dressing in different ways? How are you different? As a kid, I kind of joke that even as a little kid, I had a slight center stage syndrome. I mean, I think I was probably a pretty annoying child just because I always wanted to like,

ta-da, look at me. And I remember one of my first days ever going to school it was in first grade I wore a wig to school and like button up Chinese kimono with gloves like and I can't my mom let me go to school like this she you know in costume I went in a full-out like dress up costume sparkly red shoes like a wig and my and I can't I'm like what was my mom thinking like I came out ready to go to school and she's just like, all right. And what were you thinking? Like, what did you think you were going to accomplish? That's the thing.

I can't remember. I remember doing it. I remember walking into the classroom. Like, I think it's the reaction. I just knew that everyone would laugh, and that made me really excited. And luckily, kids were really nice in Santa Ana, California. Yeah, those winds keep you nice. And somehow, I'm like, man, I can't believe people didn't make fun of me. Maybe they did, and I was just so unaware that I was like,

are you kidding me? My wig is awesome. I've never heard of anybody wearing a wig the first day of first grade. Yeah, I don't know. That's a first for me. So, yeah, that's the kind of child I was. I get it. Not much has changed. Well, but you don't do the wig thing.

Yeah, I've left that out. I mean, for the record, it's not a wig, right? I was going to say, how do you know? No, this is my real hair. Okay. For the record. So you got your parents to buy you a violin. I did. I convinced them. And I know it was a big, it was a financial sacrifice. It was not easy for them to get me a violin and to pay for lessons. But I think that's why I worked hard as a kid was because they let me know that, hey, you know, if you don't practice, like that's when the lessons stop and that's when the violin goes away. And so I knew that if I want to keep doing this, I got to practice. Right. So at this time, as you're kind of developing the skill, getting better, beginning to experiment with other instruments, what were you thinking in terms of, you know, were you the kind of kid that had life goals, things that you wanted to accomplish, a career in mind, that kind of thing?

Yeah. I actually wanted to be a film director. I was super into making videos, violin. I always wanted to keep it a hobby. And I, you know, I worked really hard at it, but I was like, this is always going to be my fun. I don't ever want it to become work, you know, and that's why I didn't even study it in college. I still played and was in the orchestras and stuff, but it was like, that's going to be my fun. And that's ironically, I think, why it turned into my, quote, you know, career. It's because I still love it and I never lost that. But yeah, originally I went to BYU to study film.

I was in the film program. Oh, and we saw, I mean, you put them on your channel, the early videos you made back in high school, right? Yeah, Lindsay's Beginnings, right? Like 16 years old, 17, 18. Oh yeah, those are the best ones. A lot of cool special effects in those. I mean, we got stuff coming out of people's hands.

I love how you just recruited... Fire coming out of your hands? Well, the cool thing is you recruited all your girlfriends so it's just like all these high school girls. It was a little out of character turning around and like shooting ice and fire out of their hands and like none of us were actors like at all really i mean obviously which is so great like we just like i kind of cry like i'm laughing so hard every time i watch those because they're so bad now but at the time

you know obviously they've kind of become comedy videos. That's how they would be categorized at this point. Yes. But at the time, you were thinking action director? Pretty much. I remember thinking when we were making them, I don't know how I did not see that these were terrible, but I remember even my friends, I would show them as I was editing

and be like, look how good this special effects, it looks like fire is coming out of my hand. And they were just, whoa. I don't know why we all thought in some fantasy world that it looked really good. But we all knew this was going to win Sundance in the next year. And I don't know. Well, it was super entertaining. Well, thank you.

And so that's what you wanted to do. You go to BYU film school in order to pursue this. Based on your portfolio, they let you in. They let me in. Hands down. She's got that

fire hand thing down. I love the fact that you put that on your channel, by the way. I think that's just fabulous. Well, you know, I don't like to put up

a facade of like, oh, I just was, you know, just became this automatically overnight. It's like, no, everybody starts somewhere and usually it's pretty bad. Well, I think it just was, you know, just became this automatically overnight. It's like, no, everybody starts somewhere, and usually it's pretty bad.

Well, I think it's cool. I mean, you tell me if this is sexist, but there's a lot of, I see a lot of. Okay, that's a great way to start a question. A lot of guys. She probably won't tell you if it is. My guard is up. But I'll tell you if it is. I mean, there's a lot of guys who, I made videos as a kid.

You know, a lot of the, you just don't see as many girls who are wanting to be filmmakers or taking their dad's equipment and making videos with their friends and forcing their friends into their videos. Does that make you like a filmy tomboy type thing? Ooh, I guess so. I never thought of it that way.

It is true though. Like there aren't as many women in the field of this, and I'm not sure why. That's why, like, I've even gotten to speak at a couple conferences that were like women in technology, you know, because it's something that I think women are so artistic. And actually, maybe I'm the one that's being a little sexist. I love working. Like, I edit all my own videos, but if I don't edit them, I usually like to find a woman editor because they edit differently. Like women have, they see different things. And I think that women just have a different eye. And I think there need to be more women directors and such because yeah, men are great, but women are so rare and they bring something new to the table, I think.

Yeah. So on your team now that kind of makes things happen for you and your videos and that kind of thing where you're like, okay, let's bring in that group of girlfriends again like I had in high school. Let's bring my girls. No, actually, I mean, I guess most of the people I work with, it's a group of all-guy directors. I still need it. I haven't found any editors in L.A. that are women. And probably mostly I still do almost all my own editing just because I'm kind of a nerd. Really? It's one of my favorite parts of the whole process is I love to edit the video.

Okay, well, let's go back. So you made the decision to go to Brigham Young. Yes. So you were, were you raised in a Mormon household or? I was, yeah. I was brought up Mormon and just really, you know, it's made me so happy, you know, and I just fully believe it. And I actually went on a mission when I was 21.

That's standard. The young men are asked to go on missions, and then girls, it's kind of like, if you want to go, you can go too. Okay. So with girls, it's totally up to you. Yeah. And so was that an automatic decision? You wanted to do that?

Are most girls not deciding to do that? You know, it's becoming more and more common. It used to be a lot less common. But over the last couple of years, more and more women have started to go. but over the last couple of years, more and more women have started to go. And for me, I don't know if you've ever experienced this, where all of a sudden you feel very called to do something, and you just suddenly, something you never thought you would do,

but all of a sudden, like, that's how I felt. I was just like, I never planned on doing this. I never wanted to go on a mission, but I just suddenly felt so called to it. And, you know, it felt right. And I knew it was something I was supposed to do. And it was kind of, ironically, almost the same thing with music. I got off my mission and returned back to BYU. And I'd be sitting in classes. And all of a sudden, all I could think about was music.

And it was like music then became my calling. And all of a sudden, I've never been so driven about anything. And it was any moment of spare time, I was playing with a band here or writing over here or doing an open mic night, just finding any opportunity I could to play. But your mission was in New York City, right? It was. Uh-huh. And so that's a year? It's a year and a half. What did you do?

Year and a half. Yeah. So it's quite, it's a big chunk of time. And as a missionary, you just are teaching people that want to know more about, you know, the gospel of Jesus Christ or Mormonism or. And they pair you up, but you're paired with different people. Like when we talk with Shay in here, we really picked his brain about. Oh, yeah? Because he traveled a lot for his mission and he had all of these interesting stories about getting mugged and all types of stuff. Oh my gosh, where did he go? He went to an English-speaking,

he went to Trinidad and Tobago, right? Yeah, and then he went to, I can't remember right now, he went to the only English-speaking country in South America. Yeah, he wanted to speak another language. Oh, he went to the only one. In South America, yeah. That's crazy.

So what was a defining moment in your new york city mission experience oh very good bad or let's see a defining moment you know it was i always believed you know i mean i was brought up mormon and i always believed it was true i never kind of had much reason to question it because I was happy and, you know, I felt it was true. But it was on my mission. A mission's really hard because you do nothing but, you know, you don't watch movies, you don't listen to music, you know, all you're doing for a year and a half is literally service, teaching people, you know, and trying to find people that are searching for truth. And you get a lot of rejection with that. I mean, I was spit on.

People yell at you on the streets because they don't agree with, just by walking by, they just see your name tag, and they're like, oh, I hate you. But, I mean, of course, with the bad comes the most amazing, and it was just, and also you can't talk to your family or friends. You don't get to ever talk to them. For the entire 18 months. You get to call home on Mother's Day and Christmas.

So that's the only time you get to talk to your family and you get to write a letter once a week. And so it's really, this was a time when I had to just really soul search. I was like, when I was struggling, I couldn't call my best friend. I couldn't call my mom and just be like, I just need to vent. I was with somebody that I didn't even my mom and just be like, I just need to vent. I was with somebody that I didn't even get to choose to be with. And every girl I was with was great, but that doesn't mean they're your best friend. And so just really having to rely on prayer and thinking, do I... I'm out here sacrificing a lot. I'm putting a lot, you know, my life is on hold. And do I really believe

this? And when I am struggling, can I actually rely on a God to give me support? And for me, it was those moments. It was those hard times that taught me, yes, I can. And I do know this is true. This is worth sacrificing for to serve other people. And it was the most selfless time of my life. And even though it was hard, I was so happy. Because when you're not thinking about yourself all the time, like, you know, and you're thinking about other people, it's amazing the freedom and just the inner joy it brings you. I don't know. And there will never be another time in my life where I'll be able to 100% think about other people. And so I'm very grateful for that time that I had. And it, you know, and it also taught me that you really can get along with anybody, you know.

If both people are willing to make it work, like you can make any relationship work. And so that was a, you're kind of explaining that that was kind of a confirmation of your faith that you went on your mission. Since then, you know, since becoming the Lindsay Sterling that everyone knows and loves, and you've traveled the world and you've met lots of different people, had different experiences. Has that changed the way you think about your faith? No, I mean, in a way I've had to just really solidify in my own mind, like, where are the lines? Because the entertainment industry is not very much about, you know, centered on faith or standards. And so, you know, when I started to see myself going down this path of, and I started to catch a glimpse of, okay, this is actually going somewhere.

I think this actually is going to work. think this actually is going to work. I really drew some lines and decided where I was going to draw them and what I would do and what standards I would never, you know, let falter. And, you know, and I feel like a lot of times people think that's a disadvantage because I won't do certain things or I have to do certain things, but I feel like it's protected me so much because it's given me feet to stand on that aren't going to change and it's also and just in so many ways kept me grounded and real and it's just and it's me continue it makes me happy well it seems like you've gone you know a step beyond just uh okay well my faith kind of brings about these restrictions or or whatever but you've taken

the external step of saying publicly, you're part of the I'm a Mormon campaign. Oh, mm-hmm. Which is basically, that's like the marketing campaign for LDS, right? It's one of them. It was just, yeah, it's one of the marketing campaigns of just normal people are, because Mormons get this kind of weird rep of being very strange and just like weird. And so it was kind of a campaign of just like, look, they're normal. Like we are normal people. So did they, did they

approach you and say, we'd, we'd love to feature you? Uh-huh. And then were you like, okay, well, it's one thing to kind of, to be this in my private life. And people know, you know, they know your background when you went to college and that kind of thing but when you take a stand like that you know did you have reservations where you're like okay this is kind of a new this is a new level of sort of like my faith being out there on display well it does make uh you know it just made me when i thought about doing this i was like you know if i'm going to be out there in this bold of a way saying that i am mormon and this is what i stand for, I can't ever falter. Like that can't ever be a question because now I'm wearing, you know,

a lot on my shoulders of what I've chosen to represent and what my actions now reflect the actions of a Mormon. You're like an official Mormon. I'm like an official representative because of that video. But in a way, you know, it was almost kind of, okay, this will, in a way, almost help me feel that extra resolve. Because that's the person I want to be is not just Mormon, but those standards that have made me happy and that have kept me safe. And I don't want to change from that. And so it was kind of like, okay, this is just an extra little help to like never be tempted, you know, or be less tempted to like, oh, I've done this one time, you know? Well, and since making that stand kind of like, okay, just like you said, you know, okay, well, people have this perception of Mormons or

Mormonism and now that you've taken this public stand, have you gotten more questions about that? Do you feel like you've kind of taken a position of like, okay, I'm a defender of the faith now in the public forum. Like, I mean, how does that play itself out? I mean, I do get asked quite like in a lot of interviews I do. I'm, you know, I'm very comfortable. Like a lot of people like don't ask me about religion or whatever, but I'm very comfortable talking about it just because it's just part of who I am. But I will say it, you know, whether people are drawn to Mormonism or just, you know, finding their own faith. I do appreciate that a lot of people say that by listening to my story or whatever, that they've been encouraged to, you know, search their own beliefs and search what do they believe in do they believe in and try to find something that, that suits them. And to me that, I love that. I think that people deserve, you know, and everyone, it's up for everyone to choose what they want to be or who they want to be. But I think it's important to search that out. So after, after BYU,

connect the dots between when did the America's Got Talent audition take place? That was while you were in college, right? Yes. I think it was my junior year of college. I came down here to LA and auditioned for America's Got Talent. And that performance was basically a version of what you do now, what you're famous for, right? You were playing and dancing at the same time.

Which was, it was funny. That was one of the, that was the first time I'd ever kind of tried it. I was like, I have this great idea. At the time, I didn't have any original music. I was just playing over, you know, I think I played over like a Kesha track for one of them and a Flowrider track for another, you know. I would just basically take some of my favorite radio tunes and

dance to them while I played and that was my new idea. Okay. It's interesting because America's Got Talent, they'll find a lot of people on YouTube. I mean, we went on with the Dope Zebra. You did? We did. We were on. We got three X's really fast.

It was kind of by design, but that's okay. I mean, we were hoping to get at least like halfway through, but it was just, as soon as before. This is the Howard Stern era. First Howard Stern. Oh, and you know what? So this is more recent. We were the second people to ever audition for Howard Stern behind a marching band.

A marching band was the first. Remember that? And they got through. They got through. And then we go out there and before. We're the first thing that Howard Stern behind a marching band. A marching band was the first, remember that? And they got through. They got through, and then we go out there, and before the zebra starts dancing, Howie, I think. Before you got to dance? Before the zebra started dancing.

They're brutal. Well, Lindsey, we weren't in the suit. Oh. No, yeah. I hate to burst your bubble there. We were beside the suit dressed as safari men. In really short shorts. Of course.

We were being really stupid. Howard Stern said, you guys think you're funny, don't you? And we're like, uh. You're like, actually, millions of people think we're funny. Yeah, it was. Anyway, you fared a little better. A little better, yeah. But what I'm saying is America's Got Talent will find people who make YouTube videos

and then they'll say, oh, the producers will get them to come on the show. That's how we were approached, and we just did it for the fun of it. I found it interesting that you're telling me you invented your whole act in order to go on America's Got Talent? Well, actually, one step backwards. I invented that whole act because I wanted to be on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Oh. And I thought this was how I'm going to get on the show.

She loves dancing, and she'll think this is so funny. And so I filmed a YouTube video and posted it. It was before I even knew exactly what YouTube was. Okay. I posted it on YouTube, and for the time, it went viral. You know, like what went viral in 2007 is very different from now. Yeah. But that was even before my mission

and right after that I went on a mission and then when I got back from my mission was when that video was still just floating around. How many views were you talking about at the time? I think it got like half, it got like 400,000 views. But Ellen didn't call you. Ellen didn't call me.

But that, I mean. I still have not gotten on the show. Someday. Okay, that'll happen. But to say that, hey, I'm gonna do this to get on Ellen and you get 400,000 views is pretty amazing.

Right. And did you have any dance training or were you just kind of feeling it? I was just kind of jumping around, just feeling it, swinging my hips. No dance training.

Really? Yeah, none. But it's funny though because, I mean, I'm not saying I'm a dance expert by any means. I think you are. I've seen you in that zebra. Yeah, well, I wasn't behind the camera.

But, I mean, just like it definitely has this feeling of like, oh, she's got some sort of training here with the dancing and the pointing of the leg. She's got some sort of training here with the dancing and the pointing of the leg. It all looks very technical to me, a guy who can just do the running man and a little bit of the Roger Rabbit. Well, if I fooled you, then I feel very proud. Yeah, you're not saying much here, Rhett. So no training. It was just like you kind of just invented it. Yeah.

So how did you get on America's Got Talent? So anyway, so yeah so that video had gone kind of viral just one video and then they reached out to me as a result of that one video okay a talent scout found it from there said hey you should come out and I just I remember thinking at the time oh my gosh this is my big break because I had kind of been I'd driven to Vegas at this point and like handed out DVDs and gone and auditioned for different variety shows. Really? With this random violin dancing thing. You were going for it. I was really going for it.

And I was like, this is my break. Oh, my gosh. This is my chance. And so, yeah, I went for it thinking that my life was about to change. Was anybody else doing, I mean, is this concept of dancing and playing the violin in the way that you do it, is it a totally original idea, or is there like, oh, no, no, back in 74, there was this girl who was a, boy, you should have seen her. Yeah, no one's ever done it in my, at all, my style. No one's really done electronica type, well, you know, to the extent that I've done it.

You know, there's like a group called Barrage, and they kind of like Celtic dance, or they kind of like stomp their feet, and, you know, they'll move, but not full-on twirling backbends dance, like not dance dancing. Right. It's very, just more choreographed movement. I thought you were going to say full-on twerking. Twerking? You said full-on twirling.

I don't twerk. That's not my thing. I leave that to twirl. Twirl. I'm twerking. I'm not a twerk. I don't think it would look pretty if I twerked, but I don't think twerking looks... Well, those I'm a Mormon people will call you right up and be like, hold on now.

We got to talk about this twerking. So you go out there on stage. Right. How did you feel? You know, I was so nervous. I was like beyond nervous. It was the first time I'd ever done this kind of performing in front of an audience, you know?

And my first audition went really well. Like they all liked it and said, hey, you're going to Vegas. And I was all excited. And I made it to Vegas and Vegas again, you know, super nervous, but I prepared a new routine. And again, you're going through to the live rounds in Hollywood. So far, so good. And that's when I was really like, my life is about to change I'm gonna actually get to have a full-on performance on live tv um coming up soon and so um and then when I made it to that you know the next round where it was live that's when like I was beyond nervous you know I don't think I've ever felt that nervous before for is that moment but it's kind of funny because after a week they like all these

camera crews are constantly filming you and people are interviewing you all the time and uh you know you have your own makeup artist your own costume designer you know just you're treated like a rock star and I've never been treated like that before and so you know I got to this point was like wow I feel like I'm a really big deal I'm gonna do awesome and you know I remember walking on that stage and even though I was so nervous I felt like like a million bucks. And I was on top of the world at that moment until I played. And then I got X'd. And I was just like, oh my gosh. And then the judges told me a bunch of really mean comments. And at that point, it's just amazing to me. I've never felt that much of an extreme of

feeling on top of the world and 90 seconds later feeling humiliated like lower than you could ever feel in your life and just like i am dirt oh my gosh i am scum of the earth kind of a feeling um but so there's the one piers morgan quote yeah which i don't remember i'm not gonna make you say unless you want to. Oh, no, it's a good one. He told me I sounded like drowned rats being strangled, which is really nice. I don't even know what that sounds like. You know, and just then he went on from there.

And then the other two judges, were they laying into you too? Sharon's super sweet. I think she could tell I was about to cry. So she just was like, you know, you know, you have time, you can get back, you know, very encouraging, but definitely no, like, you were great. So you were really holding it together. Oh, I did. I did not. I did not break a tear until I left the stage. And then I, you know, I might've cried a lot. But was that, was that caught on camera? It wasn't. They want to interview you as soon as you leave the stage. They want to catch those tears so bad.

But I held it together until finally they cut. And then I just ran into the bathroom and just sunk to the floor. Ew. In a public bathroom backstage and just was there for like an hour just crying. Who was with you? I was by myself. Oh, man. Who was with you? I was by myself. Oh, man. I was 18, so they don't allow you to have people.

Like, if you're, like, 16, you can have your mom or, you know, whatever. But if you're over 18, I was—actually, I was 22. So I was over 18, so I couldn't have anybody. Oh, man. So I was just by myself. And then what? I mean, were you like, that's it? I'm not doing that anymore.

Well, kind of in a way, as I sat in that bathroom, yeah, I was like, I'm never going on a stage again. Like that was humiliating. I never put myself out there like that before. And for it to like just come crashing down from such a high level so fast, you know, national TV being told those things, my family's in the audience. I'm just like every person I know and I've ever met is watching tonight. They all tuned in to support me. And, you know, and my family was so overwhelmingly supportive and they didn't try to tell me like, you know, you were great. They just said, we are so proud of you. Like, regardless what anybody else said, like, we are proud of you. And it took a while to get over it. It did.

And finally I just realized like, no, I love doing this. And I just started. I don't even know exactly what it is that I'm doing yet. I'm still trying to learn to dance. And I was like, I shouldn't give up. I just have to get better so that I make sure no one ever says that to me again. And it gave me a lot of like, all of a sudden it switched from like fear and terror to like a lot of motivation of like,

oh, I want to prove them wrong. I'm going to turn this around and I'm going to show, you know, and I love to be able to tell that story to teenagers and kids. I love to like go to high schools and talk about it and show the video. It's super embarrassing. Anybody can see how embarrassing that would be.

But then to be like, but look, you can't let other people tell you who you are. And at the time I thought, oh, I just blew the biggest moment of my life. I blew it. But the biggest moment of your life will come again. There kind of is no such thing. They'll keep coming and they'll come again.

If you blow it again, there'll be another one. So what was the game plan what happened next I didn't really know I kind of continued the more traditional route I started trying to write I did

I wrote some original tracks and I was like I'm going to throw these on the good old iTunes and you know I'm going to send them to record labels and yeah

and you were still at college at the time yeah I'm still in college I'm finishing up soon and yeah I wrote this music and i basically took all my savings and poured it into writing this music you know and i couldn't get anyone to believe in what i was doing no record label was like oh we see the vision we get it like no one could see it um except uh devin super tramp who contacted me who's like hey I have this YouTube channel and I feature

interesting talents on it and yeah we I mean we absolutely have always known of his channel amazing oh he's amazing

cinematic you know mind-blowing shots in nature of crazy things happening people swinging on stuff lots of people having a good time exactly lots of people especially lately mind-blowing shots in nature of crazy things happening. People swinging on stuff. Lots of people having a good time.

Exactly. Lots of people. Especially lately. I'm just always like, these people. Everyone has so much fun. This is... Jumping off cliffs, swinging off cliffs. Who knows so many beautiful people having such a good time doing amazing things?

I mean, it's like, it's a little... It's not really representative of the world. With a helicopter cam there. Right, yeah. So he contacted, like a cold call, email type thing? a little it's not really representative of the world with a helicopter cam there right yeah so so he contacted like a cold call email type thing a facebook message facebooked me and at the time was he at byu he went to byu he had since left but he had enough friends at byu that like one of them sent them a link to like hey dude this girl goes to byu check it out it's kind of interesting and so he was like yeah, that's really interesting.

And he could kind of see a vision that other people couldn't see in it. And so yeah, he contacted me and offered to do a free music video. And the only requirement was just like, let me put it on my channel. And I was like, of course. His stuff's amazing. You can do it. And from there, we did this one music video. And that night, he taught a YouTube seminar at BYU.

And tons of my film friends went. And so I went. And my mind was blown, to say the least. I was one of those people that had no idea that YouTube was a world and that it was a platform and that you could have your own channel. What? And he just kind of went through, like, this like this criteria of like this is how you do it. Like step by step. This is how you can become a YouTuber and take control of you.

And I was so inspired. That you started dating him. That I started dating him. No. Okay. I remember thinking, hey, he's really cute. But we started dating a little bit later. What are you laughing at?

Okay, we'll get to that. Okay. I'm blushing. You guys can't see it, but I'm getting embarrassed. But yeah, we started doing all kinds of projects together. And I was just like, I remember I called my mom after that because I was so discouraged. Just this whole music industry. I was like, how does one ever get in?

Like, how do you stick your foot in the door unless you have a million dollars or a connection? And finally, I just was like, mom, I figured it out. I know the way that I'm going to make it. I can do it my own way. All these other people wanted me to change and do this, and then maybe we'll take you on, but I didn't want to. And I was like, I can do it my own way. I can do it my own pace. I don't have to wait for someone to tell me I'm ready. And so yeah yeah I started working with Devin we did all kinds of projects and what was the first video that was on his channel it's called I think he called it epic violin girl because all his because yeah you know at the time epic epic first then two other words girl girl is very searchable. Violin? Pretty killer. Yeah, right. Why not?

It's very smart. So yeah, and it's one of my first songs I ever wrote. It was called Spontaneous Me, and it's just me dancing around in really pretty places in Utah playing the violin, much like most of my videos. It's also on your channel. It is on my channel. And I have to say, it was amazing, because I had these three songs on iTunes that hadn't sold at all.

No one knew. My mom bought them, and my best friend bought them to support me but suddenly immediately when he put up this video on his channel I think he had he only had 25,000 subscribers at the time but to me that was a lot that was like whoa he's got an audience of 25,000 people and all of a sudden my songs started to sell and i was like okay i'm totally sold on this youtube thing i need to build up my own little channel which i think had like 3 000 subscribers from that one video but wow so and let's date that followed yeah how did how did that work well you know he was actually living in hawaii at the time and so we like whenever he would come to ut, he would come to Utah quite a bit for projects because he had lots of connections in Utah and all his film buddies were there. And he was coming back and forth from Hawaii to Utah. And we'd always hang out whenever he was here. I'd help him on his, you know, shoot as much as I could. And, you know, he did a video for me here and there. And we started Skype dating. How cute is that?

Wow. I know. Across the ocean. Across the ocean. Now, when you Skype date with Devin Supertramp, it's like the laptop with the Skype camera mounted on like a helicam and it's like rotating all around 360. He uses a red camera as his webcam. You get like a 4K image of him.

It's like immaculate quality. Epic Skype date. That should be his next video. I will text him and let him know. So you were long distance dating. So we were long distance dating. For how long? Oh gosh, like probably like three months.

Okay. So not too long, not too long not too long and then um you know his channel was getting bigger and he was starting to travel a lot hawaii is not the most convenient place to travel the world from and so he you know was like i'm gonna come to utah and we started real dating once he came to utah are you guys together now? No, we're not. We dated for about a, I think about a year, a little over a year.

And, but yeah, we're not together anymore, but we still, you know, we're still friends and we still keep in touch a little bit. Is it just too difficult

to manage two major YouTube channels together? Is that what it is? You know, no, it wasn't so much that. It was, I think I,

we both just realized that we fell in love with kind of something that was not going to last. Like we were chasing our dreams together. That's pretty, like, that's a pretty romantic notion. And we were getting to travel these epic places around the world, making these videos, like, all paid for by other people. And, like, just going on all these adventures. And I think we fell in love with each other's like passion and drive and at the end of the day we just kind of realized like we're two very very different personalities like you know when all of this slows down like are we still gonna love each

other right you know i think we just realized we'd fallen in love over something that wasn't actually real right so and And now your latest album, yeah, the new release, Shatter Me. Yes, uh-huh. Tell us about the, you know, the story behind that title. There seems to be a sort of a theme that you're hitting on with the album.

There is. It all went back to, I had this envisionment in my head one day, right about when I started writing the album, of that picture that's the cover. The cover is me as this little ballerina, and I'm in this globe, and it's like starting to crack. And I just started thinking about this ballerina that spins inside this music box. She's perfect. She's beautiful and flawless, porcelain, you know.

And she just spins forever to this melody and never, you know, never changes. And I thought about, does she want to change? Does she want to get out? And I just had this ultimate connection to this character, this little ballerina, because there was a time in my life when I felt so trapped. And I actually talk about it in my I'm a Mormon video. When I was a teenager, I went through anorexia and it got pretty severe before I even realized that there was a problem. And I just remember one day realizing like, I am so unhappy. I am so unhappy and I didn't used to feel like this. Like what is wrong with my life? Like, why do I cry when nothing's wrong?

Like, you know, and it was just because I had gone into such severe depression because my body was so malnourished and I was so consumed with things that weren't real, like scales, numbers, food, like just constantly. That's all I thought about. And it's like this colorful, vibrant life of that little girl that wore a wig to school and loved to like put on plays for the neighborhood had been completely suffocated by this image of like having to be perfect and having to be in control and it was almost like that porcelain shell of this ballerina and this shell of this music box and um so shatter me what was the was there a trigger that started that i mean you said that one day you kind of realized that you had a problem. I mean, some people, they never realized, they have to be told or there has to be some sort of

intervention that you, to convince them they have a problem. It sounds like you had that realization yourself. Did other people know that you had a struggle with anorexia? Can you trace it back to, was there a trigger? You know, I had had it for a little bit and my mom had started with saying, you know, a while before this, quite a while before this, like, Lindsay, I think you look really thin. Like, I think there's something wrong. No, mom, I'm just super healthy. I'm busy. I'm in college, you know, or I'm in high school, whatever. You know, I just eat really healthy. And I just kept putting it off. And, you know, or I'm in high school, whatever, you know, I'm just, I just eat really healthy. And I just kept putting it off. And, you know, she'd also sat me down later on saying, Lindsay, I think you have an, I think you have an eating disorder. No mom, like you're crazy. Like,

but one day I just remember it was like everything clicked. I don't even know what the trigger was. I actually, I was remember, I was thinking about how I had just been on a date and on the date, I couldn't even think about what the guy was saying because I was panicking inside that there was pizza in front of me and that he was expecting me to eat it. And all of a sudden, I was home after this date, and I was so sad for no reason. And I was like, why am I like this? I didn't used to be like this.

And I just realized my mind was consumed by worrying about stupid things like the fact that there's cheese on this piece of pizza and I have to eat so much that I wasn't even able to focus at all on a person that was in front of me. And I realized my sister was, you know, we were roommates and I realized I don't even like, I don't even talk to her much anymore. Like just, I've cut people out of my life because I am so consumed with worrying about myself and being perfect all the time. And you know, why you felt that way. I mean, even the trigger on the front side, I don't know. You know, I, I worked, um, as a therapist for a little bit, um, after work, you know, down the line a while later, um, I actually was going to be a therapist for eating disorder girls originally when I graduated or finished college. And sometimes there's really strong triggers.

Other times there's not. It just is something that gradually happens to people as a result of like all the media and the society that we, the values that our society has. And it just kind of innately grows in people and they don't you don't realize it because it grows so subtly and um you know and then before you know it like you're consumed and it's just who you and then when it's a problem in your brain and eating disorder is an actual mental disorder and it's so hard to recognize and it's so hard to overcome because it's the way you think you can't step outside your own brain and think about how do other people think you know it's like it's just who I was and I was so used to thinking that way

that it when it finally dawned on me that that's not normal I remember talking to my mom about it being like like I think about this all the time is that not normal you know and just no that's that's not normal Lindsay you know and um and you know, that's not normal, Lindsay, you know. And, you know, I just remember feeling at this time when I finally realized there was a problem. I was just screaming inside. I just wished that someone would break me free and just shatter this world that was encasing me. And finally, you know, after I went to therapy, I went to group sessions. I worked it out. My family was very supportive. Finally, I learned that I was the only one that could change myself. No therapist could save me.

My mom couldn't save me. That's kind of the song Shatter Me. The music video is about that ballerina. Basically, she has to break her... There's this moment in the video where I hold up my hand and I see all these cracks all over my body. And I just remember when I was starting to change out of my eating disorder habits, it was so scary because everything I had learned to value was based on this crazy disorder in my head, like everything that had value. And I just wondered if I change, is there

anything left? Is there going to be any value left in me? And that's what this ballerina had to think. If I, you know, keep cracking, is there going to be anything left? And, but she makes the decision to play and she shatters the, you know, her shell and that's when she discovers herself. So that's what Shatter Me is about. It's about self-discovery. Now, since, you know, you've obviously shared that story in a number of different venues, and now you've kind of made it come to life in your music, my experience in talking to some other people who've kind of been vulnerable about something like that, a struggle like that, because YouTubers are so connected to their fans,

a lot of times you can get very overwhelmed with the amount of people who are reaching out to you for help. What has that been like for you as people have come? Obviously, I'm sure people have come out of the woodwork and said, I'm also struggling with this. What do I do? How do you handle that type of fan interaction from people who are struggling with an eating disorder?

You know, my heart goes out to them so much because, you know, I just, I know it's such a lonely disorder. It's something that's so secret. And even when I figured it out, like I only told my mom for a long time. My sister knew, but she could tell. But, you know, I didn't want to tell her. I couldn't, you know, and it's such a lonely disorder. You feel like no one can understand you.

So I, as much as I can, I'll try to, like, those are the ones I really do try to tell her. I couldn't. And it's such a lonely disorder. You feel like no one can understand you. So as much as I can, I'll try to respond. Those are the ones I really do try to respond to. I mean, I just try to respond to a variety of different things. But my heart just connects so much to that. And I just want people to know there's hope because it feels so hopeless at the times. How can I change the way I think? It's impossible um but I just want to let people know that like yeah you can change and this is how I did it but it's different for everybody and so yeah I mean I I think it's a it's extremely inspirational to hear uh the victory that you can achieve over the the way you even your own brain works. But I assume it's not something that's just, okay, you kind of kill those thoughts and it's over.

Isn't there some level of a residual struggle that is still there? Or is it something that you can put on a shelf and it's dealt with? Well, it's actually, it was super discouraging when I first, because when I found out I had it, I did so much research about what is exactly this problem that I have and what do people say about it. And it was so discouraging because they say over and over again, you'll never be cured from an eating disorder. And I was like, oh, that sucks. Like, I'm always going to be like this. But, you know, and it's to an extent, I still have a little unhealthy part of my brain, but I know how to control it now. Sometimes thoughts creep in, and I can sense, and it usually happens when I'm getting super stressed.

Those little triggers start to come in, but now I recognize them, and I can just be like, hey, get out of here. Because it is a brain process, I basically had to retrain my brain on automatic thoughts. When something happened, the automatic thought was. Like, you know, when something happened, the automatic thought was, oh, you're worthless because you did that, you know? No, I'm not. You know, I had to retrain my brain, the automatic processes, and I had to look in the mirror. And even though I didn't believe it, I would be like, you're beautiful. And, you know, I just really had to train myself to basically love myself again and treat myself right. to train myself to basically love myself again and treat myself right. And so because I've done it before, I mean, and it, I would go through relapses, but every relapse was less severe.

And every time I'd get stronger and I'd get quicker at recognizing, oh, I'm starting to slip again. And now it's just, you know, I mean, I just, I see it automatically when, when thoughts start to come in or I start to act a certain way, I'm like, oh, no, that's not good. We're going to fix that. So you're getting ready to head off on your tour. Mm-hmm. When do you leave for that? On Tuesday.

Oh, gosh. Or no, we leave on Monday. We leave on the 12th. Okay. So right around the corner as soon as the eye patch is sewn. Basically, you're leaving here and going on tour. Yeah. We're going.

We're going to be doing the U.S. for two months, and then we go to Europe for a month and a half. And so we're going to be just going. So these events coming together, getting ready to head off on this tour you have this critical article in the new york times you know they said they said some difficult things even though they don't really understand what they're talking about uh do you feel like you've got something to prove not in that way i have such an amazingly supportive fan base. I couldn't ask for a more supportive group

of people than the people that have followed me from the beginning. I am a little nervous, not about proving myself to anybody, but I'm doing so many things that I've never done before on this tour. I always like to try something new. I want to stretch the envelope a little bit and try new things.

But definitely taking – Don't stretch the envelope. You should push it, but don't stretch it. Push the envelope. But you should stretch before your performances because – Stretch yourself and push that envelope. I've pulled quite a few things. You know, I think that's where I mixed it up.

That's my bad. I'm sure you have to stretch. So you're doing what? Definitely. What types of things? Well, I've gotten really good at improvising and jumping all over the stage. And like I said, twirling, not twerking. But I've gotten really good at just bouncing all over the place. But this time I'm working with a choreographer for the first time, my first dance instruction ever. And I have two backup dancers that I'm really excited about. And we have a lot of choreography together. And so, you know, if I get off, it's very obvious because the two dudes next to me are doing, you know.

So anyways. So it's two guy dancers. Yes, it is. I wanted them to be able to, like, pick me up and, you know. And also having two, like like strong dudes next to me makes me look super dainty so yeah well like i said i i'm i'm truly inspired by your story you know the things that you've overcome and just the the negative feedback and the way that it fuels you to to achieve victory today by the way i can't believe I forgot to mention this.

Just today, Piers Morgan tweeted, I wish I could remember it verbatim, but he said, Okay, Lindsey Stirling, you proved me wrong. How awesome was that? Hey, today. That's great timing.

I know, I was pretty stoked about that. I was like, that's been a long time in coming. Thank you, Piers Morgan. So, anyways. Closure. Closure, finally. The open wound has been stitched up now. Did you reply?

I retweeted. I actually have not replied yet. It's been a crazy, I was on set all day. But you retweeted it. I retweeted it and I Instagrammed it, but I should reply. That's the polite thing to do. What are you, let's see.

I know, what should I? Listen, I can come in. You's the polite thing to do. What are you, let's see. I know, what should I say? Listen, I think you know what you're asking. Rhett to tell you what to say. Just buy my workout DVD and we'll call it even. I think it's worth it. I would just say, thanks, but no thanks. No, no, no. How about too late, Piers?

No, okay, how about. Keep them coming. These are all really bad. How about just. How about, tell me about how your show's going. Thank you. Which is canceled. Means are all really bad. How about just... How about how... Tell me about how your show's going. Thank you. Which is canceled. Means a lot.

Really. Exclamation point. Exclamation point. Okay. Then a wink. Ooh, an emoji wink? Or just a little, like, semicolon wink? Hmm.

I don't know. What did the British prefer? Probably just the real one, the semicolon. The real one? Oh, the semicolon. Okay. Yeah, not emoji. Well, listen, this has been a true pleasure

Yes It's time for you to sign the table Thanks for coming in Yes Awesome Thanks for having me And there you have it Our ear biscuit

With the one and only Lindsey Stirling. Let Lindsey know what you thought about her ear biscuit. Tweet at her. That's at Lindsey Stirling. That's Lindsey with an E, not an A. And, of course, that's at the end of the name, not at the beginning. Well, there's also an I. It would be Lansy or Lansy.

There's one E and there's three I's in Lindsey Stirling. Lindsey with an E and Stirling with an I. You know, I mean, you got to know these things because there's a bunch of different ways to spell that. You could probably spell that name. It's Lindsey with an I and an E. 17 different ways. And Stirling with two I's.

I know. But yeah, well, you know that the Lindsey with an E means Lindsey with an I at the beginning, right? Or is there a Lindsey where you spell it L-Y-N-N-D-S-E-Y? We could have just spelled it out and we'd have been done a few minutes ago. L-I-N-D-S-E-Y-S-T-I-R-L-I-N-G. I just spelled it in a way that makes it sound confusing.

But you didn't seem too fond of any of my ideas for her. Well, honestly, I thought they were great ideas, and I didn't want you to, I wanted to get a contract in place before you shared them with her. Oh. Because she's going to kill it with that workout DVD. Dude, man, let me tell you right now. I didn't want her to be insulted.

I was a little concerned. It's not an insult. I mean, I don't think it was. Of course I know it. It's nothing like asking her if she plays weddings or kids' birthday parties. It's just you're doing this amazing aerobic thing, and you're playing music at the same time. You could give all of the people in the class a fake violin.

They don't have to know how to play the violin. And you know what? That's just one more thing to sell with the DVD. You get the DVD. Of course, I mean, they don't do DVDs anymore. Buy the DVD, get a free violin. Get a free rubber. The economics of that don't work.

No, get a free plastic violin or rubber violin. It's just something you put up there. And you know what it is? It's weighted. The violin is weighted. Ah. And there's different ones. You get a whole set of weighted violins.

You could sell these things in Target, Walmart. You go in there and you're like, oh, there's that Lindsey Stirling set. Seven violins of different colors increasing in weight, and you get the DVD with it. Think about that. I've worked my way up to the Lindsey Sterling workout cello. Still under my neck. I'm a strong dude. Man, sometimes I just wish we had time to execute these things. Of course, we gotta get her to buy in on this. Okay, that's what you need to tweet at her, people. That's why we went through so much trouble

to make sure you knew how to tweet at Lindsey, because we gotta get her on board with this workout DVD. Two guys, two weights, and a violinist with a cello. We could call it violin-a-stenics. Yes. Violinistinics with Lindsey Stirling. Oh, wow. That's a collab on our channel.

All right. We talked to Lindsey afterward about doing a collab on our channel, and I was like, I don't know what we would do, but you know where to find us, and that's our idea. Yeah, that's got to be it. Okay. Please, no one else do it first there it is

the creative process happening in the in the post haze of of Lindsey Stirling having left the building

remember uh if you like Ear Biscuits and you wanna keep having Ear Biscuits manufactured and put into your

ear holes via headphones or however you listen to this uh let us know what you think about it on iTunes. You leave a review and you rate the podcast. That helps us a lot. You can also leave a comment on SoundCloud.

Yep, do it. While you're on iTunes, download Shatter Me, Lindsay's new album, of course. Yeah, go ahead and do that, too. And see her in concert. She's going to have two guys being backup dancers. Yeah, she's going to have an eye patch. And listen, she's going to be coming to a city near you.

She's going all over the freaking world. She's probably going to come to a city near you, and you should go see her. But we're going to be right here. She's giving out free oranges in one of the numbers. No scurvy for you. We're going to be right here next week. You can count on us to deliver another hot piping biscuit

for your year. Wow. And we will also be hot and piping. Like, we'll have pipes. Like, flutes. Like the Pied Piper and we'll be dancing

and it will be, we could be the Pied Pipers and that could be our... This is in the video? This is on the... This is in our workout video. Okay. Weighted pipes.

Hot and piping with Red and Link. All right. Talk to you next week. Yep.