Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Ep. 49 Rhett & Link "2014 Time Capsule" - Ear Biscuits

Episode Date: September 12, 2014

In this special Rhett & Link-only episode, the guys create a one-of-a-kind audio-only time capsule for 2014. The content, which is extremely "thorough," "accurate," and "objective," is specifically designed to listen to this week and every 10 years thereafter until the end of time. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting is just the two of us. Greetings people of the future. Thank you for listening to this archaic form of entertainment, audio entertainment, known as a podcast, specifically this one called Ear Biscuits the Show.

I think a little explanation. This episode called Rhett and Link 2014 Time Capsule. Yeah, to give a little context here to those of you listening in the present and those of you listening in the future. I guess those of you who are listening in the future. I'm the only one listening in the present and those of you listening in the future. I guess those of you who are listening in the future. I'm the only one listening in the present, right? Well, those of you listening in the short-term future

and those of you listening in the long-term future, two different groups of people, and then all in between. This is how this works. We thought that it would be appropriate and almost mandated by us personally to take stock of the way that we are seeing the world these days. Not us personally, but the way the world is in terms of technology, style, what we're like at this point. Right, and to create an audio record,

to basically create an audio time capsule. Yeah. Inspired in part by our kind of off-the-cuff conversation with Hank Green. Right. Where somehow we were speaking to people 2,000 years, 2,000 years in the future? 2,000, like the year 4,000-something, yes.

So what we're doing- Which is quite confident that people would be listening in 2,000 years in the future? 2,000, like the year 4,000 something, yes. So what we're doing- Which is quite confident that people would be listening in 2,000 years. It's very pompous. I mean, this one is just simply a 10-year capsule. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. I think-

2024. Because it's easy to remember. It's not too much time for people to forget. So those of you who are listening in 2014, thank you, by the way, for taking this as it was given to you, as it was intended. Make a note right now. Keep listening, by the way.

Listen to the whole thing, but I want you to go ahead and get out your phones because you're going to forget this or take out your computer. I guess you're listening to this on your phone or your computer. They might need to tattoo themselves with it because what kind of device are they going to have the same phone? Is it going to port over? Is it going to go from the cloud?

I assume if you put a reminder in your phone for January 1st, 2024, it doesn't have to be an exact 10 years. Let's just say the new year, 2024, because we don't even know what date this podcast, this episode is going to come out necessarily. You put a reminder in there and it just needs to say, listen to that old Ear Biscuits. If you can find it. And hopefully, hopefully you will be able to find it. Maybe, you know, you should go back and do the reminder

and put the URL. It'll still be, it'll still work. All you gotta do is think about it 20 years from now, 10 years from now. 10 years from now, all you gotta do is think about the podcast and you'll start hearing it in your brain. You're right. That'll be a Google search. You'll be thinking. Right, so you'll be thinking it. Now, so this is

gonna be important. Well, this is going to be important. This is gonna be fun. Hopefully it's gonna be laughable. This is gonna be important. Well, this is gonna be important. This is gonna be fun. Hopefully it's gonna be laughable. This is gonna be interesting. This is gonna be something. It'll be laughable for those of you listening in 2024. You're already laughing.

You're like, oh, listen to how they talk. Oh, they speak English in those weird accents. Now, are we listening to this back too? Because are we still alive? Well, I mean, we might not be. I certainly hope we are. I mean, if we- I mean, that's a thought.

If we live to the proper age or the expected age and we die of old age, we'll be alive. Certainly. Ten years from now, I would hope so. There could be an accident. But maybe that brings us to our next Rhett and Lincoln Ear Biscuit, which is the eulogy Ear Biscuit. Self-eulogy?

I don't mean to get so morbid here. Let's keep it light, but let's keep it real. I think it's important, as we talk about these things, we've got a few categories that we're going to kind of conversate through here. Yes. It's important that we're honest. We don't need to candy coat or sugar coat.

2014. 2014. It is what it is. It is what it is. And here it is, and we're just describing it, anticipating that 10 years from now, we're just gonna just cackle at, you know, so even- It'll be like Laurel and Hardy,

listening in on Laurel and Hardy. Do you wanna start with comedy? That's an interesting thing. The state of comedy? What? In 2014, everything we've set up to this point was humorous. See, I'm candy-coating. I'm already sugar-coating.

Well, it was intended to be, we think that we're funny. We think that we're thinking that this is a funny concept in 2014. We think that we're funny now. We think that people will find this funny. Even what we're saying. If they have a good sense of humor. Right now, we think it's funny.

We think this is funny, we do. We think that we're being funny right now in 2014. Yeah. 10 years from now, of course not. This is stupid. First of all, maybe you should set two reminders because 10 years from now, you know what? You should, you know what? It should be a recurrent reminder and it should say every 10 years from now, you know what? You should, you know what? It should be a

recurrent reminder and it should say every 10 years. Oh, wow. I think that's probably an option because this is an incremental thing because I really don't think that the sense of humor of people is going to be that different in 10 years, but 100 years, you know, after 10 reminders

you'll probably be dead, eh? So maybe eight reminders from now. I think people get what we're doing. We should probably just start doing it. We've taken a lot of time just explaining the concept. In 2014, let's start with this. In 2014, you can hold down the button on your phone, and you can speak into it and set a reminder. Yeah. Which is, by the way, the only way I have ever attempted to use Siri. Well, and I will say one thing, being a person who is usually around when Link is reminding

himself of something. I'm told Siri, I'm told that Siri can do lots of things. I've never attempted anything. He is horrible at setting reminders. The other day- I don't even know how to activate it properly. I watched him or listened to him try to remind himself about

something. I don't even remember what it was. He never ended up reminding himself of it. I think it was set an alarm so we could go surfing. In 2014, we do a thing called surfing. You missed like every, she got everything wrong and she like asked you if you wanted to do a web search

about surfing or something she did not respond well to you well the first thing that happens is in 2014 I'll hold down

this button and then I'll be like Siri set my alarm for 5am and then it will it will be like

I will have started talking too early and then it did it work? it worked it would be like, I will have started talking too early. And then it, did it work? It worked. Set an alarm for 5 a.m.

Oh. Whoa, she did it. First of all, I should delete that one. Don't wake up, you're gonna wake up at 5 a.m. I've gotten good at setting my alarm. But for the longest time,

I would start talking too late and it would say, I don't understand. Yeah. And that's the struggles of 2014. Now, have you ever talked to your phone another way? Because I think that would be a good thing to

put it in the time capsule. Yeah, I ask the phone questions. You ask it like... Siri, where's the nearest taco? Upstairs in the refrigerator. What is she saying? Well, she says there are 17 restaurants

within two miles that serve tacos. She's probably right. Where is the nearest taco? You haven't asked that. Well, I'm gonna ask her right, well, yeah, I'll ask her right now. Siri, where is the nearest taco? Do you have to say Siri?

Checking on that. Okay, I found this on the web for where is the nearest taco. Taco Bell store locator. Oh, okay. Del Taco locations. Those are not the best tacos within... I didn't say the best. I said the nearest. She knows what's up. Where's the best taco, period. Okay. So that's my contribution, voice activation. Yeah. And let me just make a little prediction to see how Nostradamus.

It's kind of limited. I am. I assume that when the first reminder dings in 2024, that your conversations with your phone will just be not like talking to a person. I don't think it's there yet. But surely you just talk to the phone normally. Right now, when we want to tell the phone something, we have to speak very clearly. I don't think you're going to talk to your phone in a demeaning fashion,

like you're talking to a person who can't hear very well. I never noticed this before, but when you enunciate like that, your mustache dances. Yeah. Well, we could talk a little bit about our style currently. I do have a mustache, and it's attached to a full beard.

In two places. I know. On either side of your mouth. Yeah, well, yeah. It's a symmetrical beard. I should describe you. Okay, yeah. And you describe me.

So move the mic a little bit. As if you really need a reference at this point. In 2014, Rhett has, as we said, a mustache attached to a beard in two places on either side of his mouth. Yeah. And he's got a pretty long nose. I don't think much of that's gonna change in 10 years.

Are you assuming they're not gonna be able to... Like, your nose isn't gonna get shorter. They're not gonna be able to just search for pictures of, like, Rhett McLaughlin 2014. Why should they? I mean, they're listening to me. Okay, all right. Paint a picture, a mental picture.

At this point, Rhett still has two eyes. Whoa. Is that a prediction? Yeah. I'm implying that something's gonna happen. And his hair goes up and I see one,

I do see one wrinkle on your forehead. I'm just gonna say it. Really? Oh, when your eyebrows go up, it becomes two different. Yeah, a bunch. I'd call that a smile line.

I would call that a- It doesn't happen when I'm smiling. I'd call that a smile line i would call that a it doesn't happen when i'm smiling i call it an expression line i wouldn't call it a wrinkle um so i'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt there and um that's about it you're wearing headphones right now but you don't typically do that i'm i'm really good at making a time capsule a worthless time capsule. He's currently wearing headphones. Describe me. You have on glasses. They're a pair of glasses that you recently acquired,

I'd say in the past couple of months. We made a really big deal out about it on Good Mythical Morning. Glasses signify smart. Okay. And style. In the year 2014, glasses make you smarter. And you have,

but interestingly, Hipster. I'll just go ahead and say it. You have a hipster pair of glasses. You have a pair of glasses styled in like a 1950s manner, which is horn-rimmed a little bit, but also has a taste of modernity

in it. And they're pretty stylish. They're two-toned. They have like an ombre, like they've been dipped into the sun on the bottom but it's a subtle

color change. I picture some people sketching this right now. I don't know why. Spitting a lot of time on your glasses. Again, you might be able

to just Google the picture. Okay, an interesting thing. Spending a lot of time on your glasses. Again, you might be able to just Google a picture. Okay, an interesting thing. To support my commentary. An interesting thing though is the word hipster is still thrown around a lot. That's been happening

for the past six and a half years. Yeah, yeah. The word hipster. It's a little derogatory usually, but we will call ourselves that gladly.

But people use it derogatorily. But the people who do that don't really know what it means. Yeah, right. And neither do I, really. I don't have a beard. I'm drinking water out of a mug right now. Mugs are still in use. Are in use in 2014.

Seriously, from a fashion perspective. Okay, go ahead. I see, pull your hair up on your forehead. I'd say you have a little line there. Yeah, yeah, definitely in the middle. But nowhere else. Crow's feet? Nowhere else.

You look relatively young everywhere else. Your beard is strong. I mean, it's not there, but it wants to come out. It looks like the follicles are strong. Your eyes are blue. Probably going to stay the same. I'm hoping for that. And your hair is black, looks a little like,

or brown, dark brown, looks a little like Thelma from Scooby-Doo. But I can't really see that right now because you have headphones on. But from a fashion perspective, let's go a little serious here. I mean, you're wearing a college shirt with some ducks or something flying on it right now.

Seagulls, these are seagulls. This is fashionably questionable at this point. I got a compliment on this shirt tonight. Twice. From a fashion, I mean, you got skinny jeans. Yeah, I do. We still do, we do that. We're criticized in internet comments about that.

But skinny jeans are a thing that's happening. Amongst hipsters, let's be honest. I can even think, even now, when I think back 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, about how big jeans used to be. Going back 15 years, we had on jeans that my entire waist could fit in the knee easily, like JNCO jeans. You could wear a leg of jeans. And now we wear jeans that I really can't even get my legs in properly.

You know, it's really, I admit that it's pathetic and impractical, but I just, I'm a slave to the fads. See, you're self-conscious of it, but in 10 years, enough, it may have come back again. Is that enough time? It could be tights 10 years from now.

Or it could be loosest. It could be really loose. It could go back to that. But I think efficiency is important in the future. I believe that men and women all wear tights. So those of you who are listening in 2024 in your tights, aloha. That's a common greeting now for hello. No, not now. In 2024.

Right. But just to clarify, now it just makes now. In 2024. Right. But just to clarify, now it just makes me think of Hawaii. Right. It is distinctly Hawaiian to say aloha. In 2014. Prediction in 2024

will be the common world greeting. Skinny ties? Skinny ties are still in, but on the way out. I was actually just looking at my tie collection to make a decision about what we're going to wear to the streamies, which at the time we're recording.

What we're going to wear. What we have to think about. Yeah, I think I'm wearing a skinny tie. And I believe that is the correct choice. If you were a little fashion forward, and you're more fashion forward than I am, but if you were even more fashion forward than you are, you would have a short fat tie.

And I'm not blowing smoke. That's coming back. Skinny ties are still like, yeah, that's what they're selling, but I'm saying within 12 months. Fat, like that only comes to like halfway down the shirt? Shorter and fatter, yes. Like revealing the whole belt. Oh, yes, definitely.

And what are ties like in 2024? Bolos. In like rodeo communities, maybe. No, I think bolos are a common practice. Business affairs are lots of bolos. Everything fits very snug now. All the men have on bolos and tights. I'm still in the present.

Aloha. I'm not going to try to predict. I can't help. A time capsule, the point of a time capsule is not to see how off we are about the future. There are no rules to time capsules. Hats? Hats. I'm glad you asked this question because you may have noticed, those of you in the present 2014,

sorry, that I have taken a couple of pictures, I've been featured in a couple of videos via the Facebook and Instagram, that kind of thing, where I'm wearing a hat. Yes, I have a hat. You're dabbling in hatage.

Yeah, and I've never been a fan of hats, but I mean, I'm talking like a baseball hat. Well, that's because we're developing a mythical hat. You're dabbling in hattage. Yeah, and I've never been a fan of hats, but I mean, I'm talking like a baseball hat. Well, that's because we're developing a mythical hat. We are. That's a nice segue for an announcement. News break. In 2014, I think later this year, we will have unveiled the first mythical hat,

which 10 years from now will be all the rage. Yeah, right, of course. And we're not joking about the mythical hat. That's for real. Literally, that's why you've been wearing a hat. Well, so that you can, whenever we sell a hat, the first hat you wear won't be your own hat. Yeah, yeah.

Because that just. Yeah, Andrew from Tweak, who works with us on developing products, brought in some sample hats, and I tried on all of them, and I found one that I thought worked, and it definitely is a flat brim hat. It's a high crown flat brim, kind of a new, we call that new era style.

It's sort of an urban look. And that is what I'm sporting now and I've been criticized for it. Again, the same people who criticize you for skinny jeans will criticize you for the flat bill hats. They say it looks ridiculous and it may, but I think it looks better. It is a fashion state. It is what's in style now to wear a hat and don't bend the brim. Right.

And the part that covers your head must be tall. The crown is higher. That's called a high crown. I wore one of those sample hats home and my family all said I was wearing a rapper hat. Yeah, a rapper hat is another term. That's what my kids think of it. My daughter is 11. She will be 21 when this time capsule is opened.

She'll be of drinking age. No, but the drinking age will probably have changed. The drinking age in 2014 is 21 years old in America. Robots really suck in 2014. Oh, yeah. We would have, everyone thinks. We're so frustrated. The frustration surrounding robots in this current 2014 is palpable.

Well, I would say it's kind of under the surface, but whenever you get anyone talking about robots, they all agree robots suck. We watch YouTube videos. It's like breathing nastiness into someone's face, just saying robot. We watch YouTube videos of robots, but you know why we watch them?

To see the robots fall and fail. That's what we... Because there's robots in Japan that can run. Well, if you want to... I'm using quotes around run. Asimo will run a little bit. And maybe go up some stairs,

but he'll fall down, too. But he's not running to do anything. No, he's running to show you he can run. In 2024, I hope, I really hope... He's running to something. He's running to to do anything. No, he's running to show you he can run. In 2024, I hope, I really hope. He's running to something. He's running for a reason. He's running to get the door. Running to get your kid.

He's babysitting the children. He's running to catch a ball. Yeah, doing whatever Asimo does, or Mr. Robot in 2024. So robots suck currently. We're not happy at all with that. Remote-controlled cars have not changed a whole lot in the past 30 years i'm frustrated about that too yeah but not that much no my my kids have remote control cars and they are no different than the remote control cars i had when i was their age well i think

they've peaked uh i think by 20 you think they're the same? RC vehicles peaked. Okay. Okay? You're just like, okay, whatever. I mean, you could be right. They definitely have not changed. Wearable stuff. Google Glass is still like something that people talk about,

but nobody has it or uses it. No one that I know well. But we like to talk about that Google Glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, talking about it puts us in the future. Yeah. It makes us excited. Like, if you didn't have a podcast where you could make a time capsule and, like, you know, ramble on inanely like we are,

ramble on inanely like we are. What you would be doing in 2014 is talking about Google Glass, like just drop it, like mentioning it. Did you hear about Rob? I hear he's one of the guys that got the Google Glass. And we got our hands on this thing, and when it came here to our studio, for the Nerd vs. Geek rap battle,

like the team was passing it around and like using it for a second. Nobody could figure out how to use it. No, no. By the time it got to me, I didn't even put it on. You gave up before you even started. I wasn't even,

after watching other people on the Google Glass, I was like, I'm not even interested in trying it. And you'll notice that we say the Google Glass. We put a the in front of it in 2014. I did wear the Google Glass, and I took a video. That's how I said it. I took a video. It's like taking a picture, but it's a video.

And that means I recorded a video. And I actually voice commanded the video to begin recording and then was able to watch it back. I would say it was a thrilling experience. It was a one-time thing. I haven't been back to it. I mean, we had to give the Google Glass back. But that's where it is right now.

Having something around your eyes, like glasses or whatever, a monocle. Or a watch. Or like having something around your wrist that could be like, oh, this is an Apple watch or something. Well, interestingly, when we're recording this, next week is the rumored announcement of the iWatch. Not that it's going to be immediately available for sale, but that Apple is going to announce the iWatch. And I think a couple of other brands already have a smartwatch or whatever, but of course, Apple doing it is a bigger deal and everyone's excited about it. But it's the fact that we're going to have a watch that has the functionality and the technology of our phones currently this is an exciting idea in 2014

we're excited about this we're I mean I looked at the you know the the pictures the theoretical pictures of the iWatch and Immediately said yes, I will have one of these and you're willing to pay how much in 2014 dollars for it? They said it was going to be $300. I was thinking people will gladly pay $350 for it. Yeah, of course. And I don't even know what it will do.

I don't care what it will do. If it does half of what my phone does and it's on my wrist as a fashion device, I'll be pleased. We do have holograms in 2014. But, again,

I mean, it's... They did a Tupac hologram, like, two years ago at Coachella. And then they did a Michael Jackson hologram. At the Grammys, I think. And that's pretty much the extent of holograms.

So we're frustrated about that. Yeah, right. This, again, to me personally... If you can't make a good robot, at least make a good holographic robot. Yeah, I feel very similar about robots and holograms because these are things that have been in all of our movies, all of our sci-fi stories for so long.

But the only way we can experience a hologram is by being in a crowd and being at a certain angle. You know, what I'm talking about is a watch that makes a hologram. You know what I mean? Like a Star Wars situation. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or even just a hologram in one room in my home. I think the reason why this isn't gonna come to pass

in 10, 20, or 30 years is because it's not, it's an illusion. Well, so is a television screen. So it's for entertainment only. There's no other... See, I'm expressing the 2014 sentiment, the popular sentiment, at least from my camp. The popular

sentiment in my own brain. Holograms are not that appealing and therefore not as frustrating to not be that great because they just have novel entertainment value. So if you're laughing right now 10, 20, 30 years from now, it's because you experience holograms

in a way that enriches your life beyond frivolous entertainment. And I have no clue how you're doing it. Yeah, something you can't anticipate. I'm very envious of, I cannot anticipate. Well, I can anticipate one thing. Like physical relations with a hologram. Well, that's not exactly what I was thinking.

That is an interesting thought though. What I was thinking was- That's not a hologram. It was relational. It was Skype chat hologram, you know, Skype chat, hologram with someone that you love. Like we're a therapist. Yeah, because... Like therapy is expensive.

Yes. Holographic therapy, not as expensive. Okay. Video conferencing. You know, do you remember the other day when we were in that video conference in the room and they brought the two people in on the screens? Yeah. haven't talked about that since that happened the first time that's ever happened felt like the president you know what i mean well that was at google yeah i mean

we can say that that was yeah at the we were at the google youtube headquarters yeah conference room and they started googling in people. It was amazing. But in the future, 2024. He'd sit in a chair. Yeah, the dude's sitting in a chair. But that's what the movies tell you. But think about how. But it's got to be better than that. He didn't have the people on the screens in that meeting.

You know, I didn't take them seriously because they're on a screen. They're not in the room with us. But as soon as they're hologrammed, sitting right there across, just because I can put my face through their face and they don't know it, doesn't mean that I shouldn't listen to them.

Bob, I disagree with your point. I'm coming over there to put my face through your holographic face. I am facing you right now. No. And by facing you, I mean, I'm embedding my face in your face. That's a common insult in 2024,

is when you face someone who is a hologram. Put your face into their holographic face. Or just sit right where they are. Oh, that's even worse. I think you might get burnt. I am, it's not hot. You think hologram get burnt. I am, it's not hot. You think holograms are hot? I mean, maybe they are.

They're usually blue, so they're very cold. These are all things we currently think. I'm just being raw with y'all. 10, 20, 30 years from now, I know we sound stupid, but in 2014, we don't sound stupid at all. Yeah, we sound like prophets. No, we're just being honest. Yeah, right.

Well, I guess we are speculating about that. We have television screens at gas pumps. Yes, we do. And I filled up an hour ago, and I was done filling up, and it occurred to me, I haven't looked at this television screen the whole time I've been here. Oh, I've never looked at one of those. And I remember thinking as a youngster, one day there will be television screens on gas pumps,

and it will be amazing. And what did you think it would be, though? Like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air playing on there? Because I might watch it if that was the case. Yeah, I might just pull up a chair and spend 22 minutes in front of the gas pump. Well, they've got to keep the content short. Well, it was just an ad. Because they don't want to lock you in and be like-

It was ads. Yeah, yeah. This guy's sitting there watching Law & Order SVU. That is a show that's on right now. I think one of the things that the sci-fi movies of the 80s got right was that you're gonna be advertised to everywhere through screens. And what I'm saying is it's happening

and I'm already inoculated to it. Yeah, yeah. It definitely seemed, that still seems futuristic to us. Yeah, it's not, it's at one in every 40 gas station experiences. You'll get a... Yeah, there's like a person talking and ad going.

And it's very much like Back to the Future when there was a billboard that was a screen. And we were like, whoa, that's awesome. Yeah, I didn't even think about that. The billboards will be TV screens. Oh, yeah, we got that already. Yeah, we have that. So top that.

What's gonna be at your gas pump? You know? Well, and we also drive our own vehicles. Oh, yeah, yeah. We are in charge of where we go. Now, just in the past couple of years, the debate over self-driving cars has really started. Oh, yeah.

Emphasis on debate. Like, no one agrees whether it's actually going to happen. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The average person right now, if you just were to ask the average person, what do you think about self-driving cars? They'd be like, I don't trust them. I don't trust them.

Even though it is statistically proven already that the number of accidents will be dramatically reduced with self-driving cars. It doesn't, the facts don't matter. Facts don't matter to most people anyway. They probably still don't matter in 2024. The facts don't matter in 2014. The facts about self-driving cars don't matter to people

because everybody's scared of them and thinks it's going to be some sort of big brother thing where we're all going to be like wrecked into each other by a computer overlord. But they've just passed legislation in, I think it was the UK, basically saying that, you know, self-driving cars are going to be allowed

to go a certain amount above the speed limit when they, like anticipating that, yeah, they're going to be allowed to go a certain amount above the speed limit when they like anticipating that yeah they're going to be out there so i'm assuming about 2024 uh self-driving cars are normal you look over and there's a dude napping or texting because right now texting while driving big no-no when we did a whole video about this rightfully so yeah it's on par with drunk driving in our in our society but i'm assuming that you're texting and drinking and sleeping all at the same time while your car drives you around in 2024 but now what will happen is someone will do something you don't like and you'll look at

the person in the vehicle and you'll have anger towards them and sometimes you might yell at them sometimes they may yell back. And like, there'll be this exchange, which might involve like hand gestures. Road rage. Yeah, that happens today because as a result of us being in charge of our own vehicles. Because you know it's the loser's fault

when he pulls out in front of you. It's his fault, not his car's fault. Right, you've got a target for your, you can just take out your anger, your frustration on this person because they're culpable. Yeah. They're responsible. And typically what happens in that situation

is we extend the middle finger. It's called flipping the bird. I used to understand that as flicking the bird growing up in North Carolina as a child. You flick a crumb, you don't flick a bird. Well, you kind of flick it if you think about it, you're flicking it up there. I did learn as a teenager that it was flip the bird and that's what we call it typically today. Right. And we've all been agreement on that for many years, except for you. Welcome to that.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not flicking the bird. You know, at this point, I'm thinking a couple of thoughts about what this show, can I just step back for a second? Sure. And just make some observations about this time capsule show. I would like you to. First one is, I would love more than ever

for this to be a call-in show right now. Like coast to coast? Yeah, I would, I feel like- Why don't we do that? I feel like- I'm totally serious right now. I would like to, and this may be the birth of an idea, I just want to hear what America, what the world,

I want to hear what the world has to say right now about like everyone call in and tell us one thing to add to the audio time capsule. What a great idea. I would love that right now. Link occasionally has great ideas in 2024. I'm assuming he has them all the time in 2024. What a great idea. I would love that right now. Link occasionally has great ideas in 2014. I'm assuming he has them all the time in 2024. But you know what?

2014, we don't have technology. Do it. We cannot do a call-in show. Yeah, we could, we could. My second thing is, as I listen to myself now in 2014, or put myself in the seat of a listener in current times, not future times. Right in their hologram as it watches something.

I feel like this is potentially the lamest episode of Ear Biscuits ever because we're talking about things that everybody knows about. We're just saying things. It's like listening in on a conversation between two guys, and you're just, yeah. The reaction to everything is, yeah. That's why I'm doing slightly predictive things. But you're trying to mix it up? Yeah, mix it up a little bit.

Okay. Well, let's keep going. But another thing about the present is we recently both watched a movie called Her. It is... It stars a guy named... Antonio Banderas. It's a guy named Joaquin Phoenix, something I could not say for a long time. Joaquin is still alive 10 years from now, too, by the way.

He's a megastar. But anyway... Talented guy. A movie written and directed by Spike Jonze. We both absolutely love this movie. A lot of people did not. Talented guy. Movie written and directed by Spike Jonze. We both absolutely loved this movie. A lot of people did not, we acknowledge that, but we both loved it and it was fascinating. They remember her.

That's what I'm trying to tell you. 10 years from now, you just say, well there's a movie Her, don't you remember it? And they'll be like, yes. But you might not, okay, Her is all about, and I'm saying this for the sake of the people in 2014 that may have not seen the movie. Okay.

Joaquin Phoenix is. Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix rises from the ashes. We can say anything we want. They don't know. 20, 30 years from now, they may not know. The lead character falls in love with an operating system played by Scarlett Johansson.

It's her voice. Originally played by scarlett johansson is her voice originally played by an english actress and they redid the whole movie uh after they'd recorded everything with scarlett johansson's voice fun fact that's probably still true 10 years from now um anyway he has in he has a very uh um emotional emotionally significant relationship with this computer who, for all intents and purposes, is a person. They are not a person like a human, but they embody a personality.

And it's Siri to the max in a way that I do not believe will be the case in 2024. I I do not believe will be the case in 2024. I cannot believe that there will be not close. 10 years is not a long time. No, it's not, yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, when my daughter is 21 years old, do I want her to have a relationship, like a romantic relationship with an operating system?

More so than a boy? Maybe so, the more I think about it. Yeah, right. Yeah. But I'm still thinking about it. I still don't know. I still don't know. There's lots of question marks associated with that.

But my son can. Just kidding. But, I mean, so most of our relationships are limited to flesh and blood. We have no significant relationships with any digital entities. And there is no conversation about the nature of personhood when it comes to a digital entity, which was obviously one of the things. Yeah, you can think that that will happen. Well, of course, because there'll be a point in which.

A consciousness. If there is an artificial intelligence. I'm not saying a soul, but a consciousness. Right, but there are many people who would say that the soul is the consciousness. Yes, they would. And that is what defines soul, is what some people would say. Now, in 2024, we're probably having this debate.

What we're talking about is probably an interesting ethics question in every introductory ethics class. But how far are we from the her situation? I don't know, probably another, maybe another 10 years, maybe 2034. There are significant relationships with digital entities. And we don't- A digital president, maybe.

Hmm, that's, boy. I'd say that's 2044, digital president, maybe? Hmm, that's, boy. I'd say that's 2044. Digital president. Digital president. Well, what about digital dead relative? Are you voting for the president? Are you voting for the digital president? First digital president ever.

Digital dead relative. So when you die, I mean, what we're hopeful about is not that we get to like live forever, like cryogenically or, you know, discover the Pan's Labyrinth or whatever leads to eternity. The Fountain of Youth.

Yeah, the Fountain of Youth, Tree of Life maybe. I just got Pan's Labyrinth and Fountain of Youth confused. You discovered the Pan's Labyrinth. Pan's Labyrinth and Fountain of Youth confused. You discovered the Pan's Labyrinth. Pan's Labyrinth is a movie. It's not Labyrinth starring David Bowie.

But what I want is- But Pan's Labyrinth, a later movie. What I do think is feasible is that we will have digital entities of ourselves so that when we pass away, they can live on for the sake of our relatives. So operating systems will not just be fabricated. They will be simulations of dead relatives. And how does that idea seem to you as a 2014 man? It seems sad because I don't experience it.

I'm just doing it for my loved ones to continue to relate to me. Would they even want to? But if the contents of your brain could be offloaded onto another device, would that be a conscience? Would that be your conscience that continued to experience things,

even though the real you had passed on? I mean, you think about it. Again, if we had call-ins at this point and someone called in who knew about this stuff, they could probably say something. Think about it for a second. If you take a ship, a boat, and you take all the cargo,

and over time, that boat breaks down, and you replace each piece of wood, and after a hundred years, you've replaced that boat with a completely new boat, is it still the boat, or is it the new pieces of wood that make the boat?

You know, every nine years or so, every one of your cells in your body is replaced right so are you still the same you is you being offloaded to a hard drive no longer you no it is not me it's digital link digital link. Because it's the rate of change of the planks of the boat. What if this career continues for the next? If all the planks change at once, it's a different boat. Okay. But if the percentage of planks that swap at any one point is lower than 10% of the total boat plankage, then it keeps its boatness intact. What if you sit in someone's hologram?

Do you become them? No, you just get incinerated because those things are hot. They're blue, but they're hot. Like the hot, you know, blue is the hottest color. Here's another question. Blue is the hottest color at here's here's another question is the hottest part of the flame right now we're a comedic duo we have been for quite a quite some time uh we anticipate that this will continue indefinitely at least 10 years um and uh but is there a point in which the technology is at a place where we could just create a digital retinolink and they could do all the work?

Again, I think— If they could come up with the ideas. I think this is 100-year material. This is not 10-year material. Yeah, 100 years, man. You're into just thinking it happens territory. Just thinking it happens territory. You know, no differentiation, unless of course there's some sort of cataclysmic event

that just puts all technology at a halt, then all bets are off. Okay. Credit cards. We still use credit cards. I've got one. I've got a stack of them. A few in my pocket right now.

I've got a stack of them in my pocket. Debit, credit, all different types, business, personal, and they're all just plastic cards. You remember them, future people. With a magnetic strip on them that gets worn off. Over time. And then when it gets worn off, the people that you give them to at the stores,

we go to stores to buy things, they have to type in the number in this little contraption that uses a phone line, a landline to make a call to some server somewhere to like let the transaction go through. That's how credit cards work. Now, there are some places that have a little device that plugs into an iPad or iPhone that is connected to a digital network, and it doesn't work through a phone line.

But either way, it still is this piece of plastic that we take out and give to someone. Clearly, that will not be happening 10 years from now. But what will it be? Is it going to be the dreaded chip in the body? I don't think so. I mean, in the next few years, it will be in your phone. It's just going to be in whatever digital wearable tech that you have.

Like an Apple Pay thing or a Google Wallet. On your phone or on your glasses, on your watch. Yeah, it'll be a Bluetooth. It'll be a short-range transfer of the series of numbers associated with your credit card. But for right now, we still sit on a stack of plastic that whenever we purchase anything, you got to fumble it out and find the right one you want to use. And some people say, I don't use that one with that logo. And then you got to get the other one with the other logo.

And then in certain places over a certain amount, you have to sign a sheet of, you use an ink pen. I think we're into some good stuff right now, because this is going to seem nutso in the not too far future. You buy something. Yeah, we give you a piece of plastic. Then you give it back to us after you call the phone, you use the phone on some machine, you give it back to us,

and then along with a sheet of paper and an ink pen, an actual pen that you write with, you hold it in your hand and you sign your name. But you sign your name on the back, and technically it's supposed to match the signature that you've written on the plastic card. And the way they know that it's you is if the signatures match, but no one in America, at least, ever checks it. And sometimes...

In Europe, they still do it for the most part. They ask you for your ID, which is another piece of plastic that says who you are. It's not your DNA signature. It's nothing physical about you. It's not your DNA signature. It's nothing physical about you. It's just a plastic card. It's a piece of plastic. But it has your picture on it. It's got your picture on it.

Yeah, you can make it in a 3D printer and it's like, you know, stop the presses. Oh, he is who he is because of this plastic card he's got with himself. What an idiotic concept that we are experiencing in 2014. Yeah, but I am starting to get perturbed when they give me the little sheet of paper and I have to sign it. I'm like, what's the meaning of this? Nothing.

It is meaningless, which is why it would be laughable. Or you can just reach in the other pocket and pull out wads of paper and coinage. You don't even have to write on it. And just hand them that. You don't have to write on anything. They still hand you something back, but you don't have to write on it.

There's no writing. Right. There's writing printed on the paper itself, which is made out of cotton, by the way. It's not even paper. It's made out of cotton. You can wash it in the washing machine. And you go to stores to buy things.

Right. I mean, I'm just getting to the point where if I want something, I'm going to go to Amazon. I'm going to use Amazon Prime because I don't have to pay for shipping. Oh, which brings up another interesting thing. We're right now talking about drones. Now, drones are really popular people use them uh it's you know it's the thing to put a little camera on a drone and get some video

footage it's like whoa did are you a helicopter pilot so no dude i just got a drone it's like really small i got it for 300 to put a gopro on it and then i just put it in the air and it's like i got a big jub or some sort of crazy helicopter, but for real, it's like $300, man. If it runs out of batteries, it has just enough battery to come back to me. Yeah, man. It won't even crash. Yeah, if it gets lost, it just comes back to where it launched. It's really cool.

It's like a smart drone. So that's the situation with drones now. I drink Red Bull. So that's the situation with drones now. I drink Red Bull. But what's being debated specifically now is Amazon and probably Google. Google, Amazon uses drones, but Google has this thing that looks like a winged, a white stealth fighter. Are you talking about 2014?

Yes. I'm talking about 2014, man. You haven't seen the Google Wing? It's their proposed drone. Yeah, it's their drone, and it looks like a stealth fighter. But none of these things are in use right now. I do want to clarify. Well, there's prototypes, but no, they're not in use.

But right now, my wife and I had a conversation the other day, and she was like, do you know that they're going to have these drones, and we'll order something from Amazon Prime, and it will show up in the front yard within 24 hours from a drone? And we had this conversation like, that won't happen because somebody might get hit with a propeller or something. A dog is going to get hit by a propeller. That'll never happen. But I have to believe it.

The drone will never happen because the dog will definitely get hit with a propeller. And that's how we think. But there's lots of people who think that there's something like fundamentally wrong, unconstitutional about the drones and they've got cameras on them and everybody, you know, you can't do anything in private anymore. That's a big deal. I think that that debate will be over in 10 years. Yeah. I mean, they probably said the same thing about Google Earth and said, well, there's cameras going all down the street and then it's published on the internet. And I didn't give any permission for that.

And people get fired from their jobs because of things they put on Facebook. Like there's, oh, did you hear about the teacher who got fired because she puts a personal picture of herself doing this on Facebook or whatever? I don't know. Like that happens, and people like to talk about it. Yeah. People like to talk about it. Did you hear about so-and-so who got fired because of their Facebook photo?

So there's that. People just not knowing how Facebook works and getting fired over it. Like, not knowing that someone else could see these things. Right. But talking about drones um you know i do think that most people in the in the distant past let's say the 80s would have just assumed by the year 2014 that when you looked up into the air you would see all these little planes going over, flying cars, you know?

Yeah, flying cars. And I do think that the combination of the major barrier to personal flight devices, besides the cost barrier, the price of the technology, is the traffic, right? Air traffic control. It's like, what are you supposed how, what are you supposed to do? How do you not just run into each other? There's no lanes. Where you put the yellow lines in the sky.

Right. But smart, smart driving, you know, self-driving takes care of that because a computer can think about a billion different things at once. Right. So once you have the, you have the drones are cheaper, large enough to hold a person, but small enough. But they got to hold on really tight.

And there's enough of them that they're not, the price point isn't too high. The point of entry isn't too high. And you combine that with smart driving. I think there will be just a lot of people flying all over the place but i don't think it's going to be a 2024 i think this is 2034 in 2024 the big news story is going to be the toddler who hitched a ride on a drone right oh did you went to the amazon headquarters little randy was found back at the Amazon warehouse. Yeah, yeah. In the lingerie section.

Right, exactly. He was buried in lingerie, and we asked him what had happened. He said, I just grabbed onto it. I grabbed Rome. I grabbed onto this flying machine. Boy, he has a good grip, though. Yeah. And he's known as the boy with the iron grip,

and he goes on to host game shows. Wow, okay. Maybe he should be a guest on game shows. No, he's like... Why would he be a good host? Hello, it's Randy. Did I say his name was Randy? I'm the kid who grabbed onto the drone.

The kid with the iron grip here. Back in what year? 2024. Okay, that's going to happen 10 years from now. I think that's probably going to happen next year. Yeah, drone stowaways. First, it'll be like a cat or a snake or something, and then it'll be a little toddler.

A snake. I can see that. Snake on a drone. Snakes on a plane. Snake on a drone. Snakes on a plane. Snake on a drone. It's not a feature film. It's a YouTube video. Speaking of which, Sharknado was big this year.

I haven't seen it yet. Well, Sharknado 2, to be more specific. Oh, really? Sharknado was big last year, or maybe the year before. Sharknado 2. Yeah, and this is the idea of a tornado, which is really a hurricane, picking up a bunch of sharks

and depositing them into cities. But it's intentionally, it was intentionally stupid even at the time, but it was embraced as awesome. Oh, yeah. And then celebrated with a second go-round. Which brings us to video entertainment, the way that we enjoy non-holograms.

We do enjoy 3D in the movie theater. Some people have it at home, but those people are few and far between. Yeah, even if you, I mean, when we went to Disneyland and they had the 3D shows, those were like, oh, whatever. Because now every blockbuster movie that's got any action or anything is 3D. And it's a mesmerizing 3D, by my standards, that Disneyland no longer meets.

So no one goes to those rides. And, of course, 10 years from now now those rides will not exist at disneyland oh yeah like a 3d ride what i got my television is 3d yeah right and i you know um we so we not all movies will be 3d but i mean that's that's the thing when it comes to movies and most of the reason that we go to the movies well there, there's twofold. In 2014, the movie is released in the theater first, right? That's when it's released in the theater. And then after a certain period of time, it's released on DVD. I don't know what the time is, probably like three months later, you can watch it on Netflix. Yeah, direct to some video streaming service.

And that's how we enjoy most of our movies. But everyone's like, the kids were gonna go watch a 3D movie. We're going to the theater. I think that my prediction is that the movie watching experience will be such at home, will be so comparable

or even better than what we would get in the theater now that the people will have had to upgrade what the theater provides in 2024. And I think that we're definitely in the realm of smell-o-vision. Don't laugh. You know, air being pumped, just like now that happened on the Disneyland stuff. When you do that certain ride, you smell certain things, and then they poke you in the back of the head through the seat,

and they shoot stuff out, and they sprinkle water on you. I definitely think all that's got to happen in the normal movie theater for people to go to the movies in 2024. Oh, I thought you were saying Smell-O-Vision is going to be in your home. It could probably be, yeah.

I think of the cartridges associated with this. I'm not willing to pay for the color cartridge in my inkjet printer. I'm definitely not paying for a refill on the Smell-O-Vision cartridges. I think it goes a long way, though. That have to go under that television? I think you will. How many different ingredients are pumped into those cartridges to produce everything from a fart to a daisy?

That's like a box of crayons, man. I mean, you mix and match. Once you smell Smell-O-Vision, Link, in your own home, you will think, where have you been all my life? And you will immediately sign up for the subscription service. There will be no, this is not worth it. I mean, they're printing chocolate now, man. I don't even have-

They're printing chocolate now. I don't even have DVR or TiVo. If I want to watch something on television, I actually, I still sit through commercials, which subsidize the production of television shows. You are behind the times. I know. You are in like 2009.

I know that, but television- This is 2014. Commercials still subsidize what's happening on television. That's still a thing. Because they haven't figured out how television shows can be subsidized otherwise. Of course, we've figured out how to subsidize the type of content that we do now,

but we can't do television-esque shows on YouTube that are as good as what you might see on like a Breaking Bad. Which I think is an interesting thing, and maybe an interesting way to close this thing down, is that we make YouTube videos, which people do enjoy on their televisions if they're a little more tech savvy, but in general, we still see YouTube

as a different entity from television, as a different entity from internet television, as a different entity from movies. Yeah. And YouTube is on my television as an app, but you don't sit down and enjoy YouTube. I might sit down and enjoy YouTube on my television while I wait for Christy to like get out of the bathroom and sit down so that we can watch something on Netflix or Amazon. Like a show, like a longer show.

Like, okay, for instance, a week ago or so, we had the Emmys, the television awards, right? And so the series that were up for best show or whatever, you know, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, these kinds of things. These are not things that people, these are things that people enjoy through services like Netflix. But, you know, tonight we went to a Streamy reception and there are shows that are being awarded things are just, are YouTube shows differently, different things like Good Mythical Morning. We didn't win anything, but they're just very different in the eye of the people who are entertained by them, the eyes of the public. Everybody says, oh, these things are merging, right?

YouTube and TV, they're just kind of becoming, it's all becoming one thing. But the best thing we can point to is that at the Video Music Awards, there was an internet category, which, explain that. Well, it is what you just said. People are considered, I think they call them

vlogging stars or something, I can't remember. But it's not video music. It's not a music video. Well, that's just the VMAs. There's all kinds of awards at that. No, that was the... Was it the People's Choice? No, it was the Teen Choice Awards. Oh, my bad.

Teen Choice Awards. Not the VMAs, yeah. Well, okay, that's a little bit better, but still, we know that they've merged because Teen Choice Awards now have internet celebrities as are like a part of the award ceremony. But they call them internet celebrities. And so my prediction is that

while I think that there will be just something distinctly different about sort of independent entertainment in the form of a service like YouTube, and then there will be studio-based. But it's not going to be, well, one is on this website and one is on my TV when I get home. I think that distinction is going away, but I don on my TV when I get home. It comes through. I think that distinction is going away, but I don't think and I don't want the distinction between independent minded or independently financed things. And then to be different from studio based things, network based things. That probably is not going to go away. Hmm. from studio-based things, network-based things.

That probably is not going to go away. And another thing in 2014, we just talked for an hour about stuff that if you're listening to it now, you already knew because you're living it right now. But if you're listening to this 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 100 years from now, your mind is increasingly blown with the mundane subject matters

that we've just got you to listen to for the past hour. And I thank you for that. And let me just say this to those of you listening 100 years from now, no doubt you are experiencing this not over the course of one hour. You are experiencing this as a download. In the blink of an eye. You were experiencing this as a download.

In the blink of an eye. That was immediately added to the information that is in your brain, that is both human and ceramic or something. Is this like standard download curriculum for all humans on the Earth planet? Wow, we've arrived. And I'm so horrible. This is the best time capsule.

Let me tell you something. What we are doing in the year 3014. No, 2114. Sorry, not a thousand years from now. Only a hundred years from now. Is almost pointless. Because a hundred years from now, not only will you be able to download information instantaneously like this podcast,

but you will be able to access all the information that has ever existed instantaneously. But you won't instantaneously know it. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. Your bionically supported brain will be able to instantly take all the data that's ever been created and synthesize it and experience it. And everyone will basically be exactly equal. So that's like inserting another plank on the boat. you know what I'm getting at? So what I'm getting at is every piece of media that we have made, are making, and will make will be instantaneously experienced by everyone at the same time by no effort at all. How does that make you feel?

Well, it's not the destination, it's the journey. That makes me sad. Yeah, it does not the destination, it's the journey. That makes me sad. Yeah, it does. You know what? And for those of you 100 years from now who've made the decision that you want to unplug from that, you don't want that to be your existence. Good for you. You want to disengage from the matrix.

Good for you, yes. We wish we could be there with you to join the rebels, to just be like, let's get back to humanity. Let's get back to processing information through sight and sound and smell and touch. I hope my seed makes that choice. Your seed? My progeny.

Okay. Yeah, and to our great great grandchildren who are listening to this my seed join the rebels because experiencing life through the five senses

is an amazing thing it doesn't need to go away you know what even though it means you're gonna lose the ability to process this or access this podcast at any moment in time

it is okay because you can access it in what is called a memory, which is in the natural mind. And that is a beautiful thing. Hashtag Ear Biscuits, let us know what you think about this episode. Maybe we'll get it trending in 2024. Hashtag Ear Biscuits. Is that a thing then? All right, guys, hear from us next week. hashtag your business is that a thing then? alright guys hear from us next week