Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Ep. 55 Lee Newton - Ear Biscuits

Episode Date: February 6, 2015

Co-host of popular news-based YouTube channel, Sourcefed, Lee Newton, joins Rhett & Link this week to discuss how a joke led to landing a spot in the Maxim Top 100, her lifetime struggle with potentially fatal heart-related health issues, and what happened when she completely and totally embarrassed herself in the middle of a Target. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. Joining us today at the round table of dim lighting is a hilarious YouTuber and comedian, Lee Newton. Of course, you know Lee as one of the co-hosts of the popular news and current event show on YouTube, SourceFed.

Hi, welcome back to SourceFed. I'm Lee Newton. And I'm Steve Zaragoza. Steve, I've had many heroes. Chris Farley, Lucille Ball, Anne Frank, Ralph Waldo Emerson, the cast of Heroes. Sure, of course. But a robber from Jacksonville, Florida might have to be added to my list. Why? A robber, or hero, robbed Jerome Barbecue last week and stole $4,000 worth of chicken, wings,

and fries from the restaurant. Now, sure, I know what you're thinking. Wait, a hero's a thief. Why are you guys praising him? But this is Farris. Keep up, jerks. Also, how did he do it and why? Now, we've always known Lee

as extremely funny, intelligent. We've enjoyed collaborating with her. She was a guest on the Mythical show, but we didn't really know her too well personally, and we definitely didn't know the backstory of the health problems that she has dealt with since she was a child. Yeah, I really appreciated her candor, and we got to a lot of good things.

In addition to that, we talked about homemade jams. Yeah. Her landing a spot on the Maxim Top 100, and I really enjoyed getting her perspective, very thoughtful on women in comedy. Yeah, and we also heard her story about her embarrassing herself in Target. Oh yeah.

We'd like to thank our sponsor Sherry's Berries for giving me a reason to eat berries again, namely because they're coated in chocolate, white, milk, or dark, also topped with chocolate chips, decorative swizzle. Swizzle. Or nuts. In the house. Basically the perfect delivery mechanism

for all of those things is a berry. And we got some of these for the crew here. And I will say that they broke them out and ate all of them before they told us that they had them. You didn't get one? I didn't get any. Okay. You got some?

Yeah. How many did you get? Three. I mean, what's three? They're huge berries, but I mean, I could have probably eaten seven. Did you not think that you needed to ask me? You know I like this kind of thing.

I assumed, you know, I can't keep track of everybody's berries. I'm getting a badge for myself. If you're one of the 99.3% of people who have yet to figure out where they're gonna get their sweetheart for Valentine's Day, we can make it easy for you. Go to berries.com, that's B-E-R-R-I-E-S.com.

Click on the microphone and type in our code, Rhett and Link, so they know we'll sent you. And if you use that code, you get a chance to double the berries for $10 more. I love the fact that they own the website berries.com. I mean, that's legitimizing to me. Wonder if they bought that from someone or if they were just like sitting on it a long time.

I mean, I don't care. What the more important message to me is that they own berries.com. And they're doing something with it. Their berries are covered in chocolate and goodness as a berry should be. Right, is the person who owns cantaloupe.com, are they doing something useful with it?

I don't know, I don't go there. Are they coating their cantaloupes in chocolate and swizzling nuts? Probably not, assortments start at $19.99 and you can get over a 40% savings off regular price. Thanks, Sherry's Berries. Okay, let's get into this Ear Biscuit with Lee Newton. I believe you will enjoy it as much as we did.

I believe you will enjoy it as much as we did. Okay, Lee, I've been stalking you on Twitter. On December 30th, you tweeted, just bought a Taylor Swift album at a Walmart. I am America. I am America. So I'm assuming that you were not around here if you were at a Walmart, because nobody goes to Walmart around here.

No, I was actually up north where home is, and I was on my way to home, and there was a Walmart, because again, there are no Walmarts in LA. Yeah. And I was there, and I bought a Taylor Swift album, because also, it was like $8.99. I can't fight that. Were you looking for a Walmart so that you could buy a Taylor Swift? If you want to know, I was looking for a Walmart so I could purchase jars because I make jam

for Christmas every year and Walmart has the best jar prices for jam. Everyone knows it. Of course. Like mason jars. Like mason jars for jam.

You make jam? I make jam. I do. So you go home to where? I go home to Yosemite. Well, a little town right outside of Yosemite, actually.

But I say Yosemite because no one knows where Coarse Gold is. Coarse Gold? Coemite because no one knows where Coarse Gold is. Coarse Gold? Coarse Gold. Coarse Gold. Coarse Gold. We found some gold, but it's coarse.

And that's exactly what it's like, is Coarse Gold. Like a mining town? It's a mining town. It is, and it still actually has weird little mining things that you can always find, and you can find mining holes, and you go there, and it's magical. But there's not a Walmart in Coarse Gold proper. God, no, no. There's a Walmart like in Fresno,

which is about an hour away from Corsegold. Okay, en route. So you stop there. I'm gonna get my mason jars on the way. I'm gonna get my mason jars so I can jam. And then you make the jam once you get back in the homestead. Yes, I mean, I make a lot of it at my home in LA,

but still there's stuff, you know, like I go up north before Christmas because I still very much love and adore my parents. Some people don't feel that way. About your parents? No, actually I think most people love and adore them. They're kind of one of those people that you

just, they're just the most delightful humans in the world and you just love them and I want to be around them all the time and I... Really? You do jam with them? I do. I would never live with them because I think I would drive them insane. But also, and they would too because they love elementary on CBS

and I can't get into it. Is the jam making a family affair? Or do you like, I'm going to make jam alone and give it to you guys? Three years ago, my father's the most impossible person to buy presents for ever because he's one of those that like if you want something

He gets it and that's what it is and he researches it. Well, he deserves it. He deserves it. He works hard He's a great guy. Everybody likes it So I last year like three years ago, I was like I'm gonna make jam for him I'm just gonna because he likes sweet things you ever made you know, never had you made stuff like yeah, I made food So, you know, it's a natural propensity towards women that we bake. But yeah, I'd made stuff and then I just decided to make them jam and then I turned out to be okay at it. It became a thing.

What kind of jam? Well, I have Auntie Lee's jam. The one that is really big is Razzmatazz. It's like a lemon raspberry jam. So you've branded it Auntie Lee's. Yes, I have 100% branded it now. And now the brother-in-law is like, I don't care what you get me, I just need jam.

It's that good. It's a thing. It's a thing now. So all types. All types. I got Razzmatazz, Blackberry Fields is another really big one, Strawberry Fields, but that's with a little bit of apple. There's a lot of different things. This last year I another really big one. Strawberry Fields, but that's with a little bit of apple. There's a lot of different things.

This last year I tried a Christmas one. It was cranberry and apple and a lot of stuff. Are you thinking about fallback career or something? I'm thinking Shark Tank, but maybe that's just me. Hey, sharks, I'm here for Christmas jam. But I just don't see it taking off much further than my father and brother-in-law's palette and actually everyone in my family because we're big sweet tooth people.

Do you have stickers? Auntie Lee's stickers? I do, in fact. That you print on an inkjet? I do, in fact. That is nice. But sometimes I hand write them because it's so much nicer.

Like to do a handwritten. Auntie Lee made this. Auntie Lee made this. Yay for you. It's good to be able to give a gift that is something that you've created. Yes. Especially if the people like it.

Yes, it's like a big deal. Because then- Yeah, that's like the perfect alignment for a great gift. Everyone can have a scarf, you know? Like it's just a thing. Right, my dad makes his own barbecue sauce. Rhett, I don't know if I told you this or you've had it, but it's a-

I've had it. It's a tomato- On chicken. Yeah, it's a chicken barbecue sauce, more than a pork, but you can put it on anything. It's a vinegary, but still tomatoey based thing, which is a very North Carolina type thing. Yeah, oh yeah.

No need to go into detail, except that at Christmas time, we all meet at his mom's house, Nana and Papa's house, have more people than ever this past Christmas and everyone's opening their gifts and then we finally get to a point where dad leaves the room and then he comes back and he's got these big jugs. Jugs. He's handing out jugs

and it's just like Costco sized. A bow on the jug? It's just Costco, no. Like a to and from sticker? You need a bow, you need a bow. You gotta gift-a-size it. No, no you don't. I guess once you taste it, you're happy, I guess.

Okay. It's his philosophy. But they're just reused ketchup, Costco sized bottles, like huge ones. But I don't get one because of the cross country track and everything. You don't want that vinegar sauce going around your suitcase. Here's the thing, my dad used to order barbecue sauce from a man in Mississippi that made it out of his basement

and it was like, and he recently, the old guy passed away apparently and my dad was like hoarding it. But that stuff is worth its weight in gold and he better ship it to you if it's good. I mean if you can put it on, I'm a big barbecue sauce on everything. I really like your dad. Maybe we work out a trade here. Yeah, I think that's like what, jam for sauce.

Yeah. I'm just saying. You know, a man who has that kind of discretion about barbecue sauce. And he does. You know. Dry rubs. What does your dad do? He's a pastor.

Really? Yes. Of what variety? It's actually a non-denominational church and it's up again in the mountain area. Does he have a beard? No, he has a mustache. He has a mustache.

He has only a mustache. He's always had a mustache. Hold on, I think I remember you showing us a picture of your dad's mustache one time. I might have, maybe. That's coming back to me. Maybe when we shot for the Mythical Show, it's something you don't have a conversation about. I think I remember you showing us a picture of your dad's mustache one time. I might have, maybe. That's coming back to me. Maybe when we shot for the Mythical show,

it's something you don't conversation. It's your home screen on your phone. Yes, it probably might have been my home screen on my beautiful parents is a home screen on my phone. So what, I mean, is this like a small valley church or a big church? Actually, to be honest, it's actually a pretty big church, especially for the area.

It's actually a very big church and they kinda the area. It's actually a very big church. And they're non-denominational and they're very open-loving. And they kind of specialize in people that are recovery. So addicts and all that, they have a lot of programs for those wonderful people. And they have big hearts in that sense. And so was this what he's done your entire life? So you grew up as a PK, they call it. I grew up as a PK, a pastor's kid, and

I think I was a big reason why he went back into the ministry because before me, he was doing just fine in real estate. Actually, more fine than I think he ever did in ministry as far as money-wise. But yeah, it was a big reason why he went back into the ministry

because I came along and I had a horrific heart problem and it kind of- Oh, come along meaning born. Born. Okay. Yeah, born. So he went into the ministry.

He wanted to be a minister and then he got caught up in life and then he was really good at real estate and then he was really good at business and he was making a lot of money. They lived in Oregon and him and my mom both you know he retired at mid-30s and and had a whole bunch of you know we had a goats and uh kind of like a big thing out and a big ranch out in

oregon and then and then i came along and company went under and i had a horrible heart problem and and so it was kind of a big reassess moment for him i think okay so let's horrible heart problem. And so it was kind of a big reassess moment for him, I think, that he decided. Okay, so let's, horrible heart moment. Uh, horrible heart moment. Let's get into this problem. It's my new TV show, horrible heart moment. That is what he said. So let's unpack it.

I mean, this must be big. Yeah. Sounds big. When was this discovered? This was discovered, I born uh to a midwife like i was born in a with a midwife because my mom had had both of her other kids older brother and sister in a hospital so you know low low chances of anything bad happening and uh it was also the 80s so they didn't know better um but uh they had me to a midwife and then I, um, and then I, 14 days into it, I think my father was like, something's wrong.

Like the kids blew and not responding, not responding in the way that she should. And my mother was like, she's perfect. Leave her alone. She's my baby because mothers do that. There's a lot of hormones. And, um, and then it was one of those things where he was like, no, we're going to the hospital. So it took me to the hospital at 14 days i had my first open heart surgery um because uh basically

what it is in a long term is my heart is backwards two out of the four chambers are missing the arctic arc was fused a lot of like a like valves and yada yada yada so you seem to have just lift list at least four four major major problems. Major things. Yes, yeah. Missing chambers, backwards. Missing chambers, backwards. Those are two big ones right there. Yeah, ventrile septal defect, atrial septal defect,

pulmonary stenosis, transposition of the great vessels is what the technical terms of it all are. But it basically means that missing valves, valves needing to be replaced, missing chambers, yada, yada. But the cool thing is, if all of that hadn't been, if I had just had one diagnosis, I would have been dead. If I had just had two of the diagnoses, I would have been dead.

But because I had multiple ones of them, they all kind of worked out. All the problems work together to make you viable. All the problems work together to make me alive for 14 days. Wow. So, yeah. So, I mean, you know, it's kind of a magical, beautiful thing. And so what did they do when they went in? So they went in, when I was a baby, they went in through my back because I was little and they can't go in through your front.

And so they basically, you know, patched up the holes in my heart. And then they reworked everything to where it's still backwards. It will always be backwards. It's just what it it is they can't flip it because that's apparently really dangerous um to flip a heart that's already connected to everything so rewired everything did a valve and then throughout my whole life i've had at two years i had another one it was more like 14 months i had another one and then seven, I had a really big one, which was replacing this valve and making sure everything is actually succinct and okay, because it was a heart growing and they needed to fix it.

And then at 13, I had another one. And there's a lot of different multiple things that go along with it. So you remember the seven-year-old one? I remember the seven-year-old one viciously. Yeah, but not like 13 months old. You would not remember that. No, I don't remember that. I remember being a sick kid. That's all I remember. So what were the symptoms as a four or five, six-year-old? Well, four, five, six-year-old, I would always be blue. So I always had oxygen deprivation. So I always had blue lips, face it was called they're called blue babies actually with people with heart problems and so I would

always have blue lips and people I was also very little I was so little I was 45 pounds at like five years old which is so small and people I just thought it was a genius one in reality like that two-year-old's brilliant she's five little blue really smart good god really smart. Good God, she's five. But yeah, it was always that. And I remember people would always pick me up. That was the biggest thing that I remember is that I don't think I walked anywhere for like ever because people just felt bad. You need to be carried.

Random strangers. My brother would always have me on his back. He was always giving me back rides because he just couldn't fathom the blue child walking. And so that was the biggest thing I remember about being sick. Also about having a make a wish and then turning to my mother and asking if I the blue child walking. And so that was the biggest thing I remember about being sick. Also about having a Make-A-Wish, and then turning to my mother and asking if I was gonna die. Oh my, oh hold on, back up a second.

I mean I remember a lot of stuff about being a sick kid. This was a touch and go. Yeah. We'll get into how touch and go it is at this point. What was your Make-A-Wish? Disneyland, I was five. I had siblings, Disneyland. But does Make-A-Wish, does that That was fine. I had siblings. Disneyland. But does, I mean, does Make-A-Wish, does that mean that like, okay, we don't know?

Yeah, it was before the seven-year-old, it was kind of one of those we don't know. It was very much a we don't know. We don't know whether or not, you know, I mean, there's strong chances. But you remember it dawning on you at Disney World, Disneyland. Yeah, because everyone was treating me so wonderfully. And I knew I was a sick kid, so it was like one of those, like, I remember turning and I had a Donald Duck in my hand. I turned and I was like, am I going to die?

And my mom was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I just remember the whole trip, like, literally, we'd be having so much fun and my siblings would be like, we're going to miss you. And it was so dark and so heavy. In hindsight, it's one of the funniest moments of my life because it's fantastic. What's your relationship with Disney at this point? At Disney at this point, it was just heavy. It was also like, let's go on the teacups.

They're like, can she go on the teacups? What about now? Let's go on the teacups. Can you watch it frozen? No, honestly, I mean, I can without the plot holes, but I can. Come on, Olaf gives the true love. He melts for her.

That's the true love. Clearly. Come on. Figure it out. um come on olaf gives the true love you know he melts for her that's the true love clearly come on yeah figure it out but yeah i mean i can do i mean actually recently was talking about going to disneyland again because when i went when i was younger it was like a kind of dark it was like one of those like i don't think i like this i have bad memories attached to this magical wonderful place but now it's different i think because another surgery at 13 and was that the final one no i'll have to have open heart surgeries my whole life it's like a car it's like a you know like you go in and you replace the things that are in there and so i mean there's valves the good

thing is is my one when i was 13 was supposed to last like maybe six to eight years and now it has lasted 16 so it's kind of like you know that in it of itself is a miracle is this like a pig valve situation it is it's a bovine valve actually oh you got bovine bovine valve i got bovine valve i got cortex i got wire in the chest i got a 37 year old male artery i got all of of it. I got all the good stuff. Yeah. So you got a little, another person in there. I got a whole bunch of people in there. You got an animal. I got a million people's blood.

Bionics. I can't even count how many people's blood I have in there. So what, okay, so what is the day to day with this condition? Is this the kind of thing that's like, I can't get too excited because I might have a heart attack? You know. I can't do this.

No, and I think so much of it is mind over matter. It really is because I've been to sick groups with people with my condition, and I'm like, oh, God, I am not these people. I am so far beyond that. And a lot of that was good parenting, honestly, was my parents going like, I'm going to run to the river. And they're like, great, as they're panicking behind to see if I'm OK. But never once did they ever say I couldn't do anything.

Like, honestly, ever. It was one of those things. I remember there was one field trip I couldn't go on because the elevation was too high. And they were like, we just can't. Like, you're a liability. We can't do it. I'm like, my school wouldn't let me. And my parents were like, we'll take her.

We'll make sure she's OK. But in reality, I should never have gone up that high in elevation. And even now, So you can't fly? No, I can absolutely fly. But it's just like walking. So I could never do Everest.

I know that now in my heart. Just because you're gonna get too winded. Just because it's gonna be too winded. Not enough oxygen in your blood. But most people can't do Everest. Like most people, you know, like if you have any.

I cannot. You cannot, yeah. I'm just gonna go on a ride. I tried, tried. Got to base camp and turned back. Base camp, turned back turn back i mean there's a dead zone like if something's called a dead zone i don't aspire to go there yeah exactly so no i mean there's things in that sense but a lot of it is just me going no i can do this i know i can like and pushing yourself and knowing that you're gonna be okay and i have faith that I'm going to be okay.

And I am a really good governor of myself. Like I've never, you know, again, marathon, not going to happen for me. I think I could absolutely if I tried and if I trained and if I really felt comfortable with it, but that is just nothing I never aspire to do. How do you know when it's time for another surgery? What are the signs? That's the dilemma is that I go every six months, I get checked out, and they'll just say, you know, there's like valves that are like thickening and closing.

And so they have to worry about that. And then there's like things that the shunts that are leaking and they have to, you know, kind of do. They do a million and a half tests on you to see, you know, if this is OK, if that's OK. And then they just kind of deduct from there. The cool thing about it is that I have a killer surgeon. A killer, killer surgeon. He's like, you know, top three in the world. Interesting choice of words there.

What? Surgeon? Killer surgeon? Killer surgeon. Killer surgeon. Well, I just remember vividly when I was seven, he looked like he, I think he came off a ski trip when I was rushing to surgery.

He had on goggles? Yeah, he was just like, he's this Australian guy that just came off a ski trip and I was like, how is this male model my surgeon? That doesn't feel right at all. But apparently he's a big deal. So you seemed to describe you being born and that happening as a real turning point in your dad's life.

I think so, yeah. or your family's life, and him beginning to be a pastor again. I'm curious, what's been your source of strength and coping mechanism? I mean, there was no turning point, that was the beginning of your life, but I'm curious if it sounds like that you have a real gift

for sense of humor, I mean, obviously in general, but associated with this, did you always deal with it with a sense of humor? Is that something you developed later as a seven, as a 13 year old, were you able to laugh at this? Even now, I would imagine it's difficult. No, honestly, it's not. It's kind of like the hand that you're dealt.

You kind of just, I mean, you know, there are so many worse things that I could have, that could have happened in my life. But I do, I think I made the decision. I actually remember making the decision to laugh it off, to like be, it was in the hospital and my mother was actually there and she says now, like she remembers the moment that it happened. There was this girl next to me and she was whining to the nurses she was just whining and complaining the whole time and I made the I made a joke like I was joking around with the nurses and they loved

me and they it was more attention it was more like it was a happier environment because I was joking around about stuff and I remember deciding from that moment that I was like oh this can't be something serious in my life like this can't be the was like, oh, this can't be something serious in my life. Like this can't be the end all be all. Like it can't be something that takes everything over. It can't define you. It can't define you. It really can't.

It can define you in a way that you, that it propels you. But it can't like do anything else than that. And I remember making a cognitive choice of just being like, this is so much easier. It's so much easier to laugh about this. It's so much easier to just joke about all this and find a sense of humor in it. It sounds like you had this instinct for humor as well. Were you always the funny girl? I was.

A big part of it was because I was, like, the funny girl. And I was always the chunky girl, too. So that was hand in hand. That goes hand in hand. But, yeah, I was always the weird, I was always the weird class clown in high school. Just the weird kid because it's so much easier. And when did you start funneling that into entertaining people? I mean, honestly, as soon as I could.

As soon as I could, I started. I mean, I knew I wanted to be an actor pretty much like at a child level, child age. I was like, I want to do this. I want to, however this can happen, however laughter can happen, and I can get paid for it. I want to do that. So then I, you know, I did stand up for a couple of years and I really liked it, but I didn't like the scene of it. And I, it was basically. In like, in like Yosemite Valley?

In Yosemite Valley. No, I decided I I was gonna move out to LA my brother had moved to LA and he was he's an entertainer as well and he had moved to LA

musician right he's a musician yeah and he's a he's a really good actor too but he is an incredible musician and he has taken that road and that road has taken him

and so it's yeah he moved out here and I was like well he's out there and I can go out there with him and then and then I moved out to L.A.

At what stage? Are we talking out of high school? We're talking like 18, out of high school. Right out of high school, I was like, I know I want to go out there and try it and do it. And then I went to community college in Pasadena. Had crazy theater directors that led me in really great ways because they were actually working actors, which is a fascinating thing to me that I had a teacher that was a real working actor and being like, instead of like, art, everybody.

And you're like, you're in Cal State Northridge. So I had these amazing teachers. Like I watch you on General Hospital and then you come in here and- Yeah, I've seen you in Top Gun and now you're gonna come here. Oh, Top Gun. Oh yeah, he was a big deal.

He was like one person in Top Gun, but he said that paid for multiple homes. And I was like, man, that's all it takes in the 80s. Yeah, Top Gun paid well. His one paid well movie. But yeah, so it was like this crazy old man that reminded me of the dude from Big Lebowski that was a big hand in what actually made me go out and do stand up and do that. Because he was just like, he would always be like, you know, you're funny.

That's not a thing that happens with women. do it and you just be like all right like as misogynistic as it was he was not wrong so why why why is that i don't know i mean you know it's actually a difficult world i think for women it's just one of those things where there's multiple facets coming at you of it. I've been in the writing room with men where you say one idea and no one listens to you. Someone says the exact same idea and they're like, good job, bro. And you're like, F you. Like, eat it, you know?

So I've been in those rooms too. And I've also been in the weird thing where there's constantly, if we're going to get really podium about it there's an intense sexualization of women and so immediately i'm not funny if i'm pretty i'm not funny if i'm remotely attractive or if i am what's wrong with me like where did it come from i remember sitting in a group of girls like actual comedian girls that i surround myself with that are my friends and we went around the circle and we're like what's wrong with you and it literally was a list of like, well, I used to be a fat girl. Like I had issues with my father. It was like these things that we were all laughing about. But it was also a weird thing of like because we had to like push through

and find this personality. And it's not saying that these like amazing model type people can't be funny. It's just there's – it doesn't happen that often because they're sexualized immediately and they don't need to. And, you know, it's just a weird thing that I find that is actually very, very difficult because, you know, even Tina Fey. It's like, well, let's see her be sexy. And you're like, does she have to be? Like, do we have to boil it down? Like, Amy Poehler, oh, she's hideous without makeup.

And you're like, yeah, everyone is. We're all atrocious without makeup. Like, we all look different. So it's just that weird thing that I think from day one, people tiptoe around it.

It's getting better. I do think it's getting better. It's getting more of an industry. I think it's fascinating when people are like, wow, women are really coming out in comedy, huh?

And you're like, actually, Lucille Ball changed the entire freaking television network. Good point. But, but sure, yeah, women are coming, Melissa McCarthy network. Good point. But sure, yeah. Melissa McCarthy's amazing.

It's a weird thing where you go like, this woman single-handedly changed the way we film television. But, you know. Are you saying that a lot of the most successful female comedians have been damaged in some way or they've had to overcome something. I don't think so. I think they've had to make a choice.

I do think that they've had to make a choice of that road to go down. I think it's a weird thing. Like you have the option where it's like in order to choose comedy, it's kind of a hard road. Like it's kind of one of those things of like, no, I want to do this because I love it

because it's funny. And like, sure, like Amy Schumer is beautiful. She's she's a beautiful girl but she made the choice to be like I'm gonna be this brash out there person I think it is a choice I think it's one of those things that it's not because it's like well you know they're funny so just like let them go it's like for a woman it tends to be a choice it tends to be a choice of not being funny but like really deciding like no I'm gonna be a comedy no I'm going to be a comedy girl I'm going to be this is what I'm going to be and it's okay that everyone's going to try and sexualize me or they're going to try and not give me a role because I'm too unattractive or I'm too

this or too that well it seems like you know you were dealing with this in the comedy world yes and I want to connect the dots but I can't resist the fast forward to, well, then you enter the internet world where it's the same story, but maybe even more acidic. Because there's comments. Right. Yeah. No, I mean, it's the same, and I think it'll always be the same world. I think it really will. I think the internet is more heightened versions of it because people can get behind a keyboard

and type things out, and I've noticed that a lot. The good thing about the internet is that there's a community of everyone. So there are beautiful young women that you see that see you being you and it's really cool. And they go, oh, this person has a personality and maybe I can too.

And, you know, like, or this person isn't, you know, fixated on this or that different thing about themselves. You don't have to check as many boxes of a gatekeeper fixated on this or that different thing about themself. You don't have to check as many boxes of a gatekeeper to be your true self and to find other people who are being true to themselves as an audience. And it's nice, it's also, I don't know, I would have loved, growing up,

the people that I latched onto, it was always the weirdos. It was always these weird, wonderful women that those were who I latched on to, it was always the weirdos. It was always these weird, wonderful women that like, you know, those were who I latched on to because I was like, that's me. Are you thinking about someone in particular? Well, I was a big Gilda Radner fan. I was a huge Gilda Radner fan and she was just, she was weird and she was adorable.

Like on SNL? SNL, like SNL and also just like in general, like any interview I've seen them all, like I loved her, but she was such a weirdo and I would just, I remember just being like, oh, I'm okay. Like I am okay being a weirdo.

It's not like anything else. Like you can be goofy and weird and that's totally okay and that was like one of those things. I mean, Amy Poehler is a big one too. Sherry Oteri, like obviously on SNL too, but there are those big people that you grew up with

that you're like, oh, that's totally okay. Like it gives you that release of like when you're a young girl growing up being like, oh, there's plenty, there's dozens of us. Right. So you get to LA, you're doing the community college thing. Yes. And you are trying to find roles, going to auditions.

Like, what's the story? I mean, well, the story was I was goofy. I did a whole bunch of theater at the community college and then I had a teacher that was like, that big Lebowski dude, he was like, you need to do stand up. He was like, I need you to write me like a seven minute set of stand up.

And I was like, I don't know how to do that. And he was like, do it. And so I did that and then he actually was the one that booked me like a million, my teacher booked me a million different gigs. Really? Yeah, doing standup. He's a magic, like it was one of those big people in my life.

Like that was my goodwill hunting everybody. That was my, you know what I mean? Like those are those people in your life that you go, oh, that's a good teacher. That's a teacher. Take me to the first standup because that sounds terrifying. It was terrifying. It was terrifying.

It was terrifying. It was in this stupid little coffee shop in Pasadena. And I remember doing it and being like, I don't hate this. Like, I don't. I did it. And I was just like, and then I remember a big part of it was actually like being able to like mess with the crowd and talk with the crowd and interact with the crowd. And I was like, oh, I really don't hate this on any level.

And then I decided to keep doing it and then did you know different things I went to the ice house I did all these different little things I didn't take it as far as Hollywood I did like college stuff and then I went I decided to keep going and then it was just a really acerbic uh it's a kind of thing that I was just like I don't know if I want to necessarily be in this comedy world of really angry people that are very upset that they didn't get to do a set on Leno. Was that, you mean the people that you had to hang out with? And I mean, it's a tough world for anyone because, again, it's just you. It's just you putting forward your stuff you

hoping that people pick it up it depends it's such a weird thing because there's rooms are different every night people are different every night it's and especially for comedy you're like i just want to make people laugh like so is that do that is that when you switched to more of an improv lane yeah it was more i and then i'd always heard i grew up learning the groundlings and knowing about groundlings and everyone that i'd loved had been a part of the Groundlings. So Sherry O'Terry, Melissa McCarthy, and, you know, like all these wonderful, amazing, Kristen Wiig. These wonderful, amazing women had been a part of it. And so I was like, I have to give this a whirl.

So I auditioned for it and then got into the classes. And it's a huge, long process. Yeah, there's a whole system, right? Yes and it's a huge long process. Yeah, there's a whole system, right? Yes, there's a whole system, it's all hierarchy, it's all crazy and again, it's all comedy so it shouldn't be that way. But you start, I mean, you start, I've never done it and I've just kind of heard that there's,

you take classes, then you move to a team where you're performing but then there to a team where you're performing but then there's the hierarchy that you're talking about is different teams that perform on different nights

or different times that are more high profile. That's more the UCB the groundlings is like you take a class you wait

and then you take another class and if you pass that class you get to go into this writing lab and if you pass a writing lab if you don't pass a writing lab you're done with the program like you cut from the whole program completely and then if you do writing lab so it's all it's a sudden death process it's a sudden death process every point even when you get into the pinnacle of the school which is sunday company which is every single week you are writing um monday tuesday

wednesday wednesday you pitch thursday you decide what goes in the show Friday you're getting costumes, Saturday you rehearse Sunday it's up, it's live It's a brand new show every single week And I did that for a year and a half in this last year And it was a year and a half of my life where I probably Pitched over 2,000 sketches Wow Over and over again, probably performed about

I know I performed about 230 Or 232 is my final number of like how many Sketches I performed which 230 or 232 is my final number of like how many sketches I performed which is insane um and you just go and you do this brand new show every single week and even in that they vote on you every six months like why don't you stay in and again at the end of the day it's like it's comedy you know like it's J.J. Abrams didn't pass the program so you know because he's not a good writer like I was like, what? Like, well, that might have been a mistake. So there's people along the way

that don't even get into the program that you're like, Sweet D from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, who I think is phenomenal, Caitlin Olsen, she made one term in Sunday Company, and I was like, I don't know how that is a thing. Like, I don't know. But you made it. I made it all the way through.

So you're fresh off of coming all the way through the process. All the way through the process. A two and a half year process? Well, in total of my life, it was a six year process from when I started. I know, I should have a doctorate. So then where does it end up? Yeah, what's supposed to be the... The goal is that you get into the main company groundlings.

The goal is that. But there's a lot of people that get cut along the way. I was like one of those people that happened to, where it was just like, you know, thank you so much for the year and a half like we don't see a place for you in the main company grounding and you're like okay great we move on how does that i mean is that a dramatic it is in your life because what is it what is that last moment is it does it come down to one performance and then you get a report card no you would think it would how does it work how did it work for you specifically?

It worked for me specifically, I did a year and a half of stuff. I did a year and a half of crazy madness. I grew a lot. I had these phenomenal teachers that really shaped me along the way. One of them was very akin to J.K. Simmons' role in Whiplash. She is intense.

She's a comedy Nazi, but she made everyone magnificent and fantastic. And like, it was a weird moment when I was like, when she was giving someone attitude and she was like, name a person that you like that's from this school. I've taught them. And I was like, she's not wrong. You know? She gave that speech. She's like, Will Ferrell taught him.

And you're like, yeah, that's very fair. You know, so it's all those people that you go well i can't deny this woman's 28 years of comedy knowledge right um and you paid it to go through this yes you do i mean it's actually when you in hindsight whenever you're explaining it to anyone else in the world they're like why why would you do this but at the end of the day you perform every week on a stage that like your favorite people have performed on like i've touched the same areas that melissa mccarthy and kristen wigg and like jim rash and all these like will ferrell take it back to like john lovett's phil hartman like all these people there's some

insane ethereal amazing that you just go i love this you're a part of something a legacy something a legacy but then it comes down to a decision. Yeah, and that's not even yours. And how does that work? I think it's, I mean, it's all very Illuminati. I mean, are you locked in a cell and they slide something under the gate? Well, it's basically they all go in a room and they vote and see if that person goes on

to the main company, if they don't. And what would that mean? Being a part of the main company, how would that change your life? You know, I think it used to mean a lot more. I think it would normally change people's lives because it was a bigger deal. Like it was one of those things where it was like,

you know, you got on the wall and, you know, Lisa Kudrow and Kathy Griffin, both, you know, Groundlings alum. And so they got on the wall and then they're like, oh, well, the main company Groundlings, great. Like give her a role on this and fantastic. And they move on but now it's just a different world it's just a different like people are there a lot longer and staying a lot and it's just a different thing for me it was like a hard blow of like you know i was disappointed i was very

disappointed i didn't make it because it's you're always going up to like an end goal of something but immediately right afterwards I realized the people in my company that had been cut from the program as well were like these amazing people that I was like oh I'd rather be in this like when I look back at like who has been there along the way but okay but there's that moment I think it's it's a system that most people can't relate to, but I think what we can all relate to is that moment of decision where you were told. Was it a person who told you?

Yeah, it was a director that told me, like, the vote didn't go your way. And you go, okay, but in all fairness, I had been to Burning Man, had gotten my tarot cards read, and it said in my tarot cards that it wasn't going to go my way. Are you serious? I'm dead serious. Okay.

I'm dead serious. I am dead serious, actually. So that was your response. But it was a guy in a bathrobe that was reading my tarot. Like, I couldn't. We're in the middle of the desert, and he's in a bathrobe reading my tarot cards. I can't, you know, he's eating a chewy granola bar. I don't know.

But see, so you were semi-prepared for the moment. I was't, you know, he's eating a chewy granola bar. I don't know. So you were semi-prepared for the moment. I was semi-prepared for the moment because of the Tower of Terror card that was. But see, even, I think that's the beauty of it. Even right now you exhibit it is the humor as an ability to process disappointment. Yeah. I mean, you're telling us that every six months

you're having an experience like that where a guy in a bathrobe or a medical gown or whatever doctors wear these days. I don't think they wear the medical gowns. I don't think they wear bathrobes either actually. Or tarot cards. They call them scrubs, Link. Scrubs, thank you.

And you're having to give that response. I mean, I can make the argument that you're conditioned on a heart level, getting a little cheesy here, to dominate in this atmosphere, in the world of entertainment, because everyone talks about it, it's a series of rejections until you get what you want. Yeah, it really is, yeah, it really is.

Or you get a little bit, or do you even want, life is a series of rejections until you get what you want. It really is, it's not just this industry because it's every industry, it's just, Or is it even about getting what you want? Or is it even more about not getting what you want? Life is a series of not getting what you want. That's a little Johnny Cash, but.

We'll write that song later. Now, I can't help but think that the, your transition to the internet and the success of SourceFed also makes that a little easier to take. Yeah, I think so. Because you know, not that it's necessarily a safety net, I don't wanna use the wrong analogy, but it wasn't, you didn't have all your hopes

tied up in that, right? No, I didn't. Because you were already doing something that was incredibly awesome and relevant. And is also my, you know, it's like, when you get to create, you know, it's like you get to create what you say. That's a really nice thing being a key master it's a beautiful thing being like i'm the master

of my domain like i know what the voice is that i'm putting out into the world i don't have to worry about anyone else writing stuff for me i don't have to worry about anything and that's a beautiful thing so i think it did help a lot in that sense where i just go well you know like we shake it off and move on and I'm still doing what I love, still doing what I want to do in this world. Shake it off, you just quoted your Walmart CD. I did, also Mariah Carey. How did you see the SourceFed opportunity

when it came about and how did that happen? Honestly, it was such a random thing it was i i didn't on it i honestly had no idea i had no idea about the internet i had no i mean i knew about the internet because i uh aol'd a lot but uh but i didn't know like it was just one of those things that i had uh i had an agent at the time that was like hey here's this thing but the good news is you get to write your own stuff, and what do you think? And I went into some weird hole-in-the-wall audition place, and I remember they were also auditioning models that day,

but not for SourceFood, for something else, and I just remember walking and going, I'm in the wrong place. Like, I don't think I'm in the right place here. And it was just, we got pop culture news things that we had to give our own opinions on, and I had no idea who Philip DeFranco it was phil in the room at this point no i was just the producers and it was actually i remember the person that put me at most age was danny rosenberg like she's amazing and she works for phil and she's at the offices all the time and she laughed

and i remember being like oh thank god like there's someone laughing here because it was a hard room it was actually a kind of a difficult room and then you're with like all these dudes and joe was one of those that was like you know he comes off so intense at first but i was just like you were auditioning for joe i was auditioning with joe with joe i auditioned with joe and i auditioned with steve and i auditioned with elliot as well so they were already sort of in they were i don't know if they were no she was saying they were they were all it was all it were all. It was all just in together. And I remember Joe came off really intense at first and I was like, no, I'm gonna make this kid my friend. And I like immediately just started being very lovey to him. And he, you know, melted like a stick of butter. And it was just one of those very, I don't know. It was just I remember ranting about pop culture things and then not thinking about it again until they called. Like not even thinking, it was just one of those like,

well, I'm in a hole in the wall, like once again, a hole in the wall where I get to do this. I do remember getting really excited about having my own opinion about something and being able to put that straight forward. And then it was, I mean, I guess the rest is history. You got through the gauntlet and you became one of the main hosts.

But it was a crash course in... In internet. Yeah, in internet. Yeah. Yeah, so what was that like? What was that process of, okay, I'm on this thing, if you hadn't been watching YouTube videos,

you didn't know anything about the world and all of a sudden you're the face of a very popular thing. Yeah, I mean that was, honestly, it was one of those, like, I had no idea what I was getting into. I had no idea what I was getting into. I had no idea what I was getting into. I remember the first week Elliot Morgan made me sign up for Twitter

because I was like, what's Twitter? And he was like, good God, woman. Like, so he made my Twitter name. He made my Twitter, like, handle. He set me up on Twitter. And then, you know, I mean, it was actually very overwhelming, but I was just like, I think we're a part was just like I think we're a part of something I think we're a part of something it was one of those like I think this is a big deal I think this is like I think we're actually part of something I do also

remember the best thing about it was that those boys I remember being like I for once I'm in a room and the two men that see me 100% as an equal that are writing for me 100 as an equal if not writing better parts for me than they were writing for themselves like it was a really beautiful thing of like these people coming together that had the same humor the same intention and i don't know if that was a beautiful happy accident i don't know if that was just something that you know people saw but it was what it was and i remember that was the biggest thing for me, being in the room with those two boys and going like, oh my God, this is going to be something because we love each other,

because we're so excited, and because we get each other on a humor level that is very rare, to be honest. You weren't stepping into an established system or hierarchy. Yes. It was just kind of like, I think we're going to do this. And then it changed a lot from I think the original, what people wanted it to be.

It was just supposed to be a very opinionated this. And instead, you had these three people that did love the humor side of it and did love all that. And so I think it changed a lot with intention,

with the intention and it became what it was. But I remember that was, that was the biggest thing that I remember going, oh, this is gonna be something because we all really like each other and we all get along and this is so much fun.

So that was a really big awakening for me. When you first remember knowing that you'd become internet famous? When they were doing the Maxim thing. That was the creepiest and the craziest and most wonderful thing ever. Yeah, tell us about that. It was just, I think our producer said it as a joke.

And then the boys were like, said, there's a Maxim Hot 100 list where you write in people. What if we did Lee? Because someone put it in the comments. Like a whole bunch of people were like, we should put Lee in there, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I think it was a big thing for the producer to be like,

I wonder if we could actually do this. Like, I wonder if we could actually, you know, like, it was more of just a producer thinking, just being like, what does our army entail? You know? And so, and then I was like, God, that's not going to happen. And the boys took it on immediately and were like, oh no. And so they made a video.

And I remember they were like, oh, we crashed the site. And I was like, ow, in what world is this a thing? So that was a big. So they, Joe and Elliot, right? Joe and Elliot were like, they kind of jumped on board with it. They were like, oh yeah, let's just see. I think a big part of it was like,

let's see if we could do this. It wasn't, for me it was like, you know. And so they sent people to the site to vote. To vote. Rumor has it that Maxim then installed a CAPTCHA requirement. Yes, they did because of it. Because so many people were voting for you. And they had crashed the site multiple times. I mean, that is the power of the internet. Well, and now the net result is, well, you were on the Hot 100, number 57.

I was, Heinz 57 is my number. And you have a Maxim profile that people can go check out. I have a Maxim profile that people can, which is not something I never thought I would ever be able to say. I had the most clothes on too, if anyone ever wants to check that out. Okay, so you find it funny.

How do you feel about it? I mean, it's one of those baffling things to me. Like, I don't get it. I'm like, sure, okay. If you meet me, you might think differently because I fart on the reg. So do the rest of the girls on the list. So do the rest of the girls on the list. I'm sure.

They just sound like flowers and whispers coming out. Whereas mine, it's a two-ton truck. But for, you know, I mean, it's kind of one of those baffling things. Like, I don't get it, but I'll go along with it. Sure. And in a weird i mean it's kind of one of those baffling things like i don't get it but i'll go along with it sure and in a weird way it's kind of nice to be like i feel like i might want to be one of the only normal people that actually eats you know normal stuff and you know actually i don't know i might be one of the normal people and then that's kind of nice for me for me

i'm like oh i'm normal and i my boobs are barely showing there's a cleavage line and that's about it and it could be my scar who knows but that was one big thing too that they were like scar and i was like absolutely not you cannot photo that is mine no scars no proof like ain't happening and then yeah that was a big thing about it i was like i was gonna be in a leather jacket i I demanded to be covered on every level, mainly because I was like, I have a mother and father still. So, I was still around. There's two sides to what you're saying right now.

There's the one side of, I love this position of strength and confidence in who you are. Yeah. But I know even in the most recent video you talked about, it's true of everyone we're all self conscious you put it out there you were talking about your self image you were talking about people commenting are you pregnant

and how you want to lose weight so that's the other side of it there is a there's a self consciousness too I guess I think there is with everyone there's harsher things on women but there's harsher things on men too There's a self-consciousness too, I guess. Yes, of course. I think there is with everyone. There's harsher things on women,

but there's harsher things on men too in a different world, in a different world of providing. Success for men is a woman's body. Women's sexual image is how men are in their success. That's the equivalent in my mind. It's a weird thing. There are still self-conscious things. I've grown up with it. Like, it's been, I've been a chubby kid since puberty, which I think did form a lot of who I am and did form a lot of just, like, I'm going to make you my friend not through you wanting anything from me, but through me making you laugh, you know?

And I think that was a big part of it. I think self-consciousness is just one of those things that is human nature. I said in the vlog recently that, like, really the only thing I've struggled with more than my weight is the idea that it defines me, is the idea that it defines my self-worth. Because it is such a weird thing that, like, even going out and auditioning for roles, like,

they'll be like, oh, we want, like, a heavier girl. And you're like, great. So you get there, and then they're like, no, like, no, like, a heavier girl. And you're like, great. So you get there and then they're like, no, like, no, like, a heavier girl. And you're like, okay. Then they go, we want a normal girl. You go to something and they go, no, like, a normal girl. So no matter what, you're put in these different brackets of, like, it shouldn't matter. It shouldn't matter, but it does.

And that's the unfortunate world that we live in is that, you know, for me, it was the big weight loss thing was like i don't want to be any part of what holds me back in this world you know what i mean like i i don't want to hold myself back i don't want to be the person that has enough talent and enough drive to go places but because the world sees me in a certain light or doesn't see me as normal or sees me as a thicker girl or sees me as a this like i know that i'm not ever going to be the leading lady but i'll always be the quirky friend when it comes to a nbc sitcom i'm okay with that because that's a way more fun role but it's just that thing of you know the self-conscious factor always plays in i think

it does with everyone so for me it was more of a thing of i would rather not get those comments of are you pregnant again i'm not um like to To clarify. Not for a while, guys. It's going to happen someday. But it's just, you know, those things of, for me, it was more along the lines of not getting rid of those comments, but feeling better about myself in the sense of, you know, taking control because control is a big part of it, you know. For the last year and a half, I was doing sketch comedy,

which lends itself to a lot of horrible food at midnight and 3 a.m. decisions. And it lends itself to you sitting in front of a computer all day, every day. You rarely hike on Runyon and talk about sketch ideas. But being in the Maxim Hot 100 is kind of a victory in turning that on its ear and saying, I'm going to do it on my terms. And you're not going to change who I am. And at the same time, it's a victory for the Internet because we get to decide who we say is hot. Yes. Not some airbrushed magazine.

Exactly. And I think that is a big part of it. You know, I don't know. I think that is one of those things of I feel like I mean, there's people like Megan Tonjes, who I love so much because she has that, like, body revolution, the booty revolution, where she's just like, I'm taking, we're changing the idea of what defines a person. That's a big deal.

So, the Maxim thing is a touchpoint. It's a touchpoint. Touchpoint for your fame. Another one. The Maxim thing is a touchpoint. Another one, we got the inside scoop because Kevin, our producer, is friends with your boyfriend. Uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, we hear the inside scoop because Kevin, our producer, is friends with your boyfriend. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so we hear there's a Target story being recognized in Target. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there is. It was like actually probably one of the most mildly embarrassing. It was pretty embarrassing, actually. I rarely get embarrassed, but this was one of those where we were in. Oh, we got an embarrassing story. I know, an embarrassing story.

Give it up. Well, I was in a Target with my boyfriend, and I think I'm a lot to handle as a human being, but he wanted to go to the home section. I did not, so I proceeded to throw a fit in which I laid down on the ground and just decided to not go anywhere. Like on your back? Like on my back.

I was like, I'm not going. I'm not doing it. I can't move. Like if you want to go to home section, you drag me. Yeah, kind of the classic toddler move. The classic toddler move, which I tend to do a lot actually. I find it hilarious. And also, get your way, guys, as an almost 30-year-old woman

that won't move and laying down in Target. But you were doing it for comedic effect. I was doing it for comedic effect. He was laughing. It wasn't like a thing. I was doing it for comedic effect. I'm just like, I can't. I don't possibly have a Target home goods section rant.

I don't have anything in me left. All that being said, I'm still getting very nervous at this point. Well, so then I was just like, no, no. And some Target employee came up to me and I thought like, he was going to be like, man, get off the floor.

And instead he was like, are you Lee Newton? And I was like, oh, crap. Yes, I am. Let me get up. I'm just throwing a fit in front of,

and it was probably the biggest victory for my boyfriend because he was just like, see, you can't do that. You got to watch yourself. You have to watch yourself.

So that was a big defining moment of I was like, oh i i think i might not be able to do weird things in public anymore i think and if i do at least it'll be part of my brand right well and now it now that the groundlings thing has kind of come yes you know to an end that which i can only imagine how crazy your schedule was at those times. Yeah, it was about, it was like 50 hour work weeks of sketch comedy plus on top of full time. Yeah, and plus source film, yeah.

So, I mean, what does it look like now and what are you doing with that extra time? And I know one of them is focusing more on your personal channel. Yeah, one of them is focusing more on my personal channel. Another one I just got done with this CBS Diversity Showcase, which I am Native native american no one would ever be able to tell because uh i have a fantastic colorist and because my father's vicious irish side took over um but

that was a big thing i did and you know i mean now it's it's going into the personal channel now it's a weird thing of pilot season there's a a weird part of me that I love the internet. I love that. I still love acting. I love acting and doing all that stuff too. So it's that weird. I have agents and managers that all pitch you to crazy weird things. So right now when you say it's pilot season, is it the casting phase?

It's the casting phase? Like you're auditioning. It's the casting phase, auditioning for pilots everywhere and doing all this crazy weird stuff. What do you mean weird? Like example. Examples are like, I mean, you just, it's making an ass of yourself for comedy again. In an audition room. In an audition room where you have to take it so, you know, like there's every sitcom,

there's, you know, hyperboles of people. It's just like, they're just like, okay, now this girl's a valley girl, but she's such a valley girl. So you have to go in, and you dress the part, and you go in,

and you're just like, oh my God, no way. What's happening? How is this happening? And you're like, this is a ridiculous thing that ABC will never pick up. But I'm gonna-

But you gotta go for it. You have to go for it. You have to be those people that go for all those different things of like, oh, and then with this one, they want like a. And I didn't mean you have to go for the part. I meant you have to go for it. You have to go all the way.

All the way. In your performance. Yes. Because there's, you know, again, there's different key masters that are in charge of that world. You know, there's. And Patton Oswalt had a really great thing that he talked about in a Just for Laughs commencement speech that was really wonderful.

But he was talking about how the internet has redefined the key master. The internet has, you know, and he held up his iPhone and he was like, there's more power in this than when Orson Welles, you know, made Citizen Kane. And you're like, crap, that's totally true. So it's kind of nice to have. Unless the battery's dead. Exactly. It's kind of nice to have. Unless the battery's dead. Exactly. It's kind of nice to have both facets, though, to sit there and you.

I mean, I see things like I loved being a part of my music. I walked on set of my music and I had all this crew and this set. And I was like, holy crap, this is legit. This is a legit thing. I'm looking at a legit schedule i'm learning how to be in this world through an internet thing which is fascinating to me and it's kind of really exciting too so there's multiple different things trying out this world and it seems like the pattern of uh source fed is people are on sourceed and then they do it for a while and then they move on to something else.

They move on to something else, yeah. So what's the story with you? I'm the last of the first three, which is a weird feeling to feel because you're always like, I mean, I miss my boys completely, but I do know that there's tremendous new talent coming in and that's really exciting to see.

I would like to think of like that as an SNL type place where, you know, Phil Hartman comes back and does something. Mike Myers comes back and hosts. For me, it's one of those I don't know when I will be leaving SourceFed. I know that it's not long for me. I know that it's not my end goal. And I think anyone that knows me knows that it's not my end goal. Do I always like hold a knows that it's not my end goal do I always like hold a place for it do I always plan on still having my face on that channel as long as I possibly can and popping in and doing that absolutely because I still believe in it and I still think it's like such a wonderful place for stuff and so I don't I have no idea where

I stand in the sense of like actually that taking over and right now I'm even down to like, I'm not there as much as I used to be, you know, because other stuff in life has taken over. But I do still think it's such a wonderful place. And I'll always be that person that like pops in and does a comment, comment, Tony on Weekend Update, you know, like, so it's just there's things like that. But I don't know how much longer I am going to be there. I know that it is going in really great directions. I think that it has different things for a lot of different people. And I hope to be there in some respect, kind of always.

Well, let me ask an easier planning question since you bring it up. I mean, so, I mean, when are you gonna have a baby? Oh God. That's really, there's like a subliminal. Let's really think about it, girls. I don't know. I have no idea.

I have a niece, she's killer. She's like really doing great on the niece front and after about four hours, I go, these are a lot of work. Yeah. So I. I don't know, you're the one, you've mentioned it a number of times.

I just wanted to make sure well it's one of those things that you just have to let everyone know I'm not going to it's a weird thing as a woman there's so much things I wish if someone else could have it oh man I'd have four but four or five at least

I think I want a dog first start with a dog because I do love dogs. I really do love dogs. But that would be, if Must Love Dogs wasn't already a romantic comedy, that would be my romantic comedy. Must Love Dogs. But I do love animals and so I feel like that's a good start, right? Is animals before babies, career before animals, all that.

So what's the name of the dog you don't have or the kid that you don't have? The name of the child that I don't have will be Timer. Say that again? Timer. Timer. It's a cool name. It's a cool old name.

Like a guy who keeps time? Yep. I'm not laughing at it. It's a pretty sweet name. Don't steal it, anyone. I'm just letting you know. With a Y? With a T-I-M-E-R. Timer. Okay. not laughing at it. It's a pretty sweet name, don't steal it anyone. I'm just letting you know. With a Y? Oh with a T-I-M-E-R, timer.

Okay. It's just simple. And when did you choose this? How about T-H-Y-M-E-R? I heard it once and I was like, dude, that's a cool name. What grade were you in? No, what grade was I in? How close to childhood were you?

It wasn't someone's name, it was a swim name. They said, timers. Timers, I was like, god, man. There's a lot of timers here. That's a cool sound to do. That's basically it. How are all those guys named Timer? I like really interesting names.

Interesting, cool names. I like names that are occupations. So that's a great one. See, they had a cobbler, so, you know. So, Timer or Cobbler. Cobbler is the dog's name? No, the dog's name would be Snarf. Snarf or Beef.

Beef or Snarf. Depending. I need to see the dog. But Snarf or Snoot Snout. But Snarf is a real one that I've... Snoot Snout. I talk constantly about wanting a Snarf. I knew that you had thought about these names.

Of course. I don't know why. Because I talk about... I had a vivid dream three nights ago that I adopted this dog named Buster. And I remember texting my boyfriend and being like, oh God, I'm heartbroken. I woke up. I didn't have a Buster.

And he was like, we have to get past this. This cannot be a thing. He doesn't want a dog? No, of course he wants one. But I think he's probably tired of me going like, when are we going to get a dog? Figure it out. Like, just get a dog? Figure it out. Like, let's get a dog already. Dream dogs.

Dream dogs. That's where I'm at. Get a career, get a dog. Well, get that pin. I'd love you to sign this table. Yeah, do that. Oh, how wonderful. Find a space.

This is a lot of fun. It was great to hang out. Thanks for coming in. You guys got a lot of podium talk. There's a lot of, you know. We needed that. I mean, who knows? Also, to remind everyone that I mainly base my humor

in farts, so, you know, I mean, it can all be, you know. It's like, really, how much validity does she have? I second that instinct. You know, instinct. Oh, nice. Ow, very nice. Tee off. I put it over there.

There's an XO and there's three exclamation points. Perfect. Just to get really excited. Thanks, nice. Very nice. Tee off. I put it over there. There's an XO and there's three exclamation points. Perfect. Just to get really excited. Thanks, Lee. Oh, thank you. There it is. Our Ear Biscuit with Lee Newton. Super appreciative to Lee for coming in

and being at the round table of dim light. Let her know what you think by tweeting at her. Her handle is LeeNewtonSays, LeeNewtonSays. So give her- Hashtag Ear Biscuits. Yeah, give her that hashtag and let her know what you thought of this. I gotta say that I, when I was listening to Lee talk about this jam

that she's been making, I tried not to be too overzealous, but I was expressing a distinct interest in it. Oh yeah, I picked up on that. You really perked up when she started talking about jam. Well, I wanna be on the list. I wanna be on the list, Lee, that's the deal. I wanna be on the list.

When she makes that jam, I want her to have a rat jar. Well, I mean, she basically said that I'm in if I give her some of my dad's barbecue sauce. So, I mean, we could work out a distribution deal from her to me to you if you want. But you also said that your dad can't ship the barbecue sauce. He brings it out like from a trailer at Christmas time.

But she also said that he can ship it out and that he's holding out on me. And so I have to have a conversation with my dad. It's like, what, dad, is it not shippable? Okay, so this is how it works. You ship the barbecue sauce. No, your dad ships the barbecue sauce to you. You hand deliver the barbecue sauce to Lee.

It's a big jug. You get two jars of jam. You bring them back, you give me one. That sound like a deal? I'm missing one component. What do you give me? Money. I gave you the idea. I expressed the interest.

You gave me the distribution plan. I'm the facilitator. I'm the facilitator. The facilitator gets a cut, cut a jam. I like boysenberry. You like boysenberry? I like all jams. Jellies, that's for the birds.

Jams. What's the real difference, do you know? I know it when I see it. I've always thought that the jam had more fruit in it and the jelly was just like a gelatin. Yeah, something like that. But what's preserves? Preserves are jam to me.

No, I think preserves, you can put things in them. Like you can preserve things in them. Like you can preserve things in them. Like a dead animal. You could preserve like a little chicken in jam in preserves. I'm sure that the music came in a long time ago and people were like, I know that they're gonna keep talking about the difference between jellies, jams, and preserves,

but you Ear Biscuitiereer are on your way out and yeah, but we're gonna keep talking about it. But you should. I'll preserve anything, especially if it's jam. Okay, well, you said the Ear Biscuit-eers were on their way out and that's fine as long as they find their way back in next week because we will be here.

I was gonna say same time, same place, but I mean, we will, but you can enjoy this whenever you want to. Anytime, any place. We'll be here. Shove us in your ears. Shove us in your ears, I like that. New slogan.

Okay, see you next week.