Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Ep. 78 Ingrid Nilsen - Ear Biscuits

Episode Date: July 17, 2015

YouTube fashion and beauty guru, Ingrid Nilsen, known Internet-wide as MissGlamorazzi, joins Rhett & Link this week to discuss her recent viral Coming Out video, how her vulnerable public announcement has affected her relationship with her friends, family, fans, and what it will ultimately mean for her brand. Later she addresses the rumors circulating the Internet about her romantic relationship with “My Drunk Kitchen” star, Hannah Hart. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. Joining us today at the round table of dim lighting is YouTube fashion and beauty guru, Ingrid Nielsen. Ingrid's YouTube channel, Ms. Glamorazzi, is full of fashion tips, how-to videos, personal vlogs, and it's become one of the most popular beauty channels

on YouTube boasting 3.7 million subscribers and over 270 million video views. Ingrid has steadily climbed her way to becoming one of the go-to channels for fashion and beauty advice, and along the way her followers have been getting to know Ingrid in her up close and personal vlogs. Most recently, Ingrid released a video called

"'Something I Want You to Know Coming Out," where she makes the emotional announcement that she's gay. Here's a clip of that video. All right, I guess I am just going to get right to it. There's something that I want you to know. And that something is, I'm gay. It feels so good to say that. Now that video is 19 minutes long,

but it turns out there's still plenty more to cover in an Ear Biscuit. Right, and on a typical episode of Ear Biscuits, we go into the background of a person, we talk about their growing up, the process that led to them becoming, you know, the star that they are. And there's a little bit of that in this one,

but because this announcement is so fresh in her life, and it's been such a big thing in her life that we just ended up talking mostly about that. And you know, I gotta say, I'm glad that Ingrid chose Ear Biscuits to come and unpack more of the details behind that vlog because this is, as she says, one of the first times that she's talked about it

since the video. So we talked about her childhood, including when she realized she liked girls, the environment she grew up in, which was not a place where she felt free to express that to others and so she kept it secret. We also talked about the incredibly intense process leading up to releasing the vlog,

including breaking up with her boyfriend and the aftermath of the video, including fan reactions and whether or not she thinks that being openly gay will impact her brand. We also address the internet speculation about her relationship with Hannah Hart. The internet has officially shipped them, but have they shipped themselves?

Stick around for that. Okay, enjoy this biscuit with Ingrid Nielsen. This makes everyone sound so sexy. Yeah, it's very. Welcome to K96.4. Oh my God, that's so good. Don't encourage him too much. I'll go into the DJ voice if you want me to.

Coming up, traffic on the 10s, weather on the 8s. News on the. Everything else. News on the 3s. I don't know where the news is. We got Lizard in the chopper. He's going to give us the traffic update. Lizard in the chopper. Here, you try it. I don't have a news voice.

And, uh... That's good. You went lower. Are we recording this? Because this is good stuff. Yes, I started. I'm 10 seconds in. Should I try like a sexy voice? Yeah, sure.

Yeah, like if you had a radio show, Ingrid, what would it be? Oh, like Delilah. You know Delilah? Late night. Oh. Delilah. She talks like this.

Oh, like butter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, can I do that? Do I sound sexy? Yeah, well, yeah. I don't, can I do that? Do I sound sexy? Yeah, well, it's like people will call in and give dedications. Oh. Like-

I want to dedicate this song to my wife, Linda, who- But she restates it. They don't play that. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm thinking about the call that was going in there. Yes, right. So you, like if you were that guy, you would call in to Ingrid. Hey, Delilah.

To Ingrid. Hey, Ingrid, my wife, what was her name? What did I call her name? Darla? Sure. I wanna dedicate this to Darla. We're not currently together. We're separated and there's a restraining order against me.

But I still love her and I would like to dedicate endless love to her. And then you would take that and you would restore their marriage in this song dedication. That's what Delilah does.

Wait, what's your wife's name again? Darla. Darla. And your name is? Clinton. Okay. All right, Darla. This goes out to you from Clinton. Good luck, because he seems crazy.

Yeah, exactly. I don't have a radio voice. I have like a little chipmunk voice. It was his fault, and he knows it. And you obviously do too, because if they were straining him, here's endless love from a distance. He's not going to come within 25 feet of you. From a very far, far distance.

But here's the good news. We don't have to be good at radio, right? No. We've already got a job. Yeah. He should have dedicated from a distance, that Bette Midler song. If I had a really thought about that joke, I would have said that. From a distance.

That is a Bette Midler song, right? Yeah, from a 100 yard radius. That would be Clinton's version of that. Oh, this is sad. This is starting off very funny but very sad. You were talking about the fact that you just took a power nap before this and I don't want people to think

that we've been laying down on the job but we also took power naps right before you showed up. Yes, we have a mutual love of naps. This is awesome. We actually built a nap, like a nap zone into our office. Yeah. AKA the couch?

AKA there's a loft with a couple of recliners. Which you didn't see it, right? No. Yeah. A.K.A. the couch? A.K.A. there's a loft with a couple of recliners. Which you didn't see it, right? No. Exactly. It's unseen. People don't know what's up there. We don't tell a lot of people. Oh my god, I need this because I sleep on our couch at the office and I'm just out in the open and Eileen is actually

creating a collection of Ingrid napping photos. Just out in front of everybody? Yeah. I mean, who's going to and fro at your office? I'm in two girls. It's me and two girls. So it's not that many people,

but I'm just out there in the open taking my power nap and Eileen will take photos of me in various positions. But you need that. Do they go on Tumblr or? No, she keeps them for her personal collection. Oh, it's blackmail style. Yeah, it's blackmail style. Yeah, it's blackmail style. Is your mouth like gaked open? You know, sometimes

she has pictures of me with hats on my head. She has pictures of me with my mouth open. You put the hat on your head or she puts the hat on your head? I put the hat on my head. That would be different. Sometimes I just need to pretend like it's nighttime. Like a beauty mask. Well, not quite. It's more like shutting the world out.

Right. Just like, this is my world now inside this hat. Her hat's in the face, don't talk to her. Her face is in the hat, is what I meant to say. I mean, like I was telling you a second ago, I set my timer for 30 minutes, because they say that the perfect power nap is 20 minutes, and I was like, well, it's gonna take me a while

to fall asleep. And can we back up, because I don't remember, I And I was like, well, it's gonna take me a while to fall asleep. And can we back up because I don't remember. I just, I remember I was on the couch asleep. Yeah, Link was on the couch. We were having a brainstorming session that ended with Link snoring. Because you had to. Rhett was like, okay.

Rhett was like, I gotta go. I'm up there on the whiteboard writing an amazing idea and then I turn around and then he's just, his mouth is agape. No, no, no, you said I have to go pee. Really? Yeah, and so you went to pee and I was like, and I went to sleep.

It's over. And the time it took you to pee, and when you came back. That was about 45 seconds, just so you know. I was so sleepy. And your ideas were so mind-numbing. And then when I got in there, I was like, well, I'm going up to the nab zone, I'm setting the timer.

And I did hear you going up the stairs and I was like, okay, yeah'm going up to the nap zone. I'm setting the timer. And I did hear you going up the stairs and I was like, okay, yeah, I can really go deeper into sleep now. But I woke up 22 minutes after it started. I probably took exactly a 20 minute nap. I didn't make it to the 30 minute mark. I felt incredible. Yeah.

Okay, now let's jump into the deep end here. You've got this blockbuster announcement video that's still reverberating through the internet. At the time of this recording, four weeks later, your coming out video, 10 million views in the first month. It has 10 million views? It does. Holy.

Yes, that's eight figures. That's eight figures, ladies and gentlemen. I mean, I haven't gone back to that video in a while because I put it up and it was just kind of like, this is it, you know? And I think at least people I know that have made coming out videos, they kind of post it and then they don't watch it again because it's like this big thing. You put it out there and then it's't watch it again because it's like this big thing. You put it out there and then it's kind of like not your thing anymore. It becomes, you know, something that you put out there for everybody. So, wow. I had no idea it was at 10 million views. 10 million. And as you kind of described in the video, I mean, this was a culmination of 25 years of suppression, secrecy, struggle.

Why now? The timing, I mean, the timing just felt right. I think that I'm 26 now and 25 was a really rough year for me. was a really rough year for me. And I think it's something that's just common in general with people around that age. When you're in your mid-20s, you're reevaluating everything, regardless of what your sexuality is. And so I was struggling with, you know, things professionally, personally with my sexuality. I always knew that I was gay from my earliest, earliest memories. And I was just – I just felt so stifled within my own self and I just felt like I needed to break free. And as much as I tried to keep living this life that first had been set up for me and then I continued

to just go along this path, it just felt like I was trapped and I didn't like that feeling. And as scary as it was to, I guess, accept it myself fully and then think about, okay, well, now that I have fully accepted this, what am I going to do now? Because this doesn't just affect me. I was in a relationship at the time. This affects other people. It was really, really difficult. So how long between making the decision, knowing that you need to make a video and then posting the video, what was that time period? I mean, when I decided to, it really wasn't that long.

I kind of knew in the back of my mind that I would probably want to post a video. want to post a video. But I remember being on an airplane and just feeling like I was ready because I had told people in my life, people in my personal life knew. And I remember just being on this plane. I wasn't doing anything in particular. I was just looking out the window and I just had this feeling of I'm ready. I'm gonna do this this week. And that's what I did. Because you described the process in the video. At one point, you talk about you reach a point where you felt like you needed to break free.

That's what you just said. It's either in hearing people's coming out stories, it's kind of, there's a lot of either a point where you break down or wanna, and then make a decision to, like you said, break free. But that was something that, you kind of had this process where you left, I guess, left LA.

Yeah, I- And then you went to New York. Yeah, so last summer, I made the decision to basically just drop everything and get an Airbnb in New York for a couple. Everything meaning your YouTube content. I mean, I was. Your career. Well, I didn't give up on my YouTube videos, but I had all of these things lined up. I had shoots lined up and I basically just told everyone I need this for my personal sanity because I just felt like I was

being worked into a wall. A lot of it was self-induced because I felt so overwhelmed, but I felt like I had to do all of these things. And they were also a distraction from thinking about what I really needed to be thinking about. And so I just told everybody, I'm going to New York, so we're just going to have to figure it out. And I told everyone that I needed some time. And that was it. It wasn't, there weren't a lot of details.

It was just, I'm getting away. You make it work in my absence or things have to be on pause. Yeah. And I literally spent those couple months in New York by myself in an Airbnb and I explored the city. I wrote, I read, I listened to music. I just didn't- And why New York? I've always felt a connection with New York. My aunt and uncle used to live in Connecticut and I would visit them in the summers. And I remember going to the city for the first time when I was about nine years old. And I remember just having this immediate connection with it.

And it was interesting because I was always such a shy kid and very, very introverted. And to have a connection with a city that is so the opposite of all of that, it was something that I wanted to explore more. And I had never been to New York and just been able to experience it. I was always there for work. So I really just wanted to have an experience

in a city that I felt a connection with. But was it kind of in solitude? I mean, you didn't have friends there that you were hanging out with? I mean, I saw, I knew a couple people there, so I would see them periodically, but I was in this place by myself. Like, I didn't have a roommate or anything,

and most of my days were spent on my own. Like a meditative state of, I've gotta figure this out. Like walking around. Yeah, literally going to parks, like reading books. I mean, we actually went recently and I've always said there's just something, you can walk in any direction for as long as you want

and you're constantly surrounded by people and culture and it just, there's just something therapeutic about it. For me, I totally get that. But I could see how it would be an isolated experience in the midst of all that too. So it's kind of a good choice. I think for me, I really needed that because I technically wasn't alone because I was around a lot of people, but I was completely anonymous being in New York City. Like I didn't know a ton of people there.

I could just walk outside, walk aimlessly in whatever direction, see where I ended up, and it's really what I needed. I think it was the perfect environment for me. Had you come out to anyone over the course of your life? I hadn't. Because you said you always knew

and there was a suppression and a secrecy, but... My dad knew really, really, really early on. I didn't, at that point, like, I didn't know to say, I'm gay, but my dad knew. And he was just always completely fine with it. Meaning it was more of a dialogue? There wasn't a moment where you came out to your dad? Yeah, because I was so young too. You didn't say you're gay, you just were like, I like girls? Yeah, pretty much. And I remember, I've never said this before aside, I've never told

this to people aside from my really close friends, but I had this really awful nightmare as a kid that really stuck with me for like a week or more afterwards i had this nightmare in my mind about being forced to marry a man and i remember being so disturbed by it as a kid how old i was like seven or eight and I remember just waking up and running to my dad and just crying and crying and crying and crying because I said, I don't want to marry a man. I don't want to be with a man. And he was great. He was so comforting to me in that moment.

I think he handled it perfectly, and he just said, it's okay, you don't have to. It's interesting. I think there are people who would try to explain away you being a lesbian as there's got to be some external cause and they'll go to the dad thing. And it's a very powerful story to say that, you know, the first person you ran to with this nightmare was your dad.

You know, I think that kind of shuts that down right off the bat. Yeah. And his reaction was what you would have hoped it would have been. Yeah, he just said, it's okay. You don't have to. That's what he said to me. And that moment is just like stuck in my head because I remember him saying that

and feeling so relieved. But then when I would think about the dream, that dream just stuck with me. And I haven't had a dream since that has stuck with me like that one has. I remember just being so disturbed because i was also so young and it stuck with me for over a week and i just remember being like i had this sick feeling in my gut when i would think about it but even though the first

person you told your dad it was a you know a supportive loving response yeah there was still a prison that was constructed around you that then you as you describe it in your video you at a certain point in your life you took over the construction of yeah the prison the glass prison as you called it exactly so I while my dad was accepting of it, that doesn't mean everybody else in my immediate family slash life was. So it was difficult. So were they also ignorant of it? They didn't know about it or they just, he didn't tell them?

No, my dad never said anything to anybody. Your mom even? I mean, I think, yeah. I mean, I don't know for sure, but I really don't think he said anything to anybody because I don't think he felt like it was his place. And where was this? Where did you grow up? I grew up in Southern California, about 40 miles southeast of LA.

Okay. Yeah. And I pretty much just stayed there my entire childhood. We didn't move around or anything. So you kind of hinted at this in the video too, and you just said it. Some people were accepting, some people weren't. I mean, Southern California isn't, it isn't necessarily like, hey, I'm in South Georgia and I'm coming out at seven years old or whatever. But culturally, like the culture that you were involved in, was it conservative? Yeah, it was very, very, very conservative. So it was just, no one really spoke of it and when it people did speak

about it it was always in a negative way um so naturally i felt very uncomfortable and isolated because i felt like everyone else around me wasn't accepting. So I think that's another reason why I became so close with my dad because I felt like he was my ally. I'd love to continue to go back from the background, but I want to pick up with the New York thing and then we'll go back more to the background because I'm also interested in just the YouTube story and your whole career, it's fascinating. So in New York, having not come out to anyone except for that seven year old dream confession to your dad,

in this meditative state, that's when you were starting to say, okay, I know what the problem is and it's getting to be too much to bear to not be myself. Yeah. Was there, was it the plane ride back? Is that the plane ride where it was like, okay, I'm gonna make the video

or was it, what decisions took place in New York and what brought you back? It wasn't the, I didn't going to make the video? Or was it, what decisions took place in New York? And what brought you back? It wasn't the, I didn't decide to do the video in New York. That was much closer to the actual video being posted. That was probably like a week out from the video being posted. I was on a plane and I was like, I'm going to do this. Because New York was, you said, basically a year ago now. Yeah, pretty much.

And at the time when you're in New York, you're still in a relationship with a man. Yes, that's correct. So what was your question again? Sorry. What decisions came from New York? What brought you back and what did you do at that point? So in New York, I decided that this was something that I couldn't stop,

decided that this was something that I couldn't stop, that I was going to eventually come out to people and eventually the man that I was with, I didn't know the timing of it. I didn't know how it would happen. And I was terrified. When I would think about it, I would just, I would a lot of times tell myself, no, you can just stay in this because you're going to hurt somebody that you care about. Would it really be that hard to stay in this? But I ultimately made the decision that I need to strive to be the most authentic version of myself. And I think that I have an obligation to myself to be me and to give myself my best chance. That's my job. That's my number one obligation. And number two, my day job is to be me. So that was another factor. Not only did I want to do this for hurting, but feeling like I wasn't being completely honest with my viewers. And it was really rough. So I just ultimately decided this is going to happen. I don't know when. I don't know how. But I'm going to take this step by step. And now that I have personally accepted that this is going to happen, we'll just take it in baby steps and figure it out.

But one of the things that made it so frightening was that relationship you were in, which how long had you guys been dating at that point? It was over a year and a half. So it was coming up on two years and that so that was like the big thing yeah i was i was so terrified and also i just felt so guilty because you know just because i'm gay i'm a lesbian and i have been in relationships with men. And, you know, this last relationship, it doesn't mean that I didn't care about that person. It doesn't mean that I was just like, whatever happens, happens. I was so concerned and worried. And I wanted to be as thoughtful as possible about it because I realized this is another human being.

This human being loves me, cares about me, and I care about him and I love him, but not in that deep way. And what did he think you were in New York doing? Sorting things out personally? Yeah, just because i tend to be a little bit of a free spirit so he just thought oh you know this is ingrid going off being like her creative self um so i don't think anybody really had any idea that all of this was going on while i was there and then when you came back how did you start to roll this out um i well first i

lived in my head a lot i did a lot of writing and i remember just kind of feeling like i couldn't be the first step was I couldn't be in this relationship with somebody that I do care about, but it's not a full real relationship. I couldn't keep leading him on essentially. That's what I felt like. I felt like I was leading him on. And so it wasn't something that happened immediately. It took me time to, you know, go from deciding, okay, this is what I'm going to do. And then, you know, initiating a breakup conversation, which was really difficult, especially when you're at a phase in a relationship where you're considering moving in and, you know, getting more serious, I think that period of time being with someone for about two years,

you're starting to think about those things. And so it was really difficult, but I told myself, you have to do this because it's better to do it now than to get into something deeper and then drop this. And at least from the way you anticipated that point was kind of like you're blindsiding him. Yeah. Like there was no indication.

I don't even know what he thought you can tell us, but at this point before like having that conversation, the assumption is from you, I'm about to blindside him. Pretty much. So you call a meeting? I mean, logistically, how do you go about this? So, there was not a- I'm gonna make you a private YouTube video

because I'm good at those. Just watch this. Did you think about doing it that way? Well, I mean, what happened was the relationship ended. So we officially broke up. And it took me about a month after we broke up to actually tell him I'm gay. So that's what happened. And when we were going through the process, I remember him saying something to me.

him saying something to me. And I have to say that this is the most kind and supportive, you know, parting that I have ever experienced. I think we were both really thoughtful and kind throughout the entire thing. And he still is very supportive. So I feel lucky for that. And I remember him saying, you know, I feel like there's this unstoppable force within you where you are beginning to really step into the shoes that you are meant to wear. And, you know, he wasn't specific about it. It was kind of vague like that. But he said, you know, there's this unstoppable force. I can't stop it. Like I just – I see it coming.

I see it happening within you. And I just kind of have to accept that and step to the side because this is something that's really important. And he didn't know exactly what it was, but it was so- Oh, so that was the breakup. The breakup was he initiated it? It kind of started as a conversation that was i guess you know it was almost initiated by both of us because we could each tell you know that something wasn't quite right um and and you knew a little more than he did yes yes i know a little bit more um so that wasn't the moment to okay well then yeah it didn't it didn't start off as by the Yeah, it didn't start off as like a. By the way. Yeah, it didn't start off as like,

I'm gonna go into this as a breakup conversation. It started as, you know, I think a conversation with the two of us realizing that we needed to talk. And then. And he's probably expecting something after you have this period of time in New York, like she's gonna come back with some sort of revelation about something.

Yeah, there were months in between that, but we still, you know, there were things that were happening in between that time, and we just had to talk about everything. So you broke up under vague, for like he had a vague premonition that he put in a positive light, like this is going to be good for like, he had a vague premonition that he put in a positive light, like this is gonna be good for you,

great things are ahead for you. We need to move on. And so then later you went back to him. About a month later. About a month later you go back to him and you're like, all right, I'm about to fill you in on some of the details. Yeah, I was very direct with him and his reaction was...

Oh, was it that? It was like, a lot more makes sense now. Yeah. And I think he handled it perfectly. And I think it was actually, I guess, I mean, I can't imagine any other way now since this is what actually happened but I think it was good because we had that period of time to kind of mourn the relationship and so by that point you know he wasn't in the midst of it or anything he had had some he wasn't having an

emotional reaction yeah he had some separation and so I told him, I'm sure that there was still a lot to process, but it was much different than, hey, we're breaking up. Also, I'm gay, so go deal with that. Yeah. You know? And he wasn't the first person that you told, though. No, no. The first person that I told was my friend Kat. And that

came after driving 50 miles up the coast and stopping at this random spot. There were just these rocks. She happened to be there? She happened to be there. She was waiting for me with some flowers. So you're on the PCH. Yeah. So I drove up. I had been doing this drive a lot. For some reason, I've always found it really comforting whenever I feel stressed or I'm anxious or trying to process something. I always feel the need to get out, whether it's going on a walk, just getting outside, going on a drive and driving aimlessly. That really helps me. And for some reason,

I kept gravitating towards this BCH drive. It's pretty iconic. Yeah, it is. But for some reason, I just kept wanting to drive near water. So this was the longest drive that I did. I drove about 50 miles up from where I live. And I stopped at these rocks. I sat there for so long. And that's when I had, you know, I just had this playing in my head over and over again that, you know, well, you know, everyone deserves their best chance. I think this is time that I give myself my best chance.

And I just- Chance at what? Chance at life. Like a what? Chance at life. Like a real full happy life. And so when that hit, then I was like, well, now I have this urge. Like I need to tell somebody. I feel ready to tell somebody. And it was just like I was about to burst.

And the first person that came to my mind immediately without any hesitation was my friend Kat. And she's just always been somebody that I've been able to talk openly with. We've had really intimate conversations. And she was one of those people that was like, you know, I always kind of had a feeling. But I just, you know, I didn't want to say anything. feeling but I just you know I didn't want to say anything but because we had had these intimate conversations she it wasn't a total shock for her and I've just always felt comfortable talking to her about anything I think she's one of the most open-minded people that I know and she's always working on herself she always wants to improve herself and that's something that I know. And she's always working on herself. She always wants to improve herself. And that's

something that I really admire about her. And that's, I think, a big reason why I felt so comfortable telling her. I just, I knew Kat has to be the person. This may sound like a stupid question. It may be one. I have a knack for asking those sometimes. But so when you come out to your best friend, your best girlfriend, is there a moment where it's like, but I'm not crushing on you or were you or are you or? Well, I don't think she ever had,

maybe she did have that thought. Actually, I didn't ask her, but she never expressed it. And I'm sure if she did have that thought, she would have told me because she's just that kind of person but um i didn't ever feel like i had to tell her well you know i've never had a crush on you so don't start thinking that like this isn't my love confession to you we didn't talk about that at all and i think if she had that question she would have asked me because when i told her we sat talking for about two and a half hours or so

um but i did have an experience like that with uh my friend after i came out to her we were in a situation where we were gonna share a a bed. And, you know, in the past, it would just be something where it's like, we're just sharing a bed. But I felt like I had to preface it with, but it's okay. Don't worry. Like, nothing's going to happen. And she was like, Ingrid, calm down. It's okay.

So it was actually me. It was you bringing that. Yeah. And she's like, Ingrid, it's fine. Shut up. Stop it. And then, okay okay so shortly after that i guess you you you tell a few other people um and how quickly do you know or was it also when

you were on the rock that you knew i've got to tell my fans as well that this is part of this or was that sort of like a secondary thing yeah that was kind of in the back of my mind. I knew that that would be a thing eventually, but my main concern was telling the people around me first. And then once I got through that phase, then I would deal with the next phase. And something that I've always known about myself and I think people around me know,

once I commit to something, once I have made a decision it's like I go full speed ahead so once I just you know once I told Kat I was basically plowing through everybody on my list and coming out because it felt amazing to tell Kat and I couldn't stand being around these people all the time or talking to them and not having them know. Did some of those moments not go well? They all went really well. I mean, I told a very small group of people and everybody was really supportive. interesting to see everybody's you know initial facial reactions because some people um you know immediately jumped up and smiled and some people were very calm about it so it's just really

interesting to see these sides of people that but no one made that like face like something stinks but you don't want to no no no no act like you smelled something no no but these were also friends lesbian smell i don't i mean i did i mean she's checking her armpits right now i i put deodorant on today i will say i don't know if it works so well because i had to reapply it twice yesterday so i actually said before change switch up well i said before coming over here, I hope I don't stink because my deodorant's a little questionable. I haven't smelled anything. For the record, you don't. Okay, good.

So these were mostly friends. So you kind of anticipated a positive reception from them. But did this also include coming out to people back home, family? I came out to one family member. Everyone else I'm not as close with in my family. So I kind of narrowed down the list of people that I was going to come out to, to people that were, I guess,

immediately in my life and important to me. And so it was difficult coming out to that one person, but I would say that I'm just not close with the rest of my family at this point. So that wasn't something that was a part of the experience. So before we get into the coming out video, I just think it's, I would just like to hear how, you know, when you talk about, what does it really mean to not be your true self as an experience?

I mean, maybe just within the microcosm of a relationship with a guy. What is that like when you know that this is not who I truly am and I love this guy, but it's not that kind of, it's not a romantic love? How does that even work?

And is there, from his perspective, is it like, oh, this was never fully clicking now that I look back on it? Or was it something that you were just really good at suppressing? I think I was really good at suppressing it, but also sometimes not so good at suppressing it. And I think that I was good at suppressing it for a while. And then it got to a point where I became frustrated with the situation that I had built for myself. And I became frustrated with myself.

And it really was just like going through the motions that I thought I had to go through. And I think... You mean like acting like you're attracted to someone physically? Yeah. When you're not? Yeah. It feels very mechanical.

That's what it feels like. It feels mechanical. And you, in the midst of that, you knew this is, was it I know that I'm basically acting to kind of play this role or was it like, I don't know, maybe someday this will take. Maybe I can be attracted. Yeah, I think, you know, especially earlier on in a relationship, it's much easier to suppress. And then when you get deeper into it and you actually start caring about somebody, it becomes much more difficult.

And I was not a good actress once we started to get deep into it. You know, I was running away from a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. I was running away from a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. And I think it was just something that I couldn't continue to keep doing. And in my mind, I would think, maybe if I keep doing this, it will just become what I'm telling myself what I want to want because this is the easier path. And that was the big difference, wanting to want because this is the easier path. And that was the big difference, you know, wanting to want something and what I actually want.

Right. Did you believe that it was wrong? Or what was your motivation to put yourself through this and other people, I guess? I guess because it had started so early on in my life. And it, you know, I explain it as it's not something that I started for myself. It was, you know, my surroundings and I, being young, wanted love and acceptance. So I would start doing these things that I didn't want to do. I would be a person that I didn't want to be. And then eventually you kind of just get in the

groove of that. And it really sucks. It's like you get used to being someone that's not fully you. And it really, really sucks. And then it's almost like you're a robot in a way. And you just you get used to it. You adapt and you just tell yourself over and over. Well, you know, so many other people have it way worse. Why are you complaining? Like, just keep going. So was it you were doing this because you wanted to like fit somebody's expectations. Yeah, that's exactly right. It wasn't like, no, I've been taught my entire life that this is wrong and I've got to suppress this.

Was it a moral thing from your background or? It was, you know, partially while having, you know, my dad be supportive, everything else around was pretty negative. And so that was... But how did that impact your particular perspective on it? It made me feel like it was something that I had to hide, that it was bad, that, you know, I'm not going to be loved for this. People are going to treat me, you know, horribly. And I just wanted to be loved and accepted by people around me. And now I realize, you know, horribly. And I just wanted to be loved and accepted by people around me. And now I

realize, you know, I was seeking love and acceptance from people that I don't want love and acceptance from if they're going to have that kind of mindset. And I think this can kind of transition back into the video that you make to tell everybody about this. Was there also, you know, given, which we haven't even really gotten into talking specifically because it's just a big thing in your life right now, but specifically about what it is you do on YouTube and what your, the brand is and what the angle is. How much did that factor in to think, okay, I am Miss Glamorazzi. It's about beauty and makeup and how, you know, stereotypically people might describe as girly things.

This girl doesn't seem like a lesbian. So how much did that factor into the decision? And did you worry that coming out was going to impact the brand in a negative way? Honestly, I was so in my head that I wasn't thinking about anything business related at all. I was like, how am I going to survive this personally? How am I going to do this in a thoughtful way with the people around me? And how am I going to do this in a thoughtful way to my viewers? And in that sense, I don't see that as like a business thought. So it wasn't until after I posted the video and I was reading comments that all of that

started to click in. And I was just thinking, oh my God, these are things that I never thought about. I was reading posts on Tumblr that girls had written that I would just read and cry because I had no idea that people were going through these things and that my video relating to your story yeah and um i i think what was interesting in the comments was to see because there's this there's this big there's a difference between you know the public reaction to me coming out and um people in my personal life that reaction i would say for the most part people in my personal life were like yeah you know we kind of knew um but on the flip side public reaction everybody's like whoa oh my gosh and the number one thing was oh my gosh i'm so shocked you don't look like a

lesbian right and and that's when i realized oh my my gosh, this has nothing to do with how I look. This has nothing to do with my superficial interests, my aesthetic taste, what music I listen to. It has nothing to do with that at all. But because of this experience, I've realized more so now than ever that these stereotypes are perpetuated, especially in the lesbian community. of lesbians that are feminine. It's a lack of representation in traditional media. And it sounds like you didn't expect to be. You're representing kind of tearing down a wall in people's perspectives. And I did not think about that at all. It set in when I read the first post by a girl on Tumblr. I was just going through

these Tumblr posts and I wish I could remember the name. And I remember her saying that my video meant so much to her because she went down a similar path and she's never been able to see herself reflected in the community with like a more public figure and I was just crying reading that post and that's when I realized oh my god this is a real this is a real thing because it wasn't something that I thought about before because I was so in here like how am I gonna do this in a thoughtful way and then I realized oh my god there are all of these stereotypes that exist and it has nothing to do with how people look at all at all and so that's kind of like my personal mission now is to just hopefully break that down and to show people that you know it's about who i love fully and deeply it's not about all of this external yeah um how do you interpret the the fact that this is now your most

viewed video well what does that say about what does that say about the audience and then how just how do you feel about it i i mean it's still very overwhelming to think about um but it makes me feel good because I think overall, you know, the comments that I've seen, the tweets that I've read from people, the posts that I've read, people have been very, very supportive. And, you know, I've read posts where it seems to be helping people. And that's just one of my main things in life. When I'm an old woman on my deathbed and if I'm thinking about this wonderful life that I've lived, one of the things that contributed to that wonderful life is helping people. And to see that this is helping people, it just, it makes me very emotional

and I have to hold back tears because I'm very prone to crying, especially with this. But it is overwhelming to know that that many people have seen the video because I wasn't expecting it. It was like, I'm doing this for me and I'm doing this for my viewers

because I feel like I have this personal connection with them. And they have been with me for all of these years. And this is something that I want them to know. I wasn't expecting it to be a thing that got shared with people outside of, you know, my little community. you know, my little community. Right. And I think that that's an interesting dynamic because, um, your video is kind of, you know, there have been a number of other coming out videos for people that it may have been really unexpected. Some people may have anticipated, whether it was anticipated or unexpected, there's something about a coming out video that it usually is the most popular video on a person's channel.

And it's an interesting dynamic, right? I mean, what do you think that says about the current climate on YouTube that that's the kind of thing that ends up popping bigger than maybe anything else anybody does? I think one of the big reasons why people are gravitating towards these coming out videos is the level of vulnerability in them. And I think that vulnerability just in general

in your real life opens up so many doors because it allows you to be your truest self. You're putting yourself out there. And I think people can see that in these videos. And, you know, how much more intimate can you really get? You know, I think that this is something that's so personal and so much a part of people where it's not all of a person, but it's a very intimate part of them. And in these coming out videos, I think you see that vulnerability in people. And I think people recognize that they can see it and they appreciate it. Yeah. Cause there's something about peeling back layers of personality that, you know, there's that tension with somebody

who shares their life. It's like the further I pull this back, the more intimate of a connection I have with my viewers. And then you pull something like that back and it's like, whoa, this has been true all along and now we know about it. We gotta talk about it, we gotta share it, we gotta comment on it.

Yeah. It's just, that's how that's how and of course this in the issue of sexuality is such a hot issue it always has been but especially right now with the debate about gay marriage in our country and um so this is just something that is sort of just beneath the surface and with everybody and everybody wants to yeah i think everyone's curious people are curious too and i think that you know people who aren't struggling with their sexuality still connect with these videos because of that level of vulnerability you know i think it's about accepting yourself not just your sexuality well part of, part of the fascination and part of the buzz around the video like this, it does,

it isn't just the fact that, oh, isn't this kind of ironic, she's the lesbian makeup girl, or however people wanted to say it, but how does it make you feel about your brand and just moving forward, potentially being branded in that way, if that's how people would refer to you. Because you have your initial fan base,

you know, millions of people watch your videos. This is now part of your brand, right? But tens of millions of people watch this video and that might be what people know of you. Yeah, I mean, well, if it's what they know of me, it's what they know of me, but it's not how I define myself. I am a woman. And being a lesbian is part of being a woman for me. And it's as simple as that. My brand is about being a woman. And this is just part of that.

Do you have specific, have you thought now that this is kind of rolled out, and you've got this reaction? Have you thought about how to manage that moving forward? It's been like, okay, well, I don't want, you know, I know how people are and people like to put people in a box and people like to put descriptors on people, especially with sexuality, especially if there's something that seems juicy or ironic. Has that impacted, you know, videos

and your brand moving forward? You know, I think I've been in this kind of evolutionary process just in general. I'm like in this transitional phase in my life, very transitional. And I think that's been reflected in my content for a while. And I don't really feel the need to explain myself or do things differently because of this. I'm going to keep doing and creating what feels natural to me and exploring different things and just following that natural evolution. And because I have opened up like this, this just makes me feel more liberated to create the things that I really want to create and the things that are meaningful to me. I'm interested in your start on YouTube and how

having such an important section of who you are as a person being so secret and having that struggle. And in parallel, you're putting yourself out there on the internet. And I mean, the first video that, I don't know if it was the first one you made, but it's the first one that was still public with the red lipstick. Yeah, yeah. Still wearing that red lipstick.

You know, what went into that video? Did you have any inkling that you would become the Miss Glamorazzi that everyone now knows, especially now now knows, you know? Absolutely not. That wasn't the first video that ever went live on my channel. The first one, you can barely see me because it's like so dark. And I don't think I really said that much because I had no idea what to say. It was a hair curling tutorial. But I had no idea. Absolutely no idea when I started. This wasn't-

How old were you? I was 20. Okay. So it wasn't something that I was thinking, you know, later down the line, this is going to be your job. No, not at all. So it wasn't, I want to make this a career. It was, this will be fun. It was something that I did because I was trying to overcome a fear.

I had made a goal for myself. I remember it was in high school, you know, when they give you like the little planners. Did you guys get planners in school? No, like a calendar? Trapper keeper? Like a calendar? Trapper keeper? Like a calendar? You know, like a daily planner. Okay.

So they would hand out a daily planner every year. And one year in high school- I didn't have those in my high school. We didn't plan anything. I think it was something that happened when I was later in high school. So I didn't have it starting off. But I remember in this planner, there were quotes every single day. And one of them encouraged people.

It's basically said the best way to gain confidence is to do the things that you're afraid of doing. And so when I read that, that stuck with me. And I decided I'm going to make this a goal for myself to do things that I're afraid of doing. And so when I read that, that stuck with me and I decided I'm going to make this a goal for myself to do things that I'm afraid of. And I was so shy, so, so, so, so shy. But I always had all of these thoughts and ideas and I wanted to be able to share them with people. And I had discovered out of boredom one summer people making videos on YouTube. And I was a tomboy for most of my life. And I had just started getting into makeup around like 1920, more so 20. And I didn't really have anyone around me in my life that I could talk to it, you know, talk about makeup with.

And so I found these girls, you know, doing hauls, talking about makeup. And I was like, oh my God, I'm learning so much. And I decided maybe I should combine something that I'm really afraid of talking to people that I don't know and something that I find really interesting right now that I'm currently learning a lot about. Put those two things together and like just put myself out there and make myself vulnerable and do something that I'm really afraid of. And it was something that I did for myself. So when I posted that video, it felt really great. And no one watched it for a while. And I felt really good. I was like,

oh, my God, I just did something that I was terrified of and then I realized after a couple weeks people started watching the video and uh that's when I freaked out a little bit because I was like oh my god these are real people like leaving comments on this video watching it it, responding to it. Oh, my gosh. So that was something else that I had to process. But ultimately, people encouraged me to keep posting videos. And I decided, well, you know, it still really freaks me out, but I feel a little bit better. So I'm going to keep doing it. And eventually, I just started to grow into myself more, more and more and more. And I really just grew to love it so much.

I loved it from the beginning and I just grew to love it even more. I think, you know, I find it interesting. I think, and I don't know if all your fans already knew this, that the makeup thing was kind of a late development and you were almost kind of like learning at the same time that you were teaching. Yeah. How can I phrase this?

Was there anything going on in your life at that time, 1920, where you were kind of dealing with thoughts about your sexuality and you thought, well, maybe I'll do some of this stuff that's more traditionally considered girly as a way to combat what's going on with me inside. Well, I mean- So conquering one fear of putting yourself out there,

but also insulating yourself more by meeting expectations of like a stereotypical non-lesbian no i i don't think it had anything to do with that i think i just genuinely had an interest for makeup and fashion and it wasn't something that i really explored in the past and i was like this is now interesting to me and it had nothing to do with you my sexuality, which at that point was very suppressed, especially, you know, when you're at that age and people are hooking up with each other. And I'm just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

My body wants to do all these things. And oh, my God. So the channel started to take off, like really ramp up. Were you doing a lot of videos, like every week? I mean, it actually grew pretty steadily and slowly. It wasn't like an overnight success or anything, which I really loved because I was able to form like an intimate relationship with the people that were watching my videos and also with other creators that were watching my videos. And also with other creators that were doing similar things. And it just kind of slowly grew from there.

Sorry, what was the question? Yeah, just how often you were posting and how quickly it grew. Oh, how often. I didn't really have a schedule at that point. It's just whenever I had free time to film some videos, I would. But was it always a slow growth or did something really pop? Like, oh, this lipstick is really red. This one really popped.

This is the reddest of all the reds. Um, I think it's always been just very steady, gradual growth. I mean, it's been, you know, more and more, but I don't think there was ever a time where it was like, this is the big peak moment or anything like that. It's always just been like, do-do-do, just steadily going. And I think that's, you know, that's actually what I prefer because I think if it had been this really quick success, I would have probably backed out from it because I would have felt overwhelmed. But because I started off with like this small group of people

that I, you know, would, I would answer all of their comments. I was forming intimate relationships with other creators and developing real friendships that I still have to this day. It was something really special and I wouldn't want to change that. I wouldn't want to go back and be an overnight success. I really loved that period of time where I had that slow, gradual growth. Okay. So let's come up to the present. You're living in the post coming out mega video. And so now what? And I guess specifically, okay.

Let's talk about the Hagrid thing. Oh my God. Okay, so here's- Like from Harry Potter, right? Yes, the character. So the next video you release, two videos later, it's a video with Hannah Hart. And it's the first in your series of Sense of Self,

which is really cool. First of all, tell us about that series. I want everyone to know about that. Sense of Self is a series that I just started on my channel where it basically stems from my personal nosiness. I love looking into people's homes. And when I was in New York at this Airbnb, I would walk down the street and I would actually go up people's stoops and like look in their windows.

You would peek in. Yeah. I mean, nobody- With a video camera and then you made a You would peek in. Yeah, I mean nobody- With a video camera and then you made a series out of it. Yeah, pretty much. That's exactly what it is. It's Cribs meets Ingrid. Yeah, so I wanted-

With YouTubers. Exactly. Like I wanted to go into YouTubers' spaces and show people things that they may not know about, especially because a lot of people shoot within their personal space or they have a studio and there are these things that people may see around, but they don't know the story behind them. And I find the people in my life fascinating. I think YouTubers are fascinating. So I wanted people to learn more about some of their favorite people. But the first person you choose is Hannah Hart.

And so the comments explode, cause I mean, this is basically within a week or two of your coming out video. And they're just talking about how, okay, I ship them. I ship them so hard, you know, putting you guys in this relationship together. And so now, you know, we're just, we're together and so now, you know, we're gonna play right into that, but there was at least one comment,

I'm sure there were many of these too. Don't ship them just because they're gay. I was just gonna say there were people who, you know, people who would say, you know, don't ship them, they're real people and just because they're lesbians doesn't mean they have to date, you know? So there were those comments too. But you did describe Hannah as a wonderful dinner

that lingers late into the evening that you want to keep going. Oh my God, how red is my face? That's why we light it dimly. Red is my lipstick? It's dimly lit in here, I can't even tell. Okay, great. And then you were on My Drunk Kitchen.

It was kind of like you guys exchanged, she was on your show, you were on the My Drunk Kitchen. It was kind of like you guys exchanged. She was on your show. You were on her show. Yeah. I mean, Hannah and I have always gotten along really well. And I think that we've always just had a really great connection. And I've always found her to be one of the most interesting people in my life. I think she has an incredible story, and I think she's a wonderful person. So I thought she was the perfect person to start that series off with. Well, if the internet is shipping you guys, are you shipping you guys?

All right, I'm just going to say yes. I ship it, but i will let you guys know that the official name voted by people on tumblr is handgrid and not hagrid okay uh yes handgrid okay that apparently there was an official vote i didn't know that people so there was a hagrid but that sounds there was there was a hat this is Is it bad that I know this much? But people... It was either people really loved Hagrid because, you know, Harry Potter,

or they really didn't like Hagrid because of Harry Potter because it was too hard to search because all of the Harry Potter stuff that would be up. Or vice versa. Maybe Harry Potter people were just like, what is this?

Who are these people that are just showing up? So I guess there was an official vote that happened sometime, but I just saw this on Tumblr and it was reposted a bunch and people voted on hand. So to clarify, based on that official vote, you are now officially dating. That official vote. Oh my God.

Are you guys really doing this to me? No, we're not. Okay, so your vlog at the end you said, I'm so excited. Just in moving on with your life, I mean, I just wanted to kind of unpack that a little bit. That was how you ended this vlog. For 19 minutes you talk about,

guys, this is what I've been through. This has been my life. And I found it extremely inspiring that you were able to say that at the end. And I felt great for you. So unpack that a little bit, the I'm so excited. I didn't know exactly what was to come. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I just felt so optimistic because I was essentially giving myself permission to live a full, happy life. And I think that a lot of people who find themselves unhappy realize that a big barrier in the road to happiness is themselves.

And it just – it feels so wonderful to be on the other side and just exploring this open life. I think one of the biggest things for me is the relationships that I have around me, I feel like are more honest and they're more true and they're deeper because I've shattered that glass wall and I'm giving myself to people. And in turn, they're giving pieces of themselves that I've never seen to me. And that's something that's so special to me. My relationships are really, really important to me. And it's just been amazing to see sides of people in my life that I've never seen before and to feel like, wow, we have a real relationship now. This is incredible. And I feel the same way with my online community too. I feel like we just, we had a moment

where we just really connected. And now, you know, everybody's just kind of moving forward, which feels great. And there are gonna be bumps in the road, but it just, it feels good to be me. It really does. Well, that vulnerability resonates

through the internet and through real life. And we appreciate you coming on here and being vulnerable with us and being honest. Thank you, thank you. Now it's time to sign the table. Oh my God, I'm so excited. Thanks for coming in. Thank you for having me.

And there you have it, our conversation with Ingrid. Really appreciated being a part of that conversation. And hey, let her know what you think of her story and our talk here. Tweet at her, that's Ingrid Nielsen, N-I-L-S-E-N. Use hashtag Ear Biscuits. I'm sure she would appreciate hearing from you guys. Right, because it's obviously, it's not easy to make the video that she made,

but it's also not easy to come on here and talk to us, asking her a bunch of questions about it. Be grilled about it, yeah. And so yeah, so just let her know that you appreciate that. I know we did. I think that's one of the great things about having a longer conversation with somebody is you're actually able to get context

that you don't always get when you're just hearing from one person in a vlog, so thanks to Ingrid. And you know you can count on us to contextualize more conversations. We're gonna do that next week, so you can count on us to bring another one into your ears. And in the meantime, you can support entertainment by getting some merch at RhettandLink.com slash store.

We got bobbleheads, we got hoodies, posters, wristbands, shirts, coffee mugs, hoverboards, and Foley catheters. Oh, check that out, rhettandlink.com slash store. Thanks for your support, guys. And for your ears, for giving us your ears. Just one hour a week, that's all we need. Like don't mail us your ears. Don't even put that thought into people's heads.

Erase that thought from your head. Like a Van Gogh type thing. Don't do that, please don't do that. We will not open it, not open it. Well, we'll open it and then we'll see that it's in here. No, I can smell in here. We'll close it back.

I can smell in here. Return to cinema.