Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - How Much Do We Know About Orgasms? with Dr. Emily Morse | Ear Biscuits Ep. 348

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Warning: This one might not be for everyone, folks, so listener discretion is advised. Sextember is here! For their first installment, Rhett and Link are joined my Sex Expert Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily Podcast! We’re talking all things buttplugs, and squirting. Dr. Emily explains the best way to approach conversations about sex with your partner, whether you want to talk about your needs or just want to explore something new. Join the Sextember conversation by leaving us a voicemail at 1-888-EARPOD1 And make sure to check out Sex with Emily wherever you get your podcasts! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are kicking off... Sextember!

Oh, that's good. Have we done that before? Sextember! Sextember! Sex-tember! Man, we're having an incredible conversation with a qualified professional who knows all about sex. More than just a couple of boys have been having sex with the same ladies for a long time. And before you give Emily's bio,

just wanna say, hey, this podcast and this iteration of Sex-tember 2022 may not be for you. So use your own discretion if you wanna keep listening. The disclaimer is- You might wanna say why. The reason why is because we talk very specifically and explicitly about sex, okay? So we're not holding anything back. We're not beating around the bush. explicitly about sex, okay?

So we're not holding anything back. We're not beating around the bush. Man, we're already there. So proceed informed, you know? Make an informed decision if you wanna be a part of this, but I gotta tell you, if you're up for it, this could be really encouraging. It could be really enlightening. It could be really educational.

I think it's a great conversation. It could be really exciting. And we're breaking down the stigmas. We can talk about sex. Yeah. And we don't have to- Not just in September, but that is kind of what we do. We don't have to apologize for it.

Right. So give the bio and then let's get into it with Emily. Emily Morse is a doctor of human sexuality and a sex therapist. She's recognized as one of today's most insightful sex educators, challenging cultural taboos, misinformation, and awkward sex talks.

Love it. To create a future where people can deeply connect and shamelessly embrace pleasure. Love it. She's the host of Sex with Emily, a podcast that's been going for a long time. 2005 is what she told us. It might be the preeminent sex podcast.

I'm gonna say that it is the preeminent sex podcast. She's inspired millions of people to normalize sex and pleasure by creating a safe space where people can explore. And that's exactly what we did with her in this episode. We explored many topics. Yeah, right off the bat. Here it is. Emily, thanks for being here.

Thanks for having me. Now we talk about sex one month out of the year. You talk about sex all the time. Yeah. Well, speak for yourself, man. You talk about, okay, well, I mean, off the show, we'll talk about sex all the time. Yeah. Well, speak for yourself, man. You talk about, okay, well, I mean, off the show, we'll talk about sex. And publicly every once in a while.

You just go out in public and talk about sex? On the street corners, yeah, yeah. Okay. So, okay, yeah. Good for you, man. Well, okay, I'm not gonna assume that you know anything about our background, but I'm just gonna, so one of the reasons that we waited to talk about sex publicly

is our very, we come from a very conservative, evangelical Christian background that we have since exited that world. Okay. And of course, so there was a lot of like, hey, if we're gonna talk about sex, you gotta talk about it in the right context, et cetera. And so it took us a while to get to a place

where it was like, hey, let's just rip the bandaid off and just tell people that this is actually how we think. And it's been incredibly freeing to be able to discuss this stuff. But we haven't ever really discussed it with a professional before. Okay, okay. We're just going off our experience.

It's time. And all our experience is with one woman each. Oh, with your wives, with your partners. That's right. Well, especially, well, thanks for that background because growing up in an environment, like, let me just say this. Most people on the planet

are not comfortable talking about sex. It makes them uncomfortable. Obviously, they're not comfortable. There's a lot of judgment. There's a lot of fear, especially who grew up in very religious backgrounds. I think a lot of my listeners are people who are either still in that space

or have moved beyond that space or left that space, but it's still like, how do you start talking about something that was so demonized your entire life? And now we're going to talk about it. So it's mixed messages. And then no matter where you grew up, society doesn't actually welcome it with open arms.

There's so much misinformation about sex. So it's just, I'm just glad that we've all arrived here today is what I'm saying. But I get why it's not easy. We wanna, we're countering that now with just being totally open and saying, I think there's a lot of health and just putting it out there.

And that's why I just want to start by jumping into orgasms. Okay, well... Can we talk about all types of orgasms? I want to have every type of orgasm that can be had. And that's what I want to... I'm sorry, Emily. That's what I want to get out of this conversation. But you know what?

There's no shame in asking that question, but it's just the way you framed it when you said, I wanna jump into orgasms. That was how you, you could've said, let's talk about orgasms, you know. Is there a jumping orgasm? Can I reach climax by jumping? I do think one of those little trampolines,

like the little exercise trampolines, if you jump on one of those long enough and hard enough, I do believe you can have an orgasm online. Really? Well, I mean, you could probably have an orgasm anywhere if you really wanted to. But sure, that would be an interesting place. But I don't think we should jump,

here's the problem with orgasms. We think we should just be able to snap our hands and jump right into orgasms, but it takes a little bit of warm up. Something called foreplay, something called understanding the orgasm. I know that for the most part. I mean,

I'm just saying, when it comes to I mean, I'm not going to have an orgasm right here. I'm just going to have a conversation about it. Right. Exactly. Cool. Because that's a whole different show That's not even my show I want to learn about new orgasms And then I want to

So that I can experience What do you think he means by new orgasms? Unclear Here's the thing I always want to meet people where they're at And I'm not sure what you know about orgasms. What's new to you? Might not be new to someone else.

Do you wanna- Well, I've had an orgasm with my penis. Okay, that's great. That is a penile orgasm. Yeah, okay. That's an orgasm, that's a real orgasm a penile orgasm. Yeah. That's an orgasm. That's a real orgasm. And I love it. I had one of those as well.

I'm a real, I'm a big fan of those. Right? They're a good time. I don't know what other types there are that I could have. Yeah, so why don't we get into that? Especially because you guys are in male bodies because you have penises. I can say all the things here, right? Really, that's a critical term.

You have a penis. People who have penises, they can also have something called a prostate orgasm because men have a prostate. That's through your anus. There's this wonderful little walnut-shaped bunch of clumps of nerve endings in there that you could find about two inches inside with a finger or a toy. Two inches inside of your butt.

Yeah, yeah, about two inches. There's a walnut, yes. Kind of like a walnut. You don't even have to eat walnuts to get it. I've heard about this. This is a good one to start with because I've never had one of these. But I did have a friend one time who told me that if I,

that I, he described it and I was like, oh my God, I gotta have one of these. Are you talking about the milking of the prostate? Is that what you're talking about? I don't know what I'm talking about. What is it? What is it like? What do you do to the walnut?

Okay, so. You said two inches? It's about an inch and a half, two. You gotta find it, kind of find it yourself, or someone could find it for you. But it's sort of like you could put a finger inside and it takes a little bit of practice, but it's like a come hither motion towards your belly button. And

it's similar to how to find a G spot on a female partner in the sense of it's that same motion, like towards the belly button. I don't know why my hands are like this. I am too. I'm showing you. And so, yeah, that's how you find it. And so what happens is it's sort of responsible for, yeah, it can help. The amazing thing about it and the reason why you don't know about it is because there's a lot of people who believe that if they ever explored that area, the prostate and what could feel amazing, that it would somehow define their sexuality. Like maybe it'll make me gay. Maybe people think things. And, and I don't think that, that, that the, um, that the gay community particularly has, has a, um, you know, a lockdown

on the prostate market. It just means that they like kind of discovered it in other ways that we feel shame about, but I'm telling you a sex act doesn't make you gay. If you were into it, which I hope that you might be after today, that's amazing. And there has to be some exploring and some, you know, hunting around, but once you find it, it can feel incredible. And it's sort of stimulating this different part. So it's different than a, uh, your regular orgasm. It's different than orgasming with your penis because you're stimulating the prostate, which is like seminal fluid in it. And you kind of, it feels different, but it can feel incredible. So for the majority of penis owners, as I call them on my show,

they say that it's a very intense feeling that they feel throughout their whole body. And it's a little bit more, you know, intense. And yeah, not even- More intense than a- Yes. Than I was gonna say a normal orgasm, but I don't wanna say that,

cause that's, than a wiener orgasm. Way more intense. I didn't know I was gonna have to go here so early in this conversation. If you're about to tell me that you've had one of these and you haven't told me about it, I'm gonna be pretty mad. I don't tell you everything, man.

But this is, I mean, if this is like a earth shattering orgasm and you're like keeping it to yourself, I had to talk to another friend who told me about it. I think I know who you're talking about. So, okay, well, you tell me this. So, what I'll say is that I don't necessarily think that I, you know, my wife and I have figured out like the,

what you might call the milking of the prostate. But isn't there a similar thing? Is that a thing? Oh man. Did he just make that up? I wasn't- No, milking the prostate is stimulating the prostate. I'm glad that I did not think about this ahead of time.

Does milk come out of it? It's seminal fluid, dude. Seminal fluid. So- Comes out of where? Okay, do you know- It produces the fluid in semen, but it's like the size of the shape of the walnut, but there's also the seminal fluid that comes out of it.

Like, so we used to call it- So you ejaculate. Hold on, let me, I know a little bit about this. We used to call it pre-cum when we were growing up, right? You remember that, like, especially when you were a teenager and you were hanging out with a hot girl and spending time with her, and then all of a sudden, you get home.

And for me, I honestly didn't even have to, nothing had to happen. Sometimes it was just like something could happen and just the thought of something could happen. You get home and you look in your drawers and you're like, there was some stuff happening where I was getting ready for this, right? That's seminal fluid, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've experienced this, right? Yes. So, yes. I love that, by the way. So here's what I will tell you, and I'm just, I can't, I thought we would warm up to this, but you're the one who decided we would get into this.

No, man, jump into it. We jump into orgasms. This is not sex. This is conversation about sex. We've got to jump into it. So I have experimented with a butt plug. Nice. Yeah, nervous laughing.

Greg, that's a great way. Is this surprising to you? It's offensive great way to... Is this surprising to you? It's offensive to me. Why is it offensive to you? Because you didn't share it with me. I'm not gonna share my butt plug with you, man. Like, that's unsanitary. You're not really supposed to share it with your partner

unless you like boil it ahead of time. A boiling butt plug? That sounds like torture. No, you wait for it to cool before you insert it. I meant share the experience, not the experience. Like, loop me in, like an email. An email would've been nice. The correct term is lube you in, actually.

Because lube is very important. Just like a DM, just anything that's like, a text maybe. Emily, so. Ask me about butt plugs. What I'll say is that this intrigued me, this intrigued me a while ago. I think the first time I experimented with one,

I mean, I think it was probably 15 years ago. I was still very much like a evangelical, Christian, conservative, but my view towards sex and the way that my wife and I think about sex has always been very open and kind of adventurous. But it was kind of like, I don't know, kind of makes me feel like I'm about to take a shit and like I didn't know how to really embrace it.

So it hasn't been something that has happened. But you purchased one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you plugged your butt. Yeah, with a very small one. Yeah. And then, you didn't come to work that way, did you? No, but I know from listening to Emily's podcast

that there are people who will go to work and wear a butt plug all day, right? Yeah, yeah. Some people, you learn that from, yeah, people probably called in and asked how long is too long to wear a butt plug? I mean, it's not a common question, but you know, there's some sanitary issues,

so I wouldn't wear it all day long, you know? Just like anything, you probably gotta change it after, well, maybe's some sanitary issues, so I wouldn't wear it all day long, you know, just like anything. You probably got to change it after maybe a few hours is max. But some people really love the sensation of having something. And this goes for all genders. It can feel really hot to have something inside of you all day because there's all these nerve endings. I think we need to break down why it feels good, too. OK.

There's so many nerves. Are you still OK? Are you recovered from the fact that Rhett didn't share this with you? Are we good. Okay, yeah, please. There's so many nerve, are you still okay? You recovered from the fact that Rhett didn't share this with you. Are we good to move on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, just to use an analogy, I feel like we jumped right into this sex-tempo conversation

and I was thinking that I was personally, like proverbially gonna be lubed up a little bit before I put the butt plug in, so to speak. And I just feel like you kind of forced me into it, to be frank with you. Sorry. And there wasn't consent. Let's get on it. There wasn't consent.

I just said, sorry, I'm just ass. Like, that's literally where I left that statement. I don't know why I meant to say asking the penetrating questions. But what I will say, which I think is what you're getting at here, Emily, is that there is a, there's a point in which you're like,

I understand the additional sensation that this offers, the additional seminal fluid that this offers, the situation. It hasn't been the kind of thing that like, I know just from, you know, reading that there are some people who are like, hey, once I went back, once I went through that, I never went back,

and I always have went in every time I have sex. That's not my experience, but I definitely think it's worth experimenting with and there might be some benefits. So Emily. I can send you a butt plug. We can talk after the show.

Hold on. Is that merch? Do you have like a, yeah, do you have a proprietary butt plug? Yeah, no, but I get so many sent to me. Prostate toys to test. Oh, we need people to test them all the time. But you don't even have to report back just as a gift.

My gift to you. Which seems like I'm the one who needs it. Does the butt plug stimulate the prostate? And so it gives you a prostate orgasm. I almost want my assistant to run, because we actually are recording my house now, so she can almost go run and grab a butt plug and a prostate toy to show you,

because we're on video, like you know where they are, they're actually labeled in there. Jenna's our assistant. Jenna, can you run and grab Brett's butt plug? Do you know about this? Yeah, I know exactly where it is. Is this literally? That is the first, we gave Jenna this literally? That is the first.

We gave Jenna a mic. That is the first thing she ever said that she knew where her butt plug was. They gave me a mic for a person with a vulva's point of view on this end. Good. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you're here. Truly, truly. But anyway, where were we?

So yes, a butt plug is is great and that can be used all genders butt plug can put it inside and it feels great um because there's so many nerve endings right inside like a butt plug might only go in like an inch or two which i know that said that's where the prostate is but it's a little bit harder to find with a butt plug a butt a butt plug will not necessarily stimulate the entire prostate however a prostate toy which is shaped like the internal part of a prostate that like your prostate it's a little bit longer it has some vibrations that go inside it can also vibrate oh here we go this might be your oh i don't know if any of these are prostate toys oh they're not prostate it might be hard to find the tantra oh that is so funny what's the

line they're like black, let me find them. And they, I don't know, we'll have to point a picture, but this is okay. These are all the butt plugs I just happen to have in my storage. Is that just a big box or is that a big butt plug? Or does that have a remote control? Yes, you guys, so much has happened in these years.

I'm telling you, Rhett, since you used your last butt plug, you guys, I can send whatever you're interested to, they also don't come in pink if you want like a black one or a blue one. But this is one by V-Vibe, but it has a remote control. There's other ones that you could use with your phone where you digitally, like you could send your partner. You can make calls with the butt plug?

I'm not gonna listen, I'm not talking, I am not talking to my mom through a butt plug. If my mom calls me up while I've got that thing in me, I am not answering, okay? No, I recommend that. That's a strong no, but you can have your partner control it from a phone. What happens with it? It just vibrates?

So some of these vibrate. Some don't. But you put them inside, and it just sort of like this one is a great this is by we vibe it's like it's called the ditto and if this one does vibrate it goes inside and this part also here goes inside but this stimulates the perineum which is like the taint the taint like a taint yes oh you know the taint is taint your ass taint your balls is what they say this part is really sensitive to men too, like right before the, yeah, the taint,

the area right there. So if this goes inside of you, this butt plug, then right here, this also vibrates and you can just kind of push it up against. It's like everything that you put in your butt should have a flared edge. It should flare so it doesn't get lost. So you don't have to go to the ER

and be one of those stories. You don't want to be on the show sex takes you, did sex send you to the ER. You don't want to be on the show sex takes you to sex, send you to the ER. Unless you do want to be on that show. Do any of these products, because I think where we might be able to really get Link involved in this, do any of these remote control butt plugs

also double as like a Bluetooth speaker? Because I feel like if he could pump hip hop to his ass, this is the kind of thing that he would love. That might be your entry point. Like in Tribe Called Quest. Well, the entry point is the anus. I understand that. There is another company that makes one

that you can set to your playlist and it will vibrate along with your playlist. Yes. Oh, yes. This, okay, thank you, good job. to your playlist and it will vibrate along with your playlist. Yes. Oh, yes. This. Okay, thank you. Good job.

So tell me how to use this thing. Let's just, yeah, exactly. I'm getting really over head here on all the things. So what you do is you, so this is just a program. Okay, so this one is the prostate toy. Can you see this? Progasm 20 anniversary. Dang, there's so much tech. You guys, I'm obsessed with this brand because Aneros knows all about it. So this one looks a little bit more like your prostate, right? This one fits in a little bit more snug. But I recommend

for any kind of anal play, starting with something a little smaller, like a butt plug, okay? Okay. How you start is, the first thing i would recommend if you haven't ever even ventured into that area then maybe when you're having your alone time like if it's your masturbating or with your partner your wife to first just explore anal play like what does it actually feel like even to have a finger outside of my anus because there's a lot of like muscles that feel really great like the sphincter muscles are very Sensitive in that area like you don't want to go from zero to anal is all I'm saying like yeah, let's build up

That's gonna be then that's gonna be the name of this episode zero to anal That's exactly what we did yes That's exactly what we did. Yes. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away?

You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy a room upgrade. Wherever you late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx.

Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. So you want to start out with fingers, maybe your own fingers or your partner's fingers. You want to always make sure that your hands are clean, your fingernails are trimmed, you or your partners or probably everyone's. And you want to use a lot of lube because the anus is not self-lubricating. So you want to make sure you use lube and you explore and you think like, well, and you just kind of maybe use a finger. What does that feel like to even have something inside of me? I wouldn't go from like zero to like a bigger toy at first. So you try that out and you go very slow and you communicate well with your partner

and you're like, oh, that actually does feel good or might feel good. And then you can graduate to a butt plug. Again, you put that in slowly. It was a ceremony. When you graduate to the butt plug, there is a ceremony. There's a tassel and everything. Just so you know.

I can send you my gown. Okay. Will your mom be at my ceremony? Yeah, yeah, my dad will be filming it with his little video camera too because he films all my graduations. This'll be one he's never, like the likes he's never seen.

Is there a question for you, Emily? I wanna know is there any other prep? Because once I started talking about the good stuff, I don't wanna have to go back and talk about the- Make sure that you're bow empty. Make sure that you don't need to go number two. Well, here's the thing. Hygiene, so let's just be talking about all the worries

that people have and that's one of them. Like first is like, is it going to make me like, people will think I'm gay if I'm not gay. That's bullshit. Yeah. We're, we're over that. Thank God.

Okay, good. Okay. The other thing is, we know what makes you gay and it's who you are. Yeah. It's who you are, who you sleep with,

perhaps. Not a toy. So after you, we feel good about that. The hygiene part is about just cleaning out your bowel. Like cleaning, I mean, you know when you've gone to the bathroom and you haven't. So typically, most of us-

Sometimes, as I get older, it's harder to figure out. Let's not, I want to hear this part, but I don't want to dwell on it. Okay, go ahead. We're gonna go very quickly. This is a barrier. This is a barrier for me. Okay, so we're going to talk about it. So you know you know when you've gone or you haven't.

Like if it's been 12 hours and you've gone, let's say you know this is my natural bowel cycle. Okay, I got that. So you're pretty much fine. If it's like, oh, I had a really big meal last night, I had lots of beans, rice, whatever, I haven't gone yet, not the best day to try it. Right.

But there's also enemas. Okay, so is there any more, is there another level of clean? Like I'm a fan of cleaning all types of things. Matter of fact, but my problem is I clean things too much. Well, this is okay, again, I happened to listen to the right episode and so it's very fresh in my memory. Well, this is, okay, again, I happened to listen to the right episode, so it's very fresh in my memory.

I love this. The doctor that you were talking to the first half of your, the anal episode, he has his own, essentially, like, he has his own anal douche. What's it called? Future? Yeah, Future Method. Dr. Evan Goldstein. Yeah, Future Method. I have a, I can't even, I have a bidet.

Oh. Well, that'll take care of some of it, but. Some of it. But, but. Let's see, here's the thing is that, okay, so I actually talked about, I think I talked about this on the podcast, is that, maybe I didn't, well, but we're already here, so every once in a while, I told you, cause you do the same thing,

there's been a couple of times when you're about to travel, I know when I'm about to travel, and I'm like, I'm gonna be on a plane today, I'm gonna, I've gotta get, there's a connection, I don't like shitting on a plane, or really at an airport. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a big fan of like, do a little enema. Enema.

The travel enema. I have to travel with an enema, because I get all clogged up. So I'm totally good with an enema. I love an enema. But see, I'm pulling you back from that because what I learned on Emily's podcast from the doctor that, what's his name?

Dr. Evan Goldstein. Evan Goldstein. If you're just using like water or it's like a traditional enema solution, you're actually like taking things out of the lining that's like a protective lining. So he's got some like pH balance special blend. Okay. He's got a proprietary blend.

Some guy's trying to sell me something, I get it. But also he is, but let me tell you this, you don't need to. You could go to the grocery store, you go to the store, wherever you buy your edamame, and you can buy the edamame that comes with the vinegar. Pour out all that vinegar. Don't use that.

And then just use the hot water and do that and then flush it through your system one or two times so you feel everything's out. Okay, okay, I'm good there. That's easy, right? Just do that. And then you have confidence. You don't need the vinegar.

Yeah. That it's not a question. So you've done a little anal play is what I hear. I mean, if you wanna call- It's always felt like an emergency situation. I know, but I'm saying that like, I would say that you are, and I'm not speaking for all men,

or all men who grew up in our environment with our background, but we are all uncomfortable with the idea of, like, the asshole, right? And so, but... The dookie shoot, as you call it. The fact that you are doing an enema, a pre-travel enema,

and then talking about it on the internet, you're way ahead of the game. Yes. Right. You know, you're ready to go on to middle school and then the graduation into the butt plug zone. But the question- I'm gonna lap you, buddy. This is not a competition.

The question I have for you, Emily, is how do you address couples or people in general who are like, man, we aren't even having sex on a regular basis or we're not even talking about sex or we do it the same way every single time. So we are seven layers removed from butt plug graduation mode. Right.

What do you think is the key to, because I think the thing that we find is that, you know, when you just talk about this stuff and you start exploring it together as a couple, there's a world of fun that you're just leaving on the table if you are just like, ah, this makes me feel uncomfortable. And I'm not trying to shame anybody who's not, you know, who may not be as comfortable. You don't have to be comfortable with all this stuff. That doesn't make you normal or abnormal or whatever. But if you kinda

are interested and you want to do this, but the idea of broaching this topic with your partner is something that makes your sphincter completely shrivel up, how do you address those people? Such a good question because, Mo, I would say again, I love this question because this is the challenge. Most couples have a hard time talking about sex and most couples in long-term relationships have gotten or will get to the point where sex has become kind of

mundane, rote, a little bit stale, and maybe they even stopped having sex and they literally don't know what to do, how to talk about it, or where to start again to kind of bring back that spark. And if you haven't talked about sex and nothing's been happening well, again, I probably wouldn't go from not talking about sex to anal. Like I would probably start in another area. And so I would recommend is really just I have these three T's of communication. And they've helped many, many people. And it's timing, tone, and turn. Because what I found is that we don't know how to bring this topic up like maybe

you want more sex than your partner or maybe you both realize it hasn't been happening yet you really don't know how to talk about it and you keep hoping it's going to get better or one day your partner's going to come home be like I'm ready and and it's just or that's just dead it's just died and the first thing I want to do is normalize that for every couple that is in a long-term relationship i hate saying every because it's like no we haven't fine but the majority 99 percent of couples are going to get to a point where they get into a sexual rut um and that's because we don't talk about sex we are not comfortable with it and we assume that when there's a problem with our sex life it probably means either like we shouldn't be together anymore it's something i did wrong i'm no longer

attractive my partner doesn't find me attractive and we create all these stories in our head and since we don't have a lot of great examples of people talking about sex we just decide to say nothing so with time and tone and turf which is a great way to have it you've never like i'm going to assume for the majority of listening it's gotten's gotten stale, or for you guys, maybe. I know you didn't say that, but you're not really sure how to broach it. And so, the timing is when you are just hanging out. You're not halt, I like to say, hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. So, make sure none of those things are happening, but you're in a good place. I'm always hungry though. I know. Well, one of them, at least you're not so hungry that you're going to be cranky. And then, so that's the, that's the, um, that's the timing. Like,

it's not going to be after the last time you got frustrated that the sex didn't happen. And then you're like, why didn't it happen again? No, it's that time. And then your tone is compassionate and it's curious. And it's like, hey, I realize that we haven't talked about our sex life in a long time. And I realize that we probably both want to be great lovers to each other. So maybe we can start to figure out ways to talk about it. And I'd let you know that I'd love to find ways to so we can both get our needs met be wonderful lovers to each other have more satisfaction and the conversation just goes from there and then the tone the turf is outside the bedroom many couples think that the conversation

should have in the happen in the bedroom because if you were talking about like a recipe it would happen in the kitchen but the bedroom i believe deeply believe it should be for sleeping and for sex. So to have the conversations when you're on a road trip, you're hanging out together, you're just in a good, mellow space. So you're on my side. You believe no talking in the bedroom. Yeah.

Yeah, not about these things. You can dirty talk in the bedroom. And at what point do you reveal that you've had a butt plug in the whole time? Well, if it has a tail on it, which I haven't done that, you can do that, you can get them with tails. Oh, like a furry tail? Yeah, like a furry tail.

Oh. Yeah, I haven't done that yet, but I feel like, you know, after this conversation, I gotta do something. If you yank on it, does it make raccoon sounds? You don't wanna yank on it. Just a little, a light tug at most. Okay, okay.

All right, that question- That was very, very helpful. That question was very helpful, but honestly, it just wasn't juicy enough for me. What's another orgasm that I can have? Oh, we're back to orgasms. Okay, another one that you can have or that your partner can have.

Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine?

No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details.

Yeah, let's focus on what our partner's going to experience. Okay, let's talk about the partner. Okay. So what kind of orgasms do we know about with our partners? So you've got the clitoral orgasm, and then you've got the vaginal orgasm, and those are different, even though the clitoris can extend all the way inside, depending on the person's anatomy,

it goes further than others. So I'm familiar with these concepts. Good, I love this. We're so good. So there is a clitoral orgasm, which we all know the clitoris, we might not know, has 8,000 nerve endings. I'm actually gonna show you another prop here.

My little puppet. We've got a, you got a clitoris puppet? Yes, please. Oh, I do. I wonder what voice she's gonna use for it. Oh, that's a good point. Hello, this is your vulva. I think you need to go again,

like go like Oscar the Grouch. Oscar the Grouch, Eeyore. No, you don't wanna do that. Oh my God, not hot Oscar the Grouch. What does he do? Oh,ore. Oh my God, not Oscar the Grouch. What does he do? Oh, he's asking for a cookie. That's a cookie monster. I don't know if I can break it to Arthur.

I don't think I can break it to Oscar the Grouch, but you guys can narrate the vulva. No, you do it. Don't let, no. I'm the left vulva. Are you the right one? No, I'm not. You'd be the right vulva.

I'm not going to be one half of a vulva puppet with you. I'm sorry. Look up here in between us. Look at that man in the boat. Yeah, that's good, good. Although there's only one vulva. There's only one vulva, but you could be the labias. There's two labias.

Oh yeah, see, look at that. You could be the left eye to the right. Yeah, you're talking about right and left vulvas, man. I'm the left labia. Oh yeah, see, look at that. It could be the left eye to the right. Yeah, you're talking about right and left vulvas, man. I'm the left labia. So let me just say this, the vulva is referring to the external part of the vagina. Yes. Which a lot of people interchange them, vagina, vag...

Listen, I am guilty of this. You know this. What I said last year, and I've tried to take responsibility for this, but okay, so we talked a little bit about my spiritual background, but I said that I thought that the best evidence for the existence of God is the vagina, right, is my favorite thing in the world. And then everyone went on to tell me that what you're

really talking about is the vulva. Yeah. But it just sounds, when you say it in the context of like a colloquial like Philosophical thing it feels like I know I'm technically wrong But when you say vulva it kind of sounds like in that context you're trying to like prove that you know all the terminology So you're but wait, but why can't you just be wrong about it? Just be wrong, dude I said I'm technically wrong. Just be totally but I'm spiritually right. No, just be totally wrong

Okay, the best existence the best evidence for the existence of God is the vulva. There, I said it. Okay, great. I love it. And the clitoris. And me. I'm with you.

Great. Good. You're gonna tell me that the clitoris has more nerve endings than the head of the penis. I've heard that. Nice! Yes. In fact, the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings and the penis, circumcised penis, has 4,000. Whoa, man.

From an evolutionary standpoint, it's weird that it's separated from the insertion point. separated from the insertion point. Because it seems like, again, just evolutionarily speaking, if you're thinking about procreation, that the insertion of the penis into the vagina should, why aren't the nerve endings down there? I wonder. This is such a good question. I am so glad you brought it up. It's because we've been told,

and you guys might be familiar to this from your upbringing, that sex is all about procreation. Penis goes into vagina. We are procreating. Sex happens, baby's born born and that's the only time we should be having sex that is the marketing machine behind sex that it's procreation but what we've come to find out is that the truth is the majority of people with vulvas will not have an orgasm with penetration for exactly the reasons you're talking about. Because when there is a penis going into here, it is nowhere even scraping or saying hello to the clitoris. So the majority of women, and I would say only 25% of women, have an orgasm with a penis in their vagina.

So procreation, I mean, so penetration was all about procreation. And otherwise you were shamed if you had any other kind of sex in many places in the world. Well, and also in media, like everything we grew up watching, it was just, oh, okay, so when you're having sex with a woman, like you're thrusting, and then eventually she has an orgasm from this act. And you probably have

it exactly the same time if you're really good at it you know and so that was the that was the thought that we all brought into yeah fake fake news fake proper it's fake sexual propaganda was all about that so so what i'm saying is but here's what i want to tell you the good news is so let's just say like these are the labias this. This is the clitoral hood. This is the, this is the clitoris. But just so you know, and I think you mentioned this earlier is that it has 8,000, I mean, you did mention that, but it's not just this little bulb. Do you know that the clitoris has legs that extend deep inside? So here's the actual clitoris and it goes behind this structure. Looks like a wishbone. Exactly. It's a wishbone exactly it's a wishbone and this part right here is the clitoris but everything else is internal so those 8 000 nerve endings are right behind the labia

see what i mean whoa and so when you are stimulating it here that's great but it's also stimulating internally all these areas that feel good with the legs of the clitoris so this is the clitoral legs yeah i think that answers if i go like purely scientific and evolutionary theory here the developmentally the um the clitoris is comparable to the head of the penis, but then as a human develops, it either turns into a penis or it turns into a clitoris and everything else. Based on hormones in the process.

Exactly. And I do think that what, so maybe from an evolutionary standpoint that like the clitoris has gone down there more than I realized. More than you realized. Yeah, the penis and the clitoris has gone down there more than I realized. More than you realized. Yeah, the penis and the clitoris are analogous, truly. And I wanna keep giving you merch ideas,

but I just had another one. I think you need to start selling the clitoral hoodie. Oh. I love that. That just feels like it's gonna sell itself. I mean, it doesn't have to, I mean, it's just a hoodie with maybe like, maybe there's a cool sort of abstract clitoris design on the back or the front,

so you don't really know, but you just, on your website, it's the clitoral hoodie. I also think that Dr. Emily could sell a travel pillow that is shaped like a clitoris. Like this is the entire clitoris. And then you wrap it around your neck and it's a great conversation piece. You're always educating.

And then you're sleeping. What better way to sleep than being wrapped in a clitoris? Great. Swaddled with your clitoris, right? Yeah. I love it. What do we, what do we, what can I do that I haven't been doing?

Well, but before you get to that, To the clitoris. Because I, the, You didn't like that question? No, no, because I don't want to leave this subject yet because first of all, I'm going to have to, I mean, my wife is fine with me talking about a lot of stuff while obviously have to ask her if she,

I'm going to go ahead and just disclose some things and then I'll ask her before we release this episode if this was okay. Perfect. But so, I think she is typical of a lot of women in that the, you know, I would say every orgasm has been a clitoral orgasm, but there has been, over the past 20 years, there has been the quest

for the vaginal orgasm, right? Which is like, oh, I think it's about to happen. Oh, is it, oh, is it, is it, is it gonna happen? And so what do you think about that quest? Is that something that, is it something that you should just abandon? Is it something that- No.

Okay. No, don't ever abandon the exploration of your bodies. And there's a lot of different theories around the internal orgasm aka the g-spot in fact i sort of don't even think it's a spot i think it's more like an area and i also think it's a lot of it's connected to the the clitoral the clitoral legs so when you go inside of here like well first let me first let me tell you this, it's, it's very, the easiest way, or the, one of the first steps to actually having an internal orgasm or G-spot orgasm is making sure that you have a clitoral orgasm first, that you're already stimulated.

You're already turned on because the blood becomes more engorged. You're, you get swollen, you get turned on, and then you're more likely to be able to find the G spot, which much like the prostate is about an inch and a half inside using your fingers in a calm, heather motion, trying to find this little rough area, which could be like the G area. So that's the spot. And it helps again to be aroused. And then you just kind of use that with the finger and just kind of penetrate to kind of like feel around and apply pressure and see where that goes it could be a blended orgasm too when she already has a clitoral orgasm sometimes just easier to have like a blended one so it feels like all of them and again for some people and i believe this too i love a good smoothie

a blended smoothie a blended orgasm smoothie why not they sell that at erwan i think are they sure maybe i don't know um it's way too expensive though and you gotta give them enough um but but yeah so no i i think that with toys and with fingers and with talking about it i think that many many women can find this elusive G-spot, but orgasm, but it's not going to happen through a penis for many. Like if it hasn't happened yet after 20 years, this has nothing to do with your penis. It has everything to do with the anatomy. If you put a hundred women in a room and you looked at all of them touching themselves,

let's say they were all like doing the thing that makes them feel good. They'd all be doing something different because our vaginas, our vulvas are like snowflakes, and they're all different, so every single woman needs something else. So it's a little bit exciting. That's cold! Gotta warm it up! It's like a snowflake! Well, in a room full of dudes, you'd see them doing different stuff. We knew a guy in high school that did a two-hand thing like this. He would make... He did that kind of thing.

Yeah, he did. Remember when you told us that? Well, we didn't witness it, but he did choose to tell us. No, but he just told... I guess one of those conversations where everybody was just disclosing and they were talking about... The double-hand diamond. Well, Link admitted that he uses his left hand, which is just another piece of evidence that he's left-handed.

He also holds a microphone with his left hand. Sorry if you didn't want me to share that. We can edit it out. And then another friend talked about the double thing. So, I mean, guys do it in all kinds of different ways as well. Guys do it all different ways too. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right.

And so, right, we all do it differently, but have fun. And I also recommend couples do this together. Like a mutual masturbation sesh is a super hot thing for couples to do. To be like, I am going to look at what I do. I'm going to turn myself on. You're going to do your thing. And then I'm going to like, there's two reasons why I love this. Because you're going to see what turns your partner on.

And that's really hot to see them touch themselves. But you're also going to learn, like, what are they actually doing? How do they touch themselves if they masturbate? Which I hope they do. Yeah. And then you're also going to learn like what are they actually doing how do they touch themselves if they masturbate which i hope they do yeah and then you just learn you learn and you slow down it's a process but if it hasn't happened all these years and there's nothing wrong with you either because again the majority of women are not and it has to do with their anatomy it has to do with biologically speaking how closely their vaginal opening is to their clitoris. And for those women, they're more likely to have more internal orgasms. But for the other ones, they got to experiment with.

There's some great toys, fingers, taking the pressure off, experimenting, and having a clitoral orgasm first. Those are my best recommendations for that orgasm. orgasm first. Those are my best recommendations for that orgasm. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you,

that thing is... Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. It's a weekly news show. With the best celebrity guests. And hot takes galore.

So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. So, I'm trying to think what else, what else is there down there that can be splendid? Squirting, let's talk about that. Okay, let's talk. What's my question here? Is it pee and does it matter? Is it pee?

Thank you, thank you, that's top question. Okay, well, first of all, squirting, I did a show on squirting. If anyone wants to check it out, Sex with Emily, can you imagine this? It's like the most popular show I've done in 20 years. I had a squirting, I mean, people just love talking about squirting, but what it is, is it is liquids for its parurethral fluids. There are traces of urine.

They have done studies of women who completely empty their bladders and then they have an orgasm and then yes there's still urine in it um my answer to that is so what who cares does it feel good throw a sheet down but there's a lot of debate like is it pee is it whatever so i don't know like if we want to spend time there, great, but I don't think it matters. But what I can say is that for many women, they can squirt or female ejaculate by stimulating the female prostate, which we also have one as well. Where is that? The female prostate is sort of inside the vaginal. I think you guys should just listen to this show we did with Deborah Sandel, who like

in the 70s started like teaching women to squirt but the prostate is like once you get aroused and engorged like i said it's like a little area right behind the vaginal wall where you might be fighting looking for the g-spot okay and you can see it on the front swells still on the front side okay and it swells and eventually that also has prosthetic fluid in it and when stimulated a woman can ejaculate now here's the thing about ejaculation it can feel amazing like an incredible release but it's not necessarily if you can squirt and not orgasm you can orgasm and not squirt so i think that squirting became really popular during like with the advent of porn or with porn being in our available in our pocket, in our pocket all the time. And since time to see so much, so many more women squirting.

So I just have gotten so many more questions about it since then. But it's definitely like a fun thing to explore. You can help your partner do it using fingers or your penis or a toy and really it just comes from continued pressure to that internally pressure pressure pressure feeling a release and then she can release and learn i think that many women can learn to score it and just take some time because it gives you this it's a different type of i i can relate to it because like with an ejaculation there's a sense of completion is that would you describe it in that way it's not necessarily completion so what i was saying for many women they have one

and they just feel released and it feels really good, but it's not necessarily an orgasm. Now, some women have it alongside their orgasm. Like they have it with an orgasm and they squirt. And it's just different for all different kinds of women to say if they would define it as completion. But they might define it as like just like a really intense release that could be kind of emotional, physical. And once you know that it is a possibility and you have experienced it, it can be this thing where,

well, we gotta go until that happens because I think that's kind of what you're getting at. Like that's the sign that- Is that this definition of success has been done. We all get to define what success looks like in a relationship and in an orgasm. That's why I hate to put labels on it. It's like, was it success? How did your partner feel?

Did she feel good, bad? Did she feel like it was a pain in the ass or a pain in her vulva? Did she feel like it wasn't a fun thing to to do like that's to me is what successful sex is or did we talk about it did we both get our needs met whatever our needs were that day was there some aftercare we cuddled after we talked about things like to me that's a successful romp okay well let's talk about missionary. Not just because we used to be missionaries, which is no exaggeration. Could I? I just had one.

Okay. Yes. Jenna has one. Let's give Jenna one. Jenna, where have you been my whole life? Yes. I was like, hi. One thing.

To go back with squirting, well, like the first thing with that was there's such an interesting, because I am a Volvo owner who has squirted in the past. And I think one of the things that's so interesting about it is there's a weird mix of, oh, that's so amazing. And, and shame as well. Like I totally have been with a partner before and I have squirted. And then my partner was like, oh, gosh, what is all of this? And it made me feel like what it was like. And it was early on in my like sexual like awakening, I suppose.

So like still trying to feel comfortable. So I know a lot of other women have experienced that. I'm also one of the 25% as well who can have the vaginal. But that was something that I learned on like solo, trying out things with myself, masturbating. Like that was like in my own sexual awakening separate from a partner. But then having those discussions with partners now

of just like, you're gonna be chill with all this stuff, right? Like this is a good thing. Yeah, I'm so glad you brought this up you just brought up like so many great points the first thing is that like yeah a lot of us have been shamed by a partner that's i once had a partner who's like i remember like i got my period or something and he was like oh god like we gotta change the sheets and take a shower and like call 911 i'm like are you fucking kidding me like it was a great sec so so then we get shamed like i have to change the sheets and take a shower and like call 911. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, it was a great sex. So then we get shamed. We're like, I have to put blankets down and sheets down.

And there is that partner who shames us all the time. Like, ew, it's a mess. And yes, I've had guys call in and be like, it's a mess and I don't want it. It's fine. And like, I think like throw a towel down, throw a beach towel down, like do something. There's throws that are just made for sex because sex can be messy um i think if they're not preparing it or maybe they're a little ocd like that just rocked their world so i'm sorry you got shamed that way but i just again yeah we want to move on to partners are like bring it like messy and hot and sex is all those things and

those are the partners that i choose to be with but yet it's you know we all have people from the past that were like that was not a good lesson, you know, we all have people from the past that were like, that was not a good lesson, not a good message that they sent me because now I feel shame about it. But hopefully we can move on from that. Was that, I mean, were you surprised at that time or were you like, this is your...

Oh yeah, I was super surprised. It was the first time that it had happened for me. So I was also like, what? Because like, I didn't really watch porn. So I didn't know necessarily that that is something that is what happens. And then my sexual education was lacking, of course. But then, yeah, I started talking to my girlfriends because my girlfriends and I are all super open with each other.

And I started asking them. I was like, is this weird? He said it was weird and then my friends were like absolutely not fuck him like that's amazing that happened to you I'm so happy for you and like you can find that with somebody who's gonna be like really excited but yeah it was a weird like I had to just feel comfortable sharing the experience and feeling comfortable talking to my friends about it and like i think that's what i suggest for a lot of younger um women who are starting their like sexual journey is like

talk to your friends like as soon as i start talking to my friends we have the best conversations about it like it's great it's great it's exactly it well and, and I mean, that's true for us too. I mean, it's like, I was giving you a hard time about not telling about the butt plug, but there's a lot of stuff that we talked about and encouraged each other. And it's like, oh, I discovered this, or this works for us. Well, I just feel like in the context,

I have to tell this story. So again, this is probably 16, 17 years ago when me and you were emceeing Big Break. Okay, so this is like, this is when we were in it to win it on the Christian missions side, right? And so we were emceeing this conference for Campus Crusade down in Panama City. And it's basically a bunch of college students

coming together and then they go out on the beach and try to talk to people about Jesus. And so we're up there, we're leading the thing doing our comedy stuff in front of all them. Does that make you horny? And at that conference, because the cool thing about it, when being on staff is like,

oh, we get to stay in this nice hotel, and like me and Jessie get this time together, right? And at that time, I don't think we had, maybe it was before we had kids or we left a kid, I left Locke at home, I don't know. But anyway, during that that at that conference in that hotel was the first time that we ever experienced Jesse squirting and Again, and I had I even though I was a good Christian boy

I had watched enough porn to know exactly what had just happened and I was like yes, you know like But yes, it was just so funny that it happened in the context of this place. And we've talked about squirting before. Yeah. So yeah, this thing is not news to me. And then for me, I have this reputation of being, like some people might say OCD or OCPD, but I'm a clean freak and I like

things, you know, certain, I, I, I, I take joy in cleaning things and ordering things and organizing things. But when it comes to sex, there was a decision that I made that was, I don't know when I made it, but it was a long time ago. And I think it was a result of the conversations that we were having. And it was just like, you know what? This is fun. This is an adventure. This is a place for play. This is a place for discovery.

It's not about, you know, as long as you're both on board and you're communicating, the world is your oyster. And so that was kind of my approach. And then saying, you know what, there's something that I might, my knee jerk reaction might be,

oh, this could be dirty. You could see this as dirty, or you could see this as gross. It's like. Well, and that was the advice that we were getting. So the one piece of advice that I got from somebody who actually talked to both of us

before we got married, who was in our lives at the time, was... And again, I think, you know, as much as we talk about our Christian background, the thing I will say is that we did come from a particular tradition

in which, even though there was some very restrictive views on sex and who sex could be with, it was obviously only between a man and a woman and only in the context of marriage. That was sort of the pretense. But within the confines of that, there wasn't a whole lot of shame. It wasn't as shame-based as it is in a lot of traditions.

So I'll say that that's why I think that we ended up having pretty good sex lives from the beginning because we got kind of lucky with the specific people we were talking to. But one of the things that I was told from somebody who kind of mentored me was like, everything's okay, but just stay away from the butthole. And that was, it was just like. That was his one piece of advice.

Yeah, and it was not grounded in anything. Yeah, so I think that that is an idea, and that's just not a Christian idea, that's a cultural idea. So we're back to that, but in general, I'm glad to say that I've reaped the benefits of checking any sort of, I don't know what the word would be,

like just my resistance or hesitancy at the bedroom door and saying, you know what? This is a place for us to have fun together. And so let's be adventurous and let's see what we can discover. And that's led to a whole lot of fun. I think my tendency is actually to just find what works and just go back to it. You know, like I'm a creature of habit.

Like if I find the right answer or if I know where the gold nuggets are, I'm going to go back to that same mine, you know? So I think there's a discipline to saying, okay, I'm going to keep working at this. I'm going to keep building skills and experiences. skills and experiences and that it there it there's some there's a level of commitment and energy involved in like continuing to prioritize your sex life right yeah yeah couples have i mean exactly like couples have to continue to build a dialogue around sex and talk the more people talk about it it becomes way more comfortable and you get to talk about things like all the time to the point where it

becomes as comfortable as talking about the weather you look forward to talking about sex because you now know that you're on the same page all the weird stigmas go by and you're like oh how was that for you you can almost do like a play-by-play like last night what'd you think of that new thing i did with the toy or my finger oh yeah i love this part didn't love that part like that's the world that i want to see couples and people living in where it just sex is like of course we're going to talk about how am i going to know you're not a mind reader i'm not a mind reader so yeah i want couples just to continue to enhance and have these conversations and it's gonna change everything because the couples that talk about sex have better sex.

Well, that's one of the things that- Just to add to that, nothing was more amazing than when I heard the feedback. It was like, wow, that was magical. It felt like a mouse was running out of a garden hose. What? Hey, I guess you had to be there. I'm glad I wasn't.

So that is one of the things that I'm really, that I honestly think has been a key to maintaining a 21-year marriage now. First of all, just blessed with just a natural communication with Jessie that was like, from the very beginning, regardless of the background that we're from, we talked very openly about everything, so the communication has never been an issue,

which I'm just thankful for. Great. Because I know that's not for everybody. Right. And then I kinda see this sort of sexual adventure, for lack of a better word, just a broad term, is like, that's one of the ways you kind of pace out the progression of your relationship.

You know what I'm saying? It's like, even today, you've shown me remote controls and stuff, and I guess I could have told you that those things existed specifically, but we don't have those things in our house. It's just a wonderful time to be alive, right? It's a wonderful time to be alive to know that like, okay, you can kind of pace these things out.

I mean, oh, we're introducing this new thing into our sex lives that we can kind of enjoy for a while. To me, that's one of the ways that it continues to stay sort of that it continues to stay sort of vibrant and continues to get more exciting as you go, is like pacing this stuff out, introducing new things, because I'm the same way in that you're like, okay, well,

which kind of gets back to the conversation I was going to with the missionary thing. Somehow I've garnered the reputation, especially from Trevor, who's one of our Mythical Kitcheneers, that me and Jesse are really into missionary sex. He just really thought that was a funny joke and then really went for it.

And the funny thing is is that, yeah, we kinda are. We're into a lot of things, but I would say that that is, you know, if you were to see a pie chart of all the sex that Jesse and I have had, the majority of the pie chart would be in the missionary position. Well, it gets a bad rap. What's your question?

I don't know if there's a question here as much as why do you think missionary gets a bad rap? Missionary gets a bad rap missionary gets a bad rap because well first it's the position that we just kind of go back to over and over again so it can get really really boring and it's kind of our go-to but there are ways to keep it more interesting and to spice it up it doesn't have to be the way that you understand it to be you know why people i think just because it's the basic position but you can spice it up like with more eye contact there's different ways to uh sit during

it you could be sitting up where your partner comes in like you could be like sitting on the end of the bed where your partner comes in standing like Like I actually just did a podcast on this, Making Missionary Hot. And I talked all about this. Like there's just all these ways that we just kind of do it the same way. And then there's just like different leg positions. There's something called the cat position, which is the coital alignment technique,

where harder to explain today, but literally it's missionary, but your partner on top is just sort of scooted up a little bit further so you have more stimulation on the pelvic floor area that can actually lead to more orgasm so there's just like it gets about that because it's all we know and it's really standard and your partner can just go in and pound away like a jackhammer but I like to give hacks for it well and so but you you see those alterations as still missionary,

because I agree, like, so. If you're facing each other, that's missionary? If, I would just, I would say, yeah, if like the two bodies are facing each other in general, but if all of a sudden your partner puts her legs straight up in the air in like an L shape, I mean, I don't know, we gotta come up with more names, I think, and there's different, we gotta come up with more names, I think.

There's different types of missionaries, man. You've got the Mormons who are doing like two years in foreign countries and stuff. Right. You got the people like us who are going to college campuses. You got people who are going, you know, there's lots of missionaries. The Jesuits are sending people all over the place.

So I just think we need to update the terminology. Like I like to think of the position when you put your legs up, that's like a Jesuit thing because they're always kind of like, I just feel like they're on the cutting edge a lot of times, the Jesuits. I don't know, maybe it's just my lack of experience with Jesuits but they just seem like they're smart

and like doing things. So. I call it the listen to the ears. No, I meant to say, I call it listen to the feet. No, because the feet are by your ears. Yeah. It's like, what are the feet saying? What are the feet saying?

From right here. Okay, Emily, this has been very enlightening. You've got so much knowledge. We came to a gentle landing with the missionary. Well, I would say, to use the prostate analogy, we would like to milk you for just a few more facts, a few more tips. That didn't come out great.

But this is a safe space. So if you could give us three sort of parting tips, sex tips, sex tips for everybody everybody that are like okay okay if you can remember these three things to take with you that we haven't talked about okay so i would say uh foreplay starts after the last orgasm meaning um we foreplay all day continuing to keep that spark alive a lot lot of couples are like, we had sex, we did it. And then the next time you come together, you're like, we don't feel as connected. So send a sexy text in the middle of the day,

like talk about your sex life, keep sex top of mind. It makes your sex easier. Can you dictate that text to me right now? No. Okay. I got it. What's the next hot tip? I mean, the next one would be, I would say communication is a lubrication. The more we talk about sex, the better sex we're going to have. That would be like my timing, tone, and turf stuff, information. And the next thing I would say is slow everything down. Go five times slower than you think. Sex sometimes moves way too fast. And if we like slowly kiss our partner, we slowly undress each other.

We move, like we just sort of put more intentionality and more presence with our partner. I think that we'll find a lot of us will be having more successful sex. Hmm, that's good. Those are good words. You know, you should have like a show or something where you talk about sex

because it just feels like every time you say something it's very insightful and like based and like grounded in facts and evidence-based. You should really think about that. I should, you know what, thank you. That clitoral hoodie thing, you gotta run with that too. That is genius, I wrote it down.

Then travel pillow's mine. Yeah, yeah. I'm taking that one back. As long as you just send us a couple, or four, send us four clitoral hoodies when you come out with that. That's all we ask. Done! Done. Thanks so much, Emily. And Rhett. Thank you for having me.

Did, do you have one in right now? Just be honest. Do I have, no, I don't wear the butt plug to work. But if you want me to start, I will. No, no, no. Not yet. I'm gonna just keep asking myself. Thank you, Emily.

Thank you so much for having me. This was fun. Yeah, hope you learned a lot, listener. Well, that was fun. It was, you know, I love talking about this stuff. I don't want it to necessarily be every single episode, but there's just something about saying that like, hey, you don't have to feel shame and embarrassment

when you say things and talk about these things. It's not an easy barrier to overcome. I love the fact that for the second year in a row, these conversations kind of bring it to the forefront of my mind and say, all right, I'm gonna give a lot more attention to sex and think of new things, be exposed to new principles, techniques. Well, you seem to be-

So yeah, I'm actually very excited to go home today. I will say you took issue with me not telling you about my butt plug experience, which boy, I mean. Maybe you did. Not blocked it out. First of all, I think I have told you about it. Secondly, what are those people on Tumblr

that think me and you have sex with each other are gonna do about this? Like, what are they gonna, like, how did they? I don't think about those people. But the thing I really wanna ask you is, do you want me to tell you every time I do something new? Is that what you're asking? Yeah.

Okay. Yes. All right. Do you want me to send you my old butt plugs when I upgrade to new, more technologically advanced ones? No. Okay. Do you want me to tell you?

See, cause I mean, I try things new too. Like just because, I mean, there's plenty of things I'll try. I need to think about it. I am up for, I believe you man. Every day I'm up for more than I was the day before. I believe you. I'll put it to you that way. Thank you again to Emily Morris,, Dr. Emily Morse. You need to listen to her podcast.

You know, I kind of knew of her, but I had not listened to her actually talk about this stuff. I obviously listened to some of her podcasts before she came in here and I was just like, man, I should be listening to this on a regular basis. Like in just a couple of episodes, I felt like I was like, man, like this is- Been missing out?

I'm a man who has sex with my wife and I just feel like there's this treasure trove of information, but she doesn't just have sex with Emily. She actually just did a masterclass. So- Oh yeah, like officially in the masterclass subscription service. Yeah, yeah, so you can check that out.

So she did the masterclass thing and also lots of resources and more information about Emily at sexwithemily.com. When you're taking your toddlers to the playground, bring your Jambox and play Sex with Emily's podcast. I suggest doing it with headphones on. And make sure that it's going into the headphones and not coming out of your phone.

A lot of times you don't realize that it's coming out of the phone. It's just, you might be a mixed company, so. We got another special guest coming up on the next episode. Emily Nagoski, author of the book. We only speak with Emilys when we talk about this. Come As You Are, great book. Dr. Emily Nagoski.

Only Dr. Emilys. And we are going to be speaking with her. And then week after that, we're gonna be we're gonna open it up to any questions, any sort of I don't know exactly what the prompt is. We'll figure that out. What do we say? It'll be online.

Twitter. Of course, go ahead and leave a voicemail. Let us know what you think about this episode. We love your responses. 1-888-EARPOD1. And, of course, you can use hashtag Ear Biscuits. So we'll speak at you next week. Sex timber continues.

It elongates through the whole month. Hey there, Rhett and Link. This is Kaylee from Michigan. I'm watching your rabbit hole episode, and you're trying to figure out why young people watch podcasts instead of listening to podcasts I'm 25 I feel like I'm in the young demographic

when I am watching a podcast it is because if I listen to it I will start thinking about other things and then miss potentially like 20 to 30 minutes of the podcast and then I have to like rewind and re-listen to it. So I have it on on my TV like in my home while I go and do other things like cook dinner or clean things or like I'm a teacher so I'll like grade

things and then I have something to look up to and it kind of like re-centers the listening and then I don't miss anything. But I don't just sit and watch it like a movie. It's just like on in the background. So I'm listening technically like a regular podcast, but my eyes have something to focus on. Don't know if everyone does it this way, but that is why I do it this way. Thanks so much. Bye. Hi, Rhett and Link. This is Yessie from Florida. I just finished listening to Locke going to a university in Florida, and I wish him the best. I'm from Miami, so University of Miami Hurricanes

was in my childhood. I graduated from the University of Florida, so I'm a Florida Gator, and I married a man who is an SSU, Florida State University, Seminole fan. So Florida, baby, through and through. Bye, guys. Love you. Hey, guys. It's Leslie, the truck driver, going to Nevada as usual every week. Thank you for everything you guys do. Totally love your biscuits.

Never knew that in my 40s and early 50s I would be a groupie for the first time in my life, but I totally am your groupie. Love you guys. Thank you for everything you do. Cannot wait till Mythicon, guys. I don't care if I get six feet from you, 100 feet from you. It'll be awesome to see you and to see the crew. Bye.