Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - How We Cope with Our Anxieties | Ear Biscuits Ep. 484

Episode Date: September 15, 2025

Totally tangential, y’all. In this episode, Rhett & Link discuss what tactics they use to cope with anxieties, what animal they think should replace humans if we ever went extinct, and get into various tangents about friends with benefits, California slang words, things stuck in Rhett’s mustache, and a long-winded conversation with a lot of initials. Leave us a voicemail at 1-888-EARPOD-1 for a chance to be featured on the show. Get a $75 job credit at https://indeed.com/ears To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best hapice in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Apply. Learn more at mx.ca slash yMex. Wait, I didn't get charged for my donut. It was free with this Tim's rewards points. I think I just stole it. I'm a donut stealer.

Oof. Earn points so fast, it'll seem too good to be true. Plus, join Tim's rewards today and get enough points for a free donut, drink, or timbits. With 800 points after registration, activation, and first purchase of a dollar or more, see the Tim's app for details at participating in restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast. We're two lifelong friends. Talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett.

I'm Link this week at the roundtable of dim lighting. We are going to talk about coping mechanisms. Do you need to cope with something? I bet you do. I bet you we do too. And I hope that this episode just brightens all of our days and helps us cope with whatever. Or your night, if you need a bright night.

We're coping with, you know. If you need a bright night, how to get dope when you cope. Maybe that's the title, probably not. That was something that my mom used to say when she said, if you want to figure out where somebody's from in North Carolina, it was like, ask him to say nightlight. In North Carolina. Yeah, well, it was like, I think it was her litmus test to know, like, how big of a redneck somebody was.

Nightlight, night light, night light, night light, night light, night light, you know, night light. Do you think that, so if you're like half away there? Well, I'm 100% sure that you, when you were, when you were in first grade, second grade, third grade, you would have said, not light, not light. I think I may have gotten there. Light burned out. I think I may have gotten there. Oh, yeah, based on the record. Because I think that one of the things, my mom, oh yeah. There's that, the old lie detector test that the social team has like, you know, they're going back.

We've made so much content over the years. The social team goes back and they find all this stuff that we've done and they repost it. Thank you, social team, for doing that because we forgot. We forget about it. And I'm also like, oh, hell yeah, we did that. Let's get more views on it. But there was the lie detector test with our moms. And there's a clip going around of my mom talking about, like, did you like, the question was,

did you like Link when you first met him? And she's like, yes. But then she says something about your accent. And then she says, no, I don't have an accent. Now, people, my mom is actually funny. She has a sense of humor. She knows that she has an accent, especially to you people on the internet. Yeah.

But she did think at the time that the accent that she was bringing was much more sophisticated than what she was hearing to come out of your mouth, just to give you a... Sophisticated? And I think she... We had been in California, and Cole and I were in that formative time where you're like four or five years old, you're going to school, and all of a sudden, my parents saw their two children beginning to talk like they lived in southern California. There is a...

He said stoked a lot of. Yeah, there is a tape of me and Cole waiting to watch thriller. You know, you would sit down, you would watch MTV, and you would wait for the video that you wanted to see. And we wanted to see Thriller. Okay. And I can't remember what my brother says on this recording, but it is, he sounds like a California kid. Ma'am! You know, and so they really were like, what are we doing? I'm so stoked to see Thriller.

What are we doing? And so when we went to North Carolina, again, we immediately changed back to that. But then she started worrying that we were going to talk like we were from North Carolina and not from Georgia and say not lie. But there's people in Georgia who say not lie. Of course, right? Yes. If not that, then something else. Thank you for going with us on that little aside.

What else are we talking about? What animals should replace humans? Yeah. And why? By the way, I heard some sort of, oh man, I don't know. Noise? It was California talk on maybe TikTok or something. I wish I could remember what it was.

But the guy used Stoked as a noun. Okay. I'm stoked. I found Stoked. I found Stoked in my wallet. This is going to be such a good stoke. Oh, I need some stoke. This is going to be a good stoke.

Yeah. I like that. It's a... It's a happening that will boost your adrenaline, I guess. It totally makes sense, and I like it. And also, it represents the fluidity of the language of humans. I love it. Let's have a stoke day.

Yeah. I get mad when people say, you can't just make up words. What the hell do you think we've been doing a whole long? Yeah, they're all made up, right? We've been making them up! You think they came down from God? Well, I guess some people do believe that. Let's have a stoke.

Yeah, I like that. Mm-hmm. Let's start using it. All right. Hey, this podcast episode is gonna be a real stoke. Can I say real stoke? Yeah. And you can say, boy, that was a stokey.

You shouldn't introduce two words at the same time. That's gonna be where I take it. But you have to wait 12 months for them. Man, that was a stokey. That's 12 months into the process of rolling out slang. I dropped a stokey on you. Have we ever introduced slang into the human vernacular? I mean, there's all the phraseology.

Phrasiology is one thing. But that's not. But a new word. I mean, we made mythicality, but that's just our fans. That's not. We haven't, I don't know. And what does that say about us? We've been doing this.

We've been talking our. asses off on the internet. There's so many words that we, way more than I ever hoped, I would say, that have gone out on the internet. And have we ever even made slang happen? What are we doing here? I think... You think we've ever done it?

I think we're too old. We've always been too old. We've always seen ourselves as too old to make up slang. It's kind of like that one time we tried to make a meme of ourselves and then we realized how cringy that was. What are you talking about? Back in the... in the early social media,

like when Jen was first hired, she was like a third employee and she was doing social media and we were like... Would you remember what it was? You know, come on, make us into a meme. Make it... And then people were like, guys,

you can't make it happen. It just has to happen. We're like, oh... But here's the thing. This many years later, you can make it happen. You can meme yourself. You can.

You mean like literally have a picture with text on it? Yeah, we do that all the time. Of us. Yeah. But somebody's doing it. Yeah, okay.

Yes, but we couldn't in. Yeah, you couldn't in the early meme days. What a stoke it would be if we would come up with new sling. Well, we took a pause there. Didn't come up with anything. Yeah. Things are always changing in mythical, and new roles are popping up all the time. Sometimes we realized we needed someone yesterday.

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Didn't come up with anything. Let's hear a real question. Boobaloo-loo-loos. Yeah. Hi, Rhett and Link. I have a question. So I had a boyfriend back in, like, 2019, and we dated for like two years. We broke up, and we have been able to maintain a very close, completely platonic friendship ever since.

As a matter of fact, we're roommates now. Yikes. Like I said, completely platonic, very close friends. But none of my other friends or family can seem to understand. how we were able to maintain a friendship after breaking up. So I guess my question is, how do you think people can maintain a friendship after breaking up? Or have you ever maintained a friendship after breaking up with somebody?

All right. Love all you do. Thanks. We're so old. The last breakup we had was we were little babies. I mean, doesn't mean apply. But we always felt like you couldn't really be friends. somebody but of course maybe I did that in high school oh I dated we both I did we had our friend group it was small so you kind of dated around and then you were friends afterward that was middle school and high school both but sounds like you're

older than that and it just seems like go like down I keep seeing something on your mustache oh you got it it was just my little my little my coffee. I didn't know, I wasn't, I didn't know that it was food, so the fact that you just ate it? It's not, it's drink. It's a risk. It's drink. It's not food. Well, it looked solid. It's all drink food? It looks solid. Maybe it would have, eventually it would have been. It's got milk in it. It would have turned into a milk solid. You got it. A milk solid. But I mean, it could have just been a dust bunny, dude. What the hell do you think I'm doing? Sweeping the ground with my face? I don't have dust bunnies on my beard. I got food bunnies. Sometimes when you get out of your truck, I'll say it's a truck.

It is a truck. You know, we park next to each other. Sometimes I see when you get out, you lean forward and your mustache grazes your dashboard. That's never happened. Because you're so tall. That's never happened. So you'll get accumulated dust bunnies out there. I mean, if you need me to sweep something with my mustache,

I'm not opposed to it, but I'm just saying it doesn't happen on regular basis. I've seen it. I sweep a shirt, my shirt gets sweeped when I put it on sometimes. So there's a chance that there's something in my shirt. What do you mean by that? Put the shirt. shirt on, pull it down, parts of the shirt get sweeped by my facial hair. Oh.

You know. I've noticed. I mean, sometimes, you all have a more of a brillo pad thing going. Rillow pad. Sometimes you stumble. You'll change. You'll change in between one of our days where we're shooting multiple episodes of one of these properties that we make.

Yeah. And you'll get some lint on your, on your, on your, on your brillo pad. And it's actually really easy to spot on yours because it's short. Mine sometimes happens, and then it gets lodged. Brillopad. And when I use, I've been using toilet paper up my nose to like. Good. Thank you.

And then I'll, an hour later, I'll look. You're learning. They'll be all tight. Screw you, man. It's like you're a new person. It's like you're learning all the basics of life. Well, I figured out you can put the toilet paper in your... I didn't say it like I was proud of it.

I figured out you can put the toilet paper in your nose. You don't just have to put it on your butt. It's like, yes, alien. I would like to do it right now because I feel like I have a little... But I'm not going to. But then, especially the toilet paper, more than like a Kleenex, will get caught on the stash spot. and that doesn't look good at all,

because it looks like X-O. This is why a handkerchief comes in handy. More bandana, hanky. Here's the thing I don't understand about the platonic relationship. And this may say something, this may be something about me, okay? Well, first of all, I do think that now that I'm an adult man

and a middle-aged man, I think that young men tend to have this view that you can't be friends. And I remember being this way as a young man. You can't be friends with a woman. that's not your girlfriend, like you can't just be friends with them. And I think that it came from the environment that we were in in which we were kind of taught that, like, there was some separation. There was this like, don't get on an elevator, like literally don't,

because Billy Graham said he never gets on an elevator alone with a woman, you also shouldn't. Like, that was the world that we'd come from. Like, that kind of thing versus, instead of it being a weird thing for a man to say, it was a noble thing for a man to say. And we're like, how about be the kind of, a person who can be on an elevator with a woman and nothing will happen.

That seems like a higher calling. You know, like never have a woman alone in your office. How about be a man who can have a woman alone in his office and not do anything with her? That also seems like a higher calling. Anyway. Right. It kind of implies an objectification that's not.

A bit, you think? Yeah. But here's what I will say. When it comes to being a roommate with somebody, Only roommates I've ever had have been men that I did not want to have sex with. And just because I don't want to have sex with men. Just let me be honest.

I mean, be honest, let me just be clear about that. And a woman who's my wife, who I do have sex with. Yes. I think, the first thing I think, when I think of a platonic female roommate that I once was in a romantic relationship with and ostensibly was attracted to at some point and probably can be attracted.

to at another time. He's your mom. I just think, and especially, like, not my mom, I just think that, especially in the pandemic days, you're sitting there, it's late at night, you're depressed, you're horny, and you're both in this apartment together. I just think, if the person was willing,

we'd end up dealing. I just think. It's just friends and good benefits. I think it would be difficult for me. just gonna be honest about myself, it would be difficult for that not to be a Friends with Benefit situation. I've never been in the situation.

I've never been on an elevator alone with a woman. I've never had a woman in my office alone because, you know, yes I have. But I'm talking about somebody that you literally dated and you already had sex with. You know what, I had a Friends with Benefits thing for a little bit. Tell me more about that.

Um, in that circle of friends, there was the one, there was one friend that I started dating. Okay. And then we broke up. And you still messed around. No. And then I didn't want to get back with her. And then our mutual friends in the group proposed this Friends with Benefits thing. Oh.

Do you remember? You don't remember this? My memory is not great. Now, the benefit was... I'm sure I was on the council, but... This was the type of thing that, no, you were... You were on the outskirts of this conversation. I was not...

Benefits. Like, this is not youth group-oriented. This is not church-y... By that point, I was pretty straightened up. Straight-laced. I'm actually, when I think... There must have been this window of time when I was like... I was just frustrated.

But the benefits weren't sex, because I wasn't... I wasn't gonna have sex. We didn't do that, we didn't cross the line. Nothing below the belt unless. Yeah, yep. There wasn't, it would, they were benefit, it was above the belt benefits. Right, that was the rule that we had given

the youth group. It, it was kind of like the gray area that in our like accountability conversations that. It was in the days of Joshua Harris's, I kiss dating goodbye. We were like, well, we're not gonna kiss dating goodbye and we're not gonna kiss boobies goodbye, but we'll, right.

You know, we won't kiss anything else. We won't kiss belts. Yeah. I kiss belts goodbye. You have done that. You never wear belts. I've kissed belts goodbye. I can't.

I have to wear a belt. I'm actually thinking about, we're going all over the place. This is like inception. I'm sorry. But I am thinking about kissing belts hello again. Oh, yeah. It creates a nice separation. From a fashion standpoint, I feel like I'm, I need it, which is why I have that rope that I've been using as a belt.

And that's my gateway belt. You're making a fashion statement with a rope? You haven't noticed? I have, but it hasn't really registered. Well, that hurts. Okay. Noted. I bought a pair of pants.

I like to buy pants from people on Instagram. Used? Yeah. Other people's pants? Oh yeah. Vintage pants is what they're called, not other people's pants. OPP. I buy vintage pants.

Well, you made it sound weird, okay? You could have said vintage pants, but you said, I like to buy people's pants on Instagram. That made it seem like you see pants that someone is wearing and you DM them. I want your pants. I would like to buy your pants. I'm on the verge of being like, where'd you get you? your pants, but I'm not going to be on this power trip of like, hey, yo, give me your pants.

It's like the school bully. Give me your Air Jordans in the bathroom. So I bought pants from Instagram. I'm hesitant to give a shout out because you're going to go to this guy's store. I'm not going to go. Guarantee you. You can be like, good God, look at the price of these pants. Okay.

And yeah, I understand. I understand But sometimes I just can't resist And it's a weakness of mine And it's a problem I spend way too much money on clothes That are falling way too much apart Hmm

Matter of fact The jacket That is quite the focus Of this The newest episode Oh no, episode two Of Wonderhole Which has been out for a couple weeks

As of the recording of it My, close your ears, kids, my cum jacket, as we call it. I got from Oddfellow. Yeah, he wasn't Oddfellow. And you do not. Came all over that jacket. That's the name of the Instagram of the vintage store. Got it.

Like I met him at Pickwick and then I buy stuff from. Pickwick, that's cool. I've been there. I found something there. I've actually found things that fit me. I get depressed going to Pickwick, but I found something that picked... It's all vintage clothing.

Fitret. So that's where I met Prince from Oddfellow. Prince. That's his name. Okay. And... You could resell that jacket now. It's a famous artifact.

I bought the cum jacket. And I also bought some pants. And when I did, he might... He styles the pants with a robe. belt. So when he shipped me the pants, he shipped me a rope belt. And I'm like, okay. Oh, so you didn't, it wasn't a purchase. It wasn't an active purchase. It wasn't an active purchase. And so now I realized that the belt, albeit just a rope, really breaks up the midsection. It's nice. It gives you a little accoutreement. And if I don't watch out, I might start wearing necklaces.

Hmm. Okay. Nope. I'm not asking for your opinion. Okay. Where were we going? with this though. Hold on, we can de-inception back out of this. Friends with benefits. I was talking about wearing a belt because... Nothing below the belt. Nothing below the belt.

Yeah. Because it was a proposition that like, listen, she wants to get back together and I'm like, I don't want to get back together. I was like, what about friends with above the belt benefits? And I'm like, I'm sure I didn't talk you about this. Because I remember going to a party. Was this junior year, though? Might have been junior year.

Because junior year I was in an above-the-belt relationship. Oh, you were? And maybe that's what I was frustrated that you were getting above-the-belt action and I wasn't getting any. We were in a Christian band, but we were like, listen, God. I mean, all, everyone else that we did pray. Everyone else that we know is drinking a whole lot. They're getting more, they're getting all the benefits of marriage, you know, below the belt, inside the belt line.

What we thought were the benefits of the physical. They were getting the physical. I'm saying that's what. And so we were like, God, listen, cut us some slack. We're singing about you and we're bringing people to you. Let us play with the boobies a little bit. That was how we justified that. So I don't think I would have...

Yeah, okay. I don't believe I would have... It was in the water. Yeah, right. It was in the holy water. I would not have judged you for that because I was experiencing my own. You said water, so I was going to say motorboat, but...

I went to... I don't think I've ever actually done that. There was like... There was an arrangement... Even though we were friends and we had dated. This was an arrangement made between our mutual friends in the group that there would be friends with above the belt benefits. Why did you subject yourself to the Friendship Council? I don't, because they arranged it.

It was, that's how it was brought to me. But you're a person. Exactly. With rights. Why didn't I talk, you mean, why didn't I just talk to her and come up with the arrangement? Yes. It was because I was so timid about all this. Yeah, that's true.

So, and yeah, I'm a freaking junior in high school. And so I'm like, yes, I'll go for this. Okay, so then what happened? And I actually think it might have been below the Friends of Benefits dot, dot, dot. Because I remember I started getting, whenever our friend, I'm only going to use initiatives. initiatives this is the friendship initiative initials i'm only going to use uh crap i can't remember his last name he first his name started with a j okay well there's a jk no j s there's two of those in that group he was he was from anger jk no the other one jay hold on b

I can't remember his last name. No, no. Yes. No. Golf. Yeah. Oh, God. It doesn't matter.

Oh, it does. No, no. I have to, because. He came to me. He said, he was a chef. Yes. He, like, whispering. You either heard it or you didn't.

Yeah, you whispered it right on the mind. He's a chef. Yes. Yes. I remember. Yes, he had good advice. He caught wind, well, he's experienced. He caught wind of this agreement that I had through mutual friends for friends with benefits with my ex-girlfriend, who's now just a friend.

I was willing to give a shot. He caught when he comes up to me and he starts giving me very specific tips for below-the-belt friends with benefits. Because he knew I needed it. But these are just below- I just exuded. These are below-the-belt tips for anyone. I wasn't, no, he gave him to me, but... Yeah, for any, yes, for anyone.

It's not specifically in the context of friends with benefits. No, no, it was just... Below-the-belt tips. This is what, and this is what he said. Do you want to know his specific advice? I know you do. Yeah. And I really never made sense of it, so maybe you can help me make sense of it.

Yeah, I probably will. Are we, I mean, why is this turning into sex-temper? Oh, this is maybe a little preview that we are going to do sex-temper again, right? Yeah In a couple weeks And it is September It already is September It is it

Yeah yeah Oh crap We're giving you a preview So the last episode of this month This is getting pretty sexy It is sexy So I remember he said What the hell is his last name?

It doesn't matter It starts with why I got to get it damn Oh yeah You got it We got it What release Do you know what it is

Or you just remember It starts with the Y I remember it Okay yeah Me too He said man Use your teeth. Okay, all right.

I thought I was going to. Could you have a guess that's what he was going to say? No. Right. What? I know, I... Yeah, I think actually the rule is don't use your teeth. He said, use your teeth.

What? You don't tell somebody to use... You don't, I'm not... What? Teeth is advanced techniques. Really? I know. You've used everything else.

And aren't you... If you're bored out of your mind. The thing is, is he didn't know who he was talking to. I know! He didn't know he was talking to the man who chews everything 30 times. You can't tell Link Neal to use his teeth. I know. Good God.

Thank God that, like, I was like, well, I'm not going below the belt. I didn't even tell him that. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, thanks. And then I'm like, for the rest of my life, up until today. You've been using your teeth. It's been echoing my brain. It's like, use your teeth.

I think he was like, I'm gonna fuck with it. I'm gonna tell Lane to use his tea so I can hear stories about it. So I went to a party at another Jay and Jay's house. And I remember this was the- Oh, the Jay in the day? And they had a basement. Why do we have so many J's in that group?

We had four Js. They had a basement. Stick with me. The other guy who wasn't a J, had a J- is a last name. I'm telling a good story and you're going down an initial tangent

which sucks. No, that was the final tangent. I don't remember that I talked directly to my friend that now offered above the boat to me benefits

about this. It was just that she heard that I was for it. She had a J in her name. Yep. And And we were in the basement of the party.

And I'm going, I'm at the party where I don't even, I don't know, I don't know if you were at this party. But I remember the whole time was just like, well, when, how do I get benefits? How do I get the benefit? I fill out an application. Like what, what do I do?

We haven't even talked about this. I was so freaking awkward. And then I'm like, the party keeps going and the tension keeps building. and we're just hanging out and all of us are hanging out and then I remember I don't know exactly how it happened but I think it was like you want to go back to my truck that was my idea you said this yes that was a good idea yeah a little

primacy you want to come to my truck like for the benefit You didn't have to say that. I didn't say it probably. Well, I probably did. Did you use your teeth? I was talking with my teeth. I was like, I don't know exactly where and how to use my teeth, so I'm going to use them at all the time.

You want to come back to my trip. Talk with your teeth. Boy, a bit of it. You want a little bit of it in my truck. The funny thing is you're not really using your teeth any more than normal right now. I'm showing. I'm showing my teeth.

And when I'm talking about it. You're really using your lips. If you're using your teeth, you'd be true. If you're using your teeth, you'd be. The teeth would be tapping each other. They need to be tapping when you're talking. Tap your teeth when you talk. There you go.

There you go. That's using your teeth. Yeah, that's it. Well done. We went on my truck. And? And it's a small truck. Yeah, it is.

I got into it last year. Before it destroyed it. Before you talked me into crushing it. So we get in the truck. and the interior light was on. The door's still a jar. The door's a jar or something. And I don't know why, but I never turned the interior light off.

Well, you've got to see what you're doing. That made it more awkward. Like, it would have been better in the dark. Usually is. For both parties, you know? I don't remember. Here's the first time I'm getting friends of benefits, and it's dark daylight in the middle of...

I mean, it is at night, but it's just like, boof, inside of the truck. And also, people can see you. Yeah. That's really the thing. I mean, we were laying down as much as we could. You can't fully lay down in that truck. You couldn't fully lay down.

No, no. Your knees were up. And I got some benefits. but, and I can tell you more about that later. Okay. Privately. I remember some details that I'm not going to talk about publicly. That's good, because I feel like we've said enough.

I feel like all the initials that have been thrown out. Somebody can, like, throw them into AI and figure out who we're talking about. And then, well, don't invite it. And then what I ended up doing was never ever, I think it was the guilt. I'm sure it was the guilt. I never went... You never did it again. I never went for benefits again.

Interesting. But I did use my teeth a little bit. Yeah. Just, but above the belt. Above the belt. Yeah. Which, by the way, I do recommend that. That could work.

Yeah. That could work. I do recommend that. Yeah, so there it is. Okay. I forgot that I ever did that, and I didn't mean to ever talk about it publicly. Well, I'm glad you did.

I never really had a similar situation. So, I think we should move to the next question because we really took that one for a ride. Okay. Hi, guys. My name is Caitlin. I'm from Virginia. And I want to go into psychology.

I'm a psychology major right now. And we're learning about coping mechanisms. I just finished up my last semester. and we've mainly focused on coping mechanisms in one of my classes. And I'm really curious what you guys' coping mechanisms are. For me, it's like journaling, yoga, and, like, tapping. It's called EFT tapping. I don't know.

Brett, I feel like you would kind of be into this, maybe. But, yeah, it's really interesting. You just, like, tap different points for different, like, types of relief, I guess. I don't know. I type my forehead a lot. but that's what my professor taught me. I don't know, but curious to hear what you guys have to say. Love you guys so much.

Bye. Big love to VA. You tap your forehead too much in the same place, you're gonna get zits there. That's the first thing. Also, it's a form of torture. Right. They're done with water.

Yeah, which seems counterproductive to coping if it's torture. Interesting. Are you interested? Are you peaked? I'm always peaked, man I'm always peaked I'm in a constant state of peekedness

I have not heard of this but it interests me this is why it interests me tapping because it is a physical thing that isn't necessarily a directly a direct emotional thing because actually I heard somebody talking about this recently

I don't know some doctor one of the TikTok tick toctors okay tick doctors there's got to be something about that um and he was basically talking about breathing techniques which have been very beneficial to me in the past few years like that's something my therapist kind of encouraged me to do um And it could be something as simple as there's different techniques. There's like there's box breathing and then there's the like breathing in for four seconds holding for seven seconds and exhaling for nine seconds. There's these different, you know, it's all kind of the same thing. But what ends up happening when you do that when you do a, when you have a physiological tool that isn't like, oh, okay, I'm having health anxiety or I'm having travel. anxiety or I'm just having anxiety in general or I've woken up in the middle and

a night worried about something which happens to me sometimes if I'm like really stressed out um instead of being like I'm gonna work this out right now like let me let me let me try to work this out mentally and talk myself down from wherever I'm at yeah bypassing the thought process which is usually something that your brain is like firing off something that you're not really gonna think your way out of it but to use the physiological intervention of breathing and it all of a sudden bypasses whatever was happening in your brain. I heard somebody talking about that and I was like,

oh, this is definitely true in my life. This has become a really useful tool for me to just stop and breathe. So maybe the tapping is a... I'm also like, I'm also never been into fidget spinners. Not that they're the same thing, but that's never been... It seems like they're in the same woods. I like the idea of it, but you're right about the zits.

I have to wear gloves, I guess. Put a glove on and start tapping on the face. Well, I'm going to tap myself. Yeah, yeah. Above the belt. So, yeah, I'm tapping all above the belt only. Would you like some tips? But...

Tapping on the forehead. I mean, I'm going to do it right now as you're talking. Does it feel good? I think so. I'm getting anxious about... You look worried. Yeah, I look very worried. Yeah, it's not...

I saw somebody doing that, be like, are you okay? You look, you're really thinking about something. Right, it's not... It's a distressing... Yeah, look. You need to go into a corner if you're going. You need to turn off your dome light if you're gonna do this, you know?

Right. Make sure the doors aren't a jar if you're gonna start tapping yourself in your own car. The temple might be better. The thing that I have started doing is not tapping. You do a lot of pressing. But pressing. Have you noticed this?

Yes. Well, you talked about it because you had the, you had the, you did, you started pressing really hard and you did something to yourself. Or a masseuse did something. You talked about this on this show, I believe. Yes.

But so there's been a lot pressing going on. I have continued to press on my face, and I can now pinpoint all these places of tension. Pressing is a cousin to tapping. Pressing is a long tap. Tapping is a short press. Yes, you're right. It's a spectrum.

Right. So I'm doing long taps. Long deep tapping is what I'm doing. Yeah. Long, deep, localized tapping, and that is a form of, um, that's a coping mechanism for me when I carry tension, because I carry tension in my head and in my face and in my neck, my jaw, I mean, not neck.

Above the neck, which is even more conservative. Right. Yeah. You have the most conservative tension carrying possible. Yeah. Nothing below the neck. Like the bottom of the, just like cranial, sub-cranial.

And there's obviously all this type of stuff like tension that's being stored in there. But the tapping, I just wonder what's going on there because I don't think it's providing physical... It might be. I mean, there's something with the pressure points

and the acupuncture. Like, I don't know how that works. Just like nerve engagement? Something, yeah. You got to find the points. You got to find the right points. Remember that time we were riding around with Ben Greenwood?

And I had a headache, he was like, take your hand and press right here. Like, Ben was doing pressure points in 1987. Right, of course he was. You know? Right. So I still do that from time to time if I have a headache.

I don't know if it works. The thing I am maybe more interested in in what she said was whatever journaling yoga is. I think that was there's two things in a list. Yeah, so, no, but speaking of journaling. You can write and stretch at the same time. Or there's goat yoga. So, journaling, as you know, maybe to an annoying degree at this point,

because I've been talking with you a lot about it. Yeah, it is, I wouldn't say I'm annoyed yet, but I'm saying that I'm, it's mounting. Yeah, and I actually have, like I don't wanna, I'm not gonna get into talking about, I will at some point, in some place, if I haven't already, talk once I kind of finally get to like whatever my like you're not ready to talk about where it settles your pins publicly yet I've talked about pins on uh on a good mythical more I

don't know when that's coming out but like I'm into pens and note taking and notebooks and all that right but what I have found as it relates to anxiety and actually this is really interesting because um I I this I am coming off of this very fresh actually today. This is something that you will be able to relate to. Because, you know, me and you face challenges together. Not, I mean, we do face interpersonal challenges that we work through. I'm not talking about, I'm talking about something that me and you are facing together right now, a challenge that we are facing together.

That is something that we're talking about. Yeah. And don't worry, everything's going to be fine. We're always facing something. but sometimes the intensity of the thing that we are facing ramps up to a place where it begins to affect my sleep and three nights ago I woke up at like 1.30 a.m. wide awake and it was all I could think about

and I started trying to work it out in my mind and I was like shit I'm not gonna be able to go back to sleep and so I just picked up my book on my you know my e-reader and just started reading and then eventually I got tired again and I went back to sleep. So in that sense, read... It's good that you didn't get on your phone. That would be a big no-no.

Yeah, reading was a helpful coping mechanism, reading fiction, getting into, like, the fantasy book that I'm reading. And then two nights ago, I woke up 3.30. So I made it a little bit longer, but I woke up and immediately started thinking about it again. And instead of reading my book, because I was like, maybe, like, it's 3.30.

I'm gonna be up in like two and a half hours. Like, maybe I just think about this for a little bit. Like, I let myself think about it. Not a great idea. Uh-uh. I did eventually go by to sleep, but both of those nights, I got a very, very poor sleep score from the three different places that I get it.

My ring, my bed, and my watch all told me that I was a sucker. Your bed. Okay. So, but then last night... Hold on. on, you said you eventually fell back to sleep while trying to problems solve. Yeah, and so it didn't work.

Then last evening, yesterday evening, I, as I told you I was gonna do, I took some time to write about the challenge and processed a bunch of it. Like I literally, I told Jesse, I was like, I was like, Listen, I am going to get, I'm going to get something to eat, and I'm going to the Creative House, and I'm just going to, I'm going to be there tonight. Oh, you went over there.

Yeah, because I needed no distractions. Okay. And I was there from like seven until 10. Like, thinking through this, working through it, right, but mostly writing, and typing. Typing. Yes. So the reason I was typing. is because this is something that I'm sharing with you

because this is something we're going through together whereas if I'm like, if it's for me, I'm like... Also, it was much more extensive. Right, there was so much to get out. And it's just like writing it, typing it is... I will turn to the keyboard when it's like, boy, this would have been... This would have been pages and pages and pages of writing

and my hand would have probably cramped up. And I got home and I was like, I feel, well, first of all, I shared it with you before I went to bed. Yeah, I was already asleep, which is my coping mechanism. And I... And I don't wake up, thank God. I'm sorry to rub it in, but like, the more stressed I am, there have been a couple of exceptions in the past two months, I think, but by and large, I just switch off. hibernate but go ahead

I you felt relief and I slept all the way through the night oh so one of the and so I've heard many people say this there are there's different conventions like once you get into note taking and journaling YouTube which is a whole

world that I invite you to go into those rabbit holes because they are great and there are people who are very helpful but there are things like basically just right before you go to bed writing what you're feeling and like writing the which is if you're like me

what you're feeling when you get ready to go to bed is like you're worrying about things you know what I'm saying like you're anxious oh well let me pull out here are the files that I can pull out right now about things that I'm worried about and you pull them out

and they will present themselves You usually don't have to pull them out and be like, oh, I'm actually, okay, I'm worried about that and this is how I'm feeling about that. I'm just going to write that and like the act of processing that in written form and having to actually acknowledge it, put it out of your mind, put it onto paper or a keyboard or whatever, and also put the way you're feeling about it. I think that is an incredible coping mechanism. I can't imagine that not working for everybody. I'll just put that out there. I just think that that, and I'm not saying you'd make it a practice every night, whatever, you do you,

but I think if there's something that you are dealing with, and this person, I can't remember your name, but you took journaling, you mentioned journaling, and I think that that's a, I think it's a great one, and it's been very helpful to me, and I didn't start doing it until the last couple years, really. And one of the things that has, happens when you write stuff down is first of all you can go back and you can see

the process you can see how you're a feeling and how you work through things and that's very helpful years later you can do that but the other thing you can do is there's something about organizing your thoughts about something that you are worried about that helps me stop ruminating on it yeah because you I mean rumination is like a churning of thoughts where you find yourself circling back to the same thing it's it's this feeling of trying to get somewhere in the woods and then you realize that I've been here before twice three times I'm going in circles it's the mental experience of that and you know sometimes you can

think about things and it's why you I think It's why I ruminate is that, you know, you think things through and you come up with stuff and you make progress. But a lot of, when it doesn't work, it's very counterproductive and it's exhausting. And it's a telltale sign for me that I'm really not in a good place when I'm seeing that tree thought for the third, fourth, fifth time. or if I decide that I'm not going to try to get out of these woods, I'm just going to teleport to another experience. I'm going to engage in something else. Now I'm going to sit over here and I'm going to eat breakfast or whatever.

But it's still there. And then the moment I'm doing that, it's like realizing that I've sleptwalk back to the tree. And it's like, well, now it's the seventh time I'm about the tree. You know, it's just you're compelled and it's a cessation. cycle that you can break. And even if you think you figured it out in your mind. If you keep going over it to like, I don't want to forget this.

You forget it. Like I find this is the crazy thing that has been so transformative about note taking in general for me. Again, I'm trying not to talk about it. I'm just trying to do it. But it's been so helpful for me, I want to share it, is that my mind is so all over the damn place and so active and so, like, again, It's just any idle moment, my tendency is to pull out the thing that I could work on, and it could be any number of things. And sometimes it's good stuff, and a lot of times it's like anxiety-related things.

But when you pull the file out and you think about it and you put it back in, you haven't done anything most of the time. When I'm like, no, I'm going to write this down. And then I'll go back, because I have this little pocket notebook, I'll go back in the following days and be like, oh, yeah, you just thought about this, you came to this conclusion, now when you go back to that tree,

you know what you're doing. You're chopping that tree down or you're climbing that tree or whatever. You actually have a strategy that is being implemented as it relates to that thing. It's like, oh, you have a doctor's appointment about that. And every time you go back to the notebook,

you know, oh, I have a doctor's appointment about that. I don't have to do anything else about that right now. And so, but when you don't, you know what I'm saying? Like a lot of, it helps you take action and actually move things forward. So it's just been, it's way more effective than just thinking about it. As we have talked about this, it's very appealing, you know. And even to the point where at dinner one night, I was like, you know, Christy, I think it was me and Lando and Christy.

I was like, you know, I'm really thinking about starting to journal. Right now we're talking about it today, and Christy's like, I've been talking to you about that for years, and now Rhett's going to talk to you about it, and you're going to do it? And I'm like, Christy, no. We were just talking about it today, so it's on my mind, but it brought back all the great conversations that we had about it, And by the way, I still haven't done it, and fine, I'm not gonna do it.

Oh, you did that. Yeah. You did some demand avoidance. And then, demand avoidance. Oh, and then what I did was not do it. But so, it is very appealing. I have been talking to your wife about this, you know. I think, no, I don't know that.

Not about you, me and your wife have been talking about journaling. Great. You can be friends with a woman. And stationary and pens. Hold on. Your wife and I might go to a pen convention together, just so you know, and we might be in an elevator alone. Great.

I'm fine with that. I fully trust her. Oh, what about me? So let's talk about the mechanics of how difficult it is for me to give this a shot. And I'm just going to throw out why I haven't done it, even though I thought I decided I was going to do it. But then I haven't. Here's what I've thought.

And I don't know if, I'm curious if, if you had, like, what motivated you to start. But we're so different in this way. I think, for me, I was like, you know what? I feel like I have to really work up and it has to be a big decision because I have a lot to overcome. So I'm like, I do like the idea of when I'm in the bed, just starting to journal. On your hand, just right on your hand. Starting to write stuff down. With a Sharpie.

And I have a couple of things that I can write on. And I have a pen that I like. I have pencils that Christy gave me. If you need any advice there. There was, no. There was, you know, she gave me these special pencils because she's, you know what, I think maybe you would like to sketch. Yeah.

Because I started sketching some stuff. Yeah, and you can sketch in the journal. So then, yeah, I'm like, so, okay, maybe this is. I'll unlock it. I'm not going to be writing words. I'm going to be sketching things. Like one of those, like a child and like a child therapist exercise or something. I don't know. Like I'm sketch, not, I'm sketching my anchor or I'm just doodling. I don't know. Just as an outlet. I was like, maybe that'll be my gateway to journaling. I'll just doodle. But then I'm like, no, I'm inspired to actually write. I like the idea of at the end of the day just jotting down.

things that happen in the day. It seems like that was a very low barrier to entry to then being able to get to more of this higher processing stuff that you're talking about, which is appealing. But I'm trying to make it an easy entry. Yeah, you don't... But I still haven't done it because when I get in the bed... You fall asleep. Like a champ. And that's my coping mechanism. Can I give you a tip? Can I give you a suggestion? Are you open to a suggestion? Yes. You've a giant bedroom Like I've only been in there a couple of times Right

But it's so big Yeah There's other There's a seating area in your bedroom We could open a hostel up there Yeah Like we thought that We could have Europeans and bunks

We thought that Trent's bedroom in high school Was so big We couldn't believe it Because my bedroom in high school And my entire life Until I left home Was 8 by 10 feet Yeah

in half the roof angled down. Yeah, right. I couldn't even stand up in 40% of it. Like, I had to lay down in most of it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was 6'4 in 8th grade. Yes.

8 by 10. Go ahead. Okay. Trent. Hamlet... Oh, I said his whole name. What are you saying? Trent's bedroom was so big.

Yours is four times the size of Trent's bedroom. You better believe. It has a fireplace in it. It has a seating area. Yeah. Um... You want me to sit down there before I get in the bed. Yes, you need, like, when you get into bed.

Oh, like candlelight, I could be like Thomas Jefferson or something? Do you know what I'm thinking about doing? Jesse has a little desk in our bedroom. Our bedroom is not as big as your bedroom, regrettably. Nope. It has a little desk that is like she uses a little bit, but it's mostly decorative. And it's not big enough for me. I'm a big man. I would like to have a bigger desk so that,

because I sit down at night and I will write, I need a surface. It's hard for me to, like, sit down. I don't know, if you can just sit down on a couch and write, you need a place to do the writing, and I think your bedroom is perfect because you're winding down and you're just going, I'm going to go over here, here's my journal,

I'm going to write the thing, whatever it is, I'm going to sketch my anger. I'm going to write the things that happen to me today. Mostly dicks. Draw a bunch of dicks. It's stuff coming out of. like going on the jackets like Johnny Treehorn or whatever his name is Big Blowski yeah that's so great just like oh I'm gonna do I'm gonna do some

investigation you're gonna draw Calvin and Hobbs pissing on stuff you do you do whatever you want to and also it doesn't I know you're so routine oriented that that's why I'm suggesting that hey just I'm gonna and but don't be upset yourself if you don't if you don't do it because it's not part of my routine I'm not doing it every single night and I've got my notebook in my pocket that I'm writing stuff in

and I'll go days without doing that but it's just it's something that I keep returning to and then you'll start finding things this is crazy I you know I write songs but one of the things that I have found recently is that if I write something

like in my journal notebook that's this is what's happening to me right now this is what I'm thinking about this is what I'm processing I have found myself four or five times now closing a journal entry by writing a poem

that doesn't rhyme that captures what I'm feeling about that because there's something about and I've never been into poetry I don't have like a book of poems that I actually read there's maybe one on a shelf

to make people think I would read poetry It's just, by the way, it's just like you to not have any point of reference for poetry and then you just start writing poetry. Well, but I, that's good. But no, what I'm saying is that by poet, what I mean by that is that it is the, again, I've never, I was an engineer, so I never took any classes on this. I don't know what it is. It's just, it's written in a way that is poetic. Yeah. It isn't just like prose. I get it.

And so you end up saying things in a way that, like, captures. It might be like, I'm thinking about this person right now that offended me and I'm writing a poem to them. Or I'm thinking about this person that I just met and I don't know what I, or I'm thinking about this thing that just happened that I feel like it's going to be formative. And that has been this, and then just go to bed after that. And there's something about processing it to that level. And again, I'm not writing a poem every night. And let me be, I would never share any of these poems with anybody. They're not good.

It's not artful. It's just literally just for my, just for me and just for processing something. Okay. And so you might find that drawing dicks is that for you. Whatever it is, I'm just saying that it, I think it could be transformative.

I have this thing. Yeah, definitely back to me. Yeah. I'm so, like I've thought, once I'm like, I found myself thinking, Well, I'm gonna start this, but I have to really... Like, the first one has got to be a good one. No, it just has to be the first one.

Like, it's like, if I'm just writing out what happened in the day, it's like, I have to be motivated. It has to be something in that day that motivates me to like, now, just I'm breaking the same. I think you should have a dick on the first page. I think you should commit right now that the first page is just a dick. Maybe the first three pages. That brings me, yes, like one dick across three, you turn to paint, more of it, more of it.

So when people open up, they're like, this is a dick book. You know, then they don't keep going and digging. Well, that's a good point, because that is my second thing, is I've always, first of all, the, well, let me just state it this way, I find myself without any rational engagement being self-conscious about somebody reading it. Yeah. And I don't want to put a lock on it. Somebody will read it one day, but you'll be dead probably, or you'll have lost your lost, your no book I just don't feel like

I don't know you know it's like one of the kids comes up there I don't want it to seem like I don't trust my kids put a dick on the cover they'll never open that so the first three pages are just one long dick and then after that

everyone's repulse I love how it's just a long dick they love how it's just one long dick that goes across two pages and then wraps around the third page yeah Then people are gonna be like, well, I gotta follow this dick. No, you don't want to do that. How long does the dick go?

Dick is contained to a page. And lots of little dicks, too. There's a big dick page, there's a little dick page. You know, there's all kinds. It's whatever you want it to be. The dick pages by Link, Neil. I think those are really my only hang-ups. You can't, yeah.

Oh, here's another one. I'm not good at drawing dicks. I don't know how to do it really. I've never, very rarely have done it if ever. But it feels like it'd be easy I mean I got one Yeah I could draw my own dick I can just look down and

I'm at every night Every night I'm trying to get better at This is obviously a man drawing his own dick Because it's always from the top down Right Yeah it looks like well that's the edge of the desk I see a little bit of belly button Right above it

What's going on that? All right so that's what I'm doing I'm so excited now. See the beginning of two thighs. You can't be worried about people reading it. Yeah, I can't. And also, what the hell, who cares? Like, if they do read it.

If people read what I have written. Yeah, I don't, it's not that. Think about the stuff we talk about on this podcast. I mean, like, I don't know. It's not that I want to keep something from Christy, but I don't want her to read it. Okay. I mean, you don't want Jesse to read it, right?

Your journal, do you? No, but if she did, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I will say, when I have something to write about that is literally like, I don't want anyone to ever read what I'm writing right now, I do that as a locked note on my computer. There are, there's a few of those, like about the crimes that I've committed that I'll never tell anybody about. I'm interested.

There is actually nothing that I'm thinking about writing down. It's just the idea of privacy. I think that it has nothing to do with secrets or trust. That has nothing to do with it. I think it's just like the freedom, like if you're in a space completely alone and you just want to talk out loud. Well, if you really want,

if you're that concerned about it, And a lot of people are, they don't, they just use it, they just use their computer. They just use their computer. Now, I don't think it has the same effect. Yeah, I don't want to do that. But I think it's way better than doing nothing. Journaling on a computer is way better. I don't like, you know, I don't like computers.

You don't even use a laptop anymore. I don't, you've been writing emails and notes and stuff just on a phone, and I don't understand how you are getting by. And I'm done with that. I'm starting to dictate, but when nobody's around. So now I have to go to secret soundproof places to just say a little something into my phone. Okay. So, yeah, I just think you got, yeah, you got to get over those things.

Draw a couple of dicks and get over it. I don't know that you fully unlocked it for me, but... Or just get a lock. Get a pretty little fuzzy little lock on your diary. Blink's dick diary. Let's answer this last question about animals. Hey, Rhett, hey, Link, a long-time listener and viewer. I just got a question for you guys.

If human beings were to disappear off the face of the earth tomorrow, what animal would you like to see take our place? Now, they have access to all our technology. That stays around. Yeah, that's it. Thanks, guys. Hi. Hmm.

I have a strong perspective on this. Okay. What I believe to be well-reasoned. This jogs of memory for me. And I'm a bit adamant about this. Okay. And I also believe that this is entirely possible when we go extinct.

Okay, I'm going to listen to you. It should. should not be another mammalian species. Mm-hmm. We have proven, we have proven that we are not, that we don't have what it takes. We're too hairy.

We got too much milk. Well, the milk and the meat and the hair are maybe part of it, but we are actively proving right now that we do not have what it takes to sustain ourselves. I mean, I don't know. I try to be optimistic, but...

Seems like we're tanking. God, it's hard to be optimistic right now. Like, literally this morning. Okay. Literally this morning. And when I'm, you know, I watch YouTube videos basically every morning while I work out and stretch and whatnot.

And it's mostly like very middle-aged man videos lately a lot about notebooks. Okay. Or some theological debate. But I also tap into the world of, you know, the latest in the AI stuff. And it's just like literally the title and the thumbnails now are just, we're fucked. Like that's the, that's what we're fucked in the, we're fucked in two of two different channels. Can you click on this stuff too?

I clicked on one and then I didn't click on the other and I didn't keep watching the first one. But if I'm going to click on that, it better be porn. we're fucking it's different because if you just click on two people who just fucked that's not as fun we just fucked and now we're smoking a cigarette

but we have proven that something about the nature of our evolution and our individualism and our tribalism has gotten in the way of us being able to sustain ourselves beyond what's happening right now.

And it certainly seems like we're destroying the world, we are completely divided, whatever. Maybe it's gonna be a utopia and we're gonna get through the other side, but it certainly seems like we're just gonna destroy ourselves. And most of the people who are like experts in this and understand human history and anthropology are like a thousand years from now,

the chances that we are still around and anything, any way, shape, or form like we are, it's just very, very low. So, birds. No. So, fish. Insects. Without a doubt.

Now, first of all. Insects, that's kind of broad. Maybe you just say ants. Well, that's my answer. I'm not gonna commit to what species it should be or could be or will be. But here's the thing, Here's the advantage that they have over us is that they have evolved to be a social species

in a way that we're technically more social, right, in terms of the prefrontal cortex and all this stuff and the way that we connect with each other on a deeply human level. Yeah, but you're talking about cooperation. The level of cooperation, the fact that ants, as an example, Can make a damn raft. They will turn into something that has a collective benefit and they will just do it

and they will sacrifice themselves. We see self-sacrifice is this incredible virtue that is so rare that if somebody does it, we'd like invent a religion around them. You know, it's a rarity. It's not, it's not actually the norm.

And so I think that the only thing that's going to survive long term is going to be something where the where and again I'm not trying to make a political statement about this but I just think that something where the collective is actually valued in the and us as a species is the thing like us our connection with each other in the connection with the earth somebody's got to value that to a degree that it's just not about what I can get and how I can take mine and keep mine and like that's that's what got us to this place and that's what's going to cause us to fall apart.

So it's got to be a species that is more interdependent than we are. And I think all mammals will inevitably evolve to a place where they get too individualistic. That's my theory. Because I would say dolphins, A, they don't have thumbs. They're stuck in the water. And you know what? Everybody thinks that they're so great and they're so sweet. But you have seen what some of these horny dogs are?

doffins will try to do to a human woman? I haven't seen it. They do not ask for a consent. So they might be way more intelligent than we understand, but I think dolphins can be assholes. Whales are my favorite animal. I think they can be assholes. My answer is ants.

Okay. And I was telling you about that book that I read or listened to. I'm trying to figure out what it's called. And the one that's come up is called of ants and dinosaurs, but that's not what it was called, but this is, yeah, this is, this is it. The guy who wrote three body problem wrote of ants and dinosaurs.

Oh yeah, you told me about it. A satirical fable, political allegory. I need to put it on my reading list. No. Uh, it's, it's fun, it's quick. But it's really, it's like ants, in a world where dinosaurs and ants evolved and then had to work together to build like, well, competing in cooperative civilizations. Yep.

It was, it was, it's a fun, quick listen. But I do think it might. Based on all of the specifics of that, I'm going with ants. Definitely not dinosaurs. Oh, no, not dinosaurs. Dinosaurs. No, no way. Or maybe just butterflies.

Beautiful, wispy, transformative. You can't have that many butterflies. You've ever been to a butterfly museum? Yeah. It feels cool at the beginning, and then it gets a little claustrophobic. Yeah, but you're not there. Huh?

It's a beautiful world for us not to be a part of it. Okay. Thanks for hanging with us. I hope that we've brightened your night. or your day and you know what take care of yourself keep on tapping

keep on tap talk to you next week hi rat and link my name is Alex and I just wanted to let you guys know mostly Rhett but both of you that I'm getting married soon

and I've put the James and the Shame lyrics from where we're going and sure thing in my vows because you guys have meant a whole lot to our relationship. We started hanging out more because we both watched you and we both listened to your music.

And just thank you for bringing me closer to my to-be husband. Bye.