Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Link Goes to Lesbian Coachella | Ear Biscuits Ep. 489

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

If we know two things about Link, it’s that he loves music and he loves lesbians. In this episode, Link talks about his experience at All Things Go in Maryland, known as the lesbian Coachella, and Rhett rejoices over his golf tournament win. Plus, an update from Jenna on how her ACL surgery went, as well as who would they haunt if they became ghosts – spooky! Leave us a voicemail at 1-888-EARPOD-1 for a chance to be featured on the show! Get 20% off mattresses and an extra $50 off with promo code EAR at https://www.leesa.com/. Start saving in 2 minutes at http://chime.com/ear To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best hapice in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Apply. Learn more at mx.ca.ca slash yMex. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ.

Built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. the new Peloton cross-training tread plus at OnePeloton.C.A. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast, where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett this week at the Round Table of Dim Lighting. We're answering some of your questions.

We're also checking in with someone who made it through a six-year. Successful knee surgery, Jenna. Yes, hi. How are you feeling? Oh man, she still sounds loopy. I do, I mean, well, at this point I'm just loopy because I've just been laid up for a week. Oh, you're not on anything that you want to tell us about?

Not at the moment, no, just some ibuprofen. So what, is your leg, is it wrapped up, or is it wrapped up, is it unwrapped? It's still fully wrapped. Okay. We've got to fix that. Like I haven't been able to look at it. Does it look swell?

It doesn't feel swollen anymore. It's hard to tell if it looks it because there's like a bunch of gauze and stuff. Oh, man. I wonder, is it stinky? I'm probably stinky. Like, I can't take a full shower. You can't bathe it.

I'm losing my mind. Have you watched any good movies? Well, hold on. How do you, how have you bathed yourself? You, like, hang your leg. Sponge bath, man. Sponge bath. Yeah, it's basically a sponge bath,

but, like, me, like, leaned over my sink. Yeah. Like, trying to scrub under my armpit. Okay. Okay. So cute. Yeah. But you can't.

So you haven't gotten in like a bathtub and hung your leg out or something? I can't really do that with my tub situation. Okay. I do get in the bathtub and was able to wash my feet. That's important. So that was great. That's important. But the cover on my leg takes up my whole leg and I can't remove it.

And when did you, when does that come off? That comes out tomorrow. Oh. Oh, you can shower tomorrow. Maybe. I hope so. Okay. Well, I don't know how to put this more clearly than I perhaps already have, but as soon as you can shower, you can come back to work.

Yeah. That is a prerequisite. We require shower to people. Now, you have... Something else. Whether my knee is like okay or not, doesn't matter. Yeah, that's less of a concern for me. Now, you have the, you got somebody else's ligament, right?

I did. Yeah. How does that feel? And how much do you know about them? I don't know anything about them, except that they didn't need it anymore. Oh, wow. It's so fascinating. But it actually feels good.

It's fascinating to think about it. your your knee feels good my knee feels good now like it feels it feels like um everything's in the right spot i think this is an opportunity for us to do a PSA PSA i think i always want to do PSA all right but that's a public service announcement um unless you have some sort of religious precondition that would prevent you from being an organ donor a pre-existing religious condition right um be an organ donor like when you're when you are asked that question when you are filling out the information for your license some people are just like you and they say no but you should say yeah even i said yeah you should say yeah because you're like everything that

you got could go to help somebody in need like Jenna's need has somebody else's stuff in it now. Help somebody in knee. Yeah, right. And just think about that. It's like a little card you gave me a link. She's going to be walking, walking around, prancing around, doing all the things that she's going to be doing again,

playing softball, because someone checked that box. Nope, she's not going to be playing softball anymore. I want to still play softball. She's done. She's done with softball. You're going to be like that movie where... You can't make me.

I think Jenna has, Jenna, she's assessing what's important to her and she's realized that softball is not worth it anymore. You're going to be like that person who's, that movie where the guy got his arm fixed and he was throwing it faster. You're going to come back in that one leg's going to be so fast that you're going to be running around in circles because that one leg is so much fast than the other.

She runs in a curve, but boy, she's fast. The softball version of birthday of the year. Running in a curve is ideal in softball. That's right. Well, as long as the right leg is the fast leg. No? Yes, you want the right leg. If your left leg is faster, which knee is it? It's my left knee.

Oh, you're gonna go the wrong right. You gotta go to third base first. What, no. Because you want the outside leg to go faster because it pushes you to the right. That would be the right knee. Yeah, her left leg is gonna be faster because it's got a new tendon.

Oh no, I think it's gonna be slower. Don't tell her that. Maybe I switched to soccer. I'm trying to make this positive. Or I become an excellent, like, your goal kicker. Ooh. I think you need to capitalize on your brain.

Okay. You know, you got good brains on you. Use those brains. The brain's not gone anywhere. Use the brains more and the knees less. Oh, but I did listen to all the ACL videos that people sent. I did want to say, because one person, Audrey, who reached out, he was actually in, like, her career is an organ donation or tissue donation.

So we were incorrect. You can make a career out of it. Tissue donation, they have a better way of storing it. It stores better than organs. So potentially when we filmed that last episode, the person whose tissue I got may have already been dead. It may have already been doing. Anyway, clarification. We learned that.

Did you hear about last week's episode that you weren't a part of? Since you weren't here, we decided that we were going to step away from doing this podcast. It's all my fault. You weren't here to talk us out of it, so we were like, oh, this is our opportunity. Jenna is out. I'm so sorry, everyone. Yes, if you happened to miss last week's episode, we did two things. number one we broke the news that we are taking an indefinite hiatus from ear biscuits starting

at the beginning of the year last episode of ear biscuits is going to be this year before we take the indefinite break and the other thing we did is we kind of gave some context as to why we made that decision including me telling the story of what I've been dealing with in the heart region I now have a pig heart do you want to hear that whole episode I don't have a pig heart If you have pigs Make sure that they're organ donors That's right

Get your pigs to check that box Get your pigs and check the box I don't have a pig heart But I did have heart problems They seem to be gone But anyway Another week you're still doing good If you, dear listener

Have submitted a voicemail In response to that We might be playing Some starting next week But today we're going to keep it light We're not going to commiserate on this being the slow winding down of ear biscuits over the rest of 2025.

We're not going to get sad about it. No, we're going to celebrate. We're going to be positive. We're celebrating. You are sitting in the presence of one of the members of the winning team of the 25th annual Emmys Golf Classic, Link. Your best friend right here. Won an Emmy golf?

I haven't won an Emmy. In fact, I've never been nominated. But I took part in the TV Academy Foundation's tournament to raise funds for the internship program for the academy that gets people from all across the country and the world, ostensibly, to come and get careers in the entertainment business. Okay. Met somebody from Durham, North Carolina who took advantage of that opportunity. But anyway, you know, I was a featured celebrity. I was representing all of YouTube because I was the only YouTuber there

I was the only non-sort of TV person there and we won and your boy brought his A game it should have been televised I'm gonna tell you I hit some shots that should have definitely been televised but they'll just be in my mind forever

I can tell you had a pep in your step when you walked in this morning it's because he had won at something I didn't even know I'd won when I came I fell this morning. You told me you fell. I had to go. I had to leave early, so I didn't get the announcement, but I knew that we were leading, you

know, amongst the teams that had turned their scores in. Now, let me just, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell this one story because if you know, you know, like if you're a golfer, you will be impressed with this story. If you're not a golfer, just give it a chance. Okay. Can I tease something that I'll tell in case people are like, oh no, this is the last thing This is the last thing I want to hear about is a golf story. After Rest Golf Story, I will tell a story of my experience at a lesbian music festival.

That's good. In Maryland. That'll get more people interested, I'm sure. So we're playing at a course that I've always wanted to play at, which is the Riviera Country Club. Famous, one of the best courses in the nation, if not the world, that you have to know. somebody who knows somebody to get into this place and play. And so where is it? It's in the Palisades.

But rumor has it if you want to be a member of this country club in order to play anytime you want, you have to pay, now of course you have to pay yearly dues, you know, but just to get into the country club, you have to pay $1 million, cash, just to be a member of the country club. The country club. A one-time fee. That's to get in the door. Rumor has it. Rumor has it.

I don't think they disclose it, but rumor has it. Rumor has it. And then every year you're paying a due on top of that. You're not paying a million dollars every year. No, but you're paying a lot. Just an entry. They set the bar high, you know? What?

What's all the hubbub about? I mean... It's a wonderful... It's a country club. You know, I'm never going to be a member of this country club, but I wanted to play this course, and I wanted to play this course for a wanted to play this course for a good cause. I don't get to play golf a lot. So I, you know, I let the people who figure this stuff out for us know that if there's

an opportunity for me to show up in a charity golf tournament, I would like to take advantage of it. I don't need to know how it happened. This one comes along. And I mean, if the, if the price tag that you're not going to pay is. There's no way to calculate it. It seems to be worth it. Well, I mean, you have to have like, in order to pay a million dollars to join something, You need to have like a hundred million bucks lying around or something, you know?

Okay. So I can't, there's no way I can actually contemplate the... I guess what I'm asking is the course nice. The course is so nice. Imagine the nicest green carpet you've ever gotten naked on and rolled around on, and that's what the greens feel like. I didn't get naked out there. The fairways are perfect.

Everything is immaculate. I mean, they are putting some money down into that grass. Really? It's the best grass. And you're a man who likes grass. you like grass. Yeah. You like to cut grass.

I would appreciate it the different levels of grass. So fast. Anyway. How about the trees? The trees are beautiful, like. And can you see the ocean? You can see the ocean from,

is that, did I dream that? You can't see the ocean. It's in the valley. Okay. So it's all those nice country club houses around, like up on the ridge. Uh-huh. And then there's the course down there.

Okay. So there is a famous par three. Now, for those of you who don't know, that means that you're supposed to get it into the hole in three strokes. That means you hit the ball once from the T to the green and then you put it twice into the cup. So you're supposed to get there in one shot

all the way to the pin where you can put. Now, I've never played a par three this long because this is a course where like pros play. So this, I don't know what hole it was because everybody, started on a different hole so you just kind of this you just went in order but it was 250 yards long that's two and a half football fields I've never played a par three that's longer than two maybe 200 yards right okay I'm now a 48 year old man who plays golf twice a year and has a bad

back I don't swing that hard anymore and so I can't hit it that far but I knew that for for 200 like to go 250 yards and there's a sand trap in front of the green 200 to 50 yards and land on the green, I needed to hit it high, so it would go up and it would land. So I choked up on my driver, and I teed it up high. And let me just say, so it was a charity golf tournament, and one of the things that they had set up was, on most holes, there was like somebody there with a table, and there was like some little contest for that hole. Like, longest drive wins an electric toothbrush or that kind of thing.

There was lots of stuff like that. And this was, if you can get on the green with your T-shot, You win a Peter-Milar belt. Not really in the market for a Peter-Milar belt, so that wasn't my motivation. Was it there? Were they dangling around? Oh, all of them right there rolled up real nice. Braided belt.

Braided belt. They're back. Okay. Braided belts are back in a big way. So. Peter Malar. Your boy steps up. And I'd been playing well, okay? I was in a groove.

But I did not have the confidence. that this was going to happen, but I hit a perfect shot that just went high, floated up, landed softly on the green, 25, 30 feet from the hole, which is very close when you're two and a half football fields away. And I hate this, so the way it works in the format that we were in is you take the best first shot, the best T shot, and then everybody plays their ball from there.

So we had five chances to make this like, 30-foot putt, which is not easy to make a 30-foot putt. And I missed it by like two inches, and everybody else missed it. But we ended up winning by three strokes. Hold on, we won the whole tournament. Did they hand you the belt when you did that? Well, the lady behind the T said, are you on the green?

And I was like, I think so. I can't see anymore. And it's two hundred fifty yards away. I was like, I think it is, but the way that the green was kind of set up, you couldn't really see you. I was like, I think so. I think I should take a belt, and I took the belt. And I was like, I'll bring it back to you

if I didn't land on the green. Lying to her. But I was up there on the green, buddy. I got to say, it might be, I mean, it's not the best shot of my life, but it's in the top five best shots of my life. Wow, I mean, I should start dangling braided belts around here for you. All it takes is a braided belt.

If I want you to do a good job at something, you got to give you a Brady Bell. So hopefully next year I will be... You want to know the Brady Bell, buddy? Hopefully I will be defending the title next year. I don't know if this gives you- Let me see it then I don't have it on I told you I wasn't in the market You're not wearing the belt no I'm gonna hang it on my wall like a bass Oh

It's a trophy I think that this might get us an Emmy. That's all I'm gonna say You know we've tried we failed a couple years It's who you know, but I think this might be it I think this might be it You know if you go to the website What did you do when there's a picture of me with my team? You thought you landed on the green Did you did you fistbox I keep it cool you know me You act like you meant to do it. Here's the thing that I learned a long time ago.

Let your game speak for itself. If you land on the green, that did the talking. You don't need to do something. You don't need a fist pump. You don't need to say anything. And why do you have to negotiate to get the belt? I think it's on the green. I'm just going to take this braided belt.

Well, because she said, did you hit the green? I was like, I think so, and I just took a belt. I kind of did it in one motion. I think so. I think so. Give me an X-O. How many belts were dangling up there? we're dangling up there.

I wonder how many people did what you did. I'd say there were 15 belts, but there was also a box, I think, with more belts, just in case. Yeah, probably every six-person got a belt. So, yeah, I'm riding high today. I'm feeling good. My back hurts like hell.

Oh, it does? I mean, even though it didn't hurt while I was playing, I woke up in the middle of the night, like just adjusting in bed, and I was like, oh, yeah, there you go. Big boy's been swinging. See, Jenna, he needs to stop with the golf. He need to stop with the softball.

No, I'm fine. I'm back. I'm already back. It was just a little bit of tenderness. Link, with your logic, you should have stopped mountain biking years ago. That's right. You've gotten hurt worse than all of us. That's a good point.

That's a good point. All right. Yeah. All right. We didn't break anything. I'm really just upset that I don't have a Brady belt. The Brady belt's way too big for you. Well.

Way too big. I got the X-L and I think it's too big for me because I put it on over my belt when I tried it on. It's not how you wear a belt. I already had a belt on. Yeah, but you gotta take into account the fact that it's not going over another belt. I didn't want to hold the group up sizing my belt. It was more about the idea of the belt.

Clearly. You know, it was what the belt represented, which was getting on that green. Clearly. Man, when we were younger and just, started in our business. Do you remember how stressful the money aspects of it were? Yeah, we had to be so diligent to make sure we didn't get sunk with overdraft fees.

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Okay. Hit me with that voicemail. Hey there. I'm pretty sure that it's, link is probably, you're probably going to talk about this no matter what, but I thought I'd give you. a segue, potentially. But I had the pleasure of meeting Link and his family at all things go this past weekend in Maryland. And I just wanted to ask

about the experience. I work at that venue. So, you know, it's very special to me that you were there. So who did you see? Who did you enjoy? What did you think of the venue? What did you think of Maryland?

I'd love to hear it all. All right. Have a good day. Bye-bye. My family, I think Lando identified that All Things Go Festival was happening on the East Coast many, many months in advance, and he and his friend wanted to go see a number of people. And then they told Lily, and she wanted to see some people. And then Christy's like, I'm going to be superhero mom, and I'm going to make this happen.

Let me see if I can get us tickets. What that meant was, I'm going to see if I can use your dad to get your tickets, which meant your dad had to go. But then I found out, hey, oh, Clero's going to be at this thing? I'm a huge Clero fan. Dochi is going to be at this thing. Okay, I'm sold. That's it. Let's make this happen.

We ended up only being able to go, we decided to go to Maryland instead of New York City. It was happening in both. I think people who were there on Friday night came to Maryland on Saturday night and they kind of swapped back and forth. It was concentric, not concentric, but co-existing versions of the theme festival, just different artists, different night.

We didn't really know about New York so we went to Maryland. I'm glad we did. It's a really cool venue. The amphitheater there outdoors. That's what the amphitheaters are these days. I did not know that all things go was referred to as the lesbian Coachella. Okay.

But I was also not surprised to hear that because there were a lot of lesbians there. And they let me know that they knew me. These are my people. These are my people. I received lots of quick, and cute interactions with lesbian people, but also some gays. There was also gay people there. Cool.

There was all types of, there were not all types of people there. It was mostly lesbians and then some gays and then a few straight people. Did they make their orientation known or did you just infer? I just inferred because I feel like I'm pretty good at that at this point. Okay. You got a better gay dar than hair dar. Yeah, I can't tell if you're wearing a toupee. Right.

I just think it's more of a safe assumption there. Okay. Had a good time. I mean, had a really good time. But the thing is, because of the kid's school, we had to choose to only go two out of the three days. And they really wanted to see the Marias, which I am a fan of the Marias.

But I much would have rather have seen Dochi, who was there Sunday. So like, here we are leaving Thursday so we could be there Friday and Saturday. And then I didn't get to see Dochi on Sunday. And I'm absolutely alligator crushed by this. It's, it is, it's a loss that I have not recovered from. I'm upset about it. Yep. And I should have just stayed on my own, but I still have not seen Dochi in person.

But I did get to see Clero, amazing show, also so Clero at the non-lesbian Coachella, which is just called Coachella. Right. They do allow lesbians. They do, but I enjoyed both of those shows. very much so. But I also wanted to see Faye Webster, who have you seen? Big fan of Faye Webster. And a lot of Mythical Beast were at the Faye Webster show that you and Jesse went to.

The highest concentration of mythical beasts that I have ever experienced at a concert. Was it the Faye Webster concert? That was my experience at all things go, and I'm not even six foot seven. Yeah. With a buttload of hair coming out of my head. Yeah. What can I do? I don't draw the eye as much as you do.

I wanted to see Faye Webster, but they were in the pit trying to get closer and closer to see Claro. So they were willing to not see Faye Webster on the second stage. Different stage. So I went over to the other stage with Christy and our friend Nicole, who lived in the area, a big music fan. and so we invited her she came with us and so then we're starting to walk up and there was already a crowd forming for Faye Webster but we made our way up there

and at a certain point well I saw someone making their way through the crowd and at that point I'm like I'm with that person and I just start going because now they're they're busting through people and I'm just with the person busting through people and I'm like, I'm willing to do this to get a little bit closer. I enjoy Faye Webster and then I got out of there and then I went over to Clero

and I was able to get into the pit and I got reunited with the kids and we had a wonderful time. But only because I had confidence that I could get up there was I able to see Faye Webster because the day before Lily had gone over on her own to the other stage to see this group called the last dinner party. A rocking group of ladies of with some, I think they're from England. Okay. I don't know the last dinner party that well,

but Lily was like really, that was her main one she wanted to see. So she went out on her own to see them the first night while we were at the main stage, but then I'm like, I want to surprise Lily and I want to like, I want to experience this with her. So I'm going to try to get up there.

By the time I got over there that first night, I was like, man, this crowd is deep. And I had Christy and Nicole with me, and then I'm like, all right. And I motioned for them to follow me. And then at a certain point, as I'm trying to make my way through the crowd, I realize that Christy's no longer there. She has abandoned this effort. And I say to Nicole, because I knew Nicole wanted to see them too. And I was like, listen, our mission is. to get to Lily.

She's texted that she's right in the front, in the, in the pit, like, almost against the rail, but not quite. I think we can get to her. But it looked impossible. I'm like, do you mind if I hold your hand? She said, no. So I grabbed Nicole's hand, and then I just start going through people, stop going through people. Now, let me interject for a moment.

Okay. So you are at a concert that features a heavy, concentration of mythical beasts you are holding the hand of a woman who is not your wife as you run through the crowd of mythical beasts in public yeah this is I mean I didn't even think about that okay until right now until right now okay I also didn't think about the fact that I was cutting through a bunch of people many of which might recognize me even if I wasn't holding a strange woman's hand she's not strange she was just Not my wife.

And what's your technique? You go side with the elbow. I go a move a little bit laterally. So zigzagging back and forth like when you're running from an alligator. Did you have, and then when you get, but not the best you're not supposed to do that. Oh.

When you get to. Yeah, you're not supposed to do that, but that's what people think you should do. When you got to an impasse, did you say something? Excuse me, my wife's up there or my daughter. The key is you never stop moving. You just redirect a little bit. Okay.

I mean... This is why I don't go to festivals, by the way. I have received, I will say, at this point, well, I received feedback on TikTok because apparently enough people saw me, people started posting pictures of me on TikTok of them seeing me in the crowd. And then other people would post their pictures of seeing me in the same crowd. So like lots of shots of like the side of my head or the back of my head or like me looking another way, which is fine. What was the feedback? The feedback.

The feedback was that I was cutting in front of a bunch of people, and that just because they knew who I was, it wasn't quite enough reason for them to be okay with me just cutting in front of them. You mean to get closer to the stage? Yes. You're not supposed to do that once the crowd is set. Well, there was, I mean, if there's gaps, I'm going for it. Yeah, people do that.

People do that. But then people who've waited there a long time, they get a little testy. and I got to a point where it got so thick that I was like well for a while I was thinking we're gonna make this I'm gonna get there I'm gonna get there Lily

and the show hadn't started people were just mulling around waiting for a band to come out I mean this is the difference between me and you I would never do this and even if my child's life depended on it I might be like I don't know I don't think I can do it

I think this is it we've said our goodbyes I don't think I'm gonna make it like I am so opposed to doing what Being as big as me, you can't do it. You can't do it. You can't be cutting in line and then being six foot seven

standing in the front. That's the word. With my hair, I just, no festivals, no more. I don't do it. I started to feel a level of, a little self-awareness. Shame is the word. A little shame. Yeah, I felt a little shame, and so I started slowing down

and I started, I couldn't find any way forward, but then the moment I couldn't make any progress, I was like, all right, this is where we are now. And that's the dicey moment, because you're stopping and you're telling somebody. You're telling everybody, you're saying to everybody, yes, I was not cutting up here in order to meet up with anybody. I was just trying to get as close as I could, and this is it, and I'm standing in front of you now.

And you're tall. I mean, you are tall compared to all these legs. I spread my legs. I did spread my legs apart, and a girl said to me, she said, I'm with her, so. And I was like, oh, yeah, why aren't you get in front of me? This is a nightmare. So then I reunited these two ladies, and I stood behind them, and then other people recognized me. You can't, listen, you can't call it you reunited them if you broke them up.

Like, you don't get to take credit for the reunited. Well, I tried. I did just try. It's like kidnapping somebody and be like, well, I brought her back. Well, you didn't have to say that. You've got me to think. So I gave up, and I was kind of dejected. And then the, I was wrong.

The show was already going on. by this point. They were performing. Right. That provided a little bit of cover. But worse, also kind of. No, I think it was better. Because there's music playing.

People are into it. Yeah, everybody's fixated. They're distracted. And I spread my legs to get my head lower. And then I just couldn't, I didn't find Lily. I couldn't see her. And so then I'm like, well, I know she's up there. I'm with her in spirit.

How did your friend feel? We were both, I don't know, I didn't ask her. I mean, she wasn't like, this is awkward. Nicole said later when she was telling Christy, who abandoned the effort. He said, oh, well, you didn't miss anything except me apologizing to everybody that Link passed. I was like the front of the ship that kind of breaks the iceberg so you can go through. And then she was the rest of the ship apologizing to the icebergs. But she got a good vantage point out of it.

And then we're watching it, we're getting into it. And I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to close my eyes and start. Forget what you've done. I'm just going to be into this. Pretend that nothing does happen. And so I do that. And then my phone vibrates.

Oh, you can feel it? I felt my phone vibrate. You get it an old super vibrate. And I pulled it out of my pocket and I looked down. And it said, Dad, look forward. from Lily. And I put my phone back in my pocket and I looked forward

and like three people in front of me was Lily. Oh, you almost made it. Lily was there, like literally as far as I am from the camera right now, she was there just like, what are you looking at that? And I was like, my eyes were closed. I was just being in the moment.

And so... I was in a shame spiral. And then we got up, then I skipped those three people and I got up there with her. Of course. And it was awesome. It was great.

And then how did the person right behind Lily react to two more people showing up? I don't know. Everybody was into, you know, everybody's dancing, and there's a little bit of movement at that point. And this was the last dinner party? Yes. What's their vibe? Kind of rocky.

Pretty intense indie rock, maybe some synth vibes. Any screaming happening? No, no screaming, just singing, but good energy. It was a good show. They put on a good show, and they don't, they really rocked out, as the kids say. Kids are saying that again? I think, maybe so. Faye Webster.

Oh, Faye Webster. A little bit sleepy, but I like that. She's great. I like a sleepy Faye Webster. She was great. She's the best, except for Clero. Sleepo, sleepo. Sleepy to the, like, of concern, or just like...

It was, you know, down tempo. Type him, just the reason why you like her, because it's like... It's cool. It's cool. It's laid back. And there's a slide guitar, not a slide guitar. Petal.

Petal steel. She's got a pedal steel out there. Which, if any lesbian brings out a pedal steel, I'm there. I'm there. And I don't even know if Fave Webster is a lesbian but I'm just saying that, independent of that.

I don't know. I don't know or care. I don't, and neither do I. I mean, I don't know if that guy, Noah Kahan, he was there. I don't think you say the age. Khan?

He was there. He was there. First night. Did you see him? I did see him. He was good. He was good. That's an interesting...

He wasn't really... he's not i'm not his biggest fan but yeah it's pretty broad anyway that's that's what happened to me thanks for thanks for asking i'm glad you survived and uh i'm glad you had somebody there to apologize on your behalf so i didn't have to i'm glad that she literally texted me so i would open my eyes and see that she was literally standing in front of me yeah that was good that was good next question Hey guys. I'm Claire. I'm 22 and I'm a lesbian. But I just moved out of my parents' house for the first time ever. And I'm really wanting to get out there and just like put myself out there and really start dating. Now, you guys both have very beautiful wives. So could you tell me how, I mean, for mostly comedic purposes, tell me how to find someone as beautiful as both of your wives. I do live in the South, so it's a bit tricky, and I don't think that I will meet my future wife in the same circumstances that both of you did.

But let me know, I guess. Why not? Thank you. First of all, when you call in, you don't have to say, for mostly comedic purposes, because we're going to give you mostly comedic purposes. I mean, in fact, you maybe take a little bit of the wind out of our sales when you set it up that way. Yeah, yeah. I think, oh, my God, that was Jenna laughing. I thought it was a live voicemail for a second. Yep, and Claire is on the line. I was muted for a while, but there was quite a few things that I was laughing out loud too.

Oh, okay. Now you're not muted. Okay. You give us this, all right. Well, I was going to say, yeah, this could be difficult, but I guess for comedic purposes, I could say, church is a great place to meet women like our wives but I will say

you know there's affirming churches these days yeah you know there's a lesbian friendly church there's lots of them and that's the word you're looking for is it affirming yeah that's the that's

if you if you want to Google if the church is going to be welcoming to gay and lesbians right that's the code word right affirming yeah because it's So you can Google that. Affirming churches in my area.

Because I don't really know. I mean... You can go to All Things Go next year for sure. Okay, there you go. In Maryland or in YC. I would definitely... I mean, if you're a fan of somebody that a lot of lesbians are fans of,

then that's a hot ticket. You got to go to where the lesbians are. Oh, my gosh. If I was a lesbian... it would have been like, I've been like a kid in a candy store at that festival. Huh. That's what you got to do.

Maybe, um, knitting stores, you know, I'm generalizing now. Yeah, that feels like shaky ground there. Soap marts. Soap marts? Mm-hmm. Yep. What do you know about soap marts? It's where the lesbians go.

Give me an example of one of those. Is it about a farmer's market? Bed, bath, and beyond. It's crawling with lesbos, I think. Maybe Bath and Body Works. Bath and Body Works? Yeah. Maybe.

I think Lush, more likely. Oh, Lush. Lush. Is Lush the one with all of the really exotic and, like, it's almost like, it's very like a teen soap store. Like, that's kind of what it feels like? Yeah, there's a lot of. of like bath bombs, there's a lot of different things you can create there.

Let me tell you right now, I went into one of those. It's fun. Because Shepard wanted to go in there, and he's like, Dad, you got, you know, I'm about lush? It's like, no son, I don't. And the, you know, there are a few professions that I have found have a, an especially high concentration of mythical beasts. So one is TSA. I don't, I've said it before.

There's something about... You have tete it before. I've tete it before. I'll tell you it again. For some reason, people who work in the Transportation Safety Administration, if that's what it stands for, are mythical beasts. I don't understand. I think it has something to do with watching videos on their break on their phone. Yeah?

Because, like, toll people or security guards. Yeah? Mm-hmm. Big. Yep. Because you're sitting there watching YouTube. for maybe you're watching.

Then you want to settle into something. Mm-hmm. Something fun and lighthearted, something that takes you out of the troubles of the world. Right. And we bring that. Now, the other group is Lush employees. I've only been in one store.

This is very anecdotal, but boy, oh boy. Uh-huh. I made a big splash at Lush. There we go, see? Because they're all lesbians. Yeah. Maybe.

Could have been. Maybe. Could have been. Mm-hmm. So there's that. I would say also, well, it's right here in front of us. Softball. Oh, if you're a lesbian and you're on the market or in the market and you're not on a softball team.

Right. You are really making a miscalculation with you. I mean, Jenna, are you the only straight person on your softball team? Um, not the only one. It's a co-ed team. Are you the only woman, straight woman? I am not the only straight woman. But we do have a couple lesbians, yes.

And they're good, are they? Yes. And they're so good at you. They're so good at softball. But so am I. Yeah, well, not right now. I know. Not right now.

Not right now. You got to give it time. You really messed up your knee. You got to give it time. Yeah, but those lesbians, I don't see them messing up their knees. No, my friend did. Okay. It's not this year.

Okay. She's been very nice. Yeah, you gotta be, you gotta join a softball. Hiking, right? Hiking, they like hiking. Or just Nalgin stores. I would say R-E-I, R-I in general. Yeah, just take a couple of laps around R-E-I.

Yeah, do that. Test out some hammocks. Two-person hammocks. One lesbian in a two-person hammock? Someone will remedy that. Yeah. You know, and that's a great just way to break the ice. I'm just curious what this, is it really two-person capacity?

Right. Can you help me? Yeah. Can you help me assess that? Says it right on here. Holds up to two lesbians. Yeah, this is risky, though. This is a little bit risky.

But I think a lesbian could get away with it. Yeah. I don't think a man could do that. Nope. That's a great thing about lesbians. I don't think a man could test a hammock. Nope. It's creepy.

In a store. No, no. But a lesbian could convince me. Right. See, there you go. There you go. I think we've given you plenty of options, Claire. And those aren't just for comedic purposes.

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today to get started. That's growtherapy.com slash ear. Therapy.com slash ear, availability and coverage varied by state and insurance plan. Hi, Rhett and Link. This is Thalia. I'm originally from Florida, but right now I'm in England getting my master's degree in zoe archaeology. Yes, that's the thing. So I've been listening to you guys a lot. I've listened and watched for a very long time, but as I'm working on my dissertation, I am sorting through boxes upon boxes of animal bones for eight hours a day, every day a week. And I have a question for you guys.

I need help with a title for my dissertation. It is focused on Roman butchery patterns, left on animal bones, in York, England. So any ideas you guys have? Um, it's from like first the fourth century, Britain, but it's the Romans here. And the Romans really enjoyed cows, pigs, sheep, um, spout it, some birds, it's usually what they ate. And normally when they butchered animals, it was with a large cleaver and like, they would just chop a lot of stuff. So don't expect you guys to know much about what I'm talking about, but I figured I'd call. ask for any ideas. Thanks.

How important is the title of the thesis? I think it makes all the difference in the world. First impression. First impression. First impression. We got to do real good for it. What is this thing going to be about? Roman zozoa-archological. I think it's zozo-archiology, which is something I didn't know existed, but now that you explain it, I realize, of course, it exists. I would call it zarchology. I don't think we can change the name of the science. That would be a bad form. After we name this thesis, they're going to be calling on us for the rename it all. So we got Romans, we got cleavers, we got the types of animals, we got bones that they're studying bones for butchering patterns.

Okay. So that like the knife marks on bones? Yeah, probably, yeah, right, yeah. Okay. And, like, cleavers floating in Roman aqueducts, you know, and on the sides of the Roman roads. How about this? Let's start here. What's that, what's that Bonin say about the Romans?

Okay, there you go. I will tell you, you're safe here because I already have the answer. Oh, okay. So maybe you can just free flow right now. you can have phone with it, knowing that we're going to land on it, because I already have it. Oh, well, I'm interested. No, but go ahead.

Now you have no pressure. Roman? Bonin. Oaning? What kind of knives were the Romans owning when they were doing the boning? Deboning, probably. What kind of knives, what kind of, is there a word that rhymes with onin that's not, okay. Crohnies, Crohnies, Roman cronies. Donan, don't, don't, don't it?

Don't it? Moning? In the monin. In the mona. Okay. With the Roman cronies. What kind of knives were the Romans holding? Yep.

What kind of noise were the Romans holding When they were doing the boning. The Roman cronies holding. In the moaning. Oh, holding. What kind of nize were the Romans holding When they were doing the boning in the moaning? The boning and the moaning.

But they were de boning in the moaning. When they were deboning in the morning? What kind of knives were the Romans holding When they were deboning in the moan? Okay. You may have beat me, but I think it's right there for us. Can I throw in? Damn it!

No, I was about to say it. Yes, you can, yes, you can. You and your knee. I should use is better. Okay, yeah, go ahead. Britanny? Leave her alone. Ha!

I like that one. Oh, leave Brittany alone. What? Cleaver alone. Cleave Brittany alone. Cleave Britanny. Cleave Britanny. Brittany alone.

Oh, I like it. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Okay, we've got two good options so far. Can I say? Yes. Yeah. Chopping it up with the Romans.

Come on. Don't look like that. Chopin it up. Chopin it up with the Romans. Chopin it up with the Romans. What you've been up to? What have you been studying? I've just been chopping it up with the Romans.

Are you familiar? Chopin it up. with somebody. Chopping it up with somebody means talking, right? Like hanging out talking. Just like, you know, mixing it up. Just getting in the mix with them, you know? Yeah, conversing.

And conversing, connecting, you know, picking it up, putting it down, throwing it around with the Romans, chopping it up with the Romans. They literally chopped it all up. In a nutshell, there's your answer to your thesis. I think there's a way to combine all these. Well, clearly you do. The Roman Bonin, I just feel at Roman Bonin. Roman Bonin, you got to get Roman Bonin in there somehow.

You don't have to say... I think you need a sub-title. Chopin it up with the Romans. What kind of knives? Subtitles. Subtitle. What kind of knives were the Romans holding when they were the Bonin in the moment? First to fourth century, Roman's archaeology.

Whatever. Give it the boring subtitle. Let me just say, first of all, I'm jealous. You know? Yes, I've got a great job. Yes. But it sounds like you're getting one as well, you know? Sounds like she's chopping it up with the Romans.

Yeah. I'm so disappointed in your disappointment in me. I liked it. I mean, I'm just saying that after Roman to Bonin and the moaning and the holding of it and all that. It's just stupid. I know, but I'm just saying I was expecting a little bit. I just was expecting a little bit more. That's all I'm saying.

You really built it up. Simple is better. It's gonna stick with you. You're gonna wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning and you're gonna be like, he was right. There it is, moaning, again, moaning. Mine was dumb, mine was gladiator. I hardly know her, or how she bones.

Oh, there we go. See, I mean, this, I mean, we got all kinds of options here. You guys are too far afield. It's like, it's lewd. You're giving lewd pitches. Mine had nothing, nothing lewd at all. Y'all are both looting it up. I mean, what's archaeology without a little bit of lewdness?

Yeah, of course, yes. I think bone jokes have pretty much ran their course in that community guys. Low-hanging fruit. Well, that's probably paleontology. They talk about big bones. I know. Okay, whatever. Next.

Hi, Retton, Link. This is Brighton from Salt Lake City. this voicemail is off the presumption that you guys are doing Halloween-themed episodes so I thought I was just kind of like jump the gun it's beginning of October for me when I'm recording this so my question for you guys my spooky related question is if you two were to both die who or what would you haunt so like is there

a person in your life that you would want to haunt how would you haunt them is there an object that you'd want to haunt and how would you haunt other people through that object um there's a lot of possibilities um yeah if you want to just let us know that would be great thank you bye um well it's quite presumptuous that we would you know that we would be doing like a spooky themes thing because we're not you know this is it what we're this you just made it you've created a spooky segment brighton you made it happen thank you for doing that this is this is a bit tough I mean I have an answer with no purpose oh do you want I have a strategy okay well if it's any you want to do what we did last time yeah and then I will not

be happy and then you'll be disappointed in my answer yeah I don't want to do that okay I'm trying to think do I want, do I have an enemy or somebody that I just really want to mess up their lives? There's certainly a lot of people doing bad things in the world, but I just don't, you know, I'd be afraid to pick up the energy they're putting down, you know, I don't want to be hanging around. I assume I'm like invisible until I want to be visible, right? I can easily hide as it goes, but like, the list is so long. of like bad people doing sketchy things and I'm not you know it could be crime it could be politicians it could be bad musicians I just you know I'm overwhelmed by

the options so I'm going to go bad musicians in a good target a different just scare them into another occupation it might make a great album so I'm kind of tip to go in another direction, which is children. Yeah, that's good. Haunt children, because they're so innocent. I think a lot of ghosts already do this. Because they can, you can, you get a different, you get a different reaction out of them.

Yeah. A lot of them are, you find those children that aren't scared by ghosts, they're like just not, they haven't quite lived enough life to know that it should be scary. You know, it's like, It's like, have you seen that footage of, like, crawling babies with snakes? They don't, they're not afraid of the snakes. That's AI, bro. Okay.

Well, my, that, you just can't say that and not know it, because that's eradicated my point. And what if it's not AI? I'm just saying there's a lot of AI slot going around that's like. No, but this was. And by the way, not enough happened for this to be AI. How do I get this out of my social media feed? Let's just take a slight sidebar here.

We need to have a... Yes, you need to have a toggle that's like... Why can't I hit a button that says, I don't want any fucking AI videos on my social media? Like, why is that not a thing I can just hit? Especially if they're putting that flag that's like, this may be AI. If it has a flag, just don't give it to the people who toggle. I don't want to see that shit.

I don't want to see it. I don't want to be more confused about the world than I already am. It is a reasonable request. You said the thing about the baby in the snakes. I saw a baby and an alligator and the mom, like the alligator's like coming up to the baby and the baby's trying to feed the alligator and the mom's like, get away.

And I'm like, I know that's AI, but the old guy in me wants to believe that it's real and I feel like I'm already being taking advantage of. I saw a grandma sitting on bleachers and she got shot with a t-shirt can at point blank range and I've seen it from multiple angles. And I don't want to see it at all. Yeah, I want to toggle that.

You know what I'm going to do? Because she sat back up way too fast and not be A-A-I. You know what I'm going to do? If they don't create a toggle, I'm just going to delete the apps. I don't need it in my life anyway. We don't need it. I don't need it. You don't need it.

You don't need it. I don't need it. And especially I don't need a much of fake shit. You're right. The real shit's shitty enough. AI toggle. And it's going to get to be so good that you're going to, we need to get out before we actually start wanting it even against ourselves. I don't want it. The moment that I know that it's where it came from, I don't want it.

I know, but you say that, but then you're, you get tricked. I'm not going to, I'm not, I'm not falling for it. I'm not falling for it and I don't want to. But this, these babies and these snakes were not, this wasn't AI. Okay. Are you going to haunt people who have something to do with AI? Yep. Well, that's a good solution.

The people who won't put the toggle on my, You can send messages to the people who make those decisions at these companies. I don't want to scare kids. I want to be imaginary friends to kids. But real, but imaginary. Yeah, I want to tell friends that I'm imaginary. I'd like to be an imaginary friend to a kid. Is that weird?

Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, yeah. A little bit. I will say that's weird. I remember when I decided I was going to have an imaginary friend. I was out... You decided? I was on the playground at...

in preschool at Lillington Baptist Church and I was swinging along alone and I was thinking to myself I think I'm going to get an imaginary friend right now and it turned out to be way too much work you could get him imagine him the whole time yeah I don't think that's how it works

I think that it's pop into your imagination not for me okay the moment I stopped thinking about him he was gone. See, I can make it easier. I can make it easier for young children to have imaginative friends. I can take all the work out of it

by being a ghost. I have an answer to this question. And I think that it raises another interesting question. Well, the best answers do. So my first thought when asked this question was I would go and I would haunt a famous atheist right

okay so like Christopher Hitchens or something well he's dead oh and I how'd that how'd that workout for him so but like okay so you got Richard Dawkins

but he's too old at this point so people would just think he was going crazy so I hate to say it but I would have to haunt my friend Alex O'Connor Okay. You're trying to what? Okay, because here's a thing. If I die and I become a ghost, what am I thinking?

Oh shit. I'm a ghost. Ghosts are real. Okay. This is a monumental thing that I did not believe was real. So what I need to do is I need to go to someone who, if they become definitively haunted by a ghost in an undeniable way, they will then send the message that ghosts are real. and I'm going to go around, not just to Alex,

but I'm going to go around to every atheist, every naturalist on earth who has a voice, and I'm going to haunt them all at the same time because I'm assuming that I can go to multiple ones in a night, right? And all of a sudden they're going to be like, yes, we're all being haunted. And this raises a really interesting question. Why the fuck hasn't this already happened?

Well, language. All right, okay, listen, I'm upset. I'm upset about AI and I'm upset about ghosts, because ghosts are not doing their job. If ghosts are real, you shouldn't be haunting the crazy people. No offense. You shouldn't be haunting the people

with a predilection to believe and make believe things. You should be haunting the staunch naturalists. You should be showing up at the atheist's door every single night and making it where they can't sleep so they will abandon their world, of you, realizing that you're real, which leads me to now believe that you're not real

because you're not doing that. So ghosts, ghosts, listen up. If you're real, haunt the people who don't believe in you. This is your mission. Why haven't you figured this out yet? Don't haunt the people who already do believe in you because nobody believes them. Haunt the people who say you don't.

Don't exist. And were you scared? You scared ghost? You scared of the atheists? You scared of them not believing in you? I do. What are you doing? You're failing in your mission.

Go haunt Alex O'Connor. Now he's my friend. I like the guy. Okay? But if you're real, hone him up a little bit. Hmm. Yeah, I think he's a little bit.

might just start talking about how imaginative friends are real. No, no, no, no, no. I think they want to lay low, you know? I think ghosts want to lay low. Their mission is not to, like, convince everybody they exist. The greatest lie ever told was that by Satan himself. What you're trying to say is the greatest trick the devil ever pulled is convincing the world that he didn't exist.

Yeah, that's not true That's just something that's said by people Who are trying to defend a belief that's indefensible But anyway, you've got your mission I gave it to you, ghosts Get to work Okay I think you need to end that speech with like

F-A F-A-F-O Yes Doesn't that make me seem powerful? Oh, there you go. When I say that kind of thing. There you go. I seem so powerful when I say that.

That was spooky, y'all. Whoa, you scared me a little bit, Rhett. You got so intense there. I got a little scared. Well, kids, and I'm talking to my imaginary friend loving children out there. Right. Thanks for listening today. I'll come hang out with you after I die.

F-A-F. Oh, goodness. And remember, you can call us because case in point, we listen. 1-888-EarPod 1. Hang in there, Jenna. Thank you. Hey, Red Link. This is Nick, again, the runner.

I just wanted to call and thank you guys again for your motivation. I just finished the Hartford Marathon, and I ran 256, so whatever you guys did, I guess it worked. Oh, and also, don't worry, Link, I have my goodness three evening ticket. Thank you.